Do you ever feel super stressed out?

Of course you do, that part of being a human

who doesn’t take meditation classes! Well, those stressful days have come to an
end!

Sit down on the floor with a pillow - not on top of it, with it. Part of being a
stressless human is treating all as equals, even pillows. Cross your legs in the way
often referred to as “criss-cross-applesauce”, and grabbing a canister of applesauce
wouldn’t be a bad idea (don’t eat it, sit with it ). Make the “A-Okay” symbol with
your hands, and close your eyes (not yet, finish reading this first).
Make a low humming noise. If it annoys those around you, that’s okay. You
need to meditate more than they need “quiet”. Clear your mind of anything and
everything. Have a big test tomorrow? Just forget about it.
Now for another type of meditation. Stand up and do bet one of your feet on
the other legs’ knee. Spread your arms out on either side of yourself. Close your
eyes. Clear your mind. Think about soft waves on a tropical island - if anyone tries
to annoy you, don’t listen, they’re a volcano attempting to erupt.
Do this every afternoon from precisly 1:89-1:87 PM every day. It will most
definetly work! You will be calm, and so will those who are normally with you at
those times.

Congratulations! You’ve recieved a N.C.B.I.M.G.Y.S.!