SELF-ADJUSTMENT OF SINGLE PARENT SUCCESS IN EDUCATING

CHILDREN

NAME : NOVIA MILASARI

NPM : 1601070112
INTRODUCTION
A. Background Of Study

In a family, the role of parents is very large. One such important role in
terms of education and character planting. The earliest human intellectual
knowledge and intelligence that comes from parents and other family members
on the basis of love teaches about values of behavior, speech, morals in self-
development so that they are able to live in society and be virtuous in the future
success of themselves. The earliest education before children get formal
education in school, children get basic education obtained by children at home
given by parents. Parents, are the earliest teachers to teach children about the
basics of life, such as manners, initial interactions with others, and planting
character in children. Education in children early on, is one of the keys to
success in the future. Moreover, the role of a mother who becomes a single
parent, the role of the mother becomes increased because it must also play a role
as a father figure who is not in the family that is earning a living. But single
parents are fully responsible for the child to provide good and decent education.
Women as single mother or single parent need a hard struggle to raise
their children, including fulfilling their family's needs. Being a single mother in
a household is certainly not easy, especially for a mother who is forced to take
care of her child alone because her husband died. This situation makes him
responsible as a breadwinner and time to pay attention to the needs of children
psychologically and in the world of education as well. A single parent feels an
imbalance in the family itself. As well as changes in the role and burden of the
task that must be borne to care for children, all responsibilities must be borne
by two parents, but he must run alone with full responsibility.
The phenomenon of single mother is often found in the community, this
forces the critical pattern of children's thinking in addressing it. Not only the
pattern of thinking of children but the way or parenting of a single parent or
single mother also affects the future of children and the success of children.
Success is not solely gained from intelligence in the academic field but also
from the fighting spirit and sincerity of the child and the hard work of the single
mother. There is full responsibility for the future that a mother leaves to her
child in order to get a decent and sufficient future. Of course, it's not easy to
realize this desire. However, in the community a single parent is able to provide
proper education to his children with a passion and hope that is not faded in
order to see the bright future of his child.
Being a single parent is not easy, requires a great soul in accepting and
facing this life. Moreover, in modern times that are increasingly expensive to
be able to provide education to children equivalent to a whole family. Of course
it is not easy and requires a lot of sacrifice, but with a great sense of
responsibility as a figure of mother and father who not only gives sufficient
affection but financially adequate as in other intact families. In this case the
environment is also a supporting role to shape the character of a good child and
not fall into many cases of juvenile delinquency due to lack of affection from
one parent or often referred to as broken home.
This study aims to provide knowledge that a single parent is able to do
the same thing with another intact family. As a single parent, mothers are able
to provide adequate education and sufficient love, so that children feel confident
and do not feel jealous or inferior to other children who are educated and raised
by a whole family. because actually a mother is an extraordinary figure who can
do anything so that the future of her children is beautiful and brilliant. In this
case, children can also feel the father figure in the mother who plays a dual role
in the family.
 B. Prior research
According to Hurlock (quoted in psychologymania, 2013), Single
parents are parents who have been widowed or widowed whether father or
mother, assuming responsibility for caring for children after the death of their
spouse, divorce or childbirth outside marriage. Whereas according to Hammer
& Turner (quoted in Psychologymania, 2013, para. 3), "A single parent family
consists of children living in the same household". In line with the
understanding according to Sager et al. (quoted in Duvall & Miller, 1985)
"Single parents are parents who alone raise their children without their partner's
presence, support, and responsibilities" (Psychologymania, 2013). In
conclusion, single parents are families with only one father or one mother alone,
raising children, maintaining, maintaining and being responsible for their own
household. So a single mother is a mother as a single parent must replace the
role of father as head of family, decision maker, breadwinner in addition to his
role in managing the household, raising, guiding and fulfilling children's
psychological needs in the world of education and able to provide a good future
like a whole family.1
1. Factors Causing the occurrence of a Single Mother
The cause of the single mother was, among others, the loss of a partner
due to death. Divorce, Abandoned or Left Behind Without Divorce,
Unauthorized Couple (Kumpul Kebo), Without Marrying but Adopting
Children (Suryati Ramauli & Anna Vida, 2009).
2. Phases of Self Adjustment Faced by Single Mother
Hozman and Froiland (1997) explain the difficulties and complexities of
adjustment that single parents must face. There are five adjustment phases namely,
Denial Phase, Anger Phase, Bidding Phase, Depression Phase, Reception Phase
(Sudarto and Wirawan, 2001: 44-45).
3. Characteristics of a Successful Single Mother Family
Characteristics of successful single mother families Receive challenges that
exist as a single mother and try to do their best, Child care is a top priority,
Discipline is applied consistently and democratically, parents are not rigid and not

1
Zahrotul layliyah”perjuangan hidup single parent” jurnal sosiologi islam, vol.3 n0.1,april2013 (17.15
22/3/2019)
 loose, Emphasizing the importance of open communication and disclosure feeling,
acknowledging the need to protect their children, building and maintaining
traditions and rituals in the family, self-confidence as parents and independent,
broad-minded and positive ethics, and able to manage family time and activities
(Suryasoemitrat, 2007).

4. Child psychology towards the phenomenon of single mother

Family split is a factual phenomenon that causes a disparity in children's
development due to incomplete parents and is experienced by children as their
absence. Heri Atlas's research results in his book entitled "The Role of Single Parent
Mothers in Dealing with Child Development" in 1998 stated that the more
incomplete parents make children increasingly experience gaps in facing their
development. Furthermore Heri Atlas states that children who come from failing
families have more negative self-concepts, more extreme expressions of feelings,
more fearful and more difficult to control physically than children from intact
families. The problem is often faced by families who are only led by single parents
is a child problem. The child will feel disadvantaged by the loss of one of the people
who has a heart in his life. Families with children who only have single parents tend
to be less able to do something well than children who come from families whose
parents are intact.
Families with single parents are always focused on weaknesses and problems faced.
A family with a single parent can actually be an effective family like a whole family
that is not dissolved in weaknesses and problems it faces, but must consciously
rebuild its strength. In conditions like this, it is clear that the burden and
responsibility is borne by the mother. with his status as a single mother. But on the
other hand children are better able to think more independently in order to ease the
burden of a single mother.2
5. Meaning of formal education for a single parent.
Basically education is very important for life because humans without the
knowledge handle will be difficult and difficult to have good habits. family as the
first education, because in the family the child first gets education and guidance

2
Hermia anata,”pola pengasuh anak yang dilakukan oleh single mother” jurnal ilmiah, april2014 (20.24
23/3/2019)
(Mustaqim, 2005). Changes in life where a person who is required to be the only
woman is fully responsible for his family's life. A single parent mother is forced to
be able to carry out tasks that she used to do with her husband such as taking care
of children, taking care of all home conditions and a single parent mother must also
occupy a position as a father of children who are fully responsible for maintaining
their children's behavior and discipline , single parent women have responsibilities
that are far heavier than their previous lives. As a single parent, surely this change
and change will certainly cause a problem, because those who initially acted as
mothers or fathers, now have a dual role in the family (Aprilia, 2013). According to
Widiarsih (2015), the dual role of single parent women is 3, namely, care and work
for women, family management in single parent families, management of women
as a single parent in forming quality children. Children's education is the basis of
the earliest lives. Education is a very expensive investment. Parents have a big role
in the future of their children. So to get the best and most trusted education, as
parents who are role models for children, they should think of their children's future
so that they are not miserable in the future (Siregar, 2013). Education is also seen
as a human investment because education is considered to produce human capital
large for development (human capital). Educated man can function as a workforce
that has technological capabilities so that it can help economic growth by increasing
national income (Dwi Siswoyo, 2011) From the results of previous research Afifah
(2014), concerning Community Efforts in Growing Awareness of the Importance
of Formal Education shows that the importance of education can change life to be
better.
In addition, the existence of globalization brings a change in the life of the
Pakuniran community which is not only in the aspect of view. The importance of
the child itself is a valuable part of the life of a single parent, is a gift that is entrusted
and must be educated, or an idea but also in people's behavior and lifestyle . is the
main priority of the subject, and also the spirit of life and work the subject is his
children. The view of single parent mothers regarding formal education is
something that must be obtained by children so that children have provisions for
life going forward also to help the economy of parents. Children's education is very
important for the lives of children and parents alike, sometimes they are even
willing to work hard to make money for the best education for their children. The
 hope of parents in the future is that children can get education to college and become
successful can also be proud of their parents.
The provision of children's school education is paid for almost all through
monthly tuition fees. Then the mothers also bear other costs such as the cost of
books, pocket money, gasoline, etc. There were 3 subjects in the study who were
on time to pay the children's school fees, one more subject was late in paying school
fees. Then here, it is seen that almost all mothers strive to prioritize the child's needs
and school needs first. Constraints in educating children are very diverse, there are
obstacles where as a single parent mother is difficult to motivate children, children
are difficult to wake up in the morning to school, then there are also children who
are still lazy often delay work, then there are also those who cannot monitor children
24 hours due to work from morning to evening.3

6. Observation Results

Being a woman without a husband, especially because he is being edited, is a

heavy blow felt by mothers in various parts of the world. prioritizing in terms of
education and children's happiness. The persistence of a single parent can be seen from
their time between earning a living and taking care of their children. A child is still the
age of development, especially adolescents are still in need of attention from parents.
This is a single parent means that is a single parent for a child, is a task while being a
mother and becoming a father to child. The enthusiasm shown by the single mother in
their role in children's education makes them more active in working and setting aside
a portion of their income for the cost of education for their children. Education will
encourage single parents to work harder in earning a living to send their children to
school, because for them children are priceless assets. Through education, single
parents rely on great hopes for their children so that when they are adults they can be
independent and always ready to face life's challenges. Although parenting is not a
mother, it does not involve a father, a single mother strives, and a little family.

Placement of children as a spirit of life encourages single parents to give

children happiness, especially for young children. In the construction of the community,

3
Afina septi rahayu”kehidupan sosial ekonomi single mother dalam ranah domestic dan public”,jurnal analisa
sosiologi,april2017,6(1):82-99 (19.36 24/3/2019)
 aged women who are single, widows die and women who have children without
husbands have lower status in society. There are several social strategies carried out by
single parents in carrying out their roles as single parents in community life. children
are invaluable investments for single mother. With the encouragement and enthusiasm,
a single mother can rise from the post-adversity and will again be excited to continue
living for her beloved children. There are so many of the single parents who are
reluctant to remarry the main reason because children's happiness is more important
than personal gain and they prioritize children's education to be more brilliant in the
future.

7. Interview result

By 5 informants who had been interviewed on March 23, 2019 at 07.43 to 10.00 on
March 27 2019 at each informant's house, namely masruroh at mulya asri west onion
bone, fitri in kauman, mother diah ayu palupi on batanghari and mother rahma at 15 a.
In single parent families with mothers as family heads, making the dual role of mothers
as single parents besides taking care of children in the domestic sphere, he is also
required to work in order to earn a living for the survival of his family. In the world of
work, the type of work, expertise and education is very influential with the amount of
wages that will be received. With a minimum education of high school, single mother
will have a job with a relatively sufficient amount of wages in accordance with the
amount of UMR agreed in their respective regions. One form of adjustment in economic
life can be seen from the amount of wages received with the amount of daily expenses.

Single parent must adjust their daily needs by planning expenses and income every
day, if it feels insufficient then another alternative that can be taken is asking for help
from relatives or borrowing money from other people and local financial institutions.
Life costs borne by a person single parent will increase especially after they return to
live with both parents. Indirectly aside from having to support their children, a single
mother is also required to be able to provide for her parents, especially if both parents
are unable to work anymore, so she really becomes the backbone of her family.
Fulfillment of the cost of education is also carefully thought out by a single parent, one
of which is by saving, this is done to prepare all children's educational needs in the
future because the child's future and happiness of children is a priority, by planning to
 save as early as possible, single mother is required to be able to set aside part of her
income to send her children to higher education.

There are so many single parents who feel that they should be able to advance their
children's education as much as possible, so that in the future Erek can get a decent life.
With an increasingly sophisticated version of globalization, the cost of living is
increasingly expensive as well as the world of education. A single parent must fight
fully in order to support their children and attend school to a higher level, which is
equivalent to a whole family, a single parent anxiety towards children is their
confidence when they see a whole family living happily. This is a big problem that they
have to solve by becoming a father and mother figure for their children. In order to feel
that the father's figure is in their surroundings.

Resource Data

No Name Age Amound of Address Single parent since

child
1. Masruroh 45 4 Mulyo asri, 2014
tulang bawang
barat
2. Diah ayu safitri 40 2 38 B , Batang 2016
hari
3. Harumi diah 38 3 38 B , Batang 2010
palupi hari
4. Rahma Sari 42 3 15 a metro 2013
timur
5. Wagiyem 55 3 Bekri 2015

A list of questions

1. Since when did you become a single parent?

2. How many children do you have?

3. Are there big differences after you change your status to a single parent?

4. How long can you adjust to your current situation?

5. What is the motivation of the mother to stay alone and not remarry?

6. What do you think of the future of mother's children?

7. What is your mother's activity now? And is it enough to finance school children?
8. What are the attitudes of mother's children with the situation of single parent
mothers, have they changed since there was no father?

9. What impression can the mother take from the late figure. Mother's husband in
educating in?

Transcript of the answer

Mrs. Rahma Sari

1. Since 2013

2. There are so many changes, the initial insecurities are sad. But over time finally the
process of living was able to provide a learning experience and I could take the
lessons from it all but thank God I could pass

3. Approximately half a year, I hit a heavy blow for the first 3 months, but with the
struggle of the children of the big Berwawa brand, I got up, my child was able, why
should I be weak.

4. While still traumatized, I also want to see big kids first, I want to try to make
children happy, because indeed children are a treasure, but if there really is a soul
mate we don't rule out the possibility.

5. Yes Alhamdulillah because the two are lodged and 1 is entrusted to you, a good
environment that can shape their character, can be seen in their future, even though
without a father they can live and they are still proud because their mother is also their
father

6. At first it was difficult to eat just like it was not enough, and now selling cakes is
already 2 years. But thank God I was strong, I was sure God was rich, I was able to
send all my children to school
7. The change is inferior, they have a father, sometimes the other one is picked up by
his father my children don't, after a while they can understand.

8. Yes the husband does not want children to drop out of school. The important thing
is that they have a bright future and can go to higher levels.

Mrs. Masruroh

1. Since 4 years ago

2. There are 4

3. There are a lot of changes, one of them can understand better how to find money
that is difficult, but thank God there is only a fortune

4. Long enough since at the stay you may have to get up rather than slump for the
sake of the children

5. The motivation seems to be better on its own first, the problem is it can't move on
too.

6. How do you do it, so that my children are successful and hope they can continue to
a higher level if there is sustenance if not yes it's okay because success is not just from
school can also be from prayer and effort

7. I am now selling small business satay, God willing, it can meet my needs.

8. Yes, they can be more aware of the mother's condition like this

9. The impression that the father just doesn't want to see his child become so difficult
and does not go to school

Mother. Harumi Diah Palupi

1. Since 2010

2. My child is 3 mba, class 2 High School 3 junior high school 2d

3. The difference was that it was getting harder but just enjoy it

4. It doesn't take long to get rid of that heavy loss

5. The motivation is to enlarge the child first if the problem is finding a husband can
later
6. Schools are high until their dreams are achieved

7. They trade

8. They are more independent, the more they understand the main point, they know
that they now have no father

Mrs. Wagiyem

1. Since 2015

2. My child 3

3. The change is there, the change is still there but not too prominent.

4. I can immediately adjust myself, like the word direct self-supporting, as much as I
can try to do the way the child can go to school, eating can be enough, we can do it so
we can eat every day without anyone looking for a living.

5. If I think, if I want to remarry, it will be a big problem because it adds to the

burden, adds to the burden that we can get that can be trusted by good people, if it
doesn't work it will be even more difficult, children can not go to school, look for
food it's hard to rely on a new husband, but still want to try to support the children
themselves.

6. If I think about the future of my child, if they want to work together like me and not
play games, I want to send him to school.

7. I am a farmer and goat breeder, thank God that I can eat everyday and pay for
school children.

8. There is no change and just the same, thank God, I am not naughty and still want to
continue schooling to a higher level.

9. If you are still alive, you are the father of the children who reminded the children of
studying the school, if I am not so fierce, rich in his father. His father hopes that
children will be successful and not be children who are not delinquents.
Ms. Diah Ayu Safitri

1. Since 2016, her children are aged 11 and 7,

2. There is, the difference is now being a father and a mother who takes care of
everything.

3. Since 1 year ago

4. Want to raise my children first

5. Want to send my children to school if I can if I can get a job

6. I work in a restaurant, it is not enough enough, indeed it must be sufficient,

especially with the needs of today's children who are more numerous

7. Just enjoy it, don't take it long

8. Children are used to living without a father after 2 years ago, more independent
understanding their mother's condition more