Professional Documents
Culture Documents
SIBC Notebook PDF
SIBC Notebook PDF
Student Name:
Phone:
Support@strategicintervention.com
Phone: 1.877.258.0480
SI Boot Camp™ Training
2
BY AND IN EXCHANGE FOR ENTERING THESE
PREMISES AND
A TTENDING THIS EVENT, YOU AGREE
AS FOLLOWS:
3
disparage any of the people or parties covered by the description in
the last sentence.
I swear under penalty of perjury that I have read and understand this
Agreement and agree to be legally bound by this Agreement and the
Terms of Service, that I am 18 years of age or older, have the full
right to contract in my own name with respect to the matters stated
above, and have no conflicting commitments which would make me
unable to enter into and fully grant the rights specified by this release.
4
SI Boot Camp Schedule
Day 1:
8:30-10:15
Intro
Silent Coaching (Page 17)
Fortunately / Unfortunately (Page 18)
SI Magic Three (Page 13)
10:30-12:30
Life Story / Zones Strategy (Page 33)
Demo Session
Practice Sessions
Q&A
12:30-1:45
Lunch
1:45-3:00
Speed Coaching (Page 39)
Q&A
3:15-6:00
6 SI Success Zones Strategy (Page 44)
Demo Session
Practice Session
Q&A
Day 2:
8:30-10:00
21 Journeys (Page 54)
10:15-12:30
Metaphor Strategy (Page 56)
5
Demo
Practice
Q&A
12:30-2
Lunch
2:00-2:45
Mode of Being Demo Group (Page 59)
2:45-3:30
Practice in Small Groups
3:30-6:00
Emotional Maturity Strategy Demo (Page 89)
Q&A
Practice Sessions
Day 3:
8:30-12:30
Prep for Archetype (Page 74)
Demo
Practice
Q&A
12:30-1:45
Lunch
1:45-4:00
Expanding the Unit (Page 70)
Six Human Needs (Page 64)
Demo
Practice
4:00-6:00
Coach Business Plan
Demo
Q&A
6
Day 4:
8:30-9:30
Graduation Ceremony
9:30-11:30
The Four P’s Strategy (Page 83)
Demo
Practice
11:30-12:30
Q&A
12:30-1:45
Lunch
1:45-4:00
Coaching 360 (Page 85)
Demo
Practice
Q&A
4:00-5:00
Certificates and Pictures
7
Strategies Index
21 Journeys™ 54
Archetype Strategy 74
Emotional Strategies 92
Life Focus 30
Life Zones 33
Metaphor Strategy 56
Pretend Strategy 96
8
Silent Coaching and Fortunately 20
9
SI Key Words, Concepts, Strategies
Archetype Strategy
Awareness
Brainstorming
Coaching Message
Directive
Energy Repair
Enrollment Conversation
Fortunately/Unfortunately
External Goals
10
Internal
Goals
Integration
Key Decision
Key People
Metaphor
Mode of Being
Moving Over
Note Taking
Offer/Block
Parts of Self
Presenting Problem
Pretend Strategy
Prioritization in Coaching
11
Problems Based in Future
Rapport
Reframing
Research Project
Safe Problems
Secondary Gain
Story Strategy
Strengths Process
Success Zones
Systemic Problem
Twenty-One Journeys
Types of Planning
12
The SI Magic Three
Elevation- When elevating the client, point out the good, make the
client feel cared for, create rapport, interrupt negative pattern, and
give purpose and meaning to challenge client’s state or perspective
when needed.
13
The Tools of SI Coaching
Understanding: Learning about the client, their family, needs,
goals, strengths. Experiencing: Creating a new state, discovering a
belief or value, taking actions through communications and activities
that create shifts and opportunities in the client.
Client Knowing: the client finds that they have the answer to their
challenge. This comes about from strategies, directives, and
education but this doesn’t always occur in the session. Often time the
client realizes what they should do or makes a decision well after the
session.
Holding the Space: A client comes to coaching with their own real
needs for transformation. When the coach understands this and holds
the space of transformation, discovery, and realization the client does
the work.
14
gain new perspective and new action.
This means you're not "waiting" for the client to have a problem - this
was the problem with old-style therapy. The client lay back on the
couch and anything they could think of (dreams, emotions, memories,
experiences) became a problem.
Example: Client Knowing: You have a client who has never made
big decisions in her life. You might give her the paradoxical Strategy
of giving her husband control over all her decisions for one week.
This will enable her to “see” that she cares more about her
independence than she had said.
Clients who wish to only do their strategies inside the session can still
receive enormous benefit from their SI Coaching.
15
Types of Coach Listening
Listening as healing experience (knowing that there are no mistakes
to sharing and that client’s experience is valuable and informative).
Listening with intuitive engagement (open to what you may hear that
isn’t said and you will ask about later).
Listening with joy and presence gives client the feedback that
whatever they share with you is valuable and that you are there to
support them not to judge them.
SI Listening
Some helping practitioners have the habit of interrupting friends and
clients to instruct on how to say things in a more positive or powerful
way. This breaks presence and rapport with many clients.
16
Exercise 1 Silent Coaching
Silent coaching – the client and coach have the conversation with
both in silence
Much of our work is in the realm of belief and hope. We do our best to
give and create a network of paths and experiences which our clients
will then use in their relationships, choices and life experience. We do
not get to control, see, or know all the ways that our SI Coaching
work will benefit our clients.
17
Fortunately/Unfortunately
Practice Your Elevation Skills
State/Vision
Exercise: Unfortunately/Fortunately
Helps coach to enter the flexible,
reframing, and creative mindset.
Notes on Fortunately/Unfortunately
How did I feel as Fortunately?
18
Keys to First Sessions
Type of Support in First Three Sessions
• Elevation
Expansion Process (moving from small view to large view and visa
versa)
• Expanding the unit (who are the key relationships in their life)
19
Outline for SI Coaching Session
S tep 1: Likes. Find out what client likes to do.
Find out what a client likes to do. Many clients have not ever been
encouraged and supported in clarifying what they really like in life –
and so this is a key way to support your client in creating goals that
move them forward in their life.
Get very clear on details that they like about a specific activity. When
you understand the details then you can help client to feel more of
that in other activities or parts of life. (Life Zones, Six Human
Needs, Mode of Being, Archetypes)
Learn what a client likes about a key person (expanding the unit).
Especially after a difficulty has been shared ask for the parts of the
person or relationship the client likes.
Find out what parts of life a client likes, how they like to feel, what
they like to do, what they used to like to do. (Success Zones, Life
Stages, Key Decisions)
20
Step 4: What is new now?
Ask your client to explore how things are different or new after they’ve
uncovered what they like, what is missing and have become
resourceful.
Key people
Values
Mode of being
“I thought I’d be a family person. I really care for others and work on
making them comfortable. Everyone talks to me and confides in me.”
21
Example of Note-Taking
Coach may
observe: needs
a supportive
ritual for
exercising.
What is holding
them back?
22
First Session Notes: Demonstration
While you go through this demonstration coaching session, look for
key words you notice, questions you have, observations on rapport,
curiosity you feel, opportunities for elevation, reframes that could be
used.
Client’s Key
Coaches Strategies
Words Directives
Observations & Topics
Relationship
23
Types of Clients
After your First Session, use Client Types to explore what type of
coach you are and what type of client you worked with:
What type of client (or type of goal) is easiest for you to work with?
Answer:
How could you explain your style and strengths to a friend? Answer:
Was there a part of the session where you felt uneasy and would like
more practice? Answer:
24
First Sessions: Types of Clients
Fire- Fast Changer
Strengths: focus, vision, urgency
Weakness: irritated, impatient, changeable
Water- Could be either fast or slow changer (or is used to going with
the flow)
Strengths: flexible, sees and understands multiple perspective, feels
and experiences their life and emotions.
Weakness: feels out of control of emotions at times, becomes
trapped in triangles, has a hard time prioritizing, feels other’s needs
more than their own.
25
for change.
Client often worries: Will the coach like me? Are my types
of goals or problems appropriate for coaching? Will the
coach think I’m strange, bad, needy? Will I be judged for
telling my truth?
26
Four Coaching Baskets
Basket 1: Exploration
Understanding and Planning
Basket 2: Imagine
Resourcing & Pretend
Many of the tools you have as a coach are in the creative realm of
pretend strategies. The client can implement these tools right in the
27
session and follow up with homework.
Pretend strategies allow for practice and create a new level of control
and ease in a person’s day to day life.
Coaching 360
Daily tea with an emotion (exact amount of time spent with an
emotion)
The Four P's
21 Journeys 3 minute imagination experiences
Dream Day
Fairy Godparent
Remembering details of something we enjoy doing and re
experiencing it
Resourcing by imagining a safe place we love in nature
Archetype Strategy
Emotional Maturity Strategies
Getting Closer
Getting Universal
Bubble Boundary Practice
Equanimity Practice (21 J)
Three New Thoughts
Basket 3: Action
Accountability & Brainstorming
Creating new patterns that client will begin to use daily or weekly.
Understanding and honoring timing that works for client. Swallow the
Frog strategy.
28
Self care rituals
Creativity practices
Dating in a couple
Conversations to have with key people (may want to practice
communication strategies before hand. Or have session on
understanding commonalities, needs, values, and priorities of key
people)
Things to do in their life that support an emotional, or worldly goal.
Ex. Calling potential clients, business colleagues, friends.
Basket 4: Including
Expanding the Unit
29
Life Focus Discovery Session
The purpose of this session is to understand the client’s life as much
as possible. The client will be choosing areas to focus on during
sessions. This will help the coach and client target areas for adding
into the client’s life activities, relationships, actions and
understanding.
You can ask the client to choose a number between 1 and 5 for each
area of life, one representing the least satisfaction and five
representing the greatest satisfaction. You can then ask the client to
circle four areas of life which they would most like to improve through
coaching. Let the client know that sometimes a session or week will
focus only on this one area and other times you may be covering
several areas.
Together you will be understanding the skills, actions, and tools the
client needs to make each area of focus a four or five level of
satisfaction. Some clients will want great balance in life and some
clients will want to put everything into just a few areas of life. It is not
our job to convince a client to change this preference. Most of the
time there is a natural evolution which occurs as a person finds they
can create greater satisfaction in several areas of life. They feel the
drive to spread their success into more challenging areas of life.
Environment
Social Life
P ersonal
Growth
Activities
Spiritual Development
Career
Purpose
30
Family
Friends
Community
Finances
Romance
Intimacy
Health
Self-Care
Hobbies
I nterests
Social Life
Spiritual Development
31
Notes on Life Focus Discovery
32
Life Zones Strategy
3. Ask them to stand for the exercise. You should stand too.
4. Explain this whole exercise (which only takes ten minutes total).
5. Here’s what to say: “First, I’d like you to tell me all about your
life, from the time you were born until the present moment, and
tell me all that in 3 minutes. I will time you. Do whatever you
33
need to do to go quickly. There is no right or wrong, so just go
with whatever comes to.” Then, say “go” and time them for 3
minutes. Congratulate them on their great work. You can take
notes while they talk, but also give them your encouraging
energy.
7. Say: “Now, I’d like you to do that again, but from the current
moment back telling the story backwards to the day you were
born. We will take 3 minutes. Go.” Time them 3 minutes.
10. After they are done with the process, take time to digest the
experience. This is a perfect moment to find out more about key
elements, people, life stages that they shared with you. Ask
them about how they feel after doing this exercise. Express
understanding of how challenging this is and how you felt when
you experienced the exercise.
34
Life Story Strategy
Hints to look for while you observe
Look for client’s pacing and body language, tone of voice, anxiety
level, and “aha” moments.
Elevation happening?
Understanding?
Curiosity?
35
Notes On Life Story Exercise
Strategies
Key Words Observations Directives
& Topics
36
Life Perspective Visualization Strategy
When a client seems stuck in a past trauma or life stage this
visualization may help them to gain perspective.
Ask client to imagine they are on a mountain top. Looking below left
they see their life path which brought them to this place in life.
Looking below to the right they see future paths and roads which will
take them in different directions.
Ask client to share with you each step of the way what stands out for
them that came before and what will come ahead.
You lead the client and should let them know that you may ask them
to quickly zoom out in perspective or get closer. They do not need to
see things like a movie and can simply use words to create their
visualization.
This strategy is for mature, stable clients who are not made anxious
by visualization or thoughts about the past or future.
37
Notes On Life Perspective Exercise
Strategies
Key Words Observations Directives
& Topics
38
Speed Coaching
You will experience being coached by five to seven different coaches
for three to five minutes and also coaching five to seven clients for
three to five minutes.
Directions:
Try asking the same questions to different people. Follow your gut on
what to talk about.
Next time I do this I would like to ask more of this type of question:
Prioritization in Coaching
• Outcome- Most people are not very articulate about what is
39
bothering them - it's a feeling. Just like chiropractic patients can
report leg pain that is actually a back problem, clients often complain
about a symptom rather than the originating source. Therefore, we
must prioritize.
When coaching you can ask yourself: What is the most urgent and
serious problem I've heard about? What do they seem to really want,
and what's holding them back? How can the client and I discover a
skill or action that will support them in doing what they want to do?
EXAMPLES:
Situation: Husband is cold and aloof towards his wife
Questions: Where is this coming from? What are his parents like? Are
there cultural differences? What are his rules for being together?
What are his expectations from home life, from himself, from his
work?
40
congruent with the rest of their life
Questions: What is the
parent's relationship like? Is there something intimidating, unfair, or
painful in the child's life? Who can the child trust? Who can tell me
more?
Questions: What is the company like? Who is the boss? What is the
relationship with the colleagues like? Is it very competitive? Does the
client like their work?
Types of Problems
Ask yourself after or during sessions: what type of problem or
challenge were we working on?
41
6 Types of Coaching Goals
There are 3 primary perspectives for understanding your client. A
client is usually focused on one of these lenses. As a coach you can
change the lens to create an improvement and add in a strength. This
is when it is helpful to ask yourself, “What is missing?” The client is
often focused on only one type of goal.
42
Focus on: meaning, purpose, planning, communication, roles,
agreements, needs, rules, patterns, triggers, and
experiences/actions. You should also understand the past while
focusing on helping the client move forward into the present.
43
The SI Success Zones Strategy
Great for understanding where your client is strong, where they could
use growth, and gathering information for future sessions. Through
the 10 Success Zones the SI Coach can create a plan for future
sessions.
Success Zones will help both of you develop a plan for your
coaching work together. The focus is on understanding how an
individual relates to their world. Exploring these questions will lead to
a better understanding of Life Stages, Key Decisions, Regrets from
the Past, Self-Belief Patterns (positive & negative), Mode of Being,
Needs Strategies, as well as targets and goals for the client to work
towards in coaching.
After our session, I’ll give you a copy of all your answers and my
notes on what you expressed in each area. Please add any answers
44
or questions as we go so that we understand how each area affects
you in your current life, relationships, your past, or how it might
impact your future.”
How is the coach helping client find more strengths? How does this
process help elevate and reframe? How are values elevated to
strengths?
10 SI Success Zones
1. Strengths
2. How I Treat Myself
3. Flexibility
4. Work Attitude
5. Perspective
6. Planning
7. Leadership
8. Social
9. State, Mood, and Emotion
10. Action
45
Success Zone 1: Strengths
What is a personal strength? Is it a quality you are born with like great
hearing, or physical ability?
How do I know what is a strength vs. a skill that I’ve mastered? How
do I place my beliefs in the realm of my strengths?
All these are great questions and for now you can file them away or
write them down to consider later in our coaching work.
Strengths Process
Ask your client to say, out loud, while you write down for them, the
following stem statement over and over again. Let them know you will
exhaust this question because often the best strengths are shared at
the end. If needed, you will prompt your client, answering the
question for them in the beginning with your truthful observations of
their strengths. These strengths you provide to your client can be as
simple as: I am strong because I take care of others. I am strong
when I speak the truth. I am strong in my sense of right and wrong. I
am strong when I easily make decisions.
I am strong when...
I am strong because...
I am strong due to my belief in....
46
Success Zone 2: How I Treat Myself
(Choose the statements that best apply to you.)
I can only feel good about myself when I’m better than average.
47
If life throws me a new problem I take it in stride.
I worry that I just don’t have what it takes to work hard enough to
accomplish my goals.
I don’t like work, responsibility, or practicing skills I’m not good at.
Instead of calling it work I call it.
I love my work.
48
I’d prefer to get things done than to relax.
My family and friends are very different than me. I often feel.... About
being different. Even when I get another’s point of view it doesn’t
change anything about how I feel or experience a situation.
I go with my gut and intuition, so plans don’t mean that much to me.
Plans are meant to be broken.
49
The biggest compliment a family member, colleague, or friend can
pay me is to ask me to help them create a plan.
I keep lists.
I follow my lists.
I am a natural leader.
The best leaders are good listeners. The best leaders are
charismatic.
50
Success Zone 8: Social
(Choose the statements that best apply to you)
During this past time of life being with many people was fun. I
miss interacting with more people.
51
The emotions I am most comfortable experiencing are:
1
3
I trust my instincts.
I start many projects and finish few but this doesn’t bother me
because this is how my creativity shows itself.
52
I need help getting organized.
53
Day 2
21 Journeys™ Class
1-Core Connection
3- Spinning
4- Stillness in Heart
5- Flow
6- Cleanse Emotions
7- New Stillness
9- Energy Ball
11- Water
12- Metaphor
16- Mission
18- Letting Go
54
19- Equilibrium
55
Metaphor Strategy
During Life Story or Discovery Sessions, some metaphors may be
brought out which are limiting the client’s potential.
1. Find out what metaphor is creating a limit for them. Often this
could be a metaphor about being loved, succeeding, money,
not being enough in some way, or a metaphor for a key
relationship in the client’s life.
5. Discuss how this new metaphor will affect others in the client’s
life. This invokes inner positive leverage.
56
Examples of Metaphorical language a client may
use and examples of statements which would lead
to finding the associated metaphor.
“At work I feel like my back is up against a wall.”
“When I think of selling my throat tightens and I feel shut down.”
“I want to date but I feel like a frumpy dog.”
“I love painting but can’t stand my inner judger.”
“I am like a brick wall.”
“When she opens up to me I turn into a scared little boy.”
“In my relationship with my Mom I’m the Mom.”
“My Dad always wanted me to be a boy.”
57
Strategies
Key Words Observations Directives
& Topics
58
The Mode of Being Strategy
Very often a client's greatest stress will come about because
somehow they are not able to live life the way they feel they were
intended to. For some reason, instead of relating and harmonizing
with their environment, their relationships, their goals, they are
clashing or internalizing a lot of stress or conflict. When we see this,
it's great to try to understand their mode of being.
One way to think of this is that this is how they express their mode of
being, their preferred habitual way of relating, interacting, achieving,
and meeting their needs.
• Helper
• Zen Master
• Lover
• Achiever
• Artist
• Leader
• Caretaker
• Loyal friend/Supporter
• Team member
• Rebel
• Peace Maker
• Organizer
• Observer
• Survivor
• Action Taker
• Lover
• Spiritual One
59
Mode of Being Strategy
If a client is miserable in their work, it may be that a relationship is
making them miserable, it may be that the workplace is doing
something stressful to everybody, or it may be that the client has
been prevented from taking their usual mode of being.
For instance:
A nurse loved her job and was the best at it. Then she was promoted
to head nurse, with a team of nurses to manage. She loved the
money, but she was miserable. It may be that her mode of being is
that of the helper / caretaker, not the manager. The coach may point
this out: "You know what, I think it's just that you're a caretaker at
heart, and that all this management is holding you back from what
you really enjoy. Could that be it?"
Once the client realizes this (if it happens to be true) she can
consider whether she'd like to move back to her position as a nurse,
or whether she can develop a new mode of being as a manager.
2. When in the past was the client more happy and fulfilled? What
mode of being was that?
60
a) Find a way to assume their mode of being within the current
situation.
61
Name:
Date:
Strategies
Key Words Observations Directives
& Topics
62
Example of Mode of Being used in Coaching a
Mother/Daughter:
A very devoted mother came to me for coaching because she was
concerned about her 19-year-old daughter. The mother thought the
daughter was depressed and worried about the daughter’s ability to
do well in college and be successful socially. As we spoke, the
mother mentioned that her daughter would tell her that she had a
backup plan. If college didn’t work out, she would move to Cuba and
be very happy.
The mother told me that, in her senior year of high school, the
daughter had planned a 20-person trip to Cuba.
63
Six Human Needs Coaching Session
Certainty
Uncertainty/Variety
Significance
Love/Connection
Growth
Contribution
Exploring how each need is met. Start with the need that the client
feels most drawn to. Let them know you will have time in the future to
explore all their needs. Explain the purpose of Six Human Needs
Psychology. Let the client know that this Strategy will give the client
greater understanding about their family and friends. By
understanding another’s needs we can quickly and easily transform
the relationship challenges we face. The same is true for our
relationship with ourselves. As we get good at meeting our needs at
the highest level we also create the emotional life we want and are
able to focus and prioritize what we really need.
64
Read out the needs slowly and use many descriptive words.
“Now that we have figured out what your rules are for meeting your
need for _____. How do you think you can make it even easier to feel
?”
“Great. Let’s make it even easier and better for your well being. How
could you do that? Remember what is really important is that feeling
happens every day and is in your control to feel. There are lots of
ways to meet _____ need. For example, I used to need to eat ice
cream to feel variety. Now, I browse pictures in my favorite Pinterest
accounts to meet my need for variety.” (Give example that works for
client and for you).
“Next, let’s look at what you expect from others to feel _____. Can
you make
that easier too? Sometimes our rules for others set us and them up to
fail. It’s human nature to expect everyone to have the same rules,
when really one person shows love by being on time and another
shows it by being funny and bringing coffee.
65
Six Human Needs Worksheet
Certainty:
Rule: What has to happen to feel certain, safe, secure, taken care
of?
Uncertainty/Variety:
Rule: What has to happen to feel excitement, variety, creativity, good
fear?
Significance:
Uncertainty/Variety:
Rule: What has to happen to feel important, special, acknowledged?
Love/Connection:
R ule: What has to happen to feel loved, cared for, connected to
others?
66
Vehicle: What I do to meet my need?
Growth:
Rule: What has to happen to feel like you are expanding, learning,
taking on more, thriving?
Contribution:
Rule: What has to happen to feel you are giving beyond yourself,
making the world better, making your family grow and thrive or the
larger world grow and thrive?
67
Notes on Six Human Needs Demo
How does the client react to a need they want to focus on?
Are they choosing a need that is missing, or one they enjoy a lot?
Does their focus on need or needs match what you expected from
them?
68
Name:
Date:
Rules for
Need Rules for Self Vehicles
Others
69
Three Ways to Expand the Unit
Expanding the unit means looking into your client's environment to
understand what other forces are acting on them. You are rarely the
most impactful person in their life - if you ignore those other
relationships, you're missing out on the majority of emotional
influence in your client's life. When you harness the power of the
client’s key relationships, you find the real motivating factors for
insight and change.
2. Phone Session
You have gathered information about your client and their situation,
and you're looking for another perspective to shed light on what is
going on. Maybe your client has talked extensively about their
spouse, for instance, but that's only 1/2 of the perspective. You're
looking for the other perspective, which can be accomplished quickly
by a short conversation with this key person in your client’s life.
70
can help you have a better relationship with them. Would it be OK
with you if I had a short phone conversation with them? Don’t worry, I
won’t tell them that. I’ll just ask if we can talk for a few minutes to
understand their perspective.
When making this call, you are letting the person know that you are
asking for their information and valuable perspective. You are not
there to coach or evaluate them (you're not their coach). This will put
them at ease and feel that they are helping by sharing their valuable
perspective.
3. Multi-Person Session
71
Session Focus: Emotions
When clients suffer from moodiness, anxiety, sadness, or uncertainty,
they are in need of a mood makeover. This can be done in small
steps during each session, or it may be the focus of one session.
Session Strategies:
Four P’s
Pearl Formula
Getting Closer to the difficult
Emotion
Coaching 360
Archetype
Crazy Eight
Pretend
Higher Consciousness
Healing Boundaries
Emotional Maturity Strategy
72
Five Strategies for Emotional Maturity Strategy
Six Steps to Emotional Maturity Strategy
Getting Closer
Getting Universal
Getting Resourceful
73
Archetypes Strategy - Integration
This strategy is all about integration. Inside of us there are often
different selves that take on roles, create meaning, and interact with
our world. These different parts of ourselves are experienced in a
variety of ways within a specific relationship or area of life. For
example, as a child, we might have been imaginative and free. When
we think of that little girl or boy, we may see ourselves in the realm of
fantasy, where gardens are full of fairies, pools may contain
mermaids, and it is always an option to have a super power.
Then there are the life zones or areas in which we act and think in a
specific way. So our logical and pragmatic self could show up at
work. Our caring and protective self-shows up when we parent. When
going on a vacation, we become a traveler who is adventurous and
outgoing. When we are with our lover, we are more focused on
enjoying pleasure, our senses, and touch, differently from our work
self, or our family self.
I use this process to help a client who would like to gain more access
to a part of themselves, like the lover or the magician. We begin by
finding a key question and refining the question until it is going
towards a solution instead of away from one. For example, the first
question a client asks might be, “How do I act more feminine around
my husband?” The coach could help make this a better question by
suggesting a change to, “How can I feel more feminine?” We have
removed being feminine towards another and we have replaced it
with a feeling which is at the core of the experience.
74
The Archetype Process
First, we breathe deeply and become centered. This is what I
call “neutral.” I explain to the client that neutral is a place which is
easy to return to at any time, just by breathing deeply and
remembering this is our core, relaxed, neutral self.
For example, with the question, “How can I feel more feminine?” I
would first ask the magician. I think of the magician archetype as a
close friend to the lover, which would be most directly related to the
feminine.
Then, ask your client to find the part of their body where the magician
lives. Tell them to breathe into this part of themselves and make a
sound of the magician, or to allow their arm or hand to move like the
magician. A client may be standing, sitting, lying down or moving
during this process. If you’re guiding them through this on a phone
coaching session, it is fine for them to hold a phone while doing the
process.
Third, when you get the client to be the archetype, ask the
question they have formed, speaking directly to this archetype.
You might say, “Magician, I would like to ask you a question today.
Your help is greatly appreciated.
75
(client’s name) feel more feminine?”
(Or whichever archetype feels right to you.) Say, “Warrior I would like
you to stand and take the position of strength and power that is
unique to you, warrior.” When client has done this, ask them again to
find a place in their body, or a gesture they make, and then make the
sound of the warrior. You may ask them to repeat this sound to help
them get into the state of the warrior. Now, go through the steps
again of having a conversation with the warrior, starting with the main
question, “How can (client’s name) feel more feminine?” You may
want to ask the warrior how they protect (client’s name) or if they
worry about her.
Keep in mind:
76
the most opposite archetype, like the warrior for the lover, in order to
get the deepest agreement and suggestions. This process should
have the spirit of fun, relaxed play.
Give yourself plenty of time to speak with your client after the
process. This time is important for grounding back into the core self
and physical body.
You may want to add a meditation that focuses the
client on feeling grounded. A simple example of this would be to
imagine their body like a tree with strong roots in the earth. Make
sure that before you send a client to drive home they are in a relaxed
easy state and are back to feeling themselves.
77
Parts of Self
With this strategy you are doing a modified Archetype process. This
is great for clients who may not like the idea of archetypes and feel
they are too “woo woo” or whimsical. Through the Parts of Self
Strategy, the client identifies two main identities that play out in their
life. These identities will be unique to the client.
Ask your client: if they had to identify two main parts of themselves
are is part of their day-to-day life experience, what would these be?
Let’s explore together how these two show up: when, where, why and
with whom. Also, when you wish they would not show up. For
example, a lawyer who is very identified with his professional persona
may wish to not show up this way with a spouse or child.
Integration
78
Archetypes Strategy/Warrior
79
Archetypes Strategy/Lover
80
Archetypes Strategy/Magician
81
Archetypes Strategy/Sovereign
82
The Four P’s Strategy
Use this strategy to help a client shift their state in relation to a
specific person, situation, trigger, or action in their life.
! Purpose
! Posture
! Presence
th
! Optional 4 P is to Picture it
Invite your client to use the Four P’s to transform a difficult experience
and gain Emotional Maturity Strategy and control. (Choose a “focus
experience” which is common in their weekly life.)
Explain that they can use this with any area of their life but each time
they’re create the Four P’s process to be specific to the event, trigger,
person, or action that causes them emotional stress.
83
The Four P’s Strategy
S tep 1:
Create a purpose for the interaction.
Most of our emotional problems are a result of being in the past or the
future. This creates sadness (past) and anxiety (future). As people we
have a tendency to expect another or ourselves to repeat an old
pattern, or we fear the future will be the same as the past. This keeps
us from making emotional shifts, taking risks, and expecting a new
state in ourselves.
Guide your client to tap themselves or touch a part of their face, head,
body that reminds them, “I am here in the present moment. In the
present moment nothing is the same as the past and I don’t think
about the future. Change happens when I’m present.
• Practice the Four P’s with your client at least 3 times. Discuss the
experience with them. You can also give them a directive to do this
practice on their own each day. This way when they need to use the
Four P’s they are very good at them and they are now conditioned to
react in a new way with a new focus and energy during their “difficult”
interaction.
84
Coaching 360 Strategy
1. Brainstorm all the emotions the client experiences regularly.
5. You may or may not want to introduce the idea of the Crazy
Eight during this session. Looking at what the swing emotion is
for the emotion you are 360ing.
85
Notes on Demo: Coaching 360
How easy is it for client to get imaginative?
How does the strategy help the client create greater integration inside
themselves?
86
Key Decisions Strategy
During life every person makes important decisions which are
guidelines for their smaller choices, values, and states. A key
decision may be conscious or unconscious. It may have helped a
person or eventually hurt them by holding them back from growth in
their life. Often, a key decision is made at a traumatic moment. This
can be a big moment which stands out in memory like the death of a
loved one, being hurt, or it may be a more subtle moment like
receiving a bad grade, being teased or bullied. During coaching a
client may naturally realized that at some point they decided upon a
general belief or value which is now holding them back. This is when
it is most helpful to use the Key Decision Strategy. The purpose of the
strategy is to allow the client to make a new decision now with the
resources they have. To forgive themselves if their key decision hurt
or limited them or others. The purpose is not to relive the trauma
which led to the key decision in the first place. I find it helpful to first
orient the client to their core positive values, strengths, connection
with self and what they love in life. From this place a new decision
may be made.
Example of old key decision: “I can not trust men they only want to
use me.”
After creating the new decision help the client imagine how this new
decision will benefit themselves and others.
Go back and remember old decision and the self who needed that
decision with compassion. See when that old decision may be
tempted to jump back in and take control. For example on a date with
a new man.
87
Explore with client how they will react to the old decision and
empower the new decision.
Ground this in the body, breathing, posture, use and image or symbol
if this helps the client.
Have the client choose a time of day to remember their new key
decision and feel the emotional reaction inside themselves as they
remember their new key decision. Practice in the session.
This may be a very powerful session and you will want to take time at
the end to have easy grounding conversation with the client. You may
want to ask about their week, work, plans for the weekend.
88
Six Steps to Emotional Maturity Strategy
Step 1: Feel it: sadness, fear, whatever emotion is happening. When
we join with the emotion it gets smaller, we take responsibility and
care of it from our innate kindness.
Now, you are moving away from the frustrated or negative emotion
and you are going towards feeling resourceful. This allows you to
choose a new emotion you want to feel.
Step 4: Bring up a memory or thought that invokes and gets you into
the atmosphere of that feeling you want to have (whatever the client
has chosen). If you want to feel creative is there a time or experience
or object that helps you get into the sense, the atmosphere of
creativity?
89
emotions either kindness, love or compassion we are bringing in our
own healing ability.
Step 6: Now that you are resourceful and in the atmosphere of one of
these top emotions think of an action you can take. Make this an
action for yourself or for someone else. Now you are choosing an
action from an empowered emotional state that you created.
90
Typical Emotional Pattern
Crazy Eight: a pattern of going from one intense emotional
experience to another regularly as part of life.
This strategy was
developed by Anthony Robbins.
When using the example of the Crazy Eight explain to the client that
through observation they are creating a third perspective which is
now breaking this destructive cycle. This new perspective has the
energy to create better ways to meet needs on either side of the
Crazy Eight.
91
Emotional Strategy Getting Closer
Use this strategy with an emotionally healthy client who is holding their
emotion outside of themselves. Do not use this with a depressed,
immature, unstable, or suicidal client.
Ask client to feel the difficult emotion. Be there with it while you are there
with them as coach, supporting them. Ask client to see what is
underneath the emotion. Elevate the client as they practice. Stay with it
for only 1-2 minutes. This is not pretending the emotion. This is feeling
emotion so fully that client is giving their love to themselves and to the
emotion. Therefore, it has a healing and lightening effect. Client should
be able to notice what else is there under the emotion. Often, this is
another emotion.
Getting Closer
The goal is for the client to be able to really feel what they present to them
in the moment. This might be a memory, a thought, a feeling as a
metaphor or experience in the body like a wave. While inviting the emotion
to be close client also is able to experience the emotion, thought or
memory becoming transparent or being gone.
You may ask what else they feel to discover the layers of emotions which
are there. The question may be asked as is there another emotion under
this one or is there a cousin emotion. Or would you like to add your love or
other positive emotion now as you get closer? The client is learning to be
very present and loving with their emotions.
92
Emotional Strategies: Get Universal
Oftentimes, a person is struggling with the feeling of being special
or different due to a perceived lack, struggle or challenge. Getting
Universal allows the client to experience connection outside of
themselves. This counteracts the usual process of feeling connection
with self due to relating through a problem or difficult emotion.
You can include the Research Project Strategy as a helper to the Get
Universal Strategy. As the client does research to find out who else
deals with similar challenges or emotions, they increase their
awareness, brainstorm solutions, become more compassionate, and
stop the isolation which triggers deeper pain.
93
Higher Consciousness Healing
This process was taught to me by Tara Springet
and you kind find more in her books on how to use
this strategy with yourself and with your clients.
• Discuss what higher consciousness means to client.
94
Boundary Bubbles as Helpers in
Emotional Challenges
• What type of client tends to have boundary problems?
• What are the client’s beliefs around boundaries?
2. Use bubbles for both client and other person. Make other persons
bubble very small and then give bubble to higher consciousness to
heal the person inside of their bubble.
95
Emotional Strategies: Getting Resourceful
Pretend Strategy/Directive
! Great Strategy for children ! Warning: Do not use with
having tantrums and parents unstable clients with depression,
losing their cool, couples fighting, suicide or irrationality.
individuals with excessive
worrying, problems that repeat.
96
Keys to the Pretend Strategy
Pick:
• a time of day.
• How you will return to your ordinary state. How do you know you
were pretending? You can shut off pretend quickly.
• You can see us use this strategy in First Three Sessions, when
client pretends to pick a doll’s skin. She used to pick her own skin,
now the activity has been transferred to a safer object than her own
body.
• This may even help with mild anxiety attacks, overeating, fears, or
any other emotional issue in which the client feels out of control.
The focus of pretend is to get so good at doing the emotion and then
returning to a normal or neutral state of mind. Essential to practice
this with your clients first.
97
Being Your Own Best Friend
! Great for everyone ! Explores limiting beliefs client has
about self or life.
98
5. Set a specific time to practice Being Your Own Best
Friend. Often in the evening or early morning is the best time, when
a person is closest to dream/sleep state or when a person can
inventory the day and be kind to themselves.
99
-Experience that for a few seconds.
This is your “energy home” that continues to grow and build inside of
you as you focus on its strength and resourcefulness. The more time
you spend here the more it will grow and be available to you. For
some, it may be helpful to imagine a specific scene they feel very
happy in. That place gives them strength, joy and whatever good
feelings they relate to it. This is the energy home they can return to.
Tell your practice partner, “I’m going to tell you a sad story, and while
I tell it to you I want you to keep touching that place that your energy
resides and grows from. You can feel what I’m saying, but it won’t
effect you in a negative way because your internal energy source will
be growing and spilling over and out towards me and the sadness I
describe. This way you are lifting me up in a kind and compassionate
way without lowering yourself. There is an endless supply of this
energy to lift others. You remain full and replenished. Giving means
creating and then more energy can be available to you and to those
you help.”
100
Strategies for Overcoming Negative
Patterns
Pretend Strategy
Ordeal Strategy
Metaphor Strategy:
Changing a metaphor can change a relationship or a personal limiting
belief and take a client from feeling stuck to seeing options and taking
action.
Never argue with a client’s new metaphor. Instead explore why this
image or word association helps them. Often times our metaphors
are very unique and personal so it can take time understanding
another person’s particular association.
101
Three Ways We Use Story in SI
S tory Type 1: A myth, folktale, fairy tale that is told to client to shift
state, to identify with protagonist, to understand more of the client’s
world view.
Step 2: Invite the client into a relaxed state (light trance) focus on
the breathing, sensations of sitting or listening, etc. You can tell the
client a story about a character, like an animal or an inanimate object,
that goes on adventure or journey. You put into your story the
elements, actions, and steps the client needs to take to get what they
want (happiness, achievement, better relationship, etc.). After the
story ends you go to the next step.
102
Key Strategies to Overcome “Being
Stuck”
• The Research Project Strategy
• Fortunately/Unfortunately
• Brainstorming Strategy
• Reverse Engineering
• Pretend Strategy
• Moving Over Strategy (using what you know fro success zones to
find an area to increase strength in your client.)
• What’s Missing Strategy (If your client had this they could then do...)
103
Talking About Your Coaching Practice
Your personal message Who do you serve?
Change your perspectives from, “it’s about me” to “it’s about them.”
SI Coaching Packages
What follows are plans for 3 different coaching packages. These are
written in shorthand; the way we might plan them out ourselves. This
will give you the sense of the contour of an 8-week session – when
you become more conversant with the strategies over the next
months, you’ll recognize how they work together.
3. Parts of Life. How do the different areas of life affect the client’s
needs and vehicles? What if the client were to meet needs in an
unusual way, changing their normal association to a need and an
area of life? What part of life has been ignored or given less
importance? When they are happiest, are the parts of life in a
different balance? Return to their needs and vehicles as much as
104
needed. If client wants to discuss the people in their life and how they
meet their needs/vehicles, do this and support their desire to expand
the unit.
105
they can choose their own emotional reality. Discuss how this
changes their world. What if they were to dream very big? Invite them
to dream with you. This could be in regards to a relationship, work,
hobby, business, or it might allow the client to have the expansive
space of possibility. Find empowering actions they can take in their
life today to start realizing these dreams and effecting others
positively.
For example, if you’re helping a needy wife who is very negative, see
her as a romantic. Ask her whether she has ever considered this?
Focus on how she likes to feel. Help her to express the way her
needs get met and how she wants them met in an even greater way.
If you’re helping a jealous husband, reframe it that he is madly in
love. The jealousy (as long as it is not too disruptive) becomes a
helper in the coaching session, because it is emotional proof of large
106
feelings.
When a couple has found 4-10 types of marriages, ask them to pick
one thing they‘d like more of for each marriage. Also, if there are any
rules they have that haven’t been clear choose one rule for each
marriage. Even if they have 10 or more, ask them to focus on just
one. Share together the different marriages, including hopes (what
they want more) and any rules (detailing what should never happen in
the marriage). Have them do this with you. If either rules or hopes
create any friction in the conversation, congratulate their emotion and
honesty and look deeper into the emotion or need underlying that
rule/hope. Discuss the importance of there being different marriages
within one relationship. Find out what gets all the attention and what
needs more attention. Is there a new area of marriage they’d like to
create? Is there a marriage that they are very proud of? Explain that it
only takes one type of marriage to work to know that they can all
work.
107
couple to practice with you and away from you. Replay and reinvent a
common interchange and elevate it to one where the true offer is
returned. Make this fun and successful.
108
Coaching Plan 3: Self-Discovery Coaching
1. Get to know the client. Allow for any stories, key people,
emotions, worries, joys to emerge naturally in the first session. Keep
the focus on how positive it is to share so deeply, encourage and
congratulate honesty, be very interested. Learn as much as you can.
Elevate the person and find the good in what they are sharing with
you. Explain that in this series of sessions you will often work from
the outer layer of a person’s life, goals, desires, emotions and
behaviors towards the inner deeper and sometimes harder-to-realize
authentic person.
4. Look at rules and tests the client has in their life, either for
themselves or others. How do they tie into meeting needs and having
the emotions they want? Talk about 3 Ps and apply them to the
different areas of life.
109
express in spoken words.)
110
My Coaching Message
Basic 5 Questions/Answers:
1. Who am I...
2. What I do is...
3. Who I do it for...
4. What others need...
5. How they change as a result...
Expanded:
Who are you? (Person says their name.)
What do you love to do? Do you love to talk, teach, make art,
write programs, play with animals, create beauty, argue, debate,
stretch, dance, play chess, surf, clean teeth and the list goes on and
on...
(Be with it, then tell me.)
What is the one thing right now you feel extremely ready
to help others with? (You have it, see it, feel it.)
Put it together:
I am...
I do...
I do it for...
These people need...
How do they change as a result.
You have just gone from inward facing to outward facing in your
orientation. Most successful happy people focus on doing things for
others and making others happier. This then makes you happy.
The
result is that when you are asked by someone, what you do you say?
111
I love my work because I’m always being inspired by what my clients
believe in and find meaningful.
Most people benefit hugely from a few sessions where they really
learn what is most meaningful to them in life.
Enrollment Conversation
The enrollment conversation is a free consultation where you meet
the prospective client, hear about and understand their needs, show
your understanding, and give them a sense of what you would do in
your coaching to help them.
In this session, you give your advice freely, but it is also clear that
they have not yet retained your services.
Tell the potential client what you have heard them express as their
needs and desires for their life. You are looking for their confirmation:
112
“yes, that’s what I want.”
Social proof: let them know that you have worked with clients in
similar situations and have brought them powerful benefits.
Step 3: Reframing
For instance, you can see their situation as reflecting a life stage, and
you can express that it’s their time. You can express it as a matter of
needs – and how to meet their needs in a higher-level way. If it’s a
relationship issue, you want to talk about developing skills to create
closer relationships.
Express your enthusiasm for working with them. All clients want a
coach that likes them. Be clear in yourself, though, you are not yet
their coach. In order to get you as their advocate, they need to cross
a line and hire you.
Once you have gone through these steps, the next step belongs to
the client.
Let them know they are the kind of client you help. They need to
know you like them.
113
Tell them the coaching plan you suggest and what date you are
available to start. Be clear about your rate and package. This is the
time to be clear, firm and allow for a moment of hesitation or
discomfort. The client must step up at this moment and choose to
engage. It’s not your job to relieve them of this discomfort. If they
don’t remember this as their decision and commitment, your coaching
will be much less effective. Inexperienced coaches often rush in to fill
in the discomfort by connecting with the client. The client settles for
this temporary connection instead of enrolling in a longer plan of
action and change.
If the client says the price is too much for them, you can offer to
spread out payment over a number of weeks or month. Also, be clear
about the ideal way to proceed (meeting once a week, every other
week or once per month). If the client wishes to get “a deal” you can
offer them once a month instead of every week as a way to make the
coaching plan fit their budget.
114
pearL Formula
Begin- Likes – Details which lead to all discovery and elevate the
client and the session by focusing on positive leverage
Purpose
Use the Six Human Needs to discover the most important need to
increase daily and create a purpose statement. Talk about Life Zones
or do full life zones strategy to discover an important or new zone to
increase happiness.
Emotions
115
P’s Strategy)”
You can also teach your client some of the 21 Journey’s Exercises to
change state and create Emotional Maturity Strategy.
Actions
116
Before The First Session Welcome Kit
and Policy Forms
Please change as you need to in order to reflect
your policies and style as a coach
117
Client Data Form
Date:
Name:
Occupation:
Business Name:
Preferred Address:
E-Mail Address:
Billing Address:
Phone:
Date of birth:
Are their goals you have for coaching? If not, what areas
of life are you interested in creating goals within?
118
H ow do you like to start your day?
Name
I nitial term (months, sessions, etc.)
Fee per session
Per month
Per program
First session date
Duration of session
D uration of coaching
Referred by
Ground Rules:
(Decide what applies to your practice)
5. Emergency sessions
119
time. I recognize that coaching is not psychotherapy,
medical advice, or psychiatric care and that
professional referrals will be given if needed.
120
7. I understand that certain topics may be anonymously
shared with other life-coaching professionals for
training or consultation purposes.
Client signature
Date
Before the first session with your client you may want to
ask them to send you an email with the following
information:
You may want to ask for a general letter from the client.
Below is an example of how to write this request.
Email:
121
Please send me any highlights about you and your life that
you feel it is important for me to understand before we
begin coaching. You may write in any style and about any
part of your life. Let me know if what you are describing is
current, past or future information. If possible I would also
like a photograph of you.
First Sessions
122
Between Sessions Preparation Form
To get the most out of our coaching it is helpful to spend a few
minutes before each session preparing. Please email me the answers
to the following questions.
Coach - You may want to do this with client over phone or in person
instead of having this sent to you.
What I took action on since our last session (HW, Directive, Action
Step):
What I feel good about that I did between sessions (this might not
have been suggested during coaching but is significant):
123
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
124
Session where you were the coach:
Discoveries and observations client made about parts of their life and
life story:
Coach Knowing that was discovered but not shared with client if any:
125
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
What commitments/hw did you and client decide upon during your
session:
126
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
Metaphor Strategy
127
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
Explain what you learned about your client’s mode of being or several
common modes of being (linked to any roles, activities, interests):
Are there some emotions that are easier to have when in a specific
mode of being:
Share any modes of being which were enjoyed in the client’s past:
Explain how client might benefit from entering into a natural mode of
being in daily life now:
128
What commitments/hw did you and client decide upon which will help
the client to get more out of their life by increasing a desired mode of
being:
129
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
When working with bringing an emotion closer what did you or your
client experience:
Try using the Emotional Maturity Strategy Steps and then share
which actions came to the client at the end of the process:
130
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
Archetype Strategy
Write down the question your partner or you chose to ask the different
archetypes:
Write down a symbol, metaphor, or actual object that can remind you
to bring this archetype forward as an energy in your daily life
(examples: a smell, a toy, image of sunrise):
131
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
Go through each need with your client and learn how their key person
meets that need. These would be the vehicles the client’s key person
uses to meet his/her needs.
As you spend time with each need explore if your client has a way to
help their key person meet that need in a healthier way.
132
There may be some needs that the client has no way of helping the
other person meet. However, to appreciate what may be going on for
the other person can be a tool for creating a greater sense of
connection. If your client finds they don’t know how the other person
meets their needs then help your client create questions to ask their
key person to understand them better. Also, plan when it would be
best to have these deeper conversations.
Healthier vehicles for meeting needs may include actions the client
takes in the form of words, gifts, appreciations, questions, activities
together, or time spend remembering the past with the key person.
133
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
30 DAY ACTIONS:
134
5. Action: Who will you inform in first 30 days?
4. Outreach method
5. Track results
135
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
When working with this strategy with a client or fellow student answer
the following questions about your process.
136
2. What posture will help her align with her purpose:
Step 3: Presence: Help the client find himself in the current or future
moment instead of the past. What wisdom truth helps them to know
they can now react differently to a situation. Ex. My fear or anxiety is
rooted in believing the past repeats but when I look closer I know this
isn’t true. The future can be completely new for myself and for the
others. Every moment is new and I can right now choose this
newness.
Reminder: Make sure you ask client to also practice the Four P’s at
least two times a day for one week. This pretend will take the
unconscious fear or stress and turn it into an easy to handle and
empowering future pacing experience.
Warning: Do not use Four P’s for panic attacks or PTSD where it
would hurt client to recall the level of stress, anger, pain they enter
into.
137
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
What emotion did you choose to explore in yourself when being the
client:
Now that you know this emotion as a person with likes, tastes, needs,
and so on how will your relationship to the emotion be different:
What will you remember about the highest intent of the emotion for
you:
138
What will you remember about the emotions purpose in your life:
Are there words, images, thoughts that will relax that emotion for
you? How can you turn to these thoughts if the emotions begins to
take over? Choose a directive to explain here which might include
memory, an actual object or image, pretend exercise or a dialogue
you can engage in:
139
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
Six Needs
What vehicles do they currently use to meet their need? The question
you’d ask, “what needs to happen for you to feel (need)?”
Old vehicle:
New vehicle:
140
Brainstorm with client new ways to meet their needs which don’t
require others as much. This is a process of empowering client to
meet their needs in a healthy way. This might be through new
communications, actions, thoughts.
Explain any rules client has for meeting needs and new rules client
has created for meeting needs.
Old rule:
New rule:
141
SI Boot Camp Home Study
Name:
Date:
Explain how they understand that this decision was made with the
resources they had at the time:
Now that he/she has more resources what new decision are they
making:
142
How will their new Key Decision impact their life, those around them,
their future:
HW you have given them to do to remember and live with this new
decision:
143
144
145
v.092018
146