Kinship

QUESTION​: What are the different kinship roles - such as nephew, aunt or uncle,
in-law, grandson or granddaughter - that you play as a result of being a member of your
extended family?
ANSWER​: In my own extended family, I am a granddaughter, in-law and an aunt.

QUESTION​: ​What rights and obligations does each of these roles entail in your family?
ANSWER​: Unfortunately, I never knew my grandparents but in my conjugal
relationships, I am slowly learning and experiencing what it is like and might have been
like to grow up having a grandmother around. My in-laws are a very tight knit family and
we make it a point to visit my father in law’s mother every Sunday. As an in-law in my
culture and especially as a woman, it is jokingly said that you are basically to “take care
of” your spouse’s family. For example, although it might be common among all cultures,
when events for his closest family members occur, you are to help with anything
needed. That can range from cooking and serving food to decorating and setting up.
Whatever may be asked of you, you do and give what you can. Since my husband is
also the oldest of eight kids, it is important that I support him in not only being present
for family functions but also to assure that he is always prepared to serve and lead
when needed. It has definitely been an honor for me.
Most importantly I am an aunt to two beautiful nieces and five handsome
nephews. It is my most important role because being an aunt in this case is not like any
other. In the Tongan culture most people have what is called a mehikitanga ‘eiki, more
commonly known as a fahu. A fahu is a dignified rank and is always the paternal aunt or
father’s oldest sister. “She possess high status in the family and is accorded the highest
levels of respect at all formal and informal occasions from funerals to weddings and
births. She acts as the family matriarch and oversees her siblings, nieces and
nephews”(Jasons.com 2016, 2019). She is also the one to choose the name of her
brother’s first born child. As the only girl with four older brothers, this is the role that I
play in each of their children’s lives. Although in my family it is a lot more casual. Not
only have I had the chance to be able to help raise these kids but they have also
become like younger siblings to me. I strongly believe that “...to effectively raise children
may require the help of “‘other mothers’, aunties, grandmothers and child care
workers(as well as) . . . uncles, grandfathers and male friends”(Hansen 2005,
215)”(Strong & Cohen 2016 p. 18). So regardless of whether or not an aunt holds this
rank, it is always a privilege to take part in raising their siblings children. I know for me
that my nieces and nephews will always be taken care of as if they were my own.

QUESTION​: ​Do you have any fictive kin? How did they become "like family"?
ANSWER​: I have only ever considered one person to be fictive kin. That would be my
uncle Tom. Him and my father have been best friends since I could remember and even
worked together. I was raised around him and his family so they have always been
recognized as our own kin.
 REFERENCES

Strong, B, & Cohen, T. F. (2017). ​The marriage and family experience: Intimate
relationships in a changing society​ (13th ed.). Belmont, CA: Wadsworth.

Jasons.com (2016, 2019). Tonga-People & Culture.