Feedback and Next Steps

Before you begin, review the Teacher Actions from Burke’s The Common Core Companion.

A. Lowest Essay (Remember, this is representative of your lowest group of essays.)

 What feedback would you give this one representative student?

Students in this group were able to create a statement that answered the question, but
did not truly write a thesis statement or answer the overall question in their essay.

 What one aspect of this feedback is most relevant to your entire low group of FWT #1
essays?
 TO CONSIDER: Is the primary growth area for your students similar to the growth area your
colleague(s) selected? If so, can you collaborate or support one another as you create your
action step/reteaching minilesson?

Students in this group need to work on a. crafting a response to the question and b.
organizing their essay for maximum effectiveness.

 What one strategic action step will you take/reteaching minilesson you will administer
in order to address this one area for improvement? (**If done properly, this action
step/reteaching session should move each student in this lowest group up one level
on the rubric (from a 1 to a 2, 2 to a 3, etc.).

I will reteach how to craft a thesis and organize an essay.

I will give students their essays back and pull this group to me. Together we will read an
exemplar essay that has both a strong structure and thesis. I will ask students to identify
those characteristics that make this a good essay. If necessary, I will prompt students to
help them identify these areas.

Next, I will have students read their essays and locate their thesis statements. We will
work together to make their thesis stronger—which may include another analysis of the
prompt. Once students have a strong thesis. I will give them an outline document. They
will enter their thesis and then restructure their essay according to that thesis to
maximize their points.

For students who did not understand or didn’t have sufficient support, this will be an
opportunity for additional instruction for those students.

Students will then revise and resubmit their essays to be re-scored.

A. Middle Level Essay (Remember, this is representative of your middle group of essays.)

 What feedback would you give this one representative student?

This student did a good job of identifying structure, but does not effectively argue
how that structure increased the effectiveness of Wright’s text.
  What one aspect of this feedback is most relevant to your entire middle group of
FWT #1 essays?
 TO CONSIDER: Is the primary growth area for your students similar to
the growth area your colleague(s) selected? If so, can you collaborate or
support one another as you create your action step/reteaching
minilesson?

Students in this group need help on the analysis portion of the essay. Both
performing it and explaining it in their essays.

What one strategic action step will you take/reteaching minilesson you will administer in
order to address this one area for improvement? (**If done properly, this action
step/reteaching session should move each student in this lowest group up one level on
the rubric (from a 2 to a 3, 3 to a 4, etc.).

I will pull these students together and offer them two different kinds of support:

First, I will give them these questions to help them evaluate structure:

 Why does Wright begin the story, chapter or vignette this way? What does it
do to or for the reader?
 What impression does the overall structure of the story leave on the reader?
 Which of the author’s choices regarding structure contribute the most to the
story’s meaning or style (appeal)?
 Why does the author use these structures?
 How does the author’s choices about structure make the text more clear,
convincing or engaging?

Students will have to then re-read their essays and look for areas where they
answered one or more of these questions and highlight those pieces of text. I expect
most students to find that they have very little highlighting.

At that point, students will realize that these questions lead to the analysis of the
structure and they need to revise their essays to support that. I will then give them
the following sentence starters to support them as they revise their essays:

 This is significant because the author is establishing…

 The first person narrative, [quote], enables the reader to feel…
 The use of a child narrator has the effect of…
 As the vignette develops, Wright shifts the focus from _____________ to
___________________.
 Wright gradually/suddenly shifts the reader’s focus to…
 Wright gradually/suddenly introduces the reader to…
 Wright focuses on ______________ this may be to
[establish/emphasize/exaggerate/etc.]...
 There is a pattern of… which serves to…
 Wright repeats the idea of ___________________ in order to __________________.
 Wright returns to the idea of…

Students will revise and resubmit their essays to be re-scored.

C. Highest Level Essay (Remember, this is representative of your high group of essays.)

 What feedback would you give this one representative student?

 What one aspect of this feedback is most relevant to your entire high group of
FWT #1 essays?
  TO CONSIDER: Is the primary growth area for your students similar to the
growth area your colleague(s) selected? If so, can you collaborate or support
one another as you create your action step/reteaching minilesson?

The ideas and analysis in this essay are good, but there are some style and mechanics issues.

 What one strategic action step will you take/reteaching minilesson you will
administer in order to address this one area for improvement? (**If done
properly, this action step/reteaching session should move each student in
this highest group up one level on the rubric (from a 3 to a 4, etc.).

 What if all students in this group received a 4? Think about how you will
help these students exceed expectations. This may involve supporting
them in developing their academic voice, diction, etc. *Using mentor
texts is often a successful strategy.

This group needs help with style and mechanics. There is either clunky or no segue
into quotations and there are some formulaic responses that stand out in this essay
which otherwise has some excellent and original thought.

I would pull these students together and work with them by giving them exemplars
of essays which would score either a 3 or a 4. Once I have done that. I will have
students score the essays and determine the key differences between those essays
which are “3”s and those which are “4”s. Once students have a sense of what those
differences look like in practice, I would ask them to evaluate their own essays and
identify areas for improvement.

I would then give them some essays which include better inclusions of style or more
adept use of quotes. I would ask them to highlight those points where the author did
something that was particularly interesting or effective. Armed with their own
understanding of the scoring and examples of good responses, I would ask them to
revise and resubmit their essays for rescoring, focusing particularly on the issues of
style and quotation introductions.