DRUNK ENOUGH

TO SAY I LOVE YOU?

Dunk Enorqh to SE I Loae %z? is copyrighr @ 2006 by Caryl Churchill Drunk Enough to Sa2 I first performed at the
Loue Tou? was
Royal CourtJerwood Theatre Downstairs, London, on l0
Drunk Enough to Say I Iaae %a., is published by Theatre Communications
November 2006, with the following cast:
Group, Inc., 520 Eighth Avenue, 24th Floor, New York, NY 10018-4156,
by special arrangement with Nick Hern Books Umited.
SAM Ty Burrell
First published in Great Britain as a paperback original by Nick Hern Stephen Dillane
Books Limited, 14 Larden Road, London W3 7ST in association with
JACK
the Royal Court Theatre. Director .James Macdonald
Designer Eugene Lee
Caryl Churchill has asserted her right to be identified as the author of this
work. Co stume D esigner Joan Wadge
Lrghn .g Dexgnn Peter Mumficrd
CAUTION. AII rights reserved. Except for brief passages quoted in news: Sound Designur Ian Dickinson
paper, magazine, radio or television reviews, no part of this book may be
Comp o ser Matthew Herbert
reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical,
including photocopying or recording or by an information storage and
retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Applications for professional performance in any medium and in any The production received its American premiere at The
language throughout the world should be addressed to Casarotto Ramsy Ltd, Public Theater, New York, on 5 March 2008, with the
National House, 60-66 Wardour Street, London WIV 3HP. Applications for following cast:
amateur and stock performance in the USA should be made to Samuel
French, Inc., 45 West 25th Street, New York, NY 10010. No performance SAM Scott Cohen
may be given unless a license has been obtained prior to rehearsal. GI]Y Samuel West
Application should be made before rehearsals begin.

A CIP catalog record for this book is available from the Library of Congress
Note
TCG books a-re exclusively distributed to the book trade by Consortium Sam was always called Sam, because of lJncle Sam'
Book Sales and Distribution.
I gave the other character the nameJack, thinking of it as
Cover design by Usa Govan just a name, but some people understandably thought it
referred to Union Jack, and that Jack was Britain in the
same way that Sam was Arnerica. But I always meant that
First TCG Edition, March 2008

character to be an individual, a man who falls in love with

America, so I have changed his name to Guy'
C.C.
Characters t.
SAM acoun@
GUY drunk enough to say I love you?
GIJY, a mnn
SAM never say

GIfy not that I don't still love my wife and

children but

SAM who doesn't want to be loved? but

GUY first time I saw you

SAM the bar and the guy with

GUY never see you again and I was fine with

that, I thought one night and I'll love him
till I die but that's ok, I can live
SAM you know something?

GUY and then I'm here and suddenly here you

are and here we are again and

SAM because I'm leaving tomorrow so

I GUY sorryof course butjust as well because

SAM and you could come with me if you

GUY I
SAM if you want

GIIY of course I
GIJY so no I can't possibly
SAM of course not
GUY no Z.

SAM glad you carne over and said hi because GtY music, I can't get enough of
when you reminded me it all came back
though to be honest I'd forgotten till you SAM country or
-:

, seru Dylan, Bing crosby' Eminem

sAM so you'll
GIJY what I'm going to tell them. How long GUY because what rock does

sAM as rong as it sAM evenJingle Bells can suddenly

' the snow and all the
GUy family obviousry but work,I'm in the "'u
middle , SAM mountains like you've never

SAM sure you'll figure it out, I don't need to GUy size of it all, there's so many di{ferent

GUY you?
go where did you say SAM sea to shining
SAM anywhere you wouldn't? : GIII freedom to

GI.IY do when we get there? SAM Ellis Island

SAM things you won't do? i GUY or even just go to the movies and eat
. i pOpCOrn

, SAM Pursuit of haPPiness

GUY right now

GUY because it's so

SAM elections
SAM because democracy SAM and syndicate the articles all over the
world
GUY help the right side to

SAM because our security

GUY so nobodY

GUy all over the world sAM and posters

sAM vietnam we have the slogan'christ has GrJY great artwork

gone south' so the people think , SeU wirh the hammer and sickle stamped on
:I eir foreheads
GUy christians because of the French
SAM literally believe literallyJesus christ has GUY little kids

i sAM hammer and sickle

GUy so clever
GUY love a coPY of that to Put
SAM and simultaneously astrology
.
SAM So help me out here' in Nicaragua we
GUY superstitious "' "'^
,r..d to be telling different things to
SAM horoscopes daily horoscopes will say different groups, Say

GUY and they vote the way you want, that is so - GUY {ighting to keep the Russians off their land
ecause peasants
SAM because you have to appeal to their
deepest SAM while the workers

GUY I love this GUY that they'll lose their factories

SAM and Chile, this is good, we put it on the SAM doctors

radio 'your children taken from you', if
they uo,. .o*-rnist they lose their
' GIJY replaced by Cubans

children, the Russians will take SAM way to go.

GUY appealing to the women's vote GUy so happy, you, the work, the whole

SAM so the pamphlets must say'privately SAM polls in the phillipines?

printed by citizens with no political
afliliations'because GIJY so I'Il make the numbers up
 L,U I Dyeoye _Lurrrurrrua
GUY thrilling.
SAM byebye Allende
SAM don't always work out the way we
GUY bit negative
GUY voting for the wrong
SAM people we love and help
SAM Chavez
GIIY Israel
GUY how did
SAM shah of Iran, byebye Mossadegh
SAM Hamas
GUY oil
GUY Israelis arresting the Members of SAM Saddam Hussein
Parliament so

SAM so now we need to prevent some elections

GUY great

GUY SAM shake his hand

saves having to overthrow
SAM South Korea, Guatemala, Brazil, Congo, GI-IY holding down the ayatollahs
Indonesia, Greece warlords in Afghanistan, Hekmatya
SAM
GUY l'm on it GUY drives over people?
SAM overthrow only as last resort when things SAM acid
don't
GTIY ok
GLY ok

SAM SAM don't like that government in Afghanistan

fran Guatemala fraq Congo
because the Russians like it so we're
GII' troops tricking them into invading

SAM coffee GITY oops

GUY two sugars SAM puts them in the wrong plus it's their
Vietnam so now get on with training the
SAM invading Grenada to get rid of the
mujahadeen which is freedom fighters to
government because
GLiY whooo
 SAM Chemical School

GUY so we're helping all these GUY enormous.

SAM kind of want to help Pol Pot because SAM results in and we won in
GUY killing fields guy? GUY yay

SAM against Vietnam but no we can't be seen SAM and we've got our man in Afghanistan
to directly support someone who
GUY CIA guy?
GUY so why don't we help China help him
SAM Georgia check
SAM knew I was right to bring you
GUY Uzbekistan? because theY boil
GUY because no one can blame us for what the
SAM not so good in Bolivia
Chinese
GI.ry guy in the sweater?
SAM and all costs mone/
SAM and Saddam's let us down, he's no longer
GI-IY so much aid
a good guy so
SAM and two hundred and fifty million dollars
GUY because sometimes propaganda isn't
to the Phillipines alone to train fifty
enough to
thousand soldiers

GUY plus military advisers SAM military solution

SAM GUY so much fun in mY life

remember to use Green Berets of Puerto
Rican and Mexican descent so it won't SAM being powerful and being on the side of
look like a US army because good is
GUY ha GUY God must have so much fun
SAM would you believe six billion dollars in El SAM win win win
Salvador? training thousands of
Grry love you more than I can
GIJY and the schools, I'm trying to organise

SAM School of the Americas

GUY coup school

 SAM death squads

GUY right behind

SAM in Guatemala) so we don't directly

3.: ourselves appear to

SAM sitting around , GUY corpses in the nets

GUy with bullets and partiallv eaten bv

cuy thinking ; ;,1*rO
SAM no Lime for I SAM slaughter the Indians to prevent
Gtry just
all right I,m , Gtry bulldoze the village
SAM missing your SAM yes
GIIY not at all
I
GUy and
SAM natural SAM not officially active in El Salvador
.
GUY get on with GUY
, sevenry-five thousand civilian
sAM because there's an these people we have to sAM
, raping the
GUY ok so here's the bridge right here and the
GUY because if the young aren,t killed they just
people there are people going across not
. grow up to be
soldiers just

sAM , SAM similarly Colombia where

North Korea
GUY GUy Nicaragua
blow it up
SAM , sAM our fieedom fighters the contras are
there you go

\r\Jrv
rlr r r _ ,, GIIY Indonesia the embassy's giving lists to
oon.t want you to worry because I don,t their army which are a big help in who
regret they should
 r4), rrrS

GLry there you are SAM Iraq

SAM and of course Israel where we d.on,t GUY hundred and seventy-seven million pounds
actually ourselves of

GUY extremely valuable experiment in the SAM forty days

Philippines where
GIJY ten rhousand sorties
SAM calling it destroy
search and
SAM very few casualties
GUY experiments in pacification i GUy oh ours, good
sAM :-
terror against the Huks sAM bombing them now as they retreat
i
GtrY and applying that now in Metnam GUy ploughing wow ploughing live soldiers into
SAM Vietnam Vietnam now the sand

GUY go go go three million dead in Vietnam SAM done

' Laos Cambodia
:

: GUY and the children dead from sanctions we

SAM two million tons of bombs on Laos now don't count that because

GUY more than on Germany andJapan in the SAM again Iraq Iraq again
whole GUY very few casualties
,
sAM white phosphorous
sAM not publishing pictures
GUY statistics here on civilian injuries,lower i a,- and certainly not of the civilians in
extremities 6004, soft tissue 39ol0, fractures
Afghanistan 1here,s a paper in Florida

: €mails and won't do that again

GUY Iraq
sAM bomtring vietnam now, bombing
SAM not that interested in numbers of civilian Grenada, bombing Korea, bombing Laos,
bombing Guatemala, bombing Cuba,
GUY no
bombing El Salvador, bombing Iraq,
SAM need to get on bombing Somalia, bombing Lebanon
SAM so?bombing Bosnia, bombing Cambodia,
bombing Libya, bombing

GUY used to be a village and now

4.
SAM because we want it gone controlling
GUY
GUY need a colfee
not
SAM
SAM get a coffee I feel
GI'Y
GUY exhausting missing your f;amilY
SAM
SAM thrilling I'm naturallY going to
GUY only human,
GUY exhausting being so thrilled I am
SAM just so I know where
SAM coffee but keep off everybody and
GUY expect me to just cut
GIJY bombing China, bombing Panama not even sPeak

SAM good at this SAM what you want

GIJY well GUY better if I do some

SAM did a whole lot before like second world SAM drawing uP trade agreements
war and going right back
GIJY free trade
GI.IY all the back killings before like Indians
SAM in a manner of
SAM never sure how many we started
GI'Y free
GI-IY maybe twenty million, Iifty
SAM Stmctural Adjustment Programs
SAM got them down to a quarter million so
GIJY sothat countries open uP their markets to
Gtry not looking at that our
SAM no just get on with the job which is
SAM good ok like Haiti
bombing
GUY surge in our rice exPorts to Haiti
GIJY bombing Peru, bombing
GUY stopping the banana cartel GUY ok so it's access for our goods

SAM ok r SA1\4 come on we've done debt cancellation

here
GUY and those beautiful African rextiles made ,
from our raw materials they agree to . GUY yes I
import rather than :

i SAM and massive aid

SAM or sometimes it's the other way, *
rvq" it's their i
cuv linked to
raw materials like cocoa ;
t* what is the matter with you?
GUy and we make the chocolates you get on i
Valentine's i GUY pointing out that it's B0o/o our own
I comPanies that benefit from
SAM because if they were allowed to make i
them
: SAM generositY

GUY Haiti
and the rice industry collapses in ;j GIIY point one percent of our

SAM because our economy is the priority here , SAM billions of dollarr; for christsake

GUY costing poor countries two billion dollars u i GUY just trying to see

SAM really snitty mood today

,

. SAM yes and

i-
GUY just trying to understand exactly ** Israel seems to get the largest share ol
i
SAM essential because we consume more than i t* you want to go home?
half the goods in the world so you can't i

: GUY didn't saY

GUY ok ok and privatisation a condition I
sAM because if vou don't
you d want to be
.
sAM --- private
because r-- -'-- means
------'- -
free
--
*"
GUy ok SAffA
lo'
keep saying you love me and then we have
SAM problem with that? all this

GUY just low today, I can't quite GUY sorry

 44 ur cusaule mougn ne nunsefi
LUIIS lS
GUY woke up feeling head of the antidrug

SAM maybe you should go back to bed and try GIIY but also we are against
again
SAM totally
GUY no I'll be
GUY like in Peru
SAM you better be
SAM supporting the dictator because he's
GUY ok. fighting drugs
SAM something to make you feel better GIJY though I see here the CIA payroll
GUY don't really SAM because the main priority is suppressing
SAM good? the guerrillas

GUY ah GUY Iike in Colombia

SAM french connection SAM because EARC are definitely

narcotraffickers
GUY mm?
GUY Iuckily
SAM golden triangle
SAM have to overlook the security services drug
GIJY sure

SAM GUY and the equipment can also be used

Iighting Communists for us so we turn a
against trade unionists which saves
blind eye
GUY SAM but in Afghanistan where of course the
of course
mujahadeen
SAM heroin being flown in by Air America
Gtry beautifut fields of poppies
GI.IY excellent
SAM same trucls can deliver the arms and take
SAM flyrrg down with the weapons and back the heroin back
with the drugs
GUY so sometimes crack down and
GUY shrimp company laundering the money so
the CIA SAM massive trade figures
 rmonlt.
SAM feeling better have a look at intellectual
property rights
;; because expenses are so huge like eight
billion dollars we sp'end on cosmetics
GUY fascinating
GUY hard to grasp such
SAM forefront of science
SAM ten on petfood
GTIY traditional knowledge of primitive tribes
GUY for comparison
which turns out to
SAM six on
SAM neem '

GUY enough to provide health, food and

GUY is what, neem?
education for the whole of the third
SAM in India
SAM fuck is wrong with you?
GUY so we patent it do we and GUY trlnng to grasp the numbers that's all, I
SAM ayehuasca, you ever heard ?
SAM do things on a large scale
GIJY quinoa, kava, bitter gourd
GUY yes
SAM so we're manufacturing products
out of SAM way o[ life
GTIY and selling them back to
G-UY yes
SAM yes
SAM you chose
GIJY and most amazingly DNA
GUY yes
SAM Amazonian Indian blood cells
SAM can fuck off now if
GTIY the scale of it GUY no
SAM per cent of human DNA has been
SAM yes fuck off now because
acquired by
GUY GI-IY no please no
my god how

SAM SAM commitment

so you're on that?
 GUY though the IIN
SAM everyone else agrees a resolution not to
use space so

5. GUY Sving us total

SAM space SAM because with the proliferation of \MMD

GUY god GIIY so many countries want

SAM all mine SAM so we combat the threat by

GUY so GUY I do worry about

SAM deny others the use of space SAM because we have two and a half times the
next nine countries put together
GUY it's just
GUY thank god
SAM we have it, we like it and we,re going to
keep it SAM nuclearweapons stored in seven European

GTIY fantastic GUY h.y

SAM fight we're going to fightfom
zz space, SAM chemical
space, we're going to fight into
GUY whoo
GUY wow
SAM go go go now dioxin
SAM you like it?
GUY dioxin, god, three ounces in the water
GUY so big supply of New York would be enough to
wipe out the whole
SAM star wars
SAM five hundred pounds dioxin now on
GI.IY and protect Vietnam
SAM protecting us with a shield GUY yay
GUY and nobody else can SAM napalm
SAM precision strikes Grry yay
 uus sturr agarnst Nuros or tramans orr

SAM keep selling it because

GI-IY yay
GI'Y so great about chemical and biological
SAM and biological too the most advanced
they don't destroy the buildings just kill the
GLry scientific
SAM ideal
SAM turkey feathers
GUY and oh my god the conventional
GIIY feathers?
SAM cluster bombs
SAM allegations by China that we
GUY love the yellow
GUY oh with germs on
SAM jagged steel shraPnel
SAM decaying fish, anthrax
GUY soft targets
GUY isn't it turkey in Cuba?
SAM don't always explode like one and a half
SAM turkey virus in Cuba million unexPloded in the gulf
GUY ok GUY very high rate of
SAM contaminate the sugar SAM no, out of thirtY

GIJY quite funny GUY ok

SAM but the serious science SAM but sometimes a quarter

Gtry the Chemical School in Alabama GUY orange groves, car Parks

SAM teach our allies and share SAM so don't let Israel

GUY Egypt's using gas against the Yemen, and GIJY ok

Saddam's gassing the
SAM oh what the hell
SAM exporting anthrax to Iraq, botulism,
histoplasma capsulatum GUY ok

SAM so you get these accidental

GUY e coli?

GIIY kids like the YeIIow

SAM e coli, DNA
GUY can't be helped

SAM and the depleted uranium so you get the

lung and bone cancer and
6.
GUY don't feel bad
SAM faster
SAM babies, deformed
GUY I'M
GIIY ugh
SAM threat to our securitY
SAM probably for other reasons
GUY ok
GI-TY exactly
SAM if anyone harbours
SAM So, keeping ourselves safe
GUY I'm on it
GUY priority
SAM retaliate against the facilities of the host
SAM bring freedom country

GUY love it when you say GUY yes

SAM most destructive power ever in the history SAM now

of the
GUY calm
GUY yes yes
SAM got to plant bombs in the hotels in
SAM and now space Flavana

GUY stars GUY yes ok ok the Cuban exiles in Miami are

just
SAM eternity filled with our
SAM and get the moneY to Iraq
GUY Iove you so
GUY done it, the Iraqi National Accord have
SAM more and more
the

SAM and have they destabilised Saddam yet? no

SAM
GUY
Srirg them millions

hundred civilians dead

;
SAM
;-"-r;J;.,#ffi.
Michael Manley
SAM not enough to
GLIY Ngo Din Diem
GUY ok
SAM but not all the bartards are dead so
SAM fucking results GIJY disappeared, thousands and
GUY off my back will you? SAM all over the
SAM desperate for GI-IY impact
GI-IY mujahadeen SAM and what what fucking terror used against
SAM yes yes train the US

GUY so ok that,s something really good GIIY not my fault they

SAM stop at nothing fl"yrng explosions, whole SAM fucking Afghanis turned against us after all
villages we

GUY and here we,re gettin! on with GIJY training camps and now
assassinations
SAM stop them
SAM don,t allow
GUY I'M
GIIY changing our
SAM and Israel, innocent
SAM do allow
GIIY body parts
cUY ok
SAM vile
SAM so get on with GUY but the Israelis killing far more so
Gtry CIAs Hea]th Alteration Committee SAM on top of this?
SAM grear
GUY explosion at the embassy
GUY planning SAM fuck fuck do sornething
SAM on my side?

GUY of course but

SAM want to go home to your l.

GUY maybe I do if you'1e going to keep SANI alnne.

SAM fuck off then back SAM white double cable whip, iron wreath,
beating the soles of the feet, put object in
GUY look out we're being vagina, put object in anus, put turpentine
SAM no no no the towers on testicles, pour water over face, play
very loud Indonesian music, electric'
GUY wow shocks to genitals, tap a dowl through the
ear into the brain, throw the prisoner out
SAM evil
of the helicopter, sn'ow the prisoner
GUY ok? another prisoner being thrown out of the
helicopteq beating obviously, rape of
SAM hate me because I'm so good
cciurse, bright light, no sleep, simulate an
GUY all these terrorists suddenly execution so they think up to the last
second they're going to die, play tape of
SAM makes everyone love me because it's only
women and children screaming in next
the evildoers who hate me, you don't hate
room and tell prisoner it's his wife and
me
children, sometimes it is, hang up with
GUY no of course hands tied behind back, Pins in eYes,
insecticide in hood over the head, cut off
SAM you hate me breasts, pull out heart, slit throat and pull

Gtry just sometimes wish you'd tongue through, sulphuric acid, chop off

SAM what? what? you hate me Enter GUY.

GIJY but maybe I can't live with you any more GUY hello, I've

SAM what you

GUY but I missed you

 SAM ok then

cuY .]^.],,]usrurc GUY doing?

SAM what you put me through SAM need to teach

GI-ry I'm sorryr I GUY yes

SAM hurt me SAM sPecial advisers

GUY yes I GIJY ok

SAM take you back I need to know if SAM Greece

GUY GUY the colonels' Greece, we're right behind

try to

SAM total commitment or there's no SAM OPeration Phoenix

GIIY I realise
Gtry Vietnam, oPerational

SAM capable
SAM nobodY questioned survives

GUY can
GIIY .
fortY-one thousand

SAM teaching them in Brazil exactly how much

SAM promise
electric shock you can administer without
GUY love killing

SA\d nightmare here GUY because sometimes you may not want

GUY yes SAM sometimes it's not Politic

SAM not going to be. happy, hope you don,t GIIY and sometimes it just d'oesn't matter

GUY no I don't expect SAM El Salvador, UraguaY, Nicaragua,

Guatemala,
SAM so what you
GUY delivering the manuals to Panama
GI-IY can't live
SAM and the thin wire can go in the diplomatic
SAM no you can't, can't bag to UraguaY

GLIY no I can't GIJY thin wire?

 \JUI Decause tnose nrles
o------- --i- o.*.^^ a^^u rL utLrc4DCS ttrc snocK

GI'Y need to be accurate SAM in the present climate

SAM precise pain GUY hoods over their heads or sexual

GUY for precise e{Iect SAM because their religion makes them upset
by
SAM so practice on beggars in a soundproof
room GUY menstrual blood

GUY the US O{fice of Public Safery SAM have to laugh

SAM fighting terror GUY but some things we'd rather other people

GUY put Mitrione in charge of SAM 747 rendering Prisoners to

SAM humanitarian GUY because there's plenty of'places where that

can
GUY expert in administration of pain
SAM can't do everything ourselves
SAM always leave them some hope, he says
GUY do our best
GUY people who don't need our
encouragement because they already SAM you're doing great again

SAM Afghanistan GIIY back with you

GUY yes the game where the men are on horses SAM no fun though
and the prisoner
GUY sick today but
SAM instead of a goat
SAM just stick with it and we'Il be
GTIY one layer of skin at a time, which must
take

SAM so relatively speaking Guantanamo

GUY need results

SAM need exemption from rules forbidding

cruel, inhuman or degradi.g
 SAM delete

GUY 'growing risk of adverse'

SAM delete
B.
GUY 'qncertainties'
GIIY icecaps SAM insert'significant and fundamental
SAM who fucking cares about GUY but
GUY floods SAM 'urgent action,' delete

SAM because we,ll all be dead by the time it GUY oil lobby?

GUY another hurricane moving towards SAM Committee for a Constructive Tomorrow

SAM natural GUY ok

GUY no but it's greater than SAM Advancement of Sound Science Coalition
SAM natural disasters GUY a grassroots

GUY not coping very SAM set up by Exxon and Philip Morris to

SAM surprise GUY ok

GIJY predicted and there is an element SAM and carbon dioxide in the atmosphere has
of
manmade many beneficial effects on

SAM stop fucking going on about

Gtry hot in here?

GIIY carbon
SAM always finding something wrong with

SAM junk science.

GUY and you never?

GIJY report here from the

SAM let's just

GUY ok
SAM rewrites
SAM what? what? you smoking? you gave up,
GUY 'serious threat to health, you
 D/\]VI il you're so smart
SAM kill yourself
GUY dillerent
GUY fucking planet
SAM freedom to
SAM kill me, kill me, secondhand
GIJY if
GTIY junk science
SAM lose everything wete
SAM pur it out
GUY hard to
GUY no SAM things f need
SAM put it out GUY look out
GUY what diflerence SAM what?
SAM thank you GUY don't know, I thought
GUY carbon SAM deep breaths and
SAM can't see it in the air,
lo GUY don't want to stop flyrng
GUY Kyoto? SAM trade in carbon so we can still
SAM price of electricity in California GUY we'll last longer than
GUY but SAM don't let them in
SAM nuclear GITY no water
GIJY waste SAM be ok
SAM solution GUY catastrophe
GI.IY Iran? SAM so fucking negative
SAM 'Gchnology Institute GUY frightened
will come up with
new
SAM Ieave me if you don't
GUY by when will they
GTIY done that
GIJY hopeless

SAM and try to smile ..

GIIY dead

SAM because you have to love me

GUY can't

SAM love me love me, you have to love me, you