What Is Perfectionism?

Canadian researchers Gordon L. Flett and Paul L. Hewitt wrote the

book
on perfectionism, so to speak. (Their textbook on the topic is called
Perfectionism:
Theory, Research, and Treatment.) They consider “normal”
perfectionism
as having a goal of flawlessness: “Normal perfectionism is
defined as striving for reasonable and realistic standards that leads to
a
sense of self-satisfaction and enhanced self-esteem.”
When perfectionism goes too far it is considered extreme, or
“neurotic,”
according to Flett and Hewitt. “Neurotic perfectionism is a tendency
to strive for excessively high standards and is motivated by fears of
failure and concern about disappointing others.” In other words,
wanting
to be perfect is normal; expecting to be perfect in all aspects of your
life is extreme. A person who strives for perfection will work hard for
an
A-plus; a neurotic perfectionist will consider anything less than an A-
plus
a failure—in fact, she may even think of an A-plus as something of a
failure
if she had to work very hard to earn it. Flett and Hewitt have found
that some of the following tendencies crop up among perfectionists:

Expecting people and situations to have no flaws or faults.

There
are three types of perfectionists: People who expect perfection of
themselves, people who demand perfection from others, and people
who think others expect perfection from them.
• Getting “stuck” on tasks. Doubt and concern over mistakes can
trigger procrastination.
• Having perfection-oriented automatic thoughts. Even when
they
don’t realize it, perfectionists tell themselves that they have to be
perfect.
• Having a hyperawareness of imperfection. Perfectionists notice
and dwell on every flaw.
• Feeling shame and guilt. When a perfectionist makes a mistake,
she
feels ashamed of what others think and guilty because of her own
unacceptable performance.

• Making mountains out of molehills. For a perfectionist, a minor

setback carries more importance than it deserves.
• Setting rigid standards. A perfectionist sets unreasonably high
expectations; success is black and white—either you’re a complete
success or a complete failure.
• Expecting the impossible. Perfectionists feel they should excel in
every area—even those in which they have no training or experience
or that are not important.
• Making all-or-nothing judgments. If a perfectionist can’t do
something well, she may write it off as being worthless.
• Overstating what’s at stake. Perfectionists convince themselves
that
the world hangs on every decision and action.
• Overreacting. Perfectionists tend to cope with problems in an
overemotional, reactive way rather than facing them head-on with
problem-focused, task-oriented strategies.