Brian Tracy’s

Like a

Handbook
Power Words & Phrases for Getting Your Message Across
 Introduction

D
id you know that your ability to communicate effectively determines 85% of
your success in life? It’s true! And it’s the main reason why great leaders are
also great communicators.

It’s important to understand that just because you can talk, doesn’t mean you can
communicate well. Unlike talking, effective communication means actively listening,
motivating your listener, and most importantly, empowering them to take action.

Almost all of our problems in life and in business are a direct result of ineffective
communication. This often leads to wasted time, wasted money, and frustration.
Luckily, effective communication can be learned.

And like any other skill, the more you practice, the better you’ll become!

This handbook will show you some proven, power words and phrases all great leaders
use to help them get their message across clearly and effectively, and how they can help
you speak like a true leader too.

Power Words & Phrases

Words are so powerful, they can literally affect your body’s biochemistry: what you say
can positively or negatively affect both yourself and those you talk to.

That’s why it’s important to be aware of your “transformational” vocabulary:

understanding which words and phrases push you forward and which ones keep
you stuck.

Examples of phrases to avoid are: “I’m depressed,” “I’m frustrated,” or any phrase
beginning with “I can’t.” Essentially, the words you attach to your experience will
inevitably become your experience.

While it’s normal to feel these feelings, it’s important to not let them transpire in your
communication with others. True leaders know how to confront difficult situations and
communicate them in ways that motivate and inspire others to overcome them.

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 Here are 6 Power Words and Phrases successful
leaders repeat every day, and why you should
do the same:

1 “I will recognize, praise, and empower someone today.”

You may not realize it, but you are surrounded by people who work hard with little or no
recognition. Be the person who recognizes at least one of them for their work every day.
This phrase follows the psychological rule of reciprocity: “If you make me feel good about
myself, I’ll make you feel good about yourself.”

The most successful people I’ve ever met are those who go out of their way to make
others feel good about themselves. Not only will you give respect, you’ll earn the best
kind of respect—the respect that comes from making a difference, however fleeting,
in another person’s life.

Exercise: 3 Ways to Use this Phrase to Speak Like a Leader

1. Take a minute each day to praise somebody. If you’re in a management position,

recognize someone who normally doesn’t get enough recognition for their work.
This will boost their confidence and self-esteem, and will push them to work
more productively.

2. Praise your children, friends, or significant other for something good they’ve
done. You’ll quickly notice how good they’ll feel, and how much more positive
your interactions will become.

3. Do more than just say “thanks” to someone who does an otherwise thankless
job. Acknowledge the bus boy at a restaurant, ask your mail carrier about their
day, or make a meal for your gardener or handyman. I guarantee that the next
time you see them, you’ll notice an upgrade in service.

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 2 “I can do better.”
Successful leaders don’t expect to be perfect, but they understand they can always do
better. Think back on your day, week, or month. Think about things that went well and
the things that didn’t. Here’s the important part: take ownership of your mistakes.

Successful leaders acknowledge their mistakes, don’t blame others, and take
responsibility for their actions. Motivate yourself to greatness by setting high standards,
exhibiting honesty, and being the person others want to be like.

Exercise: 3 Ways to Use this Phrase and Speak Like a Leader

1. As they say, actions speak louder than words. Great leaders lead by example,
not by simply barking out orders. So, take action first and do what you’d expect
others to do. Commit yourself to excellence by looking for ways to help others
achieve their goals.

2. Face your fears and push yourself out of your comfort zone. When faced
with a challenge, face it head-on with a smile and always stay positive in the
face of adversity.

3. Inspire others to do their best. Create a big vision for yourself, motivate others
to help you fulfill that vision, and be the first one to take action.

3 Saying nothing at all

True leaders are confident people, and many times don’t feel the need to talk. So, never
speak to please yourself—when you do, you please no one. Instead, practice the art of
Active Listening.

It’s so easy to interrupt someone in mid-conversation. Not only is this annoying, but you
make the other person feel less important and show that you’re not fully interested in
what they’re saying. Commit to paying attention, and follow the Golden Rule for Active
Listening: as in life, treat others the way you’d like to be treated.

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 Exercise: 3 Ways to Use this Phrase and Speak Like a Leader

1. Make it a habit to not check your phone or text while speaking with someone.
When your colleague is talking, give them your full attention and don’t let your
mind wander off. Acknowledge them and keep technology out of the equation.

2. Physically show that you’re listening through body language. Show that you’re
engaged by occasionally nodding “yes,” and try to mirror the body language of
the person you’re speaking to.

3. After someone is done speaking, provide feedback to show you understand

what’s being said. Ask questions and summarize the speaker’s point to ensure
you’re both on the same page.

4 “You did a great job with X. Here are some suggestions

for next time.”
Most people get uncomfortable with the subject of criticism. That’s because destructive
criticism can lower a person’s self-esteem. Constructive criticism, however, enables
others to improve their performance and work on becoming better.

Acknowledge a person’s strengths before providing feedback for improvement and then
reiterate their strengths again. This will elevate their self-esteem and will increase their
chances at productivity. Remember to be honest, and to occasionally shift the focus from
that person unto yourself.

Exercise: 3 Ways to Use this Phrase and Speak Like a Leader

1. Next time you give constructive criticism, practice the “feedback sandwich”:
Positive-Improvement-Positive. Talk about their strengths, discuss
improvements, then discuss their strengths again.

2. If you find yourself receiving destructive criticism, refrain from passing

judgement. Take deep breaths, ignore personal criticism, and remain engaged.
Don’t shut down and don’t take it personally.

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 3. Use passive over active voice when giving constructive criticism: instead of
saying, “your report was unclear,” say: “the report you provided was unclear.”
This act shifts direct focus and blame away from the subject, but still conveys
the message.

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“I have a number of solutions…”
Instead of focusing on the problem, look for ways to find several solutions. Don’t make
excuses, blame others, or simply give up.

Great leaders are visionaries, and always see things beyond what others
see.

1. Look for areas of opportunity that haven’t been explored yet in your area of
expertise. Sometimes the need for something is right in front of you without you
even noticing it.

2. Always recommend new ways of approaching a project at your job. Don’t simply
accept the task at hand and go with it. A true mark of leadership is the ability to
take ownership.

3. When presented with a difficult situation, don’t say, “How can I do it?” or “I can’t.”
Figure it out and make it happen.

6 “I hear you.”
Empathic, reflective communication creates enduring connections, both up and down
the corporate hierarchy.

Make others feel good about themselves and satisfy their deepest needs—value their
importance to lift their confidence and boost their self esteem.

Exercise: 3 Ways to Use this Phrase and Speak Like a Leader

1. When you find yourself in conversation and it’s your turn to speak, before diving
right in with your own points, make an effort to acknowledge the person or
persons you’re speaking with. For example: “I understand what you’re saying.
Here’s what I think about that.”

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 2. Practice the special art of listening in every conversation. It makes people feel
special and appreciated.

3. Outside of work, look for ways to express praise and approval to those around
you at every opportunity.

Words to Avoid
There are some things better left unsaid, at work and in life. Regardless of how talented
or accomplished you are, certain words and phrases can instantly change the way people
see and think about you, even if they’re true.

Learn why the following 6 words and phrases should be avoided at all
costs, and what to say instead:

1. “This is the way it’s always been done.”

Saying this phrase not only makes you sound lazy and resistant to change, but
can make your boss and others wonder why you haven’t taken initiative to
improve things on your own.

Say this instead: “I’m sure we can find a better way to do it. Let’s work on it.”

2. “It’s not my fault.”

It’s never a good idea to blame others. Be accountable. If you had any role — no
matter how small — and you did something wrong, own it. Stick to the facts, and
let your boss and colleagues draw their own conclusions about who’s to blame.

Say this instead: “I’ll take responsibility and work on making sure this doesn’t
happen again.”

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 3. “It’s not fair.”

Saying it’s not fair suggests that you think life is supposed to be fair, which makes
you look immature and naïve. If you don’t want to make yourself look bad,
you need to stick to the facts, stay constructive, and leave your interpretation
out of it.

Say this instead: “I noticed that you assigned Ann that big project I was hoping
for. I’d like to know why you thought I wasn’t a good fit, so that I can work on
improving those skills.”

4. “This may be a silly idea / I’m going to ask a stupid question.”

As the saying goes: there are no stupid questions. These phrases can instantly
erode your credibility—they suggest that you lack confidence, which makes the
people you’re speaking to lose confidence in you. If you’re not confident in what
you’re saying, no one else will be either.

Say this instead: “I don’t have that information right now, but I’ll find out and
get right back to you.”

5. “I hate this job.”

The last thing anyone wants to hear at work is someone complaining about how
much they hate their job. Doing so labels you as a negative person and brings
down the morale of the group.

Say this instead: “I’m sure I can find ways to make my job more fun and
fulfilling”

6. “That person is lazy / incompetent / a jerk.”

There is no upside to making a disparaging remark about a colleague. If your

remark is accurate, everybody already knows it, so there’s no need to point it
out. If it’s not, then you’re the one who ends up looking like a jerk.

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 Announcing your colleague’s incompetence comes across as an insecure attempt
to make you look better. This will inevitably come back to haunt you in the form
of your coworkers’ negative opinions of you.

Say this instead: “I want to know more about that person and work to make
our relationship better.”

These phrases have a tendency to sneak up on you, so make sure to catch yourself until
you’ve solidified the habit of not saying them.

BONUS: 6 Tips to Make You Look

and Sound More Confident
You can have the best ideas in the world, but unless you also have confidence and
conviction when you express them, you might as well be speaking to a wall.

These 6 expert tips will prepare you for success in any professional or
public-speaking situation:

1. Slow down

This advice seems obvious until you realize how unnatural if feels to speak
slowly. We tend to rush our speech when we’re nervous, and frustratingly,
that’s usually the time we’re trying to get something important across.

Slowing down can also help cut out filler words (“um” and “like”) that undermine
authority with the sound of uncertainty.

2. Stand up straight

Good posture signals a sense of poise and certainty. That same good posture
can do wonders for making you sound more confident. Standing (or sitting) up
straight gives your lungs the chance to fully fill with air, which helps you avoid
the dreaded vocal fry, where your voice cracks on the way out.

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 3. Rehearse, but don’t sound like it

True confidence comes from that sweet spot of knowing what you want to
talk about but not rehearsing to the point where you sound like you’re reading
a script.

If you’re going into a high-tension situation (like asking for a raise or asking
someone on a date), run through the scenario in your head a couple of times.
Playing through the scenario beforehand often helps you stay more relaxed and
in the moment when you’re having the real conversation—even when you don’t
know how the other person is going to answer.

4. Say it like you mean it

One of the best things you can do to strengthen a message is just be yourself.
Many of us fall into the trap of overthinking what we’re going to say, and then
not listening to what the other person is saying.

Take a few calming breaths to bring yourself back into the moment, and don’t
feel the need to speak if you have nothing to say.

5. Never articulate a statement as a question

A little uptick at the end of a sentence transforms even a definitive statement

into a plea for approval. If you’re confident, you make statements that reflect
your knowledge and opinion. If you’ve got a question, ask a question. Don’t mix
the two.

6. Use your hands

The body language that accompanies your message is just as important as the
words coming out of your mouth. Audiences perceive speakers to have more
positive traits such as warmth and energy when they use a variety of gestures.

While some physical gestures, such as fiddling with clothing or touching your
hair, can distract or convey a lack of confidence, using your hands when you
speak is a great way to communicate your excitement and knowledge about
the topic.

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 About The Author

B
rian Tracy is Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International, a company
specializing in the training and development of individuals and organizations.
Brian’s goal is to help you achieve your personal and business goals faster
and easier than you ever imagined.

Brian Tracy has consulted for more than 1,000 companies and addressed more than
5,000,000 people in 5,000 talks and seminars throughout the US, Canada and 56 other
countries worldwide. As a Keynote speaker and seminar leader, he addresses more
than 250,000 people each year.

He has studied, researched, written and spoken for 30 years in the fields of economics,
history, business, philosophy and psychology. He is the top selling author of over 50
books that have been translated into dozens of languages.

He has written and produced more than 500 audio and video learning programs,
including the worldwide, best-selling Psychology of Achievement, which has been
translated into more than 20 languages.

He speaks to corporate and public audiences on the subjects of Personal and

Professional Development, including the executives and staff of many of America’s
largest corporations. His exciting talks and seminars on Leadership, Selling, Self-Esteem,
Goals, Strategy, Creativity and Success Psychology bring about immediate changes
and longterm results.

He has traveled and worked in over 90 countries on six continents, and speaks four
languages. Brian is happily married and has four children. He is active in community
and national affairs, and is the President of three companies headquartered in San
Diego, California.

Brian is the president of Brian Tracy International, a company that helps individuals
and businesses of all sizes achieve personal and professional goals.

To learn more about Brian Tracy, please visit www.briantracy.com/AboutBrian. If you

have any questions about Brian Tracy learning programs and services, please email
Support@BrianTracy.com or call 1-858-436-7300.

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