Abbigale Grant 1

Interpersonal Communications

22 October 2018

Reflective Writing Assignment #2

Listening. It’s something we could all do a little bit better at. Listening is considered an

“Important ingredient of satisfaction” (Prager & Buhrmester, 1998). Listening is defined as:

“The process of receiving and responding to other’s messages”, at least in our interpersonal

relationships. So we’re going to be analyzing the absolute importance of listening in our own

interpersonal relationships.

The question we’ve been asking ourselves is: “What’s the importance of listening in our

interpersonal relationships”? Well listening as I’ve stated before is considered an “Important

ingredient of satisfaction”. In our interpersonal relationships it’s stated that: “The importance of

listening in our interpersonal relationships cannot be overemphasized”. In a study conducted by

Faye Doell (2003) showed that there are two types of listening: “listening to understand” and

“listening to respond.” Those who “listen to understand” have greater satisfaction in their

interpersonal relationships than others.

Especially in the workplace where working adults were asked to name “The most

common communication behavior they observed in their place of business” (Kenyon et al., 2013)

And of course “listening” topped the list! In the business world executives spend approximately

sixty percent of their communication time listening.

Not only is it in the workplace is “listening” vital but also in our family/social

relationships as well as the career list (Brownell & Wolvin, 2010; Wolvin 1984). In committed

relationships, listening to personal information in everyday conversations is considered an:

“Important ingredient of satisfaction” (Prager & Buhrmester, 1998).

 When I took the Revised Listening Styles Profile they were split up into categories:

Relational Listening, Analytical Listening, Task-Oriented Listening, and Critical Listening.

Before we dive right into what I scored the highest and lowest in allow me to kind of define what

each of these listening styles actually mean.

First off we have Relational Listening. Relational listening is mainly focused on:

“Building emotional closeness with others” People who are relational listeners are typically

extroverted, attentive, and friendly. Relational listeners aim to understand how others feel, are

aware of their emotions, and are highly responsive to those individuals. Relational listeners may

lost their detachment and ability to objectively assess the quality of information others give them

in an effort to be congenital and supportive (Gearhart & Bodie, 2011).

Then we have Analytical Listening. Analytical listening is mainly focused on: “Attending

to the full message before coming to judgement”. They want to hear details and analyze an issue

from a variety of perspectives. Analytical listeners can be a big help when the goal is to assess

the quality of ideas and when there is value in looking at issues from a wide range of

perspectives.

Task-Oriented Listening is focused on: “Efficiency and accomplishing the job at hand”.

Listeners who are Task-Oriented see time as scarce and valuable, and they often grow irritated

when they believe others are wasting it. When deadlines and other pressures demand action can

be beneficial. It’s most appropriate when: “the primary focus is taking care of business”.

Critical Listening is mainly focused on: “Strong desires to evaluate messages”. Critical

listeners go beyond trying to understand the topic at hand and try to assess its quality. They tend

to focus on the accuracy and consistency of a message and tend to be helpful when the goal is to

investigate a problem.
 When I actually took the Revised Listening Styles Profile I scored the highest in

Analytical Listening much to my surprise. I never saw myself as an Analytical Listener to be

honest like I know I tend to listen to what someone has to say before I make a comment or

judgement but I always saw myself more as a Relational Listener which was my second highest

because I like to understand the feelings of speaker so I can sympathize and provide comfort if

needed. I wasn’t too surprised I scored low in Critical and Task-Oriented listening to be honest

because I’m not much of a critical person when it comes to looking for inconsistencies in what a

speaker says nor do I really get impatient with people who ramble on because I also tend to

ramble when I talk.

My lowest score was an eighteen in Critical Listening. I wasn’t really surprised though

because I’m not much of a critical person when I’m listening to to someone talk. I could improve

though like for example in a debate I should be paying attention to inconsistencies in what

someone says so I can craft a better argument. I would help me have better arguments when I

argue sometimes with my sisters (which is quite a lot).

I could use questioning I could use more often. By questioning I could see what the

speaker actually intends to say if I’m not one hundred percent certain on what he/she means. It

would make me seem more enlightened and curious as a listener by asking questions and getting

information to understand what a speaker means a lot better.

By using non-verbal skills such as body language and eye contact I personally feel like I

could be a better listener. By making eye contact it gives the speaker a cue that I’m attentive and

listening to what they have to say and it’s just politie in general to give someone all of your

attention when you’re talking to someone or just even listening it’s common sense. Body

language could be like the listener is sitting up straight or their body is facing towards the
speaker to show the speaker that they have your attention and you’re listening fully to what they

have to say.

In conclusion Listening is an important key function we use in our everyday lives.

Listening shows that we’re attentive to what a speaker has to say to us and it improves and

strengthens our relationships in the workplace and in our interpersonal relationships.

 Sources

Adler, Ronald B., Lawrence B. Rosenfeld, and Russell F. Proctor. 2010. Interplay: the
process of interpersonal communication. New York: Oxford University Press.
Raab, Diana. “Deep Listening in Personal Relationships.” Psychology Today, Sussex
Publishers,