Cole- PH.D.

- Reflection

Stephanie Cole

“PH.D. Reflection

Texas Christian University

School of Education

Curriculum Studies

May 10 2019

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Abstract

The purpose of this paper is the highlight my past which has influenced my current and

future goals in the field of Curriculum Studies. This paper will explore my engagement with

scholarship, my relations to Curriculum, people & disciplines, my fostering of equitable

communities, my development as a scholarly educator, my preparation as a scholar, and my

examination of issues and policies.

Key terms: Curriculum Studies, disability studies, feminist thought, patriarchy, hegemony,

power, oppression, social identities, intersectionality, and scholarship

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Opening Doors of new Discoveries and Opportunities

Stephanie Cole

Back ground

For six weeks I lived in a northern hillside village in Laos: Muang Ngoy. At a local

market I met a man who insisted that I come to this village as his guest during the New Year

Festival. In the weeks prior to the New Year, I spent my time exploring – getting a taste of what

it was like to live as one of the local villagers. My days were spent on river banks watching

women wash laundry, children at play and men tending to their fishing. It took nearly the entire

time I spent in Muang Ngoy before the women wouldn’t whisper as I walked by or the children

laugh and point. By the time the festival took place I was welcomed by all, considered a villager

myself, and was invited to participate in festivities which included dancing, water fighting,

eating and drinking.

Personal experiences such as the one mentioned above have had a great effect upon my

life. I have traveled often – visiting Europe, South &Central America, South-East Asia, Africa,

and parts of the Middle East. Immersing myself into the many countries and cultures changed

my beliefs, my attitudes and has made me a woman of a world without boundaries.

Teaching abroad seemed the natural order of things and after completing my

undergraduate degree at Portland State University, my travels took me to Australia where I

earned a CELTA teaching certificate affiliated with Cambridge University. Armed with that

certificate, I taught English in India, Thailand, Singapore, Malaysia, and Indonesia. I have

worked with a diverse range of peoples and objectives; like Tibetan monks, children to adult

professionals. I worked around and with course curriculums of Basic English grammar, Business

English to English for Specific purposes to university intensive English bridging programs.

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Afterward, I chose to continue my education and earning a Masters of Education at Texas

Christian University, which solidified my rising interest in researching second language

development, diversity in American education and related curriculum and material design. I

spent a great deal of time in the master’s program working with Somali Bantu refugees by

designing instruction to promote literary success. Teaching refugees and immigrants turned my

focus to academic field and course work which entailed creating and implementing instruction

and material around students with limited schooling and culturally diverse educational

backgrounds. It was through working with many refugees and immigrants that opened a new and

exciting window of opportunity for me. Opportunities that have turned my focus again to

academic field and course work, which have entailed designing and implementing instruction

and material around students with limited schooling and culturally diverse educational

backgrounds. The learning and teaching has been a two-way process. The men, women, and

children have taught me about their religious and cultural beliefs and practices. My time with the

refugees improved my own methods of teaching practices and helped me to understand how

students from Somalia learn. As a result, I adapted my teaching, prepared more appropriately for

classes and became more effective in my teaching methods. During my master’s program, I was

also a graduate assistant under Dr. Cecilia Silva, where I assisted behind the scenes in her

classes, learning the process of grading, collaboration among peers, institutions, and students. I

was also a graduate assistant under Dr. Mike Sacken, where I lead a cohort of secondary

education students to gain experience by observing high school practices throughout Fort Worth

independent school districts. Under Dr. Sacken, my responsibilities consisted of: leading

conversations of observations by reflecting on both positive and negative experiences, grading

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student reflections, and collaborating with Dr. Sacken. My graduate assistantship gave me an

inside view of what professors do on a daily existence, where I had the opportunity for hands-on

learning.

Following my Masters’ program, I was made coordinator of the Model United Nations’

Program in Puebla, Mexico. This position entailed teaching subjects such as Human Rights,

Global Issues and Comparative Cultures and Religions while coordinating both local and

international events such as a Model United Nation Conference in Puebla, Mexico; a three-day

International simulation that consisted of 600 international high school delegates debating

various international topics and United Nations agendas. During my stay in Mexico, I gained a

greater knowledge of the U.N. and international issues; the world’s growing global educational

needs and the importance of accepting unconditionally those with ethnically and culturally

diverse backgrounds.

After Mexico, I worked in Morocco as an English language fellow. As an English

language fellow in Rabat, Morocco, I served as a fulltime teacher trainer to fifth year University

students. This program was granted by the U.S. Department of State Bureau of Educational and

Cultural Affairs, Office of English Language Programs and Georgetown University: Center for

Intercultural Education Development. As a fellow in Morocco, my objective was to cultivate an

experience that fostered a positive impact of mutual understanding through training local

teachers of English and enhancing cross cultural communication. My one-year tenure involved

teaching Methodology and Approaches to Learning, Internet and ELT, and Further Training

classes. I also conducted a weekly conversation club for students, as well as an on-line group

discussion board for reading assignments, websites, mini movie clips, photos, files and blogs.

My most challenging task was designing textbooks and curriculum while assisting the English

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Department in adapting and designing Moroccan national EFL standards and guidelines into

current and future curriculums. Throughout this post, I trained students the philosophies in the

English teaching skills by way of various methods and approaches. My post in Morocco enabled

me to organize activities, such as curricula and material development, lesson plans, pre-service

training, in-service training, Peace Corps workshops and seminars. For example, at the American

University of Cairo Skills Conference and Shaping the Way Forward Conference in Cairo, Egypt

I co presented with a colleague “Developing the English Language Learner’s Thinking Skills”.

The workshop consisted of raising the awareness of critical thinking skills in the language

classroom by providing fun and challenging activities to aid in the development of “Thinking

Skills”. I also presented at the MATE (Moroccan Association of Teachers of English)

27th Annual National Leadership Conference in Bouznika, Morocco on “Building Student

Leadership Skills through Model United Nations”. This was a workshop designed to further the

teacher’s knowledge of Model United Nations, the benefits of Model United Nations and how

Model United Nations can build student leadership skills; exploring the “How to” aspects of

implementing a Model United Nations into your class or school and ending with a mini

workshop simulation. The workshop consisted of middle and high school teachers, university

professors and inspectors. I also gave a workshop and training session on Human Rights

Education in coordination with the University of Delaware, Moroccan Ministry of Education and

the Moroccan American Commission for Educational and Cultural Exchange's Partnership 4

learning conference. The workshop and training session was a hands- on exploration of Human

Rights Education through film, classroom activities and pedagogical techniques. Participants

consisted of middle and high school teachers, university professors, school inspectors and

various members of the Moroccan ministry of education. Immersing oneself into the dynamics

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of a diverse community can be a challenge, and especially paving the path as a single young

American woman. It is through the hardest challenges, which I have encountered that have also

served as my greatest accomplishments. These accomplishments have entailed lasting effects of

open –mindedness, patience and, above all, an in-depth understanding into the learning process.

My education and my global liaisons have served as strong reinforcements that have guided and

aided me through the many obstacles. It is because of my struggles and obstacles that I have

come into my own realizations of a clearer direction into my own personal pursuit of furthering

my educational endeavors.

My experiences have allowed me to acquire lasting friendships, gain knowledge of

countries and cultures, network in the greater world community and grow personally from the

rich and diverse countries where I have lived and worked. As an educator I believe in the great

impact education plays on individuals and society at large. Working with an array of

nationalities over the years has taught me a great deal about culture, learning styles, hardships

and, above all, the human experience.

My past experiences have served as a viewing window of what awaits education in the

future. It is because of the many nationalities that I have worked with in the past and present are

but small samples to the much greater populations that are and will be working in our

communities, attending our schools and thus strengthening our world. The knowledge that I

have gained from my past international educational experiences has enabled hands on insight

into the diverse learning styles that blossom in our University classrooms today.

I believe that by continuing and expanding my path in education and research I will

continue to gain insight and knowledge from the people I share this experience with. I am a

student as well as a teacher, learning new ideas and new ways of looking at and approaching

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difficult challenges. I anticipate an experience that will sharpen my teaching tools, styles and

research methods. I aspire to bring my teaching to the highest level possible and continue to be

fully cognizant of new ideas, views and beliefs. I want to continue to meet my personal goal of

lifelong learning and making a positive impact, and which I feel I can stretch my legs

professionally and make the most of what I have to offer.

After Morocco, I was ready to come back to the United States, where I found a place to

still work with international students, at an intensive English program at the University of North

Carolina in Greensboro, where as an instructor, I incorporated intensive language training,

academic preparation and cultural orientation with an array of international students. My work

at UNCG created an in-depth mastery to the educational philosophies of student-centeredness,

experiential learning, and cross-cultural development through project based curriculum. At this

intensive English program they had a very strict student centered teaching policy; all teaching

had to be student lead, which was difficult at first, however, being creative has its perks. For

example, in one of my courses I developed a concept of “ group teach” which was a concept of

student centered teaching, the main idea to group teach was that each student in a group had

different roles and areas to teach the group. For example, one student might use a ted talk to

share with the group; this student was to prepare questions and conversations to get the group to

share to one another. Other roles could consist of looking at various grammar points, readings,

or writing activities. Group teach was totally up to the students just as long as they followed the

agendas of listening, speaking, reading and writing, where each week the roles would switch.

Later on other instructor’s implemented “group teach” into their classes, where we collaborated

to make improvements. For my future courses that I taught, I continued using the concept of

group teach by tweaking the roles; for example, group writing peer reviews, where student had

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different roles in reviewing a student’s paper. Academic reading groups were another area where

I implemented group teach, again using different roles for the students to share and create their

own understandings to the material. The freedom and choice of the student centered group teach

concept has also been embodied in my teaching philosophies.

For seven years, I worked at TCU’s intensive English program, with four years being a

core faculty member of that department. As an instructor, I taught all levels of the courses that

were offered, which consisted of preparing students in the English language proficiency

necessary to matriculate into American universities. During my time at TCU’s intensive English

program, I also taught two semesters as an adjunct professor of the Writing as Inquiry ENGL

10803-020 section for the international athletes, which consisted of following the English

department’s common core syllabus, In addition, I taught four semesters of Advanced and

Intermediate Composition Skills ENFL 10103/10113 – 005 course, which gave me freedom to

create my own syllabi and choose the material. I also developed a business English course and a

TOEFL prep course here at TCU through the extended education department. I was also a

member of the Rwanda student scholarship advisory committee, which consisted of selecting an

eligible student candidate to come to TCU’s intensive English program to study academic

English skills necessary to matriculate into an American university. In my seven years at TCU’s

intensive English program, I have assisted and mentored two Rwandan students that have now

graduated from TCU.

The above mentioned experiences have enabled as well as given me the exposure of

higher education pedagogical practices, where I had the realization that my next step was to

pursue a doctorate in curriculum studies with future aspirations of a professorship in this field.

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The next section will illustrate the goals and expectations that I have met in the curriculum

studies PH.D. program.

Curriculum Studies PH.D. program ( Goals and Expectations)

My biggest surprise throughout my four years of course work was discovering how my

knowledge and ideas were shaped and morphed into discipline areas that I had no initial concept

of; as I was sure that I would let my past international, and cultural competencies shape my ideas

towards research and future scholarship. This program offered an array of diverse course work

and concepts which opened up new doors and opportunities for me to explore and ponder.

Engagement with Critical Scholarship

In our Race and Education seminar course our first assignment was to write an auto

ethnography that captured our racialized experience in early schooling, after completion we

joined groups in collaboration to expand upon our racialized experience. First, we started out by

reading each other’s auto ethnographies by creating a written dialogue probing each other to go

deeper and expand upon our experiences with theories to support our experiences. Our group

consisted of 3 white bodied doctorial students exploring post-colonial discourse, intersectionality

theory, queer theory and black Marxism. What I captured from this assignment was the

important concept that I will never be able to fully understand what POC (people of color) have

gone through and continue to go through today. In 2014, I suffered from a major stroke which

affected the use of my left side, leaving me paralyzed. I remember getting angry when friends

and family said that they understood what I was going through. How could they even begin to

understand? In a matter of 12 hours, I went from walking to wheelchair bound. It was this

experience that helped me to navigate that, like my disability, I would never fully understand

what POC have gone through; just as able-bodied people would never understand my own

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experience. But, I will continue to better situate myself so that I can better see, that like POC

experience racism, a social constructed category, and that disability is also a social constructed

category created to separate people. What I have taken away from this project is that the binary

systems of colonialism continue to exist today through dominant socially constructed categories

such as racism and disability/ableism. This project allowed me to explore colonial and post-

colonial theories, while trying to comprehend Foucault, and Spivak.

Relating Curriculum, People and Disciplines

Throughout this program I was exposed to a variety of research methodologies,

paradigms, and epistemological practices in such courses as Research in Education, Qualitative

Research I& II, and Ethnography. For my Qualitative Research courses I conducted a narrative

research study on the experiences of an international student studying at an American university,

playing attention to this student’s past, present experiences and how these experiences

contributed to the overall experience of studying at an American university while first attending

a bridge program of intensive English training. This study gave me hands on learning on

interviewing, transcribing, coding/ analyzing data, and writing up my study’s results and finally

presenting my results to other qualitative students. Although I had difficulty in my study’s write

up process; it was through the numerous attempts that I learned the order, the language and the

process for conducting such a research study. I feel that these experiences and course work have

better prepared me for my future research and scholarship.

Fostering Equitable Communities

My Neoliberal education course was a very beneficial learning experience and

opportunity as it gave us the hands on learning needed to utilize what we had read and learned in

the course and apply it to real-life issues of injustices in education. For this course we created

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digital portfolios, presented posters on our issue and put together a community event on the TCU

campus: Education as a Human Right a listening event. As a class, our job was to reach out to

various communities in Texas, by informing them about our event. Posters were made, and we

posted them around TCU and Fort Worth. This was my first attempt in reaching out to people

and organizations; it was a very exciting and successful event. My portfolio and poster

highlighted: the current state of public education in the United States, and how this is a violation

of human rights by addressing these questions: What is corporate educational reform? What are

the consequences of corporate educational reform? How are human rights being violated? Who

are the winners? Who are the losers?

This class opened my eyes to what was happening to the state of public education in our

country and even in our own back yard in Texas. In the past I was focused on quality education

around the world as education is a right; I had no idea that our American students were suffering

the same fate as students in developing countries. American students are being denied education

based on the transformation of American public education due to the impact of (1) changing

market economics, (2) neoliberal practices, (3) privatization, and (4) pauperization. While

examining the latter as they negatively impact the black, brown and poor populations throughout

major U.S cities. Watkins (2012) illustrates that it is because of the changing economic state

there has been a redistribution of wealth, causing a reconfiguration of the labor markets, as a

result, corporations and foundations now guide school reorganization, guiding school reform

replacing neighborhood schools with school closings reconfigurations, and curriculum change.

Watkins (2012) takes the direction of the new social order, describing that in the future jobs will

not be available as they will be replaced by a technological industry.

Development as a Scholarly Educator

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There were two apprenticeships requirements of this program; apprenticeship in research,

and in teaching.

MSL 2018 research apprenticeship

For three weeks in June, Texas Christian University’s (TCU) Andrew’s Institute of

Science and Mathematics hosted a mathematics, science, and language program (MSL) for the

Fort Worth independent school district (FWISD) language schools. The two schools this year

were the International newcomer’s Academy (INA) World Language Institute (WLI). Both

schools have students who are on a Spanish Immersion and Dual Language Enrichment program

path. The students from both schools were from all around the world, some with prior formal

academic schooling, some preliterate, lacking any formal/academic schooling. For the 2018 MSL

program the 45 students were 7th and 8th graders.

The Big Picture

This year’s theme was a crime scene investigation (CSI) taking a forensic investigation on

our missing t-shirts. We set up an official, authentic crime scene; leaving behind evidence of a

signature, a footprint, blood, and a finger print for the students to investigate as separate

inquiries. Each time the students went to the crime scene, they had different tasks to accomplish.

These tasks varied from scale drawing to photography, and to even measuring a foot print left at

the scene. After these tasked were completed, the students were divided into two different classes

of science and mathematics, and would flip each day. For example, one day in science the

students would test the ink (chromatography) and the following day in mathematics, they would

discover the mathematic formula (retardation factor) to measure the weight and movement of the

ink from the chromatography experiment. Each class had a time for a journal write up; writing

what they did, and what they learned using the new vocabulary, and transitional signal words. In

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between activities, the students had a chance to reiterate the new vocabulary through Sustained

Silent Reading (SSR) and literature circles with TCU students. Each day the MSL students

encountered a new scientific and mathematic inquiry related to the overarching question - Where

are the missing t-shirts? With each inquiry, the students created a visual chart to help them

organize their work with sub topics which consisted of: a question, a plan, data, evidence, and

how to communicate the information. Each day’s inquiry helped narrow down the five suspects

who allegedly took the t-shirts.

The MSL program has been in existence for over ten years. Each year the theme changes, but

the goal remains the same of integrating language, mathematics, and science instruction in order

to develop academic language that will transfer across all educative content areas. In addition to

increased knowledge in science and mathematics, the MSL students will gain social language

skills of reading, writing, and speaking. The 2018 MSL research team consisted of Dr. Molly

Weinburgh (science expert), Dr. Cecilia Silva (English literacy expert), Dr. Kathy Smith

(mathematics expert), two science FWISD teachers, and several graduate students. In

collaboration, this team’s objective was to investigate the effectiveness of using Sheltered

Instruction strategies in teaching mathematics and science to students who have limited English

language proficiency. The research team expects to document improvement in English language,

mathematics knowledge, and science knowledge. In addition, the team expects to document

which strategies are most effective in an enhanced science program.

Data collection

Before the program, interviews were conducted with some of the students from one of the

schools. Interviews were recorded for research purposes. The information collected from the

interviews hoped to capture forensic investigations concepts of DNA, finger printing, and blood

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types. These same students were interviewed again on the last day to determine what knowledge

they had gained from the program. The student’s journals were an important data collection

point. The student’s journal was a collection of writings of what they did, what they learned, as

well as drawings and mathematical and visual representations of the various experiments they

conducted. These journals were a major component of class time using the new vocabulary and

to reiterate their new knowledge of language, science and mathematics. These journals were

meticulously organized by topic, which even included a student biography. In addition to the

interviews and the journals, the classes were also recorded for future analysis.

Theory

As English language learner’s (ELL’s) are engaging in their school environment, it is

important to support the language learned in their familiar communities (home and social circles)

while expanding their language knowledge across school curriculum; learning should be a social

process. Grounded in Vygotsky’s social constructivist theory, the MSL students were comprised

of learning communities. The MSL students created a definition to what makes a great

community with rules. According to the students, communities are fun, respectful, and helpful to

one another. The MSL research team relied on the social interaction while incorporating

language, mathematics, and science inquiry instruction. Griffith & Silva (2014) stress that “One-

way teachers can explicitly support students’ language development is by focusing on the

language that emerges within the context of science inquiry” (p.341). For ELL’s content specific

vocabulary is difficult, but becomes achievable through the use of scaffolding and the 5R Model

(replace, reveal, reposition, repeat, and reload) which is a guided process that allows the students

to transition from informal language to build their formal language by helping them with

academic language. Lemke (2004) illustrates that” Scientific literacy is not just the knowledge of

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scientific concepts and facts; it is the ability to make meaning conjointly with verbal concepts,

mathematical relationships, visual representations, and manual-technical operations” (p.34).

Furthering that student success depends on the fact that students need to not just do hands-on

science and talk and write science in words; they also need to draw science, tabulate science,

graph science, and geometrize and algebraize science in all possible combinations. For the MSL

program, the research team made a daily effort to separate the academic words from the

everyday informal words through the use of word walls and vocabulary activities. It was evident

after becoming familiar with the MSL’s research protocol, and past published academic articles

on the subject that the research literature that was used to support their expanding quest was put

into practice.

Curriculum studies take

For three weeks, the MSL program embedded the literacies of English with the hybrid

mixture of semiotic representation in the sciences. It is in the overlap of these literacies that

students need to be successful in their schooling. Semiotic representation goes beyond natural

language by enabling students to understand and make better sense of their material world. As

humans, and individuals, we bring our past histories, cultures and experiences to the forefront of

our learning, which in turn, creates meaning. As both a curriculum studies scholar, and former

ELL educator, I could not help but be reminded of Judith Butler and her work in the concept of

performativity, in that language is a performative act through speech, and nonverbal

communication. As illustrated by Jackson & Mazzei (2012) Butler believes that “language

creates a category which then creates space of conflicting subjectivities of knowledge” (p.67).

She posits that Language is at the core of knowledge, and that knowledge is a social product,

where gender is socially constructed which in turn defines and maintain our identities; thus,

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one’s reality is constructed through language. It is also through language and knowledge where

power hierarchies intersect; she takes a Foucauldian take on power relations and identity

categories in that those individuals can create meaning only in relation to what they are exposed

to in their environment, making language both cultural and social. She believes that language

produces possibilities, thus giving agency to that person. Paradoxically, the same individuals co-

create the meanings that are available in their environment. It was interesting to observe the MSL

students create and find new meanings through the lens of Butler in that she believes language

gives a sense of livability which requires recognition to some kind and that there are occasions in

which names do sustain us in a different material world environment; in this case the use of the

5R Model, that allowed the students to transition from informal language to build upon their

formal language by helping them with academic language into their current and future

situations(science education). The MSL students had hands-on experience with the scientific

inquiries with a sheltered English approach that allowed the MSL students to experience a

language rich environment, blended with both English, and with the language of Semiotic

representation. Science drove the curriculum in this program, which provided a powerful means

to engage students and sustain their engagement with scientific thinking, writing, and speaking.

The MSL program produced equal opportunities for all the students to experience science, which

is typically a male-driven field, with 3 strong female role models.

Reflection

In working as an MSL research apprentice, I was reminded of my love of working with

international students learning English. As an MSL research apprentice I worked in and with the

student communities assisting in their hands-on inquiries, watching how they learned and

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developed their new academic vocabulary. I conducted both recorded pre and post interviews,

where I witnessed detailed descriptions of forensic investigations and the concepts of DNA,

fingerprinting, and blood typing. I also read, and commented in the student journal writing of

what they did and what they learned, witnessing a detailed write-up using new academic

vocabulary and transitional signal words. It was also evident after familiarizing myself with the

MSL’s research protocol and past academic articles published that the research literature used to

support their expanding quest was put into practice. The MSL research team’s objective was to

analyze the effectiveness of using the Sheltered English teaching method in teaching

mathematics and science inquiry in this program. Based on my own analysis of the program’s

objective, I would say that it was successfully met. I observed in three weeks the student’s

increased ability to write and speak using their newly acquired academic vocabulary compiling it

all together in their community digital storyboard presentation. Their digital storyboard

presentation was made possible with the collaboration of Dr. Anderson’s Digital literacy course

and students enrolled in the course. As researcher, I learned new ideas of what data could be,

such as student’s drawing, graphs and parent interviews. I also acquired the knowledge of using

TCU’s Box digital storage, which, unfortunately, we found out that its storage capacity was

smaller than we needed. In the three weeks of data collection, I realized that we had collected

enough data that would take us years to analyze. My favorite part of the program was helping the

students extract DNA from a strawberry, an act I have never experienced while witnessing the

students curiosity grow. Hypothetically, if I were to conduct research during this summer

program I might examine the power structures of language as it relates to our hegemonic

institutions through the lens of both Butler and Foucault. Examining that the students are ELL’s,

which, unfortunately can often time lead to marginalization and even poverty if these students do

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not develop the necessary English skills needed for higher education and the work force. I would

conclude that the three weeks at the MSL summer program gave these students a great advantage

for their futures. I would also further that the 2018 MSL program was a marriage in both verbal

literacy and digital media literacy that created an excellent environment of science education.

Apprenticeship in teaching Diversity and Social Justice in American Education

Full Circle from student to teacher:

As a master’s student in 2004, I was required to take the Diversity in American Education

course. Now 2018, I am a Ph.D. student co-teaching this class with Dr. Fran Huckaby. It is

important to note that it is because of this 2004 required course I decided to further my

knowledge in the curriculum studies program. My focus has morphed from the 2004 focus of

international student’s cultural identities to a much wider scope of equity and social justice for

all students. In the ten years plus of taking this course important concepts have surfaced and

people are more aware of the current issues which students today are faced in the classroom;

issues such as identity politics(race, class, sexual oriental and ableism) that can affect the

learning needs of individual students. In the 2018 class we are surveying topics of race, social

class, culture and language topics gender and queer topics, ableism and religion by taking a

social justice stance by looking at what we could do as an ally or advocate. In the 2004 course

we examined the case of Ryan White and the program and governmental act that were enacted to

help people living with HIV/Aids by holding class discussions on why this was important and

finally recognized as a growing health concern. We also had conversational buttons to wear for

eliciting discussions on topics such as indigenous, gay and HIV rights. This 2004 course

demanded that we go deeper and beyond the surface of issues by pulling back the layers of what

we had been previously taught. Leaving this course enabled me to explore my world with new

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eyes; wanting to know more I enrolled in the PhD curriculum studies program. Part of the PhD

curriculum studies program is that we co-teach this course and eventually teach it at the adjunct

level, which would be a dream come true to come full circle as a student of diversity to

professor, as I feel there are so many areas to further this course in to the future. This current

diversity and social justice course has come a long way since the 2004 course I attended. I am

thrilled to see that this course is still a requirement for future teachers; that has now expanded

topics to dig deeper into for necessary conversations to explore and address. Now a PhD student,

I feel that I am much more knowledgeable on these explored topics, I now need to work on

finding my space and place as teacher, which will be explored in the next section.

Space and Place as Teacher:

I have been a teacher for many years mainly in the arenas of English as a second

language and second language acquisition; I was comfortable and confident as I knew my

students well. However, I lost this confidence after my stroke. I equate this loss to my speech

therapist in rehabilitation. It was after receiving word of my acceptance into the PhD curriculum

studies program; I was ecstatic with joy and told all my doctors and therapists my happy news.

However, my speech therapist told me that I would never be capable of completing a doctorate;

to make her point she took down a book on Neurology and had me read it out loud, of course I

fumbled the material, she looked at me and said “see, you can’t even read that”. It was from that

moment my confidence was shattered. For three years, I have pushed myself to find my voice

and my space as a doctoral student through presentations and conferences. I feel I have slowly

regained my confidence. In co-teaching this course, I have facilitated the readings two times

now. It was recommended that I ask questions and share experiences with the students to

establish a connection. I must confess that it has been hard to get to know these students through

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co-teaching. In my past teaching experiences, I would have “get to know you activities” that

would allow me to familiarize their faces with their names. I have taken over the attendance,

which has helped me with their names. In addition to attendance, I have read their papers which

have allowed me to better familiarize myself to the students. Overall, I feel I am finding my

space and place as a teacher. This part of the curriculum studies program has been very

beneficial for me as I find my “teaching legs” again. As for my past experience with my speech

therapist, it was an experience that taught me what kind of person not to be. I want to be the type

of educator that cares and gives hope to all students. I want to be an educator that knows all her

students and helps them to discover their true potential, regardless of their situation.

In sum, my co-teaching thus far has been a very rewarding and eye-opening experience. I

have had the opportunity to come full circle in this course of one as a student to one as a teacher.

This has given me the experience and opportunity to put my teaching hat back on with additional

knowledge as I find my space and place as a teacher now.

Paying it forward

For an entire semester I was an apprentice to Dr. Fran Huckaby in the Diversity and

Social Justice in American Education course in which I lead facilitations, graded assignments,

and learned what worked and what did not work. Moreover, I observed what I would use in the

future for this course.

Attributes to carry over

In this section, I would like to discuss the attributes that I would continue to use. The area

of diversity and social justice in American education is a broad topic. I thought surveying some

major areas was a great way to start the introductions of some much need conversations. I would

continue this surveying approach, but perhaps go deeper into certain areas that the students

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wanted to know more about. For example, I would get feedback from the current students on the

areas that they wanted to go deeper into. From reading many students’ portfolios, I learned that

they really learned a lot from the PNG activity, as well as the visit from the PFLAG group. These

two activities would be carried over into a future course. The most important observation that I

learned in this apprenticeship was the gift of choice giving the students opportunities to choose

certain areas. Dr. Huckaby created a democratic atmosphere in this course, which in turn, created

a warm, inviting, and safe space for the students.

Classroom Democracy

One of the first activities was dividing the students into six groups, with each group

pertaining to the six topic areas for class discussions. The groups were in charge of picking out

their readings from various books. In compliance to the fair use copyrighted material policy,

which is the use of any copying of copyrighted material done for a limited and transformative

purpose, such as to comment upon, criticize, or parody of a copyrighted work. Dr. Huckaby takes

advantage of this policy by rotating the material throughout her many courses. As a student, this

fair use practice has been greatly appreciated as it has exposed me to new material and has help

cut down on the costs of expensive text books, which in turn, shows that the professor cares

about the well beings of their students. In addition to student’s picking out their classroom

readings, they also got to choose which route to take on their final exam project; an art project or

a form of social justice practice. Being that Dr. Huckaby had not yet experienced the latter of the

options, she was quick to adjust and make necessary adjustments to meet the student’s options. I

have felt that Dr. Huckaby practices Nell Nodding’s form of caring ethics.

Ethics of care

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For many years Dr. Huckaby has been my professor where I have witnessed her

continuous energy and efforts towards creating an environment where caring flourishes. For

example, she models caring through class dialogues, and practices which in turn has created a

conformation of trust and continuity; it is through her social justice topics and conversations she

has provided a caring model in the TCU community and I am positive that her students will pay

it forward in their future teaching and future students. I know that I will. DR. Huckaby opens her

home up to students just as her former professors did to her.

In sum, my semester of being an apprentice has opened up a wealth of knowledge that I

want to carry it forward when and if I have the opportunity to teach this course in the future.

Many of the activities such as PNG day and PFLAG are ones that I will carry over, as well as

creating a classroom democracy and modeling ethics of care. Thus, everything that I acquired in

this course will be paid forward.

Preparation as a Scholar

In four years, I have presented in three conferences and co-authored a published book

review. These experiences and opportunities have given me a step up and view into my future

aspirations towards a future professorship.

2016 WGST Graduate Symposium

For this 2016 symposium, I presented Bell hook’s book: Feminist theory from margin to center,

where I discussed the concepts of first wave feminist movements and discussed how to

implement the third wave feminist movement at TCU through by exploring successful

movements like Black Lives Matter, and #the being minority blog at TCU; and how to move

these movements forward at TCU.

2017 Society of Professors of Education

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Alongside Dr. Huckaby, I presented our community film designed for our Film as Inquiry

class: Trinity Valley School and the community. My partners Ying Wang, Yoon Lee and myself

created a short film to introduce future student teachers to the school they would serve. TVS was

a challenging project trying to capture a narrative free of bias. When, a private institution incites

a bias of privilege from the start. As a group, we first acknowledged our own bias of TVS, and

set out to create a narrative that did not show privilege or that it was a private institution. But, as

we continued we found this was nearly impossible. For example, the interviews with the parents

were set around a living area of a beautiful home, where the mothers were relaxed discussing

their experiences on plush and luxurious couches. It was hard because of our own privileges

blurred the reality we were trying to create. Our fellow class mates were quick to point out the

privileged perspectives we were capturing. As a result we remedied this problem by focusing on

TVS’s unique programs like the Global initiative program, TOE and their volunteer Community

hour’s initiative. Besides a rigorous academic agenda, TVS accommodates the whole student,

provides opportunities-through the arts, sports, and programs, and builds a moral character with

strong work ethics for life beyond TVS.

2018 Bergamo Conference on Curriculum Theory and Classroom Practice

For our Race and Education class, Ying Wang, Whitney Roach and myself presented our

chapters which consisted of utilizing duo/ trio-ethnographies and guided by Pinar’s concepts of

currere (Pinar, 1994), the authors of these three papers recounted lived experiences anchored in

theories around race and education, such as decolonial theories (Said, 1985; Spivak, 1985),

Deleuzian Desire (Deleuze & Guattari, 1987; Braidotti, 2011), Difficult Knowledge (Britzman &

Pitt, 1996), and Queer Theories (Anzaldua, 2007; Sedgwick, 1990). Apart from examining

personal experiences, these authors also critically and generously engage with their colleagues in

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listening to and responding to others’ stories. Additionally, the authors of these works discuss

through personal narratives the nuanced challenges of living different lives within the same

social boundaries and possible solutions to the status quo.

Collectively, these works explore how race issues continue to be salient and intertwined

in our social and educational development, which thereby require constant revisiting and

(re)writing of our relationships with people who share our individual racial identities and those

who do not. The papers included here explore how we come to understand race through

interaction, rhetorical listening, and responding viscerally and intellectually to others. Perhaps

most importantly, we seek to present what was otherwise impossible conversations as a vigorous

avenue to talk about race and education. These papers have allowed both self-interrogations and

outward explorations where diverse lived experiences help deepen our understandings of race

issues exponentially. The nuanced challenges faced by bodies of privilege are explored, as

scholars, both white and of color identify similarities and differences in their upbringings and

understandings of the world by both traditional academic schooling and personal familial

relationships.

Positioning ethnography as a form of qualitative inquiry, this collection reflects the process and

value of qualitative research in the Post-Truth era. The authors of these selected essays have not

only outlined how living in a raced society shapes behaviors and thoughts differently, but also

shows how hosting these dialogues within/beyond a classroom setting and cultural borders

requires us to challenge ourselves and unlearn all-too-quick judgments towards people different

than ourselves. The varying topics and conversations housed in these papers represent a

multitude of societal privilege including race, socio-economic status, and heteronormativity.

Arguably, different races, genders, and ethnicities of these scholars as well as edges and

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oppressions as a result of their identities have become the ground where individuals harken back

to others where experiences converge, and perhaps more importantly listen genuinely and

respectfully where experiences diverge significantly.

Navigating, working around, and working together to decipher these privileges and barriers

through duo/tri-ethnographies provides raw insight into the difficult concept of learning and

navigating race through education. Here, the authors hope to explore the idealistic hegemony that

Others many in our culture. How these hegemonic, patriarchal, and privileged classes

marginalize and oppress all stakeholders, and what steps can be taken in identifying the multiple

powers associated within race and life. The multiple conversations offer a unique opportunity to

expose taboos and unpopular conversations left untouched on most occasions.

Mr. Ramirez Published Book Review

Cameron Potter, a fellow PH.D. curriculum studies student and I co-authored a published

book review under the guidance of Dr. Huckaby. This review was published in Teachers College

Record in July of 2018.

Examination of Issues and Policies

For a project in our Feminist theory seminar class we created a photo voice project. Photo

voice is a participatory method, defined by its creators Wang and Burris 1997 as a ““process by

which people can identify, represent and enhance their community through a specific

photographic technique” (Wang and Burris 1997, p. 369). It uses images as a tool to deconstruct

problems by posing meaningful questions in a community to find actionable solutions. For my

photo voice project, I focused around one photo that highlighted my adapted vehicle for right

handed driving, after my 2014 stroke paralyzed my left side. This photo brought about civil

rights movements as the ADA (Americans with disabilities act) followed shortly thereafter; as

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well as black feminist theory and intersectionality as it crisscrosses or intersects at social

identities. This allowed me to examine my own privileged intersections of race and class; that I

was even able to have a car to be adapted.

It was through this photo voice project that I started considering looking at disability

studies through a curriculum studies lens and tying it to socially constructed categories that

create and construct power and oppression and dictate what is normal. Using this photo voice as

a spring board to further examine: “The disabled body navigating in the landscape of able bodied

systems-being “othered” by dominate power play as a socially constructed identity as less than”

How power and oppression mark one’s identity. Disability happens. Juxtaposition disability

studies with critical race theory.

Conclusion

In sum, it from my past experiences that has brought me to my current opportunities;

opportunities of studying in the curriculum studies PH.D. program where all my course work,

and projects have all been very beneficial learning experiences and opportunities as they have

given me the hands on learning needed to utilize what we had read and learned in the courses and

apply it to real-life issues and towards my future aspirations of a professorship in the field of

curriculum studies.

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References

Griffith, R., Silva, C., & Weinburgh, M. (2014). Language and Literacy Brokering: Becoming

"Linguisticians" through Parent Interviews. Language Arts, 91(5), 340-351. Retrieved

from http://www.jstor.org/stable/24575545.

Jackson, A. Y., & Mazzei, L. A. (2012). Butler: Thinking with performativity. In Thinking with

Theory in Qualitative Research. (pp. 67-84). Taylor & Francis. New York, NY.

Lemke, J. L. (2004). The literacies of science: Crossing Borders in Literacy and Science

Instruction. Perspectives on theory and practice, 33-47.

Watkins, W. H. (2012). The assault on public education: Confronting the politics of corporate

school reform. New York: Teachers College Press. CHAPER1.

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