C HA PT E R 2

WRITING BUSINESS MESSAGES

FIA1163 Professional Writing

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 Includes memorandums, reports, proposals and other forms of
writing.

 Used in organizations to communicate with internal or external audiences.

 Used to convey information.

 Focuses on one problem or issue.

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 Concise & compact – straight to the point.

 Use short and brief sentences.

 Plain & direct language (no fancy words).

 Graphic devices for highlighting (bullets, headings) if necessary

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Effective
business Good organisation
writing

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Organising Your
Message
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  Is the message clear?
 Are the details sufficient?
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 Is there completeness?
1. Taking too long to get to the point – improper introduction / ‘advertisement’
 No introduction to the topic.
 Not stating the purpose of writing.

Make subject and

Solution
purpose clear
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2. Irrelevant materials
 Are the details important?
 How does A relate to B?
 E.g. A will cause B and indirectly C will happen.

Include all relevant

Solution
information

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3. Mixed-up ideas (identify the different main ideas, supporting info)

 All ideas are mentioned and distributed throughout the paragraphs.

 Touch n’ go – mentioned and let go – no sufficient details.

Group ideas and present

Solution in logical ways.

E.g. start with problems and end with

suggestions to solve problems.
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4. Leaving out important information
 What needs to be done or improved?
 Venue, time, date, person-in-charge, etc.

Include all necessary

Solution information.

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S

 Bad organization wastes readers’ time.

 Struggle for understanding.

 May lead to misinterpretation of message that

results in:

 Poor decision making

 Shattered (ruined) business relationship. 14

1. Saves time 4. Increases understanding
o Efficient (effective) message o Precise needs
o Message is easily understood o Effective communication
o Satisfy audience’s needs
2. Saves work
o Ensures writer is on the right track 5. Readers become more receptive (open)
o No extra work o Logical message enhances credibility and
adds authority (expert)

3. Helps delegation (handing over)

o Divide large, complex writing jobs 15
 A statement about
1. Define the main idea. Broad subject of message the topic

 Main idea ≠ topic

Topic Main Idea
One word, if possible General idea what the writer wants to convey
E.g. “Smartphones” E.g. “Apple will be launching iPhone 7 in April 2014.”

 General purpose – e.g. to inform, to persuade, etc.

 Specific purpose – What do you want to achieve?

 E.g. I want to persuade my audience that the newly launched iPhone 7 is the best smartphone in
the year 2014. 16
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2. Limit the scope (length and details of message)

 What is the desired length?

 Details – venue, date, time, etc.

 Is it within the framework?

 Track the schedule.

 Limit the context

 Too much details will result in loss of focus.

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3. Structure the message

 Narrow the scope  provide supporting details

Thriller Horror Chucky

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4. Choose ‘direct’ or ‘indirect’ approach. (by analysing the audience)

Direct Approach Indirect Approach

Main idea comes first, followed by Evidence comes first, followed by

the evidence. the main idea.

5. Conduct audience reaction analysis.

 Positive feedback
 Negative feedback
 Neutral 20
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Composing and Shaping
Your Message

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Outline Flow chart Let them flow!
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 FOUR WAYS

(C) (D)
(A) Control (B) Select Produce Develop
the style the best creative coherent
and tone words effective paragraph
sentences
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STYLE:
1. Use plain (common) English for better understanding.

2. Select the correct voice:

Characteristic Active Passive

Length of sentence Short Wordy and long

Strength of message Strong and vigorous Cumbersome (bulky)

(energetic)

Accuracy of message Concise Vague (unclear) 26

3. Passive voice – softens bad news and creates neutral tone:

Example: “….We apologize but your contract will be terminated in June….”

a. To be diplomatic. (cautious / subtle)

 Used when pointing out a problem.

 E.g. Precautions need to be taken in order to stop unwanted babies.

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b. To avoid attribution, credit or blame. (Focus is to emphasize on what’s being
done/action/result.)

 Anonymity purposes.

 E.g. (According to Mr. XYZ,) the crime weapons were found on the scene. (an object)

 E.g. A mistake was made. (action)

c. To create objective (unbiased) tone.

 Used to maintain neutrality.

 Used when writing formal reports, e.g research report / business report. 28
TONE:
 Depends on the nature of the message (and relationship with the audience too!).

 Language used must have appropriate tones:

 Forceful vs. objective

 Personal vs. formal

 Colourful vs. dry

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 Use conversational tone – use plain /direct language

– leave out stuffy (dry), stiff (rigid) and wordy sentences.

 Avoid the followings:

Avoid Description(s)
• Ask yourself, “Will I talk like this face-to-face?”
Obsolete (outdated) language
• Minimize overly formal language.
• Arrogance should not be present.
Pompous (arrogant) sentences
• Do not inflict (impose) self importance.
• No stories about personal life.
Intimacy
• E.g. “Just between you and me…”
Communication difference across different
Humour
cultures may end up in misunderstanding.
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Preaching or bragging Do not pretend like you know everything.
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 Grammatical errors lead to the followings:

 Lose credibility.

 Lack of preparation.

 Lack of research or background knowledge.

Express relationships among

content words
i. Use functional (conjunctions, prepositions, etc.) and content (explicit and implicit words) words
correctly. 33
 Functional
words

Expresses
relationships

Conjunction Preposition Pronouns Articles

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 Noun

Carries meaning
Verb
of sentence
Content words
Adjective

Adverb
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 ii. Abstract vs. concreteness

Abstract Concreteness

Express concept, Intellectual, Broad, hence Things that can

Clear, direct and
quality or academic, subject to many be touched or
exact.
characteristics. philosophical. interpretations seen.

Eg: love, honour, beauty 36

 Choose the best words that communicate well.

 Use strong words. (That express your thoughts most clearly and accurately)

Our company’s products are good.

Our company’s products are the best.

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 Winter in Korea is quite cold.

Winter in Korea is very cold.

Winter in Korea is extremely cold. 38

 Use familiar words.

It is a difficult task to ascertain

information about the company.

It is a difficult task to find out

information about the company.

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 Avoid clichés

 Use plain, understandable English.

Cliché Meaning

Time will tell Something will be revealed over time

Fit as fiddle In great shape
Frightened to death Very scared or frightened
When life throws you lemons, make lemonade Being positive about what may come
Call the shot Be in charge
Worst nightmare Strong competitor or disaster
Cost an arm and leg Expensive 40
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1. Understand the four types of sentences:
a. Simple sentence  1 main clause (Mr. John waited for his manager.)
b. Compound sentence  2 independent and related main clauses (Mr. John waited
for his manager, but his manager was late.)
c. Complex sentence 1 dependent and 1 independent clauses (While he waited
at the office, Mr. John realized that his manager was late.)
d. Compound-complex sentence 2 main clauses and 1 dependent clause (Mr.
John could not meet his manager because it was late, and he was frustrated.)
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2. Emphasize important ideas through sentence style:

a. Give important ideas more space (lessen unnecessary details).

b. Put them at the beginning or at the end of the sentence (depending on

the types of approach; direct or indirect).

c. Make them the subject of the sentence.

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 What is a paragraph?

A cluster of sentences all related to the same

general topic. It is a unit of thought, separated
from other units by skipping a line or indenting
the first line.

 What are the elements of paragraph?

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 Paragraph development

 Choice of technique depends on subject, intended audience and purpose.

 Following are five of the most common techniques:

a. Illustration – giving examples that demonstrate the general idea.

b. Comparison or contrast - use similarities or differences to develop the topic.

c. Cause and effect – focus on the reasons for something.

d. Classification – showing how a general idea is broken into specific categories.

e. Problem and solution – presenting a problem and then discuss the solution. 45
Writing Effective Email
Message
FIA1163 Professional Writing
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1. Organising email messages:

 Start email by inserting original question.

 Saves reader’s time to locate information.

 Helps to refresh reader’s memories on previous message.

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 Dear Mr. Brown,

Pertaining your question on the safety

issues in workplace…………

We would like to suggest………

 Limit email message to ONE (1) screen only.

 Important  least important.

 Get to the point ASAP.

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 Composing email messages: - Level of formality depends on your audience and purpose

 Know how to use e-mail address

• CC = courtesy Direct email to

copy recipient
• Send email to To : francis.brown@gmail.com

additional people Cc : stella-hills@gmail.com • BCC = blind

• For reference
Bcc : williamleesmith@gmail.com courtesy copy
only
• Send email to
Subject : Implementation of Dress Code
additional people

Interesting & secretly

informative • Unethical
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 Effective subject  Grab audience’s attention.

 Subject should be:

 Informative
 25 – 40 characters
 Keywords, quotations, questions, etc.
 E.g. “Employee parking”  “Revised Resurfacing Schedule for Parking Lot”

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E-mail without subject?

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 Avoid lines that run off the screen.

 Limit characters in each line.

 80 words per line.

VS

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 Avoid styled texts.

 Not every PC or laptop can read the text.

 Use composition tips if help is needed.

 Check spelling, grammar, capitalisation and punctuation.

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 Personalising messages – depends on audience and purpose:
 Greetings

Dear Professor Kim VS Hi, Professor Kim!

 Appreciation

Regards
VS Yours sincerely

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 Signature

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