Bratager 1

Joshua Bratager

Mr. Macleod

Pre-AP English II

14 December 2017

A Jumble of Synonyms

Even to this day, I am still becoming acclimated to the challenges that a vocabulary quiz

has to offer. Although we know when they are going to happen, as soon as the quiz starts

everything real is fake, everything true is a lie, and all boundaries have been ditched after having

the ability to choose a word from any unit. We are constantly reminded about when these quizzes

are going to occur, but one day it just blew through the back of my mind, Phineas Gage-Style. I

came out a changed man too. It all happened that one fateful day during Vocab Quiz 3 in English

Class.

I was looking forward to an average English day, one without stress and anything to

worry about. Being the exemplary student that I am, I walked to my seat and took out my binder

immediately in preparation of class. The bell rang and oscillated through my head, signaling that

it was the time for the class to begin.

“Okay class, it is time to start the quiz. Josh, if I have to ask you to put your binder away

again your score will be an automatic zero,” Mr. Macleod strictly remarked.

This information hit me as if a gigantic wave of water collided into my face. ​How could I

forget, Vocabulary Quiz 3!​“Mr. Macleod, I completely forgot about this. This is not okay.

Please, I will do anything to get out of taking this quiz. Anything,” I pleaded. I was bargaining to

save my life here, struggling to hold onto the ledge that was crumbling as my fingers held on for
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dear life. “Not my issue,” Mr. Macleod responded as he resumed handing out the papers that

were soon to be the death of me.

I received the paper and abruptly turned it over, much to the dismay of Mr. Macleod.

Everything was just going haywire today, all recognition of what I should have been doing was

gone like the wind. As soon as the signal to turn the paper over was made, I was in game mode.

The first aspect of the quiz that I saw was a beautiful, black, outlined box that was going to aid

me in resolving the issue of not having any knowledge of what was going on.

Scanning the page for familiarities, I was greeted with a few words that I had a faint

recognition of. However, three words haunted me during the quiz and continue to haunt me to

this day- satiric, sardonic, and sarcastic. ​They are practically the same word! How was I ever

supposed to decipher the differences between them?

I came up with a simple yet effective plan to conquer the quiz. I was going to flank out

and take over each section in order- definitions, pictures, excerpts, and examples.

My pencil collided with the paper. Looking the quiz over, I picked my first victim-

mocking. I was able to tell from the example that the certain individual was making fun of the

other. In this fashion I had obtained my answer. My pencil approached the paper, preparing to

break in its first marks. These graphite markings were going to give me the gateway to this quiz

and give me the courage to embark on the rest of the quiz. The pencil did its work on the paper

while my mind travelled a million miles a minute, attempting to decipher the remainder of the

quiz.

Nothing could stop me now- I had figured out how to complete the quiz. I just had to

look for context clues like I had learned in class. Objective? An unbiased view. Awe? Solemn
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wonder. I was on a roll, answering questions at an extreme pace as the clock continued to tick.

This was completely irrelevant because I was knocking these measly questions out of the arena.

They all surrendered their meanings except for two persistent, annoying competitors- sarcastic

and sardonic.

The clock continued to tick as my mind frantically raced to figure out what I was going to

do. I racked my mind, searching for tactics that would lead me to defeat my opponent and not

return without anything gained. I reached into the depths of my brain and grasped for knowledge,

any remote thought that was somewhat related. I could have used it at that time. I thought that I

had it figured all out, but I was face to face with two of my biggest mortal enemies. How ironic-

this thought gave me the exact inspiration that I needed! These “sardonic” thoughts gave me the

perfect example to apply to the assessment. Also, by process of elimination I was able to use the

word “sarcastic” for the remaining example. This could not have come at a better time, as time

was terminated as soon as my pencil finished signing off on a surrender by the quiz. It had

succumbed to a greater power than it had ever faced previously. I had obtained a 99% in the

class, but most importantly, I had received the feeling of serenity that I am a critical thinker.

Nothing can fulfill that satisfying feeling. I am almost tempted to not study anymore and

enjoy basking in the knowledge that I am able to figure out anything. I have the ability to defeat

any obstacle that crosses my path. Through this experience I learned that as long as there is a will

there is a way. I also learned that not studying for a quiz can entail much more drama than

previously conceived.