Bea Nicole C.

Rosales Creative Non-Fiction

11 – HUMSS Sister Catherine

Expository Essay

I hear you... I'll listen to you, I'll lend you my ear. Hasn't these phrases what you wanted to hear
from your partner? Especially in times of when you're confused, unsure, and troubled. The times
where you want to just share your thoughts or simply about your day. And hoping continuous
communication will make you understand each other better and bring you closer. Sharing stories
to your partner will make things better even if you've together for a long time.

Everybody should be loved. Everyone needs to experience the feeling of being loved. Knowing
and that there is someone who worries for you, who would like to take care of you. Try to show
your love. Listening can be a way to show your loving care to your loved ones. Be sensitive to
one another. To comply each other’s need of love. Lack of affection and attention becomes one
of the reason why a couples drift apart. Thus resulting to lack of such communication or bond
between them. They won’t get to know what are the things that connected them and what was
keeping the other one interested. Not telling your thoughts to your partner is like struggling all
on your own. You’re only making it hard for you. Being isolated, keeping your distance. No one
to be there for you. “Let the voice in your mind be heard.” Go try to speak, tell him.

Make time. Arrange a schedule. Make an agreement that both of you should meet up at this time
discuss things. To catch up with each others’ life. To bond, to interact. And keep your promise of
allotting a time for each other. Remove any distraction. Turn off the tv, put down your smart
phone, gadgets and sit down together. Enjoy a great meal. Have the wonderful evening to the
both of you. Enjoy each other’s company. Appreciate his/her presence.

Your partner is an attachment figure. He/she is going to be your safe haven. European
Association for Psychotherapy spokesperson, Annette Kreuz Smolinski said, He or she should be
a secure base. That means we have to make space and time to really listen to each other. Over
time, couples take each other for granted. Conversation disappears and the relationship falters.
We start to think that we know what our partner wants to say

Don’t Interupt. Did you ever conclude beforehand, preceding with something without hearing
your partner’s opinion? Don’t lead before, let him tell you. It seems that you’re impatient.
You’re not interested in hearing them out. When your partner asks you to listen, be conscious of
when to speak and what to say. She’s telling you to have someone to depend on. Ask yet pause
to listen, let them speak. With that they will feel more loved and respected.

Just listen. There are times were no scolding, reply or opinion were needed by someone.
Sometimes the mere listening to them helps a lot. They already know what they have done and
what might have gone wrong. They just needed someone to hear them out. To listen to their
complain and reassure them of the future. Refrain from giving advices unless being asked to do
so. They might just need to let it out of their chest. And then come up with a solution after
listening to herself talking.

Respectfully argue. We have our own opinions and we have to express them to each other. In
order for them to understand what we are thinking and feeling about. But we don’t have to
convince and make them agree with us. It’s a difference in views. The couples should approach
the matter calmly and respectful. If not a constructive conversation won’t happen. You’ll only
find yourselves blaming each other for not listening. Clinical psychologist Jette Simon, director
of the Emotionally Focused Therapy Institute in Copenhagen said, talking about your feelings
may help you both to listen more attentively.

Show empathy. Understand his/her situation. Don’t be excited about yours just easily, try to
remember him. Sometimes a emotional understanding is better than a intellectual understanding.
Expressing it physically is far more exhilarating than words. Want to be a better listener? Change
your ways. Use your partner’s advice. He will tell you what are the things you usually do, the
things he hate. And with that change, you’ll get to see things differently. When you’re willing to
change so does your partner will be.