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Stefanie Young

1-14-19

Sawyer doesn't know what our failed attempts really are. I describe sunsets to him as

places where everyone is safe and happy. The sky would always be a perfect mix of oranges,

reds, pinks, and yellows. There would be no holes in the walls of our house, smashed chairs, or

messes from fits of rage. Out of the countless things a normal kid sees, my son sawyer, has

never actually seen a sunset. Neither of us can leave the house much. My husband Mark, doesn't

allow it. Most nights I send sawyer out to his treehouse, when Mark finally falls asleep after the

fits he throws seconds after coming through our front door. The man scares the whole

neighborhood and on the rare occasion I leave the house, people don't know what to do but

observe the life that we show them. They hear how things are behind the closed doors of our run

down, brown wooden house. Mark doesn't like us going outside much because of what the

people around us might say or do, and he makes us keep the curtains closed at night because the

light inside allows the outsiders to see our troubles. This is how I got the idea to describe

sunsets to Sawyer the way that I have. I've tried many times to sneak out with him and take him

to some other place, but Mark is too hard to get past. Each failed attempt adds an obstacle. The

first try Mark blocked off all the doors, the second he put locks on the windows, and the third he

got a guard dog. After a while I gave up, but when he realized I did, he made all the doors

accessible again. The only things stopping us now are the locked windows and the german

shepherd that watches outside. While Mark was gone with his friends today I gave away the

dog. But now when I'm about to get Sawyer to escape, I hear the Rattle of his friend John's old
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Rusty truck and the door slam. I go in Sawyer's room and tell him to get in bed and tell him a

quick story that ends with, “And they rode away to the sunset.” I nervously stand and walk into

the kitchen where with each step I hear the crackling of the old sheet of fake floor tiles that

barely stick to the boards underneath. “You need to stop filling his head with all them stories, he

won't grow up to do anything good.” Mark says as I Walk past him. I let him say it without

arguing anything back and start washing the pile of dishes in the sink. A plan was made incase

Mark got home earlier than we expected so by now Sawyer should be on his way to the

treehouse. When I see the beam of his flashlight through the narrow, cracked window above the

sink I know he made it out. I move to the cabinets in the right corner of the kitchen to distract

Mark from the shaking light outside. Out in the treehouse Sawyer grabs the bags we packed,

and waits for me. I give Mark a plate of mashed potatoes and chicken to keep him distracted

from getting too angry about the end of the story I told Sawyer. After taking only a few bites of

the potatoes he sets his plate on the small shaky table next to his chair and falls asleep where he

sits. I wait a few minutes to be sure he'll stay asleep for long enough then sneak out the back

door. When I get up the ladder to the treehouse I see both our bags and Sawyer laying off to the

side. “Lets go, your Dad is asleep and I think we can make it this time.” I tell him. He gathers

everything he had laid out and climbs down after me. As we walk to the front yard I peek

through windows to keep an eye on Mark incase he wakes up so I can at least give Sawyer a

head start. If he catches us this time I need Sawyer to run and make it out of here, even if I don't

get to go with him. It looks like Mark is in a deep sleep so I stop peeking and we run. We make

it to the subway station and for the first time in so many failed attempts I finally feel like we

made it. Everynight Sawyers bedtime stories are about the place we wish to find. A safe place to
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live happy and normal that's better for us. While sitting on the train on our way to California I

lean my head on the wall behind me and take mental notes of buses to catch and how were

gonna stay safe. I'll change sawyer’s whole name and mine too so we cant be tracked. When we

get off the train and climb the steps up to the street, the sun is beginning to rise and Sawyer

stops when he sees it. The sky is lit with a mix of pinks, oranges, yellows, and reds. Tall

buildings surround us along with crowds of people, but were the only ones to stop in the middle

of this busy city to look up. Sawyer asks if that's the sunset and all I can tell him is how similar

they are, except they aren't exactly the same and by the time we get to California hell see it. We

found a bus stop and wait on the curb for the 312 bus to stop here and pick us up. Our bags are

heavy but we hold them close careful not to lose them. A big white and black bus with a sign

flashing the numbers “312” in orange above the driver comes to a squeaky stop in from of us

and we step on. I give the driver some money and take a seat next to Sawyer who is now wide

awake after sleeping for the whole train ride, but I haven't had any sleep since the night before.

The sky is losing its color and turning into a normal sunny, blue picture. Sawyer makes pictures

out of the few clouds that there are and when he sees one that he thinks looks like a turkey i

realize we need to eat real soon. At the next stop we gather our things and get off the bus. Our

surroundings are small now. The town seems country like and there are just a few small

buildings scattered along the main street. When Sawyer sees Taco Bell he immediately starts

pulling me toward it. I walk heavily behind him holding his hand while he skips to the entrance.

The inside is updated and fancy looking compared to what were use to. The menus flash on and

off of three TV screens above the front counter. Two of them rotate the menus and the third

goes from the whether, to the news, to a menu. Sawyer knows his order before we get there so
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while he tells the cashier I look over the menus. I'm in shock when I see an old picture of

Sawyer in a blue and green plaid button up, and a picture of me in shorts and a purple tank top

from a few years after I had Sawyer. There's a line above our pictures that reads “NOTICE:

Missing mother and son​.​” Below our pictures is our names. I lift Sawyer and run out of the

restaurant and find the bus stop. “Were gonna have to wait a little while to eat.” I tell him as I

sit on the metal bench next to the bus sign. He doesn't say anything, only sits next to me and

puts his head down which gives me a tense feeling. He knows were trying to get away and

understands that it's important we get to where we're going, but no kid should have to go

through this. The bus comes and we get on. Because of the combination of the subway and two

buses were pretty far away now, and after a few hours on this bus we get on a train that goes all

the way to San Francisco. We don't stand out much here. Everyone has luggage and seems like

they are ready to have a long ride. The woman in front of us is in her seat with her head on her

pillow against the window like she puts all her trust in the people around her not to touch her or

any of her things. A business man sits a row to the right of us on his laptop, and a teenage boy

wearing black ripped jeans, white vans, and a gray Nike hoodie on his phone with earbuds in, is

on the other side of me. Sawyer stares at the teenage boy more than anything else, and I don't

notice till I hear him say to my son, “You wanna try this game?” I look at Sawyer and he's

looking at the boy and I look at the boy who is opening a skateboarding app on his phone,

reaching across me and holding it in front of Sawyer. Sawyers face lights up with joy that I

haven't seen in him in a long time. I sit and watch his reaction till the boy asks me to switch

seats with him so that he can play with Sawyer. After watching for about an hour the way that

he in with my son I begin to trust him and shut my eyes for a few minutes. When I wake up
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hours later I realize those few minutes were a lot longer than I thought but I see exactly what I

saw before falling asleep. Sawyer and this teenage boy just sitting here playing games on a

phone, and I'm so thankful for that. Soon the sun is setting and we arrive in San Francisco. The

sky is illuminated with the colors i've described everynight in a bedtime story. The train comes

to a stop in a brick building that the tracks run through above the ground and when go to stand

up, the teeanger stands too, and Sawyer follows along. The teeanager helps us with our bags and

promises to teach Sawyer how to skateboard in real life and that makes him jump with joy. The

teenager turns to me and says, “I hope you got some good sleep and I really would like to teach

him to skate. I had a little brother who died from leukemia a few months ago and your son is a

lot like him.” I thank him and tell him that I'm sorry for his loss. I try walking away without

acknowledging the part about hanging out with my son, but he stops me and says very kindly,

“My name is Hudson. If you need somewhere to go or anything else, give me a call.” He hands

me ripped piece of paper with a number on it, and explains that his father has a house with six

bedrooms and makes sure I know that everyone is welcome. He got on the train the same place

we did. Maybe he saw the news with our pictures saying that were missing, and if he did Im

thankful for helping with Sawyer during the ride and not saying a word about the news. Before

Hudson leaves he gives Sawyer a high five which he has to jump to reach, and flashes me a

smile. I wait a few minutes, gather our bags for the last time, and walk out of the train. As soon

as we exit the building Sawyer finally sees the sunset and he immediately looks up at me and

smiles. We finally got to our “sunset” and life will be so much better. Hudson will get a call

tonight to see if we can stay at his place for a few days and Sawyer will have a happy

childhood. We walk downtown and find a restaurant to sit down and eat. I know we got away
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but that doesnt mean everything instantly changes. Our faces were shown on the news, but I'll

do everything I can to stay here at the perfect place for the sun to set.