My stomach turns upside down as soon as the bus pulls up to the Garinger bus lot.

I see

rows of buses lined up waiting to release their students. At this point all i hear is the noises that

the buses are emitting as they wait idly. Once in a while a kid laughs or says something but other

than that silence. I feel dizzy as I usually do when riding a bus or car but this time it’s different. I

feel dizzy because of how nervous I am, my head is spinning as i wait patiently for the bell to

ring. That bell to me signifies the beginning of hurdles and obstacles that I will now have to face

as a freshman in highschool.

The bell rings and everybody gets up from their seats and waits their turn to get off the

bus. All around me I see the many faces of people I don’t know. After all none of my friends are

going to this school so I’m all alone. To me everybody around me feels like giants. Fierce giants

that I can’t approach because of fear. Throughout that whole day I don’t talk to anybody. Even if

I did talk it is only to ask teachers or administrators where my classes are or to say “here” as the

teacher calls here. At this point my anxiety starts to kick in and I start to get paranoid. In my

head I judge every move I take and question everything I do. I can’t help but think if people are

judging me or laughing at me. Of course this isn’t true but my paranoid head believes that any

laughter is directed to me. Alas fourth block arrives. Once again I sit by myself far away from

everyone. At this point I have determined that I’m going to be all alone for the whole year. I

think to myself, “I’m going to be the weird kid that always sits alone and doesn’t talk to anyone.”

After long consideration I learn to accept this and decide to only focus on school. I repeat to

myself, “Who needs friends anyways.”

I return everyday to school with that same mentality until now, senior year of high

school. Along the way I have met people that have helped me break out of my shell. I met this

people last year but I only consider myself changed this year because even if I made friends last
year, I still wouldn’t be able to do the things I have done this year. Even if it’s just the beginning

of the year I have accomplished more things socially than I ever did in the last three years. Now

it might seem like I’m exaggerating but this is what I believe to be true. I look back to the last

few years and I regret not trying to make friends because that feeling of being alone is quite

possibly one of the worst feelings I have ever experienced.