Relationships Session 4: Consent

School Counselor intern: Kelsey Fischer Date: 8/18/18

Activity: Consent snowball fight, consent chart
Grade(s): High School (11-12th)
WAC Standard(s) Addressed:

Standard 5.C: Counseling Theories and Techniques

ASCA Mindsets & Behaviors (2014) Addressed:

B-SMS 2. Demonstrate self-discipline and self-control

B-SS 5. Demonstrate ethical decision making and social responsibility

Common Core Standards:

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.11-12.1
Initiate and participate effectively in a range of collaborative discussions (one-on-one, in groups, and teacher-
led) with diverse partners on grades 11-12 topics, texts, and issues, building on others' ideas and expressing
their own clearly and persuasively.

Learning Objective(s):
 Students understand what consent means and looks like.
 Students know how to respond if someone they are with does not enthusiastically consent to sexual
activity.
 Students know about resources in the community that support survivors of sexual abuse or assault.
Materials:
1. Loose leaf paper for students (1 per student)
2. Brochures for sexual abuse or assault agency (1 per student, plus extras)
3. Session Evaluations
Lesson Outline/Procedure: Include each of your learning activities
1. Introduce myself as the school counselor again. Review briefly the previous lesson on sexting and how
technology can negatively impact relationships. Let students know that we will be talking about sex and
consent today, and if they feel uncomfortable at any time, they can take a break and leave the room with
the permission of the teacher.
2. Start by asking students to write down their definition of “consent.” Have them crumple the paper into a
ball. Then, give students one minute to have a “snowball fight” by throwing their ball of paper and
continuing to pick up and throw others’ papers. Maintain that students should not throw the paper at
 each other. After a minute, tell students to pick up one snowball close to them and read it. Have a
handful of students read out loud. Affirm correct or close definitions.
3. Share the dictionary definition of consent out loud and written on the board. “Consent is permission for
something to happen or agreement to do something.” Ask students to pair and share what they think
they need to ask their friends and partners consent for. After two minutes, have a couple students share
out loud. Let students know that consent is crucial in all kinds of relationships, especially regarding
physical contact. Often it is important to ask for consent for even something simple like a hug, because
people have different comfort levels with physical touch.
4. Let students know that now you will be talking specifically about consent regarding sexual activity. Ask
a student to be the “scribe” and write on the board under three columns: “Wants to,” “Does not want to,”
and “Is not sure.” Ask students to share out examples of how you know if someone wants to, does not
want to, or is not sure if they want to have sex or engage in any sexual activity. (See attached example
chart for reference.)
5. Let students know that legally, consent during sexual activity has to be giving a “yes” to do something.
Not saying anything is not consent. Saying “no” nine times but being convinced to say “yes” the tenth
time is not consent. Consent should always be an ENTHUSIASTIC yes. Moving forward with any kind
of sexual activity without consent is considered sexual assault or abuse and it is not ok.
6. Ask students to share out how they could respond if their partner seems to be unsure if they want to
engage in a sexual act. Encourage examples like: respect their boundaries, stop, go do something
different together, ask if they want to talk, reassure them that it’s ok.
7. End by handing out brochures on resources in the area that support students who have experienced any
kind of sexual assault or abuse. An example is Rebuilding Hope, the Sexual Assault Center of Pierce
County. Let students know that they can also come and talk to me as the school counselor.
8. Hand out session evaluation (attached) and collect after session.

Plan for Evaluation: How will each of the following be collected?

Process Data:
I will record attendance, date, classroom teacher, and length of session.
Perception Data:
Students complete the retrospective pre/post session evaluation to see if learning increased from before and
after the session.
Outcome Data:
I can examine incidents of relationship violence or abuse reported at the school and see if there is a change from
before to after the unit on relationships.
Plan for Next Lesson/ Follow Up: Ask students to keep track of how many times they ask for consent with
partners and friends for any kind of physical contact. Encourage them to practice even with small things like
hugs.

 City University of Seattle – Guidance & Counseling Program

ASCA (2012) template modified for internship; revised 4/15 with ASCA Mindsets & Behaviors

During sexual activity, how do you know if someone…
Wants to be there
- Kisses you back
- Says YES when you ask
them
- Does not hesitate
- Body language is
comfortable
- They seem happy and
into you
Consent
Does not want to be there
- Says NO
- Isn’t kissing back
- Pulls away from you
- Gives reasons to leave
- Seems stiff and
uncomfortable
Is not sure if they want to be there
- Says yes but hesitates
- Doesn’t say anything
- Seems uncomfortable
most of the time
- Avoids eye contact
- Pulls away
- Gives mixed signals
 Session 4 Evaluation: Consent

Questions Before the session: After the session:

(circle one) (circle one)
I know the definition of consent. Yes Yes
No No
I’m not sure I’m not sure
I can name signs that someone wants to, does not want to, and Yes Yes
is not sure if they want to engage in sexual activity. No No
I’m not sure I’m not sure
I know healthy ways to respond if someone is not sure or does Yes Yes
not want to engage in sexual activity. No No
I’m not sure I’m not sure
I know where I could go or tell a friend to go if they have Yes Yes
experienced sexual assault or abuse. No No
I’m not sure I’m not sure
I would like to talk about this more with my school counselor.
If yes, write your name: _______________________________ Yes
Your school counselor will reach out to you by the end of the
day. If it is an emergency, please see your counselor or No
someone else sooner to talk.