CHARACTERS (in order of appearance/spoken text)

NARRATOR/CHESHIRE CAT
ALICE
DOOR #2 Milo
DOOR #3 Alex
DOOR #1 Maggie
TABLE

ACT 1 – SCENE 3: “ROOM OF DOORS”

DARK STAGE – DOORS AND TABLE ARE SET.

Projection image of CHESHIRE CAT. Actor playing CHESHIRE CAT is off stage – the
following narration is spoken into the theatre microphone.

ALTERNATE

NARRATOR/CHESHIRE CAT enters stage - spotlight on NARRATOR/CHESHIRE CAT

NARRATOR/CHESHIRE CAT
Alice was not a bit hurt, and she jumped up on to her feet in a moment: she looked
up, but it was dark overhead: before her was another long passage, and the White
Rabbit was still in sight, hurrying down it. There was not a moment to be lost: off
went Alice like the wind after the White Rabbit. She caught up just in time to see the
White Rabbit exit through the middle door.

Projection down/ ALTERNATIVE: NARRATOR/CHESHIRE CAT exits – spot down.

Lights up on DOORS and TABLE.

ALICE calling as she runs onto stage

Oh, Mr. Rabbit, please wait…oh, I’m too late. (pause – notices her surroundings)
Oh, dear! What a strange room. The Rabbit went through this door…I must follow
him! (Alice tries DOOR #2 )
DOOR #2
Locked. I’m locked. Can’t let you pass.

DOOR #3
Ahh Chooo….

DOOR #1 & 2 (in unison)

Bless you!

DOOR #3
Thank you (to fellow DOORS #1&2)

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 DOOR #3 CONT
(To ALICE)…. Sorry. So sorry. You’ve got to know the secret.

DOOR #1
Yes, Misseee! That’s the key!

DOOR #3
(To DOOR #1) Very well spoken!

DOOR #2
Oh, I concur. Very nicely worded.

DOOR #1
Why, thank you both. You are far too kind.

ALICE
Could one of you please tell me how I might get through to….

DOOR #2
That would be a negative.

DOOR #3
It’s against Union Policy.

DOOR #1
What are you new?! (DOORS grumble ad-libs) Why doesn’t anyone know union
policy?.... Jeezz young people today…..

TABLE
(Calls to ALICE above grumbles coming from the DOORS)
Please pardon me, Come and see! I am a little table and on top of me is a key!

The grumbling DOORS become silent and quickly turn their heads in unison towards
the key on the table.

ALL DOORS
(in unison) Huh?!

ALICE
Thank you for your generosity little table.

ALICE heads for DOOR #2 with key in hand.

TABLE
Oh, you’re welcome. It’s nothing really, just doing my job.

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ALICE tries the key in the lock.

DOOR #2
Ouch! Hey, you’re scratching my lock!

DOOR #3
File a complaint!!

DOOR #1
Call the Shop Steward!!

ALICE
How curious. The lock is either too small, or the key too large. What about the
window? (ALICE kneels down at DOOR #2 and looks through the window).
What a lovely garden! Oh, I do so want to smell the flowers.
(ALICE tries to squeeze through the window).
Oh! I won’t fit. The window is too tiny.

All DOORS (chanting in unison- HIP HOP style & moves)

It’s too small, you’re too tall, it’s too small, you’re too tall……

ALICE
Oh, how I wish I could shut up like a telescope!

TABLE
Excuse me…but look and see…

ALL DOORS
Huh?! …Now what?... Here we go again…(ad libs)

ALICE goes to the TABLE

TABLE
On top of me is a bottle and the bottle has a label that says, “Drink Me”!

DOOR #1
Hey!!! No Fair!!

DOOR #3
What do you think you’re doing!

DOOR #2
I want your supervisors number, Mrs./Mr. 4 Legs!

Meanwhile, ALICE has put the key on the table and picked up the bottle - is about to
drink when she stops.

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 ALICE (checking the bottle)
No, I’ll look first and see whether it’s marked poison or not. I’ve heard that if you
drink much from a bottle marked poison, it’s almost certain to disagree with you
…sooner or later. All clear! Good!

ALICE takes a long drink. TABLE and DOORS grow. ALICE SHRINKS.
DOORS react to ‘their growth spurt’

DOOR #1 DOOR #2 DOOR #3 TABLE

Owww It tickles, It tickles I feel so …. Funky Wheeee

ALICE
(As she shrinks) What a curious feeling….. I must be shutting up like a telescope!
(Realizing she forgot the key on the table) Oh no! I forgot the key!

ALICE sits down and bursts into tears…

DOOR #1
(to TABLE) Oh now, look what you’ve done. This is all your fault …always trying to
be helpful.

DOOR #3
Do something will you? I can’t stand to see someone cry! (starts crying)

DOOR #2
Hurry up before he warps his frame!!

TABLE
(to the DOORS) Oh quit your squeaking!
(to ALICE) Yoohoo! Look and see! I’m a really big table with a box beneath me. On
the box is a label that says, “Eat Me”!

ALICE
(rising and wiping her tears) That is certainly is helpful table. (she looks under the
table) Look here it is! And there is a sign that says, “Eat Me”.

ALICE opens the box

ALICE CONT
Inside is a very small cake.

TABLE
Carrot cake – very healthy.

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 ALICE
Well, I’ll eat it, and if it makes me grow larger then I can reach the key, and if it
makes me grow smaller, I can fit under the door, either way I’ll get into the garden!
(aside to audience) Knock on wood.

ALICE begins to eat the cake.

ALL DOORS (in reaction to the first bite)

Oh no you don’t!

Alice eats cake. DOORS and TABLE shrink. ALICE GROWS.

DOOR #1 DOOR #2 DOOR #3 TABLE

Not again! It tickles, tee hee Oh, my… AW shucks

ALICE
That was a little too much.

ALL DOORS
Yah, you think?!

ALICE
How puzzling these changes are. I’m never sure what I’m going to be from one
moment to another. I’ve got to get to my right size.

ALL DOORS
Make up your mind!

ALICE takes a drink from the bottle. DOORS and TABLE return to normal position.
ALICE EVENS OUT AGAIN.

DOOR #1 DOOR #2 DOOR#3 TABLE

Not again! It tickles, tee hee Oh, my… AW shucks

ALICE
The next thing is, to get into that beautiful garden!

DOOR #2
Help! Help me! Don’t let her near me!!

DOOR #3
Just let her through.

DOOR #1
Yes, haven’t we suffered enough! Let her pass…

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 DOOR #1 & DOOR #3
(in unison)
Let her pass!

DOOR #2 (to ALICE)

All right! You win. Just keep this quiet. We don’t want a riotous throng rushing us.
Promise you’ll be discreet.

ALICE
Oh, I promise. Well, here I go…..(ad lib as ALICE exits stage – Oh, my what a beautiful
garden…the flowers…trees….and a fountain!!)

Lights go down on the DOORS and TABLE as they talk amongst themselves –
mutterings are heard as the lights dim and finally go to black.

Dialogue ad libs – “glad that is done” – “too much up and down for me”— “who’s going
to write the report?” “I’m going to need some WD40.” (….etc.)

B.O. SCENE CHANGE

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