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 Happy
Days
A New Musical
Book by Music & Lyrics
Garry Marshall by Paul Williams

Based on the Paramount Pictures Television Series

“Happy Days” created by Garry Marshall

Arrangements and Orchestrations

by John McDaniel

A Samuel French Acting Edition

samuelfrench.com
 Copyright © 2010 by CBS Studios, Inc.
Happy Days Artwork Copyright © 2010
Henderson Production Co., Inc.
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

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Copying from this book in whole or in part is strictly forbidden by
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ISBN 978-0-573-69829-3 Printed in U.S.A. #29294

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IMPORTANT BILLING AND CREDIT

REQUIREMENTS
All Producers of HAPPY DAYS - A NEW MUSICAL, must give credit to the
Author and Composer of the Play in all programs distributed in connec-
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and Composer must appear side by side on a separate line on which no
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Series Created by Garry Marshall” contractually must appear below the
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In addition the following credit must be given on all title pages in all
programs:

HAPPY DAYS (100%)

A NEW MUSICAL
Book by Music & Lyrics by
Garry Marshall Paul Williams (50%)
Based on the Paramount Pictures television series “Happy Days”
Created by Garry Marshall
*Arrangements and Orchestrations by
John McDaniel (25%)
Originally produced at the Falcon Theatre, Burbank, CA
Produced and Directed by Garry Marshall
Ronny Hallin, Producer Kathleen Ward Marshall, Producer
Subsequently Produced for the Goodspeed Opera House
by Michael P. Price, Executive Producer
Subsequently Produced by Paper Mill Playhouse, Millburn, New Jersey
Subsequently Produced for the North American National Tour
by Bob Boyett, Nice Productions, Inc., McCoy Rigby Entertainment
CBS Corporation, Tom Miller and La Mirada Theatre
for the Performing Arts.

Happy Days song courtesy of CBS Studios, Inc., Lyrics by Norman Gimbel,
Music by Charles Fox.

*Please note this credit must appear in the same size as the production design
credits are listed (set, costume, lighting designers, etc.).
The premiere of the first National Tour of HAPPY DAYS - A NEW
MUSICAL was at the La Mirada Theater for the Performing Arts in La
Mirada, California on November 1, 2008. The performance was directed
by Gordon Greenberg, with music direction by Bruce Barnes and cho-
reography by Michele Lynch, with sets by Walt Spangler, costumes by
David C. Woolard, lighting by Jeff Croiter, sound by Julie Ferrin, and
hair/wigs/makeup by Judi Lewin. The production stage manager was
Lynda A. Lavin. The cast was as follows:

ARTHUR “THE FONZ” FONZARELLI . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joey Sorge

RICHIE CUNNINGHAM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Steven Booth
MARION CUNNINGHAM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Cynthia Ferrer
HOWARD CUNNINGHAM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . John Massey
JOANIE CUNNINGHAM . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Whitney Bashor
WARREN “POTSIE” WEBBER . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Justin Michael Duval
RALPH MALPH . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . James Michael Lambert
CHARLES “CHACHI” ARCOLA. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Chris Fore
PINKY TUSCADERO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Felicia Finley
ARNOLD DELVECCHIO . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Barry Pearl
LORI BETH ALLEN/CALENDAR GIRL . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Molly Alvarez
BULLY/LEOPARD MANNY MOON/
MYRON “COUNT” MALACHI/ELVIS . . . . . . . . . . . . . Matt Merchant
LEOPARD MAC GATES/JUMPY MALACHI/JAMES DEAN . . . . .Matt Walker
PINKETTE LOLA/CAR HOP/
CALENDAR GIRL/ENSEMBLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Leah Sprecher
PINKETTE TINA/CAR HOP/
CALENDAR GIRL/ENSEMBLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Gabrielle Reid
ENSEMBLE/NERD GIRL. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jill Morrison
ENSEMBLE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Joseph Keane
SWING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jaclyn Miller
SWING . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jeff Summer
 CHARACTERS
ARTHUR “THE FONZ” FONZARELLI - The king of cool, sexy, funny and
loaded with charisma, older than the other kids. In his late teens or
early 20’s. He wears jeans, white t-shirt, and black leather jacket and
motorcycle boots at all times except when he works in the garage
where he wears mechanics coveralls.
RICHIE CUNNINGHAM - High school student, Fonzie’s best friend, all
American, honest, reliable.
PINKY TUSCADERO - Fonzie’s love interest, sexy, confident, tough and a
body to die for. Motorcycle daredevil. Same age as Fonzie.
HOWARD CUNNINGHAM - Richie’s dad, the quintessential mid-western
head of household. A man in his 40’s.
MARION CUNNINGHAM - Richie’s mom, warm, naïve and wise. In her 40’s.
JOANIE CUNNINGHAM - Richie’s younger sister, 15-16 years old, lovable,
precocious and has a big crush on Chachi
CHARLES “CHACHI” ARCOLA - Fonzie’s cousin who tries to be just like
him. Probably 15 or 16. Likes Joanie.
RALPH MALPH - High school buddy of Richie’s. He is the class clown.
WARREN “POTSIE”WEBBER - High school buddy of Richie’s, not very
cool but tries hard to be. He is a bit of a nerd.
BULLY/LEOPARD MANNY MOON/MYRON “COUNT” MALACHI/ELVIS -
BULLY - big tough guy
LEOPARD MANNY MOON - Howard’s Leopard Lodge brother and
principal of the High School
MYRON “COUNT” MALACHI - ½ of Malachi brothers, Fonzie’s nem-
esis, greaser type, overly dramatic, in his 20’s
ELVIS - Elvis Presley circa late ‘50’s
LEOPARD MAC GATES/JUMPY MALACHI/JAMES DEAN -
LEOPARD MAC GATES - Howard’s Leopard Lodge brother
JUMPY MALACHI - Other ½ of the Malachi brothers, filled with ner-
vous energy, greaser type, in his 20’s
JAMES DEAN - the 1950’s movie icon
ARNOLD DELVECCHIO - A man in his 50’s, owner of Arnold’s malt shop,
member of the Leopard Lodge
LORI BETH ALLEN/CALENDAR GIRL - Sweet, lovely, “girl next door”
type. Richie’s girlfriend, high school student
PINKETTE LOLA/ CAR HOP GIRL/CALENDAR GIRL/ENSEMBLE - hot
looking dancer/singer
PINKETTE TINA/CAR HOP GIRL/CALENDAR GIRL/ENSEMBLE - hot
looking dancer/singer
ENSEMBLE GIRL/CALENDAR GIRL/NERD GIRL - dancer/singer
ENSEMBLE BOY - dancer/singer

Doubled roles can be given to individual actors for larger casts or can be
doubled in any way that is convenient to the production. This is the way
roles were played on tour.
 SCENES AND MUSICAL NUMBERS
Milwaukee, Wisconsin-1959
ACT I
Scene 1, A Milwaukee Street & Arnold’s
“Welcome to Wisconsin” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Company
“Snap” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Fonzie & Car Hops
Scene 2, Cunningham Back Yard
“The Thing About Girls” . . . . . . . . . . . . . Richie, Chachi, Potsie, Ralph
“Romeo Midnight” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Dial-Tones
“Oooooh Bop” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fonzie & The Dial-Tones
Scene 3, The Leopard Lodge
“Leopards Are We” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Howard & The Leopards
“The Plaque” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Howard & The Leopards
Scene 4, Arnold’s
“The Pink’s in Town”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pinky & The Pinkettes
“Malachi’s” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jumpy & Count Malachi
Scene 5, Bronko’s Garage
“Heartbeat” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Fonzie & Chachi
“The Famous Bronze” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Howard
Scene 6, The Cunningham’s House
“What I Dreamed Last Night”. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Marion & Joanie
Scene 7, Arnold’s
“Message in the Music” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Pinky & Company
“Maybe It’s Time to Move On” . . . Fonzie, The Dial-Tones & Company
ACT II
Scene 1, Arnold’s & the Road
“Run” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Richie, Chachi, Potsie, Ralph
“Legend in Leather” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Pinky
“Aaay’mless” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Fonzie, Pinky, Car Hops
Scene 2, Arnold’s
“Malachi’s” (Reprise) . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Jumpy & Count Malachi
Scene 3, The Cunningham’s House
“What I Dreamed Last Night” (Reprise) . . . . . Pinky, Marion, & Joanie
Scene 4, Cunningham Back yard
“Guys Like Us” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .. Fonzie & The Guys
Scene 5, Pfister Park
“Hot Love” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . The Dial-Tones
“Dancing on the Moon” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Fonzie & Pinky
“Ordinary Hero” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Company
Scene 6, Jefferson High Prom
“Finale” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Company
 ACT ONE

Scene One

(MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN – 1959)

(An illusion of a suburban Milwaukee street-morning.
RICHIE CUNNINGHAM enters on a bicycle with a radio
in the basket.)
(Music slowly starts with the first part of Happy Days.)
VOICES. (offstage) SUNDAY, MONDAY, HAPPY DAYS
TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY, HAPPY DAYS
THURSDAY, FRIDAY, HAPPY DAYS
SATURDAY, WHAT A DAY
GROOVIN’ ALL WEEK WITH YOU
RICHIE. (V.O.) (listening to himself on the radio, announcing his
high school baseball game, over above lyrics) It’s a ground
ball to short, Malph over to Webber for one…oh,
Potsie throws wide to first base, but Chachi comes off
the bag to make the tag, double play. Jefferson wins.
This is Richie Cunningham with the highlights of this
weeks 1959 City Championships of Milwaukee.
(RICHIE turns off radio with a smile.)
(to audience) Yeah, that was me, Richie Cunningham,
working at the local radio station…but now I’ve got
bigger fish to fry.
(Music starts.)
I’m graduating high school and I’m blowing this pop
stand to go see the world…but at the moment, this is
my world. And when I want to know what’s happening
around here, I know just where to go. London has the
BBC, New York has the Times, and we have Arnold’s.

9
10 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L

(Arnold’s Malt Shop appears as CAST comes out and

sings as RICHIE moves his bicycle offstage.)
(In Arnold’s there is a jukebox on one side and a large
poster size photo of FONZIE on the other side wall. There
are only two booths.)
“WELCOME TO WISCONSIN”
ALL EXCEPT FONZIE.
SOCK HOP, SODA POP, MEETING AT THE MALT SHOP…
PART OF GROWING UP AROUND HERE
WELCOME TO WISCONSIN
MAKE YOURSELF TO HOME
(ARNOLD comes by wearing his white apron and hat.)
RICHIE. Hi, Arnold. Malted with two straws.
ARNOLD. You got it, Rich!
(RICHIE puts his arm around LORI BETH and then goes
to guys.)
ENSEMBLE.
DUCKTAILS, TUCK AND ROLL, LEARNING HOW TO DO THE
STROLL
GORGEOUS UNDER ALL THOSE CLOTHES
HEAVEN’S IN WISCONSIN
MAKE YOURSELF TO HOME
POTSIE. Hey, Richie!
RALPH. We missed you at rehearsal yesterday.
RICHIE. (to audience) These are my friends, Ralph and Potsie.
CHACHI. I cut shop class to rehearse.
RICHIE. And that’s Chachi. We have a singing group, the
“Dial-Tones.”
DIAL TONES.
OOH, OOH, OOH, OOH, WAH
(RICHIE points. JOANIE is twirling a baton. She throws
it and misses it.)
RICHIE. And this is my perfect mom, perfect dad and not
yet perfect sister.
(HOWARD, MARION and JOANIE are arguing.)
 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L 11

JOANIE. But you wouldn’t have to drive me to baton twirl-

ing lessons if I had a car.
HOWARD. Who can afford it with gas prices skyrocketing?
MARION. Oh, honey, I’m sure prices can’t get any higher
than twelve cents a gallon.
(JOANIE stomps to a corner to sulk.)
RICHIE.
I RICHIE CUNNINGHAM
WILL DOCUMENT THESE DAYS
OF HULA HOOPS AND POODLE SKIRTS
THE LATEST TV CRAZE
I’LL WRITE OF OLD MILWAUKEE
AND I’LL ALWAYS WRITE THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS FROZEN
CITY
WHERE I SHIVERED THROUGH MY YOUTH
I’M OFF TO TELL THE WORLD
THE STORIES THAT ARE MINE
THE LAUGHTER AND THE LEGENDS OF
THE CLASS OF ’59
I’LL WRITE OF INSPIRATION POINT
AND LOVES THAT NEVER END
I’LL WRITE ABOUT OUR HERO AND PROTECTOR
MY BEST FRIEND
FONZARELLI
ALL.
ARTHUR FONZARELLI
GIRLS.
THE DREAMIEST, SCREAMIEST
ALL.
THE FONZ
(Suddenly out of the crowd, FONZIE emerges.)
FONZIE. Aaaay!
ALL. (They rush towards him and clap happily) Fonzie!
FONZIE. Whoa!
(There is a general hubbub around FONZIE, after a beat,
he snaps his fingers and everybody stops. He turns to
RICHIE.)
12 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L

FONZIE. (cont.) Anybody in my office, Red?

RICHIE. No, Fonz. The men’s room is empty.
FONZIE. Good. There’s a chick’s phone number I wrote on
the wall that’s in need of a loving call.
RICHIE.
EVERY STORY’S GOTTA HAVE A HERO
NOTHING MORE IMPORTANT TO THE PLOT
WELL HE’S GOTTA HAVE COURAGE
AND HE’S GOTTA BE STRONG
(FONZIE exits offstage towards the bathroom.)
GIRLS.
THE ONE WORD DESCRIPTION IS HOT, HOT
HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT
(Suddenly, a tough-looking BULLY type enters, pushing
RALPH into the booth knocking over cups.)
BULLY. (shouts) Hey! Outta my way dorks and dorkettes. I’m
hungry.
RICHIE. Lori Beth, he looks familiar.
LORI BETH. (to RICHIE, spraying spit on his shirt) It’s that big
bad bully, Sam Cicero, from the South side of Syca-
more Street.
BULLY. (to LORI BETH) Who are you?
RICHIE. My girlfriend, Lori Beth.
BULLY. (to RICHIE) What are you looking at?
RICHIE. Your tattoo! I never saw the word “Mother” spelled
with a “U.”
(CROWD laughs then BULLY grabs RICHIE’s arm.)
BULLY. You making fun of my arm? I’m going to twist yours
off.
LORI BETH & ALL. (ad lib) Don’t hurt Richie.
(As BULLY twists RICHIE’s arm, FONZIE re-enters from
bathroom. He snaps and everyone stops!)
FONZIE. Am I interrupting something?
BULLY. (holding RICHIE’s arm) Oh, hey Fonz, I was just
admiring his wrist watch.
 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L 13

(RICHIE pulls his wrist away from BULLY.)

RALPH. (telling truth) No he wasn’t, Fonzie. He was twisting
Richie’s arm and he pushed me so hard a straw went
up my nose and I spilled my –
(FONZIE snaps fingers and RALPH stops talking.)
FONZIE. Hey Red. You alright?
RICHIE. I think so.
BULLY. You stoolie!
(BULLY goes to grab RALPH but, FONZIE suddenly grabs
the BULLY’s throat.)
FONZIE. I’m just admiring your Adam’s Apple. And if I
ever see you around here again, I’ll peel it, slice it and
squeeze it for juice!
(FONZIE shows BULLY out and exits with him.)
RICHIE.
FRIDAY NIGHT AND ALL IS RIGHT
FOR TEENS AND DREAMERS
LUCKY STARS AND SPUTNIK UP ABOVE
FONZ AND ELVIS PUTTING UP WITH
FANS AND SCREAMERS
FRIDAY NIGHT’S THE NIGHT THEY FALL IN LOVE
EVERYONE ELSE.
WOOOO AYI YAI YAI YAI
WOOOO AYI YAI YAI WAH
RICHIE.
LOOK AT MY FRIENDS, THEY’RE A NOISY BUNCH
BUT, GOOD GUYS, ROCKING DOLLS
TYPICAL TEENS FROM HOMETOWN U.S.A…
THEY’RE RAISED ON WHITE BREAD AND APPLE PIE
THEY’RE NOT ALL CHAMPIONS BUT THEY ALWAYS TRY
AND THEY LOOK TO FONZ FOR ANSWERS
TO THE PROBLEMS OF THE DAY
AND THEY TREAT HIM LIKE A HERO, YES
IT’LL ALWAYS BE THAT WAY
 14 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L

KIDS. RICHIE.
SOCK HOP, SODA POP, MEETING I, RICHIE CUNNINGHAM,
AT THE MALT SHOP
PART OF GROWING UP AROUND WILL DOCUMENT THESE DAYS
HERE
WELCOME TO WISCONSIN OF HULA HOOPS AND POODLE SKIRTS
MAKE YOURSELF TO HOME THE LATEST TV CRAZE
LET’S ALL GO AND
KIDS. RICHIE. ARNOLD.
DUCKTAILS, TUCK AND I, RICHIE YOU’RE FAMILY AT
ROLL, CUNNINGHAM, ARNOLD’S
LEARNING HOW TO DO
THE STROLL WILL FIGHT THE
GORGEOUS UNDER ALL GOOD FIGHT
THOSE CLOTHES
WELCOME TO WISCONSIN RAISE JOURNALISTIC
MAKE YOURSELF TO HOME STANDARDS WELCOME AT
TO THEIR HIGHEST ARNOLD’S
SOCK HOP, SODA POP, HEIGHTS
MEETING AT THE MALT
SHOP SUNDAY, MONDAY, AHHH CUNNINGHAMS.
LISTEN THAT’S LOVE ON HAPPY DAYS SUNDAY,
THE RADIO LIFE AT ITS BEST AHHH MONDAY,
A SINGING DESCRIPTION OUR HAPPY DAYS HAPPY DAYS
OF THE WORLD WE AHHH LIFE AT ITS BEST
KNOW I’LL EMULATE MY OUR HAPPY
OUR SONG, YOURS AND HERO DAYS
MINE I’LL WRITE OF OLD THURSDAY,
JEFFERSON HIGH SCHOOL MILWAUKEE FRIDAY,
CLASS OF 1959 ABOUT THE MAGIC HAPPY DAYS
CITY THURSDAY, FRIDAY, IN THE HEART
BUT WE LOVE A SOCK HOP HAPPY DAYS OF OLD
MEETING AT THE MALT AND THE IN THE HEART MILWAUKEE
SHOP BRILLIANCE OF OLD
DRINKING LOTS OF SODA MILWAUKEE
POP OF
WE DANCE ALL NIGHT YOU’RE WELCOME ALWAYS
UNTIL WE DROP AND HER AT ARNOLD’S
YOU’RE FAMILY BE
YOUTH AT ARNOLD’S
THAT
 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L 15

KIDS. EVERYONE ELSE.

SOCK HOP, SODA POP, MEETING THESE DAYS ARE OURS
AT THE MALT SHOP,
PART OF GROWIN’ UP AROUND HAPPY AND FREE
HERE. OH BABY
WELCOME TO WISCONSIN. THESE HAPPY DAYS ARE YOURS AND MINE
MAKE YOURSELF TO HOME THESE HAPPY DAYS ARE YOURS AND MINE
THESE HAPPY DAYS ARE YOURS
AND MINE
(FONZIE enters and snaps fingers! Everything stops!
Girls run to FONZIE. All finish song together.)
ALL.
MY HAPPY DAYS!
ARNOLD. Alright…I’m closing up early tonight, kids.
CROWD. Awww!
ARNOLD. No awwws! Let’s vamoose.
RICHIE. That’s O.K. I’m going to study with Lori Beth…at
Inspiration Point.
FONZIE. (quickly) Way to go Cunningham, but be gone by
6:00. I got a date with a girl from Green Bay who is
Vince Lombardi’s niece.
(ARNOLD moans.)
Why is Arnold is making that weird noise.
(ARNOLD moans again.)
Maybe he ate his own chili dog.
RICHIE. Arnold, what’s wrong?
ARNOLD. I’m done. I’m finished.
RICHIE. What do you mean?
ARNOLD. This big construction company, Wells, Winter and
Wacker. They bought the land Arnold’s is on. They’re
gonna make it into a parking lot and something called
a “mall.”
RICHIE. That is unthinkable, unforgivable…
FONZIE. And unlikely. Arnold’s is a part of our town, like
Pfister Park, Shotz Brewery, and Cunningham Hard-
ware. I met you right there. (point to stage left booth)
16 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L

RICHIE. I remember…I was thirteen and you stole my

lunch.
FONZIE. Yeah, and you didn’t tell nobody. That’s how I
knew you were ok. And Arnold’s has always been here.
The city fathers will say ixnay, mayday, no way, José.
ARNOLD. Wrong, Fonz.
FONZIE. What? I’m never wrroo – The Fonz is never wrroo –
ARNOLD. Still can’t say the word “Wrong.”
RICHIE. I know, he never could. But is there anything we
can do about Wells, Winter and Wacker?
ARNOLD. Help me raise money to outbid them.
FONZIE. Hey, I’m on it.
ARNOLD. I gotta go close up. Tomorrow morning I’m meet-
ing this guy who wants me to go into the restaurant
business with him. His name is Denny something.
(ARNOLD leaves.)
RICHIE. Gosh darn it. There goes any studying tonight. I
won’t be able to focus. I’ll be worrying about Arnold’s.
Maybe I’ll talk to my dad.
FONZIE. No, I’ll handle it. You go do your homework. I’ve
got a million ideas.
RICHIE. What kind of ideas?
FONZIE. (yells) Go!
(RICHIE exits.)
I got no ideas…but I will. They expect it from the Fonz.
(We transition to exterior Arnolds parking lot where
lights are overhead.)
“SNAP”
FONZIE.
I WALK BY A MIRROR
IT SINGS OUT TO ME
SAYS ‘HELLO BOY, YOU’RE GAZING AT PERFECTION’
LOOKING LIKE A HERO
EVERY HAIR IN PLACE
I’M BUILT FOR SPEED AND PASSIONATE INSPECTION
 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L 17

I WAS A CHILD OF THE STREETS

THE SCHOOL OF HARD KNOCKS
WAS MY ONLY SCHOOL
TOUGH SLICE OF LIFE ON MY PLATE
BUT, I’M MASTER OF MY FATE
I GOT A BLACK BELT IN COOL
(Two GIRLS in carhop outfits enter and sing with him.
Optional- the carhops can be on roller skates.)
FONZIE. (cont.)
YOU JUST SNAP YOUR FINGERS
AND THE SUN BREAKS THROUGH THE GREY CLOUDS
SNAP YOUR FINGERS AND THE MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY
CROWDS GATHER ALL AROUND ME
CENTER STAGE WHERE I BELONG
GIRLS.
IF LOVE’S A DANCE THEN
FONZIE IS OUR SONG
GIRLS. FONZIE.
SINGING WHEN THERE’S TROUBLE ALL
AYI AROUND ME
AYI AYI AND THERE’S PROBLEMS TO BE
AYI SOLVED
AYI AYI AYI AYI WITHOUT ME THE WORLD WOULD
AYI WONDER
AYI AYI WHICH DIRECTION IT REVOLVED
AYI
GIRLS.
AND HE DOES IT WITH A SNAP
(ARNOLD crosses.)
ARNOLD. Night, Fonz. Forget about me. It’s not your prob-
lem.
(Light flickers on ARNOLD sign above.)
I gotta fix that light!
18 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L

(He exits. FONZIE snaps and the light comes back on.)
FONZIE.
NEVER COULD EXPLAIN IT
I’VE ALWAYS HAD THIS GIFT
BROKEN ENGINES START TO PURR BENEATH MY FINGERS
GIRLS.
WHEN IT COMES TO PURRING
FONZIE HAS THE TOUCH
AND HIS KILLER KISSES CAST A SPELL THAT LINGERS
FONZIE.
I WALK ALONE IT’S BY CHOICE
AIN’T NO ‘LONELY’ IN MY VOICE
SO DON’T SPRING THAT TENDER TRAP
CHRISTMAS ALONE I DO FINE
DON’T NEED NO VALENTINE
SOLITARY IS A SNAP!
GIRLS & FONZIE.
AND HE DOES IT WITH A SNAP
HE DOES IT WITH AN “AAAY”
HE DOES IT WITH A “WHOA”
HE DOES IT WITH A SNAP
YEAH HE DOES IT WITH A…
YEAH HE DOES IT WITH A…
YEAH HE DOES IT WITH A…
(Lights out on ARNOLD’s sign.)
 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L 19

Scene Two

(EXTERIOR CUNNINGHAM HOUSE – MORNING)

(On the Cunningham back steps, leading up to Fonzie’s
apartment above the Cunningham garage. There is a
wooden sign pointing up the steps saying “The Fonz.”
The Cunninghams’ trash cans are beside the steps.
RICHIE is talking to LORI BETH near the steps.)
LORI BETH. I just wanted you to know another couple,
Trixie Futterman and Skinny Minota, are getting
engaged before they go off to college.
RICHIE. Don’t you think that’s rushing things, Lori Beth?
LORI BETH. Even Ella Figgs has a ring.
RICHIE. Ella Figgs? Doesn’t she have a reputation?
LORI BETH. What do you mean? She is as pure as snow.
RICHIE. I heard she drifted.
LORI BETH. (scolding) Richard…
RICHIE. I’ll see you at the test. I gotta meet the guys for a
quick rehearsal.
(He kisses her goodbye. LORI BETH goes off. FONZIE
comes down steps. He has a wrench in his hand to work
on his motorcycle that is in the driveway.)
FONZIE. Hey, Cunningham! You ready for your final exam?
RICHIE. I have a bigger problem. Initials L.B.
FONZIE. What’s wrong with Lori Beth?
RICHIE. She keeps telling me about her naked finger.
FONZIE. Okay, talk time…ow! (touches his knee)
RICHIE. You okay?
FONZIE. I could not be better! Cunningham, how many
talks have we had about girls right here in front of
your garage?
RICHIE. I don’t know…212?
FONZIE. Then I think you’re ready for the big one – number
213. The “wanna get closer” talk. I remember when my
girl, Pinky, once asked me what my intentions were.
20 H A P P Y D AY S , A N E W M U S I C A L

FONZIE. (cont.) We are no longer a twosome. Moving closer

means moving apart. As my Grandma Nussbaum used
to say, “If you work in a bakery, stay away from the buns.”
(RALPH and POTSIE come in doing Laverne and Shir-
ley TV series main title walk.)
RALPH & POTSIE. …Three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
Schlemeel, schlemazel, hasenfeffer incorporated.
POTSIE. We just saw Laverne and Shirley.
RALPH. Yeah! We’d love to ask them out, but we’re afraid
they’ll beat us up.
POTSIE. (dreamy) To be honest, I’m strangely drawn to the
“L” on Laverne’s sweater.
RALPH. You’re such a Potsie.
(CHACHI enters.)
CHACHI. Latest news, latest news.
FONZIE. Hey Cousin Chachi!
CHACHI. Arnold’s is having a dance contest to raise money.
FONZIE. (as he works on his motorcycle) Yeah, it was my idea.
CHACHI. And guess who’s coming back to be a beautiful
judge…? Wah wah wah, Pinky Tuscadero!
(FONZIE drops wrench in shock.)
FONZIE. (pause, lying) I knew that!
(changes subject)
I gotta go call a guy who knows a guy who knows a man
about the guys bugging Arnold. You guys go rehearse a
song or something.
(FONZIE exits upstairs, trying to cover his shock. The
guys look at each other. Overlapping…)
CHACHI. Yikes. What’d I say?
POTSIE. He turned white. Is he okay?
RALPH. Did I miss something again? What just happened?
RICHIE. (interrupting) Come on guys, let’s have a Dial-Tones
rehearsal.
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