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Tilden2005 PDF
Tilden2005 PDF
OF INDIVIDUALS IN COUPLES
RELATIONSHIPS: A COGNITIVE
PERSPECTIVE
Terje Tilden
Frank M. Dattilio
Terje Tilden, MA, LCSW, LMFT, is in the Family Therapy Department, Modum Bad
Vikersund, Norway (tilden@modum-bad.no). Frank M. Dattilio, PhD, is in the Depart-
ment of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical School, Cambridge, MA, USA (datt02cip@cs.com).
Author’s note: Portions of this article were published in Norwegian by the first
author and appear in Nordby, T.T. (2002): Kognitiv parterapi. En tilnærming som iva-
retar betydningen av den individuelle sårbarheten i samspillet. Reprinted by permission
of Fokus på familien 30, 46–60.
Contemporary Family Therapy 27(2), June 2005 Ó 2005 Springer Science+Business Media, Inc. 139
DOI: 10.1007/s10591-005-4036-4
140
FAMILY-OF-ORIGIN AND
AUTOMATIC THOUGHTS
FIGURE 1
Case Example
She He
FIGURE 2
Sue John
Fearful that being evident may cause John sees that Sue is troubled, but he is
abandonment. Becomes unclear when she unable to perceive what she’s trying to
“Now he’s going to leave me. This happens to John experiences distress when he doesn’t
me all of the time. I’m not worthy of anything understand Sue, and simultaneously perceives
“I can’t trust anyone else but myself. I need to find some explanations and proposals for a
be strong and maintain control. If I don’t have solution. This is something he is used to doing
control, I’ll end up unprotected when I’m left alone.
alone.” (protection)
Sue experiences that John is leaving her after John experiences confusion and distress. He
tension arose between them following a goes for a walk in the forest without telling
FIGURE 3
From To
“She doesn’t trust me” “There is too little trust in our
relationship”
“We argue because he doesn’t listen to “We argue because we don’t make an
“We argue because she suffers from a “We argue because parts of our individual
relationship”
FIGURE 4
Reducing Stigmatization
One person within a family who suffers from a high degree of
individual vulnerability may easily become the ‘‘identified patient.’’
Whatever theoretical model is employed, it should be a priority to
reduce the negative consequences of this in whatever way possible.
From a systemic point of view, the cognitive model could be criti-
cized because it so openly identifies maladaptive schemas belonging
to one or more persons as causal to the problems. Even when this is
not the intention, a negative consequence of such a linear concep-
tualization may be a reinforcement of stigmatizing the identified
patient. Within the cognitive model, there are techniques that
can be used to work against such stigmatization (i.e., ways of
158
CONCLUSIONS
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