Operations Brief How to make some motherfucking posole

Making that shit with thanksgiving leftovers

Introduction
This document details how to upgrade VVO 3.0.0.23 using the ‘vvoadmin’ command line
interface.
It also explains how to make some fuckin posole using the leftover turkey. (Use dark meat, it’s
better. Don’t worry you can skim that fatty shit off the surface.

This procedure requires network connectivity. Upgrade files will be provided via http download.
Also, if you don’t have leftover turkey, just go to El Mercado (which is Spanish for “the market”)
or go to La Tienda (which is Spanish for “the store”) and get your ass some pork shoulder. Or
go get a goddamn rotisserie Huhn from Stussgen and shred the fuck out of it. You need to get a
nice big ass Tupperware container full of meat though, so make sure you don’t pick up a Halbe-
Huhn by accident. No halfass posole.
 Also stew.
 Cobranobra
 Pal mit Wild gets the dog all aggro.
 Remember the guy at Sharper Image at 12 Oaks mall who got mad cause I gave the
middle finger to the FuturePhone™?

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Vamenos a la Mercado! Ay ay ay!
1. Don’t fuck around with the following ingredients: without these two ingredients, you can’t
have posole. You just have a gaywad stew. Which can be handy and mutable, from stew
to goulash to couscous and back, but still- its not posole. Read step 2.

2. Select option [c] to open the Special Commands menu. Just kidding, make sure you get
the shit below:

These are dried Guajillo peppers (Gwah-HEE-yo). Don’t get fresh ones, that’s gay. Plus, the
dried ones are specially seasoned and shit cause they know youre prob gonna make posole.
Anyway, buy a bag of this crap.

3. Enter the address of a valid VVO software image and press Enter.

4. Verify the software upgrade by navigating to the VVO Special Commands Menu and
selecting option ‘[v] show version.’
5. Flip the circuit breaker and cut power to the living room during Der Profis.

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 This is hominy. You need to buy a large can of it.
Not the ridiculous gross lunch lady sized can, not the campbells soup size can, just a large one.

You can get all the rest of the shit at a normal grocery store. I recommend whole foods for the
fresh peppers, although I don’t know what kind of fresh peppers the whole foods in tribeca
carries. Walk up to mary louise parker and ask her where the poblano peppers are. Don’t let her
see the can of hominy. For some reason the shit always just looks gross. The cans are always
next to some foul shit like cuitlacoche or chitlins or ‘sardinhas con chinga de sal y huilo de
olivas’
You may start to regret your decision to make pozole when you see the mexi aisle at your local
greengrocers. Don’t worry this is normal.

1. Connect to VVO server via ssh and login to ‘vvoadmin’ interface. Or

don’t. actually. Instead, have a Bun Crosswise on me.

Is the plural for bun crosswise ‘Buns Crosswise’ like ‘Maitres d’?
It should be.

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 2. Select option [c] to open the Special Commands menu.

Option:
[1] Configure Data Interface
[2] Configure Mgmt Interface
[3] Stop saying ‘device’
[4] Pirate software from Apple Store
[5] Laugh about it
[6] Operations brief- yer tuff!
[7] Activate powerarm
[8] Set Date,Time Timezone
[e] Edit VVO network config (manual)
[p] Change admin password
[c] Special commands
[r] Reboot
[h] Halt/power-off
[q] Quit - exit

Choose Option 7

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Get this shit

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And get one of these: this is a poblano pepper.

and that’s a Serrano pepper. Get one.

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And that’s a good ol jalapeno.

Don’t worry if you can’t find all those peppers, you can substitute. The poblanos are really good
though, they are really mild and flavorful and get all soft in there and shit. Hell yeah. Don’t use
effing bell peppers though that would be so gay.

Also, I will recap at the end of all this to make it easier to view. Calm down.

COOKING THE SHIZZ

2. Enter the address of a valid VVO software image and press Enter.
 Get out yer dried guajillo peppers. You need about 8-10. Cut those fuckers open
over the trash can and get the seeds and veins outta those dried up haggard
bitches. Lookin all leathery and shit like fritz die bademeister.
 Throw them in a pot of boiling water for about ONE HOUR. Keep adding water if
the water boils off too much.

3. Get a huge ass pot out. The one we use I fill up to just about under
the handles, and that’s about 18-19 cups of water. Leave room for

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 cream, mya. No seriously, you need room to dump hominy and
fistfuls of meat in thar.
 Get that shit boiling and add chicken broth. I think its one spoon per 2 cups
of water, whatever the effing Maggi chicken broth jar tells you to do. Look
at the side of the hominy can and see how long it takes to cook. That way
you can time it with your Guajillo sludge.

Choose Option: v
Installed packages are:
vvoproxy-3.1.0-21
vvosnmp-3.1.0-21
vvotranscoder-3.1.0.21

VVO will display three installed packages and their corresponding version numbers.
Upgrade is successful if all three packages match the desired version number.

FINAL COUNTDOWN:

 Throw the hominy in your big ass pot o’stock

 Chop up a Serrano, a poblano, and a jalapeno and throw that shit in thar.
 Throw an entire bulb of garlic in there. Peel the individual cloves, but don’t chop em.
 Throw fistwads of meat into the pot. Mmmm fistwads.

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Don’t forget the magic sludge!!!!1

I almost forgot!

 Throw those peppers in a blender.

 Blend the shit out of them. Careful when you first start cause they will shoot through the
top really easily cause they are solid. I sprayed the whole kitchen and my pants and shoes
down.
 That sucked, but it was kind of like being at Gwar.

Blend. Blend. Blend. Blend.

Strain the solids out of that shit. You will get a nice creamy smooth hemorrhoid inducing
paste. It should look like this:

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 Conclusion:

Stir a bunch of that shit into your soup. It should turn the soup a dark fiery awesome
color. **WARNING:

DON’T USE IT ALL. YOU SHOULD HAVE A BUNCH LEFTOVER to put in your
fridge and wonder what to do with it. Its just how it goes. You can use it to make salsa
from what I hear. We used about half. I would have wanted to use a tad more, but
Jessicurr was convinced she was right. She pretty much was right on.

**Hopefully you have timed it right so you don’t have to sit around for another hour.
Ours took about 30 mins from the time we dumped in the sludge. But we just decided it
was ready. OH AND ALSO: we were using previously cooked fistwads. I dunno what the
fuck you gotta do with raw pork shoulder, don’t ask me. “Brown the meat, Taahhhhm!”

Here is what that shit should look like:

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Corporate Headquarters | 1320 Chesapeake Terrace, Sunnyvale, CA 94089 | 408-215-5100 | www.venturiwireless.com
GARNISH:

Most people sprinkle chopped onions all over the top but fuck that. Float little avocado wedges
in thar. And some shredded cheese, and some cilantro.

**** IMPORTANT:

Get some freaking limes! Squeeze that shit in there just before serving

And also

SHRED SOME CABBAGE and dump that in there just before serving. No seriously, the pale
green kind. Just do it, trust me its fucking awesome.

AY! MI CORAZON! DESAYUNO!

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