HOT SEAT OF HOLLYWOOD HILLS PRESENTS
C.G.N.
"Friends" Cast To Re-Unite, Citing Lack of Career
Opportunities
By: Danielle Flanigan
A long awaited and often delayed reunion of the cast of the
hit sitcom "Friends" is finally green lit for production. Fans
couldn't get enough of the hit show in the 90's/early 2000's,
and always have clamored for a reunion of the cast.
However, numerous other projects and financial limitations
have always stood in the way. The asking price from the
original cast was way too high, as they were making over $1
million per episode by the end of the show's extremely
successful run. Fast forward to the present day, and the star
power of most of the cast members has faded out, and from
all accounts, so have their bank accounts. Other than Jennifer
Aniston, the remainder of the cast have not found many
recent lucrative acting opportunities. Matthew Perry has
continued to have addiction issues, Matt Leblanc's good
looks have faded, Lisa Kudrow hasn't seen much work since
"The Comeback," and Courtney Cox's best days ended after
divorcing David Arquette. Poor management of their money
has led to a need for an easy cash windfall, and nothing spells
money than nostalgia. While we wonder just how good a
reunion episode would be from a writing standpoint, we
certainly can't blame them for going for the quick and easy
score.
PRESENT THIS VOUCHER TO GET
½ OFF YOUR JONAS BROTHERS
SUMMER TOUR TICKETS
Issue 1001 June 16, 2019
THIS
WEEK ON
CELEBRITY
GOSSIP
NEWS
See Page 3 to read more about Homer Simpson
Jackie Burkhart Cheats on Michael Kelso with
Famous Rapper 2 Chainz!
By: Christina Hill
Jackie Burkhart of That 70s Show cheated on her long
term boyfriend Michael Kelso with rapper, 2Chainz.
TMZ caught the young star leaving an LA club with the
rapper in his blue lamborghini at about 3 am on May
24th. The two of them were smooching as they peeled
out of the parking lot. Poparazzi followed them to 2
Chainz's upscale apartment where he carried her inside.
Neither of them seemed to be concerned about getting
caught as they were giggling every step of the way out
of the club and into the apartment. Days later when
TMZ caught up with Michael Kelso, he had no idea
about the affair when asked about it. Actually he was
doubtful that Burkhart would cheat on him. When the
tabloids begin flooding with the news and photos,
however, we can't imagine Kelso taking it very well. As
for Burkhart and 2 Chainz, well, we shall see how long
they are so carefree and lighthearted for. Their drunken
escapade is expected to cause a lot of stir in Hollywood,
as well as in Kelso's mental state.
0 7874204037
21 Savage Escaped ICE Custody???
By: Amanda Brooks
Just-In, BREAKING news! British rapper Shéyaa Bin
Abraham-Joseph, AKA “21 Savage” has allegedly escaped
from ICE Custody after being arrested for overstaying his
Visa in the states, he was arrested in Downtown Las Vegas,
on Fremont Street and was being held at an off-site location
while investigators decided what to do with him. An agent
that wishes to remain anonymous that had been guarding
him reported that this weird gas entered the chamber
through the vents, it was lime green and smelled like an
atomic fart. That’s all he remembers; the rest is a blackout.
When he and his five team members awoke, 21 Savage was
gone, leaving nothing behind but a rare Szechuan sauce
packet and a gaping, melted hole in the wall of his cell,
leading all the way out of the building! We have also
received reports from all over the Las Vegas valley of a
flying spaceship belonging to the FBI’s top ten most
wanted scientist criminal; Rick Sanchez. Later this
afternoon, the infamous rapper released a new track on his
SoundCloud titled, “Savage Gets Schwifty.” The FBI is
working hard to track where this song was uploaded, but
every time they get close their computer system shuts down
and lets out a loud burp. No one has seen Mr. Sanchez or
21 Savage since this morning, before he escaped. We will
update the public on anything new that comes of this story,
as soon as it unfolds. If you see anything out of the
ordinary, contact us immediately at fox5vegas. Story
brought to you by Amanda Brooks, from Fox5 News.
expires 6/30/19
Page 1
Issue 1001 June 16, 2019
C.G.N

THE SUCKER FOR WHO? Justin Bieber to Become the Next Bachelor on the Hit-TV Series

By:Taylor Hall By: Jannie Nigoza

Newlyweds Sophie Tucker and Joe Jonas may
not be as blissful as we all once believed. Last
night, images of Sophie and a young man who
looked eerily similar to the youngest Jonas
brother, Nick, surfaced. The two were
spotted sharing a quiet, cozy dinner in a
romantic, dimly lit restaurant in downtown
LA. Photographers captured the possible "in-
laws" hand-in-hand exiting the restaurant.
According to an inside source, when Joe is on
the road working, Sophie has been known to
seek comfort in the next nearest Jonas. Could
Kevin be next?
After a messy divorce with Hailey Baldwin, the Biebs is ready for the next chapter of his
life. The announcement that Justin would become the next Bachelor had fans all over the
place. It had some angry beliebers complaining that they did not want to see their idol have
yet another failed marriage. The controversial star has been in the limelight for his past
relationships, including one with Selena Gomez. The star claims that this opportunity
would allow him to “seize the world of love again” just only a month after his breakup.
The new season has people wondering if Justin will ever stick to one woman. His fans
have been blowing up twitter-both supportive and not supportive of this big transition.
Some fans have even made posters stating, “Baby, Baby, Baby no to the Bachelor”and
“That Should Be Me, Justin.” Other fans have gone to the extent of trying to pay their way
to become one of the contestants on the show. The newest and most awaited for season is
set to premiere on ABC this summer in July. Stay tuned for details on whether Justin will
find his dream girl or if it will become yet another failed relationship.

Hailey Bieber leaves husband, Justin Bieber after he receives explicit

pictures from Betty White.
By: Alyssa Collins
Will the cheating ever stop? Justin Bieber is now married to Hailey Bieber. Justin says that he has known Betty for quite some time now and
never thought that she would do something like this. According to People Magazine, Hailey went through Justin's phone and noticed they have
been talking frequently. She thought some of the messages were strange because she kept telling him how much she loved him with his shirt off.
Hailey stated, " He just sent laughing faces back to her and then all of a sudden I saw her naked body on his cell phone. I woke him up and asked
what was going on with these messages and he just looked at me with a blank face, so I left." Is Hailey Bieber gone for good? Stay tuned to see if
Hailey ever returns and the devastation of Justin.

“The Latest and Most Shockingly Effective Trend! Have We Finally Found the Key to World Peace?”
_______________________________________________________________________________________________________
by Jour: Theresa Vuong
Surely every human being required to interact with other human beings has encountered some spectrum of daily chaos, whether it’s a mere
disagreement or whether we’re screaming for our fast food to arrive even faster at our local McDonald’s restaurants. At one of America’s thousands
of branches of our favorite house of the 3 F’s (Fatty French Fries) sprouted one of the most profound yet possibly life-saving trends amongst all of
this generation's meaningless memes. It is perhaps one of the greatest tools humanity can use, and it is simple to use. It is a simple state of mind,
and all we had to do was look at the early 2000’s to find it!
One of today’s most infamous figures on Instagram and the pop culture world, Ariana Grande, had found herself in the restaurant she claimed
she would never eat at. Perhaps Grande intended to contribute to humanity’s humility by showing us that it is not so wrong to eat at McDonald’s
after all and that it is okay to submit to those cravings when we are in need of something quick and easy, and those are indeed good intentions!
However, this great plan of hers had failed the second she stepped into the restaurant.
She immediately began to suggest the changes that the McDonald’s Restaurant Chain could make to care more about their customers. “THE
DRIVE THRU ISN’T BIG OR LONG ENOUGH FOR MY LIMOSINE,” she cries loudly, attempting to address the imperative needs of the people.
The restaurant silences as she had—according to one paying customer in the restaurant at the time—violently yet unintentionally whipped all the
customers she had passed with her long and razor sharp, lasso-like ponytail to show how important it is to make these changes.
“I, like, watched all of Ariana Grande’s interviews on the ‘net,” says one loyal, yet perhaps reconsidering, Ariana Grande fan, “Like, I
thought she didn’t even like McDonald’s.”
Other fans, in the midst of all the commotion, had interjected in Grande’s defense, suggesting that she was attempting to make fast food
restaurants better for their patrons. It is claimed that Grande had made several of suggestions, including quicker delivery service, lightning-fast
cashiering, and silver platters just like the ones she is used to during her road of stardom, but her efforts to promote worldly peace this way were
incredibly ineffective.
This is when the great comedian, Will Smith, makes his way into the scene! Restaurant bystanders had greatly emphasized his powerful
logic and reason in this hectic scene.
“Girl, why don’t you just ‘woosah’, okay?” says Smith, as calmly as possible.
Eyes exchange glances. What is this ‘woosah’?
“It is really not that hard to understand,” Smith later explains, “Life doesn’t have to be so angry, y’know? Like it doesn’t have to be so on
the edge. Like if no one is about to die, then why don’t we all just 'wooooooooosah'?”
Smith defines woosah as “channeling negative energy out of our lives”, an anger management tactic that apparently works wonders when
things within our first world problems get out of control. It is a reference to 2003’s “Bad Boys II”, a hilarious action and adventure movie that
promoted comedic, yet effective, anger management therapy. All one needs to do when they are in emotional dismay is to say aloud, “Woosaaaaah”
while simultaneously calming down and realizing that there’s really nothing to be angry about.
“It’s what we all need!” another restaurant attendee added, “It’s finally what we all needed to hear.”
American citizens are finally finding peace within all of our country's inner issues within their day to day lives. Hopefully as this movement
develops further, anger reduces greatly among the people, and we can finally achieve getting as close to World Peace as we have ever gotten!

Page 2
 Issue 1001 June 16, 2019

JENNIFER LOPEZ CHEATING SCANDAL!

By: Monicah Hall
Jennifer Lopez who is currently engaged to Alex Rodriguez, have been caught in the hot seat after she posted
her nude pictures on Instagram with Derek Hough, who is a professional ballroom dancer and a cohost of the
show world of dance. The two were spotted on a cruise ship to Hawaii together where J lo was wearing a see-
through dress that revealed all her body parts. Derek was also seen kissing her on the lips, but he later denied
the allegation after the pictures went viral on social media. In the recent interview with the TM Z, with Cohost
Harvey Levin, J Lo said that her fiancée was aware of their business trip together with the Derek Bough and
there was no problem.

During last weeknight show with jimmy Fallon interview, Alex Rodriguez said that her fiancé lied about the
business trip with Derek Hough and they had planned the vacation months ago. Alex Rodriguez was pissed
with the whole situation that her fiancé was seen with another man. Alex has now called off the wedding
which was supposed to happen early next year!

HOMER SIMPSON
GOES TO THE HUNGER
GAMES
By: Destini Davenport
Somewhere close to Springfield everyone is welcome, to the annual
76th Hunger games! We will now select a member from each
district to be represented in the games. From District 1, Lisa
Simpson. Marge with her raspy voice says to Homer, “That’s your
daughter she can’t volunteer”. Homer says, “D’Oh, right I volunteer
as tribute.” Announcer then says, “Oh, ok guess.” Now introducing
the person from District 1, Homer Simpson. Homer makes his way
up to the stage and whispers to the announcer, “Will there be donuts
provided in the games”? The announcer laughs and says, “If you
think you will be provided with stuff you got another thing coming”.
The announcer continues to say the of members selected from the
other districts and concluded to say, “Take a look around, these are
your members for the 76th Hunger games”. Two days later, The
Hunger games took place. The games would last for 18 days. The
first day began, and Homer was off to an awful start. Before they
announce the challenge, he was already fast asleep until, a girl with
red hair and looked to be 14 years old from District 9 wakes him up.
Homer says, “Where am I? Am I in Springfield going to Lard Lad
donut shop”? The District 9 female says, “No you loser you are in
the Hunger games and you have to work hard in order to complete
these games”. Homer then says, “D’Oh work, I thought this was a
game”. Just like that a big, bright light flashes through the sky and
someone from District 3 and 4 has died. Homer said, “Flash a donut
next”. A donut was flashed and inside read,” YOU’RE AN IDIOT!
AND YOU SHOULD NOT EVEN BE IN THE GAMES.” Homer
was now convinced he was going to win the Hunger games and that’s
when Katniss Everdeen and Peeta appeared, the winners of the 75th
Hunger games. They showed Homer some tricks, rules and how to
survive the games. Their knowledge helped Homer defeated
everyone in the Hunger games and come out as the winner of the
annual 76th Hunger games. For Homers prize he received an income
from the Springfield’s mayor for life, and was given a special status
in his town, he was also allowed to live in the part of his town called
Burns Summer Mansion with his family. But because he is Homer
with his income he brought and has built Lard Lad donut shop like
the exact one in Springfield. But this one would be in Panemfield.
He built the shop so he can have a big pink jelly filled donut every
day for free.
Want to find out what Homer is doing now and if he is still eating
Jelly filled donuts? You can find out if you visit Panemfield and go
into a Lard Lad’s donut shop and if you see a yellow and wide man
with big eyes drooling next to a plate of donuts. You will be in the
right place. Also, come back next to see what Homer decides to
volunteer in next. As Homer says, “Stupidity got us into this mess
and stupidity will get us out.''

Page 3
Issue 1001 June 16, 2019
Kylie Jenner Spotted In A
Love Affair With Her New
BFF Stassie!
By: Stephanie More-Texier
It appears as Kylie has been
spotted in multiple vacation
spots modeling with her new
BFF Anastassia
Karanikolaou. At one of their
most recent trips in Miami,
Florida, our sources say
Kylie and her BFF were
partying at Hyde
Beach Nightclub. Kylie was
out celebrating Stacie's 22nd
birthday. The night got
heated when encountering
Tyga, Kylie’s ex-boyfriend,
and Jordan Woods, Kylie’s
ex-best friend, were spotted
dancing in the middle of the
club. Kylie gave everyone a
surprise when giving Stacie a
passionate kiss instead of
causing a scene. Sources say
Jordan then left the club
discomfort. Did this kiss
confirm the rumors with
Kylie’s affair with Stassie?
Bye, Bye Jordan! Welcome
Stacie!
BREAKING NEWS! Kylie
Cosmetics gone MOLDY??
Sunday afternoon, twitter
users were going mad about
the new release of KYLIE
Cosmetics only to find out
the products contained
mold.. Repeatedly denied by
famous Kylie Jenner “its fuzz
from dead skin cells on ones
lips not mold”. Hundreds of
reports and pictures going
around social media
containing products with
mold, there is no way it can
be denied. Followers are
starting to add up evidence
from years of KYLIE
Cosmetics planning the
release date and pushing it
back many months, having
all the cosmetics already
finished and ready for
release while the clock for
expiration was running
while products were sitting
in a lab. Were products
released too late or a defect
in the ingredients? Stay
tuned to find out more!
Page 4
C.G.N.
This season on Catfish...
By: Kyla Lewis
Nev and Max set out on their journey to
find catfish. People pretending to be
someone they aren’t you might ask? No.
This season Nev and Max have realized
they’ve come to a stop. The show isn’t
interesting enough and views are
dropping. In hopes of saving their once
hit TV show they are switching things up
a little.
Nev and Max agree to start setting out
their journey in the world to discover
new breeds of actual catfish. The show
will now be called Catfish 2: Back and
better than ever. In the season you’ll see
the two dynamic duo set out into
different parts of the world in hopes of
discovering a new species.
In this season things will get a little
fishier than usual. But you’ll have to tune
in December 13th 2019 to find out.
This season on the Bachelor
By: Whitney Huffer
For what is about to be the most dramatic
season yet, Michael Scott joins the ABC
franchise as this seasons Bachelor. After
what was one of the most heartbreaking
breakups, unfortunately Michael and Holly
have said their goodbyes. It has now been
a few years and Michael has decided he's
ready to get back into the dating
world. He approached Mike Fleiss,
creator of The Bachelor/ Bachelorette
franchise, about being the shows lead for
the next season. He was welcomed with
opened arms and the whole production is
excited for what this will bring! This
season will be a little different than the
rest. After the divorce Michael moved
back to Scranton with his
children. Because his kids are young and
he has full custody, the season will take
place in Scranton, PA. This season will
bring some heartache, great laughs, but
most importantly, it will bring love for
Michael. Tune in at the end of the month
to see Michael Scott on his journey to find
love.
Breaking news Bojack
Horsemen and Will
Arnett both found
dead of a drug
overdose.
By: Grant McGee
Local Law enforcement reports that Will Arnett's
housekeeper found both Bojack Horsemen and Will
Arnett in a room plastered with cocaine, Meth,
Prescription painkillers, and alcohol. This is very
shocking news since Bojack has just come of his hit
movie Secretariat in which he played the lead role
of the racehorse Secretariat. Will Arnett also leaves
behind a legacy of great comedy movies and t.v.
shows such as Arrested Development and the lego
movies. Many readers may be surprised to know
that Bojack had a sister. Hollyhock Manheim-
Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-
Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack came out shortly after
hearing about her brother's death and will be
handling the funnel arrangements alongside
Princess Carolyn, Mr. Peanutbutterm, and Diane
Nguyen. We wish the families all the best and hope
they can get through these trying time.
Breaking News! Famous Pop artist
group Jonas Brothers member Joe
Jonas becomes king of the north in
Winterfell after marrying Queen,
Sansa Stark.
By: Tyler Stump
The love birds were spotted taking a
lovely vacation at the Beaches of Naath
when Joe was seen dropping down to one
knee with an emphatic yes from the
queen. The wedding was held in
Winterfell where the two families came
together to join the families and
celebrate the newlyweds. An interview
following the wedding gave insight into
the rumors of a baby to join the two
within a few months. With the new held
responsibility of being the king of the
north and raising a child has also led to
rumors of the band breaking up again.
Outraged, fans are asking the band to
stay together but the future does not look
bright for them. The band had just
recently come together again after a
previous break up that had left fans
broken. What will happen now? Will the
band stick together through this new
challenge or separate again? Find out in
next months subscription!