Attraction and Love

Attraction: The Force That Binds?

Physical Attractiveness
± Is beauty in the eye of the beholder?
Cultural standards for physical attractiveness exist.
± Can lead to taking measures to meet cultural expectations » Anorexia nervosa: Pote
ntially life-threatening eating disorder characterized by refusal to maintain a
healthy body weight; intense fear of being overweight; a distorted body image; a
nd, in females, lack of menstruation (amenorrhea). ± Men prefer women to be somewh
at heavier than women think men do. ± Women prefer men to be somewhat leaner than
men think women do.
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Attraction: The Force That Binds?
Lesbians physical preferences:
± Prefer heavier women than men ± Reject excessive slenderness as attractive
Nonphysical traits
± Perceived beauty may be enhanced by such traits as familiarity, liking, respect,
and sharing of values and goals
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Attraction: The Force That Binds?
Some facial features associated with beauty appear to be the same across culture
s. Gender-role expectations affect perceptions of physical attractiveness.
± People who act consistent with gender-role expectations typically are viewed as
more attractive.
People s names affect perceptions of attractiveness.
± Matthew versus Sylvester ± Christine versus Gertrude
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Symmetry of Facial Features
http://videos.howstuffworks.com/hsw/25265-prescribing-beauty-evolving-beautyvide
o.htm http://videos.howstuffworks.com/discovery/35976-science-of-sex-appeal-faci
alsymmetry-importance-video.htm http://videos.howstuffworks.com/discovery/35975-
science-of-sex-appeal-attractivefacial-features-video.htm
Attraction: The Force That Binds?
Men report valuing the physical attractiveness of prospective partners more than
women do. Women report valuing the earning potential of prospective partners mo
re than men do.
± Although some evidence may support an evolutionary explanation for attractivenes
s preferences, it does not fit all the data.
Both men and women report that personal characteristics (e.g., honesty) matter m
ore than physical features do when considering long-term partners. And many wome
n also prefer physically attractive partners. Cultural influences can explain th
e findings, as well.
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Attraction: The Force That Binds?
Attraction-Similarity Hypothesis
± People tend to develop romantic relationships with people who are similar to the
mselves in attractiveness and other traits.
Exceptions to this hypothesis happen when a lack of attractiveness is compensate
d for by other factors.
± Matching can apply to similarity in ethnicity, age, educational level, and relig
ion.
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Attraction: The Force That Binds?
Attitudes: Do Opposites Attract or Do Birds of a Feather Flock Together ?
± Similarity in attitudes is an important factor in attraction. ± Propinquity (nearn
ess) we tend to live near those who are similar to us in many ways ± Similarity is
more important to women than to men
Reciprocity
± Mutual exchange
People like those who they think like them.
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What is Love?
Is it Biological?
± Bodily changes occur when we feel love:
Chemicals in the brain s pleasure system Hormones Increased nerve growth factor
Is it Psychological lodged in the individual? Is it Cultural a function of share
d beliefs?
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Love and Greek Heritage
Philia
± Friendship love ± Based on liking and respect rather than sexual desire
Eros
± The kind of love that is closest in meaning to the modernday concept of passion
Storge
± Loving attachment and nonsexual affection ± The type of love that binds parents to
children
Agape
± Selfless love ± A kind of loving that is similar to generosity and charity
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Romantic Love in Contemporary Western Culture
Western culture idealizes the concept of romantic love.
In the U.S., most people believe romantic love is a prerequisite for marriage or
other kinds of long-term or permanent relationships. Romantic love involves emo
tional highs and lows. Women justify sexual activity with love, but men do not n
eed to attribute love to sexual urges and behavior
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Love Vs Infatuation
Infatuation
± A state of intense absorption in or focus on another person ± Usually involves sex
ual desire, elation, general physiological arousal or excitement; passion ± If rel
ationship develops, it typically is enforced by feelings of attachment and carin
g. ± Often a passing fancy, but may develop into deeper feelings and an enduring r
elationship
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Contemporary Models of Love
± Love as appraisal of arousal (Berscheid & Hatfield)
Romantic love
± A kind of love characterized by feelings of passion and intimacy » Physiological a
rousal that is attributed to feelings of love » Culture that idealizes romantic lo
ve
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Styles of love (Hendrick & Hendrick)
± Logical love (pragma) I consider a lover s potential in life before committing m
yself. ± Possessive, excited love (mania) When my lover ignores me, I get sick all
over. ± Selfless love (agape) My lover s needs and wishes are more important than
my own. ± Romantic love (eros) My lover and I were attracted to each other immedi
ately. ± Game-playing love (ludus) I get over love affairs pretty easily. ± Friendsh
ip (storge, philia) The best love grows out of an enduring friendship.
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Sternberg s triangular theory of love
± Three main components of loving relationships
Intimacy
± Feelings of closeness, bondedness, and connectedness ± Desire to share one s inner
most thoughts with the other ± Desire to give and receive emotional support
Passion
± Intense romantic or sexual desire for another person, which is accompanied by ph
ysiological arousal
Commitment
± Commitment to maintain the relationship despite potential hardships
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Love: The Morning and the Evening Star ?
Sternberg s triangular theory of love
Intimacy
Passion
Commitment
Copyright 2008 Allyn & Bacon
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Love: The Morning and the Evening Star ?
Sternberg s triangular theory of love
± Types of love
Nonlove
± All components of love are absent.
Liking
± Intimacy is present. ± Passion and commitment are absent.
Infatuation
± Love at first sight ± Passion is present. ± Intimacy and commitment are absent.
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 Sternberg s triangular theory of love
± Types of love
Empty love
± Commitment is present. ± Passion and intimacy are absent.
Romantic love
± Passion and intimacy are present. ± Commitment is absent.
Companionate love
± Intimacy and commitment are present. ± Passion is absent.
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 Sternberg s triangular theory of love
± Types of love
Fatuous love
± Passion and commitment are present. ± Intimacy is absent.
Consummate love
± ± ± ±
Full or complete measure of love Combination of passion, intimacy, and commitmen
t An ideal type of love Harder to maintain than to achieve
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Sternberg s triangular theory of love
Liking
Intimacy
Romantic Love
Companionate Love
Passion
Infatuation
Consummate Love
Fatuous Love
Commitment
Empty Love
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Study Guide
Symmetry Physical features Wealth and power Personality traits Attr
rity hypothesis Philia Storge Eros Agape Romantic love Pragma Mania Ludus Sternb
erg s Triangular Theory Intimacy Passion Committment Empty love Liking Infatuati
on Romantic love Fatuous love Companionate love