Cards Against Humanity

Date
confirmed
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12/4/2014
12/5/2014
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1/5/2015
1/6/2015
1/7/2015
1/10/2015
1/10/2015
1/19/2015
1/20/2015
4/2/2015
4/2/2015
5/4/2015
5/4/2015
5/6/2015
7/14/2015
7/28/2015
7/28/2015
8/1/2015
8/5/2015
8/9/2015
8/10/2015
8/10/2015
8/10/2015
8/15/2015
8/27/2015
8/29/2015
9/1/2015
9/2/2015
9/2/2015
9/6/2015
9/28/2015
9/30/2015
10/2/2015
10/7/2015
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1/3/2016
1/8/2016
1/8/2016
1/22/2016
1/29/2016
2/10/2016
2/10/2016
2/29/2016
3/14/2016
3/14/2016
3/29/2016
5/5/2016
5/5/2016
5/12/2016
5/13/2016
5/13/2016
6/12/2016
6/15/2016
8/7/2016
8/8/2016
8/21/2016
8/22/2016
8/28/2016
8/29/2016
8/31/2016
9/1/2016
9/2/2016
9/8/2016
9/9/2016
9/14/2016
12/6/2016
12/9/2016
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1/4/2017
1/4/2017
1/6/2017
1/14/2017
1/15/2017
1/22/2017
1/23/2017
2/5/2017
2/6/2017
2/7/2017
2/9/2017
2/13/2017
2/15/2017
2/16/2017
2/23/2017
2/24/2017
2/25/2017
3/6/2017
3/7/2017
3/8/2017
3/9/2017
3/10/2017
3/13/2017
3/15/2017
3/16/2017
3/17/2017
3/20/2017
3/21/2017
3/28/2017
3/30/2017
3/31/2017
4/1/2017
4/3/2017
4/4/2017
4/16/2017
4/21/17
4/24/2017
4/28/2017
5/4/2017
5/22/2017
7/6/2017
7/12/2017
7/14/2017
7/15/2017
7/17/2017
7/27/2017
7/29/2017
8/3/2017
8/7/2017
8/15/2017
8/16/2017
8/22/2017
8/23/2017
8/27/2017
8/29/2017
8/31/2017
9/1/2017
9/3/2017
9/8/2017
9/11/2017
9/17/2017
9/18/2017
9/23/2017
9/25/2017
9/26/2017
9/27/2017
10/1/2017
10/5/2017
10/6/2017
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11/29/020
7
11/30/020
7
12/4/2017
12/5/2017
12/6/2017
12/8/2017
12/9/2017
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1/2/2018
1/3/2018
1/5/2018
1/6/2018
1/7/2018
1/8/2017
1/12/2018
1/13/2018
1/14/2018
1/17/2018
1/21/2018
1/22/2017
1/26/2018
1/27/2018
1/28/2018
1/29/2018
1/30/2018
1/31/2018
2/9/2018
2/10/2018
2/14/2018
2/16/2018
Spreadsheet Curator - Zach Cain, /u/TehMasterCain, TehMasterCain@gmail.com
Spreadsheet Editor - /u/kostinalysis, kostinalysis@outlook.com
Please send card lists, information, changes, or corrections#NAME?
to the Spreadsheet Editor until further noti
Credit goes to original creators and contributors (especially fabio112345@gmail.com /u/Kstau24).
CAH X1 v1.0 still needs a card list. If you have the first edition of the first expansion I need your assistance!
CAH X1 has several cards not marked as being in any editions. Can someone confirm if they are in any of their decks? Th
I WAS going to have some definitions on cards to help educate people as to their meanings / make things deeper / more
just TOO MANY CARDS so instead im going to link back to BGG and people can talk about cards there in an open forum in
the work.
Coincidentally, if anyone knows of a thread already started let me know and i'll link it here.
Link to discussion of this card list: http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/947849/hopefully-more-than-complete-listing-
Reformatted nearly the entire sheet. Its more pretty now. You're welcome.
A plunger to the face added to v1.2
24-hour media coverage changed from v1.2 and v1.3 to v1.1
a smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool asian, and some whites. Fixed punctuation (capital A)
Clenched butt cheeks punctuation fixed and added to v1.2
Deflowering a princess added to v1.2 and v1.3
Deflowering the princess removed from v1.2 and v1.3
Good frammar removed from v1.2
Media coverage removed from v1.1 and added to v1.3
Pistol-whipping a hostage removed from v1.2
Salvia.Added to v1.2. Is it in v1.3?
Slow motion. removed from v1.2
Stockholm syndrome added to v1.2
Syphilitic insanity added to v1.2
The Fanta® girls. removed from v1.2
The ooze added to v1.2
He who controls ______ controls the world. removed from v1.1, added to v1.3
Next season on Man vs, Wild, Bear Grylls must survive the depths of the Amazon with only ______ and his wits. added to v
This season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only ______ and his wits. removed
v1.3
Science will never explain ______. added to v1.2 and v1.3
Science will never explain the origin of ______. removed from v1.2 and v1.3
LOOOOTS of work, not only by me but also mvazquez42. Huge thanks. I'm going to start tracking aditions and remission
were some missed cards in some peoples' decks. This seems to make the most sense to me to get the most complete list
tuned for the 2013 cards, it's taking longer than anticipated for my 12 shitty gifts to get here.
Changed name of 2nd list in Crabs White from Volume 1 (mistake) to Volume 2. Added a few changes to that list in v1.1
3 list for Crabs White. Added a few changes to Crabs Black Volume 2 in v1.1 column. Added Volume 3 list for Crabs Blac
misspellings in Crabs Volume 2 (both White and Black) and updated Volume 2 to note italic words on cards (noted as "/b
the Crabs Volume 2 and 3 decks I have are v1.0 or v1.1. Since there already was a v1.0 for Vol 2 I put my changes in v1.1
3 I used v1.0 for that.
Added Volume 4 to Crabs White and Black sheets.
Added the unofficial Hackers Against Humanity expension deck.
Added a section with custom cards found around the internet (Reddit, forums, etc)
Added 10 Days Or Whatever of Kwanzaa Cards - Will update as they come in
Cross-checked day 5 of Kwanzaa - re-sorted into original package order.
Added Expansion 5 v1.0 Black Cards
Added Expansion 5 v1.0 White Cards -- Enjoy!
There appears to be two different google docs for capturing all of the CAH cards and expansions. I have copied all of the
from the other document to this one. New Sections include: Cards of Mass Destruction, Ferengi Rules of Acquisition, Car
Bards Against Humanity, Cards Against Archer, Cards Against the Realm, Cards Against Hogwarts, Nerds Against Human
Science, Fandoms Against Humanity. Credit to Kstau24.
There is an unofficial (printed) expansion called 'Cards & Punishment'. Need to add card list.
Added 'Cruise Against Hodgman' listing

Added a new Custom - White, and Custom - Black Section with several hundred entries.
Minor spelling correction (CAK UK Black)
Cleaned up and reorganised the main deck sections (verified v1.6 content was correct) and reorganized
Re-did the "Cords
Added 'Expansions White"
Against and "Expansions
Harmony" Black" sections to capture a fewunofficial
(http://www.cordsagainstharmony.com/) missing items. Cleaned-up
expansion formatting.
packs tabs. Still nee
in.
Need to get card text and add section for "Cards & Punishment" unofficial expansion. Emailed Developers.
Added "Links & Info" tab.
Added the AU version of CAH to the "CAH Int'l" Tabs
Combined the CAH holiday specials (12 days of BS, 10 days or whatever...) onto a new tab "CAH - Holiday Specials"
Minor revisions to Main deck (White) for v1.6 revisions. Thanks Steven Fox for the details!
Added the three decks from the unofficial expansion 'Cards Against Your Face' created by Jim Pinto. Big thanks go out to
Combined all unofficial decks/sets into the 'Misc. Unofficial Decks" Sheets. Removed the other sheets/tabs.
Added a list of all Decks/Sets/Expansions contained in the spreadsheet to the 'Links & Info' Sheet
Added 'Grognards Against Humanity' unofficial expansion to the Misc. Decks sheet.
Added the 'Tabletop Expansion' to the CAH Expansions sheet
Added the unofficial 'Cords Against Harmony' sets.
Added the 'Cads About Matrimony' set
Added "Ladies Against Humanity" and "Cards Against Grif" to the unofficial expansions sheets
Added "Cords Against Harmony - Volume 3". Thanks Brad!!
Updated the CAH AU edition to reflect the actual printed cards instead of the outdated PDF (thanks to /u/buster2Xk)
Updated the CAH main deck listings for v1.6 after errors were found. Big thanks go out to Paul for cross checking every s
deck.
Added the 'Cards and Punishment' unofficial expansion pack to the unofficial expansions tab.
Added the "CAH Retail Mini Set" to the CAH Expansions Tab
Added the 'CAH Science Pack' Expansion set. Thanks William Lim for getting me the list.
Added Sixth Expansion v1.0 White Cards
Added Canadian v1.6 changes
Added 'Cults Attempt Hokypoky' unofficial expansion - Credit to R.J.
Added the "Cards Against the Empire" unofficial expansion - Thanks to Brandon (/u/NerdSplosionz) for creating this see
the list.
Added "Cards Against Pervertity" and "Cards Against Senility" unofficial expansions to the 'Cards Against Your Face' Tab
Completed CAH 10 Days of Kwanzaa or Whatever section in CAH Holiday Specials
Added "Cocks Abreast Hostility" unofficial expansion.
Added "Reject Pack 2" to CAH Expansions sheet.
Added "Design Pack" to the CAH Expansions - White tab. Big thanks to Annie W. for her help with this.
Added "Guards Against Insanity" unofficial expansion.
Updated "Nerds Against Humanity" to reflect additions through 8/10/15.
There
Addedisn't really
"Cruise a "Canadian
Against HodgmanConversion
2; CruiseKit" v1.6 and
Harder" allunofficial
to the the replacements in the
expansions CanadaChristine
- Thanks Edition v1.6
C. formake things pret
the help!
replaced cards are marked with comments in both the CAH Main Deck and CAH Expansions sheets. After thinking abou
Restored
we shouldandjustfixed
add the
the issues with the
international unofficial
"main decks" expansions
as columns (white
to theand
mainblack)
decktabs.
sheets and perhaps we could put the nam
Updated CAH Main Deck and CAH Expansions v1.6 for the Canada Edition v1.6
card as comments if it's obvious. It's extremely difficult to verify the correctness (there
of theare
CAHnow anlists
Int'l equal number
as-is, of comm
and impossib
all replacements)
were REMOVED from the US version for those versions which many people may want to know. I took a stab at doing this
edition as I got a perfect 460/90 complete set.
Added US v1.7 Main Deck White and Black cards.
Added 'Pax Prime 2015' to CAH Expansions tab
Added Crabs Adjust Humidity Volume 5 v1.0
Added Crabs Adjust Humidity Volume 2 v1.1
Added Crabs Adjust Humidity OmniClaw Edition Vol 1-5 v1.0
Added changes for CAH Sixth Expansion v1.1 (Thanks George)
Added "Carps & Angsty Manatee" new expansion to its own tabs. Huge thanks to the Carps & Angsty Manatee team & Ma
me.
Added Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode I - The Dirty Goblin to Misc. Unofficial Decks
Fixed Main Deck Tabs for White and Black cards. Please let me know if you see any more issues.
Added Cakes Athirst Hilarity Volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4 to Misc. Unofficial Decks
Fixed some formatting issues
Added the 'SDCC fanfiction expansion' to the unofficial expansions tab.
Amended the card lists for CAH First Expansion v1.3 per wkrick's meticulous accounting of cards
Added revised edition of Cats Abiding Horribly Episode I (v2.0)
Added the "8 Sensible Hanukah Gifts" to the CAH - Holiday Specials Tabs - Thanks George!
Minor updates to the CAH Main deck list (changing version numbers for select cards) - Thanks Palmer
Added CAH: World Wide Pack and Fantasy Pack to CAH Expansions tabs - Thanks Tori and Annie!
Minor edits
Changed the 'Cads About Matrimony' Tabs to 'Stand Aone Games' and added new deck/game Skewered And Roasted
Added 'Carbs of the Huge Manatee: Online Dating 1, Kink Expansion 1, and General Expansion 1' to the misc unoffical tab
Added 'Carps And Angsty Manatee Volume 2, Guards Against Insanity Edition 2, and Guards Against Insanity Edition 3'. T
Added 'Words Against Morality" volumes 1 to 4 to Commercial Collections tabs
Moved Cakes Athirst Hilarity to Commercial Collections tabs.
Added Cads About Matrimony: Expansion 1 to Stand Alone Games
Added Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode II - A New Low
Moved commercial decks from Misc tabs to Commercial Expansions tabs. Fixed listings for the Carbs of the Huge Manat
Added "Cruise Against Hodgman 3: Revenge of the Hodgman"
Added "Bad Campaign, The Presidential Party Game!" to Standalone Games Tab
Added "Cocks Abreast Hostility - Cock Pack Two (Fowls Deep)" to the commerical expansions tab
Added Cards & Punishment v1.1 to Commercial Expansions tabs.
Added Cards & Punishment Volume 2 to Commercial Expansions tabs.
Added spreadsheet of black cards of all CAH 1.7 editions currently being sold (US, CA, UK, AU)
Added spreadsheet of white cards of all CAH 1.7 editions currently being sold (US, CA, UK, AU)
Added Vote for Hillary, Vote for Trump, Facism pack, and cards from the Trump Bug-Out Bag to CAH Expansions tabs.
Added cards from the Target Retail Product pack.
Merged Commercial Bundles and Commercial Expansions tabs into a single tab for Commercially available cards. Old ta
protected so they can be used as reference in case anything got screwed up in the process.
Added single card from The Black Box Press Kit

Added Crows Adopt Vulgarity Vol 1-4 to Commercially Available Cards tab
Lots of sets added:
Humanity Hates Trump + First Two Expansions

Crabs Adjust Humidity Vol 6.
KinderPerfect
Oh, For Humanity's Sake!
Brewer's Against Turbidity
Voter's Choice Expansions 1-4
Carps & Angsty Manatee: Texas Edition
Merged all cards from "Standalone Games" sheet to Commercially Available Cards sheet.
Merged Guards Against Insanity Vol 1-3 into Commercially Available Cards.
Merged Cords Against Harmony sets into Commercially Available Cards
Added Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Reality.
Added white cards for Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Pervertity & Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Senili
Merged all Cards Against Your Face sets into Commercially Available Cards sheet.
Merged Black & White base set tabs into a single tab. Merged black & white expansions tabs into a single sheet.
Added Guards Against Insanity 4, Wilted Green, and JadedAid to the Commercially Available sets.
Added Cats Abiding Horribly 3, Geeks vs Harsh Reality, Geeks vs Harsh Reality - Expansion 1, and The Bay Area Expansio
/u/kostinalysis added as Editor to the spreadsheet.
Updated contact information for the spreadsheet.
Consolidated Black 1.7s sheet to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Deleted Black 1.7s sheet.
Consolidated White 1.7s sheet to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Deleted White 1.7s sheet.
Added CAH Main Deck AU v1.6 response cards to the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added CaH Main Deck UK v1.5 response cards/verified UK v1.6 response cards to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Deleted the
Added Index sheet.
Added CAH Main Deck UK v1.5 prompt cards/verified UK v1.6 prompt cards to the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added CAH Main Deck AU v1.6 prompt cards to CAH Main Deck sheet. Deleted the CAH Int'l - Black sheet.
Added Release Notes to the bottom of the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added CAH Original Expansions sheet.
Moved CAH Expansions 1-6 from CAH Expansions sheet to the CAH Original Expansions sheet.
Added Release Notes for CAH Expansions 1-6.
Updated CAH Second Expansion to v1.4, and CAH Third Expansion to v1.2.
Added CAH Official sheet. Added Expansions category.
Added Red Box Expansion to the CAH Official sheet.
Added Blue Box Expansion to the CAH Official sheet.
Added place holders for Green Box Expansion and Bigger Blacker Box to the CAH Official sheet.
Verified Red Box Expansion card list.
Verified Blue Box Expansion card list.
Added release notes to Bigger Blacker Box place holder.
Added Green Box Expansion to the CAH Official sheet.
Added Box Expansion and Procedurally-Generated Cards to the CAH Official sheet.
Added Commercial Packs section to the CAH Official sheet. Added Retail Mini Pack, 90s Nostalgia Pack, Geek Pack, Sci-Fi
World Wide Web Pack, Science Pack, Food Pack, Trump Bug Out Bag/Post-Trump Pack, Vote For Hillary Pack, Vote For Tr
and Retail Product Pack.
Added Blackbox Press Kit to the Commercial Packs section of the CAH Official sheet.
Added Holiday Packs section to the CAH Official sheet. Added 2012 Holiday Pack, 2013 Holiday Pack, 2014, Holiday Pack
Added PAX Exclusives section to the CAH Official sheet. Added PAX 2012 "Oops" Kit, PAX East 2013 Promo Pack A, PAX E
PAX East 2013 Promo Pack C, PAX Prime 2013, PAX East 2014, PAX East 2014 - Panel Cards, PAX Prime 2014 - Panel Car
Pack A (Mango), PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack B (Coconut), and PAX Prime 2015 Pack C (Cherry).
Deleted the CAH - Holiday Specials sheet.
Added Limited Release Packs section to the CAH Official sheet. Added Reject Pack, Reject Pack 2, House of Cards Pack, Ta
Pack, and Hanukkah LOL Pack. Added a place holder for the Desert Bus For Hope Pack. Deleted the CAH Expansions shee
Added sheets for Third Party Commercial, Kickstarter, Stand Alone Games, Print On Demand, Special Purpose, and Fan E
Copied all sets from Commercially Available Cards sheet to their appropriate new sheets.
On the Third Party Commercial sheet: Cakes Athirst Hilarity, Vols. 1-4; Carbs of the Huge Manatee: General Expansion 1,
Online Dating Expansion 1; Cards and Punishment, Vols. 1 & 2; Carps & Angsty Manatee, Vols. 1 & 2, and Texas Edition; C
Episodes 1-3; Cocks Abreast Hostility: Cock Packs 1 & 2; Crows Adopt Vulgarity, Vols, 1-4; Guards Against Insanity, Editio
KinderPerfect; Voter's Choice, Expansions 1-4; and Words Against Morality, Vols. 1-4. Place holder for Guards Against Ins
On the Kickstarter sheet: The Bay Area Expansion; Brewers Against Turbidity; Oh, For Humanity's Sake; and Wilted Gree
Blurbs Against Buffalo and Cols Against Kentucky added.
On the Standalone Games sheet: 2016 Election Game; Bad Campaign; Cads About Matrimony and Cads About Matrimony
Hates Trump, Expansion 1, Expansion 2, and Humanity Hates The Holidays; and Skewered & Roasted.
On the Print On Demand sheet: Cards Against Your Face expansions; Cords Against Harmony; and Geeks vs Harsh Reality
Deleted Commercially Available Cards sheet.
Added Crabs Adjust Humidity, Vols. 1-6 to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Deleted the Crabs Adjust Humidity - Black
Humidity - White sheets.
Added Cruise Against Hodgman and Cards Against Gallifrey (Doctor Who Gallifrey One set) to the Special Purpose sheet
Added Cards of Mass Destruction, Bards Against Humanity, and Cards Against Gallifrey (ConventionalImprov set) to the
Added Cards of Liberty place holder on the Kickstarter sheet.
Added Not Parent Approved to the Stand Alone Games sheet.
Added Hackers Against Humanity to the Special Purpose sheet. Added Cards Against The Realm, Cards Against Archer, a
Hogwarts to the Fan Expansions sheet.
Renamed the CAH Original Expansions sheet to CAH Expansions. Updated First Expansion v1.6, Fourth Expansion v1.1, a
Moved Red Box, Blue Box, and Green Box Expansions from the CAH Official sheet to the CAH Expansions sheet.
Moved Bigger Blacker Box and Canadian Conversion Kit from the CAH Official sheet to the CAH Expansions sheet.
Renamed the CAH Official sheet to CAH Packs.
Added Cards Against Grif to the Kickstarter sheet.
Moved Canadian Conversion Kit from the CAH Expansions sheet to the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added Cruise Against Hodgman 2 and Cruise Against Hodgman 3 to the Special Purpose sheet.
Added Charlie Foxtrot to the Kickstarter sheet.
Added Cards Against Fanfiction to the Special Purpose sheet.
Added Cards Against the Empire to the Fan Expansions sheet.
Added Grognards Against Humanity to the Fan Expansions sheet.
CardsAttempt
Added Cults Against Science
Hokypokyto the Special
to the PrintPurpose sheet.
On Demand sheet. Added places holders for Cults Attempt Hokypoky 2 and C
3.
Added Fandoms Against Humanity to the Fan Expansions sheet.
Added Ladies Against Humanity to the Fan Expansions sheet.
Added Nerds Against Humanity to the Fan Expansion sheet.
Added Cats Abiding Horribly Bonus Cards and Cats Abiding Horribly Bonus Cards 2 to the Third Party Commerical sheet
Added a place holder for Hackers Against Humanity 2 to the Special Purpose sheet.
Deleted the Misc. Unofficial Decks - Black and the Misc. Unofficial Decks - White sheets.
Standardized all headers for card sets.
Created Index of card sets on the Index tab.
Wiped Links & Info sheet. Renamed sheet to Info & Links.
Updated Crabs Adjust Humidity sets in the Index with Omniclaw information. Updated Guards Against Insanity sets in th
Pack information. Updated Guards Against Insanity sets card lists on the Third Party Commercial sheet with information
Added Cols Despite Kentucky, Cols Against Kentucky 2, and Clones Attack Hilarity to the Third Party Commercial sheet.
Updated Index sheet with new locations for sets on the Third Party Commercial sheet.
Added a Known Sets section to the Index sheet and added sets that do not have card lists in the spreadsheet yet.
Added 6 cards to the Procedurally-Generated Cards section on the CAH Expansions sheet.
Added Carbs Amidst Humility to the Print On Demand sheet. Removed Carbs Amidst Humility from the Known Sets List
Added Carbs Amidst Humility to the Index and updated the locations of sets on the Print On Demand sheet in the Index o
Added 12 cards to the Procedurally-Generated Cards section on the CAH Expansions sheet.
Added Cards of Liberty to the Kickstarter sheet.
Added Kids Create Absurdity to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added columns for the number of Prompt Cards, Response Cards, Total Cards, and Comments to the Index on the Index s
Added card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Added Oh! For Humanity's Sake and Wilted Green, with card counts,
sheet.
Added Cards Against Profanity to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added 12 cards to the Procedurally-Generated Cards section on the CAH Expansions sheet; updated card count on the In
Added Cards That Trump Humanity, Cows Against Hamburgers - Patty Pack #1, and Crazy & Horrible Rabbit - Vol. 1 to th
Commercial sheet. Added all 3 sets to the Index with card counts on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Th
sheet in the Index. Removed Cows Against Hamburgers and Crazy & Horrible Rabbit from the Known Sets list on the Ind
Added Libertarians Against Humanity Vols. 1 - 4 to the Fan Expansions sheet. Added Libertarians Against Humanity to th
counts on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Fan Expansions sheet in the Index.
Added Cats Against the World and Citizens Against Hypocrisy to the Special Purpose sheet. Added both to the Index with
Index sheet. Removed Cats Against the World from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet. Updated the locations of sets
sheet in the Index.
Added Guards Against Insanity 5 to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added Guards Against Insanity 5 to the Index wit
Index sheet.
Added SuperWhoLock Against Humanity to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added SuperWhoLock Against Humanity
counts on the Index sheet. Updated locations of card sets on the Third Party Commercial sheet in the Index.
Added Kids Against Maturity to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Cards for the Masses to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added Cards for the Masses to the Index with card cou
Updated locations of card sets on the Third Party Commercial sheet in the Index. Removed Cards for the Masses from the
Index sheet.
Added Turds Against Equality, Vol. 1 to the Print On Demand sheet. Added Turds Against Equality, Vol. 1 to the Index wit
Index sheet. Removed Turds Against Equality, Vol. 1 from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added JadedAid Peace Corps Expansion to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Disgruntled Decks - Marine Corps Edition to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added 1 card to the Procedurally-Generated Cards section on the CAH Expansions sheet; updated card count on t
Added Cards Against Wizardry and Horrors Amidst Insanity to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Cards Against Wizardry to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added Cards Against Wizardry to the Index with ca
sheet. Updated the locations of card sets on the Third Party Commercial sheet in the Index. Removed Cards Against Wiza
Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added a placeholder for Cards Against Humanity: Mass Effect Pack on the CAH Pack sheet in the Limited Release section
Humanity: Mass Effect Pack to the Known Sets lists on the Index sheet.
Moved Cards for the Masses from the Third Party Commercial sheet to the Stand Alone Games sheet. Updated locations o
Party Commercial and Stand Alone Games sheets in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added JadedAid: Peace Corps Expansion Pack to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added JadedAid: Peace Corps Expan
count to the Index on the Index sheet. Removed JadedAid: Peace Corps Expansion Pack from the Known Sets list on the I
Added 2 cards to the Procedurally-Generated Cards section on the CAH Expansions sheet; updated card count on
Added Cards Against Humanity: Mass Effect Pack to the CAH Packs sheet. Added Cards Against Humanity: Mass Effect Pa
the Index on the Index sheet. Removed Cards Against Humanity: Mass Effect Pack from the Known Sets list on the Index
Added Blurbs Against Buffalo, The Worst Card Game: Colorado Edition, and The Worst Card Game: 2016 National Editio
Commercial sheet. Added Blurbs Against Buffalo, The Worst Card Game: Colorado Edition, and The Worst Card Game: 20
with card counts to the Index sheet. Updated the locations of card sets on the Third Party Commercial sheet in the Index
of cards on the Kickstarter sheet in the Index. Removed The Worst Card Game: Colorado Edition and The Worst Card Gam
Edition from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Created Custom Cards sheet. Consolidated cards from Custom - White, Custom - Black, and More Custom Cards sheets to
Deleted Custom - White, Custom - Black, and More Custom Cards sheets.
Added Cards Against Profanity, Kids Against Maturity, and Kids Create Absurdity to the Stand Alone Games sheet. Added
Kids Against Maturity, and Kids Create Absurdity to the Index with card counts on the Index sheet. Removed Cards Again
Against Maturity, and Kids Create Absurdity from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on th
sheet in the Index.
Updated link and description for Cards Against Wizardry on the Third Party Commercial sheet.
Added PAX Prime 2014 Custom Printed Cards to the CAH Packs sheet in the PAX Exclusives section. Added PAX Prime 20
Cards with card count to the Index on the Index sheet.
Added WTF Did You Say?!? to the Stand Alone Games sheet. Added WTF Did You Say?!? to the Index with card counts on
Removed WTF Did You Say?!? from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Started adding information to the Info & Links sheet (Card Types and Sheets Descriptions sections).
Added Cards Against Cybertron to the Fan Expansions sheet. Added Cards Against Cybertron to the Index with card coun
Updated locations of sets on the Fan Expansions sheet in the Index.
Added more information to the Info & Links sheet (Links & Social Media section).
Added more information to the Info & Links sheet (Online Resources for Cards section).
Added 12 response cards to Ladies Against Humanity on the Fan Expansions sheet; updated card count on the Index she
Added 13 prompt cards and 61 response cards to Nerds Against Humanity Expansions sheet; updated card count on the
Added That's What She Said Game - First Expansion, Personally Incorrect, Personally Incorrect Expansion, and Personal
to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Joshteon Vs. The World: It's A Game to the Fan Expansions sheet. Added Joshteon Vs. The World: It's A Game to th
in the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Fan Expansion sheet in the Index.
Moved Charlie Foxtrot from Kickstarter sheet to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Thir
sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Card Lab cards to the CAH Expansions sheet. Added Cards Against Humanity: Card Lab with card counts to the In
Moved Trump Bug Out Bag/Post-Trump Pack, Vote for Hillary Pack, Vote for Trump Pack, and Retail Product Pack to the
on the CAH Packs sheet. Updated locations in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added place holders for Period Pack and Weed Pack to the Commercial Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet.
Added Bill CAH Cards 1, Bill CAH Cards 2, Cads About Maternity, Cards Against Millenials, Cards Opposing Society Back I
Opposing Society Black Even Worse 1, Cards Opposing Society White 2, Cards Opposing Society 3, Chaos Aghast Vulgarit
Aghast Vulgarity Volume 1, Cards Aghast Vulgarity Volume 2; Another Sick Expansion, Chaos Aghast Vulgarity (What's In
Vulgarity The Madness Continues, Disgruntled Decks - Air Force Edition, Disgruntled Decks - Navy Edition, EMBOWAFA
CAH Wedding Edition, Trumped Up Cards: A Card Game for Adults; Trumped Up Cards: Alternative Fact: Expansion Pack
Astonishingly Excellent Wealthcare!: Expansion Pack, Cards Against Disney, Cards Against Muggles, Cards Against Potter
Rumanity to the Known Sets List on the Index sheet.
Removed the following cards from the Card Lab cards on the CAH Expansions sheet (due to cards showing up in Period P
• Pussy lips of all shapes and sizes.
• Playing with my pussy while I watch TV.
• Pulling out a never-ending tampon.
• Post-partum depression.
• A whole cheese pizza just for me.
Updated card count for Card Lab cards in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Period Pack and Weed Pack to the Commercial Packs section on the CAH Packs sheet. Added Cards Against Huma
Cards Against Humanity: Weed Pack with card counts to the Index section on the Index sheet.
Added a note about Cards Against Humanity for Her to the Notes on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added place holders for Tired of London and Cons Against Our Sanity on the Kickstarter sheet.
Added Cards Against Anime V. 4, Cards Against Anime V. 5, Cards Against Anime V. 6, Cards Against Anime V. 7, Cards Aga
Attract Matrimony, Furries Create Insanity - Volume 2, Furries Create Insanity - Volume 3, and Vanduul Against Humanit
on the Index sheet.
Added Carbs of the Huge Manatee: General Expansion 2, Carbs of the Huge Manatee: General Expansion 3, and Carbs of t
Dance Expansion 1 to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added same sets to the Index with card counts on the Index she
sets from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added HIdden Comparment Pack to the Limited Release Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet. Added Hidden Compartm
with card count on the Index sheeti
Changed Cards Against Disney to Cards Against Your Childhood in the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Changed Cards Against Muggles to The Card Game That Can't Be Named in the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Cards Against Bikini Bottom, Cards Against Rick & Morty, Cards Against Potter (First Year), Cards Against The Iro
Podcast Expansion Cards Against Hilarity to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Craps & Laughs to the Fan Expansion sheet. Added Craps & Laughs to the Index with card counts on the Index she
sets on the Fan Expansion sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added 14 response cards to Ladies Against Humanity on the Fan Expansions sheet; updated card count on the Index she
Added 5 prompt cards and 20 response cards to Nerds Against Humanity Expansions sheet; updated card count on the I
Added The Most Popular Girls Against Humanity to the Fan Expansions sheet. Added The Most Popular Girls Against Hu
card counts on the Index sheet.
Added Bad Hombres Against Fake News to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added a column for US v2.0 to the CAH Main Deck sheet in preparation for adding US v2.0 cards to the sheet. Updated th
information about v2.0 set.
Added a placeholder for Cards Against Humanity: College Pack to the Limited Release Packs section.
Removed the following cards from the Card Lab cards on the CAH Expansions sheet (due to cards showing up in the Hidd
• A blind, quadraplegic AIDS survivor with face cancer and diarrhea.
• A gossamer stream of jizz that catches the light as it arcs through the morning air.
• Digging up Heath Ledger's corpse to reenact the prom scene from Ten Things I Hate About You.
• Eight beautiful men jerking each other off in front of a fountain.
• Free ice cream forever, or getting fingered by Chris Hemsworth for five minutes.
• Getting drugs off the street and into my body.
• Hickory-fucked pork ribs smothered in hot garbage.
• How far I can get my own penis up my butt.
• How wonderful it is when my master throws the ball and I go and get it for him.
• Ruth Bader Ginsberg brutally graveling your penis.
• Throwing a baby dolphin back into the ocean with a perfect spiral.
• Throwing your hands in the air and waving them despite caring deeply.
Updated card count for Card Lab cards in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added College Pack to the Limited Release Packs section on the CAH Packs sheet. Added Cards Against Humanity: Colleg
to the Index on the Index sheet.
Added new US v2.0 cards to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Updarted card count on the Index sheet.
Removed 113 cards from the Card Lab cards on the CAH Expansions sheet (due to cards showing up in Base Set v2.0). Up
Card Lab cards in the Index on the Index sheet.
Marked Base Set US v2.0 cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added Hawaii 2 Safe Cards to the Holiday Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet. Added Cards Against Humanity: Hawaii
count to the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Hawaii 2 Custom Cards to the Fan Expansion sheet. Added Hawaii 2 Custom Cards with card count to the Index on
Updated locations of sets on the Fan Expansion sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added columns for CA, UK, and AU v2.0 to the CAH Main Deck sheet in preparation for adding v2.0 cards to the sheet.
Marked and added Prompt cards for CA v2.0 to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Updated card count for Cards Against Humani
Index on the Index sheet.
Added Humanity Hates the Holidays "Love" Edition to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Cards Against Halloween to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added a column for v1.1 to Red Box Expansion, Blue Box Expansion, and Green Box Expansion on the CAH Expansions sh
adding v1.1 cards.
Marked and added cards for Green Box Expansion v1.1 on the CAH Expansions sheet.. Updated card count for Green Box
on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the CAH Expansions sheet.
Added columns for v1.0, v1.1, and v1.2 to the 90s Nostalgia Pack on the CAH Packs sheet. Marked and added cards for ve
v1.2 for the 90s Nostalgia Pack on the CAH Packs sheet. Updated card count for the 90s Nostalgia Pack in the Index on th
Updated locations of sets on the CAH Packs sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added 1Etsy
Created cardsheet.
to theMoved
Procedurally-Generated Cards
Cards Against Wizardry, section
Cards Thaton the CAH
Trump Expansions
Humanity, sheet; updated
and SuperWhoLock card count
Against on t
Humanity
Commercial sheet to the Etsy sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Third Party Commercial sheet and Etsy sheet in the
sheet.
Added placeholder for Crabs Adjust Humidity: Volume 7 on the Third Party Commercial sheet.
Added Etsy sheet description to the Card Listing Spreadsheet Sheets Descriptions section on the Info & Links sheet.
Added Thoughts Confound Psychology to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Temporarily hid columns for v1.0 - v1.7 to mark and add CA v2.0 cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Marked and added CA v2.0 Response cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet. Updated card count for CAH Main Deck in the In
Unhid columns for v1.0 - v1.7 on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Temporarily hid columns for v1.0 - v1.7 to mark and add UK v2.0 and AU v2.0 cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Marked and added UK v2.0 and AU v2.0 cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet. Updated card count for CAH Main Deck in th
sheet. Unhid columns for v1.0 - v1.7 on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added Crabs Adjust Humidity, Vol. 7 to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added Crabs Adjust Humidity, Vol. 7 to the Ind
the Index sheet.
Restored complete black card lists for 1.7 editions of CA, UK & AU base sets.
Added Conspiracy Theory to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added a column for CA v1.7a to the CAH Main Deck sheet in preparation for marking and adding cards to the sheet.
Added Cards Against Halloween to the Etsy sheet. Added Cards Against Halloween with card count to the Index on the In
Cards Against Halloween from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Etsy sheet in the I
Added Horrors Amidst Insanity to the Etsy sheet. Added Horrors Amidst Insanity with card count to the Index on the Ind
Horrors Amidst Insanity from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Etsy sheet in the I
Added Bill CAH Cards 1, Bill CAH Cards 2, Cards Against Millenials, Cards Against Philadelphia Expansion Pack 1, Cards O
Black Pack, Cards Opposing Society Black Even Worse 1, Cards Opposing Society White 2, Cards Opposing Society 3, Cha
Question Cards, Cards Aghast Vulgarity Volume 1, Cards Aghast Vulgarity Volume 2; Another Sick Expansion, and Chaos
In A Name) to Print On Demand sheet. Added Bill CAH Cards 1, Bill CAH Cards 2, Cards Against Millenials, Cards Against
Pack 1, Cards Opposing Society Back In Black Pack, Cards Opposing Society Black Even Worse 1, Cards Opposing Society
Opposing Society 3, Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Question Cards, Cards Aghast Vulgarity Volume 1, Cards Aghast Vulgarity Vol
Expansion, and Chaos Aghast Vulgarity (What's In A Name) with card count to the Index on the Index sheet. Removed Bi
Cards 2, Cards Against Millenials, Cards Against Philadelphia Expansion Pack 1, Cards Opposing Society Back In Black Pa
Society Black Even Worse 1, Cards Opposing Society White 2, Cards Opposing Society 3, Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Question
Vulgarity Volume 1, Cards Aghast Vulgarity Volume 2; Another Sick Expansion, and Chaos Aghast Vulgarity (What's In A
Sets list on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Print On Demand sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Marked CA v1.7a cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added Desert Bus For Hope Pack to the CAH Packs sheet in the Limited Release Packs section. Added Cards Against Hum
Hope Pack with card count to the Index on the Index sheet.
Added EMBOWAFA, Holy Fucking Hell Set 1, and Holy Fucking Hell Set 2 to the Print on Demand sheet. Added EMBOWAF
1, and Holy Fucking Hell Set 2 with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Removed EMBOWAFA, Holy Fucking Hel
Hell Set 2 from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Print on Demand sheet in the Ind
Minor edits to the cards in the Weed Pack on the CAH Packs sheet.
Added v1.0 and v1.1 columns for CAH Geek Pack, Sci-Fi Pack, and Fantasy Pack, and updated pack descriptions with info
Added v1.1 cards to Red Box Expansion on the CAH Expansions sheet. Updated card count for the Red Box Expansion in
sheet. Removed 22 cards from the Card Lab Cards on the CAH Expansions sheet due to cards showing up in Red Box Exp
card count for Card Lab Cards in the Index on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on CAH Expansions sheet in the
sheet.
Added Cards Against Humanity Saves America Day One (Cards Against Humanity Stops The Wall) cards to the Limited R
the CAH Packs sheet. Added Cards Against Humanity: Saves America with card count to the Index on the Index sheet.
Removed "Getting deported." from the Card Lab cards on the CAH Expansions sheet due to the card showing up in the Ca
Saves America Day One cards. Updated card count for Card Lab cards in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Day Two (The Good News Podcast) cards to the Cards Against Humanity Save America set in the Limited Release
Packs
Updatedsheet.
RedUpdated card count
Box Expansion v1.1for Cards
cards on Against
the CAHHumanity
ExpansionsSave America
sheet. in the
Updated Index
card onfor
count theCards
IndexAgainst
sheet. Humanity: R
Index on the Index sheet. Added Blue Box Expansion v1.1 cards on the CAH Expansions sheet. Updated card count for th
Humanity: Blue Box Expansion in the Index on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the CAH Expansion sheet in
sheet.
Added Seasons Greetings Pack to the Holiday Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet. Added Cards Against Humanity: Seas
card count to the Index on the Index sheet. Edited Jew Pack to Jew Pack/Chosen People Pack, and added a note to the des
release of the Chosen People Pack on the CAH Packs sheet. Edited Cards Against Humanity: Jew Pack to Cards Against Hu
Pack/Chosen People Pack in the Index on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on CAH Packs sheet in the Index on t
Added Friends Against Humanity to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Day Three (Cards Against Humanity Redistributes Your Wealth) cards to the Cards Against Humanity Saves Amer
Release Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet. Updated card count for Cards Against Humanity Saves America in the Inde
Added Clones Attack Hilarity #2 to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Day Four (Cards Against Humanity Destroys Homework) cards to the Cards Against Humanity Saves America set
Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet. Updated card count for Cards Against Humanity Saves America on the Index sheet
Added Cards Against Security to the Special Purpose sheet. Added Cards Against Security with card count to the Index o
Updated locations of sets on the Special Purpose sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Day Five (Cards Against Humanity's Pulse of the Nation) cards to the Cards Against Humanity Saves America set i
Packs section of the CAH Packs sheet. Updated card count for Cards Against Humanity Saves America on the Index sheet
Added Day Six (Cards Against Humanity Saves Baseball) cards to the Cards Against Humanity Saves America set in the L
section of the CAH Packs sheet. Updated card count for Cards Against Humanity Saves America on the Index sheet.
Added Grads Research Psychology: General, Grads Research Psychology: Research and Publication, and Grads Research
to the Fan Expansions sheet. Added Grads Research Psychology: General, Grads Research Psychology: Research and Pub
Research Psychology: Psychology with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Fan
Index on the Index sheet.
Added Clones Attack Hilarity #2 to the Third Party Commercial sheet. Added Clones Attack Hilarity #2 with card count t
sheet. Removed Clones Attack Hilarity #2 from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume One and Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume Two to the Kickstarter sheet. Added C
Volume One and Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume Two with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Cards
Added 4 cards to theCaninity
Against Procedurally-Generated
and Cards AgainstCards section
Creativity onSpecial
to the the CAH Expansions
Purpose sheet; Cards
sheet. Added updated cardCaninity
Against count ona
Creativity with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Special Purpose sheet in the
sheet.
Added Cards Against Australia and Cards Against Bikini Bottom to the Etsy sheet. Added Cards Against Australia and Car
Bottom with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Removed Cards Against Bikini Bottom from the Known Sets lis
Updated the locations of sets on the Etsy sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Carbs Against Humanity, The Card Game That Can't Be Named, Cards Against Astronomy, Cards Against Coachella
Cards Against Humanity: Disney Edition, Cards Against Humanity: Disney Expansion, Cards Against Humanity: Los Ange
Against Librarianship, Cards Against Mars, Cards Against Misogyny to the Fan Expansions sheet. Added Carbs Against Hu
That Can't Be Named, Cards Against Astronomy, Cards Against Coachella, Cards Against Fashion, Cards Against Humanit
Against Humanity: Disney Expansion, Cards Against Humanity: Los Angeles Edition, Cards Against Librarianship, Cards
Against Misogyny with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Updated the locations of sets on the Fan Expansion s
Index sheet. Removed The Card Game That Can't Be Named from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Removed Bill CAH Cards 1 & 2 from the Print On Demand sheet due to the cards being part of the Craps & Laugh set on t
by request from the owner of the Craps & Laugh set. Removed Bill CAH Cards 1 & 2 from the Index on the Index sheet. U
on the Print On Demand sheet.
Added 4 response cards to Ladies Against Humanity on the Fan Expansions sheet; updated card count on the Index shee
Added "Next on Sky Sports: The World Champsion of ______." and "Waiting 'til marriage." cards to the CAH Main Deck she
posts indicating the existence of these cards. Updated the card counts for CAH Main Deck in the Index on the Index sheet
Added the UK Conversion Kit to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Added the UK Conversion Kit with card counts to the Index on
Added Tired of London to the Kickstarter sheet. Added Tired of London with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet
Added Humanity Hates the Holidays "Love" Edition to the Stand Alone Games sheet. Added Humanity Hates the Holiday
card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Removed Humanity Hates the Holidays "Love" Edition from the Known Sets
Added Cads About Maternity to the Stand Alone Games sheet. Added Cads About Maternity with card counts to the Inde
Removed Cads About Maternity from the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Minor edits to UK v1.6 cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Added Not Parent Approved Expansion Pack #1 and Not Parent Approved Expansion Pack #2 to the Stand Alone Games
Approved Expansion Pack #1 and Not Parent Approved Expansion Pack #2 with card counts to the Index on the Index sh
of sets on the Stand Alone Games sheet in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Babies vs. Parents, Fun in the Oven, That's What She Said Game, and That's What She Said Game - First Expansion
Games sheet. Added Babies vs. Parents, Fun in the Oven, That's What She Said Game, and That's What She Said Game - F
counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Updated locations of sets on the Stand Alone Games sheet in the Index on the Ind
Babies vs. Parents, Fun in the Oven, That's What She Said Game, and That's What She Said Game - First Expansion from t
the Index sheet.
Added an Updates column to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet; added updates to several sets in the Known Sets list
Separated Footnotes out in Carbs of the Huge Manatee sets into their own columns on the Third Party Commercial sheet
Added CAH UK v1.5 cards to the CAH Main Deck sheet. Updated card counts for Cards Against Humanity: Main Deck (All
on the Index sheet.
Added Rocky Horror Picture Show Cards Against Humanity to the Print On Demand sheet. Added Rocky Horror Picture
Humanity with card counts to the Index on the Index sheet. Removed Rocky Horror Picture Show Cards Against Humani
list on the Index sheet.
Added FUBAR: Navy Expansion, FUBAR: Marine Expansion, Cards Against Murder, and WTF, NY? to the Known Sets list
Minor edits to UK v1.5 cards on the CAH Main Deck sheet.
Made adjustments to UK v2.0 cards per this post (https://goo.gl/AfnNp2) in the CAH subreddit.
Added response card, "OH EM GEE, TOTES ADORBS!!!" to Crabs Adjust Humidity Vol. 4 on the Third Party Commercial sh
to the card counts for all of the Crabs Adjust Humidity sets in the Index on the Index sheet.
Added Trumped Up Cards "Many Sides" Expansion Pack #3 to the Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Trumped UpCards: The World's Biggest Deck*, Trumped UpCards: Alternative Facts Expansion Pack, and Trumpe
Astonishingly Excellent Wealthcare! Expansion Pack to the Stand Alone Games sheet. Added a placeholder for Trumped
Expansion Pack on the Stand Alone Games sheet. Added Trumped UpCards: The World's Biggest Deck*, Trumped UpCar
Expansion Pack, and Trumped UpCards: Astonishingly Excellent Wealthcare! Expansion Pack with card counts to the Ind
Updated locations of sets on Stand Alone Games sheet in the Index on the Index sheet. Removed Trumped UpCards: The
Trumped UpCards: Alternative Facts Expansion Pack, and Trumped UpCards: Astonishingly Excellent Wealthcare! Expan
Known Sets list on the Index sheet.
Added Bachelorettes Against Decency, Cards Against Colonialism, Carnies Against Hysteria #1 and Carnies Against Hyste
Sets list on the Index sheet.
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Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Jared Boehm
Jared Boehm
Kenn R. (SKVN)
Kenn R. (SKVN)
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Andrej Walilko
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cian
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
samushafer
Rondon
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Dan
Chris
Chris
Zach Cain
Chris
Chris
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
ciphersimian
ciphersimian
ciphersimian
Zach Cain
ciphersimian
NakedReporta
ciphersimian
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
NakedReporta
Zach Cain
NakedReporta
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
NakedReporta
NakedReporta
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Pheonix
Pheonix
Pheonix
Pheonix
Pheonix
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Zach Cain
Pheonix
Pheonix
NakedReporta
NakedReporta
cards410
cards410
cards410
cards410
cards410
cards410
cards410
cards410
cards410
Zach Cain
kostinalysis
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Card Listing Spreadsheet Card Types:
Prompt
Response
Mechanic
Card Listing Spreadsheet Sheets Descriptions:

Changes / comments
Info & Links

CAH Main Deck
CAH Expansions
CAH Packs
Third Party Commercial
Kickstarter
Stand Alone Games
Special Purpose
Print On Demand
Etsy
Fan Expansions
Custom Cards
Links & Social Media

Cards Against Humanity
Crabs Adjust Humidity
Carps & Angsty Manatee
Cards & Punishment
Cats Abiding Horribly
Guards Against Insanity
Cads About Matrimony
Carbs of the Huge Manatee
2016 Election Game
Kids Against Maturity
Not Parent Approved

Uncalled Four (The Worst Card Game)
Online Resources for Cards

CAHIdeas Subreddit
CAHIdeas Archive
CardCast
Custom Cards Against Humanity
Carderator
sheet Card Types:
Originally referred to as "Black" cards that ask questions or have fill in the blank
sentences. However, due to the proliferation of third party producers, CAH asserted
trademark/intellectual property rights over the color scheme of black and white cards
(which is in dispute) forcing third party producers to use other color schemes for their
cards.
Originally referred to as "White" cards that have nouns or phrases to respond to the
prompt cards questions or fill in the blanks.
An unofficial card type that affects game play requiring players to do certain actions.
heet Sheets Descriptions:

A change log of all changes made to the Card Listing Spreadsheet indicating date,
description of changes made, and who made the changes.
(this sheet) Information and links related to the Cards Against Humanity game.
All versions of the Cards Against Humanity base set, including international versions,
officially sold by CAH.
All versions of the Cards Against Humanity Expansions officially sold by CAH.
All the packs officially sold or released by CAH.
Sets created by third party producers as unofficial expansions or packs to the Cards
Against Humanity game, and sold commercially (Amazon, Etsy, website, etc.).
Sets funded on Kickstarter that were only available through the Kickstarter
campaign. Kickstarter sets that end up being sold commercially are added to the
Third Party Commercial or Stand Alone Games sheets.
Sets (usually themed) that are sold separately from Cards Against Humanity (i.e.,
not sold as an unofficial expansion) that can be played as its own game or combined
with Cards Against Humanity.
Sets created for special purposes like fundraising, events, etc., usually limited
release.
Sets created and sold on print on demand sites like PrinterStudio, DriveThru Cards,
The Game Crafter, etc.
Sets created and sold on Etsy. Usually as downloadable PDFs, but sometimes as printed
card sets.
Sets created by fans of Cards Against Humanity to be used with the game under a
Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license, meaning that the sets can not be
commercially sold.
Cards collected from various internet sources that are not part of any set, created
under a Creative Commons BY-NC-SA 2.0 license.
Website
CAH Store
Facebook
Twitter: @CAH
Instagram: @cardsagainsthumanity
Tumblr
Cards Against Humanity Rules (PDF)
Your Shitty Jokes Instructions (imgur posts)
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @Humid_Crabs
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @AngstyManatee
Instagram: @angstymanatee
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @PunishmentCards
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @CatsAbidingHorr
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @GAI_Cards
Instagram: @guardsagainstinsanity
YouTube
Google+
Pinterest
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @CadsAbout
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @carbsmanatee
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @election_game
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @kidsagmaturity
Instagram: @kidsagainstmaturity
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @notparentapprvd
Instagram: @notparentapproved
Google+
Pinterest
Website
Facebook
Twitter: @itsuncalledfour
Instagram: @itsuncalledfour
Cards
Set
2016 Election Game

Babies vs. Parents
Bad Campaign
Bards Against Humanity
The Bay Area Expansion
Blurbs Against Buffalo
Brewers Against Turbidity
Cads About Maternity
Cads About Matrimony: Expansion 1
Cakes Athirst Hilarity Volume 1
Carbs Against Humanity
Carbs Amidst Humility
Carbs of the Huge Manatee: Dance Expansion 1
Carbs of the Huge Manatee: General Expansion 1
Carbs of the Huge Manatee: Kink Expansion 1
Carbs of the Huge Manatee: Online Dating Expansion 1
The Card Game That Can't Be Named
Cards Against Archer
Cards Against Astronomy
Cards Against Australia
Cards Against Bikini Bottom
Cards Against Caninity
Cards Against Coachella
Cards Against Creativity
Cards Against Cybertron
Cards Against Fan Fiction
Cards Against Fashion
Cards Against Gallifrey (ConventionalImprov set)
Cards Against Gallifrey (Doctor Who Gallifrey One set)
Cards Against Grif
Cards Against Halloween
Cards Against Hogwarts
Cards Against Humanity: Disney Edition (Serg Beret)
Cards Against Humanity: Disney Expansion (Disney Lies)
Cards Against Humanity: Los Angeles Edition (L.A. Weekly)
Cards Against Humanity: Main Deck (All Versions)

Cards Against Humanity: First Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Second Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Third Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Fourth Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Fifth Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Sixth Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Red Box Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Blue Box Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Green Box Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Card Lab
Cards Against Humanity: 2012 Holiday Pack
Cards Against Humanity: 90s Nostalgia Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Bigger Blacker Box/Box Expansion
Cards Against Humanity: Blackbox Press Kit
Cards Against Humanity: Canadian Conversion Kit
Cards Against Humanity: College Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Desert Bus For Hope Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Design Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Fantasy Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Fascism Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Food Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Geek Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Hanukkah LOL Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Hawaii 2 Safe Cards
Cards Against Humanity: Hidden Compartment Pack
Cards Against Humanity: House of Cards Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Jew Pack/Chosen People Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Mass Effect Pack
Cards Against Humanity: PAX 2012 "Oops" Kit
Cards Against Humanity: PAX East 2013 Promo Pack A
Cards Against Humanity: PAX East 2013 Promo Pack B
Cards Against Humanity: PAX East 2013 Promo Pack C
Cards Against Humanity: PAX East 2014
Cards Against Humanity: PAX East 2014 - Panel Cards
Cards Against Humanity: PAX Prime 2013
Cards Against Humanity: PAX Prime 2014 - Panel Cards
Cards Against Humanity: PAX Prime 2014 Custom Printed Cards
Cards Against Humanity: PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack A (Mango)
Cards Against Humanity: PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack B (Coconut)
Cards Against Humanity: PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack C (Cherry)
Cards Against Humanity: Period Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Procedurally-Generated Cards
Cards Against Humanity: Reject Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Reject Pack 2
Cards Against Humanity: Retail Mini Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Retail Product Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Saves America
Cards Against Humanity: Sci-Fi Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Science Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Seasons Greetings Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Tabletop Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Trump Bug Out Bag/Post-Trump Pack
Cards Against Humanity: UK Conversion Kit
Cards Against Humanity: Vote For Hillary Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Vote For Trump Pack
Cards Against Humanity: Weed Pack
Cards Against Humanity: World Wide Web Pack
Cards Against Librarianship
Cards Against Mars
Cards Against Millenials
Cards Against Misogyny
Cards Against Philadelphia, Expansion Pack 1
Cards Against Profanity
Cards Against Science
Cards Against Security
Cards Against the Empire
Cards Against the Realm
Cards Against Wizardry
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Civility
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Humility
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Pervertity
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Reality
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Senility
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Stupidity
Cards and Punishment Vol. One
Cards and Punishment Vol. Two
Cards for the Masses
Cards of Liberty
Cards of Mass Destruction
Cards Opposing Society: Back In Black Pack
Cards Opposing Society: Black Even Worse 1
Cards Opposing Society: White 2
Cards That Trump Humanity
Carps & Angsty Manatee - Volume 1
Carps & Angsty Manatee - Texas Edition
Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode I - The Dirty Goblin
Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode II - A New Low
Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode III - The SJWs Strike Back
Cats Abiding Horribly Bonus Cards
Cats Abiding Horribly Bonus Cards 2
Cats Against the World
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Question Cards
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Volume 1
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Volume 2; Another Sick Expansion
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity (Whats In A Name)
Charlie Foxtrot
Citizens Against Hypocrisy
Clones Attack Hilarity #1
Cocks Abreast Hostility: Cock Pack One: Just The Tip
Cocks Abreast Hostility: Cock Pack Two: Fowls Deep
Cols Despite Kentucky
Cols Against Kentucky 2
Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume One
Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume Two
Cords Against Harmony - Volume 1
Cords Against the 80s
Cords Against Trekkies
Cows Against Hamburgers - Patty Pack #1
Crabs Adjust Humidity: Volume 1 (also in Omniclaw)
Crabs Adjust Humidity: Volume 6
Craps & Laughs - Core Set
Crazy & Horrible Rabbit - Vol. 1
Crows Adopt Vulgarity, Vol. 1
Cruise Against Hodgman
Cruise Against Hodgman 2: Cruise Harder
Cruise Against Hodgman 3: Revenge of Hodgman
Cults Attempt Hokypoky
EMBOWAFA (Eat My Butt Out With A Fork Asshole)
Fandoms Against Humanity
Ferengi Rules Against Harmony
Fun in the Oven
Geeks vs Harsh Reality
Geeks vs Harsh Reality: Expansion 1
Grads Research Psychology: General
Grads Research Psychology: Research and Publication
Grads Research Psychology: Psychology
Grognards Against Humanity
Guards Against Insanity, Edition 1 (also in Asylum Pack)
Guards Against Insanity, Edition 5
Hackers Against Humanity
Hawaii 2 Custom Cards
Holy Fucking Hell Set 1
Horrors Amidst Insanity
Humanity Hates Trump: Base Set
Humanity Hates Trump: Expansion Pack 1
Humanity Hates Trump: Expansion Pack 2 - Humanity Hates Hillary, Too
Humanity Hates Trump: Kickstarter Promo Cards
Humanity Hates The Holidays
Humanity Hates The Holidays "Love" Edition
JadedAid
JadedAid: Peace Corps Expansion Pack
Joshteon Vs. The World: It's A Game
Kids Create Absurdity
KinderPerfect
Ladies Against Humanity
Libertarians Against Humanity - Vol. 1
The Most Popular Girls Against Humanity
Nerds Against Humanity
Not Parent Approved
Not Parent Approved Expansion Pack #1
Rocky Horror Picture Show Cards Against Humanity
Skewered And Roasted
SuperWhoLock Against Humanity
That's What She Said Game
That's What She Said Game - First Expansion
Tired of London
Trumped UpCards: The World's Biggest Deck*
Trumped UpCards: Alternative Facts Expansion Pack
Trumped UpCards: Astonishingly Excellent Wealthcare! Expansion Pack
Turds Against Equality, Vol. 1
Voter's Choice: The First Expansion
Voter's Choice: The Second Expansion
Voter's Choice: The Third Expansion
Voter's Choice: The Fourth Expansion
Wilted Green
Words Against Morality: Volume 1
The Worst Card Game: Colorado Edition
The Worst Card Game: 2016 National Edition
WTF Did You Say?!?
Known Sets; Card Lists Needed

Note: Known sets that do not appear in this list, but are not yet in the Card Listing Spreadsheet, are in the process of
being transcribed to be added to the spreadsheet.
206 Geek Podcast Expansion Cards Against Hilarity

This is a Digital Collection of the "custom" cards that i have in my CaH Deck. many of the cards reference local
places in the greater Seattle area others are just funny and or disturbing.
A Game for Good Christians
Contains the 300-cards original game: 60 Creed Cards (Prompt) and 240 Canon (Response) Cards.
A Game for Good Christians: Expansion Deck: Why We Can't Have Nice Things
A Game for Good Christians: Expansion Deck: Wisdom Books
This expansion deck draws its content from the books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Songs of Solomon.
A Game for Good Christians: Expansion Deck: The Blessings of God: A Kinder, Gentler Expansion Deck!
This expansion deck is comprised of Biblical blessings (and curses on other people which, let’s be honest, are
blessings).
Expansion Deck:
A Game for Good Christians: [Expanded ThingsThe
Expansion]: ThatRed
Make TheDeck:
Letter Baby The
JesusWords
Cry and Actions of Jesus the
Christ
This expanded expansion deck is based on the words and actions of our Lord and savior, Jesus the Christ.
Bachelorettes Against Decency
A fun Cards Against Humanity style game to break the ice at your bachelorette party! Irreverent and outrageous -
this is a game for adult players only.
Bad
To beHombres Against
played with FakeThis
friends! Newsgame works with Cards Against Humanity and other similar games. This unofficial
expansion pack will give you and your friends the perfect party game. It contains 90 white cards and 30 black
cards.
Bards Dispense Profanity: A party game based on the works of William Shakespeare
To be profane, or not to be? Bards Dispense Profanity is 100 mock-serious questions for our time and 375 answers
copied word-for-word from the works of William Shakespeare. You be the judge of which answers are best. All the
world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely playas.
Cards appears to be a different size than CAH cards.
Blinks Abhor Society
Blinks Abhor Society is an expansion intended to be used with Cards Against Humanity containing a group of cards
specifically themed around the blind society.
These cards are written by blind people for blind people and the people unfortunate enough to be spending time
with them.
Carbs of the Huge Manatee - Fantasy and Science Fiction 1
Currently not available. Stupid references based on random quotes and concepts from the Dresden Files, Babylon 5,
Jonathan Coulton, Blues music, hatred of Twilight, and 35+ years of love of scifi and fantasy.
Carbs of the Huge Manatee - Austin & Texas 1
Currently not available. From our tendency to elect "interesting" choices to dietary and dirinking habits, we have a
Texas-size pack just for you.
Carbs of the Huge Manatee - Business 1
Currently not available. This is a combination of random observations of tech and business combined with
semantically-empty bullshit from emails from a VP in a Fortune 500 company. The ;full title would actually be,
"Business, bullshit, buzzwords, and bingo" if I was going for the alliteration. Add this to your real Cards Against
Humanity™ deck and expansions when you're ready to put your shoulder to the wheel, your nose to the grindstone,
engage in synergistic solutions, and move forward into the future while checking out that hot intern..
Cards About Toronto - The Game
Sold Out - Only a 1000 limited edition sets were sold.
Cards About Toronto is a game that is sure to please any Torontonian with a twisted sense of humour!
Cards Against Colonialism
We are stronger when we laugh and humor makes it easier to talk about difficult issues. Cards Against Colonialism
attempts to embrace the modern Native Culture, and allows us to learn and laugh at the same time.
Cards Against Murder
Step up your snark with Cards Against Murder, a My Favorite Murder themed unofficial Cards Against Humanity
expansion. This set is a full digital copy that comes with 200 white cards, 85 black cards, and white and black card
backs. Featuring Paul Onions, Red Flags, and Hardcore Vague Postulating, this game is fun alone or as an addition to
a Cards Against Humanity Set.
Cards Against Potter
This is the full downloadable version of Cards Against Potter.
It contains nearly 1500 cards! For the sake of scale Cards Against Humanity with all the expansions has 305 black
cards and 1587 white cards. Buying all those would cost $161.00
387 black cards

1071 white cards
Also Includes a formatted file with the game's logo for the card backing.
Perfect for Harry Potter and CAH fans. It will have the whole group laughing at the horrible and twisted answers
you and your friends come up with.
Cards Against Rick & Morty
Our (unofficial) Rick and Morty edition of CAH. Designed for ages 18+ Adult content.
Cards Against Rick and Morty is loaded with references from the show !
Perfect for Rick and Morty and CAH fans. It will have the whole group laughing at the horrible and twisted answers
you and your friends come up with.
CardsisAgainst
This Rumanity
an instant digital download that includes 99 black cards and 216 white cards for Cards Against Rumanity!
While there are sufficient cards to be played as a stand alone game, they are sized identically and integrate
hilariously into standard CAH decks. Download also includes blank pages to allow creation of new cards as season
9 unfolds!
Cards Against The Iron Throne
Our (unofficial) Game of Thrones edition of CAH. Designed for ages 18+ Adult content.
Cards Against The Iron Throne is loaded with references from the books and show!
Perfect for GOT and CAH fans. It will have the whole group laughing at the horrible and twisted answers you and
your friends come up with.
Cards Against Your Childhood
Formerly listed as Cards Against Disney; they had to change the name due to copyright reasons.
Our (unofficial) Disney edition of CAH.

Cards Against Your Childhood is loaded with references from Disney movies, shows, and more !
Perfect for Disney fans looking for a twisted laugh. It will have the whole group laughing at the horrible and twisted
answers you and your friends come up with.
Cards Opposing Society Back In Black Pack
A Printer's Studio Custom Cards deck.
Cards Opposing Society Black Even Worse 1
Cards Opposing Society White 2
Cards Opposing Society White 3
Cards Without Decency Party Game
A party game for adults with no_________. A simple game of fill in the blanks that will have you _____ing for hours!.
Carnies Against Hysteria #1
Carnies Against Hysteria #1 is an unofficial expansion pack to the popular Cards Against Humanity game.
Carnies Against Hysteria #2
Carnies Against Hysteria #2 is an unofficial expansion pack to the popular Cards Against Humanity game.
Casters Against the Multiverse
The world's most successful collectible card game meets the world's most infamous party card game.
This is a 150 card unofficial expansion for Cards Against Humanity. It requires that game and is practically useless
without it.
This box contains 70 White Cards and 30 Black Cards, as well as 8 blank cards (2 and 6 of each white and black).
This set also had a Kickstarter, but it was not successfully funded.
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity The Madness Continues
Another installment of cards for use with CAH and A2A.
Cinema Amongst Hilarity - Mega Movie Pack: Volume 1
72 new cards (20 black, 52 white) that are based on movies that will fit right in with your regular Cards Against
Humanity deck! Extend the life of your game with cards based on crowd favorites like Jurassic World, Home Alone
and American Pie, or go deeper with cards based on The Third Man and Whiplash, plus many, many more.
Cinema Amongst Hilarity - Mega Movie Pack: Volume 2
72 more cards (20 black, 52 white) that are also based on movies that will still fit right in with your regular Cards
Against Humanity set! This one features cards based on Back to the Future, The Revenant, The Hangover,
Ghostbusters, and more!
Cinema Amongst Hilarity - Kevin Smith Pack
Snoochie-boochies! 72 cards (20 black, 52 white) that are based on the hilarious films of Kevin Smith. These cards
are designed for people who love Kevin Smith movies, so if you play with people who don't know who Steve-Dave
is, they probably shouldn't be your friend anyway. However, this pack features plenty of cards that perfectly blend
into the regular Cards Against Humanity game. This pack features quotes and subjects from Clerks, Mallrats,
Chasing Amy and Dogma.
Clowns Admit Humility
Includes 72 White Cards & 36 Black Cards
A third-party, unofficial & not authorized expansion to the popular party game Cards Against Humanity.™
Conservatives Against Humility
Conservatives against Humility is an unofficial expansion for Cards against Humanity. It features cards inspired by
contemporary American Republicans and Conservative figures, including current Presidential candidates and well-
known commentators. Relive the boasts, claims and follies of America's right, restructured to fit the syntax of Cards
against Humanity and split up to fit on little cards. If you want to keep reliving the horror of Donald Trump's penis
apparently being long and beautiful, or that weird JEB Bush gun thing, as well as classics from figures like Sarah
Palin, this is the expansion for you.
Conspiracy Theory
This fast-playing black card/white card game will reward your ability to sell your deranged ideas to the other
players.
In Conspiracy Theory, you explore who’s really doing what, to whom, and why . . . and how they are keeping it
secret. And you have to convince the other players that your theory is best.
This is a stand-alone game by Illuminati designer Steve Jackson, for 3 or more players, and it takes an hour or more
to play.
Conspiracy Theory is NOT an “adults only” game. Neither is it a game where the referee has the lion’s share of the
fun. It is designed for active involvement by every player in every round.
Cooks Attract Matrimony
On July 7, 2015 Alia Willingham and Stephen Atwell got married. Because the proposal was over a game of cards
against humanity ... each invite included cards with our names, dates, and location. However ... some also got a
random card from the full pack. This is the full pack. It does not have out names, date, or location ... because you
either have those, or do not want them. But it has every other horrible card we thought of (and liked) that
described the horrible relationship that is the rest of our life. Enjoy!
Cults Attempt Hokypoky 2 - Electric Boogaloo
Cults Attempt Hokypoky 3 - The Return of the Hokypoky
Dick: A card game based on the novel by Herman Melville
100 mock-serious questions for our times.
375 answers taken word-for-word from Moby-Dick.
Surpassingly hilarious.
It’s the game where meaning is plural and unstable, often with some kind of dick joke thrown in for good measure:
a faithful adaptation of Moby-Dick to the form of a party game.
Cards appear to be a different size than CAH cards.
DisCards Vol. 1
An unofficial, unauthorized, uncensored "Cards Against Humanity" parody expansion all about the Mouse! Includes
54 irreverent new cards (40 white, 14 black) to mix into your deck.
Created by Redditor Boggandy
Disgruntled Decks - Air Force Edition
"Disgruntled Decks is a card game for military service members and grizzled Veterans who enjoy laughing together
about their time in the service. With a unique blend of descriptive language and military themes, Disgruntled
Decks gives one more reason for service members and Veterans to talk about their shared experiences while
having fun in the process.
Our message is simple: Humor through healing, and some Veterans still have a good amount of healing left to do.
We hope to provide some of that humor with Disgruntled Decks."
Disgruntled Decks - Army Edition
Disgruntled Decks is a card game for military service members and grizzled Veterans who enjoy laughing together
We hope to provide some of that humor with Disgruntled Decks.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on March 3, 2016 raising $147,526 with 3,527 backers. Released on August 13,
2016.
Disgruntled Decks - Coast Guard Edition
Disgruntled Decks - Marine Corps Edition/Jarhead-Themed Deck
Disgruntled Decks - Navy Edition
Friends Against Humanity
A Friends themed set being sold on Etsy with 72 prompt cards and 126 response cards.
F.U.B.A.R. Card Game
Are you a veteran? A terrible person? Do you define political correctness as that thing only people you could beat in
a knife fight are about? If you answered yes to any of these questions then FUBAR is the game to take your parties
and field exercises from good to barely legal. FUBAR is an irreverent, military-themed party game guaranteed to
make you lose friends and create enemies. The base game includes cards from all military services, but is inclusive
enough for civilians to join in the terrible fun.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on February 26, 2016 raising $72,627 with 1,625 backers. Released on August
22, 2016.
F.U.B.A.R. Army Expansion Pack
The Army expansion deck contains 33 incredibly specific prompt cards and 77 answer cards created for our
nation's largest military branch. While it can be played by itself, we recommend use with the base game. FUBAR
was created by the team at War Games LLC, a collective of veteran writers from the military satire website Duffel
Blog and their funniest friends from every branch of the service.
FUBAR:
The thirdNavy Expansion
iteration of our breakout hit FUBAR focuses on the Navy, providing specialized hilarity for our water-
dwelling friends. Once you're done scrubbing the poop deck, it's time to play the only FUBAR augment packed full
of seamen. If Chief doesn't let you rest long enough for a game, just hide in the engine room! It worked for that one
guy, after all.
FUBAR: Marine Expansion
The fourth iteration of our breakout hit FUBAR focuses on the Marine Corps military branch, providing specialized
hilarity for only the Devilest of Dogs. When you get around to getting your hands out of your daggone pockets,
Marines, how about you sit down and play the FUBAR addition that would make Chesty Puller cry tears of JP-8.
Furries Create Insanity - Volume 1
An oddly sticky and unauthorized Furry expansion for the acclaimed Cards Against Humanity™. We've come up
with 112 kink-shaming, dog-mongling cards that should be kept under lock and key right next to your collection of
plushies that have a...little something extra. Printed on luxurious endangered cheetah pelt, these cards should be
not be handled with kid gloves. In fact, don't let children anywhere near them. We're pretty sure that gets you ten
years in the kennel.
The Unofficial Expansion You Never Knew You Wanted PART 2
Offending humanity with the card game version of a hate crime was bad enough, but with furries, you're going to
need a whole new set of collectible cardboard rectangles.
This is Furries Create Insanity, an oddly sticky and unauthorized Furry expansion for the acclaimed Cards Against
Humanity™. We've come up with 112 ALL NEW kink-shaming, dog-mongling cards that should be kept under lock
and key right next to your collection of plushies that have a...little something extra. Printed on luxurious
endangered cheetah pelt, these cards should be not be handled with kid gloves. In fact, don't let children anywhere
near them. We're pretty sure that gets you ten years in the kennel.
The Unofficial Expansion You Never Knew You Wanted PART 3
Offending humanity with the card game version of a hate crime was bad enough, but with furries, you're going to
need a whole new set of collectible cardboard rectangles.
This is Furries Create Insanity, an oddly sticky and unauthorized Furry expansion for the acclaimed Cards Against
Humanity™. We've come up with 112 ALL NEW kink-shaming, dog-mongling cards that should be kept under lock
and key right next to your collection of plushies that have a...little something extra. Printed on luxurious
endangered cheetah pelt, these cards should be not be handled with kid gloves. In fact, don't let children anywhere
near them. We're pretty sure that gets you ten years in the kennel.
Hackers Against Humanity 2
This set was given out at DEFCON22. A few pictures were posted to social media, but we have not been able to find
a card list for this set.
Horrible Group CAH Wedding Edition
A set of horrible cards about weddings to commemorate a horrible wedding.
KeepYourShirtOnCov: Balls Deep Cincinnati Football & Baseball Expansion Pack
Get Balls Deep. From Pete Rose's underwear ads (they're real!) to French Braiding Peko's luxurious locks you'll
crack your friends up until Marge Schott turns over in her grave.
KeepYourShirtOnCov: Cincinnati Against All Sanity Expansion Pack
54 hilariously offensive cards about the best and worst parts of Cincinnati from Ice Skating on Fountain Square to
Trying to Explain Norwood to Someone.
KeepYourShirtOnCov: Covington Against All Sanity Expansion Pack
A hilariously offensive unofficial expansion pack that loves and loves to mock Covington, OH.
KeepYourShirtOnCov: Kentucky Against All Sanity Expansion Pack
An entire pack about the Bluegrass State! From Ashley Judd's untrimmed bush to yet another incest joke you'll
amaze and offend anyone within this backwards little state of ours.
KeepYourShirtOnCov: Ohio Against All Sanity Expansion Pack
An entire pack about the Buckeye State! From a weekend at Hocking Hills to a Cleveland Steamer you'll amaze and
offend until Lebron's cramps stop.
KeepYourShirtOnCov: Queer Against All Sanity
Celebrate Pride with our unofficial add on pack for Cards Against Humanity- Queers Against All Sanity! This
hilarious expansion is guaranteed to freshen up your Cards Against Humanity game as well as raise a few
eyebrows. Developed for Pride season, this pack has a broad appeal with jokes covering major issues and people
from all over this great country.
Knitters Against Swatches First Edition
A 36 card, knitting-themed, unofficial expansion for Cards Against Humanity.

Knitters Against Swatches Second Edition
A knitting-themed, unofficial expansion for Cards Against Humanity.

Muse Against Humanity
Muse themed cards that can be used as an accessory to other card based games. 77 white cards, and 30 black.
Contains explicit material (that means swearing and cursing). 10% of all profits will be donated to The Helen
Foundation
Noisebridge Against Humanity
LEDs, sawdust, code, micro controllers, and arguments over mailing lists! We've attempted to squeeze the good and
bad of Noisebridge and Hackerspaces into a 550 card, "Cards Against Humanity" (CC-BY-NC-SA 2.0) style deck. Play
it stand alone, or fold your favorite cards into your current curated Cards Against Humanity deck.
All proceeds help fund Noisebridge a non-profit 501(c)3 corporation.
Peaks Against Society
Do you love Twin Peaks? Do you love crazy card games? Then this unofficial Twin Peaks expansion deck is for you.
These hilarious cards can be mixed in with other fill in the blank style card games to add a bit of Twin Peaks to your
game night. Included are 36 original cards.
Personally Incorrect
Personally Incorrect, the appalling game that will make you hate what you think and love what you play! This game
is sexist, ageist, racist, and downright dirty. Not only do you get to make up absolutely outrageous allegations, but
you get to make them up about someone sitting right at your table! If you're playing with close friends - watch out!
Inside jokes and embarrassing facts might just take center stage.
Personally Incorrect Expansion
Our designers have done it again! Reaching into the most horrendous and disgusting parts of their minds and the
internet to bring you our first expansion!
Personally Incorrect Expansion 2
Expansion Number 2 for Personally Incorrect. Yes, yet again we have tons of horrendous content jam-packed into
this box.
Rotten Apples: The Tasteless Adult Party Game
Rotten Apples is the hilarious (and often tasteless) adult party game where a wicked sense of humor is greatly
rewarded Combine green answer cards and brown prompt cards to complete phrases that are funny. . .
irreverent...provocative! Get your friends talking with these fun topics and discover how rotten they really are.
Rotten Apples. Slightly Rotten, totally fun!
Speech Against Society
A fan expansion.
Teatime's Games: Cards Against Anime V.1
An unofficial, unauthorized, 3rd party expansion pack for Cards Against Humanity
Teatime's Games: Cards Against Anime V. 4
Teatime's Games: Cards Against Anume V. 6
Teatime's Games: Cards Against Equestria V.1
Teatime's Games: Cards Against Equestria V.2
Teatime's Games: Cards Against Gallifrey V.1
TeslaCards Against the World Set 1
This hilarious adaptation of the famous Cards Against Humanity franchise celebrates all things Steampunk in a
gloriously naughty Victorian fashion. Assembled by the staff and attendees of the famous TeslaCon Steampunk
convention this set features 120 cards of Steam powered hilarity for the most unashamedly scandalous of
Steampunks. Ages 18+ only!
TeslaCards Against the World Set 2
This hilarious adaptation of the famous Cards Against Humanity franchise celebrates all things Steampunk in a
gloriously naughty Victorian fashion. Assembled by the staff and attendees of the famous TeslaCon Steampunk
convention this set features 120 cards of Steam powered hilarity for the most unashamedly scandalous of
Steampunks. Playable as a stand alone or add into to Set 1 for more fun! Ages 18+ only!
Thought Confound Psychology
If you love the Cards Against Humanity Game and are a psychology enthusiast then you have to have this game.
Each statement is related to psychology (you need to have probably taken Psychology 101 at some point in your life
to appreciate it), but what makes this game different from CAH is that we know that you psychology people love to
analyze behavior so we have included 1/3 of the statement cards to be specifically about your playmates behavior.
You win the card if everyone agrees that you deserve it.
Trumped Up Cards
Are you tired "Manyyet?
of winning Sides" Expansion
Okay, Pack are.
you probably #3 But it's only 2018, so you've got a lot more winning to do
whether you like it or not. That's why Trumped Up Cards Expansion Packs exist, and why we hope you can see your
way clear to playing Trumped Up Cards regularly with friends, family, and very fine people on all sides (of the
border).
Turds Against Equality: The Fat Pack
35 card expansion pack. Requires Cards Against Humanity base set.
A snack-sized pack about fat Jacks that attack snacks.
Because let's be honest, fat people are fucking grotesque.
Alternate title: Carbs Against Obesity.
The epitome of fat shaming
61.3% of Americans will not find this funny.
100% medically accurate
Vanduul Against Humanity
Unofficial, Star Citizen themed expansion for Cards Against Humanity
Into the Star Citizen community? Need a game to play at fan events? Want to show off your humorous knowledge of
Star Citizen memes? THIS IS THE GAME FOR YOU!!
Vanduul Against Humanity is a fan-made collaboration project to create an unofficial Cards Against Humanity
expansion. Sourced from the Bar Citizens, the RSI forums, Reddit and elsewhere, this is a passion project sourced
from a million Citizens.
WTF, NY?
Here in the city that never sleeps, anything can happen; we've all had things happen to us that will be told as stories
for years to come. Reminisce about that time that you got yelled at by a homeless guy, or any of the scenarios that
the cards depict. Certain things will only happen here; where else can you step in horse shit surrounded by
Broadway musicals? WTF, NY? Pays homage to that. Grab a group of friends and share some craft beers, or
whatever you like, sit down and go nuts.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on June 15, 2016 raising $7,090 with 293 backers.
Sheet Starting Cell Prompt Cards Response Cards Total Cards
Stand Alone Games A1 50 198 248

Fan Expansions A1 8 32 40
Kickstarter A1 35 105 140
Third Party Commercial A1 18 54 72
Kickstarter E1 18 68 86
Stand Alone Games M1076 30 155 185
Stand Alone Games G1076 25 85 110
Third Party Commercial H80 30 80 110
Third Party Commercial P80 30 80 110
Third Party Commercial V80 30 80 110
Fan Expansions E1 106 162 268
Print On Demand A1 23 74 97
Fan Expansions I1 127 367 494
Fan Expansions M1 115 255 370
Fan Expansions Q1 105 415 520
Etsy A1 126 523 649
Etsy E1 213 465 678
Special Purpose A1 20 79 99
Fan Expansions U1 19 53 72
Special Purpose E1 30 90 120
Fan Expansions Y1 94 240 334
Special Purpose I1 24 24 48
Special Purpose M1 14 40 54
Kickstarter I1 15 39 54
Etsy I1 350 524 874
CAH Main Deck A4 232 1096 1328

CAH Expansions A1 28 112 140
CAH Expansions L1 73 267 340
CAH Expansions S1 0 248 248
CAH Packs A118 7 23 30
CAH Packs G118 9 21 30
CAH Packs N118 7 24 31
CAH Packs N80 0 1 1
CAH Packs T363 5 19 24
CAH Packs Y337 0 15 15
CAH Packs Y183 0 106 106
CAH Packs G297 10 24 34
CAH Packs A4 2 3 5
Print On Demand E1 43 172 215
Print On Demand I1 7 28 35
Special Purpose Q1 133 323 456
Special Purpose U1 16 133 149
Etsy M1 31 86 117
Print On Demand M223 20 55 75
Print On Demand Q223 22 55 77
Print On Demand U223 20 55 75
Kickstarter M1 60 340 400
Etsy Q1 15 38 53
Special Purpose Y1 9 27 36
Special Purpose A464 16 38 54
Kickstarter R1 25 96 121
Kickstarter V1 25 87 112
Special Purpose E464 18 54 72
Special Purpose I464 14 40 54
Special Purpose M464 18 54 72
Special Purpose Q464 80 280 360
Etsy U1 12 24 36
Stand Alone Games S2413 30 79 109
Stand Alone Games Y2413 30 80 110
Stand Alone Games AC2413 30 80 110
Kickstarter A408 40 158 198
Etsy Y1 40 199 239
Kickstarter E408 58 166 224
Kickstarter I408 40 158 198
Updates
PDF purchased; pending
transcription
Cards transcribed
Set purchased; pending

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Cards transcribed

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2 different sets of PDFs
received; pending
transcription/comparis
on

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Funded on Kickstarter;
pending release
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No longer available for
purchase

purchase

purchase

purchase
purchase

purchase

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Set purchased; cards
transcribed
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Comments
Reflects number of cards in CLS; accounts for all versions; purchased sets have 90 P, 460 R cards, up to v1.7; v2.0 sets an
Reflects number of cards in CLS; accounts for all versions; purchased sets have 20 P, 80 R cards.
Reflects number of cards in CLS; accounts for all versions; purchased BBB sets have 20 R cards, plus special cards depen
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http://cardsagainsthumanity.com/
Edition
Cards Against Humanity: Main Deck
______ + ______ = ______.

______ is a slippery slope that leads to ______.
______:
______: good to themother-approved.
kid-tested, last drop.
______: Once you pop, the fun don't stop!
______? Jim'll fix it!
______? There's an app for that.
______? Yeah, nah.
______. Betcha can't have just one!
______. High five, bro.
______. It's a trap!
______. That was so metal.
______. That's how I want to die.
______. That's why mums go to Iceland.
★✰✰✰✰ Do NOT go here! Found _____ in my Kung Pao chicken!
50% of all marriages end in ______.
A recent laboratory study shows that undergraduates have 50% less sex after being exposed to ______.
A romantic, candlelit dinner would be incomplete without ______.
ABC presents: "______: The Story of ______."
After eight years in the White House, how is Obama finally letting loose?
After four platinum albums and three Grammys, it's time to get back to my roots, to what inspired me to make music in t
place: ______.
After Hurricane Katrina, Sean Penn brought ______ to all the people of New Orleans.
After the earthquake, Sean Penn brought ______ to the people of Haiti.
Air Canada guidelines now prohibit ______ on airplanes.
Airport security guidelines now prohibit ______ on airplanes.
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative powers of ______.
And the Academy Award for ______ goes to ______.
And the BAFTA for ______ goes to ______.
Anthropologists have recently discovered a primitive tribe that worships ______.
Arby's: We Have ______.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking, B1? I think I am, B2: it's ______ time!
As my New Year's resolution, I vow to give up ______.
As the mom of five rambunctious boys, I'm no stranger to ______.
As the mum of five rambunctious boys, I'm no stranger to ______.
BILLY MAYS HERE FOR ______.
Bravo's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with ______.
Brought to you by Bud Light®, the Official Beer of ______.
Brought to you by Molson Canadian, the Official Beer of ______.
Brought to you by XXXX Gold, the Official Beer of ______.
But before I kill you, Mr. Bond, I must show you ______.
CBC presents "___: the Story of ___."
Channel 4 presents ______, the story of ______.
Channel 5's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with ______.
Channel 9 is pleased to present its new variety show, "Hey Hey It's ______."
Check me out, yo! I call this dance move "______."
Click Here for ______!!!
Coming to Broadway this season, ______: The Musical.
Coming to the West End this year, ______: The Musical.
Crikey! I've never seen ______ like this before! Let's get a bit closer.
CTV presents "______: the Story of ______."
Daddy, why is mommy crying?
Daddy, why is mummy crying?
Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with ______ and would like your advice.
Dear Agony Aunt, I'm having some trouble with ________ and I need your advice.
Dude, do not go in that bathroom. There's ______ in there.
Dude, do not go in that washroom. There's ______ in there.
Due to a PR fiasco, Walmart no longer offers ______.
During his childhood, Salvador Dali produced hundreds of paintings of ______.
During Picasso's often-overlooked Brown Period, he produced hundreds of paintings of ______.
During sex, I like to think about ______.
For my next trick, I will pull ______ out of ______.
Fun tip! When your man asks you to go down on him, try surprising him with ______ instead.
Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the doors
And there is ______.
Hey guys, welcome to Boston Pizza! Would you like to start the night off right with ______?
Hey guys, welcome to Chili's! Would you like to start the night off right with ______?
Hey guys, welcome to Sizzler! Would you like to start the night off right with ______?
Hey guys, welcome to TGIF! Would you like to start the night off right with ______?
Hey Reddit! I'm ______. Ask me anything.
How am I maintaining my relationship status?
How did I lose my virginity?
I do not know with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with ______.
I drink to forget ______.
I get by with a little help from ______.
I got 99 problems but ______ ain't one.
I know when that hotline bling, that can only mean one thing: ______.
I never truly understood ______ until I encountered ______.
I wish I hadn't lost the instruction manual for ______.
I'm going on a cleanse this week. Nothing but kale juice and ______.
I'm Lebron James, and when I'm not slamming dunks, I love ______.
I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure what you're suffering from is called "______."
I'm sorry, Professor, but I couldn't complete my homework because of ______.
I'm sorry, Sir, but I couldn't complete my homework because of ______.
If you can't be with the one you love, love ______.
IF you like ______, YOU MIGHT BE A REDNECK.
In 1,000 years, when paper money is a distant memory, how will we pay for goods and services?
In 1,000 years, when paper money is but a distant memory, ______ will be our currency.
In a world ravaged by ______, our only solace is ______.
In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the National Museum
Smithsonian of Australia
Museum hasHistory
of Natural openedhas
anopened
interactive exhibit on exhibit
an interactive ______. o
______.
In Australia, ______ is twice as big and twice as deadly.
In Belmarsh Prison, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for ______.
In her latest feature-length film, Tracy Beaker struggles with ______ for the first time.
In his new summer comedy, Rob Schneider is ______ trapped in the body of ______.
In L.A. County Jail, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for ______.
In M. Night Shyamalan's new movie, Bruce Willis discovers that ______ had really been ______ all along.
In Michael Jackson's final moments, he thought about ______.
In the new Disney Channel Original Movie, Hannah Montana struggles with ______ for the first time.
In Wormwood Scrubs, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for ______.
Instead of coal, Father Christmas now gives the bad children ______.
Instead of coal, Santa now gives the bad children ______.
Introducing the amazing superhero/sidekick duo! It's ______ and ______!
Introducing X-Treme Baseball! It's like baseball, but with ______!
It’s a pity that kids these days are all getting involved with ______.
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mom. Thanks for ______."
Just once, I'd like to hear you say "Thanks, Mum. Thanks for ______."
Just saw this upsetting video! Please retweet!! #stop______
Kids, I don't need drugs to get high. I'm high on ______.
Life for Aboriginal people was forever changed when the white man introduced them to ______.
Life for American Indians was forever changed when the White Man introduced them to ______.
Life was difficult for cavemen before ______.
Lifetime® presents "______: the Story of ______."
Major League Baseball has banned ______ for giving players an unfair advantage.
Make a haiku.
Mate, do not go in that bathroom. There's ______ in there.
Mate, do not go in that toilet. There's ______ in there.
Maybe she's born with it. Maybe it's ______.
Men's Wearhouse: You're gonna like ______. I guarantee it.
Military historians remember Alexander the Great for his brilliant use of ______ against the Persians.
Mr. and Mrs. Diaz, we called you in because we're concerned about Cynthia. Are you aware that your daughter is ______?
MTV's new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with ______.
My fellow Americans: Before this decade is out, we will have ______ on the moon!
Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of ______.
Next on ESPN2: The World Series of ______.
Next on Nine's Wide World of Sports: The World Championship of ______.
Next on Sky Sports: The World Championship of ________.
Next on Sky Sports: The World Champsion of ________.

Next on TSN: The World Series of ______.
Next up on Channel 4: Ramsay's ______ Nightmares.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition. Our chief weapons are fear, surprise, and ________.
Now at the National Museum of Australia: an interactive exhibit on ______.
Now at the Natural History Museum: an interactive exhibit on ______.
Now at the Royal Ontario Museum: an interactive exhibit on ______.
Now at the Smithsonian: an interactive exhibit on ______.
O Canada, we stand on guard for ______.
Oi! Show us ______!
Old MacDonald had ______. E-I-E-I-O.
Penalty! ______: that's 5 minutes in the box!
Qantas now prohibits ______ on airplanes.
Rumor has it that Vladimir Putin's favorite dish is ______ stuffed with ______.
Skidamarink a dink a dink, skidamarink a doo, I love ______.
Sorry everyone, I just ______.
Step 1: ______.
Step 2: ______.
Step 3: Profit.
Studies show that lab rats navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to ______.
TFL apologizes for the delay in train service due to ______.
That's right, I killed ______. How, you ask? ______.
The class field trip was completely ruined by ______.
The Natural History Museum has just opened an interactive exhibit on ________.
The new Chevy Tahoe. With the power and space to take ______ everywhere you go.
The school excursion was completely ruined by ______.
The school field trip was completely ruined by ______.
The school trip was completely ruined by ______.
The Smithsonian Museum of Natural History has just opened an interactive exhibit on ______.
The TFL apologizes for the delay in train service due to ________.
The theme for next year's Eurovision Song Contest is "We are ________."
The U.S. has begun airdropping ______ to the children of Afghanistan.
They said we were crazy. They said we couldn't put ______ inside of ______. They were wrong.
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but with ______.
This season at Steppenwolf, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waitng for ______.
This season at the old Vic, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waitng for ______.
This season at the Princess of Wales Theatre, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waiting for ______.
This season at the Sydney Opera House, Samuel Beckett's classic existential play: Waiting for ______.
Today on Jerry Springer: "Help! My son is ______!"
Today on Maury: "Help! My son is ______!"
Today on The Jeremy Kyle Show: "Help! My son is ________!"
TSA guidelines now prohibit ______ on airplanes.
Uh, hey guys, I know this was my idea, but I'm having serious doubts about ______.
UKIP: Putting ______ First!
War! What is it good for?
Well if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I have a date with ______.
What am I giving up for Lent?
What are my parents hiding from me?
What are school administrators using to curb rampant teenage pregnancy?
What broke up the original Wiggles?
What did I bring back from Amsterdam?
What did I bring back from Bali?
What did I bring back from Mexico?
What did the US airdrop to the children of Afghanistan?
What did Vin Diesel eat for dinner?
What do old people smell like?
What does Dick Cheney prefer?
What don't you want to find in your Chinese food?
What don't you want to find in your doner kebab?
What don't you want to find in your Kung Pao chicken?
What don't you want to find in your Mongolian beef?
What ended my last relationship?
What gets better with age?
What gives me uncontrollable gas?
What helps Barack Obama unwind?
What helps Obama unwind?
What is Batman's guilty pleasure?
What is George W. Bush thinking about right now?
What kept Margaret Thatcher busy in her waning years?
What made my first kiss so awkward?
What makes life worth living?
What makes me a true blue Aussie?
What never fails to liven up the party?
What will always get you laid?
What will I bring back in time to convince people that I am a powerful wizard?
What would grandma find disturbing, yet oddly charming?
What's a girl's best friend?
What's my anti-drug?
What's my secret power?
What's Teach for America using to inspire inner city students to succeed?
What's that smell?
What's that sound?
What's the Canadian government using to inspire rural students to succeed?
What's the crustiest?
What's the most emo?
What's the new fad diet?
What's the next Happy Meal® toy?
What's the next superhero?
What's the next superhero/sidekick duo?
What's there a ton of in heaven?
What's there a tonne of in heaven?
When I am a billionare, I shall erect a 20-metre statue to commemorate ______.
When I am a billionare, I shall erect a 50-foot statue to commemorate ______.
When I am President of the United States, I will create the Department of ______.
When I am President, I will create the Department of ______.
When I am Prime Minister of Canada, I will create the Department of ______.
When I am Prime Minister of Canada, I will create the Ministry of ______.
When I am Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, I will create the Ministry of ______.
When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Department of ______.
When I am Prime Minister, I will create the Ministry of ______.
When I was tripping on acid, ______ turned into ______.
When I'm in prison, I'll have ______ smuggled in.
When Pharaoh remained unmoved, Moses called down a Plague of ______.
While the United States raced the Soviet Union to the moon, the Mexican government funneled millions of pesos into res
on ______.
White people like ______.
Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?
Why am I sticky?
Why can't I sleep at night?
Why do I hurt all over?
TOTALS
(I am doing Kegels right now.)

10,000 Syrian refugees.
100% Pure New Zealand.
2 Girls 1 Cup.
400 years of colonial atrocities.
50 mg of Zoloft daily.
50,000 volts straight to the nipples.
72 virgins.
8 oz. of sweet Mexican black-tar heroin.
A bag of magic beans.
A balanced breakfast.
A ball of earwax, semen, and toenail clippings.
A big hoopla about nothing.
A bird that shits human turds.
A bit of slap and tickle.
A bitch slap.
A bleached arsehole.
A bleached asshole.
A Bop It™.
A bowl of mayonnaise and human teeth.
A brain tumor.
A brain tumour.
A bucket of fish heads.
A can of whoop-ass.
A caress of the inner thigh.
A cartoon camel enjoying the smooth, refreshing taste of a cigarette.
A Chelsea smile.
A clandestine butt scratch.
A cooler full of organs.
A crucifixion.
A cute, fuzzy koala, but it has chlamydia.
A death ray.
A decent fucking Internet connection.
A defective condom.
A despondent Maple Leafs fan sitting all alone.
A didgeridildo.
A disappointing birthday party.
A drive-by shooting.
A fair go.
A falcon with a cap on its head.
A fanny fart.
A fart so powerful that it wakes the giants from their thousand-year slumber.
A fetus.
A five-litre goon bag.
A Fleshlight.
A Fleshlight®.
A foetus.
A foul mouth.
A fuck-ton of almonds.
A fuck-tonne of almonds.
A gassy antelope.
A gentle caress of the inner thigh.
A ginger's freckled ballsack.
A good sniff.
A good, strong gorilla.
A gossamer stream of jizz that catches the light as it arcs through the morning air.
A grande sugar-free iced soy caramel macchiato.
A Gypsy curse.
A hairless little shitstain named Callou.
A Halal Snack Pack.
A hen night in Slough.
A homoerotic volleyball montage.
A horde of Vikings.
A hot mess.
A Japanese whaling operation.
A LAN party.
A lifetime of sadness.
A literal tornado of fire.
A little boy who won't shut the fuck up about dinosaurs.
A live studio audience.
A look-see.
A mad cow.
A madman who lives in a police box and kidnaps women.
A man on the brink of orgasm.
A mating display.
A Mexican.
A micropenis.
A micropig wearing a tiny raincoat and booties.
A middle-aged man on roller skates.
A mime having a stroke.
A moment of silence.
A monkey smoking a cigar.
A mopey zoo lion.
A much younger woman.
A murder most foul.
A neglected Tamagotchi™.
A nice cup of tea.
A pangender octopus who roams the cosmos in search of love.
A posh wank.
A pyramid of severed heads.
A really cool hat.
A robust mongoloid.
A sad handjob.
A salad for men that's made of metal.
A salty surprise.
A sassy black woman.
A sausage festival.
A saxophone solo.
A sea of troubles.
A shark!
A sick burnout.
A sick wombat.
A sickly child-king.
A six-point plan to stop the boats.
A slab of VB and a pack of durries.
A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis.
A sober Irishman who doesn't care for potatoes.
A soggy Sao.
A spastic nerd.
A stingray barb through the chest.
A stray pube.
A subscription to Men's Fitness.
A Super Soaker™ full of cat pee.
A thermonuclear detonation.
A thousand Scottish warriors lifting their kilts in unison.
A three-way with my wife and Shaquille O'Neal.
A Tim Hortons franchise.
A time travel paradox.
A tiny horse.
A tiny, gay guitar called a ukulele.
A tribe of warrior women.
A vajazzled vagina.
A vastly superior healthcare system.
A vindaloo poo.
A wheelchair death race.
A white van man.
A whole thing of butter.
A windmill full of corpses.
A wisecracking terrorist.
A zesty breakfast burrito.
Aaron Burr.
Abstinence.
Academy Award winner Meryl Streep.
Accepting the way things are.
Accidentally slipping yourself a roofie.
Active listening.
Actually taking candy from a baby.
Adderall™.
Adult Friendfinder.
Advice from a wise, old black man.
African children.
Agriculture.
AIDS.
Alcohol poisoning.
Alcoholism.
All four prongs of an echidna's penis.
All the dudes I've fucked.
All-you-can-eat shrimp for $4.99.
All-you-can-eat shrimp for $8.99.
Altar boys.
America.
American Gladiators.
Americanization.
Amputees.
An AK-47 assault rifle.
An AR-15 assault rifle.
An argument with Richard Dawkins.
An asymmetric boob job.
An endless stream of diarrhea.
An endless stream of diarrhoea.
An entrenched class system.
An erection that lasts longer than four hours.
An Evening with Michael Buble.
An honest cop with nothing left to lose.
An icepick lobotomy.
An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker.
An M. Night Shyamalan plot twist.
An M16 assault rifle.
An octopus giving seven handjobs and smoking a cigarette.
An Oedipus complex.
An old guy who's almost dead.
An older woman who knows her way around the penis.
An oversized lollipop.
An ugly face.
An unwanted pregnancy.
An uppercut.
Anal beads.
Announcing that I am about to cum.
Another goddamn vampire movie.
Anything that comes out of Prince Philip's mouth.
Apologizing.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Asians who aren't good at math.
Assless chaps.
Attitude.
Auschwitz.
Australia.
Authentic Mexican cuisine.
Autocannibalism.
AXE Body Spray.
Badger culling.
Ball-by-ball commentary from Richie Benaud.
Balls.
Bananas in Pajamas.
Bananas.
Barack Obama.
BATMAN!
BATMAN!!!
Battlefield amputations.
Becoming a blueberry.
Bees?
Being a dick to children.
Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
Being a woman.
Being able to talk to elephants.
Being Canadian.
Being fabulous.
Being fat and stupid.
Being hunted like a fox.
Being marginalised.
Being marginalized.
Being on fire.
Being rich.
Benedict Cumberbatch.
Bestiality.
Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Bingeing and purging.
Bio-engineered assault turtles with acid breath.
Bisexuality.
Bitches.
Black people.
Bling.
Blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
Blowing my boyfriend so hard he shits.
Blowing up Parliament.
Boat people; half boat, half human.
Bogies.
Bond, James Bond.
Bono.
Booby-trapping the house to foil burglars.
Boogers.
Braiding three penises into a Curly Wurly.
Braiding three penises into a licorice twist.
Braiding three penises into a Twizzler.
Breaking out into song and dance.
Brexit.
Britney Spears at 55.
Brown people.
Bubble butt bottom boys.
Buckfast Tonic Wine.
Burning down the White House.
Canada: America's Hat.
Canadian Netflix.
Canned tuna with extra dolphin.
Capturing Newt Gingrich and forcing him to dance in a monkey suit.
Cards Against Humanity.
Cashed-up bogans.
Casually suggesting a threesome.
Catapults.
Centaurs.
Chainsaws for hands.
Charisma.
Cheating in the Paralympics.
Cheating in the Special Olympics.
Cheeky bum sex.
Chemical weapons.
Child abuse.
Child beauty pageants.
Children on leashes.
Chivalry.
Christopher Walken.
Chubby baby seals.
Chundering into a kangaroo's pouch.
Chunks of dead backpacker.
Chunks of dead hitchhiker.
Chunks of dead prostitute.
Chutzpah.
Civilian casualties.
Classist undertones.
Clive Palmer's soft, shitty body.
Coat hanger abortions.
Cockfights.
College.
Committing suicide.
Completely unwarranted confidence.
Concealing a boner.
Concealing an erection.
Consensual sex.
Consultants.
Contagious face cancer.
Cookie Monster devouring the Eucharist wafers.
Copping a feel.
Cottaging.
Count Chocula.
Court-ordered rehab.
Covering myself with Parmesan cheese and chili flakes because I am pizza.
Crazy hot cousin sex.
Creed.
Crippling debt.
Crucifixion.
Crumbs all over the bloody carpet.
Crumbs all over the god damn carpet.
Crumpets with the Queen.
Crystal meth.
Cuddling.
Customer service representatives.
Cybernetic enhancements.
Daddies Brown Sauce
Daddies® Brown Sauce.
Daddy issues.
Daniel Radcliffe's delicious arsehole.
Daniel Radcliffe's delicious asshole.
Danny DeVito.
Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.
Darth Vader.
Date rape.
Dave Matthews Band.
David Bowie flying in on a tiger made of lightning.
David Cameron.
Dead babies.
Dead birds everywhere.
Dead parents.
Dental dams.
Denying climate change.
Destroying the evidence.
Dick Cheney.
Dick fingers.
Dick pics.
Dirty nappies.
Diversity.
Dogging.
Doin' it in the butt.
Doin' it up the bum.
Doing a shit in Pudsey Bear's eyehole.
Doing crimes.
Doing the right thing.
Domino's™ Oreo™ Dessert Pizza.
Don Cherry's wardrobe.
Donald J. Trump.
Donald Trump.
Douchebags on their iPhones.
Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
Drinking alone.
Drinking out of the toilet and eating garbage.
Drinking out of the toilet and eating rubbish.
Dropping a baby down the dunny.
Dropping a chandelier on your enemies and riding the rope up.
Drowning the kids in the bathtub.
Druids.
Drum circles.
Dry heaving.
Dwarf tossing.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Dying of dysentery.
Dying.
Eastern European Turbo-Folk music.
Eating a hard boiled egg out of my husband's arsehole.
Eating a hard boiled egg out of my husband's asshole.
Eating all of the cookies before the AIDS bake-sale.
Eating the last known bison.
Eating too much of a lamp.
Ecstasy.
Ed Balls.
Edible underpants.
Edible underwear.
Egging an MP.
Elderly Japanese men.
Electricity.
Embryonic stem cells.
Emerging from the sea and rampaging through Tokyo.
Emma Watson.
Emotions.
England.
Erectile dysfunction.
Establishing dominance.
Estrogen.
Ethnic cleansing.
Eugenics.
Euphoria™ by Calvin Klein.
Exactly what you'd expect.
Excalibur.
Exchanging pleasantries.
Executing a hostage every hour.
Existentialists.
Expecting a burp and vomiting on the floor.
Explaining how vaginas work.
Explosions.
Extremely tight pants.
Extremely tight trousers.
Facebook.
Fading away into nothingness.
Faffing about.
Faith healing.
Fake tits.
FALCON PUNCH!!!
Famine.
Fancy Feast®.
Farting and walking away.
Farting into your petticoats and wafting it at Lord Gregory.
Fear itself.
Feeding Rosie O'Donnell.
Fellowship in Christ.
Fiery poops.
Fiery poos.
Figgy pudding.
Filling my briefcase with business stuff.
Filling Sean Hannity with helium and watching him float away.
Finger painting.
Fingering.
Firing a rifle into the air while balls deep in a squealing hog.
Five litres of Special Brew.
Five-Dollar Footlongs™.
Flash flooding.
Flavored condoms.
Flesh-eating bacteria.
Flightless birds.
Flying sex snakes.
Forced sterilisation.
Forced sterilization.
Foreskin.
Forgetting the Alamo.
Former President George W. Bush.
Four Loko.
Fox News.
Fragile masculinity.
Free samples.
Friction.
Friendly fire.
Friends who eat all the snacks.
Friends with benefits.
Frolicking.
Front butt.
Fucking my sister.
Fucking the weatherman on live television.
Full frontal nudity.
Funky fresh rhymes.
Gandhi.
Garth Brooks.
Gary Coleman.
Gary Glitter.
Gay conversion therapy.
Geese.
Genghis Khan.
Genital piercings.
Gentleman's Relish®.
Genuine human connection.
German Chancellor Angela Merkel.
German dungeon porn.
Germans on holiday.
Getting a DUI on a Zamboni.
Getting crushed by a vending machine.
Getting cummed on.
Getting drugs off the street and into my body.
Getting drunk on mouthwash.
Getting fingered.
Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Florida, and dying.
Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Queensland, and dying.
Getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to the south of France, and dying.
Getting naked and watching CBeebies.
Getting naked and watching Nickelodeon.
Getting naked and watching Play School.
Getting pregnant again.
Getting really high.
Getting so angry that you pop a boner.
Getting so angry that you pop a stiffy.
Getting wed, having a few kids, taking some pictures, retiring to the south of France, and dying.
Ghosts.
Girls who shouldn't go wild.
Girls.
Giving 110%.
Giving birth to the Antichrist.
Glassing a wanker.
Glenn Beck being harried by a swarm of buzzards.
Glenn Beck catching his scrotum on a curtain hook.
Glenn Beck convulsively vomiting as a brood of crab spiders hatches in his brain and erupts from his tear ducts.
Glenn Beck.
Global warming.
Gloryholes.
Goats eating cans.
Goats eating coins.
Goblins.
God.
GoGurt®.
Going an entire day without masturbating.
Golden showers.
Good-natured, fun-loving Aussie racism.
Grandma.
Grave robbing.
Growing a pair.
Guys who don't call.
Haggis.
Half a kilo of pure China White heroin.
Half-assed foreplay.
Harry Potter erotica.
Have some more kugel.
Having a Golden Gaytime.
Having a shag in the back of a ute.
Having anuses for eyes.
Having big dreams but no realistic way to achieve them.
Having sex for the first time.
Having sex with every man in Winnipeg.
Heartwarming orphans.
Heath Ledger.
Helplessly giggling at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.
Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II.
Her Royal Highness, Queen Elizabeth II.
Heritage minutes.
Heritage minutes.
Heteronormativity.
Hillary Clinton's emails.
Hip hop jewels.
Historically black colleges.
Hobos.
Holding down a child and farting all over him.
Home video of Oprah sobbing into a Lean Cuisine®.
Homeless people.
Homo milk.
Hooning.
Hope.
Hormone injections.
Horrifying laser hair removal accidents.
Horse meat.
Hospice care.
Hot cheese.
Hot people.
Hot Pockets®.
How amazing it is to be on mushrooms.
How bad my daughter fucked up her dance recital.
How far I can get my own penis up my butt.
However much weed $20 can buy.
However much weed £20 can buy.
Huffing spray paint.
Huge biceps.
Hulk Hogan.
Hunting "accidents".
Hurling one's body down a hill in pursuit of a wheel of cheese.
Hurricane Katrina.
I'm friends with your dad on Facebook.
Ice.
Illegal immigrants.
Impotence.
Improvised explosive devices.
Inappropriate yelling.
Inappropriate yodeling.
Incest.
Inserting a jam jar into my anus.
Inserting a Mason jar into my anus.
Intelligent design.
Invading Poland.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
Italians.
Itchy pussy.
J.D. Power and his associates.
Jade Goody's cancerous remains.
Jedward.
Jehovah's Witnesses.
Jennifer Lawrence.
Jerking off into a pool of children's tears.
Jew-fros.
Jewish fraternities.
Jews, gypsies, and homosexuals.
Jibber-jabber.
Jimmy Savile.
Jobs.
Joe Biden.
John Howard's eyebrows.
John Wilkes Booth.
Judge Judy.
Judging everyone.
Just touching David Beckham's hair.
Justin Bieber.
Justin Trudeau.
Kamikaze pilots.
Kanye West.
Keanu Reeves.
Keeping Christ in Christmas.
Keg stands.
Kibbles n' Bits.
Kids with ass cancer.
Kids with bum cancer.
Kim Jong-il.
Kissing grandma on the forehead and turning off her life support.
Kissing nan on the forehead and turning off her life support.
Knife crime.
Kourtney, Kim, Khloe, Kendall, and Kylie.
Lactation.
Lads.
Lady Gaga.
Lance Armstrong's missing testicle.
Land mines.
Laying an egg.
Leaked footage of Kate Middleton's colonoscopy.
Leaving an awkward voicemail.
Lena Dunham.
Leprosy.
Letting yourself go.
Liberals.
Licking things to claim them as your own.
Listening to her problems without trying to solve them.
Little boy penises.
Living in Yellowknife.
Lockjaw.
Looking in the mirror, applying lipstick, and whispering "tonight, you will have sex with Tom Cruise."
Loose lips.
Lumberjack fantasies.
Lunchables™.
LYNX® Body Spray.
Mad cow disease.
Madeleine McCann.
Magnets.
Making a pouty face.
Making sex at her.
Making up for centuries of oppression with one day of apologising.
Man meat.
Mansplaining.
Many bats.
Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch.
Martha Stewart.
Massive, widespread drought.
Masturbating.
Masturbation.
Mathletes.
Maureen of Blackpool, Reader's Wife of the Year 1988.
Me time.
MechaHitler.
Memes.
Men discussing their feelings in an emotionally healthy way.
Men.
Menstrual rage.
Menstruation.
Meth.
Michael Jackson.
Michelle Obama's arms.
Mike Pence.
Miley Cyrus at 55.
Millions of cane toads.
Millwall fans.
Mining accidents.
Mistaking a retarded person for someone who's merely deaf.
More elephant cock than I bargained for.
Morgan Freeman's voice.
Mountain Dew Code Red.
Mouth herpes.
Mr. Clean, right behind you.
Mr. Dressup.
Mr. Dressup.
Mr. Snuffleupagus.
Mr. Squiggle, the Man from the Moon.
Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him).
Muhammad (Praise Be Unto Him).
Multiple stab wounds.
Murder.
Mutually assured destruction.
Mutually-assured destruction.
Muzzy.
My abusive boyfriend who really isn't so bad once you get to know him.
My balls on your face.
My black ass.
My bright pink fuckhole.
My cheating prick of a husband.
My cheating son-of-a-bitch husband.
My collection of high-tech sex toys.
My collection of Japanese sex toys.
My ex-wife.
My fat daughter.
My genitals.
My good bra.
My humps.
My inner demons.
My mate Dave.
My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack.
My relationship status.
My sex life.
My soul.
My Uber driver, Pavel.
My ugly face and bad personality.
My vagina.
Naked News.
Natalie Portman.
Natural male enhancement.
Natural selection.
Nazis.
NBA superstar LeBron James.
Necrophilia.
New Age music.
Newfies.
Newfies.
Nickelback.
Nicolas Cage.
Nip slips.
Nippers.
Nipple blades.
Nocturnal emissions.
Not giving a shit about the Third World.
Not reciprocating oral sex.
Not vaccinating my children because I am stupid.
Not wearing pants.
Not wearing trousers.
Nothing but sand.
Obesity.
Object permanence.
Oestrogen.
Old-people smell.
One Direction's supple, hairless bodies.
One titty hanging out.
One trillion dollars.
Only dating Asian women.
Oompa-Loompas.
Opposable thumbs.
Oprah.
Our first chimpanzee President.
Overcompensation.
Oversized lollipops.
Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Pac-Man uncontrollably guzzling cum.
Paedophiles.
Panda sex.
Paris Hilton.
Parting the Red Sea.
Party poopers.
Passable transvestites.
Passing a kidney stone.
Passive-aggression.
Passive-aggressive Post-it notes.
Pauline Hanson.
PCP.
Peanut Butter Jelly Time.
Pedophiles.
Peeing a little bit.
Penis breath.
Penis envy.
People who smell their own socks.
Perfunctory foreplay.
Permanent Orgasm-Face Disorder.
Picking up girls at the abortion clinic.
Pictures of boobs.
Pikies.
Pingers.
Pixelated bukkake.
Playing silly buggers.
Police brutality.
Polish People.
Pooping back and forth. Forever.
Pooping in a laptop and closing it.
Pooping in the soup.
Poopy diapers.
Poor life choices.
Poor people.
Poorly-timed Holocaust jokes.
Popped collars.
Porn stars.
Poutine.
Poverty.
Powerful thighs.
Prancing.
Praying the gay away.
Prescription pain killers.
Preteens.
Pretending to care.
Profound respect and appreciation for indigenous culture.
Pronouncing the names of northern Welsh towns.
Prosti-tots.
Pterodactyl eggs.
PTSD.
Puberty.
Public ridicule.
Pulling out.
Punching a congressman in the face.
Punching an MP in the face.
Puppies!
Pussy Galore.
Queefing.
Queen Elizabeth's immaculate anus.
Queuing.
Racially-biased SAT questions.
Racism.
Radical Islamic terrorism.
Rap music.
Raping and pillaging.
Raptor attacks.
Re-gifting.
Rehab.
Repression.
Republicans.
Riding off into the sunset.
Ring Pops™.
Rip Torn dropkicking anti-Semitic lesbians.
Ripping off the Beatles.
Road head.
Rob Ford.
Robbing a sperm bank.
Robert Downey Jr.
Robert Downey, Jr.
RoboCop.
Rohypnol.
Ronald Reagan.
Roofies.
Rubbing Boris Johnson's belly until he falls asleep.
Running out of semen.
Rupert Murdoch.
Rush Limbaugh's soft, shitty body.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg brutally gaveling your penis.
Same-sex ice dancing.
Sarah Palin.
Saxophone solos.
Saying "I love you."
Scalping the Milkybar Kid.
Scalping.
Schmirler the Curler.
Science.
Scientology.
Scousers.
Scrubbing under the folds.
Sean Connery.
Sean Penn.
Seduction.
Seeing Grandma naked.
Seeing Granny naked.
Seeing my father cry.
Seeing what happens when you lock people in a room with hungry seagulls.
Seething with quiet resentment.
Self-loathing.
Selling crack to children.
Selling ice to children.
Seppuku.
Serfdom.
Seven dead and three in critical condition.
Sex with animals.
Sex with Patrick Stewart.
Sexting.
Sexual peeing.
Sexual tension.
Sexy pillow fights.
Shaking a baby until it stops crying.
Shapeshifters.
Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.
Sharing needles.
Shiny objects.
Shipping convicts to Australia.
Shitting out a perfect Cumberland sausage.
Shorties and blunts.
Showing up to an orgy for the food.
Shutting up so I can watch the game.
Shutting up so I can watch the match.
Sideboob.
Silence.
Sipping artificial popcorn butter.
Sitting on my face and telling me I'm garbage.
Sitting on my face.
Sitting on my face.
Skeletor.
Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.
Slapping a biscuit out of an orphan's mouth.
Slapping Nigel Farage over and over.
Slaughtering innocent civilians.
Smallpox blankets.
Smegma.
Sniffing glue.
Snotsicles.
Sobbing into a Hungry-Man™ Frozen Dinner.
Soft, kissy missionary sex.
Soiling oneself.
Solving problems with violence.
Somali pirates.
Some bloody peace and quiet.
Some god damn peace and quiet.
Some guy.
Some of the best rappers in the game.
Some punk kid who stole my turkey sandwich.
Sorry, this content cannot be viewed in your region.
Soup that is too hot.
Spaghetti? Again?
Spaniards.
Spectacular abs.
Sperm whales.
Spontaneous human combustion.
Stalin.
Stephen Harper.
Stephen Harper.
Stephen Hawking talking dirty.
Steve Bannon.
Steve Irwin.
Stifling a giggle at the mention of Hutus and Tutsis.
Still being a virgin.
Stormtroopers.
Stranger danger.
Strong female characters.
Stunt doubles.
Substitute teachers.
Sucking some dicks to not get drafted.
Summoning Harold Holt from the sea in a time of great need.
Sunshine and rainbows.
Surprise sex!
Swag.
Sweet, sweet vengeance.
Switching to Geico®.
Swooping.
Synergistic management solutions.
Syrupy sex with a maple tree.
Take-backsies.
Taking a sheep-wife.
Taking off your shirt.
Tangled Slinkys.
Tap dancing like there's no tomorrow.
Tasteful sideboob.
Teaching a robot to love.
Team-building exercises.
Tearing that ass up like wrapping paper on Christmas morning.
Teenage pregnancy.
Telling a shitty story that goes nowhere.
Tentacle porn.
Terry Fox's prosthetic leg.
Testicular torsion.
That one gay Teletubby.
That thing that electrocutes your abs.
The American Dream.
The Amish.
The arrival of the pizza.
The art of seduction.
The Bachelorette season finale.
The Big Bang.
The big fucking hole in the ozone layer.
The Black Death.
The Blood of Christ.
The bloody Welsh.
The BNP.
The bombing of Nagasaki.
The Boy Scouts of America.
The bush.
The Care Bear Stare.
The Chinese gymnastics team.
The chronic.
The clitoris.
The cool, refreshing taste of Coca-Cola®.
The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi.
The cool, refreshing taste of Pepsi®.
The Daily Mail.
The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
The deformed.
The Devil Himself.
The Donald Trump Seal of Approval.™
The drama club.
The EDL.
The end of days.
The entire cast of Downton Abbey.
The entire Mormon Tabernacle Choir.
The female orgasm.
The FLQ.
The folly of man.
The forbidden fruit.
The Force.
The French.
The gays.
The glass ceiling.
The Great Depression.
The Great Emu War.
The Hamburglar.
The hardworking Mexican.
The heart of a child.
The Hemsworth brothers.
The Hillsborough Disaster.
The Holy Bible.
The homosexual agenda.
The homosexual lifestyle.
The Honey Monster.
The Hustle.
The inevitable heat death of the universe.
The invisible hand.
The Jews.
The KKK.
The Kool-Aid Man.
The light of a billion suns.
The Little Engine That Could.
The magic of live theatre.
The Make-A-Wish® Foundation.
The milk man.
The milkman.
The miracle of childbirth.
The morbidly obese.
The North.
The Official Languages Act. La Loi sur les langues officielles.
The only gay person in a hundred kilometers.
The only gay person in a hundred miles.
The past.
The Patriarchy.
The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On."
The People's Elbow.
The petty troubles of the landed gentry.
The pirate's life.
The placenta.
The plot of a Michael Bay movie.
The Pope.
The profoundly handicapped.
The Rapture.
The Red Hot Chili Peppers.
The Red Menace.
The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
The rhythms of Africa.
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
The Russians.
The Scouts.
The screams...the terrible screams.
The Smell of Primark.
The South.
The Stig.
The Strictly Come Dancing season finale.
The sudden appearance of the Go Compare man.
The Superdome.
The taint; the grundle; the fleshy fun-bridge.
The Tempur-Pedic® Swedish Sleep System™.
The terrorists.
The Thong Song.
The Three-Fifths compromise.
The token minority.
The Trail of Tears.
The true meaning of Christmas.
The UÜ bermensch.
The Underground Railroad.
The unstoppable tide of Islam.
The violation of our most basic human rights.
The Virginia Tech Massacre.
The way James Bond treats women.
The White Australia Policy.
The wifi password.
The wonders of the Orient.
The World of Warcraft.
The wrath of Vladimir Putin.
Theresa May.
These hoes.
Third base.
This answer is postmodern.
This month's mass shooting.
This year's mass shooting.
Those times when you get sand in your vagina.
Three dicks at the same time.
Throwing a virgin into a volcano.
Throwing grapes at a man until he loses touch with reality.
Tickle Me Elmo.
Tickling Sean Hannity, even after he tells you to stop.
Tiger Woods.
Tom Cruise.
Toni Morrison's vagina.
Tony Abbott in budgie smugglers.
Too much hair gel.
Tories.
Total control of the media.
Touching a pug right on his penis.
Trench foot.
Tweeting.
Twenty tonnes of bat shit.
Twinkies®.
Two midgets shitting into a bucket.
Unfathomable stupidity.
Uppercuts.
Used knickers.
Used panties.
Vegemite™.
Vehicular homicide.
Vehicular manslaughter.
Viagra®.
Vigilante justice.
Vigorous jazz hands.
Vikings.
Vladimir Putin.
Vomiting into a kangaroo's pouch.
Vomiting seafood and bleeding anally.
Waiting 'til marriage.
Waiting till marriage.
Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.
Waking up half-naked in a Little Chef car park.
Waking up half-naked in a Macca's car park.
Waking up in Idris Elba's arms.
Wanking into a pool of children's tears.
Waterboarding.
Wearing underwear inside-out to avoid doing laundry.
Wet dreams.
What's left of the Great Barrier Reef.
When you fart and a little bit comes out.
Whipping it out.
Whiskas® Catmilk.
White people.
White privilege.
White-man scalps.
Whoever the Prime Minister is these days.
Wifely duties.
Will Smith.
William Shatner.
Winking at old people.
Wiping her bum.
Wiping her butt.
Wizard music.
Women in yoghurt adverts.
Women in yoghurt commercials.
Women in yogurt commercials.
Women of color.
Women of colour.
Women's suffrage.
Women's undies.
Wondering if it's possible to get some of that salsa to go.
World peace.
Worshipping that pussy.
Xenophobia.
Yeast.
YOU MUST CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.
Your mum.
Your weird brother.
TOTALS
Current version is v2.0.
v1.0 - The Kickstarter Edition - Successfully funded on Kickstarter January 30, 2011, raising $15,570 with 758 backers. Officiall
released May 13, 2011. First sold on the Cards Against Humanity Store website on June 14, 2011, and then available on Amazon.com
15, 2011.
Canadian Edition Base Set - Started out as a Canadian Conversion Kit that was included when someone from Canada ordered th
Main Deck (US Version). It was apparently released some time in late 2011 to early 2012. The Canadian Conversion Kit is no longer a
and has been superceded by a CAH Canadian Edition, v1.6 (unable to find the release date of the Canadian Edition). Only available to
customers in Canada. Icon: A maple leaf.
UK Edition Base Set - Released on September 24,2013. Only available to customers in the UK. Icon: A bulldog.
Australian Base Set - Released on October 31, 2014. Only available to customers in Australia. Icon: An emu.
Cards Against Humanity for Her - Released July 11, 2017. It is the US Base Set v1.7 in pink packaging that was sold for $5 more
the US Base Set with all profits being donated to Emily's List, and therefore does not warrant a separate listing of cards.
v2.0 - Released August 29, 2017. Contains 150 new cards, and expands the Base Set from 550 cards to 600 cards.
Canadian Conversion Kit
This kit was included when someone from Canada ordered the CAH Main Deck (US Version). It was apparently released
time in late 2011 to early 2012. The Canadian Conversion Kit is no longer available, was never available for sale, and has
superceded by a CAH Canadian Edition, v1.6. Only available to customers in Canada. Icon: A maple leaf.
Dear Canadian,
Thanks for buying or stealing this copy of Cards Against Humanity!
Some of the cards in our game were written for fat, stupid Americans. To ensure that your game is as funny as possible w
gone to the bare minimum of effort to write a few replacement cards.
On the next card, you'll find a list of cards that you might want to replace. Once you've customized your game to your liki
free to burn these instructions for warmth.
- Cards Against Humanity
Air Canada guidelines now prohibit ______ on airplanes.

CTV presents ______, the story of ______.
Next on TSN: The World Series of ______.
O Canada, we stand on guard for ______.
The Royal Ontario Museum has just opened an interactive exhibit on ______.
What's the Canadian government using to inspire rural students to succeed?
When I am Prime Minister of Canada, I will create the Department of ______.
A Molson muscle.
A Tim Hortons franchise.
An icy handjob from an Edmonton hooker.
Being Canadian.
Burning down the White House.
Canada: America's hat.
Don Cherrys wardrobe.
Heritage minutes.
Homo milk.
Mr. Dressup.
Naked News.
Newfies.
Poutine.
Schmirler the Curler.
Snotsicles.
Stephen Harper.
Syrupy sex with a maple tree.
Terry Fox's prosthetic leg.
The Famous Five.
The FLQ
The Official Languages Act. La Loi sur les langues officielles.
The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
UK Conversion Kit
This kit was included when someone from the UK ordered the CAH Main Deck (US Version). It was apparently released s
time in late 2011 to early 2012. The UK Conversion Kit is no longer available, was never available for sale, and has been
superceded by a CAH UK Edition, v1.5. Only available to customers in the UK. Icon: Bulldog.
Editor Note: Until recently (1/20/18), the existence of the UK Conversion Kit was debated, and thought to be fake (sets that
sold on eBay). However, CAH has confirmed that the UK Conversion Kit does exist, and that confirmation can be viewed here
https://imgur.com/a/GMGaD
Description from back panel: Cards Against Humanity was made by eight fat Yanks. To create our UK Edition, we rewrote
15% of the game to adapt it to the country's out-moded culture. For the UK Conversion Kit, we've extracted all the Britis
for your eyes only. Good luck, 007.
________________? Jim’ll fix it!

______________. That’s why mums go to Iceland.
_____________. Once you pop, the fun don’t stop!
And the BAFTA for ___________ goes to __________.
Channel 4 presents “________: the Story of ______.”
Channel 5’s new reality show features eight washed-up celebrities living with ____________.
Coming to the West End this year, _________________: The Musical.
Dear Agony Aunt, I’m having some trouble with ____________ and would like your advice.
In her latest feature-length film, Tracy Beaker struggles with ___________ for the first time.
In Wormwood Scrubs, word is you can trade 200 cigarettes for ___________.
Next on Sky Sports: The World Championship of _______________.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapons are fear, surprise, and __________.
TFL apologizes for the delay in train service due to ___________.
The Natural History Museum has just opened an interactive exhibit on ____________.
The theme for next year’s Eurovision Song Contest is “We are _____________.”
Today on The Jeremy Kyle Show: “Help! My son is _________________!”
What are school administrators using to curb rampant teenage pregnancy?
What did I bring back from Amsterdam?
What kept Margaret Thatcher busy in her waning years?
When I am Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, I will create the Ministry of __________.
400 years of colonial atrocities.

A bit of slap and tickle.
A Chelsea smile.
A fanny fart.
A ginger’s freckled ballsack.
A mad cow.
A madman who lives in a police box and kidnaps women.
A nice cup of tea.
A posh wank.
A sober Irishman who doesn’t care for potatoes.
A thousand Scottish warriors lifting their kilts in unison.
A vindaloo poo.
A white van man.
An argument with Richard Dawkins.
An entrenched class system.
Anything that comes out of Prince Philip’s mouth.
Badger culling.
Being hunted like a fox.
Blood, toil, tears, and sweat.
Blowing up Parliament.
Buckfast Tonic Wine
Cheeky bum sex.
Chivalry.
Cottaging.
Daddies Brown Sauce.
David Cameron.
Dogging
Doing a shit in Pudsey Bear’s eyehole.
Druids.
Ed Balls.
England.
Excalibur.
Faffing about.
Five litres of Special Brew.
Gary Glitter.
Gentleman’s Relish.®
Germans on holiday.
Getting naked and watching CBeebies.
Getting wed, having a few kids, taking some pictures, retiring to the south of France, and dying.
Haggis.
Hurling one’s body down a hill in pursuit of a wheel of cheese.
Jade Goody’s cancerous remains.
Jedward.
Jehovah’s Witnesses.
Jimmy Savile
Just touching David Beckham’s hair.
Leaked footage of Kate Middleton’s colonoscopy.
Madeleine McCann.
Maureen of Blackpool, Reader’s Wife of the Year 1988.
Millwall fans.
Mining accidents.
One Direction’s supple, hairless bodies.
Pronouncing the names of northern Welsh towns.
Queen Elizabeth’s immaculate anus.
Ripping off the Beatles.
Rubbing Boris Johnson’s belly until he falls asleep.
Scalping the Milkybar Kid.
Scousers.
Shitting out a perfect Cumberland sausage.
Slapping a biscuit out of an orphan’s mouth.
Spaniards.
The Black Death.
The bloody Welsh.
The entire cast of Downtown Abbey.
The French.
The Hillsborough Disaster.
The Honey Monster.
The North.
The petty troubles of the landed gentry.
The Stig.
The sudden appearance of the Go Compare man.
The way James Bond treats women.
Tories.
Trench foot.
US US US US US US UK US UK CA AU US
Special v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
DRAW 2, PICK 3 v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
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PICK 2 v1.6
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
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PICK 2
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DRAW 2, PICK 3 v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
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PICK 2 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
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v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0
PICK 2 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
88 88 90 90 90 90 90 90 90 90 21 90
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.5 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.3
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5

v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.1 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.7
v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.3 v1.5
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6

v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5

v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5

v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
V1.2 v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.5 v1.6
v1.1 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5

v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6

v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5

v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3

v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1..5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.1 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2

v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6

v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.6

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5

v1.0 v1.1
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.5 v1.6
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.4 v1.5
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.5 v1.6
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0
v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.6
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6
v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7
542 546 460 460 460 461 460 460 460 460 84 460
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PICK 2
CA UK AU CA US CA UK AU
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7
v1.7 v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
90 90 90 90 100 100 100 100

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7a
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
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v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
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v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
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v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7
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v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7 v1.7
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
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v1.7
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
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v1.7
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v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
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v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0

v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0
v1.7 v1.7
v1.7 v1.7a
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7
v1.7 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v1.7 v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
v2.0
v1.7 v1.7 v1.7 v1.7a v2.0 v2.0 v2.0 v2.0
460 460 460 460 500 500 500 500

Card with typo discovered by MrTimofTim and confirmed by
NakedReporta and bhantoot from CAH.
https://goo.gl/Mmhvof
Duplicate card - confirmed independently by NakedReporta,
ACanadianPenguin and Tennberg
ACanadianPenguin and Tennberg.
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Cards Against Humanity: First Expansion
Released November 7, 2011. Discontinued as of November 21, 2016 as a separate expansion. Still available for purchase while suppl
been incorporated into the Red Box Expansion. Icon: The number "1".
An international tribunal has found ______ guilty of ______.

And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for ______!
Awww, sick! I just saw this skater do a 720 kickflip into ______!
Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of ______ has denied your request for ______.
Doctor, you've gone too far! The human body wasn't meant to withstand that amount of ______!
Future historians will agree that ______ marked the beginning of America's decline.
He who controls ______ controls the world.
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with ______.
In a pinch, ______ can be a suitable substitute for ______.
In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of ______.
In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated ______.
In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to ______.
In the distant future, historians will agree that ______ marked the beginning of America's decline.
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits ______ against ______.
My plan for world domination begins with ______.
Next season on Man vs, Wild, Bear Grylls must survive the depths of the Amazon with only ______ and his wits.
Next week on Discovery Channel, one man must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only _____ and his wits.
Science will never explain ______.
Science will never explain the origin of ______.
The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to ______.
The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and ______.
The socialist governments of Scandinavia have declared that access to ______ is a basic human right.
This season on Man vs. Wild, Bear Grylls must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only ______ and his wits.
What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?
What's the gift that keeps on giving?
When all else fails, I can always masturbate to ______.
When I pooped, what came out of my butt?
24-hour media coverage.

A beached whale.
A big black dick.
A bloody pacifier.
A crappy little hand.
A fat bald man from the internet.
A Japanese tourist who wants something very badly but cannot communicate it.
A low standard of living.
A nuanced critique.
A panty raid.
A passionate Latino lover.
A plunger to the face.
A rival dojo.
A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites.
A web of lies.
A woman scorned.
An atomic wedgie.
An Etsy steampunk strap-on.
An evil man in evil clothes.
Andreé the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum.
Apologizing.
Appreciative snapping.
Ashton Kutcher.
Beating your wives.
Being a busy adult with many important things to do.
Being a dinosaur.
Big Bird's brown, crusty asshole.
Blaxploitation.
Bosnian chicken farmers.
Breaking nip slip news.
Carnies.
Clams.
Clenched butt cheeks.
Converting to Islam.
Coughing into a vagina.
Cutting.
Dancing with a broom.
Deflowering a princess.
Deflowering the princess.
Dorito breath.
Eating an albino.
Enormous Scandinavian women.
Fabricating statistics.
Finding a skeleton.
Gandalf.
Genetically engineered super-soldiers.
George Clooney's musk.
Getting abducted by Peter Pan.
Getting in her pants, politely.
Gladiatorial combat.
Good grammar.
Having a penis.
Hipsters.
Historical revisionism.
Insatiable bloodlust.
Jafar.
Jean-Claude Van Damme in slow motion.
Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Just the tip.
Leveling up.
Literally eating shit.
Mad hacky-sack skills.
Making the penises kiss.
Media coverage.
Medieval Times® Dinner & Tournament.
Mom.
Moral ambiguity.
My machete.
Neil Patrick Harris.
NOOOOOOOOO!!!
Nubile slave boys.
Ominous background music.
One thousand Slim Jims.
Overpowering your father.
Panty raids.
Pistol-whipping a hostage.
Quiche.
Quivering jowls.
Revenge fucking.
Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.
Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.
Salvia.
Sanding off a man's nose.
Santa Claus.
Savagely beating a mascot.
Scrotum tickling.
Sexual humiliation.
Sexy Siamese twins.
Shaft.
Shitting out a screaming face.
Slow motion.
Space muffins.
Statistically validated stereotypes.
Stockholm Syndrome.
Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.
Suicidal thoughts.
Syphilitic insanity.
The boners of the elderly.

The economy.
The Fanta® girls.
The four arms of Vishnu.
The Gulags.
The harsh light of day.
The hiccups.
The ooze.
The shambling corpse of Larry King.
The worst pain imaginable. Times two!
This guy!
Tripping balls.
Walking in on Dad peeing into Mom's mouth.
Words, words, words.
Zeus's sexual appetites.
Cards Against Humanity: Second Expansion

Released August 31, 2012. Discontinued as of November 21, 2016 as a separate expansion. Still available for purchase while supplies
been incorporated into the Red Box Expansion. Icon: The number "2".
______ would be woefully incomplete without ______.

A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of ______.
After months of debate, the Occupy Wall Street General Assembly could only agree on "More ______!"
Before ______, all we had was ______.
Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with ______.
Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out ______.
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into ______.
Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for ______.
I spent my whole life working toward ______, only to have it ruined by ______.
I went from ______ to ______, all thanks to ______.
If God didn't want us to enjoy ______, he wouldn't have given us ______.
In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from ______.
Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and ______.
Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience ______.
My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of ______.
My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found ______.com/______.
My new favorite porn star is Joey "______" McGee.
Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about ______.
Only two things in life are certain: death and ______.
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, ______, acceptance.
The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of ______.
The votes are in, and the new high school mascot is ______.
This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for ______.
This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing ______ into the bedroom."
Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about ______ could kill you.
What's harshing my mellow, man?
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced ______ and ______ at the same time.
Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with ______ alone.
A 55-gallon drum of lube.

A bigger, blacker dick.
A Burmese tiger pit.
A dollop of sour cream.
A fortuitous turnip harvest.
A magic hippie love cloud.
A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
A pinñ ata full of scorpions.
A sad fat dragon with no friends.
A slightly shittier parallel universe.
A sofa that says “I have style, but I like to be comfortable.”
A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."
A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
A sweaty, panting leather daddy.
A sweet spaceship.
All of this blood.
An army of skeletons.
An ether-soaked rag.
An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.
Another shot of morphine.
Basic human decency.
Beefin' over turf.
Being awesome at sex.
Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
Bullshit.
Catastrophic urethral trauma.
Crabapples all over the fucking sidewalk.
Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body.
Daddy's belt.
Death by Steven Seagal.
Dennis the Menace.
Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."
Double penetration.
Existing.
Fetal alcohol syndrome.
Finding Waldo.
Fuck Mountain.
Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.
Grandpa's ashes.
Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
Hillary Clinton.
Hillary Clinton's death stare.
Intimacy problems.
Jeff Goldblum.
Living in a trashcan.
Loki, the trickster god.
Making a friend.
Maximal insertion.
Me.
Mild autism.
Mooing.
My first kill.
Nunchuck moves.
Oncoming traffic.
One Ring to rule them all.
Power.
Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.
Pumping out a baby every nine months.
Rising from the grave.
Scrotal frostbite.
Some really fucked-up shit.
Special musical guest, Cher.
Spring break!
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
Survivor's guilt.
Swiftly achieving orgasm.
Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
The black Power Ranger.
The corporations.
The day the birds attacked.
The Google.
The grey nutrient broth that sustains Mitt Romney.
The hose.
The human body.
The mere concept of Applebee's®.
The mixing of the races.
The new Radiohead album.
Tiny nipples.
Tongue.
Upgrading homeless people to mobile hotspots.
Weapons-grade plutonium.
Wearing an octopus for a hat.
Whining like a little bitch.
Whipping a disobedient slave.
Cards Against Humanity: Third Expansion

Released March 22, 2013. Discontinued as of November 21, 2016 as a separate expansion. Still available for purchase while supplies
incorporated into the Red Box Expansion. Icon: The number "3".
______: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for ______!

______. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.
A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with ______.
After months of practice with ______, I think I’m finally ready for ______.
And what did you bring for show and tell?
As part of his contract, Prince won’t perform without ______ in his dressing room.
As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for ______.
Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate ______ in the workplace.
During high school I never really fit in until I found ______ club.
Finally! A service that delivers ______ right to your door.
Having problems with ______? Try ______!
Hey baby, come back to my place and I’ll show you ______.
I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for ______.
In the seventh circle of Hell, sinners must endure ______ for all eternity.
Listen, son. If you want to get involved with ______, I won’t stop you. Just steer clear of ______.
Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re ______.
Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me ______.
My gym teacher got fired for adding ______ to the obstacle course.
My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of ______ and ______.
The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in ______.
To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of ______.
Turns out that ______-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.
What left this stain on my couch?
When you get right down to it, ______ is just ______.
With enough time and pressure, ______ will turn into ______.
A black male in his early 20s, last seen wearing a hoodie.

A boo-boo.
A botched circumcision.
A cat video so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.
A cop who is also a dog.
A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.
A Japanese toaster you can fuck.
A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.
A pile of squirming bodies.
A PowerPoint presentation.
A spontaneous conga line.
A surprising amount of hair.
A vagina that leads to another dimension.
Actually getting shot, for real.
All my friends dying.
An all-midget production of Shakespeare’s Richard III.
An ass disaster.
An unstoppable wave of fire ants.
Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.
Blood farts.
Blowing some dudes in an alley.
Buying the right pants to be cool.
Chugging a lava lamp.
Cock.
Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.
Demonic possession.
Disco fever.
Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy.
Dying alone and in pain.
Eating Tom Selleck’s mustache to gain his powers.
Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.
Fisting.
Flying robots that kill people.
Gay aliens.
Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.
Girls that always be textin’.
Going around punching people.
Having sex on top of a pizza.
Having shotguns for legs.
Indescribable loneliness.
Jumping out at people.
Letting everyone down.
Mufasa’s death scene.
My manservant, Claude.
Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.
Not having sex.
Nothing.
Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.
Racial profiling.
Reverse cowgirl.
Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.
Samuel L. Jackson.
Screaming like a maniac.
Self-flagellation.
Shutting the fuck up.
Slapping a racist old lady.
Sneezing, farting, and cumming at the same time.
Some douche with an acoustic guitar.
Some kind of bird-man.
Spending lots of money.
That ass.
The entire Internet.
The Harlem Globetrotters.
The Land of Chocolate.
The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili’s.®
The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.
The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.
The way white people is.
Three months in the hole.
Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.
Velcro™.
Vietnam flashbacks.
Vomiting mid-blowjob.
Warm, velvety muppet sex.
Cards Against Humanity: Fourth Expansion

Released November 21, 2013. Discontinued as of November 21, 2016 as a separate expansion. Still available for purchase while supp
been incorporated into the Blue Box Expansion. Icon: The number "4".
______ may pass, but ______ will last forever.

______ will never be the same after ______.
2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me
Adventure. Romance. ______. From Paramount Pictures, "______."
Alright, bros. Our frat house is condemned, and all the hot slampieces are over at Gamma Phi. The time has come to com
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?
Dammit, Gary. You can't just solve every problem with ______.
Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of ______.
Do not fuck with me! I am literally ______ right now.
Every step towards ______ gets me a little bit closer to ______.
Forget everything you know about ______, because now we've supercharged it with ______!
Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be ______, and I'll be ______.
How am I compensating for my tiny penis?
I am become ______, destroyer of ______!
I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I'm absolutely mesmerized by ______.
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow ______ at the country club.
If you can't handle ______, you'd better stay away from ______.
In return for my soul, the Devil promised me ______, but all I got was ______.
In the beginning, there was ______. And the Lord said, "Let there be ______."
It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from ______.
Man, this is bullshit. Fuck ______.
Oprah's book of the month is "______ For ______: A Story of Hope."
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for ______.
The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of ______.
This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of ______.
This year's hottest album is "______" by ______.
We never did find ______, but along the way we sure learned a lot about ______.
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with ______.
What's fun until it gets weird?
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on ______, and then there's some stuff about ______, and then it ends wi
You've seen the bearded lady! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon ______!
10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.

A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.
A dance move that's just sex.
A fart.
A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.
A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.
A hopeless amount of spiders.
A horse with no legs.
A kiss on the lips.
A manhole.
A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.
A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.
A sex goblin with a carnival penis.
A shiny rock that proves I love you.
A Ugandan warlord.
Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.
Africa.
All the single ladies.
Almost giving money to a homeless person.
Ambiguous sarcasm.
An interracial handshake.
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.
Ass to mouth.
Blackula.
Bouncing up and down.
Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.
Child Protective Services.
Crazy opium eyes.
Dem titties.
Depression.
Doo-doo.
Drinking responsibly.
Exploding pigeons.
Falling into the toilet.
Finally finishing off the Indians.
Fucking a corpse back to life.
Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.
How awesome I am.
Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.
Interspecies marriage.
Jizz.
Khakis.
Lots and lots of abortions.
Moderate-to-severe joint pain.
My dad's dumb fucking face.
My sex dungeon.
My worthless son.
Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.
No clothes on, penis in vagina.
Party Mexicans.
Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.
Sharks with legs.
Smoking crack, for instance.
Snorting coke off a clown's boner.
Some sort of Asian.
Sports.
Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun.
Sugar madness.
The best taquito in the galaxy.
The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.
The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.
The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.
The safe word.
The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.
The size of my penis.
The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.
Three consecutive seconds of happiness.
Unquestioning obedience.
What Jesus would do.
Whatever a McRib® is made of.
Whispering all sexy.
Cards Against Humanity: Fifth Expansion

Released September 3, 2014. Discontinued as of November 21, 2016 as a separate expansion. Still available for purchase while supp
been incorporated into the Blue Box Expansion. Icon: The number "5".
And today's soup is Cream of ______.

Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at that swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with __
Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew ______!
Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is ______? Zoloft.
Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become "______ Friday."
Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: ______.
Having the worst day EVER. #______
Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of ______ , and I will not tolerate ______!
Help me doctor, I've got ______ in my butt!
Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore ______ at their own pace.
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into ______, and I love to have a good time.
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "______." Can you explain?
I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of ______.
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of ______.
In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with ______.
Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without ______.
Now in bookstores: "The Audacity of ______" by Barack Obama.
Patient presents with ______ . Likely a result of ______.
Well if ______ is good enough for ______, it's good enough for me.
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for ______
What killed my boner?
What's making things awkward in the sauna?
WHOOO! God damn I love ______!
Why am I broke?
Yo' mama's so fat she ______!
40 acres and a mule.

A chimpanzee in sunglasses fucking your wife.
A crazy little thing called love.
A disappointing salad.
A face full of horse cum.
A giant powdery manbaby.
A mouthful of potato salad.
A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.
A powered exoskeleton.
A reason not to commit suicide.
A team of lawyers.
A whole new kind of porn.
A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.
AIDS monkeys.
All these decorative pillows.
An inability to form meaningful relationships.
An unforgettable quinceanñ era.
An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.
Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.
Ancient Athenian boy-fucking.
Backwards knees.
Being nine years old.
Being paralyzed from the neck down.
Being worshipped as the one true God.
Blackface.
Blowjobs for everyone.
Boring Vaginal sex.
Butt stuff.
Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.
Child support payments.
Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.
Daddy's credit card.
Deez nuts.
Denzel.
Doing the right stuff to her nipples.
Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.
Ennui.
Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.
Free ice cream, yo.
Genghis Khan's DNA.
Getting caught by the police and going to jail.
Getting drive-by shot.
Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.
Giant sperm from outer space.
Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.
Having been dead for a while.
Mom's new boyfriend.
My boyfriend's stupid penis.
My dead son's baseball glove.
My first period.
Not believing in giraffes.
Oil!
Out-of-this-world bazongas.
P.F. Chang himself.
Russian super-tuberculosis.
Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.
Seeing things from Hitler's perspective.
September 11th, 2001.
Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.
Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.
Some shit-hot guitar licks.
Stupid.
The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.
The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.
The black half of Barack Obama.
The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.
The ghost of Marlon Brando.
The inability to form meaningful relationships.
The passage of time.
The swim team, all at once.
The tiger that killed my father.
The unbelievable world of mushrooms.
The white half of Barack Obama.
Too much cocaine.
Unrelenting genital punishment.
Vegetarian options.
Wearing glasses and sounding smart.
Western standards of beauty.
Cards Against Humanity: Sixth Expansion

Released March 30, 2015. Discontinued as of November 21, 2016 as a separate expansion. Still available for purchase while supplies
incorporated into the Blue Box Expansion. Icon: The number "6".
"This is madness." "No, THIS IS ______!"

And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or ______?
Behind every powerful man is ______.
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy ______ by the poo
Don't worry kid. It gets better. I've been living with ______ for 20 years.
Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of ______ in this room.
I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, ______.
I went to the desert and ate of the peyote cactus. Turns out my spirit animal is ______.
I work my ass off all day for this family, and this is what I come home to? ______!?
I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of ______.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to ______.
If you had to describe the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?
James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: ______.
Listen Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me ______.
My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and
Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an intrest in ______. This is n
The six things I could never do without: oxygen, facebook, chocolate, netflix, friends, and ______ LOL!
This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or ______.
To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand ______ without crying out.
Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of ______.
When I was a kid, we used to play Cowboys and ______.
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it ______?
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got ______.
You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with ______ every day.
You know, once you get past ______, ______ ain't so bad.
You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious ______ Bloopers!
A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
A bowl of gourds.
A buttload of candy.
A constant need for validation.
A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.
A peyote-fueled vision quest.
A pizza guy who fucked up.
A possible Muslim.
A self-microwaving burrito.
A turd.
A whole lotta woman.
An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.
An overwhelming variety of cheeses.
Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.
Being a terrible mother.
Being John Malkovich.
Being popular and good at sports.
Beloved television star Bill Cosby.
Breastfeeding a ten year old.
Bullets.
Cancer.
Cool, relatable cancer teens.
Crippling social anxiety.
Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.
Cute boys.
Eating together like a god damn family for once.
Ejaculating inside another man's wife.
Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.
Filling a man's anus with concrete.
Forgetting grandma's first name.
Generally having no idea what's going on.
Getting all offended.
Getting shot out of a cannon.
Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.
Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.
Immortality cream.
Important news about Taylor Swift.
Kale.
Like a million alligators.
Meaningless sex.
Morpheus.
Never having sex again.
No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
One unforgettable night of passion.
Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!
Owls, the perfect predator.
Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.
Pussy.
Rabies.
Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.
Ripping a dog in half.
Robots who just want to party.
Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.
Shapes and colors.
Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.
Such a big boy.
Sucking all the milk out of a yak.
Sudden penis loss.
Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.
Texas.
The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!
The amount of gay I am.
The color "puce".
The dentist.
The eighth graders.
The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.
The male gaze.
The power of the Dark Side.
The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.
Throwing stones at a man until he dies.
Total fucking chaos.
Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.
Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.
Two whales fucking the shit out of each other.
Unsheathing my massive horse cock.
Walking into a glass door.
Whatever you wish, mother.

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v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Response
v1.0 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 Response

v1.0 v1.2 Response
v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response

v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 Response
v1.6 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.4 v1.5 Response
v1.5 v1.6 Response
Response
Response
Special v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 Response
Response
Response
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
DRAW 2, PICK 3 v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.3 v1.4 Response
Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 Response
v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 Response
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 Response
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v1.0 Response
v1.2 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.1 v1.2 Response
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 Set
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
v1.0 v1.1 v1.2
Prompt
Prompt
Special v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 Prompt
Prompt
Prompt
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
DRAW 2, PICK 3 v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
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v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
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v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
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v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 Response
v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 Response
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v1.0 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
Pick 2 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
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v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1 Response
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 Set
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
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v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
v1.0 v1.1 Prompt

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Red Box Expansion
Released November 21, 2016. A combination of the First, Second, and Third Expansions. Icon: A red diamond.
______ would be woefully incomplete without ______.

______: Hours of fun. Easy to use. Perfect for ______!
______. Awesome in theory, kind of a mess in practice.
A remarkable new study has shown that chimps have evolved their own primitive version of ______.
A successful job interview begins with a firm handshake and ends with ______.
After months of practice with ______, I think I’m finally ready for ______.
And I would have gotten away with it, too, if it hadn't been for ______!
And what did you bring for show and tell?
As part of his contract, Prince won’t perform without ______ in his dressing room.
As part of his daily regimen, Anderson Cooper sets aside 15 minutes for ______.
Awww, sick! I just say this skater do a 720 kickflip into ______!
Before ______, all we had was ______.
Before I run for president, I must destroy all evidence of my involvement with ______.
Call the law offices of Goldstein & Goldstein, because no one should have to tolerate ______ in the workplace.
Charades was ruined for me forever when my mom had to act out ______.
Dear Sir or Madam, We regret to inform you that the Office of ______ has denied your request for ______.
Doctor, you've gone too far! The human body wasn't meant to withstand that amount of ______!
During high school I never really fit in until I found ______ club.
During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into ______.
Finally! A service that delivers ______ right to your door.
Future Historians will agree that ______ marked the beginning of America's decline.
Having problems with ______? Try ______!
Hey baby, come back to my place and I’ll show you ______.
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving friend with ______.
I love being a mom. But it's tough when my kids come home filthy from ______. That's why there's Tide®.
I spent my whole life working toward ______, only to have it ruined by ______.
I went from ______ to ______, all thanks to ______.
I’m not like the rest of you. I’m too rich and busy for ______.
In a pinch, ______ can be a suitable substitute for ______.
In his new self-produced album, Kanye West raps over the sounds of ______.
In his newest and most difficult stunt, David Blaine must escape from ______.
In its new tourism campaign, Detroit proudly proclaims that it has finally eliminated ______.
In Rome, there are whisperings that the Vatican has a secret room devoted to ______.
Legend has it Prince wouldn't perform without ______ in his dressing room.
Listen, son. If you want to get involved with ______, I won’t stop you. Just steer clear of ______.
Little Miss Muffet Sat on a tuffet, Eating her curds and ______.
Lovin’ you is easy ’cause you’re ______.
Members of New York's social elite are paying thousands of dollars just to experience ______.
Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits ______ against ______.
Money can’t buy me love, but it can buy me ______.
My country, 'tis of thee, sweet land of ______.
My life is ruled by a vicious cycle of ______ and ______.
My mom freaked out when she looked at my browser history and found ______.com/______.
My new favorite porn star is Joey "______" McGee.
My plan for world domination begins with ______.
Next time on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about ______.
Next week on the Discovery Channel, one man must survive in the depths of the Amazon with only ______ and his
Science will never explain ______.
The blind date was going horribly until we discovered our shared interest in ______.
The CIA now interrogates enemy agents by repeatedly subjecting them to ______.
The healing process began when I joined a support group for victims of ______.
The secret to a lasting marriage is communication, communication, and ______.
This is your captain speaking. Fasten your seatbelts and prepare for ______.
This month's Cosmo: "Spice up your sex life by bringing ______ into the bedroom."
To prepare for his upcoming role, Daniel Day-Lewis immersed himself in the world of ______.
Tonight on 20/20: What you don't know about ______ could kill you.
Turns out that ______-Man was neither the hero we needed nor wanted.
Welcome to Senñ or Frog's! Would you like to try our signature cocktail, “______ on the Beach"?
What brought the orgy to a grinding halt?
What has been making life difficult at the nudist colony?
What left this stain on my couch?
What's harshing my mellow, man?
When all else fails, I can always masturbate to ______.
When I pooped, what came out of my butt?
When you get right down to it, ______ is just ______.
With enough time and pressure, ______ will turn into ______.
You haven't truly lived until you've experienced ______ and ______ at the same time.
Your persistence is admirable, my dear Prince. But you cannot win my heart with ______ alone.
24-hour media coverage.

A 55-gallon drum of lube.
A big black dick.
A bigger, blacker dick.
A black-owned and operated business.
A bloody pacifier.
A boo-boo.
A botched circumcision.
A Burmese tiger pit.
A cop who is also a dog.
A crappy little hand.
A fat bald man from the internet.
A fortuitous turnip harvest.
A greased-up Matthew McConaughey.
A Japanese toaster you can fuck.
A Japanese tourist who wants something very badly but cannot communicate it.
A lamprey swimming up the toilet and latching onto your taint.
A low standard of living.
A magic hippie love cloud.
A man in yoga pants with a ponytail and feather earrings.
A nautical theme.
A nuanced critique.
A passionate Latino lover.
A phantasmagoria of anal delights.
A pile of squirming bodies.
A pinñ ata full of scorpions.
A plunger to the face.
A PowerPoint presentation.
A sad fat dragon with no friends.
A sales team of clowns and pedophiles.
A slightly shittier parallel universe.

A smiling black man, a latina businesswoman, a cool Asian, and some whites.
A sofa that says “I have style, but I like to be comfortable.”
A spontaneous conga line.
A squadron of moles wearing aviator goggles.
A surprising amount of hair.
A sweaty, panting leather daddy.
A sweet spaceship.
A vagina that leads to another dimension.
A web of lies.
Actually getting shot, for real.
All my friends dying.
All of this blood.
An all-midget production of Shakespeare’s Richard III.
An army of skeletons.
An ass disaster.
An ether-soaked rag.
An Etsy steampunk strap-on.
An evil man in evil clothes.
An unhinged ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.
An unhinged Ferris wheel rolling toward the sea.

An unstoppable wave of fire ants.
Andreé the Giant's enormous, leathery scrotum.
Another shot of morphine.
Basic human decency.
Being a busy adult with many important things to do.
Being a dinosaur.
Being a hideous beast that no one could love.
Being awesome at sex.
Being black.
Being white.
Big Bird's brown, crusty asshole.
Big ol' floppy titties.
Bill Clinton, naked on a bearskin rug with a saxophone.
Blood farts.
Blowing some dudes in an alley.
Boris the Soviet Love Hammer.
Bosnian chicken farmers.
Bullshit.
Buying the right pants to be cool.
Catastrophic urethral trauma.
Chugging a lava lamp.
Clams.
Clenched butt cheeks.
Cock.
Consent.
Converting to Islam.
Crabapples all over the fucking sidewalk.
Crushing Mr. Peanut's brittle body.
Crying into the pages of Sylvia Plath.
Cumming deep inside my best bro.
Dad's funny balls.
Daddy's belt.
Death by Steven Seagal.
Demonic possession.
Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of "Friends."
Dining with cardboard cutouts of the cast of Friends.
Disco fever.
Dorito breath.
Double penetration.
Drinking my bro's pee-pee right out of his peen.
Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs® to get fifty continuous hours of energy.
Dying alone and in pain.
Eating an albino.
Eating Tom Selleck’s mustache to gain his powers.
Emotional baggage.
Enormous Scandinavian women.
Existing.
Fabricating statistics.
Fetal alcohol syndrome.
Filling every orifice with butterscotch pudding.
Filling my son with spaghetti.
Finding Waldo.
Fisting.
Flying robots that kill people.
Fuck Mountain.
Gandalf.
Gargling jizz.
Gay aliens.
Genetically engineered super-soldiers.
George Clooney's musk.
Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Blue Man Group.
Getting your dick stuck in a Chinese finger trap with another dick.
Going around punching people.
Grandpa's ashes.
Graphic violence, adult language, and some sexual content.
Having $57 in the bank.
Having a penis.
Having sex on top of a pizza.
Having shotguns for legs.
Hillary Clinton.
Hipsters.
Hot doooooooogs.
How awesome it is to be white.
How wet my pussy is.
Indescribable loneliness.
Insatiable bloodlust.
Intimacy problems.
Jafar.
Jeff Goldblum.
Jesus.
Jumping out at people.
Just the tip.
Letting everyone down.
Leveling up.
Literally eating shit.
Living in a trash can.
Living in a trashcan.
Loki, the trickster god.
Mad hacky-sack skills.
Making a friend.
Making shit up.
Making the penises kiss.
Maximal insertion.
Me.
Medieval Times® Dinner & Tournament.
Mild autism.
Mom.
Mooing.
Moral ambiguity.
Mufasa’s death scene.
Multiple orgasms.
My father, who died when I was seven.
My first kill.
My machete.
My manservant, Claude.
Not contributing to society in any meaningful way.
Not having sex.
Nothing.
Nubile slave boys.
Nunchuck moves.
Ominous background music.
Oncoming traffic.
One Ring to rule them all.
One thousand Slim Jims.
Overpowering your father.
Power.
Pretty Pretty Princess Dress-Up Board Game®.
Pumping out a baby every nine months.
Putting an entire peanut butter and jelly sandwich into the VCR.
Quiche.
Racial profiling.
Revenge fucking.
Reverse cowgirl.
Rich people.
Ripping into a man's chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.
Ripping open a man’s chest and pulling out his still-beating heart.
Rising from the grave.
Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
Running naked through a mall, pissing and shitting everywhere.
Ryan Gosling riding in on a white horse.
Samuel L. Jackson.
Sanding off a man's nose.
Santa Claus.
Savagely beating a mascot.
Screaming like a maniac.
Scrotal frostbite.
Scrotum tickling.
Self-flagellation.
Sexual humiliation.
Shaft.
Shitting out a screaming face.
Shutting the fuck up.
Slapping a racist old lady.
Sneezing, farting, and cumming at the same time.
Some douche with an acoustic guitar.
Some kind of bird-man.
Some really fucked-up shit.
Sorcery.
Special musical guest, Cher.
Spending lots of money.
Staring at a painting and going "hmmmmmm..."
Statistically validated stereotypes.
Stockholm Syndrome
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
Sudden Poop Explosion Disease.
Suicidal thoughts.
Suicide bombers.
Survivor's guilt.
Swiftly achieving orgasm.
Syphilitic insanity.
Taking a man's eyes and balls out and putting his eyes where his balls go and then his balls in the eye holes.
That ass.
The baby that ruined my pussy.
The black Power Ranger.
The boners of the elderly.
The day the birds attacked.
The economy.
The entire Internet.
The flute.
The four arms of Vishnu.
The Gulags.
The Harlem Globetrotters.
The harsh light of day.
The hiccups.
The hose.
The human body.
The Land of Chocolate.
The mere concept of Applebee's®.
The milk that comes out of a person.
The mixing of the races.
The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
The new Radiohead album.
The ooze.
The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
The prunes I've been saving for you in my armpits.
The Quesadilla Explosion Salad™ from Chili’s.®
The shambling corpse of Larry King.
The systematic destruction of an entire people and their way of life.
The thin veneer of situational causality that underlies porn.
The total collapse of the global financial system.
The way white people is.
The worst pain imaginable. Times two!
Three months in the hole.
Tiny nipples.
Tongue.
Tripping balls.
Unlimited soup, salad, and breadsticks.
Velcro™.
Vietnam flashbacks.
Vomiting mid-blowjob.
Walking in on Dad peeing into Mom's mouth.
Warm, velvety muppet sex.
Weapons-grade plutonium.
Wearing an octopus for a hat.
Whining like a little bitch.
Whipping a disobedient slave.
White power.
Words, words, words.
Zeus's sexual appetites.
Blue Box Expansion

Released November 21, 2016. A combination of the Fourth, Fifth, and Sixth Expansions. Icon: A blue triangle.
______ may pass, but ______ will last forever.
______ will never be the same after ______.
"This is madness." "No, THIS IS ______!"
2 AM in the city that never sleeps. The door swings open and she walks in, legs up to here. Something in her eyes tells me
Adventure. Romance. ______. From Paramount Pictures, "______."
And today's soup is Cream of ______.
And would you like those buffalo wings mild, hot, or ______?
Armani suit: $1,000. Dinner for two at that swanky restaurant: $300. The look on her face when you surprise her with __
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?
Behind every powerful man is ______.
Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy ______ by the poo
Dammit Gary. You can't just solve every problem with ______.
Dear Leader Kim Jong-un, our village praises your infinite wisdom with a humble offering of ______.
Do not fuck with me! I am literally ______ right now.
Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew ______!
Do you lack energy? Does it sometimes feel like the whole world is ______ ? Ask your doctor about Zoloft.®
Don't forget! Beginning this week, Casual Friday will officially become "______ Friday."
Don't worry kid. It gets better. I've been living with ______ for 20 years.
Every step towards ______ gets me a little bit closer to ______.
Everybody join hands and close your eyes. Do you sense that? That's the presence of ______ in this room.
Forget everything you know about ______, because now we've supercharged it with ______!
Get ready for the movie of the summer! One cop plays by the book. The other's only interested in one thing: ______.
Having the worst day EVER. #______
Heed my voice, mortals! I am the god of ______ , and I will not tolerate ______!
Help me doctor, I've got ______ in my butt!

Here at the Academy for Gifted Children, we allow students to explore ______ at their own pace.
Hi MTV! My name is Kendra, I live in Malibu, I'm into ______, and I love to have a good time.
Hi, this is Jim from accounting. We noticed a $1,200 charge labeled "______." Can you explain?
Honey, I have a new role-play I want to try tonight! You can be ______, and I'll be ______.
How am I compensating for my tiny penis?
I am become ______, destroyer of ______!
I don't mean to brag, but they call me the Micheal Jordan of ______.
I have a strict policy. First date, dinner. Second date, kiss. Third date, ______.
I work my ass off all day for this family, and this is what I come home to? ______!?
I'm Miss Tennessee, and if I could make the world better by changing one thing, I would get rid of ______.
I'm pretty sure I'm high right now, because I"m absolutely mesmerized by ______.
I'm sorry, Mrs. Chen, but there was nothing we could do. At 4:15 this morning, your son succumbed to ______.
I'm sorry, sir, but we don't allow ______ at the country club.
If you can't handle ______, you'd better stay away from ______.
If you had to describe the Card Czar, using only one of the cards in your hand, which one would it be?
In his farewell address, George Washington famously warned Americans about the dangers of ______.
In his new action comedy, Jackie Chan must fend off ninjas while also dealing with ______.
In return for my soul, the Devil promised me ______, but all I got was ______.
In the beginning, there was ______. And the Lord said, "Let there be ______."
It lurks in the night. It hungers for flesh. This summer, no one is safe from ______.
James is a lonely boy. But when he discovers a secret door in his attic, he meets a magical new friend: ______.
Life's pretty tough in the fast lane. That's why I never leave the house without ______.
Listen Gary, I like you. But if you want that corner office, you're going to have to show me ______.
Man, this is bullshit. Fuck ______.
My grandfather worked his way up from nothing. When he came to this country, all he had was the shoes on his feet and
Now in bookstores: "The Audacity of ______" by Barack Obama.
Oprah's book of the month is "______ For ______: A Story of Hope."
Patient presents with ______. Likely a result of ______.
Puberty is a time of change. You might notice hair growing in new places. You might develop an intrest in ______. This is n
She's up all night for good fun. I'm up all night for ______.
The Japanese have developed a smaller, more efficient version of ______.
The six things I could never do without: oxygen, Facebook, chocolate, Netflix, friends, and ______ LOL!
This is America. If you don't work hard, you don't succeed. I don't care if you're black, white, purple, or ______.
This is the prime of my life. I'm young, hot, and full of ______.
This year's hottest album is "______" by ______.
To become a true Yanomami warrior, you must prove that you can withstand ______ without crying out.
To become a true Yanomamo warrior, you must prove that you can withstand ______ without crying out.
Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of ______.
We never did find ______, but along the way we sure learned a lot about ______.
Well if ______ is good enough for ______, it's good enough for me.
Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for ______
Wes Anderson's new film tells the story of a precocious child coming to terms with ______.
What killed my boner?
What's fun until it gets weird?
What's making things awkward in the sauna?
When I was a kid, we used to play Cowboys and ______.
WHOOO! God damn I love ______!
Why am I broke?
Why won't you make love to me anymore? Is it ______?
Y'all ready to get this thing started? I'm Nick Cannon, and this is America's Got ______.
Yo' mama's so fat she ______!
You are not alone. Millions of Americans struggle with ______ every day.
You guys, I saw this crazy movie last night. It opens on ______, and then there's some stuff about ______, and then it ends wi
You know, once you get past ______, ______ ain't so bad.
You Won't Believe These 15 Hilarious ______ Bloopers!
You've seen the bearded lady! You've seen the ring of fire! Now, ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes upon ______!
10 Incredible Facts About the Anus.

40 acres and a mule.
A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
A bunch of idiots playing a card game instead of interacting like normal humans.
A buttload of candy.
A chimpanzee in sunglasses fucking your wife.
A constant need for validation.
A crazy little thing called love.
A dance move that's just sex.
A disappointing salad.
A face full of horse cum.
A fart.
A for-real lizard that spits blood from its eyes.
A gender identity that can only be conveyed through slam poetry.
A giant powdery manbaby.
A hopeless amount of spiders.
A horse with no legs.
A kiss on the lips.
A man who is so cool that he rides on a motorcycle.
A manhole.
A mouthful of potato salad.
A Native American who solves crimes by going into the spirit world.
A one-way ticket to Gary, Indiana.
A peyote-fueled vision quest.
A pizza guy who fucked up.
A possible Muslim.
A reason not to commit suicide.
A self-microwaving burrito.
A sex comet from Neptune that plunges the Earth into eternal sexiness.
A sex goblin with a carnival penis.
A shiny rock that proves I love you.
A team of lawyers.
A thrilling chase over the rooftops of Rio de Janeiro.
A turd.
A Ugandan warlord.
A whole lotta woman.
A whole new kind of porn.
A woman.
A zero-risk way to make $2,000 from home.
Actual mutants with medical conditions and no superpowers.
Africa.
AIDS monkeys.
All the single ladies.
All these decorative pillows.
Almost giving money to a homeless person.
Ambiguous sarcasm.
An inability to form meaningful relationships.
An interracial handshake.
An oppressed people with a vibrant culture.
An overwhelming variety of cheeses.

An unforgettable quinceanñ era.
An uninterrupted history of imperialism and exploitation.
Anal fissures like you wouldn't believe.
Ancient Athenian boy-fucking.
Angelheaded hipsters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo in the machinery of night.
Ass to mouth.
Backwards knees.
Bathing in moonsblood and dancing around the ancient oak.
Being a terrible mother.
Being John Malkovich.
Being nine years old.
Being paralyzed from the neck down.
Being popular and good at sports.
Being worshipped as the one true God.
Beloved television star Bill Cosby.
Blackface.
Blackula.
Blowjobs for everyone.
Boring Vaginal sex.
Bouncing up and down.
Breastfeeding a ten year old.
Breastfeeding a ten-year-old.
Bullets.
Butt stuff.
Calculating every mannerism so as not to suggest homosexuality.
Cancer.
Changing a person's mind with logic and facts.
Child Protective Services.
Child support payments.
Common-sense gun control legislation.
Cool, relatable cancer teens.
Crazy opium eyes.
Crippling social anxiety.
Crying and shitting and eating spaghetti.
Cute boys.
Cutting off a flamingo's legs with garden shears.
Daddy.
Daddy's credit card.
Deez nuts.
Dem titties.
Depression.
Doing the right stuff to her nipples.
Doo-doo.
Drinking responsibly.
Eating together like a god damn family for once.
Eggs.
Ejaculating inside another man's wife.
Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.
Ennui.
Every ounce of charisma left in Mick Jagger's tired body.
Exploding pigeons.
Falling into the toilet.
Figuring out how to have sex with a dolphin.
Free ice cream, yo.
Fresh dill from the patio.
Fucking a corpse back to life.
Generally having no idea what's going on.
Genghis Khan's DNA.
Getting all offended.
Getting caught by the police and going to jail.
Getting drive-by shot.
Getting eaten alive by Guy Fieri.
Getting offended.
Getting shot by the police.
Getting shot out of a cannon.
Giant sperm from outer space.
Going down on a woman, discovering that her vagina is filled with eyeballs, and being totally into that.
Going inside at some point because of the mosquitoes.
Going to a high school reunion on ketamine.
Grammar nazis who are also regular Nazis.
Growing up chained to a radiator in perpetual darkness.
Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.
Having been dead for a while.
How awesome I am.
Immortality cream.
Important news about Taylor Swift.
Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other.
Interspecies marriage.
Irrefutable evidence that God is real.
Jizz.
Kale.
Khakis.
Letting out 20 years’ worth of farts.
Like a million alligators.
Lots and lots of abortions.
Meaningless sex.
Moderate-to-severe joint pain.
Mom's new boyfriend.
Morpheus.
My boyfriend's stupid penis.
My dad's dumb fucking face.
My dead son's baseball glove.
My first period.
My sex dungeon.
My worthless son.
Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits.
Never having sex again.
No clothes on, penis in vagina.
No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
Not believing in giraffes.
Oil!
One unforgettable night of passion.
Our new Buffalo Chicken Dippers®!
Out-of-this-world bazongas.
Owls, the perfect predator.
P.F. Chang himself.
Party Mexicans.
Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.
Prince Ali, fabulous he, Ali Ababwa.
Pussy.
Rabies.
Reading the entire End-User License Agreement.
Ripping a dog in half.
Robots who just want to party.
Russian super-tuberculosis.
Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.
Seeing things from Hitler's perspective.
September 11th, 2001.
Setting my balls on fire and cartwheeling to Ohio.
Shapes and colors.
Sharks with legs.
Shitting all over the floor like a bad, bad girl.
Slowly easing down onto a cucumber.
Smoking crack, for instance.
Snorting coke off a clown's boner.
Social justice warriors with flamethrowers of compassion.
Some shit-hot guitar licks.
Some sort of Asian.
Sports.
Stuffing a child's face with Fun Dip® until he starts having fun.
Stupid.
Such a big boy.
Sucking all the milk out of a yak.
Sudden penis loss.
Teaching a girl how to handjob the penis.
Texas.
The Abercrombie & Fitch lifestyle.
The all-new Nissan Pathfinder with 0.9% APR financing!
The basic suffering that pervades all of existence.
The best taquito in the galaxy.
The black half of Barack Obama.
The color "puce".
The complex geopolitical quagmire that is the Middle East.
The dentist.
The eight gay warlocks who dictate the rules of fashion.
The eighth graders.
The euphoric rush of strangling a drifter.
The ghost of Marlon Brando.
The haunting stare of an Iraqi child.
The inability to form meaningful relationships.
The male gaze.
The passage of time.
The peaceful and nonthreatening rise of China.
The power of the Dark Side.
The safe word.
The secret formula for ultimate female satisfaction.
The size of my penis.
The sweet song of sword against sword and the braying of mighty war beasts.
The swim team, all at once.
The tiger that killed my father.
The tiniest shred of evidence that God is real.
The unbelievable world of mushrooms.
The white half of Barack Obama.
Three consecutive seconds of happiness.
Throwing stones at a man until he dies.
Too much cocaine.
Total fucking chaos.
Treasures beyond your wildest dreams.
Turning the rivers red with the blood of infidels.
Two whales fucking the shit out of each other.
Unquestioning obedience.
Unrelenting genital punishment.
Unsheathing my massive horse cock.
Vegetarian options.
Walking into a glass door.
Wearing glasses and sounding smart.
Western standards of beauty.
Whatever a McRib® is made of.
Whatever you wish, mother.
Whispering all sexy.
Green Box Expansion

Released November 21, 2016. Icon: A green circle.
______ be all like ______.

______: Brought to you by ______.
Art isn’t just a painting in a stuffy museum. Art is alive. Art is ______.
As reparations for slavery, all African Americans will receive ______.
As Teddy Roosevelt said, the four manly virtues are honor, temperance, industry, and ______.
Best you go back where you came from, now. We don’t take too kindly to ______ in these parts.
CNN breaking news! Scientists discover ______.
Coming to Red Lobster® this month, ______.
Congratulations! You have been selected for our summer internship program. While we are unable to offer a salary, we c
Dance like there’s nobody watching, love like you’ll never be hurt, and live like you’re ______.
Errbody in the club ______.
Feeling so grateful! #amazing #mylife #______.
Girls just wanna have ______.
Google Calendar alert: ______ in 10 minutes.
I don’t believe in God. I believe in ______.
I got rhythm, I’ve got music, I’ve got ______. Who could ask for anything more?
I may not be much to look at, but I fuck like ______.
I tell you, it was a non-stop fuckfest. When it was over, my asshole looked like ______.
I’ll take the BBQ bacon burger with friend egg and fuck it how about ______.
I’m sorry, sir, but your insurance plan doesn’t cover injuries caused by ______.
I’ve had a horrible vision, father. I saw mountains crumbling, stars falling from the sky. I saw ______.
If at first you don’t succeed, try ______.
In the 1950s, psychologists prescribed ______ as a cure for homosexually.
LSD + ______ = really bad time.
Mom’s to-do list:
* Buy Groceries
* Clean up ______.
* Soccer Practice.
Most Americans would not vote for a candidate who is openly ______.
No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! I will NOT let ______ ruin this wedding.
Oh no! Siri, how do I fix ______?
One more thing. Watch out for Big Mike. They say he killed a man with ______.
Ooo, daddy like ______.
Poor Brandon, still living in his parent’s basement. I heard he never got over ______.
Run, run, as fast as you can! You can’t catch me, I’m ______!
She’s a lady in the streets, ______ in the sheets.
She’s just one of the guys, you know? She likes beer, and football, and ______.
Son, take it from someone who’s been around the block a few times. Nothin’ puts her in the mood like ______.
Summer lovin’, had me a blast. ______, happened so fast.
The top Google auto-complete results for “Barack Obama”:
Barack Obama Height.
Barack Obama net worth.
Barack Obama ______.
Then the princess kissed the frog, and all of a sudden the frog was ______!
There is no God. It’s just ______ and then you die.
This Friday at the Liquid Lunge, it’s ______ Night! Ladies drink free.
We do not shake with our left hands in this country. That is the hand we use for ______.
Well if ______ is a crime, then lock me up!
Well, shit. My eyes ain’t so good, but I’ll eat my own boot if that ain’t ______!
What are all those whales singing about?
What sucks balls?
What totally destroyed my asshole?
What turned me into a Republican?
What will end racism once and for all?
What’s a total waste of Hillary Clinton’s time?
What’s about to take dance floor to the next level?
What’s the gayest?
What’s the most problematic?
Why am I laughing and crying and taking off my clothes?
With a one-time gift of just $10, you can save this child from ______.
You know who else liked ______? Hitler.
You won’t believe what’s in my pussy. It’s ______.
10 football players with erections barrelling towards you at full speed.

10,000 shrieking teenage girls.
A big ol’ plate of fettuccini alfredo.
A big, beautiful mouth packed to the brim with sparkling white teeth.
A black friend.
A burrito that’s just sour cream.
A cheerfulness that belies a deep-seated self-loathing.
A cold and indifferent universe.
A creature made of penises that must constantly arouse itself to survive.
A creepy child singing a nursery rhyme.
A dolphin that learns to talk and becomes the Dean of Harvard Law School.
A duffel bag full of lizards.
A finger up the butt.
A genetic predisposition for alcoholism.
A gun that shoots cobras.
A hug.
A long business meeting with no obvious purpose.
A man in a suit with perfect hair who tells you beautiful lies.
A man with the head of a goat and the body of a goat.
A massive collection of child pornography.
A medium horchata.
A negative body image that is totally justified.
A slowly encroaching circle of wolves.
A strong horse and enough rations for thirty days.
A terrified fat child who won’t come out of the bushes.
A tiny fireman who puts out tiny fires.
A weird guy who says weird stuff and weirds me out.
A woman’s perspective.
A woman’s right to choose.
Aborting the shit out of a fetus.
Albert Einstein but if he had huge muscles and a rhinoceros cock.
All the people I’ve killed.
An arrangement wherein I give a person money and they have sex with me.
An empowered woman.
An incurable homosexual.
An old dog dragging its anus across the floor.
An old dog full of tumors.
An older man.
An X-Man whose power is that he has sex with dogs and children.
Anal.
Antidepressants.
Art.
Assassinating the president.
Awesome pictures of planets and stuff.
Bad emotions I don’t want.
Becoming the President of the United States.
Being sexually attracted to children.
Being turned into sausages.
Beyonceé .
Big, smart money boys tap-tapping on their keyboards.
Blossoming into a beautiful young woman.
Breastfeeding in public like a radiant earth goddess.
Brunch.
Catching a live salmon in your mouth.
Child labor.
China.
Chipotle.
Chris Hemsworth.
Comprehensive immigration reform.
Condoleezza Rice.
Consensual, nonreproductive incest.
Content.
Crazy anal orgasms.
Creamy slices of real, California avocado.
Critical thinking.
Crushing the patriarchy.
Daddy going away forever.
Defeating a gorilla in single combat.
Denying the Holocaust.
Dis bitch.
Discovering that what I really want in life is to kill people and have sex with their corpses.
Doing a somersault and barfing.
Dominating a man by peeing on his eldest son.
Doritos and a Fruit Roll-Up.
Dropping dead in a Sbarro’s bathroom and not being found for 72 hours.
Dumpster juice.
Eating ass.
Eating people.
Eating too many Cinnabons and then vomiting and then eating the vomit.
Ejaculating at the apex of a cartwheel.
Esmeralda, my most beautiful daughter.
Eternal screaming madness.
Every man’s ultimate fantasy: a perfectly cylindrical vagina.
Everything.
Exploring each other’s buttholes.
Facilitating dialogue and deconstructing binaries.
Falling into a pit of waffles.
Farting a huge shit out of my pussy.
Farting all over my face with your tight little asshole.
Feeling the emotion of anger.
Feminism.
Film roles for actresses over 40.
Finding a nice elevator to poop in.
Forty-five minutes of finger blasting.
Founding a major world religion.
Fucking me good and taking me to Red Lobster.®
Fucking my therapist.
Gary.
Gay thoughts.
Gayle from HR.
Gazpacho.
Getting aborted.
Getting blasted in the face by a t-shirt cannon.
Getting eaten out by a dog.
Getting high with mom.
Getting killed and dragged up a tree by a leopard.
Getting laid like all the time.
Getting naked too soon.
Getting pegged.
Getting the Dorito crumbs out of my pubes.
Getting this party started!
Getting trapped in a conversation about Ayn Rand.
Going around pulling people’s tampons out.
Going to bed at a reasonable hour.
Gregor, my largest son.
Grunting for ten minutes and then peeing sand.
Guns.
Happy daddies with happy sandals.
Hating Jews.
Having a vagina.
Having an awesome time drinking and driving.
Having sex with a beautiful person.
Having sex with a man and then eating his head.
Having sex with your mom.
Holding the proper political beliefs of my time to attract a mate.
Homework.
Hot lettuce.
How good lead paint taste.
How great my ass looks in these jeans.
How sad it will be when Morgan Freeman dies.
How strange it is to be anything at all.
Huge big balls full of jizz.
Informing you that I am a registered sex offender.
ISIS.
It being too late to stop having sex with a horse.
Jason, the teen mayor.
Jazz.
Just now finding out about the Armenian Genocide.
Late-stage dementia.
Libertarians.
Loud, scary thunder.
Making out and stuff.
Math.
Meatloaf, the food.
Meatloaf, the man.
Menopause.
Mental illness.
Microaggressions.
Misogyny.
Mixing M&Ms and Skittles like some kind of psychopath.
Mommy and daddy fighting all the time.
Moon people.
Munchin’ puss.
My brother’s hot friends.
My dog dying.
My huge penis and substantial fortune.
Objectifying women.
One of them big-city Jew lawyers.
One of those “blow jobs” I’ve been hearing so much about.
Onions.
Opening your mouth to talk and a big penis flops out.
Our baby.
Out-of-control teenage blowjob parties.
Overthrowing the democratically-elected government of Chile.
Participating.
Period poops.
Picking up a glass of water and taking a sip and being the president.
Playing my asshole like a trumpet.
Plowing that ass like a New England corn farmer.
Political correctness.
Pooping in a leotard and hoping no one notices.
Pooping in the potty.
Prematurely ejaculating like a total loser.
Pretending to be one of the guys but actually being the spider god.
Putting more black people in jail.
Quacking like a duck in lieu of a cogent argument.
Quinoa.
Raising three kids on minimum wage.
Reaching an age where barbecue chips are better than sex.
Regurgitating a half-digested sparrow.
Restoring Germany to its former glory.
Rock-hard tits and a huge vagina.
Rolling so hard.
Rubbing my bush all over your bald head.
Salsa Night at Dave’s Cantina.
Scissoring, if that’s a thing.
Seizing control of the means of production.
Self-identifying as a DJ.
Showering praise upon the Sultan’s hideous daughters.
Showing all the boys my pussy.
Slamming a dunk.
Smashing my balls at the moment of climax.
Some of that good dick.
Some real spicy shrimps.
Starting a shitty podcast.
Straight blazin’ 24/7.
Sucking each other’s penises for hours on end.
Sudden and unwanted slam poetry.
Systems and policies designed to preserve centuries-old power structures.
Tables.
Taking the form of a falcon.
Tender chunks of all-white-meat chicken.
That bitch, Stacy.
That chicken from Popeyes. ®
The amount of baby carrots I can fit up my ass.
The best, deepest quotes from The Dark Knight.
The body of a 46-year-old man.
The bond between a woman and her horse.
The clown that followed me home from the grocery store.
The fear and hatred in men’s hearts.
The feeling of going to McDonald’s as a 6-year-old.
The flaming wreckage of the International Space Station.
The full force of the American military.
The full-blown marginalization of ugly people.
The government.
The graceful path of an autumn leaf as it falls to its earthen cradle.
The hottest MILF in Dallas.
The LGBT community.
The lived experience of African Americans.
The mysterious fog rolling into town.
The ol’ penis-in-the-popcorn surprise.
The Rwandan Genocide.
The secret to truly resilient hair.
The sweet, forbidden meat of the monkey.
The wind.
Thinking about what eating even is.
Three hours of nonstop penetration.
Tiny, rancid girl farts.
Trees.
Trevor, the world’s greatest boyfriend.
Turning 32.
Twenty bucks.
Twenty cheerleaders laughing at your tiny penis.
Twisting my cock and balls into a balloon poodle.
Two beautiful pig sisters.
Two shitty kids and a garbage husband.
Waking up inside of a tornado.
Watching a hot person eat.
Watching you die.
Water.
When the big truck goes “Toot! Toot!”
Who really did 9/11.
Whomsoever let the dogs out.
Whooping your ass at Mario Kart.
Working so hard to have muscles and then having them.
You.
Bigger Blacker Box

Includes 50 blank cards, the 20-card Box Expansion, and some surprises. BBBv1 also included foam block spacers and b
Icon: A box.
BBBv1 released August 30, 2013. BBBv2 released November 21, 2016. Please Do Not Buy This Product box released Nov
Hidden cards in each BBB is printed with silver foil.
Procedurally Generated cards are unique in each BBBv2. Those listed here were shared on the Cards Against Humanity s
Cards Against Humanity: Box Expansion

The box these comes in says "Instructions for use: 1. Do not." There is also nutrition information printed on the foam
A box of biscuits, a box of mixed biscuits, and a biscuit mixer.

A box that is conscious and wishes it weren't a box.
A box within a box.
A box without hinges, key, or lid, yet golden treasure inside is hid.
A box-shaped man.
A box.
A boxing match with a giant box.
A falcon with a box on its head.
A man-shaped box.
A world without boxes.
An alternate universe in which boxes store things inside of people.
An outbreak of smallbox.
Being a motherfucking box.
Boxing up my feelings.
Former President George W. Box.
Pandora's vagina.
Something that looks like a box but turns out to be a crate.
The Boxcar Children.
The J15 Patriot Assault Box.
Two midgets shitting into a box.
The biggest, blackest dick.

A dick so big that it is a problematic stereotype.
The even biggest, blackester dick.
Procedurally-Generated Cards
Icon: Criss-crossing arrows.
Comes in a small manila envelope printed with the following: "Enclosed within this envelope is one (1) completely unique pr
Against Humanity card. You now own the only copy of this card that will ever exist. We hope this will make you briefly happy
-- The CAH Team"
Last Updated 8/22/2017
A funny little boss with an epic pair of nipples.

A muscular cop with an epic pair of tits.
A happy wizard with the world's biggest dick.
A moaning wizard with a sopping wet asshole.
A dentist with a sopping wet pecker.
A huge surgeon with a hairy scrotum.
A trembling woman with the world's biggest asshole.
A smiling Rabbi with a weird ballsack.
An otherwise unremarkable woman with an epic ballsack.
A cranky surgeon with a glorious pussy.
A fat horse with a spectacular ballsack.
A regular Rabbi with a glistening scrotum.
A trembling grandfather with history's greatest twat.
A cranky hunk with a perfectly-formed asshole.
A hard-working nerd with a weird scrotum.
A cranky congressman with an impressive scrotum.
A lonely farmer with a glorious pair of nipples.
A winking Batman with a crappy pair of nipples.
Yet another surgeon with a creamy pecker.
An average dentist with a glorious scrotum.
A Gay Prince With A Sopping Wet Vagina.
A happy President with a tiny, upsetting dong.
A regular garbageman with a creamy pair of tits.
A happy Republican with a perfectly-formed butthole.
A hard-working milkman with an impressive dick.
A moaning novelist with a smooth dingus.
A huge dad with a smooth penis.
An eager nurse with a shit-covered taint.
A mean garbageman with a smooth erection.
A winking milkman with a glorious pair of nipples.
A muscular prince with a spectacular twat.
Yet another grandfather with an inspiring dong.
A large farmer with a surprisingly large taint.
Some kind of nurse with a creamy taint.
A funny little bro with a glorious pair of tits.
An ordinary woman with a glistening twat.
A tall Republican with a spectacular pair of tits.
A hard-working milkman with the world's smallest vagina.
An eager nerd with a crappy taint.
A cranky CEO with the world's biggest dingus.
A huge fireman with history's greatest anus.
A hot school teacher with an inspiring vagina.
An ordinary CEO with a perfectly-formed scrotum.
A huge dragon with a tiny, upsetting pussy.
A muscular Batman with a tremendous ballsack.
A gay wizard with an inspiring asshole.
An ordinary bro with a shit-covered penis.
A happy woman with a beautiful dick.
A tall Republican with a glorious cock.
A gay prince with a sopping wet vagina.
A fat cop with a surprisingly large erection.
A horny woman with a surprisingly large penis.
A happy woman with a shit-covered cock.
A muscular milkman with a glistening dick.
A trembling guy with an extra erection.
Some kind of god with a surprising large asshole.
A winking congressman with a creamy asshole.
Some kind of woman with a sopping wet clitoris.
A fat guy with a beautiful scrotum.
A tiny prince with a perfectly-formed dick.
A sad nerd with a glorious vagina.
A gorgeous grandfather with history's greatest butthole.
A lonely boss with a wonderful asshole.
A hard-working guy with a crappy clitoris.
A gay fireman with a sopping wet vagina.
A happy woman with a shit-covered cock.
A gorgeous cop with a sopping wet penis.
A tiny Batman with the world's smallest pair of nipples.
An otherwise unremarkablenurse with history's greatest scrotum.
A gay nurse with a glorious anus.
A gay CEO with a shit-covered dong.
An average garbageman with an infinite vagina.
A grandfather with a creamy dingus.
A smiling prince with a sopping wet dingus.
A laid-back prince with the world's biggest butthole.
A trembling mom with a shit-covered asshole.
A hard-working grandfather with a surprisingly large dingus.
A horny mom with an infinite cock.
A horny surgeon with a weird dong.
A gorgeous dragon with a spectacular twat.
An otherwise unremarkable god with a shit-covered vagina.
A mean CEO with a wonderful taint.
A tiny school teacher with history's greatest pair of tits.
A happy Rabbi with a chocolate-covered ballsack.
An eager cop with an extra ballsack.
A hot hipster with the world's smallest pair of nipples.
Some kind of hunk with a shit-covered dingus.
A tiny dentist with a sopping wet taint.
A muscular woman with the world's biggest pair of nipples.
A mean President with a perfectly-formed clitoris.
A winking god with a weird ballsack.
A trembling teacher with a weird ballsack.
A smiling farmer with the world's biggest pussy.
A sad god with a shit-covered pair of nipples.
A hard working nerd with a weird scrotum.
An otherwise unremarkable mom with a glistening dingus.
An average dragon with a glistening clitoris.
A large dog with a weird taint.
A huge cop with a perfectly-formed clitoris.
Yet another Batman with an epic pecker.
A moaning mom with a shit-covered ballsack.
A gay fireman with an impressive anus.
A laid-back superhero with an extra taint.
A fat Batman with a sopping wet scrotum.
A laid-back hipster with a crappy ballsack.
A lonely dentist with an inspiring taint.
A hot bro with a hairy dick.
A laidback horse with a crappy twat.
An ordinary dragon with a surprisingly large pair of tits.
An ordinary prince with a beautiful pussy.
A tall nurse with a hairy penis.
A mean nerd with an epic anus.
A sexy dragon with a spectacular ballsack.
A huge Rabbi with the world's biggest cock.
A muscular hunk with an epic asshole.
A mean nerd with a creamy twat.
A winking garbageman with an infinite dong.
A tall boss with a creamy pair of nipples.
A sad novelist with history's greatest penis.
A fat horse with a crappy scrotum.
A moaning nurse with a tremendous dingus.
A laid-back boss with an inspiring pussy.
A sad hunk with an extra ballsack.
A trembling hunk with history's greatest twat.
A horny grandfather with a smooth dong.
A laid-back dog with the world's smallest scrotum.
A trembling farmer with a wonderful scrotum.
Some kind of cop with a hairy dick.
A happy priest with a hairy pair of tits.
An otherwise unremarkable dad with a sopping wet dingus.
A sexy dog with a sopping wet cock.
An ordinary novelist with a smooth penis.
An eager farmer with a beautiful pussy.
A gay hipster with an impressive taint.
An otherwise unremarkable dragon with a smooth clitoris.
A tiny woman with a chocolate-covered cock.
A large garbageman with an infinite dong.
An otherwise unremarkable nurse with history's greatest scrotum.
A regular grandfather with a creamy dingus.
Some kind of milkman with a tiny, upsetting penis.
A winking novelist with a tremendous dingus.
A hot grandfather with an extra scrotum.
A lonely god with an extra pussy.
A sad mom with a glorius anus.
A laid-back superhero with the world's biggest anus.
An average fireman with the world's smallest penis.
A happy Rabbi with an epic erection.
A gorgeous dancer with an impressive erection.
A sad superhero with a sopping wet anus.
A moaning garbageman with a glistening asshole.
A gay cop with a sopping wet asshole.
A hot novelist with a crappy dick.
A cranky god with a crappy asshole.
A tall Rabbi with the world's biggest vagina.
A lonely Batman with a crappy dingus.
A horny farmer with a weird cock.
A huge god with a perfectly-formed taint.
A happy Rabbi with a tiny, upsetting butthole.
Some kind of congressman with a glistening cock.
A regular prince with an extra taint.
A happy bro with an infinite cock.
Special v1.0 v1.1
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v1.0 v1.1
v1.0
v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0
Special v1.0 v1.1

PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
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v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
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v1.0 v1.1
v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
v1.1
v1.0
v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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DRAW 2, PICK 3 v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1
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Special v1.0 v1.1
PICK 2 v1.0 v1.1

PICK 2 v1.1
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BBBv1 BBBV2 PDNBTP Comments
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2
BBBv1 BBBv2 Found in the top linerliner

bottom of the
of lid
theofmiddle
BBBv1compartment
and BBBv2 of
BBBv2 BBBv2
PDNBTP Found loose in the box.
Set Card Lab
Cards that are being playtested in the Cards Against Humanity Card Lab
(https://cardsagainsthumanity.com/lab/). Cards included below are cards that have not
been previously released. These cards may be released in upcoming expansions or packs.
Compiled by Redditors olivecrayon87 and asiansteev.
Response 69ing all night long.

Response A 7-hour bath.
Response A basic understanding of macroeconomics.
Response A bitter custody battle.
Response A bog witch.
Response A British accent.
Response A certain je ne sais quoi.
Response A chubby boy with ice cream all over his face.
Response A comforting hand on your shoulder that turns out to be a severed hand!
Response A cuck.
Response A cup of cottage cheese and half a grapefruit.
Response A detective who only solves farts.
Response A full-blown panic attack.
Response A genuine crystal dragon valued at over $99.
Response A grocery store receipt that would suggest I am a single man who loves Cheetos.
Response A hot towel.
Response A hot, delicious pizza.
Response A look that says "you can't get me so easy, but I will crush your dick like a python."
Response A man so hot you immediately blow him.
Response A president who is just as fat and stupid as I am.
Response A real life superhero named "Jesus Christ."
Response A sick put-down.
Response A singing candlestick.
Response A slave rebellion.
Response A spiritual journey of self-discovery.
Response A threesome with 1996 Denise Richards and 1999 Jessica Alba.
Response A tremendous peach destroying everything in its path.
Response A used condom.
Response A white man flapping its mouth.
Response A woman who farts.
Response A woman.
Response Absconding with my prized camel.
Response An army of child soldiers.
Response An ass like a bag of pool balls.
Response An asshole so clean you can eat off it.
Response An explosion of jalapeno flavor.
Response An ice sculpture of Mike Pence.
Response An old dog dragging its anus across the floor.
Response Ass.
Response Au Jus.
Response Babes.
Response Banging my Argentinian mistress.
Response Being 6'8' and 300 lbs.
Response Being a hideous beast that no one could love.
Response Being a total bitch.
Response Being about to eat an entire chocolate bar.
Response Being cummed on.
Response Being gay in the 90s.
Response Being in an open relationship.
Response Being transgender.
Response Belching locusts.
Response Bringing a golden spoon of caviar to your lips with fat, trembling fingers.
Response Caring.
Response Changing in front of the other boys.
Response Cheating on my husband with the sun god Ra.
Response Choosing to be a homosexual.
Response Clickbait.
Response Common-sense gun control legislation.
Response Complaining about political correctness.
Response Complex transgender characters.
Response Consent.
Response Consent.
Response Control top pantyhose.
Response Cute little footsies.
Response Depicting the Prophet Muhammad.
Response Destroying the Death Star.
Response Detecting homosexuals via intuition.
Response Devil Sticks guy.
Response Diet and exercise.
Response Disgraced former President Donald J. Trump.
Response Doing a Borat impression.
Response Doing a little dance for my senorita.
Response Dos cervezas, por favor.
Response Drinking coffee and paying taxes.
Response Drinking enough alcohol to enjoy life for a few hours.
Response Drugs and alcohol.
Response Dying in childbirth.
Response Eating 18,000 calories.
Response Eating all the fish in the ocean and now there are no more fish.
Response Eating and enjoying Buglesaâ „¢.
Response Eating my way out of a cheeseburger prison.
Response Eating so much food that you become a fat person.
Response Eggs.
Response Electrocuting depressed people until they say they're not sad anymore.
Response Even more money.
Response Evil.
Response Exploding into a flock of birds.
Response Exploring the symbolism of eyes in the Great Gatsby.
Response Fake news.
Response Faking an orgasm.
Response Female genital mutilation.
Response Finally "getting" The Smiths.
Response Floppy wieners.
Response Fresh dill from the patio.
Response Fucking my wife.
Response Fucking.
Response Gender.
Response Getting banished to the Shadow Realm.
Response Getting blasted on Four Locos, staying up all night, and shitting in a trash can.
Response Getting coffee sometime.
Response Getting killed by a bear of all things.
Response Getting sexually rejected by Dikembe Mutombo.
Response Getting shot by Gary Busey.
Response Getting sucked into a jet engine.
Response Giving George Lucas creative control.
Response Gogo Inflight Wi-Fi.
Going down on a woman, discovering that her vagina is filled with eyeballs, and being
Response totally into that.
Response Going inside at some point because of the mosquitoes.
Response Going off to college and becoming a new person, who has sex.
Response Guiding my best bro's hand down my pants as I run my fingers through his hair.
Response Hacking into the Pentagon.
Response Harriet Tubman, American hero.
Response Harriet Tubman.
Response Having a brief existential crisis but then discovering that Ocean's 12 is on Hulu.
Response Having anal sex for one hundred thousand dollars.
Response HBO's Real Sex.
Response Hideous deformities.
Response High fructose corn syrup.
Response Hills that are alive.
Response Him.
Response His soft, pink lips exploring every contour of my body.
Response Hot doctors.
Response Hot, fresh bread.
Response Hot, fresh doodies.
Response Hot, young balls.
Response How cool it is to smoke cigarettes.
How horrible it is when the homeless people and drug dealers leave a neighborhood and
Response get replaced by juice bars and high-end restaurants.
Response How nice Tom Hanks is in person.
Response Huge panties.
Response Hundreds of tumors.
Response Hurting people's feelings.
Response Incredible seats that are so close to the thing.
Response Independence from Great Britain.
Response Inheriting five million dollars.
Response Inspiring interracial gay sex.
Response Kicking your mother in the vagina emotionally.
Response Kindness.
Response Kissing all the boys.
Response Knocking prostitutes unconscious with a bible.
Response Knowing deep down that stereotypes have some basis in reality.
Response Knowing that rape is bad and not raping.
Response Kung fu fighting.
Response Laboring in the papaya groves.
Response Learning how to walk again.
Response Letting out 20 years worth of farts.
Response Little Debbie and her mom, Full-Size Deborah.
Response Locking and unlocking the door twelve times.
Response Losing both legs to the sugars.
Response Lunch.
Response Marrying me.
Response Mass suicide.
Response Meth mouth.
Response Miso soup.
Response Multiple orgasms.
Response My awesome tits.
Response My entire life.
Response My idiot husband.
Response My man.
Response My murderin' axe.
Response My special prince on his birthday.
Response My worst fear, being trapped inside a snow globe.
Response Not really meaning what I said last night and being so sorry about it.
Response Nudes.
Response One billion Cheez-Its.
Response One of those wacky inflatable tube guys.
Response One thousand paper cranes.
Response Pleasure.
Response PMSing.
Response Progress.
Response Projectile vomiting marinara sauce.
Response Promising to do something and then not doing it.
Response Pudgy Vin Diesel.
Response Raging hormones.
Response Rape culture.
Response Reminding my daughter that she's fat.
Response Rounding up the Muslims.
Response Rubbing my clit while my two ex-husbands suck each other's cocks.
Response Running out of blood.
Response Russian hackers.
Response Satisfying my wife.
Response Saying one thing and then doing another thing.
Response Sex offending.
Response Sex tonight.
Response Sexy secrets.
Response Shoving a big flaming zucchini up my ass.
Response Showing everyone on social media that I have a fun and interesting life.
Response Slowly shaking my head at a sad statistic.
Response Smelling her hair while she sleeps.
Response Somali pirates.
Response Spanx, a wig, and all new teeth.
Response Staring at a painting and going "hmmf..."
Response Starting a small business.
Response Staying hydrated.
Response Stuffing my pussy with garter snakes.
Response Submitting to government authority.
Response Subtle, unconscious racism.
Response Successfully having sex with a car.
Response Suicide bombers.
Response Supporting a woman's right to choose incredible savings by switching to Geico.
Response Sweeping generalizations about Millennials.
Response Taking Samantha to the prom as a prank and then falling in love with her.
Response Terrible night crabs that pull out little girls' hair while they sleep.
Response That ukulele version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
Response That ukulele version of "Somewhere Over The Rainbow."
Response The 1%.
Response The alt-right.
Response The armies of hell.
Response The babysitter.
Response The butter of the peanut.
Response The captain of the sports team.
Response The cloud.
Response The concept of money.
Response The egg man.
Response The entire population of El Salvador.
Response The fifth in a series of Mambos.
Response The future.
Response The gum disease gingivitis.
Response The haunting stare of a Syrian child.
Response The heroin.
Response The National Basketball Association.
Response The NSA.
Response The perfect omelette.
Response The Phantom of the Opera.
Response The planet Jupiter.
Response The Quran.
Response The Scat Man.
Response The spirit of Aloha.
Response The struggle.
Response The symbolism of eyes in the Great Gatsby.
Response The terrible grinding of the bonesaw.
Response The thin veneer of narrative causality that underlies porn.
Response The UPS guy.
Response Thinking.
Response Thirty entrepreneurs who are reshaping the digital landscape.
Response Throwing my ex-wife into a black hole.
Response Throwing my hands in the air to demonstrate the extent of my excitement.
Response Throwing poop back at a monkey.
Response Titty fucking.
Response Tony Robbins.
Response Touching a boob.
Response Toxins.
Response Tumblr.
Response Tungsten.
Response Uggs.
Response Unwanted sexual advances.
Response Updog.
Response Waking up in Idris Elba's arms.
Response Yoko Ono.
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COMMERCIAL PACKS
Retail Mini Pack
Special pack of 5 cards only available through independent brick and mortar retailers approved to sell CAH.
How are the writers of Cards Against Humanity spending your $25?
Looking to earn big bucks? Learn how to make ______ work for you!
A teenage boy gunning for a handjob.

Feeding a man a pie made of his own children.
Ironically buying a trucker hat and then ironically being a trucker for 38 years.
Fantasy Pack
A pack co-written with make-believers Pat Rothfuss, Neil Gaiman, Sam Sykes, Myke Cole, Jacqueline Carey, Martha Wells
Sherwood Smith, Elizabeth Bear, and Wesley Chu. Released November 19, 2015. Icon: A Hitachi Magic Wand.
v1.1 released Nov 2017; the only thing changed was the logo.
And in the end, the dragon was not evil; he just wanted ______.
Critics are raving about HBO's new Game of Thrones spin-off, "______ of ______."
Having tired of poetry and music, the immortal elves now fill their days with ______.
Legend tells of a princess who has been asleep for a thousand years and can only be awoken by ______.
Who blasphemes and bubbles at the center of all infinity, whose name no lips dare speak aloud, and who gnaws hungrily in
inconceivable, unlighted chambers beyond time?
Your father was a powerful wizard, Harry. Before he died, he left you something very precious: ___.
A CGI dragon.
A dwarf who won't leave you alone until you compare penis sizes.
A gay sorcerer who turns everyone gay.
A ghoul.
A Hitachi Magic Wand.
A magical kingdom with dragons and elves and no black people.
A mysterious, floating orb.
A weed elemental who gets everyone high.
Accidentally conjuring a legless horse that can't stop ejaculating.
Bathing naked in a moonlit grove.
Dinosaurs who wear armor and you ride them and they kick ass.
Eternal darkness.
Freaky, pan-dimensional sex with a demigod.
Gender equality.
Going on an epic adventure and learning a valuable lesson about friendship.
Handcuffing a wizard to a radiator and dousing him with kerosene.
Hodor.
How hot Orlando Bloom was in Lord of the Rings.
Kneeing a wizard in the balls.
Make-believe stories for autistic white men.
Reading The Hobbit under the covers while mom and dad scream at each other downstairs.
Shitting in a wizard's spell book and jizzing in his hat.
Shooting a wizard with a gun.
The all-seeing Eye of Sauron.
The card Neil Gaiman wrote: "Three elves at a time."
True love's kiss.
Period Pack
Have you ever looked down at your underpants and said, “oh no”? Cards Against Humanity’s got you covered with our
most absorbent pack yet: The Period Pack. Contains 30 brand new cards written while we were all on our periods. Best
played every 25 to 35 days. Lightly scented to help prevent odors. Comes with a few surprises for your special time.
Released: 7/11/17. Icon: Three Blood Droplets
Can a woman really have it all? A career and ______?

My body, my voice! ______, my choice!
My vagina's angry. My vagina's furious and needs to talk. It needs to talk about ______.
New fom Mattel, it's ______ Barbie!
Tampax: Don’t let your period ruin ______.

What gets me wet?
A diverse group of female friends casually discussing the side effects of birth control.
A woman president.
Always© Infinity Extra Heavy Overnight Pads with Wings.
An emotionally draining friendship.
Carrying a fetus to term.
Catching a whiff of my vag.
Dancing carefree in white linen pants.
Destroying a pair of underwear.
Drinking Beyonceé 's DivaCup and becoming immortal.
Driving my daughter to her abortion.
Eating three sleeves of Chips Ahoy!

Feeling bloaty and crampy.
Feeling lots of feelings.
Full bush.
How bloody that dick's about to be.
Masturbating with a Sonicare.
Period globs.
Playing with my pussy while I watch TV.

Post-partum depression.
Pulling out a never-ending tampon.
Pussy lips of all shapes and sizes.
Ringing out a sopping wet maxi pad into Donald Trump's mouth.
The vagina hole.
Using a Smucker's Uncrustable™ as a maxi pad.
HOLIDAY PACKS
2012 Holiday Pack
Originally released as a "pay-what-you-want" Holiday Pack of 30 vaguely holiday-themed cards. People gave about $3.75
on average and and raised over $70,000 to donate to Wikimedia...and way more since then. All profits donated to the
Wikimedia Foundation. Released on December 3, 2012. These cards were re-released as the “2012 Holiday Pack” to be
purchased directly from CAH’s website on May 13, 2014. Icon: A snowflake.
After blacking out during New Year's Eve, I was awoken by ______.
Every Christmas, my uncle gets drunk and tells the story about ______.
Jesus is ______.
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me: three French hens, two turtle doves, and ______.
This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of ______ to save Christmas.
Wake up, America. Christmas is under attack by secular liberals and their ______.
What keeps me warm during the cold, cold winter?
A Christmas stocking full of coleslaw.

A Hungry-Man™ Frozen Christmas Dinner for One.
A toxic family environment.
A visually arresting turtleneck.
Another shitty year.
Clearing a bloody path through Walmart with a scimitar.
Eating an entire snowman.
Elf cum.
Fucking up "Silent Night" in front of 300 parents.
Gift-wrapping a live hamster.
Immaculate conception.
Krampus, the Austrian Christmas monster.
Mall Santa.
My hot cousin.
Pretending to be happy.
Santa's heavy sack.
Several intertwining love stories featuring Hugh Grant.
Socks.
Space Jam on VHS.
Taking down Santa with a surface-to-air missile.
The Star Wars Holiday Special.
The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.
Whatever Kwanzaa is supposed to be about.
PAX EXCLUSIVES
PAX 2012 "Oops" Kit
This pack was given to fix misprints of CAH Main Deck v1.2 at PAX 2012. The cards are also found in CAH Main Deck v1.3
Released September 2, 2012 at PAX Prime.
______: good to the last drop.

Daddy, why is Mommy crying?
Dear Abby, I'm having some trouble with ______ and would like your advice.
I drink to forget ______.
White people like ______.
A Bitch Slap.
Chunks of dead prostitute.
Extremely tight pants.
One trillion dollars.
Stormtroopers.
The Boy Scouts of America.
The entire Mormon Tabernacle Chior.
The female orgasm.
Throwing a virgin into a volcano.
PAX Prime 2013
Given away at PAX Prime 2013. Icon: A game controller D-Pad.
______: Achievement unlocked.

In the new DLC for Mass Effect, Shepard must save the galaxy from ______.
No Enforcer wants to manage the panel on ______.
The most controversial game at PAX this year is an 8-bit indie platformer about ______.
There was a riot at the Gearbox panel when they gave the attendees ______.
What made Spock cry?
What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town?
70,000 gamers sweating and farting inside an airtight steel dome.

A fully-dressed female videogame character.
A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek uniform.
A madman who lives in a policebox and kidnaps women.
Achieving the manual dexterity and tactical brilliance of a 12-year-old Korean boy.
Allowing nacho cheese to curdle in your beard while you creep in League of Legends.
An angry stone head that stomps on the floor every three seconds.
Being an attractive elf trapped in an unattractive human's body.
Bowser's aching heart.
Buying virtual clothes for a Sim family instead of real clothes for a real family.
Charles Barkley Shut Up and Jam!
Eating a pizza that's lying in the street to gain health.
Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt™ with pizza.
Full HD.
Getting into a situation with an owlbear.
Google Glass + e-cigarette: Ultimate Combo!
Grand Theft Auto: Fort Lauderdale.
Legendary Creature - Robert Khoo.
Mario Kart rage.
Never watching, discussing, or thinking about My Little Pony.
Nude-modding Super Mario World.
Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.
Reading the comments.
Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage.
SNES cartridge cleaning fluid.
Tapping Serra Angel.
Temporary invincibility.
The boner hatch in the Iron Man suit.
The Cock Ring of Alacrity.
The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboar
The decade of legal inquests following a single hour of Grand Theft Auto.
The gravity gun.
The Sarlacc.
Turn-of-the-century sky racists.
Unlocking a new sex position.
Winning the approval of Cooking Mama that you never got from actual mama.
Yoshi's huge egg-laying cloaca.
PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack A (Mango)

Food Pack initially available at PAX Prime 2015 in 3 parts from a food truck selling popsicles with each part corresponding to a
different popsicle flavor.
"MANGO FUCK YOURSELF"
I’m Bobby Flay, and if you can’t stand ______, get out of the kitchen!
It’s not delivery.
It’s ______.
A sobering quantity of chili cheese fries.

Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.
Kale farts.
Licking the cake batter off of grandma’s fingers.
Real cheese flavor.
Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.
The Dial-A-Slice Apple Divider from Williams-Sonoma.
What to do with all of this chocolate on my penis.
LIMITED RELEASE PACKS
Reject Pack
24 cards (16 white, 8 black) that were previously withheld from being released for one reason or another. Each co-creator picked thr
cards that were rejected from print. Icon: A thumbs down.
From WBEZ Chicago, it's This American Life. Today on our program, ______. Stay with us.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare for ______.
Sir, we found you passed out naked on the side of the road. What's the last thing you remember?
The elders of the Ibo tribe of Nigeria recommend ______ as a cure for impotence.
The Westboro Baptist Church is now picketing soldiers' funerals with signs that read 'GOD HATES ______!'
What are two cards in your hand that you want to get rid of?
What do you see? [An image of a Rorschach inkblot]
You can't wait forever. It's time to talk to your doctor about ______.
A giant squid in a wedding gown.

A heart that is two sizes too small and that therefore cannot pump an adequate amount of blood.
A sexy naked interactive theater thing.
Asshole pomegranates that are hard to eat.
Becoming so rich that you shed your body and turn to vapor.
Carribbean Jesus.
Corn.
Crawling into a vagina.
Dividing by zero.
Ejaculating a pound of tinsel.
Faking a jellyfish sting so someone will pee on you.
Ladles.
My dick in your mouth.
Playing an ocarina to summon Ultra-Congress from the sea.
Super yoga.
The John D. and Catherine T. MacArthur Foundation.
Fascism Pack
Anyone who backed Secret Hitler at the $30 Kickstarter level received this. Icon: A skull.
Before swallowing his pride and a cyanide pill, Adolf whispered to Eva, "Sorry about ______".
Leni Riefenstahl's last movie was called Triumph of ______.
An orgasm so powerful you travel back in time and jizz in Hitler's face.
Being open to new perspectives on the Holocaust.
Breaking news about what Hitler's penis was like.
Cloning Hitler.
Disco Mussolini.
Donald Trump's personal copy of Mein Kampf.
Electro-Stalin.
Hitler's sound economic policies.
How cool Nazi airplanes are.
Presenting your documents at a checkpoint.
Runining an entire genre of moustaches.

Straight up fucking loving authority.
The cyanide pill you keep on your person at all times.
The Yad Vashem World Center for Holocaust Research.
Whatever brave hero killed Hitler.
Vote For Hillary Pack
Included as a bonus item in the GenCon 2016 Concert Against Humanity swag bag on August 5, 2016. Then released as
part of the America Votes with Cards Against Humanity campaign that raised money to create a SuperPAC to support the
Hillary Clinton Presidential Campaign on August 11, 2016. Icon: A checkmark.
As repartations for slavery, all African Americans will receive ______.

Senator, I trust you enjoyed ______ last night. Now, can I count on your vote?
When you go to the polls on Tuesday, remember: a vote for me is a vote for ______.
A beautiful, ever-expanding circle of inclusivity that will never include Republicans.

Black lives mattering.
Donald Trump holding his nose while he eats pussy.
Eating the president's pussy.
Increasing economic and political polarization.
Keeping the government out of my vagina.
Kicking the middle class in the balls with a regressive tax code.
Letting Bernie Sanders rest his world-weary head on your lap.
Slapping Ted Cruz over and over.
The Bernie Sanders revolution.
The fact that Hillary Clinton is a woman.
The systematic disenfranchisement of black voters.
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Special v1.0 v1.1 Set

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"Ruining" fixed in
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90s Nostalgia Pack
Originally given out at PAX East 2014. Released to be purchased directly from CAH’s website May 13, 2014. Icon: 90
Believe it or not Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of ____.

How did Stella get her groove back?
I'm a bitch, I'm a lover, I'm a child, I'm ______.
It's Morphin' Time! Mastodon! Pterodactyl! Triceratops! Sabertooth Tiger! ______!
Siskel and Ebert have panned ______ as "poorly conceived" and "sloppily executed."
Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afriad of ______?
Up next on Nickelodeon: "Clarissa Explains ______."
A bus that will explode if it goes under 50 miles per hour.

A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, and my libido.
A threesome with 1996 Denise Richards and 1999 Denise Richards.
Angels interfering in an otherwise fair baseball game.
Cool 90s up-in-the-front hair.
Deregulating the mortgage market.
Freeing Willy.
Getting caught up in the CROSSFIRE™.
Jerking off to a 10-second RealMedia clip.
Kurt Cobain's death.
Liking big butts and not being able to lie about it.
Log™.
Painting with all the colors of the wind.
Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion.
Patti Mayonnaise.
Pizza in the morning, pizza in the evening, pizza at supper time.
Pure Moods, Vol. 1.
Several Michael Keatons
Stabbing the shit out of a Capri Sun.
Sucking the president's dick.
Sunny D! Alright!
The Great Cornholio.
The Y2K bug.
Wearing Nicolas Cage's face.
Yelling "girl power!" and doing a high kick.
World Wide Web Pack
Except for the rampant misinformation and unspeakable pornography, the Internet is one of Al Gore's greatest invention
Reddit AMA with the help of a bunch of Internet strangers, which historically has always been a complete disaster. All pr
Electronic Frontier Foundation. Released November 19, 2015. Icon: @
Don't worry, Penny! Go Go Gadget ______!
I need you like ______ needs ______.
I'm just gonna stay in tonight. You know, Netflix and ______.
Nothing says "I love you" like ______.
Such ______. Very ______. Wow.

This app is basically Tinder, but for ______.
TRIGGER WARNING: ______.
What did I nickname my genitals?
You guys, you can buy ______ on the dark web.
A complete inability to understand anyone else's perspective.

A fun, sexy time at the nude beach.
A man from Craigslist.
A night of Taco Bell and anal sex.
A respectful discussion of race and gender on the Internet.
Cat massage.
Destroying Dick Cheney's last horcrux.
Game of Thrones spoilers.
Getting teabagged by a fifth grader in Call of Duty.
Goats screaming like people.
Googling.
Internet porn analysis paralysis.
Matching with Mom on Tinder.
My browser history.
My privileged white penis.
Pretending to be black.
Smash Mouth.
Taking a shit while running at full speed.
That thing on the Internet everyone's talking about.
Three years of semen in a shoebox.
Youtube comments.
Weed Pack
Hey man, I know I was supposed to get you the website content for the Weed Pack, but I got really high and this is all I ha
also known as marijuana among several other names, is a psychoactive drug from the Cannabis plant intended for medic
something about mass incarceration. 30 (?) brand new cards about weed. Def mention profits go to the Marijuana Policy
marijuana like alcohol). Released: 7/11/17. Icon: Cannabis Leaf
Everyone is staring at you because you're ___.

Hold up. I gotta deal with ___, then l'mma smoke this.
Instead of playing a card this round, everyone must stare the Card Czar while making a sound you'd make after tasting so
Okay here's the pitch. James Franco and Seth Rogen are trying to score some weed, and then ___ happens.
You know what's, like, really funny when you think about it? ___.
A bong rip so massive it restores justice to the kingdom.

A sandwich with Cheetos in it!
A whole cheese pizza just for me.
An eight-foot man smoking a six-foot bong.
Ancient aliens.
Being too high for airplane.
Cheese crunchies.
Dank ass cancer weed.
Dicking around on the guitar for an hour.
Dropping stuff and knocking everything over.
Eating all the skin off a rotisserie chicken.
Forgetting to breathe and then dying.

Getting high and watching Planet Earth.
Grinning like an idiot.
Hot tub.
How bright the sun is.
Huge popcorn nugs of hairy alien weed.
My own fingers.
Smoking a blunt butt-ass naked.

Smoking a joint with former President Barack Obama.
Snoop Dogg.
The banks, the media, the entire system, man.
Too much edibles.
Unbelievably soft carpet.
Whatever the fuck I was just talking about.
2013 Holiday Pack
Originally released as the 12 Days of Holiday Bullshit promotion. Profits were donated to DonorsChoose.org. Released on
These cards were re-released as the “2013 Holiday Pack” to be purchased directly from CAH’s website on May 13, 2014.
Because they are forbidden from masturbating, Mormons channel their repressed sexual energy into ______.
Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us ______.
But wait, there’s more! If you order ______ in the next 15 minutes, we’ll throw in ______ absolutely free!
GREETINGS HUMANS
I AM ______ BOT
EXECUTING PROGRAM.
Here’s what you can expect for the new year.
Out: ______.
In: ______.
I really hope my grandma doesn’t ask me to explain ______ again.
Kids these days with their iPods and their Internet. In my day, all we needed to pass the time was ______.
Revealed: Why He Really Resigned! Pope Benedict’s Secret Struggle with ______.
What’s the one thing that makes an elf instantly ejaculate?
A magical tablet containing a world of unlimited pornography.

A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.
Being blind and deaf and having no limbs.
Breeding elves for their priceless semen.
Congress’s flaccid penises withering away beneath their suit pants.
Finding out Santa isn’t real.
Giving money and personal information to strangers on the Internet.
Having a strong opinion about Obamacare.
Jizzing into Santa’s beard.
Making up for 10 years of shitty parenting with a PlayStation.
Moses gargling Jesus’s balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.
People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is.
Piece of shit Christmas cards with no money in them.
Rudolph’s bright red balls.
Slicing a ham in icy silence.
Swapping bodies with mom for a day.
The Grinch’s musty, cum-stained pelt.
The Hawaiian goddess Kapo and her flying detachable vagina.
The royal afterbirth.
The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas.
These low, low prices!
Hawaii 2 Safe Cards

Part of the 2013 "12 Days of Holiday Bullshit" promotion. A puzzle needed to be solved that led to a safe on an island bou
"Hawaii 2" that was filled with bonus cards. Included in the cards were 5 "Crazy Person" cards and 200,000 sloth cards.
Being the crazy person who opened the safe.

Sloth card.
PAX East 2013 Promo Pack A
Given away at the PAX East 2013. Icon: A game controller D-Pad.
I have an idea even better than Kickstarter, and it's called ______starter.
You have been waylaid by ______ and must defend yourself.
An immediately regrettable $9 hot dog from the Boston Convention Center.

Casting Magic Missile at a bully.
Firefly: Season 2.
Getting bitch slapped by Dhalsim.
Jiggle physics.
Paying the iron price.
Rotating shapes in mid-air so that they fit into other shapes when they fall.
Running out of stamina.
PAX East 2014
Given away at PAX East 2014. Icon: A game controller D-Pad.
______ is way better in ______ mode.

(Heavy breathing) Luke, I am ______.
Unfortunately, Neo, no one can be told what ______ is. You have to see it for yourself.
What the hell?! They added a 6/6 with flying, trample and ______.
You think you have defeated me? Well, let's see how you handle ______.
A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.

A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.
All of the good times and premium gaming entertainment available to you in the Kickstarter room.
Attacking from Kamchatka.
Collecting all seven power crystals.
Demons and shit.
Endless ninjas.
Futuristic death sports.
Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukemia for 30 years.
KHAAAAAAAAAN!
Lagging out.
Mistakenly hitting on a League of Legends statue.
Separate drinking fountains for dark elves.
Ser Jorah Mormont's cerulean-blue balls.
Stuffing my balls into a Sega Genesis and pressing the power button.
Taking 2d6 emotional damage.
The imagination of Peter Jackson.
The old gods.
The pure, Zen-like state that exists between micro and macro.
The Star Wars universe.
Whatever Final Fantasy bullshit happened this year.
Xena, Warrior Princess.
PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack B (Coconut)
Food Pack initially available at PAX Prime 2015 in 3 parts from a food truck selling popsicles with each part corresponding to a differ
"THE MOON LANDING WAS A HOAX COCONUT"
Aw babe, your burps smell like ______!
Don't miss Rachel Ray's hit new show, Cooking with ______.
A belly full of hard-boiled eggs.

A joyless vegan patty.
A table for one at The Cheesecake Factory.
Being emotionally and physically dominated by Gordon Ramsay.
Kevin Bacon Bits.
Not knowing what to believe anymore about butter.
Soup that's better than pussy.
Sucking down thousands of pounds of krill every day.
Reject Pack 2
34 cards (24 white, 10 black) given out in the swag bags to those who attended Concert Against Humanity at Gen Con 20
thumbs down.
Astronomers have discovered that the universe consists of 5% ordinary matter, 25% dark matter, and 70% ______.
BowWOW! is the first pet hotel in LA that offers ______ for dogs.
Hey, whatever happened to Renee Zellweger?
Housekeeping! You want ______?
In bourgeois society, capital is independent and has individuality, while the living person is ______.
Some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Som
What's wrong with these gorillas?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
You say tomato, I say ______.
America is hungry. America needs ______.
A dick so big and so black that not even light can escape its pull.
A double murder suicide barbeque.
A primordial soup and salad bar.
A stack of bunnies in a trenchcoat.
At least three ducks.
Becoming engorged with social justice jelly and secreting a thinkpiece.
Being the absolute worst.
Disco Mussolini.
Greg Kinnear's terrible lightning breath.
Mitt Romney's eight sons Kip, Sam, Trot, Fergis, Toolshed, Grisham, Hawkeye, and Thorp.
Mr. and Mrs. Tambourine Man's jingle-jangle morning sex.
Mushy tushy.
Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band.
Sandwich.
Saving the Rainforest Cafe.
Sir Thomas More's Fruitopia™.
Sweating it out on the streets of a runaway American Dream.
That one leftover screw.
That thing politicians do with their thumbs when they talk.
The spooky skeleton under my skin.
The token lesbian.
These dolphins.
Three hairs from the silver-golden head of Galadriel.
Water so cold it turned into a rock.
Hanukkah LOL Pack
A top secret 7 card pack only obtainable through the 2015 7 gifts of Hanukkah promotion. Only three packs were printed
A smile or just a nod.

All the accumulated culture of a people.
Being young and living in New York City.
The dark side.
The gross inequalities of our society.
The wisdom of the crowds.
Uninformed knuckle-dragging low information voters.
Vote For Trump Pack
Included as a bonus item in the GenCon 2016 Concert Against Humanity swag bag on August 5, 2016. Then released as p
with Cards Against Humanity campaign that raised money to create a SuperPAC to support the Hillary Clinton President
2016. Icon: A checkmark.
According to Arizona's stand-your-ground law, you're allowed to shoot someone if they're ______.
It's 3AM. The red phone rings. It's ______. Who do you want answering?
Trump's great! Trump's got ______. I love that.
A liberal bias.
Actually voting for Donald Trump to be President of the actual United States.
Conservative talking points.
Courageousely going ahead with that racist comment.
Dispelling this fiction that Barack Obama doesn't know what he's doing.
Full-on socialism.
Growing up and becoming a Republican.
Hating Hilary Clinton.
Jeb!
Shouting the loudest.
Sound fiscal policy.
The good, hardworking people of Dubuque, Iowa.
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Geek Pack
30 cards about video games, D&D, Game of Thrones, and all the other bullshit you like. Previously released in packs give
East and PAX Prime in 2013 and 2014. Released for sale on CAH's website May 3, 2016. Icon: A game controller D-Pad.
The cards are annoted with which PAX pack each card originally came from, but the annotations do not appear on the cards
______ is way better in ______ mode. (Pax East 2014)

______: Achievement unlocked. (Pax Prime 2013)
(Heavy breathing) Luke, I am ______. (Pax East 2014)
Press ↓ ↓ ← → B to unleash ______. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack C)
What made Spock cry? (Pax Prime 2013)
What's the latest bullshit that's troubling this quaint fantasy town? (Pax Prime 2013)
A fully-dressed female videogame character. (Pax Prime 2013)

A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else. (Pax East 2014)
A homemade, cum-stained Star Trek Uniform. (Pax Prime 2013)
Achieving 500 actions per minute. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack C)
Charging up all the way. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack C)
Eating a pizza that's lying in the street to gain health. (Pax Prime 2013)
Endless ninjas. (Pax East 2014)
Forgetting to eat, and consequently dying. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack C)
Getting bitch slapped by Dhalsim. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack A)
Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukimia for 30 years. (Pax East 2014)
KHAAAAAAAAN! (Pax East 2014)
Loading from a previous save. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack B)
Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep. (Pax Prime 2013)
Running out of stamina. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack A)
Separate drinking fountains for dark elves. (Pax East 2014)
Ser Jorah Mormont's cerulean-blue balls. (Pax East 2014)
Sharpening a foam broadsword on a foam whetstone. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack B)
Stuffing my balls into a Sega Genesis and pressing the power button. (Pax East 2014)
Taking 2d6 emotional damage. (Pax East 2014)
Tapping Serra Angel. (Pax Prime 2013)
The Cock Ring of Alacrity. (Pax Prime 2013)
The collective wail of every Magic player suddenly realizing that they've spent hundreds of dollars on pieces of cardboar
2013)
The depression that ensues after catching 'em all. (Pax East 2013 Promo Pack B)
Yoshi's huge egg-laying cloaca. (Pax Prime 2013)
Science Pack
The Science Pack is a pack about the hit system of knowledge known worldwide as “science.” Written with Phil Plait (Bad
and Zach Weinersmith (SMBC). 30 cards about captivating theories like evolution and global warming, with a special gue
appearance by Uranus. All profits donated to the Cards Against Humanity & SMBC Science Ambassador Scholarship for w
STEM. Released March 30, 2015. Icon: An Erlenmeyer flask.
A study published in Nature this week found that ______ is good for you in small doses.
Hey there, Young Scientists! Put on your labcoats and strap on your safety goggles, because today we're learning about __
In an attempt to recreate conditions just after the Big Bang, physicists at the LHC are observing collisions between ______
In line with our predictions, we find a robust correlation between ______ and ______ (p<.05).
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized ______ in the lab.
Today on Mythbusters, we found out how long ______ can withstand ______.
What really killed the dinosaurs?
3.7 billion years of evolution.

A 0.7 waist-to-hip ratio.
A supermassive black hole.
Achieving reproductive success.
Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.
David Attenborough watching us mate.
Developing secondary sex characteristics.
Driving into a tornado to learn about tornadoes.
Electroejaculating a capuchin monkey.
Evolving a labyrinthine vagina.
Explosive decompression.
Failing the Turing test.
Fun and interesting facts about rocks.
Getting really worried about global warming for a few seconds.
Infinity.
Insufficient serotonin.
Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples.
Photosynthesis.
Reconciling quantum theory with general relativity.
Slowly evaporating.
The quiet majesty of the sea turtle.
The Sun engulfing the Earth.
Uranus.
Blackbox Press Kit
Released sometime in mid-August 2016 on the Blackbox website, the shipping company set up by the people that create
includes an exclusive CAH card, along with exclusive cards for other games created by the CAH team. Icon: Blackbox logo
Lighting a circle of black candles and trying every flavor of Doritos®.

2014 Holiday Pack
Originally released as the 10 Days or Whatever of Kwanzaa promotion. Profits were donated to the Sunlight Foundation.
November 10, 2014. These cards were re-released as the “2014 Holiday Pack” to be purchased directly from CAH’s webs
30, 2015. Icon: A bauble.
A curse upon thee! Many years from now, just when you think you're safe, ______ shall turn into ______.
Behold the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse! War, Famine, Death, and ______.
Dear Mom and Dad, Camp is fun. I like capture the flag. Yesterday, one of the older kids taught me about ______. I love you
Here lies First Last, Year-2015, devoted friend, lover of ______.
Honey, Mommy and Daddy love you very much. But apparently Mommy loves ______ more than she loves Daddy.
Today on Buzzfeed: 10 pictures of ______ That look like ______!
Why am I so tired?
200 years of slavery.

A cloud of ash that darkens the Earth for a thousand years.
A protracted siege.
A vague fear of something called ISIS.
All the poop inside of my body.
Being replaced by a robot.
Blockbuster late fees up the wazoo.
Building a ladder of hot dogs to the moon.
Ebola.
Harnessing the miraculous power of the atom to slaughter 200,000 Japanese people.
Reading an entire book.
Rising sea levels consistent with scientific predictions.
Rock music and premarital sex.
Small-town cops with M-4 assault rifles.
The 9,000 children who starved to death today.
The Bowflex Revolution.
The diminishing purity of the white race.
The dying breath of the last human.
The events depicted in James Cameron's Avatar.
The Great Lizard Uprising of 2352.
The transience of all things.
This groovy new thing called LSD.
Trying to feel something, anything.
What remains of my penis.
PAX East 2013 Promo Pack B
Action stations! Action stations! Set condition one throughout the fleet and brace for ______!
In the final round of this year's Omegathon, Omeganauts must face off in a game of ______.
Getting inside the Horadric Cube with a hot babe and pressing the transmute button.
Loading from a previous save.
Punching a tree to gather wood.
Sharpening a foam broadsword on a foam whetstone.
Spending the year's insulin budget on Warhammer 40k figurines.
The depression that ensues after catching 'em all.
The rocket launcher.
Violating the First Law of Robotics.
PAX East 2014 - Panel Cards
A pack of 10 cards (8 white, 2 black) written during a CAH panel at PAX East 2014, printed the same night, and then given to the atte
panel.
______ was totally worth the trauma.

Let me tell you about my new startup. It's basically ______, but for ______.
A floor that is literally made of lava.

All this liquid in my mouth.
Exciting content!
Giving a dolphin a handjob for science.
Hodor.
Rubbing chocolate pudding all over Bill Cosby's nipples.
Stepping on a god damn friggin' LEGO.
What The Rock was really cooking.
PAX Prime 2015 Food Pack C (Cherry)
Food Pack initially available at PAX Prime 2015 in 3 parts from a food truck selling popsicles with each part corresponding to a differ
flavor.
"IT'S TOO LATE TO STOP CLIMATE CHANGE CHERRY"
Excuse me, waiter. Could take this back? This soup tastes like ______.
Now on Netflix: Jiro Dreams of ______.
A Mexican child trapped inside of a burrito.

Clamping down on a gazelle’s jugular and tasting its warm life waters.
Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet.
Father’s forbidden chocolates.
Jizz Twinkies.
The Hellman’s Mayonnaise Corporation.
The hot dog I put in my vagina ten days ago.
The inaudible screams of carrots.
House of Cards Pack
A House Of Cards (Netflix) promo with CAH containing 25 cards (16 white / 9 black). Sold out all 10,000 packs in under 45 minutes.
February 10, 2014. Icon: An upside down US flag.
A wise man said, "Everything is about sex. Except sex. Sex is about ______."
Because you enjoyed ______, we thought you'd like ______.
Cancel all my meetings. We've got a situation with ______ that requires my immediate attention.
Corruption. Betrayal. ______. Coming soon to Netflix, "House of ______."
I can't believe Netflix is using ______ to promote House of Cards.
I'm not going to lie. I despise ______. There, I said it.
If you need him to, Remy Danton can pull some strings and get you ______, but it'll cost you.
Our relationship is strictly professional. Let's not complicate things with ______.
We're not like other news organizations. Here at Slugline, we welcome ______ in the office.
25 shitty jokes about House of Cards.

A childless marriage.
A homoerotic subplot.
A much younger woman.
An older man.
An origami swan that's some kind of symbol?
Carbon monoxide poisoning.
Discharging a firearm in a residential area.
Forcing a handjob on a dying man.
Getting eaten out while on the phone with Dad.
Making it look like a suicide.
My constituents.
Punching a congressman in the face.
Ribs so good they transcend race and class.
Strangling a dog to make a point to the audience.
The sensitive European photographer who's fucking my wife.
Mass Effect Pack
A limited-edition pack made in collaboration with Mass Effect. Announced on 2/22/2017 via CAH's Twitter and Faceboo
N7
Coming this spring from BioWare, Mass Effect: ______.

I'm Commander Shepard, and this is my favorite place for ______ on the Citadel.
It turns out the Reapers didn't want to destroy the galaxy. They just wanted ______.
We were the two best hand-to-hand combatants on the ship. I had reach, but she had ______.
An armored Krogan war-clitoris.

An emergency induction port.
An extremely long elevator ride.
Bone-shattering sex with a metal woman.
Falling I actual love with a video game character.
My complicated backstory that you will soon learn about.
Running a few errands before saving the galaxy.
Space racism.
The Genophage.
Totally fuckable aliens.
College Pack
Remember when you were in college and ate ramen noodles and had sex all the time? Wouldn’t it be great to relive those
30 brand-new cards about learning and throw up. Comes with a special 18" x 24" poster for your dorm room. Icon: Plast
All classes today are cancelled due to ______.

Did you know? Our college was recently named the #1 school for ______!
In this paper, I will explore ______ from a feminist perspective.
My memory of last night is pretty hazy. I remember ______ and that's pretty much it.
Pledges! Time to prove you're Delta Phi material. Chug this beer, take off your shirts, and get ready for ______.
The Department of Psychology is looking for paid research volunteers. Are you 18-25 and suffering from ______.
A bachelor's degeree in communications.

A girl who is so interesting that she has blue hair.
A Yale man.
An emergency all-floor meeting on inclusion.
Calling mom because it's just really hard and I miss her and I don't know anyone here.
Falling in love with poetry.
Five morons signing a lease together.
Fucking the beat boxer from the a cappella group.
Going to college and becoming a new person, who has sex.
Googling how to eat pussy.
How many Asians there are.
My high school boyfriend.

Performative wokeness.
Pretending to have done the reading.
Rocking a 1.5 GPA.
Sucking a flaccid penis for 20 minutes.
The sound of my roommate masturbating.
Throw up.
Uggs, leggings, and a North Face.
Underage drinking.
Valuable leadership experience.
Wandering the streets in search of a party.
Whichever one of you took a shit in the shower.
Young Republicans.
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Sci-Fi Pack
30 cards about what will happen when humanity goes too far with technology. Written with famous authors including Pa
Rothfuss. All profits donated to Worldbuilders. Released December 5, 2016. Icon: A rocket ship.
Computer! Display ______ on screen. Enhance.

Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to ______.
Madam President, the asteroid is headed directly for Earth and there's only one thing that can stop it: ______.
This won't be like negotiating with the Vogons. Humans only respond to one thing: ______.
What is the answer to life, the universe, and everything?
You have violated the Prime Directive! You exposed an alien culture to ______ before they were ready.
You're not going to believe this, but I'm you from the future! You've got to stop ______.
[A picture of Sean Connery in the movie Zardoz]

A hazmat suit full of farts.
A misty room full of glistening egg sacs.
A planet-devouring space worm named Rachel.
A protagonist with no qualities.
An alternate history where Hitler was gay but he still killed all those people.
Beep beep boop beep boop.
Cheerful blowjob robots.
Cosmic bowling.
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.
Frantically writing equations on a chalkboard.
Funkified aliens from the planet Groovius.
Going too far with science and bad things happening.
How great of a movie Men In Black was.
Laying thousands of eggs in a man's colon.
Masturbating Yoda's leathery turtle-penis.
Nine seasons of sexual tension with David Duchovny.
That girl from the Hunger Games.
The dystopia we're living in right now.
The ending of Lost.
Three boobs.
Trimming the poop out of Chewbacca's butt hair.
Vulcan sex-madness.
Food Pack
Originally released as three seperate promo packs sold with popsicles (cherry, coconut, and mango) during Pax Prime 20
cards about brekky gruffles and syrupy friend chortles. Co-written with Lucky Peach Magazine. Released to be purchase
from CAH’s website on November 19, 2015, with one card changed.
Icon: Crisscrossed knife and spoon.
Aw babe, your burbs smell like ______.
Don’t miss Rachel Ray’s hit new show, Cooking with ______.
Excuse me, waiter. Could you take this back? This soup tastes like ______.
I’m Bobby Flay, and if you can’t stand ______. get out of the kitchen!
It’s not delivery. It’s ______.

Now on Netflix: Jiro Dreams Of ______.
A belly full of hard-boiled eggs.

A Joyless vegan party.
A sobering quantity of chili cheese fries.
A table for one at The Cheesecake Factory.
Being emotionally and physically dominated by Gordon Ramsay.
Clamping down on a gazelle’s jugular and tasting its warm life waters.
Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet.
Father’s forbidden chocolates.
Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.
Jizz Twinkies.
Kale farts.
Kevin Bacon Bits.
Licking the cake batter off of grandma’s fingers.
Not knowing what to believe anymore about butter.
Oreos for dinner.
Real cheese flavor.
Soup that’s better than pussy.
Sucking down thousands of pounds of krill every day.
Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.
The Dial-A-Slice Apple Divider from Williams-Sonoma.
The Hellman’s Mayonnaise Corporation.
The hot dog I put in my vagina ten days ago.
The inaudible screams of carrots.
What to do with all of this chocolate on my penis.
Design Pack
The Design Pack contains 30 crazy white cards illustrated by some of the world's best graphic designers, including Milto
<3 NY), Susan Kare (the Apple Macintosh), Erik Spiekermann (MetaDesign), and legendary printmakers like Jay Ryan, Ya
Legendre, Olly Moss, Mike Mitchell, and Sonnenzimmer. 30 weird, illustrated, full-color white cards. Themed to George C
Seven Dirty Words. All profits donated to the Chicago Design Museum. Released July 28, 2015. Icon: An abstract symbol.
Type of picture
formatted like 2 of hearts playing card
clay figures having sex on a couch
a woman peeing on man in public several centuries ago as her friend laughs
light brown word on brown background
letters/numbers printed in white rows on red background

blue words on cartoon of chicken giving man blowjob
word handwritten in cursive underneath picture of q-tip covered in red substance

word labeled on what looks like a middle eastern candy label design, featuring a chicken enjoying a lollipop
white word on pink background with white curlique designs behind it
colored letters on white background in square formation
In word bubble yelled by a leg wearing green tights in pink/red face with white background
dripping colorful letters on black background with the letters at different heights
pink letters on white background
Fancy black curlique script on white background
Colored letters on black background
words around black and white bearded man drawing
Letters arranged in square around yellowish gradient
cursive word in brown on yellow background with the two 's's being eyes for a smiley face
white word on yellow backdrop with white droplet outline around it
18-in-1 Hemp PEPPERMINT', George Carlin quote
word on top of 'The Crystal Goblet, of Printing Should be Invisible' by Beatrice Warde (1930)
word on sign sticking out from cartoon skull
formatted as a Tweet
word on picture of space featuring the death star (?)
Word printed above very old picture of nude woman covering herself
formatted sort of like half nude queen of hearts playing card
drawing of sagging boobs with the nipples forming the word's 'T's)
word above typed printed out of: (@) (@)
Penis having sex with ankle (inside is word)
Jew Pack/Chosen People Pack

Fun fact: 100% of the Cards Against Humanity writers are Jewish. Can you believe it? A Jewish comedy writer! Anything
in 2016. 30 cards from their big brains full of facts and sadness. Previously released as part of Cards Against Humanity’s
Sensible Gifts for Hanukkah. Released November 10, 2015. These cards were re-released as the “Jew Pack” to be purchas
directly from CAH’s website on May 3, 2016.
Re-released as Chosen People Pack only sold in Target stores on 12/5/2017.
Icon: The Star of David.
According to Freud, all children progress through three stages of development: the oral stage, the anal stage, and the ____
Can't you see? The Jews are behind everything-the banks, the media, even ______!
Coming to Broadway next season: "______ on the Roof."
Oh, your daughter should meet my son! He gives to charity, he loves ______ and did I mention he's a doctor?
What's so important right now that you can't call your mother?
A big brain full of facts and sadness.
A headache that's definitely cancer.
A lifetime of internalized guilt.
A little bit of schmutz right there.
A three-foot-tall corned beef sandwich.
Bags of money.
Being chosen by God to win a free iPod Nano.
Chopping off a bit of the penis.
Demolishing that ass like a Palestinian village.
Hiding from the Nazis.
Holding up the line at Walgreens by trying to use an expired coupon.
Pork products.
Resurrecting an army of six million Jews and conquering Germany.
Sacrificing Isaac to the Lord.
Some kind of concentrated encampment for people.
Suddenly remembering that the Holocaust happened.
The blood of Christian babies.
The ethical implications of enjoying a Woody Allen film in light of the allegations against him.
The part of Anne Frank's diary where she talks about her vagina.
Thy neighbor's wife.
Torturing Jews until they say they're not Jews anymore.
Usury.
Wandering the desert for 40 years.
What it means to be a Jewish woman in contemporary society.
Whoopi Goldberg.
PAX East 2013 Promo Pack C
I don't know exactly how I got the PAX plague, but I suspect it had something to do with ______.
Press [down arrow] [down arrow] [left arrow] [right arrow] [B] to unleash ______.
Achieving 500 actions per minute.

Charging up all the way.
Forgetting to eat, and consequently dying.
Judging elves by the color of their skin and not by the content of their character.
Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees.
The Klobb.
Vespene gas.
Wil Wheaton crashing an actual spaceship.
PAX Prime 2014 - Panel Cards
A pack of 10 cards (5 white, 5 black) written during a CAH panel at PAX Prime 2014, given to the attendees of the panel.
Bob Ross's little-known first show was called "The Joy of ______."
Buzzfeed presents: 10 pictures of ______ that look like ______.
During my first game of D&D, I accidentally summoned ______.
Like ______, State Farm is there.
The Discovery Channel presents: ______ week.
A neck beard that is 10% cheese.

No survivors.
Pelvic sorcery.
Pooping as quietly as possible.
The beautiful sport of Turkish oil wrestling.
Tabletop Pack
Promo pack bonus for all of those who backed $20 or more for Season 3 of Tabletop Kickstarter campaign. Released August 2014. Ic
meeple.
Backers who supported Tabletop at the $25,000 level were astonished to receive ______ from Wil Wheaton himself.
For my turn, I will spend four gold and allocate all three workers to ______.
Hey, you guys want to try this awesome new game? It’s called ______.
A disappointing season of Tabletop that's just about tables.

A German-style board game where you invade Poland.
A marriage-destroying game of The Resistance.
A Wesley Crusher blow-up doll.
A zombie with a tragic backstory.
An owlbear.
Condensing centuries of economic exploitation into 90 minutes of gaming fun.
SIX GOD DAMN HOURS OF FUCKING DIPLOMACY.
The pooping position.
The porn set that Tabletop is filmed on.
Victory points.
Spending 8 years in the Himalayas becoming a master of dice-rolling and resource allocation.
Retail Product Pack
A 20 card expansion Pack for Cards Againt Humanity, available only at Target stores. Released on August 1, 2016. Icon: A
bag with a dollar sign.
Wait, I came here to buy socks. How did I wind up with ______?
A framed photocopy of an oil painting of Paris, France.

A Pringle.®
A Pringles® can full of screams.
An 800-foot-long pool noodle.
An exclusive partnership with Taylor Swift.
Blood Pringles.®
Buying and returning clothes just to have someone to talk to.
Buying the right toothbrush cup for my lifestyle.
Confusing possessions with accomplishments.
Crunchy snacks for my big flappy mouth.
Extracting the maximum amount of money from naive consumers.
Gender-neutral toys that make children feel no emotions whatsoever.

Getting eaten out in the family fitting room.
How fun it is to eat Pringles.®
Refusing to go up a size.
Saving 20% or more on khakis.
Shiny gadgets for sadness distraction.
Subsisting on tiny pizzas.
The obscene amount of money Cards Against Humanity is making by selling this game at Target.®
Desert Bus For Hope Pack
One of the rewards for those that backed the Desert Bus For Hope: The Documentary Kickstarter at the CA $20 level.
Desert Bus: ___ for the children.

I bless ___ down in Africa.
Ken "____" Steacy went back into his archives and found his original sketches for ______.
The four shifts at Desert Bus: Dawn Guard, Alpha Flight, Night Watch and ____.
YOU try explaining ___ to the media!
$10,000 worth of silica gel.

A bathroom only for poop.
A chair-shaped fart sponge.
A lethal dose of caffeine.
Accidentally broadcasting an NSFW video to 5,000 people.
An encyclopedic knowledge of Night Court.
Belting out the chorus of a popular song and mumbling through the rest.
Bill's mom.
Desert Bus.
Doing it for the children.
Having no idea what the fuck is going on.
Letting the internet feed you.
Playing one-handed.
Shipping a fish brick to Ohio.
The BONE ZONE!
The D E V I C E.
The Turner Lickability Scale.
Whale dong.
William Shatner watching you.
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Pack Image
Image (Click for image) Artist

(picture only: 2 of poop) Olly Moss
(picture only: clay figures having sex on a couch) Paul Octavious
(picture only: woman peeing on man in public) Laura Park
$HIT Milton Glaser
Erik
ab3de 1ghij 4lmno pqrst 2vwxy Spiekermann
COCK SUCKER Jay Ryan
Magdalena
Wistuba + Anna
cocksucker Mort
COCKSUCKER Jason Polan
cunt Paula Scher
CUNT Chad Kouri
Fuck! Art Paul
Fuuuuck Shawna X
MIKE HUNT. Nick Adam
Mother Fucker Jessica Hische
MOTHERFUCKER Mike McQuade
MOTHERFUCKER Yann Legendre

Tanner
PISS Woodford
Matthew
piss Hoffman
Piss Scott Thomas
PISS Max Temkin
PISS Eric Hu
SHIT Cody Hudson
SHIT Simon Whybray
shit. Matthew Terdich
Tits Debbie Millman

TITS Jez Burrows
TITS Mike Mitchell
Tits. Susan Kare
VAJANKLE Sonnenzimmer
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Seasons Greetings Pack
A Target exclusive holiday pack containing 12 new cards (2 prompt cards, 10 response cards) and
18 cards from previous holiday packs. Released 12/5/2017. Icon: a gift box with a bow.
Cards are designated as "New" or which previous pack they came from in the Comments column.
Blessed are you, Lord our God, creator of the universe, who has granted us _____.
Donna, pick up my dry cleaning and get my wife something for Christmas. I think she likes _____.
Here's what you can expect for the new year.
Out: __.
In: __.
It's beginning to look a lot like _____.
Jesus is _____.
This holiday season, Tim Allen must overcome his fear of _____ to save Christmas.
What's the one thing that makes an elf instantly ejaculate?
A choir of angels descending from the sky and jizzing all over dad's sweater.
A frozen homeless man shattering on your doorstep.
A toxic family environment.
Another shitty year.
Elf cum.
Finding out that Santa isn't real.
Fucking up Silent Night in front of 3,000 parents.
Gift wrapping a live hamster.
How cool it is that I love jesus and he loves me back.
How great of a blowjob Jesus could give.
How many drinks and Deborah has had.
Is snowman that contains the soul of my dead father.
My hot cousin.
My uncle who voted for Trump.
Piece of shit Christmas card with no money in them.
Pretending to be happy.
Probably grandma's last Christmas, kids.
Snow falling gently on the frozen body of an orphan boy.
Socks.
Starting to see where ISIS is coming from.
The 9,000 children who starred to death today.
The shittier, Jewish version of Christmas.
These low, low prices!
PAX Prime 2014 Custom Printed Cards
PAX Prime had a custom card printing booth (by AdMagic, the company that prints CAH cards)
where people could create their own CAH card with the assistance of CAH writers. The card would
then be printed for pickup later. This is a listing of cards that were posted online via social media.
Cards were printed with an identifying number in the lower left hand corner of the card. Those
numbers (when they were visible) are provided in the Comments column for those that wish to
have them.
What's the weirdest thing that AdMagic has printed?
Go Fuck Yourself.
100% certified human breast milk.
A bunch of weeaboos buying Nature Valley bars.
A drunken Sailor Pluto.
A gloryhole with a serrated edge.
A little person dressed as a baby punching an actual baby.
A magic card worth roughly $8.
A necrophiliamancer.
A pint of beer half-full of dead snails.
A real job with real responsibilities.
A Stark family where all of the children survive.
A tin of worms in metric or imperial.
Adrian Talens.
ADVENTURE!
All the Asians in Vancouver.
An idiot from New Jersey who can only make friends with Bay Area scum.
Assault Android Cactus.
Awkwardly having to sing Happy Birthday to a stranger.
Being named Gladys.
Bitcoin.
Bruce using the handicapped elevator even though he's a totally able-bodied person.
Butthurt.
Chit.
Chris Evans grabbing his left boob while laughing.
Classy Ewok porn.
Cortana.
Crippling OC D.
Danny got to 2nd base with his grandma.
Doing a barrel roll.
Drinking with the DCD.
Drymount.
Dying for the 418th time in Dark Souls.
Eating an entire pizza as a legit medical condition.
Elli the shit-head cat.
Exploding pancakes.
F5.
Fat bitch logic.
Filming Tabletop Deathmatch.
Five teenagers with attitude.
Flipper.
Fully appreciating naked Morris dancing.
Furry porn that's actually sort of hot.
Going back in time and fucking my mom to prove a point.
Grandpa Dick Chin.
Having nothing to prove.
Hiro, the dog.
Hitler's gas bill.

I am only using this card because i don't have any other cards to play.
Jacking off with sandpaper.
Jeff Price.
Jenn and Trin in the morning.
Jenny awkwardly trying to seduce Nathan Fillion.
Karlee Esmailli.
Liking Katy Perry… in secret.
Low hugs.
MAGFEST.
Making a sim family that's exactly the same as my real family.
Marcia Morgan's magnificent breasts.
Marinated anal juices.
Master Chief.
Max Temkin.
Max the Keyboard Cat.
Mowing the lawn, collecting the clippings, then Dickbutt.
Neckbeard, the nerdiest pirate.
Not being able to shit on a foreign throne.
Paying for sexual favors with Dogecoin.
Peen rub.
Pete's glorious penis.
Pinkie Pie.
Placing second placein a dumb T-shirt contest.
Player tears.
Playing whack-a-mole with the ban hammer.
Portland hipsters rockin' the moose knuckle.
Pretending that going to PAX is a job.
Putting on 3D glasses over your regular glasses and getting a wicked headache.
RAWR velociraptor.
Reaching the fabled, distant age of 30.
Sarah MendiYOLO.
Scrooge McDuck's scientifically accurate corkscrew phallus.
Selling PAX memorabilia on eBay.
Sharkisha.
Shitting dick nipples.
Stealing your dead clone's shit.
Stop! Name that lolita dress.
Suplexing a jabroni in the PAX Rumble.
That moment when the Protomen steal your chair.
The "Not a Thing" podcast.
The best Just Dance player in Turkey.
The blood, sweat and tears of a desparate, sleep-deprived cosplayer the night before a convention.
The Doubleclicks.
The hidden dick in your favorite Disney movie.
The moment Sharon realized she married Steve.
The People's Elbow.
The poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen especially to kill Kusco. Kusco's poison.
The race card.
The redic secondary mark-up of Cards Against Humanity Cards.
The tears of a million disappointed 49ers fans.
The token lesbian.
Too much foreskin.
Trung the pants-ripping bear.
Trying to explain David Lynch's oeuvre.
Tumblr opinions.
Unintentionally living the life of every Ellen Page character.
Valtrex Man.
Witnessing the decline of the rollerblade industry.
Trump Bug Out Bag/Post-Trump Pack

A pre-packed duffle bag with over a dozen items hand-picked to help you survive the collapse of civilization
after Donald Trump is elected President of the United States. Includes the Cards Against Humanity Trump
Pack with 25 new jokes about frightening demagogue Donald Trump. Initially made available for sale on May
18, 2016, and was sold out within hours. Re-released as the Post-Trump Pack on November 19, 2016 for a
limited time. No longer available. Icon: A nuclear tri-foil.
Donald Trump has nominated ______ for his VP.

In 2019, Donald Trump eliminated our national parks to make room for ______.
Donald Trump's first act as presidnet was to outlaw ______.
A legitimate reason to commit suicide.

A back-alley abortion from a Mexican cyborg doctor.
Whipping lower-class white men into a xenophobic frenzy.
Rage.
Trying to remember what music was.
Roaming through a wasteland of windblown trash and deserted highways.
Bringing millions of dangerous low-paying manufacturing jobs back to America.
A gnawing sense of dread.
Drinking urine to survive.
Nuclear winter.
President Donald Trump.
Casual dismissiveness.
Extra rations for my little girl.
World Wars 3 through 5.
Finding out that democracy might not be such a great idea.
Mild amusement.
Burying my only son.
The purging of the disloyal.
Trying to wake up from this nightmare.
A father and son fighting each other over the last scrap of bread.
Making Islam illegal.
Desperately hurling insults at Donald Trump as he absorbs them into his rapidly expanding body.
Hidden Compartment Pack

A pack hidden in a hidden compartment in a combined Exploding Kittens and Cards Against
Humanity end cap display in certain Targets. Released: 8/2/17 Symbol: An eye with a solid black
cornea that has a white dot in the upper right quadrant.
A blind, quadriplegic AIDS survivor with face cancer and diarrhea.

A gossamer stream of jizz that catches the light as is arcs through the morning air.
Chugging a gallon of milk and then vomiting a gallon of milk.
Digging up Heath Ledger's corpse to reenact the prom scene from Ten Things I Hate About You.
Eight beautiful men jerking each other off in front of a fountain.
Free ice cream forever, or getting fingered by Chris Hemsworth for five minutes.
Getting drugs off the street and into my body.
Giving ISIS whatever they want so they leave us alone.
Hickory-fucked pork ribs smothered in hot garbage.
How far I can get my own penis up my butt.
How wonderful it is when my master throws the ball and I go and get it for him.
Ruth Bader Ginsberg brutally graveling your penis.
Sitting in a jar of vinegar all night because I am pickle.
Throwing a baby dolphin back into the ocean with a perfect spiral.
Throwing your hands in the air and waving them despite caring deeply.
Cards Against Humanity Saves America
2017 Holiday Promotion "Cards Against Humanity Save America" announced November 14, 2017.
Icon: A star
Day One (11/29/2017; Cards Against Humanity Stops The Wall)

"They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are _____."
Our dumb asshole president.

Mexicans and Muslims.
How easy it is to climb over a wall with a ladder.
Getting deported.
Guacamole.
Day Two (12/4/2017; The Good News Podcast)

A baby panda that just can't keep its eyes open.
Two baby otters holding hands.
A laundry basket full of baby bunnies.
Two hamsters nibbling on a tiny burrito.
A stack of puppies in a trench coat.
A really good dog.
Day Three (12/8/2017; Cards Against Humanity Redistributes Your Wealth)

NOTE: The Day 3 mailer included the prompt card and one of the response cards. Which response card
was received depended on how the questions from the survey were answered when ordering the
promotion.
Oh shit! I just got ______.
My money stolen by Cards Against Humanity and redistributed to people poorer than me.
A full refund from Cards Against Humanity, paid for by people richer than me.
A $1,000 check from Cards Against Humanity!
Day 4 (12/11/2017; Cards Against Humanity Destroys Homework)

When asked about the biggest threat facing the nation, 60% of Americans said ______.
The truth.
White people becoming a minority.
Slowly shaking my head at a sad statistic.
A gay Republican somehow.
The shocking stupidity of the American public.
Day 5 (12/16/2017; Cards Agianst Humanity's Pulse of the Nation)

Cry havoc and let slip ______!
The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our starts, but in ______.
Now is the winter of our discontent, made glorious summer by ______.
Speaking in iambic pentameter.

The significance of eyes in King Lear.
Taking a minute to really unpack what Shakespeare is getting at in this scene.
Day 6 (12/21/2017; Cards Against Humanity Saves Baseball)

You see, son, baseball is like ______. Don't overthink it.
We want a pitcher, not ______!
Teaching my son to love the Red Sox and hate minorities.

Lou Gehrig's Disease.
Yelling "I got it, I got it!"
My drunk father screaming from the bleachers.
Special Comments
2013 Holiday Pack

New
2013 Holiday Pack
New
2012 Holiday Pack

2012 Holiday Pack
2013 Holiday Pack
New
New
2012 Holiday Pack
2012 Holiday Pack
2012 Holiday Pack
2013 Holiday Pack
2012 Holiday Pack
2012 Holiday Pack
New
New
New
New
2012 Holiday Pack
New
2013 Holiday Pack
2012 Holiday Pack
New
New
2012 Holiday Pack
New
2014 Holiday Pack
2013 Holiday Pack
2013 Holiday Pack
Special Comments
Given out when a person came back to pick up their card, but their card was not ready
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Response
Response
Blurbs Against Buffalo
https://www.georgeandcompany.co/products/blurbs-against-buffalo-card-game
A Buffalo, NY themed expansion.
Funded successfully on April 9, 2015 raising $3,000 with 169 backers. Released May 31, 2015. Sold in stores in the Buffa
area.
_______, a failure of the S.U.N.Y. education system.

After attending Food Truck Tuesdy at Larkinville I frequently enjoy ______.
After taking on the Buffalo School Board, Carl Paladino takes on _______.
After the Ice Boom was removed, ______ was floating down the Niagara River.
An abandoned grain elevator filled with ______ would be a good time.
An unexpected slowdown in traffic on the 33, obviously caused by ______.
Headlining at Canalside this summer, my favorite band: ______.
I am confident that ______ would finally make the Sabres good.
I got blackout drunk on Chippewa and hooked up with _______.
I would personally deliver a flaming bag of ______ to Bon Jovi's doorstep.
I would rather ______ than see Tom Brady win anything. When he does win, I think about ______.
If I opened my own brewery in Buffalo, I would call it ______.
Most of the new activities downtown seem cool, but I absolutely refuse to try ______!
Rex Ryan's tricked out Buffalo Bills pickup truck is probably filled with ______ and ______.
So that's why I called my night with Janet Snyder: ______.
Terry Pegula usually imagines ______ to remain calm during his awkward press conferences.
There is no way I'm going near the Perry Projects. I might run into ______.
When you put a Ted's Hotdog in a Lloyd Taco you get: ______.
10 feet of snow in 2 days.

A blow job from Shark Girl, with teeth.
A bottle of Frank's® RedHot® Sauce emptied into the urethra.
A dirty diaper filled with Lloyd taco meat.
A local organized band of pirates, hijacking the Ms. Buffalo.
A mustache ride from the ghost of Teddy Roosevelt.
A new TV dating show called "Win a Date with Kim Pegula".
A Northtowns vs. Southtowns Civil War.
A physical altercation over a Buffalo Chicken Finger Sub.
A Roswell treatment gone very wrong.
A seriious addiction to Andersons ice cream.
A sub-par Beef on Weck.
A wall of snow that can be seen from miles away.
An ice bike rental at Canalside.
An overpopulation of rabid middle-aged Canadian women wreaking havoc on the Galleria Mall.
Ani DiFranco's hairy armpits.
Backstage of the theatre at UB.
Biting into a Ted's Hotdog and finding veins.
Blowing a line of coke off of Rick James' tombstone.
Boy I Love Losing Super Bowls.
Bungee jumping from the Skyway.
Canisius College Football, undefeated since 2002.
Checking in to a comfortable room at the Buffalo Psych Center.
Cheektavegas.
Cheerio scented air freshener, brought to you by General Mills.
Cleaning the floor of the bathroom at The Pink with your tongue.
Drinking Brett Hull's blood out of Lord Stanley's Cup.
Every new restaurant's obsession with Poutine.
Ghost pepper chicken wing shits.
Going over Niagara Falls in a barrel.
Loganberry flavored Jell-o wrestling.
Making out with the homeless guy who's pissing on the subway tracks.
Mayor Byron Brown's snarky attitude.
Mickey Rats' classy vibe.
Motorboating Billy Fucillo's man-boobs. It's gonn be HUGE!
Pegulaville!
Rick Jeanneret slowly licking the side of your face.
Sex in public at the Bufalo Zoo.
Streaking down Elmwood.
Taro Tsujimoto.
The absurd amount of dog shit that appears on the sidewalk immediately after all the snow melts.
The Buffalo Billion.
The feeling of panic that you get about 10 minutes after eating Mighty Taco and there is no bathroom in sight.
The Goo Goo Dolls.
The Labatt Pond Hockey Tournament.
The Labatty Splatties.
The Lackawanna 6.
The old Club 31.
The petrified testicles of Frank Lloyd Wright.
The unwashed portion of the Allentown hipster community.
Tim Hortons coffee and a bag of dicks.
Toothless people on Seneca St.
Topless spring skiing at Holiday Valley.
West Side gentrification.

Created by Redditor kitekidyoo; No longer available.
The prompt cards did not have anything in the 'special' column. I am not sure if the original cards had anything on them or not
have taken the liberty of adding 'PICK 2' and 'DRAW 2, PICK 3' where appropriate -- cards410, 8/28/2016
Cards have been typed here as they appeared on cards, spelling & grammar mistakes are theirs.
______ is my motivation.
______ is the active ingredient in cigarettes.
______ was the cause of the Holocaust.
A McDonald's employee was recently fired for placing ______ in children's Happy Meals.
Daddy, what made you divorce Mommy?
I use drugs to escape ______.
My anaconda don't want none unless you got ______ Hun.
My favorite hobby is ______.
My parents found ______ when browsing my web history.
The Pulitzer prize for ______ goes to ______.
The reason the ozone layer is decaying is because of ______.
They say ______ is the best medicine.
War World II was the result of what?
We should stop war on ______, it has ruined more lives than saved.
What are my relatives hiding from me?
What did I bring back from Cancun?
What do they call American Cheese in Canada?
What gave me unforgiving, ever lasting, flaming diarrhea?
What is George W. Bush's favorite past time?
What is my biggest turn off?
What is Serena Williams's guilty pleasure?
What is that noise from?
What is the perfect aphrodisiac for triggering a threesome?
What lead to me getting fired form my last job?
What left this mark on my carpet?
What was Paul Walker's last meal?
When committing a deadly sin I always think about?
When I am a newly appointed dictator of a war torn nation, I will legalize ______.
When listening to a Creed album, I feel like ______.
When masturbating, I dream about?
3.9 billion years of evolution.

A bag of dicks.
A bushel of pubes.
A cum-stained rainbow.
A flaming bag of horse shit.
A malaria party.
A malaria party.
A pong machine that's self-aware.
A slow painful death.
Adderall.
An Aids infected penis.
An ancient Aztecan warrior's foreskin.
An ass so fat it breaks the laws of physics.
Anal bleeding.
Asians singing karoke.
Beating a small child with a small child.
Being a clever little girl.
Being poor.
Being so rich you can wipe your ass with $20 bills.
Bill Cosby.
Crawling into a vagina.
Creepy guys at the edge of the dance floor.
Cunnilingus.
Disappointment of my parents.
Donkey punching your high school crush.
Drug problems.
Dry-humping mannequins in a store window at the mall.
Ejaculating into the tuna fish slad.
Elderly Korean men.
Elton John's wardrobe.
Faith in mankind.
Farting in a crowded elevator.
Farting into a child's stroller.
Finger banging my little sister.
Fisting your own asshole.
Getting a rim-job from the baby sitter.
Getting really concerned about global warming for a few seconds.
Giving Bill Clinton oral sex.
Gonorrhea.
Grandmother's heart-shaped box.
Great grandfather's dirtstar.
Happy Endings.
Helen Keller's Tampon.
Herpes.
Hipsters.
Hoverboards.
Licking your partner's feet.
Mexicans.
Michelle Obama.
Midget porn obsession.
Money shots.
My dick in your mouth.
Old Asian women drivers.
Penis hunters.
Playing hot potato with a live grenade.
Princess Lelia's vagina.
Quaaludes.
Rank ass breath.
Rape victims.
Raptor attacks.
Ron Jeremy's foreskin, which is still bigger than my dick.
Rosie O'Donnell's dick.
Slammin a live fish on the counter and calling it dinner.
Small man syndrome.
Soaking.
Stealing candy from a small child.
Sucking dick for money.
Taco bell poops.
Texting while driving.
Two girls one cup.
The 1%.
The black lung.
The blacks.
The timing on my menstrual cycle.
Used condoms.
Using bacon grease as lubricant.
Unicorn and Rainbows.
Whoopie Goldberg's nipples.
Wife Beaters.

http://www.amazon.com/Carbs-Huge-Manatee-General-Expansion/dp/B0169275Q4
Several of the cards have footnotes explaining the terminology used on the cards. Those are included in this list in the Footno
column.
______ is my co-pilot.
______, that's why I got married.
______: A solution in search of a problem.
“Give me liberty or give me ______!”

“I love the smell of ______ in the morning!”
“Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending ______?” - Rick Santorum
A spoonful of ______ helps the ______ go down.
I never should have introduced ______ to ______.
I think, therefore I am ______.
I use the Internet to look at pictures of ______.

I was in ______ but my life changed when I found ______.
If you build ______, they will come.

In your Best-Man speech, I'd talk about when we found ourselves ______.
Last night, I tried ______ again. It was MUCH better the second time.
Me and ______? That's just a rumor!
My fortune cookie said I should spend more time playing with ______ and less time with ______.
My personal trainer showed me this cool thing I could do with ______ and ______.
Randaflex™: The first over-the-counter treatment for ______.
The only mind-altering substance I use is ______.
We've secretly taken the coffee you usually drink and replaced it with ______.
What's my spirit animal?

You did ______? With ______? For how many cookies?
“Somebody That I Used To Know” covered by Sting.

A cuddle puddle.
A dildo cannon.
A light-green satin corset.
A little bit pregnant.
A meat party in my mouth!
A princess who can kill the dragon on her own, thank you very much.
A sad panda.
A selfie where you can see that you didn't clean up after last night's escapades.
A smaller, blacker vagina.
A special little snowflake.

A willing sheep.
An open relationship status on Facebook.
Androgynous haircuts.
Being absolutely crazy about my therapist.
Being aggressive-aggressive. It's like passive-aggressive, but without the “passive.”
Being disappointed when your date drops their pants.
Being mad stylin', yo.
Bizarre acapella renditions of popular songs.
Bombing the homeless.
Burning Man.
Carlos Chang's Fine Italian Cuisine.
Carmen Sandiego's clitoris.
Clitter™! Glitter for your vagina!*

Coffee so strong that it can be used for vision quests.
Comfy sweats and premium ice cream.

Cranky Old Man 2: Get Off My Lawn!™ New from Capcom Games!
Creeper.
Cross-generational sex talk.
Daiya cheese.*
Defenestration.*
Dihydrogen Monoxide.*
Discovering that he's hung like a lightswitch.
Embarrassing bridal shower gifts.

Expired memes.
Facebook friend-purging.
Failing the Bechtel Test* in real life.

Fashion advice from Amazon's homepage.
Firecracker chocolate.*
Georgia O'Keeffe.
Gingers don't have souls.
Going out on a date with a guy who might be 6 feet tall – but only if he's wearing heels.
Happy Family Memories.*

Hearing neighbors having sex... and not finding her believable.
Heavy flow.
High powered jacuzzi jets.
Hot, left-handed, women geeks.
Identity theft.
Illegal downloading.
Instagramming pictures of food.
Intense, grab your ankles vomiting.
Introducing yourself after the dance.

Just remember that Jesus Loves You.
Just to see how it feels...
Kermit the frog porking out.
Misplaced WMDs.
Missing the bowl.
Morbidly obese, 9-year-old children with high cholesterol.
Not labia. YAY-bia!
Not remembering the difference between Second-Wave and Third-Wave feminism.

Paint fumes in an enclosed space.
Portland.
President Hillary enjoying a male intern.

Puppy breath.
Russian homophobia.
Sand in the damnedest places.
Sarah Palin at Toastmasters™.
Self-righteous hipsters.
Single-payer healthcare like the rest of the civilized world.
Sneezing while wearing the Diva Cup™ and a skirt with no underwear.*
Soy Milk.
Stupid Cosmo Sex Tips.

Talking with your girlfriends about his “limitations.”
Tasty, tasty cheese.

That sounds like my first time.
The dumpster behind the supermarket.

The Fox News Team.
The gayest straight man you know.

The horrifying realization that Jesus wasn't white. Or capitalist. Or American.
The hunched posture teenage girls get from texting all the time.
The NuvaRing™.*
The world's angriest ginger.
Thinking, “I'm missing 'Big Bang Theory' for this?”
Tonight's special – Stuffed avocado.

Tori Amos' new album.
Turtle sex.
Unbelievably hot smart women.
Volleyball shorts.
Wearing jeans so you don't have to shave.
Wiccan prayer in school.
You and your best friend simultaneously flashing the hand signal for “abortion” at the first sound of a baby crying.*
Your asshole inner voice.

http://carbsofthehugemanatee.com/cards_exp_3.php
Currently not available for purchase.
_______________ of Unusual Size? I don't believe in them.

“_______________ victims should make the best of a bad situation.” – Rick Santorum
A loaf of bread, a glass of wine, and _______________.
Each freckle is a soul that a ginger has _______________.
He's _______________. She's _______________. Together they fight crime!
I got a job once cleaning _______________.
I was thinking of the immortal words of Socrates who said, “I drank _______________???”
I'd like to force the members of the Westboro Baptist Church to _______________ each other. Repeatedly.
I'd make a card with Star Trek references, but the _______________ at Paramount are lawsuit-happy.
If I hear _______________ one more time, I'm going to punch a baby.
“If it's a legitimate _______________, the female body has ways of shutting that whole thing down.” - Todd Akin
Is this a dagger I see before me? No, it's _______________.
It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, _______________, it's dark… and we're wearing sunglasses.
My dissertation wasn't complete until I figured out the connection between Milton's “Paradise Lost” and _______________.
My Love is like a _______________.
So then he says, “If you want to make this relationship work, you need to give up _______________ and _______________.”
The latest miracle is a statue whose eyes bleed when in the presence of _______________.
Why can't we have nice things?
(1/2 * your age) + 7

3/4th ounce of bitters, another 3/4th ounce of bitters, yet another 3/4th ounce of bitters, 3 ounces of orange bitters, 3 ounces o
tall glass over ice. Garnish with an orange slice and tears.
Nipple hair.
“Knock Knock, Motherfucker.”
“Working” from home.
15 wild badgers living in my trousers.
A Coffee Break For Sisyphus.
A solution in search of a problem.
A towel.
A White Panel Van with a Sign That Says “Free Candy.”
Action Nerd.
All natural.
Bad Girl Shenanigans.
Bath Salts.
Big Data.
Boat Nectar.
Bow Ties.
Bryan Adams being raped by a moose.
Cake Is The Only Thing That Matters.
Camp Cosmos.
Can’t Stop The Signal.
Captain Jack Harkness.
Clinical Depression.
Consumer whore.
Cthulhu.
Die in a fire.
Disposable Shitboard Bookcases from IKEA.
Do Not Bounce.
Do you want a Nutter Butter? They’re Delicious!
Don’t Blink.
Ending Women’s Suffrage.
For the love of coffee!
God Less America
God of Cake.
Groped By An Angel.
I would lick that for hours.
Inappropriately handling your ex-girlfriend’s underthings before returning them to her.
Invisible Pink Unicorn.
It’s Frothy!
Jalapeños as a basic food group.
Just Glue Some Gears On It
Just turned 18.
Kenny Loggins can read minds.
Laundry day.
Mezcal of the Gods
Mid-Air Birth.
No results found.
Not feeling… fresh?
Not Pro-Choice, actively Pro-Abortion.
Organic.
Out of your league.
Oxygen Thieves.
Peace, love, and surf naked.
Plot Twist!
Poser in a parka.
Psychiatrists Without Borders.
Raccoons With Lightsabers.
Red Shirts.
Rule 34.
Sapiosexual.
Screaming and Then Silence.

Setting an elderly relative adrift on an ice flow.
Shiny Whore Fund.
Shiny!
Shoe Slut.
So-called “Nice Guys” and entitlement issues.
Some douchebag yelling “More Cowbell.”

Some of God’s Tears.
Sparkadelica.
Sparkle Pony.
Spaying and neutering irresponsible pet owners.
Stage troll
Steampunk.
Stem cells aren’t people. Soylent Green is people.

Strip Twister.
That kills people!
The Alot.
The Full-Size White Pick-Up Truck — The Official Vehicle Of The Texas Asshole Ten Years Running.
The Helvetica Scenario.
The instant downgrade of attractiveness of someone who says, “I don’t read.”
The Many-Angled Ones.
The smell of sex.
Thin Mints.
Unitarian Jihad.
Vagina Dentata.
Vegemite.
Veni, Vidi, Venti. (I came, I saw, I had a large coffee).
Wombat Nookie.
You Can Do It!
You wish.
Cards and Punishment Vol. One
http://www.cardsandpunishment.com/
Created by Redditor theperk.
______ a day keeps the doctor away.

______ brings all the boys to the yard.
______ is the new ______.
______ is why we can't have nice things.
______ shaped my childhood, making me the person I am today.
Before hot dogs, Kobayashi was the champion of devouring ______.

Earth! Fire! Wind! Water! ______! By your powers combined, I am Captain ______!
Everything is awesome! Everything is cool when you're part of ______!
Fifth base will henceforth be considered ______.
Fuck this. I'm going to create my own United States of ______.
Fuck, marry, kill.
Gone are the days of the rock star. Now it's all about sex, drugs, and ______.
I came up with a new dance move. I call it "______".
I learned about ______ in high school and ______ in college.
I liked ______ before it was cool.
I would rather have my "O" face resemble ______ than ______.
I'm straight, but ______ could turn me gay.
If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call?

In space, no one can hear ______.
It rubs ______ on its skin or else it gets ______ again.
It's dangerous to go alone! Take this.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take ______.
Last night I dreamt of an alternate universe where everyone shit ______ and puked ______.
Last night was totally epic and can only be explained throught he eloquence of hashtags! #______ #______ #______.
Leonardo DiCaprio will finally win an Oscar for his role in ______.
My perfect day would have to include ______ followed by ______.
On the next episode of My Strange Addiction, Josh just can't get enough of ______.
On the next episode of “My Strange Addiction”, Josh just can't get enough of ______.
One nation, under ______, with ______ and ______ for all.
One nation, under ______, indivisible, with ______ and ______ for all.
People have started eating ____ because it's organic and gluten-free.
The area was evacuated and deemed uninhabitable due to ______.
The snozberries taste like ______.
The snozzberries taste like ______.
What convinced me to stop believing in a higher power?
What gave me the 24-hour runs?
When life hands you ______, make ______.
You had me at "______".
You might be a redneck if you use ______ for ______.
A denture-free blowjob from Betty White.

A donkey punch.
A face only a mother could love.
A particiation award.
A participation award.
A retirement home orgy.
A reverse mermaid pathetically kicking around in a circle.
A rug that really ties the room together.
A unicorn with a unibrow riding a unicycle.
Accidentally drunk sexting Dad.
Accidently drunk sexting your parents.
Amateur acupuncture.
An "accidental" facial.
An 89-year-old woman with time and gravity-affected breast implants jumping rope.
An empty, neutered ballsack.
An extravagent merkin.
Another Saturday night alone, a jar full of peanut butter, and my dog.
Asking a morbidly obese woman if she's pregnant.
Beans, beans, the magical fruit.
Being dumber than a 5th grader.
Bill Fucking Murray.
Bill's penis in and around Hillary's mouth.
Blowing into a Nintendo cartridge and passing out.
Butt barf.
Buying a dog as a practice child and failing miserably.
Buying a dog as a practice kid and colossally failing.
Consuming undercooked eggs or poultry.
Danger zone!
Defiling new car smell.
Deliberately spreading STDs.
Disguising a queef as a fart.
Docking.
Donkey punching Donkey Kong.
Dressing as yourself for Halloween.
Dropping the soap.
Ducking autocorrect.
Either a queef or a fart.
Failing to honor my 5th grade D.A.R.E. agreement.
Farmers who fuck goats.
Finding a used Band-Aid in the pool.
Forgetting about Dre.
Harriet Tubman underboob.
Having a big toe for all of your toes.
Having a big toe for all ten toes.
Immediate regret.
Ironic facial hair.
Junk in the trunk.
Kitten mittens.
Lena Dunham's voluptuous muffin top.
Literally fucking the shit out of someone.
Love.
Luigi's inferiority complex.
Male pattern baldness on a female.
Masking failures with religion.
Masturbating in the produce section.
Methin' around.
Michael Cera finally hitting puberty,
Mistaking sriracha for contact lens solution.
Movie theater handjobs.
My windowless white van.
Naked sumo jello wrestling.
Not playing this game because you're Mormon.
Overdosing on life.
Owen Wilson's nose.
Pineapple-infused cum.
Poking a fatty on Facebook.
Premature defecation.
Pulling the plug.
Shotgunning a Four Loco®, Bro!
Shotgunning a Four Loko, bro!
Showing that bitch a whole new world.
Simultaneous diarrhea and vomiting.
Simultaneous diarrhea and vomitting.
Sniffing scented markers for a quick fix.
Snorting the fine line between genius and insanity.
Sober sex.
Some type of palsy.
Someone who looks retarded but isn't.
Stinging urination.
Taking our jobs.
The antidote.
The douchebag whose humor consists solely of quoting movies, expecially Anchorman.
The ever-worsening wrath of the hangover gods.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The Human Centipede: infinity edition.
The Itty Bitty Titty Committee.
The little bastard kicking the back of your airplane seat while his parents do absolutely fucking nothing.
The restraining order.
The secret sauce on my mystery meat.
The sound of stirring macaroni and cheese.
The TSA guy stroking it to your naked body scan in the back room.
The worst case of hemorrhoids I have ever seen.
This shit again.
Wiping back to front.
http://carpsandangstymanatee.com/
Created by Redditors chipjet & PerpetualBaxter
According to the latest issue of Cosmo, what is the one thing guys crave most in bed?
Crossfitters won't stop talking about a new exercise in their routine that involves ______.
Do you suffer from ______? Find instant relief with ______.
Face it, ladies. I'm older and I have ______.
I gave her my heart and she gave me ______.
I gave up ______ for Lent.
I started feeling old after I got into ______.

I'm not sure what to get my mom for Mother's Day, but I'm getting your mom ______.
In his next movie, Rob Schneider is ______.
In the next episode, Ms. Frizzle and her class explore ______ in the Magic School Bus.
Next on Dr. Phil: How to talk to your child about ______.
Swipe right if you're looking for ______.
The 102nd position of the Kama Sutra involves ______.
What do porn directors masturbate to?
What makes me moist?
What's the one thing the opposite sex is good for?
When Taylor Swift and I broke up, she wrote a song about our relationship called ______.
When you've got ______, flaunt it.
What did South Carolina replace the Confederate Flag with on its buildings?
In the latest multi-level marketing scheme sweeping the nation, women are throwing parties to sell ______.
A $300 banana suit.

A bar full of guys wearing plaid.
A beard of pubes glued to your face.
A Catholic priest.
A cum guzzling thundercunt.
A dick-sized tuxedo and top hat.
A dry hole.
A DVD of Cool Runnings.
A fire crotch.
A fish pussy that smells people-y.
A formal apology.
A gosh darned cunt.
A half-assed combover.
A hamster wheel-powered sex machine.
A heavy petting zoo.
A horse hung like a human.
A hot diaper.
A hundred 5th graders in the mall playing the recorder.
A limp banana.
A mermaid's vagina.
A Monica Lewinsky Pez dispenser where the candies are shaped like little dicks.
A pirate with peg legs and peg arms trying to drink a bottle of rum.
A plethora of pleather.
A pretentious jug band.
A really long nipple hair.
A room full of my exes.
A sexy uterus.
A strategic nip slip.
A white, upper middle class Rastafarian smoking the ganja.
Accidental incest.
Acting like a goddamn adult.
Affirmative Action.
Airline food.
All Mexican people, including the Puerto Ricans.
American exceptionalism.
An apathetic government employee.
An interspecies orgy.
An off-center soul patch.
An ugly baby.
Anti-vaxxers.
Applying to grad school instead of actually figuring out what you want to do with your life.
Attempting to reignite an old flame with your 7th grade crush through Facebook.
Autofellatio.
Being cunty.
Being desensitized by a card game.
Birds with bowel problems trying to hold it until they reach the mall parking lot.
Blowing into a penis to inflate the ball sack.
Convenience fees.
Business socks.
Butt tickling.
Butt zits.
Cargo shorts.
Caulk.
Chinese people.
Christian rock.
Claiming to have a gluten allergy.
Claiming to like jazz.
Conducting business on the toilet.
Craigslist prostitutes.
Dad bods.
Decorative balls.
Dicktits.
Disguising a fart with a cough.
Disguising my herpes with enormous pubic hair.
Drinking wine from a bag.
Driving while black.
Dropping food out of your mouth into a baby's mouth.
Farting in an elevator.
Festive raccoons.
Fingerbanging.
Fuck stains.
Gay animals.
Getting catfished.
Getting married so you can have sex.
Getting ratchet.
Girls with low self-esteem.
Going black and then going back.
Having sex on a giant mound of bubble wrap.
Horny Supreme Court Justices.
Horny teenagers ejaculating all over everything.
Huge nipples.
Human meat.
Impotent rage.
Instititutional racism.
Jerking off to the Sears catalog.
Joel Osteen.
Jousting with boners.
Latrine smell.
Love butter.
Magical underpants.
Mangina.
Money, hoes, cars and clothes.
Mouth diarrhea.
Not giving a good goddamn.
One charming motherfucking pig.
Over the shoulder boulder holders.
People that wear Ed Hardy.
People with a 4.0 GPA.
Persistent, uncontrollable queefing.
Pinocchio nose-fucking Geppetto.
Pirating music in an eyepatch.
Pleated jeans.
Poop in a jar.
Pooping into a vagina.
Porn bloopers.
Precious Moments figurines.
Prostitute breath.
Pussy hair.
Putting the pussy on a pedestal.
Realizing that you're the asshole.
Rectal bleaching.
Rubber balls and liquor.
Scrotum ironing.
Shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Skirts that are more than 3 inches above the knee.
Sports analogies.
Suburbanites.
The FUPA.
The gay child of a Republican politician.
The Good Book.
The guy at the party playing Wonderwall on an acoustic guitar.
The military-industrial complex.
The people that cause idiotic warning labels.
Topical ointment.
Watching a TED talk but not really learning anything.
The anal glands of a beaver.
An inside-out vagina.
Jerking off a penis with a vagina.
Reckless pregaming.
A buttplug in the shape of Donald Trump.
Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode I - The Dirty Goblin

http://www.catsabidinghorribly.com/
Created by Redditor HorribleRae.
______. Is my way of giving back to the community.
______ is my way of giving back to the community.

A Hollywood remake of 2 girls 1 cup should star ______ as the cup.
A Hollywood remake of 2 Girls 1 Cup should star ______ as the cup.
And for my final wish Genie, I want you to make me the master of ______.
And for my final wish, Genie, I want you to make me the master of ______.
As a huge fan of 50 Shades of Gray I'm a bit disappointed with the film's casting, I've always pictured ______ as Gray.
As a huge fan of 50 Shades of Grey, I'm a bit disappointed with the film's casting. I've always pictured ______ as Grey.
Baby got ______.
Colleges should really start offering classes in ______.

Dear Allah, if I promise to stop ______ will you let me into heaven and give me 72 virgins?
Dear Allah, if I promise to stop ______, will you let me into Heaven and give me 72 virgins?
Don't get me wrong I think what Hitler did and stood for is horrible but you have to admit he was was spot on about ______.
Don't get me wrong. I think what Hitler did and stood for is horrible, but you have to admit he was was spot on about ______.
Girls just wanna have ______.
Google recently changed its corporate slogan from "Don't be Evil" to ______.
Google recently changed its corporate slogan from "Don't Be Evil" to ______.
Growing up I didn't have many friends. Kids always teased me about my fascination with ______.
Growing up I didn't have many friends. Kids always teased me for my fascination with ______.
Hallelujah it's raining ______.
Hallelujah, it's raining ______.

I didn't want to tell it to her face, but her baby reminds me of ______.
I didn't want to tell it to their faces but their baby reminds me of ______.
I expected it would suck but the opposite happened. "______: The Movie" is now officially my favorite movie ever.
I expected it would suck, but the opposite happened. "______: The Movie" is now officially my favorite movie ever.
I gave my girlfriend ______ last Valentine's Day. Now I cry myself to sleep every night, all alone in my cold hard bed.
I hate it when I take a girl home and find out she has ______ where a vagina should be.
I hate it when I take a girl home and find out she has ______ where should be a vagina.
I knew it meant trouble when I heard a voice scream "______!" mid flight. And unfortunately I was right.
I knew it meant trouble when I heard a voice scream "______!" mid-flight. And unfortunately I was right.
I love the smell of ______ in the morning.
I really miss the good old days when men were men and ______ could not vote.
I would move heaven and earth, I would split the ocean, even ______ would not be able to stop me from being with you my lov
I would move heaven and earth, I would split the ocean, even ______ would not be able to stop me from being with you, my lo
I'd rather stick my dick in ______ than ______.
I'd rather stick my dick in ______ then ______.
I'm afraid the only way to exorcise this demon is by ______.
In a riveting speech, Gandhi convinced his followers of the virtues of ______.
In a riveting speech Ghandi convinced his followers of the virtues of ______.

In the next Marvel movie we will witness ______ take on ______ for world domination.
Instead of waterboarding Guantanamo Bay prisoners now have to endure ______, sometimes for hours on end.
Instead of waterboarding, Guantanamo Bay prisoners now have to endure ______, sometimes for hours on end.
Last night my husband and I invited ______ over for a threesome. How YOLO of us, right?
Remember every time you think of ______, The Lord kills ______.
Remember, every time you think of ______, The Lord kills ______.
Sir, for the last time. We simply do not allow ______ in here. You will have to find another establishment.
Siri, what is the meaning of life?
So happy the doctor was able to get ______ out. Next time I'll be more careful with what I put up my butt, lol! #neveragain.
So happy the doctor was able to get ______ out. Next time I'll definitely be more careful with what I put up my butt, lol! #nevera
So you're telling me we can land a man on the moon but ______ is out of the question?
So you're telling me we can land a man on the moon, but ______ is out of the question?
Suzy if you don't eat your food and keep misbehaving ______ will come and get you.
Suzy, if you don't eat your food and keep misbehaving, ______ will come and get you.
The only thing worse than ______ is ______.
The only thing worse then ______ is ______.
There is abundant scientific evidence that for some people vaccination might lead to ______ later in life.
Tonight on the No Spin Zone! Bill O'Reilly will be debating ______ on the topic of ______.
Tonight on the "No Spin Zone!" Bill O'Riley will be debating ______ on the topic of ______.
What caused those smelly stains in my underwear?
What's holding you back from achieving your dreams?
What's the absolute last thing you want to catch your Dad doing?
When she was little my sister could not pronounce my name correctly so she called me ______ instead. It has stuck ever since
When she was little, my sister could not pronounce my name correctly, so she called me ______ instead. It has stuck ever sinc
You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You ge
You get ______! Everybody gets ______!
You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You get ______! You ge
You get ______! Everybody gets ______!!!
A bowl of primordial soup.
A dildo so big it won't fit anywhere.
A dried up vagina.
A dried-up vagina.
A good ol' TSA pat down.
A good ol' TSA pat-down.
A lack of respect for personal space.
A mildly retarded seahorse.
A power bottom.
A sex change operation gone horribly wrong.
A slender, pasty vampire that sparkles in the sun.
A slender, pasty vampire that sparkles in the sun named Edward.
A stud muffin.
Accidentally getting jizzed on in a threesome.
Allahu akbar.
Allahu Akbar!
An irrational hatred for midgets.
An irrational hatred of midgets.
An openly gay living statue.
An overworked Chippendales® dancer.
An uninspiring make out session with a Mexican.
An uninspiring make-out session with a Mexican.
Attending a lemon party.
Being at the center of a golden shower.
Being politically correct all the time.
Black on black violence.
Black-on-Black violence.
Booking a flight just for the anal cavity search.
Brangelina.
Cankles.
Chicks with dicks.
Creationism.
Cutting in line at the local glory hole.
Cyber bullying.
Cyberbullying.
Dieing a virgin.
Doing taxes while jerking off.
Drinking the tears of cancer patients.
Driving around schools in a black windowless van.
Dry humping a pillow while listening to Sting.
Dry-humping a pillow while listening to Sting.
Dying a virgin.
Erotic karaoke.
Euthanizing old people.
Feeding Munchkins to a Great White shark.
Feeding Munchkins to a great white shark.
Forgiving my parents for the sexual abuse.
Forgiving parents for sexual abuse.
Getting an enema just for fun.
Getting eaten alive by puppies.
Giving out free hand jobs at the homeless shelter.
Glorious leader Kim Jong-un riding Godzilla.
Grannies gone wild.
Having an uncontrollable orgasm while talking to animals.
Having sexual thoughts about that hot cousin.
Hearing my parents have sex through the ceiling.
His Holiness, the intergalactic space lord Xenu.
Holocaust denial.
Hysterically laughing at poor people.
Inappropriately touching a dead body.
Infected nipples.
Interracial gay porn.
James Spader staring right into your soul.
Jar Jar Binks being all clumsy and shit.
John Travolta putting on his toupee.
Joining ISIS for the adventure.
Kicking kittens when nobody's watching.
Liberal propaganda.
Literally taking candy from a baby.
Living out loud and proud.
Mark Wahlberg's rap career.
Matt Damon's beady eyes.
Mother's buxom bosom.
Mother's buxom bosoms.
My burqa fetish.
My lack of humanity.
No respect for personal space.
Oiled-up bodybuilders wearing nothing but thongs.
Oiled up bodybuilders wearing only a thong.
Pale Irish people.
Pale, red-headed, Irish people.
Paying your fair share.
People that consider themselves Pastafarians.
Posting on Facebook while sitting on the toilet.
Power Puff Girls® cosplay.
Powerpuff Girls™ cosplay.
Pretending to care about third world problems
Pro slavery activists.
Pro-slavery activists.
Rednecks with to much mascara on.
Rednecks with too much mascara on.
Referring to black people as darkies.
Robert De Niro doing a poor impression of himself.
Robin Williams' ghost.
Ruined childhood dreams.
Sacrificing your first born to Satan.
Sacrificing your firstborn to Satan.
Seducing an annoyed hobo.
Seeing dead people.
Selling your virginity for $19.99.
Sloppily French kissing my hand.
Sloppily French kissing my own hand.
Someone who mildly resembles John Cusack.
Sub-Saharan cannibals.
Swallowing a grown man whole.
Switching bodies with mom for a day.
The AIDS Bunny.
The average American.
The Boston bombers.
The Chippendales®.
The Confederate flag.
The current Card Czar.
The guy that all trainers hate.
The Hollywood elite.
The Illuminati.
The LGBT community.
The Manson family.
The Most Interesting Man in the World®.
The Most Interesting Man in the World©.
The obligatory black guy.
The realest nigga ever.
The souls of children that died to young.
The souls of children that died too young.
The Third Reich 2.0.
The voices in my head.
TIMMEH!!!
Trigger happy cops.
Trigger-happy cops.
Turning straight men gay.
Twitter stalking.
Uncle Fester.
Unisex children.
Visible-Man, the most useless superhero of them all.
Vladimir Putin riding a bear.
Wearing gym shorts several sizes to small to accentuate the bulge.
Wearing gym shorts several sizes too small to accentuate the bulge.
White guilt.
Wiggers.
Winning the Eurovision Song Contest® three times in a row.
Winning the Eurovision Song Contest three times in a row.
Cats Abiding Horribly Bonus Cards 2
Each set of Cats Abiding Horribly includes a card with instructions to download a set of bonus cards. These are those cards.
Damn it feels good to be ______.

After reading Stephen Hawking's latest theory of ______ I curled up into a corner and cried for three days straight.
Whenever I feel lonely, I put on some Barry White, dress up like _____ and dance seductively in front of the mirror.
Give me liberty or give me ______.
Before Marilyn Monroe came along, Hugh Hefner wanted ______ as the first Playboy centerfold. Unfortunately for everyone, th
fell through.
The white male patriarchy.
The Founding Fathers.
Everyone getting a trophy.
Warmongering.
Accidental anal.
Charlie Foxtrot
https://www.amazon.com/Charlie-Foxtrot-Military-Question-Response/dp/B01KQXPR3A/
A US Army themed expansion.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on June 22, 2016 raising $1,085 with 34 backers. Released on September 19, 2016.
_________ hit me right in the feels.

_________ is the reason for my pass request.
_________ is the reason we constantly have safety briefs.
_________ is what Basic Training is all about.
_________ led me to receive an Article 15.
_________ this weekend is going to really piss off Sarge.
_________ was the strangest thing I've seen in the US military.
_________: The truth about Benghazi.
_________. It's finger lickin' good!
Based on my experience, this could easily be fixed by _________.
Cluster bombing from B-52s is very, very accurate. The bombs always hit _________.
Coming this holiday season, Metal Gear Solid: _________.
Dear Congress, before cutting the military budget, you might want to think about ________.
First there was a war on drugs, then a war on terrorism, what we really need is a war on _________.
How do commissioned officers view NCOs?
I came here to fuck or fight, and I don't see _________.
I enjoy _________ in the barrack's restrooms.
I love _________ the most at Fort Bragg.
I spent my day off in Iraq _________.
I'll trade you the Skittles in my MRE in exchange for _________.
In the gas chamber, it feels like _________.
It's hard to stand at parade rest when you're _________.
It's simple: we kill: _________.
Mr. President the situation is worse than we thought. We're going to DEFCON _________.
Nobody puts _________ in the corner.
Please forgive me, Lord, but when I get home from deployment, I'm _________.
Staff Sergeant, this weekend I really fucked up by _________.
Thank God for alcohol and _________.
That's the most fun I've ever had without _________.
The Army says _________ is not allowed but there's no rule against how fast you can wash your penis.
The best definition of the USAF is _________.
The best recruitment method to date is _________.
The best thing about being a female soldier is _________.
The biggest lie my recruiter told me was __________.
The few, the proud, _________.
The ones who hate war the most are the ones who _________.
The Sergeant Major of the Marine Corps caught me _________ in my barracks room.
The worst thing about the US military is __________.
This one time in Basic, I was caught _________.
USAF has changed their motto to read: _________.
Waterboarding is _________.
We were losing the battle, until our reinforcements brought _________ to the battlefield.
What best describes the feeling of getting your DD214?
What did I try to sneak into Fort Leavenworth?
What do warrant officers actually do?
What does it mean to be an NCO?
What funny lies did you tell Afghans when you were deployed?
What is the greatest thing you have heard a drill instructor say?
What was found in Iraq after the latest UN visit?
What was the best advice you got in basic training?
What was the dumbest thing you bought with your signing bonus?
What would our forefathers think of today's military?
What's going on with your female servicemembers?
While standing in battalion formation, I often think about _________.
Whoever said "time cures all wounds" has clearly never experienced _________.
Why did my spouse divorce me?
Why did the Military Police pull me over?
Why is my sex life non-existent.
Why is the CO's wife such a cunt?
Why was a SHARP complaint filed on me?
Why was your commander court-martialed?
Why would I want _________ stuffed down my throat?
WWCND: What would Chuck Norris do?
You can have _________ when you pry it from my cold, dead hands!
You might be a veteran if you consider _________ a good time.
$2 beer pitcher night at the base bowling alley.

16 years of service and my pay still sucks.
A barracks bunny.
A bitchy, stuck-up officer's wife.
A bunker fart that is way louder than expected.
A dangerous mistake to make.
A Dependapotamus.
A dirty fucking Jody.
A dishonorably discharged Army Reservists.
A Drill Sergeant without a combat patch.
A fart so rancid it could clear a mess hall.
A fat chick in the infantry barracks.
A flock of aggressive, horny bald eagles.
A freedom boner.
A gang of E4s.
A hefty spoonful of man the fuck up!
A massive muffin top.
A needy girlfriend who always asks if there is a military discount.
A night of beer, blonde jokes, and genital mutilation.
A Platoon Sergeant claiming 38 soldiers on his tax return.
A private showing up to drill with two left boots, in different colors.
A PVT tangled in C-Wire.
A return without honor.
A shit-ton of booze from the Class VI store.
A squad of Marines breaking down the front door.
A VA hospital.
A vengeful but loving God.
A verbally abusive Platoon Sergeant.
A whole, hearty cup of shut the fuck up!
Abortions for some, miniature American flags for others.
Abusing your rank privileges.
Accidentally punching yourself in the nuts.
Accidentally sending a dick pic to your SGT.
Accidentally taking a Valium before heading into combat.
Amputee porn.
An arms dealer with no arms.
An E4 using a hoverboard while on cleaning detail.
An erection lasting longer than 12 hours.
An iPod filled with porn.
Army wives.
Barracks fist fights.
Battle-hardened grannies.
Be all you can be, unless you're gay.
Beating the living shit out of protesting flag burners.
Being an E4 for 8 years.
Being back-to-back World War Champions!
Being better than every other nation in the fucking world.
Being deployed for so long the sheep start looking attractive.
Being on hold with the VA office for 3 hours.
Being operator as fuck!
Blacking out and causing some serious fucking damage.
Blowing shit up for the laugh.
Blowing your entire paycheck on electronics from the PX.
Brexit.
Brian Williams enlisting in the service.
Bringing a penis to a sword fight.
Calling a Senior NCO "Sir."
Camel spiders.
Carl of Duty.
Changing your beneficiary so your spouse won't get shit.
Chemical castration.
Civilians dead set on bringing down ISIS.
Cleaning the latrine with your toothbrush.
Cleaning your kitchen with a gun.
Collecting exhaust samples.
Communist bastards.
Conduct unbecoming of an officer.
Cranking it in the portashitter.
Cruising in your Black Cadillacs.
Daisy-pulling hippies.
Dancing in the middle of a circle of Marines.
Dating someone within 30 miles of the base.
Deploying to Bum Fuck Egypt.
Driving a tank through a busy playground.
Every inch of my love, supplied by my M9 pistol.
Everyone having the same shitty haircut.
Exercising the "don't ask, don't tell" policy.
Faking an injury to get out of PT.
Farting non-stop.
Fat shaming obese soldiers.
Five barrels of frothy, thick crude oil.
Flying on the wing of the plane, old school style.
Fobbits.
Foreign civilians who don't speak English.
Forever regretting the day you told your Platoon Sergeant you didn't have anything to do.
Forgetting to rig the parachute on a M1151 and watching it crash into flames from the sky.
Freshly commissioned Butterbars who think they are hot shit.
Fucking up so bad you had to mop up the rain.
Getting a really, really shitty tattoo.
Getting catfished through Tinder.
Getting divorced, while deployed, via email, on Valentine's Day.
Getting excited to line up nut to butt.
Getting off inches above a pile of collective shit from over 100 men.
Getting really excited for a zombie apocalypse.
Getting stoned, in the Biblical sense.
Giving out Trojan Magnums to Afghan locals and telling them they are the smallest size in America.
Giving war a chance.
Goat Fuckers.
God bless America.
Going "Full Retard."
Going apeshit waiting to begin your leave block.
Going into maximum overdrive.
Going to classes that teach you rape is bad.
Growing a mustache to fit in.
Grunt Life.
Hand lotion. Lots and lots of hand lotion.
Hand-to-gland combat.
Hanging out with Saddam.
Having an orgy in a Porta-Potty during a very hot summer day on Iraqi soil.
Hemorrhoids the size of clementines.
Hiding in a dumpster to get out of morning PT.
Hitler's lost art school acceptance letter.
Hot all consuming fire.
Hours of mindless boredom combined with a room full of testosterone.
Innocent pure love.
Insulting morbidly obese people to make them chase you, then laughing when they suddenly pass out.
JodyMingle.com
Kilroy. Mother Fucking Kilroy.
Learning to cope with thoughts of death and uncertainty.
Liberals.
Making fun of the Air Force.
Masturbating while on duty.
Mexican food so authentic that Trump would build a wall around it.
Misunderstanding a speech and starting a genocide.
MRE Date Night.
MURICA!
My girlfriend, whose husband is fighting for your freedom.
My sexual attraction to mashed potatoes.
Nancies.
NCO neglect.
Needing a wheelbarrow to cart around your massive testicles.
Nobody caring that you are airborne qualified.
Officers who make the simplest shit hard AF.
Painting racing stripes on the new tank.
Passing out at the mere thought of live fire.
PCSing to an even bigger shithole than the one where you are currently stationed.
Positive pregnancy tests for sale in Fort Bragg.
Powerlifting to the Backstreet Boys.
PowerPoint Rangers.
Pretending to be a dragon.
Private Handler.
Reenacting Cvil War battles with "Black Lives Matter" activists.
Referring to the Marine Corps Ball as prom.
Replacing the soap in the bathroom dispenser with human semen.
Replacing the term "Battle Buddy" with "Warrior Companion."
Roid Rage.
Settling disputes over the South China Sea with a heated game of tiddlywinks.
Settling for Pepsi, when you really wanted cocaine.
Several Fleshlights.
Sheep a.k.a ISIS sex slaves.
Shitting out 3 days of MRES.
Shut your mouth and get in line!
Spiking the punch at a company-sponsored picnic.
Stabbing yourself to hit on the hot nurse at the field hospital.
Stealing a rival company's guidon.
Stolen valor around the holiday season.
Stomping out a crotch fire.
Strangling a hooker with a PT belt.
Suicide Awareness Training.
Taking a date to the PX food court in a sad attempt to get laid.
Taking a shit while you are being observed during a drug test.
Taking commands from the Situation Room.
Tattooing a rank to your body.
That one friend in your group who isn't quite right in the head.
The 1st SGT straight lifting you!
The ability known as "retardation."
The Battle of the Bulge.
The face when you make when PTSD is triggering.
The knife hand.
The many uses of PT belts.
The new generation of sissy bitches.
The notion that greed is good.
The payday loan shop right outside of base.
The Sergeant Major's 15-year-old daughter with massive tits.
The sexual thrill of terrorism.
The sneaking suspicion you're in the wrong place.
The sound of motherfucking FREEDOM!
The Soviet gulag.
Those pussies that don't eat bacon.
Threatening to skull fuck a new recruit.
Three cans of chew and six 24 oz. energy drinks.
Throwing hundreds of thousands of dollars at simple problems.
Training soldiers not to marry prostitutes in an attempt to lower divorce rates.
Two bottles of whiskey and a key to the armory.
Unraveling 550 reels to look busy for a significant amount of time.
Unrelenting drone attacks for freedom.
Using a prosthetic limb as a weapon during the drunken brawl.
Using a reflective PT belt to tuck in your boner.
Using an insurgent to fill a pothole.
Using castration as a form of birth control.
Using every part of the animal.
Using the Grindr app as a method to find recruits.
Using your boner as a compass.
Using your GI Bill to pay for culinary school.
Vets who don't give a shit.
Walking around without a PT belt.
Way too much hummus.
Wearing your BDUs in public in order to get things for free.
Willy Wonka's war crimes against America.
Wishing the South has won the war.
Women in the Infantry.
Woodrow "Woody" Wilson, America's Woodiest President.
Yelling "CONTACT" as you empty a full magazine.
YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!!
Your brother impregnating your wife while you are deployed.

http://www.apostrophegames.com/
______ fun for the whole family!

A genie granted me three wishes, but I wasted them all trying to wish for ______.
All I want for my birthday is ______.
Always a bridesmaid, never ______.
An apple a day keeps ______ away.
At the next home game, the first 1,000 attendees will get commerorative ______ bobble head.
Eat, sleep, ______, repeat.
How did I lose my car keys this time?
I got so drunk last night that I ended up making out with ______.
I thought I was ______, but it turns out I was ______.
I thought passing a kidney stone was painful, but ______ is way worse.
I used to watch porn. But now I watch ______.
If ______ isn't supposed to go in the microwave, why does it fit?
If I had a super power, it would be ______.
If the stars align, this will be a good month for ______.
In addition to breakfast, McDonalds now serves ______ all day.
It might be the bath salts talking, but I love ______.
Men are from Mars. Woman are from ______.
Mexico will never pay for a wall, but it will pay for ______.
Milk, milk, lemonade, around the corner ______ is made.
My problem is that I can't get enough of ______.
Next month, Apple is introducing the new i______.
No matter how many times I shower, I'll never be able to get rid of the stench of ______.
No shirt, no shoes, no ______.
North Korea will achieve global domination with ______.
Now, I an't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't messin' with no ______.
Obama... Half black, half white, all ______.
Pixar's next movie is Finding ______
The fire alarm didn't wake me, but ______ sure did.
The first settlers on Mars will need to bring a whole lot of ______
The Juice is loose. And by Juice I mean ______.
The next Super Bowl will have a surprise performance by ______.
There are two types of people in the world. People who are ______, and people who aren't.
This is the wettest I've been since having ______.
When life hands you lemons, make ______.
When the blacklight came on, you could see there was ______ everywhere.
Why am I taking Ambien?
Why does Batman really hate Superman?
20 pieces of sweet Chicken McNugget goodness.

3D printed sex toys.
A 10 pount jar of ointment.
A boner in tight pants.
A brother from another mother.
A butter face.
A creamy discharge.
A dump on the floor.
A fat kid going to town on an entire birthday cake.
A frozen banana.
A full face transplant.
A furry convention.
A game of Operation, but on real people.
A gluten free nightmare.
A hobo punching a pigeon out of midair.
A hot chocolate surprise.
A human pinata.
A juice cleanse gone horribly wrong.
A loose butthole.
A nun with a drinking problem.
A paradox in which future you travels back in time to tell present-day you that no one gives a shit about paradoxes.
A plate full of SPAM.
A pop culture reference no one understands.
A racist-themed costume party.
A robit who joins together with other robots to form one mega robot.
A self-driving car with an attitude problem.
A shitty FICO score.
A shotgun blast to the dick.
A silent orgasm.
A sopping wet vagine.
A stripper jumping out of a cake.
A swanky Motel 6.
A Taser to the face.
A tongue in the butt.
A used diaper filled with Indian food.
A vibrating toothbrush.
A warehouse full of blow up sex dolls.
A warm watermelon with a hole cut in it.
A whale's vagina.
Am man crush.
Amazon drones.
An Alabama hot pocket.
An insanity plea.
An unfathomable fear of midgets.
Babies born addicted to prescription pain meds.
Being balls to the wall horny.
Benjamin Button disease.
Bill Cosby, before we knew what a monster he is.
Born again virgins.
Breaking up through text.
Bringing sexy back.
Bruce Willis being dead the whole movie.
Buttsex.
Caitlyn Jenner.
Cheetos fingers.
Clown makeup that won't come off.
Clowns that are afraid of children.
Constantly being asked, "Is it in yet?"
Convincing Asians you're a celebrity.
Couples who color coordinate outfits.
DJ Finger Blast.
Fat shaming that ugly person you see in the mirror each day.
Feces.
Female circumcision.
Fetish porn so obscure you can't even find it online.
Flo from Progressive.
Food porn.
Gender neutral bathrooms.
Getting caught up in the moment and forgetting to pull out.
Getting turned on for all the wrong reasons.
Going number two when you meant to go number one.
Going to pound town.
Grandma's oit briwbues.
Hand stuff.
Having another kid make up for the crushing disappointment of the first one.
Having multiple personalities and none of them are any fun.
Imaginary friends.
Jell-O shots without the Jell-O.
John Stamos's ageless good looks.
Luring children into a van with promises of Candy.
Masturbating like a teenager with a fast internet connection.
Mexican friends.
Mutherfucking Deadpool!
My preciousssssss!
Not knowing if you have a small penis or just really gigantic balls.
Nothing but side boob.
Old age creeping up on you until your inevitable death.
Old Playboy magazines with the pages stuck together.
Paying someone to pee on you.
Pokemon Go.
Poop stains. Nothing but poop stains everywhere.
Pretentious food trucks.
Public hair growing out of control.
Racist Emojis.
Ribbed for her pleasure.
Romantic acronyms like DTF and ATM.
Semen residue.
Shaquille O'Neal throwing barrels at Super Mario.
Someone who literally got stuck inside the Internet.
Tea bagging.
THe largest butt plug you've ever seen.
Those Goddamn 'Keep Calm and Carry On' t-shirts.
Those jackasses pretending to hold up a Leaning Tower of Pisa in their vacation photo.
Tramp stamps.
Truffle butter.
Untreatable STDs.
Vaginal rejuvenation.
Waking up without your dignity.
Walking in on your parents having sex and not hating it.
Who gives a shit?
Your mom's new boyfriend.
Zero Facebook friends.
Cocks Abreast Hostility: Cock Pack One: Just The Tip

http://cocksabreasthostility.com/
Created by Redditor darth_vexos
______ gave me AIDS.

______ has taken more lives than Hitler and smoking combined.
______ is considered a compliment in most of Europe.
______ made my moneyshot twice as powerful.
______, or as I like to call it, ______.
______: Not just for kids anymore!
______: the national sport of Africa.
Before attempting anal for the first time, I've been told it's best to start with ______.
Dan Brown's latest novel explores the hidden symbolic meaning behind ______.
Hitler did nothing wrong; abortions should be legal for gay babies; Bush wasn't a bad president; and now I'll read the card: wha
masturbate to before I got here?
I'm a dirty, dirty girl. Nothing gets me going like ______.
I'm not a racist, but I love ______.
I'm not usually one for eating contests, but when I found out it was for ______, I just couldn't help myself.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try, try ______.
It may be totally unconventional and shunned by society in general, but when you come right down to it, ______ is the best pu
I've ever made.
Loosely translated, my name means ______ in Japanese.
My proctologist was quite impressed when he saw ______ on my x-rays.
Nothing says, "I trust you," like ______.
Thanksgiving dinner was forever changed when my dad brought up ______.

The ______ Spangled Banner.
Uber's latest service combines the convenience of ______ with the luxury of ______.
What is the short version of why I'm not allowed to go back to Australia?
While writing my wedding vows, I often looked to ______ for inspiration.
You had me at ______.
You say potato, I say ______.
[Chewbacca Noise].
/Piss Christ/.
8=======D
A cemetrery for only gay pets.
A Fleshlight® full of used needles.
A home DNA paternity test.
A Kenyan who wins a marathon without training.
A micropenis so small, it forced the Planck length to be redefined by several orders of magnitude.
A room that smells like Fabreeze® and semen... but mostly semen.
A Seth MacFarlane gag lasting for 17 minutes.
A sexually aroused dyslexic who spreads peanut butter on his dog's balls.
Abstinence-only education.
Accidentally sexting my mom.
Alarmist headlines about Hilary Clinton on the /Drudge Report/.
An anniversary gift from the 9/11 Museum Gift Shop.
Ann Coulter's far right-leaning dildo.
Arriving at the gangbang 15 minutes late, yet somehow still coming too early.
Asian pirate ships with predictably short planks.
Baconnaise®: the Bacon-Flavored Mayonnaise.
Bass to mouth.
Beef curtains.
Being able to tell, with absolute certainty, the actual size of any penis just by sitting on it.
Being physically unable to stop sucking dicks.
Being required by federal law to introduce yourself to your neighbors.
Benghazi: 9/11, Part II.
Blowing the cat.
Blowing up buildings to prove a point and go to Heaven for the single worst orgy of all time.
Blue Waffle.
Chairman Meow, the People's Cat.
Cheese in a spray can.
CuntFucker9000®--for all 9000 of your cunt fucking needs.
Cutting off your genitalia and mailing it to your celebrity crush.
Dear Leader, Slim Dong-Un.
Digging up Heath Ledger and playing with his dick.
Disregarding females and acquiring currency.
Dressing up in a leather Boy Scout uniform.
Ending women's suffrage because they've been through enough.
Explaining to your date why her pasta tastes like Rohypnol.
Fair Trade goods without the fairness.
Filipinos, or as I like to call them, Sea-Mexicans.
Fisting the dog.
Getting fired from the fertility clinic for biting a lemon, licking some salt, lining up ten cups of semen and downing them all like a
champ.
Getting your dick caught in someone else's zipper.
Giving Hotel Rwanda a 1-star review on TripAdvisor®.
Giving it to Nanking because, in your opinion, it was totally asking for it.
Having to transfer to a different diocese because, apparently, filling the youth group with "the holy spirit" isn't something that is
interpretation.
Hitler fanfiction.
Iggy Azalea's appropriation of black cultre.
Inappropriate eye contact in a threesome.
Invading Poland.
Jackin' it in San Diego.
Jerking off to Coldplay.
Jerking off to the "before" picture in weight-loss commericals.
Jizz-flavored coffee.
Lasers and shit.
Learning Klingon instead of going to parties and getting laid.
Leaving this game to get a cheeseburger because this is AMERICA, GODDAMMIT.
Literally eating a dick.
Lying repeatedly to people with Alzheimer's for profit.
Magneto's "other" purple helmet.
Malaysian Airlines flight 370.
Mandatory gay marriage.
Mentos® and cocaine.
MRSA: the gift that keeps on giving.
Oedipus: the first motherfucker.
Premature ejacul.
Presenting at the shareholder meeting in blackface.
Putting my dick through the /Mona Lisa/.
Queef Erikson.
Reverse gentrification.
Running into your parents at a swingers' club.
Santorum: a frothy mixture of semen and fecal matter.
Shamelessly being the little spoon.
Shitlords.
Slapping your dick on a parking meter in lieu of depositing change.
Standing your ground at the Million Man March.
Sucking menstrual fluid out with a straw.
The Axis getting it Reich next time.
The heavy burden of breaking 72 angelic hymens in a row.
The Iranian gonorrhea that killed my grandfather.
The ISIS Bucket Challenge.
The self satisfaction that can only come with pooping twice in one day.
The vas deferens.
Thinking the ratio of Judeo-Christian jokes to Muslim jokes is a bit high.
Third world abortion clinics.
Thirty-ninth trimester abortions.
Those assholes who carry their assault rifles with them everywhere.
Titty fucking a nun.
Treating your 9-year-old to a 5-star hotel in Bangkok.
Unaccredited cosmetology schools.
Using food for dildos.
Vaginal discharge that smells like a fresh reuben sandwich.
Walking to the front of the classroom while trying to conceal a throbbing erection.
Watermelon and collard greens.
Weaponized gonorrhea.
Whatever semen tastes like... because I don't know. Really, stop asking.
Whiskey dick.
Withholding the cure for AIDS.
YOLO.
Your whore mouth.
Cols Despite Kentucky

http://www.kyforky.com/shop/misc/cols-despite-ky-lexington-cards-against-humanity-expansion/
Created by Redditor asiansteev
A fan that is very large.

A four-times married Rowan County Clerk.
A horse riding a cop.
A puppy that I stole from the Lexington Humane Society.
A really nice mural that we had there once.
A shot of bourbon and an ice-cold bottle of Ale-8 One.
A Willy Wonka style tour through the JIF plant.
All y'all.
Burning couches and getting rowdy.
Dan Wu's kimchi meatloaf.
Eating a hot brown but still being kinda hungry.
Knowing what I mean, Vern.
Literally bleeding blue due to methemoglobinemia.
Lovable troublemaker, Henry Earl.
Mitch McConnell racing an overconfident hare.
Muhammad Ali at the age that he is right now.
My uncle that works at Lexmark.
The confusing sounds of WRFL.
Cows Against Hamburgers - Patty Pack #1
https://www.amazon.com/Cows-Against-Hamburgers-Unofficial-Expansion/dp/B01N02V6GH
_____ happens because I touch myself at night.

_____. A woman's best friend.
_____. The reason I cry myself to sleep at night.
_____. You complete me.
3 things that improve with age. 1. Men 2. Wine 3. _____
Acid trips always start with _____ & end with _____.
Ain't no sunshine when she's _____.
Autopsy results show his penis was severed by _____.
Congress declared Marshall law because of _____ & _____.
Donald Trump eats _____ for breakfast.
Hey little girl. What's that in your hand?
How does one win the heart of a beautiful woman?
I fill my butt with _____ for storage purposes.
I was forced to resign when the pictures of _____ surfaced.
I'm a glass half full of _____ kind of person.
I'm getting to old for _____.
Kanye West attributes his genius to _____.
Please keep hands, feet and _____ inside the vehicle at all times.
Step 1. _____ Step 2. _____ Step 3. Party
The CDC says the outbreak was due to _____.
The yellow brick road actually leads to _____.
There is only one way to handle this ISIS situation _____.
They may take our lives, but they will never take our _____.
What do Kim Jong-Un, Putin and Trump all have in common?
What happened to my bed sheets?
What is missing from my sex life?
What's the difference between me and you? You have you shit together and I like _____.
Who or what is my spirit animal?
Why haven't I gotten laid recently?
Why so serious? _____. That’s why.
A baby pigeon.
A bromance that took a gay turn.
A deranged psychopath.
A grandma fixing sandwiches.
A gym teacher's wet socks.
A little boy's first boner.
A Megyn Kelly sex tape.
A micro vagina.
A sandy…sandy… vagina
All the dick pics.
An erotic cat meme.
An honest mistake.
An unenthusiastic H.J. behind the bleachers.
Basic bitches.
Being chased by wild geese.
Being stuck in a glass case of emotion.
Being very "un-dude"
Bejeweling your penis.
Bisexual robots.
Blind watchdogs.
Burger porn.
Caitlyn Jenner.
Cleaning the pipes like Mario.
Clown poop.
Dirk Diggler's gigantic penis.
Donald Trump's tiny hands.
Drones equipped with hot dog lasers.
Eating cocaine for breakfast.
Eating copious amounts of pineapple for sex purposes.
Elizabeth Warren's vibrator.
Elon Musk.
Finger blasting.
Fox news anchors.
Fuck you.
Getting a B.J. from John Snow.
Getting humped by a vicious Chihuahua.
Getting pegged for the first time.
Going back to Whore Island.
Good old fashion road head.
Grade "A" top choice meat.
Happiness in the form of Netflix and fellatio.
Hate fucking your enemies.
Instagram hoes.
Jared Leto's search history.
Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
Just the tip………..and the rest of the penis.
Kim Jong Un when he hasn't had his nap yet.
Korean ladyboys.
Kylie Jenner's lips.
Listening to a vegan explain why they are in fact vegan.
Loose skin.
Miley Cyrus behaving rationally.
Milking the cow.
Mistakingly peeking through a truck stop glory hole.
My left testicle.
Never nude orgies.
No chill.
Penis breath.
Pinocchio's dick.
Playing gay chicken.
Restless leg syndrome.
Scolding other peoples children.
Sharting & acting like it was a normal fart. Then waiting the appropriate amount of time before using the restroom to verify the
Shoveling actual shit for a living.
Shut up.
Sour breast milk.
Sriracha baths.
Sticking a chili pepper where no chili pepper should ever be stuck.
Sweating out of everywhere. All the time. Forever.
Sweet pickles.
Taxing that ass like the IRS.
Telling Jack she'll never let go and then letting go anyways like a total bitch. There was room on that f*@king door for the both
Rose. For the both of you.
The benefits of global warming.
The glue holding Trumps hair in place.
Trick or treating at Bill Cosby's house.
Unquenchable thirst for sperm.
Watching someone Whip/Nae Nae.
When Aunt Flo comes to town.
Winona Ryder's acting career.
Zero fucks.

http://www.crabsadjusthumidity.com/
______: Just sayin'.
______: not even once.
A wild ______ appears!
You used ______! It's super effective!

According to a new UN treaty, ______ now qualifies as a weapon of mass destruction.
Ever since "the incident," every time I close my eyes, I still see ______.
Gentleman, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you here this evening.
It's a long story, but it all began with ______.
How did I get this restraining order?

How did I hurt my back?
How did my grandparents make it through the Great Depression?
I am become ______, the destroyer of worlds.
I was once sent to the HR department for an incident involving ______, ______, and (allegedly) ______.
I'm gonna go build my own theme park! With ______! And ______!
I'm so hungry, I could eat ______.
If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on ______--forever.
In a move that has Hollywood insiders baffled, the producers of American Idol have decided to replace host Ryan Seacrest wit
In my opinion, ______ is grounds for justifiable homicide.

It took seven years in a remote Tibetan monastery, but I finally learned the art of ______.
Like Midas reborn, everything she touches turns to ______.
Oh my God!
They killed ______!
You bastards!
PornHub.com's single most popular video features ______ and ______.
So then he says, "If you want to make this relationship work, you need to give up ______ and ______."
As. If.
Thanks to ______, I now have a crippling fear of ______.
The best part of waking up is ______.
The last three items on my "bucket list":
Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: ______, ______, and, (most importantly) ______.
Tonight on "My Super Sweet 16," Stephani's parents give her ______.
Tonight on "Supernatural," Sam and Dean are forced to confront ______ using only ______.
What do we want? ______!
When do we want it? Now!
What was one of the rejected flavors for Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans™?
When I'm dating somebody, I can overlook ______ and ______, but ______ is a deal-breaker.
Why won't they let me in Chuck E. Cheese's® anymore?
William Shatner's shocking new autobiography is titled "______: The Final Frontier."
A $50 cup of coffee literally made from cat shit.

A beard longer than 12 inches.
A four-inch clit.
A hamster with a throbbing erection.
A mazel tov cocktail.
A nugget of poo roughly the size and shape of a crouton.
A prehensile penis.
A sexually aggressive koala.
A shockingly flatulent bobcat.
A strong, independent woman who don't need no man.
A tossed salad.
Affirmative action.
An asexual bonobo.
An entire bottle of Jaä germeister®.
An extra-large can of Bone Bashful™ brand Chinchilla Pudding Sauce.
An Oosik, or Inuit war club made from the penis bone of a walrus.
An overly-enthusiastic prostate exam.
An unsurprising rash.
Axl Rose.
Bacne.
Bacon that can feel pain.
Bacon-flavored lube.
Being born with a tail.
Being kicked in the ovaries.
Being punk in drublic.
Being raped to sleep by dickwolves.
Belching out the lyrics to "Hey Jude."
Bono.
Just... Bono.
Bronies.
Cockasaurus rex: the horniest dinosaur of them all.
Cocktimus Prime: the laser-guided dildo rocket.
Costco® food samples.
Death by snu-snu.
Droppin' the mic.
Enrolling in clown school.
Erotic balloon animals.
Explaining how I got the nickname "Nibbleberries."
Ezekiel 23:20
"There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses
Flop sweat.
Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
Giving Anne Frank a drum kit for her birthday.
Giving the tumor a cutesy name.
Googling "Betty White nude."
Grandma's wet, sloppy kisses.
Honey Boo Boo shotgunning a 2-litre bottle of "go-go juice."
Insisting that Jesus is technically a zombie.
JJ Abrams putting lens flares all over everything.
Joe Biden getting his freak on.
Joffrey Baratheon, the loathsome little shit.
LEGO® recreations of classic pornos.
Lego® recreations of famous porn scenes.
Logic.
Michele Bachmann furiously masturbating with a coathanger.
Mitt Romney doing a burlesque routine in a giant champagne glass.
Monkey torture.
My level 90 night elf, Leafshit Puddingsbane.

Natalie Portman naked, petrified, and covered in hot grits.
Officially no longer giving a shit.
Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit.
Posting on www.reddit.com/r/gonewild/
Pretending to be a malfunctioning robot.
Pretending to have the hiccups.
Pronouncing "quinoa" properly.
Racist ninjas.
Raptor Jesus.
Reluctant anal.
S'more Schnapps.
Selling out.
Sexy witches.
Slightly more than 3 ounces of cum.
Steaming hot lemonade.
Struggle snuggles.
That "not-so-fresh" feeling.
The combined fat from all of the Kardashian's liposuction procedures.
The combined fat from all the Kardashian family liposuctions.
The fabled Mongolian Death Worm.
The green apple splatters.
The Slender Man.
The TARDIS.
Touching each other's butts.
Thirty pieces of silver.
Using teeth.
Van Gogh's severed ear.
Weaponized ebola.
Wielding a toddler as a weapon.
WINNING!!
Yoga pants.

______ is many things to many people, as you will see and learn.
______: Evidence that this is the darkest timeline.
______: It even makes its own gravy!
______: My body is ready.

______: The struggle is real.
______: Wake up sheeple!

"______ Spice" was one of the lesser-known Spice Girls.
And behold, the fifth seal opened, and there was ______ and with it came ______.
As a staunch libertarian, I believe the only role for government is ______.

Baby I'm ______ on the streets, ______ in the sheets.
Code Three, request backup!
I'm surrounded by ______!

Could a brother get ______ up in this bitch?
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey...
Give me Fifty Shades of ______!
I never karaoke, because I always end up getting drunk and singing a song about ______.
I'm constantly confusing ______ and ______.
I'm finally writing that book, it's titled "Zen and the Art of ______."
Instructions unclear: dick stuck in ______.
It's all about ______ - no ______.
Let it go!
Let it go!
______ never bothered me anyway...

My therapist says I have an unhealthy attitude about ______.
Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of ______ and ______.
Thank you Alex, I'll take ______ for 800.

Turn down for what?
What really brings out the child in me?
What would you do for a Klondike® Bar?
Whatever else may change, one thing is certain: you can't unfuck ______.
When I was young, the only thing that kept me off the streets was ______.
Why do I need feminism?
Why is Jon Stewart really retiring?
Why so salty?
Yo bro, you tried ______?
Shit's straight fire.

You kids with your fancy degrees...
They don't teach ya' nothin' 'bout ______ in school.
A bag of doorknobs.
A bag of pickled socks.
A bucket of dicks.
A few sharp tugs.
A girl-child.
A lemon-stealing whore.
A meat tornado.
A miscarriage.
A nice boy who never did anyone any harm.
A pattern of defensive wounds.
A racist toddler.
A shallow grave.
A soggy biscuit.
A special snowflake.
A sternly-worded letter.
A tablespoon of thick, custardy puss.
A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.
A whole baby.
ALLAH HU AKBAR!
Alzheimer's.
An Amber Alert.
An asshole that tastes like vanilla ice cream.
Area 69.
Battle-tested period panties.
Being a size queen.
Being catfished.
Being judged not by the color of your skin, but by the content of your character.
Bill Cosby's chocolate pudding pop.
Booklearnin'.
Brojobs.
Crotchfruit.
Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women.
Diamond-studded tampons.
Dick nipples.
Dickbutt. [A chibi drawing of Dickbutt]
Doggy-style with a real doggy.
Doing the waffle stomp.
Freedom.
Getting White Girl Wasted.
Going potty.
Hillary Clinton's triumphant patriotic cock.
Hot singles in your area.
Iggy Azalea.
Irony.
It.
Kinky fuckery.
Me Lucky Charms®!
MORTAL KOMBAT™.
Nutella®.
One more fucking word.
Only traveling by rickshaw.
Poking it with a stick.
Quietly ovulating.
Santorum, everywhere.
Sharia law.
Shenanigans.
Shit-filled raviolis.
Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.
Sitting alone in the dark, listening to Drake.
Skanky Smurf.
Spelunking.
Stank dick.
Sugar and spice and everything nice.
The Cockpocalypse.
The difference between "good touch" and "bad touch."
The muffled cries of an Asian baby girl.
The poophole loophole.
The scientific method.
The sound of a toddler's skull cracking against the pavement.
The third trimester.
The wet spot.
The Yellow Dick Road.
These strange human urges.
This motherfucker right here.
Tinder™.
Type 2 diabetes.
Wink wink, nudge nudge!
You Know Who.
Your bourgeois morality.
Crazy & Horrible Rabbit - Vol. 1

https://www.amazon.com/Crazy-Horrible-Rabbit-Unofficial-Friendship/dp/B01L1RY1XW
_____ is many things to many people, as you will see and learn.
_____ Spice was one of the lesser-known Spice Girls.
_____: Evidence that this is the darkest timeline.
_____: It even makes it's own gravy!
_____: My body is ready.
_____: The struggle is real.
_____: Wake up sheeple!
And behold, the fifth seal opened, and there was _____ and with it came _____.
As a staunch libertarian, I believe the only role for government is _____.
Baby I'm _____ on the streets, _____ in the sheets.
Code Three, request backup! I'm surrounded by _____!
Could a brother get ___ up in this bitch?
Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of _____.
I never karaoke because I always end up getting drunk and singing a song about _____.
I'm constantly confusing _____ and _____.
I'm finally writing that book, it's titles "Zen and the Art of _____."
Instructions unclear: dick stuck in _____.
It's all about _____-no _____.
Let it go! Let it go! ______never bothered me anyway…
My Therapist says I have an unhealthy attitude about _____.
Next on Adult Swim: The adventures of _____ and _____.
Thank you Alex, I'll take _____ for 800.
Turn down for what?
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
Whatever else may change, one thing is certain: you can't unfuck _____.
When I was young, the only thing that kept me off the streets was _____.
Why do I need feminism?
Why is Jon Stewart really retiring?
Why so salty?
Yo bro, you tired _____? Shit's straight fire.
Your kids with your fancy degrees… They don't teach ya' nothing' 'bout _____ in school.
A bag of doorknobs.
A bag of pickled socks.
A bucket of dicks.
A few sharp tugs.
A girl-child.
A lemon-stealing whore.
A meat tornado.
A miscarriage.
A nice boy who never did anyone any harm.
A pattern of defensive wounds.
A racist toddler.
A shallow grave.
A soggy biscuit.
A special snowflake.
A sternly-worded letter.
A tablespoon of thick, custardy puss.
A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.
A whole baby.
ALLAH HU AKBAR!
Alzheimer's.
An Amber Alert.
An asshole that tastes like vanilla ice cream.
Area 69.
Battle-tested period panties.
Being a size queen.
Being catfished.
Being judged not by the color of your skin, but by the content of your character.
Bill Cosby's chocolate pudding pop.
Booklearnin'.
Brojobs.
Crotchfruit.
Crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women.
Diamond-studded tampons.
Dick nipples.
Dickbutt.
Doggy-style with a real doggy.
Doing the waffle stomp.
Freedom.
Getting White Girl Wasted.
Going potty.
Hillary Clinton's triumphant patriotic cock.
Hot singles in your area.
Iggy Azalea.
Irony.
It.
Kinky fuckery.
Me luck Charms!
MORTAL KOMBAT.
Nutella.
One more fucking word.
Only traveling by rickshaw.
Poking it with a stick.
Quietly ovulating.
Sharia law.
Shenanigans.
Shit-filled raviolis.
Shub-Niggurath, The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.
Sitting alone in the dark, listening to Drake.
Skanky Smurf.
Spelunking.
Stank Dick.
Sugar and spice and everything nice.
The cockpocalypse.
The difference between "good touch" and "bad touch."
The poophole loophole.
The sound of a toddler's skull cracking against the pavement.
The third trimester.
The wet spot.
The Yellow Dick Road.
These strange human urges.
This motherfucker right here.
Tinder.
Type 2 diabetes.
Wink wink, nudge nudge!
You Know Who.
Your bourgeois morality.

https://www.amazon.com/Crows-Adopt-Vulgarity-Adult-Party/dp/B01EKQCR5K
______ has become part of my daily routine.

______: Has science gone too far?
"______: The Movie!" Coming to theaters soon.
"This workplace has been 0 days without ______."
Ah, excuse me, waiter, I see that the restaurant offers ______. Is that gluten-free?
Anonymous's next target? ______.
At my father's funeral, I put ______ in the casket with him.
During his short-lived boxing career, the Messiah fought under the name Jesus "______" Christ.
Finding ______ in your bed the next morning.
I asked my boyfriend to surprise me for my birthday, I never thought he'd give me ______.
I couldn't find a condom, so I had to use ______ instead.
I couldn't help but give a buck to the homeless guy with the sign: "Will work for ______."
I discovered my son was gay when I found a magazine about ______ in his bedroom.
I get off to ______ everyday.
I have one simple request: ______.
I would learn Japanese specifically for ______.
I'm having difficulty finding a college that will allow me to pursue a degree in ______.
Making love to the person reading this card is like ______.
Nothing says true love quite like ______.
Oh no! ______! My only weakness!
Six Flags' new thrill ride lets you experience ______ at 120 miles per hour.
Taylor Swift's most recent boyfriend: ______.
That time you got drunk and accidentally told your boss about your ______ fetish.
The latest 20/20 episode: The War on ______.
We broke up after I found his stash of ______.
What killed Mister Rogers?
When you ask for a raise and get ______ instead.
When you have a great dream about ______, but realize you can't tell anyone.
When you're hammered AF and think ______ is a good idea.
You can only save the world with ______!
1.2 pounds of shit hitting a fan.

A 15-minute time-out in the Naughty Corner.
A bottle of orphan tears.
A sea lion engaged in a knife fight with a regular seal.
A small boy raping a priest.
A trail of rose pedals that leads to a sink full of dirty dishes.
A very intimate Scoutmaster.
A waterfall of period blood.
A white van full of puppies and candy.
Adopting stray toddlers.
Banging your doppleganger.
Barking and chasing a mailman as a full-grown adult.
Beating a hipster.
Becoming a cop to shoot black people for sport.
Being forever chased by your shadow.
Black lives matter.
Black meat.
Breaking your foot off in someone's ass.
Bursting out laughing during a sexual harassment seminar.
Catching your tit in the car door.
Clubbing a baby seal.
Directing your parents' sex tape.
Eating C4 because you want to go out with "a bang."
Explaining the rug burns on your 7-year-old daughter's forehead to the preacher.
Flying an RC plane into a tall person as "practice."
Fondling some balls.
Freeing all the animals at the pet store.
Getting a birthday card from your grandmother with no money inside.
Giving someone a "love tap" with your car at 90 mph.
Going into maximum overdrive.
Happy pills.
Hating gays because they're "weird" but liking lesbians because they're "sexy."
Having a little too much fun.
Having more hair on your balls that on your head.
Having more Oscars than Leonardo DiCaprio.
Having sloppy sex as your dog watches.
Holocaust: The Musical.
Huffing paint.
Jared's "footlong."
Just being, like, really fucking ugly.
JUST DO IT!
Justin Bieber's favorite burger joint.
Lacking a soul because you're a ginger.
Loud Spanish yelling.
Making eye contact with a stranger while eating a banana.
Making it rain on them hoes.
My big white van full of chloroformed children.
My Magnum™ condom.
Nuns with nice buns.
Old white men dancing to "Hotline Bling" by Drake.
Orphans genetically engineered to explode when loved.
Playing Jenga on 9/11.
Porkin' Miss Piggy.
Pre-teen girls that dress like whores.
Pretending you are a wizard all the time.
Pushing a double amputee down a flight of stairs.
Putting sperm in the soap dispenser.
Replacing someone's birth control pills with tic tacs®.
Riding with Ray Rice in an elevator.
Selling your baby during Black Friday.
Sex noises echoing from a tennis match.
Shot putting a 12-pound metal ball into a crowd and making it look like an accident.
Stimulating her economy.
Switching your diabetic friend's insulin with heroin.
Taking a joyride … through a playground.
Terabytes of porn.
That "O" face.
That awkward moment when you realize your three-way has no vagina.
That black guy that always dies first in the movies.
That chick I was really into in high school that now has two kids and a waistline the size of Idaho.
The crushing realization that your hopes and dreams are just that, and that real life is horrible.
The people of Walmart.
The terrifying sex moans of a deaf woman.
The thug life.
The wrong hole.
Three in the pink, two in the stink.
Using a middle school water fountain as a bidet.
Using a taser to make your child stop crying.
Using little children as human shields.
When you're blowing a guy and you realize he's a faggot.

http://www.guardsagainstinsanity.com/
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on May 21, 2015 raising £1,661 with 194 backers. Released on September 28, 2015.
This set is also included in the Asylum Pack, which was introduced with Edition 4.
_____. The breakfast of champions.

_____. The happiest place on earth.
_____. The taste of paradise.
All compromise is based on give and take. But there can be no give and take on _____.
And all because the lady loves _____.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be _____.
Don't try teaching your Grandma to _____.
During the sexual discrimination tribunal, I couldn't help noticing the female prosecutor's impressive _____.
Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% _____.
Here's a fact that might surprise you. _____ is caused by _____ and often leads to _____.
Hey kids! Did you know that combining _____ with _____ is great for relieving _____.
Holy crap?! I've just realized that my super-power causes _____ to _____.
How was the universe really created?
I managed to avoid _____, all thanks to _____.
I'm thankful to God for creating _____ that love the taste of _____.
If _____ is wrong, I don't want to be right.
It takes both _____ and _____ to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.
Last night, I used _____ as lube. It didn't end well.
My scared oath has sworn me to protect _____ from both _____ and _____.
Nature abhors _____.
No pain, no _____.
Nothing is certain but death and _____.
On my signal, unleash _____.
Statsically speaking, 9 out of 10 people enjoy _____.
Test subject 37 will be the world's most deadly predator thanks to successfully combining _____ with _____.
The problem with society today is _____ and their goddamn _____.
The true art of seduction lies in using _____ and _____ in a way that ensures _____.
There are two things I hate. Racism and _____.
They may take our lives, but they will never take our _____.
This ancient Egyptian scroll contains one of the fundamental truths of life: _____ cannot flourish without _____.
What was the last thing I Googled?
Why do I always feel tired?
A 28 week abortion.
A big black dildo.
A dirty protest.
A downward spiral into suicidal self-destruction.
A full load.
A generation of obese kids.
A lying sack of shit.
A moist, creamy vaginal secretion.
A tub of Vaseline.
Accidental incest.
An erection so hard that it hurts.
An unexpected donkey punch.
An unpleasant taste in my mouth.
Analingus.
Batting for both sides.
Because you touch yourself at night.
Beer goggles.
Being fingered by the Card Czar.
Being frigid.
Being hung like a horse.
Being sodomized.
Bow-Chicka-Bow-Wow.
Camel toe.
Chemical castration.
Chicks with dicks.
Clown porn.
Cock blocking your best friend.
Crying during sex.
Dead hookers.
Extremely sloppy seconds.
Fellatio.
Forced sterilization of the mentally retarded.
Forgetting the safe word.
Freezing to death on a park bench.
Fucking a girl so hard her nose bleeds.
Fucking people over to get ahead in life.
Gagging on your girlfriend's pubic floss.
Getting caught staring at your sister's rack.
Giving your girlfriend a Dutch oven.
God Damn Mother-Fucking Shitty Fucking Shit Fuckers.
God's wrath.
Going all the way
Going full retard.
Heather Mills McCartney.
Imagining terrible, terrible things in order to sustain your erection.
Josef Fritzl.
Manning the fuck up.
My cold, dead hands.
My purple headed womb broom.
My sister.
Never being able to look your dog in the eye again.
Never being able to un-see "Two Girls One Cup".
No strings attached casual sex.
Not taking a dump for 10 whole days.
Paying a hooker to knock your junk around.
Popping your cherry.
Premature ejaculation.
Rigor mortis.
Rinsing your cock in the bathroom sink to increase the chances of getting a blow job.
Sentimental bullshit.
Sharks with frickin' laser beams attached to their heads.
Sienna Miller.
Six million Jews.
Society.
Some serious soul-searching.
Spermicidal lube.
Tentatively slipping a finger into your partner's asshole.
That not-so-fresh feeling.
The ability to suck a golf ball through 40 feet of garden hose.
The voices inside my head.
The walk of shame.
Touching cloth.
Touching myself while listening to my parents having sex.
Twincest.
Two in the pink and one in the stink.
Unwanted sexual penetration.
Using the poophole loophole to keep your virginity.
Vulnerable women with low self-esteem.
Walking around with an undeserved sense of accomplishment.
When the bullshit that comes out of a person's mouth reaches a point of absolute nonsense.

Successfully funded on Kickstarter on December 3, 2016 raising £5,025 with 177 backers. Released January 18, 2017.
______. What's the worst that can happen?

Anyone who knows me knows that I love ______.
As a stripper, I have one rule: No ______.
Disabled children. They never say no to ______.
Due to George R.R. Martin's persistent writer's block, HBO is now developing a new fantasy epic: Game of ______.
FACT: ______ causes ______.
I feel the need. The need for ______.
I like my ______ how I like my ______: ______.
I miss the good old days when ______ could be done without ______.
I still can't get the taste of ______ out of my mouth.
I'm never going to be rich and famous because I'm too busy ______.
In hindsight, it seems obvious that ______ was never going to cure ______.
Is it OK that I sometimes fantasize about ______?
Make ______, not ______.
My therapist has uncovered repressed memories of ______ from my early childhood.
Please don’t get upset. I didn't mean for ______ to scare you.
Rape is never acceptable, especially when it involves ______.
Understand this young lady. If you dress like ______, you're gonna find yourself ______.
What makes little girls cry?
What's oozing down my leg?
Why do I bareback?
You know you're in love when ______ makes you horny.
A banter tampon.
A family-sized bucket of chicken.
A golden shower on a warm summer's day.
A molester mustache.
A rape kit.
A severe beating with the ugly stick.
A shit of a thousand wipes.
A sickening dull thud.
Acid.
Actiong out rape fantasies with strangers you're never met.
An inability to take a joke.
An unwashed, pre-owned rubber gimp suit.
Antidepressants.
Atheists.
Bad shrimp.
Ballscaping.
Big-titted whores.
Bitch-slapping a homeless person and burning the box they sleep in.
Blasphemy.
Bleeding during sex.
Brexit.
Bulimia.
Checking that everything's the right tightness.
Christianity.
Concentration camps.
Cramming it all the way in.
Death by a thousand cuts.
Delusions of grandeur.
Ethnic slurs.
Fake showers.
Feeling a little bit rapey.
Female circumcision.
Fingering a baby.
Finishing a story with the words "And then I fucked her up the ass".
Flamboyant gay men.
Formaldehyde.
Getting so drunk you start finding your own wife attractive.
Getting your eyeballs tattooed because other people's attention is worth the risk of going blind.
Haivng sex with strangers for money.
Havng the painters in.
Irreparable damage.
Jailbait.
Karma.
Lady gardening.
Letting him cum inside you.
Leukemia.
Low expectations.
Lying to terminally ill children about their life expectancy.
Megan's Law.
Mother Teresa.
My "friend".
Nipples as hard as bullets.
Not being shown enough attention when you were a child.
Palliative care.
Pearl Harbor.
Pre-cum.
Pricks with small dicks.
Promiscuous women.
Religious intolerance.
Ron Jeremy.
Rosa Parks.
Same sex marriage.
Sandy Hook.
Schindler's List.
Self-harming.
Shit literally everywhere.
Sore lips.
Stalking.
Starving a fat girl until she's attractive enough to fuck.
Sucking her ass so hard, her face caves in.
Sucking her juices off your best mate's cock.
Teaching a woman the meaning of the word respect.
The ability to turn your penis inside out.
The age of consent.
The American way.
The buckle end of the belt.
The extinction of an entire race of people.
The lingering taste of a night of passion.
The not-so-hot friend.
The reek of desperation.
The right to bear arms.
The stench of death.
The vacant stare of a retarded child.
The weaker sex.
Too much teeth.
Touchin' ya where you pee.
Truffle butter.
Using the last guy's semen as lube.
Wanking with a hand full of razor blades.
Zyklon B.
JadedAid: A Card Game to Save Humanitarians

http://jadedaid.com/
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on October 22, 2015 raising $51,182 with 1,625 backers. Released on January 6, 2016.
When the US State Department was evacuated from Yemen, they left a warehouse full of ______.
This hashtag will save the world: #______.
Our proposal win themes are ______ and ______.
Why was the low-level diplomat kicked out of the country?
The most popular Google search in rural Zambia is "______."
Sustainability will be assured through a razor-sharp focus on ______.
Our theory of change: If ______, then ______.
Oh joy! Another workshop on ______.
We're not so much faith-based as ______-based.
What is the 18th Sustainable Development Goal?
USAID brought ______ to the people of Haiti when they really needed ______.
Save the Children will now be saving ______.
I'm pretty sure "capacity building" is just a euphemism for ______.
Ebola was eradicated by injecting ______ with ______.
Buy one, give one should be reserved for ______.
The best in-kind donation ever received was ______.
As of today, all local staff will be paid in ______.
Angelina Jolie will now be special envoy for ______.
______ is our new performance indicator.
What is USAID's guilty pleasure?
Vegemite: easier to spread than ______.
The humanitarian situation in Syria reminds me of ______.
I took inspiration from ______ where I started ______.
______ is not reimbursable.
______ is the next development panacea.
What is DFID's secret weapon against USAID dominance?
GSMA is now promoting smartphones for ______.
The data collected with SurveyCTO revealed that the project is getting the greatest results from ______.
The Gates Foundation is launching a small grants program to eradicate ______.
To the surprise of funders, Joseph Mbuntu spent the $10000 USD he received from GiveDirectly on ______.
What's the secret to peace in the Middle East?
I spent all my hazard pay on ______.
My NGO name means ______ in Kiswahili.
My only real Peace Corps accomplishment was ______.
The last mile is paved with ______.
AIDS
A photogenic child with flies and a distended belly
Value for money
An updated, well-organized spreadsheet
A loan shark in micro lender's clothing
Gin o'clock
George Clooney's wife
My white in shining armor
Vandalizing a Mandela statue
Ebola juices
An unpronounceable acronym
ISIL's YouTube channel
Struggling with the fact that without child labor, there'd be no cocoa
Pleasing the donor at any cost
Carefully curating a social media presence to look cool
His Excellency, President for Life, Field Marshal Al Hadji Doctor Idi Amin Dada, VC, DSO, MC, Lord of All the Beasts of the Ear
Fishes of the Seas and Conqueror of the British Empire in Africa in General and Uganda in Particular
Bleeding-heart humanitarianism
Giving up any hope of a stable relationship
Shagging in a flak jacket
Sushi in a landlocked country
A bad blood-to-stool ratio
The third gender
China!
Using fake polio vaccines to find Osama bin Laden
Getting your vibrator confiscated a the airport
Bicycle-powered water pumps pedaled by malnourished 8-year-olds
Village hooch
Village justice
Ushahidi
Ugali
Two guys with AK-47s
Tragically single middle-aged women
Three large sheep
The White Savior Complex
The White Maasai
The warm embrace of malaria
The sudden realization that your theory of change is a crock of shit
The smug sense of self-satisfaction
Coming to terms with the fact that your intervention is the problem
The sex worker value chain
The satisfaction that comes with finding the closest workshop venue outside the capitol that qualifies for per diems
The resource curse
The one honest Nigerian official
The girl-child
The fourth cup of tea
The British
Talking about food security over caviar and fine wine
T-shirts!
Sustainability
Somali pirates
Sobbing while your host family eats your dog for dinner
Sleeping with your supervisors
Skype sex with a bad Internet connection
Shooting Cecil the lion
Sharts
Sexy UNHAS flight attendants
Secretly celebrating when disasters occurs because you don't have to live in your parent's basement anymore
Secret Service hookers
Sean Penn's Glock
Seahawks Super Bowl XLIX Championship t-shirts
Robert Mugabe
Puking into the shower while sitting on the toilet
Propagating heinous American stereotypes
Poverty porn
Phase 17: Establish local ownership
Per diems
Orphanage tourism
Organizational restructuring
Reserving DFID funds for the abortions
Nepotism
Bombing in the name of freedom
My well-hung Senegalese boyfriend
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
Monsanto.org
Missing 1K status by 500 miles
Mid-Upper Arm Circumference
Microloans to start a brothel
Measuring time as an indicator
Marrying local
Learning to poop in a Ziploc bag
Interrupting the fecal-oral cycle
Disruptive Innovation
Ineffective cascaded training
In-kind donations of hookers and coke
Hypocrisy
Humanitarians of Tinder
Hanging up and pretending you ran out of mobile credit
Growing a beard and waving a Kalashnikov
Going blind from local moonshine
Giving AIDS to prostitutes
Giardia burps
Getting upgraded to business class
Getting high with indigenous communities
A fire drill in the Ronald Reagan Building
Feeling superior to tourists for knowing how to say more than "thank you" in the local language
Fecal sludge
Explaining tat Chad is a country, not a person
Ending peace and harmony by introducing democracy and elections
Disneyland Darfur
Diplomatic pouch privileges
T.I.A.
Contracting AIDS from a cute rebel leader
A bottomless pit of need
An iPhone at the bottom of a pit latrine
Bush meat
Broken condoms
Bribing the local ethics review board
Botflies in my boxers
Being a gay Mormon in Uganda
Ayn Rand
Avoiding missionaries
Asian ass
Antimalarial-induced hallucinations
Saving Africa one adoption at a time
An educated angry African
Actually giving a shit
A white SUV
A market-driven approach
A hand job from a monkey
A Celebrity Deathmatch between Jeff Sachs and Bill Easterly
$1.25 per day
"Hello Mister!"
Brain parasites as a behavior change methodology
An external drive full of ripped TV shows
A child's unwashed hands
Hoarding the only two squares of toilet paper left
100 foreskins in a bucket
Turning human waste into clean energy
The eternal tension between prostitution and entrepreneurship
The economic vacuum left by a UN peacekeeping mission close down
The bloodshot eyes of a boy soldier
That time the UN recognized Palestine
Real-time data collection
Indigenous alcohol
In the bush
Good old-fashioned colonial values
Going local
Giving a damn about genocide
Bribes paid in M-PESA
Another goddamn cookstove
A sinking boat full of brown people
A research grant to find evidence that evidence-based research for policy makers is used by policy makers to make evidence-b
policy
A career in contract compliance
Whispering under your breath that the US is not the center of the world
Emergency Sex
A vial of Bono's tears
A year's salary from the Shuttleworth Foundation to do whatever the fuck you want
Beyonic's cashless utopia
Voluntourism
Dennis Rodman diplomacy
Women dancing and clapping for an arriving fleet of Land Cruisers
Helpies - selfies to brag about helping
Tea breaks
GIZ
A gift of live chickens and a stalk of plantains
A really solid shit
The dysentery diet
Sexpats
A one-way feedback loop
KinderPerfect: A Timeout For Parents

http://kinderperfect.com/
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on May 10, 2016 raising $20,042 with 833 backers. Released on July 2, 2016.
______ is a healthy meal, right?

______ is the best birth control.
Before kids, I never thought about ______.
Brown bear, brown bear, what do you see?
Daddy's worst nightmare.
How we got your little brother.
I caught the kids getting into ______.
I think about ______ while breastfeeding.
I'm an asshole parent because ______.
Junior's favorite cock block.
Our code name for sex is ______.
Please don't put ______ in your mouth.
Signs that you are THAT family.
The best birthday parties have ______.
The best part of being a Stay at Home Parent is ______.
Trying to get pregnant? Try ______!
We were late at school today because of ______.
What is that smell?
What the f**k is that?
Why does daddy drink?
Why is daddy in time out again?
Why is mommy locked in the bathroom?
"I want to do it by myseeeeeeelf!"

"Stop playing with your penis!"
2nd child issues
48 hour labor
a bad-ass clown
A Band-Aid fetish
A bottle of fine wine
A broken condom
a car floor full of crushed Cheerios
A cheap ass Tooth Fairy
A crowning selfie
A double shot
A false positive paternity test
A formal goldfish funeral.
A freezer full of breast milk
A good night's sleep
A half-assed drawing taped to the refrigerator
a hot Brazilian nanny
A leaky vasectomy
A misplaced IUD
A night alone with the kids
A participation trophy
A Pinterest board of organized kid toys
A poop mural A poopy finger
A sexy fertility doctor
A sippy cup fill of curdled milk
A six-month old bag of Halloween candy
A sticky remote control
A strange silence
A sugar-buzz rampage
A well-hung toddler
A&D Ointment for everything
Adderall and apple juice
Adult baby wipes
An extra hour of screen time
An iPhone in the toilet
An undescended testicle
Anatomically correct dolls.
Another damn stuffed animal
Another positive pregnancy test
Artisanal hemp diapers
Baking nut-free, gluten-free, vegan cupcakes at 2 AM.
Because I said so, dammit!
Beer cooler at the birthday party
Binge watching Netflix
Breast milk coffee creamer
Breastfeeding in a moving car
Caillou, that whiny bitch
Changing a diaper one-handed
Chasing poop in the bathtub… again!
Chocolate or poop?
Co-sleeping till college
Coffee, gin, and Xanax
Coitus interruptus
Conceiving on the first date
Crayon-colored vomit
Crossing guards with booze breath
Crying over spilled breast milk
Dad bod
Daddy?
Daddy's Grindr account
Daughter drama
Day drinking with daddy
Day-old dirty diapers
Delicious dog food
Demon spawn
Doing child drop-off in your pajamas
Doing the bare ass minimum
Drop-off birthday parties
Dropping the F-bomb
Eating daddy's Viagra
Eating the Cheerio in the toilet
Eating their own weight in candy
Eau de baby vomit
Expecting a smile and getting a face full of puke
Explaining ejaculation
Farting at the principal
Flashing
Four week old french fries
Free birth control
Getting high before a playdate
Going to Target for a mini-vacation
Grandma
Grandparent babysitters
Grocery store cookies for the school bake sale
Handmade, locally grown organic baby food
Helicopter parents
Her first period
Hiding in the bathroom
Higher standards for first borns
Inappropriate lactation
Inappropriate show and tell
iPad Babysitter
Jack and Coke
Just the green M&Ms
Lego landmines
Lint covered gummy bears
Little boy pee
Mommy brain
Mommy guilt
Mommy juice
Mommy time
Mommy's special toy
More glitter than a stripper
Morning wood
Mother-in-law advice
My fantasy social life
My shattered dreams and aspirations
My status as a high-end prostitute
My unfinished baby book
Naptrapped in the car. Again.
Never pooping alone
Nothing an extra $5 can't fix
Picture-perfect Pinterest moms
Placenta smoothie
Playground throwdown
Playing doctor
Poop
Pot brownies
Pregnancy sex
Premeditated meltdowns
Pretending to give a damn
Pretending you're asleep so someone else will get the baby
Pretending your screaming kid does not belong to you
Saggy post-pregnancy boobies
Shaving the dog
Shopkins. So many Shopkins.
Skid-mark undies
Skipping bathtime
Sleepovers
Slip n' slide rash
Smiling and pooping at the same time
Snot. Yeah, I think that's snot.
Some princess sh*t
Spitting up right into your open mouth
Stay-at-home dads
Sticky fingers
Stop licking your sister!
Stranger danger
Stripping to "Let It Go"
Sucking on a dirty thumb
Sunday hangovers
Surrogate mom
That f**king Elf on a Shelf
That first gray pubic hair
That one kid. You know the one. That one.
That time I ran out of baby wipes.
The "oops child"
The American Girl store
The babysitter's lip gloss
The back to school happy dance
The bedside toddler zombie stare
The dreams your mother gave up to have you.
The family restroom
The last of my inheritance
The lies we tell our children
The second bottle of wine
The smug cloth diaper parent
The sudden realization that you've become your mother
The sweaty hand of a child
Toddler bribery
Toddler erections
Toddler leashes
Trying again for a son
Un-filtered Netflix
Unsolicited parental advice
Urine fountains
Violating the 3-second rule
Weeping with joy over the sweet sound of silence
Winning the Charter School lottery
Wishing you could just make a donation instead
Yesterday's lunch, today's snack.
Voter's Choice: The First Expansion

https://www.amazon.com/Voters-Choice-Unofficial-Humanity-Expansion/dp/B01GD9DB3O
______. is what I love most about my body.

______. Part of a balanced breakfast.
______. That's a deal breaker.
______. There's a fetish for that.

I was caught naked eating ______.
Roses are red. Violets are blue. That being said, ______
What did I smuggle into Mexico?
A career ending blowjob.

A low cal progressive communion wafer called, I cant believe its not Jesus.
A pregnant lady with feet hanging from her vagina.
A Shirley Temple made from the remains of the actual Shirley Temple.
Accidentally committing rape by not yelling surprise.
Adolf Hitler's gas bill.

An Asian Invasion.
Apologizing for having a boner.
Dating Advice from Taylor Swift
Disastrously misunderstanding the purpose of a whales blowhole.
Feigning death to avoid awkward social situations.
Finally realizing, after so many tries, that Do you suck cock? Is the worst opening line at any church event.
Harvesting the organs of the homeless
I have shit cards and am putting this down in hopeless desperation.
Licking the flavor off of Doritos so you can reuse them as tortilla chips for your salsa.
Only getting 71 virgins, due to a clerical error.
Playing Jenga on 9/11
Reading erotic braille with your penis.
Slapping the dick right out of someones mouth
The countless times the Toy Story toys were forced to watch Andy masturbate.

http://www.amazon.com/Words-Against-Morality-Volume-Adult/dp/B01B7HBAC6
______ gets me all hot and bothered.

______ is a bad idea. The More You Know …
______ is totally acceptable. If you're a freak.
______ was my old college nickname.
______. #squadgoals
______. #whitepeopleproblems
______. Sounds like something Cartman would like.
______. Yeah, I'll blame that on the dog.
“The pursuit of ______,” starring Will Smith.
A bottle of tequila + ______ = A Night to Remember.
Babe, come over, I'm ______.
Charlie Sheen holds the record for ______ the fastest.
Dammit, I don't care what anyone thinks! I'm in love with ______.
Don't you dare fuck with ______.
Every time a bell rings, an angel gets ______.

I got a pop-up book entitled “______” for my 9-year-old nephew's birthday.
No sleep til' ______.
Now this is a story all about ______.
Only you can prevent ______.
Ronda Rousey gets thoroughly arouse by ______.
WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!?!
What did I used to sell to people door-to-door?
What do you feel when bae friend-zones you?
What does Hulk Hogan scream whilst ejaculating?
What is my most treasured memory?
What makes me moist.
What touched me in a new way?
What was Mother Teresa's favorite memory whilst on her pilgrimage to Ireland?
What was the theme of Rob Ross's most cherished painting?
What's the most annoying thing I need to do once or twice a week?
A baseball bat vasectomy.

A Bengay handjob.
A gang bang with angry Smurfs.
A half-heated blowjob.
A honey badger in heat.
A packet of Splenda.
A porn parody of the Bible.
A puppet show of the Holocaust.
A really, really mean boss.
A shit at work that's so foul if becomes water cooler talk.
Accidentally masturbating after handling hot peppers.
Actually being a useful member of society.
An empty bottle of Jack and a broken condom.
An imaginary friend with benefits.
An unexpected number of casualties.
Ass clapping.
Beatings by Dre.
Being a two-timing whore.
Being a white supremacist at a Black Lives Matter rally.
Being dangerously unqualified for your job.
Buying hookers with penises to save on cash.
Calling yourself daddy.
Catching your dick in a zipper.
Choke sex.
COCKPUNCHER!
Coconut water.
Donald Trump drowning in the freshly-poured concrete foundation of a border wall.
Drinking an entire bottle of NyQuil to induce hibernation.
Eating the placenta.
Feeding bacon to a pig.
Finding your son dead with a belt around his neck and his dick in his hand.
Forgetting the safe word, right when it starts to hurt.
Four minutes of non-stop screaming.
Getting groped by a department store Santa Claus.
Getting mad at a coffee cup.
Going up to a random person and screaming “Get In My Belly!”
Google it!
Gooooooooaaaal!!!!!
Grammar Nazis invading France and correcting everything in their path.
Grumpy coworkers.
Gut-wrenching explosive diarrhea.
Guy Fieri's frosted tips.
Having your date cancel right after you take the Viagra.
Hoping raw vegetables will cure your cancer.
Hoping that bitch gets AIDS.
Inserting a banana slug into your anus.
Joe Camel Toe.
Lying at the bottom of the ball pit with my pants off.
Making tea with the blood of your enemies.
Massive cunt lips.
Micheal Jackson’s last words.
My neck, my back, my pussy, and my crack.
Oprah and her huge black ass.
People who are racist to their own race.
Putting shock collars on children.
Realizing Dad isn't coming home.
Riding a sugar high.
Rumpleforeskin.
Scouting for porn stars at a high school graduation.
Secretly stirring someone's beverage with your boner.
Self-loathing minority women who vote Republican.
Something strange in your neighborhood.
Stupid Flanders.
That feeling when you're swimming in cold water and your kibbles and bits touch the water for the first time.
That slightly overweight shite girl with the black boyfriend.
The 6.5 million 112-year-olds mooching off of Social Security.
The disappointment of finding a PB&J in your lunch box instead of leftovers.
The truth about what really happened on September 11th.
This fuckin' guy.
Too man fucking throw pillows.
Too many witnesses.
Unnecessarily enthusiastic therapists.
Using a push pop as a sex toy.
Using religion to justify your shitty opinions.
Watching a woman cry while secretly laughing inside.
Whatever hot dogs are made of.
White supremacists who refuse to eat brown M&Ms.
Yet another dead Kennedy.
Yoda's weird little green penis.
Your mom, last night.
The Worst Card Game: Colorado Edition

http://uncalledfour.com/product-category/the-worst-card-game/
Cards created by stand up comedians that participate in "the most offensive comedy game show in Denver": Uncal
an interactive crowd experience loosely based on the #1 card game in America.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on October 31, 2015 raising $9,356 with 372 backers. Released December 10, 2
Editor Note: The response cards include a citation with the Twitter handle of the comedian that created the card. That infor
included in the Footnotes column for those that wish to have it.
______ + ______ = Hipsters

_______ really ruined PrideFest for me this year.
Casa Bonita is now offering a 2-for-1 Cliff diving and ______.
Colorado natives know that when it smells like ______, it's going to snow.
Colorado's next big public art installation will depict ______.
Have you tried a Denver omelette, but with ______ instead of ham? It's the only way I'll order mine now.
How do we get people to stop moving to Colorado?
How do you know if you have altitude sickness?
I belong with you, you belong with me, you're ______.
I don't do the BolderBOULDER, I run ______ instead.
I was supposed to go to Taste of Colorado, but I got stuck ______ instead.
It's a secret, but if you whisper ______ to an illegal Pete's employee, they'll add ______ to your burrito.
No one ever talks about ______ on the top of Lookout Mountain.
Now you have a friend in the ______ business." - Tom Shane
People in Boulder really frown upon ______.
People think CU-Boulder is the better school, but Metro students are more likely to be ______.
Since marijuana was legalized in Colorado, cases of ______ have skyrocketed.
Summit County: Come for the mountains, stay for ______.
Ted Haggard was banned from New Life Church after he was found in a hotel room with ______.
The difference between New Mexico and Colorado green chile is ______.
The edible contains a potent dose of ______. Can you feel it yet?
The Mile High Club? Amateur. I joined the ______ club last year.
The Nuggets never should have traded Chauncey Billups for ______.
What did you see the last time you were on Colfax?
What else can you buy used at Rocky's Autos?
What ruined my last tailgate at Sport Authority Field?
What should be a new sport in the X-Games this year?
What should be added to the Colorado flag?
What should be banned from Colorado?
What should you never add to your home microbrew?
What's really below DIA?
What's the latest trend in Boulder?
What's the one thing we can all look forward to on opening day at Coors Field®?
What's the skeleton in Governor John Hickenlooper's closet?
When they built NORAD in 1957, they never could have imagined it would need to withstand ______.
You shouldn't swim in the Platte River, they found ______ in there.
300 days of sunshine, 365 days of white people.

A forest fire that finally destroys that finally destroys Colorado Springs.
A group of nuns on Ecstasy finger blasting themselves outside of The Church.
A redneck finding out the hard way The Wrangler isn't a jeans store.
A vagina that tastes like the bathroom floors at Tom's Diner.
Accidentally showing your homemade porno at Film on the Rocks.
Adele Arakawa: Providing informed, reliable boners weekdays at 6, 10, and 11pm.
American Furniture Whorehouse.
An asshole with dreadlocks.
An atheist going to Garden of the Gods.
Assuming anything with "Rocky Mountain" in the name is made with bull balls.
Blucifer? I barely know'cifer!
Breaking out your winter mirkin.
Casa Bonita's even shittier location, Casa Vomita.
Cheesman Park: where you can bury a bone AND uncover one.
Columbine High School's new mascot, the Fightin' Early-Intervention Peer Mediator.
Confusing Denver Health with a dispensary.
Dealin' Doug, dealin' drugs.
Denver turning down the Olympics so that it could focus on its band.
Drunk Frank Azar trying to show you his "Strong Arm" again.
Electing Snoop Dogg as District Comptroller of the Cannabis Cup.
Farting on the MallRide.
Getting fisted at First Friday.
Getting in trouble for referring to your wife as "Kegs and Eggs."
Getting the first bloody diarrhea at the first Chipotle®.
Getting your period in the hallway at The Stanley Hotel aftr drinking too much rum.
Giving your kid a B-Cycle™ for Christmas.
Going to the Bluebird to see indie rock band Nippless Cage.
Greeley: where if it doesn't smell like shit, you're not in Greeley.
Hate fucking a Subaru™.
Having your favorite chilldhood memory replaced by a mixed-use condo.
Hotboxing the Balloon Boy.
Jenga® made with breakfast burritos.
Jizz in the Park.
John Elway and Peyton Manning's huge headed love child.
John Elway's football shaped cock.
JonBenet Ramsey's cold, dead future.
Leaving a trail of crushed Dale's Pale Ale cans when hiking to find your way back home.
Letting Patrick Roy hit your wife because you're SUCH A HUGE FAN.
Mistaking the Zombie Crawl for a homeless uprising.
North Commerce City After Dark.
Ordering the 7lb Jack-n-Grill burrito because you miss your dead baby.
Organizing a pedal bar event for the handicapped.
Panning for gold in Aurora (robbing your neighbor's house).
Playing the pianos on the 16th St Mall with your genitals.
Pueblo: Colorado's grundle.
Punch Bowl Social®: where Tinder comes to life.
Realizing Colorado natives were actually the Native Americans.
Remembering Chubby's when it was flaccid.
Screaming "JESUS! FUCK, NOT AGAIN!" while at the Denver Aquarium Shipwreck exhibit.
Sending $3,000 on ski equipment that sits in the front hall closet for 15 years.
Serving jail time for making eight-year-olds reenact THAT South Park episode.
Shannon Shart Adult Diapers™.
Stringing piano wire across a street right before the Denver Cruisers turn the corner.
Taking dick pics at Tiny Town so it looks HUGE.
Taking the kids to Lakeside because you don't love them anymore.
That unmistakable Colfax itch.
The 3 Jamaicans at Reggae on the Rocks.
The Brown Palace: A place and a rich guy sex move!
The Denver Satanic Gardens.
The DIA Devil Horse having a field day with your butt.
The only black guy in Aspen.
The popular local sex move, the Steamboat Spring.
The Ryan Gosling of Commerce City.
The Underground Railroad.
The unshaved undercarriage of a Boulder Trustafarian.
The XXX Games.
Tim Tebow's Reign of Christian Terror.
Tour de Fat bottom girls.
Traffic going to the mountains, because traffic needs to get out of town sometimes, too.
Water World's Thunder Bay Wave Pool filled with jizz and tears.
Whispering "Green chile is people!"
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OC = OmniClaw
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@Corey_Rhoads Response
@zachwelch303 Response
@ItsUncalledFour Response
@ChuckRoy Response
@ComicMitchJones Response
@GregEllisComedy Response
@HippiemansPlan Response
@WalterBoothV Response
@KyleBurtman Response
@DanielReskin Response
@CarneyDenise Response
@NathanLund Response
@Dick.Black Response
@SeanHugs Response
@JeremyPysher Response
@DarthVaderploeg Response
@AaronUrist Response
@YoHendo Response
@StephenAgyei Response
@JeffMAlbright Response
@MaraWiles Response
@Dick.Black Response
@CaytonHolland Response
@DarthVaderploeg Response
@HaleyMDriscoll Response
@TheMikeHammock Response
@FunnyJill Response
@CharpieComedy Response
@JordanComedy Response
@PteroZakktyl Response
@MustachedMadman Response
@DDotKelley Response
@JokesMakeYou Response
@FedyskiComedy Response
@IanDouglasTerry Response
@GregEllisComedy Response
@CodySpyk Response
@CaytonHolland Response
@MaraWiles Response
@ByronFG Response
@TheDerrickRUSH Response
@Exploder666 Response
@KStantonComedy Response
@CharpieComedy Response
@HarrisAlterman Response
@TallentSam Response
@HeyMonroe Response
@BenKronberg Response
@BtGcomedy Response
@MattKnudsen Response
@Let2Elise Response
@CodySpyk Response
@NegativeNegro
The prompt cards did not have anything in the 'special' column. I am not sure if the original cards had anything
on them or not, but I have taken the liberty of adding 'PICK 2' and 'DRAW 2, PICK 3' where appropriate --
cards410, 8/28/2016
______ x ______ = ______

______ is finger licking good.
______ now Gluten Free!
A 450 million year old fossil of ______ scientists didn't know existed.
Besides watching animals fornicate, nothing gets me going more than ______.
During foreplay, I close my eyes and visualize ______.
George, George, George of the jungle, watch out for ______!
I decided to become an activist and fight for ______.
It makes me sad to think about?
My biggest idol is ______.
Right after sex I like to think about ______.
The absolute worse thing on this earth is ______.
The cause of most divorces is likely a result of ______.
The greatest lie ever told was ______.
The most gut-wrenching thing known to man is ______.
The only thing worse than ______ is ______.
The reason for my non-existent sex life is ______.
The world would be a better place is ______ and ______ happened.
What did I do that caused my parents to beat me as a child?
What explains me only being able to pee sitting down?
What is my greatest skill?
What is the reason no one likes me?
What keeps me up at night?
What makes me cry myself to sleep every night?
What makes me feel empowered?
What will always make people want to have sex with you?
What will be my first purchase once I become rich and famous?
What works 80% of the time 100% of the time?
Yeah? Well, your MOM is ______!
Your friendly neighborhood ______.
69ing a dirty vagina.

9/11.
A burning orphanage.
A Saint Bernard's Red Rocket.
A sandpaper condom.
A shaved cat.
Almost having sex on the dance floor.
Being offended at people being offended.
Being the big spoon.
Bestiality.
Billy Crystal.
Blacking out at the wedding rehearsal.
Blowing weed smoke into the family's dog ear.
Boning the maid of honor.
Clits.
Cocaine.
Columbine.
Coming out of the closet.
Crashing a funeral.
Cremating the family pet.
Cutting in line on black Friday.
Drop kicking a crying baby on a long distance flight.
Elon Musk.
Eskimo Brothers.
Extreme Jihadists.
Faking a heart attack to get out of paying the bill.
Faking an orgasm.
Fat people.
Finding out your ex is now gay.
Fist fighting the bouncer.
Fucking a retard.
Getting a blumpkin.
Ghost busters.
Having sex in the neighbors hot tub.
Hoes in different area codes.
Jehovah Witnesses.
Jerry Sandusky.
Joe Biden.
Judge Judy.
Karate chopping the blind.
Keeping the pimp hand strong.
Killing your own parents to become batman.
Lady Gaga.
Laughing at a funeral.
Leaving the toilet seat up.
LeBron James's Hairline.
Marilyn Manson.
MDMA.
Mitt Rommey.
Money problems.
My sex life.
Not picking up dog shit.
Paying taxes.
Peeing on a hobo.
Penis shaped objects.
Pistol-whipping a parking officer.
Pretentious Prius Drivers.
Raping an alter boy.
Robbing the poor.
Rubbing feces on tombstones.
Running over a herd of prostitutes.
Selling weed to elementary school students.
Skull fucking the neighbor's cat.
Slave owners.
Smelly Arabs.
Spike Lee.
Spitting on Santa Claus imposters.
Squirting porn.
Stealing all the drinking water at EDM Raves.
Sweatshop workers.
Telling small children the truth about the Easter bunny.
The book of Mormon.
The gentle caress of Uncle's scrotum on your ear.
The middle class.
The Ninja Turtles
Time traveling on psychedelics.
Towelheads.
Urinating on a public water fountain.
Walking into the wrong delivery room.
Carbs of the Huge Manatee - Kink Expansion 1

http://www.amazon.com/Carbs-Huge-Manatee-Kink-Expansion/dp/B01788N7II
Several of the cards have footnotes explaining the terminology used on the cards. Those are included in this list
in the Footnotes column.
“Mrs. Robinson, you want me to provide ______ and ______ for this affair?”
“Wait! I thought you had the lube for ______!”
After ______, the elevator ride got really uncomfortable.

Afterward, I realized having my grandmother over for ______ on her birthday may not have been the best idea
I've ever had.
He didn't want sex, he wanted ______ with ______. I can work with that.
I can't believe that ______ is now being taught to kids as young as seven!
I realized that my tastes have turned much trashier since my experience with ______.
I'm totally turned on when someone wears glasses and has ______.
Most things cleaned up fairly easily, but I'm still trying to get the liquid latex out of my ______.
Newbies think they're kinky when they've had ______. Then they go to their first party and get their minds blown
when they see people ______. (And maybe not just their minds...)
Note to self: ______ is not an acceptable form of contraception.
Someone was a bad girl. Now you're going to need to be punished with ______.
Sure, I like humiliation, but ______ is a hard limit.
The last time I misbehaved, my Master punished me with ______. I won't do that again.
There's a new Fetlife group for fans of ______ at fetlife.com/______.
Until last night, it had never occurred to me to try ______ on ______ on the kitchen counter. Talk about fun!!!
We lucked out. The cop who pulled us over didn't check and we had ______ in the trunk!
We were just making dinner and having some wine when we got distracted by ______.
Who's to say that love needs to be soft, gentle, and sweet? Not when it can involve ______...
Why am I wet?
Why was a clean-up needed on aisle 6?

You have ______?! Oh my god! Put it in my mouth!!!
“Christian Domestic Discipline 101” from Amazon.com.*

“Exiting, pursued by a bear.”
“Vegan-leather” bondage gear.
50 Shades of Off-White.
A “boudoir-style” photoshoot that turns into something else.
A 20+ year age gap between you and your partner.
A bi-sexual woman learning blowjob technique from a gay man.
A Brat.
A catholic schoolgirl uniform.

A cherry-wood spanking bench.
A collar and a leash.

A Fleshlight™ knock-off from China.*
A fox-tail butt plug.
A gift certificate to Liberator™.*

A happy submissive.
A librarian doing something with her mouth other than “shushing.”
A mild foot-fetish.
A really, really good spanking.
A sex-toy or a dog-toy.
A Violet Wand with multiple attachments.*
Aftercare.*
Alternative uses for Icy Hot and Gold Bond Medicated Powder.
An advanced teledildonics* protoype.
An all-day fuck fest.

An introverted Dom.
An upgraded Sybian.*
Anal safer sex.
Asking “Do you have other sizes of ball gags?”
Awkward dynamics in a poly relationship.
Awkward sex on the honymoon.
Being bent over the bed, blindfolded, and bound, and waiting...
Being choked – with love – by your partner.
Being pleasantly surprised at the quality of the sex tape you made using your iPhone.
Buying kink supplies at Hobby Lobby.*

Creepy kink guys who prey on newbies to the scene.
Daddy.
Deciding who gets to sleep in the middle.

Defending marriage from those kind of people.
Dinner at a fine restaurant with candlelight, small portions, tablecloths, and a remote-controlled bullet in your
partner.*
Drool from sucking cock.
Fetlife.*
Figuring out how to keep a woman with really small, flexible hands restrained in bondage cuffs.
Fisher-Price's new “My First Slave Collar.”

Getting an infection from your partner's unclean toys.
GGG.*
Gifted but not talented.
Glitter everywhere.
Hair gel on the inside of your car windows.
High protocol.*
I'm your Secretary.
Kinky sex.
Leaving claw marks on my back.

Liquid latex.
Making whore life choices.
My custom-built bondage bed.
My Good Girl.*
My safeword is “Cinnamon.”
My token monogamous friend.
Needle-play.
No, Sir.
Nope. Not at all.
Not just embracing your inner demon, but taking it out for dinner and dancing, then home...
One scoop of creamed potatoes. A slice of butter. Four peas. And as much ice cream as you'd like to eat.*
Orgasm denial.
Pegging.*
Piercings in unusual places.
Pity sex.
Reaching out and “touching” someone.
Restraining orders.
Rubbing a bald head.

Sex positive people.
Shibari.*
Six rolls of “Moving Wrap” from U-Haul™.
Slamming your partner against a wall.

Squirting.*
Sub drop.*
That fantasy.
That really cute barista.

The BAD cane.
The Hitachi Magic Wand.*

The lovely bruises from last night.
The morning-after pill.
The other paddle.
The threesome that will never happen.

Trying to introduce the person you're dating when you don't know what your relationship status actually is.
Vampire gloves.*
Vetwrap bandaging tape.
Walking in on your mom dominating your dad.

Wax-play.
Whistling inappropriate Oingo-Boingo songs.
Yes, Sir!
Your behavior. It's very bad.
Carbs of the Huge Manatee: Dance Expansion 1

http://carbsofthehugemanatee.com/cards_dance.php
At the end of the night, the venue smelled like _______________.

I knew he/she was creepy when _______________.
I really hope the picture of me _______________ doesn't show up in the facebook photo album.
Mambo is a dance. Salsa is a _______________.
My dancing would really improve if I worked on two things: my connection and _______________.
Old- and new-school dancers alike were surprised with the success of the _______________ room at our Friday
night dance.
Please be warned, altitude sickness will lead to _______________, _______________, and _______________.
The _______________ Dance Exchange
The best way to check someone off your dance card is _______________.
The last time I _______________, I was _______________ all night long.
The old argument of “Hollywood” vs. “Savoy” is mirrored in the real world by “_______________” vs.
“_______________.”
This year at fusion exchange, we are offering _______________ at the low price of a dollar a minute.
Today at fusion exchange, I learned _______________.
Wanna dance? I've been taking _______________.
When I am too tired to keep dancing, I like to _______________.
When I hear someone say they really only dance fusion, I think _______________.
When I wake up after dancing till 5AM, I wish _______________.
Why did the fusion exchanges end?
(wub)(wub)(wub)
“Platonic” cuddle buddies.

A dance board with “new ideas.”
A dance so face-meltingly hot, you have to go to the restroom and check your underwear.
A pretentious DJ who attempts to “challenge” the dancers.
Acapella Dubstep.
An elbow to the nose.
An exploded blister.
An Indian co-worker who wears so much cologne you can taste it.
An unexpected massage.
Argentine Tango.
Arm-Leading.
Asking someone to dance who says, “Oh. I’m not very good.”
Asking the DJ to play “Cold Turkey.”
Austin Blues Predators.
Awkward Eye Contact.
Ballet.
Ballroom Avenger.
Bathrooms with danceable music.
Beaver Clamp.
Because of you people.
Blues Dancing.
Bonerboy.
Children at exchanges.
Clear the Floor.
Completely drunk organizers.
Condoms in the restrooms at the Exchange.
Connection.
Core.
Dance Evangelist.
Dancers are like locusts on food, but more destructive.
Dancers whining to organizers about trivial, stupid shit.
Dancers who don’t wash their hands after using the restroom.
Dancesturbation.
Dancing ballroom before ballroom was cool.
Dating within the dance scene.
Dating your dance instructor.
Denver: The Final Fusion Exchange.
Dirty Waltz.
Diva dance instructors.
Don’t. Fuck. With. Ivy.
Frankenblues.
Guys going after new follows like piranha on a cow.
Hit me like a real Westie.
I’m not backleading, you’re just doing it wrong.
Leaving room for Baby Jesus.
Let Jesus find his own dance partner.
LindyXtreme!
Mad Stylin’, yo.
Nice shoes… Wanna dance?
No, I don’t watch “Dancing with the Stars.”
No, sorry, no.
Organizer murder-suicide pacts.
Organizers with the patience of saints.
Package Delivery.
Please. Dance me nice.
Polka Kills.
Post-Exchange Flu.
Pungent dancer feet.
Recess dancers fucking in the woods.
Recess dancers who don’t understand that, if you’re in a hotel, they have these magical things called showers.
Socially awkward but a good dancer.
Sorry but we’re not sorry.
Spaghetti arms.
Tango shoes.
That sketchy guy hitting on the inappropriately young girls.
That special sweaty moldy smell of tee-shirts that were danced-in, washed, not dried soon enough, and then
danced in again to release that unique bouquet…
The ability to get drunk at altitude after one drink but not stopping.
The clinging stench of that last person you danced with.
The Hangar Dance.
The Hokey-Pokey.
The hunched posture teenage girls get from texting all the time.
The Lambada: The Forbidden Dance.
The Life of Robert Johnson: The Illustrated Children’s Book. Note: Robert Johnson was a blues musician who
sold his soul to the Devil for guitar-playing skills.
The most convoluted pricing structure ever.
The number of fallen angels who can blues dance on the head of a pin.
The underrepresentation of African-American dancers at Blues events.
The wearing of lingerie as clothing while sweatily dancing.
The wrong kind of gluten-free bread.
Their attractiveness doesn't match their dance ability.
Three-way dances.
Trip hop.
Twerking.
Two Step.
Two way objectification.
Ugly Exchange Tee-shirts.
Unshaven female armpits.
Wandering hands.
Westies.
Wishing that people would look at you as a piece of meat instead of merely dance candy.
Cards and Punishment Vol. Two
http://www.cardsandpunishment.com/
Created by Redditor theperk.
______. It's what's for dinner.

After years of work, I finally present to you my autobiography, A Life of ______.
At Burning Man, ______ is not only allowed, it's encouraged.
Bringing up ______ on a first date is a terrible idea. I know from experience.
Coming this fall: pumpkin spice ______!
Due to the monetary success of their recreational marijuana program, Colorado official are now considering the
legalization of ______.
Eat. Sleep. ______. Repeat.
Get busy ______, or get busy dying.
I gave her my heart, and she gave me ______.
I knew that I had to turn my life around when I woke up to find ______ in my belly button.
I know you are, but what am I?
I tried ______ and to my surprise, I didn't hate it.
If ______ was an Olympic sport, I'd win the gold medal.
In the future, we will refer to this year as “The Year of ______.”
Last night, I crossed ______ off my bucket list.
Looks like I picked the wrong day to quit ______.
My anaconda don't want none unless you got ______, hun.
She could look past the compulsive gambling, the severe alcoholism, and even the heavy drug use, but once
Amanda found out about ______, the marriage was over.
Sticks and stones may break my bones, but ______ will never hurt me.
Stop trying to make ______ happen. It's not going to happen.
To this day, Ryan thinks that his Chinese character tattoo translates to “bravery.” No one has the heart to tell him
that it really means “______.”
Today's forecast: Cloudy, with a chance of ______.
What is always worth spending the extra money for?
What is the meaning of life?
What seems like way too much work?
What was the cause of death?
What would you fill a piñata with to ruin a party?
What's a foolproof way to get rid of hiccups?
What's the best way to assert dominance?
What's the worst thing you could bring to a funeral?
Why am I so turned on right now?
You can't be told what ______ is. You have to see it for yourself.
You HAVE to check out this new bar. They have a drink called “______” that will rock your world.
8-year olds, dude.

A ball pit filled with elephant testicles.
A basic white girl.
A blumpkin.
A bond stronger than the bromance between Seth Rogan and James Franco.
A center for ants!?
A condom that expired in 1998.
A cool, dry place.
A late, but joyful visit from Aunt Flo.
A lot of extra skin.
A meat popsicle.
A particular set of skills.
A pretty mouth.
A short, ruthless brawl between the Oompa Loompas and the Lollipop Guild.
A Slip'N Slide® made of sandpaper.
A wacky waving inflatable arm-flailing tubeman.
An Australian kiss.
An innie weener.
Anything flammable, perishable, or potentially hazardous.
Attempting to impregnate the elderly.
Baby in a corner.
Being naughty and ordering dessert.
Being ugly and having no alibi.
Blank.
Blindly agreeing to all the terms and conditions.
Bloodying a sword.
Caitlyn Jenner.
Drinking your own piss.
Eating Flamin' Hot Cheetos® out of the toilet.
Free samples!
Getting too old for this shit.
Giving you up, letting you down, running around, and deserting you.
Having nipples so wide that they start to become one, like a unibrow.
Helen Keller.
Jared from Subway®.
Kim Jung-un's wee wang.
Knowing my way around a penis.
Licking the rim.
Magical Mormon underwear.
Making new holes to fuck.
Messing with Texas
Microwaving a watermelon, then silently fucking it until completion.
Mike Tyson repeatedly saying the word “moist.”
More than a mouthful of bodily fluids.
My famous anus.
My imaginary friend who likes to watch.
Not being mad, just disappointed.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder.
One for the homies.
Peeling a dick like a banana.
Permanent brain damage.
Propane and propane accessories.
Shitting in the shower and stomping it down the drain.
Slow-motion penile helicoptering.
Spitting.
Swallowing.
That thong, th-thong-thong-thong.
The endless possibilities of shrimp.
The events that allegedly occurred during my blackout.
The first time I tasted semen.
The fullest extent of the law.
The man inside me.
The realization that new baby smell is actually just placental marinade.
The same mistake, twice.
The shit that comes out of Donald Trump's mouth.
The worse toilet in Scotland.
This one time at band camp.
Tiny child balls.
Trusting a fart that shouldn't be trusted.
Trying to poop silently.
Two men with impossibly tangled beards.
Unplugging it, then plugging it back in.
Using Grandpa's ballsack and leg for an impromptu game of tetherball.
Vagina dentata.
Vaginal ventriloquism.
Walking around all day with a kazoo lodged in my butt.
What I want, what I really, really want.
______ was notably absent from the stripper convention this year.
American children are too spoiled and lazy to appreciate ______.

As part of its hazing process, the frat forced its recruits to try ______.
Deviating from his usual landscapes, Bob Ross painted ______ in his most recent episode.
Experiencing ______ for ten minutes really changed my perspective on everything.
Hidden behing the Mona Lisa, scientists recently found Da Vinci's original subject: ______.
I a surprise move, Donald Trump recently changed his campaign slogan to, “Make ______ great again.”
I don't know what will cause my second divorce, but my third divorce will be caused by ______.
In his latest philanthropic effort, Bill Gates plans to donate billions of dollars to support ______.
In the next election, voters must choose between ______ and ______.
Love without ______ is an empty experience.
Mom always told me not to leave home without ______.
My biggest regret is ever getting involved with ______.
My first major was Philosophy, but I recently switched to majoring in ______.
My newest bumper sticker shows everyone that I support ______.
The newest intramural sport involves ______.
The newest iPhone now includes an app for ______.
The only evidence at the crime scene was ______ and a bunch of semen.
Up next on VH1: “I Love ______.”
We tried to fix it but ______ is going to ruin the next generation.
What caused the gangbang to get off to a slow start?
What made watching the movie with my parents awkward?
A awkward family dinner.

A battle to the death.
A bucket of ham.
A bunch of honking honkers.
A crusty Fleshlight.
A decroded piece of crap.
A dick that tastes like shit.
A disobedient slave.
A drilldo.
A fork in a world of soup.
A freshly-dumped sorority girl.
A funky ball of tits from outer space.
A gift basket from The Body Shop.
A gnarled, wooden dildo, dried in the sun and still covered in bark.
A greasy pork sandwich served on a dirty ashtray.
A heavy dribble of precum.
A horny nun.
A meat whistle.
A mountain of bills.
A nagging wife.
A plastic bag drifting though the wind.
A poop chute.
A prolapsed rectum.
A regrettable tattoo.
A robe and wizard hat.
A spontaneous musical number.
A steaming pile of shit.
A surprise boner.
A surprisingly low amount of prison rape.
A surprisingly resourceful monkey.
A threesome with my parents.
Abortion protestors.
An anal suppository.
An unintended sleepover at Bill Cosby's house.
Anal rejuvenation.
Another fucking children's concert.
Apologizing during sex.
Being a functional alcoholic.
Being a good little girl.
Biting your upper lip in a sexy way.
Breast reduction surgery.
Checking someone's oil.
Cock blocking.
Cock magic.
Cognitive bias.
Covering yourself in Vaseline, laying on the floor, and pretending to be a slug.
Cunny muscles.
Desperately trying to unhook a bra.
Dodging the draft.
Doing the breaststroke in a pool of semen.
Dong.
Drinking all the hot tub water.
Dry humping so hard that your genitals get raw and sore.
Endless road construction.
Exchanging six cents worth of beads to see breasts.
Exploring my sexuality.
Feminine hips.
Fingering a corpse.
Fucking my cock.
Fully-clothed women.
Gender bending.
Getting anally probed.
Getting caught up in a pyramid scheme.
Getting fat.
Getting my nuts caught in a zipper.
Getting peed on by a dog and becoming its legal territory.
Getting sneezed on by a homeless person.
Girls who say they're 18, but aren't.
Girly poops.
Grandpappy's scrotum.
Groping.
Having some feelings in the rain.
Homeopathic remedies.
Homoerotic Jello wrestling.
Hunting humans for sport.
Illegal aliens.
Indentured servitude.
Invasive advertising.
Irrational optimism.
Kate Upton's rack.
Kegels.
Literally charming someone's pants off.
Living in sin.
Manboobs.
Masturbating into a condom.
Masturbating with the other hand.
Milking the prostate.
Naked cooking.
Our Lord and Savior.
Packing fudge.
Penis paraphernalia.
Period blood.
Permed pubes.
Picking up the soap.
Playing “Doctor” with a hot cousin.
Playing tummy sticks.
Rosie O'Donnell's minge.
Running and shitting at the same time.
Running naked backwards through a field of dicks.
Shooting stuff from a helicopter.
Snorting a chopped up Altoid.
Some fruitcake.
Stained granny panties.
Starting a new religion.
Sticking it in.
Sucking Santa's cock.
The driest vagina this side of the Mississippi.
The mixture of fluids in my underwear right now.
The royal penis.
The stench of unwashed balls.
The triumphant return of my STD.
The ugly friend.
The Westboro Baptist Church.
Too much tuna.
Turning 40.
Two chicks at the same time, man.
Used Q-tips.
Using a selfie stick during intercourse.
Using alcohol as a social lubricant to compensate for a crippling
inability to establish coital consent.
Using Icy Hot as lube.
Vagina boogers.
Vague status updates that may or may not be about you.
Weenies.
Worms.
YouTube comments.
Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode II - A New Low

______ is why I need feminism.

A wise man once said, “What doesn't kill you makes you ______.” I stand before you today as living proof that
this is true.
After gay marriage, God has now ordered Kim Davis to stop ______.
Anyone else surprised the Nobel Prize for ______ went to ______ this year?
As always here at TED, we've saved the best for last. Please give a very warm welcome to ______, here to give
us an extra long, five-hour talk on how to deal with ______.
Congratulations maggots, you're almost there. Now if you can survive ______ for the next 24 hours, you can call
yourself a Navy Seal.
Do with me what you want, America does not negotiate with ______.
Every Sunday, a couple of Jehovah's Witnesses bang on my door to ask if I want to talk about ______. I say yes
every single time. Who wouldn't?
Fans were shocked when it was announced that in the next movie, besides being Batman, Bruce Wayne is also
______.
FBI just released a list of the biggest national security threats: 1. ISIS 2. Mexican drug cartels. 3. ______.
I didn't choose ______, ______ chose me.
I hate all these silly conspiracy theories about JFK. Every sane person knows what really killed him was ______.
I promise that if I'm elected president, I will build a giant wall to keep ______ out of our great country.
I think I'll be treating kids to ______ instead of candy this Halloween.
I went on a spiritual journey to India hoping to find ______, but instead all I found was ______.
If we got rid of slavery, why can't we get rid of ______?
In this very special episode of Dora the Explorer, Dora and Boots discover first-hand what it is like to be ______.
Last night, I had a horrible nightmare. I was on my knees, dressed in an orange jumpsuit and about to be
beheaded by ______ in the name of ______.
Last week on my nightly stroll, I was bitten by ______. Now I have a unquenchable thirst for ______.
Like Santa, ______ is something only children and fools believe in.
Matt Damon and Ben Affleck became best friends right after discovering their mutual love for ______.
Mom grounded me for three weeks after she found out I had made out with ______ behind the bleachers.
Mom, stop treating me like ______! All kids are into ______ these days.
My favorite MacGyver episode is where he escaped ______ using only ______.
My teachers always used to tell me nothing good would come of me. Well, jokes on them, because today I can
proudly say I am ______.
Never let anyone tell you that you can't do something. Look at me. I used to be ______, but now I'm ______. If I
can do it, why can't you?
Sorry, can't meet you for lunch tomorrow. Why? Oh, didn't I tell you? I'll be ______ all day. It's my first time, so
I'm a bit nervous.
The King is dead, long live ______.

The Medal of Honor is normally given out for exceptional bravery. However, my great-grandfather Earl got it
because he was ______ in WWII.
The only thing we have to fear is ______.
To be ______ or not to be ______, that is the question.
Today I renounce ______ and accept Jesus as ______.
Viagara? No thank you. I simply staple a picture of ______ to my wife's forehead. That's all I need to go all night.
Well hello, gorgeous, never seen you in here before. I'm ______. And what's your name?
What is the world coming to when you can win an Oscar® just because you're ______?
What you call ______, I call a fun Saturday afternoon.
When I go out, I go out blazing. Suicide by ______, baby, here I come.
When my husband asked me to dress up like ______ on our wedding night, I though tit would be a one-time
thing, but now he demands I do it every other Tuesday
You better turn around now and head back to where you came from, city boy. We don't take kindly to ______
around these parts, you hear?
Your dad and I are so proud of you! You know you're the first one in the family to be ______, right?
A 9/11 truther.
A baby daddy.
A basic bitch.
A bloodthirsty Arab.
A butterface.
A Christian Science scientist.
A counselor at gay rehabilitation camp.
A door-to-door Bible salesman.
A fancy suit made out of human skin.
A gay-for-pay pornstar.
A handjob that feels like sandpaper.
A Hooters® waitress.
A human toilet.
A jizz mopper at the local smut theater.
A male feminist.
A man born with two vaginas.
A men's rights activist.
A millenial.
A Nigerian prince.
A paranoid schizophrenic
A pervert.
A rad dude with long hair.
A renegade cop with a talking car for a partner.
A Russian mail-order bride.

A section 8 tenant.
A shirtless Channing Tatum poster.
A sugar daddy.
A Wall Street fat cat.
Accidentally sending Mom a dick pic.
ALF.
An anchor baby.
Attending the funeral of a fallen homie.
Bernie Sanders.
Bombing an abortion clinic.
Bringing democracy to faraway lands.
Chatting with lonely, bored and desperately horny housewives on Ashley Madison®.
Cheating with the 16-year-old babysitter.
Choking on a hippo dick.
Chugging down a bucket of giraffe cum.
Confiscating and burning books.
Curb-stomping some fool.
Daddies big disappointment.
Dirty Dancing.
Doctor Mengele.
Dodging alimony payments.
Double-crossing the Mob.
Dropping the soap in the prison shower, on purpose.
Eating the umbilical cord of a newborn.
Fat Elvis.
Floating aimlessly through life.
Fluffing on an underground, German bestiality porn set.
Fucking the delivery guy instead of simply giving him a tip.
Full-on socialism.
Gary Busey's drinking problem.
Getting high on bath salts and eating someone's face off.
Getting pooped on and laughed at.
Getting slapped in the face by multiple dicks.
Giving birth to a stillborn.
Giving out free shit to everyone.
Going on a bloody killing spree.
Grinding on a greasy stripper pole.
Howling at the moon.
Inbreeding.
Jewbacka, Chewbacca's rich Hollywood uncle.
Kanye talking about himself.
Kim Davis.
Livin' the thug life.
Living in a car.
Making obscene amounts of money.
Micheal J. Fox performing open-heart surgery.
Microwaving a cat.
Motorboating Katy Perry.
My bad boy image.
My confusing sexuality.
My gold-digging wife.
My high school bully.
My one black friend.
One of those hot teachers that has sex with her underage students.
Papa Smurf.
Peaceful Islam.
Pimp-slapping a hoe.
Purposely sending Mom a dick pick.
Rachel Maddow's boyish charm.
Receiving the death sentence.
Refusing to marry the gays.
Saying “eh” and “aboot” every other word.
Selling drugs to sixth graders.
Shoving a straw through someone's eyeball and sucking their soul out.
Soliciting sex from an undercover cop in drag.
Spreading Christianity by force.
Stealing my best friend's boyfriend.
That crazy Baldwin brother.
The creepy family friend who fondled my buttocks as a child.
The donkey that chewed off my daughter's arm.
The Grand Wizard of the KKK.
The Jewish conspiracies all around us.
The leader of Boko Haram.
The mailman that conceived me.
The Reverend Al Sharpton.
The star quarterback.
The target in a bukkake video.
The toothless, destitute gentleman who gave me AIDS.
The unidentifiable human remains in my refrigerator.
The void my dad left behind when he abandoned us.
The whimpering cries for mercy from a conquered enemy.
Travelling back in time and hooking up with Young Mom.
Turning into animals and impregnating women.
Twerking in a Speedo®.
Wearing a headscarf so as not to piss off Allah.
Wearing a short skirt without any panties.
http://www.apostrophegames.com/
_____ is the one thing I can't live without.

_____ is way better in virtual reality.
_____: the best thing since slices bread.
After smoking too much weed, I thought I was being chased by _____.
All day I dream about _____.
All that and a bag of _____.
Close only counts with horse shoes and _____.
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful. Hate me because I'm _____.
Due to a clerical error, _____ is still legal in Mississippi.
ESPN is now broadcasting the new sport: Major League _____.
Fortune cookie says: Nothing is impossible if you have _____ in bed.
Getting street cred the only way know how; ______.
I never got a speeding ticket, but I once got _____.
I'm raising money on Kickstarter to fund _____.
I'm selling a kidney to pay for _____.
If I could take one thing with me to the afterlife, it would be _____.
If you're not supposed to eat _____, why does it taste so good?
In the future, the government will send someone back in time to warn us about _____.
Kazakhstan is now the world's number one exporter of _____.
Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about _____.
Mattel's newest toy, _____, is selling like hotcakes.
Next to ISIS, the biggest threat to global security is _____.
Nothing is certain but death and taxes and _____.
Smokey the Bear says, "Only you can prevent _____".
The military is stepping up its efforts on operation _____.
The next summer Olympics will feature the new event: _____.
The shame that only comes from _____.
The United Nation's new humanitarian mission will deploy _____ to third world countries.
There's nothing more mysterious than _____.
This season's hottest collectible is _____.
To get into an Ivy League School, you need a high GPA and a whole lot of _____.
Today, more and more relationships end because of _____.
Two's company, three's a crowd, four is _____.
Warning: Common side effects include _____ and _____.
What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Except for _____.
What keeps me up at night?
Why do I keep havintg children?
With friends like these, who needs _____.
You can't live a truly fulfilling life without _____.
You have to experience _____ before you can really appreciate _____.
A 50 Shades of Grey sex party.

A basket of deplorables.
A classic murder/suicide.
A collection of used pregnancy tests.
A courtesy flush.
A dad bod.
A desperate mall Santa with nothing to lose.
A dump so intense you have to shower afterwards.
A female erection.
A fist full of pubes.
A game of "find that smell".
A Game of Thrones incest scene.
A giant 300-pound Chinese baby wearing tinted aviator glasses.
A gynecologist digging deep…for compliments.
A half assed hand job.
A Hello Kitty fetish.
A huge bitch.
A lifetime of bad decisions.
A long overdue shower.
A prostate massage.
A Shake Weight.
A toaster that understands love.
Alternative facts.
An alien anal probe.
An old toothless woman sucking the jelly out of a donut.
Backhanded compliments.
Baked ass.
Balls in your mouth.
Bangkok prostitutes.
Being gay for pay.
Bestiality, but with balloon animals.
Big booty hoes.
Boats 'N Hoes.
Bumping uglies.
Chocolate salty balls.
Clean urine.
Clearing out the room with a fart.
Climaxing when the video starts to buffer.
College rejection letters.
College students turning alcohol into regret.
Competitive spooning.
Consensual sex with a gorilla.
Constantly wetting the bed.
Crime scene sex.
Crop dusting.
Doing something stupid like running a full marathon for fun.
Eating vagina like it's your job.
Erotic waterboarding.
Expired stool samples.
F***ing Millennials.
Fanny packs.
Farting on queue.
Flashing your genitals in public.
Free blood, no questions asked.
Free hugs.
Frenemies.
Getting handsy in the church confessional.
Getting hard for literally no reason.
Giving HIV patients a placebo.
Guys with calf implants.
Half a bottle of lube and a used condom.
Hepatitis A, B & C!
Hideous man boobs.
Hitting on women at Planned Parenthood.
Horny old men on Cialis.
Hot girl on girl action.
Humongous areolas.
Jerking it every chance you get.
Killing your enemies and eating them to gain their power.
Live streaming a circumcision.
Losing your virginity to a warm apple pie.
Making it rain.
Male lactation.
Martha Stewart's gold plated vagina.
Men getting mani-pedis.
Mormons who don't live in Utah.
My dumb friends.
Nipple clamps.
No child left behind.
Not safe for work email forwards.
Panther urine.
People who change gender every time they sneeze.
Pile after pile of expired condoms.
Poop on a stick.
Racist undertones.
Realizing too late that your medication is for rectal use only.
Refusing to vaccinate your kids. Not because you're anti-vaccine. You just hate your kids.
Reruns of The Golden Girls.
Sex on her period.
Shake 'n Bake.
Size Queens.
Sluts.
Straight up kicking a stranger in the face.
Taking your mother to prom.
Teaching old people to use computers.
Terminal diarrhea.
That awkward moment when you realize, not only is your fly down but, your dick is hanging out.
That friend who never shut up about Crossfit.
The Batmobile.
The buddy system.
The liberal bubble.
The morbidly obese using Slip 'n Slides.
Tinder bathroom hookups.
Tom Hanks shouting, "There's no crying in baseball!"
Trump's America.
Trying to pee with a massive boner.
TSA cavity searches.
Wetting your pants on purpose.
Women who pee standing up.
Zombie porn.
Cocks Abreast Hostility - Cock Pack Two: Fowls Deep

http://cocksabreasthostility.com/
Created by Redditor darth_vexos
Make America great at ______ again.

What does my German pen pal write to me about?
Three cheers for ______!
______ works in mysterious ways.
The power of ______ compels you!
After "the incident." we changed out safeword from ______ to ______.
Say what you will about ______, but at least it never killed anybody.
______: melts in my mouth, not in my hands.
Sure, ______ was an unlikely source of income during college, but $20 is $20, right?!
Four out of five dentists can't be wrong! You should try ______.
You haven't really been high until you've been ______ high.
For 50% of the people involved, ______ is hilarious.
Dear Penthouse Forum, it all started with ______.
Scientist now believe that ______ caused the dildo to become self-aware.
After ______, I don't take anything for granted.

What caused the lap dance to take an unexpected turn?
The only thing better than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is a ______ and ______ sandwich.
When they came for ______, I did nothing. When they came for ______, I sat idly by. But when they came for
______, they went too far.
New York's hottest new cocktail is called ______: one part bourbon, two parts ______, and a splash of ______.
The terrorists won when we had to give up ______.
You won't find this in textbooks, but ______ is the real reason the US entered World War II.
What is Dick Cheney's alibi for the night Justice Scalia died?
______ is no way to go through life. Kid.
In hindsight, ______ was probably ill-advised.
I didn't think I'd be that into pegging… until she tried ______.
Taking a selfie with Saddam Hussein's lifeless, hanging body.

The Cobblepot: only one in the slit, but three way in the shit.
Tribbing.
Actually menstruating that weird blue stuff from tampon commercials.
Billy Mays in a coke-fueled rage, beating the ever-loving shit out of the Slap-Chop® guy.
The awkward silence after someone farts in an adjacent bathroom stall.
Reciprocal foot fucking.
Swiping right. With my dick.
Watching so much pixelated Japanese porn that you can't help but rub one out whenever COPSis on.
Discovering a used condom in the last bite of an eclair.
The Bernie Sanders Post-Scarcity Communist Utopia.®
Affluenza.
The Huffington Post's page dedicated to sideboob.
Semi-procreation.
Homoerotic ass slapping amongst athletes.
The Spocker: two in the goo to live long, two in the poo to prosper.
High recidivism rates among minorities.
Honky-ass motherfuckers.
Hitler in a swastika-embroidered thong.
Overthrowing the burger kind to establish a burger democracy.
That new cunt smell.
Competitive shitting.
Hands, or as I like to call them, dick skinners.
David Cameron's bacon-flavoured balls.
Ordering baked anythingat the Holocaust Museum café.
Dildo Faggins and the Battle of Balls Deep.
Melanin.
Coed prisons.
Middle-aged white women in yoga pants.
Harnessing the athleticism of black people to finally win the World Cup.
Returning in a time machine to command armies of fascism to a sweeping victory in the 1940s.
The double Filet-o-Fish® sandwich available only during Lent.
Karl Rove's seventh chin.
Jerry Sandusky's Balls for Kids Foundation.
Becoming a gynecologist so you can feel up teenage vaginas without fear of legal repercussions.
The fight to legalize gay weed.
Blackface, but out of context.
Winning a United Negro College Fund scholarship to the Subway Sandwich University.
Praying toward Mecca at the 9/11 Memorial.
More than enough semen to fill an Olympic-sized pool.
CNN cutting away from the State of the Union to cover D-List celebrity tweets.
Gifting home pregnancy tests for the office white elephant Christmas party.
Steak Day at the strip club.
Drones Without Borders.
Harriet Tubgirl.
Curing Ebola after it becomes a problem for people who actually matter.
Bill Clinton's "other" woodwind.
Jared Fogle eating a little bit too fresh.
Celebrating Martin Luther King Day by eating fried chicken and talking during movies.
The Islamic State.
Optimus Prime having sex with a dishwasher.
Asians who sound white.
A handjob from Edward Scissorhands.
Bagging up baking powder and marketing it to rich white kids.
An actual skin flute.
Unsolicited anal pleasure.
Butt chugging Mentos® and Diet Coke®.
Meatspin.
Credit scores above 700.
One cock ring to rule them all.
A bald eagle named Small Government.
Bombing the shit out of Gaza.
Browsing second-hand G-strings at the Salvation Army.
Buttplugs?
Alabama: Sharia Law for Christians.
Lysergic acid diethylamide.
The Real Housewives of Hattiesburg, Mississippi.
RIMjobs.com: Blackberry's failed career portal.
Subtle dehumanization.
Republican Jesus.®
Almost having sex in a dream.
Bill O'Reilly's defense against the War on Christmas.
Artfully disguised network television sex scenes.
Jizz hands.
The North American Free Trade Agreement, or, NAMBLA.
A tattoo of Kim Kardashian taking a shit.
Mom's spaghetti.
Gatorade® for breakfast.
Tom Brady's deflated balls.
Bringing variety to the gangbang by suggesting we all use a different flavor of lube.
A mushroom stamp.
Toxic Shock Syndrome.
English cuisine.
Kitty porn.
Spicing it up in the bedroom with hot sauce on the end of a dick.
Sexual object-oriented programming.
A tickle taint parade.
Insisting that, after we finally solve the Mexican problem, we start deporting Puerto Ricans, too.
The Trump International Border Fence Hotel and Casino.
Putting some stink on it.
Three-and-a-half inches of raw power.
Coming to the sudden realization that if Superman were gay, he'd be the world's first Solar Power Bottom.
Circumcisior.
Shaq's massive horse cock.
Giving her the ol' Hot Cosby.
Helicopter dick.
Supreme Court justices who used to be into autoerotic asphyxiation.
Being able to fit two five-year-olds in your pants.
The gayest Keebler® Elf.
A hyper-realistic sex doll with a vaginal cavity modeled after a famous pornstar.
Cols Against Kentucky 2

http://www.kyforky.com/shop/misc/cols-against-ky-kentucky-cards-against-humanity-expansion/
Created by Redditor asiansteev. A Kentucky themed expansion. Successfully funded on Kickstarter on
January 11, 2016 raising $1,071 with 59 backers. Released on February 21, 2016.
Big Bone Lick State Park is much better than its original name, "______ State Park."
Do what?
Hey, while you're at the Piggly Wiggly's, could you pick me up ______?
Last week, three Florence teens climbed the water tower to paint ______.
My Old Kentucky ______.
There's a pot of gold at the end of every rainbow, but what's at the end of Cumberland Falls' moonbow?
What did those dudes on the Kentucky State Seal just barter? ______ for ______.
What started the Hatfield–McCoy feud?
What was always concealed inside Abraham Lincoln's stove-pipe hat?
[image of eastern gray squirrel]

A $90 million, full-size replica of Noah's Ark.
A mouthful of cicadas.
A two-liter of dip spit.
All the gold in Fort Knox.
An electric car with a "Friends of Coal" license plate.
An entire horse.
Ashley Judd's presence.
Blessing everyone's heart.
Calling all soda "coke."
Daniel Boone's foreskin cap.
Fucking Matt Bevin.
Getting elbow dropped from the top rope by "Macho Man" Randy Savage—OOOH YEAH!
Having sex in Mammoth Cave in order to join the "mile-low club."
How my Boss Hogg looks in these Daisy Dukes.
Jennifer Lawrence's endearing qualities.
Johnny Depp, dancing all sexy.
KY Jelly.
Lightning bug-flavored moonshine.
Melty Dippin' Dots.
Oregano, chili powder, sage, basil, marjoram, paprika, onion salt, garlic powder, salt, pepper and MSG.
Pappy Van Winkle and Coke.
Pawpaw flavored vape juice.
Shootin' shit.
Shoveling coal.
Some kind of bullshit vegan burgoo.
Some really sticky Kentucky Durban.
______: it's magically delicious.

______?
That's what she said.

"You have my sword."
"And you have my bow."
"And my ______!"
A new Russian dash-cam video shows ______, right there in the middle of the street!
An ounce of ______ is worth a pound of ______.
Apple® has announced a new device that promises to revolutionize the way we think about ______.
Audiences at Sundance were traumatized by Lars von Trier's controversial new film, "______."
Bentley's® latest ultra-high-end luxury sedan comes complete with ______, ______ and ______.
Dear Dan Savage, Please help. I am unable to achieve orgasm without ______.
Dear, your father and I found ______ and ______ in your bedroom.
I'm shocked, and frankly just a little disappointed.

Experts say that without careful management and conservation, ______ will disappear within our lifetimes.
From the people who brought you Sharktopus and Sharknado, Syfy's® next horror film combines sharks with
______.
Having abandoned his pleas for a return to the gold standard, Ron Paul is now promoting a ______-based
economy.
Hey man, you gonna come check out my show tonight? My new band is called "______."
I don't care what people say, ______ is not a crime.
I got some strange looks in the checkout line when the cashier noticed ______, ______ and ______ in my cart.
I have to admit... it took me a while to agree to it, but incorporating ______ into our wedding ceremony is a
decision I will never regret.
I quit my job as a bartender the night some jackass left me ______ as a tip.
I think I need to take Fluffums to puppy training: he has this terrible habit of ______.
I wish it were something simple--like peanuts or shellfish--but my doctor tells me I'm actually allergic to ______.
If people wouldn't be so quick to judge, I would give ______ to the person on my left in a heartbeat.
Michelle Obama outraged conservatives when she implied that ______ maybe wasn't such a bad thing.
My tour of the White House radically escalated when Secret Service caught a glimpse of ______ in my bag.
Netflix's® new original series is a sitcom based around ______ and ______.
Now that he has retired, Pope Benedict can finally devote time to his true passion: ______.
Oh, so you think you're too good for us now, little "Miss ______!"
The NSA wants to talk to me about an email I sent containing these key phrases:
WANTED: a clean, well-lit place for ______.
What I gotta give my Boo to get outta the doghouse?

When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I
am truly remorseful?
When you play the Game Of ______, you win or you die.
Why won't anyone sit with me?
Yea, though I walk through the valley of ______, I will fear no ______.
A 5 lb. bag of gummy bears.

A bachelor's degree in communication.
A bit o' the ol' slap and tickle.
A bitchin' Camaro.
A blanket with a hole in it.
A breakfast sausage with serious emotional problems.
A chair that likes to rape people.
A cunning stunt.
A good schtupping.
A gratuitous claymation sequence.
A hairshirt.
A husband bulge.
A jury of your peers.
A sense of resignation.
A slack-jawed yokel.
A stinky pinky.
A tender rodgering.
A warm, gently fragrant biscuit.
A were-salmon.
A younger, vastly more attractive spouse.
Agent Orange.
An angry little man.
An effeminate southern homophobe.
Applying to a new guild.
Barfing into a tiny, bejeweled handbag.
Being able to name all of the different kinds of olives.
Being able to name all the different kinds of olives.
Being circumcised with a deli slicer.

Being small but perfectly well formed.
Bitch tits.
Biting my toenails.
Blistering barnacles!
Bourbon pong.
Choking.
Cockissimo Fantastico, the legendary lover with the wondrous wang.
Cockulous Maximus, tremendous tallywacker of Tripoli.
Firm buttocks.
Gazpacho tactics.
Giving your pet lamb a Brazilian.
Hakuna matata, motherfucker.
Her dry, scaly hands.
Hiroshima.
Hooking up at a Tegan & Sarah concert.
Hooking up at a Tegan and Sara concert.
Japanese rope technique.
Kentucky Fried Children.
Killing hobos.
Making vigorous love to a Taco Bell® Beefy 5-Layer Burrito™.
Mesothelioma.
Minimum wage.
Mongolian "beef."
More dots!
My evil twin.
Not being too smelly, you know, in the cellar. Down Below.
One Direction.
One whose nether regions are vast and beckoning, like unto a corridor down which a frankfurter might be
thrown.
Opening for Sigur Roé s.
Painal.
Paula Deen's dietitian.
Poop soup.
Pooping in public.
Reptilians.
Rich Corinthian leather.
Rock bottom.
Running around like a guy with his chicken cut off.
Self-medicating.
Self-replicating fudge.
Slowly waving an oversized Jamaican flag.
Some minor bruising.
Something Elon Musk thought up while floating six inches above the floor in a meditative trance.
Spiking the juice at AA.
Sploosh!
Swallowing a cue ball.
Tacos.
Ted Nugent's cold, dead hands.
That thing with the spoon.
The cliterati.
The creative use of a pool noodle.
The French.
The reek of shame.
The smooth, unblemished skin of a child.
The soft love-honks of a lusty goose.
The whole goddamned thing.
The WNBA.
Those creamy atheist thighs.
Titty sprinkles.
Treason.
Tufted ears.
Uncontrollably retching at the mere mention of mayonnaise.
Using a zip-tie as an impromptu cock-ring.
Using tears as lubricant.
Wearing a blue fox fursuit on Casual Friday.
Wearing your IUD into an MRI.

______: not only, like, super gross? But like, from a feminist standpoint? Totallyproblematic.
______? Thanks Obama.
"The time has come," the Walrus said, "To talk of many things: Of shoes, and ships, and sealing-wax. Of
cabbages, and ______."
Although ______ provided excellent results, the ethics committee has decided that the practice can no longer
continue.
Amazon Prime membership now includes ______.
Chilean Seabass: $29
Caribbean Spiny Lobster: $38
______: Market Price
Citing demographics, Playboy has replaced nudity with ______.
Come with me on an adventure to the land of ______.
Concerned about diabetes? Watch for symptoms like ______ and ______.
George RR Martin says that ______ is preventing him from finishing his epic fantasy saga.
Grandma told me "child, everyone on this earth was born with a skill, and yours is ______. …So don't you
never do it for free."
If he were elected president, what would Bernie Sanders bring to the White House?
If you enjoy ______, it's because you are weak, your bloodline is weak, and you will not survive the winter.
In his new book, author David Sedaris details his life-long love affair with ______.
In order to stop my family from talking politics, I distract them with ______.
In the years ahead, pundits will debate the impact of the ______-gate scandal on Obama's legacy.
In today's news
what some conference,
are Donald
calling an act Trump made
of desperation, theheadlines when
conservative he denounced
billionaire Koch ______.
brothers are funding
______.
Mmmmm, ______! …and it's still warm!

My uncle has a wardrobe in his house that leads to ______.
New kicks, new clothes, ______ on fleek: Friday night, here I come.
Pardon me, may I have a moment of your time to talk to you about ______?
SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT.
That's my secret, I'm always ______.
The presidential election came down to a choice of either ______ or ______.
We found out what's causing your chest pain. We thinks it's a direct result of ______.
What am I waiting for?
What do I see in this inkblot? [inkblot graphic]
What's in the box?
What's my go-to baby shower gift?
Where were you when I needed you?
Without doubt, this is the golden age of ______.
3.7 billion women.

A 3-1/2 pound shit baby.
A blue waffle.
A chronic colonic.
A Cleveland Steamer.
A cock-gobbling cock-goblin.
A dumpster fire.
A hoo-hoo that bites your ding-dong.
A lemon party.
A little bit of spit-up.
A NEWWWW CAR!
A Planned Parenthood® clinic and non-kosher deli.
A positive pregnancy test from Craigslist.
Acknowledging that none of the dreams that you had as a child have come true.
Adele.
Agreeing with Donald Trump.
An ancient, malevolent entity.
Ariana Grande and her sisters Ariana Tall and Ariana Venti.
Asparagus pee.
Barbecuing what's left of the fetus.
Being a "gold star" lesbian.
Benghazi!
Bernie Sanders' sexy tickles!
Bristol Palin.
Brovaries.
Burning Man.
Cock cancer
Dank memes.
Dem lil' critters.
Dickin'.
Eating pussy with a knife and fork.
El Ninñ o.
Getting head from Kevin Spacey.
Ghost babies.
Hepatitis C.
Hillary Clinton's Kevlar-lined pantsuit.
Hitler? Hitler! Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler Hitler [last five "Hitler"s are in decreasing font size]
Huge, wobbly meat-curtains.
I would like to add you to my professional network on LinkedIn®.
Jared's six-inch kiddie meal.
Jesus H. Christ.
Jihotties.
Literally, anything else.
Making America great again.
Manspreading.
Mouth sounds.
My own two hands.
Nonstop helicoptering.
Nuking gay baby whales for Jesus.
Nun chunks.
Pegging.
Pissing in the popcorn.
Placenta polenta.
Profound autism.
Pungent butt-burps.
Pure evil.
Putting the pussy on the chainwax.
Releasing the Kraken.
Riding the struggles bus.
Rough, anonymous sex.
Scrotemeal.
Shia LeBeouf.
Sleep fapnia.
Smirnoff® the Wizard.
Someone who isn't me.
Sweater puppies.
Ten points for Gryffindor!
That woman.
The Academy of Fine Farts.
The Dewey Decimal System.
The hostages.
The other, other, otherwhite meat.
The person Mr. Rogers thought I could be.
The shortbus.
This. This right here. So. Much. This.
Touching the poop.
Trademark infringement.
Twincest.
Unspeakable atrocities.
Waiting for the bar to open.
______ is actually pretty hot.

______? What a wonderful idea!
______. GODDAMN IT, JAPAN!
______. I dare you…
A picture is worth a thousand words, and so is ______.
And on the 8th day, God created ______, and it was good.
He's absolutely magnificent! I bet his poop smells like ______.
I can't help but to think about ______ when I cum.
I did my holiday shopping too late, and ended up buying my daughter a pop-up book titled "______."
I don't actually like my boyfriend, but I stay in it for the ______.
I got a new tattoo, it looks a bit like ______.
I once won a mechanical bull riding contest, the prize was ______.
I struggled to get out of bed this morning, until I heard ______ knocking at my door.
If ______ is wrong, I don't want to be right.
If I was a ice cream flavor, I would be ______.
It was Colonel Mustard, in the study, with ______.
Kim Kardashian's ass is actually filled with ______.
My children are always so happy when they get to enjoy ______.
My new favorite sexual position is ______.
Oh no! ______! My only weakness!
Sesame Street really went downhill after Big Bird and Elmo had to confront ______.
The Bible is actually an extended allegory on ______.
The President is currently under fire from the opposing party for his "extremist stance" on ______.
This week, Teletubbies teach us about ______.
Today's soup is Cream of ______.
Tonight's Final Jeopardy category is ______.
Watching now as an adult, I realize all my favorite '80s cartoons have subtle references to ______.
When you're over new years resolutions and binge on ______.
You kids have it easy today. Back in my day we had to deal with ______.
You know things are bad when our Netflix recommendations are : ______.
A black guy in a white neighborhood.

A busload of racist frat boys from Oklahoma.
A case of the Mondays.
A complimentary prostate exam.
A customer with literally a million questions.
A cute, little old Asian lady trying to fight a lobster.
A good ol' fashioned game of "Is It Racist?"
A latex bodysuit with a genital opening.
A magical cupboard that brings sex toys to life.
A mouth for hire.
A naked old man in a sauna.
A strange and vaguely predatory attempt at friendship.
A water balloon filled with buffalo sauce.
A whiter, tighter vagina.
Alcohol-fueled Thanksgiving Day family fistfights.
An actual elephant in the room.
An oddly specific round of "Never Have I Ever."
Being gay in Russia.
Being majestic as fuck.
Being one day away from retirement in an '80s cop movie.
Being the caboose of a train.
Being the prettiest girl at the truck stop.
Billions of taxpayer dollars.
Borrowing someone's liver.
Cannot answer. Too drunk.
Dakota Fanning.
Dorothy using the Scarecrow as firewood.
Dr. Faggot.
Dropping a penny in a Jewish neighborhood.
Eating the banana peel.
Eliminating the party crashers by any means necessary.
Eye-fucking someone from across the room a little too hard.
Forgetting to say "No homo."
Fucking a blender.
Getting away with mass murder because you're a Christian.
Getting dumped by your left hand.
Getting spanked with a wooden spoon by Gordon Ramsay.
Getting the clap so many times it's basically applause.
Gonorrhea that was totally worth it.
Googling yourself.
Hardcore cuddling.
Having break-up sex by yourself.
Hitler, Stalin, the whole crew.
Inverted controls.
Kim Jong-un's stupid fucking haircut.
Making friends with that one weird white kid, just in case.
Masked strangers who knock on the door in the middle of the night.
Mighty Morphine Power Rangers.
Muscles you didn't even know you had.
Not fitting in.
OD'ing on placebos.
Organic cocaine.
Playing by the rules.
Proposing to your long-term girlfriend with a Ring Pop.
Punching them in the face with a hammer.
Realizing you're doomed to a life of mediocrity.
Rosa Parks calling shotgun.
Setting fat kids on fire to burn calories.
Sitting back and watching a blind man slowly walk off a cliff.
Special gloves.
Spelling dirty words while playing Scrabble with your kids.
Tainting the communion wafers with LSD.
Taking a nice drive …. through a playground.
Taking one look at your new baby, then shoving it back in.
That one fucking dead pixel in the middle of the screen.
That thing where you and a stranger keep blocking each other on the sidewalk while trying to pass.
The $19.99 Do-It-Yourself White Trash Wedding.
The element of surprise.
The Incident.
The inescapable anxiety that comes once you've run out of reasons to procrastinate.
The one that got away.
The regret that instantly follows paying $9.99 for pay-per-view porn.
Topless anime girls wearing cute panties.
Training your younger, better-looking replacement.
Unfathomable girth.
Watching TV with Mom and Dad when a sex scene comes on.
Watching your last dollar get ripped in half by the vending machine.
Whatever the kids are into these days.
Your sad little naked body.
Zero side effects.

Successfully funded on Kickstarter on December 13, 2015 raising £9,835 with 444 backers for both Edition 2
and Edition 3. Released on February 22, 2016.
______, For the person who has everything.

______. 60% of the time, it works every time.
______. Because size matters.
______. It's what your right arm's for.
A single death is a tragedy; a million deaths is ______.
Does anybody wanna play ______?
Growing up happens in a heartbeat. One day, you're ______; next day, you're ______.
Guns don't kill people, ______ kill people.
How am I going to kill myself?
I believe that the majority of life's problems can be solved with ______ and ______.
I don't understand all the stigma around ______. After all, I'm ______ and proud!
I would do anything for love, but I won't do ______.
Let's fight on of the most terrible diseases of all, ______.
No matter how hard I scrubbed, it was impossible to get ______ out of my ______.
The internet now makes ______ obsolete.
The true secret to happiness is ______.
There are two types of people in this world. ______ and ______.
There's always money in ______.
To stop myself cumming too soon, I imagine ______.
Two things are infinite. The universe and ______.
What is God's biggest mistake?
Why do I have an erection?
A complete lack of respect for the law.

A distinct lack of morals.
A fistathon.
A harem full o' bitches.
A heated debate on whether ginger people have souls.
A lumpy period.
A monkey blowjob.
A total clusterfuck.
A well placed thumb.
Accidental Discharge.
Actually drowning in cum.
Adopting orphaned children with the sole intention of recreating The Hunger Games.
Anal discomfort.
Anusol™ cream.
Astroglide™.
Being tied spread-eagle on a four-poster bed.
Bodily fluids.
Bruising the back of the throat.
Buggery.
Burying your dog.
Capital punishment.
Choir boys.
Coating your mouth with Ronald McDonald's special sauce.
Compassion for the handicapped.
Damn dirty apes.
Dangerous minorities.
Democracy.
Doing things to Ma, in front of Pa.
Domestic violence
Dumb luck.
Erogenous zones.
Every last drop.
Evolution.
Fat bitches fighting over a Twinkie.
Fecal vomit.
Feeling threatened by change.
Feeling turned on.
Getting caught rifling though your mother's knicker draw.
Hands-free ejaculation.
Having sex on tap, all thanks to your wife's dementia.
Hot Asian girls.
Inappropriate stroking.
Lindsay Lohan.
Lovely lady lumps.
Masturbating in public.
Menopause.
Mind-altering substances.
Moaning like a whore.
My crispy wank sock.
My cum face.
My first crush.
Neatly trimmed pubes.
Not trusting anything that can bleed for a week and not die.
Noticing that your dad's cock tastes different.
Organized religion.
Pissing blood.
Pointing at a complete stranger and whispering “You did this” the moment before you die.
Putting things right, that once went wrong.
Repressed memories.
Robin Williams.
Sex dolls that look ashamed.
Skid marks.
Slowly inching Buss Lightyear into your anal canal while shouting “To infinity and beyond”.
Snuff movies.
Some girl-on-girl action.
Sticky fingers.
Suppressing the gag reflex.
Swallowing.
Sweet, sweet revenge.
Tappin' dat ass.
Tearing the mask off nature and staring at the face of God.
The abortion clinic.
The abuse of power.
The Catholic Church.
The familiar taste of semen.
The feeling of impending doom.
The gay gene.
The Middle East.
The morally bankrupt.
The rhythm method.
The well endowed.
Three working orifices.
Thumbing in a softy.
Using a fat kid as a human shield.
Waxing your back, sack and crack.
When taking a shit feels more like you're bleeding a radiator.
White trash.
Your Mom.
Your touchy-feely uncle who isn't really your uncle.
Your wife's pussy before it was wrecked by childbirth.
JadedAid: Peace Corps Expansion Pack
http://jadedaid.com/
As a Youth Development Volunteer, I spent all day teaching children about ______.
Due to an "incident" our next safety and security training will be on ______.
How do you explain ______ to your friends back home?
I joined the Peace Corps for ______ but all I got was ______.
I just won a Small Project Assistance grant to bring ______ to ______.
My training didn't prepare me for ______.
The only thing more rewarding than ______ is ______.
The secret to getting your adopted African street dog back into the United States is ______.
The title of my Peace Corps memoir will be "______."
Today at the village school, we're painting a mural of ______.
A conveniently timed coup d'état
A failed attempt to promote quinoa cultivation
A good old-fashioned ethnic conflict
A long-awaited care package
Adeptly dodging marriage proposals
An unathorized trip to the capital
Being mistaken for the C.I.A.
Chasing your dinner
Christmas in a Muslim country
Complaining that 50 cents spent on lunch was a rip-off
Cultural "penetration"
Deciding what to ferment next
Defining "safer sex" as casual hookups under a mosquito net
Drinking G&Ts for the quinine
Fighting communism one naïve American at a time
Flip charts, so many damn flip charts
Having the courage to give up
Hiring a maid and justifying it as local job creation
Hooking up at pre-service training
Income generation projects that violate local labor laws
Lesbian until Close of Service
Malaria. Again.
Mastering how to covertly download porn at the internet café
Milking unusual animals
Millennium Drinking Goals
Nothing.
Peeing in a minefield
Playing the white card
Post-evacuation fellatio
Raising awareness about your awareness raising campaign
Realizing a consultant makes 4x your monthly pay in one day
Recreational Larium
Reusable menstraul products
Slaughtering a goat with a hammer and a kitchen knife
Squatting at just the right angle
Telling donors the truth
Terminating your service due to pregnancy
The cholera diet plan
The complex sounds of goats
The day it started to itch
The joy and jealousy of finding out you're not the only foreigner in town
The parasitic worm pulled from my butt
The sustainable, grassroots change that was supposed to come from that damn mural
The sweet smell of burning trash
Useless language skills
White Savior Barbie
Voter's Choice: The Second Expansion
______, the newest My Little Pony character.

Ah, High School. A place for ______ and ______.
Hello! Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior ______.
Hypothesis: ______
Experiment: ______
Conclusion: ______
I get to pick a porn name? Then I want to be called ______.

I was caught naked eating ______.
I'm too rich and famous for ______.
My strangest date ever involved ______.
Nobody seems to understand my religious philosophy at all. Especially the part about ______.
Screw the rules, I have ______.

Sometimes I think about having sex with ______.
The beloved leader, Kim Jong Un, astounds his people with the invention of ______.
Using ______ is my secret beauty tip.
What does Obama like on his chips?
When the stripper bent over and placed my nose squarely between her cheeks, it smelled like cotton candy and
______?
A broken heart, an empty wallet, and a bouquet of chlamydia.

A dick move.
A moist towelette.
A Tunnel of Gloryholes.
A yeast infection.
An itchy nipple.
Finally catching a leprechaun and then finding out you'll be taking his Lucky Charms, dry.
Having sex with the principal.
Highly racist Asian music.
In bed, pajama clad, non-sexual intimate touching.
Islamic goat porn.
Life-changing wisdom from Jade Smith's twitter account.
Off-duty Nazis just looking for a good time.
One Night in Paris.
Santa Claus teabagging a sleeping child, taking a picture and leaving it in the child's stocking.
Telling 9/11 jokes to the families of 9/11 victims.
The Satanic Verses.
Throwing your hands in the air and shouting Wheeee!
Two Floridians, $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes, and a baby fucking alligator.
When your dog's balls are bigger than yours.

______ has been scientifically proven to cause cancer.

______. The best way to spice up your sex life.
Amazingly, Japanese toy manufacturers have managed to make ______ irresistibly cute.
Bankrupt governments around the world are turning to ______ to generate additional revenue.
Brace yourselves, ______ is coming.
Christian Dior's radical new perfume was inspired by the smell of ______.
Don't Google ______. You're gonna regret it.
Drunk Me bought ______ online. Sober Me says thanks!
Exposure to ______ scarred me for life.
For your crimes against the people, I hereby sentence you to ______.
Friends don't let friends try ______.
I blew all my money on ______.
I tried baking a cake, but the directions were unclear. I ended up with ______.
I was no surprised to see ______ at the trailer park.
In war, there is no substitute for ______.

It's dangerous to go alone! Take ______.
Kids, don't talk to strangers. Especially the ones who try to give you ______.
My fortune cookie said: “______ is in your future.”
My shrink told me ______ would broaden my horizons.
Nobody knows how, or why, ______ became wildly popular in Iceland.
Pixar had to cut ______ from their latest movie in order to keep it G-rated.
Straight outta ______.
Video games taught me important lessons about ______.
What did I regrettably buy from a street vendor?
What do I not want to find in my Hot Pocket.
What is Helen Keller surprisingly good at?
What made things awkward during the orgy?
What's my fantasy?
You like my cupcakes? I made them myself. The secret ingredient is ______.
You. Me. ______. Now.
A bag of hammers.
A blow-up sex doll that really likes you, but just wants to be friends.
A box filled with horse shit.
A career-ending blowjob.
A chick whose carpet doesn't match the drapes.
A craigslist hook-up that went better than expected.
A cricket trained to chirp during awkward silences.
A game of Cards Against Humanity that turns into an orgy.
A gay security guard getting fired from his job at the sperm bank for drinking on the job.
A hat so nice it classes up the rest of your shitty wardrobe.
A light switch that doesn't do a goddamn thing.
A massive swastika tattoo.
A mobile abortion clinic.
A musical salute to sideboob.
A near-fatal pumpkin spice overdose.
A pregnant lady with feet hanging from her vagina.
Accidentally shooting your girlfriend through a bathroom door.
An Asian invasion.
An ass with more dimples than a golf ball.
An insensitive opinion that violates your safe space.
Apologizing for having a boner.
Asking an Auschwitz survivor for her digits.
Being all classy and shit.
Being arrested and beaten by the fashion police for wearing white after Labor Day.
Being so cool they kick you out of school.
Blaming whitey.
Booing at the Special Olympics.
Butt-dialing someone and leaving a voice mail consisting of farts.
Charles Barkley's bald head.
Crushing people's hopes and dreams, just for fun.
Crying racism every time some asks for their coffee black. (sic)
Crying racism when you don't get your way.
Darth Vader ass-fucking Leia while yelling, “Who's your daddy?”
Disastrously misunderstanding the purpose of a whale's blowhole.
Discovering you have a latex allergy while losing your virginity.
Dismembering your business partner in the basement with a chainsaw.
Drinking milk on a warm summer day.
Driving a busload of senior citizens to the Gran Canyon.
Ethiopian Hunger Strike.

Finding pubes in your toothpaste.
Finding the droids you were looking for.
Fucking Communists.
Getting divorced over a game of Monopoly.
Getting hammered on vanilla extract.
Going to Paris to eat snails, but getting filled with slugs instead.
Harvesting the organs of the homeless.
Having your sexual partner wear a horse mask because you're not ready for real bestiality yet.
Hitler's gas bill.
Hitting it until it works.
Hobbit porn starring Dildo Backends.
Holding in a fart on a crowded airplane.
Insuring your own ass.
Ladies, gentlemen, and the undecided.
Leaving “get a better job” as a tip.
Masturbating furiously to the goriest episode of “Attack on Titan.”
My Internet search history
Neighbors with Benefits.
Only getting 71 virgins, due to a clerical error.
Painting a house with only a potato gun and a bucket full of gerbils.
Parking like an asshole.
Peeing in two directions due to dried semen.
Permanent duckface.
Playing Spin The Bottle at a family reunion.
Putting glass shards in your ex's Fleshlight.
Rapping with a speech impediment.
Seeing Daddy blowing Santa Claus underneath the mistletoe.
Selena Gomez.
Setting a hobo on fire just to feel something again.
Setting someone on fire at Burning Man.
Singing “Beauty and the Beast” in a Mexican accent.
Slapping the dick right out of someone's mouth.
Socially acceptable genocide.
The countless times the Toy Story toy were forced to watch Andy masturbate.
The feeling of being utterly worthless.
The middle of a cruel winter.
The token white guy on any NBA team.
When only one half of a pair of Siamese twins wants sex.
Your life expectancy dropping to “next week.”
Your Mom!
The Worst Card Game: 2016 National Edition

http://uncalledfour.com/product-category/the-worst-card-game/
Cards created by stand up comedians that participate in "the most offensive comedy game show in
Denver": Uncalled Four, an interactive crowd experience loosely based on the #1 card game in
America.
Editor Note: The response cards include a citation with the Twitter handle of the comedian that created the
card. That information is included in the Footnotes column for those that wish to have it.
Check out my new podcast about ______ and ______.

Cuba's new tourism campaign: come for ______, stay for ______.
Don't blame me, I voted for ______.
Float like a butterfly, sting like ______.
For the price, you’d think a self-driving car could also include ______.
How did I alone break the Chicago Cubs' curse?
How do I know if I have the Zika virus?
I got hot sauce in _____ swag.
It didn't take long before ______ replaed Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill.
No justice, no peace, no ______. #BlackLivesMatter
Republicans vowed to only approve a Supreme Court justice that supports _______.
The only thing Harambe was truly guilty of was ______.
They never would have legalized marijuana in California without ______.
What are you prying from my cold, dead hands?
What did they find in Prince's vault?
What do vaccines really prevent?
What should be banned in North Carolina bathrooms?
What was my favorite event at the 2016 Rio Summer Olympics?
9/11: Forgive and forget.

A bathtub full of Jared from Subway's lost fat that he used as lube with underage girls. (I'm sorry.)
A cat named Magic beating feline AIDS.
A concetration camp counsellor.
A dick made out of hot sauce.
A dick so old it cums dust.
A flask that doubles as a dildo so your alcoholism can finally finish fucking you.
A fun-filled suicide pact.
A lady in a wheelchair racing a Slinky® down a staircase.
A lubed up butthole that sings like James Taylor instead of farting.
A magical horse with a horn that you fuck called a Screwnicorn.
A mommy blogger seconds away from drowning her children in the bathtub.
A mouth full of soft dick.
A new assault rifle called the JFK-47.
A smaller, whiter vagina.
A tanning bed that makes you racist.
A wilderness survivalist who sucks his own dick for protein.
Adding a landing strip to your ass.
Aggressively maintaining eye contact with my gynocologist.
Airbnb but for people who need to shit.
American't.
An abused circus elephant named Donald Trunk.
An awkward father daughter dance boner.
An NRA member blowing a gun through a glory hole.
Being racist only towards those pesky Native Americans.
Big titties OR little titties, I don't give a fuck!
Bigfoot's underwhelming penis.
Breast implants made from crumpled newspaper.
Captain Sandy Hook (a bunch of dead children dressed in a trench coat trying to pass as a sea captain).
Child porn, meaning porn starring adults but written and directed by children.
Clearing Eric Clapton's son off of the sidewalk.
Clitoral paper cuts.
Colonic chronic: Poo that gets you high.
Covering up the tattoo of a past lover with a c-setion scar.
Dick tears.
Dressing up as a baby and fighting everyone at Planned Parenthood.
Eating out Harriet Tubman for the password to the Underground Railroad.
Explaining the dick on your friend's face to his mother when you hadn't realized he died of alcohol posioning.
Explaining to the court why it's really the Jews who should be on trial here.
Farting on a ranom baby.
Finding a condom at the very center of the turducken.
Finding your dad's paraplegic porn collection and realizing why he beats your mom.
George Zimmerman auctioning off his gun to buy Skittles® and hoodies.
Googling "how many dick warts is too many dick warts?"
Having wet nightmares.
Hitting another person with another person.
House strippers ruining your zucchini.
Instagramming your abortion #blessed.
Jizzing on the wrong kid and not knowing what to say to the guy you paid.
Kissing Hillary Clinton's thighs after running a 5K.
Lip gloss for the labia.
Lucy in the sky with diseases.
Masturbatinhg to pictures of your mom's tits when you're hungry.
Meeting your birth father through Tinder.
Nut skin frozen to a steel pipe.
O.J. Simpson's application for Uber.
Obama's nickname for his wife's vagina: "The Oval Orifice."
Pixar's first snuff film.
Pubes held together in a little ponytail holder.
Quietly tucking my penis under my belt.
Realizing she's dead, but finishing anyway.
Referring to your vagina as "The Wage Gap."
Roofying her just for some god damn peace and quiet.
Rubbing my period pussy on Steve Harvey's teeth.
Scuba poopin'.
Seriously fighting your shadow because you suffer from dementia and racism.
Sniffing the bike seats at a women's gym.
Spanx for your personality.
Squirting after eating asparagus.
Standing there knowing you could fuck that kid back to life.
Sucking a dick so small you have to fake choke and gag just to be nice.
Sucking on titties like you're trying to get the cancer out.
Summer School II: Still Can’t Read.
Taking a friend's kid on a walk and coming back with a dog instead.
Taking your daughter on a trip to Africa to get rid of that pesky clit.
Tampons for squirrels.
That floating plastic bag from American Beauty, but full of diarrhea.
The cigar Donald Trump keeps in his daughters.
The country where people die from gun violence all the time but people still want more guns.
The dark secret behind the Special Olympics that nobody talks about.
The scent of an excited Oprah.
The smooth, creamy taste of Neverland Ranch Dressing.
The tiny slave owner that lives under Pharrell's hat.
Throwing cats into ceiling fans.
Traveling back in time to find Hitler and suck his dick.
Trying incest because she's such a good cook.
Twincest.
Voting with my vagina by mashing it against all the buttons.
Wolverine's ever-regenerating foreskin.
Special Set

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*This is a real book. Response

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*Fleshlights are male
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*Liberator.com sells
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sex toys used for
electrical sensation
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*Attending to the
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after an S&M scene. Response
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*Teledildonics is sex
ata distance via
mechanical means. Response
Response
Response
*A Sybian is a high-
powered, riding
vibrator. Response
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*Hobby Lobby is a
very conservative
Christian store. Response
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*A bullet is a small
vibrator. Response
Response
*Fetlife is a social site
for people who are
into non-traditional
sex and relationships. Response
Response
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*Good, Giving, and
Game. Roughly, “fun
in bed.” Response
Response
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*A very formal set of
rules with focus on
the Dom. Response
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*A term used for a
well-behaved female
submissive. Response
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*See movie “The
Secretary.” Response
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*Performing anal sex
on using a strap-on. Response
Response
Response
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*Japanese rope
bondage. Response
Response
Response
*Female ejaculation. Response
*A type of depression
that may occur after
an intense S&M
scene. Response
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*A high-powered,
plug-in “massager.” Response
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*Gloves with multiple
points used for
sensation play. Response
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Special
DRAW 2, PICK 3
PICK 2
PICK 2
Special
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Special
PICK 2
PICK 2
Special
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PICK 2
DRAW 2, PICK 3
Special
PICK 2
Special v1.0 OC v1.0 v1.1 Set
OC = OmniClaw






OC v1.0 v1.1 Prompt
Pick 2 v1.0 Prompt

Prompt
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Special Footnotes
PICK 2
PICK 2
@MessengerTim
@kurtbraunohler
@BenRoy00
@mattkirshen
@SuperMariBro
@bethstelling
@timmitown
@ByronFG
@ronferguson
@braunger
@NathanLund
@bornferal
@JohnRoycomic
@yoHendo
@FunnyJill
@haleydrizcoll
@chrisfairbanks
@HippiemansPlan
@RachelFogletto
@AndrewHealan
@MattKnudson
@codyspyk
@jodeechampion
@solomongeorgio
@WhitmerThomas
@UltraSexLaser
@IanKarmel
@TheOverdahl
@MayorOfFartTown
@JonoZalay
@oldmanweldon
@jordancomedy
@MaraWiles
@FemmeShark
@germy_noll
@super_mallory
@charpiecomedy
@alliroseson
@SeanWhiteComedy
@drodsgotjokes
@RazorLou
@SamJayComic
@adammamawala
@bigmanmike
@zachreinert03
@DulceSloan
@DarthVaderploeg
@guybranum
@MikeDrucker
@HeyMonroe
@philpalforshort
@Jimhickox
@sixfeetofsnow
@cabuchsy
@bcgoldthwait
@megangailey
@TallentSam
@Hamptonyount
@kingfirestorm
@westonunruh
@TheMikeHammock
@aaronurist
@bensbryant
@AmyMiller
@babysfirstgun
@MaasComedy
@GregEllisComedy
@joshgondelman
@Mishdeswarte
@danielreskin
@solikebasically
@TotallyAllen
@caytonholland
@WanjikoIAm
@GBaumhauer
@AhamedWeinberg
@PaulBrittain3
@caseywley
@drapertweets
@steveagee
@BtGcomedy
@JoshuaSkillman
@HarrisAlterman
@reformedwhores
@noahgcomedy
@Deacon_Gray
@ElizaSkinner
@ROBOTCAITLIN
@ComicMitchJones
______. — You go Girl!

______ is the best indication why Asians are such bad drivers.
______ is the leading cause for blindness in white males.
______ is wasted on the youth.
Amelia Earhart didn't die flying a plane, she is living on an island surrounded by ______.
As a small child, I used to feed my goldfish ______.
During my last dominatrix relationship we always used ______ as our safe word.
Forgive me Father I have ______.
Growing up, Mama always told me life is like a box of ______.
Hopefully, in our generation, we will solve the problem of ______.
I didn't believe the gossip tabloids about ______, until I watched the videos.
I like my coffee like I like my women: strong and ______.
In Poland, the #1 cause of infant mortality is ______.
My father never loved me because I was addicted to ______.
Now is my time: I'm young, dumb and full of ______.
The best selling book this year was ______ written by John Mccain.
The greatest cosplay ever: ______.
The new Ford Windstar. Built for stability with plenty of cargo space for ______.
The Red Cross is currently providing ______ to poverty stricken areas of Africa
The US civil war wasn't about slavery, it was about ______!
What are high school sex-ed classes using to stop the increasing trend of early pregnancies?
What did I get my Mom for Mother's day?
What is happening right now in North Korea?
What is that clawing noise from the basement?
What keeps me warm during those long, bitterly cold, winter nights?
What makes Grandpa yell at night?
What makes the world think Americans are lazy?
Women are insecure about themselves because men only think about ______.
Your account has been banned. Motive: ______.
Your Dad is so stupid he ______.
A bukaki party.
A bum's asshole.
A Columbian neck tie.
A free abortion clinic.
A prostate examination.
A rusty trombone.
A ton of poop.
A virgin with a tongue piercing.
Al Gore's asshole.
Amy Winehouse's Sobriety.
An ugly cow of a Norwegian woman.
Anal beads.
Ass plugs.
Banana hammock.
Barebacking.
Bi-Polar disorder.
Blaming the Jews for world problems.
Bloody wankers.
Bong water.
Brazilian brothels.
Bright lights.
Butt pirates.
Butt stuff.
Caitlyn Jenner's tits.
Cellphone salesmen.
Cheating on your significant other.
Conspiracy theories.
Cum dumpster.
Cum guzzlers.
Dead babies.
Donald Trump.
Dry anal sex.
Erectile dysfunction.
Fox News.
Fred Durst.
Giving a champagne facial.
Grandma's depends.
Having sex with a dead baby fetus.
Impregnating women in 3rd world countries.
Jamie Foxx.
Japanese Tourists.
Kenny Fucking Powers.
Licking a dirty vibrator.
Licking genitals.
Masturbating in front of the family pet.
My old high principal having sex with the lunch lady.
Neo-Nazis.
Nerdy Asian teenagers.
Obsession.
Ol' Dirty Bastard.
Ordering dessert after calling off a wedding engagement.
Pablo Escobar.
Paris Hilton's sextape.
Pedophiles.
Post Traumatic Stress disorder.
Raping a group of celibate nuns.
Receiving oral sex.
Selling deceased animals to blind and deaf children.
Sharp objects.
Smashing lawn ornaments in a neighboring cul-de-sac.
Snorting cocaine from a stripper's asshole.
Southern Bible Thumpers.
Southern gentlemen.
Stealing condoms from your parents.
Stealing from the less fortunate.
Stinky cunts.
Sweat soaked armpit hair.
Thai lady boys.
The come down after an epic drug trip.
The inside of your mother's anus.
The running of the Jew.
The Star of David.
Thongs.
Throwing fists full of marbles in front of blind people.
Tongue punching a fartbox.
Unexpected nudes.
Using saran wrap as a makeshift condom.
Watching a married woman cheat on her husband.
Weed edibles.
White snake marinated in underwear sauce.
Carbs of the Huge Manatee - Online Dating Expansion 1

http://www.amazon.com/Carbs-Huge-Manatee-Online-Expansion/dp/B01789331S
Several of the cards have footnotes explaining the terminology used on the cards. Those are included in
this list in the Footnotes column.
You think your last date was bad? My date thought that buying me ______ was a reasonable substitute
for buying me dinner.
Why did I dump my significant other the day before Valentine's Day?
While on the phone with his Mom, I seriously distracted my boyfriend with ______. It's a good thing I didn't
laugh when she asked if something was wrong.
What helped me get my last girlfriend?

What disturbed me most about the person who contacted me from Plenty of Fish?
The two most awkward topics of conversation during our date at the church picnic? ______ and ______.
The first date went so well... So why did the second date end?
People say that the first thing they notice about me is ______, but let's be honest, it's actually ______.
Not a single profile picture gave me a good view of their face or figure, however, all of the pictures made
their interest in ______, quite obvious.
My six things I can't live without? Air, Friends/Family, iPhone, Good wine, Internet, ______, and ______.
Yeah, that's seven, but I'm a rebel.
My partner uses ______ to mark their territory.
My date apparently could see auras. What did she see from my past that left her terrified and in the fetal
position?
Must love Jesus and ______.
It's one thing to have their dog stare at you while you're making out, It's another to be stared at while
______.
I'm looking for a partner in crime. The crime? ______.
I wasn't able to talk my girlfriend into ______, but it was surprisingly easy to talk her into ______.
I really love both Kari and Stephen, but the deciding factor between the two is simple. ______.
I had no idea she was interested in me until we both got really drunk and found ourselves ______.
I deserve an Academy Award for not reacting when he started talking about ______ 10 minutes into our
first (and last) date.
For our anniversary, we went to a lovely little bed and breakfast, where they're known for their wine cellar
and their ______.
During the date, I found out that he really likes ______ and ______ at the same time. I'm NOT okay with
that.
Admit it. You would like to spend the night ______ with at least one person at this table.
“I'm off my meds so I may be a bit weird.”

63 new messages saying either “Hay” or “Wanna fuck?”
A coyote date where you're willing to chew your own arm off to get away.
A date so awful you reevaluate your orientation.
A deep, meaningful relationship... started on Tinder.
Aging out of the online dating pool.
An awe-inspiringly generic profile.
Being dumped on your birthday.
Being on a date where every single question is answered with the statement, “I'm no comfortable talking
about that.”
Being very concerned about “The Surgery” they keep referring to.
Calling out you date for attempting Pick Up Artist techniques on you.*
Checking out the hot one on the left in the photo then realizing that the profile is for the not-so-hot one on
the right.
Considering the date successful when they put their phone down for more than 50% of the time.
Contacting your cryptographer friend at the NSA for help in translating the poor grammar and spelling in a
profile.
Dating someone almost half your age... almost.
Deciding if the amazing sex was worth the amazing crazy.
Destroying on really nice article of clothing.
Discovering that your significant other is shocked you masturbate.
Discovering you date thinks she's a “squirter,” but it's really just pee.
Discovering your 32 year old date is a virgin. By choice.
Discovering your date has dotted-line tattoos saying “cut here” on their wrists.
Discussing your favorite types of bondage on your first date.
Driving two hours for a date only to find that they moved and left no forwarding address.
Ending a three-year relationship via email.

Extreme halitosis.
Faking an orgasm so you can kick them out.

Faking food poisoning to end the date.
Figuring out who gets the Hitachi Wand after the break-up.
Finding a polite way to ask if your date was born the gender they are now.
Finding out that they live in their parents' basement.
Finding out they're single in an “Ashley Madison” kind of way.

Finding out your date thinks that Cards Against Humanity™ isn't funny. At all.
Finding yourself disturbed at how turned on you are by someone who's that trashy.
Finding yourself trapped in a discussion about how the conspiracy is everywhere.

Fucking a guy with a huge penis... who has no idea what he's doing with it.
Fucking them senseless.
Geographically undesirable.*
Getting back from a bad date to your roommate having sex on the couch. Again.
Getting drunk. Not for the date, but just for the searching online.
Getting the feeling that you really need to watch your drink.
Ghosting.*
Giving the person who asked for your number the number of “dial-a-prayer.”*
Going to Denny's and being told by your date what you can order so they can use their coupon.
Having explosive diarrhea in your date's bathroom.
Having mind-blowing sex with someone whose politics are the polar opposite of yours.
Having sex with someone who learned their technique from watching bad porn.
Having your cat back away, hackles-up, hissing and yowling at your date.
Having your date say grace while you think, “I'm picking up the tab, why are you thanking God?”
Ignoring glaringly obvious red-flags because they're really hot.

Judging someone based on the content of their character... and the shape of their butt.
Listening to him talk all night about his Twilight fan-fiction.
Looking through your “friends” on Facebook and playing “Would you or wouldn't you?” at 3:30am because
you're awake and have nothing better to do.
Lying about your age by 10 years and thinking no one will notice.
Major bitchy/asshole resting face.
Meeting your date only to see their face fall at the sight of you.
Messages from people who are WAY less attractive than you.
Messages from people who obviously have not read your profile.
My eyes.
My favorite movies: The Secretary; Amelie; and The Shawshank Redemption.
Not clicking “casual sex” because you don't want to look like a slut. (even though you really want casual
sex).
OKCupid suggesting not one, not two, but three different exes.
One hour into the date, they have to call-in and tell their Dom how the date is going.
One topic of conversation. Vegan “food.” Nothing else.

Pictures of you drinking a cocktail, sky-diving, and rock-climbing.
Because you're unique.

Pubic hair that makes you think of Donald Trump's toupee.
Random hairs from your ex on everything. Including your underwear.
Reading a friend's profile and realizing you two should totally hook up.
Realizing this isn't a date, it's a chance for the person to share their love of Jesus with someone new.
Receiving flowers on your first date that smell like rotting flesh.
Returing your ex's stockings to her – after you've tied up your new girlfriend with them.
Signing up with eHarmony only to be told, “we can't find any matches for you.”
Spending $400 on another god-awful bridesmaid’s dress.
Spending the entire night surfing OKCupid, Match.com, Plenty of Fish, and Craig's List without reaching
out.
Swiping left so hard you crack the screen.
Telling your parents you two met at church, not on CollarSpace.com.*

The day after the first date when she tells you she's pregnant... and doesn't know who the father is.
The embarrassment of the hot nurse reading your medication list including Valtrex and Viagra...*
The sense of connection after discovering you take the psychiatric meds.
Thinking, “Curvy? Well, yeah. Spheres have curves.”

Thinking, “maybe just this once I don't need protection...” and finding out later, “yeah, I did.”
Trying to decide if online- or offline-dating is worse.
Unholy rage and abuse at a polite “thanks, but no thanks” response to an online-dating contact
Upon meeting, discovering their photos were poor, outdated, and probably someone else... quite possibly
of a different species altogether.
Watching your date get someone else's number while out with you.
Wedding reception hook-ups.

Wondering if maybe you're the ONLY person on any of these dating sites given your response rate.
Wondering why no one has actually created the dating site “Lowered Expectations.”*
Wondering why none of your friends will set you up with their friends.
Yelling into the void.*
Your date declaring their undying love in the first 45 minutes

Your date explaining that he's a masculinist and a member of the men's rights movement.
Your date surprising you by coming out of your bedroom wearing one of your button-down shirts. And
nothing else.
Carps & Angsty Manatee - Texas Edition
______: A surprising favorite at the Houston Rodeo this year.

After its unsuccessful campaign, the Secession Movement has shifted its focus to separating ______ from
______.
Don't worry about ______. This isn't my first rodeo.
Due to falling petroleum prices, Houston families have begun to invest in ______.
How did Sam Houston fend off Mexican forces at the Battle of San Jacinto?
I decide to try ______ but it was nothing to write home about.
I wouldn’t say that ______ is a complete substitute for ______, but it's close enough for government work.
I'd rather be ______ in Texas than ______ in California.
If you're going to play in Texas, you gotta have ______ in the band.
Planned Parenthood is now using public funds to assist people suffering from ______.
Rumor has it that Jerry Jones is building a VIP-suite at Jerry World exclusively for ______.
Since leaving office, Rick Perry has been coming to terms with ______.
SXSW: A bizarre playland for techies, groupies, and ______.
Texas' sex-ed curriculum promotes ______ as the only 100% effective form of birth control.
The Texas Board of Education recently declared that ______ caused the loss at the Battle of the Alamo.
They say "Keep Austin Weird," but rallying around ______ is taking it a bit too far.
This time, Wendy Davis is filibustering a new bill that supports ______.
To raise funds, the county recently started issuing fines for ______.
What does Elon Musk plan to send to the International Space Station from The Valley?
What got me kicked out of the Alamo Drafthouse?
What is better covered in salsa?
What makes Joel Osteen smile the most?
What makes me happier than a hog in shit?
What was the highlight of my romantic hill country getaway?
What will put some hair on your chest?
A 30 thousand dollar millionaire.

A bingo hall brawl.
A boomtown whore.
A cattle prod to the cooter.
A Chilifest fart.
A convincing conspiracy theory.
A cum-stained homecoming mum.
A fat cow.
A flamboyant Big Tex.
A Fleshlight shaped like the face of George W. Bush.
A gravy train with biscuit wheels.
A kolache filled with Czech jizz.
A loaded shotgun.
A New York cheesecake, made in Texas, by a Mexican.
A piñata filled with angry scorpions.
A porcupine at the nudist colony.
A Port Aransas dope dealer out on bail.
A real sonofabitch.
A sad Jew at the Holocaust Museum.
A sexy tractor. Vast fields of literally nothing.
A shot of whiskey and a Lone Star beer.
A Texan's gravy.
A twelve pack and a prayer.
A vagina with big Dallas hair.
A war on all religions except Christianity.
A yellow jacket in the outhouse.
Accidental Mexican pointy boot sodomy.
Aggressive gerrymandering.
All my exes.
Ammosexuals.
An armadillo with a horse cock.
An asshole from El Paso.
An orgy with the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.
An over-Botoxed socialite.
Austin hippies.
Beer, bait & ammo.
Being a little homophobic.
Being a little too big for your britches.
Being a little too Mexican to be white and little too white to be Mexican.
Being country as fuck.
Being just dark enough to be labeled a terrorist.
Being lovingly whipped by a belt.
Being politically incorrect.
Being snot-slinging drunk.
Being the only one around without a gun.
Betting the farm on chickenshit bingo.
Blue Bell-induced diarrhea.
Boys from Oklahoma.
BRYAN WILSON: TEXAS LAW HAWK!
Californians.
Catching a whiff of manure.
Cheap bourbon whiskey.
Cowboy erotica.
Diddly squat.
Dipping.
Drinking from someone's chewing tobacco spit cup.
Drive-thru liquor barns.
Driving drunk.
Evangelical Christians.
Everyone riding horses everywhere.
Filthy, depraved, sinful, premarital sex.
Floating in a river of beer and urine.
Fuck y'all, I'm from Texas.
Galloping.
Getting a contact high from Willie Nelson's farts.
Getting all gussied up.
Getting castrated by a rattle snake.
Getting hitched but not churched.
Getting knocked up a week after getting new knockers.
Getting lassoed.
Getting plowed.
Getting punched by a Texas Ranger.
Getting swept away by a tornado.
Getting third degree burns from a seat belt.
Going bare back.
Good Christian bitches.
Greg Abbot's crippled body.
Horny toads.
Horse shit.
Huge Arabic haboobs.
Hurricane Katrina refugees.
Inappropriate Facebook posts about JJ Watt.
Jerry Jones' wrinkly old sack.
Learning advanced handjob technique at Young Life.
Lyndon's jumbo johnson.
Mark Fucking Cuban.
Massacring people with a chainsaw.
Matthew McConaughey.
Misguided optimism for this year's football season.
Morally indignant Baptists.
Playing possum.
Pooping on bluebonnets.
Quality lethal injection drugs.
Racist grandparents.
Raider Rash.
Rednecks.
Refried beans.
Regular chaps.
Ridin' dirty.
Riding a log to a wet, explosive finish.
Rubbing your meat.
Some mother fuckers that need Jesus.
Someone that won't shut the fuck up about how much they love Texas.
Spending Daddy's money.
Steers and queers.
Super-rich pansexual cowboys.
Swimming across the Rio Grande.
Systemic racism.
Taking it like a real man.
Talking about moving to Austin.
Ted Cruz's heavy, sexual breathing.
Texans.
Texas Pride.
The Big D.
The high school quarterback at 45.
The mere concept of Waco.
The Tex-Mex shits.
Tipping cows.
Too much everclear.
Using queso as lube.
Wearing just boots and a cowboy hat.
Whataburger taquitos.
Whatever Cinco de Mayo is supposed to be about.
Yelling "Remember The Alamo!" during climax.
Cats Abiding Horribly: Episode III - The SJWs Strike Back

After a long and secret battle with ______. Larry King sadly passed away this morning.
After announcing ______ as their new model, Victoria's Secret stock soared to a never before seen high.
After my parents abandoned me I was raised by _______.
An angry riot broke out on campus were triggered by a speech made by ______ about ______.
And on the sixth day, God created Man in the image of ______.
As long as my kid doesn't grow up to be ______, I'm happy.

At his inauguration, President Trump confirmed that deporting ______ is his #1 priority.
Bad news, Josh. Uncle Jack has been arrested for molesting ______. Yes, again.
Dad left the family when I was only a baby because of his desire to be ______.
Daddy, why does Mommy always call you ______ behind your back? That's because Mommy is ______,
my dear.
For the crime of treason, I sentence you to a slow and torturous death by ________.
Gentlemen prefer blondes, but they marry ______.

Get out now, Satan! The power of ______ compels you!
Get rich or die ______.
Honey, I've decided to put the house up for sale. Yes, it's because of the new neighbors. Do you really
want to live next to ______?
I almost went a whole week without masturbation, but unfortunately on day six I saw a documentary about
______ and lost it completely.
I was fired from my last job because on a random check they found traces of ______ in my blood.
I will vote for any politician that promises me an unlimited supply of ______.
If you were the Grand Mufti of Saudia Arabia, who or what would you issue a fatwa against?
In ancient Sparta, boys became men only after killing and eating ______.
It's a bird!
It's a plane!
No, it's ______!
Me a racist? I don't think so. You know how many of my friends are ______?
My addcition was so out of control, there was nothing I wouldn't do for just a whiff of ______.
My vacation to the Amazon ended with me sucking out venom from _______.
One of Prince's lesser known names was "______ formerly known as ______"
People always see me as this successful, happy-go-lucky guy who has everything he wants. What they
don't know is that deep down, I feel like ______.
Princess, there is no more food left in the kingdom, the peasants are starving and a revolt is imminent.
What should we do?
Let them eat _______.

SHOCKING! Undercover report reveals how refugee Syrian children are exposed to ______, supposedly
to calm them down.
Spiderman senses danger with his spider sense. I have a similar ability, except I sense _______ wherever
I go.
That's easy for you to say, Mr. Born With A Golden Spoon In My Mouth, but for me, ______ is all I got.
The doctor told us it would be a girl, but to our horror, what came out was ______.
The most treasured possession from my many adventures are the mummified remains of ______.
The secret to my success with women? Well for starters, I'm hung like ______.
This new guy's breath is so bad, it's like he has ______ stuck in his mouth.
To avoid getting cornholed in prison, I had to shit myself and act like I was ______ every single day.
Weirdest thing I've ever seen in Central Park? A woman breastfeeding ______.
What's wrong? You look like you've seen ______.
When I was a kid, I learned geography by playing lots and lots of "Where in the World Is ______?"
Why haven't aliens visited us yet?

You + Me = ______.
A babbling idiot.
A basement dweller.
A beached whale.
A Black Lives Matter protestor.
A bottom feeder.
A chronically upset feminist.
A computer full of porn.
A convent full of sexy nuns.
A crippling birth defect.
A deadbeat parent.
A dullard.
A gender studies teacher.
A hairy diesel dyke.
A Hare Krishna disciple.
A hollering frat bro.
A human ashtray.
A Japanese loli.
A life of involuntary servitude.
A male cheerleader.
A Marxist Kenyan Muslim.
A merry old queen.
A Mexican gangbanger.
A misplaced sense of entitlement.
A misplaced sense of entitlement.

A mouth breather.
A murder-suicide just waiting to happen.
A neck beard.
A North Korean hacker.
A peckerwood.
A pencil-neck geek.
A person of low stock.
A rent boy.
A rude waitress.
A rugged individualist.
A school bus full of dead kids.
A self-immolating Buddhist.
A size queen.
A special needs child eating a pillow.
A Thai ladyboy.
A third-world dictator.
A Tumblr drama queen.
A used car salesman.
A white, straight, cis male.
A Woody Allen movie marathon.
A wrongly amputated limb.
Accepting a drink from Bill Cosby.
An anti-vaxxer.
An Asian driver.
An embarrassment to the human race.
An indigo child.
An unwashed hippie.
Anarchists.
Being all alone on a Friday night.
Being out on parole.
Björk's stalker.
Bloated baby feet.
Carpet munching.
Conducting unethical science experiments.
Crossing swords.
Danny DeVito's bald, shiny head.
Drinking Mexican tap water.
Faking cancer to get chemotherapy.
Force-feeding the elderly.
Freedom of speech.
Freeloading.
Getting cuckolded.
Getting pegged.
Good, clean fun.
Hemorrhoids.
Living in squalor.
Making it rain.
Man tits.
My God complex.
My liberal arts degree.
My open marriage.
Pigging out.
Pitying the fool.
Roid rage.
Running a red light.
Rupert, my imaginary friend.
Scatting, and not the singing kind.
Shanking a fellow inmate.
Shitting an adult diaper.
Shooting semen all over the place.
Shopping on Black Friday.
Slave Leia.
Snowballing.
Sporting a thick '70s bush.
Streaking.
Sword swallowing.
Talking through a movie.
The 1%.
The 99%.
The barely legal intern.
The crazy cat lady from across the street.
The Elephant Man.
The local UFO cult.
The Pilgrims.
The Second Coming of Jesus.
The Statue of Liberty.
The White Devil.
Torturing small animals.
Tossing salad.
Totally dreamy guys.
Trigglypuff.
Whiteknighting.
Wincest.
Winning a karate tournament by crane kick.
Working for minimum wage.
Yellow teeth.
______, just for a second. Just to see how it feels.
______: Ain't nobody got time for that!
______: I volunteer as tribute!

______: Provided by the management for your protection.
______: Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.
Before I got laid off, I never pictured a career in ______.
Good news, everyone! I'm giving a TED Talk on the subject of how ______ will transform ______.
How did I get through college?
How did I spend my inheritance?
I do declare, in times of distress I have always relied on ______.
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned ______ in grandpa's obituary.
I have this recurring dream where I'm ______, and I'm giving ______ to ______.
I've designed a spaceship powered by the energy released when you combine ______ and ______.
In Valhalla, it is said that all brave warriors are given ______.
Old Willy used to be just like you or me, before ______ got ahold of him.
Rumor is, Kim Jong-un is executing prisoners with ______.
The night before a blizzard, always stock up on ______ and ______.

This bottle of 1961 Château Cheval Blanc has notes of ______ and ______.
This film has been rated "NC-17" for graphic depictions of ______ and ______.
Topping this week's non-fiction best-sellers: "______ : the art of living with ______."
Utah is considering the legalization of ______.
What do I have rotting away in a storage unit?

What do I have rotting away in a storage unit?
What made me this way?
What really gave Superman his powers?
What should I be for Halloween?
What will they carve on my tombstone?
What's this town's best-kept secret?
While officially still frowned on, ______ is now permitted in the U.S. armed forces.
While officially still frowned on, ______ is now permitted in the US armed forces.
Who will be first against the wall when the revolution comes?
Who's got ______, ______, and two thumbs? This guy!
Who's really to blame?
Yes, it is I, the world's most dangerous supervillain: Baron Von ______!
A ball pit filled with testicles.

A banana. You know, for scale.
A Benedict Cumberbatch RealDoll™.
A black fly in your chardonnay.
A braille vajazzling.
A bunch of snot-nosed, know-it-all twentysomethings.
A butt-plug in the shape of a rolled-up copy of the U.S. Constitution.
A cage fight with Nicolas Cage.
A combination bounce house and fumigation tent.
A donkey show.
A Fleshlight®.
A fluffy little butt.
A literal shaved beaver.
A meat popsicle.
A silly old sea captain who's just full of stories.
A song about how great Nebraska is.
A stripper named "Anchovy."
A tongue punch in the ol' fart box.
A whole lot of donuts.
An emergency root canal.
An emperor penguin with no sense of shame.
An erotic novel about the Loch Ness Monster.
An unexpected finger in the anus.
Baby carrots.
Being heteroflexible.
Being so far in the closet, you can see Narnia.
Being waterboarded with Wild Turkey® 101.

Charles Darwin.
Chasing waterfalls.
Chemtrails.
Chloroform.
Combing out the dingleberries.
Crabs Adjust Humidity.
Dennis Rodman, professional diplomat.
Double vaginal, double anal.
Erotic Star Trek fan fiction where all the characters are furries, like Kirk is an ocelot or something.
Gettin' down there and bein' all like "this shit is nasty, yo. Fuck this, yo."
Getting ganked.
Hookers and blow.
Jennifer Lawrence.
Juggalos.
Korean Jesus.
LeBron James' vast, enveloping hands.
Living among us... Learning our ways. Watching. Waiting.
Low-hanging fruit.
Lt. Worf's naturally-ribbed Klingon schlong.
Lucky Pierre.
Making airplane noises.
Mr. Right Now.
My apparent inability to read a few simple words out loud.
Nazi unicorns.
Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Obamacare.
Peanut Butter Jelly Time.
Primo shlick material.

Rainbow cumdrops.
Realistic expectations.
Robin Thicke.
Scissoring.
September 11th.
Six pounds of raw, peeled garlic.
Some punk-ass little bitch.
Sriracha.
Susan, that bitch.
The (technically) Virgin Mary.
The crotches of strangers.
The express written consent of Major League Baseball.
The few shreds of tinsel still clinging to my asshole.
The Irish.
The ol' reach-around.
The sound of one hand fapping.
The sticky icky.
The sweet release of death.
The taste of human flesh.
Turning it all into a sexy dance.
TWENTY MILLION U.S. DOLLARS.
Using a live squid as a condom.
Wanghis Kahn, cocklord of the Mongols.
Wiggling.
Wuv.
Yiffing.
You know, one of them sorts of things.

______, I choose you!

After years of study, I finally received my doctorate in ______.
Before I go, I check the list: rubber tubing, gas, saw, gloves, cuffs, razor wire, hatchet, ______, and my
mitts.
Choosy moms choose ______.

Fridays this fall: CSI: ______.
General, it appears that instead of brains, these zombies want ______.

Hear my words, ______ will rise again!
Hey, perverts!
It's "Adam and Eve," not "______ and ______".

I see London,
I see France,
I see ______.
I struggle to maintain a healthy weight, but my problem isn't glandular, it's ______.
If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then why are mine filled with ______?
In the days before her death, Maya Angelou wrote a moving essay about _______.
It is pitch black.
You are likely to be eaten by ______.

Mother, Father: today I am a man.
Fetch me ______.
New from DC Comics®: Batman vs. ______.
New to the 2020 Summer Olympics, ______.
No stranger, here we worship ______: the god of ______.
Purists agree: a true Philly cheesesteak must contain ______.
Run, Toto! It's the Wicked Witch of ______!

Soylent Pink is ______!
The CIA reports that Russia is spending billions to influence ______.
The curse!
The child has been born with the mark of ______!

The hills are alive, with the sound of ______!
There's nothing to worry about, the doctor said, "it's just a simple, routine check for ______."
Tonight on Public Access Channel 16, ______, a student film about _____.
What is Hillary's new hobby in retirement?
What is the White House press secretary trying to explain?
What would it take to get me back into church?
What's Andy Serkis pretending to be now?
What's Barron Trump googling at this very moment?
Why don't I date online anymore?

You've never seen Adam Sandler like this before!
This summer, "______".
A 5-gallon bucket of used condoms.

A bull dyke in a china shop.
A bulldog eating mayonnaise.
A burkini.
A county fair goldfish who has seen things no goldfish should ever see.
A cry for help.
A Hasidic hillbilly with a snootful of honeybees.
A journey of self-exploration.
A pale rider, and his name was Death.
A pickup truck, a good dog, and my woman.
A really stupid mustache.
A Schlong of Ice and Fire.
A shoehorn, the kind with teeth.
A Twatadile.
A well-regulated militia.
A-rabs.
Additional lubrication, stat!
All my worldly possessions, piled in the street and set alight.
All that and a bag of chips.
Alternative facts.
Balthus, the blue-balled barbarian.
Behold! The majestic sequoia.
BOOM SHAKALAKA.
Bursting through the back door.
Cankles.
Casu marzu, the famed Sardinian maggot cheese.
Clowns that lure children into the woods.
Cockhenge.
Dick cheese cheesecake.
Dildo Saggins.
Dropping the soap.
Falling into the zoo enclosure.
Family fun fecal face painting.
Fidget spinners.
Fracking.
Fruit leather bondage gear.
Getting a bit "rapey" at night sometimes.
Good Boy Points.
Grab-ass.
Grabbing them by the pussy.
Granny's nooks and crannies.
Gravity.
Harambe.
Having so little hope for your child's future that you name him "Jathan."
Hot Topic®.
Impeachment.
Jack the Stripper.
Just doing my fucking job, asshole.
Leaving the European Union.
Lord Xenu.
Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the Colossal Squid and one hell of a fucking metaphor.
My druncle.
My will to live.
Not knowing when to stop.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Optional lumbar support.
Prescription drugs.
Repressed scout-leader memories.
Ringo, the last surviving Beatle.
Safe, low-voltage stimulation.
Sharron's shitty, seashell-shaped, chartreuse she-shed by the seashore.
Some kind of infestation.
Steve from Blue's Clues.
The fear that senpai will never notice me.
The great black wolf Fenrir, eater of Odin and harbinger of Ragnarök.
The ladies of the women's auxiliary.
The maddening CLICK CLICK CLICK of fingernails on iPhone®.
The naughty nuns of north Nottingham.
The smell.
The sound of my vagina.
The yakuza.
Thinkin' 'bout them beans.
This silly "consent" nonsense.
Throwing another pidgey in the wood chipper.
Throwing shade.
Turning it off and on again.
Vaping.
Weasels ripping my flesh.
White girl dreads.
Yanking on the clitoris.
______ isn't illegal, right?

______ was fun, but then she woke up.
4 out of 5 dentists recommend ______.
Don't worry, officer, I'm just ______.
Ew. Taste this. Doesn't it taste like ______?
Hello, This is my first meeting and I'm addicted to ______.
I fell asleep watching HBO and woke up to ______ on my TV.
I hope Rule 34 doesn't apply to ______.
I snuck into the White House and I saw ______.
I thought my job sucked, then I found out about ______.
I would be on board with Scientology if it weren't for ______.
I'm always mindfucked by ______.
If I were a stripper, my name would be ______.
If it weren't for ______, I wouldn't have spent that year in college.
It should be a goal of the human race to ensure that ______ never happens.
More restaurants need ______ on the menu.
On the day set aside for the Lord, I like to ______.
PAGING DR. ______!!
The children sprung from bed and ran down the stairs to find ______ under the christmas tree.
The Comedy Central Roast of ______.
The name of my sex tape is "______."
The road to hell is paved with ______.
The secret 11th Commandment is ______.
This isn't a hickey, it's just ______.
We need to prioritize scientific research on ______.
What was the blind orphan boy's favorite Christmas present?
What's in the briefcase?
When you get in a cab and it smells like ______.
With great power comes ______.
Yesterday I found ______ for sale on eBay.
A box with magazines containing strong pornography.

A Canadian tuxedo.
A Diet Coke that tastes like balls are in it.
A fridge festooned with nude photos of every family member.
A good old-fashioned skullfucking.
A hilarious failed suicide attempt.
A Holocaust blooper reel.
A horny hive mind.
A male figure skater with a massive bulge.
A monkey fucking a coconut.
A negative HIV test bought on Amazon.
A Norwegian-style sweater with a cute reindeer swastika pattern.
A sprinkle of the finest crystal meth on the eyeballs.
A toothless hooker.
A touching moment between a wealthy old woman and her Mexican gardener.
A water pistol loaded with LSD.
All this weed I found.
An acute heroin addiction.
Another goddamn virus from surfing questionable porn.
Anyone that isn't me.
Asking your best friend to hold your cock at the urinal so you can keep watching funny cat videos.
Being bullied by a small child.
Being one bad motherfucker.
Beliebiers.
Bottomless mimosas.
Bringing five thousand $1 bills to a seventh-grade beauty pageant.
Britney Spears circa 2007.
Building a wall and making the Mexicans pay for it.
Cajuns.
Capitalism.
Chanting "heritage, not hate" as you hang several black men from trees.
CHICKENFUCKER!
Coffee so black that it starts picking cotton.
Doing karate in the garage.
Donald Trump's third nipple.
Dried-up pulverized spunk.
Dropping the soap.
Elton John's sunglass collection.
Falling and not being able to get back up.
Getting really high with your pet dog.
Giving a coat hanger as a gift at a baby shower.
Going to Hell.
Harajuku Girl prostitutes.
Having a pulse and being fuckable.
I refuse to dignify that with a response.
Ignorance and self-righteousness.
Insulting morbidly obese people to make them chase you, then laughing when they suddenly pass out.
Justin Timberlake's cornrows.
Killing a prostitute to get the money back.
Killing someone.
Kurt Cobain's shotgun.
LOUD NOISES!
Making Helen Keller moan so loudly, even she can hear it.
No comment.
Oh, God, why?
Pulling a Mulan.
Rape being perfectly acceptable as long as it was enjoyed by everyone.
Resting your balls on the dining room table.
Rubbing Oprah's belly until it falls asleep.
Screaming at a deaf child.
Sexy sport tops.
Shooting amateur porn at the retirement home.
Slapping strangers in the face with a porterhouse steak.
Smelly cat, smelly cat.
Some band you've never heard of.
Steve Buscemi and Rebel Wilson's love child.
Sucking on an elf's surprisingly large candy cane.
Taking a dump in a ball pit.
Thanks, Obama!
The ability known as "retardation."
The alpha male.
The awkwardness of third wheels.
The Foo Fighters.
The last US citizen who is not disturbingly obese.
The Pillsbury Doughboy blowing his load all over a toaster strudel.
The pure shock of finding out your daughter is pregnant … and the baby is yours.
Tyra Bank's fat years.
Umbilical-cord handcuffs.
Voting for Trump.
William Shatner speaking fluently.

Successfully funded on Kickstarter on December 13, 2015 raising £9,835 with 444 backers for both Edition
2 and Edition 3. Released on February 22, 2016.
______ reminds me of my ex.

______. Because prevention is better than cure.
______. Man's best friend.
______. Nature's birth control.
______. What's not to like?
______. It just tastes better.
After climate change, what is the worst ecological concern today?
Children should be seen and not ______.
Dear Santa. All I want for Christmas this year is ______.
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to ______.
Hell hath no fury like ______.
I have decided to stick with ______ as ______ makes me horny.
One parenting tip I wish I'd learned sooner is to never ______ without ______.
Stop saying that I'm faking my disability. I really do have ______ Syndrome.
The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of ______.
What am I attracted to?
What did my boyfriend get me for my birthday?
What the hell Dad?! You've got ______ all over my ______.
What's never as good as it is the first time?
Why am I trembling?
Why so serious?
You can't touch this.
A bigger bang for your buck.

A bleeding asshole.
A broken hymen.
A filthy hobo.
A group of chronic Masturbators.
A harmless white lie.
A large group of consenting adults.
A midlife crisis.
A one-night stand.
A shit of biblical proportions.
A strained groin.
A taste of your own medicine.
A three-way with the Olsen Twins.
A trophy wife.
A vagina so big there's an echo.
A victimless crime.
Absolutely fuck all.
An 80/20 nipple to boob ratio.
An Anne Frank sex doll that doesn't make a sound.
An uncomfortable silence.
Anal prolapse.
Awkward blowjobs.
Being fingered next to the swings.
Being raped in prison.
Being the bigger man.
Bi-curious George.
Biting the pillow.
Bringing shame on your family.
Choosing to be gay.
Cleverly disguising yourself as a responsible adult.
Crossing swords.
Crotch rot.
Crotchless panties.
Doggy style.
Dying a little more each day on the inside
Dying in childbirth.
Euthanasia.
Excessive leg hair.
Feeling emasculated by the words “is it in yet?”
Finding your cousin frustratingly attractive.
Finger stuff.
Getting kinky with your pinky.
Getting laid.
Girls with small hands.
Hand to gland combat.
Human werewolf syndrome.
Inbreeding.
Industrial strength laxatives.
Inserting one's finger into the vestibule of the vagina.
Kleenex®.
Masturbatory assistance from your mom.
Mediocrity.
My internet search history.
My rod of justice.
Our little secret.
Paying a dominatrix for 'the cheese grater' experience.
Penis puppetry.
Playing with your bearded clam.
Poontang.
Post-sex funk.
Reaping what you sow.
Rimjobs.
Rubbing one out.
Scarlett Johansson.
Sexy kids.
Shit happens.
Single mom Barbie.
Smashing the back doors in.
Something fishy.
Space docking.
Tantric yoga.
The acrid smell of a burning child.
The African myth that sex with a virgin can cure AIDS.
The dance without pants.
The fickle finger of fate.
The God particle.
The Holocaust.
The internal moral debate on whether it's OK to sleep with your stepsister.
The money shot.
The old beaver cleaver.
The Special People's Games.
The superhuman strength of retards.
Titties in my face.
Trying the taste of you own, somewhat cloudy semen.
Unorthodox sexual positions.
Unprotected sex.
Using the scratch and sniff method to identify mysterious stains.
Vaginal flatulence.
Wandering hands.
When something turns you off so much that your vagina throws up.
Voter's Choice: The Third Expansion
______!? NOT TODAY!

Anything about ______ has to be educational.
I know I haven't been the best Christian but, ______.
I once discovered a golden ______.
I'm glad one of us remembered. That could've been ______.

In the year book I was voted most likely to ______.
None of us recognized that his subtle interest in ______ was really a terrible addiction.
Treat yo self to ______.
What is my darkest secret?
What's next after third base?

When a woman loves a man, it doesn't matter if ______.
100,000 dollars, alcohol, and 4 weeks of vacation.

A flock of seagulls that mistakes your penis for a french fry.
A naked gay Mexican guy.

A shockingly realistic reenactment of the Games of Thrones.
Accidentally sexting your mother.
Becoming a superhero by killing your parents.
Being a two-timing whore.
Buying a windowless van and candy to improve your sex life.
Deeply inhaling your own farts.
I ate those fancy soaps you bought for the bathroom.
Making tea with the blood of our enemies.
Masturbating to Law and Order: Special Victims Unit.
Princess Leia in a threesome with Ewoks.
Pulling the plug on Grandma.
Searching for African Slaves on Amazon Prime.
The Dark Side.
The people who jumped on 9/11.
Titty fucking Susan G. Komen.
Tongue punching your fart box.
Yabba Dabba Doin It!: The Bedrocking Memoirs of Fred Flintstone.
Your favorite childhood stuffed animal coming to life, but turning out to be a massive racist.
Your mom's armpit hair.

______ brings all the boys to the yard.

______ broke six of my ribs.
______ in your car triples your chance of being pulled over.
______ should be taught in schools.
“I'm sorry, Mario, but our princess is ______.”
Authorities were baffled when they found out the killer was actually ______ all along.
Call of Duty: Modern ______.
Controversy erupted when the Pope gave his blessing to ______.
Disney's experimental amusement park centered around the theme of ______ was a colossal failure.
Experts agree: The global financial crisis was caused by ______.
Hello. I'd like to order a large cheese pizza and a side of ______, please.
I can't believe they actually made “______ For Dummies.”
I can't stop myself, I just have to eat ______!
I have a restraining order that prevents me from coming within 500 feet of ______.
I made it halfway through ______ before falling asleep

If you get toys from a Happy Meal, what would you get from a Sad Meal?
Jesus's guilty pleasure was ______.
Kids these days have no respect for ______.
Last April Fools Day, my friends went too far with ______.
Mike Tyson + ______ = Instant YouTube hit.
My New Year's resolution is to stop ______.
Never gonna give ______ up.
Oprah Winfrey surprised her audience by giving everyone ______.
Paper beats Rock, Rock beats Scissors, Scissors beat Paper, and ______ beats all of them.
Protip: “Hey, let me show you ______!” is not a good pickup line.
Rumor has it that the Oval Office has a bit red button labeled “______.”
Superman's other lesser-known weakness is ______.
What's one new thing everyone should try before taking a shower?
You'll understand ______ when you're older.
Your charitable contribution will help provide clothing, food, and clean water to ______.
“Accidentally” sticking your finger in your ass while wiping.

A 8-foot-tall walking carpet.
A chubby forehead.
A Cocktus, which is a large green penis covered in pricks.
A dildo-shooting harpoon gun.
A Feces Peanut Butter Cup.
A fistful of vengeance.
A fortune cookie containing a wasp.
A friend who is a total dick in the mud.
A long romantic walk to the fridge.
A new universe where dicks suck people.
A penis only a mother could love.
A poorly timed fart.
A really fast baby.
A sad sack.
A small loan of a million dollars.
A soggy biscuit
A very “curious” horse.
An ingrown taint hair.
An odd number of breasts.
An old man hiding in the closet.
Another man.
Believing she was 18.
Birthday Potties.
Darth Vader using his Force-choke to masturbate.
Dave Grohl.
Demon butlers.
Disturbing donuts.
Drugs so good, they'll ruin your life.
Eating until you're full. Then continuing to eat until you hate yourself.
Filling her mouth with joy.
Gas station sushi.
Getting a BJ from a ventriloquist dummy.
Getting charged bank fees for not having enough money in your account.
Getting white girl wasted.
Glow-in-the-dark condoms.
Gnawing on a penis like it's a chew toy.
God's plan.
Hellacious shits.
Homemade cookies made with hate.

Homicidal ostriches.
Inhaling a fly.
Lady Gaga's boyfriend.
Lady Gaga's boyfriend.
Making it look like a suicide.
Making your disobedient, adopted son bite the curb.
Meatspin.
Mexican tap water.
Micheal J. Fox playing freeze tag.
Miley Cyrus with a strap-on.
My teacher's unending sex-drive.
Peanut, the World's Ugliest Dog.
Peeing on an electric eel.
Praising the sun.
Realizing you've just been too honest with someone to continue being friends.
Santa Claus teabagging a sleeping child, taking a picture, and leaving it in the child's stocking.
Saying “Excuse me” every time you fart.
Sex that's so good you don't care about the herpes.
Shitting' Mittens, a pair of gloves you wear when you take a dump.
Silverback gorillas.
Spending real money on a mobile game.
Squirting all over her Jigglypuffs.
Stiff nipples.
Strumming one out.
That one racist friend.
The satisfying sound a brick makes when it connects with a human skull.
The Senate: where smart people go to die.
The warmth of an African male.
The world's largest diamond.
Tubgirl.
Ubisoft's fear of animating women.
Unicorn semen.
Waddling around like an abominable snowman.
Walking into a room and forgetting what you were looking for.
Watching a Tyler Perry movie on purpose.
Waterboarding a Muslim.
When a man gets so fat he has his own set of tits to fondle.
When a man loves another man, but not in a gay way.
Your hot teacher.
Special Set
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https://xkcd.com/1027
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*When a dating
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distance. Response
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*Ceasing all
communication in an
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*800-NOW-PRAY
(800-669-779) works,
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*CollarSpace.com is a
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*Valtrex is a herpes
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*MADtv skit about a

dating site for people
who aren't very
attractive.
*Sending messages
on a dating site
without receiving any
responses.
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Special v1.0 OC v1.0 Set
OC = OmniClaw
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______? Really?! Holy Shit, Russia!

______: American's favorite Broadway musical
______: The Best! Day! Ever!
______ is in the mystery meat.
______ made me rethink my sexual orientation.
______ makes me have to shit SO BAD!
______ sponsored by Crystal Meth.
Beauty and the ______ is my favorite Disney movie!
Beware of the ides of ______.
Doc, it burns when I pee. Could it be because ______?
Eat your ______, child.
For only 1 dollar a day, you can provide a child in Nigeria with ______.
I found out the hard way. You cannot sneak ______ into a penitentiary.
In my day, ______ only cost a nickel.
On Christmas, Mother always stuffs the turkey with ______.
Rather than donating clothes to local charities, I prefer to give them ______.
The best part of waking up is ______ in your cup.
The human race is ______.
The Humpty Dance is your chance to ______.
The local butcher sells delicious meat made from ______.
Tommy looted a dead corpse and found ______.
What are all the cool kids doing?
What came in the mail today?
What do I scream before I ejaculate?
What makes the world a better place?
What's in the back of my white paneled van?
What's the fastest way to kill a human?
Why am I so constipated?
Why are all the children dying?
You want the whole truth? You can't handle the ______.
$68 in pennies.
#YOLO.
A faint, but distinct smell of shit with no defined source of origin.
A joke too funny for women to understand.
A slow, depressingly sad hand job.
Allen Iverson.
An agitated airline stewardess.
An orgasm so intense it causes brain hemorrhage.
Anal lubricant.
Asian NBA players.
Asparagus urine.
Bullet wounds.
Chemtrails.
Cindy Kinx, the pink power ranger.
Creed's greatest hits.
Debt collectors.
Democrats.
Desperate Tinder dates.
Dry humping.
Dwarf tossing.
Ebola.
Entering balls deep into your Mom's backdoor.
Fear boner.
Finding "The One" at a furry meet-up.
Flashing strangers.
Furry pornography.
Genocide.
Getting hit in the junk with a can of sardines.
Getting stabbed to death in a vacant parking lot.
Giving a walrus a hand job for science.
Giving the shocker.
Going down on a big, girthy, black cock.
Great balls of fire.
Hanging black people.
Having penises as nipples.
Hiding an erection while wearing sweatpants.
Hot flashes.
Justin Bieber at 58.
Malaysian Flight 370.
Masturbating to a horror movie.
Michael J. Fox finger painting.
Non-consensual sex.
Not giving a flying fuck.
Pancake nipples.
Party pussy.
Photocopying your anus.
Playing "The Penis Game" at a funeral.
Prank calling a suicide hotline.
Primate sex.
Propane and propane accessories.
Queers.
Raw sewage.
Recreating your penis using a 3D printer.
Ricky Bobby.
Roofying an entire house of newly rushed Sorority girls.
Ruining a surprise party on purpose.
Selling pirated software to under privileged schools.
Sleazy massage parlors.
Sleazy massage parlors.
Small dick with big, saggy balls.
Snot rockets.
Sodomising the corpse of Ben Franklin.
Staring at women breastfeeding their young child.
Steamy lesbian sex.
Stephen Hawking throwing out the first pitch.
That Pope guy.
The cookie monster.
The floating garbage dump roughly the size of Texas.
The noise of your balls slapping during anal sex.
The Quran.
The wrinkly side-boob of an elderly woman.
Throwing ninja star freely in a delivery room.
Toe-poking a dingle berry down the shower drain.
Tony Stark sharting inside the Iron Man armor.
Twenty tons of bird shit.
Vegans.
What "The Rock" was really cooking.
White power.
Yoga pants.
Your girlfriend's cock.

http://carbsofthehugemanatee.com/cards_exp_2.php
_______________. Is THAT what they're calling it these days…

_______________. It's no oxycontin, but it will get you through the morning.
_______________. It's not just for breakfast any more.
404 - _______________ Not Found

Coming this fall, _______________, starring Rob Schneider.
Fuck I love _______________, though.

I have Santa's list. After having _______________, you're getting _______________ for Xmas.
It rubs the _______________ on its skin or else it gets the _______________ again.
Math is hard. Let‘s go _______________.
Next year's Flipside theme is Flipside: _______________.

Now the Texas legislature is trying to take away a woman's right to _______________.
One small step for man, one giant leap for _______________.
The _______________ must flow.
The irony is that Ayn Rand's books were really about _______________, the whole time.
The more people I meet, the more _______________ sounds like a really good idea.
This is the dawning of the Age of _______________.
We Use _______________ To Control The Unwitting Masses.
When The Raptor comes he will eat _______________ first.
“Oh dear God, coffee!”
“Useless, yerk-toting, Frisbee-chucking cheeba-monkeys”

A college fratboy.
A dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand
naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you.
A Galapagos Marine Iguana.
A giant gerbil shoving a Hollywood celebrity up his ass.
A horny unicorn.
A pain in my skull like my sinuses were cracking.
Awkward wedding gifts.
Babe, Dude Is CRAZY!
Bisexual Asian Studies.
Brain bleach.
Burning Flipside.
Buying slutty clothes from “Forever 21.”
Buzzword Bingo.
Captain Tightpants.
Carpal tunnel syndrome.
Cassandra's day-planner.
Cedar Fever Season.
The police-chief’s underage twin daughters.
Cerberus.
Don’t be that guy.
Drinking out of the milk carton.
Dude, Bitch Is CRAZY!
Felicia Day.
Fellating The Ghost.
Florida.
Fuck it. I don’t know.

Fucking In Tents.
Girl pilots killing Nazis.

Harry Dresden.
He’s still dead.
Hot. But WEIRD… But HOT…
I have a shitty hand
ID-10-t Error.
Jenny McCarthy’s son slowly and painfully dying from polio.
Kaylee.
Keeping grandma’s corpse in the attic to continue collecting her Social Security benefits.
Little Black Dress with thigh-highs.
Magic underwear.
Marketing weasels.
Masturbating and crying at the same time.
Michelle Bachmann.
Mutant hamster races.
My censor chip burning out.
Naked in a hot tub full of Lime Jell-O™.
Neck down alopecia.

No reason.
Orphan Meat.
Patrick Stewart’s glorious bald head.
Pickleback.
Pope Frank.
Quinoa.
Radio-controlled shock collars.
Random Technobabble.
Random, pretentious reference to Greek Mythology.

Raw Face Is Just Gross.
Remember the Angelfish. Just float.
Rick Santorum.
Roy Orbison Wrapped in cling film.

Sentient calcium.
Shooting people with “duckface.”
Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, and Spam.
Spoo.
Squirrel!
Steve Irwin in a singles bar.
Syfy presents…
Ted Cruz Crazy.
That damn Total Recall remake.

That time you got drunk and married a prostitute in Vegas.
That’s how we got into this mess.
The “magical condom” that disappeared during sex.
The Koch Brothers.
The Man.
The psychological damage caused to women who believe “Twilight” demonstrates a healthy
relationship.
The Sword of Damocles

The Three Bimbos of the Apocalypse.
The trump card.

Those damn Drow elves.
Trekkies in Captain’s uniforms who could never pass the Starfleet Physical.
Trickle-down Economics.
Using 4Chan for parenting advice.

Using custom CAH cards as an adjunct to therapy and medication.
Vaginismus.
Violent, but thorough.
Waking up in a tub full of ice with your kidneys missing.
Walking in single file to hide their numbers.
Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey.

World of Floorcraft.
Your inner voices are assholes.

Cats Abiding Horribly Bonus Cards
Each set of Cats Abiding Horribly includes a card with instructions to download a set of bonus cards.
These are those cards.
Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to ______.
Who let the dogs out?

On the Third day of Christmas my true love sent to me ______.
I'm not easily excited, but ______ really makes me moist.
Jesus didn't just resurrect the dead and turned water into wine, he was also very apt in ______.
The Donald.
Butt enhancement surgery.
A selfie stick.
Beheading kafirs.
Performing the Cleveland Steamer on my dying grandpa.
______, you da real MVP.
______: boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew!
______: Just another way that God shows us he loves us.

______: Just girly things.
9-1-1, what's your emergency?
Ancient Chinese proverb say: ______ is just ______ without ______.

Bowing to years of pressure, the Washington Redskins have officially been renamed the
Washington ______.
Coming soon from Pixar: "______"
During the lunch meeting, we were shocked to hear the boss reveal her obsession with ______.
From the producers of Shark Week...
Coming this fall, ______ Week.

Fuddruckers® is secretly testing a burger made with ______.
Go-Go-Gadget ______!
I am ______.
I speak for ______.
If laughter is the best medicine, the second best is ______.
If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with ______.
In a groundbreaking experiment, ______ has given birth to ______.
In a new novel by Nicholas Sparks, a young girl tragically falls in love with ______.
In his final interview, Robin Williams discussed his private battle with ______.
My psychic warns that my future is filled with ______.
Ooooooohh yeah, baby you know what I like.
Gimmie ______.
Scientists have discovered the true cause of autism: ______.
Sweet, I just got a Groupon for ______.

Thank you Mario! But ______ is in another castle!
The restaurant was nice, but I was surprised to see ______ on the menu.
The road to hell is paved with ______.
There's a new anime about four magical high school students and their adventures with ______.
Today, Amazon.com® received a patent on ______.
Ultimate Deathmatch: ______ vs. ______.
What exactly is up my ass?
What's my safe word?

You got your ______ in my ______!
You people are sick! There's nothing funny about ______.
A burning sensation.
A Category 5 assnado.
A crusty old sock.
A fear-boner.
A fishy taste.
A history of abuse.
A moist towlette.
A pineapple with chlamydia.
A powerful gag reflex.
A purple nurple.
A really bad yeast infection.
A secret blend of eleven herbs and spices.
A shit-ton of glitter.
A single, shiny Bitcoin.
A thirsty, sperm-jacking wanna-be baby mama.
A tip of my fedora.
A urine-filled bong.
A Waco, Texas-themed novelty barbecue pit and smoker.
Africans, the racist white kind.
An absinthe enema.
An actual gravy train.
An actual invisible knapsack.
An adorable baby sloth.
An itsy-bitsy teeny weenie.
An obscene amount of butter.
An orcgasm.
Anything with a hole.
Asian girls with names like "Christina" or "Elizabeth".
Auto-erotic asphyxiation.
Bitchy resting face.
Cake farts.
Chesticles.
Child-sized coffins.
Cumalot.
Curb-stomping.
Danger pheromones.
DOOOOOMM!!!!!!!
Dr. Jellyfinger.
Duchess Von Fingerbang.

Fat Man and Little Boy.
Felching.
Front row seats to the Shit Show.
Gargling noises.
Ham night!
Hey, fuck you buddy.
Hilarious foreigners!
Hulking out.
Long Schlong Silver.
M'lady.
Making sweet, sweet love all night long.
My big juicy fuck potatoes.
My silent twin, the afterbirth.
OH EM GEE, TOTES ADORBS!!!
Origami erotica.
Pelvic sorcery.
Protective custody.
Putting Baby in a corner.

Romantic cancer.
Something so offensive, I don't even want to say it.
State-of-the-art animatronics.
Taking one for the team.
Tampons in every hole.
The age of consent.
The Chronicles of Red-Dick.
The echoing silence left by SIDS.
The Gaza Strip.
The graveyard shift at 7-Eleven®.
The hole in my chest where my heart used to be.
The Large Hard-On Collider.
The love that dare not speak its name.
The noise a cat makes before vomiting.
The patriarchal social construct of physical genitalia.
Trickle-down economics.
Trouser chili.
Welfare.
What happens in Vegas.
Whatever is left.
www.clownpenis.fart
Zatopeepee, the Blind Fucksman.
Ze Germans.
______ For Dummies is actually the best-selling book in the series.

______. MILLIONS ARE DEAD!
______. That's how I met your mother.
______. There were no survivors.
Give ______ a chance! He'll grow on you!
God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and ______.
I am vengeance. I am the night. I am ______.
I didn't have any plans for the weekend until I found ______ in the attic.
I just filled my 1.5 TB hard drive with pictures of ______.
I wanna put ______ in her!
I was strangely proud when my kid asked Santa for _______.
I'm ashamed to admit that I have traded sexual favors for ______.
I've been ______ like eight times already.
It was bound to happen. ______ has taken over the world.
It's all fun and games until someone loses ______.
It's never a bad time for ______!
Kids and grown-ups love it so, the happy world of ______.
My goddamn roommate is so immature, I actually had to post a "NO ______" sign.
Once ______ hits your lips, it's so good.
Rolling around at the speed of ______!
Speak softly and carry ______.
There's a convention for ______? Sign me up!
What do I remind my parents of?
What do Mumbo's magic words mean?
What is the imminent threat to our nation's youth?
What's my anti-boner?
When the going gets tough, the tough get ______.
Why can't I sit down today?
Why did I get kicked out of the house?
Why was "Barney" cancelled?
380 grams of heroin.

72 Virgins, all of whom are babies.
A 10-minute shit on company time.
A big, fat, hairy, homosexual man.
A bomb that will go off at any second.
A Canadian dildo, made from an icicle.
A carnivorous plant that only eats Asians.
A Civil War reenactment gone horribly wrong.
A Columbine High School reunion.
A costly mistake.
A crisp $20 bill.
A crying stripper.
A diet consisting only of Mountain Dew, mini doughnuts, and beer.
A resting bitch face.
A tombstone reading "Let Me Out."
A van full of screaming children.
A whale that's been declared obese.
Accidentally leaving the price tag on expensive presents.
Actually reading the terms and conditions.
Angering a family of raccoons.
Asking someone if they would like to "drink your no-no tea."
ASL rap battles.
Bashing in someone's face with a spiked bat.
Beating someone else's kid for them.
Being addicted to penis.
Being forced to dissect your beloved pet.
Being white in a situation where that's actually disadvantageous.
Black Friday shoppers beating each other to death over -- and with -- $2 bath towels.
Blaming the holidays for your weight problems.
Chewbacca trimming his pubic hair.
CoD: Cum on Dicks.
Conspiracy theorists claiming that martial law is near.
Cooking meth in a 16-foot RV.
Drinking yourself into a coma at a Nevada brothel.
Faking a terminal illness.
Falling in love with your adopted sister.
Fat Chris Pratt.
Filming a street light on your phone.
Finding Daddy's porn collection.
Finger banging with the tampon still in.
Fishing with dynamite.
Floyd Mayweather's ego.
Four shots of tequila.
Getting stuck in traffic.
Getting turned on when your parents spank you.
Giving the finger to a policeman.
Jacking off until your dick vomits.
Killing all hostages.
Making Napoleon Blown-apart jokes too soon after the Paris attacks.
Men who do not get laid.
Midget orgies.
Parents that are too proud.
Paris Hilton on too much cocaine.
Pills that make your penis rock-hard.
Pilots joining the mile-high-club while auto-pilot gets you home safe.
Playing hide and seek better than Anne Frank.
Rape victims making fun of virgins.
Santa's lap.
Sniffing on your father's underwear.
Standing in the corner and rethinking your life choices.
Suicide photobombers.
Talking faster than a Thai hooker.
Teasing zoo animals.
Telling our child that "fist" can be a verb.
That girl in elementary school that was obsessed with horses.
That one annoying person who has to comment on every single card played.
The ever increasing paranoia parents have for their children.
The false hope given to the people of Africa.
The Jonas Brothers.
The magical gold-weaving spider that creates Donald Trump's hair every night.
The proper way to pronounce "gif."
The smooth asses of babies.
Throwing silverware at a waitress.
Urinating in a crowded pool.
Using Amazon drones to send anthrax to politicians.
When your mother whips the wooden spoon out.
White people with dreads.
Whoever actually spent money on this game.
Y'all need Jesus.
Your boyfriend's mysterious emotional breakdown.

The Kickstarter for this Edition was not funded. However, they managed to get this Edition out
anyway. Released August 24, 2016. This Kickstarter also introduced the Asylum Pack, which
includes Editions 1-4.
It costs how much for an abortion? I'm sorry, but we're going to have to use the ______ method
instead.
Trust me, I'm ______.
I like to look deep into someone's eyes while ______.
Why am I bleeding?
______. This is the one thing we didn't want to happen.
The prostitute lied to me. She said that ______ was legal in Amsterdam.
Nike® has spent millions of dollars on their new tagline: Just ______.
If there's one thing life's taught me, it's never stick your dick in ______.
______. The first time is never the best.
I gave that bitch ______. Bitches love ______.
I lost a shitload of weight simply by replacing ______ with ______.
______. That's an HR incident.
A visit to the in-laws is never complete without ______.
______. Is that some kind of euphemism?
I use ______ instead of ______. Money in the bank.
Don't you just hate it when ______ has the consistency of ______?
______. Just another reason why you can't trust adults.
I'm not proud to admit it, but I once used ______ to break up with an ex.
The two worst things about Down syndrome are ______ and their hair cut.
Never mention on the first date that you're into ______.
______: Man's final frontier.
Call me a patriot if you will, but I believe in Truth, Justice and ______.
Assuming no means yes and yes means anal.

Coitus.
Finishing yourself off.
Pity sex.
Having a baby to save your relationship.
Carpet burns.
Inappropriate grooming.
Premenstrual tension.
The cream of Sum Yung Gai.
Smothering a severely disabled child with a pillow as an act of kindness.
Mom's ability to take a cock.
A bulging vein in your asshole.
A pair of pliers and a blowtorch.
Hemorrhaging cash.
Turning a beached whale into a makeshift Slip 'N Slide®.
A training bra.
This lump in my trousers.
Years of rejection and failure.
Paper-cut circumcision.
Grindr.
A waste of fucking time.
Underwear off, fanny in the face.
An extra chromosome.
Buddha, the fat little cunt.
70's bush.
Fucking kids.
My shitty life.
The War on Terror.
A strap-on.
Honkies.
Bludgeoning the flaps.
Slavery.
Eating out a cum-filled whore.
Butch lesbians.
Princess Diana.
Arranging sleeping children into suggestive positions.
Crack hoes that'll do pretty much anything.
The sexy curves of a pregnant stripper.
My father's flaccid penis.
Gingers.
Going Greek.
Congenital birth defects.
A courtesy lick.
A scabby tampon.
A mouth so sensitive it can feel the sperm wriggling.
Being single as fuck.
Amy Winehouse.
Scratchy, uncomfortable sex.
Corrupting the mind of a child.
My one-eyed monster.
Getting fucked in the proverbial ass.
My angry vagina.
Grinding.
The Final Solution.
Snapping your banjo string.
Reeva Steenkamp.
Krazy Glue®.
Falling in love.
Jamming a twig up your pee hole.
A woman's virginity.
Getting your dick wet.
GILFs.
The shame and regret of a prostate-triggered orgasm.
Sexual harassment.
An inferiority complex.
A fractured pelvis.
Drinking, not because you want to, but because you have to.
Teasing your sister with just the tip.
A hydraulic dildo machine.
Finding a crimson crime scene in your girlfriend's white panties.
Chlamydia.
A girl on the brink of womanhood.
Shaking a baby until it stops crying.
Creamy knickers.
A leaky bottom.
My sweaty hole.
Using your mom's old diaphragm as contraception in a pinch.
Because I run faster horny than you do scared.
Muff diving.
A curry so hot it leaves your ringpiece looking like a halved blood orange.
Sharon Stone.
Donald Trump's inclusive attitude towards minorities.
Playing the race card.
Going to the bathroom just to wipe.
North Korea.
Making bread from a yeast infection.
Civil rights.
Stuffin' the muffin like a boss.
Oscar Pistorius.
Fresh, dripping cum.
Voter's Choice: The Fourth Expansion
______ stole my bike!

And what do we say to the God of Death?
Daddy drinks because I'm ______.
Eventually, every little boy suffers the torment of finding his mother's hidden stash of ______.
In the original Star Trek, Captain Kirk's chair was the perfect level so he could spin around and see
Uhura's ______,
Instead of rings, Sonic now collects ______.
It is not widely known that most microbreweries also make ______.
My pet name for my high school girlfriend was ______.
Our ancestors must have been really high when they made ______.
Penguin, Catwoman, and Joker are teaming up with a new supervillian who is unnamed but has the
power of ______.
What is my dog really thinking about?
What's that tingling feeling in my anus?
12,000 ants.
A drink called The Bill Cosby; I could tell you what's in it but you won't remember in the morning.
A gang-bang with angry smurfs.
A gluten-free pizza that tastes like the cardboard box it came in.
A puppet show of the holocaust.
A sexually active Toyota Prius.
A skankosaurus.
Being friend zoned by a blow-up sex doll.
Darth Vader ass fucking Leia while yelling "Who's Your Daddy"?
Finding a socially acceptable outlet for your nymphomania.
Generic grape soda so awful you swear it's Barney cum.
Hobbit porn starring Dildo backends.
Muslim with a backpack.
Scouting for porn stars at a high school graduation.
The blood crusted slime of a used anal bead.
The chunky blue water in an airplane toilet.
The leftover cocaine from the time Charlie Sheen partied with those Asian hookers.
Weighing yourself, then popping a big butt zit, and then weighing yourself again.
White supremacists who refuse to eat brown M&Ms.
Yoda's weird little green penis.
Your gynecologist, who now performs pap smears with a 24 inch two-headed dildo.

______ can help any relationship

______ should be taught in schools.
______: Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew.
______. No homo.
“I have ______.” - Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.
A fortune teller said my life would be filled with ______.
After suffering in agony for eight millennia in Hell, my penis split open and ______ flew out.
Ah! Your rival! What was his name again?
As a kid, I was afraid ______ was hiding under my bed.
As your commanding officer, I order you to perform ______ for my amusement.
Because of my investment in Bitcoin, soon I'll be able to afford ______.
Calm down, dear, it's only ______.
Christmas was ruined for me when my Uncle Larry got me ______.
Drop the kids off, call in sick, then hurry home to enjoy ______.
Here's the draw: $1,000,000 every week for the rest of your life. Here's the catch: You're involved
with ______ for the rest of your life.
Heroin: a proud supporter of ______.
I just received the report from the doctor. Turns out I have ______.
I like my coffee like I like my men: filled with ______.
I peeled the banana like I always did, but this time I found ______ inside it.
In an exclusive CNN interview, the Pope revealed his new hobby: ______.
Introducing powdered ______! Simply add water to activate.
Let's do ______ again! This is fun!
My best friend died texting while driving. The last text she sent before crashing was about ______.
The best Christmas present Grandma ever gave was ______.
The hills are alive with the sound of ______.
The last thing you will see before you die: ______.
The road to success is paved with ______.
This Thanksgiving, I'm most thankful for ______.
Yes, Mr. Death … I'll play your game! But not chess! My game is ______.
You have 72 hours to deliver the gold, or you'll face ______.
“Too much bush,” whatever that is.

A bacon cheeseburger.
A bearded clam.
A glitch in the matrix.
A horny Furby.
A nocturnal flamingo
A particularly tantalizing set of tatas.
A rape whistle.
A rotting whale corpse.
A sex doll the size and shape of a 7-year-old
A sex scene written by Dr. Seuss.
A straight man doing gay porn.
A suspicious stain on your pillow.
Asking a blind man if he saw the new “Star Wars' movie.
Asking for a third refill of communion wine on a Sunday morning.
Babies infected with rabies.
Baby fat.
Ball ticklers
Being terrorized by a moth for eight hours.
Birthday strippers.
Black slaves.
Busting … real quick.
Buying sex toys from Amazon Warehouse Deals.
Challenging a bear for his honey.
Cheap Chinese knockoffs.
Comcast customer service.
Dat ghetto booty.
Death by Brazilian wax.
Donating a used dildo to the local thrift shop.
Earning $7k or more per week from the comfort of your home!
Eating a banana sensually in the cafeteria.
Every last drop.
Faces of Meth.
Fingerpainting with your Mom's period blood.
Flipping a table onto an infant.
Getting on your knees to confess to your pastor, but on thing leads to another ...
Giving a cab driver a hand job because you have no money for the fare.
Going to a children's hospital and streaking through the hallways.
Going to a strip club to vent your problems to a complete stranger.
Having a long history of mental illness. Being known for violence. And still qualifying to buy a gun,
because this is America.
Having to “collect” bull sperm for a living.
Infinite pickles.
Insane Clown Posse.
Inspirational racism.
Internet friends.
It's not what it looks like, I swear! The cat fell on my cock accidentally!
Janice from accounting.
Jerkin' off with mittens.
Landmines.
Little boys.
Losing your innocence at church.
Making America Great Again, by getting rid of the Kardashians.
Minions.
Naked women and cocaine.
Ninja wearing sneakers.
One long, disgusting toenail.
Planting crack on a homeless man.
Playing a Vietnam War tap in a retirement home to give the veterans heart attacks.
Psych! It's a gas chamber.
Racing a penny down the Empire State Building.
Respecting my authoritah!!!
Sex and pizza.
Six dead hookers.
Sleeping with your best friend's wife.
Small feet.
Spam mail.
Stabbing someone with a cactus.
Steve Irwin dying the way he lived his life … with animals in his heart.
That one guy who tells jokes and everyone laughs at them to make him feel better.
The broken dreams of a child.
The creepy, awkward stare of children.
The lack of black people in “The Jetsons.”
The right touch.
The whitest black person you know.
Using a hammer to fix a crying baby.
Using your phone as a vibrator.
Warriors, coming out to play-ayyyyyyy.
Watching porn on a library computer.
When “Netflix and Chill” turns into “Netflix and Child.”
Whipping it out, with force.
Special
Special
PICK 2
PICK 2
Special
Special v1.0 OC v1.0
OC = OmniClaw
v1.0 OC v1.0
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PICK 2
PICK 2
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2016 Election Game
https://www.2016electiongame.com/
_________ is in bed with Wall Street.

_________ won my vote.
_________, it's gonna be YUGE.
_________, you're fired.
_________: Sadly no longer a 10.
_________.
_________. Just abort it.
_________. These things happen.
#_________ is trending on Twitter.
A nefarious source tells Fox that Trump has his own secret plan to replace the Cabinet with _________.
A new poll shows that _________ is only 6 points ahead.
According to a new poll, 57 percent of people support _________.
According to recent polls, 76% of Democrats are voting in support of _________.
Bernie Sanders. The messier his hair gets, the more powerful _________ becomes.
Don't judge me too hard -- I voted for _________.
Donald Trump keeps tweeting about _________.
Free trade is terrible. Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people in office. But we have _________.
Hillary loves her new Snapchat account because the messages she sends about _________ disappear all by themselves.
How do you balance the ego needed to be POTUS and the humility to lead?
How will the DNC hold back Bernie Sanders?
How will we defeat ISIS?
I am the least racist person there is. I'm even friends with _________.
I think you're being rough. I had just arrived, my dad had just died, so I voted for _________.
I'm pretty sure "fundraising" is just a euphemism for _________.
If I were president, I would bomb the shit out of _________.
If it doesn't work out, we can always get oil from _________.
If you can't get rich dealing with _________, there's something wrong with you.
In his first 100 days in office, Bernie would tackle the threat of _________.
Instead of taking people's guns, let's focus on _________.
Investing in _________ was a total waste of money.
It's so easy to hack the CIA. Even _________ can do it.
Liberals need to stop being so politically correct and start talking about _________.
Make _________ great again.
Marco Rubio's only accomplishment in the Senate was _________.
One thing all Republican candidates have in common? All of them are going to say that they want to destroy _________.
People say it's Donald Trump, but we know that _________ is really responsible for the high debate ratings.
Right-wingin' bitter-clingin' proud clingers of our guns our God and our religion and _________.
Somebody's doing the raping? Who's doing the raping?
The American people are sick and tired of hearing about _________.
The most common search on POLITICO?
The most sought-after endorsement?
The solution to our economic troubles?
This just in: Bill Clinton allegedly had an affair with _________.
Tune in for _________ on Fox Business.
Unfortunately for Jeb, his Super PAC spent all their money on _________.
We are going to build a wall and make _________ pay for it.
What evidence do you have that the Mexican government is sending criminals across the border?
What will cause the third world war?
Which enemy is Hillary Clinton most proud of?
Who will be behind the next birther controversy?
#BlackLivesMatter.
$15 minimum wage.
A birther lawsuit.
A campaign intern.
A CNN alert.
A coin toss.
A gust of wind to Donald Trump's hair.
A Kenyan Muslim.
A loan from Goldman Sachs.
A low energy guy.
A penchant for sexism.
A vivid sex dream involving the Republican frontrunner.
A Washington outsider.
A Washington whorehouse.
A well-placed "thanks Obama."
Abortion videos.
Actually giving a shit.
Adding ISIS on Snapchat.
Americans without a college degree.
An exception in the case of rape or incest.
An honest politician.
An Iowa do-over.
An unmanned center podium.
Anchor babies.
Anthony Weiner.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Baby Hitler.
Banning Muslims.
Barbara Bush.
Ben Carson taking a nap.
Ben Carson's violent past.
Benghazi.
Bernie Sanders' Brooklyn accent.
Bernie Sanders' medical records.
Bernie Sanders' NRA rating.
Bernie's spoken-word folk album.
Bill Clinton.
Bill Cosby.
Bill O'Reilly.
Bipartisan bullshit.
Black Jesus.
Bleeding-heart millennials.
Bobby Jindal.
Building a wall and making Mexico pay for it.
Business-related favors.
Campaign bankruptcy.
Canadians (i.e. Ted Cruz).
Carly Fiorina's face.
Carpet bombing ISIS.
Chelsea bashing Bernie.
China.
Chris Christie joining Weight Watchers.
Chris Christie's 404 Page.
CNN debate commercials.
Conspiracy theorists.
Conversion therapy.
Deez Nuts.
Defense spending.
Defunding Planned Parenthood.
Democratic-Socialism.
Democrats.
Domestic terrorism.
Donald Trump making sex jokes about his daughter.
Donald Trump playing with his belt buckle.
Donald Trump.
Donald Trump's Nobel Peace Prize nomination.
El Chapo.
Enhanced interrogation techniques.
Entitlement reform.
Ethanol subsidies.
Fat pigs, dogs, slobs, and disgusting animals.
Feminism.
Flip-flopping.
FLOTUS.
Fox and Friends.
Frank Underwood.
Fucking liberals.
Gay marriage.
Getting stabbed by Ben Carson.
Gloria Steinem.
Hillary Clinton attending Donald Trump's wedding.
Hillary Clinton serving on the Walmart Board of Directors.
Hillary Clinton's emails.
Hillary doing her kegels during the debate.
Hillary's pantsuit.
Holding a Democratic debate on weekend night during NFL playoffs.
Hummus attacking Israel.
Hypocrisy.
Iowa.
Jake from State Farm.
Jeb Bush smoking weed 40 years ago.
Jeb Bush's Super PAC.
Jeb's missing exclamation point.
Jim Gilmore.
Jimmy Fallon.
John Kasich being racist.
Journalists that are scared of Trump.
Kissing babies.
Larry David.
Libyans for Hillary.
Lincoln Chafee.
Lines of Koch.
Making deals.
Marco Rubio in high heels.
Marco Rubio's boyish good looks.
Martin O'Malley playing acoustic guitar in front of the New York Stock Exchange.
Martin O'Malley's rain tax.
Mass deportations.
Megyn Kelly.
Michael Bloomberg.
Mike Huckabee.
Mispronouncing "Boehner."
Monica Lewinsky.
MSNBC moderators.
Murica.
Nepotism.
Obamacare.
Paying for a selfie with Hillary Clinton.
Pledging not to run as an independent.
Political legacy.
Political marriages.
Politically correct wars.
Poll numbers.
Poor people.
Presidential name-calling.
Private email servers.
Pulling out.
Putin.
Racism.
Raising tariffs and making China pay for it.
Reading too much Ayn Rand.
Registering to vote.
Reince Pubis.
Renaming the Redskins.
Republicans.
Rick Perry.
Rick Santorum.
Rick Santorum's lackluster endorsement.
Ripping up babies' body parts and selling them like they're parts to a Buick.
Ron Paul.
Ronald Reagan.
Sarah Palin blaming her son's domestic violence arrest on Obama.
Sarah Palin.
Sexism.
Short guys that wear yamakas every day.
Speaking to an empty room.
Standing in the middle of fifth avenue and shooting someone.
Sucking up to donors.
Switching to the metric system.
Ted Cruz as America's designated driver.
Ted Cruz reading Green Eggs and Ham on the Senate floor.
Terri Schiavo.
Texas seceding.
The 2016 Election Game.
The beautiful Anderson Cooper.
The Bible.
The black vote.
The comb-over.
The conjoined twins separated by Ben Carson.
The Cruz Campaign's voting violation notices.
The Defense of Marriage Act.
The Employment Prevention Agency (EPA).
The enemy soldier that threw the grenade that wounded Jim Webb.
The establishment vote.
The evangelical vote.
The first female president.
The Koch Brothers.
The Latino vote.
The liberal media.
The national debt.
The National Rifle Association.
The next Supreme Court Justice.
The nuclear codes.
The Obama-Clinton regime.
The people Mexico sends.
The second amendment.
The Sheldon Adelson Primary.
The Tea Party candidate.
The undercard debate.
The vice presidential nomination.
The Washington Cartel.
The welfare state.
The world's policeman.
Tina Fey.
True conservatives.
Trump sexting Putin.
Trump's Iowa hangover.
Two Corinthians.
Unemployment.
Unfulfilled campaign promises.
Univision.
Wearing political correctness like a suicide vest.
White supremacists.
Wiping Hillary Clinton's server with a cloth.
Wolf Blitzer.
Women's suffrage.
Y'all Qaeda.
Babies vs. Parents
https://www.amazon.com/NSFW-Babies-vs-Parents/dp/B01K7SNB1Y
Babies vs. Parents is a fun baby-shower friendly rendition of the popular game Apples to Apples as well as Cards Against
Humanity. There is no relationship between the two or three. There isn't a threesome is what I'm trying to say.
______ + ______ = ______.

______ a day keeps the ______ away.
_______. Awesome!
______: The best part of waking up.
After the birth I'm gonna have to ______.
Being pregnant makes me want to ______.
Can we stop by the store? I need to grab ______.
Congratulations! It's a ______!
Damn it! I forgot the ______.
Did you hear that? I think it was ______.
During delivery, I would like to think about ______.
Go go gadget ______.
Having a kid makes me want to _______.
How my husband would describe me: ______.
I am calmed by the thought of ______.
I am just the absolute best at ______.
I can't believe my husband asked for ______.
I can't believe that came out of my vagina
I can't believe that someone will be able to pull ______ out of ______.
I can't believe this came out of my (babies') butt!
I can't forget to bring ______ to the hospital.
I can't wait to ______.
I can't wait to ______.
I had a nightmare last night. The baby was ______.
I hate ______.
I hope that my baby would describe me as ______.
I hope that my push gift will be ______.
I love ______.
I love it when my husband has ______.
I love my husband but he has a serious addiction to ______.
I love waking up to ______ in bed.
I really hope my baby is ______.
I really think my baby will look like ______.
I think I overheard my friends calling me ______.
I want ______.
I will call my baby ______.
I wish I were ______.
I wish my husband would give me ______.
I'm so glad that before my birth I ______.
I've lost my ______.
If I have to see ______ again I'm gonna go crazy.
It's pretty obvious my kid's first word will be ______.
Mom trick: To calm a colicky baby just ______.
My ______ is getting bigger and bigger by the day.
My baby feels exactly like ______.
My baby has ______.
My baby will grow up to master ______.
My baby's diaper is so full of ______.
My belly is really craving ______.
My doctor told me that I really needed ______.
My favorite baby sound is ______.
My husband definitely thinks I'm ______.
My husband is secretly ______.
My lover's hidden talent is ______.
My mother-in-law looks a lot like ______.
My secret power?
Oh look, I just found ______.
Oh my dear lord! That smells like ______.
People thought I was bat-shit crazy when I said I was gonna ______.
Pregnant moms are really into ______ these days.
Rumor has it that my doctor really loves ______. Especially when it comes with ______.
Step 1: ______.
Step 2: ______.
The End.
Stop! I really need to ______!
Studies show that babies are most cloesly related to ______.
Surprise! You just ______.
That smells just like ______.
The best advice I've ever received?
The hot guy I always think about has ______.
The most important person in the room on the day I give birth is _______.
There is nothing I wouldn't do for 30 minutes alone with ______.
Well crap. I guess ______ is now going to have to deliver the baby.
What do babies smell like?
What is a parent's best friend?
What is the worst gift I've received?
When my husband found out I was pregnant he ______.
Why am giving birth again?
Why is everybody giving me ______.
Why is mommy crying?
You won't believe I have ______.
2.5 kids.
A baby carrier.
A baby.
A big glass of wine.
A breast pump.
A bucket of hand sanitizer.
A car seat.
A cigar.
A condom.
A day at the spa.
A day in bed.
A defective stroller.
A diaper bag.
A diaper changing strait jacket.
A doula.
A far, far away place.
A fat baby.
A freezer full of pizza.
A giant cup of coffee.
A glow.
A Greek God.
A hot doctor.
A menstraul cup.
A midwife.
A mucous plug.
A nursing bra.
A paternity test.
A penis.
A personal massager.
A pocket diaper.
A punch in one's own face.
A rabid baby-eating raccoon.
A reality tv host saying, "You are NOT the father."
A rectal thermometer.
A red light.
A shark riding an eagle.
A small bottle of bourbon.
A Snocksucker.
A surrogate.
A tiny butt.
A tiny, crying boob-eating monster.
A turkey baster.
A used condom.
A vaginal exam.
A water birth.
A wrecking ball.
An all-in-one.
An amber necklace.
An entourage.
An IUD.
An OBGYN.
An ugly baby.
Anal leakage.
Ate a diaper.
Bacon!
Balloons.
Balls.
Being a baby wizard!
Birth control.
Boobs.
Breaking out with bacne.
Breastfeeding.
Butt balm.
Carbs.
Change a diaper.
Choking the next person that asks what my due date is.
Co-sleeping.
Coconut oil.
Comments on the internet.
Constipation.
Crack.
Crowning.
Crying.
Diaper liners.
Diaper sprayer.
Diapering.
Dirty Diaper Laundry.
Dropping the baby.
Eating it.
Eating my placenta.
Edible diapers.
Essential oils.
Estrogen.
Everything.
Explosive diarrhea.
Flowers.
Fluffy animals.
Forceps.
Foreplay.
Getting a vasectomy.
Getting peed on.
Getting throat punched.
Giving birth in a mountain stream.
Hemorrhoids.
Hiding a stash of dark chocolate.
Humpday.
Ice cream.
Immaculate conception.
Infectious disease.
Jaundice.
Jerry Springer.
Jump from the Empire State Building.
Justin Bieber.
Labor.
Lactation.
Laughing until you pee.
Leftovers.
Liver and onions.
Lots of therapy.
Making babies.
Menstraul pads.
Menstruation.
Mom jeans.
Morning sickness.
Morning sickness.
Moves like Jagger.
My best friend.
My brother.
My dad.
My husband.
My lover.
My mom.
My mother-in-law.
My partner.
My sister.
My vagina.
Nipple butter.
Nipple stimulation.
Oprah.
Painkillers.
Poop on a stick.
Poop spray.
Poop.
Pooping out of frustration.
Pregnancy brain.
Projectile vomit.
Pubic hair.
Put breastmilk on it.
Rabies.
Rancid breastmilk.
Rubber pants.
Sardines.
Seedy poop.
Sex with my husband.
Sex.
Sleep.
Sleeping on the couch.
Slime of questionable origin.
Slimy poop.
Small blood clots.
Smuggling mesh underwear.
Snoring.
Soiled diapers.
Squiritng breast milk across the room.
Squirting breastmilk.
Stealing samples from the hospital.
Stretch marks.
Swaddle
Tampons.
Tape.
Teething.
Thank you notes.
That sticky spot on my jeans.
The 5 S's.
The Duggars.
The longest pee.
The milk man's baby.
The most expensive one.
The Placenta.
The real father.
The stork.
Throw Up.
Throwing my pie for you.
Thumb sucking.
Thunder from down under.
Tiny terrorists.
Triplets.
Twins.
Vaginal rejuvenation surgery.
Varicose veins.
Week old tuna.
Weird sex dreams.
Wipes.
World's okayest Mom.
Yeast.
Bad Campaign, The Presidential Party Game!

https://www.badcampaigngame.com/
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on August 28, 2015 raising $5,005 with 29 backers. Released on January 20, 2016.
_________ baby _________ (repeat)!

_________ for a more hopeful America.
_________ for American families.
_________ is all I need to make the tough decisions.
_________ is my true passion in life.
_________ is the one thing that would drive me crazy enough to push the button.
_________ is the subject of Bill Clinton's new book.
_________ is what haunts my dreams at night!
_________ should be the start of the conversation on how we can improve as a society.
_________ was my nickname at Yale.
_________ will cause a blistering argument with Vladimir Putin.
A vote for me is a vote for _________.
An executive order will be issued calling dibs on _________.
As President the hardest task is dealing with _________.
At my command NASA will have to shoot _________ into space.
At night when I close my eyes _________ occupies my thoughts.
Believe in _________.
Darn right I'm running for President and I'm taking _________ with me.
Dick Cheney was hiding _________ under his shirt.
Donald Trump is working to quit his _________ habit.
Donald Trump keeps his hair lustrous by rubbing _________ deep into his scalp.
During the next debate I'm going to keep focus on _________.
Experts have warned us that the _________ pandemic is inevitable.
George Bush regrets not focusing on _________ more.
George Bush's new painting will be a revealing look at _________.
Government of, by, and for __________.
Here's a few topics for discussion when the Pope visits: _________, _________, and _________.
Hillary Clinton wants to focus her campaign on __________.
Hillary's email divulged cryptic discussions on _________.
I am proud and excited to announce _________ as my running mate!
I come from a little town called _________, Arkansas.
I did not have sexual relations with _________.
I found _________ under Al Gore's mattress.
I grew up on a desolate _________ farm.
I have one word for you. Just one word, _________!
I inhaled. My dreamquest included a vision of _________. It shaped who I am.
I know _________ poses a direct threat to the United States.
I love the same activities every American enjoys; windsurfing, polo, and anything involving _________.
I plan on sending _________ to the British Prime Minister as a gift.
I pledge to raise taxes to create more _________.
I promise _________ for every hard working mother in our country.
I stand before you as someone who is against _________ in all circumstances.
I want a country of shared opportunities and _________.
I want you to elect a person who is cool on the outside but burns for _________ on the inside.
I will create a new national holiday celebrating _________.
I will replace baseball as America's pastime with a sport that involves _________.
I will shout _________ down the halls of Congress.
I will stand on the deck of an aircraft carrier, under a banner that says "_________" and declare it a rousing success.
I will tackle America's obesity problem by promoting an hour of daily exercise with _________.
I'd be happy to sit with Joe Six Pack at the local bar and discuss _________.
I'll work with Congress to get the _________ our children need.
I'm an expert in _________. I invented it.
I'm announcing the war on _________!
I'm not worried about _________ it will take care of itself.
I'm putting _________ first.
If Iran builds nuclear weapons I will unleash _________.
If we don't protect _________ American families will suffer.
Instead of a turkey, I think I will pardon _________ on Thanksgiving.
It's a simple dream, its about _________. It has always been about that.
It's not surprising, the cling to their guns and _________.
It's the _________, stupid.
Let me assert my belief that the only thing we have to fear is _________!
Long sultry nights at Camp David will be spent playing with _________.
Look at my record, I am the biggest proponent of _________.
My 3 step solution to regain American prominence abroad: _________, _________, and __________.
My campaign bus is fully stocked with _________.
My first Presidential scandal will involve gratuitous amounts of _________.
My grandpappy used to sit on the porch and sing an old tune about __________.
My greatest strength is _________.
My opponent has an unhealthy obsession with _________.
My post about _________ got the most likes.
My time in office will focus on the _________ crisis.
My two prong strategy for winning this election: _________ and _________.
Obama believes _________ is his greatest achievement in office.
Read my lips, no _________.
Sarah Palin's diary incessantly mentions _________.
The _________ industry will propel us toward a brighter future.
The best way to secure a majority of votes is to have_________ on every street corner.
There is a new axis of evil: _________, _________, and _________.
There is a secret room in the White House devoted to _________.
Vote your conscious, vote for _________.
Washington D.C. needs to be cleaned up. Everywhere you look you see _________.
We are witnessing the relentless spread of _________.
We just can't afford _________ anymore.
We must teach our children to resolve their conflicts with _________.
We will redirect the NSA to spy on _________.
We're not building a bridge to the past, we're building a bridge to _________.
What does Washington need? I always give the same answer, _________!
When Bill Clinton blows on his saxophone he probably thinks about _________.
When I meet voters I like to look them square in the eye and say "I need _________."
A cloud of joylessness that spreads across the Earth.

A giant hole.
A pegasus to Uranus.
A Port-O-Potty on a sweltering August day.
A punch in the fat.
A stick in the eye.
Abandoned ideals.
ABC gum.
Adult diapers.
Advice from carnies.
Aggressive meditation.
Al Gore riding a humpback whale.
Al Sharpton.
Alf.
Another crappy Steve Jobs biography.
Anxiety meds.
Apocalyptic Robot Wars.
Armpit fart noises.
Arson.
Atomic wedgies.
Awesome stuff.
Awkward middle school dances.
Baby back ribs.
Bae.
Banana hammocks.
Barack's blond wig.
Bats.
Bedazzled boxer shorts.
Beef Chow Mein.
Beer Pong.
Being a shill for extremist groups.
Being chased by goblins.
Being nice to chipmunks.
Being thick with nectar.
Belly flops.
Belting out power ballads in the shower.
Betrayal.
Bicep rubdowns.
Biden's IROC Camaro.
Biden's rockin mullet.
Big turd factories.
Bile filled burps.
Binge watching Golden Girls.
Bingo at the senior center.
Bitter hatred.
Bloodthirsty dictators.
Blowing chunks.
Bobbing for guinea pigs.
Boring weekends in Amish Country.
Bouncing on a pogo stick.
Bowing to my corporate masters.
Boxed wine.
Brazilian wax jobs.
Breastfeeding.
Breathing heavily on the phone and then quickly hanging up.
Brown Toledo tap water.
Bruce's Yams.
Bruised bananas.
Brushing a life size doll's hair all day.
Brushing my teeth once a week.
Buckets of fried chicken.
Buldge revealing unitards.
Butt flu.
Butt pimples.
Canker sores.
Captain Planet.
Caroling with Yoda.
Cats with gas.
Chasing sheep across the hills.
Cheap booze.
Cheapskates.
Chewing on handfulls of Mexican pharmacy drugs.
Chili cheese fries.
Chillin with my homies.
Chinese food.
Chris Christie's neck flab.
Cock fights.
Coffins.
Communism.
Conversations with an indifferent moose.
Cougars.
Cow tipping.
Crack houses.
Crotch kicks.
Crotch rockets.
Crushing debt.
Dance fights.
Dancing the Macarena.
Dangling hotdogs over a shark tank.
Dating people with low self-esteem.
Dead end jobs.
Deep hamstring stretches with Donald Trump.
Deez Nuts.
Deflated balls.
Destroying the economy.
Destroying the outdoors.
Diamond studded grillz.
Dick Cheney's glistening forehead.
Digging out belly lint.
Dimwitted Diplomats.
Disco Inferno.
Disney's cryogenically frozen head.
Dolphins eating potato chips.
Dork face.
Double rainbows.
Dropping my phone in the toilet.
Drunk Secret Service Agents.
Drunken selfies.
Dry heaves.
Dumpster fires.
Eating a gallon of ice cream alone in the dark.
Eating dirt.
Embezzling.
Endless invitations to play candy crush.
Endless pleasure.
Erotic haiku.
Exceedingly low standards.
Explosive diarrhea.
Extra meat in burrito bowls.
Extreme comb-overs.
Extreme couponing.
Facebook stalking.
Failing inner city schools.
Falling sleep on the toilet.
Fat lobsters.
Fat old Juan.
Filthy liars.
Finding a date on Craigslist.
Fishnet stockings.
Flabby bulge.
Flapjacks.
Flesh eating bacteria.
Floppy jowls.
Flying squirrels.
Footie pajamas.
Forbidden love.
French kissing.
Fresh coconuts.
Fresh Prince reruns.
Fried bologna.
Fudge.
Gas station sushi.
Gator Wrasslin.
Gently touching the boa constrictor.
George Bush's jorts.
George Bush's nude self portrait.
Gerbils with leprosy.
Gin.
Gingivitis.
Giraffe tongue.
Giving the finger to lame hipsters with beards.
Giving up.
Glittery vampires.
Gluing quarters to the sidewalk.
Going commando.
Going to the Inauguration Ball with my slow cousin.
Government shutdowns.
Granny panties.
Grape soda.
Greasy foreigners.
Grizzly Bears.
Guns.
Ham sandwiches.
Hemorrhoid cream.
Hillary's chin hair.
Hillary's leather whip.
Hocking loogies on voters from the rooftop.
Holding hands with my imaginary friend.
Homemade chunky yogurt.
Hopelessness.
Hormonal hurricanes.
Hot beef.
Hot wings.
Humiliating our allies.
Humiliating part time jobs.
Hunting with Dick Cheney.
Ice cold 40 oz. King Cobra.
Ignoring the Constitution.
Indian burns.
Ineptitude.
Inflaming religious groups.
Inhaling helium before every speech.
Insulting Santa Claus.
IRS ice cream socials.
Jello shots.
Jelly beans.
John Kerry's beat box album.
John Kerry's dream journal.
Juicy bacon cheeseburgers.
Kazoo lessons.
Keg stands.
Kicking a bodybuilder when he isn't looking and then running away.
KISS coverbands.
Lame pharmaceutical commercials.
Languidly dancing in front of the bathroom mirror.
Larry.
Late night burritos.
Laughing while people talk about their goals in life.
Lawyers.
Leprechaun traps.
Licking the bathroom floor.
Lightsabers.
Limp handshakes.
Lip injections.
Liposuction.
Losing faith in humanity.
Lukewarm hot dogs.
Lunch bags filled with glue.
Lying nightly news anchors.
Making Chinese diplomats pull my finger.
Making fun of the Prime Minister's teeth.
Mamma's boy.
Marco Rubio's hair gel.
Margarita night.
Mashed potatoes.
Medical waste.
Meth labs.
Mind numbing lectures.
Mindless consumerism.
Minimum wage.
Money.
Monster trucks.
Mother Earth's goodness.
Muffin tops.
Murder.
My beer gut.
My candyass running mate.
My coworkers boring vacation photos.
My dickhead roomate.
My happy place.
My hillbilly family.
My meat.
My milkshake.
My pants.
My pet llama.
My psycho ex.
My soft eyes and pouty lips.
My tight fitting, grease stained sweatshirt.
Neck beards.
Night terrors.
Ninjas.
North Korean bowling shoes.
Not being able to button your pants.
Not really caring about global warming.
Obama's Portuguese water dog.
Obama's swim cap.
Obamacare.
Olive loaf.
Our Chinese Overlords.
Our country's pathetic youth.
Outlandish beliefs.
Overly sensitive vegetarians.
Patty cake with Rush Limbaugh.
Percocet.
Perfect hair.
Performing a rain dance while wearing only chaps.
Perusing farmersonly.com
Petting a lobster.
Picking bugs out of a hippies dreadlocks.
Picking scabs.
Pigeon droppings.
Piles of nukes.
Pillow fights.
Pina Coladas.
Pit bulls.
Pit stains.
Pitching a tent.
Pizza bagels.
Plantar warts.
Playing tag with Jeb Bush.
Playing with my Slinky.
Plucking nipple hair.
Pocket hockey.
Pointing out other people's flaws.
Pointy bras.
Poison.
Popping zits.
Powdered donuts.
Pretending I'm not dead on the inside.
Prince Charles on a Slip'N Slide.
Princess jammies.
Pudding skin.
Punching mimes.
Purple nurples.
Pus.
Putin's scalp cream.
Questionable modern art.
Quilting with Aunt Gertrude.
Racing Hoveround Scooters.
Radical socialism.
Rainbow wigs.
Rainbows and Unicorns.
Random prescription side effects.
Raving lunatics.
Rectal thermometers.
Repealing the First Amendment.
Reptilian Senators.
Riding a burro to a Taco Bell.
Riding a unicycle.
Riding the Loch Ness Monster while guzzling scotch.
Ripe melons.
Roach motels.
Robbing dollar stores.
Rolling Bubble Boy down a hill.
Rubber duckies.
Rubber nipples.
Rubbing the Buddha.
Rubbing the pot roast all over my chest.
Running naked through sprinklers.
Ruth Bader Ginsburg's hard core rap album.
Salty nuts.
Sarah Palin's crazy pills.
Screaming at inanimate objects.
Seated aerobics.
Secular wickedness.
Senators on performance enhancing drugs.
Serial killers.
Serving Riunite to the French delegation.
Sexy Abe Lincoln.
Shameless pandering.
Sharp objects.
Shaving a gorilla.
Shoplifting.
Shotgunning brewskies.
Sissies.
Six pack abs.
Slapping the monkey.
Sloppy Joes.
Smiles and hugs.
Smoking crack.
Smoking three packs a day.
Smooth jazz.
Snot rockets.
Soccer moms.
Soul Train reruns.
Soupy coleslaw.
Space zombies.
Spanky time.
Speaking gibberish and pretending its Spanish.
Spider veins.
Spontaneous breakdancing.
Spray tans.
Spreading joy throughout the land.
Squeezing the Charmin.
Stadium urinals.
Stained motel pillows.
Stained underwear.
Stalking Britney Spears.
Stanky breath.
Stapling my pants to a chair.
Star Trek nerds.
Staring contests with Washington's portrait.
Steaming bowls of beans.
Stepping on a Lego.
Stranger danger.
Strechy pants.
Strippers.
Stroking the camel.
Stuffing the ballot box with pepperoni.
Sucking my thumb.
Sucking on an exhaust pipe.
Sweatin' to the Oldies.
Sweatshops.
Sweaty Elvis impersonators.
Swedish meatballs.
Sweet cherry pie.
Sweet mixtapes.
Talking baby movies.
Tax seminars.
Ted Cruz's bong pipe.
Teen Wolf.
Teepeeing the Veep's house.
Telling Putin dirty jokes.
Telling the same fart joke over and over.
Tequila shooters.
That Band-Aid I found in my burger.
That creep in accounting.
That cute Congressman.
That idiot at Starbucks who sits there for hours using free Wifi.
That jerk that over pronounces foreign words.
That little hard bit you find in your chicken nuggets.
That nerd who takes forever to order at Panera.
That one freakishly long nose hair.
That rank odor coming from the dog.
That scary clown standing right behind you.
The boogeyman.
The darkness that lies deep within my soul.
The Dump.
The extra fries in the bottom of the bag.
The gale force of a thousand seastorms.
The meat sweats.
The poor and disenfranchised.
The Pork Festival Pagent Queen.
The Rock.
The Supreme Court Jazz Choir.
The Supreme Court Swimsuit Calendar.
The thug life.
The Truffle Shuffle.
Thick arm hair.
Those sleazeballs in Congress.
Three martini lunches.
Thumb wrestling.
Tick infested hell holes.
Tighty whities.
Tiptoeing through the tulips.
Toenail fungus.
Toga parties.
Tossed salad.
Total and complete boredom.
Trailer parks.
Trampy Halloween costumes.
Tripping elderly roller skaters.
Trolling Twitter.
Truck stop love.
Twig and berries.
Unbearable sadness.
Uncomfortable staring.
Uncontrollable public drooling.
Uncontrollable weeping.
Underfunding public schools.
Underwater monsters.
Unidentified burning crotch rash.
Vanilla Ice.
Verbally abusing the shift manager at Arby's.
Vests for snakes.
Vicious attack ads.
Visiting Snarlac the jungle planet of Alpha Centauri.
Voodoo curses.
Vote for Mob favors.
Wasting the whole day eating churros.
Water balloons filled with maple syrup.
Waterslides.
Weapons of mass destruction.
Wearing a pink fedora.
Weed.
Weenie roasts.
Wet cheese.
Wet willies.
Whatever.
Whiskey served in a dirty glass.
Wiffle ball.
Witchcraft.
Wizard spells.
Wooden teeth.
Yo Momma.
Yo sista so dumb.
Yoga pants.
Your face.
Zentos- King of the barbarian horde.
Zero effort.

http://cadsaboutmatrimony.com/
Created by Redditor AileaZapler
____________ doesn’t count as cheating.

____________. A sure-fire cure for the seven-year itch.
___________. A wedding gift you’ll cherish forever.
__________: grounds for divorce in all 50 states.
A healthy long-term sex life is built on ____________.
Along with something borrowed and something blue, be sure to take __________ with you down the aisle.
Being married means having the freedom to embrace ___________.
Between the champagne toast and the cake-cutting, there was __________.
Consider including __________ in your vows.
Every wedding toast should include at least one mention of ___________.
First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes ____________.
How did you celebrate your first anniversary?
If you like it, then you should put _________ on it.
In a committed adult relationship, ____________ goes a long way.
In a marriage, whatever the question is, the answer is always __________.
Instead of a garter toss, try ____________.
It’s not _________ that puts strain on a relationship, it’s ___________.
It’s trendy to include ___________ in your wedding these days.
Love is patient, love is kind. Love is _____________.
Make sure you have __________ and the rest will take care of itself.
Marriage is a lot of work, which mainly consists of _____________.
Marriage: the end of ____________ and the beginning of ____________.
Nothing gets a wedding reception fired up like ___________.
Nothing says “fulfilling life-long commitment” like ___________.
She’s not just my wife. She’s also ____________.
Studies show that married people are much more likely than single people to have ___________.
The ceremony ended with ____________.
The couple has a wonderful life filled with ______________ ahead of them.
The first five years are the hardest. After that, it’s all __________.
The first issue the couple tackles in marriage counseling will be ____________.
The only thing worse than __________ at a wedding is ____________.
The proposal featured __________.
The wedding cake was shaped like ____________.
The word “husband” comes from the Latin word for ___________.
Their first fight as a married couple was about __________.
There’s nothing more romantic than ____________.
True love means __________.
What did the rehearsal dinner taste like?
What saved your marriage?
What should every couple incorporate into their first dance?
What the fuck is your problem?
What unique detail did the bride’s dress include?
What was the happiest memory from the honeymoon?
What was your favorite wedding photo of?
What will be the best thing about the couple’s married sex life?
What will the groom think of when he first sees the bride on their wedding day?
What's the most common obstacle to consummating a marriage on one's wedding night?
What’s a favorite pastime of the family you’re marrying into?
What’s a sure sign of a healthy marriage?
What’s the #1 cause of wedding day jitters?
What’s the best way to spice up your marriage after years of monotony?
What’s the couple’s favorite shared hobby?
What’s the groom hiding in his underwear?
What’s the only thing sexier than confidence?
What’s the secret to a long and happy marriage?
“Intimacy issues.”
A “business trip.”
A 50% divorce rate.
A bizarre love octagon.
A botched genital piercing.
A butthole full of mustard.
A colorful assortment of butt plugs.
A daily, futile power struggle.
A demonstration of who really wears the pants in this family.
A diamond the size of Uranus.
A digital chastity belt.
A disturbingly life-like blow-up doll.
A DJ with a Wham! obsession.
A drunk karaoke version of “Take My Breath Away.”
A drunk relative muttering racial slurs.
A forged prescription for STD meds.
A gag ball and a riding crop.
A godless harlot.
A good old-fashioned case of whiskey dick.
A groomsman confessing he always secretly loved you.
A groomsman in a kilt …and nothing else.
A half-finished Brazilian wax job.
A happy ending.
A hasty vasectomy.
A healthy work-life balance.
A heart made of sentient nanobots.
A heart-shaped Jacuzzi filled with champagne and Viagra.TM
A hickey from a stripper.
A hot neighbor with no conscience and nothing to lose.
A lifetime of crippling regret.
A lifetime of judgmental glances from your in-laws.
A lifetime subscription to Big Black Butts magazine.
A little same-sex experimentation.
A little too much glitter.
A long, awkward pause before she says "I do."
A maid of honor with no shame.
A mediocre dominatrix.
A misunderstanding involving a strap-on.
A mustache ride.
A mysterious stain on his tuxedo.
A nervous breakdown at IKEA.™
A pair of rusty handcuffs and a bottle of lube.
A pale slurry of tears, icing, and denial.
A penis that’s almost too big.
A penis with a smiley face.
A pound of weed and a Mexican stripper.
A quivering pile of love jelly.
A raging libido.
A reluctant, eye-rolling apology.
A secret second family in Canada.
A see-through wedding gown.
A severed finger in the wedding cake.
A shrieking biological alarm clock.
A small price to pay for half off the catering.
A solid five-year plan.
A tasteful spray tan.
A thousand shitty wedding-planning websites.
A three-way in Vegas.
A timeless reading from Fifty Shades of Grey.
A top-shelf prostitute.
A veil made out of duct tape.
A waterproof, vibrating attachment.
Admitting defeat.
Adultery.
All the sacrifices that come with it.
An elaborate alien abduction fantasy.
An unacceptable volume of body hair.
Bad dragon erotica.
Being kind of hormonal.
Being too hung-over for a hand job.
Blaming it on the dog.
Blaring “Gangnam Style” on repeat.
Blood on the sheets.
Breaking the hymen.
Brides.com
Cashing in the kids’ college fund to pay off your substantial gambling debts.
Cat-like night vision.
Changing both your last names to “Danger.”
CheapRussian
Coveting your neighbor’s polyamorous lifestyle.
Daily reminders about who actually pays the mortgage.
Decorating the house with vagina-inspired artwork.
Deep existential loneliness.
Delirious, infectious happiness.
Doing what Jesus would do.
Don Draper.
Drinking your troubles away nightly.
Each other.
Except one.
Fairy-themed cosplay.
Faking a pregnancy.
Faking it until making it.
Falling a little more in love every day forever.
Falling asleep during oral sex.
Far too many dildos.
Feelings of inadequacy.
Fighting over the remote control.
Fighting over whether or not you’re fighting.
Finding out you’re actually cousins.
Finding your soul mate.
Foreplay.
Forgetting your anniversary, year after year.
Forgetting your birth control pills.
Gay marriage.
Getting a dog.
Getting a pube stuck in your teeth.
Getting caught masturbating to hentai porn.
Getting high and making out.
Getting kicked out of your own wedding reception.
Getting tired of being on top.
Going black, and never going back.
Gratuitous PDA on Facebook.
Grocery shopping in a bathrobe.
Hearing the same jokes over and over again for all eternity.
Herpes.
Hiding the M&Ms.
High-fiving after sex.
His prostate.
Hogging the bathroom.
Holding hands when you get old.
Homoerotic undertones.
Hyperventilating at the gynecologist’s office.
Just giving up.
Keeping tabs. Always keeping tabs.
Knowing way too much about each other’s bathroom habits.
Leaving little love notes around the house.
Life in a nudist vegan hippie commune.
Long walks at sunset ON DRUGS.
Low self-esteem.
Low sperm motility.
Lower expectations.
Make-up sex.
Making a big fat deal out of nothing.
Making out in public.
Married sex.
Marrying an axe murderer.
Martha Stewart.
Matching denim outfits.
Meaning something completely different by the word “facial.”
Meeting the weekly cunnilingus quota.
Mormons.
Motherfucking cupcakes.
Mowing the fucking lawn.
Multiple orgasms.
Naked aggression.
Neanderthal mating habits.
Nipple clamps on the gift registry.
No. Shame.
Not knowing what a rusty trombone is.
Not remembering your wedding night.
One too many blow job shots.
Open, honest communication.
Over 5,000 flavored condoms.
Paralyzing, all-consuming fear of commitment.
Passive-aggressive notes on the fridge.
People constantly telling you that marriage is a lot of work.
PMS-ing at the altar.
Pooping with the door open.
Post-coital bliss.
Praying and reading the Bible.
Praying and reading the Torah.
Pretending you were just kidding.
Putting the cats in the pre-nup.
Ranch dressing.
Realizing the Kama Sutra is actually really lame.
Really letting yourself go.
Refusing to shave.
Rephrasing it as an “I feel” statement.
Ring finger tattoos.
Running out of things to talk about.
Saving yourself for marriage.
Saying “Me so horny!” in a Yoda voice.
Secretly drunk-dialing exes.
Seven tubs of ass wax.
Several decades of festering resentment.
Sex on the kitchen table.
Sexercise.
Sharing a bank account.
Sharing all your most embarrassing secrets.
Skinny dipping in a vat of bubble solution.
Sleeping on the couch.
Sleeping with your therapist.
Some innocent wife-swapping among friends.
Someone getting arrested.
Someone using the word “Bridezilla” one more goddamn time.
Staying up all night talking.
Storm trooper centerpieces.
Swinging.
Taking things too literally.
Talking dirty in a Spanish accent.
Testosterone-induced rage.
Texting instead of talking.
That bridesmaid that won't stop crying.
That dirty weekend in Cabo.
That time the bride thought she was a lesbian.
The best man dressed in drag.
The best man’s dark sexual past.
The ceremonial spanking of the bride.
The challenge of balancing career and family.
The Chicken Dance.
The happiest man on Earth.
The secret handshake.
The sudden need to conceal a massive boner.
The wedding-industrial complex.
Things you can never unsee.
Tickle-fight-induced vomiting.
Too damn many kids.
Too little, too late.
Unconditional love.
Undying love and eternal affection.
Unicorns and lollipops.
Unleashing the vixen within.
Unplanned pregnancy!
Unwavering support for your career.
Vaginal juices.
Walking down the aisle to “Baby Got Back.”
Way too much sensual massage oil.
Wearing a t-shirt that says “I TOLD YOU SO.”
Wedding crashers passing out Ecstasy to your elderly relatives.
Weekly date nights at the local BDSM dungeon.
Whisper-fighting in the kitchen.
Winking at waitresses.
Wishing this moment could last forever.
Wishing you were half as happy as your social media posts make you seem.
Wondering if you made the right decision.
Wondering where that rash came from.
Wondering who’s gonna die first.
Your creepy uncle with the wandering hands.
Your dad showing up drunk. Like always.
Your father-in-law's erectile dysfunction pills.
Your unborn children.
Cards Against Profanity

https://www.amazon.com/Pioneer-Plus-Cards-Against-Profanity/dp/B01MQUBFVL
Cards Against Profanity is a clean, family and grandma friendly spin off of Cards Against Humanity.
______ is just showing off.

______ is the best way to avoid volunteering for the PTA.
______ would only happen in my worst nightmares.
______: it just keeps going, and going, and going…
______: Keep out of reach of children.
______. That is my life goal.
______is all the same to me.
60 Minutes is having a 3-hour segment on ______.
A CLUE mystery revealed: Miss Scarlet, with a ______.
A miracle cure is ______.
At the city council meeting this month, we will talk about ______.
During work, my mind usually wanders to ______.
Grandma always gives us ______ when we visit.
I always keep ______ in my car.
I am responsible for ______.
I can never have too much of ______.
I can only get through my day with ______.
I don't know one person who doesn't love ______.
I got bit by a radioactive spider and gained ______.
I introduce myself to strangers by telling them about ______.
I knew we would be friends when I found out they had ______.
I never expected to get ______ when I became a Jedi.
I never want to see ______ again.
I never worked harder in my life to get ______.
I tried to soothe an angry cat with ______. I failed.
I was going to go to college, but ______ got in the way.
I will be thrilled if I never have to be a part of ______ again.
In my last will and tetament, I will leave all my money to _______.
It is a truth universally acknowledged that ______ brings happiness.
It's time for me to share my story. I will call it, ______: A Memoir.
Let's address the huge elephant in the room: ______.
My bedroom smells like ______.
My high school teacher lied to me about ______.
My ideal spouse is ______.
My most memorable day involved ______.
My worst date ever involved ______.
Never go to church without ______.
Never let Boy Scouts be in charge of ______.
One of the best things about Friday night is _______.
Spending time with ______ makes me happy.
The ______ Club was the most popular in my high school.
The best activity to do while camping is ______.
The hottest new Broadway show of the year: ______: The Musical.
The last thing I want to show up on my doorstep on a Friday night is ______.
The little-known eighth deadly sin: ______.
The Lord said, "Let there be ______."
The Seven Dwarfs' awkward cousin: ______.
The sight of ______ always makes me cry like a small child.
The very definition of dread: ______.
The worst thing to wake up to on a Saturday morning is ______.
They said I would find a fun surprise in the cereal box. Instead I found _______.
This is your pilot speaking. Please prepare for ______.
Though some people think it's shameful or embarrassing, I would never apologize for _____.
To have all my dreams come true, I first need to ______.
Tonight the President of the United States will reveal his stance on ______.
What am I famous for?
What brought me and my spouse together?
What did Santa Claus bring you last year?
What do you use to calm a screaming toddler?
What gets out of hand absurdlyfast?
What I would win the Nobel Peace Prize for.
What is something you cannot un-see?
What is the first item on my resume?
What is the key to happiness?
What is the secret ingredient in barbecue sauce?
What is the secret to my heart?
What new year's resolution have I failed at 4 years in a row?
What was Moses's greatest miracle?
What will immediatley put me in a foul mood?
What will you always find at a Republican gathering?
What's my go-to excuse when a weirdo asks me out?
What's the first thing I would do after winning the Mega Millions?
When I die, I hope heaven will have ______.
When I ran into an old friend and they asked me what I was up to, the first thing that popped out of my mouth was
______.
Without ______, the world would be at peace and full of joy and love.
Without Christians, we would never know ______.
You are 90% more likely to suffer from emotional trauma when exposed to ______.
12-hour Netflix marathons

1st place in the talent show
70-year-olds who are in better shape than me
A blimp advertising hair regrowth
A bowl cut
A Boy Scouts' camping trip gone wrong
A breath of fresh air
A brother from another mother
A bulging merit badge
A Canadian otter
A cat on a leash
A Chia Pet
A child prodigy
A child's laughter
A combover
A cough that lasts for 7 weeks
A dark and stormy night
A doctorate degree in ufology
A doorway to Narnia
A family union
A fire-breathing chipmunk
A fitness kick (This too shall pass.)
a freezer-burned casserole
A friendly game of "Who Can Annoy the Other Person More?"
A fully balanced breakfast
A game of miniature golf for all the marbles
A girls-night-out with my mother-in-law
A glorious burst of sunlight through clouds
A hat much too small for my head
A heartfelt apology
A heartwarming greeting card
A hidden agenda
A hilarious bumper sticker
A hive of hornets
A horcrux
A horse named Destiny
A karaoke solo
A land of plenty
A lost Shakespearean play
A Lunchable. Pizza kind.
A minimal skill set
A misunderstood villian
A never-ending to-do list
A party ruined by food allergies
A peg leg
A pet turtle
A poltergeist
A poor British accent
A precious panda bear screensaver
A quality female role model
A really long shower
A resounding high five
A romantic spark
A room full of Polly Pockets that I have to clean
A sabre-toothed tiger
A selective memory
A sensational sunrise
A shiny penny
A spider so big it could eat a man
A startingly high-pitched voice
A surprise proposal
A technicolor dreamcoat
A trip to the thrift store
A two-for-one coupon at Sizzlers
A vampire romance novel
A vat of chocolate chip cookie dough
A very sensitive ego
A weak gag reflex
A weak grasp on reality
A wedding reception. Again.
A wish come true
A yellow submarine
Accompanying the choir with a harmonica
Actors that try to sing
Adulthood
Aggressive kiosk workers
Airplane stories
All things divine
All things that creepeth
An acquired taste
An aggressive game of spoons
An alarming sense of direction
An archery contest between Legolas, Hawkeye, Katniss, and Robin Hood
An assorted box of chocolates
An aversion to dairy
An awkward hug/handshake exchange
An awkward musical number
An endless wave of puppies
An entire game of Monopoly
An HGTV addiction
An impressive balancing act
AN impulsive need to avoid stepping on cracks at all costs
An insect collection
An intense phobia of flying squirrels
An outift that does not disappoint me
An overactive imagination
An overwhelming cat odor
An unruly stench
AP calculus
Appendicitis
Awkward silences at dinner with the in-laws
Backpacking through the Australian Outback
Bad puns
Baklava-from the neighbors
Band practice
Batman's voice
Baymax
Bedazzling
Being alone
Being dead serious
Being hungry at the grocery store
Being the most attractive person in the room
Being unable to accept that the number pi is without end
Being wholly unimpressed
Belly button lint
Biffing it on the Slip 'N Slide
Big Brother
Big ideas
Blasphemy
Bono
Breakfast for dinner
Broken promises
Bubblegum-flavored toothpaste
Camp songs
Caroline Bingley
Celine Dion
Charlie Brown
Chocolate rabbits
Choking on Pixy Stix dust as I dump it down my throat
Christian rock
Christmas beyond compare
Chubby cheeks
Cold pizza
Coleslaw
College tuition
Coming home from college to find my room was given away to my younger siblings and I've been forgotten
Conflicting personalities
Congratulatory snaps
Costco on a Saturday
Cranking the stereo when Josh Groban comes on
Crime dramas
Critically acclaimed films
Crossing my heart and hoping to die
Crunch Berries
Customer service representatives
Daddy issues
Dancing to my favorite song like I ain't ever gonna stop
Deep conversations
Deep-fried anything
Diet Coke
Disney movies
Dogs in sweaters
Donald Trump
Donny Osmond
Door-to-door salesmen
Drawing a mustache on Dad as he snores
Dreams of being a Formula 500 racer
Dressing up as Dobby for the Harry Potter movie release
Dropping and breaking a jar of pickles into a million pieces and wondering what I did to the universe to deserve this
Drying asphalt
Duct tape patch job
Eating a 20-serving bag of chips in one sitting
Eating a spoonful of cinnamon
Eating the refrigerator's entire contents after breaking your diet
Eating until I hate myself
Egg whites
Enjoying a banana
Enjoying a lollipop on a warm summer's afternoon
Enough chocolate to drown in
Euphoria
European immigrants
Excellent hygiene
Excruciating sunburns
Exploding earth worms
Extreme opinions
Eye drops
Family Christmas cards
Family pictures
Feeling pity
Finding money in my pocket that I forgot was there
Finding that the two-year-old has redecorated my kitchen with cream of wheat and grape jelly
Fire
Fish & chips
Flat soda
Forgetting a jacket
Friends reruns all day long
Frolicking in a field of wildflowers
Fundraisers
Future Farmers of America
George Washington
Giggling in inappropriate situations
Girl Scout cookies
Girl Scout sewing merit badge
Giving lectures
Glow-in-the-dark toenail polish
Going green
Googling myself
Greek tragedies
Greener grass
Grudges
Handel's Messiah
Hangman. What better way to kill time?
Happiness
Having eight small children
Having Mariah Carey stuck in my head for several hours straight
Having my children live with me until the day I die
Having the biggest, baddest sewing machine on the block
Having the weight of the world on my shoulders
Having unprecedented skill with the bo staff
Henry V
Hips that do not lie
Holding something high to keep it away from a short person
Hot Pockets
How sauce. Loads of it.
Humming commercial jingles
Immortality
Inadequacies
Intense hypochondria
Intramural sports
Jack Sparrow
Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
Jeans that I wore in high school
Jingle Bell Rock
Killing the joke. Again.
Knitting magazines
Knowing right from wrong
Kryptonite
Late night scary movies
Legs that haven't seen the sun for generations
Light-up sneakers
Loud, dramatic entrances
Macaroni and cheese
Major surgery
Making a pouty face
Making it big in Hollywood
Marshmallows
Mastering passive aggression
McDonald's breakfast menu
Meat served on sticks
Memorizing state capitals
Mermaids
Microwave dinner
My best Saturday Night Fever moves
My bleeding heart
My boss
My dad's plaid suit from 1976
My daughter and her friends having an earsplitting karaoke night
My Facebook page
My family
My favorite person in the world
My first date
My guilty celebrity crush
My junior high diary
My mom's minivan
My mom's side of the family
My naturally curly hair
My past
My pinky toe
My Saturday best
My son's "band" playing in the garage
My soul shattered into tiny pieces
My TARDIS ringtone going off and everyone in the room looking for the Doctor
My three-year-old's "artwort"
Near-death experiences
Ninja training
Not being able to keep a gold fish alive for TWO DAYS
Not saying anything at all when I don't have something nice to say
Novembeard
Olaf
One-sided text message conversations
Overly dramatic eye-rolling
Oversized earlobes
Overwhelming enthusiasm
Pattern baldness
Patting my head and rubbing my stomach at the same exact time. Tricky stuff.
Percussive maintenance
Perfect harmony
Phlebotomy
Phone games
Picking a scab that's much too fresh
Picking on younger siblings
Playing the organ like I'm the biggest boss in town
Pokemon cards
Poor taste
Portion-controlling
Powerful allergies
Praise. Unadulterated praise.
Prayer
Precious, tiny, fluffy penguins
Presidential debates
Preteens
Pretending like I can't hear when someone asks me to do something that stinks
Pristine manners
PTA meetings
Pulling limbs off Barbie Dolls
Putting a racoon in the scout master's sleeping bag
Queen Elsa
Racebending
Reading in the bathroom
Reading the entire Harry Potter series in one week
Red shirts
Regrettable life choices
Reliving the glory days
Reusable shopping bags
Reversing the Earth's rotation
Rocky Balboa
Rocky relationships
Roller hockey
Roommates that have never learned to wash a dish
Root beer floats
Royally failing at a Pinterest recipe
Ruining lives
Ruling the world
Running a 14-minute mile
Russell Crowe
Salt in the sugar shakers
Santa Claus
Saturday morning cartoons
Saving baby bluebirds from an unstable nest
Saving lives
Saying the longest prayer known to man
Scary Spice
Secrets
Seeing the future
Self-reflection
Self-tanner gone wrong
Selfies
Setting the world's record of number of grapes fitting in one's mouth
Shakespeare enthusiasts
Shaving a fully clothed person into a pool of water
Shoes several sizes too large
Showing up for the free food
Sidewalk chalk drawings
Singers that try to act
Sleep talking
Smacking my funnybone
Smashing a bug and feeling it crunch
Some peace and quiet
Speaking fluently in pig latin
Speaking in the third person
Spelling bees
Spending $80 in the nickel arcade
Stale Cheerios
Starting more diets than one can count
Staying up all night to finish The Lord of the Rings extended version trilogy
Stepping on Legos
Struggling to help family members come to terms with their poor election decisions
Strutting like you own the place
Sudoku
Sugar. Lots and lots of sugar.
Sympathy
Talk like a Pirate Day
Tap dancing like there's no tomorrow
Teaching Grandma about technology
Teenagers recording themselves singing
Terrible balance
That one family that consistently gives out the nastiest Christmas treats
The 400th time I watched Frozen
The adult that takes Halloween much too seriously
The chosen one
The color guard team captain
The creepy Care Bear stare
The Dark Lord hiding under my turban
The day the Mutant Ninja Turtles become adults
The Disneyland parade
The dry council
The Electric Slide
The entire contents of my piggy bank
The extreme use of idioms
The first crack at the cheese tray
The glory days
The golden calf
The great outdoors
The inability to be seen in public with an untucked shirt
The inability to grow facial hair
The lady who struggles to harmonize. Boy, does she try!
The Land Before Time XVII
The last cookie
The latest and greatest Death Star
The liberal use of the word literally
The Little Rascals
The magic trick guy. We all know the one.
The next-door neighbors
The one safe place where my sarcasm is accepted
The police
The president of Homeland Security
The quiet game
The science fair
The Star Wars prequels
The sweet smell of summer
The sweet taste of freedom
The time I figured out that "Twinkle, Twinkle" and the "Alphabet Song" had the same tune
The time I wet the bed and kept it a secret
The ultimate Instagramming mom
The valiant effort of trying to make sense of the entire Old Testament
The warm tinglies
The wickedly energetic chorister
The world's largest fly swatter
Those losers who spend the night playing card games
Tiny houses
Tony the Tiger
Tracking
Trick candles
Turning it off and on again
Unexpected visitors
Useless celebrity facts
Utter nonsense
Validating my spirituality
Veganism
Velociraptor attacks
Waking up at the crack of 1:30 p.m.
Waking up early
Walking in a straight line
War and Peace
Warm vanilla sugar-smelling lotion
Wasting hours of my life
Watching my daughter's 2-hour dance recital without falling asleep
Watching my savings acount slip between my fingers
Water balloon fights
When I picked my nose as an adult
Winning
Word-for-word renditions of "Bohemian Rhapsody"
YOLO
YouTube videos
Yzma (Emperor's New Groove)
Cards for the Masses

https://www.amazon.com/Cards-Masses-Your-Parents-Together/dp/B00QCOJC2U
Editor Note: This set is not recommended for purchase. Instead of separate prompt and response cards as is standard for
the game, these cards are printed so that the prompt cards are on one side and the response cards are on the other side.
Cards are presented as they appear. Any spelling, punctuation, or grammar errors are theirs.
______ burns 360 calories per hour.

______ can help any relationship.
______ can save you 15% or more on car insurance.
______ is rare. If you find it, keep it.
______ kills about 450 people in the United States a year.
______. A metaphor for life.
______. Strong enough for a man, meant for a woman.
______. Tastes awful, but it works!
$100? Highway robbery! For that much I'd expect ______.
A magician never reveals ______.
A true friend is someone who ______.
As a kid, I was afraid ______ was hiding under my bed.
At my last physical, the doctor told me I need to cut back on ______.
Back in my day ______ only cost a quarter.
Choosy moms choose ______.
Cleaning while the kids are awake is like ______.
Do you want to join my band? It's called ______.
Don't be silly! Of course I can ______.
Dude, it's a ______ cheer up!
Everyday has 86,400 seconds. And I'm always a second away from ______.
Find a guy who ruins your ______, not your mascara.
For only $19.99 plus shipping and handling you can get ______ delivered right to your door.
Go-go gadget ______!
Good morning, people! You're ______ is awake… let the fun begin!
Having kids is like ______.
He reeked of ______ when he was pulled over.
He who controls ______ controls the world.
Horton is always forcing his ______ on other people.
I always call in sick to work when I have a bad case of ______.
I am filthy rich because I invested heavily in ______.
I am so over ______ and it hasn't even started yet.
I can't believe you like ______ too. We should hang out sometime.
I can't get no ______.
I didn't have any plans for the weekend, until I found ______ in the attic.
I do ______ on the side for some extra cash.
I don't know how I got sick, but I suspect it had something to do with ______.
I eat ______ for breakfast!
I hate when people think I am ______.
I kissed ______ and I like it.
I know you're my best friend because you ______.
I like sushi, but I have my doubts about the ______ roll.
I like to party… and by party I mean ______.
I lost my innocence when I saw ______ for the first time.
I said, "Do you speak my language?" He just smiled and gave me ______.
I want 30 sliders, 5 french fries and ______.
I want to go to school to study ______.
I'd rather be ______.
I'm usually a vegan, but I'll make an exception for ______.
If ______ were an Olympic sport, I'd take home the gold.
If it weren't for ______, my mind would have nowhere to go.
In hindsight having ______ at a child's birthday party was a bad idea.
In the grim darkness of the far future there is only ______.
Is ______ an instrument?
It is said that the Inuit have 40 different words for ______.
It's a fine line between pleasure and ______.
It's always fun when ______ are at the pool.
It's often argued that our ancestors would have never evolved without the aid of ______.
Karma is ______.
Life was difficult for cavemen before ______.
Mama always said life is like ______.
May I live to the age that I am ______.
Mom, I am not explaining ______ to you.
Mom, thank you for not ______.
Moral at work was boosted when they put ______ in the vending machines.
My cousin got kicked out of the house after she brought home ______.
My favorite childhood memory is ______.
My high school yearbook reads "Most likely to ______.
My newest docuseries deals with people coping with ______.
My other car is a ______.
Nothing is better than cruising at 30,000 feet with ______.
Oh no! ______ is my only weakness!
Once upon a time I was sweet and innocent. Then ______ happened.
One moment while it ______.
One small step for man, one giant leap for ______.
Remember there is no "I" in ______.
Remember to look both ways before you ______.
Roads were closed today due to ______.
Say no to ______.
Science will never explain the origin of ______.
Sorry everyone, I just ______.
Stop staring at my ______.
Studies have shown ______ is good for you.
Sweet dreams are made of ______. Who am I to disagree?
Thank heavens, my mom remembered to pack ______ in my lunch today.
The best part of waking up is _____ in your cup.
The best picture from summer vacation is of ______. ______ can be deceiving.
The hot new nightclub in town is called ______.
The quality of service you may receive will depend directly on your _____ and my mood.
The road to success is paved with ______.
The savvy New Yorker's guide to ______.
The theme for our senior prom will be ______.
There is nothing worse than seeing ______ in the light of day.
Today I got ______.
Trust me; I'm ______.
Try walking a mile in my ______.
Watch out for ______. They will cut you.
We don't negotiate with ______.
We've become a nation of ______.
Well that sure went over like a ______.
What exactly are you a doctor of?
When I am sitting on the toilet I like to think about _______.
When life gives you lemons, make ______.
You are like the ______ of my life.
You better not put ______ in your mom's Crockpot.
You can never have too much ______.
You kids have it easy today. Back in my day we had to work for our ______.
You never want to see how ______ is made.
You're as useless as ______.
You're in good hands with ______.
#Awesome
A $19.99 do it yourself wedding
A 20 piece chicken nugget meal for one person
A cactus
A cheese grater
A clown car
A faint smell of poop with no defined point of origin
A get-out-of-jail-free card
A gourmet restaurant for dogs
A hamburger and French Fries
A mall cop
A Mexican soap opera
A mouthful of soup
A ninja with uncontrollable flatulence
A preserved fetal pig
A puzzle too insanely hard to solve
A recall of hotdogs
A reputation for playing by the book
A sasquatch
A split personality that runs amok while I'm asleep
A strange feeling inside
Actually reading the terms of service
Addressing the issue
All the rice in China
Allergy to nuts
An actual elephant in the room
An alligator death roll
An itsy-bitsy teenie-weenie yellow polka dot bikini
An uncomfortable amount of monkeys
Are we there yet?
Awesome watch and decoder ring
Beans, beans, the musical fruit
Being the very best, like no on ever was
Bicker over the position of the Big Dipper
Breaking into a zoo to steal a monkey
Buying a new cell phone every year
Buying second hand underwear
Cold pizza
Crappy 1980's plastic Halloween costumes with a character printed on it
Detroit
Dial-up internet
Drink a gallon of milk
Drinking water from a garden hose
Eating out of the garbage
Extreme potato eating
Farting loudly in church
Fast food chain restaurant
Flooring it
Fresh cat pee
Headless Horseman
Herding cats
Hoarders
Hot bowl of grits
Hot snot
Invade Russia in the winter
Inverted controls
Ketchup water
Lipstick
Making it clear that Johnny is here
Men's beach volleyball
Mental illness
Murphy's law
Not fitting in
Novelty mugs that nobody uses
Parking like a jerk
Pasteurized processed cheese
Perform an autopsy
Pick of the litter
Pinkeye
Prank calling
Pregnant women and sweaty people
Projectile fart
Riding a tandem bicycle alone
Robots with human faces
Sarcasm so intense that it circles back to sincerity
Shame and dishonor
Shoe collectors
Slap someone with a large trout
Some stupid excuse
Squirting hot sauce in your eye
Stampede of "Black Friday" shoppers
Stepping on a plastic building brick
Stuff and things
Taste dried spit
That person that talks on the phone in the bathroom
The contents of vomit
The dreams of a child
The element of surprise
The founding fathers
The instigator of a food fight
The Nobel Peace Prize
The only good card in my hand
The point of no return
The shy kid in the corner
The things I do for love
The world's worst human being
Throwing out containers with rotten food in it
Toddlers
Tourists
Training your younger, better looking replacement
Two brothers and a donkey
Ugly children
Walking the dog
Wash your dirty feet
Watching your purchase get stuck inside of the vending machine
What could have been
Wireless technology
Worst dad in America
Your face
Your mom
Fun in the Oven

http://funintheovengame.com/
"Fun In The Oven" is a new, creative, and interesting card game that will bring something different to your next baby
shower. You're likely to learn a lot you never knew about pregnancy or parenting. This is a great game for co-ed baby
showers that will engage guests of all ages and keep you laughing!
______, it's even worse that a poopy diaper!

______, there's a cream for that.
All I want for Christmas is ______.
At 8 months pregnant, mom should do (or have) a lot of ______.
Before 1 year of age, the baby should be careful to avoid ______.
Dad seems to never notice ______.
Dad shouldn't be playing with ______ like a toy.
Grandma recommends ______ to help with ______.
How I got the baby to sleep.
I couldn't believe it when I learned about ______.
I know my baby always looks forward to ______.
I now look at ______ differently.
I often regret not (having) ______.
I should have learned more about _______.
I'm always fashionable with ______.
Mom fell asleep while dreaming of _______.
My first thought when my water broke was _______.
My friends question my decision about _______.
My Mother-in-law won't stop bugging me about ______.
Never tell an expectant father about _______.
Now that I have kids, my desire for ______ has diminished.
Now that my child is in day care, I think about _______.
Oh my, it's ______!
Oops… I spent the baby's college fund on ______.
Sometimes I long for ______.
The best form of contraception is ______.
The best thing about my partner is ______.
The best way to avoid getting pregnant is _______.
The thing I miss the most about life before children is ______.
The thing the baby shower is missing is ______.
To celebrate ______, tonight we are (having) ______.
We're ______!
What helps mom go to sleep?
What to expect when you're expecting.
What's that smell?
When I breastfeed I'm thinking of ______.
Where do babies come from?
Why I feel nervous.
Why I'm always running late.
Why I'm so excited.
A 103° fever.
A Baby Bjorn.
A banana and two cherries.
A boy.
A breast pump.
A broken condom.
A bun in the oven.
A changing table at a gas station.
A choking hazard.
A Costco-sized container of wet naps.
A dental damn.
A diaper full of melted candy bars.
A Diaper Genie.
A dirty martini.
A family outing.
A girl.
A grown man wearing diapers and sucking on a bottle.
A high chair.
A home water birth.
A life.
A lotus birth.
A moment so special you realize it was all worth it.
A needle as long as your forearm.
A pack of unfiltered cigarettes.
A penis.
A poopy diaper.
A positive pregnancy test.
A prenatal massage.
A rush of oxytocin.
A shotgun wedding.
A sippy cup.
A sound night's sleep.
A surrogate wish list.
A trail of Cheerios leading to the hall closet.
A turkey baster.
A vasectomy.
A virgin birth.
A wet nurse.
Alcohol.
Aliens.
An awkward middle name.
An epidural.
An episiotomy.
An unexpected stripper.
Baby butt cream.
Baby proofing the house.
Baby sign language.
Baby's first step.
Baby's first word.
Bath time.
Being 9½ months pregnant.
Being 99% sure the baby is yours.
Being able to eat whatever you want… except a long list of things.
Being knocked up.
Being mistaken for the nanny.
Bieng covered in partially digested breast milk… all the time.
Bodily functions.
Breastfeeding in public.
Caffeine.
Captain Fetus.
Celebrity baby names.
Chafed nipples.
Checking for GMOs on every food label.
Child abuse.
Choosing a baby name based on its availability as a website.
Choosing disposable diapers.
Choosing not to know the baby's gender.
Circumcision.
Cleaning the pacifier by wiping it with your mouth.
Comfortable sweatpants.
Contraception.
Cryopreserved cord blood.
Cutting the umbilical cord.
Dad singing lullabies.
Dad.
Dancing all night.
Date night.
Deciding whether babies are allowed in the "man cave".
Eating for two.
Eating solid foods.
Eating the placenta.
Elimination communication (poop talk).
Encapsulating the placenta.
Epic farts.
Explaining unconvetional family situations.
Explosive poop.
False labor.
Feeling like you've finally created something worthwhile.
Feeling the baby kick for the first time.
Feeling tired.
Filling out preschool applications while still pregnant.
Finding an OB/GYN that understands "your needs".
Finding out where babies really come from.
Finding out who the baby daddy is on a talk show.
Finding yourself in a delicate way.
Finding yourself in a family way.
Following the "helpful"advice of uncle Rick.
Formula made in China.
Fornication.
Fries dipped in a chocolate milkshake.
Gagging on a horse-pill sized prenatal vitamin.
Gerber baby food.
Gestational diabetes.
Getting pee in your face while changing a diaper.
Getting pregnant the first time you have sex.
Getting your friends to help with a post-baby Meal Train.
Giving a positive reaction to a baby shower gift you don't want.
Giving all the kids a present on everyone's birthday so no one gets jealous.
Going back to work to pay for preschool.
Going into labor.
Going on vacation.
Going to the ER in a panic only to discover nothing is wrong.
Googling "breastfeeding" and finding more than you bargained for.
Having a beer to stimulate milk production.
Having a stranger touch your belly.
Having another baby.
Having just one glass of champagne.
Having more sex while pregnant than you were before.
Having sex too soon after giving birth.
Having surprise twins… or triplets!
Having your mom stay for a week to help with the new baby.
Hemorrhoids?
Holding the baby for the first time.
Homemade baby food.
Hoping you go into labor before Mecury goes retrograde.
Hormonal changes.
Hot maternity lingerie.
In utero baby hiccups.
Inappropriate boners.
Inappropriate questions about your weight before you've told anyone you're pregnant.
Inducing labor.
Intersex gender.
Itchy homemade baby blankets.
Justifying my life choices to well-meaning strangers.
Kangaroo care.
Keeping your favorite baby stroller…even after it has been recalled.
Knowing what your baby is saying even when it sounds like gibberish to everyone else.
Lame baby shower games.
Lead based toys.
Learning another language so your baby can grow up bilingual.
Letting the pregnant lady cut ahead of you in the bathroom line.
Lochia. (don't ask)
Looking forward to the first family Christmas photo with the new baby.
Losing my virginity.
LSD.
Making a decision about what to do with the placenta.
Maternity fashion.
Meconium, or "Black tar alien poop".
Milky dribble.
Mistaking diaper cream for sunscreen.
Mittelschmerz.
Mom.
Mommy's little helper.
Mood swings.
Morning sickness.
Mother's intuition.
Mother's love?
My mother-in-law's advice.
Naming the baby after a celebrity that suffers a scandal a year later.
Natural childbirth.
Neck cheese.
Night-vision baby monitors.
Not being able to take the baby… anywhere!
Not being sure whether that's the baby kicking… or gas.
On the playa… six months pregnant.
One million YouTube views of "Doo Doo on Dada".
Onesies branded with cultural references the baby will never get.
Organic everything.
Ovaries… the female gonads.
Peeing?
Phantom pregnancy.
Pickles and ice cream.
Post-partum depression.
Posting the baby's video sonogram on the internet.
Pregnancy euphemisms.
Pregnancy gas.
Projectile vomit.
Prom night.
Pulling out.
Pumping breast milk.
Puréed peas.
Putting a condom on a banana.
Putting a rolled up towel next to you so you don't smother your co-sleeping baby.
Putting it up for adoption.
Putting the car seat in the front to use the carpool lane.
Realizing "cribs" is not just a TV show.
Realizing the hospital doesn't allow video cameras in the delivery room.
Realizing the only two phone numbers you know are your spouse's and OB/GYN's.
Recreational drugs.
Remembering how much fun a rattle can be… at first.
Requesting a paternity test.
Requesting an epidural too late.
Same-sex parents.
Scheduling a C-section a week early.
Secretly driving the baby without a car seat.
Seeing your feet again.
Skin as smooth as a baby's bottom.
Sleeping through the night.
Soft cheeses.
Somehow managing to fall asleep with a fragile infant next to you.
Spending the baby's college fund.
Spermicide.
Strained carrots.
Stretch marks.
Sucking snot out of the baby's nose.
Sunbathing your belly to prevent jaundice in the baby.
Sushi.
Swaddling.
Swimming in utero.
Swollen ankles.
Taking a 9+ month menstruation vacation.
Taking an extended paternity leave.
Talc-free baby powder.
Teenage pregnancy.
Telling people the baby's first word was "mom" when it was really "muh".
Temper tantrums.
Ten fingers and ten toes… whew!
Terrible kids TV shows.
That new baby smell.
That pregnancy glow.
That thing where your doula is also your sister.
The broken promise to abstain until marriage.
The comforting embrace of the womb.
The cool touch of a rectal thermometer.
The doctor telling you it's not real, it's all ion your head.
The fear that you will have an evil, talking baby like Stewie from "Family Guy".
The feeling you get when the baby looks back at you with "your eyes".
The hot nanny.
The latest in stroller technology.
The pain, the pain. Oh god! The pain.
The rhythm method.
The stork.
The terrible twos.
The torrid romance of scheduling sex around ovulation.
The water breaking at an inopportune time.
Throwing a gender revealing party.
Throwing Cheerios on the floor.
Throwing the baby out with the bathwater.
TMI.
Toddlers in tiaras.
Tongue thrusts. (reverse swallowing)
Trying to feel at home in the delivery room.
Trying to find the baby on a sonogram.
Unidentifiable rashes.
Using the last baby wipe when you desparately need another one.
Vaginas.
Vanishing twin. (fetal reabsorption)
Vomit volume in proportion to the niceness of the restaurant you are in.
Vomiting and pooping at the same time.
Waiting past 12 weeks to tell your friends and family you are pregnant.
Waiting too long after giving birth to have sex.
Watermelon!
Waxing "down there" before going into labor.
Whiskey on the gums.
Wishing I hadn't gottn that tattoo on my stomach.
Wishing it was you in the Mamaroo.
Women who say they love being pregnant.
Worrying about getting back to "pre baby" weight.
Worrying about whether it's BPA-free.
Humanity Hates Trump: Base Set

https://humanityhatestrump.com/
Originally on Kickstarter and had been successfully funded before its deadline, but faced an IP challenge from CAH.
Released on May 18, 2016.
_________ - it's gonna be huge!

_________ is the real reason Trump declared bankruptcy 4 times.
_________ is/are not the same thing by any stretch of the imagination as (a) _________.
_________ is/are Trump's greatest secret to great hair.
_________.com is the new name for JebBush.com.
All women flirt with me, consciously or unconsciously, thinking about _________.
Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for (a)
_________. He made a good decision.
Being President is easy. You just need _________.

Dear Santa, All I want for Christmas is _________. Love, Don
PS, Give Hillary _________.

Ever since _________, my life has gotten so much busier.
Everything is negotiable except _________.
Foreign Policy? You mean _________.
Freedom. Eagles. _________. AMERICA!
Hillary will never get it. I will tell you that right now.
How's my hair look? Like _________.
I always want to think of myself as _________.
I beat _________ all the time!
I cleared my email history because of _________.
I have never seen a thin person drinking _________.
I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, just like I love _________.
I judge people based on their _________ and _________.

I look very much forward to showing my _________, because it's huge.
I mean, really, who knows how much the Japs will pay for _________(s) these days?
I played golf with my friends and then I started to play with _________.
I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I'm more honest and my _________ is/are more
beautiful.
If Hillary Clinton can't satisfy her husband, what makes her think she can satisfy _________.
In 2020 Donald Trump will finally declare war on __________.
In an effort to fight poverty in America, Trump bans _________ for U.S. citizens.
My wife Melania will be a great First Lady. Her most important platform will be _________.
Oh no, _________! Trump's only weakness.
One thing I've learned about the press is that they're always hungry for _________, and the more sensational the better.
Ooops. I Did It Again.
Our great African-American President hasn't exactly had a positive impact on (the) _________ who are so happily and
openly destroying Baltimore.
Owning your own _________ gives you great power.
P.S. America. I have no great, big, huge _________.
Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a(n) _________.
The primary has been 0 days without (a) _________.
The US Citizens were shocked to discover that _________ was under Trump's hair all along.
The world is going to end when _________ falls on the earth and _________ will be everywhere.
These don't belong in government.
Trump and I wouldn't get along because of _________.
Trump bans _________ 6 months into his presidency.
What do Hillary Clinton and Rosie O'Donnell have in common?
What separates the winners from the losers is how a person reacts to _________.
Who is Trump suing next?
Why am I in jail?
Why did Donald Trump cross the border?
Why did Trump win the nomination?
WWIII started as a result of Trump's ________.
#BlackLivesMatter movement.
72 virgins.
A black man in a cowboy hat.
A bloody heap of Trump steaks.
A box full of razor blades and sleeping pills form your Secret Service.
A dyslexic KKK member who hates gingers.
A Funyun® cock ring.
A gay dentist referring to himself as the tooth fairy.
A good old-fashioned bitch slapping!
A hairpiece made from the souls of dead puppies.
A little boy from Queens.
A man of means by no means.
A plastic kiddie pool, a bottle of Ipecac, one crack whore and a crisp $20 bill.
A pudgy gay man with a combover.
A quick and painless sex change.
A racist bone.
A remarkably convincing argument for slavery.
A young and beautiful piece of ass.
Abortion survivor.
Adolph Hitler, great historian.
America's first orange President.
An old man streaking during a military appreciation baseball game.
Annoying cockney British accents.
Ariana Grande's licked donut.
Asians who want their fair share of white privilege.
Australian Ancestry.com results.
Being someone's prison wife.
Beliebers.
Bernie Sanders' dank meme stash.
Bernie Sanders' nursing home.
Bernie's Communist manifesto.
Bestiality Anonymous.
Beyonce's Superbowl performance.
Black Republicans.
Black students standing in the back.
Blow jobs and no jobs.
Blowjob vomit.
Bruce Jenner's balls.
Building designs that overcompensate for a micropenis.
Carly Fiorina's secret Cruz crush.
Celebrating the election with beer and white hoods.
Cheating at Cards Against Humanity™.
Chinese sweatshop operators.
Chris Christie's hostage face.
Colonel Sanders' stolen valor.
Corpse looting.
David Duke for VP.
Dead men selling wineries.
Death by a million paper cuts.

Decent human beings.
Diplomatic immunity.
Disabled reporters.
Donald Trump bobbleheads.
Donald Trump's deleted tweets.
Donald Trump's hand gestures.
Donald Trump's Ill-informed protestors.

Donald Trump's penis.
El Chapo's escape.
Electoral fraud.
Emaciated Ethiopians.
Eternal awesomeness.
Exploited veterans.
Faking car crash injuries to get money.
Female presidents.
Fifth Avenue shootouts.
Free Trump water and wine for all.
Freecreditreport.com
Fuckin' rich sugar daddies.
George W Bush's legacy.
Geriatric enema party!
Great fuckin' genes.
Guantanamo Bay summer home.
Having an orgy with a cardboard cutout of yourself.
Having drinks with Bill Cosby.
Having twins and giving one up for adoption.
Hillary and Bill's secret sex tapes.
Hillary Clinton's secret sexts to Obama.
Hillary Clinton's wig.
Hitler youth Easy-Bake Ovens™.
Homeless voters.
Horrible morning breath.
Important votes from Down Syndrome community.
Inevitable impeachment.
Inflexible Democratic assholes.
Islamic State death threats.
Jared's Footlong.
Jesus's death.
Jews for Jesus.
Jihad knock-knock jokes.
Kanye West running in 2020.
Killing a Jew in order to prove a point.
Kim Jong-un look-alikes.
Kim Jong-un's barber.
Kim Jong's relationship with Dennis Rodman.
Kim Kardashian's selfie book.
Kim Kardashian's yeast infections.
KKK book clubs.
Larger vaginal walls preventing pregnancy.
Legally changing your name to a symbol.
Little buses with special kids.
Locking the keys in your car outside an abortion clinic to ask to borrow a coat hanger.
Lording over your inferiors.
Luke Skywalker's missing hand.
Mail order brides.
Make-A-Wish® Christmas tree cards.
Mascot sexual charades.
Mensa poster child.
Mexican drug smugglers bringing crime.
Mexico's totally corrupt government.
Miley Cyrus with clothes on.
Miscellaneous countries that show no purpose to exist.
Money Money Money Money.
Monica Lewinsky, Trump's next running mate.
My next born son, Adolph.
Napoleonic penis complex.
New York society horseshit.
Nigerians on street corners.
Obamacare.
Orange is the New Black (Donald Trump replacing Obama).
Orgies with Trump cutouts.
Paypaling every voter $10 with a thank you note.
Peeing on thing's to claim them as your own.
Polish illegal immigrants.
Post-Trump Canadian against illegal US immigrants.
Prison rape.
Privatized prisons.
Racists for Trump.
Really exciting stuff that is really important and really amazing.
Reincarnation of Jesus.
Robin William's depression.
Rodney King.
Rule 34
Second-rate minorities.
Self-praising reality TV shows.
Sex with your clone.
Sexy nuns.
Sloppy seconds.
Sneaking into the back of the White House kitchen and microwaving a full diaper.
SNL impersonators that are more credible than Donald Trump.
Solving a Rubik's cube every time because you're color blind.
Special Olympics booing.
Stealing money from Make-A-Wish®.
Stubby-toed dwarves.
Stuffed ballot boxes.
Stupid French accents and the people attached to them.
Suing Hillary Clinton for being a woman.
Suspicious white powder.
Tampon taxes.
Ted Cruz's booger.
Ted Cruz's tightly clenched anus.
Thanksgiving coming out party.
Thanksgiving with Al Sharpton.
That oddly creepy guy at your work.
The 2016 presidential election.
The Apprentice.
The cabinet is where all the White House booze is stored.
The Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever.
The crushing of your enemies while seeing them driven before you while their women lament in foreign dialects.
The cutest ponytail that sways with a wiggle when she walks.
The day the world ends: November 8, 2016.
The end of the world.
The entire continent of Africa.
The Latino vote.
The liberal media machine.
The moon landing.
The person sitting to my right.
The pregnant monster known as my wife.
The start of US dictatorship.
The thing I'm hiding in my basement.
The ugly Olsen twin.
The Ultimate TRUMP Card. (with an illustration of a hand pointing out of the card)
The United States, a dumping ground for everyone else's problems.
The voices in my head.
The world's biggest publicity stunt ever.
The world's Largest brain never used.
This week's mass shooting.
Tom, I mean Ted, Cruz.
Trump Taj Mahal.
Trump's failed businesses.
Trump's future wives.
Trump's hair wearing a suicide vest.
Trump's online store for Presidential wear.
Trump's spray tanned asshole.
Unintentional homoeroticism.
Unrealistic expectations.
US exodus into Canada.
Vaccines that cause autism.
Vladimir Putin.
Vladimir Putin's left testicle.
Watching your child slowly die because you were too upper middle class to vaccinate them.
Waving a gun around in a bank.
What's his face?
Wheelchair death race.
White dreams - never black and white.
White Rosa Parks.
Working at Hawley Lane shoes and having a foot fetish.
Yelling "Jenga!" while watching footage from 9/11.

http://www.kidsagainstmaturity.com/
Before Pepsi, there was Coke. Before the game in black box, there was apples game. Now there is Kids Against Maturity!
The RC Cola of cards games. Do you have kids that are too old for the apples game, and too young for the other naughty
version? KAM fills your gap with age appropriate “toilet” humor for the whole family to enjoy. Fart jokes for the kids, and
innocuous "Shrek like" innuendos for the parents to discretely snicker at.
______ ______ go away. Come back another day.

______ gives Dad bad gas.
______ invented time travel.
______ is the secrt ingredient in Grandma's famous pies.
#1 topic discussed in your teacher's lounge _____.
A ______ in the hand is worth two in the bush.
After being crowned homecoming king or queen, your first dance is interrupted by ______.
All day I dream about ______.
All dogs go to ______.
All we are saying is give ______a chance.
At a parent teacher conference, your teacher confessed you have a serious problem focusing on ______.
At the end of the day, my underwear is so ______ in the front and ______ in the back.
Beauty and the ______.
Brussel sprouts taste like ______.
Cat in the ______.
Charlie and the chocolate ______.
Cloudy with a chance of ______.
Diary of a wimpy _____.
Do not ______ on my parade.
Does a bear ______ in the woods?
Dude, where's my ______?
During the family vacation I found a ______ washed up on the beach.
Eenie, meenie, miney, ______.
EEWWWW! There is ______ in my shoes.
Fast food restaurants have decided to add ______ to make kids meals healthier for kids.
Find a ______ and pick it up, and all the day you'll have good luck.
For Halloween I dressed as ______.
For my birthday ______ jumped out of my cake.
Grandma got run over by a ______.
Grandpa says "When I was your age we would ______ for fun".
Green eggs and ______.
Happy Birthday to ______.
Harry Potter™ and the Goblet of ______.
Help! My dog just ______.
Here is the church, here is the steeple. Flip it over and here are the _____.
Hey diddle diddle the ______ and the fiddle, the ______ jumped over the moon.
Hey everybody! I just won the ______ eating contest.
Hobbit's feet smell like ______.
How much ______ can a woodchuck chuck?
How much is that ______ in the window?
How the ______ stole Christmas.
Humpty Dumpty sat on ______.
I asked for ______ for Christmas.
I bumped my head so hard I woke up and thought I was ______!
I flushed my dead ______ down the toilet.
I found ______ in my cupcake.
I found ______ in Papa Smurf's beard.
I found a ______ in my bellybutton, and named it ______.
I got catfished by a _______ again!
I got stuck in time out for _______.
I just built a rocket ship out of ______.
I like to brush my teeth with ______.
I love you to the _____ and back.
I pledge allegiance to the ______.
I posted a picture of ______ and crashed the internet.
I sneezed so hard ______ came out my nose.
I spy with my little eye something _______.
I went to my parent's closet to look for Christmas presents only to find ______.
I will huff and puff and blow your ______ down.
I will huff and puff, and blow your ______ down!
If you rub a unicorn horn you will receive ______.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No it's ______!
Just a spoon full of ______ helps the medicine go down.
Kill two birds with one ______.
Knock, knock.
Whos there?
______.
Lady and the ______.
Last night I found ______ in my bed.
Let all play Paper, Scissors, ______.
Let's go to the movies and see ______.
Liar liar pants on ______.
Little Boy Blue go blow your ______.
Luke, I am your ______.
Mary had a little ______.
May I have your attention please! ______. That is all.
May the ______ be with you.
Milk milk lemonade, around the corner ______ is made.
Mom says I'mnot allowed to play with ______.
My brother his my markers in ______.
My Dad walks in my bedroom and says "It's time we talk about ______".
My favorite after school snack is ______.
My favorite after school subject is ______.
My favorite cartoon is ______.
My favorite drink is ______.
My favorite Pokemon™character is ______.
My favorite thing to read about is ______.
My Grandpa always says "You can't have _____ if you do not eat your ______".
My imaginary friend's name is ______.
My Mom ran over ______ with the mini van.
My Mom sent me to the grocery store to pick up ______.
My mom's cooking tastes like ______.
My Mom's farts smell like _______.
My parents always make me ______ before school.
My parents order chinese food for dinner, and I open the box only to find ______ in my food.
My teacher pulls me aside to propose that I switch to a school specifically for _______.
Never eat soggy ______.
Never take candy from ______.
No more ______ jumping on the bed.
On my summer vacation I went to ______ and I saw ______.
One ______, two ______, red ______, blue ______.
Peace, Love, ______.
Peter piper picked a peck of pickled ______.
Puff the Magic ______.
Sally sold sea shells down by the ______.
Say hello to my little ______!
School was canceled because of ______ again.
Silly rabbit ______ are for kids.
Snap crackle and ______.
Step on a crack and you will break your mother's back ______.
Stop drop and ______.
Sugar and spice and everything ______.
Teenage Mutant Ninja ______.
The amazing adventures of Captain Toad and ______.
The batmobile lost a _____ and the Joker got away!
The emperor's new ______.
The little ______ that could.
The moon is made of ______.
The President just declared ______ as a national treasure.
The toilet is clogged with ______.
The tooth fairy left a ______ under my pillow.
There is a place in France where the naked ladies dance. There is a hole in the wall where the men can see ______.
This is my favorite thing to bring to a party.
This looks like a job for ______.
This one time… at band camp… I saw my best friend ______.
To infinity and ______!
Trick or treat smell my ______.
Up your nose with a rubber _______.
Wait 30 minutes to swim after ______.
Watch me whip. Watch me ______.
We all live in a yellow ______.
We learned about ______ in school today.
We ran out of toilet paper, so I had to use ______.
What does the fox say? ______.
What is in Polly's pockets?
What's in Puss's boots?
Wheels on the bus go ______ and ______.
When I eat asparagus, my pee smells like ______.
When I grow up, I want to be a ______.
Where in the world is ______?
Which came first, the chicken or the ______?
Who ate my _____ again?
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ______!
Who you gonna call?
Whos afraid of the big bad ______.
Why do I feel so dizzy?
Why is the sky blue?
www.______.com
Yankee Doodle went to town riding on a ______ stuck a feather in his ______ and called it macaroni.
You ain't never had a ______ like me!
You are under arrest for ______, again!
#Hashtag
20,000 Leagues Under the Sea™
A dirty Q-Tip™
A fat sports analyst
a hole
A piñata full of baked beans
A Plunger
A sponge
A teaspoon full of toenail clippings
A three legged tiger chasing a gazelle
A turd burglar
A turkey baster
A unicorn farting rainbows
A years supply of turkey jerky
Achy breaky mullets
After concert morning voice
Alien probing
All hail the sofa king!
An entire day without using the internet
Atomic wedgies
Awesome sauce
Awkwardly getting caught sitting next to my sibling on the kiss cam
Back boobs
Backpack burrito
Bacon strips
Bag of pickled pigs feet
Baking an air muffin
Baking brownies
Banana hammock
Bangkok
Barking spiders
Bat wings
Bearded lady
Bees knees
Being poned
Big butts
Biscuits n' gravy
Blackbeard
Boobs
Boogers
Brain kernels in zombie poop
Brown clowns
Bubble Guppies™
Bung-O the clown
Burpees
Burping out candles
Butt bingo
Butt flood
Butt lovers pizza
Butt thermometer
Camel toenail
Camp Dickie-doo
Captain America's™ shield
Captain Obvious
Captain Underpants
Captain's Crunch
Captain's log
Care Bear stares
Cat litter
Cat Man Do
Cat puke between your toes
Chafed nippers
Cheesy poofs™
Chewbacaa's dingleberries
Chicken butt
Chicken thigh
Chili dogs
Chocolate bar floating in a pool
Chunky milk
Clifford the Big Red Dog's™ big brown log
Cooked pizza rolls with a frozen center
Cool beans
Crop dusting
Cute cat videos
Dad's hemorroid pad
Dad's special microwave dinner
Daddy's listening skills
Diarrhea cha cha cha
Dingle and the berries
Dingus
Dirt button
DJ Lance™
Dog farts
Dr. Doo Doo Brown
Drake and Young Jeezy sharing a milkshake
Duck lips
Dung beetle
Dust bunnies
Eating a firefly to make your teeth glow
Electric Avenue
Everything is awesome!
Fake lottery tickets
Fanny packs
Fart in a space suit
Fart in the car. Lock the windows. Turn on the heat. Enjoy.
Fart tennis
Fartknockers
Farts in a throw pillow
Fat guy in a little coat
Fat lady in yoga pants
Fat shaming
Feces pieces
Feeding baby bird style
Finger painting
Flaming bag of poop on my front porch
Free doodie
Frog farts
Fromunda cheese
Front farts
Front wedgies
Fruit boots
Fudgesicles
Full-on battle beast mode
Funkytown
Funny smell of grandma's house
Gallons of melted Velveeta™
Getting hit below the belt with a football
Getting ready to get ready
Gogurt burps
Grandma's jitterbug phone
Grouchland
Grumpy cats
Grumpy munchkins
Gum in the hair
Helping your grandparent get dressed
Hershey™ and the squirts
Hershey™ highway
Hillary Duff
Hollywood dreams
Honey badger
Hoof hearted
Hot Pockets™
Hulk smashed
Human beans
Humble brags
Hungry + Angry = Hangry
In a van down by the river
In your face
Inflatable dart boards
Itchy bum
Jar of egg farts
Jenga™ tower made of cheese sticks
John Cena
Justin Bieber
Katy Perry's new boyfriend
Kim Kardashian's booty
Kindergarten cops
Kittens in mittens
Knuckle sandwiches
Lady Gaga
Lazy Sunday
Lebron James' size 15 shoe
Like a bo$$
Luke Skywalkers™ robot hand
Magic Mushrooms
Mandatory family time
Manties
Master splinter
Mayor McCheeze's™ cheese tongue
Meatlofa! The world's first meatloaf sofa
Mexican mudslide
Miley Cyrus
Mom is pregnant again
Mom's purple wine teeth
Moobs
Moose knuckles
Mouth breathers
Mr Weird Beard
Mr. Froto's ring
Mr. Maigi
Mr. Poopeedoopee
Mr. Richard Johnson
My cat's starfish
My cellphone after landing in the toilet
My Dad's back hair
My dog's lipstick
My entire high school football team
Mystery egg wrapped in Play-Doh™
Mystery hair on my donut
Nahrwals
Neck beards
Nick Jonas™
Nicki Minaj
Ninja bread men
Oompa-Loompas™
Optimus Prime's™ exhaust pipe
Pee on the seat
Pee pee tee pee
Peeing in the shower
Peeing my name in the snow
Pepperfarts
Pickle juice
Pinch a loaf
Pink poodles eating oodles of noodles
Plump pageant moms
Poop emoji
Poop spelled backwards
Poops Mcgee
Puckered starfish
Pull my finger
Purple nurples
R2D2™
Rainbow Dash™ droppings
Rotten eggs
Rubber baby buggy bumpers
Sad pancakes
Sand in the cheeks
Santa's big fat sack
Sasquatch
Scooby snacks™
Sea biscuit
Secret crush announced on the school P.A.
Selfie fail
Selfie sticks
Sesame Street™
Shark sugar
Shart tank
Sharts
Shopkinz™
Sloth's Baby Ruth™
Smurf Village
Snapchatting in your sleep
Sneaky snakes
Spagooter
Spongebob's square poop
Squeeze cheese
Stranger danger
Sugar Bear™
Super Mario™ fart
Superman's™ skid marks
Taco Tuesday
Taylor Swift
Teacher crush
That dream where I am at school naked
That kid that never stopped eating paste
The babysitter's™ boyfriend
The bully that never wears deodorant
The day I got a wedgie and forgot to wipe properly
The Gooch
The janitor's vomit dust
The kid who pooped their pants on the bus
The kid who wipes boogers under the desk
The Ol'courtesy flush
The rabbit hole
Thor's hammer time
Those kooky people that live downstairs
Throbbing zit on picture day
Tighty whitie underpants
Tipped over Port-O-Potty
Toilet paper
Triple rainbow
Twinkle toes
Underoos™
Underwear
Upside down frowns
Uranus - The brown planet
Urethra Franklin
Used toilet paper
Using poison ivy to wipe your butt
Wacky tobacky
Walt Disney's secret vault
Wax lips
Wet farts
Wet wipes
Whoflungpoo
Wicked step sisters
Wiener dogs
Winnie's poo
Wolfman's nards
Woopy cushions
Yellow snow
Your mom
Kids Create Absurdity

http://www.kidscreateabsurdity.com/
Family Fun-Our card game was inspired by Cards Against Humanity and we felt there was a need for a clean family
version that the entire Family could play together or while the Adults play CAH the kids can play Kids Create Absurdity.
*RANDOM*
Hand this card to another player and have them: MAKE A LOUD FART NOISE
*RANDOM*
Hand this card to another player and have them: MAKE SILLY FACES FOR THIRTY SECONDS
*RANDOM*
Hand this card to another player and have them: SING A SONG
*RANDOM*
Hand this card to another player and have them: TELL A FUNNY STORY
*RANDOM*
Hand this card to another player and have them: TELL A JOKE
Did you hear about the new boy band? They are called _______ on the Block.
Eating ______ makes me stronger.
Eenie, meenie, miney, mo. Catch a tiger by ______.
Every time I sneeze, ______ comes out of my nose.
Follow the ______ brick road.
Frog legs don't taste like chicken, the taste like ______.
Go ______ in a bucket and smell it.
Got any ______? I'll trade you for it.
How did these ______ get broken?
I accidentally downloaded ______ onto my iPhone.
I always put bacon on my ______ for breakfast.
I am always embarrassed when I ______.
I am going to name my new dog _______.
I am going to try out for my schools ______ team.
I am going to wear a ______ to prom.
I am not allowed to use my computer unless I ______ first.
I am totally awesome at ______.
I can't believe I accidentally ______ in front of everyone at the school play.
I can't believe my teacher gave me ______ to do over school vacation.
I can't wait to go to Camp ______ this summer!
I dropped my cellphone in the ______ and now it won't work anymore.
I found a ______ in my school lunch, but I ate it anyway.
I hope I don't ______ on the roller coaster.
I jumped into the ocean and found ______.
I just got some ______ stuck in my braces.
I like spaghetti and ______.
I like to dip my french fries in ______ and eat them.
I like to fill my water ballons up with ______.
I like to take pictures of ______ on my phone.
I love my babysitter! She always brings us ______ when she comes over.
I love the beach and the feeling of ______ between my toes.
I love you to the ______ and back.
I think hot dogs taste like ______.
I took a selfie with ______ on the bus.
I use ______ as bait when I go fishing.
I was late to class and forgot my ______.
I was on a hayride and ______ jumped out and scared me.
I was sent to the principals office for ______.
I went fishing and caught ______.
I wished for ______ on my birthday last year
I'm rubber and you're glue. Whatever bounces off of me, sticks to ______.
I'm the only one of my friends without ______.
If Bigfoot came to your house, what would you feed him for dinner?
If I were a superhero, I would be Super ______.
If you forgot your lunch money, how would you pay for lunch?
In class today, we learned how to say ______ in Spanish.
Instant oatmeal. Just add ______.
Instead of turkey this year, my family is going to eat ______ for Thanksgiving.
It's raining cats and ______.
Kids Create Absurdity makes me want to ______.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Last night I dreamt about _______.
Look up at the sky and wish upon a _______.
My babysitter says I can't have a snack until I clean up all of my _______.
My best friends always pick their ______ in class.
My birthday party is going to be epic because ______ is coming.
My dentist always yells at me for not brushing my ______.
My dogs breath smells like ______.
My favorite book is about ______.
My friends and I like to play hide and go ______.
My imaginary friend likes to _______ when we hang out.
My school bus driver smells like ______.
My two favorite pizza toppings are olives and ______.
Rock, paper, scissors, ______!
Snug as a bug in a ______.
The back to school list had ______ on it.
The monkeys at the zoo always throw ______ at me when I walk by.
The new iPhone is called iPhone ______.
The new national holiday is called ______ Day.
The secret password is: ______.
The story of my life is ______.
There's a new ______ in town.
They opened up a Disney called ______.
They wrote an article about me in the paper because I grew the worlds longest ______.
This Halloween I am going to dress up as ______.
We go together like apples and ______.
We played baseball with ______.
What do you get when you mix a pig and a cow?
What is the one thing you don't want your parents to find in your backpack?
What perfume are you wearing?
What was that gross thing you found in your school lunch?
What would you do for one hundred dollars?
What would you give the president for a birthday gift?
What's for dinner?
What's that on your face?
When I am alone, I like to think about ______.
When I get home from school, my favorite TV show to watch is ______ and Friends.
When I go to college I am going to study ______.
When it snows I like to build ______.
When you're mad or feeling sad, just go ______.
Who do you think you are?
Who will be the next President?
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Why didn't you pass your homework in on time?
Why does my breath smell so bad?
A barf smoothie
A bowl of worm soup
A giant octopus
A giant pile of dirty socks
A giant turd
A grumpy unicorn
A half eaten candy bar
A haunted house
A lemur
A realy awful haircut
A snart (sneezing and farting at the same time)
A squirrel fight
A t-rex with really long arms
A talking scarecrow
A wet and muddy, smelly dog
A wet, dirty sponge
A whatchamacallit
Accidentally throwing the remote through the TV
Angry elves
Angry teenagers
Annoying laughter
Archery
Armpit fart noises
Awesome possum
Awesome sauce
Awful, loud music
Awkward moment
Baby pacifiers
Back hair
Bacon
Barfing at the dinner table
Barfing on an airplane
Basketball
Being goofy
Being told to "grow up"
Belly button lint
Blah blah blah
Blazing bonfires
Blood sucking vampires
Blubber
Boring babysitters
Bouncey house
Bouncey house
Brain farts
Broken sunglasses
Building a tree fort
Bumbling blabbermouths
Burping really loud
Butt crust
Cabbages
Cake
Cancelled play dates
Candy canes
Candy corn
Car sickness
Cartwheels
Catching your friend picking their nose
Chapped lips
Cheerleading
Chewed gum stuck undfer the table
Chicken carcass
Chicken nuggets
Chocolate cupcakes
Chunks of food in my teeth
Chunky chickens
Circus freaks
Cleaning up my room
Climbing Mount Everest
Clogging the toilet with a large poop
Cobwebs
Cockroaches
Coloring on the walls
Cooties
Couch potatoes
Cow udders
Cowabunga dudes
Crazy hair day
Crazy raccoons
Creaky stairs
Creepy crawlers
Crusty toothbrush
Cry baby
Cutting the cheese
Daddy long legs
Dance
Dancing like you just don't care
Dead cellphone batteries
Dead fish heads
Diaper rash
Diarrhea
Dirty fingernails
Dog slobber
Dogs
Doll heads
Dolphins
Donuts
Dragons
Dressing up for Halloween
Drinking soda
Dripping food all over your clean white t-shirt
Drooling all over your favorite pillow
Dropping the mic and walking away
Dull scissors
Earrings
Eating a dessert before dinner
Eating all of your vegetables
Eating lots and lots of sugar
Eating raw cookie dough
Eating worms
Elephant dung
Epic fail
Evil kittens
Exploding watermelons
Eye boogies
Fake tattoos
Falling and scraping your knee
Falling off the monkey bars
Fart face
Farting during a test
Farting in public
Fierce dinosaurs
Finding a bug in your food
Finding hair in your soup
Finding money between the couch cushions
Fingernail clippings
Finishing your homework two minutes before it is due
Flat tires on a brand new bike
Flip flops
Football
French fries
Fried eggs
Frozen bananas
Funky monkeys
Gargoyles
Getting a bloody nose that won't stop
Getting a prize in your cereal box
Getting a shot
Getting egged
Getting locked inside a museum
Getting sent to the principals office
Getting sent to your room
Getting struck by lightening
Getting stung by a bee
Giant rats
Giants
Glitter
Gnomes
Goblins
Goggles
Going to school everyday for the rest of your life
Going to summer camp
Goosebumps
Gummy worms
Hair stuck in the drain
Hair ties
Hairballs
Having a snowball fight
Having dinner with the president
Having to stay inside for recess
Hiding behind the furniture, waiting to jump out and scare someone
Hockey
Horror movies
Hours and hours of homework
Ice cream sundaes
Internet cat videos
Interrupting an adult while they are on an important phone call
Jumping on the bed
Karate
Kissing a hamster on the lips
Kissing crickets
Knotted hair
Lacrosse
Laughing hyenas
Laughing hysterically
Leaping lizards
Leggings
Leprechaun gold
Licking a frozen pole
Long, thick toenails
Losing a tooth without even realizing it
Mac & Cheese
Magical fairies
Makeup
Making fun of your teacher
Mean people
Mermaids
Mexican jumping beans
Minions
Moldy bread
Moldy cheese
Monkey brains
Monkey butt
Monsters under your bed
Moose droppings
Mosquitoes
Mud puddles
Mustard and ketchup
My brothers smelly underwear
My dogs smelly farts
Nincompoops
Non-stop giggling
Nose hair
Not covering your mouth when you sneeze
Not remembering your lines in the school play
Not taking a bath for two weeks
Nuns
Old people smell
Ooey, gooey, glue
Oompa Loompas
Peanut butter & jelly
Pee
Peeing your pants
Peeling scabby skin
Picking your nose in front of the whole school
Pigglewink
Pigs feet
Piles of chewed up chicken fingers
Pizza with anchovies
Platypus
Playgrounds
Playing bingo
Polka dot underwear
Poop
Pooping your pants
Poopy head
Popcorn kernals
Potatoes
Power outages
Pranking your teacher
Pretending to be a pirate
Pretending to be asleep
Pretending to be sick to stahy home from school
Prickly porcupines
Pulling out grandmas fake teeth
Putting on nail polish
Racing your friends
Rainy birthdays
Really bad breath
Repeating everything an adult says until they go crazy
Riding a donkey off into the sunset
Riding a unicorn over the rainbow
Rolling around in the mud
Rolling down a hill
Rotten eggs
Rubber bands
Running away from a herd of elephants
Running away with the circus
Sand stuck in your baithing suit
Sandy feet
Scaredy cat
Scary clowns
School lunches
Screaming at the top of your lungs in the library
Scrumpdidlyumptious farts
Selfies
Setting all of the zoo animals free
Sewer rats
Shoving everything into your closet when you're supposed to be cleaning your room
Silent but deadly farts
Silly string
Singing in the shower
Sitting in the back of the school bus
Skeletons
Skidmarks on my underwear
Skunk smell
Sledding down the hill
Sleep walking
Sleepovers
Slime
Slimy centipedes
Slithering snakes
Sloths
Smelling your own feet
Smelly farts
Smelly grandpa
Smelly seaweed
Smelly toe jam
Sneaking cookies into the cart while grocery shopping
Sneaking the dog food underneath the table
Snot rockets
Soccer
Sour lemons
Sour milk with chunks in it
Spending endless hours watching silly internet vidoes
Spicy chimichangas
Spiders crawling up your back
Spilling milk all over the counter
Spinning around in a revolving door
Splinters
Spooky ghosts
Spying on the neighbors
Squirming worms
Star gazing
Staying up until midnight
Stepping in a big pile of doggy doo
Stepping in gum
Sticky cotton candy
Sticky ear wax
Sticky maple syrup
Stinky armpits
Stinky flowers
Stubbing your toe in the middle of the night
Stuffed animals
Summer school
Swag
Sweaty feet
Swimming with dolphins
Talking back to an adult
Talking to myself
Tattletales
Teachers pet
Texting your best friend
The flu
The heebie jeebies
The ice cream man
The internet crashing
The Loch Ness Monster
The stench of a never cleaned litter box
The toy store
Throw up
Throwing up at school
Thunderstorms
Tickling your feet
Toasting marshmallows
Toilet paper stuck in my butt crack
Toilet water
Toy boxes filled with worms
Trampolines
Turkeys
Turtles
Vampire fangs
Volcanoes
Vultures
Wackadoodle
Walking on egg shells with bare feet
Walking the dog
Walrus
Warts
Wasabi peas
Wearing a disguise
Wedgies
Werewolves
Wet willies
Wet, runny boogers
Wet, soggy socks
Wi-fi
Winning a spelling bee
Yellow teeth
Zits
Zombie brains
Not Parent Approved

https://notparentapproved.com/
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on June 19, 2016 raising $14,075 with 183 backers. Released November 18, 2016.
The Kickstarter did not make it clear that the cards are smaller (2" x 3") than standard playing card size, but the Amazon
listing does. This set is not recommended for purchase due to the size discrepancy.
A family friendly version of CAH.
_________ gives me the chills.

_________ improves over time.
_________ is better than summer vacation.
_________ is my fave emoticon.
_________ is my secret favorite thing to do when no one is looking.
_________ is so awkward at a sleepover.
_________ is the secret to world peace.
_________ killed my pet goldfish.
_________ makes me have nightmares.
_________ would really make the world a better place.
_________-flavored ice cream.
_________. Never again!

A Martian just landed on our planet. After seeing you _________, he thinks that's the way to say, "Hello."
A school play starring _________.
After the school bell rings, _________ is the one thing I want to do.
Boys are so good at _________.
Boys remind me of _________.
Chocolate cake with _________ would be epic!
Dear Donald Trump, you are so great at _________.

Dear Substitute Teacher, could you please stop _________?
Dear Teacher, instead of giving us a math test, can we spend the time _________?
During a math test, I like to think about _________.
For the Science Fair, I made _________.
Grandma believes that _________ is the source of all goodness.
Hope my friends don't find _________ in the closet.
I am a master at _________.
I can't believe my camp counselor just admitted to _________.
I could easily become famous for _________.
I dare you to tell your Dad about _________.
I did not expect to see the popular kid spending most of the time _________ at the school dance.
I feel bad for people who can't stop _________.
I got my frenemy _________ for a Christmas present.
I liked what I got for my birthday, but I would've LOVED _________.
I never thought _________ would feel so good.
I never thought there would be a Social Studies chapter about _________.
I never want to take a bath after my brother. He leaves _________ in the tub.
I popped a zit and ________ came out.
I secretly love _________.
I spy with my little eye _________.
I thought she was cool until she showed me ________.
I was shocked when my crush gave me _________.
I would watch a four-hour movie about _________.
I'm so grateful for _________.

I'm starting a club for people who believe in _________.
If I could get rid of one thing from the world, it would be _________.
If I could make up my own subject at school, it would definitely be _________.

If I ever met Dracula, I would give him _________.
If it were up to my, my homework assignment would be _________.
If you could pick one thing to take to sleep-away camp, what would it be?
In my dream there were zombies _________.
In some families, _________ is a bad word!
Is that _________ stuck in your braces?
It's annoying that parents are so obsessed with _________.
It's finally summer! Time to start __________.
Last night I had a nightmare about _________.
Moms will never understand _________.
My allowance this week is going to _________.
My babysitter's worst fear is _________.
My BFF and I have a secret joke about _________.
My biggest source of embarrassment is _________.
My brother must be going through puberty, because he spends most of his time _________.
My Dad's worst habit is _________.
My favorite recipe for after-school snacks includes _________.
My favorite YouTube™ star is famous for _________.
My Grandpa burped and it smelled like _________.
My horoscope predicted _________ would happen!
My Mom read my diary and found out that I really like _________.
My New Year's resolution is to give up _________.
My next birthday piñata will be in the shape of _________.
My parents get really mad when they see me _________.
My school bag is filled with my lunch, my books, and _________.
My sister is most annoying when she is _________.
One day I'm going to write a book about _________.
One time after trick or treating, I found _________ in my bag.
School principals dream of _________.
Some day I'm going to get a job _________.

Songs about _________ are perfect for a rainy Saturday.
The awesomest party is never complete without _________.
The Best Day Ever includes _________.
The best Facebook® posts always have _________.
The best thing to watch on a big screen TV would be _________.

The cafeteria is serving _________ today.
The difference between winning and losing is _________.
The doctor asked my sister to say "Aaaaah," and ran screaming from the room when he saw _________.
The doctor looked up my borther's nose and found _________.
The incredible awesomeness of _________.
The next best superhero will have _________ as a special power.
The next popular TV show will feature _________.
The teacher bent over and saw _________.
The worst day ever always includes _________.
There'll be _________ at my frenemy's backyard BBQ.
This mean girl in my class always brags about _________.
We'll have _________ at my BFF's birthday party.
What trend should make a comeback?
When I close my eyes at the dentist's office, I see _________.
When I grow up, I want to spend my weekends _________.
When I'm feeling bad, _________ makes it all better.
Whoever invented _________ is a genius.
Will my Mom ever stop gossiping about _________?
You think my poop stinks? Yours smells like _________.
A bad hair day.

A bad report card.
A big, red wet-looking zit on your nose.
A broken Xbox®.
A cage filled with hairless guinea pigs.
A carpool full of kids with bad body odor.
A casual sprinkle of pee on the toilet seat.
A collection of haunted action figures that come to life at night.
A doctor with a gigantic needle.
A fear of hieghts when climbing a rock wall.
A head swarming with lice.
A hockey puck to the face.
A house of mirrors filled with creepy clowns.
A lap full of vomit.
A laser light show.
A leg cast in summer.
A mad, bad duck in a petting zoo.
A million Likes on Facebook®.
A misplaced backpack.
A missing hamster.
A mouth full of sea water.
A school solo with zero applause.
A soccer ball to the crotch.
A specially trained robot that tortures annoying family members.
A star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
A Star Wars® backpack with matching lunch box and undies.
A Superman™ cape.
A talking dog.
A week of nonstop cartoon marathons.
A whole lotta nothing.
Abduction by aliens.
Accidentally dropping an iPhone® in the toilet.
Allergies that cause your face to swell up like a balloon.
Always losing at Hangman.
An amateur fireworks show that ends badly.
An army of Barbie® dolls chasing you in the night.
An epic lack of artistic talent.
An epic tantrum full of swear words.
An itchy butt during a spelling bee.
Answering my parents with a grunt.
Apps that cost too much.
Arcade games.
Awkward family photos posted online.
Barack Obama.
Beat It by Michael Jackson.
Becoming a Kung Fu master.
Becoming a YouTube™ star.
Becoming famous.
Being a know-it-all.
Being angry all the time.
Being forced to take a nap.
Being forced to watch Food Network® all night with your parents.
Being ignored.
Being really unprepared for Picture Day.
Beyoncé.
Biting your toenails.
Boogers that slide down your throat when you sniff.
Boogie® Boards.
Book reports.
Bowling.
Break dancing.
Breaking out in hives.
Breaking out in song (loudly).
Bringing sword duels back.
Burping a whole sentence.
Burping ballerinas dancing in your dreams.
Butt acne.
Cankles.
Cartoon Network®.
Cat hair in my quesadilla.
Chocolate chip pancakes with happy faces in whipped cream.
Chuck E. Cheese's®.
Cleaning my room for the first time all year.
Climbing a tree.
Coaches in short shorts.
Cold, hard cash.
Copying homework.
Coughing up green phlegm.
Cranky, sleep-deprived school principals.
Craving popularity.
Crazy monster masks.
Crumbs from the dessert I snuck into my room last year.
Crushing on a lunch lady.
Crying until your eyes turn red and everyone notices.
Cupcakes that taste like dog biscuits.
Curse words.
Daydreaming.
Dirty, long fingernails.
Disney® TV stars.
Dissecting frogs.
Doing the "Wop, Wop, Gangnam Style" dance in public.
Doing the Funky Chicken Dance.
Dreaming I left the house without my underwear on.
Drool on a pillow.
Ear hair.
Eating boogers.
Eating Lucky Charms® daily.
Emoticons.
Endless car rides.
Endless roller coaster lines.
Epic explosions in inappropriate places.
Everyone finding out that your secret wish is to be a Viking.
Extremely tight gym shorts.
Facebook®.
Failing to get rid of bad karma
Faking a fever.
Faking good manners.
Family vacations.
Farting, moving away, and acting casual.
Farts that smell like your last meal.
Farts that stay in your pants.
Fashion models falling on their faces on the runway.
Fast food mystery meat.
Feeling too old for a bouncy house, but jumping anyway.
Finding a worm in your food.
Finding an ancient banana under the front seat.
Finding nasty stuff at the bottom of a borrowed sleeping bag.
Finding out your babysitter really is a vampire.
Finding six cavitites in one dentist visit.
Fingernails on a chalkboard.
Forgetting your parent's iTunes® password.
Friends who snore as loud as your Grandpa.
Funky armpits.
Gassy unicorns.
Getting a time-out at age 15.
Getting banned from screen time for three weeks.
Getting busted for passing notes in class.
Getting busted telling a lie.
Getting caught with your zipper open in front of your biggest crush.
Getting grounded until you're 25.
Getting laughing gas at the dentist's office.
Getting picked last for a sports team (again).
Getting stuck sitting next to THE MOST annoyingly chatty kid on the class field trip.
Getting tickled until you fart.
Getting your iPod® confiscated.
Giving Grandma rabbit ears in the family photo.
Giving yourself a haircut.
Going camping without bug spray.
Going on tour as a Guitar Hero® champ.
Google.
Grandma's not-so-great cooking.
Grandpa's bald spot.
Greasy hair.
Green smoothies that look and taste like diahrrea.
Growing a mole with one black hair on your chin.
Grownups.
Gymnastic leotards that slide up your butt.
Hacking my parent's password.
Hairy armpits.
Happily ever after endings.
Haunted houses.
Having only five minutes left of computer time.
Having your embarrassing moments posted on YouTube™.
Hawaii.
Horseback riding while wearing a tutu.
Hot Cheetos®.
Hot Girls.
Hot guys.
Hugging it out.
Hugs from parents on the schoolyard.
Hysterical laughter fueled by a massive sugar high.
Ice cream.
Inappropriate rap lyrics.
Infected private parts.
Inhaling helium ballons and singing, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star."
Itchy mosquito bites where the sun don't shine.
Japanese erasers.
Jerks.
Kids that eat glue after kindergarten.
Kissing the teacher's butt to get a better grade.
Laser Tag.
Laughing until you pee in your pants.
Lemon-yellow teeth.
Lights out (bedtime).
Littering.
Locking eyes with a nose picker at a stoplight.
Losing privileges.
Lots of zits.
Loving the smell of your own farts and thinking everyone else should too.
Maggots.
Magicians with boring tricks.
Making "bubbles" in the jacuzzi.
Making the world a better place.
Mean teachers.
Minivans with TVs.
Misplacing homework.
Moans coming from the attic.
Moldy Friday lunch found on Monday.
Morning eye boogers.
Mouth-breathers.
Multivitamin gummy bears.
My best friend's crush.
My evil dentist.
My Fairy Godmother.
My parents reading my texts.
My psycho math teacher.
Neat freaks.
Needing privacy.
Netflix®.
Never finding your stuff in the Lost and Found.
Never-ending bloody noses.
Not caring. At all.
Not knowing when to shut up.
Not making a single photo in the yearbook.
Not showering for three days.
Notes from your Mom pinned to your T-shirt.
Overly huggy aunts.
Peeing in an empty water bottle.
Peeing in bed after eating too much watermelon.
Piano teachers who spit when they talk.
Pigeon poop in your hair.
Playing Dunk the Principal.
Playing piano with your toes.
Playing the role of a tree in the school play.
Poor hygiene.
Pretending to like museums.
Puberty.
Public humiliation.
Puking on my teacher's shoes.
Putting a booger in your pocket.
Rainbow snowcones.
Raising money to cure diseases.
Regularly making very bad choices.
Riding a unicycle while juggling bananas.
Roach-infested sleep-away camp.
Roadkill.
Roasting marshmallows.
Running out of underwear at sleep-away camp.
Salami sandwiches.
Sand in your butt.
Santa Claus.
School suspension for a crime you didn't commit.
Scooping dog poop and realizing the bag is ripped after it's too late.
Secret admirers.
Secretly peeing in a pool.
Seeing dead people.
Shirley Temples.
Shopping with Mom.
Silent but deadly farts.
Siri®.
Sitting on a juice box.
Six-pack abs.
Sixty-two boxes of unsold Girl Scout Cookies®.
Skateboard road rash.
Sleepovers with my friend's bratty brother who won't leave us alone.
Slip 'n Slides®.
Slow-dancing with your sibling.
Smelly preschool bathrooms.
Sneaking tech time.
Snorting when you laugh.
Sparkly fairy wings.
Spewing vomit chunks.
Spiders creeping up my legs.
Spilling something that makes it look like you peed your pants.
Stepping on a random Lego®.
Sticky finger fungus.
Stinky toe cheese.
Sugar, sugar, sugar!
Super snoozy school assemblies.
Sweaty shin guards.
Sweaty socks.
Sweet dreams.
Sword fights gone wrong.
Tater Tots®.
Taylor Swift.
Teachers in holiday-themed sweaters.
Teachers who obviously hate kids.
Texting my best friend all day.
That friend who can't sing, but doesn't know it.
That kid who always smells like waffles.
The 3-second rule.
The birds and the bees.
The Boogie Man.
The class genius who doesn't shower for weeks.
The class pet I accidentally murdered.
The Easter Bunny.
The first day of school.
The Girl Scouts®.
The indentation on my butt after sitting on the toilet to take a huge dump.
The itchy, hand-knit sweater from Grandma your mom makes you wear every time she visits.
The non-existent private parts of a Ken® doll.
The outfit your mother made you wear on the first day of school.
The pimply pizza delivery guy.
The scent of sneakers after a week at summer camp.
The school mascot.
The science teacher's sweaty potbelly.
The secret satisfaction of scratching your butt and sniffing it.
The socks you wore five days in a row.
The spectacular feeling of farting until you just can't fart anymore!
The sweet sound of snot right before a cup of hot chocolate.
The Tooth Fairy.
The unmistakeable aroma of stinky underwear.
The weird kid down the block.
The word "balls."
The word "NO."
The world's longest list of chores.
The world's most epic wedgie.
Thinking Nationwide® is really on your side.
Thirty minutes of reading every night.
Thumb-wrestling wars.
Timed math drills.
Toenail trimmings on the table.
Torn pop-up books.
Trail mix.
Training bras.
Traveling into outer space.
Trying but hating yoga.
Trying on my Mom's high-heel shoes.
Trying to smell your belly button.
Turning 16.
Turning beet red from embarrassment.
Tweezing long nose hairs.
Unbuckling on the way to the bathroom.
Underwear skidmarks.
Unidentifiable cafeteria food.
Uranus.
Valentine's Day.
Vampire bunnies.
Vegas.
Waiting for summer.
Waking up feeling like a mucous membrane.
Warts grow in places you can't hide.
Wearing sunglasses all day.
Weird stares from my frenemy.
Whining until you get your way.
Whoopie Cushions.
Wiping out on a skateboard.
Wiping out on your bike and taking out a crowd.
Yellow snow.
Yesterday's oatmeal.
Yogurt that turned furry in the fridge.
Your bathing suit slipping too low at the water slide park.
Your coach's bad breath.
Your cousin's R-rated movie collection.
Your Dad's stinky feet.
Your Mom and her multiple personalities.
Your parents kissing.
Your secret crush.
YouTube™.
Ziplining.
Skewered And Roasted

http://www.amazon.com/Skewered-Roasted-Card-Adult-Party/dp/B01826OJNW
________ + ________ makes me extra horny.

________ helps me achieve inner peace.
________ keeps me awake at night.
________ makes for good foreplay!
________ makes my mouth water!
________ tends to run in my family.
________ turns me on!
A first date with me would include ________.
A fun outing with my dad always included ________.
A night of decadence must include ________.
A reality series based on my life would be titled ________.
A typical family dinner would be incomplete without ________.
After work, I like to spend time decompressing with ________.
All I want for Christmas is ________.
All of my friends agree. I would be so much better if it were not for ________.
As a kid, I spent my hard earned allowance on ________.
As president, I would include a policy on ________.
At work, I've managed to get this far with only ________.
Before I go to sleep, I always think about ________.
Can you tell me how to get, how to get to ________?
Everyday I dress up like ________.
Everyone agrees, my absolute best quality is ________.
Everyone knows that I'm trustworthy because I have ________.
For my Craigslist ad, I wrote that you must be ok with ________.
Good sex = ________ + ________.
I am a positive person and attract positive events to my life because
I value ________.
I am grateful for all my blessings especially ________.
I am loved and loving. I deserve to receive ________.
I am the master of ________.
I base my sense of self worth on ________.
I believe refugees have an innate human right to receive ________.
I can prepare ________ really well for ________.
I can't possibly live without ________.
I could never refuse ________.
I donated $500 to support ________ in Africa.
I have ________ under my covers
I have a secret altar worshipping ________.
I have been given a lifetime honorary membership to ________ club.
I have trouble succeeding without ________.
I just got fined for the improper use of ________.
I like ________ and I cannot lie.
I like long walks on the beach and ________.
I lost my virginity to ________.
I make all of my major life descisions based on ________.
I spent all summer working on ________.
I think that children are good for ________.
I want inner city children to all have ________.
I was a smart child. At 3, I already knew about ________.
I'm good at connecting with people because I have ________.
I’ve always dreamt of ________.
If I could study anything for a year, it would be ________.
If I get wasted, you can sober me up with ________.
In a threesome, I can always be counted on for ________.
In grade school, I excelled at ________.
In junior high, my favorite teacher taught me about ________.
In preschool, I made finger paintings of ________.
In terms of career development, I'm most focused on ________.
Instead of going out, I'm secretly posting reviews of ________.
It is my belief that ________ would improve racial relations worldwide.
Last holiday, I brought back ________.
Last night, I dreamt about ________.
Me + ________ = ________.
My current relationship is working, thanks to ________.
My earliest childhood memory is of ________.
My first love was ________.
My first sexual encounter involved ________.
My greatest asset is ________.
My greatest sexual fantasy involves ________.
My main goal in life is ________.
My million dollar idea combines ________ with ________.
My mom and dad told me about sex using ________ for illustration.
My mom said that ________ helps the medicine go down.
My mom stressed the importance of ________.
My most significant contribution to this group is ________.
My previous relationship didn't work out because of ________.
My relationship with my mother could be best described as ________.
My secret to good sex is ________.
Now that I'm more secure in my life, I take care of ________.
On a flight that's going down, I would hope to have ________.
On my deathbed, my last request will be ________.
One workplace idea I successfully implemented was ________.
People are always saying that I excel at ________.
Thankfully, illegal use of ________ was expunged from my juvy record.
The best moment of my life had ________ and ________.
The hardest part of my life was when I was dealing with ________.
The key to a successful marriage is ________.
The most awkward moment of my life featured ________ and ________.
The most important responsibility of my last position was ________.
The secret to my success at work is ________.
The self help book I just bought is going to help me deal with ________.
To establish credibility within a team, I often use ________.
To me, wedding mean a lifetime of ________.
To strengthen my relationship, I need ________.
When I put my best foot forward, I remind people of ________.
When I think about ________ I touch myself.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be ________.
When I'm feeling down, ________ always cheers me up.
When it comes to dealing with conflict, I often use ________.
When looking for a date, I always look for ________.
When you look deeply into my eyes, you see ________.
$200/hour
a $100 plaid shirt
a 12 year old
a 3 hour boner
a 40 year old virgin
a 6-pack
a backdoor slider
a backstabbing cockblocker
a bad boob job
a bag of coke
a bag of dicks
a bait and switch
a bank loan application
a barf bucket
a beer snob
a big bush
a big fat shit
a bitch slap
a blatant act of kindness
a bobble head
a boring fuck who should go away
a botched Botox injection
a braggart
a bromance
a brown noser
a butt enlargement injection
a butt plug
a buttery nipple
a buzzkill
a can of reddi-whip
a cat video addiction
a chubby chaser
a cinematic cumshot
a classroom boner
a clit piercing
a closet homosexual
a clueless fucking asshole
a complete fucking shitshow
a concealed weapon
a confessional
a cooler full of black market organs
a cradle robber
a creampie
a credit hog
a cunning linguist
a cunt-faced pussyshit
a devoted husband
a dick swinging contest
a dickhole widener
a dirty needle
a dirty Sanchez
a disclaimer
a Disney princess costume
a double chin
a double ended black gorilla dildo
a double team
a dress code violation
a drunk shithead
a drunken night in Bangkok.
a Dutch oven
a fake
a fart ninja
a fat Britney Spears
a fat fuck
a fat lesbian hack
a fearless leader
a female full frontal wedgie
a fist up my ass
a freeloader
a fresh White House intern
a freshly shorn scrotum
a freshly tossed salad
a Freudian nip slip
a fuck buddy
a fuckable boss
a fucking cat
a fucktard
a fudge packer
a full body wax
a gay man's scorn
a gentle anal probe
a gentle prostitute
a glory hole
a gold digger
a golden shower
a grammar Nazi
a grinning dwarf prostitute
a hairy yak penis
a hands free dildo
a happy ending
a heartfelt apology
a hidden boner
a hidden camera
a high-end brothel
a hippie commune
a hit and run
a hooker with a dick
a huge snout
a human rights violation
a hypocritical douchbag
a joystick
a label gun
a lack of motivation
a ladyboy
a live studio audience
a locker room
a loose-lipped cunt
a lost condom
a low IQ
a low sex drive
a lying, cheating scoundrel
a mail order bride
a major ethical dilemma
a man hole
a man who isn't afraid to talk about his feelings
a mask of normality
a misdialed booty call
a moist sensation
a moonlit drum circle
a muffin top
a naked hobo
a nose hair trimmer
a one hit wonder
a padded, soundproof room
a paranoid schizophrenic
a party pooper
a pearl necklace
a penis pump
a pierced penis
a pillow biter
a pity party
a plumber's crack
a police payoff.
a poseur
a pussy whipped sack of shit
a queef
a quick hit of heorin
a racist asshole
a raging bitch
a really cool preteen
a rear naked choke
a recreation of Anthony Weiner's Twitter pics
a redneck titty bar
a restraining order
a romantic candlelit enema
a sack of shit
a sanctimonious asshole
a scene from the Brady Bunch
a self-affirming mantra
a selfie stick
a sexual payoff
a sexually suggestive manner
a shart that I got away with
a shirt that hides my man boobs
a shit eating grin
a shit stain
a short bald man
a shower poop
a shrill, high-pitched voice.
a shutoff switch
a side boob shot
a single piece of shit
a skin tightening facial
a slutty outfit
a solid ROI (return on investment)
A spandex clad douchebag
a speculum (a medical tool for investigating body orifices)
a spoonful of jizz
a Stepford wife
a stray pube
a strict internal audit
a strip club
a super-sized barrel of fucks
a sweaty beer belly
a tacky fashion sense
a temper tantrum
a throbbing broner
a thumb up my butt
a Tiger Mom
a tight end
a timid wussy
a tiny weenie
a toilet-clogging shit
a top secret audio recording
a trailer park sensibility
a transsexual waitress
a tucked penis
a twat flash
a user manual
a variety of STDs
a Vulcan salute
a war zone
a warm, wet pussy
a wet t-shirt contest
a whiny bitch
a wire transfer
a zit-faced insecure teenage boy
acute depression
adult diapers
afternoon tea at the Ritz
amateur porn
an 8-ball
an account with Ashley Madison
an acid flashback
an adult play date
an advanced youtube degree
an anal bleaching kit
an anal cavity search
an anal orgasm
an anal training kit
an anti-bacterial, protective bubble
an armchair critic
an armpit serenade
an Asian office girl
an eager beaver
an elevated spiritual experience
an embittered, aspiring writer
an emotional meltdown
an emotionless fuck
an engorged penis
an epic fail
an exaggerated sense of self-importance
an extradition hearing
an extraneous body part
an idyllic, pastoral scene
an inability to accept criticism
an inbred hillbilly
an incessant need to be killed
an inflated resume
an interest in locker rooms
an ironic t-shirt
an Olympic gym routine
an orgy
an oversized clit
an undefined chin
an unemployed teletubby
an unnecessary fuck
anal beads
anarchy
Bacardi Breezers
bacon, bacon and more bacon
barriers to entry
beans and weenies
binge drinking
bitches and blow
blackmail
blatant homophobia
blue balls
boobies
bouncing titties
buyer's remorse
Catholic guilt
Catholic school girls
celibacy
child abuse
Chinese water torture
choir boys
ChristianSingles.com
cleavage
Co-dependency
complimentary fruit flavored condoms
consensual sex
constant complaining
constant failure
counterfeit goods
couples therapy
cream of some young guy
cunninglus
deceptive advertising
defrauding suckers
delayed gratification
depraved sex
desperate ploys for attention
dingleberries
double penetration double anal
dried up ovaries
drugs
drunken debauchery
dry humping
emasculation
embezzled funds
erectile dysfunction
erotic imagery
excuses, excuses, excuses
expressing all of my emotions through emojis!
extra ridgey cucumbers
factory slaves
fake moaning
fake plans
fake tits
fecal incontinence
Filipino cockfighting
fishing for compliments
flagellation
foul language
free love
gaydar
genetic selection
getting butt hurt
going solo
gratuitous nudity
grooming children
hemorroidal abcesses
herbal laxatives
heroin
high functioning alcoholism
Hillary Clinton's favorite nipple clamps
hooking
hormone replacement therapy
hot dog, hot dog, hot diggity dog
huffing gasoline
humping pandas
hymen replacement surgery
illegal touching
illicit sex
indentured servitude
inherent gayness
inner city children
ironic life choices
irritable bowel syndrome
ISIS groupies
jack shit
jedi powers
just watching
leopard printed handcuffs
likes to my facebook post
lip injections
lip syncing
liposuction
liquid fecal excrement
living vicariously through others
Lola, my blowup sexdoll
low hanging fruit
low self-esteem
lube
Lululemon see-through yoga pants
male tears
man boobs
manscaping
martyrdom
Mary Poppin's LSD induced cooperation
mass casualties
maximum effort, minimal gain
mildly satisfactory compensation
MILFs
Miss Cleo's psychic friends network
mom and dad having sex
Mommy Dearest
mommy time
monetizing our assets
multiple personality disorder
my badass tattoos
my bedazzler
my best friend's asshole
my book of spells
my butthole rash
my cake decorating kit
my chakra
my child-like sense of wonder
my constant bitching
my creepy uncle
my dad's jar of petroleum jelly
my daddy's help
my feminine side
my flat chest
my funniest t-shirt
my gay side
my hole
my indiscretion
my karaoke singing voice
my lifelong butt buddy
my Pikachu costume
my predictability
my rainbow family
my robe and wizard hat
my sad life tweets
my shrinking sense of self-worth
my skank ass sister
my sloth-like reflexes
my strapon, Mr. Bendy
my twins
my vagina
my vintage trucker hat collection
night cream
no underwear upskirt shot
Octomom
oral skills
over the top sound effects
Over-explaining things
Over-promising and under-delivering
overly involved parents
patchouli incense
Peewee Herman's playhouse
penile implants
people pleaser syndrome
plagiarizing
poopy pants
prairie dogging
premature balding
premature ejaculation
preteen awkwardness
public masturbation
quaaludes
racist jokes
raging narcissism
really bad BO
Redtube.com
revenge porn
rimming the hole
road rage
roofies
Rose-colored glasses
RussianBrides.com
safe family sex
saggy boobs
sanitary protection
selective hearing
self mastery
sex
sex councelling
sexting
sexual propositioning
sexual slavery
shameless self-promotion
sleeping around
sleeping in my own piss
sloppy seconds
sodomy
soul sucking boringness
special sauce
spicy diarrhea
spiritual enlightenment
statutory rape
straight As
stretch marks
suicidal tendencies
sweaty gym selfies
sweet, sweet incest
Taco Tuesdays
terrible spelling
Thai or Chinese?
that thing I like to do with the couch pillows
The 5 second rule
the benefits of inbreeding
the big butt shaft
the bling I put on it
the cheapest strongest alcohol available
the complete collection of Disney movies
the dollar menu
the Elder Wand
the funniest tap handle
the greatest drunken texts ever
The Hair Plug Club
the Holy Bible
the International Porn Downloading Headquarters
the keys to an S&M dungeon
the Magic Bullet
the morning after pill
the mythical female orgasm
the Stockholm Syndrome
the things I like to stick up my butt
the tree I saved
the very definition of passive-aggressiveness
the voices in my head
thousand year old eggs
titty tassels for tots
tonight's buttsex
too cute! Videos
toxic gas emissions
turning tricks
underage drinking
uninhibited self expression
useless charity work
useless shit
violating parole
voyeurism
waking up in a pool of vomit
Well-times bouts of amnesia
whoring
years of much needed psychotherapy
That's What She Said Game

https://thatswhatshesaidgame.com/
We all say it. Now lets play it. that’s what she said, the hilarious party game of twisted innuendos and raucous gameplay
where sidesplitting laughter and sip-spitting cocktails is the norm. you may, in fact, wet your pants.
NOTE: Cards appear here as they are on the cards. Any errors are theirs.
after a long day at work, I arrived home, took off my bra, and cried ______
after my grandma passed gas, she learned over to my grandpa and said ______
after telling me she was pregnant, I told my wife ______
at Thanksgiving, I hugged my father-in-law and whispered ______
at the Christmas party, my drunk boss stumbled over and creepily whispered ______
at the end of the night, my prom date anxiously blurted out ______
at the urinal, the guy next to me looked down and said ______
before pulling the covers over her head, my girlfriend said ______
dad came home, chugged a beer and loudly announced to my mom ______
Donald Trump is changing the name of Air Force One to ______
during communion, the priest gestured to the altar boy and said ______
entering Neverland Ranch, Michael Jackson whipered ______
everyone at the wedding gasped when the best man said to the bride ______
I broke up with my girlfriend when she came home with a tramp stamp that said ______
I decided not to join the gym when their personal trainer told me ______
I felt a little unsure when the flight attendant told me ______
I got scared when the officer tapped on my window and said ______
I hope you don't mind me saying, but ______
I knew my relationship was doomed when I found a note on the mirror that read ______
I overheard the sweaty repairman say to my wife ______
I took it as a sign when my fortune cookie said ______
I was at my girlfriend's house "studying" when her mom interrupted and disturbingly said ______
I was surprised when I heard the shepherd say to his sheep ______
I went in for a loan and the banker told me ______
I would definitely give a homeless person some money if their sign said ______
if I had to guess, my last words will probably be ______
in a public restroom, someone in the stall next to you grunts ______
in downward dog, my yoga instructor walked up behind me and said ______
in the cave, Batman turned to Robin and said ______
in the delivery room the doctor examined ______
Kanye West grabbed the mic from the award winner and shouted ______
Miss Piggy ended things with Kermit when he told her ______
my babysitter tucked me in last night, then leaned in close and whispered ______
my favorite XXX film is called ______
my friend Dave was bent over in the locker room and I thought ______
my last Tinder date stormed out after my roommate said ______
my new YouTube channel is called ______
my P.E. teacher invented a new game called ______
my uncle Harry woke me up in the middle of the night and whispered ______
odd things to say while taking a spanking ______
on our wedding night, my wife said to me ______
one time while gently petting my dog, I thought to myself ______
scariest things to hear in jail ______
the chunky child jumped on Santa's lap and said ______
the new tagline for Viagra ____
the team was confused when the Quarterback tried to motivate his players by chanting ______
the title to Taylor Swift's new hit breakup song ______
the worst pickup line I've ever heard in a bar was ______
things said during a prostate exam ______
things you regret texting your ex after midnight ______
things you should never say to your mom _____
this is a top secret mission… it's called Operation: ______
to get into my motel room, knock twice and say ______
when I got home to my kid ran up to me and said "Daddy, ______
when I was being frisked, the TSA agent remarked ______
when the elevator got stuck, the CEO turned to the intern and said ______
while getting a brazillian, I cringed when the lady said to me ______
while vacationing in Thailand, I picked up the phrase ______
a girl's gotta eat

after 18 holes I can barely walk
aim for the center!
all you can eat for $10!
anything more than 10 inches and we've got a problem
are those rug burns on your knees?
are you allergic to nuts?
are you envious because mine is bigger than yours?
are you going to keep pulling my hair?
are you going to let me finish?
are you going to talk the entire time?
are you open for business?
are you packing heat?
are you ready for a marathon?
at least this one is unique
be sure to wipe that off your chin
bear down and get ready for insertion!
behold! perfection
bend over and grab your ankles!
bottoms up!
can I open up to you?
can I pluck your harp?
can I push your stool in?
can I put this in your trunk?
can I touch it?
can we do this standing up?
can we go somewhere private?
can we just be friends?
can you go any deeper?
can you keep a secret?
can you make a deposit?
can you pump up my dinghy?
careful, this one drools
chocolate rain
cock-a-doodle-dooo!
come out, come out, whereever you are!
deep down I bet you're a real softie
did you bring a friend?
did you know it's Freaky Friday?
did you start without me?
do it for science!
do me next
do you have any ice?
do you have some rope?
do you need help getting off?
do you want a banana smoothie?
do you want the top or the bottom?
do you want to fluff my Garfield?
do you want to know the secret to a good night's sleep?
do you want to share a sausage pizza?
does it always squirt that far?
does the carpet match the drapes?
doesn't that hurt?
don't act like you've never done this before
don't be afraid, get in there!
don't forget the nooks and crannies
don't forget to clean the sheets
don't go anywhere, I'm not done yet
don't go soft on me now!
don't judge me, but I'd do this for free
don't let it get in your eye
don't shoot me in the face!
don't worry, my doctor says it's completely normal
duck, it's about to spray everywhere!
dude looks like a lady
everything tastes better with hot sauce
everything's for sale
excuse me while I whip this out
fake it till you make it
finish yourself off
fire in the hole!
focus on the bits at the top
forgive me Father, for I have sinned
give it a good yank
give it a little nibble
good news, I brought a roll of duct tape
got milk?
have you ever dressed up as a maid?
have you ever had Five Guys?
have you ever tried docking?
have you heard of the Battle of the Bulge?
have you seen the trick where I make a pickle disappear?
here, taste this
here… have a sniff
hit me baby one more time
how are the twins?
how did you get to be so flexible?
how do you like your eggs in the morning?
how long do you think you can last?
how many licks does it take to get to the center?
how much fluid do you have left?
how much longer 'til you find it?
I bet you're pretty good with a harmonica
I bruise like a peach
I can fill that crack!
I can't feel my legs!
I caught you ball watching
I could use a handyman
I dare you to kiss my kitty
I didn't expect it to look like that
I didn't know what a "jiffy lube" was unitl yesterday
I enjoy my meat tender with a warm pink center
I got a coupon for a free footlong!
I got you right where I want you
I hate getting wet when I do this
I hate what I've become
I have a pretty strong gag reflex
I have room for one more
I have this thing with animals
I have to come up for some air
I hear this is good for your skin
I heard you coming
I hope you like fish!
I like a salted rim
I like it rough
I like my buns soft and warm
I like persian rugs
I like the cut of your jib
I like the smell of a fresh mowed lawn
I like the tassels on your curtains
I like them real thick and juicy
I like to dip my berries in chocolate sauce
I like to do this every night before bed
I like to show off my girls
I like to watch
I love a little tease
I love salty nuts
I love to drive stick!
I love trying new things!
I must have blacked out
I need to get my protein in somehow
I need to take a picture of this
I present you the crown jewels
I promise, two seconds and I'm done!
I put my finger over the wrong hole
I see mangos are in season
I see you have all the bells and whistles
I should probably start shaving
I think that's enough for now
I think we're doing this backwards
I want to beat off all my demons
I want to ride the Big Dipper!
I want to taste your signature crust
I wish someone showed me this in high school
I'd like a teabag please
I'd like to propose my stimulus package
I'll be back after I've had a few in me
I'll be shirts and you be skins
I'll give it a good wipe after
I'll have a brownie
I'll make you an offer you can't refuse!
I'll take it black and strong
I'll try your if you try mine
I'm about to give you a tongue lashing
I'm an addict
I'm an organ donor
I'm bleeding… profusely
I'm cramping!
I'm craving sometihing spicy
I'm easy to please
I'm feeling a bit vulnerable
I'm feeling wobbly
I'm getting a burning sensation
I'm going in head first
I'm going to break out my "selfie stick"
I'm going to give you a good spanking!
I'm going to ride this as hard as I can
I'm going to try this with one hand behind my back
I'm having a stroke
I'm hungry like a wolf
I'm just blowin' tonight
I'm looking forward to Bangkok
I'm only going to show you this once
I'm quite the snake charmer
I'm so anal
I'm trying to find the hot spot
I'm waiting for my "Mr. Big"
I've been studying Uranus
I've got a collar and some Beggin' Strips
I've got a pretty good hand
I've got the munchies
I've kept something inside that has to come out
I've never tried doing three in a row
I've never used this entrance before
I've seen things I can't unsee
if it fits, I sits
if there's grass on the field, play ball!
if you don't take a bite, Santa won't come
is it strange if it's shaped like a pop can?
is it supposed to be purple?
is it supposed to itch this bad?
is there a specific position that interests you?
is this good for chapped lips?
it doesn't look like it did in the photo
it feels good when I stroke it
it flutters when you blow on it
it gets better everytime I look at it
it smells like pennies!
it tastes better when you have two in your mouth
it'll look big in your hands
it's a lot smaller than I expected
it's a weird shape but I like it
It's all in the wrist
it's as dry as sandpaper!
it's deep, it's dark, and scary
it's easier if you use both hands
it's hammer time!
it's hard to work the shaft when the hole is this tight
it's just like riding a bike
it's kind of sensitive back there
it's more beautiful than I ever imagined
it's not too late to change your mind
it's on the tip of my tongue
it's really heavy for something so little
it's showtime!
it's so much bigger up close
it's still wet from this morning
it's time for show and tell
it's time for your performace review
it's time to feed my bunny
it's too slippery, I can't get a good grip
it's warm and ready to go
it's your turn on the slip-and-slide
just beat it
just breathe
just jam it in there
just say the word and I'll give you a hand
keep your balls out of the gutter
last night was a lot of fun
leave the package at the back door
lefty loosey, righty tighty
let me paint your face
let me show you how the pros do it
let me show you the little man behind the curtain
let me strap this on first
let your instincts take over
let's bang this out so I can leave
let's burn some rubber
let's call this a learning experience
let's do it face to face
let's get it on!
let's get naked!
let's get tricky with the ol' reach around
let's get weird
let's go motorboating
let's keep it in the family
let's pin the tail on the donkey
let's play hide-and-seek
let's put a smile on that face
let's put that little budgie in a cage
let's try that with a little less scratch and a little more purr
lick it and let me know how it tastes
liquor in the front, poker in the rear
looks like a full moon
looks like the butterfly is coming out of her cocoon
luckily these pants have an elastic waist
maintain eye contact at all times
mazeltov!
meet me in the bathroom
melon balls and ham, I love the holidays
meow…
my cheeks hurt
my left hand is better than my right
my mouth is watering
my poodle is panting
my precious…
my sister is the best at this
my toes are curling
my turn!
Netflix and chill?
no one can see us together
no pain, no gain
no peeking!
nobody likes a soggy bottom
now that's a mouthful!
oh no… it's getting bigger
once you pay for it, you can play with it
one in the hand is worth two in the bush
ooh that smells
open up! here comes the choo-choo train!
open wide!
pay before you pump
please assume the downward dog
put your lips together and blow
put your pants on
quick and easy, just the ways I like it
release the Kraken!!!
rub it for good luck
satisfaction guaranteed!
say 'hello' to my little friend
shake it a little and squeeze the tip
silent night, holy night
sixty nine?
size doesn't matter
some things are worth waiting for
someone needs a bath
something that big has got to be uncomfortable
sorry, I'm a little rusty
start sucking!
stick your tongue out and say "ahhh"
strap in, it's about to get bumpy!
take it to the rim
thank you for coming
that definitely won't fit
that made my breath stink
that thing is a choking hazard!
that's a cute little beaver
that's a juicy patty
that's a really smooth landing strip
that's a tongue twister
that's a tough one to swallow
that's going to leave a mark
that's quite the turtle-neck
the first hole is a practice hole
the first time is never easy
the force is strong with this one
the hard ones hurt my teeth
the harder, the better
the second coming is imminent
the smell is so strong you can taste it
the wetter, the better
there she blows!
there's a hair on your pie
there's fruit on the bottom
there's not enough sauce on those meatballs
these balls are blue
this furry little bastard smells like s#%t!
this is going to be awkward tomorrow
this is going to go viral
this is how we populate our planet
this is my circus and that's my monkey
this is really making my butt sore!
this is the way my mom likes to do it
this isn't legal in some states
this kitty's got claws
this might leave a stain
this reminds me of great times I had with my father
this seems a little creamy to me
this technique requires you to use two fingers
this will put hair on your chest
those are some big suction cups
those flaps are dangling really low
touch me like you do, t-t-touch me like you do
two heads are better than one
wait till you see my magic wand
wait, I said hand me your clock
want some company?
we can do this the easy way… or the hard way
we got a bleeder!
we're going to need plenty of towels
well it doesn't get much tighter than that
what I put in my mouth is my business!
what is it with you and mayonnaise?
when was the last time you went clamming?
where can I find wood around here?
where is your other hand?
where's the paddle?
why don't you go down, I'll come in a minute
wide load coming through! Everybody move!
would it be wrong to say you smell terrific?
would you do this if you were sober?
would you like a bite of my jelly donut?
would you like a happy meal?
would you like an oral exam?
would you like to lick the spoon?
would you like your muffin buttered?
you are making this harder than it has to be
you be the pitcher, I'll be the catcher
you call yourself a man?
you came just in time!
you can pet her, she's friendly
you can't put a price on a good time
you can't start the day on an empty stomach
you can't tell anyone about this
you clearly play the clarinet and not the saxophone
you completely missed the hole!
you deserve a bigger tip
you just gotta sweat it out
you just made daddy proud
you know I love a good cream pie
you may feel a small prick
you might regret this in the morning
you need to put a leash on that thing
you really gotta whack it
you should be a little sore afterwards
you should eat more pineapple
you should trim your hedge more often
you stained the carpet
you want a sip of my Monster?
you were a disgrace last night
you'd look good in a pearl necklace
you're beautiful on eht inside
you're dripping all over the place
you're going the wrong way on a one-way street
you're too short for this ride!
you're warm, I like that
you've been a bad boy
you've got good ball control
your brother rubs me the wrong way
your mustache tickles
Trumped UpCards: The World's Biggest Deck*

https://www.amazon.com/Trumped-Up-Cards-People-Hands/dp/B01NC33FK7/
550 cards printed on premium linen card stock, in China, by our amazing allies who are helping us with the North Korea
problem. Tremendously relevant party game for at least the next four years. Trump Cards give players bigly powers to
change gameplay in unpresidented ways. Beautifully footnoted with real facts, quotes, and stats from the dishonest and
disgusting news media Comes in a spectacular golder-than-average box.
EDITOR NOTES: Many of the cards in this set contain footnotes that do not affect game play that explain the basis for the
phrase on the cards. Those footnotes are presented in the Footnote column for those that wish to have them.
This set also has "mechanic" cards which the game calls "Trump Cards". Instructions for these cards are presented in the
Footnote column. Also, there are four of each of the "Trump Cards", so each card is listed individually to account for the
number of cards in set (in other words, the duplication is intentional).
Last, the game introduces an alternative way to end the game. The Prompt Cards have a letter on the back of the card in
the lower left hand corner. If players can collect enough prompt cards to spell "VOTE", they win the game. However, if
another player is able to "VETO", the game continues. Those letters are presented in the Letter column for those that wish
to have them.
______: Weak and ineffective.
According to Trump, he's "strongly into God and religion." But only sort of into ______.
According to Trump, the government can take away your home, but not your guns or ______.
After President Trump gets done beheading top-bracket tax rates? Say goodbye to ______.
After the NYSE delisted Trump Hotels in 2004, you could buy 1000 shares with ______.
After Trump repeals every word of ObamaCare, he's replacing it with a luxury golf course and ______.
Along with his "very good brain," who or what else will make up Trump's Cabinet?
Along with sticks, weeds, and discarded panties, what will you find at Donald J. Trump State Park?
As a businessman, Trump is best known for ______.

As America's First Son, Donald Jr. will be in charge of ______.
As President, Trump promises to take Iran's oil, return Mexico's Mexicans, and ______.
As President, Trump will create a new holiday that celebrates ______.
As the self-described "king of debt," Trump ruled over a magnificent empire of failed casinos and ______.
As the self-proclaimed "greatest jobs president that God ever createed," Trump will ritually sacrifice Federal Reserve Chair
Janet Yellen on an altar carved from ______.
As Third Lady of the United States, Melania Trump will be an outspoken advocate for ______.
At Mar-a-Lago, Trump imports foreign dishwashers because he can't find American workers with ______.
At military school in the 1960s, Trump won medals for neatness and ______.
At Trump Chicago, room service will bring you a "Trump Supreme" pizza where every square inch is topped with ______.
At Trump University Nursing College, aspiring caregivers learn all about ______.
Failed startup GoTrump.com was supposed to help people get better deals on ______.
From now on for visiting dignitaries, it's Big Macs, not lavish state dinners, with a side order of ______.
Global warming? In Trump's opinion, it's just a concept by _____ to "make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive."
How does Trump plan to restore "a sense of dignity to the White House"?
How will Trump help America start winning against Mother Nature again?
I hug them. I hold them. They are all over the place. Here, Trump is talking about ______.
If Donald ever did date his daughter, Ivanka, how would they spend their first date?
If Trump were God, what would Heaven's border wall be made out of?
In 1973, Trump sued the government to protect his right to not rent apartements to ______.
In 2007, Trump started selling premium boxed meat. Customers said it tasted like ______.
In the last year, CNN has aired thousands of Trump stories. But not once has it mentioned his ______.
In the late 1990s, Trump tried to court his "dream lady," Lady Diana, by bombarding her with ______.
In Trump's opinion, free speech is warranted only in cases of ______.
In Trump's opinion, the NFL should have more head-on-head collisions and ______.
Like donkeys, Trump only sleeps for three hours a night. When he does, he dreams of ______.
On a 2012 hunting trip in Africa, what did Trump's sons feed to hungry villagers?
On Thanksgiving, President Trump will only pardon turkeys with U.S. citizenship. All other turkeys, including anchor
chicks, will be deported to ______.
Our current nuclear arsenal is old and disgusting! Under President Trump, we'll have young, firm, beautiful warheads
equipped with ______.
Sadly, the Statue of Liberty is no longer a 10. She really needs ______.
Step 1: ______.
Step 2: ______.
Step 3: Caucus!
Step 1: Fit all your ideas onto a baseball cap.

Step 2: _______.
The Pentagon? That's a very low-energy building. Our fabulous new Department of Ass-Kicking is going to have ______.
The Presidental line of succession under Trump: Gary Busey. Omarosa. ______.
The Trump Gitmo revamp? Fantastic waterboarding grotto, beautiful cultural humiliation lounge, and ______.
Those "thousands and thousands" of U.S. Muslims Trump says he saw celebrating 9/11? Turns out it was just ______.
Tired of bland, tasteless premium vodkas? Then try Trump Raspberry Vodka. It reeks of ______.
To fix America's crumbling infrastructure, President Trump will personally fill every pothole in America with _______.
True or false? Trump's wives are subject to term limits and ______.
Trump and ______: Best Frenemies Forever!
Trump deported Univision anchor Jorge Ramos from a 2015 press conference for asking about ______.
Trump graduated from the Wharton School in 1968 with a B.S. degree in ______.
Trump Natural Spring Water, served at Trump hotels, restaurants, and golf clubs, is "tested continually to confirm its
purity." Just like ______.
Trump reminds Jerry Falwell, Jr. of Jesus. Probably because of his great love for ______.
Trump says he's done more "for equality" than anyone. By "equality," he means ______ for all.
Trump says his net worth is based on market performance, his "own feelings," and ______.
Trump's American dream? Closed borders, open iPhones, womb control, and ______.
Trump's cologne, Success by Trump, is a masculine combination of rich vetiver, tonka bean, and ______.
Trump's concealed carry permit allows him to legally weaponize himself with guns, Trump cologne, and ______.
Trump's cure for income inequality? ______.
Trump's favorite book: The Bible. The subject of his favorite Biblical verse: ______.
Trump's first pick to replace Justice Scalia?
Ivanka.
His second: ______.
Trump's foundation gave $1000 to a Scientology-linked program that helps detoxify 9/11 rescue workers via "jogging, oil
ingestion, sauna and ______."
Trump's hair-like stuff is perimeter-hardened to withstand offshore wind farms - but not ______.
Under President Trump, "good" undocumented immigrants can attain legal status through ______.
Under President Trump, all missiles will be activated with a simple "You're fired!" command. Hasta la vista, ______!
Under President Trump, the bounty for capturing undocumented immigrants will be ______.
Under President Trump, TSA guidelines would prohibit _______ on airplanes.
Waterboarding is foreplay. The real torture starts when Trump whips out ______.
Waterboarding? Too easy! When Trump's in charge, we'll smother POWs with towels soaked in ______.
What else should we ban until our representatives can figure out what is going on?
What is Donald Trump's Twitter password?
What is the heart and soul of the Republican party?
What is the real reason Trump is running for president?
What makes the talking Donald Trump doll so eerily realistic?
What makes Trump so appealing to female Apprentice contestants?
What will Trump use to knock the hell out of ISIS?
What, according to Trump, made him unfit for military service?

What's in the penthouse suite at Trump Tower?
What's the biggest threat facing America?
What's the fastest way to make America gret again?
What's Trump's favorite way to unwind after declaring corporate bankruptcy?
What's Trump's plan to win the Latino vote?
When Fred Trump died in 1999, he left Donald more than $60 million, plus ______.
When you "graduate" from Trump University, you get ______ instead of a diploma.
While building Trump Tower, 200 undocumented Polish immigrants were paid $5 an hour to destroy ______.
While Trump admits he was "not a fan of the Vietnam War," he's absolutely crazy about ______.
While Trump once described himself as "very pro-choice," he now thinks abortion is warranted only in cases of incest,
rape, and ______.
Why does Gitmo get better TripAdvisor ratings than Trump Hotel Panama?
Why is the Statue of Liberty crying?
Yes, actors were hired to clap at Trump's campaign announcement. Their payment: ______.
You're damn right Mexico's going to pay for a wall. With ______.
100 beachfront acres of shimmering white privilege.
100 percent Chinese ties.
100 tons of Mafia concrete.
50 bullets dipped in pig's blood.
93-year-old virgin voters.

a 24 percent equity stake in reality.
A 45 percent tariff on free speech.
A batshit racist butler.

A beautifully enlarged prostate.
A bronze-tinted silver spoon.
A cease-and-desist letter from Trump's lawyers.
A copy of Bedside Hitler.
A D-Minus rating from the Better Business Bureau.

A dainty pistol.
A de-extincted wooly mammoth that looks like Justice Scalia.
A dog whistle even 80-year-olds can hear.
A fired up and aggressive Bobby Knight.

A great person Trump knows, who is great at something.
A great relationship with the blacks.
A great relationship with the poorly educated.
A hot tub filled with hand santizer.
A lawsuit over the size of Trump's flagpole.
A loud, angry bald eagle.

A luxury eight-bedroom bathroom.
A machine gun that fires a thousand rounds of freedom per minute.
A mahogany Squatty Potty.
A means-tested tramp stamp program.
A miniature therapy horse with the kindly eyes of Sean Hannity.
A new TV show called "So You Think You Can Mass Deport?"
A penis pump, for fingers.
A pet pony trimmed in mink.
A pile of chopped-off Christian heads.
A pink marble football on a bronze tee.
A pre-emptive nuclear strike of justice.
A Purple Heart transplant.

A romantic evening of shrewdly negotiated love-making.
A small mound of racist bones that have been surgically removed from Trump's body.
A smaller-than-average putter.
A so-so relationship with the GOP donor class.
A solid gold golf course.
A solid platinum trophy wife with diamond-encrusted accents.
A stubby finger on the nuclear trigger.
A sunburnt Oompa Loompa.
A talking Donald Trump doll.
A tasteful goatskin putting green.
A telenovela called "Ugly Donald."
A temporary ban on free and open elections.

A temporary ban on heavy accents.
A temporary ban on undocumented mosquitos.
A Tesla that runs on Eric Trump's hair trimmings.
A tiny, deformed micro-heart.
A total and complete shutdown of Ford Fiestas entering the U.S.
A Toyota Corolla with a "Bring Our Jobs Back" Trumper sticker.
A tremendously well-hung bank account.
A Trump Collection accent sconce powered by the low-energy charisma of Jeb Bush.
A Trump Ice enema.

A vibrant 19th century economy.
A wad of bills from the TRUMP board game.
A wax statue of John Wayne.
A worn copy of The Art of the Deal.

Adding crown moldings to the $100 bill.
Adding more pain to the death penalty.
Adding some beautiful golf courses to that dump, Yosemite.

Adult coloring books.
Airdropping copies of "Think Big and Kick Ass" on Syrian orphans.
Alpha male flatulence.
America's wounded trade warriors.
An 80-minute slide show about Trump Tower.
An angry herd of Palins.
An architecturally spectacular line of bed linens.
An autographed photo of Antonio Sabato, Jr.
An explosive threesome.
An honorary doctorate from Trump University.

An unsecured personal line of bullshit.
Astonishingly excellent blood pressure.

Attack tweets.
Average-looking immigrants.
Baby Hitler's micropenis.
Back-alley Planned Parenthood donations.
Bad dudes.
Bank-ordered audits.
Barack Obama's birth certificate.
Benching Ruth Bader Ginsburg.

Big beautiful man-hands.
Big swinging dictators.
Bipartisan plagiarism.
Blond offspring.
Body mud infucions.
Bombing the shit out of the 1st Amendment.

Bragging that Melania's chest is firmer than Bill's.
Brain sharting on Twitter.
Brass balls.
Bronze-leafed despair.
Business-casual breast-pumping.
Business-related favors from Nancy Pelosi.
Buying the naming rights to Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
Can-do knockers.
Care Bear stares.
Carpet-tweeting Nutty ISIS.
Caviar-infused cleansing balm.
Challenging London's mayor to a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors.

Changing the lyrics of the National Anthem to Trump, Trump, Trump."
Cheatin' China.
Cheeto Jesus.
Chris Christie doing the twist.
Chris Christie piñatas.
Classing up the West Wing shitter.
Closing up the Internet.
Coke Million.
Cold-pressed nectar of Trump.
Comforting the comfortable.
Compulsively clean coal.
Convincing Congress to officially declare war on crying babies.
Copping a feel from Old Glory.

Court-ordered winning.
Crippling status anxiety.
Crying babies.
Curbing White House gas emissions.
David Duke.
Day 293 of the Trump presidency.
Devout Muslim Mike Tyson.
Diet Duke.
Different-sex marriage.
Early childhood deportation.
Eating KFC like an alien.
Economically castrating China.

Edible panties.
Egghead economists.
Eliminating America's casino deserts.
Emotionally naked selfies.
Encouraging poor people to smile more.

Ending second homelessness.
Endorsements from Putin, North Korea, Hezbollah, and Kid Rock.

Enhancing America's crumbling golf course infrastructure with stainless steel fairways.
Erection fraud.
Exaggerated income tax credits.
Exposing Hillary's secret Kenyan citizenship.
Facial profiling.
Faith-driven pizza.
Fat-shaming Miss Universe.
Faving Speaker Ryan.

Female Viagra.
Fiercely defending all twelve articles of the Constitution.

Firing any word that is not among the best.
Firing ice caps that can't take the heat.
First 5 volumizing.
Flipping Guam to a Saudi prince.
Flipping the bird.
Floor-to-ceiling scrotum.
Flying Muslims.
Forcibly displaced homeowners.
Forcing terrorists' families to read the complete written works of Trump.

Fouding ISIS.
Fracking the shit out of Canada's techinically recvoerable oil reserves.
Free introductory seminars at Trump University Community College.
Freedom shoves.
Freshly severed elephant tail.

Frisking all immigrants who are at least an 8.
Full-frontal self-funding.
Gary Busey's weird $3 teeth whitening trick.
Gay cupcakes.
Gender-neutral bathrooms.
Generously discounted Trumploaf.

Getting caucus-blocked by Ted Cruz.
Getting sued by your own lawyers.

Gitmo's new guest worker program.
Glamping with Muammar Gaddafi.

Goofball atheists.
Granny Hitler.
Groupon eue exam deals.
Guy Fieri's atomic donkey sauce.
Hair cancer.
Hand-picked assholes from Trump University.
Hatin' Pope Francis.

Hearting Donald Trump, Jr.'s tweets.
Helping extreme bigots and moderate bigots find common ground.
Helping Santa Claus win again.

High-quality gout.
Hihg-energy infidelity.
Hillary Clinton's missing email server.
Hiring investigators to find ISIS's missing articles of incorporation.

Hiring Ivanka to life-coach Alaska, Mississippi, and other loser states.
His-and-hers-and-hers sinks.
Hooking up with Chris Christie.
Hostile combovers.
Howard Stern.
Il Douche.
Imaginary amigos.
Immigrant Oreos.
Impeaching "The View."
Imported nannies.
Incurable Ben Carson.
IRS Form 1040.
Ivana's old dresses.
Japanese cat islands.
Japanese sex robots.
Jeb's retired exclamation point.
Job-destroying polar bears.

Joe the Plumber.
Judging while "Mexican."

K Street lobbyists.
Keeping American jobs safe for exploitable guest workers.
Launching a ground war on Foxconn.

Leather toilet seats.
Leathery, tissue-thin skin.
Leightweight chockers.
Lifting all yachts equally.
Lightly-regulated law and order.
Literally catering to elites.

Little Marco's baby-soft philtrum.
Locally raised scapegoats.
Long-term ass restructuring.
Low self-esteem.
Low-energy Muslims.
Low-hanging chads.
Low-information generals.
Magical answers to hard problems, repeated over and over.
Mail-order meat.
Make America Great Again sombreros.
Making a fortune on Yellowstone's pure, sweet, beautiful oil!
Making America sweat again.
Making measles great again.
Making peace with Megyn Kelly's wherever.

ManiPediCare.
Masculine cosmetics.
Mass loyalty oaths.
Massively overpriced online courses.
McDonald's Fish Delight.

Medicare marijuana.
Meteorogically correct losers.

Missing-in-action veterans' donations.
Mitt Romney, on his knees, praying to his dark lord Trump.

Mitt Romney's temple garments.
Money-losing casinos.
Moral bankruptcy.
Mutually assured deductions.
Naming names.
Nation-billing.
Native American gambling.
Negging NATO.
Negotiating a great new trade agreement with Russia's spies.

Netflix and chill.
Never-ending salt scrubs.
New York society horseshit.

Normalizing pageant relations with Suadi Arabia.
Not immediately disavowing Scott Baio.

Officially renaming America "Great America."
Open pit toilets.
Opening up our treason laws.
Orange urine.
Our European frenemies.
Pardoning Trump University.
Passing on the Dallas Cowboys to buy the New Jersey Generals.
Passing the No Baby Left Inside Act.

Permanent vajazzling.
Personal real estate coaches.
Peter Thiel.
Pivoting to more presidential fear-mongering.
Pizza Rat.
Pre-waterboarding for disabled terrorists.
Predictive tweezing.
Premature foreclosure.
Presidential man-boobs.
Progressive redistribution of Trump's DNA.
Promoting Bristol Palin to Statue of Liberty.
Promoting the 2nd Amendment to the 1st Amendment.
Protecting crticial coal miner's habitat.
Public shaming.
Puerto Rico.
Punishing men for carelessly knocking up women.

Purging the Dixie Chicks nefore they become a problem again.
Raising the minimum inheritance.

Raising the minimum rage.
Really, really rich breath.
Reclaiming millions of amazing low-skilled jobs for America.
Rectal feeding.
Refocusing federal aid programs on proven interventions, like charity golf.
Refusing to let glaciers out-negotiate us any longer.

Religious tolerance.
Renaming Canada "United States, Jr."
Replacing Common Core with The Best Core.
Replacing the Senate with a Twitter poll.
Replacing the U.N. with WrestleMania.
Resting Rich Face.
Results-driven facials.
Retweeting unflattering photos of ISIS' wives.
Rigged elections.
Ripped-up trade agreements.
Rudy Giuliani in drag.
Russia, the Misunderstood Empire.
Russian hackers.
Sacrifical interns.
Sea Whip Extract.

Sean Penn arm-wrestling El Chapo.
Second-hand racism.
Secret FEMA schlonging camps.

Secretary of "Dad, I can't even…", Ivanka Trump.
See-through mosques.
Self-driving tanks.
Seltzer-boarding.
Senator Lindsey Graham's chubby little cheeks.
Shaking hands with pig farmers.
Sheriff Joe Arpaio.

Shimmering Strongman bronzing powder.
Shitloads of pizazz.
Shrinkage.
Sidepiece exemptions.
Simon Cowell.
Simulated Swedish heritage.

Single-hater tax credits.
Single-payer ammo.
So-called droughts and hurricanes.
Socialized spray-tanning.
Sociopathic shit-talking.
Some unpronounceable Arab word.
Standing tough against Heidi Cruz.
Star-spangled flag hags.
Starting a trade war with Mexico.
Statesman-like dick jokes.
Sticking it to the underdog.
Strong and decisive loan defaults.

Strong misleadership skills.
Strongmansplaining.
Subprime real-estate instruction.
Suburban heroin addicts.
Sucker-punching an unruly chihuahua.
Suing the Constitution.
Suspected journalists.
Swing racists.
Syria's tired, poor, carefully profiled masses.
Taking a wait-and-see attitude on Honest Abe.

Tamper-proof ID cards.
Tanning beds that double as homeless shelters.
Taunting disabled people.
Ted Cruz dressed in indigenous Canadian garb.

Temporary detention for anyone who correctly pronounces Oaxaca.
Testing Miss Syria's no-fly-zone.
Tetweeting Mussolini.
That semi-obscene Trump Pence logo.
That thing in Ted Cruz's mouth.

The air rights over Sarah Palin's towering ineptitude.
The ALS Ice Bucket Challenge.
The best humblebrags.

The best words. (And a below-average spell-checker.)
The bottom five Commandments.
The Condom of Honor.

The daughter Trump only wants to be friends with.
The fact-based community.
The failing New York Times.
The Greatest Wall.

The inconvenient sand-trap of facts.
The infidels at Politco.com.
The invisible hand of Corey Lewandowski.
The looming threat of Canadian potatoes.
The Pre-Nup of Allegiance.
The Second Amendment People.

The sneeze-guard at Chipotle's.
The social fabric of America.
The upside of Saddam Hussein.
The Very Long and Beautiful Trump Monument.

The Who Klux Klan.
The world's first border roof.
The zombie apocalypse.
Therapeutic face-freezing.
Thick tufts of oddly combed back hair.
Third-generation millionaires complaining about a "rigged system."

Thoroughly fact-checked hair.
Tom Brady's under-inflated balls.

Topless horse rides with Vladimir Putin.
Totalitainment.
Tough hate.
Trash-tweeting Gold Star families.
Tremendous monogamist Mike Pence.

Trickle-down xenophobia.
Troops on the ground.
Trump Network Snazzle Puffs.

Trump University Montessori School.
Trump Vodka Libertinis.

Trump-flavored Doritos.
Trump-scented body scrub.
Trump's imaginary wingman, John Miller.
Trump's very good Jewish friend, Jesus.
Trumpty Dumpty.
Turning water into water with a label on it.
Tweet-to-tweet combat with Senator Elizabeth Warren.
Twenty starving beauty queens.
Uber, but for deporting 11 million illegal immigrants.
Unaffiliated theocrats.
Under-budget and ahead-of-schedule witch-hunts.
Undernourished eyelashes.
Undisclosed donors.
Undocumented taco bowls.

Unfilitered stupidity.
Unfriending the EU.
UNICEF losers.
Unreleased tax returns.
Upholding the sanctityt of third marriage.
Uppity Mormons.
Urging the Axis Powers to re-militarize.

USA, USA, USA.
Useful Anti-Semites.
Valet deportation.
Vanilla ISIS.
Velour Wet Wipes.
Venting at windmills.
Vladimir Pootin' Lavatory Mist.
Waste, fraud, and abuse.

Waterboarding Ted Cruz with Marco Rubio's sweat.
Weapons of tax destruction.
Weapons-grade chemical peels.
Weekly pep talks from Dr. Phil.
Well-behaved anchor babies.

White fright.
White House Chief of Ass.
White-glove water-boarding.
White-haired grannies chanting "Lock Her Up!"
Working-class fury.
World-class constipation.
Declare White Card Bankruptcy!
Deport an opponent's answer!

Eliminate liberal bias!
Go off script!
Go off script!
Go off script!
Go off script!
Impose a 45 percent tariff!

Invoke eminent domain!
Play the woman card!

Reframe the narrative!
So sue me!
So sue me!
So sue me!
So sue me!
Tilt the playing field!
WTF Did You Say?!?

http://wtfdidyousay.com/
______ is a relationship deal-breaker for me.

______ is the best thing since ______.
______ makes a questionable gift for your parents.
______ melts in your mouth, not in your hand.
______ Plesurable. But Dangerous.
______. Now 100% Gluten Free!
A celebrity can get away with ______ but when I do it it's a federal offense.
A dozen red roses - $20, Limo service for the night - $800, ______ - Priceless.
After a week long binge of booze, drugs and hookers I woke up with a tattoo of _______!
And for my next magic trick, I will pull ______ out of a hat!
And that's the last time I buy ______ off Craigslist®.
Ask your doctor if ______ is right for you. Side affects may include: ______.
Be sure to pack ______ carefully when camping, it attracts bears.
CAUTION: ______ can be hazardous to your health.
Children these days don't appreciate ______.
Don't talk to me before I've had my morning ______.
Dora the Explorer® found herself in over her head when she discovered ______.
Everynight before bed I always ______.
Everyone I know is talking about ______ but I'm pretty sure it's bullshit.
Florida man tragically dies when ______.
God created ______ as a means of population control.
I always keep ______ in my trunk.
I claimed ______ as a deduction on my taxes last year.
I find your lack of ______ disturbing.
I got my degree in ______ from ______.
I have a secret weakness for ______.
I have an agreement with my significant other, if we meet ______, I am allowed to have sex with them with no
consequences.
I have an irrational fear of ______.
I hope the TSA doesn't find ______ in my luggage.
I just can't stop watching ______ videos on the internet.
I liked ______ before it was cool.
I once paid $100 for ______.
I saw ______ on the interenet today. It turned me on a little.
I use ______ to assert my dominance in uncomfortable social situations.
I waited in line for 8 hour when they released the new ______.
I wish someone would make ______ flavored ice cream.
I'd do anything for love but I won't do ______.
I'd rather find my child ______ than playing Pokemon GO®.
I'd sell my body for ______.
I'm definitely going to hell for ______.
I'm seeking legal representation after being arrested for ______.
I'm worried the NSA will find ______ in my computer search history.
I've used ______ as an excuse to get out of sex.
If ______ was more popular, I would get laid all the time.
If ______ were a sport I would be a star athlete.
If I die tomorrow, I will miss ______ the most.
If I saw Justin Beiber in the streets I would ______.
If I were a superhero my super power would be ______.
If I won the lottery the first thing I would buy is _______.
If it weren't for modern medicine I would have died of ______ a long time ago.
If the walls in Michael Jackson's bedroom could talk, they would tell stories of ______.
If you don't stop ______, I'll turn this car around!
In a fight to the death against ______ I would use ______.
In my will I'm leaving my children ______.
Inappropriate names for video games.
Is ______ the illegitimate love child of Seth Rogen and James Franco?
Isn't it about time we legalized ______.
Jesus turned water into wine. I can turn potato salad into ______.
Last night I had a weird sex dream about ______.
Legend has it upon catching a leprechaun you receive ______.
LIFE PRO TIP: Try ______ instead of ______.
Mommy says she's drinking coffee, but I know it's really ______.
My addiction to ______ is starting to negatively affect my life.
My favorite hip hop song is about cars, money and ______.
My highschool nickname was ______.
My house was destroyed in a freak accident by ______.
My job description is basically ______.
My significant other loves it when I try ______.
My significant other named their genitals ______.
Our son was sent home from school today for drawing a picture of ______ in art class.
Sometimes I fantasize about ______.
Straight Outta _______.
Success is 10% inspiration and 90% ______.
Surprisingly, ______ can be seen from space.
Thank to the internet I was able to _______.
The best revenge is ______.
The little known 11th commandment is "thou shalt not ______".
The only thing my father got in the divorce was ______.
The producers of ______ bring you a heartwarming story about ______.
The secret ingredient in my casserole surprise is ______.
The smell of _______ reminds me of Christmas.
The title of my obituary will read "______."
The World Health Organization has issued a warning about ______.
There's nothing more romantic than ________.
This Thanksgiving I'm going to start a dinner conversation about ______.
To last longer in bed I think about ______.
We came home from church to find my dad ______.
We need more ______ and fewer ______.
Wearing a fedora is a sure sign someone is ______.
What do we want? ______. When do we want it? NOW!
What is Daddy doing with the maid?
What is in your closet that you do not talk about?
What's in the box?
When fixing my parents' computer I found a folder full of ______.
When I arrive to my hotel room I expect ______ left on the pillows.
When I was in school all the 'cool kids' were into ______.
When I was younger I thought ______ actually meant ______.
When talking to a Police Officer be sure to ______.
When vacationing in North Korea I was detained by state police for ______.
You can use ______ as a flotation device in the event of an emergency.
…then the penis is inserted into the vagina.

#BlackLivesMatter rally.
∩ (O_O) ∩
$300 worth of vanilla yogurt.
100% accurate gaydar.
70's porn complete with a hairy bush.
72 virgins and 1 mission.
9/11 was an inside job.
A 15 minute blowjob… No more, no less.
A 300 horsepower, turbo charged vibrator.
A BBW woman wearing the Confederate Flag as a dress.
A blind kid throwing hand grenades.
A bowl of candy.
A care bear riding a dildo shaped rocket over a rainbow.
A country song.
A documentary about the sex lives of blue butt monkeys.
A dog.
A dramatic reading of a social media comments fight.
A family of raccoons hell bent on destruction.
A firm grip and soft hands.
A firmly pressed pair of whitey tighties for formal occasions.
A flaccid penis limper than wet cabbage.
A fresh shave.
A fudge packing chocolatier.
A giant meteor to collide with Earth.
A giant penis.
A group hug in a nudist colony.
A Klondike Bar®.
A lifetime supply of Cheerios®.
A Lightsaber® shaped dildo.
A male nipple I thought was a female nipple.
A mariachi band covering Metallica.
A might with Bill Cosby… so good you can't remember.
A militant group of Girl Scouts®.
A mixture of wine and prescription pain killers.
A new pair of shoes.
A personally engraved crack spoon.
A pimp slap from your uncle.
A political debate moderated by Elmo®.
A rainbow lightsaber.
A rim job and a snowcone.
A row of penises down your back like a stegasouras.
A serious mental disability.
A sexually frustrated stuffed animal.
A small child's eery laughter.
A small country house with enough land to bury the evidence.
A sober Irishman.
A speedo, a small dick, and a hairy chest.
A sriracha filled doughnut.
A successful black man.
A Tea Party Orgy hosted by Sarah Palin.
A Tinder® date who makes conversation by asking about your show size.
A vascectomy my wife doesn't know about.
A woman telling a man how to do it correctly.
Absolutely fucking nothing.
Accidentally sexting your parents.
Accidentally walking into a locker room full of horny WNBA® players.
Aggressive slam poetry.
Akwardly finishing your story.
Alcohol.
An AR-15 under the pillow and a grenade launcher behind the toilet.
An emotional break down in front of your co-workers.
An erotic dream, an ice cream truck, and a nickel.
An erotic drink order.
An honest politician.
An ounce of class and a pound of assholery.
An overly aggressive Canadian.
An STD and a child support settlement.
Anal.
Any Adam Sandler Movie after 2005.
Appearing to work hard while not actually doing anything.
Arizona State University®.
Asking for her age and she tells you she's only 16.
Assuring women's rights are never equal to men's.
Back hair so thick a pigeon made a nest in it.
Back to back MVP, Stephen Curry.
Balls deep in the local priest.
Barging in like the Kool-Aid® man.
Basic bitches.
Bear mace as taco seasoning.
Beastiality.
Being a white female.
Being an emotional whore while being a real whore.
Being black in the United States.
Being blamed for things I didn't do.
Being eskimo brothers with your father-in-law.
Being more inbred than a turkey sandwich.
Bending her over her mom's reading chair.
Better late than never.
Bitching about nothing.
Black hair, black nails, black clothes and pretending my mother doesn't love me.
Blind hairdressers.
Blowing out your birthday candles with a queef.
Booty.
Breakfast.
Breaking into a house to steal a cute puppy.
Bringing chip dip to the party.
Brock Turner "helping" a passed out girl at the party.
Bruises I can't explain.
Bullshitting my ass off.
Burning the house down to kill a spider.
Buy low, sell high.
Buying a hooker for your friend's birthday but deciding to take her home yourself.
Buying drugs from the chemistry teacher.
C-cups. On a man.
Calf implants on an infant.
Calling off the wedding because the best man got caught fucking the groom.
Cargo pants.
Carrying all the groceries from the car in one load.
Catch all this shit rolling down hill.
Certified pre-owned underwear.
Chapstick®.
Charlie Sheen.
Childrens toys rescued from Chernobyl.
Chocolate covered wasabi peas.
Chris Brown's Fight Night.
Christmas decorations on November 1st.
Chronic erectile dysfunction.
Clearing your search history.
Cleveland, Ohio! Where the rules are made up and the points don't matter.
CNN's 24 hour news coverage of the end of the world.
Co-ed locker room showers.
Cocaine infused K-Cups®.
Cock rings and free bank lollipops.
Coming home with dirty hooker stench.
Communion waffers.
Complicated math equations.
Confused construction workers.
Conquer the world, feed the hungry and finally put an end to Oxford commas.
Constipation with so much pressure the poop turns to diamonds.
Consuming an edible before work.
Continuing to party despite a potentially serious injury.
Cornhole 101: just drop it in the hole.
Covering your ears and screaming.
Crack baby basketball.
Cropdusting a group of quadriplegics.
Crystal Meth.
Cum dumpster.
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders®.
David Cameron's penis in a pig's mouth.
Daycare services at the workplace.
Dead legs from sitting on the toilet for too long.
Dead puppies.
Deciphering a web captcha.
Deep colon cleaning.
Denying sex to play video games.
Dial-up internet.
Dickbutt.
Dickforce.
Disciplining your roomba in front of your dogs.
Discount liquor stores.
Divorce lawyer's contact information.
Donkey punch.
Dr. Zoidberg.
Drug fueled orgies.
Drunk texting your ex.
Duck hunt with Oscar Pistorius.
Dutch oven my significant other.
Eating ice cream with a fork.
Eating junk food but not gaining weight.
Eating peanut butter from the jar with a spoon.
Eating warm yellow snow.
Eight consecutive days of vacation.
Embarrassing profile pictures from my teens.
Emoji card 1
Emoji card 2
Enjoying a good ol' 69 after a workout.
Equal pay for women.
Everthing south of the Mason Dixon Line.
Excusing yourself from jury duty.
Expensive dental work.
Explaining to your grandmother that a butt dial and a booty call are two very different things.
Exploring my sexuality with a couch pillow.
Eye contact with your doctor during the entire physical exam.
Faking your own death to avoid a second date.
Fart to assert my dominance.
Farting and blaming the dog.
Father-daughter wedding dances.
Feeding the victims to the pigs.
Feeling it's necessary to express your political views on social media.
Ferguson riots.
Filming the girl next door…
Findig your missing cat on the menu at a Chinese restaurant.
Finding a home video of your parents during sexy time.
Finding out your in-laws are into extreme scrapbooking.
Finger painting with Kanye West.
Fingering Mario Lopez.
Fire-crotch.
Flight 370.
Flipping the bird.
Flowers, sunshine and kittens.
Foot fetishes.
For $20 more you can add a happy ending to your vasectomy.
Foreskin.
Frank Underwood.
Free-range baby day care.
From your head to your toes.
Frustrated spooning.
Fucking bitches and getting money.
Furry fetish.
Gerard Butler's abs.
Germany invading Russia in the summer.
Getting a blumpkin while eating a spicy taco.
Getting catfished.
Getting laid at a family reunion.
Getting seduced by your Uber® driver.
Ghetto.
Gilbert Godfrey.
Gluten free pretentiousness.
Going commando at my best friend's wedding.
Going in unprotected.
Going to bed early.
Going to the movies by yourself.
Golden showers.
Grabbing back boob when you meant to grab front boob.
Grandma folding your edible underwear.
Great job!
Gross negligence.
Group sexting with your girlfriend and her mom.
Gweneth Paltrow's head.
Hacktavist group Anonymous.
HaHa Clinton-Dix.
Hand-me-down anal beads from your grandmother.
Handcuffs, duct tape, and a ball gag.
Hanging out by myself.
Having a wet dream about Finding Nemo®.
Hearing your parents copulate.
Herpes.
Hilary Clinton in a tube top and assless chaps.
Hitting all the right spots.
Hold my beer, I'm gonna try something.
Homeless people everywhere.
How your daughter got pregnant.
Hugh Hefner. Enough said.
I remember my first beer.
I'm not racist. My girlfriend is black.
I'm still a virgin.
If you don't pick my card, you can go fuck yourself.
Incurable social anxiety and toxic flatulence.
Insurmountable student debt.
Intentionally handling jalapeno peppers before masturbating.
Interracial curling.
Inviting the pool boy in for a glass of water.
Is hunting Hipsters really that bad?
It could be a bag of nails, it could be a bag of kittens.
It's like Grindr® for people who like to cross stitch.
James Earl Jones narrating your masturbation.
Jessica Biel.
Jewish Christmas.
Jimi Hendrix.
Johnny Manziel and Roger Goodell in disguise in Vegas.
Jonah Hill riding naked on a valiant steed.
Justin Beiber's hairless chest.
Kim Jong-Un and his sexual partner, Dennis Rodman.
Knee high socks.
Knitting sweaters for homeless dogs.
Ladyboy Thai hookers.
Last ditch effort to get out of the ghetto.
Leaving your shopping cart in the parking lot beside the cart area.
Lebron James trying REALLY hard to be Michael Jordan.
Lebron James.
Letting Jesus touch you in ways you later describe to a jury.
Lil' Bow Wow.
Listening to idiots complain about their privileged lives.
Living a normal life.
Living off of my significant other and paying rent with sexual favors.
Losing your life savings on a single hand of black jack.
Lying to a jury to protect a drug dealer.
Mainlining 800mg of testosterone via a penis vein.
Making decisions for myself.
Making money.
Making people with lots of money happy so they give me some.
Marijuana so strong you become one with the couch and meld with the multiverse.
Marriage.
Marrying your step-sister because it's not incest.
Maturbating to a picture of Bill O'Reilly.
Me cago en la leche - it means no worries for the rest of your days!
Mexican Tom Brady.
Michael Vick's mobile pet grooming.
Midget donkey shows.
Mila Kunis in a Meg Griffin outfit.
Miley Cyrus' hairy arm pits.
Minions®: Drugs, Seploitation and Kanye West.
Moby Dick re-written using only emojis.
Monica Lewinksy.
Morgan Freeman's silky smooth voice.
Motorboating.
Multiple bottles of lotion in my bathroom.
My father's love and respect.
My first husband.
My grandmother's chronic hemorrhoids.
My own personal stupidity.
My sister's high school yearbook picture.
My solo sex tpe with a grapefruit and an Elmo® puppet.
My wife's fat ass.
Naked hula hooping… with cheerleaders.
Nerds.
New friends.
Not having a smartphone.
Nutella® scented cologne.
Offering public officials money in exchange for favors.
Office ping-pong against the asian.
Officer Delicious.
One horse-sized dick.
One hundred duck-sized horses.
Original thoughts.
Osama Bin Laden.
Painful childhood memories.
Parking in multiple spaces.
Parkinson's patients participating in a synchronized swimming competition.
Patriotic tramps stamps.
Peeing in the sink.
Penis sized nipples.
Peter Dinklage.
Peyton Manning's forehead.
Pikachu® wearing a tutu.
Playing grab-ass with your elementary school art teacher.
Playing Hot Cross Buns on the recorder.
Praying that bitch gets AIDs.
Pre-crazy Britney Spears (mid 90's to early 00's)
Preofessional napper.
Pubic hair styled into shape of a heart.
Puffy nipples and pale skin.
Pumpkin spice flavored condoms.
Puppet sodomy.
Puppies kissing penguins.
Putting a gerbil in a condom and shoving it up your ass.
Putting the dishes in the dishwasher. THE WRONG WAY.
Questionable life choices.
Quite the mouthful.
Race wars.
Racist frat boys from Alabama.
Racist propoganda from the 1960s.
Raging hot, sweaty sex with a co-worker.
Ramen Noodles.
Realizing how wrong you are, but still arguing for the hell of it.
Realizing Jasmine was a boy after you kissed her… him.
Rednecks with a full set of teeth.
Religious fanatic psychopaths.
Revenge cunnilingus… It just feels so good.
Rich kids trying to be hood.
Riding a horse. Naked. Like Gumby.
Role playing with moist towelettes.
Rosey Palm and her five sisters.
Russian roulette by eating expired meats.
Scarlett Johansson.
Scars resulting from choices that, in hindsight are obviously stupid.
Searching for "National Geographic® tits" on the internet.
Seductively eating a burrito.
Seeing your naked reflection while waiting for the porn to load.
Self-folding lundry.
Sending your ex-wife a Happy Anniversary card.
Sending your friends links to videos they'll never watch.
Sex ed class.
Sexting with your girlfriend and sending the pic of your side chick.
Sexual tension.
Sexually abused internet search engines.
Sexually charged debate of the Isreal/Palestine conflict.
Sez on mattress made of berry blue jello.
Sharting during a set of squats.
Shipping the poor off to work camps.
Shitting on the walls of the bathroom stall.
Shooting yourself with small caliber bullets helps build immunity to large bullets.
Sign a contract with Comcast® and kiss your soul goodbye.
Singing YMCA at a KKK rally.
Single ply toilet paper.
Sitting on the toilet playing with a smartphone.
Slapping your sister.
Sleeping like a rock.
Sleeping naked after taking a poop.
Smuggling a kilo of heroin across the border during a religious mission.
Some God damn peace and quiet.
Sometimes it's amazing but usually it's meh.
Spelling words with unnecessary silent letters.
Spending the rest of your life in a bottomless McDonald's® ball pit.
Spending time with your grandparents.
Sperm samples.
Sponge Bob Square Pants Gone Wild: Soaking up spring break.
Standing on the street corner selling Tic-Tacs® to pill junkies.
Staple removers.
Staying at home and masturbating.
Stealing all of the white rice in China.
Sterling Archer.
Sudoku® puzzles with no solutions.
Swiping right on your best friend's brother.
Taco Bell®, the official foor of burning anuses everywhere.
Taking a shit on my neighbor's doorstep.
Taking the dog for a walk during a military coup.
Talking about someone who is not present.
Talking to children about sex.
Taylor Swift music.
Tea bagging a co-worker.
Teaching ESL classes using the lost art of miming.
Teenage arrogance.
Teenagers with multimillion dollar recording contracts.
Test driving a used sex toy.
Testosterone.
Thanks Obama.
That guy from Magic Mike.
That's what she said.
The Chief Financial Officer for your company wearing camo cargo shorts and flip flops.
The chosen fluffer for asian porn stars.
The Church of Scientology®.
The Dark Lord Cthulhu.
The Eiffel Tower.
The Fappening.
The First Lady. Naked. I'm not afraid.
The fortress of loneliness.
The Grand Canyon.
The great outdoors.
The grotto.
The inappropriat use "of" quotation marks.
The Jodi Arias daycare center.
The light shining from Bernie Sanders' ass.
The people of Walmart®.
The Seattle Space Needle.
The Secret Window.
The seventh level of Hell, a.k.a. the birthplace of Donald Trump.
The sexcapades of Olympic village.
The skin flute, in A minor.
The worlds largest disco ball.
Theon Greyjoy's man bits.
Those damn bleeding heart liberals.
Threesomes with your ex and their new significant other!
Titties. Sweet, glorious titties.
Toe Fungus.
Transgender operations.
Treating a Chihuahua like a small child and putting it in a stroller.
Triumphantly defeating the friend zone.
Trolling Kim Kardashian on Twitter®.
Trying to breast feed a baby with man nipples.
Trying to explain that your Honduran, not Mexican. In Spanish.
Trying to get a license for helicoptering your dick.
Trypophobia - the fear of holes.
Two dogs fighting over a piece of bacon.
Unaccompanied minors.
Unauthorized anal penetration.
Uncircumcised penises.
Uncontrollable diarrhea.
Underboob sweat.
Unisex bathrooms.
Unnecessary prescription drugs.
Untamed pubic hair.
Unwanted asscrack.
Used children's diapers as a non-lethal deterrent during riots.
Using a .gov email adress to sign up for adult dating.
Using a bible as a door stop.
Using a butt plug as a wine stopper.
Using food stamps to buy Champagne.
Using glory holes on a food truck to hand out corn dogs.
Using Grandmother's urn as an ashtray.
Using ketchup as lubricant.
Using Obamacare to get a boob job.
Van Gogh's pornographic moving paintings.
Victoria' Secret® catalogues.
Waking up besides a nun.
Walter White.
Watching Cops to feel good about yourself.
Watching Game of Thrones® with small children.
Wearing a Snuggie® as formal attire.
Whenever we see fit.
Where the bartender knows your name, and your life story and still doesn't fucking care.
Whiskey coolers instead of water coolers at the workplace.
Whiskey neat, a cigar, and a half naked stripper.
White guilt.
Wiping your ass with your hand because you're out of toilet paper.
Writing an angry letter to your congressman regarding the deteriorating state of PBS® programming.
X-ray vision.
Yoga pants.
Your brother.
Your dad's other family. It's a secret.
Your mom's cankles.
Your racist Facebook® friend.
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Special Footnote Letter Set
O Prompt
I'm strongly into the Bible, I'm strongly into God and religion,
Trump told The Economist in September 2015. But then,
according to the Economist, "within a few seconds he appeared
to grow bored with the topic and switched to talking about how he
has 'a net worth of much more than $10 billion...'" V Prompt
During a February 2016 Republican presidential debate, Trump
called eminent domain, which allows the government to seize
private property from citizens on behalf of both public and private
development projects, an "absolute necessity." At the other end of
spectrum, he has passionately proclaimed his allegiance to the
right to keep and bear arms. "We love the 2nd Amendment,
folks," he said of his family after winning Nevada's Republican
primary in February 2016. "Nobody loves it more than us, so just
remember that." E Prompt
V Prompt
The NYSE delisted Trump Hotels on August 10, 2004. According

to the Philadelphia Enquirer, the stock's price plunged to 36 cents
a share that day. For $360, or the approximate price of seven
Trump Steak hamburgers, you could have bought 1000 shares. O Prompt
on day one of the Trump Administration, we will ask Congress to

immediately deliver a full repeal of Obamacare, Trump promises
on his campaign website. E Prompt
In March 2016, Morning Joe host Mika Brezinski asked Trump

who he consults with on foreign policy. Trump's reply? "I'm
speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good
brain and I've said a lot of things." E Prompt
Hoping to build a golf course, Trump purchased 436 acres of land
in upstate New York in the 1990s. When Trump had trouble
securing the necessary permits to proceed, he donated the land
to the state of New York in 2006 in return for tax breaks, and with
the idea that the land should be turned into a state park bearing
his name. While the state accepted the gift, it lacked the budget
to do much with it. In 2010, the park officially closed to the public
after four years of operation. A 2015 visitor posted photographs of
what he saw there on the website Deathandtaxes.com. The
photos depict a landscape of sticks, weeds, graffiti-strewn
buildings, and a pair of zebra-stripe panties. T Prompt
O Prompt
T
T Response
V Response
O Response
O Response
V Response
Mar-a-Lago, the private resort Trump owns in Palm Beach,
Florida, hires hundreds of hospitality workers to prepare meals,
wash dishes, bus tables, clean rooms, and perform other similar
functions. According to the New York Times, "hundreds of guest
workers from Romania and other countries" have obtained jobs
there. Since 2010, the resort has sought more than 500 visas for
such guest workers. In the same time period, the Times reported,
nearly 300 U.S. citizens applied for the kitchen, restaurant, and
housekeeping jobs, but only 17 were hired. "There are very few
qualified people during the high season in the area," Trump said,
in reference to American applicants. He did not elaborate on what
qualifications they lacked. O Response
As a student at the New York Military Academy, Trump won the

Neatness and Order Medal in 1960 and 1961. T Response
We swear we are not making this up. The "Trump Supreme"

pizza is topped with shrimp. We are confident, however, that they
are larger-than-average shrimp. Other toppings on the "Trump
Supreme" include mushrooms, peppers, sausage, and ham. E Response
There's no such thing as Trump University Nursing College. V Response
Launched in 2006, GoTrump.com was a travel website that

promised to give users "access to high quality hotels, flights,
private jets, rental cars and vacation packages -- all at lower
prices." Consumer demand for low-priced private jets proved
surprisingly weak. GoTrump.com crashed and burned in 2007. E Response
During an August 2015 interview with Trump, Fox News pundit
Bill O'Reilly noted that China's president, Xi Jinping, would soon
be "getting a big free dinner at the White House." Trump replied
that if he were President, he would not extend this level of
hospitality to Xi Jinping. "I would get him a McDonald's
hamburger. I would get them probably a double sized Big Mac." O Response
Dispelling the old canard that China doesn't invent anyhting,

Trump tweeted in 2012 that "the concept of global warming was
created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S.
manufacturing non-competitive." O Response
In his 2015 book, Crippled America, Trump writes that "Making

America Great Again begins at home. It means restoring a sense
of dignity to the White House, and to our country in general." V Response
T Response
In his book Crippled America, Trump writes: "…over 20 percent of

Americans are currently unemployed or underemployed. Believe
me, they're all over the place. I see them. I talk to them. I hug
them. I hold them. They are all over the place." T Response
In a 2006 appearance on The View, Trump complimented

Ivanka's "very nice figure," then exclaimed, "I've said if Ivanka
weren't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." E Response
E Response
The U.S. Justice Department sued Trump Management in 1973
for violating the Fair Housing Act. According to a 2016
Washington Post article, the government alleged that Trump
employess "directed blacks and Puerto Ricans away from the
buildingwith mostly white tenants, and steered them toward
properties that had many minorities." Trump Management
countersued, denying the government's charges. "What we didn't
do was rent to welfare cases, white or black," Trump insisted in
his 1987 book, The Art of the Deal. T Response
In 2007, Trump negotiated a deal with The Sharper Image to sell
Trump Steaks. The steaks were only available through mail-order.
A box of 24 burgers and 16 steaks cost $999, or roughly $50 per
piece of meat. The Sharper Image executive who set up the deal
told Thinkprogress.org that he would be "surprised" if total sales
had exceeded $50,000. O Response
O Response
In his 1997 book, The Art of the Comeback, Trump describes
Lady Diana as "a genuine princess -- a dreamlady." In August
2015, British TV presenter Selina Scott claimed that Trump
repeatedly sent "massive bouquets of flowers" to Diana in the
1990s, and that the princess told her that Trump gave her "the
creeps." E Response
E Response
In a January 2016 campaign appearance in Reno, Nevada,

Trump complained that the NFL now penalizes head-on-head
collisions. "Football has become soft like our country has become
soft," he concluded. E Response
In a November 2015 campaign event in Springfield, Illinois,

Trump exclaimed, "You know, I'm not a big sleeper, I like three
hours, four hours, I toss, I turn, I beep-de-beep, I want to find out
what's going on." T Response
Like Doctor Dolittles of doom, Trump sons Donald Jr. and Eric
spent a safari trip in Zimbabwe talking to the animals - with their
rifles. Then, they posed for photos with a very dead menagerie
that included a cheetah, an elephant, a crocodile, an antelope,
and a buffalo. When these photos provoked outrage, Donald
Trump, Jr. explained that the seemingly wanton carnage was
sustainable and altruistic. "I can assure you it was not wasteful,"
he tweeted. "The villagers were so happy for the meat which they
don't often get to eat." E Response
T Response
E Response
E Response
PICK 2 E Response
T Response
O Response
V Response
O Response
At a November 2015 campaign event in Birmingham, Alabama,
Trump told the crowd he watched "thousands and thousands" of
U.S. Muslims "cheering" the 9/11 attack. A day later, he clarified
his remarks to ABC's George Stephanopoulos. "It was on
television. I saw it. There were people that were cheering on the
other side of New Jersey, where you have large Arab
populations." According to FoxNews.com, "there is no evidence in
news archives of mass celebrations by Muslims in Jersey City,
which sits right across the Hudson River from Lower Manhattan,
with clear views of the World Trade Center site." V Response
Trump introduced a line of flavored vodka in 2006. It came in
grape, citron, orange, and raspberry, and received so little
interest from consumers that no one is sure when it disappeared
from the market. Estimates put its demise at around 2011. V Response
T Mechanic
E Mechanic
V Mechanic
First, Trump told Ramos, who is a U.S. citizen, to "go back to
Univision." Then, when Ramos continued to challenge Trump
about Trump's statements on illegal immigration, a security
person physically removed Ramos from the room. O Mechanic
V
The website for Trump Natural Spring Water states that the water
"is tested continually to confirm its purity and bottled at the source
in a modern day facility to ensure purity is maintained." The
supplier for Trump Natural Spring Water is a company called
Village Springs Corporation, which is located in South Willington,
CT. T
Introducing Trump at an event that took place at Liberty College
in January 2016, Jerry Falwell, Jr. exclaimed, "In my opinion,
Donald Trump lives a life of loving and helping others as Jesus
taught in the great commandment." For reasons that remain
unclear, God did not immediately disavow Jerry Falwell, Jr. T
In March 2016, Trump faced criticism for not immediately
disavowing an endorsement from former Ku Klux Klan Grand
Wizard David Duke. "There's nobody that's done so much for
equality as I have," Trump exclaimed on ABC's Good Morning
America. "You take a look at Palm Beach, Florida. I built the Mar-
a-Lago Club totally open to everybody." E
My net worth fluctuates, and it goes up and down with the
markets and with attitudes and with feelings, even my own
feelings, but I try, Trump explained during a 2007 deposition
related to his libel lawsuit against journalist Timothy O'Brien.
O'Brien had questioned the real amount of Trump's net worth in
his 2005 book, TrumpNation. Trump lost the lawsuit, appealed,
then lost again. E
V
V
During an October 2015 presidential debate, Trump said, "I have
a permit to carry, concealed, which is rare in New York. I Carry on
occasion, sometimes a lot. I like to be unpredictable." E
E
At a campaign event that took place in Mobile, Alabama in August
2015, Trump told the crowd that his favorite book is the Bible. A
few days later, a Bloomberg TV commentator asked Trump what
his favcorite Biblical verse is. "The Bible means a lot to me, but I
don't want to get into specifics," Trump replied. T
T
According to Slate, the New York Rescue Workers Detox
Program is "based on the teachings of Scientology founder L.
Ron Hubbard and detailed in his book Clear Body, Clear Mind."
The Detox Program is designed to flush toxins from the body
"using an intensive regimen of jogging, oil ingestion, sauna, and
high doses of vitamins, particularly niacin." In 2006, Trump's
foundation contributed $1000 to the program. E
V
O
O
T
T
O
What do you think of waterboarding? Trump asked the crowd at a
June 2016 campaign event in Ohio. "I like it a lot. I don't think it's
tough enough." V
V
V
V
O
T
In his 2004 book, Trump: How to Get Rich, Trump writes, "All the
women on The Aprrentice flirted with me -- consciously or
unconsciously." E
In numerous TV and campaign event appearances, Trump has
promised to knock the hell out of ISIS. In February 2016, when
CNN's Wolf Blitzer asked him how exactly he'll accomplish this,
Trump declined to share his strategy. "We aim to have a little bit
of surprise every once in a while wihtout telling our plans," he
said. T
After receiving multiple student deferments during the Vietnam
War, Trump received a medical deferment in 1968 for bone spurs
in both of his heels. O
T
V
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In a 1998 New York Times article, a construction worker recounts
how he and "200 other undocumented Polish immigrants" were
paid $4 to $5 an hour in 1980 to work 12-hour shifts seven days a
week, using sledgehammers and blowtorches to demolish the
historic Bonwit Teller Building. While the Metropolitan Museum of
Art had expressed interest inobtaining part of the building's
historic façade. Trump decided that the cost of preserving it was
prohibitive. SO the workers destroyed it. O
Shortly after Trump announced he was running for President,
reporters started asking questions about the many draft
deferments Trump obtained during the Vietnam War. In response,
his campaign released a statement. It read: "Although he was not
a fan of the Vietnam War ...had his draft number been selected
he would have proudly served..." T
In a 1999 appearance on NBC's Meet The Press, Trump
described himself as "very pro-choice." In March 2016, Trump
likened his current position to that of Ronald Reagan. "I am pro-
life with exceptions," he said. Those exceptions include incest,
rape, and life of the mother. V
V
O
In a June 2015 event that took place at the mall at Trump Tower,
Trump officially announced that he was running for president. The
Hollywood Reporter subsequently reported that actors wearing
"Make America Great Again" t-shirts over their own clothes were
paid $50 to carry signs and cheer for Trump as he made his
announcement. An agency called Extra Mile Casting recruited the
actors. Trump's campaign manager, Corey Lewandowski, insisted
to The Hollywood Reporter that Trump's campaign had not paid
anyone to appear at the announcement, and that he'd never
heard of Extra Mile Casting. V
V
While Trump believes China is "raping" the U.S. on trade, he has

sold Chinese-made goods to American consumers for years -
including the 100 percent silk ties in his Signature Collection. "It's
very, very hard to have anything in apparel made in this country,"
Trump told CNN's Jake Tapper in 2015. In reality, major brands
like Brooks Brothers and J. Crew sell domestically made ties. In
fact, there are at least five U.S. tie manufacturers located within
miles of Trump Tower in New York.
According to Politifact.com, the Mafia "had a virtual monopoly on

concrete in New York at the time Trump was adding his name to
its skyline in the 1980s" While Trump often touts the peach-toned
marble and polished maple hardwood floors that characterize his
projects, his skyscrapers are, at least in some cases, built on
concrete supplied by guys with nicknames like "Fat Tony."
In campaign speeches, Trump has told the story of how U.S.

Army General John Pershing supposedly dipped 50 bullets in
pig's blood, then used the bullets to execute 50 Muslims
insurgents in the Philippines in the early 1900s. Because Muslims
consider pigs' blood unholy, this method of execution presumably
functioned as a deterrent against additional insurgent activity.
While Time magazine cites contemporaneous news reports that
General Pershing buried Muslims with pigs and threw pigs' blood
at them, the Pershing scholars that Time consulted said they've
never seen any evidence that shows that the General did in fact
execute insurgents with bullets dipped in pigs' blood.
In July 2015, Beada Corum registered to vote for the first time in
her life after hearing Donald Trump speak. The 93-year-old plans
to vote for him in the 2016 election. ABC News reports that she is
"hard of hearing and needs corrective lenses."
Anthony Senecal worked as Trump's butler at Mar-a-Lago from

1985 through 2009 and then reportedly continued as the club's
"in-hoouse historian" until earlier this year. In unhinged Facebook
posts, Senecal called for the execution of Barack Obama and
described him as a "Kenyan fraud" and a "rotten filthy muzzie." In
other rants, he posted images of the Confederate flag and
exclaimed that Ferguson, Missouri should be "carpet-bombed." In
the wake of Mother Jones' reporting on Senecal's posts, a Trump
spokesperson said the sampaign "disavowed" Senecal's "horrible
statements."
In June 2016, USA Today reported that Trump and his businesses
"have been involved in at least 3,500 legal actions in federal and
state courts during the past three decades." In approximately
1300 of those cases, Trump and his businesses were the
defendant. In 1900, they were the plaintiff. For comparison, USA
Today also assessed the legal records of five other "top real-
estate developers." Its conclusion: "Trump has been involved in
more legal skirmishes than all five of the others - combined."
According to a 1990 Vanity Fair article, Ivana Trump, who was
then in the process of divorcing Donald, told her lawyer that
Trump kept a book of Hitler's speeches in a cabinet next to his
bed.
According to the New York Times, the Better Business Bureau
gave Trump University a "D-Minus" in 2010 after receiving 23
complaints about the organization.
In April 2016, legendary basketball coach Bobby Knight, who was

fired by Indiana University in 2000 for "unacceptable" bahavior,
campaigned on behalf of Trump in the days leading up to
Indiana's primary vote. "That son of a bitch can play for me!"
Knight exclaimed at one rally, according to Time magazine.
In a 2011 radio show appearance, Trump maintained that he has

"a great relationship with the blacks."
We won the evangelicals. We won with young. We won with old.
We won with highly educated. I love the poorly educated, Trump
exclaimed in February 2016, after winning Nevada's Republican
primary.
I happen to be a clean hands freak, Trump wrote in 1997's The
Art of the Comeback. "I feel much better after I thoroughly wash
my hands, which I do as much as possible." According to the New
York Times, Trump has been known to distribute little bottles of
Purell to reporters.
In October 2006, Trump hoisted a larger-than-average American
flag on his Mar-a-Lago property in Palm Beach, Florida. When
local officials started fining him $250 a day for erecting an 80-foot
flagpole without a permit, Trump sued the town for $25 million.
Eventually the two parties reached a settlement, wtih Trump
agreeing to replace the original flagpole with a shorter one, in a
different location on his property.
In August 2015, Trump agreed to pose in his office with a 27-
year-old bald eagle named Uncle Sam mussed up Trump's hair
with his wing at one point, then aggressively pecked at Trump
while Trump was reaching for a bottle of aspirin. "This bird is
seriously dangerous but beautiful," Trump concluded.
As president, Trump says he will deport 11 million undocumnted

immigrants in roughly two years. Citing a study conducted by the
American Action Forum, a free-market think tank, the Wall Street
Journal reports that this effort "would require at least $400 billion
in new federal spending and reduce U.S. GDP by about $1
trillion."
In campaign speeches, Trump frequently warns that ISIS is

coming to America to chop off Christian heads.
According to a 1984 New York Times article, Trump kept a pink
marble football with white cotton laces in his office. It was
displayed on a bronze tee.
In response to U.S. - South Korea military exercises in March
2016, North Korea warned that it might deploy "a pre-emptive
nuclear strike of justice" against Washington and Seoul. In a
speech a couple months earlier, Trump had characterized North
Korea's leader Kim JOng Un as a "maniac." Continuing, Trump
said, "You have to give him credit. How many young guys - he
was like 26 or 25, when his father died... he goes in, he takes
over, and he's the boss. He's incredible."
At a Virginia campaign event in July 2016, a U.S. military veteran
handed Trump his Purple Heart. "I always wanted to get the
Purple Heart," Trump later told the crowd. "This was much
easier."
I don't have a racist bone in my body, Trump explained to People

magazine in June 2015, in the wake of his comments about how
Mexico was sending rapists to the U.S. A few days later, he
confidently repeated to Entertainment Tonight that his body
contains no racist bones.
I'm telling you, November 8, we'd better be careful, because that

election is going to be rigged, Trump told Fox News in August
2016. Later that month, at a campaign event in Pennsylvania,
Trump spoke of actively monitoring polling places on Election
Day. "We're hiring a lot of people. We're putting a lot of law
enforcement - we're going to watch and study, and make sure
other people don't come in and vote five times."
In 2010, Ford re-introduced the Fiesta to the U.S. market. It

produces the cars in Mexico.
Trump introduced his bottled water brand, Trump Ice, in 2003.

Initially, it was available in grocery stores and other retailers. But
with sales coming in at a trickle, it disappeared from the general
marketplace in 2010. Now, Trump markets a brand called Trump
Natural Spring Water. It is a favorite at Trump Hotels, Trump
restaurants, and Trump golf club properties - and nowhere else.
In 1989, Milton Bradley released TRUMP, a board game that
Trump described as a "more sophisticated version of Monopoly."
At launch, Trump peldged to give his share of the profits to AIDS
research and other charities. But ultimately sales were lower than
anticipated - around 800,000 copies against projections of 2
million. "I think it was too complicated a game," Trump mused in
August 1990. In June 2016, the Huffington Post tried to find out
how much of the proceeds Trump donated to charity. Neither the
Trump Organization, Trump's presidential campaign, nor his
lawyers responded to its inquiries.
In January 2016, John Wayne's daughter endorsed Donald
Trump at the John Wayne Birthplace Museum in Winterset, Iowa.
"We need someone like Mr. Trump with leadership qualities,
someone with courage. And I'll tell you what: If John Wayne were
around, he'd be standing right here instead of me," exclaimed
Aissa Wayne. In the background, a wax statue of John Wayne
looked on.
The Art of the Deal, a 1987 best-seller, helped introduce Trump to
a national audience. While Trump claims it is "the No. 1 selling
business book of all time," Politifact.com's research suggests it
wasn't even the best-selling business book of the 1980s. Both
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People and In Search Of
Excellence have sold more.
In his 2000 book, The America We Deserve, Trump writes, "My

only complaint is that lethal injection is too comfortable a way to
go."
The United States government owns more real estate than
anybody else, more land than anybody else, more energy than
anybody else, said Barry Bennet, a senior adviser to the Trump
campaign, during an April 2016 interview on MSNBC. "We can
get rid of government building we're not using, we can extract the
enrgy from government lands, we can do all kinds of thingsto
extract value from the assets that we hold." (Bennet parted ways
with the Trump campaign in June 2016.)
Think Big and Kick Ass is one of sixteen books Trump has written.
A soap opera star and former Calvin Klein underwear model,

Sabato Jr. spoke on Trump's behalf at the Republican National
Convention.
What's your priority among our nuclear triad? moderator Hugh
Hewitt asked Trump in a December 2015 Republican presidential
debate. While the term "nuclear triad" refers to America's three
different systems for delivering nuclear weapons, Trump was
clearly unfamiliar with it.
In 2010, New York's state Education Department told Trump
University, which did not confer college credits or degrees and
was not chartered as a university, that its use of the word
"university" was "misleading" and a violation of state laws. In
response, Trump University changes its name to Trump
Entrepreneur Initiative.
In December 2015, Trump released a letter from his longtime

physician, Dr. Harold Bornstein, in which Dr. Bornstein described
Trump's blood pressure, 110/65, as "astonishingly excellent."
According to the Mayo Clinic, blood pressure below 120/80 is
characterized as "normal blood pressure."
In November 2015, a Huffington Post reporter asked Jeb Bush if
he would go back in time and kill Baby Hitler. "Hell yeah I would!"
Bush responded. "You gotta step up, man." The question
originated in an October 2015 New York Times Magazine poll.
In February 2016, Ted Cruz speculated that Trump won't release
his tax returns because they might show "donations to liberal
groups like Planned Parenthood." Trump later replied that he isn't
sure if he ever made a donation to the group. As of August 2016,
Trump still hasn't released his tax returns.
In March 2016, a Trump fan sucker-punched a protester who was
being removed from a campaign rally by security. When CNN's
Jake Tapper asked Trump if Trump's own remarks were
encouraging this kind of violence. Trump said it was actually the
protesters' fault. "We have some protesters who are bad dudes.
They have done bad things, and they are really dangerous."
In a July 2015 appearance in Ames, Iowa, Trump took aim at
former POW Senator John McCain. "He's not a war hero," Trump
insisted. "He was a war hero because he was captured. I like
people who weren't captured."
In 2011, Trump told NBC's Meredith Vieira that he had people in

Hawaii searching for Barack Obama's birth certificate: "They
cannot believe what they're finding." Five years later, Trump has
yet to disclose their allegedly hard-to-believe findings. In July
2016, the New York Times reported that "the Hawaii state
registrar who handled inquiries about MR. Obama, said recently
through a spokeswoman that he had no evidence or recollection
of Mr. Trump or any of his representatives ever requesting the
records from the Hawaii State Department of Health."
In an extended bout of politically incorrect candor - Supreme

Court justices are expected to keep their personal political beliefs
to themselves - Ruth Bader Ginsburg criticized Trump in a series
of interviews in July 2016. Her decision to share her thoughts was
rebuked by legal ethicists and Trump himself. "Her mind is shot -
resign!" the latter tweeted. Two days later, Ginsburg released a
statement saying she regretted making the remarks.
In July 2016, Melania Trump's speechwriter reached across the

aisle - and grabbed a portion of Michelle Obama's DNC
convention speech from 2008. As a result, Melania ended up
telling America that her parents taught her that "your word is your
bond," just like Michelle's parents did.
At Trump Hotels spas, a 60-minute "Body mud infusion" costs

$175. As far as we can tell, no literal "infusion" of mud into the
body takes place. But a Trump Hotels brochure does describe the
experience as "decadent."
In a November 2015 campaign event in Iowa, Trump promised
that he would "bomb the shit out of [ISIS]." Around the same time,
he also suggested he would "strongly consider" shutting down
some U.S. mosques, which would effectively bomb the shit out of
the 1st Amendment and its prohibition against "impeding the free
exercise of religion."
In 2015, attorney Elizabeth Beck told CNN that Trump had an

"absolute meltdown" when she asked to take a break during a
2011 deposition so she could pump breast milk. "He got up, his
face got red, he shook his finger at me and he screamed, 'You're
disgusting, you're disgusting,' and he ran out of there," Beck said.
When reporters asked Trump why he had made donations to
Nancy Pelosi and other Democratic politicians, Trump explained
that such contributions were an effort to procure "business-
related favors."\
While Trump claims he has to hire so many foreign workers at

Mar-a-Lago because he can't find qualified American employees,
a former Mar-a-Lago head chef told CNN in July 2016 that the
club hired "attractive foreigners" to work as waiters and desk
attendants because of "their exotic appeal."
In 2013, Melania Trump introduced her new skincare collection,

Melania, which includescaviar-infused cleansing balm. "Intended
for everyday use," A 4 oz. bottle retails for $50. Melania told ABC
News that she puts it on her son, Barron Trump, "from head to
toe."
After London's new mayor, Sadiq Khan, declared that Trump was
"ignorant about Islam" in May 2016, Trump challenged Khan to
an IQ test. But does an IQ test adequately project a message of
strength and power along with smarts? We encourage Trump to
demand a game of Rock, Paper, Scissors instead.
Trump often accuses the Chinese government of "cheating" on

trade, perticularly through currency manipulation, or deliberately
lowering the value of the yuan in order to make Chinese exports
cheaper. From 2005 onward, however, pressure from the U.S.
government has caused China to let the yuan appreciate about
30 percent. In May 2015, the International Monetary Fund
concluded "that the [yuan's] substantial real effective appreciation
over the past year has brought the exchange rate to a level that is
no longer undervalued."
In June 2016, GOP political consultant Rick Wilson dubbed
Trump "Cheeto Jesus." Trump, who has long had the best words,
now has the best nickname as well.
In a December 2015 campaign appearance in South Carolina,

Trump suggested that ISIS was using social media to recruit
"thousands" who "are leaving our country" and going overseas for
training. "We have to go see Bill Gates and a lot of different
people that really understand what's happening," Trump
elaborated. "We have to talk to them about, maybe in certain
areas, closing that INternet up in some way."
Trump is a modern-day Carrie Nation who says he's never tried

alcohol of any kind. Instead, he drinks Coca Cola. Coke Million,
the extra-calorie luxury alternative to Coke Zero, doesn't actually
exist, but if it did, we're pretty sure it would be Trump's favorite.
Clean coal, wherein coal-fired power plants use various

technologies to reduce their carbon emissions, is Trump's favorite
kind of coal. "I want clean coal, and we're going to have clean
coal and we're going to have plenty of it. We're going to have
great, clean coal," he exclaimed at May 2016 campaign event in
Charleston, West Virginia.
At an Augsut 2016 campaign event in Virginia, a baby started
crying. "I love babies. I hear that baby crying. I like it," Trump said.
"Actually, I was only kidding," he said shortly thereafter. "You can
get that baby out of here."
In a June 2016 appearance in Florida, Trump got so worked up to
chants of "Build that wall!" that he stepped away from the podium,
turned his back on the crowd, and started fiercly nuzzling one of
the flags that had been set up behind him.
We're going to win at trade, we're going to win at the border.
We're going to win so much, you're going to be so sick and tired
of winning, you're going to come to me and go 'Please, please,
we can't win anymore,' Trump exclaimed at a May 2016
campaign event in Billings, Montana. "And I'm going to say, 'I'm
sorry, but we're going to keep winning, winning, winning.'"
At an August 2016 campaign event in Virginia, a baby started

get the baby out of here."
A former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, David Duke is

running for the U.S. Senate this year in Louisianna. Like other
white nationalists, Duke has endorsed Trump. While Trump
publicly disavowed Duke's support in the spring of 2016, this has
not deterred Duke's enthusiasm for Trump. "As a United States
senator, nobody will be more supportive of his legaslative
agenda, his Supreme Court agenda, than I will," Duke told NPR
in August 2016.
In January 2016, a Daily Beast reporter asked Tyson how he, as

a Muslim, could vote for Trump after Trump vowed to ban
Muslims from entering the U.S. "It's just not going to happen,"
Tyson predicted. "He's just not gonna do that. Congress just won't
do that. But that doesn't mean he can't be president, you kno
what I mean?"
According to the New York Daily News, University of Louisianna
at Lafayette political scientist Pearson Cross observes that Trump
"has adopted or co-opted many of the issues [David] Duke has
preached for a long time such as the dangers of unfettered
immigration or unfair trade deals."
Since the ratification of the 14th Amendment in 1868, native-born

children of immigrants have been considered U.S. citizens,
regardless of their parents' legal status. In an August 2015
appearance on NBC's Meet The Press, Trump explained that he
wants to eliminate "birthright citizenship" and deport children
whose parents are not legal citizens, even if the children
themselves are. "They have to go," Trump insisted.
In August 2016, Trump tweeted a photo that showed him eating a
piece of KFC chicken with a knife and fork. We believe this is the
clearest proof yet that Trump may actually be a shape-
shiftingextraterrestrial sent to Planet Earth to enslave humanity.
In a May 2016 campaign event in Indiana, Trump accused China
of "raping our country" with its trade policies. His ostensible
remedy: economic castration in the form of a 45 percent tariff on
goods shipped from China.
I actually think I'd be a great cheerleader for the country, Trump

told the Washington Post in March 2016. "Because a lot of people
feel it's a hopeless situation. A lot of people in the inner cities they
feel that way. And you have to start by giving them hope and
giving them spirit and that has not taken place. Just has not taken
place."
In December 2015, Putin called Trump "talented." In May 2016,

North Korea's state-run media outlet, DPRK, described Trump as
"wisse" and "far-sighted." In August 2016, the leader of
Hezbollah, and Islamist militant group based in Lebanon, spoke
positively about Trump's characterization of President Obama as
the "foudner of ISIS." And finally there's Kid Rock. "I'm digging
Trump," he told Rolling Stone in February 2016. "His campaign
has been entertaining as shit."
Thanks to high anti-dumping tariffs, U.S. steel imports fell 29
percent in the first quarter of 2016. But according to
Marketrealist.com, domestic production was still down 0.6
percent through the first half of the year. To significantly increase
steelworker jobs, it's not enough to simply reduce foreign supply.
Trump will also need to figure out some way to increase domestic
demand.
In April 2015, a Governor of Indiana, future Trump running mate

Mike Pence signed into law a religious freedom bill that was,
according to the Huffington Post, designed to "give business
owners a stronger legal defense if they refuse to serve lesbian,
gay, bisexual and transgender customers and want to cite their
faith as justification for their actions." Following the bill's passage,
a faith-driven pizza shop in Walkerton, Indiana made national
headlines when it pre-emptively announced it would not cater gay
weddings.
After Alicia Machado won the Miss Universe beauty pageant in

1997, she gained 50 pounds. Trump, who'd recently purchased
the pageant, called the 20-year-old beauty contestant "an eating
machine" in an interview with Howard Stern. He also made her
work out in front of photographers and reporters in New York City.
As long a sit took Speaker of the House Paul Ryan to endorse
Trump, it took Trump even longer to endorse Ryan. He finally did
it on August 5th, 2016, at a campaign rally in Ryan's home state
of Wisconsin, with all the enthusiasm of someone responding to a
tweet they don't really like but feel they must acknowledge
somehow.
At a meeting with House Republicans in July 2016, one lawmaker

asked Trump how he'd protect the powers that Article I of the
Constitution grants Congress. "I want to protect Article I, Article II,
Article XII - go down the list," Trump reportedly replied. In fact,
there are only seven articles in the Constitution.
I know words, I have the best words, Trump exclaimed at a
December 2015 campaign rally in Hilton Head, South Carolina.
During a February 2016 Republican presidential debate, Trump

called eminent domain, which allows the government to seize
private property from citizens on behalf of both public and private
development projects, an "absolute necessity." Working with a
state governement agency in the 1990s, Trump tried to use
eminent domain to force several Atlantic City property owners to
sell their homes and small businesses so he could build a parking
lot for his casino. Through a lawsuit, the property owners
successfully resisted the effort.
The other thing with the terrorists is you have to take out their
families… Trump exclaimed in a December 2015 Fox News
interview. When observers pointed out that killing the family
members of terrorsits would violate the Geneva Conventions, the
Trump campaign insisted that Trump would operate within
international law and simply "go after [family members] with the
full force of everything we have."
[Obama's] the founder of ISIS, Trump exclaimed at an August
2016 campaign event in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida. "He's the
founder of ISIS. He's the founder. He founded ISIS." After initially
tweeting that he intended the remarks as "SARCASM," Trump
later told an audience in Erie, PA that he was being "sarcastic...
but not that sarcastic." For the record, President Obama did not
found ISIS.
To make higher education more accessible to all Americans,

President Obama has proposed tuition-free community college. In
similar fashion, Trump University used to offer free 90-minute
seminars before it shut down in the face of consumer complaints
and lawsuits.
At a March 2016 Trump campaign event in Louisville, Kentucky,
three Trump supporters - including a well-known white nationalist,
a young Marine Corps recruit, and a 75-year-old Korean war
veteran, yelled at and shoved a young black woman who was
there to protest the event. In July, the LouisvilleMetro Police
Department issued criminal summons for the three men, charging
them with "harrassment with physical contact." In addition, the
Marines discharged the recruit.
In 2012, after shooting an elephant in Africa, Donald Trump Jr.
posed for a portrait while holding the dead animal's freshly
severed tail.
In February 2016, Republican presidential candidate John Kasich

addressed the topic of bakeries and other businesses refusing to
extend their services to same-sex couples for religious reasons.
"If you're a cupcake maker and someone wants a cupcake, make
them a cupcake," Kasich said. "Let's not have a big lawsuit or
argument over all this stuff. Move on.
In May 2016, Fox News host Bill O'Reilly asked Trump if he

provides gender-neutral facilities at his properties. "I hope not,"
Trump replied. "Because frankly, it would be unbelievably
expensive nationwide. It would be hundreds of billions of dollars."
In December 2011, Trump tweeted that his Mar-a-Lago Club :has
the best meatloaf in America." In August 2012, he tweeted that
the Trump Grill in Trump Tower has the "best meatloaf in the
City…"
On at least two occasions, USA Today reports, law firms that

Trump hired to represent his business ended up suing him for his
failure to pay for their work. Both cases were settled out of court.
When Gaddafi came to the U.S. in 2009 to attend the UN General

Assembly, he needed a place to set up the giant Bedouin tent he
used to stay in while traveling. After failing to secure permission
to erect the tent in Central Park and New Jersey, the Libyan
dictator ended up renting space on an estate owned by Trump in
New York's Westchester County. Local officials issued a stop-
order as the tent was being erected; a permit to set up a
temporary residence had not been secured.
A woman named Birgitt Peterson attended a Trump rally in

Chicago in March 2016. While wearing a Trump t-shirt, Peterson
was photographed giving a Nazi salute as anti-Trump protestors
looked on. Petereson told the New York Times that she performed
the salute because she believed comparisons between Trump
and der Fuhrer were ill-founded. Nonetheless, she quickly
became known as Granny Hitler.
Trump University was an unaccredited education company that
charged customers as much as $35,000 for real estate
instruction. In infomercials and print ads for the enterprise. Trump
said he "hand-picked" Trump Uiniversity's instructors. Trump
University, which stopped offering classes in 2011, is now the
target of multiple lawsuits. In these lawsuits, customers criticize
the instructors' high-pressure tactics and question their alleged
expertise. In a 2012 deposition, Trump said he did not actually
hand-pick the company's instructors, nor could he name a single
course the company offered.
A person who thinks only about building walls… and not building
bridges, is not Christian, Pope Francis said of Trump in February
2016. Trump called the Pope's comments "disgraceful."
If I'm president, you're going to see 'Merry Christmas' in

department stores, believe me, believe me, Trump exclaimed in
January 2016, at a campaign event at Liberty University in
Lynchburg, Virginia. "You're going to see it."
In 1991, when Trump was living with Marla Maples, a People

magazine reporter recorded a phone conversationwith alleged
Trump publicist "John Miller," who is now believed to have been
Trump himself. In their conversation, Miller/Trump told the
reporter that in addition to living with Maples, Trump had "three
other girlfriends."
In 2011, Trump said he'd hired investigators to search for Barack

Obama's birth certificate. Now that he describes Obama as the
"founder of ISIS," and credits Hillary Clinton as the "co-founder,"
more detective work may be in order.
I have a great relationship with the Mexican people… Trump told

NBC News in July 2015. "They love me, I love them." A year later,
in July 2016, a Wall Street Journal/NBC News national poll found
that just 14 percent of registered Hispanic voters said they would
vote for Trump.
In August 2015, Trump told reporters that he was going to stop
eating Oreos, to protest the fact that Nabisco, their manufacturer,
had moved some of its operations from Chicago to Mexico. While
Nabisco officials clarified that the company will continue to
produce Oreos in at least three U.S. plants, some Oreos destined
for U.S. consumption are in fact immigrant Oreos, made in
Mexcio.
In March 2016, when Ben Carson appeared on The View, Whoopi

Goldberg asked him how he could endorse someone who "has
bashed women" and "made countless racist remarks." In the
wake of additional negative remarks from co-host Joy Behar,
Trump railed against the show on Twitter, calling it a "total
disaster" that is "failing so badly it will soon be taken off the air."
Trump's three eldest children were born to an immigrant mother
and cared for by a pair of immigrant nannies, both of whom hailed
from County Kerry, Ireland.
In a November 2015 interview with CNN, Trump disucssed the
temper of then-opponent Ben Carson. "It's in the book that he's
got a pathological temper," Trump said. "That's a big problem
because you don't cure that… You don't cure these people. You
don't cure a child molester. There's no cure for it. Pathological,
there's no cure for that." When Carson dropped his bid for office
and endorsed Trump, Trump announced that this formerly
incurable sociopath would be "very involved" with Trump's
education-related" efforts.
Trump believes climate change is a "hoax," and that

environmental regulations and international agreements designed
to reduce carbon emissions are hurting the economy. If elected,
he has promised to "rescind all the job-destroying Obama
executive actions, including the climate action plan."
I have a judeg who is a hater of Donald Trump , a hater… His

name is Gonzalo Curiel, Trump exclaimed at a May 2016
campaign event in San Diego, referring to the U.S. District judge
presiding over Trump University litigation. In several instances,
Trump descibed Curiel as "Mexican" and said he could not judge
Trump fairly because of Trump's desire to build a wall on the
Mexican border. But while Curiel's parents came from Mexico, he
himself was born in Indiana in 1953. Thus, the 63-year-old judge
has actually been a U.S. citizen six years longer than Trump's
running mate, 57-year-old Mike Pence.
According to CNN, Trump's businesses have been approved "to

import at least 1256 guest workers" over the last 15 years
thorugh the H-2B visa program. When guest workers are hired
through this program, they typically can only continue to stay in
the U.S. as long as they're working for the employer that hired
them. This, critics contend, means that such workers are easier to
exploit than workers who have the freedom to voice complaints or
even change jobs wihtout risking their resident status.
Foxconn is a multinational manufacturing company with factories
in India, Mexico, Europe and Asia, including twelve in China.
According to the New York Times, "it assembles an estimated 40
percent of the world's consumer electronics."
According to the New York Times, the toilet seats on Trump's
Boeing 757 jet have been reupholstered in "Edelman leather."
Leightweight chockers is how, on Twitter, Trump spells

"lightweight chokers."
In his July 2016 speech at the RNC, Trump promised to "restore

law and order" to America. In the same speech, he decried
"excessive regulation" and the adverse impact environmental
laws and other forms of government oversight have on the
economy.
Let us cater to your party needs by preparing a gourmet selection
of hot & cold canapés to be delievered [to your room], reads a
Trump Hotels brochure. For $70, you can get a dozen almond
crusted shrimp.
I know more about ISIS than the generals do, Trump exclaimed at
a November 2015 campaign event in Fort Dodge, Iowa. At an
August 2016 campaign event in Ft. Lauderdale, Trump revealed
something no general had managed to uncover:"[Obama's] the
founder of ISIS. He's the founder of ISIS. He's the founder. He
founded ISIS." After initially tweeting that he intended the remarks
as "SARCASM," Trump later told an audience in Erie, PA that he
was being "sarcastic... but not that sarcastic."
In 2007, Trump negotiated a deal with The Sharper Image to sell

Trump Steaks. The steaks were only available through mail-order.
A box of 24 burgers and 16 steaks cost $999, or roughly $50 per
piece of meat.
While Trump has not explicitly endorsed commercializing Old

Faithful, he did announce that he'd like to open up access to
untapped oil and gas reserves in protected federal lands. "This is
your treasure, and you - the American People - are entitled to
share in the riches," he exclaimed during a May 2016 campaign
appearance in North Dakota.
In February 2016, Carrier, an Indiana-based air conditioner
manufacturer, announced it was moving its factory - and 1400
jobs - to Mexico. In response, Trump said he would impose a 35
percent tariff on any Mexican-made air conditioners the company
tries to sell in the U.S.
In a September 2015 presidential debate, Trump explained that
he thinks vaccines cause autism. "I am totally in favor of
vaccines. But I want smaller doses over a longer period of time,"
he explained.
You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes. Blood
coming out of her wherever, Trump said in August 2015, after
enduring tough questions during a debate from Fox News' Megyn
Kelly. Trump continued to attack Kelly on Twitter for months, but
in May 2016, Kelly interviewed him during her first primetime
news special, "Megyn Kelly Presents." This time, the mood was
cordial, as Kelly lobbed softball questions at Trump and Trump
responded with softball answers.
At a March 2016 campaign in Orlando, Florida, Trump asked

attendees to raise their right hands and repeat an oath promising
to vote for him in November, even if there were "hurricanes or
whatever" on Election Day. They did. While critics said the mass
ritual evoked Nazi Germany, Trump continued to perform it at
subsequent rallies.
In May 2005, Trump University launched as a completely online
enterprise that offered students online courses for $300 each. In
September of that year, Trump participated in a live audio-only
webcast entitled "The Trump Way to Wealth" that more than 2000
people paid $249 to access. "Love what you do," Trump
counseled these students. "Never, ever quit."
Trump says he likes to eat at McDonald's, in part because they
keep their restaurants very clean. When CNN's Anderson Cooper
asked Trump what he likes to eat at the chain, Trump said he
often orders the "Fish Delight." While no such item exists,
McDonald's does sell a Filet-o-Fish sandwich.
According to climate change researcher John Cook,

approximately 97 percent of actively publishing climate scientists
agree that "climate-warming trends over the past century are
extremely likely due to human activities." But who are you going
to believe - Trump or a bunch of meteorogically correct
scientists?
In January 2016, Trump held a fundraiser for veterans'
organizations and announced more than $6 million had been
pledged, including a $1 million donation he made himself. In April,
the Wall Street Journal followed up with 19 of the 22 groups that
the Trump campaign had identified as prospective recipients and
found they'd received "roughly $2.4 million of the estimated $6
million..." Over the next month, Trump complained about the
media's coverage of his altruism, including ongoing questions
about his own alleged $1 million donation. On May 24, Trump
signed a check for $1 million and gave it to the Marine Corps -
Law Enforcement Foundation.
According to Trump, Mitt Romney begged for Trump's support
during the 2012 presidential election campaign. "You can see
how loyal he was, he was begging for my endorsement," Trump
exclaimed during a campaign speech in March 2016. "I could
have said, 'Drop to your knees!' and he would have dropped to
his knees."
Trump opened his second Atlantic City casino, Trump's Castle, in

1985. In his 1991 book, Trumped!, former Trump Organization
casino executive John R. O'Donnell reports that the Castle
"recorded a $3 million net loss" in 1988 and a $6.7 million net
loss in 1989. When Trump was unable to make an interest
payment on the Castle's mortgage in 1990, his father Fred bought
$3.5 million in chips from the casino, giving it enough cash on
hand to make its payment. Because this transaction ran afoul of
state gaming regulations, Trump's Castle was fined $30,000.
If I become president, the era of nation-building will be ended,

Trump said at an August 2016 campaign event in Youngstown,
Ohio. On other occasions, Trump has said that countries where
the U.S. maintains overseas military bases, like Japan and South
Korea, and countries that participate in NATO, must either pay the
U.S. more for military defense or shoulder more of their
responsibilities themselves.
In 2000, Trump secretly funded newspaper ads decrying the St.
Regis Mohawk Indians. The tribe wanted to build a casino in the
Catskills, an effort Trump felt would take away business from his
Atlantic City casinos. After state regulators charged Trump with
failing to disclose his role in funding the ads. Trump and his
business associates were compelled to pay $250,000 in fines and
issue a public apology.
In March 2016, Trump called NATO "obsolete" and "extremely

expensive." Traditionally, an attack on any NATO country is
considered an attack on all. But when Trump was asked if he
would honor that commitment if Russia attacked a NATO
member, he said he would do so only if the country under attack
"had fulfilled their obligations to us." According to a non-binding
agreement, NATO members should devote at least 2 percent of
their GDP to defense expenditures, but only 4 of NATO's 28
members do so. According to the Washington Post, the U.S.
devotes 3.7 percent of its GDP to annual defense expenditures,
and spends around $500 million a year on direct NATO support.
Russia, if you're listening, I hope you're able to find the 30,000
[Hillary Clinton] emails that are missing, Trump said in an August
2016 news conference. "I think you will probably be rwarded
mightily by our press."
In a 1990 Vanity Fair article, Trump explained that there are

essentially two kinds of people in the world: the "real public" who
loves him, and "New York society horseshit," who does not.
In a May 2016 Fox News interview, Trump attempted to establish
his foreign policy expertise and deep knowledge of Russia by
explaining that he'd recently organized "a major event" there - the
Miss Universe contest. The experience, he said, allowed him to
determine that Russia wants to be "friendly with the United
States." If Trump is elected president, will swimsuit diplomacy
emerge as a major part of his foreign policy toolkit? Will he try to
persuade Saudi Arabia to liveralize its prohibitions against
pageants? We do not know.
In March 2016, Scott Baio, former star of "Joanie Loves Chachi"
and "Charles in Charge," announced that he was siding with
Donald Trump over harder-to-comprehend politicians like Ted
Cruz or John Kasich. Why exactly? "It's very simple, because
when he speaks I understand him," Baio explained.
In 1984, Trump told the New York Times he could have bought
the Dallas Cowboys for $40 to $60 million. "But it's established
and you would just see it move laterally. Not enough to create
there," he said. Instead, he bought a USFL team, the New Jersey
Generals, for less than $10 million. "I feel sorry for the poor guy
who is going to buy the Dallas Cowboys. It's a no-win situation for
him, because if he wins, well, so what, they've won thorugh the
years, and if he loses, which seems likely because they're having
torubles, he'll be known to the world as a loser." The USFL folded
in 1986. Bum Bright bought the Cowboys in 1984 for $85 million,
then sold it to Jerry Jones in 1989 for $140 million. In 2015, the
Cowboys were still owned by Jerry Jones and valued at $4 billion.
Poor guy!
At an August 2016 campaign event in Virginia, a baby started
get the baby out of here."
In July 2016, Silicon Valley entrepreneur and investor Peter Thiel

praised Trump at the Republican National Convention. "He is a
buidler, and it's time to rebuild America," Thiel exclaimed, before
invoking landmak U.S. technology breakthroughs like the Apollo
program. To ressurect this tradition of national innovation, Trump
would like to build a large wall.
In a March 2016 campaign event, Trump mused that if abortion

was banned in the U.S., there should be "some form of
punishment" for women who obtained them. Later, he racanted
the statement.
After Dixie Chicks singer Natalie Maines spoke out against
President George W. Bush at a concert shortly before the Iraq
War began, radio stations dropped the group from playlists,
sponsors dropped them, and supporters of the war organized
boycotts against them.
Finally, no family will have to pay the death tax, Trump promised
in an August 2016 speech he gave in Detroit, Michigan.
"American workers have paid taxes their whole lives, and they
should not be taxed again at death -- it's just plain wrong." In
2016, the estate tax applied only to estates with combined assets
exceeding $5.45 million.
Rectal feeding is a technique that the CIA describes as a

"medical prcedure," but which critics have likened to a "variation
on a medieval form of torture in which the intestines were swollen
up with fluid in order to cause pain." Trump has promised that he
will, as President, subject enemy detainees to "a lot more than
waterboarding." Rectal feeding is one potential tactic at his
disposal.
At a May 2016 campaign event in Bismark, North Dakota, Trump

promised to "cancel the Paris Climate Agreement and stop all
payments of U.S. tax dollars to U.N. global warming programs."
Tired of aimless, meandering facials that don’t set clearly defined

goals? Trump Hotels spas offer "results-driven facials." A $250
"Dermal Quench" uses "hyperbaric pressure" to deliver "healthier
and younger-looking skin….right before a special event, after jet
lag or whenever an amazing glow is desired."
For a video skit shown at a New York City media event in 2000,
Mayor Rudy Giuliani donned a blonde wig and a lavender gown.
Trump co-stars in the skit. When he leans toward Giuliani to sniff
his perfume, he can't resist giving the Mayor a little peck on his
ample bosom.
While Trump hero Ronald Reagan famously dubbed the Soviet
Union the "Evil Empire," Trump thinks Russia is maybe okay,
despite its conflicts with Ukraine and annexation of Crimea.
"Wouldn't it be nice if we actually got along, as an example, with
Russia?" he told the New York Times in July 2016.
In July 2016, WikiLeaks published 20,000 hacked emails from the
Democratic National Committee's computers. In the wake of the
release, ThreatConnect, a security research consultant,
concluded that the hack was a "Russian propaganda effort."
Trump's raw and unfiltered "Let Trump be Trump" authenticity on
Twitter plays a major role in his populist appeal. But on at least
three occasions when tweets appearing in the official
@realdonaldtrump tweet-streams have drawn criticism, Trump
has blamed the posts on "young interns" or other campaign
staffers.
Sea Whip is a coral-like multicellular organism found in the
Caribbean Sea and other ocean waters. They will put its extract
on your face at Trump Hotels spas, as part of the "Men's
Recovery Facial."
At a December 2015 campaign event in Grand Rapids, Michigan,
Trump exclaimed that Hillary Clinton "got schlonged" by Barack
Obama in 2008. While "schlong" is Yiddish slang for "penis,"
Trump insisted that the word "schlonged" is "not vulgar," and that
he'd merely intended to convey that Clinton had been "beaten
badly."
I want surveillance of certain [U.S.] mosques if that's OK, Trump

exclaimed at a November 2015 campaign event in Birmingham,
Alabama. That same month, he said he would "Strongly consider"
shutting down U.S. mosques and would also "implement" a
national database for Muslims. "There should be a lot of systems,
beyond databases. We should have a lot of systems," he told an
NBC News reporter during a campaign event in Newtonm Iowa.
According to Politico, Trump is a "notorious germaphobe" who

doesn't like shaking hands. In a 2011 article that appeared in that
publication, Trump ally Roger Stone suggested that Trump's well-
established media profile meant he would not have to press the
flesh on the campaign trail like traditional candidates. This, Stone
asserted, would save him from having to "shake hands among
the pig farmers."
Known as "America's Toughest Sheriff," Arpaio has been Sheriff
of Maricopa County, Arizona since 1993. In 2010, Arpaio created
a volunteer citizens posse to combat illegal immigration. Its
members included actors Steven Seagal and Low "The Hulk"
Ferrigno. According to Politico.com, Arpaio describes Trump as
his "one true political soulmate."
In The Art of the Deal, Trump claimed his grandfather emigrated

to the U.S. from Sweden. In 2015, Buzzfeed published U.S.
government census and immigration records from 1904, 1910,
and 1915 that identify the birthplace of Trump's grandfather and
great-grandfather as Germany.
In 2008, Trump failed to make payments to Deutsche Bank on a

$640 million loan he'd used to build Trump International Hotel &
Tower in Chicago, Illinois. Arguing that the global financial crisis
had created extraordinary conditions, Trump sued the bank for
expecting him to continue to make payments on the money he'd
borrowed. Deutsche Bank countersued; the two parties reached
an out-of-court settlement in 2009.
In his Republican National Convention speech in July 2016,
Trump promised to restore "law and order" in the U.S. and bring
an end to "The crime and violence that today afflicts our nation."
According to FBI statistics, violent crime rates dropped by more
than half over the last two decades, going from 747.1 offenses
per 100,000 inhabitants in 1993 to 365.5 in 2014.
At a November 2015 campaign event in Fort Dodge, Iowa, Trump

characterized Abraham Lincoln as a "great orator," then had
second thoughts. "They say," he elaborated. "Who the hell knows.
I mean, I didn't get to watch him."
Serge Kovaleski, a New York Times reporter, has arthrogryposis,

a congenital physical condition that affects joint movements and
causes Kovaleski to move his arms and hands in atypical ways.
"You ought to see the guy," Trump said during a November 2015
campaign appearance, while talking about an article Kovaleski
had written in 2001. Then, Trump flailed his arms and hands
around in jerky fashion. Afterward, Trump insisted that he wasn't
trying to deliberately mock Kovaleski's condition, and that he had
"no idea who this reporter, Serge Kovaleski [sic], is, what he looks
like or his level of intelligence." Kovaleski, in turn, explained that
he had met Trump at least a dozen times when covering him for
the New York Daily News in the late 1980s, that he'd interviewed
Trump in Trump's office, and that the tw2o were on a "first-name
basis for years."
Because Ted Cruz was born in Canada, many individuals and
groups, including Trump, questioned his eligibility to run for
president, which requires that candidates be "natural-born
citizens." In February 2016, Trump threatened to sue Cruz over
this matter. Earlier that month, the Illinois Board of Elections had
ruled in Cruz's favor in response to objections filed by two
citizens. "Cruz was born in Canada to a mother who, at the time
of his birth, was a U.S. citizen," the Board opined. In its
estimation, that qualified him as a "natural born citizen."
In February 2016, Trump retweeted a quote attributed to Italian

dictator Benito Mussolini: "It is better to live one day as a lion than
100 years as a sheep." "I didn't know who said it, but what
difference does it make if it was Mussolini or somebody else - it's
a very good quote," Trump insisted after criticsquestioned his
decision to parrot the sentiments of the father of fascism.
To sanctify the union between Trump and Pence, the Trump
campaign releases a logo that showed a larger-that-average "T"
graphically penetrating a "P". When Internet wags started
animating the logo, the Trump team quickly replaced it with a less
erotic design.
During a March 2016 primary debate, millions of TV viewers saw
what appeared to be a tiny white blob bounce from Ted Cruz's
upper lip to his lower lip, and then disappear into his mouth. Much
Internet conjecture ensued. Popular theories hold that it was (a) a
booger, (b) a crumb), (c) a tiny puff of lint, or (d) a glitch in the
video feed. The mystery remains unsolved.
I think I am much more humble than you would understand,

Trump told 60 Minutes correspondent Lesley Stahl in a July 2016
interview.
I know words, I have the best words, Trump exclaimed at a
December 2015 campaign rally in Hilton Head, South Carolina.
But while this may be true, he often mispells them in tweets.
Trump always goes for quality and winners, and that's why we
assume he likes the top five Commandments. But the bottom five,
which include unnecessarily restrictive prohibitions against
adultery, stealing, and coveting? Those commandments are for
losers!
It is my personal Vietnam. I fell ike a great and very brave soldier,
Trump told Howard Stern in 1997, as the two discussed how
Trump had managed to engage in a very active sex life in New
York City during the 1980s without contracting any STDs. For this,
we award him the Condom of Honor.
In an August 2016 conversation with Fox News host Sean

Hannity, Trump predicted that the "failing New York Times" will be
out of business within a few years. "They don't write good," he
elaborated.
I would build a great wall, and nobody builds walls better than
me, believe me, and I'll build themvery inexpensively. I will build a
great, great wall on our southern border And I will have Mexico
pay for that wall, Trump exclaimed in June 2016, as he
announced his presidential candidacy."
In March 2016, a Breitbart.com reporter named Michelle Fields

wrote that Trump's then-campaign manager Corey Lewandowski
"aggressively tried to pull [her] to the ground" during a campaign
event in Jupiter, Florida. While Lewandowski tweeted to Fields
that she was "delusional" and that he "never touched" her, video
footage subsequently showed him grabbing her arm.
Thank you Idaho! I love your potatoes - nobody grows them
better. As President, I will protect your market, Trump tweeted in
March 2016. While Canada is the largest exporter of potatoes to
the U.S. market, the U.S. potato industry has enjoyed a trade
surplus in potatoes and potato products in recent years. In a 2016
report, The Idaho Department of Agriculture notes that "one in
three acres of American farms is planted for sales overseas and
32% of gross farms income comes from exports."
In an August 2016 campaign event in Youngstown, Ohio, Trump
suggested that visa applications would have to pass an
idealogical "test" on American values before entering the U.S.
Hillary wants to abolish, essentially abolish, the Second
Amendment… Trump erroneously claimed at an August 2016
campaign event in Wilmington, North Carolina. "If she gets to pick
her judges, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second
Amendment people, maybe ther is, I don't know." Afterwards,
Trump's remarks were widely interpreted as a call for violence
against Clinton. According to the Trump campaign, Trump was
simply praising the "amazing spirit" of gun advocates.
At a March 2016 campaign event in Youngstown, Ohio, Trump

exclaimed, "Saddam Hussein was not a good person. Who
cares? He was very good at killing terrorists."
In 2011, Trump told the New York Post that his fingers, widely
believed to be short and thick, are in fact "long and beautiful."
When it comes time to erect a Trump-themed obelisk on the
National Mall, we know exactly what he will call it.
In February 2016, former Ku Klux Klan Grand Wizard David Duke
endorsed Trup for President. When CNN's Jake Tapper asked
Trump to "unequivocally" condemn Duke, Trump replied, "I don't
know anything about David Duke, Trump replied, "I don't know
anything about David Duke. Okay? I don't know anything about
what you're even talking about with whtie supremacy or white
supremacists. So, I don't know. I don't know, did he endorse me
or what's going on, because, you know, I know nothing about
Davbid Duke.
Eric and Donald Jr., the millionaire sons of a millionaire son, have
inherited their dad's "rigged system" rhetoric, which they now use
in speeches.
New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady has called Trump

"a good friend" and keeps a Make America Great Again cap in his
locker. Trump, in turn, came to Brady's defense in April 2016,
when the United States Court of Appeals reinstated a four-game
suspension the NFL levied against Brady for using under-inflated
footballs in the 2015 AFC Championship Game. "Leave Tom
Brady alone!" Trump exclaimed at a campaign event in Rhode
Island.
For more than a decade, The Apprentice presented Trump as a

decisive leader with absolute authority. His unchecked power to
fire people at will led to a new form of reality TV - totalitainment.
As a presidential candidate, Trump has continued to present
himself as a omnipotent figure who can single-handedly
determine the fate of the nation. "Nobody knows the system
better than me... which is why I alone can fix it!" he exclaimed at
the Republican National Convention. The crowd ate it up.
After Khizr Khan, father of a U.S. Army captain killed in the Iraq
War, condemned Trump's anti-Muslim rhetoric in a speech Khan
gave at the Democratic National Convention, Trump and his
campaign spent days disparaging Khan and his wife.
Trump's running mate, Mike Pence, has been married to his wife
Karen for 31 years. Trump has also been married for 31 years -
but it took him three wives (and 39 years) to achieve that mark.
In 2009, Trump licensed the use of his name to an already-

existing multi-level marketing company, Ideal Health. Rebranding
itself as The Trump Network, the company sold urine tests,
customized vitamins, nutritional supplements, and relisted "helth
and wellness" products, including Snazzle Puffs. Trump's
licensing deal with The Trump Network's owners ended in 2011
and was not renewed. Today, all that is left of The Trump Network
are memories, failed dreams, and perhaps a box or two of
Snazzle Puffs.
There's no such thing as Trump University Montessori School.
Trump, who says he has "never had a glass of alcohol,"
introduced a like of vodkas in 2006. It received so little interest
from consumers that no one is sure when it disappeared from the
market, but estimates put its demise at around 2011. Now, empty
bottles of its various flavors are for sale on eBay. To make a
Trump Vodka Libertini, wave an empty bottle of Trump Vodka
around while loudly exclaiming that you're about to make the best
cocktail ever. Then, fill a chilled martini glass with Coca Cola.
Viola! You just mad a Trump Vodka libertini.
In May 2016, the Washington Post published a 1991 recording of
an ostensible Trump publicist named John Miller who sounds
remarkably like Trump himself. According to numerous sources,
Trump regularly called reporters from the 1970s through 1990s
and pretended to be a publicist named "John Miller" or "John
Barron." "Miller" and "Barron" often called reporters to boast
about Trump's prowess with actresses and models.
On Cinco de Mayo, Trump tweeted a photo of himself eating a

taco bowl, which he claimed was made at the Trump Tower Grill.
When reporters followed up, they found no mention of "taco
bowls" on the Trump Tower Grill's menu. Further digging revealed
that another restaurant in Trump Tower - the Trump Café - did
periodically offer a dish called the "Taco Fiesta!" Thus, the Cafe
was widely credited as being the source of the otherwise
undocumented taco bowl.
After Britons voted to leave the European Union in June 2016,

Trump called it a "great thing." Then, he attributed the vote to a
demand for stronger borders and mused that the historic drop in
value of the pound sterling that followed could bring more
international vacationers to his golf course in Scotland.
In November 2012, Trump tweeted that UNICEF's CEO was
"driving around in a Rolls." "sorry no rolls; only a prius," the
UNICEF CEO tweeted back, "fire your fact checker and help us
save kids lives."
As of August 2016, Trump has still not released his tax returns.
Throughout the primaries, Mr. Trump was pummeled in the Book

of Mormon Belt, wrote McKay Coppins in a New York Times op-
ed. "In Utah, he suffered one of his worst defeats, finishing dead
last with a paltry 14 percent of the vote."
For decades, U.S. Policy has discouraged Japan from pursuing
nuclear weapons. In a March 2016 interview with the New York
Times, Trump suggested that perhaps Japan should develop its
own nuclear arsenal, if that's what it needs to defend itself without
U.S. support.
In January 2016, an armed militia group that occupied federal

buildings in Oregon identified itself as "Citizens for Constitutional
Freedom." On the Internet, commenters quickly dubbed them
Vanila ISIS. Trump condemned the groups' efforts. "You have to
maintain law and order, no matter what," he told The Hill. Jerry
DeLemus, co-chair of the Trump for President Veterans Coalition,
a group founded by the Trup campaign, visited the Oregon
occupation and told Reuters the occupiers were enjoying "great
success." According to Reuters, DeLemus "made the visit on his
own rather than as a representative of Trump's campaign."
Trump hates windmills and has engaged in a long battle with the
Scottish government to block it from allowing the installation of an
11-inch turbine wind farm off the coast of Aberdeen. Trump owns
a golf course there, and he believes the turbines will spoil his
biews.
Marketed by a company called Blue Q, Vladimir Pootin' Lavatory
Mist is a real product.
Trump has called for tax cuts that experts predict will reduce
governemnt revenues by $9.5 trillion over ten years. But, Trump
also wants to increase spending on the military, infrastructures,
and mass deportation, all without touching Medicare and Social
Security. Still, he says he will deliver a balanced budget by cutting
"waste, fraud, and abuse." According to the National Review, a
Government Accounting Office analysis showed that only $125
billion in spending in 2014 could be chalked up to "improper
payments," aka "waste, fraud, and abuse."
You can get that baby out of here, Trump exclaimed at an August
2016 campaign event after the baby had started to cry. On a
similar note, Trump believes that "anchor babies," aka babies
who are born in the U.S. to undocumented parents, should be
deported, even though, as the 14th Amendment declares, U.S.
birth confers citizenship. On this stance Trump is unyielding --
even well-behaved anchor babies must go!
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What is a true best man always up for?
What made the whole wedding so awkward?
What was the most popular dinner buffet item?
What will heal your emotional scars?
What will you still enjoy doing together when you celebrate your fiftieth wedding anniversary?
What's the biggest source of tension in your relationship?
What's this season's hottest wedding fashion trend?
What's your favorite date night activity?
A bunch of naked bridesmaids.

A clothing-optional ceremony.
A cocaine-fueled lip synch battle.
A crisp, manly scent.
A dowry of fifteen fine goats.
A four million-dollar fireworks display.
A fragrant vagina.
A fried calamari cockring. With sauce.
A gentlemanly ball-slapping contest.
A giant, frosted pot brownie.
A harmless crush on a slutty coworker.
A honeymoon in your parents' basement.
A monkey penis.
A party bus full of Kardashians.
A rustic barn that reeks of horse.
A sensible pantsuit.
A visibly engorged clitoris.
A whimsical Ashley Madison profile.
Active Bitch Face.
All the fly honeys up in your business.
An uncomfortable new sex position you just made up.
Anal sex at least twice a week.
Bacon-worshipping pagans.
Being a little overzealous with the butt-smacking.
Being generally bad at life.
Blood-stained custom cocktail napkins.
Bringing booty back.
Burning all the bridal magazines.
Celebrity Wedding Obsession Syndrome.
Coming home drunk and setting the cat on fire.
Constantly undermining each other.
Dirty spooning.
Eloping to a Himalayan mountaintop.
Enormous phallic ice sculptures
Excessive cleavage.
Extra herpes.
Feeling like a porn star 24/7.
Fellating the videographer.
Flowers made out of raw meat.
Getting kicked right in the ovaries.
Giving up all your hopes and dreams.
Going to bed angry.
Golden Girls re-runs.
Hot sex tips from Bill Cosby.
Improper use of a “selfie-stick.”
Installing a stripper pole in the living room.
Keeping your Tinder account. Just in case.
Losing one's mind over a pair of shoes.
Loud and unrepentant farting.
Marrying a mermaid.
More blow jobs.
Never quite being good enough.
Origami vulva wedding favors.
Passing out the barf bags at the ceremony.
Pats of butter shaped like butt cheeks.
Poor pubic hygiene.
Poor, sad single people.
Pornographic cake toppers.
Punching the flower girl.
Puppies wearing bowties and shitting everywhere.
Random webcam hook-ups.
Relentlessly insisting that you were right all along.
Riding a fucking unicorn down the aisle.
Sacrificial virgins.
Saying “I'm sorry you feel that way.”
Scheduling some sexy time on your Google calendar.
Semi-annual spousal performance reviews.
Sexual Death.
Sexy sister wives.
Shooting semi-automatic assault rifles into the sunset together.
Showing some nipple.
So much whiny bullshit.
Taking a little “me time.”
Taking some freaking responsibility for things.
That crackhead photographer.
The 8-hour orgasm.
The divorce emoji.
The floating, disembodied heads of your ex-lovers.
Traces of fecal matter.
Twelve screaming toddlers high on cake.
Two scandalized grandmothers dropping dead.
Using the bouquet as a loincloth.
Vajazzling.
Vigorously humping on the dance floor.
Weeping silently in the bathroom.
Humanity Hates Trump: Kickstarter Promo Cards
These cards were given exclusively to Kickstarter backers, even though the Kickstarter campaign was ended due
to the CAH IP challenge.
Accidentally referring to "the gays".

Hillary's private email server filled with "Government Classified Animal Porn".
Not NOT supporting the KKK.
Trumps fatherly love for his daughters "bangin' body.
Vladimir Putin making love to a Siberian tiger.
Similar to the base game, these cards are smaller than standard playing card size. The cards are 2' x 3', and are
therefore not recommended for purchase for combining into a CAH set.
These cards include footnotes denoting who suggested the card for this set. That information is presented in the
Footnote column for those that wish to have it.
______ builds trust between friends.

______ is a dying art form.
______ is a surprisingly tasty pizza topping.
______ is the secret ingredient in Coca-Cola®.
Dear Diary, my parents have no idea I spent the day ______.
Elect me school president and I will get rid of ______ forever!
Genius is one percent inspiration and ninety-nine percent ______.
I found a mysterious clump of Play-Doh® in the shape of ______.
I had a dream Wonder Woman™ and I were ______.
I think I might nickname myself ______.
I'm going to name my band ______.
It's a good thing I am allergic to ______.

Some days you wake up with an unexplainable desire for ______.
The day I woke uyp and realized I was too old for ______.
The hills are alive with the sound of ______.
The sweet sensation of ______.
What is Grandpa hiding from us?
When I'm pooping, I like to think about ______.
When the bully asked for my lunch money, I gave 'em ______ instead.
Why hasn't anyone created an emoji for ______.
A block of cheese wearing sunglasses.

A chicken nugget eating contest.
A chunk of earwax on a toothpick.
A hard-boiled egg.
A lifetime supply of Polaroid film.
A Minecraft® marathon.
A scientific study stating that too much sugar is good for you.
A traumatic case of diarrhea.
Accidentally calling 911.
Acrobatic street-sign twirling with awesome dance moves.
Afternoons filled with binge-watching on Netflix®.
All you can eat mac and cheese.
An Oompa Loompa attack.
Bacon.
Becoming a vegetarian.
Becoming the celebrity spokesperson for Bubblcious® Bubble Gum.
Belly dancers.
Blowing birthday money on arcade games.
Buffalo wing breath.
Cookies and Cream.
Dabbing like there's no tomorrow.
Death by teddy bear.

Eating Bambi for dinner.
Fidget spinner spinners everywhere uniting in world peace.
Getting the chills when you pee.

Having the coolest Pokémon® cards.
Hiding the remote control from your dad on Super Bowl® Sunday.
Instant gratification.
Making superhero movies for a living.
Milking a cow with your toes.
Minions muttering mumbled messages madly at midnight.
My father snoring like a sick elephant all night.
Night vision goggles.
Nodding like you're listening.
Passing serious gas in a tub to create the jacuzzi effect.
Pronouncing words wrong.
Putting your hands in the air like you just don't care.
Refusing to wear deodorant.
Running out of toilet paper after the most satisfying dump.
Scaring the bejeezus out of your Mom as she turns the corner.
Secretly picking your nose in class.
Snorting when you laugh.
Studying for 1000 years.
Sumo wrestler thongs.
Taking tests.
Talking like a drunk pirate.
That kid who always stands too close.
That teacher who needs a serious makeover.
The know-it-all kid next door.
The stress you feel when you haven't doen homework.
Too cool for school ninja moves.
Uncomfortable elevator silence.
Urkel.
Used dental floss.
Whatever hot dogs are made of.

Winning every spelling bee contest.
Winning the gazillion dollar lottery.
Wolverine® hands.
Your dad singing "Wicked the Musical" showtunes.
Your weird dad who likes to play hopscotch.

That's What She Said Game - First Expansion
https://thatswhatshesaidgame.com/
The #1 request from our fans is finally here! The first expansion to That's What She Said Game!!
NOTE: Cards appear here as they are on the cards. Any errors are theirs.
after 24 hours in labor, my wife grabbed the nurse by the throat and yelled ______
after I confessed, the priest told me ______
after learning Darth Vader was his father, Luke said ______
after the crash, the cop picked up the driver's phone and the last text message said ______
Alex, I'll take ______ for $200
at my friend's sex toy party, she insisted I buy the item called _______
Donald Trump often calls Ivanka just to tell her ______
Donald Trump's Twitter was taken away when he tweeted _______
every now and then I secretly wish my husband would say ______
every time I look at a cucumber I think ______
how I describe my first time having sex ______
I felt a little flattered when the gynecologist remarked ______
I gave the pizza boy the wrong idea when I opened the door and said ______
I knew my gym shorts were too tight when I heard _______
I left the waitress a bigger tip when she scribbled on my receipt ______
I thought it was wrong when my manager was eating a banana and blurted _______
I was attracted to your brother until he said ______
I was chilling with Snoop Dogg when he rolled a joint and said ______
I was surprised to hear the TV evangelist preach ______
I was surprised when my therapist put his arm around me and said ______
I wrote back "new phone, who dis?" when I got this message _______
I've been afraid of clowns ever since I heard one say ______
if Michelle Obama runs for president in 2020, her slogan will be ______
in the morgue, the detective turned to his partner and chuckled ______
in the produce section, an old man picked up an avocado, squeezed it and whispered ______
my daughter had a sleepover and I was shocked when I overheard ______
my father-in-law put his clammy hand on my knee and whispered _______
my new favorite happy hour drink is called _______
my partner and I are trying to be more experimental, our safe phrase is _______
my research paper on the human body is titled _______
Santa came down the chimney, took one look at my mom and said _______
the 40 year old virgin entered his first ever strip club and proclaimed ______
the first thing Helen Keller learned to sign was ______
the horse that won the Kentucky Derby last year was called _______
the Karma Sutra position I'd like to try is called ______
the last thing I remember the dentist telling me was _______
the motto on our family crest translates to _______
the name of Britney Spears's next Las Vegas show is ______
the only thing I can say well in a British accent is ______
the parent-teacher conference ended when my ex-wife said ______
the slogan for my new plumbing company is ______
the titled of my rejected TED talk was _______
there was a recall on Barbie when she was accidentally programmed to say ______
things Justin Bieber sings when he climaxes ______
things you should never whisper while slapping a teammate on the ass ______
under my yearbook photo it says ______
when coming out to my parents, I plucked up the courage to say ______
when I'm having a bad day, I look in the mirror and tell myself ______
when my chihuahua barks at other dogs, I magine she's saying ______
while basting the turkey, my aunt Harriet whispered to my boyfriend ______
a good pre-game stretch is a must

blink once for yes, twice for no
can I kiss it and make it better?
can you sign my ball?
can you swallow a sword?
getting rear-ended only hurts at high speed
here comes the climax!
I always drink the pickle juice
I could get behind that
I enjoy watching the train pull into the station
I wish my dad did this with me
I'd love a milk mustache
I'm all fingers and tongues
I'm the fun mom!
I've never gone down under
if you clear out your junk, we can play in the back
it didn't get hard until I went vegan
it's finger lickin' good
it's going to be nut to butt for the rest of the night
it's hump day!
it's not okay to double dip
leave the cash on the night stand
let's double the meat
looks like shag carpet is making a comeback
my honey is the best on the market
once you go black you never go back
push it, push it real good!
ready or not, here I come!
shake those pom poms!
should we invite your sister?
should we put down a tarp first?
spread your legs and put your hands on your head
that tight end is now a wide receiver
the boys are back in town
the cream rises to the top
there's a sucker born every minute
they don't pay me enough for this
this doesn't pass the sniff test
this rooster crows at the crack of dawn
twist it, bop it, pull it
wanna know how I got these scars?
welcome to the Forbidden Forest
you can look but don't touch
you have to try my crab dip
you must be on the naughty list
you put your left foot in, you put your left foot out
you'll never guess what's for dessert
you're not supposed to chew on that
your hose has a kink in it
your mother raised a beautiful succulent
Trumped UpCards: Alternative Facts Expansion Pack
https://www.amazon.com/Trumped-Up-Cards-Alternative-Facts/dp/B06XYFCPX9/
56 cards, printed on premium linen card stock, in a family-owned factory in the U.S.A., by amazing American card-
workers. Includes 3 blank question cards and 3 blank answer cards – so now you can make your own cards about that
insane thing Trump tweeted yesterday. Nice! Beautifully footnoted with real facts, quotes, and stats from the dishonest
and disgusting news media. Despite the constant negative press covfefe.
EDITOR NOTES: Many of the cards in this set contain footnotes that do not affect game play that explain the basis for
the phrase on the cards. Those footnotes are presented in the Footnote column for those that wish to have them.
This set also has "mechanic" cards which the game calls "Trump Cards". Instructions for these cards are presented in
the Footnote column. Also, there are four of each of the "Trump Cards", so each card is listed individually to account
for the number of cards in set (in other words, the duplication is intentional).
Last, the game introduces an alternative way to end the game. The Prompt Cards have a letter on the back of the card
in the lower left hand corner. If players can collect enough prompt cards to spell "VOTE", they win the game. However,
if another player is able to "VETO", the game continues. Those letters are presented in the Letter column for those that
wish to have them.
Along with millions of so-called paid protesters, what else is fueling the Trump Economy?
As a show of loyalty to America, every foreign visitor must burn a science book and pledge allegiance to _____.
As Abraham Lincoln famously declared, "The first casualty in the War on the Media is the truth. The second is _____."
Step one: Move on the Constitution like a bitch. Step two: _____.
To protect the integrity of our democracy, voting booths in 2020 will be monitored by ______.
Use two White Cards to compose a Trump-like tweet:
______,
______.
Not nice!
What does the Russians' kompromat on President Trump consist of?
What is President Trump's favorite new White House amenity?
Who will the Russians hack to help Trump finally win an Emmy?
A beautifully plagiarized Inauguration Cake.
A bust of some guy who might be Frederick T. Douglass.
A fascist loofa-faced shit-gibbon.
A giant statue of two copulating parrots.
A tiny fistful of hair loss pills.
An Executive Order that requires every American citizen to apologize to the President.
Breaking diplomatic ties with California.
Full tenure at Trump University.

Golden showerheads.
Government subsidies for pre-exiting factories.
Icky leaks.
International Holocaust Revision Day.
Invading Chicago.
Ivanka Trump's new line of working-mom pussyhats.
Making the ACLU great again.
Melania's diary.
Melissa McCarthyism.
Poet Laureate Sean Hannity.

President Snowflake.
Putting Meryl Streep ON NOTICE.
Record levels of grizzly bear crime.
Repealing Obama's drapes on Day 1.
Sean Spicer's gaping and seeping wherever.
Separation of merch and state.
Shocking Inauguration Day photos of the partially nude National Mall.
The 94 million eligible voters who didn't vote.

The Hamilton Massacre.
The Lincoln Bedpan.
The National Arnold Schwarzenegger Prayer Breakfast.
The Nuclear Winter White House.
The so-called National Park Service.
The soft sensuality of detaining infants at airports.
The White House Coal Garden.
VERY FAKE BOOBS.

Vlad hombres.
Repeal and replace!
Repeal and replace!
Repeal and replace!
Repeal and replace!

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Wendy Rader
Seattle, WA Prompt
Rex H.
San Deigo, CA Prompt
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Joe P.
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Zander B. Age 11
Special
After President Trump took office, millions of U.S.

citizens demonstrated against him. On multiple
occasions, President Trump and his spokespeople
have characterized these demonstrators as "paid
protestors." In January 2017, a website called
DemandProtest.com ran ads promising to pay
millenials to protest against President Trump. When
Fox News host Tucker Carlson interviewed a
representative of the organization, he concluded, "So,
this is a sham, your company isn't real, your website
is fake, the claims you have made are lies, this is a
hoax." T Prompt
Prompt
We're kidding. As far as we know, Lincoln had a
decent working relationship with CNN, Buzzfeed, and
even the failing New York Times, and never said
anything like the quote we attribute to him above.
According to language scholar Barry Popik, the well-
known saying "The first casualty in war is truth," was
popularized during World War I. E Prompt
In October 2016, the Washington Post reported on a
videotape that captured remarks Donald Trump made
to infotainment correspondent Billy Bush in 2005.
Trump's remarks about grabbing women "by the
pussy" and other lurid commentary shocked and
befuddled the nation. One improbable passage
included the following sentiment: "I moved on her like
a bitch, but I couldn't get there, and she was married." E Prompt
In an October 2016 campaign appearance in
Pennsylvania, Trump advised his supporters to
"watch the polling booths, because I hear too many
stories about Pennsylvania, certain areas. I hear too
many bad stories, and we can't lose an election
because of you know what I'm talking about." After
losing the 2016 popular vote to Hillary Clinton by
more than 3 million votes, Trump reportedly believes
that 3 to 5 million people voted illegally, all against
him. O Prompt
PICK 2 V Prompt
In January 2017, Buzzfeed reported on a dossier
compiled by a former British intelligence officer
retained by Trump's opponentsduring the 2016
election campaign. The dossier makes unverified
allegations that a Russian intelligence agency has
evidence of Trump watching prostitutes "perform a
'golden showers' (urination) show" at the Moscow Ritz
Carlton. U.S. intelligence agencies shared the report
with President Obama, Donald Trump, and other
government officials. President Trump called the
entire dossier "a complete and total fabrication." V Prompt
Prompt
The Emmys are all politics, that's why, despite
nominations, The Apprentice never won--even though
it should have many times over, Trump tweeted in
September 2012. In reality, Emmy voting is in some
ways a more democratic process than presidential
elections. Eligible shows can nominate themselves.
Nominees are voted on in one-person-one-vote
fashion by the Television Academy's 20,000+ voting
members. What that means is that on each of the
nine occasions The Apprentice was nominated for an
Emmy, it lost the popular vote to other shows. O Prompt
Prompt
Repeal and replace? Not always. In the wake of
President Trump's Inauguration festivities, celebrity
baker Duff Goldman noted on Twitter that President
Trump's cake looked exactly like the cake Goldman
had bkaed for President Obama's Inauguration in
2012. Apparently, the Trump Administration
commissioned another bakery to duplicate Obama's
cake. According to CNN, President Trump's cake was
made "mostly of styrofoam." FAKE CAKE! Prompt
At a February 2017 "little breakfast" honoring Black
History Month, Trump recognized the achievements
of Frederick T. Douglass in the following way:
"Frederick Douglass is an example of somebody
who's done an amazing job and is being recognized
more and more, I noticed." Prompt
In February 2017, President Trump threatened to
"destroy the career" of an unnamed Texas State
Senator who was pushing for civil asset forfeiture
reform. In response, a Pennsylvania State Senator
named Daylin Leach tweeted, "Hey
@realDonaldTrump I oppose civil asset forfeiture too!
Why don't you try to destroy my career you fascist,
loofa-faced, shit gibbon!"
In 1996, Donald Trump and his 15-year-old daughter

Ivanka posed for a photo that accompanies a New
York magazine article on Trump. They were sitting on
a statue that appears to depict two parrots having
sex. Response
In a February 2017 interview with the New York
Times, Trump's longtime personal physician, Dr.
Harold Bornstein, revealed that the President take
Propecia, a medication prescribed for hair-loss
prevention. Possible side effects of Propecia include
loss of libido, painful testicles, and depression. Response
Response
In a February 2017 interview with Fox News host Bill
O'Reilly, President Trump called California "out of
control" and threatened to withhold federal funding
from the state. His concern: A bill in the state
legislature that would effectively make it harder for
federal immigration officials to deport undocumented
immigrants. "We give tremendous amounts of money
to California," President Trump exclaimed. According
to a 2016 study published by the state of New York,
California receives around 99 cents in federal speding
for every $1 it pays to the federal government. Response
Response
Response
In November, Indiana manufacturer Carrier
announced that 1000 jobs it had been planning to
move to Mexico would stay in the U.S. In return, the
state of Indiana will give incentives worth about $7
million to Carrier over a 10-year period. After Mike
Pence and Donald Trump publicized this deal, which
they helped negotiate, Carrier clarified that it would
be keeping only 800 jobs in the U.S. Response
Response
On International Holocaust Remembrance Day,
President Trump issued a statement urging the world
to "remember and honor the victims, survivors,
heroes of the Holocaust," without mentioning the six
million Jews the Nazis killed. White House officials
explained that this omission was intentional. It was an
effort, they said, to make the President's statement
"inclusive." Response
On numerous occasions, President Trump has said
federal intervention may be necessary to combat
crime in Chicago. "If Chicago doesn't fix the horrible
'carnage' going on, 228 shootings in 2017 with 42
killings (up 24% from 2016), I will send in the Feds!"
he tweeted in January 2017. Response
What can Ivanka do to reclaim her customer base as
Nordstrom, Neiman Marcus, Jet.com, and other
retailers distance themselves from her clothing line?
How about a new line of pussyhats for working moms
who can't find time to knit their own? Response
In the 48 hours after President Trump issued an
Executive Order in January 2017 preventing foreign
visitors from seven Muslim-majority countries from
entering the U.S., more than 350,000 people made
online donations to the ACLU totaling $24 million.
USA Today reported that the ACLU "typically raises
about $4 million online in a year." Response
Response
Response
Juan Felipe Herrera, appointed in 2015, is the current
U.S. Poet Laureate. In a February 2017 appearance
at Emory University in Atlanta, he characterized the
U.S. border control infrastructure as a "vicious
machine." Herrera's term ends in May 2017, at which
point the Librarian of COngress will likely appoint a
new Poet Laureate. (Poet Laureates are generally
limited to two terms, and Herrera is on his second.) Response
According to the Guardian, using "snowflake" as a
perjorative first became popular on "American
campuses as a means of criticising the
hypersensitivity of a younger generation." Throughout
the 2016 election, conservative news sites and
individuals used it to critique liberals and progressives
offended by Donald Trump's politically incorrect
pronouncements. Meanwhile, President Trump and
his official spokespeople have repeatedly expressed
outrage and demanded apologies from reporters, the
CIA, the cast of Hamilton, and many others for their
"rude" and "disrespectful" behavior. Response
In February 2017, President Trump tweeted that "Iran
has been formally PUT ON NOTICE for firing a
ballistic missile." In contrast, no formal sanctions were
imposed on Meryl Streep after the actress critiqued
President Trump (without actually naming him) during
a speech at the Golden GLobes in January 2017. Response
During Senate confirmation hearings, Secretary of
Education nominee Betsy DeVos was asked if she
believed guns "had any place in or around schools."
Citing a school in Wyoming, DeVos replied, "I would
imagine that there is probably a gun in the school to
protect from potential grizzlies." DeVos confirmed. Response
In one of his first presidential actions, Donald Trump
repealed and replaced the red drapes that hung in
the Oval Office during President Obama's tenure.
According to news sources, the gold drapes that now
decorate Trump's Oval Office date from the Clinton
Administration. Then, Hillary Clinton reportedly picked
them out. Response
In a January 2017 appearance on Fox News, Trump
staffer Kellyanne Conway complained about the
harsh coverage the Trump Administration receives
from the news media. "If you are part of team Trump,
you walk around with these gaping, seeping wounds
every single day," she exclaimed. Sean SPicer is the
White House Press Secretary. Response
Go buy Ivanka's stuff! exclaimed Kellyanne Conway,
President Trump's Senior Counselor, in a February
2017 appearance on Fox News. In the estimation of
Elijah Cummings, ranking member of the House
Oversight Committee, Conway's plug was "a textbook
violation of government ethics laws and regulations
enacted to prevent the abuse of an employee's
government position." Response
President Trump estimated his Inauguration crowd at
the National Mall at "a million and a half." White
House Press Secretary Sean Spicer said it was at
least 720,000. According to The Intercept,
"Photographic evidence, webcam images and video
shot by reporters who observed the address from a
media tent at the back of the crowd show conclusively
that the area of the mall around the tent and in front
of the Washington Monument was largely empty." Response
Response
In at least three interviews, Trump staffer Kellyanne
Conway referenced the "Bowling Green Massacre."
What was she talking about? In 2011, two Iraqi
refugees were arrested in Bowling Green, Kentucky
and charged with attempting to send guns and money
to Al Qaeda in Iraq. But no one was massacred or
even harmed. Instead, the FBI sold the men
inoperable weapons as part of a sting operation that
led to their arrest. The Hamilton Massacre, in which
Broadway actors civilly addressed VIce President
Mike Pence in the safe and special place of the
theater? That really happened. Response
Response
At the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC,
an event intended to emphasize the importance of
prayer and its role in U.S. government, President
Trump invited fellow believers to join him in petitioning
the Lord on behalf of new Apprentice host Arnold
Schwarzenegger. "I want to just pray for Arnold, if we
can, for those ratings," the President exclaimed. Response
President Trump refers to his Mar-a-Lago estate as

the "Winter White House." Response
In January 2017, a Twitter account associated with
the National Park Service retweeted photos
comparing President Trump's 2017 Inauguration
crowd to President Obama's 2009 crowd.
Subsequently, the Department of the Interior directed
all its bureaus, including the NPS, to "immediately
cease use of governemt Twitter accounts until further
notice." After this happened, multiple "rogue" National
Park Service Twitter accounts, ostensibly operated by
NPS employees, began to tweet. Eventually the
official NPS Twitter accounts were re-activated as
well. Response
In January 2017, Inauguration planner Tom Barrack
explained that the event would be characterized by a
"soft sensuality" rather than a "circus-like
atmosphere." A week after the Inauguration, airports
around the country exhibited a circus-like atmosphere
as the Trump Administration suddenly implemented
an immigration ban on visitors from seven Muslim-
majority nations. At the Dallas Fort Worth Airport, a
Sudanese green card holder and her 11-month-old
baby, a U.S. citizen, were among those detained as a
result of Trump's order. Response
In February 2017, President Trump repealed a law
passed in the last days of the Obama administration
that would have made it harder for coal companies to
dump mining debris into streams and waterways.
While the legislation Trump approved is intended to
save coal-mining jobs, Vox.com cited outside analysis
that suggests the new law will "boost annual mining
employment by 124 jobs." Response
Response
As early as 2007, Donald Trump started praising
Vladimir Putin for the "great job" Putin was doing in
Russia. "Will he become my new best friend?" Trump
tweeted in June 2013, ahead of his November trip to
Moscow for the Miss Universe pageant. Response
When another player plays a Trump Card, play this
card to negate that card's effect and destroy your
opponent's legacy. Response


Response
Response
Response
Response
Response
Response
Response
Cads About Maternity - A game for bad mommies
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B06XWH5G2K/
From the makers of the hit wedding party game Cads About Matrimony comes an equally awful new
game for bad mommies. The perfect way to ruin a baby shower, offend the grandparents, and make a
pregnant lady cry. Designed specifically to make the transition to parenthood even more difficult and
terrifying than it already is. Just 200 cards, since you are probably too busy peeing every 30 seconds,
falling asleep mid-sentence, and eating cookie dough by the pound to play a full game. A classic
matching game where one player reads a question and other players submit their answers. The
results are as joyful and disgusting as parenthood itself.
______ will win you the Mom of the Year award every time.
______: an important prenatal yoga practice.
Cherish the special moments, like ______.
Don't worry, ______ is not as hard as it seems.
For a unique baby shower activity, try ______.
How can you keep your sex life satisfying during your pregnancy?
If you need a break from the pressures of parenthood, try _______.
One important benefit of breastfeeding is ______.
One of the benefits of using a midwife is _______.
Parenthood gets real when you experience ______.
Sadly, ______ was not one of the amenities the birthing center offered.
The epidural actually works better if you chase it with _______.
The most magical moment of motherhood is ______.
Welcome your child into the world with ______.
What are you most looking forward to after baby's here?
What cured your postpartum depression?
What did your doula bring to the birthing suite to calm you down?
What did your labor feel like?
What's a surefire way to induce labor?
What's left on your to-do list before the kid arrives?
What's the best gift a new parent can get?
What's the best way to be a supportive partner to the new mom?
What's the best way to ensure good pregnancy nutrition?
What's the key to successful hypnobirthing?
What's the most annoying habit of expecting mothers?
What's the most terrifying part of becoming a parent?
What's your favorite baby name so far?
What's your secret remedy for sore nipples?
When was your dignity at its lowest?
When you're in labor, ______ can be very comforting.
#diaperfail
18 books on how to fail as a parent
20 years of paid maternity leave
8,000 baby blankets
A baby bath shaped like a uterus
A baby in a weiner costume
A baby orangutan
A baby registry filled with nothing but elaborate bongs
A baby seat for your motorcycle
A baby sling made out of martini glasses
A baby that smokes and plays the ukulele
A bachelorette party blackout love child
A back alley C-section
A benevolent robot babysitter
A bloody creature popping through your sternum Alien style
A coke-fueled babymoon in Vegas
A cord blood painting
A diaper bag that changes diapers for you
A dirty diaper wedgie
A doctor mansplaining to you about mucus plugs
A foreskin charm bracelet
A gentle music box rendition of "Gangnam Style"
A handsome stranger with a pregnanat lady fetish
A handsy OB/GYN who stinks of whiskey
A hot hipster dad with a craft beard
A hysterical outburst about cosleeping
A literal shit show
A lot of gore and humanity
A mouthful of baby piss
A newborn size Darth Vader helmet
A nursing bra strip tease
A red sequined hospital gown
A sippy cup full of tequila
A soundproof crib
A stroller that costs more than your car
A three-day gender reveal bender
A wall-size print of your first ultrasound
A well endowed wet nurse
A whole new kind of "play date"
Acting insufferably smug and self-important while you stroke your swollen abdomen
Adopting an orphan crack baby
All the hormones in the whole world
All the ways the baby blogs convince you you are murdering your unborn child
An "I'm with the MILF" onesie
An 18-year day care wait list
An uncontrollable craving for a big fat joint
Ancient Viking birthing rituals involving caribou pelt and mead
Awkward and uncomfortable new sex positions that you both hate
Baby Jumbly Bum Bum Junior
Baby-proofing the porn cabinet
BDSM costumes in maternity sizes
Being constantly pawed by strangers
Being kicked in the ribs for 16 weeks
Blasting Metallica through your uterine walls
Borderline inappropriate naked infant photos
Bragging about your newborn's very highly advanced pooping capabilities
Breast milk piña coladas
Breast pump foreplay
Celebrating the fact that you flossed
Chocolate for breakfast
Cold-cocking a stranger who felt compelled to conjecture you "must be getting close!"
Converting your sex dungeon into a baby room
Deciding to just stay pregnant forever
Decorating the nursery with pictures of boobs
Delivering in a pool of champagne and rose petals
Doing karate kicks while you push
Dressing your child up as food
Drinking for two
Eating sushi because fuck it, it's delicious
Embryo popsicles
Feeling roughly the size of a bloated narwhal
Fetus confetti
Filling your birthing pool with warm, lavender-scented vodka
Finally getting to expose your boobs in public
Forcing people to compliment your ugly baby
Free range organic cotton fair trade butt wipes
Fucking owls
Gaining 80 pounds of cookie dough weight
Giving birth in the back seat of a Prius
Giving birth to a centaur
Growing a third boob
Having your every decision examined by every single person on Earth
Heteropaternal superfecundation
(Google it)
Hot, hot pregnant lady sex
In utero SAT prep class
Inconvenient ovulation
Installing a snooze button on the baby
Latching like a motherfucker
Live blogging your cervical dilation
Magical vaj tightening elixir
Making sweet love to a specimen cup
Many passive-aggressive parent listserv posts
Matching family turtlenecks
Men who breastfeed
Mistaking a dildo for a teether
Mommy wars PTSD
Mustachifiers
Nanny sharing in more ways than one
NASA-level baby monitoring technology
Never, ever, ever, ever, ever going out again.
Ever.
New lows in personal hygiene
Nipple electrocution
Opium-flavored formula
Orgasmic contractions
Peeing your pants a little every time you sneeze
Pilot Inspector Apple Bobo
Pimping on the side, to save for college
Placenta-flavored protein bars
Pooping all over a nurse
Prenatal vitamins
Projectile baby vomit in your eye
Public poopsplosions
Publicly breastfeeding your eight-year-old
Pushing an object the size of a watermelon through a hole the size of a grape
Putting stirrups on your bed, just for fun
QUINTUPLETS!!!!!
Realizing you have baby shit in your hair
Rogue ninja sperm
Science Baby
Scoring Beyonce as your egg donor
Screaming "FUCK YOUR FAT FACE" over and over as loud as you can
Seeing who can cry the loudest
Sensually licking steamed carrot purée off a tiny spoon
Shade grown certified humane bamboo burp cloths
Silently puking in the office bathroom
Slapping the shit out of the next person who hands you something pink
Some weird as fuck baby name
Squatting and farting
Stanky pirate snatch
Still throwing yourself baby showers when the kid starts kindergarten
Taking a conference call with an infant on your teat
Tattooing BADASS across your baby bump
The baby gender police
The baby-industrial complex
The distant memory of a clitoris
The good kid
The kaleidoscopic spectrum of baby poop colors
The mortal fear that your labia will never be the same
The most beautiful, magical miracle EVAAAR!!!
The most disgusting thing you've ever smelled
The myth of fetal alcohol syndrome
The sheer quantity of crap an eight-pound human can produce
The worst mistake you ever made
Three hours of sleep IN A ROW
Throwing yourself six baby showers, starting pre-conception
Trading your kid in for a better one
Unflattering comparisons to lactating farm animals
Various combinations of eating, pooping, sleeping, and puking
Viet Cong-style sleep deprivation torture
Vigorously washing all your nipples
WhiteBabyBlackMarket.com
Wishing your vagina didn't hurt so much
Wondering who the father is
Your gorgeous new milk boobs
Your mother-in-law's extremely graphic birth story
Humanity Hates Trump: Expansion Pack 1
Originally on Kickstarter and had been successfully funded before its deadline, but faced an IP
challenge from CAH. Released on May 18, 2016.
_________ is the real reason Trump declared bankruptcy 4 times.

_________ is/are like roaches - you can't kill them
__________. It's not just a good idea, it's the law.
_________. The solution for women.
_________(s) should never be allowed in America.
After last night's debate, we were shocked to find out that Trump supports __________.
And on the 8th day, God created _________, and it was good
Breaking News: CNN Reports that Donald Trump has been assassinated by _________ for his actions
in/on _________.
Disney Presents: _________ on ice!

Donald Trump Is sometimes known by his vigilante alter ego: "_________: Destroyer of _________!"
He alone, who owns the _________(s), gains the _________(s).
High school students today just don't have a good grasp of _________.
I would build a wall around ________(s).
In addition to Black History month, Donald Trump has created _________ history month.
In Trump tower you'll find 60 stories of _________(s) and __________(s).
Make _________(s) great again.
Monica Lewinsky said she won't vote for another Clinton because of __________(s).
New studies show _________(s) causes autism.
Next season on Celebrity Apprentice: _________.
No more _________ at Starbucks.
The concept of Global warming was created by _________.

The Japanese Government has spent billions of yen researching _________.
There's nothing that money can't buy, except _________."
They kill us. I beat _________(s) all the time. All the time.
Trump uses a mixture of ________ and _________ to hold his hair in place.
What does Trump do for fun?
What is the secret to winning the hunger games?
What's better than an orgasm?
When I'm President, the first thing I'll hide is _________(s).
Why has America gone downhill?
"Trump Nude" internet searches.
A huuuge wall, that the Mexicans will pay for.

A sack of potatoes stuffed into a condom.
A sign language interpreter at a Trump rally just wildly swinging middle fingers.
A small loan of a million dollars.
Being the only person at the office-mandated sexual harassment training.
Bernie Sanders.
Big schlonging.
Blood coming out of wherever.
Captive war bitches.
Carly Fiorina's dog face.
Celebrity Apprentice™.
China beatings.
Chinese campaign clothing.
Chinese hackers.
Chris Christie's gravitational pull.
Clinton bathroom breaks.
Common sense gun control laws.
Dating your daughter.
Democrats.
Donald Trump Blow Up Dolls.
DRUMPF.
Dumb blondes.
Ethnic cleansing.
Euthanization of the Chinese population for fun and profit.
Extra chromosomes.
Global warming.
Heidi Klum's former 10 body.
Hillary Clinton's mysterious women powers.
Hillary Clinton's sexts.
Integrity, or progress?
Jokes about 9/11.
Legalized marijuana.
Lindsey Graham's phone number.
Long and beautiful fingers.
Losers and haters.
Low budget abortion clinics.
Mexican rapists.
Miss America sex tapes.
Non casual sex.
Non-Americans.
Overly polite strippers from Wisconsin.
Police shooting black people.
Polish illegal immigrants.
Poorly educated voters.
President Obama's fake birth certificate.
Problematic Mexicans.
Rosie O'Donnell's truck driver accent.
Rubio's robot overlords.
Rubio's sweat.
Rubio's water bottle.
Sarah Palin in a helicopter shooting seals with an AK-47.
Second or Third World Countries.
Secret Service laundry Trips.
Self-proclaimed teen idol, Donald Trump.
Slowly stroking it to a photo of myself.
Spray tans.
Strategic bankruptcies.
Tears of deported immigrants.
That damn Apple™ agreement.
The funding of Planned Parenthood™.
The Oral Office.
The other Bush.
The Russians.
The War on Drugs.
Thinly veiled Hitler quotes.
Tiny children in horse costumes.
Trump's flabby, wrinkled figure.

Trump's hairpiece or a drowned rat.
Two small breasts and a bunch of left wings.
Ugly mexican hookers.

Vacation to the Islamic State.
Vanilla Isis.
Vietnamese prison camps.
Weak and pathetic people.

Weekend at Bernie's.
Well educated scientists who say vaccines don't cause autism.
What's her face.
White Privilege.
Similar to the base game, these cards are smaller than standard playing card size. The cards are 2' x 3',
and are therefore not recommended for purchase for combining into a CAH set.
These cards include footnotes denoting who suggested the card for this set. That information is presented
in the Footnote column for those that wish to have it.
______ is going to make me rich!

______ is the key to a healthy lifestyle
A recent study shows students get straight A's after being exposed to ______.
Bruno Mars should write a song about ______.
Daydreaming about ______ is the only way to survive a boring class.
Grandma would never admit she likes ______.
Haters love hating, but lovers love ______.
I am so proud of my drawing of ______.
I wish my parents would let me watch that TV show about ______.
Imagine what the world would be without ______.
Just watch. ______ is how I will make history.
My best friend stopped talking to me over ______.

Spinach doesn't make you strong, ______ does.
The unforgettable memory of ______.
There is a small, remote town in Europe where ______ is totally normal.
They should make a movie musical about _______.
Today's episode of National Geographic will feature ______.
What does Justin Timberlake need?
What happens when you eat too much sugar?

What's a surefire way to get detention?
A dozen spiders crawling up your leg.

A golden ticket to Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory.
A lip-synch battle to the death.
A one-way ticket to Mars.
A sad face emoji, a happy face emoji, and a poop emoji.
A secret Valentine.
An app that instantly makes your parents stop nagging you.
An endless loop of Elmo singing "Elmo's World®."
Bad B.O. on the first day of school.
Becoming the new, lucky owner of Harry Potter's™ wand.
Being forced to clean up all the gum stuck to the bottom of a desk.
Bikini Bottom.
Breaking the world record for the longest poop known to mankind.
Calling shotgun.
Chocolate covered cockroaches.
Computer Engineer Barbie®.
Cookie dough on a cone.
Corn dogs.
Doing flips into a giant bowl of rainbow-colored cotton candy.
Donald Duck whispering "marshmallow."
Donald Trump hair.
Dressing up like Lady Gaga.

Eating breakfast for dinner everyday.
Four hours in the mall with Mom's credit card.

Hacking up a loogie.
Hummus.
Jumping rope with a bunch of worms tied together.
Making friends with the neighbors just because they have a pool.
Mistaking a glue stick for Chapstick®.
Mistakingly waving at someone who isn't waving at you.
My dad taking the wrong cat for surgery.
My first kiss.
ONLY WRITING IN ALL CAPS.
Pickles.
Prank calling my dad.
Putting tape on your nose to make a pig snout.
Resenting getting kicked out of the room when Game of Thrones comes on.
Running around barefoot in the rain.
Running away with the circus.
Serena Williams.
Singing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" in German.
Sleeping in every day.
Smelling someone before you see them.
Spam.
Starbucks®.
Sweet revenge.
That boring friend who stalks you everyday.
The dessert section in Trader Joe's®.
The easter bunny attacking you in your sleep.
The Ice Bucket Challenge.
The inventor of the toilet.
The last days of school.
The most painful splinter.
The ultimate glow-in-the-dark, green glitter, coconut-scented slime.

Tofurky®.
Waking up to Mom pulling your toes and cracking them.
Watching me whip and nae-nae.
Wearing an invisibility cloak into the principal's office.
Witnessing a little girl turning into an apricot.

Trumped UpCards: Astonishlingly Excellent Wealthcare! Expansion Pack
https://www.amazon.com/Trumped-Up-Cards-Alternative-Facts/dp/B06XYFCPX9/
56 cards, printed on premium linen card stock, in a family-owned factory in the U.S.A., by amazing
American card-workers. Tremendously relevant party game for at least the next four years. 12 new
Question cards and 43 new Answer cards are beautifully footnoted with real facts, quotes, and stats from
the dishonest and disgusting news media. Despite the constant negative press covfefe.
EDITOR NOTES: Many of the cards in this set contain footnotes that do not affect game play that explain
the basis for the phrase on the cards. Those footnotes are presented in the Footnote column for those that
wish to have them.
Last, the game introduces an alternative way to end the game. The Prompt Cards have a letter on the
back of the card in the lower left hand corner. If players can collect enough prompt cards to spell "VOTE",
they win the game. However, if another player is able to "VETO", the game continues. Those letters are
presented in the Letter column for those that wish to have them.
Affordable healthcare's not the answer. Only _____ can end America's opioid epidemic.
After Trump defunds Planned Parenthood, low-income Americans can still rely on _____ for birth control.
No populist uprising is complete until a 60-year-old waitress has to start a GoFundMe.com campaign every
time she needs _____.
People don't ask this question, but isn't _____ a form of healthcare?
President Trump says the U.S. needs "a good 'shutdown' in September to fix mess." Your survival kit
should include: _____.
President Trump's most strenuous form of exercise? _____.
To help sick people feel better, TrumpCare will include tax credits for _____.
To improve America's economy and its health, Wisconsin dairy milk will now include 5 times the
recommended daily intake of _____.
To maintain his strength and stamina, President Trump favors a diet rich in _____.
Under TrumpCare, essential benefits will include _____.
What helped Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe recover from the Mother of All Handshakes?
Your chance of dying from ass cancer is roughly 570,000 times greater than your chance of getting killed
by a refugee terrorist. Better spend more money on _____.
A "Get Well Soon!" balloon from Paul Ryan.
A "Trump Teens Pedicure Sundae."
A blood transfusion from a teen with at least 10,000 Instagram followers.
A firm but caring spanking from Ben Carson.
A great relationship with the whites.

A larger-than-average Quarter Pounder.
A Learning Annex class on reversing the aging process.
A map of Trump's electoral victory.
A mini-Bible with only the best Psalms.
A Mylar emergency blanket that isn't so comfortable it kills your initiative.
A photograph of Jared Kushner in a lab coat.
A scented candle that smells like Sean Spicer in a bunny suit.
A second opinion on General Michael Flynn.
A vision board filled with Eric Trump's wisest quotes on hotel management and killing leopards.
A YouTube clip of Sean Hannity explaining how good he is at karate.

Affordable heroin.
Airport screenings for pre-existing Muslims.
An extra scoop of ice cream.
Beating Melania down the steps of Air Force 1.
Bill O'Reilly's children's book.
Butt-plumping cream.
Coal wheat bread.
Dawn immigration raids.

Deporting moms.
Fluffy Air Force 1 hand towels.
For-profit mass incarceration.
Fried Big Bird.
Golfing in high heels.
Grabbing Angela Merkel by the hand.
Heavily regulated vaginas.
Inadvertent eye contact with Rex Tillerson.

Relaxed-fit golf pants.
Replacing healthy school lunches with a well-done steak and ketchup.
Sean Spicer's thoughts on Hitler.
Sitting in a big-boy truck!
Snapchat dog face filters.

Surplus Russian vodka.
The hair-trap in Steve Bannon's bathtub.
The Pentagon's massive stockpile of Viagra.
The spare keys to Kanye West's bomb shelter.
The West Wing Glory Hole.
Unprotected lunch with Mike Pence.

Untreated urinary tract infections.
Special Set
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Special Footnote
Wendy Rader
Seattle, WA
If TrumpCare passes in its current form, individual states will have the
option to decide if their Medicare coverage includes basic drug
addiction treatment services. "Taken as a whole, it is a major retreat
from the effort to save lives in the opiate epidemic," an associate dean
at John Hopkins Bloomberg School of Public Health told the Washington
Post in March 2017. According to fedeal health statistics, a record
33,000 people died from opiate overdoses in 2015. V
While Planned Parenthood provides a wide range of healthcare
services, including contraception, cancer screenings, and STD tests,
anti-abortion advocates want to entirely eliminate the federal funding it
receives because some of its clinics provide abortions (which by law
already receive no federal funding). A provision in TrumpCare would
allow individual states to cut federal funding to Planned Parenthood --
potentially reducing access to services for the approximately 1.5 million
Americans who now use Medicaid to obtain healthcare through Planned
Parenthood. E
A study conducted by the Kaiser Family Foundation estimates that a 60-
year-old living in Alameda, CXA and making $30,000 will see the
amount he or she has to pay for healthcare premiums rise from $2480
under ObamaCare to $12,730 under TrumpCare. T
In a May 2017 tweet, President Trump implied that Republicans in the

Senate should make no attempt to pass legislation to fund the federal
governemnt in September, thus triggering a costly "shutdown."
Presumably, this shutdown would give Trump a better chance to fix the
country's problems himself, without meddling from people who have
experience running federal agencies. V
In his 1991 book Trumped!, former Trump Organization executive John
O'Donnell writes, "[Trump] believed that the human body was like a
battery. It stored only so much vitality, and when that was used up, it
weakened and died. Exercise was foolish, he said, because it depleted
the battery's energy." O
In April 2017, President Trump visited Wisconsin and promised to "stand

up for our dairy farmers" against Canada, which recently made it harder
for the U.S. and other countries to sell certain milk products
competitively there. "Don't blame Canada for our dairy problems," the
publisher of a dairy marketing publication told the Milwaukee Journal
Sentinel. "Undisciplined milk production in the Great Lakes is the
problem...We've got enough milk." E
According to Axios.com, Trump's favorite foods include Coke, Diet Coke,

Lay's Potato Chips, well-done steakes, Big Macs on silver trays, and
vanilla-flavored Keebler Vienna Fingers. T
The Affordable Care Act, aka ObamaCare, designates ten "essential
benefits" -- such as emergency room trips, lab tests, and maternity care
-- that any health insurance policy offered in an ObamaCare
marketplace must include. Under TrumpCare, individual states would
decide which benefits policies must offer. V
When Abe visited the White House in February 2017, President Trump
surprised him with a 19-second handshake that started with some
friendly hand-patting, peaked with a strong jolt and some intense eye-
gazing, then wound down with a series of rolling aftershocks and a final
thumbs-up from Trump. O
According to the Cato Institute, a libertarian think tank, the chance of

being killed by a refugee terrorist is 1 in 3.64 billion per year. Meanwhile,
an estimated 50,260 Americans, or 1 in every 6386, die from colorectal
cancer each year. E
In May 2017, the Congressional Budget Office (CBO) forecasted that 23

million Americans will lose their health insurance coverage by 2026 as a
result of the American Healthcare Act, which Paul Ryan (R- WI)
shepherd through the House of Representatives earlier that month. "I'm
actually comforted by the CBO report which shows, yeah, we'll lower
premiums," Ryan said of the CBO's assessment.
The spas at Trump Hotels offer something called the "Trump Teens
Pedicure Sundae." While brochures do not describe exactly what this
service entails, it lasts 45 minutes and costs $70.
Studies have shown that injecting blood plasma from young mice into
old mice can have rejuvenating effects. In August 2016, Ambrosia, a
private clinic in California, started a human clinical trial in which
individuals aged 35 and above receive a two-liter plasma transfusion
from someone aged 25 or younger. For those seeking rejuvenation, the
fee to participate is $8000.
In May 2017, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben

Carson toured a homeless shelter in Ohio and expressed approval at
the facility's crowded sleeping area and lack of TVs. In an interview with
the New York Times, he suggested that such facilities should not be too
comfortable, as that would cause people to say, "I'll just stay here. They
will take care of me."
I have a great relationship with the blacks, Trump exclaimed during a
2011 radio interview. "The Hispanics love me," he insisted in 2015. In
2016, however, white voters provided his margin of victory -- especially
those without a college degree. According to the Pew Research Center,
"Trump's margin among whites without a college degree is the largest
among any candidate in exit polls since 1980."
In February 2016, CNN's Anderson Cooper asked Trump what he likes
to eat at McDonalds. "The Fish Delight sometimes," Trump replied. The
Big Macs are great. The Quarter Pounders with cheese. It's great stuff."
In 2002, Trump co-starred with Grimace in a commercial touting the
McDonald's Big N' Tasty burger. In 2003, McDonald's dropped the Big N'
Tasty from its Dollar Menu.
In April 2017, President Trump was discussing China with three

reporters from Reuters when he handed them color-coded maps that
show which counties he won during the 2016 election. The same week,
a Washington Post reporter noted that Trump had asked the paper to
run an image of the map on the newspaper's front page.
In May 2017, Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Ben

Carson toured a homeless shelter in Ohio and expressed approval at
the facility's crowded sleeping area and lack of TVs. In an interview with
the New York Times, he suggested that such facilities should not be too
comfortable, as that would cause people to say, "I'll just stay here. They
will take care of me."
During the George W. Bush administration, current White House Press

Secretary Sean Spicer used to dress up as the Easter Bunny for the
White House's annual Easter Egg Roll.
In February, Michael Flynn resigned from his position as National
Security Advisor amidst revelations about his contacts with the Russians
during the 2016 presidential campaign. In May, the Daily Beast reported
that President Trump reportedly still hopes that "a resolution of the FBI's
investigation in Flynn's favor might allow Flynn to rejoin the WHite
House in some capacity."
On a 2012 hunting trip in Zimbabwe, Eric and Donald Trump Jr. posed
for trophy photos with a menagerie of animals they'd killed, including
leopard.
On many occasions over the years, Fox News talk show host Sean
Hannity has told his viewers about his prowess in "street martial arts,"
"stick training," and MMA champion Chuck Liddell's signature punch,
"The Iceman." In September 2016, the Washington Free Beacon
compiled a supercut of these moments and posted it on YouTube.
In April 2017, two Time magazine reporters who dined with Trump at the
White House reported that "he gets two scoops of ice cream with his
chocolate cream pie, instead of the single scoop for everyone else."
On Inauguration Day, photographers captured President Trump

charging up the steps to the White House for the first time, without
waiting to help Melania out of the SUV in which they'd arrived. Since
then, multiple photographs have documented instances of the President
leaving the First Lady in the dust as they enter or exit various events.
In November 2016, Bill O'Reilly published a children's book called Give
Please a Chance that encourages toddlers to be more courteous and
compliant. In April 2017, Fox News fired O'Reilly in the wake of a New
York Times article that detailed the $13 million that Fox News and
O'Reilly had spent over the years to settle "complaints of sexual
harassment and other inappropriate behavior" from five women who
either worked at Fox New or appeared as guests on the network.
In Trump's first 100 days, ICE arrested 10,800 unauthorized immigrants

without any criminal history, up from 4200 in the same period in 2016.
ICE also arrested 30,473 arrestees, ICE announced, 2700 had prior
convictions for "violent crimes such as homicide, rape, kidnapping and
assault." When The Nation asked for a more specific breakdown, an ICE
spokesperson responded, "We do not have statistics to the specificity of
criminalities." The FBI definition of "violent crimes" includes those that
ICE mentioned, plus robbery.
In February 2017, a 35-year-old mother of two American-born children,
who had been convicted in 2008 of using a false Social Security
number, was arrested after her yearly check-in at a US Immigration and
Customs Enforcement office in Phoenix and deported to her native
Mexico. In April 2017, a 42-year-old mother of four American-born
children in Ohio with no criminal history was arrested and deported to
Mexico. Due to her husband's health problems, the Guardian reported,
she was her family's primary breadwinner. Her youngest child is three
years old.
According to the Huffington Post, an anonymous White House aide
claimed in February 2017 that President Trump has "registered a
complaint about the hand towels abouard Air Force One…because they
are not soft enough."
Stock prices of private prison companies, which have soared since

President Trump was elected, went up again after U.S. Attorney General
Jeff Sessions released a memo in February 2017 regarding his decision
to reverse an Obama-era Justice Department policy designed to end the
federal government's use of private prisons.
In May 2017, the Trump Administration proposed reducing funding to
the Corporation for Public Broadcasting to $30 million in 2018, and
eliminating it thereafter. The Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which
received $446 million in federal funding in 2016, helps fund PBS, home
to Sesame Street and Big Bird for more than 40 years.
When Trump Golf Links at Ferry Point opened in 2015, Ivanka Trump
participated in the opening-day ceremonies by taking a swing while
wearing high heels.
During a March 2017 phot op with President Trump and German

Chancellor Angela mErkel in the Oval Office, the two did not shake
hands, even though photographers asked them to do so. Afterwards,
Trump said he hadn't heard the requests and insisted that he and
Merkel have "unbelievable chemistry."
In May 2017, the New York Times reported, the Texas House
Legislature voted to ban "a commonly used second-trimester abortion
procedure," thus "hitting back at a United States Supreme Court
decision last summer that struck down most of the sweeping restrictions
on the procedure that the state approved four years ago."
In March 2017, the Washington Post published a feature on how former

Exxon CEO Rex Tillerson was adjusting to his new role as Secretry of
State. "Many career diplomats say they still have not met him, and some
have been instructed not to speak to him directly -- or even make eye
contact," the Post reported.
In April 2017, The Hill reported that Agriculture Secretary Sonny Pardue
introduced new rules that will allow schools "to roll back healthy school
lunch standards promoted by Michelle Obama."
You had someone as despicable as Hitler who didn't even sink to using
chemical weapons, White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer
exclaimed in an April 2017 press briefing regarding the U.S. decision to
conduct a missile strike against Syria after its president, President
Bashar al-Assad, used chemical weapons in an airstrike on a rebel-held
town in Syria that killed scores of civilians, including children. Hitler, of
course, also used chemical weapons -- specifically, gas chambers in
concentration camps -- to kill six million Jews and others.
When President Trump hosted the leaders from the truck industry at the
White House in March 2017, he sat in the driver's seat of a Mack 18-
wheeler parked on the White House lawn and grimaced, fist-pumped,
and finger-gunned his way through a series of exuberant photos.
According to ABC News, President Trump tooted the big rig's horn at
least six times and also wore an "I love trucks" button on his lapel.
According to the Washington Post, the bathtub at a Florida house that

White House chief strategist Steve Bannon rented in 2015 was
subjected to more than normal wear and tear. "[E]ntire Jacuzzi bathtub
seems to have been covered in acid," the property's landlord emailed
Bannon. "I'm out of town," Bannon replied, "is there any way u can talk
with Diane and sort things out???"
According to the Military Times, the Pentagon spent $84 million on

erectile dysfunction prescriptions in 2014, including $41.6 million on
Viagra.
In April 2017, CNBC reported on increasing demand for luxury bomb

shelters from "Californians and New Yorkers afraid of nuclear war."
According to the tabloid reports, a Texas-based builder called Rising S
Company is constructing a bunker for Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.
The owner of Rising S Company declined to confirm this to CNBC.
In the face of lawsuits from citizen watchdog groups in 2009, the Obama
Administration began releasing the names of most White House visitors
on a regualr basis. In April 2017, citing "grave national security risks and
privacy concerns," the Trump Administration announced it would not
voluntarily diclose White House visitor logs. Individuals and
organizations who meet with the President and his staff at the White
House can now do so with a much greater presumption of anonymity.
In October 2016, the Indianapolis Star reported that "during his 12 years
in Congress, Pence had rules to avoid any infidelity temptations, or
even rumors of impropriety. Those included requiring that any aide who
had to work late to asist him be male, never dining alone with a woman
other than his wife, and not attending an event where alcohol is served
unless [his wife] was there."
Humanity Hates Trump: Expansion Pack 2 - Humanity Hates Hillary, Too
Originally on Kickstarter and had been successfully funded before its deadline, but faced an IP
challenge from CAH. Released on May 18, 2016.
_________ is Hillary's Watergate.

_________ is the law of the land, deal with it.
Al Gore invented _________
As first female president, I am legalizing _________.
Daddy? What are you doing?
Having sex with Hillary is like having sex with _________.
Hey, Susie. I know your job is _________ but can you just grab me _________? Thanks.
Hillary is better then Trump because of _________.
Hillary is worse then Trump because of _________.

Hillary was caught with _________.
I did not have _________ with _________.
I did not have sexual relations with _________.
In order to win more voters, Hillary Clinton will now support _________.
It depends on what the meaning of the word(s) _________ is/are.
It's not cheating if (its/I'm) _________.
Martin Luther King's real dream was _________.
My husband may have ( his ) _________, but he has never lied to me.
Newsflash. Hillary is President. What's Next?
The Presidential reality show would feature _________.
There are _________ everywhere. And yet they do not contribute to the growth of their own countries.
To deny the opportunity to any of our daughters and sons solely on the basis of _________ is to deny them
the chance to live up to their God given potential.
We have to pass the _________ Act, which is currently pending in Congress.
What made this the most dramatic rose ceremony ever?
What makes a man sponge-worthy?
What resonates with Millennials?

What should I get my therapist for Christmas?
What will Bill Clinton's social cause be as First Man?
What's my preferred method of contraception?
Why do men on the internet send me pictures of _________?
Yeah, I got him off. So What? Who Cares? We got the _________ thrown out, so he walked.
A $20 bill with Harriet Tubman's face on it.
A federal holiday named after a black woman (or any woman, for that matter).
A really solid tuck job.
a reissue of Battleship where you have to find the clitoris.
A Very Hillary Christmas Special.
An 80-year-old woman with her 20-year-old lover.
An all-girl orgy comprised entirely of feminists.
Anyone but Hillary.
Arthur Weasley's muggle porn.
Asking Apple to unlock Hillary's iPhone.
Bacon panties to stop rape in the Middle East.
Barbara Bush's bush.. NOT located in the Rose Garden.
Being an overweight bitch.
Big Bird impersonator, Linda Tripp.
Bill becoming First Lady.
Bill Clinton in the Supreme (Food) Court.
Bill Clinton's Ashley Madison account.
Bill Clinton's flaccid penis.
Bill Clinton's sexual assault victims.
Bill Clintons love child.
Bill's saxophone (only thing of Bill's that gets blown).
Blowing the election Monica Lewinsky style.
Bruce Jenner's car having tranny issues.
Bruises from "falling down some stairs".
Calling your white friend "my nigga".
Chelsea's first period.
Chillary.
CNN's shocking new study that shows women aren't treated equally with men.
Congress examining your emails and finding out you're subscribed to www.muffdivers.com.
Craigslist sex ad.
Daddy loving you a little too much.
Depriving white men of the right to vote for 150 years and just seeing what happens.
Donald Trump's Presidential Seal: The bald spread eagle.
Donald Trump's worn out toupee.
Donating your breast milk for vegan consumption.
Drones hurting more innocent children than Jared from Subway.
E.coli-infested burritos from Chipotle.
Female President on her period.
Growing up black.
Guys who take off their wedding rings before they flirt with you at a bar.
Hagrid and Madame Maxime roleplay.
Having an affair with the Grand Master of the KKK.
Having unprotected sex to honor the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Hillary Clinton telling the truth about anything.
Hillary for Prison 2016.
Hillary's dildo collection.
Hillary's front-butt locked in a chastity belt.
Joe Biden whispering sweet nothings in your ear.
Keeping up with the Obamas.
Keeping women in their rightful place… the kitchen.
Kill Bill.
Kunte Kinte whipping and nae naeing.
Letting your step child out of the cage.
Living with the fact that you're a white person who regularly download songs from "Glee."
Losing the 2016 election and applying for the celebrity apprentice.
Loudmouth lesbians.
Monica voting Republican because democrats left a bad taste in her mouth.
Monica: Putting the "BJ" in Bill Jefferson Clinton.
Nancy Reagan spoon feeding baby food to the Gipper.
Obama's celebrity black book.
Pro-Choice or Pro-Hanger.
Realizing halfway through a great date that you forgot to tweeze those nipple hairs.
Reminding yourself not to start a conversation about your to-do list after your mind wanders during sex.
Resting bitch face.
Saddam Hussein reenacting the Godfather with a group of Saddam Hussein lookalikes.
Shitting in the Oval Office trash can.
Sucking Wall Street's dick for 30 years.
Talking sexy social justice with Maya Angelou until your caged bird sings.
Taylor Swift's sloppy seconds.

Thawed out placenta.
The assassination of Hillary's sex life.
The disconcertingly placed hotel room mirror that allows you to finally know how your face looks when you
poop.
The First Presidential queef.
The look on your boyfriend's face when he said "anal is no big deal" so you pulled out a strap-on.
The new Special K diet: eating the box.
The underwear sniff test.

Transgender and minority women.
Ultimate BITCH CARD (with an illustration of Hillary's hair around the words)
Using April Fools as a barometer to figure out which of your friends are actually funny.
Wearing the pantsuits in your relationship.
Trumped UpCards: Many Sides Expansion Pack
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0794F7VXV/
Are you tired of winning yet? Okay, you probably are. But it's only 2018, so you've got a lot more winning to
do whether you like it or not. That's why Trumped Up Cards Expansion Packs exist, and why we hope you
can see your way clear to playing Trumped Up Cards regularly with friends, family, and very fine people on
all sides (of the border).
EDITOR NOTES: Many of the cards in this set contain footnotes that do not affect game play that explain
the basis for the phrase on the cards. Those footnotes are presented in the Footnote column for those that
wish to have them.
Last, the game introduces an alternative way to end the game. The Prompt Cards have a letter on the back
of the card in the lower left hand corner. If players can collect enough prompt cards to spell "VOTE", they
win the game. However, if another player is able to "VETO", the game continues. Those letters are
presented in the Letter column for those that wish to have them.
Special Set
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Special Footnote Letter
Humanity Hates The Holidays
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B01M8NEOYP/ref=oh_aui_detailpage_o01_s01
A holiday themed expansion.
_________: A Holiday Tradition

All I want for Christmas is _________.
Come on, it's lovely weather for a/an _________ together with you.
Deck the halls with boughs of _________.
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made it out of _________.
During the 1914 Christmas Truce, soldiers of both sides come together to enjoy _________.
For a Thanksgiving meal your family will be talking about all year, try stuffing the turkey with _________.
How the Grinch stole _________.
I did my holiday shopping tooo late, and had to get my daughter a pop-up book titled _________.
I saw mommy kissing _________.
I'm dreaming of a white _________.
I've always imagined Santa's Sleigh was powered by _________ rather than reindeer.
Mommy, why is Santa _________?
Mrs. Claus needed to deliver the presents this year because Santa was too busy _________.
My favorite Christmas cookie is made with a lot of sugar, love, and _________.
My favorite thing to replace the carrot nose on a snowman is _________.
Rudolph's shiny, red _________.
Santa Claus vs. Jesus: The battle for _________.
T'was The Night Before _________.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of _________ danced in their heads.
The special ingredient of figgy pudding is _________.

This year, instead of coal, Santa will be giving naughty children _________.
This year, instead of Jesus and Mary in the Nativity scene, we put _________ and _________.
We wish you a Merry _________.
What did Santa see when he stopped at OJ Simpson's house?

What gave Santa diabetes?
What is Santa's favorite Holiday Tradition?
What is the true meaning of Christmas?
What's in my Christmas stocking this year?
With the reindeer on strike, this year Santa's sleigh is fueled by _________.
#blackfridaymatters
A box of nude pictures of your girlfriend, from your best friend.

A cotton headed ninny muggins.
A fully cooked turkey as a hat.
A gingerbread man living in a home made of his own flesh.
A Harlem White Christmas.
A lactating reindeer.
A Macy's Thanksgiving Day wardrobe malfunction.
A Muslim in the White House.
A transgender Barbie™ doll.
Accidentally gifting your wife's lingerie to your mom.
Adolf Hitler singing "O Tannenbaum" in hell.
Allah Akbar Goldstein, the most confused boy in the world.
An official Red Ryder Carbine Action Two Hundred Shot Range Model Air Rifle.
An uncanny correlation between a family's financial situation and Santa's generosity.
Being "touched" by an angel.
Being a virgin and giving birth on Christmas.
Being nice in December so you can be a douche for the rest of the year.
Being thankful for your new friends and then giving them the gift of smallpox.
Bill Cosby standing by the punch bowl.
Calling it 'X-mas' just to annoy people.
Celebrating genocide by eating turkey with friends and family.
Chinese food and movie theater tickets.
Christmahanakwanzika.
Ebenezer Splooge.
Explaining 'safety in numbers' to 6 million Jews.
Feats of strength.
Feeding the homeless meat pies made of their fallen brethren.
Getting groin-tickled by Santa's white beard.
Getting invited back to Santa's workshop.
Getting trampled on Black Friday.
Giving a homeless person a gingerbread house.
Grandma pinching all four of your cheeks.
Grandpa's Christmas sausage.
Having dyslexia and writing a list to Satan.
Hiding hooch around the house.
Ho, Ho, Hoes.
Jared from Subway®.
Jesus Juice.
Jews for Jesus.
Kristmas at the Kardashians'.
Kristmas with the Klan.
Leaving your child home alone to fend for himself.
Mistaking poison oak for mistletoe.
Mrs. Claus getting gangbanged by all of the other reindeer.
Penis shaped cookies and "milk."
People who wear shirts that say female body inspector.
Plan B in your Christmas stocking.
Playing inappropriate card games with your family.
Putting Christ in Christmas.
Re-gifted fruitcake.
Reaching your hand in the Salvation Army bucket to make it look like you're donating, but really you're stealing that shit.
Reindeer semen.
Rudolph's pent up sexual frustration.
Santa cumming down your chimney.
STDs: gotta catch 'em all.
Stockings filled with Vaseline®.
Telling kids that the Tootsie Rolls® are actually processed reindeer crap.
That awkward family who thinks it's "cybersex Monday."
That awkward present that vibrates in the box.
That moment you realize the elf's workshop is really a Bangladeshi sweatshop.
That one funny uncle with a welcoming lap who always dresses as Santa.
The "Little Drummer Boy" switching to the rusty trombone.
The "North Pole", if you know what I mean.
The Diary of Anne Spank: An XXX Parody.
The disappointment of a Jewish child on the 25th.
The sense of holiday spirit you feel while buried to the hilt in the cold, uncooked guts of your Thanksgiving Day turkey.
The Star Wars Holiday Special.
The Ultimate Yule Log
Play this card and win the round.
The gift that keeps on giving.
Unwrapping Go-Bots® because you're poor.
Unwrapping Justin Timberlake's dick in a box.
Using child labor to make toys for the first world.

Vibrating stockings.
Waking up Christmas morning to find your parents unwrapping each other.
Wearing a belt made out of mistletoe.
When your SJW cousin calls you insensitive because he thinks your bowl of mixed nuts is a political statement against same-
sex interracial couples.
Wondering why people celebrate Christmas when Jesus was Jewish.
Yellow snow.
Your family asking if you are seeing anyone yet.
Your uncle's obvious "fuck me" eyes.
Special Set
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Humanity Hates the Holidays "Love" Edition Special
https://www.amazon.com/Humanity-Hates-Holidays-White-Cards/dp/B06XRJ7PBQ/
The Adult Party Game For Valentine's Day, the Dreaded Anniversary, Birthday, or Anytime with
Your "Loved" One. The great party game for any events so you can talk about "Love".
______ is the key to recovery.

Believe in the magic of _______.
Can you feel the ______ tonight?
Cupid is known for this ______.
Every kiss begins with _______.
Getting drunk on Valentine's Day usually leads to ______.
He got harder than a rock afeter he saw _______.
I can't believe he proposed to me with ______ instead of a ring.
I can't believe my sister wrote in her diary about ______.

I found my mom's dildo and traded it for ______.
I gave my girlfriend a B- because she didn't use (a/the) _______.
I hate Cupid because (of) _______.
I love you more than _______.
If you thought American Pie was bad, you should have seen what I did with _______.
Instead of roses, he gave me _______.
My girlfriend gave me chocolate-covered _______.
Only you can prevent _______.
Our waitress at Hooters™ showed us her _______.
Our wedding night consisted of ______ and _______. PICK 2
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I am going to ______
with you.
Sex: Making _______ great again.

She just got a new tramp stamp of ______.
St. Valentine: Patron Saint of ______.
The Cosmo-sex-act-of-the-month: ______. Surprise him with it tonight!
The true meaning of love is _______.

To prove he loved me, he gave me _______.
What can ______ do for you?
What Cinderella really asked of her Fairy Godmother is _______.
When you run out of Valentine's Day gift ideas, you should get _______.
Why do I like you?
(An) eggplant emoji.
100% All-Beef Thermometer.

8th Grade and Pregnant.
A "Happy Valentine's Day" Card from AshleyMadison.com.
A gas station teddy bear.
A peanut butter and KY Jelly sandwich.
A sex doll that just wants to be friends.
Abortion Baby Shower.
Accidentally hitching a ride on the bang bus.
Accidentally sexting your mom.
Ashley Madison & Chill.
Awkwardly confessing your love via text.
Bananas, Cucumbers, and Hot Dogs.
Being a sidechick on Valentine's Day.
Bleeding Dick.
Bringing your sidekick to your Valentine's Date.
Buying candy and stuffed animals on sale on February 15th.
Claiming Russell Stover™ as your Valentine.
Clown Fucking.
Congratulating someone on the results of their unprotected sex.
Convoncing your mom to Google "Lemon Party".
Dad's used fleshlight.
Dating a senior.
Designated Ugly Fat Friend.
Diaper Fetishes.
Downloading Grindr™ on Valentine's Day to "check it out".
Eating an entire box of chocolates.
Fake male orgasms.
Finding your mother's special lingerie…on your dad.
Giving out Valentine handjobs.
Gluten-free edible panties.
Grabbing her by the pussy.
Haivng sex on the display beds at Sears.
Having a surprise baby on November 14th.
Having Maury Povich tell you, "You are not the father".
Hearing your dad offer to give your mom his special cream pie.
Heat-Seeking Love Missile.
Helping someone move and finding a giant bag of sex toys.
Inappropriate Valentine's Day cards in your kid's classroom.
Jelly Bean Shits.
Jerking off to Fraggle Rock.
Leaving a sex partner so dissatisfied that you regain your virginity.
Looking at my sister's face under a blacklight.
Losing your v-card on V-Day.
Love Muscle.
Making her squirt farther than a Super Soaker™.
Milking the family snake.
Moms riding motorcycles.
Mr. Happy.
My brother's special sock.
OkCupid™.
Ordering enough Valentine's Day takeout for 2 people to avoid the delivery guy's pity.
Overindulging on gummy bears.
Panties so moist they could drown a beaver.
Placing burning cigarettes in your spouse's purse.
Practicing Cosmopolitan's 50 naughty V-Day moves.
Proposing to your sidechick accidentally.
Re-inventing what it means to "Doggy-Style".
Ripping out anal beads like you're starting a lawnmower.
Semen-flavored truffles.
Sending yourself flowers.
Seven minutes in heaven.
Single's awareness day.
Stop & Frisk Role-Playing.
Stripper's Clothes.
Surprise Anal.
Switching out Valentines for dog shit.
Tens, Tens, Tens, Twenties on my Twitties.
The desparate girl who wanted to be a mom so bad that she robbed a sperm bank.
The hospital baby swap.
The morning after pill.
Throwing rolls of pennies at strippers.

Trying to take her bra off with one hand.
Turbo thots.
Using a suicide hotline for phone sex.
Valentine's Day, when delivery guys make more than just tips.
Walking in on your sister using your electric toothbrush.
Whitening your teeth with Dad's help.
Your boyfriend revealing Cupid isn't the only fairy on Valentine's Day.
Your father's porn collection.
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The Bay Area Expansion
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/joshbarrientes/cards-against-the-bay
Funded successfully on March 26, 2015 raising $13,168 with 692 backers. Released October 15, 2015.
My new hybrid runs entirely on _________.

This just in: A whopping 9.0 earthquake has been caused by __________.
How can we put an end to gang violence?
Due to educational budget cuts, your teacher is being replaced by _________.
Ever since the drought, we've had a crippling shortage of _________.
Every good tech startup needs two things: _________ and _________.
Forget the tech industry, the next big thing is _________.

From the MacBook of Revelations: Prayeth to Steve Jobs and thou shalt be rewarded with _________.
Guess what I found in my Airbnb room last night?
Hands down, NorCal is the best place to find _________.
How can we combat the Bay's problem with homelessness?

I ate at In-N-Out and got my burger _________ style.
I just graduated with a degree in __________.
I recently created an app that uses your location to search for _________.
I submitted my resume to Facebook, but the only available position is Director of _________.
I was fired from Google due to _________.
I've started a new workout plan that revolves around _________.
If Arnold Schwarzenegger can become Governor, then _________ should run for office.
Let's eat at that trendy new restaurant called _________.
Let's go to SF his weekend and see _________.

My Tinder date said his hobbies include _________ and _________.
Paypal has just partnered with LinkedIn to bring you _________.
Politically speaking, I'd say I align myself with _________.
That new vape flavor reminds me of _________.
The Golden State Warriors, offical sponsors of _________.
The rent is too high in the Bay Area because of _________.
There's no way I'm going to Oakland! I might run into _________.
Today I tried something different. I asked for _________ on my FroYo.

What do all asian people have in common?
What is a hipster's only wekaness?
What is a software engineer's best friend?
What's the most anticipated feature of the next iPhone?
While driving down 680 earlier, I was surprised to see _________.
Who's headlining the upcoming EDM concert?

You know what's hella cool?
A bomb-ass burrito.
A field trip to Great America.
A food truck run by an obese black woman.
A game of beer pong to end all drinking games.
A group of fuck boys.
A group of Mexican battle rappers.
A hippie with down syndrome.
A hookah bar for preteens.
A liberal studies teacher with too many piercings.
A magnificent man bun.
A music festival with artists that I've actually heard of.
A rabid homeless person.

A ragtag group of artists and thespians.
A senile E-40.
A short filipina nurse.
A sneakerhead convention.
A social club for nude bike riders.
A terrorist attack on Levi's Stadium.
A Tesla brand sex robot.
All you can eat sushi.
An illegal gambling den.
An Integra with the paint peeling off the hood.
Asian Baby Girls.
Asian gangsters with their hats on too straight.
Asian privilege.
Bandwagoning The Giants.
Becoming vegan against your will.
Beef Noodle #1.
Berkeley-esque protesters.
Bros who spend way too much time at the gym.
Cali love.
Cash only at the Asian restaurant.
Chinatown.
Clam chowder in a bread bowl.
Coffee addiction.
Comb overs and skinny jeans.
Complaining that the weather is too nice.
Composting my own feces.
Converting to a new religion and finding out that it's actually a pyramid scheme.
Craft beers that all taste the same.

Driving down the 101, California here we come.
Drunk driverless cars.
Drunk texting your ex.
Filipinos in cargo shorts playing the ukulele.
Flirting with my cellular data limit.
Friends who get cray cray.
Gang violence.
Gay pride.
Getting turnt.
Gluten-free cuisine.
Going green.
Going on a hike and posting it all over social media.

Happy hour specials.
Having a white fetish.
Having brunch with your most hated enemies.

Having two dads.
Hennessy and Heinekens.

Hipsters, hipsters everywhere…
Homies that you don't fucks with anymore.
Hypebeasts.
Independent single women.
Indians who love using public transportation.
Jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge.
Leaked nudes from cloud storage.
Literally everyone I knew from High School.
Littering Lucy, and I don't care.
Malicious attacks on Facebook.
Mark Zuckerberg's evil twin brother.
Meth bombs.
Nerds with nice bodies.
No cover charge before 11pm.
Nortenos and Surenos holding hands.
People arguing if San Jose is part of The Bay.

People giving handjobs at Golden Gate Park.
PLUR babies.
San Jose State University.
Selling drugs on Craigslist.
Shamelessly flaking on your friends and loved ones.
Shitty EDM music.

Sitting next to a pedophile while riding the BART.
Some good kush.
Sriracha that's far too spicy.
Stephen Curry moonlighting as a superhero.
Straight couples nervously holding hands in the Castro.
Street performers with autism.
SWAG.
The Chipotle diet.
The cinnamony taste of Fireball shots.

The Honda-Toyota debate.
The Hyphy movement.
The Mexican hot dog man.
The only Indian person who isn't an engineer.

The reincarnation of Mac Dre.
The San Francisco 49ers having an orgy with the Oakland Raiders.
The West Coast, bitch.
The world's friskiest Uber driver.
Thirsty ass dudes with no standards.
Unrelenting traffic.
Vietnamese coffee shops.
Wait, let me take a selfie.
WiLD 94.9, The Bay Area's #1 Hit Music Station!
Wine o'clock.
Women in yoga pants.
Yellow fever.
Zombie Steve Jobs.
http://againstinhumanity.com/store/
A card game for really nice people.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on March 31, 2016 raising $3,245 with 100 backers. Released on
July 19, 2016.
_________ feels like a warm hug.
_________ gets me through the day.

_________ is the cure for cancer.
_________ is the key to fulfillment.
_________ is what I trust the most.

_________: Better than chocolate.
_________: The greatest thing since sliced bread.
_________! AMEN!
Am I human or am I _________?
Deep down I dream of _________.
How are rainbows made?
How can we all win?
How can we save the world?

I can't live without _________.
I love _________ the most.
I strive for _________.
I want to swim in a pool of _________.

I wish I had _________.
I'm a fool for _________.
I'm not a hippy, I'm _________.
Look! It's _________!
My fairytale ends with _________.
My weekends consist of _________.
Nothing beats a good _________.
One for the money, two for the _________.
Our group is really into _________.
Schools should teach _________.
The answers to life's problems is _________.

The cutest thing on Earth is _________.
True happiness is _________.
What can be seen when no one's looking?
What can heal a broken heart?
What can we learn from others?
What can you always count on?
What do dogs dream about?
What do I care about most?
What gives children joy?
What helps you make friends?

What is the essence of a cloud?
What will end all wars?
A firm handshake
A good clean joke
A living wage
A peaceful protest
A room full of smiles
A slice of humble pie
A stroke of genius
All for one and one for all
All you need is love
Aromatherapy
Art imitating life imitating art
Being a role model
Being appreciated
Being considerate of others
Being forgiven
Being spontaneous
Body positivity
Breastfeeding
Brotherhood
Chubby babies
Civil disobedience
Clean drinking water
Closing the achievement gap
Collaboration
Comfort food
Compromise
Corporate social responsibility
Crowd-sourcing
Cutting the cord
Deathrow pardons
Diversity
Don't worry, be happy
Empathy
Ending the cycle of poverty
Ending world hunger
Equal pay for equal work
Expressing yourself
Fair trade
Family
Family traditions
Finding a forever home
Five minutes of uninterrupted eye contact
Flexibility
Floppy-eared puppies
Flower power
Following your dreams
Foster parents
Free hugs
Free spirit
FREEDOM!
Friendship
Gender-neutral toys
Getting a second chance
Giving back to the community
Giving it your best shot
Going green
Good health
Good life choices
Good samaritans
Good sportsmanship
Gooos frah bah
Happiness
Helping a stranger
Holding hands
Hot yoga
Humanitarian aid
Humanity
Hybrid cars
Imagination
Inside jokes
Inspiration
Interpretive dance
Jumping for joy
Kale salads
Kindness
Kittens
Knitting
Laughing babies
Learning from your mistakes
Listening to your heart
Living debt-free
Living off the grid
Living up to your potential
Locally-sourced products
Losing the training wheels
Love itself
Loving life
Loving someone unconditionally
Loving yourself
Making a difference
Making each day count
Making new friends
Manners
Meditation
Memories
Music festivals
My parents
My soul mate
Namaste
No taxation without representation
Nonprofit organizations
Not judging a book by its cover
Nurses
Organic fabrics
Overcoming adversity
Patience
Paying it forward
Peace be with you
Peace talks
Playing make-believe
Please and thank you
Quality time
Racial equality
Rainbows
Random acts of kindness

Really nice people
Recycling
Running through the sprinkler
Sandcastles
Saving the rainforest
Saying I love you
Saying you're sorry
Scientific discovery
Self-confidence
Self-improvement
Sensitivity
Sharing your feelings
Simplicity
Singing in the rain
Social justice
Social justice warriors
Spirituality
Sunshine
Sustainability
Sweden
Taking the politics out of politics
Teaching someone how to read
The abolition of slavery
The best is yet to come
The great outdoors
Tiny houses
Tire swings
To live and let live
Treehouses
Unicorns
Unity
Universal consciousness
Using your hands
Vegetarianism
Volunteering
Votes for women!
Warm apple pie
Watching the sunset
Where everybody knows your name
Wind chimes
Won't you be my neighbor?
Work-life balance
Working together
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Brewers Against Turbidity
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/sbreiten/brewers-against-turbidity
A beer and brewing themed expansion.

Successfully funded on April 2, 2016 raising €2,087 with 84 backers. Released June 20, 2016.
_________ : I would pay big money for that.

_________ drives me crazy.
_________ is something I would never put in a beer.
_________ really adds extra flavor.
I hate beers that have _________.
I really hate _________.
I really love _________.

It's that time of the year: everyone is bringing out their seasonal beers made with _________.
It’s not infected, it's _________.
Mmmmm, tastes like _________.
My dream pilot brewery has to have _________.

My dreams are haunted by _________.
My pet peeve is _________.
The beer judge's comments said: "Tastes like _________.
The next big trend in hipster beer is __________.
This beer needs _________.
When I own a brewery, I'm only going to make _________ with _________.
Why am I hungover?
1000 IBU's
A broken pump
A hop rocket made of burlap sacks and deer antlers
A lawnmower beer made with real lawnmowers
A leaky wellie
A mighty krausen
A perfectlyformed pellicle
A pretzel, two cheeseburgers, and an entire roast chicken on a cocktail skewer
A Pumpkin Ale served in a hand carved gourd

A stuck mash
A stupid amount of hops
A sweaty dachshund
A woman who can handle a double IPA like a boss
A women's drinking society and knitting circle
Accidental sours
An impressive Braggot
An unpaid intern
Another damn IPA
Beer sharts
Belgians
Borrowing an oxygen stone from a fishtank
Botanicals
Carefully cultivated beard yeast
Cascadian Dark Ale
Cat piss
Cleaning out the mash tun
Cocoa Nibs
Coffee beans that have been shit out by weasels
Drinking Responsibly
Entering a beer in the wrong style category
Finings made from fish guts
First wort hopping
Forgetting to take the specific gravity reading
Goats Cheese
Going on a brewery tour and not drinking any beer
Gurgling that just won't quit
Human spit
Imploding your new fermentation vessel
Last minute substitutions
Lobster ale
London Murkys
Making the same pale ale forever and ever until you die
Mank
MORE HOPS!!!
Mouthfeel
My traumatic childhood
Not true to style
One million IPA's that all taste the same
Peanut Butter
Pickle juice
Pine needles
REINHEITSGEBOT
Running out of sanitizer on brew day
Sexy barnyard aroma
Sheep shit
Spray balls
Statistical process control charts

Sticky mango goodness
Sweaty socks
Sweet, sweet revenge
That moldy grain smell
The finest Irish potatoes
The tears of a thousand homebrewers
Throwing an entire pizza in the mash
Uncontrolled temperature fluctuations
When your only hop supplier is out of hops
Whiskey casks
Yeast infections gone wild
Tired of London
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/luckyegg/tired-of-london-the-party-game-for-miserable-londo
The party game for miserable Londoners.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on June 30, 2017 raising £5,282 with 198 backers.
A first date in London should always involve _______.
Can you please sponsor me? I'm running the London Marathon to raise money for victims of ______.
Coming up on ITV2: Celebrity _______.
Did you hear what that MP tried to claim on his expenses?
Did you see what won the Turner Prize this year?
Every Londoner's day starts the same way: _______.
Every night the Queen dreams about ______.
Everyone moves to London for the same reason: ______.
For 'Dry January' I'm giving up alcohol and ______.
For a genuinely scary Halloween costume, dress up as ______.
Have I told you about my Kickstarter campaign? I've invented a new type of ______.
Have you heard what the big trend in Shoreditch is there days?
Have you heard what the Daily Mail is now saying gives you cancer?
Have you seen the British Museum's new exhibit? The one all about the history of ______.
I don't give money to the homeless, they would just spend it on _______.
I had the worst journey, my Uber driver wouldn't stop talking about ______.
I heard that ISIS are planning to hide bombs inside ______.

I just got back from London Fashion Week, and apparently the big look next Summer is '______ chic'.
I like to tell tourists that Nelson's Column was built to commemorate ______.
I move to London for one reason and one reason only: _______.
I saw this amazing new band in Camden. They had a weird name, something like ______.
I saw this fabulous new play in the West End all about ______.
I went looking for Pokemon™ and all I found was _______.
I went to this hipster restaurant where all the food is served on ______ instead of plates.
I'm famous on Instagram for my artistic photos of ______.
If Dickens were alive today, I'm sure he'd write the most wonderful novel about ______.
In Katie Hopkins' latest column she says some really mean things about ______.
London would be a much nicer place if the council banned ______.

My London friends and I mostly bond over our shared love of ______.
Next from E.L. James: Fifty Shades of ______.
Part of Regents Canal was dredged to other day, you'll never believe what they found at the bottom.
Researchers at University College London spent £5,000,000 last year studying the science behind _______.
Sorry I'm late. Long story, but it involves ______.
The best thing I looted during the 2011 riots?
The perfect way for a Londoner to unwind after work involves _______.
The quickest way to a London girl's heart is ______.
The real reason Hitler bombed London? He hated ______.
The reason I didn't get a second date was probably something to do with the incident with the _______.
The ultimate Christmas gift for any Londoner?
There's a new dating app that matches people on their taste in ______.
There's nothing that annoys a Londoner more than ______.
This is your driver speaking. I would like to remind you that _____ is banned on all London Underground
trains.
Today on Jeremy Kyle: "My boyfriend won't admit that he had sex with ______!"
Underground workers have announced a 24 strike. What are they protesting against?
Want more matches on Tinder™? Make sure your bio mentions how much you like ______.
What are you guaranteed to see on the Northern Line on a Friday night?
What did I bring my work colleagues back from holiday?
What do Londonders fear the most?
What does South London do better than North London?
What is Sadiq Khan's guilty pleasure?
What should be number one on Tripadvisor®'s 'Top 10 things to do in London?'
What's now politically incorrect according to The Guardian?
When a man is tired of London he is tired of _______. Samuel Johnson
When Jeremy Corbyn is Prime Minister, there will be free ______ for everyone!
You can get a degree in anything these days, even _______.
You can get anything for a quid in Poundland®, even ______.
You can't visit London without getting a photo of _______.
You'll never guess what the toy was inside my Kinder Egg®.
A 3am Tinder® booty call.

A badly drawn cock and balls.
A bar full of awful people.
A cheeky Nando's.
A colonic irrigation.
A craft beer called 'Otter's Scrotum' or something.
A daddy long legs.
A dead pigeon floating on the Thames.
A delicious sandwich.
A deportation raid.
A fox attacking a small child.
A fried chicken shop that looks a bit like KFC® but isn't.
A Greggs sausage roll.
A grown man commuting to work on a child's scooter.
A hipster praying that beards never go out of fashion because he doesn't want his girlfriend to know how
ugly he is underneath his.
A horny squirrel.
A lost 73 year old South Korean tourist who can't speak any English.
A massage parlour that offers 'extras'.
A missing child.
A nice meal with friends ruined by an argument over the bill.
A night out in Infernos.
A nose full of black snot.
A person under a train.
A pigeon with a gammy leg.
A pointless pop up thing, with a secret location for no reason, probably on the rooftop of a car park, tickets
£65.
A seagull pooing down the back of your neck.
A sexual encounter in a public toilet.
A spider crawling into your mouth when you sleep.
A standing ovation.
A suspicious package.
A trip to Brixton McDonalds® at 3am.
A weekend in the countryside.
A worrying amount of gin.
A worryingly cheap 'all you can eat' restaurant.
Affordable housing.
An assassination attempt by a mysterious Russian billionaire.
An unnecessarily aggressive bouncer overcompensating for his tiny little willy.
Angrily tweeting at Southern Rail.
Antibiotic-resistant STDs.
Anyone who lives outside of the M25.
Anything to ease the pain.
Arab billionaires.
Avoiding conversation with all other humans.
Being attacked in a park.
Being chatted up on public transport.
Being crushed under the wheels of a bus.
Being judged on what job you do.
Being nice.
Being passive-aggressive.
Being pestered for money by an aggressive alcoholic.
Being punched in the face.
Being too busy for a lunch break.
Bin juice.
Bloody students!
Boris Johnson bumbling his way through an incredibly serious geopolitical crisis.
Brexit.
Brunch.
Buy one get one free' meal vouchers.
Casual racism.
Catching a disease from rat urine.
Chain restaurants.Buses terminating early.
Checking the playground for needles.
Cheese.
Childhood knife crime.
Chinatown.
Class warfare.
Clouds.
Cockfosters.
Committing an unspeakable crime.
Correcting an American tourist's pronounciation of place names.
Creepy old men.
Dangerous levels of air pollution.
Danny Dyer.
Defecating down an alley.
Dog poo.
Doing a little sick down your top.
Eating from a bin.
Estate agents.
EU regulations.
Feeding the ducks.
Fighting someone because they support a different football team to you.
Fish and chips.
Flirting with your Uber driver.
Gentrifying a poor area.
Getting a boner at work.
Going for a pint or ten.
Having a pint with Nigel Farage.
Immigration.
Jack the Ripper.
Jellied eels.
Jeremy Corbyn.
Ketamine.
Loneliness.
Luxury flats that you'll never be able to afford.
M&M's® World.
MI5 changing its threat level to 'critical'.
Missing your tube and seeing there's a three minute wait until the next one and wondering why the
universe hates you so much.
Moving to a cheaper place in Zone 4.
My landlord.
Netflix and chill.
Northerners.
Not minding the gap.
Organic heroine.
Paying £6 for a pint.
Paying £700 a month for a single room in Zone 3.
Paying 50p to use the toilet.
Playing your music out loud on the bus because you've got such good taste in music and you just want to
educate the people around you.
Political correctness gone mad!
Posing like the Beatles on Abbey Road.
Presuming a stranger is mentally ill because they started a conversation with you.
Prince Philip saying something racist.
Puddles of vomit sliding around the top deck of a night bus.
Pushing someone in front of the tube just to see what it feels like.
Queuing.
Racist incidents on public transport.
Rats!
Receiving a crushing review in the Evening Standard.
Regret. So much regret.
Remembering all the good work that Jimmy Savile did for charity.
Riding the underground with no trousers on.
Running through fields of wheat with Theresa May.
Saying sorry when you're not sorry.
Secretly resenting your baby.
Seeing a dog on the tube.
Seeing your dad on Grindr™.
Sitting next to David Miliband on the Central Line.
Sleeping with your boss at the Christmas party.
Slowly unleashing a fart over a three minute period.
Smiling.
Snorting cocaine at a private members' club.
Spending the weekend arguing in IKEA®.
Stabbing someone in a gang initiation ritual.
Standing on the wrong side of the escalator.
Strangers grinding up against you on public transport.
Suggesting a board game night because you have no money.
Talking about how much you hate your job.
Tedious discussions about house prices.
Telling your workmates you had a really fun weekend but really you just sat alone in your room, crying.
Terrorism.
That cafeé that only sells cereal.
That one friend from school who you don't really have anything in common with anymore and you wish
they's stop haning out with you.
The cast of Made in Chelsea.
The Croydon cat killer.
The English Defence League.
The foul aftertaste that comes after eating that pasty you bought at the train station.
The ghost of a small Victorian child.
The Great Plague.
The Heathrow Airport expansion.
The hunky French guy from First Dates.
The might River Thames!
The North London liberal media elite.
The sweet smell of urine.
Tourists with selfie sticks.
Trafficked sex workers.
Triggering Article 50.
Urinating in a red phone box.
Vegan options.
Wetting yourself on the London Eye.
White guilt.
Wishing you were never born.
Wondering if all the mice on the Underground got together they'd be strong enough to push a tube train.
Wondering if all this is worth it.
Wondering if she's pregnant or just fat.
Wondering what the neighbours are doing up there.
Wondering who's on the other side of the glory hole.
Your mother visiting for the weekend.
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Cards Against Grif
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1438142860/a-bigger-better-grifball-booth-at-rtx-2014
Given out to those that supported GrifballHub's Kickstarter for A Bigger, Better Grifball Booth at
RTX 2014 at the $115 level. Also given away as special prizes at RTX 2014.
Created by Redditor Kalbelgarion.
___ for league administrator!

___: It's a legitimate strategy.
Betrayals are like ___.
Grifball! The best sport since ___.
GrifballHub at RTX will be sponsored by ___.
I missed the pass because of ___.
I quit! Have fun with ___.

In 50 years, what I'll remember most about Grifball is ___.
In Halo 5, ___ and ___ will replace hammers and swords.
My wishlist for the next Halo game includes dedicated servers, spectator mode, and ___.
RIP ___.
The key to winning a Grifball championship is ___.
What makes Grifballers rage?
Why did we just get 9-0'd?
Why was I banned from GrifballHub?
A betrayal from bs angel.

A losing season.
A pair of rock-hard Grifballs.
An Australian host.
An Olympic gold medal in celebratory crouching.
An unstoppable host.
Believing gaming skill is related to your sexual preferences.
Bonk betrayals.
Bridging for host.
Burnie Burns.
Change of any kind.
Convincing friends and family that Grifball is a legitimate sport.

Dedication and the lack of a social life.
Drunken teammates.
Getting launched into the truck on Foundry.
Getting the other team banned.
God-punching three tanks while screaming "LEROY JENKINS!"
Goddamn matchmaking randoms.

Grifball plushies!
GRIFBALL!!!
Ill-timed hammer betrayals.
Kevin Franklin.
Lag.
Moonwalking to the plant...and missing.
Passing the bomb like the Harlem Globetrotters.
Passive-aggressively posting in the chat box.
Pitching a tent in the enemy spawn.
Playing Grifball while shitting in a bucket.
Realizing that when you lose it's lag and when you win it's all skill.
RTX.
Running around while singing "Grifball for the Win."
Spending four hours looking for a neutral host and then not playing the game because someone
has to go to bed.
Spending Friday nights watching live-streamed Grifball.
Sword tanking.
The energy sword.
The gravity hammer.
Unexpected rocket shoes.
Using 13 alternate gamertags.
Wednesday Night Grifbrawl.
Wilted Green
http://www.wiltedgreen.com/
A party game for the eco-cynic in all of us.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on May 25, 2016 raising $6,689 with 170 backers.
Released on August 25, 2016.
_________ is the example of greenwashing you least expected.

When Earth becomes uninhabitable, humans will search for a planet with a more abundant
supply of _________.
Following the strongest hurricane on record, affected residents chose to rebuild using _________.
Indigenous peoples have been forced from their land to make way for the production of _________.
_________ represents the end result of decades of international collaboration on environmental
protection.
The Resource Wars of 2055 will be fought over _________.
I love my eco-friendly _________.
The decline in oil prices is directly correlated with the rise of _________.
The hardest part of living in a tiny house is _________.
Our climate is changing, _________ is proof.
Leonardo DiCaprio's next Oscar acceptance speech will highlight the plight of _________.
The U.S. Green Building Council's next version of LEED will certify _________.
The recent string of extreme weather events is said to have been caused by a combination of
_________ and _________.
Next year's Toyota Prius will run entirely on _________.
All humanity needs is a never ending supply of _________.
The key to a low-carbon lifestyle is _________.
Sustainability is best demonstrated by the symbiotic relationship between _________ and __________.
In 50 years, everyone will own _________.
There's a two-page spread on __________ in ExxonMobil's annual sustainability report.
_________ should be eliminated for the sake of our children's children.
_________ is the least compostable thing on Earth.
Adding _________ to your diet will stimulate the economy while protecting the environment.
Climate deniers are now staying that _________ isn't real.
The best explanation for honeybee colony collapse disorder is _________.
_________ is an unavoidable signal that we're headed toward societal collapse.
_________ isn't recyclable.
_________ is the latest trend in eco-tourism.
Our company's greenhouse gas inventory revealed that _________ was our largest source of
emissions.
_________ is destroying our planet. _________ will save it.
There's a new highway lane that only allows for cars with _________.
If it wasn't for _________, there would be unlimited _________ on Earth.
Don't worry about destroying _________. You can just buy offsets.
Our best hope for a sustainable future is _________.
Contrary to popular belief, _________ is now healthy for you.
The next big sustainability idea is Uber for _________.
My custom modified hybrid car features _________.
Hippies are to _________ as Millenials are to _________.
The best part about _________ is that I can use it as much as I want without having any impact on
the environment.
I'm cutting back on _________ to limit my carbon footprint.
_________ demonstrates undying commitment to protecting and preserving the environment.
Glacial meltwater
Selfies with Smokey the Bear
Sustaina-bros
Permaculture design workshops
Harvesting your homemade kambucha
Litterbugs
Forgetting to bring your reusable bag to the organic co-op
A 19-year-old canvasser with a nose ring
Placenta smoothies
The Master Cleanse
A "my other car is a bike" bumper sticker
A collection of anti-fracking buttons
A dreadlocked beard
Worms escaped from the vermicompost bin
Chacos
The future depicted in Mad Max Fury Road
The world's depleting fish stocks
A tree planted on Arbor Day that dies from neglect
Reclaimed wood
A closet full of canvas tote bags
Green hard hat-wearing protestors
Cecil the Lion
A polar bear floating on a melting block of ice
The World Wildlife Fund panda
A Patagonia puffy jacket
Environmental slacktivism
Dumpster dining
Buying a goat instead of a lawnmower
Second-hand menstrual cups
The stakeholder you forgot to include
CFL bulbs as Christmas presents
Getting a bit turned on by Captain Planet's abs
Adding ideas to the "bike rack"

A green roof that no one will ever see
Organic hemp rolling papers
Vegan farts
Free range children
The acoustic guitarist that plays every week at the local farmers market
Eco-savior complex
The science that inspired The Day After Tomorrow
The Lorax
No Impact Man
Electric car charging stations

WALL-E
Wheatgrass shots
A moldy Nalgene bottle
A 700-year-old redwood
Drilling in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge
A 25-year-old pair of Birkenstocks
The tragedy of the commons
The Greenpeace fleet of ships
A Ralph Nader Bernie Sanders presidency
Our children's children's children
Single origin coffee
Taking international flights to global climate change conferences
Adding "eco-" to the beginning of anything
American muscle cars
Protestors chained to a tree
Tree people
Houses with four-car garages
A boutique eco-hotel on the Las Vegas Strip
A warehouse converted to lofts that rent at four times your budget
Saving toenail clippings for future use
A $22 meal from the Whole Foods salad bar
Emails from the Sierra Club
The smell of an unbathed hippie
A smug Prius driver
A climate rally attended by eight people
Canadian tar sands
Anthropomorphized animals
Enviro-chic clothing
Faux leather
Granola
OPEC
Saudi oil money
A lush, green golf course in the middle of the desert
Taking group showers to save water
Vegan pizza
The Paleo diet
Barefoot running
Folding bicycles
Kale chips
Strip malls as far as the eye can see
Dennis Hopper's character in Waterworld
Artisanal handicrafts fashioned from driftwood and sphagnum moss
Batty from FernGully: The Last Rainforest
The crying Native American
Dr. Bronner's soap
Seventh Generation products
An injured cyclist laying face-down on the street
People that refuse to recycle
The environment
The last nothern white rhino
A tiny tree growing out of some dirt in the palm of someone's hand
A blue herron covered in crude oil
Al Gore's permanent look of disapproval
Doing my part by recycling a plastic bottle
A strongly worded letter condemning developed nations for excessive emissions
The next ice age
Ecoterrorism
Factory farming
The spread of vector-borne disease
Homebrew
Pickling your own vegetables
Storing your leftovers in Mason jars
Clean coal
Rachel Carson turning over in her grave
A machine that turns pee into drinking water
A device to capture human-produced methane
Cow farts
The Great Pacific garbage patch
The hottest year on record
The world's shrinking glaciers
BP's Chief Sustainability Officer
Tom's Shoes
Getting run over by a hybrid vehicle
Organic cannabis
Putting a brick in your toilet tank to lower your gallons per flush
Getting a flat tire on my fixie
Riding the subway while a creepy stranger grazes your shoulder with his fingers
Leonard DiCaprio
Living off the land
A Subaru Outback with Colorado license plates
Carpooling with a smelly neighbor
Fair-trade condoms
The eco-utopia
McDonald's hamburgers
Ethically raised veal
Disregarding the rights of indigenous peoples
The Amazon Rainforest
Fiji Water
Letting it mellow if it's yellow
The harsh white light of compact fluorescent lightbulbs
Compostable baby diapers
A large bowl of unseasoned quinoa
Swapping out your desk chair for an exercise ball
Adding a bike lane to each of the U.S. interstate highways
China
Sustainable bamboo imported from China
Using both sides of the toilet paper to wipe your ass
ENERGY STAR-certified sex toys
60-second showers
A chia seed-infused poop
The Deepwater Horizon spill
Smoothies made by bike-powered blenders
Divestment
A change.org petition to demand change
A school bus that runs on used cooking oil
Vegans
An organic beer brewery colocated with an aquaphonic fish hatchery colocated with a goat farm
A million solar panels
A closed-loop human waste system
Tofurky
Local, organic, free-range, humanely-slaughtered chicken
Our neighborhood coal-fired power plant
A VWtime
That turbodiesel
when Harry Reid drove an SUV across the Capitol complex to vote on a clean energy
bill
Composting toilets
Special Set
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Special
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Cards of Liberty
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/300507683/cards-of-liberty
A revolutionary game celebrating the quirks of the Founding Fathers and Mothers (of the US).
Successfully funded on September 21, 2016 raising $6,347 with 98 backers. Released on December
10, 2016
Editor Note: Contents of cards are presented here as they appear on the cards. Spelling, grammar, and
punctuation mistakes are theirs.
On the carriage ride home I regaled you with stories about ______.
It's too hot for the troops to engage so instead we'll kill some time ______.
Women aren't allowed in the taverns because they might see men ______.
After my death, I ask that you burn all my correspondence about ______.
When making uniforms for the troops I like to daydream about ______.
I'm having new wallpaper done with scenes of people ______.
Due to new army regulations, we're abandoning the practice of ______.

I set up a private orphanage to save children from ______.
I wasn't engaging in speculation, I was ______.
The ball was going well until you caught your date ______.
The British are plotting to kill Washington by ______.

Without camp followers, the army would just be a bunch of guys ______.
I bought a commemorative plate featuring ______.
I love my husband but I wish he was better at ______.
______ was the strangest thing George Washington ever asked me to do for him.
The doctor recommended bloodletting me with leeches just because I was ______.
I convinced my love to marry me by ______.
My design for the new national seal was a picture of an eagle and the phrase ______.
The latest British propaganda features me ______.
This new government is trying to tax my right to ______.

I obtained my freedom by ______.
Congress turned down my request to be made an officer because of how I was ______.
I'm running for congress because I'm tired of politicians wasting money ______.
You won't believe it, but George Washington just told me the dirtiest joke about ______!
I secured foreign aid by ______.
______ is an unalienable right.
We cracked the Liberty Bell by ______.
______ is treason against the Crown!

My spies get in contact with one another by ______.
The best way to cure a broken heart: ______.
I spent all day deciphering this note just to find out that it's only about ______.
I dressed like a man so I could enjoy ______.
In spite of my many accomplishments, I am best remembered for ______.
True freedom is ______.

I smuggled goods by ______.
They gave me the title of First American for ______.

Nothing's more American than ______.
People paid me to move away after I wrote an article about ______.
The press was right about one thing. You were ______.
People have written about my life as a metaphor for ______.
You lost the presidential election because of a scandal about ______.
While in France I earned a bad reputation for ______.
The American Revolution is really about ______.
I tried to convince Washington to write something about ______ into his farewell address.
As aide-de-camp my biggest responsibility is ______.
My mother accused me of ______ with no evidence.
We call it taxation without representation but the British call it ______.
I wrote an erotic poem about ______.

We voted to erect a plaque to mark the spot where you were ______.
The Federalists compromised and gave the Democratic-Republicans ______ in exchange for ______.
I kept being asked to leave the country because I was ______.
The greatest danger to our new nation is ______.
What's the secret ingredient in my recipe for ale ______?
I'm standing in a boat crossing the Delaware on Christmas when I'd really rather be ______.
To secure a good harvest, Poor Richard's Almanac suggests ______.
I spent all night in the tavern bragging about ______.
The peace treaty included a clause forgiving ______.
The British are ______!
A new drinking game: take a flaming shot every time you see someone ______.
Light one lantern if the British are coming by land and two if they are ______.
Letting your friend hide bodies in your basement

Using your underwear to send coded messages about the British
The magnets you put on your stomach that did not help at all
Being unable to tie yourself to the mainmast because it's covered in tar
Drinking coffee out of spite
Wishing that dogs did not exist anymore
Giving the president an alligator to keep in his bathtub
Accidentally greeting a pertrait
Asserting that all men are tyrants
Being jealous of the guy you nominated to write the Declaration
Drinking wine and then tea and then rum and repeat until your fever is cured
Using the nation's capital as a bargaining chip
Advocating sex with the elderly
Those morons who edit your work when it's already perfect on the first draft
Being asked to deliver a letter to your closest friend and maybe lover from the wife he never told you
about
Making a map of your brother's turnip field
Melting a statue of the king into bullets to shoot at his troops
Hiring a guy to swear at the troops for you in English
Trying to remove C, J, W, X, and Y from the alphabet
Spontaneous bleeding that cures all your ills
Partying so hard that you lose your wallet on the Fourth of July
Getting yourself electrocuted to prove a point
Disingenuously claiming to speak for the common man
That stupid clause that spying on the British is not the same as taking up arms against them
Offering beer to whomever votes for you
Your father telling you to use flour when you run out of hair powder
My friend, whom I shot

The sons of a war hero and a president falling in love
Publishing an autobiographical novella about your extramaital affair
Not forgetting that I ______ ______ ______ ______ _______.

Intentionally wearing the same cologne as your boss
Being unable to make it as a businessman so you're forced to give up your dreams and become an
artist instead of the other way around
Reminding your friend to tell girls about the size of your, ahem, nose
Taking a nap with your boss on his coat
Writing bitter poetry after you get dumped
Calling your boss your dad
Bringing your husband with you on dates with your new boyfriend so it's not weird
The Coast Guard you founded to fight against the pirates
Teaching yourself Spanish in nineteen days
Explaining that it's a good thing your son doesn't like girls because that way he'll keep his grades up
Being told you should end up at the bottom of the river and then mysteriously it comes true
Refusing to mourn for a founder's death
Hitting your head on the ceiling because they make you sleep in the attic
Showing up for the first day of work in a belled sleigh and fur coat with your fancy dog and two male
lovers
Inviting your friend to a threesome on your wedding night
50,000 militiamen letting 180 British soldiers take the state capital
The two grizzly bears President Jefferson gave you that you thought were tame
Daring your friend to prove how close he is with Washington by slapping him on the back knowing
he'll do it and regret it forever
Mistaking giant ground sloths for lions
Not aiding the French

Stripping down naked and standing in front og your open window to take your morning breath
Having your most popular work derided as a "crapulous mass"
Forgetting all the love letters from your wife in your desk when you move
Writing a bunch of things to say to your crush and then forgetting it all and just mumbling garbage
when you try to recite it
Writing your dad the President of the Continental Congress to ask if it's spelled "gally" or "galley"
Making jokes about God at the Constitutional Convention
Drinking hot chocolate with a raw egg cracked in
Being able to ride from Boston to Philadelphia by the light of your burning effigies
Naming your son Georges Washington
Your dog named Satan
Being called "His Rotundity"
Getting fluent in codes and ciphers:
381 449 134 381 139 235

That time you were supposed to go to Sicily with your in-laws but instead you abandoned your
pregnant wife and hopped on a ship to America to fight the British
Being famous primarily for having a really big signature and being a prominent tea smuggler
Making anatomical drawings of turtles
Keeping a bust of your rival in your foyer opposite a (much fancier) bust of yourself
Being named Gouverneur and never being a governer and taking advantage of being known as
Governor Gouverneur
Calling someone ugly and unfashionable and meaning it as a compliment
Keeping a diary of your sexual conquests
Excitedly telling your father about bathing in the river with your bros
Breaking your wrist at forty-four while trying to impress a girl half your age
Taking on the persona of a middle-aged woman
Being so popular that ladies style their hair to match your hat
Serving oyster, your favorite flavor of ice cream
Rumors that you lost your leg while running from your girlfriend's husband
Saving an entire brigade and never getting a thank you
Making someone paint you a life-sized portrait of your friend from just your spoken description
Your hat getting wet and staining everything you own
Being so excited to hear that you have a child that you forget to find out if it's a boy or a girl
Having a party for the officers where no one wearing pants is admitted
Writing a letter so mean you have to ask for it back
Picking out your daughter's husband and then later telling him you wish he would die
Being universally loved and not understanding why no one else is as loved as you are
Being so desperate you try to burn down a stone house held by the British
Spying on the British while taking their inseam
Forgiving
Writing your long
a very idiotand
husband after he
somewhat publicly
pointless humiliated
rambling you
letter and ruined
home to youryour
fatherlifeabout boats and
water depth and how said depth impacts how close said boats can get to land how therefore it Is
important to know how close one might put military structures to the edge of a bay because it is
important that they remain out of cannon fire and by the way you had a shotgun wedding sorry dad
bye
Hiding the silver, offering your guests breakfast, and then fleeing the British on foot through the
woods
Throwing a tantrum on the battlefield when your side is losing
Running a safe house for gay youth
Flirting only using well-placed punctuation

Asking your sister if you can borrow her husband
Writing a letter to the Royal Academy of Brussels about the benefits of farting
Inventing the swivel chair
Being so sick of the post office opening your mail that you invent the wheel cipher
Having a horse named Peacock
Living with the name Button Gwinnett and being a signer of the Declaration of Independence only to
die in a duel after a failed invasion of East Florida after the Revolutionary War breaks out and before
you can do anything meaningful or significant
Being so in love that you forger the password to get back into camp
Taking the name of "Humphrey Ploughjogger" as your pseudonym
Challenging someone twice your age to a duel over your boss' honor
Being accused of trying to start your own country and call yourself emperor
Being so hot, sexy, and talented that even your enemies love you
Making macaroni and cheese for every guest because you got a macaroni maker and are super proud
of it
Vandalizing a chair in Shakespeare's house and keeping the chunks as souvenirs
Waking up at four every morning to record the temperature
Fighting for liberty, winning the war, and still being systematically oppressed
Keeping a portrait of your favorite authoress in your bedroom
Sending your friend a replacement squirrel
Comparing soldiers to beavers
That moment when you realize you're surrounded but manage to slip out anyway so the British fight
themselves
Charcoal, rouge, and lead paint: a must-have beauty arsenal
Needing constant attention and affection or your health suffers
Picking up your own horse from under you
Becoming your friend's uncle-in-law
Thanking your friend's father for procreating
80,000 people greeting you at the harbor
Viciously gossiping about everyone
Being accused of being un-American for wearing imported fabrics but this suit was made in
Connecticut, thanks
Accidentally breaking up your girlfriend's parents
Smutty fanfiction about your love life written fifty years after your death
Being unable to challenge someone to a duel because he is old and also the President of the United
States
Accidentally legalizing the filibuster
Inventing orange soda so people will take their medicine
Accidentally becoming a pirate
Meeting your future wife while stuffing your face with bread
Sending your wife detailed instructions about manure and then getting grumpy when she doesn't
write you back immediately
Warning against the dangers of a two-party system
Seeing your friend at a party and you're both wearing red how awkward
Reminiscing about the hilarious time your boss walked in on you impersonating him
Having to climb backwards out of a window to avoid looking like a coward
Hosting a fake seé ance that is then taken seriously by the press
Loudly expressing your dislike of pickled olives
Stroking a bust of your rival's face
Your belief that birds killed by electricity taste better
Getting shot in the wrist so you can't fire a gun and switching to a tomahawk because you're just that
badass
A letter so boring you fall asleep writing it
Having no shoes in the coldest winter in 150 years
Writing yourself an etiquette book
Being the first sovereign nation to recognize the new United States and then later having your land
taken by them anyway
Bringing the troops food and then preventing them from killing themselves with it
Running a stud farm for mules
Performing surgery on yourself so people don't find out that you're not a man
Writing a letter to brag about how rude you were
Writing your autobiography in the third person
Dramatically quitting your boring office job
Artificial coffee made out of burnt bread
A strong preference for wine that has been aged at sea
Water, a drink only fit for animals
A bunch of angry Canadians burning down your nation's capital
Asking George Washington if you can visit your girlfriend only to have him laugh at you
Drilling your troops in plain view of the British
Constantly asking your wife if she's forgiven you yet
Soliciting designs for the national seal and then rejecting them all
Throwing tea into the harbor only to realize that no one cares because they did it in Boston first
The turkey, a bird of courage
Shrub: a drink made from vinegar and fruit
Fainting into your husband's arms when he returns a hero
Falling on your face at a ball and having Marie Antoinette and the entire French court laugh at you
Painting a portrait of your girlfriend with your own blood
Challenging your friend to a duel over a girl he isn't dating
A congressional hottie
Buying a book criticizing your administration just so you can write notes in the margins about how
it's wrong
Printing a list of two hundred synonyms for getting drunk
Calling the prince a moron to his face
Getting drunk and losing your bank account information while being Secretary of the Treasury
Your life mask almost becoming your death mask
Being a prominent sex symbol in the country you founded
Sadly complaining
Painting your horsethat women
white, don'tits
brushing like olderand
teeth, mensaddling it with a leopard skin edged in gold
braiding
Getting a hot military man ten years your junior as your new boyfriend
Being forced to share a bed with Benjamin Franklin --for science
Performing your mad rhymes for the president himself
Saying that you want to die by lightning and then having it actually come true
Having really overdue library books because no one wants to tell the president to return them
Becoming the third richest man in France by the age of twelve
Teaching George Washington about the toothbrush
Being the only daughter who got her father's blessings
Kitesurfing
Being a member in a political party that is working to get naturalized citizens such as yourself
removed from office
Literally yelling at the King of France until you get the funding you want
Complaining to your sister that her hot husband is getting fat
Getting shot five times in five battles
Erroneously being reported dead by the British
Telling your wife that you've been shot but it's a good thing
Comparing yourself to a king but then taking it back
Not being allowed in the masonic cool kids club so going ahead and making your own
Sadly writing your wife that you miss her and also a weasel has eaten your wood pigeon and her eggs
Comparing the sizes of European and American weasels
The moose antler that convinced people your country is better
Getting your hat knocked off by an angry Frenchman
Two half-sisters, both alike in dignity but one is the mistress of the house and the other is a slave
Actually escaping suspicion because you are black, score

Being sent a giant wheel of cheese as a thank you
The first sex scandal in American History
The irony of your future murderer talking down someone from killing you
Getting a gift from the president because your husband was a jerk
Learning Hebrew at the Jewish school because the Christian one won't let you in
Blowing off work to read books with your wife
Disappointing people when they find out that you're not your famous cousin
Not translating what people say so you can flirt without competition
Almost getting arrested for wearing the wrong color
Hating the sea and the sea hating you
Challenging every member of the Republican Party to a duel
Chasing your Secretary of the Treasury from the White House with a pair of tongs
Faking a mental breakdown so your husband can flee the country
A room full of crackers and butter
Dressing for battle like a duck in a crossbelt
Firing the entire militia right before the British arrive, whoops
Your affinity for the common North American skugg

Having a crush on your friend's wife
Being incompetent and blaming your incompetence on others
Creating false teeth that actually work
Painting your study lurid green because it's the most expensive color on the market
Having your life be largely defined by your death
Immunizing your troops agaisnt troops against smallpox without telling those lobsterbacks
Having the only copy of your research mistakenly stolen and then thrown away
Tying your sash around your bulllet wound so you can keep fighting
Awkwardly
Being one ofgetting
the mostpromotoed over your
talented chefs in theold military
country instructor
and still having to run away to obtain your
freedom
A nativity camel rented at the cost of eighteen shillings
Accidentally winning the first skirmish of the Revolution
Putting boats in your hair
Ending your relationship via lengthy allegory
Writing fifty-one essays instead of eight because you're such an overachiever
Trying to immigrate on a burning ship
Having an embarrassingly small staff compared to your political rival's
Asking your dad if you can study geography only to have him remind you to work on your baking
Planting thirty foot spikes in the river to spear British ships
Introducing tofu to the United States
Spending a ridiculous amount of money on a coconut
Ambushing the British, stealing their papers, and then escaping suspicion because you're just women
A desparate lack of gunpowder
Not having a good wingman
Hosting
Throwing a dinner party
politicized for theparties
dinner Chief of
forthe
theSix Nations at
Americans the age
while yourofBritish
fourteen
husband is deployed
overseas
Getting fed up with men dithering around and launching a rescue mission for your friend yourself
Changing the rules to screw over that coworker you hate
Making fake macaroni using crackers instead of pasta
Waging and losing a war against bedbugs
Spending a fourth of your annual salary on a bust of yourself
Requesting to be paid in alcohol for your design of the American Flag
Telling your wife military secrets because you can't keep your mouth shut
Quitting as Washington's aide-de-camp after only nineteen days
Getting a political official removed from office via playwrighting
Having your glory
role inposthumously
the Revolutionstolen
largelybyoverlooked
Paul Reverein part because people kept misspelling your
name
The look on your face when a lady cleans up after her dog with the sleeve of her gown
Blaming your gout on not getting laid
Bragging about your delicate calves
Misplacing your youngest son for five months
Using your time as a prisoner of war to convince people to join your side
Escaping capture for treason on a ship called the HMS Vulture
Getting shot and killed by a cannon fired in your honor
Spending years in debtor's prison until Congress remembers you're a founder and gets you out
Masterminding the Bill of Rights
Attracting so much attention that they have to break windows at the White House for more air
Spending your childhood looking for the neighborhood hyena
Scolding your troops for streaking over the town bridge
Refusing to attend your husband's inauguration
Writing tabloids
Not attending that
your are less
friend's garbagebecause
wedding than they
youseem
are trying to get him sent to France without his
bride
Buying your friend a hat
Regretfully marrying a future President of the United States
Writing in English even though you don't really know English
Threatening to raise women up in rebellion against their husbands
Writing dirty anthropological notes in your paperwork
Unsuccessfully domesticating the American bison
Wishing your troops were chameleons or bears
Being as small as half a piece of soap
A spy ring so secret we still don't know who was involved
Powdering your wig blue or pink instead of boring whites and grays
Going to New Jersey to shoot a guy
Bringing merino sheep to America
Wanting a steam-powered cheese grater
Making seventeen toasts in a row
Giving your son a detailed schedule for his every waking hour
Accidentally miswriting the alphabet:
ABCDEFGDIK
Being told that the other girls don't like you
Complaining about how these British dudes can drink more than you
Taking shots of wine
Naming laxatives after yourself
Getting rid of your real hair and covering your bald with fake hair
Encouraging people to make this guy you know King of the United States
Stealing twenty-one cannons while the British shoot at you
Wearing above-the-knee breeches to make yourself look taller
Smuggling information in your boot
Being hired to dismantle the National Bank but then deciding it's actually the greatest system ever
A thank you present of two Britsh cannons
Learning how to freeze someone to death in midsummer
Quitting your apprenticeship and becoming a fugitive
Looting Benjamin
Being sent to ParisFranklin's house
without instructions so instead of coming home you just hang out there and
complain
Refusing to die on the Fourth of July
Being so charming that you convince the British and French to get along
Being flirted with like a teenager at the age of sevety-five
Paying someone's wages because her loser boss refused to
Peeing in the dirt to make gunpowder
Refusing to attend George Washington's birthday party because you're the prsident now
Being suicidal about not being able to leave the state of Pennsylvania
Inventing wooden flippers for your hands
Not wanting to conquer Mexico
Asking if you can doodle on your father-in-law's maps
Teaching people to use bayonets as weapons rather than aas eating utensils
Being afraid to go out to dinner because you're too popular
Hiring talented and attractive young men for your secretarial staff
Getting British soldiers drunk and then holding them at gunpoint because they killed your turkey
Robbing a bank and then getting caught trying to deposit the money into your account at the very
same bank
Talking about vegetables when you can't say anything nice
The silly fad of bubbly champagne
Starting America's obsession with potatoes served in the French manner
Painting lines on the floor so people think you can afford marble
Rescuing a baby from a group of armed raiders
Becoming a member of the British government after funding the revolution against them
Getting falling down drunk to impress your brother-in-law only to find out later that he wasn't even at
the party
Refusing to forgive someone forty years after the event
Being given a salaried state position because the president enjoys reading your articles attacking his
rival
Being so hot that you're asked to stand in as Washington's body double
Angering your father-in-law to the point that he tried to get you arrested for treason
Starting a cane fight with the secretary over his depiction of you in the minutes
Getting into a fistfight on the floor of Congress
Making a friend chauffer you and your dates around because you are a terrible driver
Getting a hole blown through the wall of your favorite bar
Sending back art of yourself after you are given the bill
Convincing the court to pay someone a penny in back wages
Getting made a non-commissioned officer after you take your husband's place in battle
That damn John Jay
Having over twnety thousand bottles of wine in your personal collection at one time and insisting that
you are not a drinker
Telling your husband's mistress that her children should call you aunt
Deciding the Constitution needs to be ammended after only two months
Sending people at four in the morning to look for letters from your wife
Waking your friend to tell him that you're sailing to America, best wishes, don't tell my wife
Getting personally asked by George Washington to fund the Battle of Yorktown because you're just
that boss
Giving an impromptu sex-ed talk at dinner
Viciously rebuking your wife when she says that she misses you
Getting captured by the British after abandoning your troops to have a tryst
Keeping a portrait of your ex-boss in your dining room
Breaking your shoulder while trying to escape from a dinner party
Being carried into congress by prisoners from the local jail
Refusing to be a wedding gift
Selling your pepperpot on the streets
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Alexander Hamilton & James Madison Response
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John Quincy Adams Response
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George Washington Response
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Paul Revere Response
Paul Revere Response
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Culper's Ring Response
Marquis de Lafayette Response
John Adams Response
Thomas Jefferson Response
Abigail Adams Response
John Adams Response

Hercules Mulligan Response
James Armistead Lafayette Response
John Laurens Response
Quote by Aaron Burr Response

James Mulligan Jr & Charles Adams Response
John Church Hamilton, censoring
Charles Wilson Peale Response

Aides-de-camp Response
Maria Cosway Response
Henry Laurens Response
James Callender Response
Abigail Adams Response

Charles Wilson Peale Response


Thomas Paine Response

John Jay Response
John Adams Response
John Adams Response
John Laurens
Marquis de Lafayette
John Hancock
John Laurens
Thomas Jefferson
Gouverneur Morris
Abigail Adams
Aaron Burr
John Laurens
Thomas Jefferson
Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin
Dolly Madison
Gouverneur Morris
Aaron Burr
Thomas Jefferson
John Laurens
Baron von Steuben
John Adams
John Adams
Battle of Germantown
Hercules Mulligan
Eliza Hamilton
John Laurens
Thomas Jefferson
John Laurens
Baron von Steuben
Anjelica Schuyler Church & Alexander
Hamilton
Anjelica Schuyler Church
Benjamin Franklin
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson
Alexander Hamilton
Button Gwinnett
Alexander Hamilton
John Adams
John Laurens
Aaron Burr
John Andreé
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams & Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson
Aaron Burr
Benjamin Franklin
Thomas Paine
George Washington
Conte de Seé gur
John Adams
George Washington
Aaron Burr
James Monroe
Aaron Burr
William Hunter
Gustavus Conyngham
Benjamin Franklin
Alexander Hamilton
George Washington
Charles Wilson Peale & Thomas
Jefferson
Agrippa Hull
John Laurens
Alexander Hamilton
Henry Knox
Aaron Burr
Benjamin Franklin
Han Yerry
Samuel Kirkland
Valley Forge
George Washington
Oneida Nation
Polly Cooper
George Washington
Deborah Sampson
J. S. Eustace (to "Alexander Hamilton")
Alexander Hamilton
War of 1812
Benjamin Walker
Alexander Hamilton
Continental Congress
New Jersey Tea Party (and others)
Adrienne de Lafayette
Battle of Germantown
James Monroe
George Washington
Benjamin Franklin
Alexander Hamilton
Thomas Jefferson
George Washington
George Washington
George Washington
Theodosia Burr
John Adams, Theory of Colds
Phillis Wheatley
James Otis Jr.
George Washington
John Baker
Eliza Hamilton
Benjamin Franklin
Alexander Hamilton
John Laurens
Angelica Schuyler Church
John Laurens
John Adams
Prince Hall
James Madison
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams
Martha Jefferson & Sally Hemmings
Cato (an enslaved man spying for
Hercules Mulligan)
Alexander Hamilton
Aaron Burr negotiating between
Alexander Hamilton & James Monroe
Eliza Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
Thomas Jefferson
John Adams
Peter Stephen
Baron von Steuben
Alexander Hamilton
James Monroe
Peggy Shippen
George Washington
John Adams
Benjamin Franklin's preferred word for
"squirrel"
George Washington
Charles Lee
Paul Revere
Alexander Hamilton
Crispus Attucks
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
Hercules
George Washington
Battle of Concord
Thomas Jefferson
Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
Thomas Jefferson
Martha Laurens
Benjamin Franklin
Aaron Burr
Grace & Rachel Martin
Alexander Hamilton
Theodosia Burr Alston
Theodosia Bartow Prevost
Angelica Schuyler Church
Thomas Jefferson
Martha Jefferson Randolph
Aaron Burr
Alexander Hamilton
Francis Hopkinson
Alexander Hamilton
John Trumbull
Mary Otis Warren
Samuel Prescott
Israel Bissell
Abigail Adams
Benjamin Franklin
Alexander Hamilton
Abigail & John Adams
Haym Solomon
Benedict Arnold
Robert Morris Sr.
Robert Morris Sr.
Ann Willing Bingham
Dolly Madison
George Washington
Martha Washington
James Callender
John Laurens
John Laurens
Dolly Madison, alas!
Abigail Adams
Alexander Hamilton
George Washington
George Washington
James Madison
Culper's Ring
David Humphreys
Thomas Jefferson
Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
Alexander Hamilton
Peggy Schuyler
Alexander Hamilton
Benjamin Rush
Baron von Steuben

Alexander Hamilton & Hercules Mulligan
John Andreé
Albert Gallatin
Rochambeau
Benjamin Franklin
Benjamin Franklin
John Andreé
John Adams
James Madison
Dolly Madison
Dolly Madison
Alexander Hamilton
Well, saltpeter but close enough
John Adams
John Laurens
Benjamin Franklin
Alexander Hamilton
Baron von Steuben
Benjamin Franklin
George Washington
Nancy Morgan Hart
Issac Davis
George Washington
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson
Peggy Schuyler
John Barker Church
Eliza Hamilton
Philip Freneau
Gouverneur Morris
James Seale
Alexander Hamilton
Fraunces Tavern
George Washington
Patrick Henry
Mary Ludwig Hays McCauley
The Democratic-Republican Party
Thomas Jefferson
Adrienne de Lafayette
James Madison
Haym Solomon
John Adams
John Adams
Charles Lee
Alexander Hamilton
Francis Marion
Benjamin Franklin
Ona Judge
Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume One
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/492040397/cons-against-our-sanity
The #1 con-game of the year - perfect for your con experience.

Successfully funded on July 13, 2017 raising $16,140 with 212 backers. Released Dec 2017.
_____ should never be allowed in a convention.

_____, now happening at a convention near you!
_____. Worst Decision I've ever made.
_____. An experience I‘ll never forget.
______ sucks some major dick.
After last year, the con got an ambulance on standby in case _____ happened again.
Attention all guests: We regret to inform you that the game room will be closed for the rest of the
convention due to ____.
At the con I decided that ______ was a good idea. Go me.
Come place your bets, ladies and gentlemen! _____ vs. _____. Who will win?
Follow me at: _____.tumblr.com
I got a refund when my favorite voice actor’s panel was canceled for a three-hour seminar on _____.
I won the cosplay contest because I had (a) _____.
If you see _____, say nothing and drink to forget.
My entire convention weekend was ruined by _____.
Next year’s main panel: _____, Confessions of a Life-Long Con Owner.
One day when I have kids, I’ll be able to sit them all down and tell them the story of _____.
Please go like my page “_____ Cosplay”. It’s got almost 100 followers!
Scott McNeil said he wouldn't show up to another convention if _____ were there.
Screw the rules! I have _____!
There are conventions themed around gaming, anime, and comic books. But you wouldn't believe
what the next convention’s theme is…
What did I forget to pack for this convention?
What do you mean they ran out of ____? This after-party sucks!
What the fuck is wrong with my life?
When I witnessed someone _____ this morning, I knew it wouldn’t be your average con.
You can't say you've had the full convention experience until you’ve seen _____ and _____ .
A body pillow that’s been used so may times, it stands up on its own.
A con stage show that the cast put their heart and soul and months of work into, only to get 2 hours to
perform to an audience of around 25 people.
A Cosplay Elitist.
A girl that just actually really doesn’t like you.
A parent chaperoning their child not quite knowing what to think about all of this.
A small spin-off con that fails.
A wardrobe malfunction.
A Yiff Party!
Accidentally breaking a piece of your prop and calling it battle damage.
Actual, real katana duels between trained professionals with deadly weapons... and you’re pretty sure
you can take them both at the same time.
Alcohol.
An outfit that you spend hundreds of dollars and weeks of work on, only to wear it for a couple of
hours.
Anime crap.
Assuming all girls who go to high school are over 18.
Attention whores.
Being Murdered.
Being offended by literally nothing.
Being pretty fuckin’ desperate.
Being too old for this shit.
Bishounen Hitler.
Blowjobs.
Broken Dreams.
Burlesque shows. Like pole dancing — but classier.
Con drama.
Cosplayers.
Cosplaying something obscure, and then getting mad when nobody recognizes you.
Creepy photographers.
Crippling depression.
Crossplay.
Dead Memes.
Deadpool Cosplayers.
Delicious Dark Side Cookies.
Depressing cafe maids.
Donald Trump.
Dropping out of school and quitting your job to go become a professional cosplayer.
Existing.
Explaining your cosplay to polite but noticeably uncomfortable tourists.
Floating in the Dead Sea, eating McDonald’s French fries, and being the saltiest bitch there is.
Furries.
Getting the con crud.
Getting herpes from the Pocky Game.
Getting high off of life! ( and a bit of crack cocaine)
Glorious Butts.
Having an epileptic seizure at the con rave.
Having to Google it.
Hentai.
Hookers & Blow.
Indisputable scientific evidence that running like a ninja makes you faster.
Introducing your parents to your body pillow girlfriend.
It was me, Dio!

Just Batman.
Making Cons Great Again.
Nina Tucker, American Kennel Club winner for Mixed Breed.
Non Consensual Glomping.
Not breaking character until you are getting arrested.
Not checking in your ”totally fake gun.”
Not eating anything all day, and when you feel like you are about to faint, you eat a cube of cheese.
Not sealing your body paint.
Overpriced food.
Passing out.
Picking up chicks at a con.
Praying the gay away.

Pretty boys.
Pretty girls way out of your league.
Putting minimal effort into cosplay by wearing costumes bought from Walmart.
Religious protesters.
Renting a convention center, hiring staff, and booking celebrities, only for the con owner to steal the
budget and run away to another state
Seeing an obese rendition of your favorite character and being scarred for life.
seeing someone cosplay a spoiler that came out a week ago.
Selling your car for gas money.
Sharing the convention center with another event.
Shitty Cards Against Humanity Spin-offs.
Shitty Chinese Knockoffs.
Someone spiking the water coolers.
Someone taking a shit in the elevator.
Special Snowflakes.
Steve Blum’s sultry, omnipresent voice.
Stupid dumb fucking nerds
Swimming drunk in the hotel fountain because the pool was closed.
Switchblades pulled out at the Smash tournament.
That guy dancing around with the boombox.
The ballpit didn’t have any balls and I broke my ass jumping in.
That one girl who dances to J-Pop in the corner for attention.
The sexiest sex to ever sex.
Treating your hotel room like a clown car and shoving as many people as you can in there.
Trespassing to get the prefect photoshoot location.
Trying to become famous.
Trying to flee that old drunk pervert staying at your hotel.
Using Febreeze as deodorant.

Vic Mignognanananana.
Yaoi.
Your Cosplay Squad.
Your mom.
Your old racist father.
Your sweet innocent virgin soul.
YouTube Let's Players.
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Cons Against Our Sanity: Volume Two
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/492040397/cons-against-our-sanity
Expansion to Cons Against Our Sanity that was awarded to backers at the $35 level or higher.
Released Dec 2017.
______ is a surefire way to get rid of me.

______ isn't wrong. But ______ is where I draw the line.
______? No thanks; I'd rather kill myself first.
______. Best Decision I've ever made.
______. Into the trash it goes.
At a con, you can totally get away with ______.
At the con I was arrested because of ______.

Despite their shoddy cosplay, that contestant probably won due to ______.
Getting stabbed over ______.
Hey lil momma how ya doing let me whisper in ya ear, tell ya something that ya might like to hear:
______.
I am too an adult! In fact, I just experienced ______ without crying.

I managed to book the hotel room for the con, but we're gonna have to room with _______.
I was woken up at 3 am because of ______.
I, too, like to live dangerously. In fact, I even encountered ______ the other day and lived to tell the tale.
I'm sorry, but it's time for an intervention. ______ just isn't for you.
In the Dealer's Room, you'll find 50 vendors selling ______ and ______.
It's the newest hit anime! It's a bit of ______ mixed with ______. Now streaming on Crunchroll!
My panel was immediately shut down before it even started due to ______.
Oh heck, what got me bamboozled again?
Our next couple cosplay! I'll be ______ and you'll be ______.

Wait! There's something in the air -- oh, crap, it's ______!
What I did that made my parents take me to church: ______.
What makes me cry and drink from my prop that I converted into a hidden flask?
What's my next convention? _______Con.
What's my next cosplay?
A company nerfing your favorite character.
A dance party blocking the hallway.

A drunbk Goku cosplayer screaming near your hotel at 3 in the morning.
A happy ending.
A horde of rabid yaoi fangirls.
A Pity Party.
A swag bag filled with cool merch.
A table at the Artist Alley that's so bad, you wonder who the hell told them to make the investment in
the first place.
An anime protagonist that can do no wrong.
Artist Alley.
Barbara "Punkelman" Dunkelman.
Being a goddamn beautiful disaster.
Being an embarrassment to your parents.
Being Kawaii as FUCK.
Being the very best, like no one ever was.
Being Triggered.
Blackfacing.
Cleavage.
Con staffers rushing to clothe you while the special cosplay guest has a skimpier outfit.
Confusing your penis.
Cosplay handlers -- like slaves, but with less rights.
Cosplaying a spoiler only a week after it came out.

Cosplaying your OC.
Cosplaying your unproven headcanons.
Couple cosplaying.
Crossing the invisible perimeter line between the convention and reality.
Doing a casual cosplay because you're really broke.
Finishing your cosplay in the car on the way to the con.
Fist Me Daddy -- a new Steam simulator game.
Forgetting your pass in the hotel room and having to walk all the way back.
Giving your fanart to a voice actor who quietly throws it in the trash later.
Guest cancellations.
Hiding your cosplay photos away from your parents.Blaming Deku for every little thing.
Hooking up at a con.
Internet panhandling.
Japan enacting the Weeaboo Travel Ban.
Kids lying about their age.
Lies and Trickery!
Like, one million ants.
Madoka at the urinal.
Matthew Mercer -- the vocal equivalent of pure, dripping honey.
No refunds.
Not having boobs, and actually having to work hard on your cosplay.
Not knowing what a Dancer's Belt is.
Not shutting up about your new con boyfriend. We get it already.
Not wearing your glasses for cosplay and going in blind.
Officer, I swear she told me she was a 500-year-old demon girl!
ONE PUUUUUUNCHHHH!
Only being able to see your friends at conventions.
Oversexed Pokémon cosplays.

Pedophilia.
Photoshopping your cosplay photos till you're unrecognizable.
Post Con Depression.
Privilege.
Putting down the problematic furry.
QUALITY Content.
Risking it all and trying to buy your wig at the con.
Risking your car being towed because you don't want to pay for expensive parking.
Running straight into the hallway ravers dancing around the boombox and knocking them down like
bowling pins.
Seeing that cosplayer with their league of orbiters surrounding them everywhere.
Selling your soul to the devil to get time off work to go to a con.
Shouting "Red Robin!" in a crowded convention center as a desperate cry for attention, since your
parents didn't give you enough love as a child.
Showering by jumping into the pool instead.
Someone who doesn't understand normal social cues.
Special Guests that you don't give a shit about.

Spending all of your allowance the first day and having to live off of the land.
Starting a fistfight at the con because someone dared dress as the same character as you.
Staying at home and being a responsible adult for once.
Taking selfies.
That McNuggets sauce.
That one damn cosplayer.
That poor dog in a service vest who really shouldn't be in here.
The Con Crud.
The con staff changing their rules two days before the con.
The con staff security.
The strange body odor haunting the game room.
The sweet embrace of death.
The Thirst.
THIS FUCKING GAME.

Throwing a bikini on an underage anime character, and calling it cosplay.
Tony the Tiger -- The Original Furry.
Trash.
Trying to goad your favorite voice actor into saying a shipping voice line.
Understanding the concept of a "budget".
Walking into your hotel elevator after a long day on your feet, only to realize some asshole hit all the
buttons.
Your NOTP.
Your Senpai.
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Cards Against Caninity
http://contest.earthrated.com/cac/
Originally a prize reward for a contest on the earth rated® website now available as a print your own DIY
cards PDF.
______ is why we can't have nice things.

"Woof! Woof! Woof!"
Translation: ______.
Best dog toys: tennis balls, bones, ______.
Clifford the Big Red ______.
Coming soon to theatres: Beethoven 7: ______.

If you don't have dog treats, ______ works just as well.
If you were a dog, what's the first think you would do?
Instead of going for a walk, we prefer ______.
Sit! Speak! Roll over! ______!

They just enacted a new city bylaw to prevent ______.
We could learn a lot from dogs. Specifically ______.
What do dogs learn by sniffing butts?
What is my dog dreaming about?
What's the newest trick all the cool dogs are learning?
What's way better than the dog park?
When the dogs played poker, they didn't use chips. They used ______.
When you're not looking, the dog likes to hump ______.
Who really let the dogs out?
Who's a good boy!? WHO's A GOOD BOY!?!?!??!

Why did the dog run away?
A dog in a stroller.
A really, really, really big stick.
A refreshing drink from the toilet.
A relaxing game of fetch.
A tail with a mind of its own.
An electric fence.
Barfing and then eating it.
Barking at dogs on the TV.
Barking at people with hats.
Barking up the wrong tree.
Being afraid of fireworks.
Being afraid of vacuum cleaners.
Being really particular about where you poop.
Being really serious about dog grooming.
Being the hairiest member of the family.
Beware of Dog signs.
Chasing cars.
Chasing your own tail.
Chew toys.
Crawling with your butt against the carpet.
Cutting the fur around a dog's butt.
Doggy diapers.
Doggy style.
Dogs running in slow-motion.
Dreaming about chasing things.
Dressing up a dog as a different breed of dog.
Drinking from a hose.
Eating dog treats to see what they taste like.
Eating from a bowl.
Eating garbage and pretending like you didn't.
Eating until your stomach explodes.
Eye goop.
Fire hydrants.
Getting jealous when your friends smell like other dogs.
Giving your dog a stupid haircut.
Giving your dog its own Facebook account.
Having a favourite toy and then destroying it and being sad.
Heavy petting.
Humping a pillow.
Indestructable dog toys.
Intestinal worms.
Kicking your legs when someone scratches behind your ears.
Licking yourself.
Lifting a leg when you pee.
Liquid poop.
Making everything into a chew toy.
Marking your territory.
Old dog farts.
Panting loudly.
Peeing on someone's leg and telling them it's raining.
Peeing when you're excited.
Picking up really warm, squishy poop.
Piles and piles of great dane poop.
Playful biting.
Playful biting.
Playing dead.
Poking poop with a stick to see how old it is.
Pretending to pick up dog poop instead of actually picking it up.
Puppy dog eyes.
Rolling in poop.
Running out of poop bags and using your hands.
Running over poop with a lawnmower.
Saying hello by sniffing crotches.
Scaring yourself with the sound of your own sneeze.
Sleeping in the dog house.
Sniffing a stranger's butt.
So much drool.
SQUIRREL!
Sticking your head out the open window of a moving car.
Teaching an old dog new tricks.
The cone of shame.
The face you make when you're pooping.
Toilet training.
Waking someone up by licking their face.
Wet dog smell.
When the snow melts in the park and reveals a season's worth of dog poop.
Whistles that only you can hear.
Wishing you could ride your dog like a horse.
Years and years of inbreeding.
Citizens Against Hypocrisy
https://www.facebook.com/CitizensAgainstHypocracy/
Created and sold on eBay during the 2016 election campaign as a fundraiser for the Libertarian Party of
Alabama. Appears to no longer be available for purchase. Released approximately around October 30, 2015.
Cards were slightly smaller than the standard card size as shown in this picture:
https://boardgamegeek.com/image/2966816/barvivant
_________, our country's last line of defense.
Big Brother is not only watching you, he's judging your _________.
DARPA is experimenting with using _________ to reprogram a soldier's brain, making them immune to _________.
Funding increases have ensured that FEMA will be able to hand out _________ after the next disaster.
In light off all the scandals, the President will now be guarded by _________ instead of the Secret Service.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king. In America, it's the guy with _________.
More people would vote if they gave out __________ instead of those stupid stickers.
Next session, Congress will introduce a bill making _________ mandatory for every U.S. citizen under 18.
One Nation, indivisible, with _________ and _________ for all.
Thanks to the Common Core, my child now has an impressive knowledge of _________.
That awkward moment when you try to work _________ into a conversation about welfare reform.
The USDA will now regulate how much _________ can be present in _________.
The USPS will be issuing a new stamp commemorating _________.
This year, instead of climate change, Republicans have decided not to believe in _________.
Who will build the roads?
Yesterday, the White House announced that the Secretary of Education will be replaed with _________.
100 Gary Johnson clones.

A Donald Trump Voodoo Doll.
A jar of smelling turds.
A Vladamir Putin Butt Plug.
A werewolf with an erection.
Actual cannibal Shia LeBeouf.
Anatomically corect G.I. Joe™ dolls.
Baby wigs.
Being so high you accidentally vote against marijuana legalization.
Blatant racism.
Bouncing on the naughty trampoline.
Brown people.
Buying pot with Bitcoin.
Canine sex dolls.
Eternal suffering.
Fox News.
Free condoms.
Fruit smuggling.
Gay Reparative Therapy.
George Bush's cum face. Which George Bush? Doesn't matter, they both make the same face.
God Sperm.
God, Guns, Grits, and Gravy.
Hentai.
Hugo Chavez's amazing Penisphone.
Manditory GMO labeling for all sex toys.
My sexually adventurous imaginary friend.
Neuticles®.
Panhandling for prostitution money.
Raw unicorn milk.
Repressed Feminist Rage.
School prayer.
Space Bees.
The last vestige of my humanity.
The Rapture.
The seret love child of Rush Limbaugh and Hillary Clinton.
The stain on Monica Lewinsky's dress.
The Thank You Card I got after my last TSA full cavity search.
Urine powered cars.
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Cards Against Creativity
http://bigopposablethumb.com/assets/Cards_Against_Creativity.pdf
A marketing themed set created by BigOpposableThumb.com.
A client told me he has a _________ who could do my job for __________.
An effective creative environment includes _________, _________, and ________.

Creativity is a concept lost on people who _________.
Deadlines are for _________.
I asked for _________ to complete the project, the client only gave _________.
I knew I had the client right where I wanted him when I saw him _________.
I love working here. Whenever I ask for _________ they give me _________.
I may be a temperamental artist, but you're a __________.
I spent so much time staring at ________ that I _________.

I tried explaining _________, but the client looked at me like I was _________.
I wanted to upgrade my _________, so I went out and bought _________.
I've forgotten more about _________ than my boss will ever know.
If I had a nickel for every time I was promised _________, I'd have _________.
In my spare time at work, I redesign __________.
It was a perfect project until _________.
It's great to be a creative mind in a workplace full of _________.
Let's forget the feedback for a moment, what if we _________.
My boss is so clueless, he thinks that _________ is actually _________.
My campaign presentations are the best. I start with _________, then add _________, and finish them off
with _________.
People ask me all the time what the secret is to my creativity, I tell them it's __________.
Sales reps? I'd rather work with _________.
Strategically speaking, the project should _________.
The client said they loved your vision for the project, they only want to change _________.
The client wanted Comic Sans. I offered him _________ instead.
The rep told me the client what file formats we accept, but they still gave us _________.
There are two types of clients: _________ and _________.
There's a word for clients like you. It's __________.
This job would be great if it weren't for _________.
When a sales rep says _________, what he's really saying is _________.
When my account exec says _________, he really means _________.
A poorly constructed creative brief.

A rousing game of blame the designer.
A square peg for your round hole.
A team player.
A witty comeback.
Abject failure.
Accepting my fate.
Adobe's Creative Cloud.
An hour.
Art critics.
Authentic appreciation for a job well done.
Being brilliant yet conservative.
Believing that the customer is always right.
Blatantly sucking up.
Blind acceptance.
Brainstorms.
Camera ready artwork.
Clipart.
Color separations.
Complacent ignorance.
Compromising smartphone photos.
Contrast, Alignment, Repitition, and Proximity.
Convert to outlines.
Coproate identitiy.
Cowering on my knees begging forgiveness.
Cranial rectal inversion.
Creative block.
Crying hopelessly into my pillow every night.
Design advice from the client.
Designing to a second grade level.
Doing it for the paycheck.
Dots per inch.
Drinking to make the noises stop.
Endlessly discussing what we already agreed upon.
Everything.
Excessively wide demographics.
Fixing what wasn't broken in the first place.
Graphic design.
Halftones.
Illustrator.
Intellectual property.
Leaving out the critical detail that would have explained everything.
Linescreen.
Lunch break.
Making the sale.
Microsoft Publisher.
Microsoft Word.
Miracles.
Mobile advertising.
My unacceptable smoking habit.
New OS upgrades.
Nodding disbelief.
Nodding like you agree.
Nothing.
Opinions.
PageMaker.
Papyrus.
Photoshop.
Pixels per inch.
Pleading my case.
Pointless meetings.
Process color.
Professional courtesy.
Proving yet again that I was right.
PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress of Design).
Pushing myself creatively.
Repect.
Repetitive dreaming.
RGB artwork.
Rush projects.
Sitting there and taking it.
Social media.
Spot color.
Taking whatever idea you came up with and making it good.
Ten minutes.
The brutal sting of rejection.
The creative process.
The creative switch.
The expert.
The Mac vs. PC debate.
The neighbor's kid.
The Pantone Color Matching System.
The steady flow of caffeine that sustains me.
The way it was before you opened your mouth.
Trained monkeys.
Typography.
Uncontrollable gas.
Web design.
White space.
Working with idiots.
Cruise Against Hodgman
https://hyperentertainment.org/JocoCAH4
Created by Redditors cybertyche and doolbneerg for the JoCo Cruise 2014.
______ beat Paul and Storm in Song Fu.
______ is my ______ cover band.
______ is my Nemesis.
After the JoCo Cruise Crazy, RCI instituted a new policy banning ______.
I knew I was marked for death when I found a towel sculpture shaped like ______.
I like ______ and I cannot lie.
I made this half-______, half-______ monster to please you.
I quit my programming job to become ______.
In today's morning announcements we learned about ______.
It’s the first of May, first of May. ______ starts today.
On tonight's episode, Glee will be performing ______ without attribution.
Surprisingly, the most frequently ordered room service item in the ball pit was ______.
The Doubleclicks’ new album: Lasers and ______.
The game room is closed for decontamination because of an incident involving ______ and ______.
The most expensive all-inclusive island day tour: ______ Experience.
This year, the Carnival Triumph was stranded at sea thanks to ________.
When Hodgman took over the ship, the first thing he banned was ______.
Would you like to participate in the ______ temperance brigade?
A Ball Pit.
A bigger, blacker ball pit.
A blind and deaf cat.
A cruise ship so large, it has its own river with a smaller cruise ship on it.
A dented ping pong ball named Silas.
A guitar broken by George R. R. Martin.
A homemade fez.
A life-sized model of Nathan Sawaya made of LEGO® bricks.
A poorly executed KKK joke.
A single, female Linux System Administrator.
A ukulele melee.
Advanced Drinking and Drawing.
ASCII Dicks.
Being a motherfucking ball pit.
Chicken Monkey Duck.
Cozy pants.
Creepy melon faces.
Dr. Smallpenis.
Drunk Storm.
Fake Geek Girls.
Fake moustaches.
Getting seasick in the ball pit.
Half-price blood diamonds.
High Justice of the Seas Judge John Hodgman.
Hooking up in the ball pit.
IKEA’s new cheap yet fashionable line of computer desks, named “Coō ltuů n”.
John Roderick's plane accident.
Jonathan Coulton's sentient beard.
Mike Phirman's birthday.
Mr. Suckface.
Principal Sabourin.
Sadness pie.
Sea Monkeys baking in the sun.
Sex Party!
Sister Maria Teresa Garcia Graziela Aguilera Delgado Francisco Diego Arroyo Inigo Montoya Zapata
Paquito El Guapo Abuelita de la “Boom Boom” Mendoza.
Sister Mary Catherine “The Habit Breaker” Inviolata.
Sitting in a theater making fun of a movie.
Sluice box mucking.
Stabbing someone in the neck with an artisanally-sharpened pencil.
Stifling a giggle each time someone says “ball pit.”
Taking posed pictures with the stuffed tiger that you later regret.
The ball pit after a week of use by drunken nerds.
The Carnival Triumph.
The cremated ashes of Marian Call's cat in a tin.
The fanciest of fancy pants.
The guy who yelled “Free Bird!”
The Imaginary Ball Pit.
The long-lost love note from Stephen Fry to Molly Lewis.
The Paul F. Tompkins Memorial Moustache Formal and Fezstravaganza.
The Sarlaac.
The Snorks.
The Stepto Army.
VandalEyes
Wil Wheaton attempting to pilot the cruise ship.
Special Set
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Cards Against Fanfiction
https://boardgamegeek.com/thread/1410170/sdcc-fanfiction-expansion
A fanfiction themed expansion created by Wattpad for the San Diego Comic Con 2015. It is unclear if this set
was sold or given away.
___________ vs ___________; Civil War.
______________ is probably a Horcrux.

______________ makes Dean cry every time.
Carry On My Wayward ________________.
Damn it Jim, I'm a _______ not a ______!

For the con, I cosplayed _______.
Guardians of the __________.
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for _______.
I haven't forgiven George R.R. Martin since he killed ___________.

I ship _________ and ________.
I was disappointed when I found that the fic titled ___________ was actually about_____________.
I'm a Hufflepuff; I'M allergic to ____________!
I'm the one who gripped you tight and raised you from _________.
I've never watched Supernatural, but I'm pretty sure it's about ______.
Legolas never goes into battle without _______.
My mom stumbled across the account I use to roleplay ___________.
My OT3 is _____, _____, and, _______.
One more miracle, Sherlock. For me. Don't. Be _______.
Saving ________, hunting _______: the family business.

Sherlock's mind palace is full of ____________.
Sherlock's safeword is ____________.
Thank you Wattpad for getting my child reading about _______.
The highlight of Dean's time in Hell: _______.
They're taking _______ to Isengard!
243 different types of tobacco ash.

A madman who lives in a policebox and kidnaps women.
A meat dagger.
A smutty Destiel fanfiction
A vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broomstick.
Another bloody Harry Styles fanfiction.
Cheekbone polishing parties.
Coffeeshop AU.
Decidedly not canon.
Hilarious versions of Benedict Cumberbatch's name.
Leather Pants Draco Malfoy.
Luke/Leia.
Mermaid!Cas.
Misha Collins's sausage.
MPreg.
Profound bond.
R+L=J
Reichenfeels.
Smauglock.
SuperWhoLock.
THE FEELS!
Tinhats.
Top!Dean.
UST: Unresolved Sexual Tension.
Cruise Against Hodgman 2: Cruise Harder
#GamerGate claims to be about ____, but actually, it's about ____.

[Gold Card in the style of Monopoly] Community Chest; GO TO BOAT JAIL; Go Directly to Boat Jail; DO NOT PASS _____;
DO NOT COLLECT _____
At this year's wedding ceremony, Wil Wheaton gave away _____.

Come quick! I found _____ on deck 12!
Dammit, _____ ruined the group shot again.
For sanitary reasons, this year Home Office had to cancel _____.
Hodgman was finally defeated by _____.
I can't wait to try the all-you-can-eat _____ buffet.
I run because of _____.
The only thing that made boat jail bearable was _____.
The Snorks are in _____ again.
The winner of this year's science fair was _____.
To make up for canceling the ball pit, Home Office has decided to fill an entire cabin with _____.
We didn't learn about our performers until the last minute because of _____.
A "unicorn" that is also an actual unicorn.

A black market cheese ring.
A colonialist pleasure barge.
A favor ring.
A horcrux for your manhood.
A rhetorical Wooo.
A spiffy side mullet.
A tambourine with too much style.
A vial of Stephen Fry's semen.
ALL THE THINGS!
An ironically named vegetarian.
Audio comfort food for annoyed liberals in fleece.
Bacon?
Body surfing in a Toddlerpit.
C-3PO grabbing Magic's Johnson.
Ethics in game journalism.
Getting lapped by a bald NPR host.
Going Deep with David Rees.
Hovercrafting.
Inappropriately touching your LEGO® self.
My natural predator, the athlete.
Naming yourself after a badass comic book character.
Napalming the jungle with Sriracha.
Outdoor hugging.
Semen joke, semen joke, semen joke, Arrr I'm a pirate!

Shredding a ukulele.
Suing the Secret Service to get your computers back.
The banana spider: an eight-legged vagina that gives you boners until you are dead.
The Batmobile, performing to spec.
The Blerch.
The Captain's shirt, drenched in someone else's sweat.
The fire-breathing lobster who lives behind the rings of Saturn.
The Neo-Gothic sex dungeon.
The Non-Judgmental Ninja.
The Paul F. Tompkins Memorial Mustache Pit.
The secret, third member of The Both.
The singular Ladychef.
The very lost Jewish-Irish tribe.
Warm Bread!!!
Work Juice.
Special Set
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Cards Against Gallifrey (Doctor Who Gallifrey One set)
This set was custom printed for the 25th Gallifrey One convention in Los Angeles, CA on 14-16 February 2014. They wer
professionally printed, poker-size, glossy playing cards that are made to resemble the other official expansions. There is
TARDIS in the lower left-hand corner to indicate that they are from this set. Only a handful of these were made and are n
going to be commercially available.
This is NOT the expansion that is available on-line as PDF's that you can print out yourself. This is a completely different
After passing out during the time war I was awoken by _____.
After seeing the Silence, I forgot about _____.

But before I kill you, Doctor, I must show you _____.
Every Christmas the Doctor gets drunk and tells the story about _____.
I learned the hard way that you can't cheer up a grieving Dalek with _____.
I really wish the Doctor would regenerate into _____.
I'm sorry sir, but we don't allow _____ in the TARDIS.
In Stephen Moffat's new episode, Matt Smith discovers that _____ has really been _____ all along.
In the distant future historians will agree that _____ marked the beginning of Gallifrey's decline.
The highlight of Gallifrey One this year was _____.
The Time Lords have developed a smaller more efficient version of _____.
This year, I'm on a panel entitled _____.
Time War! What is it good for?
What is the Doctor's guilty pleasure?
A big, blue box.

A bigger, bluer box.
A bunch of idiots going to a Doctor Who convention instead of interacting like normal humans.
A Judoon in his early twenties, last seen wearing a hoodie.

A madman that lives in a phone box and kidnaps women.
A Pandorica full of coleslaw.
A sad, fat Dalek with no friends.
A sassy, black Dalek.
A sex Time Lord with a carnival penis.
A Stephen Moffat plot twist.
An Adipose so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.
Another shitty episode.
Being a busy Time Lord with many important things to do.
Being a motherfucking time lord.
Being on a motherfucking panel.
Blowing some Oods in an alley.
Captain Jack Harkness: Sex Alien.
Companionly duties.
David Tennant's Hair.
Eating at Champions one too many times.
Eating the last known Star Whale.
Eating Tom Baker's hair to get his powers.
Getting hilariously gang-banged by the Silence.
Getting so angry at Adric that you pop a boner.
Getting your dick stuck in a Gallifreyan finger trap with another dick.
Having sonic screwdrivers for legs.
Helplessly giggling at the mention of Zygons and Zarbis.
I don't want to go.
Inspector Spacetime
K-9 uncontrollably guzzling cum.
Not contributing to Time Lord society in any meaningful way.
Regenerating like a little bitch.
Rory dying...again.
Running naked through the TARDIS pissing and shitting everywhere.
Scooping an Ood's eyes out and putting his ball where his eyes were and his eyes where his ball was.
Shooting your sonic screwdriver in the air while balls deep in a Silurian.
Some douche with a TARDIS.
Stuffing a Dalek's face with Fun Dip until he starts having fun.
That space between Billie Piper's teeth.
That thing that goes ding when there's stuff.
Cruise Against Hodgman 3: Revenge of Hodgman
David Rees' latest episode: Going Deep on ________________.
Hot tub office hours were great until ________________; then it got weird.
I brought the gaming session to a screeching halt by referencing ________________.

I opted for _________________ instead of the cheese plate.
It is too bad the drink pass doesn't cover ___________.
John Scalzi called Neil Gaiman to confirm the incident with ____________.
Mystery Brewing’s next cruise beer: notes of ________________, an aroma of ________________, and a slight finish of _____
No one expected the nerd boat to run out of ___________.
Patrick Rothfuss failed to convince me that __________ is really a fish.
The true villain of the cruise is ________________.
The underlying subtext of all of JoCo's songs is _________________ dealing with ________________.
This year the merch store had a JoCo-branded edition of ________________.
Until the cruise, I didn't realize so many people shared my passion for ________________.
Using only _________________ and _____________, Hodgman was able to fight his way back onto the boat.
What is the evolutionary advantage of ________________? Clearly, it's ________________.
When I am an honored guest, I hope they introduce me as "the spouse of _____________."
Why was I unable to make it back to the boat in time?
You remembered to bring 25 Batman t-shirts but forgot to bring __________?!
4 AM Scotch and mini golf.

A beard that goes all the way down.
A bigger, blacker Hodgman.
A buttery smooth voice reading The Silmarillion.
A dinosaur onesie of power.
A drunken water bender.
A feels trip with a bunch of nerds.
A game with way too many expansions.
A hair'em of Beardalos.
A lawyer who tapes back his junk to play in an all-girl rock band.
A mustache where you least expect it.
A non-Euclidean Sprinkles cone.
A really nice trash can.
A regret-filled night with Yay Monkey.
A sharp G string.
A sopping wet badge.
A statue of John Roderick made entirely of Tanzanite.
All-you-can-eat soft serve.
An immortal iron fist that last longer than four hours.
An obscenely long straw.
An unhealthy appreciation of Bob Ross.

Asking your doctor if Shaking It Off™ is right for you.
Bathing your celebrity crush in the booze-soaked emesis of a drunken squee.
Being a motherfucking Hodgman.
Boarding in Voldeport.
Campaigning for cruise villainy.
Code Monkey on glice.
Confusing flatulence and fellatio.
Creepy Doll's Eyes.
Drunk or Boat.
Exploding mind kittens.
Faking appendicitis to get away from a boat full of nerds.
Falling in love with Randy Parcel after hearing him sing.
Free range rich people.
Glerpes
Hodgman's Cruze.
Jim Boggia's crowd-pleasing all-night performance.
Laughing so hard that tears ran down my leg.
Making music just by flailing your hands.
Making the guitars kiss.
Meow.
Midnight pizza.
Moist Twarts.
My unrequited desire for Sprinkles.
Rocking so hard that your ukulele breaks.
SeaMonkey Cuddle Puddle.
Seated Pelvic Thrusting.
Spending 3 days off the boat without luggage and still looking dapper as FUCK.
The Dick and Pickle.
The Future Ninjas for Christ.
The inevitable rise of fast zombies.
The secret menu of the servant class on your boat of Imperialism.
Trying to explain why Kinder Eggs are safe while avoiding deep throat jokes.
Winning a game of Theremin Hero by having a seizure.
Special Set
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Cards Against Science
http://cardsagainstscience.com/
Created for Science Hack Day San Francisco 2013.
_______ is why there aren't enough women in the sciences.
_______ or perish.
________ - results inconclusive.
________ can be thought of as a superposition of ________ and ________.
________ caused the Pioneer anomaly.

________ plus ________ resulted in science's biggest flop to date.
________ taught me all I know about science.
________: A misunderstood lab hobby.
________: Don't go to a conference without it.

________. It's a bitch.
________is the study of herpetologists.
________is why it always takes an extra five minutes to get the computer projector working.
“It's trivial!” said the Professor. “It's obviously just a _______.”
A hurricane named ________.
A parasite is an organism that takes ________ away from another organism while it is still living.
After getting tenure the professor celebrated by ________.
After I defended, my adviser gave me _______.
After I mixed ________ and ________, it resulted in ________.
After Joe forgot to put the ________ under the fume hood, all hell broke loose.
After much deliberation, IUPAC decided to name the next element ________ium.
After pointing the Hubble space telescope at a blank patch of sky for 10 days astronomers were surprised to see ________.
All models are wrong, but some are ________.
Applied for postdoc, all I got was this lousy ________.
As an experiment, I inserted ________ into ________ and discovered ________.
As Schrodinger stuffed the cat in the box, he had an awful thought: What if the cat is ________?
Astronomers watched excitedly as ________ made its final descent into the black hole.
Before centrifuging ________, never forget to ________.
Best excuse for putting off writing a referee report.
Better living through ________.
Campus lab safety protocol requires you to always put on your ________ before doing ________.
Can you believe the new Texas textbooks said ________.
Carl Linnaeus would have named it.
Chemical equilibrium was reached when ________.
Congratulations! Your fellowship includes a stipend and ________.
Creationists hate it when ________.
Darwin's Theory of ________ was invalidated by ________.
Despite some recent progress, ________ are still struggling to understand ________.
Dinosaur bones are really a test of our faith in ________.
Don't forget to include ________ in your dissertation acknowledgments.
Drinking in the lab on a Friday night is usually not a good idea, because ________ tends to be the result.
Einstein described ________ as “his biggest blunder.”
Einstein was also well respected in the academic community for his studies on ________.
Elon Musk's next company to tackle ________.
Epigenetics: As easy to understand as ________.
Everything I know about science I learned from ________.
Further study is required to establish a causal link between ________ and ________.
Grad school was going well until I came across ________.
Have you considered the effect of ________?
Her gravity well tasted surprisingly like ________.
Hey! We've discovered ________ on Mars!
How do you escape a black hole?
I can't believe I get paid to ________.
I can't wait until I never have to ________.
I couldn't finish my proposal because I was detained by ________.
I don't think the Large Hadron Collider was expecting to discover ________.
I hate it when I get busted for ________.
I just love doing ________ behind the lab bench !
I knew I never should have added ________ to the chemical reaction.
I knew I should not have used my twins for an experiment when I observed ________.
I knew my Ph.D. Defense wasn't going well when ________.
I published my first paper in the journal of _______.
I was surprised to find that the wormhole led to ________.
I will be required to dissect 500 ________ to complete my thesis.
In hindsight, I shouldn't have put ________ in the autoclave.
In the darkness of the laser lab, Mary mistook the ________ for a polarimeter.
In the lab, I dropped the _______ on the ________. That was a mess.
It's been said that ________ causes autism. Murderers!
It's perfectly okay to pipette by mouth, except when using ________.
Josiah Willard Gibbs always thought ________ was pretty hot.
Lady Ada often spent the evening at home with her ________.
My lab mates really hated it when I ________ while listening to ________.
My paper on ________ couldn't get published in a peer review journal, so I submitted it to ________.
My PCR didn't work due to ________.
My results may have been influenced by the ________ discovered in my ________.
My thermodynamics class failed to mention the law of conservation of ________.
Newton was led to the discovery of gravity when ________ hit him on the head.
Nothing is denser than ________.
Oh, those are just mice ________.
On the next episode of The Big Bang Theory, Sheldon Cooper faces ________.
On the Origin of ________ - Darwin's lesser-known tome.
Organs are best grown in the lab with the addition of ________.
Our hierarchical Bayesian analysis resulted in a high-confidence inference of ________.
Physicists will often simplify a system by modeling it as a ________.
Quantum physicists have succeeded in entangling ________ and ________.
Rutherford's ________ experiment helped determine the basic structure of ________.
Science: A journey that begins with ________.
Science: Doing its part to help humanity, one ________ at a time.
Science: I devoted my life to it because ________.
Science: The ________ that keeps on giving.
Science: The only endeavour in which studying ________ is respectable.
Science: The perennial quest for ________.
Science. Where truth can be found in ________.
That's not a hypothesis it's ________.
The ________ can be distinguished from the ________ by ________.
The amazing lyrebird can imitate any sound, except that of ________.
The best endothermic reaction is ________.
The best way to obtain pulication-quality data is to use ________.
The experiment started working once the _______ was inserted in the ________.
The gravitational pull of a ________ is so great that not even light can escape.
The last mass extinction event was caused by ________.
The mysterious residue on the lab counter was ________.
The National Science Foundation recently started handing out grants to study ________.
The newly discovered species was so fat when it ________ it ________.
The one thing Neil Degrasse Tyson doesn't want you to know about science is ________.
The peer reviewer suggested ________ might help.
Things to do: 1. ________ 2. ________ 3. ________
To coax miceto mate, I like to ________.
To increase its Impact Factor, Nature published a special issue about ________.
Universities in the southern United States are beginning to hire ________.
We knew our grant didn't get funded when ________.
We regret to inform you that your investigation into the mating habits of ________ will not be funded.
What aspects of STEM public outreach are audiences most clamoring for?
What astronomers found lurking inside a black hole.
What contaminated my cell cultures?
What did Carl Sagan put in his bong water?
What is the name given to an object so massive it deflects the paths of passing light rays?
What is the source of the Ultra-High Energy Cosmic Rays?
When alone during evenings in the laboratory, I like to ________.
When I opened the incubator this morning, I found _______.
When I redced the Hubble Space Telescope images, I was _______.
When I was out doing field work, I caught ________ in my trap.
When Schrodinger opened the box, he found ________.
When the ice caps melted we were surprised to find unfrozen ________.
While mercifully rare, there is no known cure for ________.
Who is the latest superstar professor to be hired?
Why can't I get ________ to work?
Why did the dinosaurs die?
Why I chose a career in science.
Why is my bench sticky?
You can use this to calculate the radius of the hydrogen atom.
Your advisor's favorite side activity during group meetings.
Your conclusion is flawed bacause you failed to reconcile ________ with ________.
Your gut microbiota can help you ________.
“Field” work.
“The Elements” by Tom Lehrer.
42
40-gallon drum of nuclear waste.
A 3D printed heart.
A back of the envelope calculation.
A Computer older than the combined ages of all the grad students.
A corkscrew duck penis.
A crescent moon.
A DNA ladder.
A Floating brain.
A Grad student who has been in the department longer than all known faculty.
A grad student with nothing to lose.
A gravitational constant string.
A gravitational lens.
A hairless black hole.
A horrifying cat that is both dead and alive.
A human subject (i.e. myself).
A jar of leeches.
A lab full of hot undergrad interns.
A lab mouse that simply refuses to die.
A learning opportunity.
A mouse growing a human ear on its back.
A new state of matter.
A petri dish full of spermatozoa.
A research monkey that is smarter than the lab assistant.
A significant increase in entropy.
A spider the size of your face.
A spontaneous fission reaction.
A supermassive black hole with a taste for human blood.
A Supermassive black hole.
A temporal anomaly.
A two-headed snake.
A type 1a supernova.
A USB, some Red Bull knock-off, and the homeliest lab tech.
Accidentally falling in a volcano.
Agar shot.
Alan Turing's last blowjob.
All the ethanol went missing.
Amber-encased insects.
Amphiphile.
An analytic solution of the Navier-Stokes equation as applied to explosive diarrhea.
An empty pipette.
An everted seastar stomach.
An illegibly labeled specimen.
An impact crater.
An inverse correlation between error bar size and penile length.
Another goddamn postdoc.
Answers in Genesis.
Anthrax.
Antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea.
Arachnophobic entomoligists.
Artificial insemination.
Asbestos.
Astral projection.
Astronomers attempting to dance.
Asymmetrical body parts.
Autism caused by vaccinations.
Autoclave.
Awkward advisor interaction.
Awkward lab parties.
Bayesian statistics.
Becasue the Bible says so.
Bigfoot's DNA sequence.
Bilateral symmetry.
Bill Nye's bowtie.
Birdemic.
Black Hole.
Blood-stained lab coat.
Blowfish.
Blowing shit up.
Bonobo sex.
Brain parasites.
Brain-eating proteins.
Brems-strahlung.
Brightly coloured liquids.
Carl Sagan's frustrated desire to become a tarot card reader.
Carl Sagan's turtlenecks.
Centrifuge tubes.
Chlamydia.
Church of Scientology.
Cleaning up after sex on the Space Shuttle.
Climate change denial.
Cloacal kiss.
Cloacal protuberance.
Cocaine ordered from Sigma Aldrich.
Cold fusion.
Conference hookups.
Confirmation bias.
Contagious yawning.
Cosmic inflation.
Cosmic microwave background radiation.
Cosmic strings.
Coughing on your labmate's plate of primary cells.
Crashing into the Sun.
Creationists.
Crime scene DNA.
Darwin.
David Attenborough's vocal stylings.
Dihydrogen Monoxide.
Dissolved in a vial of hydrochloric acid.
Distracting grammatical errors.
Diuretic shellfish poisoning.
Donor organs.
E.O. Wilson.
Eating your model organism.
Eating your model system.
Ecologist chic.
Ed Witten practicing shibari with Leonard Susskind.
Edwin Hubble's expanding shaft.
Electrical fires.
Electro-shocking earthworms.
Ernst haeckel.
Evidence that there really is a God.
Evolution gone awry.
Excess production of methane.
Experimenting on yourself.
Exploitative advisor.
Explosive testes.
Falsifying data.
Fecal transplants.
Fractured metatarsals.
Free radicals.
Friggin black holes, man!
Fucking in zero gravity.
Fundamental discord between theory and experiment leading to a paradigm shift.
Gastro-intestinal worms.
Genome.
Getting scooped.
Getting stopped by airport security because of the chemicals on your shoes.
Gneiss cleavage.
Going inside soap bubbles.
Golden boy.
Gonads.
Gravity ripples.
Gravity, sponsored by Red Bull.
Great tits.
Grey goo.
Growing pot in the greenhouse.
H5N1 pandemic avian flu.
Hearing a number such as 10,000 and wondering what it is in binary.
Herpes.
High-fiving a robot arm.
Highly cited papers.
Humpback whale song.
Hunger strike when I don't get tenure.
Hypermatter annihilation reaction.
I'm Bill Nye, BIATCH!
In precise terms, deady, deady, dead dead.
Indescribable frustration.
Integral charts.
Intermediate host.
Internet arguments about Richard Dawkins.
Interstellar space.
Invasive carp.
Irrefutable proof of life on Mars.
isaac Newton's nocturnal emissions.
Isaac Newton's third law of first dates.
Island biogeography.
J.B.S. Haldane.
Jerk off in an MRI.
Jizz in a tube.
John Gurdon's hair.
Just some goddamn cells, ok?
Kansas Dept. of Education.
Killer cells.
Koko the gorilla's kittens.
Lab coat stains.
Lab hazing.
Lab rotation students.
Labcest (lab incest).
Laser spot damage.
Leaky barrels of nuclear waste.
Leftover pizza.
Legless lizards.
LIGO.
Liquid nitrogen.
Long, rambling questions after a conference talk.
Lotka-Volterra Equation.
Machine learning buttressed Bayesian statistical inference.
Mad cow disease.
Magnetic monopoles. That's right, plural!
Making out with the lab hottie in the dark room.
Maxwell's demon.
Measuring the diameter of a penguin's anus and winning an Ignoble for the trouble.
Melting sea ice.
Mercury fulminate disguised as crystal meth.
Methane from cows.
Mice sprouting tumors.
Mice that eat their babies.
Mice with tumors on their butts.
Microscopic black holes.
Mind-bending quantum paradoxes.
Mosquitofish.
Mouth Pipetting.
MRSA.
My major professor.
My messy lab.
Nads the size of Jupiter.
Nano-technology.
National Science Foundation.
Natural selection!
Nature cover.
Neil DeGrasse Tyson.
Newton's virginity.
No-one knows.
Nonoparticle swarms.
Not enough replicates.
Nuclear waste.
Nudibranchs.
Onions.
Opposable thumbs.
Overwhelming incomprehensible over-commitment.
P < 0.05.
P=0.06.
Passing out on lab ethanol.
Pauli exclusion principle.
Pavolov's doggy daycare.
Phalanges banging.
Phylum Echinodermata.
Physics envy.
Pickle juice.
Pipette fatigue.
Plasma surfing on solar flares.
Pornographic looking cloud.
Positronic neural net. It's a real thing!
Pouring liquid nitrogen down the back of someone's shirt.
Prancing about in a bunny suit in the BSL-3 lab.
Presenting yur data in Comic Sans.
Professor Richard Dawkins.
Prostate dysfunction.
Protein injection.
Putting dry ice in Eppendorf tubes.
Pythagoras's NEW theorem.
Quantum teleportation.
Regression to the mean.
Repetitive stress injury.
Replacing polymerase enzyme with rancid komodo dragon saliva.
Reprogrammed stem cells.
Reviewer 3.
Reviewers.
Rinderpest.
RNAses.
Robert Boyle's passed gas.
Robot overlords.
Robot sex.
Satellites.
Schisto-somiasis.
Schrodinger's cat.
Schrodinger's cattery.
Scientology.
Sea level rising... in my pants.
Sea squirts.
Self-replicating Mystery Meat.
Sequencing your own DNA.
Sequential hermaphroditism.
Serial monogamy.
Shitty verbal on the GRE.
Soft money.
Solar flares.
Spaghettification.
Speaking out loud in chemical formulas. To yourself.
Spit in a tube.
Spontaneous combustion of fecal matter.
Sprinkling salt on sliced tomatoes and thinking, “Osmosis at work!”
Stashing a six-pack in the lab fridge.
Static electricity.
Statisticians with haemorrhoids.
Stephen Pinker's hair.
Steven Hawking talking dirty.
Stonehenge.
Tachyons, bitch.
Taking shots from the 70% ethanol.
Tardigrades.
Testing bunnies with cosmetics.
Tetrahydro-cannibinol.
Texas textbooks.
That one female engineer everyone knows but is afraid to ask out.
That one guy everyone in the field hates but who publishes way too damn often womehow.
That's a big pipette.
The 10 Inuit words for sperm.
The Ablation Cascade.
The Caspian Sea.
The control group.
The control group.
The Cosmological Constant.
The footnotes.
The God Delusion.
The Leidenfrost Effect.
The Matrix.
The metric system.
The moon.
The radioactive, undead corpse Marie Curie back from the grave, out for revenge.
The Scoville scale of pepper hottness.
The TARDIS.
The token female professor.
The unparalleled genius of Albert Einstein's ball sack.
Three gallons of pure ethanol.
TMNT ooze.
Topological insulators.
Total Maximum Daily Load.
Traumatic insemination.
Traumatic insemination.
Two-body problem.
Undergrads.
Undifferentiated stem cells.
Unethical bastardization of the scientific method.
Unicorns.
Untethered spacewalk.
Uranus.
Utter and complete lack of faculty presence at social activities.
Vaginal secretions.
Van Allen belt.
Violent relaxation.
Watching a baseball game and plotting trajectories in your head.
Watching fruit flies having sex.
Watson and Crick slash/fic.
We're gonna need a bigger fulcrum.
Weigh mouse poop.
Wet mergers with dynamical friction.
Your advisor marrying one of his other graduate students, who started after you did.
Your pervy advisor.
Hackers Against Humanity

Released at DEFCON 21 convention.
_______ A'int Nobody Got Time For Dat!!

_______ is a better replacement for crypto.
_______ is also monitored by Prism.
_______ is now outsourced to call centers in India.

_______ is what keeps us together.
_______ Killed the barrel roll!
_______ makes me puke rainbows.
_______ Put a bird on it!
_______ riding a Segway.
_______ shot first.
_______: You keep using that term. I do not think it means what you think it means.
_______. There's an app for that!
_______. This is why I cant have nice things!
/r/ _____.
35% of all hackers have to deal with ______.
All I did was ___________ but someone gave me a red card.
Am I the only one around here who _________
But does ________ run NetBSD?
Closing Ceremonies drinking game: Every time ____ is mentioned... DRINK!
Come to the dark side, we have _____.
Confession Bear Says: ____________
Def Con Kids will now focus on teaching young hackers ________.
Do you even _______?
Drink all the _____. Hack all the _____.
Go Go Gadget ________!
Go home ____, you're drunk
High Tech start-up company combines ______ with _____.
HOLY _______ BATMAN!!
I can haz ________.
I can't believe they rejected my talk on _______
I find your lack of ______ disturbing
I have the biggest ________, ever!
I look like a geeky hacker, but I don't know anything about _____.
I spotted the fed and all I got was _____.
I use _______ to secure all of my personal data.
I used to be a hacker like you, until I took a(n) _______ to the knee
I work 80 hours a week and still can't afford a ______
I would be doing more with my life, except for this _____ in the way
I'm fucking tired of hearing about _____.
I'mma let you finish but ______ is the best ______ of all time.
In a Congressional hearing, US CYBERCOM commander Gen. Alexander claimed the latest data breach was due to ______
In a shocking move Archive.org decided to NOT back up ______.
It smells like _________ in this room.
It's dangerous to go alone. Take _______.
Keep calm and ______
Las Vegas is best known for _________
Most hackers smell like _____.
My ______ brings all the _______ to the yard.
My extremely large _______ is what makes me better then you
Name something you should never do naked.
Next time we meet we should ______
Next year's scavenger hunt is rumored to include finding a ________ with a ________.
Not another _____ in the hotel elevator!
Occupy _____.
On the Internet, no one can tell you're _________.

One day, over my fireplace, I'm going to have a massive painting of ______ . You know, to remind me where I came from.
One does not simply ________.
Only half of programming is coding. The other 90% is _____
Our most powerful weapon for the Zombie Apocalypse will be ____
Rock, Paper, Scissors, Lizard, _______
Rule 34 _____
Security through obscurity is better than ______
So long and thanks for all the _______
The Ada Inititive is now attacking _________
The best part of Alexis Park was all the ______
The Maker Faire was unexpectedly interrupted by _______
The next cyber war will feature _____.
The only winning move is to ______.
The snozberries taste like ______.
These are not the _____. you are looking for
Today's PaulDotCom podcast featured _______
Tonight's Final Hacker Jeopardy category will be _________!
TSA wouldn't allow me through because of my ___________.
We decided to _________ to raise money for the EFF.
We should take _____ and push it ________.
Well, guess what? I’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more _____.
When I get drunk I am an expert on _______
Where can I download more RAM?
While alone in the server room I ______
Y U NO _______!!!!!
(wub) (wub) (wub)
0wning You
1.21 Jigawatts
10,000 Canadian Pennies
1337 Sp3ak
302 Card Redirect
3D printed P0rn
401 Unauthorized
403 Forbidden
404 Not Found
406 Not Allowed
500 internal card error
501 Card Error
503 Card Unavailable
64 Bit Keys
A "Pair of Docs"
A baby's arm holding an apple
A fake ID made from Kinko's
A giant cup of STFU
A Googly eyed blow job
A Hak5 Pineapple
A Ninja-tel Phone
A Payphone
A Raspberry Pi
A series of explicite Post-It notes
A series of tubes
A town with no ducks
A van down by the river
ACTII pr0n
Ada Initiative approved flesh-light with anti-rape condom included!
Aint nobody got time for dat!
All the Things!
Altair 8800
An arrow to the knee
and boom goes the dynamite
and then it died
Anonymous
Arbitrary code execution
asymmetric encryption
Awkward Hugs
awkward mouth hugs
Babe caught me slippin'
Bacon
Bath Salts
Being a dick on the internet
Being sexually aroused by the sight of TSA's gloves
Being the big spoon
Being the little spoon
Big Data
Big Dongles
But then I'd have to kill you
Butt chugging mom's boxed wine
Butthurt
Captain Crunch (John Draper)
Caressing a man's hairy chest
Cat memes
Check a look at you later
China
Chuck Norris
Clicking shit
coding while listening to whale songs
Copyright trolls
Crash Override
Crying over spilt milk
Cyber Punk
Cyber war
Cyber-douchery
Daaaaaanger Zone!
Dan Kaminsky
Dan Kaminsky Password Generator
Dark Tangent
Deep C Phishing
Def Con Wireless
derp.rar (yo.zip)
Dick and/or Balls
Die in a fire
Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA)
Doing the "(you are) NOT the father" dance
Don't Blink
Dongs
Double Facepalm
Double ROT13
Drones
Drunken Muppet
Edward Snowden
Electronic Frontier Foundation
End User License Agreement
EXIF data stalking
Facepalm
Fapped
Fapping on the family computer
Fapping while wearing a horse head mask
Fear Uncertainty Doubt (FUD)
FemiNazi's
Finished it last week!
First World Problems
Fish fingers and custard
Fist full of assholes
Flame wars
Flesh light
Flipping a table
Floppy Disk
FOIA Request
Forever Alone
Forking someone's repo
FX
Fyodor
Getting a sympathy boner
Getting F'd in the A with a D
Getting hammered in the ass so much you die of getting hammered in the ass
Getting thrown the the pool by the Goons with all your tech
Glasshole
Golf cart
Good Guy Greg
Got it done!
Grammar Nazi
Gray beard, gray balls
Grumpy Cat
Handcuffs
Hashtag
Hookers & Blow
how most 80's movies ended
HuBot (Chatroom bot)
Humperdink award
I should buy a boat
I Survived Ada Camp Challenge Coin
I'm a text
ICANN
Identity theft
If you know what I mean
ill-tempered sea bass
Implied Situational Consent
In the cloud
Infected email attachments
Ingress
It blended!
It's just a bunch of ones and zeros
John McAfee
Julian Assange
Just a sniff
Just the Tip
Kegels
Kevin Mitnick
Keyloggers
L0pht
Lady boner
Learning something at Con
Lemon Party
Level 8 Portal
Lock picks
Maintaining the Ballmer Peak
Making a sandwich
Maniacally laughing while wearing a monocle
Mansplaining
Math is hard. Lets go shopping!
Maturbating in a hot tub for a Ninja Badge
Mega
Mouth Hugs
My first Prostate Exam
My little Bronies (Adult Fans of My Little Pony)
My massive SSD
My sex robot Fisto Roboto
Na-ah-ahYou didnt say the magic word!
NAMBLA (North American Man/Boy Love Association)
Neck beard
Nigerian scammers
ninja badge
Ninjas, Pirates, Robots, and Zombies!
Nmap
No Reason
No Starch Press
North Korea's Twitter Account
Not a single fuck was given
Now I'm into something... Darker
NSA
Obvious
OMGBTFBBQ
One Salty Hash
Online backups
P0rn
Password: Guest
Passwords emailed in plain text.
Pastebin password files
Patrick Star
PedoBear
Pepper spray
Pirate Party
Please do the needful
Pool2Girl
Pop, Pop, Ret
PORK CHOP SANDWICHES!
Practicing Gringo Warrior at home with baby oil. Naked.
Prairie dogging during an interview
Prenda Law
Pressing the red button
Priest in a thong doing the Gangnam Style
Prism
Purchasing challenge coins on eBay
Put a bird on it
Put Kevin back
rage quit
Rageface
Rainbow tables
Real men of Genius
ReCaptcha
Red Shirts
redbull without a cause
Restore from backups
Ribbed for their pleasure
Ridiculously Photogenic Guy
Riding a horse
ROFLCOPTER
Rolling Natural 20's
Ruby on Rails
Rule 34
running backwards through a corn field
Sabu
Said no one ever!
schrodinger's cat
Script kiddies
Security by obscurity
Security Evangelist
Security theater
shenanigans
Shut up and take my money
Situational awareness
Six gummy bears and some scotch
Slow Clap
Something something danger zone. I know. I'm not even trying anymore.
Spacedicks
SPAM with Bacon
Sponge Bob Square pants gay lover
Spotting a FED
Spyware
Squirrel
SRDF (Self Righteous Dick Face)
Steampunk
Steve Wozniak
Sticky keyboard
Stolen laptops
Sweat, anger and shame
TARDIS
Tentacle Porn
That just happened and we let that happen.
That place where I put that thing that time.
That's Racist!
Thats What ~ She
The asshole sitting to my left
The asshole sitting to my right.
The fractured elements of her psyche reassembled themselves into an exact likeness of a snarling ferret and she self-
destructed
The plan was to crowd source a plan.
The smell of glitter and lost dreams
The Spanish Inquisition
There's talks at DEF CON?
Threat modeling
Throat Punching
TL;DR
Tongue punch that fart box, boy
Toxic BBQ
Tractor Beam
Trigger word
Truffle Shuffle
Two Girls One Cup
UDP Handshake
Undercover NBC DateLine Reporter
User Error
Using 4Chan for parenting advice
Using womens rights for personal gain
Vegas 2.0
Vinyl Vanna
W.O.P.R.
Warp core breach
Weak Sauce
White Shirt
Why not Zoidberg?!
Wikileaks
Wilfrord Brimley's Mustache
Windows 8.1
Windows update
Zero F**K's Given!
Special Set
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Special Set
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
Cards Against Security Special
https://store.fortinet.com/fortistore/SelectProd.do?prodId=246
An IT Security themed set created by Fortinet, for sale on Fortinet's website and also
sold at IT Security trade shows.
_____ can often represent the weakest.
_____ means never having to say you're sorry.

_____ will help make everything more secure.
9 out of 10 experts agree, _____ will increase your security effectiveness.
As a security admin, it probably won't come as a surprise to you that my favorite
childhood hobby was _____.
Hey, did you hear about that new malware called _____?
I keep _____ in a case above my desk.
I was considering dating a security expert, until they gave me _____.
I wrote a syslog parser that found a user who was _____.

Our CIO has a framed a picture of _____.
Our in house team handles _____.
The man who trades _____ for security does not deserve, nor will he ever receive, either.
The pen tester found _____ in the trash while dumpster diving.
When I'm not at work, I really enjoy _____.
Who needs network credentials when you have _____?
You can work around the issue by _____.
1337 sp34k.
20M records stolen from the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame.
6 games of Spot the Fed.
A 2600 Magazine Letter to the Editor.
A 300 baud acoustic coupler.
A 4 character password.
A biometric-locked data center you can blind telnet into.
A book called 'Computer Forensics For Dummies'.
A Botox SQL injection.
A brute-force attack squad.
A code repository with no backups.
A corny security themed music video on YouTube.
A data breach of cat memes.
A deny any rule.
A firewall support call to Bangalore.
A Last Generation Firewall.
A password cache posted to Pastebin.
A password written on a post-it under your keyboard.
A pen test with an actual pen.
A playground visit from Cipher the Encryption Marmot.
A politician explaining network security.
A proper Oxford English dictionary attack.
A QSA you found on craigslist.org.
A reality show about PCI compliance.
A sentient keystroke logger.
A thorough TSA body cavity search.
A vicious slap fight at Defcon.
A WIFI pineapple.
A WoW auction hack.
Acting lessons at Security Theater.
Actually meeting complexity requirements.
Adding a firewall rule without first allowing your remote connection.
ADHD reverse engineering.
All of China and most of North Korea.
An accidental factory reset.
An admin account with a default password.
An alert email from an unplugged server.
An allow any rule.
An ID-10-T error.
An illustrated history of cryptography.
An old switch you're too scared to replace.
An old version of OpenSSL.
An ominous SSID of "Monitoring My Neighbors".
An online bully who takes your lunch money.
An original Cap'n Crunch whistle.
An undocumented feature appears!
APTs created by a 9 year old.
Atari 8 bit encryption.
Awkward social engineering.
Being demoted back to the helpdesk.
Biometric authentication using a severed thumb.
Borrowing an access card to the server room.
Browsing the Nickelodeon of the Deepweb.
Bruce Schneier vs. Chuck Norris at Maddison Square Garden.
chown -R nobody-nobody.
Citing the first and fourth amendments from memory.
Commandeering SETI@home for nefarious purposes.
DDoSing your kids' Minecraft server.
Doxxing everyone you don't like.
Dropping a server onto your CTO's Porsche.
Edward Snowden in a musical about Kevin Mitnick.
Explaining your security job to your mom.
Exploiting MySpace at a 2004 hack-a-thon event.
Fileserver with a token ring card.
Getting blinded by an LX transceiver.
Hacking the planet.
Hacking the WOPR with cheese.
Hacking your partner's home security cameras.
Halle Berry in Swordfish.
Heartbleed.
Hillary Clinton's email server.
Hosting a warez BBS on Dad's Apple IIe.
Illuminati steganography embedded in Wikipedia.
Implementing @SwiftOnSecurity tweets.
Insufficient caffeine.
It's a Unix system. I know this!
John McAfee's Lecture circuit in Belize.
Jumping the Wireshark.
Laser-generated random numbers for cryptography.
Leaked celebrity photos.
Licking a UPS battery terminal to check if the battery is good.
Metasploit. Metasploit. Metasploit. It's just fun to say.
Mikko Hypponen's ponytail.
Nigerian princess spam.
Old school wardialing with punch cards.
One phish, two phish, red phish, Blowfish.
Partying with the Feds.
Patching your patch the next day.
PC versus Mac security wars.
Polymorphic malware delivered via smoke signals.
Poorly thought out password requirements.
Port knocking on backdoors.
Port scanning using echolocation.
Proxying blacked out sports streams through Antarctica.
Retiring on the proceeds from dating-site scams.
Rooting the Timex Sinclair.
Running metasploit against whitehouse.gov.
Running your own IRC server.
Sandra Bullock in The Net.
Script kiddies from Romania.
Security through obscurity.
Sending emails to all your contacts about the Teddy Bear virus.
Shellshock.
Skipping the 'hard' parts of PCI compliance.
Spoofing the CDC in an email to get out of work.
Stalking someone through Ingress portal takeovers.
Taking an XP box to BlackHat.
Texting while Wardriving.
The Code Monkey song.
The futility of hacking a refrigerator video feed.
The Gospel of Schneier.
The man in the middle.
The surgeon general saying "Always use password protection".
The TOR network.
The vendor saying it was minor.
Thinking your live threat map is a scene from War Games.
Time traveling phone phreaks from 1986.
Transferring over sneakernet.
Trojans, botnets and zombies. Oh my!
Trusting but not verifying.
Two factor auth with a cereal box decoder ring.
Using a CAPTCHA flaw to access the IRS mainframe.
Using an exploit you saw on CSI:Cyber.
Using PPTP over IPSec encapsulated in SSL.
Using the same password for banking, social media, and your work VPN.
Using the server room micro-climate as a humidor.
Using the Tao of Pooh as a book cypher.
Venom.
Wannabes hacking Tumblr.
Wardialing a series of tubes.
WikiLeaks.
Winnie The Pooh's Honeypot.
Your security analyst intern selling vulnerabilities for profit.
Hackers Against Humanity 2 Special
Released at DEFCON 22 convention.
Set Cats Against the World
http://thecatshavethecards.com/160706.html
Created and sold as a fundraiser for SOXrescue in California. The sales from each
deck helps provide food, shelter, and medical treatment for one feline for one
week. Have fun playing the game knowing you helped a homeless kitten in need
get a second chance at life as well as finding their forever homes.
Visit SOXrescue.org for more information on their mission & organization.
SOXrescue is a registered 501c3 nonprofit organization EIN#47-2844564
Prompt Cat videos and ______.
Prompt Cats vs. ______.

Prompt Girls don't like boys. Girls like Cats and ______.
Prompt I canceled plans to do ______ with my cat.
Prompt I caught my cat looking at ______ on the internet.

Prompt I meowed at my cat and she replied with ______.
Prompt My tedious journey toward the litter box led me to ______ instead.
Prompt Sorry, I can't go out tonight, I'm celebrating ______ with my cat.
What do cats dream?
Prompt (Two white card answer)
Response A CATaholic.
Response A choreographed ally-cat fight in the style of 1978's film Grease.
Response A good ol' fashion Cat Mitzvah.
Response A thunderstorm raining cats and cats… Because dogs suck.
Response Aggressively swiping right on CATinder. The future of Catcalling.
Response Blaming the dog because cats are purrrfect.
Response Carrying a cat around in a baby chest harness and picking up on strangers.
Response Cat orgies on the hood of a car.
Response CATastrophes.
Response Cats Against Humanity.
Response Cats-cinñ eras.
Response CATurday Bitches!
Response Colonel Meow with a candle stick in the library.
Response Doing hot laps around the house at 3am.
Response Enjoying empty cardboard-boxes.
Response Fidel CATstro.
Response Frequently yelling "Get back get back, don't Meow me like that!"
Response Getting tipsy on MosCATo wine.
Response Ignoring the rules of the game… Because cats.
Response Kitten my swole on.
Response Kittens, please.
Response Mastering the Sixteen hour catnap.
Response Realizing the Cat's asshole has kissed every surface of the house.
Response Singing Meow-chicka meow meow during foreplay.
Response The Dirty Hairball of Love.
Response The Great CATsby.
Response Thick Timb-purr. A real ladies' kinda wood.
Special
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Carbs Amidst Humility
https://www.thegamecrafter.com/games/carbs-amidst-humility:-vol-1
Created by Redditor PrinceVarlin
Introducing Carbs Amidst Humility! Ever heard the term "humble pie"? That's the flimsy pretense behind the name of our
unofficial, unauthorized and unheard-of expansion to Cards Against Humanity.
_______ brings all the boys to the yard.

_______ is the best thing about being an American, so long as you can also put with _______.
_______: Apply directly to the forehead.
_______: My anti-boner.
_______: Not a substitute for human interaction.
_______? Where we're going we don't need _______.
_______. That was when my childhood officially ended.
BREAKING NEWS: ________! What that means for your weekend, at 8.
Hush little baby, don't you cry; Momma's gonna buy you ________.
I really need a "Honk If You Love _______" bumper sticker.
I'm always ready to change the subject to _______ if a conversation starts to get awkward.
I'm proud to reveal that the last thing I googled was _______.
If you've never seen _______, you've never been on acid.
In the next Star Wars film, Darth Vader will discover that _______ was really _______ the whole time.
My most secret fantasy consists of _______, _______, and a liberal portion of _______ on the side.
No matter how much you try, you will never convince me that _______ is a substitute for a good night's rest.
Oh, I've been verynaughty. I think I deserve to be punished with _______.
On the eighth day, God created _______, and saw that it was…. okay.
TV these days is full of ________. In my day, the worst we had to worry about was _______.
What did I find under Mommy and Daddy's bed?
When this starts, you know it's time to leave the pub and head home.
Whenever I have guests over, they always say it's strange that I keep _______ in the refrigerator.
You only ever get one chance at _______.
71 virgins and 1 total slut.

A check for $3.86 from the Cleveland DMV.
A combination of Lucy and Ricky.
A damn fine milkshake.
A dead man's sandals.
A gay musical called "Gay."
A handjob from Stephen Hawking.
A massive collection of long-dried picked off scabs.
A menage a trois with Hillary and Bill.
A not-so-witty double entendre.

A short drop and a sudden stop.
A vague -yet menacing- government agency.
A wet nightmare.
A whole barrel of monkeys.
Actually choosing the thug life.
Admiral Ackbar's fish penis.
An executive transvestite.
An extravagant anal probe.
An extremely rare misprint.
Australians.
Basking in the afterglow of a night of passion spent with a 14-year-old exotic sex slave.
Being a professional glory hole designer.
Being filthy stinking rich.
Being humped by a moose.
Being insensitive.
Being overly dramatic on Facebook for all of you equally overly dramatic friends.
Bob Saget.
Breath so bad it killed an infant.
Choosing to fly Air Asia.
Clipping your toenails into a chip bag only to have a family member accidentally eat them later.
Dr. Frasier Crane.
Dracula, Blackula, and Son of Kong.
Drinking wine through a straw.
Dying because you drank a gallon of milk.
Farting in front of the Pope.
Fresh roasted kittens!
Gratuitous alien nudity.
Just casually summoning Cthulu.
Just not being evil enough.
Kissing Bill Clinton.
Kissing Hillary Clinton.
Lady Gaga's penis.
Lemon-stealing whores.
Lying on the ground and making noises like a beached whale.
Matching with your Mom on Tinder.
Me, Bender.
Michael Jackson's missing testicles.
Microwaving cats.
Milking a male cow.
Missing the toilet seat and just going on the floor.
MURDER
My prized collection of Duck Dynasty fan fiction.
Narwhals, the underwater unicorns.
Nipple tassels.
NOW IN 3D!
One cock-ring to rule them all.
Pronouncing GIF wrong.
Pronouncing the word "fabulous" fabulously.
Putting an entire apple in your anus.
Ragin' Cajun Redneck Gators.
Reading quietly and not being perverted in any way.
Running over hipsters with a steamroller.
Satan and all his little wizards.
Snuggling up with a she-wolf for the night.
Sodomizing Chewbacca while Han Solo watches jealously.
Spider-pig.
Stealing a toaster from the family of the girl you got pregnant while the Jimmy John's guy watches helplessly.
The buns my anaconda wants.
The Jelly of the Month Club.
The secret twin your parents have been hiding from you in the attic.
Three and a half blowjobs.
Tossed salad and scrambled eggs.
Total loneliness.
Zac Efron's detachable penis.
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Civility
https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/141101/Cards-Against-Civility
Cards Against Civility is themed around ‘those people’ who don’t seem to have manners and fit in with the rest of us.
You know who you are. Audi Drivers top the list.
______ is never funny, but if I’m President, I’m going to make _____ legal.
______. That’s why you need to sit down and shut the fuck up.
50% of marriages end in ______.
After living abroad for so long, I really feel like I’m an expert on ______.
At this point I’ll take anyone for President. So long as he’s not ______.
Dude! You can’t say that. You know. Because of ______.
Excuse me, but I wanted ______.
Honestly. I never liked you. You remind me of ______.
I expect that kind of behavior from ______, but not from you.
I swear by all that is holy, I will strangle _____ if I hear one more song about ______.
I’m a missionary with the Church of ______.Have you heard the Gospel of ______?
In Hollywood, no one cares if you’re into ______. But they do care if you’re fat. Just saying.
It was classic bait and switch. They told me to come down for ______, but all they really had was ______.
My boyfriend dumped me on my birthday because of ______.
Oh. Sorry. I would have held the elevator, but I prefer ______.
Pfft. It’s all a smoke screen. Immigrants. Ebola. They’re just trying to cover up ______.
Spoiled assholes ruin it for everyone. Now we can’t have _____ at school.
Stop trying to negotiate. It’s $50 for a handjob. $100 for full service. And $250 for ______.
There’s no cure for stupid. It’s not like you can put it in the microwave for two minutes and POOF out comes ______.
What kind of person writes a check in line at the supermarket?
11 items in a 10 items or less lane.
Another fucking joke about hipsters.
Any one of you fucking deadbeat assholes under the age of 30.
Audi™ drivers who take two parking spaces.
Bitches be trying to get with this.
Breath so bad, you can see it from space.
Chicks who just won't cum no matter how much time you spend down there doing everything she fucking asks.
Cocksuckers. All of 'em.
Comic sans.
Cultural bias.
Entitled pricks who pirate music and probably this game.
Finding out it's pity sex.
Friend zones.
Fuck you.
George Costanza.
Girls who comment on my size.
Gordan Ramsey. Fuck him.

Guys who don't return the favor with a reach-around.
Housewives who call what they do work.
Idiots who think they own the whole goddamn road. It's called a turn signal, asshole!
Interior designers who really need to fuck off.
Kids who don't get off my goddamn lawn.
Locking my car door when poor people are around.
Lousy tippers.
My asshole kids who always leave the door open and heat the whole damn neighborhood.
People who are called retarded for acting retarded, not people with actual mental of physical disabilities.
People who avoid eye contact.
People who brag about the chairty work they do.
People who call their adopted pet a "rescue".
People who cum first.
People who don't flush.
People who don't hold doors open for others.
People who don't hold the elevator.
People who get cancer and never shut up about it.
People who get paid less because they are worth less.
People who interrupt me.
People who need to be told not to answer their cellphones inside movie theaters.
People who should be "sent back to where they came from".
People who should go to jail just because they look like criminals.
People who tweet pictures of their food and then send it back because it's cold.
People who type in ALL CAPS.
Pushy salesmen.
Racists with atrocious grammar.
Regifters.
Rich people and their money problems.
Saying gay when you mean lame.
Shutting your fucking whore mouth.
Smug-ass Prius™ owners.
Social Justice Warriors who can't take a fucking day off.
Someone who really needs to have his face stapled to his ass.
Statistically appropriate racial profiling.
That guy at work who never refills the toner or coffee.
Voter registration laws.
White trash.
Your ugly fucking face.
Cards Opposing Society: Back in Black Pack

http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/back-in-black-pack.html
______ + ______ = The AIDS crisis not being over.

______ was the cause of the Holocaust.
______ wuld totally beat ______ in a fight, hands down.
______ x ______ = ______
______? Really?! Holy Shit, Russia!
______. That's why you need to sit down and shut the fuck up.
"Gentlemen, I'm sure you're wondering why I asked you here this evening.
It's a long story, but it all began with ______."

All hail ______!
An officer from the Ferguson Police Department was placed on unpaid leave after reportedly ______.
At my signal, unleash ______.
Crossfilters won't stop talking about a new exercise in their routine that involves ______.
Daddy, what made you divorce Mommy?
Dear Allah, if I promise to stop ______, will you let me into Heaven and give me 72 virgins?
Do you suffer from ______? Find instand relief with ______.
Don't get me wrong, I think what Hitler did and stood for is horrible, but you have to admit he was spot on about
______.
Failure in Syria led to the rise of ______.
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to ______.
Forgive me Father, I have ______.
Fuckk the Zombie Apocalypes! What about the impending ______ Apocalypse!?
Half man. Half ______.
Hallelujah, it's raining ______.
Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get ______!
Honestly, I never liked you. You remind me of ______.
I am the King of ______!
I didn't want to tell it to their faces but their baby reminds me of ______.
I expect that kind of behavior from ______, but not from you.
I had no idea you could milk ______.
I knew it meant trouble when I heard a voice scream "______!" mid-flight. And unfortunately, I was right.
I'm a missionary with the Church of ______. Have you heard the Gospel of ______?
I'm embarassed to admit it, but I know more about J. R. R. Tolkien's Middle Earth than I do about ______.
I'm not sure what to get my mom for Mother's day, but I'm getting your mom ______.
In a tragic turn of events, ______ has deteriorated into nothing more than ______.
It feels good to finally make peace with my sister. I never thought she would forgive me for ______.
It's a bird! It's a plane! No, it's ______!
Last night while I was masturbating, I started to think about ______ right as I was about to climax.
My biggest idol is ______.
My new podcast will be aptly named: This Week in ______.
My secret fetish is ______.
Suzy, if you don't eat your food and keep misbehaving, ______ will come and get you.
The reason for my non-existent sex life is ______.
The world is burning, and ______ can only do so much to save it.
There is no such thing as a dumb question. Unless it's a question about ______.
They say ______ is the best medicine.
Warning: This product contains trace amounts of ______.
Welcome to the "Age of ______."
What did I do that caused my parents to beat me as a child?
What did South Carolina replace the Confederate Flag with on its buildings?
What gave me unforgiving, ever lasting, flaming diarrhea?
What would you do for a Klondike Bar?
What's the most efficient form of birth control?
Yo, bro, you tried ______? Shit's straight fire.
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Question Cards
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/chaos-aghast-vulgarity-question-cards-90-cards.html
After handcuffinf your partner to the bed, what's your next move?
Alfred caught Batman and Robin doing what in the Bat Cave?
Before dying, I would like to experience ______ and most importantly ______.
Before having sex, I dim the lights, light a candle, and ______.
Breaking News!! California just became the first state to ______.
Bud Light Presents Real American Heroes. We Salute you Mr. ______.
Choosy mom's choose ______.
Do you suffer from ______? Get instant relief with ______.
For our anniversary I got my wife ______.
Forget about the "Bucket Challenge". I'm looking forward to the ______ Challenge.
Gay sex so good, it can only be described as ______.
Grandma's cookies are so good, when she makes them, she adds a pinch of ______.
Ho! Ho! Ho! Here comes ______.
How do prisoners get to celebrate Halloween?
How do you manage to be the person you are?
I don't believe in spanking children. The appropriate punishment is ______.
I was caught having sex with the hot new ______.
I'm blonde, so what's your excuse?
If Boys have a penis and Girls have a vagina, what do transgenders have?
If you could have a parade, who would you invite to perform?
If you were a teacher, what subject would you teach?
If you were on death row, what would you have as your last meal?
In a world full of ______ be ______.
Instead of a raise, my boss gave me ______.
It's crispy... It's crunchy... What is it?
It's your first day as King of the World, what are you doing?
Mom loves nothing more than ______ in the morning.
Motel 6 leaves the light on for you. What do you leave behind for them?
My boss's wife loves to ______.
My favorite charity is working hard to find a cure for ______.
My favorite sex position involves ______ and ______.
My love rod needs some man-scaping, what should I use for the job?
Never put your dick in ______.
Not every kiss begins with Kay Jewelers, some kisses begin with ______.
Nothing gets mom's horny box wet like ______.
On a recent vacation I was arrested for ______.
Relax, it's my hot new ______.
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. God made me pretty, what happened to you?
The Coroner's report was just issued and the cause of death was ______.
TMZ caught me red-handed doing ______ with ______.
Today on Elmo's World we are going to learn about ______ and ______.
What brought the neighborhood orgy to an abrupt end?
What delifhtful dish are you brining to the Hannibal Lecter dinner party?
What did you stuff the Turkey with on Thanksgiving?
What do you dream about?
What do you think Porn Directors mastrubate to?
What do you wnat written on your tombstone?
What happens when you hit the wrong hole during sex?
What helps you forget about your pain and sorrows?
What in God's name are you hiding in your back pack?
What in the wide world of sports is going on here?
What is your least favorite thing about humanity?
What makes you moist?
What makes you so amazing in bed?
What scares you most about going on a first date?
What were you ding with your boss in the back seat of his car?
What will your internet search history reveal about you?
What would you do if your blind date turned out to be completely insane?
What's better than a hot naked person in your bed?
What's better than a threesome?

What's Celia's guilty pleasure?
What's crazier and more exciting than a hummer?
What's more disturbing than shaving your Dad's balls?
What's one place you would never put your penis?
What's the evilest thing you've ever done in your life?
What's the grossest thing I will find in your refrigerator?
What's the last gift you gave someone?
What's the most embarassing thing your parents know about you?
What's the most Taboo part of your relationship?
What's the one thing you like about the opposite sex?
What's the weirdest thing you've ever done?
What's your favorite thing to do after a hard day at work?
What's your go to trick to always get you laid?
What's your idea of foreplay?
What's your most embarassing childhood memory?
What's your top priority being a sex education teacher?
What's your wildest fantasy?
When entertaining friends you should never ______.
When sex is on the menu, there's nothing like ______.
Why can't i sleep at night?

Why did God create the menstrual cycle along with the yeast infection?
Why did you break things off with your ex?
Why do dogs smell other dogs butts?
Why is my penis red and crusty?
Why is there so much blood in my alcohol system?
Wine improves with age. I improve with ______.
Women can fake anything, including ______ and ______.
You might as well face it, you're addicted to ______.
You're granted byt one wish. What will you wish for?
http://www.cordsagainstharmony.com/cords-against-harmony-vol-1/
Created by Redditor th0r4z1n3.
_____ ain't nothin' but trouble.

A healthy relationship is one part _____, and two parts _____.
After my last rectal exam, the doctor surprised me with _____.
Eventually Law Enforcement had to bring the stand-off to an end by storming the building & throwing _____ into the
compound.
Fuck the Zombie Apocalypse! What about the impending _____ Apocalypse!?
In a bizarre turn of events General Johnson confessed to _____ on his deathbed.
In a surprising revelation, George Lucas revealed that Star Was was actually inspired by _____.
In a tragic turn of events, _____ has deteriorated into nothing more than _____.
In breaking news we now go live to Olmstead, Wisconsin where _____ has just collided with _____.
In response to recent tragedies officials are now considering putting _____ on airplanes.
Locals scramble to prepare as _____ approaches the islands of Taiwan.
My secret fetish is _____.
My wife's walk-in closet full of shoes is impressive, but my walk-in closet full of _____ is totally awesome!
President Barack Obama took this opportunity to speak out in support of _____.
The world is burning, and _____ can only do so much to save it.
Thomas Edison has been quoted as saying, "Genius is one percent _____, ninety nine percent _____.”
Tru Blood turn up the heat this season with a sex scene that involves both _____ and _____.
While not embraced by Western Culture, _____ is considered a delicacy in many Third World countries.
World News Tonight: In a show of force, Ukrainian forces have taken control of _____, but nobody really seems to have
noticed.
You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both, and there you have _____.
A bad case of swamp-ass.

A honky tonk badonkadonk.
A large hemorrhoid.
A passionate kiss on the nape of the neck.
A penis so small it's almost an innie.
A proctologist with abnormally girthy fingers.
A second hand Pocket Pussy.
A severe case of genital warts around the mouth.
A six foot tall stripper with an Adam's Apple, and broad shoulders, that makes you question your sexuality.
A small white penis.

A smaller whiter penis.
A stripper that dances to "Dude Looks Like a Lady."
A thuggish ruggish white dude.
A transvestite hooker.
An audiobook of Fifty Shades of Grey narrated by Betty White.
An energy drink for Asian homosexuals.
Anal fissures.
Anal seepage.
Aspergers.
Autistic children.
Autoerotic Asphyxiation.
Barrio girls.
Battered Wife Syndrome.
Beating red headed-stepchildren for fun and for sport.
Being a goddamn ninja!
Being easily offended.
Binge eating.
Bloody discharge.
Braiding your pubic hair.
Brutal dildos.
Butt-hurt fanboys.
Cards that make you feel uneasy because they hit a little too close to home.
Child abuse.
Coming out of the closet.
Damn crackas!
Dropping F-Bombs like Napalm.
Erotic birthday cakes.
Fecal matter.
Female genital mutilation.
Finding out she used to be a man.
Fisting.
Flesh eating disease.
Furry fetish sex.
Gay midget porn.

Genital warts.
Getting sexually aroused during a prostate exam.
Getting touched by your uncle.
Girl on girl porn with two chicks that used to be dudes.
Going to a psychic and finding out that all of your past lives were just as shitty as the one you have now.
Growing a goatee to look like the Evil Time-Line version of yourself.
Having a dick so small you piss on your balls.
Hep-C Cola.
Hermaphrodite sex.
Human trafficking.
K-Y Jelly.
Knowingly spreading the virus that causes AIDS.
Life in da hood.
Midget oil wrestling.
Miley Cyrus twerking.
My Little Pony Cosplay.
My secret poop fetish.
My weapon of ass destruction.
Nerd rage! Ahhhh!
Not being able to stop texting long enough to play the damn game!
Open mouthed kissing.
Playing this damn game with someone who can barely read.
Pornography featuring the morbidly obese.
Putting the Pimp Hand down.
Rich kids that act all gangsta.
Rosie O'Donnell's fat floppy ass.
Sexy midgets.
Shaved ferrets that look like a bunch of wieners with feet.
Shitting in the taco meat.
Skinny bitches.
Some weird butt stuff.
Sweaty ball sack smell.
That jackass that got offended while playing, and stormed out of the room.
The Most Interesting Man in the World.

The smallest whitest penis.
The way black folks be.
The white man's inherent hate for anything that doesn't conform to his values & beliefs.
Thinly veiled sexual innuendo.
Third world cuisine.
Throwing dirty anal beads during Mardis Gras.
Tickling the taint.
Vaginal secretions.
War crimes.
Cults Attempt Hokypoky

http://www.drivethrucards.com/product/147535/Cults-Attempt-Hokypoky
_____? Thanks, Obama.
_____? That's in aisle four.
Help! My child is possessed by _____.
Kids these days have the coolest toys. I just saw one playing with _____.
Please turn to page 43 in your hymnal, “Jesus and _____.”
The hammer is _____.
The secret ingredient for today's signature dish? _____.

This Mother's Day, show Mom how you really feel, with _____.
Use with caution. Side effects may include _____ and _____.
What's in my wallet? _____.
When you get right down to it, there's no scientific proof of _____.
A goldfish in a condom.
A lollipop made of crystal meth.
Actual cannibal Shia LeBeouf.

An extra hour in the ballpit.
BALL CANCER!
Being photobombed by a Guy Fieri look-a-like.
Burning your friends alive.
Clopfic.
Cockscombs.
Dendrophilia.
Dirty, dirty whores.

Doing the hokypoky with amputees.
Failing to clear your browser history.
Giving your dad a Nuru massage.
Having your eye socket violated by a foul-mouthed rubber cat.
Injecting your testes with food dye.
Ladyboys.
Little bits of food found in the body hair of a stranger.
My First Crematorium Playset.
Offering to “Slytherin” her “Hufflepuff.”
Really inappropriate cosplay.
Replacing all the words to a song with “meow.”
Serial killers you want to snuggle with.
Something to do with people's asses. People think asses are funny.
Spending twelve hours debating the color of a dress with the entire internet.
That asshole who won't vaccinate their kids.
The fucking RNG.

The missing letters your pedantic friends keep pointing out.
The mystery and majesty of El Chupacabra.
The pelvic thrust.
The Spanish Inquisition.
The sweet, sweet sounds of cats in heat.
The vajankle.
Trying to explain why your service animal is wearing latex.
Turning a shitty series of books into a shitty series of movies.
Twerking to the theme of an 80's cartoon.
Unusually thick urine.
Using ventriloquism to volunteer someone as tribute.
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/spncah-set-1.html
A fan-made Supernatural themed expansion.
These cards are 2.5" x 3.5".
"Amen, Padaleski."
"I lost my shoe".
"I think you pissed off my sandwich."
"Oh, nothing, just the end of the world."
"Ola Mishamigos. J2 got me good. Really starting to feel like one of the guys."
[DEATH SLURPING]
[HEAT OF THE MOMENT PLAYING MUFFLED IN THE DISTANCE]
5/8 of a virgin.
A '67 Chevy Impala.
A 10-year demon deal.
A bitchface competition between Sam and Gadreel.
A bunch of people making up Supernatural card ideas because they have nothing better to do.
A butt thing.
A devil's trap inside a devil's trap inside a pair of hooker's skivvies.
A ditchable prom date.
A game of Monopoly causing another civil war in Heaven.
A game of strip poker played by angels in their true form.
A giant rainbow slinky.
A great big bag of dicks.
A hotel lobby crammed with Castiel cosplayers.
A never-ending djinn-induced sex party.
A pagan god who looks like Paris Hilton.
A racist ghost truck.
A recorded exorcism.
A siren trying to figure out how to best seduce a Brony.
A Supernatural convention.
A Supernatural Origins spinoff.
A threesome between William Shatner, Lucifer, and the Card Czar.
A vegan wendigo.
A Western Union package from 1861.
Adam Milligan.
An acapella choir of horny wendigos.
An anti-possession sigil tramp stamp.
Angel grace.
Angels falling from the sky.
Ash's mullet.
Assbutt.
Authentic wendigo cuisine.
Azazel's baby shit-colored eyes.
Balls.
Bathing in the blood of a hellhound.
Bees, my god.
Bees!!!
Bees?
Being constipated thanks to angelic transportation.
Being kidnapped by Becky Rosen.
Being rimmed by a Leviathan.
Being sensually necked by Benny Lafitte.
Being sexually attracted to a poodle.
Being snogged by Crowley to seal a deal.
Being the motherfucking Queen of Hell.
Blue Steel mugshots.
Bobby Singer.
Breeding with the mouth of a goat.
Burning on the ceiling of your house.
Burying your manpain so deep it stimulates your prostate.
Busty Asian Beauties.
BVeing too precious for this world.
Carry On Wayward Son.
Carver Edlund books.
Castiel getting a raging erection by sampling sliders at the supermarket.
Castiel hoarding guinea pigs in the pockets of his trenchcoat.
Castiel looking pensively at a bottle of lube.
Castiel, Angel of the Lord.
Castiel's pimpmobile.
Charlie Bradbury.
Continuity errors.
Crowley playing I Spy while locked inside the trunk of the Impala.
Crowley, King of Hell
Daddy issues.
Dead love interest congaline.
Dean getting his dick stuck in the exhaust of the Impala.
Dean having two angelic handprints seared on his rear because his ass was too heavy to yank out of hell.
Dean Winchester
Dean Winchester's fear of Yorkshire Terriers.
Dean's Braveheart speech.
Dean's face molded onto a frying pan.
Dean's sadness and self-loathing.
Dean's thigh holster.
Deep frying angel wings in a vat of holy oil.
Demon blood periods.
Dick Roman.
Dicks with wings.
Dirty talk over angel radio.
Discovering you're an angel condom for Balthazar.
Doctor Sexy MD.
Dr. Badass.
Drinking an entire liquor store to deal with your life problems.
Eating Crowley's tailor for breakfast.
Eating Richard Speight Jr's mustache to gain his powers.
Ellen Harvelle.
Endless Tuesdays.
Extreme codependency.
Falling in love with a unicorn.
Fanmade Supernatural Erotica.
Feeling your feelings so deeply that they stimulate your G-spot.
Finding out God was on a flatbread this entire time.
Finding out the hard way that angel semen glows too.
Forgetting Adam in the cage.
Forgetting that "Christo" exists.
Fuckin' around on the Impala to Eye of the Tiger.
Funny tasting tacos.
Gabriel's Self-Insert Casa Erotica Porn Collection.
Gadreel's bitchface.
Garth Fitzgerald IV.
Genital herpes.
Getting a pedicure with Bobby Singer at the Mall of America.
Getting addicted to demon blood.
Getting an anti-possession sigil tattooed on your ass.
Getting brutallly murdered in the first five minutes of Supernatural.
Getting caught with your dick inside of Mr. fuzzies.
Getting stoned with Andrew Gallagher
getting third degree burns by sticking your dick in a pie straight out of the oven.
Ghosts.
GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!
Gordon Walker.
GORDON!!!
Grabbing something of value and faking your own death.
Grave desecration.
Grave robbing.
Grumpy, Sneezy, and Douchey.
Hallucinating Lucifer hacking off in the corner of the motel room.
Having "the sex" with you.
Having angry sex with Bela Talbot.
Heaven's Most Adorable Angel.
Hellhounds.
Henry Winchester.
Holy Oil Enemas.
Holy water super-soakers.
Hot people.
Hunting accidents.
Identity theft.
Idjits.
Incest.
Interrogating a cat.
Jared Padalecki playing Sam Winchester playing Jared Padalecki playing Sam Winchester.
Jefferson Starship
Jensen Ackles playing Dean Winchester playing Jensen Ackles playing Dean Winchester.
Jerking off into a pool of Supernatural fans' tears.
Jo Harvelle.
Jody Mills flirting with a handcuffed Demon Dean.
John Wayne Gacy's clown suit.
John Winchester.
Kevin Freaking Solo.
Kevin Tran: Advanced Placement.
LARPing with Charlie Bradbury
Leaving an awkward voice mail.
Licking things to claim them as your own.
Literally pulling a bottle of holy oil out of Sam's ass.
Lucifer.
Lucifer's bifurcated tongue swirling between your toes.
Lucifer's sparkly bright pink wings.
Making a deal with a crossroad's demon to get a penis the size of a freshly baked baguette.
Mama Tran, official BAMF.
Mary Winchester.
Matt Cohen's cheerleader outfit.
Meatsuits.
Meg Masters
Melting down an angel blade and making it into a double-ended dildo.
Men of Letters.
Metatron.
Misha Fucking Collins.
Moose.
My sex life.
My soul (or lack thereof).
Naked on the Impala, covered in bees.
Naomi selling carbon copies of Dean Winchester on Etsy
Necrophilia.
Not angels.
Not giving a shit about the impending Apocalypse.
Not Moose.
NUTCRACKER!
Organizing a ring of shapeshifters to have orgies with yourself.
Overcompensation.
Peace out, bitches!
Performing a blood ritual to obtain that pie you were craving in the wee hours of the morning.
Pig-'n-a-poke.
Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie.
Pop culture references.
Popping a boner while experiencing sleazy motel magic fingers.
Pretending to care.
PUDDING!!
Putting an anfel banishing sifil on your ass to prevent Balthazar from groping it without consequence.
Redneck tractor angel.
Rhonda Hurley's Pink Satin Panties
Riding off into the sunset in the Impala.
Rock salt hula hoops.
Sam Winchester laughing alone with salad.
Sam Winchester.
Sam Winchester's death penis.
Sam's bitchface.
Sam's lost shoe.
Samlicker81.
Season 7 dick jokes.
Sex torture dungeon.
Sexting in Enochian.
Sharing a pizza with Death.
Sheriff Jody Mills.
Singer Salvage Yard
Sinking the Titanic out of spite for Celine Dion.
Slow dancing with aliens.
Snorting lines of Pixy Stix with the Trickster.
Soulless Sam.
Stunt doubles that are actually shapeshifters.
Suicidal teddy bears.
Supernatural
Taking a Sharpie to the Mark of Cain and making it look like a penis.
Taking Castiel to a brothel in hopes of getting him laid before the world ends.
Teaching an angel to love.
Team Free Will.
Teddy bear doctors.
The annoying sound of quick flapping caused by a wendifo sprinting through a forest wearing flip flops.
The Apocalypse
The Archangel Gabriel.
The Archangel Michael
The Archangel Raphael.
The Batcave.
The Blood of Christ.
The Croatoan Virus.
The Devil himself.
The door to Oz.
The fourth wall.
The Ghostfacers.
THE GODDAMN BATMAN!!
The greatest hits of mullet rock.
The Holy Bible
The homoerotic subtext of Supernatural.
The junk inside my trunk.
The Mark of Cain.
Special Set
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Cards Against Millenials
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/cards-against-millennials.html
This is a fun take on the original game Cards Against Humanity. This version is themed for the millennial generation (which is
roughly 1990-2010). Unlike the original, this game is CLEAN, and appropriate to play with younger siblings.
______ + ______ = ______

______: the new smoking.
______: There's and app for that.
Big Girls Don't Cry ... unless they're ______.
Doctor Oz's latest medical advice: ______ twice a day.
Don't even think about ______ because you will get pregnant and die.
Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, hide yo husband, cause they ______.
I couldn't live a day without ______.
I gotta pocket, gotta pocket full of ______ ... for some reason.
I kissed ______ and I liked it.
I lost a bet and had to name my second child after ______.
I want to be ______ when I grow up.
I've heard that in South America it's considered polite to smile when you're ______.
In WWIII the weapon of choice will be ______.
It's Always Sunny in ______.
Jack, I want you to draw me like I'm ______.
Life without ______ is no life at all. Or so my dad used to tell me.
New this season on the CW: America's Next Top ______.
Next week, Maury helps ______ that is addicted to ______.
Next year's best seller will be ______: The ______ Story.
On my resume my skills included ______ professionally, and I listed ______ as a reference.
One night I woke up and I was ______.
Our prom was completely ruined by ______.
So while I was ______, he was off ______; and that's why we broke up.
Step 1: ______
Step 2: ______
Step 3: Graduate.
The last thing I googled was ______.
The most recent piece in the MoMA is a ten-foot sculpture tribute to the subtle beauty of ______.
The newest ride at Disney World takes guests through ______, and right into ______, leaving them with a sense of wonder.
The only real solution to the modern problem of ______ is ______.
The opposite of ______ is ______.
The secret ingredient to grandma's casserole is ______.
They should teach ______ in our high schools.
This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful to ______ for ______.
Today in health class the teacher showed us ______.

Today's medical breakthroughs still haven't found a cure for ______.
Urban dictionary defines ______ as ______.
What did I catch my brother doing for a Klondike Bar?
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
What's your favorite way to celebrate your birthday?
When will kids these days learn? You can't be ______ without ______.
Why did my parents get divorces?
With my luck, my patronus would be ______.
You is kind, you is smart, you is ______.
#YOLO
A bi-racial child.
A black hole.
A Christmas miracle.
A colonoscopy.
A complicated relationship.
A cryptic text from my girlfriend.
A degree in art conservation.
A dementor.
A diminishing attention span.
A flying cat farting rainbows.
A graveyard of webkinz.
A hidden copy of 50 Shades of Grey in your parents' nightstand.
A holoback girl.
A Latino Disney princess.
A live-in boyfriend.
A llama wearing a hat.
A rap battle.
A really good burrito.
A red solo cup.
A sketchy craigslist deal.
A strong, independent black woman who don't need no man.
A threating email forward.
A unique birthmark.
A veggie burger.
Accepting candy from a stranger.
Adopting a shelter dog because Oprah told you to.
Affirmative action.
Al Gore.
All-nighters.
An a capalla choir.
An obese toddler.
Arson.
Asians.
Awkward teenage years.
Barack Obama in '08.
Being "tumblr famous".
Being a global citizen.
Being naked.
Being politically correct.
Beyonce.
Black people.
Blogging.
Blue Ivy
Bootylicious.
Canadian bacon ... I mean ham.
Comcast customer service.
Commercialism.
Concealed Tattoos.
Considering Scientology.
Crocs.
Curing measles.
Dancing like Ellen.
Dibs.
Donating your eggs to pay for college.
E-cigarettes.
Egotism.
Eminem.
Extra-strength deoderant.
Eywa.
Facebook.
Feeling like a plastic bag blowing through the wind.
Feminism
Finding the right filter on Instagram.
Gangnam Style.
Getting messed up by the movie Inception.
Going to graduate school instead of getting a job.
Going vegan for a month.
Grandpa's racist jokes.
Guyliner.
Gym class.
Hagrid's bellybutton.
Hillary Clinton.
Honey Badger.
Honey Boo Boo
Indians.
Inheiriting global warming.
Internet cats.
Jaywalking.
Judge Judy.
Justin Beiber.
Kim Kardashian's butt.
Lieutenant Dan's leg.
Living at home until age 30.
Living in Hurley's dream.
Losing to China in the Olympics.
Magic Mike.
Making the Jenna Marbles face to people you don't want to talk to.
Making virtual friends.
Mark Zuckerberg.
Me, myself, and I.
Messing up Wikipedia articles.
Microsoft.
Miley Cyrus's tongue.
Mr. Mom.
My cellphone.
My ex-girlfriend.
My gameboy.
My GPA.
My little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
Nerds.
Netflix and chilling.
Never using calculus ever in your life.
Nicki Minaj.
Nicolas Cage.
Nope, Chuck Testa.
Not caring what the fox says.
Not even knowing where your school's library is.
Obamacare.
Online dating.
Organic, free range chicken.
Pants that sag to your ankles.
PARKOUR!
Peeling the protective plastic off of your new phone.
Pink slime.
Planking.
Playing video games.
Political intrigue.
Poor grammar.
President George W. Bush.
Racially profiling at airports.
Racism.
Regret.
Sarah Palin
Secretly being Taylor Swift's biggest fan.
Sharknado.
Skype dates.
Snooki.
Spanish as a second language.
Spell check.
Squeezing out of skinny jeans.
Stacy's two moms.
Stem-cell research.
Steve Jobs.
Surviving Y2K.
SWAG.
Taking a selfie first.
Taking artsy pictures of food.
Taking medical advice from Dr. Phil.
Tanning indoors.
Teen pregnancy.
Terrorism.
Tex-Mex.
Texting while driving.
That guy who pretends to be a stripper in the locker room.
That tim eyour hips lied to you.
The answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything.
The Apple corporation.
The fat twin.
The impending doom of humanity.
The internet.
The iPhone 6.
The LGBT agenda.
The person to my left.
The person to my right.
The race card.
The recession.
The royal baby.
The smell of ear gauges.
The suggestive nature of a Shake Weight.
The war on drugs.
This game.
Touring Europe.
Tweeting.
Twerking.
Urban mating calls.
Watching 60 minutes of vines.
Watching videos on youtube to learn how to dougie.
White people.
Your bros.
Your hard work being ruined by a bird in a slingshot.
Your single mother.
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Humility

https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/140867/Cards-Against-Humility
Cards Against Humility is themed around events and people that/who embarrass us. Grandma kissing you in front of
your friends would be an example, though it didn’t make the final cut, though watching porn with grandma in the room
did.
And just for that, you’re grounded. No more ______ for two weeks.
Helping my dad in the garage with ______ slowly turned into another conversation about ______.
I can’t stay mad at my husband even though he gave me ______.
I finally joined Facebook and I embarrassingly made my first post about ______.
I left my browser open and now my mom thinks I have a ______ fetish.
I ordered ______ for the holidays, but they sent ______ instead.
In my day, we didn’t have any fancy gadgets for ______.
Kill. Fuck. Civil Union. ______. ______. ______.
My jaw hurts because of ______.
My local team finally won. Woohoo. #___________.
My masturbation exit plan involves ______.

My phone bill includes calls to 976- ________.
Once I earned the nickname ______, I became the most popular student at school.
Paying for sex is only wrong if you pay with ______, or if it’s a Thursday.
The Cloud™ was hacked and all of my ______ pictures were stolen.
The thing I’ll do for $10,000…
The worst part about watching my parents having sex was ______.
Tonight on Jerry Springer. Pot-smoking parents and their obsession with______.
We spent our entire first date together arguing about ______.
What if this time, you’re the big spoon and I’m ______.
"Liking" my own status update.
A cost-effective toupee made from pubes.
A gaggle of aging trophy wives undergoing electrolysis.
A journal filled with high school quality poetry professing my love for Sister Mary.
A secret stash of clown make-up.
A stripper on her period.
An expired condom in my wallet.
Breastfeeding.
Dirty sexts from my mom that were meant for my dad.
Double-Dutch rudder.
Extra-snug control-top pantyhose.
Fartign during sex and stopping to take it all in.
Genital warts that hurt when I sit down or stand up.
Gerontophilia.
Getting a speeding ticket while wearing my girlfriend's bra and yarmulke.

Getting caught sniffing dirty underwear in a laundromat.
Getting sunburn on my sensitive, yet superfluous, third nipple.

Guys who measure their dicks.
Jocks who take peeks in the shower.
Kim Kardashian’s ass trumping real news.
Lying about the state I’m from to avoid questions of paternity.
Masturbating to the Sears™ catalog.
Misspelling my own name on a job application.
My Canadian girlfriend, who you’ve never met.
My collection of boogers shaped like U.S. Presidents.
My creepy uncle scratching himself in front of a mirror at K-Mart™.
My drunk aunt talking about her husband’s tiny pecker.
My homemade sex tape complete with fat folds and gas.
My mom’s lurid Match.com™ profile.
My mother’s constant stories about inappropriate cures for hot flashes, including popsicles and spray bottles.
My over-sized sex toys being delivered to the wrong address.
My parents finding a used pregnancy test in the bathroom.
My racist dad playing devil’s advocate.
Not washing up before oral sex.
Paying for porn.
Peeing with the door open when I think I’m alone.
People who hit ‘reply all.’
People who marry criminals who are still in prison.
People who masturbate to anime with the windows open.

People who write overly-sexualized fan fiction about Sherlock Holmes and John Watson.
Playboy™ articles.
Poorly photoshopped prom pictures of me and my cousin.
Popping a pimple on an old, flaccid dick.
Post-party selfies.
Putting warm butter on my genitals so my dog will lick it off.
Slut-shaming.
That not-so-fresh feeling.
The guy who hosts (and cleans up after) a lemon party.
The slut version of a serial killer costume on Halloween.
The walk of shame through a retirement home.
Tweeting pics of yourself in black face.
Twincest.
Using vegetables inappropriately and then still serving them for dinner.
Visible panty lines from adult diapers.
Watching adult movies with my grandmother in the room and having to shout the dialogue into her good ear.
Cards Opposing Society: Black Even Worse 1

http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/cos-black-even-worse-1.html
______ ain't nothin' but trouble.

______ can help any relationship.
______ gave me AIDS.
______ is why there aren't enough women in the sciences.
______: it's magically delicious.
______. It's a bitch.
______. No homo.
According to a new study, ______ is worse than we ever thought.
According to a recent study, more than 200 Americans die from ______ each year.
After my last rectal exam, the doctor surprised me with ______.
Bowing to years of pressure, the Washington Redskins have officially been renamed the Washington ______.
Colleges should really start offering classes in ______.
Crossfitters won't stop talking about a new exercise in their routine that involves ______.
Damn it Jim! I'm a doctor, not ______.
Hitler did nothing wrong; abortions should be legal for gay babies; Bush wasn't a bad president; and now I'll read the
card: what did I mastrubate to before I got here?
How did I get this restraining order?
How did I get through college?
How did my grandparents make it through the Great Depression?
I had no idea you could milk ______.
I'm not sure what to get my mom for Mother's Day, but I'm getting your mom ______.
I'm so hungry I could eat ______.
In a surprising revelation, George Lucas revealed that Star Wars was actually inspired by ______.
My secret fetish is ______.
President Barack Obama took this opportunity to speak out in support of ______.
Thanks to ______ I now have a crippling fear of ______.
The best part of waking up is ______.
There are two things I hate. Racism and ______.
What do we want? ______! When do we want it? Now!
What makes me moist?
What was the last thing I Googled?
While not embraced by Western Culture, ______ is considered a delicacy in many Third World countries.
While officially still frowned on, ______ is now permitted in the U.S. armed forces.
Why won't anyone sit with me?
You have my sword. "And you have my bow." "And my ______!"
You people are sick! There's nothing funny about ______.
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity Volume 1
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/chaos-aghast-vulgarity-volume-i-180-cards.html
...and then I got my dick real hard and jacked-off in that fucker's yard.
A "D" student with a perpetual boner.
A Chinese buffet located next door to an SPCA euthanasia center.
A couple queer fellows going down on each other in the local grocery store bathroom.
A creepy dude giving away free eggnog saples in the Men's room at Sheetz.
A cum guzzling thinder cunt.
A detachable penis.
A dripping wet poontang Professor schools horny young studs for extra credit.
A fudge packer in a candy store.
A girl who's into getting peppere sprayed.
A hot sticky load dripping from the chin of a spunk glazed face.
A humiliating trip to the Emergency Room for a candy cane extraction.
A midget Pimp beating a hooker to death with a bag of dildos.
A nookie obeseed Professor teaches young coeds a thing or two about sex.
A perpetual cycle of farting and puking from the stench.
A Redneck man with magnificent breasts.
A small penis with big saggy balls.
A sodomy labotomy.
A twig and berries shaved into your back hair.
Accidentally live streaming on Facebook while cheating on your spouse.
Accidentally sending dick pics to the family group chat.
Actually upset about Harambe.
All day I dream about sex.
Amateur porn queens deep-throating and gagging on massive man meat.
An aggressive sigh that signals profound sexual disappointment.
Asking your child if they want a brother or sister so you can decide whether to have the abortion or not.
Ass plowing, pussy chowing, wife swapping hubby.
Being caught watching porn by your grandmother.
Being chased by a masked mainiac with a chainsaw and an enormous erection.
Being cremated is my last chance at a smokin' hot body.
Big Black Butts
Big, black, large, and in charge!
Bigger Blacker Butts.
Blood drenched meat curtains.
Blood-Sucking Vampire Bitches
Blowing an Uber driver as payment for the ride.
Blue Vein Throbber.
Boy's night out for wieners.
Bubble-butt bitches grinding their pink holes on hard meat poles.
Buying a set of false teth from the Funeral Director at the local crematorium.
Casually watching porn on your cell phone while at your family reunion.
Celebrating your mom letting you try your first beer and cigarette through the umbilical cord.
Chugging cum from only the finest crystal chalice.
Clicking the share to social media button while watching a hardcore porn video.
Collecting used condoms that you randomly find in rest area parking lots.
Cream pie crazy women begging to be stuffed full of a man's banana cream.
Cum dumpster.
Cum stains on the pillow.
Dildo Lovin' Amateurs.
Dirty doggy-style sex fiends.
Disguising a fart with a cough.
Donating my long flowing pubes to "Locks of Love"
Dr. Seuss's "Oh the Many Place You Can Stick It."
Droppin a Deuce into a display toilet at Home Depot.
Dropping my cat off at the local Chinese Restaurant.
Enjoying my huge collection of sex toys I purchased off EBAY.
Filthy housewives cleaning more than the dirty house.
Finding a treasure chest of dick drawins while cleaning out your mom's basement.
Finding secret homemade Asian sex tapes.
Finger banging old Mary Jane rotten crotch while eating a corn dog at the County Fair.
Finger blasting the Prom Queen in the back seat of your Camaro at the local drive-in theater.
Flicking it, Licking it, and Sticking it.
forcefully sucking the piss right out of his dick.
Forgetting to wash your hands after using the bathroom.
Fuck her right in the pussy!
Gagging on all the shaft I can handle.
Getting a blowjob from a toothless Hobo down by the railroad tracks.
Getting a surprise visit from Krampus because you were naughty this year.
Getting an abortion so I can fit into my Prom dress.
Getting caught playing pocket pool at your child's Little Miss Teenage beauty pageant.
Getting fucked from behind by a man wearing a Horse Head.
Getting hammered doggy-style.
Getting off on hot group sex with your neighbors.
Getting ready for an intimate encounter with an exotic woman.
Giving your girl a "Wet Willy" with her own lady juice after giving her a finger fucking.
Grab 'em by the pussy.
Grandma made her pussy wet. (Hope it was one of her cats)
Grandma's saggy tramp-stamp.
Having "The Talk" with your 8 year old daughter and realizing how old you are.
Having a boner that will knock your socks off.
Having a three-way spanning three generations.

Having an orgy in a clow car.
Having sex with my psychiatrist on their fucking couch.
Her ... "Unenthisiastic hand-job" face.
Hiding an erection while wearing sweat pants.
Horny housewives dreaming about getting rammed by a strange man's thick throbbing cock.
Hot orgy housewives.
I have the weirdest boner right now.
I wouldn't be more of a sucker if I were on the end of a stick.
I'm a joker, I'm a toker, I'm a midnight smoker.
Innocent, virgin cheerleaders getting their sweet cherries popped by nasty, sweaty jocks in the boys locker room.
Jacking-off while watching porn and accidentally going live on Facebook.
Jerking off in your kids room and hear people laughing downstairs and then realizing they are watching you on the
nanny camp.
Kinky lesbian sex.
Knowing deep down that you deserve to be punished.
Let's do it like they do it on the Discovery Channel.
Losing your penis to frostbite after having sex with a snow man.
Lusty latino ladies.
Making finger puppets of people you hate, then jacking off while wearing them.
Making sweet love to a Dyson vacuum cleaner.
Man-scaping your pubic hair so your penis looks like Gonzo's nose from the Muppets.
Married swingers sharing some deep humping with the nasty couple down the street.
Massive Black Butts.
Mastrubating while watching a horror movie.
Midget porn obsession.
Mom caught my step-brother slamming my tight squeeze box.
Mortgaged up the ass.
Mouth diarrhea.
Mushroom Stamping your drunk friends and taking a selfie while doing it.
My big Titty sister has a semen glazed face.
My fat, ugly, cum-guzzling, slut of a wife.
Naively thinking that celeberties will stop dying in the future.
Nasty women with "junk in their trunk" twerking on the street corner.
Naughty old ladies who love choking on hard man-meat.
Neil Patrick Harris stars in the Prisoner of Ass Cabin.
Next on CNN: "Heartwarming orphans, hormone injections, and cheating in the Special Olympics."
Next on Springer: "Sniffing glue, sharing needles, and pretending to care."
Nonchantly shitting your pants while waiting in line to check out at Wal-Mart.
Oral addicted coeds.
Oversexed vixens getting exactly what theur bursting libidos desire, more cocks to pound their holes.
Passing out from the stench of your own fart box.
Petite Asian girls taking on massive hole destroying tools that split them in half.
Prairie-dogging it while stuck in a traffic backup with no exit in sight.
(Prairie-dogging: having to shit and it's poking out your ass)

Puff-nipple Hoes gargle hefty cocks and get face pasted with loads of jizz.
Pulling her vagina apart like a hot melted cheese sandwich.
Pulling out the selfie stick for reasons other than its indended use.
Punish and spank my bigg butt raw.
Pussy hungry Lesbos lapping up some lady juice for a midnight snack.
Putting my cock in the Corn-hole.
Quickly switching to porn to avoid being caught watching reality TV.
Realizing that you're the asshole.
Rod gobbling nymphos.
Rough sex is better when you're not alone.
Secretly finding 3rd grade bathroom humor amusing.
Self-advertising my penis as a hend-held device.

Shaving your penis with a straight edge razor and accidentally slicing the big vein.
She said "I Do," but now she wants a strange pecker to slurp and swallow.
Shitting and puking at the same time.
Shitting in the public swimming pool and watching the people scatter.
Shittingin your pants and faking a stroke to cover it up.
Shot gunning a bucket of bull semen to win a $20 bet.
Skinny white skanks.
Smokin' hot babes drop to their knees for a hot sausage treat.
Smoking meth from a broken light bulb you found in the trash can behind your trailer.
Snorting a mountain of Cocaine like Tony Montana, and having your sister shoot you for killing her boyfriend.
Snorting coke off a stripper's ass.
Spanish girls open their hot spicy tacos to get stuffed with some man meat.
Spiking candy with Fentanyl then giving it to kids hanging around the mall.
Spunk Guzzling Cougars.
Steamy Sorority Orgies.
Stuttering through an indecent sex proposal to your partner.
Sucking his dick until he is about to blow, then stop and start an argument.
Super phallic, non-metallic, one-eyed fucking monster, it's big and round, hangs to the gound, it's a pussy wrecker.
Taking a hardcore meat beating.
Taking
That a shit
bitch wasingoing
an artificial
to town tree
on pot
my at theand
shit, Airport
right without beingitcaught.
when I blew down her throat, I gave that slut the CRYSTAL
CRUNCH!!
That creepy noise that's made when titty-fucking a double mastectomy patient.
That one-eyed, peg-legged horny chick who loves fisting.
The bigger the cushion, the better for pushing.
The biggest blacketst butt.
The First Lady pulling a "Trump Train".
The moist, disease infested penis that I dipped into the punch bowl at the Senior dance.
The smallest, reddest dick with the largest, blueish balls.
The titty-twister that killed Grandma.
The undeniable taste of fresh warm excrement.
There's nothing better than a warm creamy load deep inside my dripping wet honey pot.
There's nothing like a hot Dickens Cider on a cold winter morning.
Throbbing Meat Poles
Tight young girls getting impaled by gigantic black pork swords.
Toe poking a dingle-berry down the shower drain.
Trying to talk with a mouth full of cum.
Undiscovered STDs you caught while touring with your favorite band.
Usiang saran wrap as a makeshift condom.

Using a Lifesavers gummy as a cock ring while having gay sex.
Using the lid of a Campbell's Soup can to castrate yourself.
Waiting for your balls to drop on New Years Eve.
Washing dildos in a dishwasher.
Watching the hottest nude scenes on Mr. Skins website.
When you realize that Grandpa is not doing the mannequin challenge.
Whipping out your "Rotten Shelayle" to spread some magic sperm.
http://www.cordsagainstharmony.com/cords-against-harmony-volume-2/
_____ + _____ = The AIDS crisis not being over.

_____ is a threat to the American way of life.
According to a new study, _____ is worse than we ever thought.
According to a recent study, more than 200 Americans die from _____ each year.
As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be _____.
At my signal, unleash _____.
Failure in Syria led to the rise of _____.
Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to _____.
Former Virginia Gov. Bob McDonnell and his wife Maureen are both on trial for _____.
Fuck Edward 40hands, I wanna play Edward _____ hands!
Hey, everybody, we're all gonna get _____!
Honey came in, and she caught me red handed _____ with the girl next door.
I am the King of _____!

I do wish we could chat longer, but I'm having _____ for dinner. Bye.
I had no idea you could milk _____.
In case you missed it, here's a YouTube video of _____.
In Fremont, California, parents are outraged that the new Health textbooks will include graphic depictions of both _____
and _____.
In the politics of education reform, _____ can always be used as the ultimate bargaining chip.
Keep _____ legal.

Lets face it baby. These days you gotta have _____.
Mama always said life was like _____.
Oh, and this one time at band camp, I stuck _____ in my pussy.
Republicans claim that when it comes to _____, Obama simply hasn't gone far enough.
Some folks call it a sling blade. I call it _____ blade.
Things white people hate: _____.
This music makes me feel like _____, but I can see that look on your face.
Welcome to the "Age of _____.”
What did Joan Rivers want at her funeral?
What killed Joan Rivers?
What's my favorite sin?
You know the difference between you and me?I make _____ look GOOD.
A butt plug that you hook up to an air pump.

A clown on a racist rant.
A cunt hair.
A dick that's just too big.
A Dirty Abraham.
A futuristic super mall in the desert.
A smelly pooper.
A stripper with a mild case of Down Syndrome.
A sweaty ass crack.
A toothless blowjob from your first cousin.
A vampire condom that just wants to suck the life out of you through your dick.
A wrong number sext from your mom.
An "Ab Stain".
An Ebola outbreak.
An unwilling human subject.
Animals with a people fetish.
Being ruled by an evil bear that smells like strawberries.
Boobie honks.
Bumps on your dick.
Burying your face in a mountain of cocaine Tony Montana style.
Chemical dependency.
Cocaine chest pains.
Cocaine nose bleeds.
Cookie Monster's alternate porn personality: Pussy Monster.
Cowboy problems.
Cream of some young guy.
Docking, the gay way.
Doing it for the lulz.
Fat bottomed girls.
Foot fetish fantasies.
Fucking popups!
Functional retards.
Getting "white man" rich.

Getting your foreskin caught in some lawn furniture.
Getting your mojo back.
Goat brains.
Jerking off in the shower.
Jerking off on her face while she's asleep.
Jerking off with a belt around your neck.
Juggling my balls.
Just a little butt-rape.
Letting the dog lick peanut butter off of your junk.
Little green men.
Lopi Kuwak.
Low hanging labia.
Making sissy in your pants.
Malaysia Airlines: The Russian Roulette of air travel.
Missing the hole and bending your dick in half on her unforgiving taint.
Mouth on ass.
My insidious mind control powers.
Neatly trimmed pubic hair.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
Open ass smell.
Penile strangulation.
Pinching your own nipples.
Puttin' 'er right in the ol' brown eye.
Rand Paul's daddy issues.
Sexy me time.
Shaving my scrote.
Shit crumbs.
Shooting up in the hallway.
Simple bitches.
Some crazy voodoo magic.
Some weird role play sex that involves being locked in a dog cage for a couple of days.
Suburban life.
Talking over the Card Czar, because you cannot comprehend anything being more important than the sound of your own
voice.
Testicular cancer.
That fucking ice bucket challenge.
That sexy Louisiana Creole accent.
The dishonored dead.
The Incredible Hulk's angry green erection.
Traces of alien DNA.
Using vodka and a towel to waterboard a recovering alcoholic, with 38 years sober, so that you can get the answers you
seek.
Werewolf sex.
White people problems.
Zombie Dolphins.
Cults Attempt Hokypoky 2 - Electric Boogaloo

https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/161692/Hokypoky-2--Electric-Boogaloo-BUNDLE
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/spncah-set-2.html
A fan-made Supernatural themed expansion.
These cards are 2.5" x 3.5".
______ can pierce through the veil of death and save the day.
______ is the root of all evil.
______! It's a parade!
______.tumblr.com
"How do you sleep?" "Naked, rolling in ______."
A demon hunt wouldn't be complete without ______.
Agents ______ and ______, FBI.
Are you sure? 'Cause Mr. Fizzles thinks you're ______.
As part of his daily regimen, Dick Roman sets aside 15 minutes for ______.
Carry on my wayward son, there'll be ______ when you are done.
Carver Edlund presents Supernatural, the story of ______.
Dad's ______ and he hasn't been home in a few days.
Dean drinks to forget ______.
Dean, I swear! Despite it's name, ______ is NOT a porno!
Dear Abaddon, I'm having trouble with ______ and would like your advice.
Demons smell like sulfur; angels smell like ______.
Driver picks the music, shotgun ______.
Fake US Marshall, Fake credit cards. Anything that's real?
Family doesn't end in ______, boy.
Get the hell off my property before I blast you so full of ______, you shit ______.
Hoard ______ like it's made of gold.
How did Dean re-lose his virginity?
I hope your ______ was friggin' worth it.
I was ______, it was Comic Con.
I was the one who gripped you tight and raised you from ______.
I write fanfiction pairing ______ with ______.
I'm not going to eat it, that's disgusting.... I'm going to wear it as ______.
If you're dead, you'd better stay that way. Because if you're not, we're gonna ______.
In return for my soul, Crowley promised me ______, but all I got was ______.
In the beginning there was ______. And the Lord said, "Let there be ______".
In the last episode, the woman was predictably killed by ______.
In the newest episode, Castiel struggles with ______ for the first time.
In this episode, the brothers successfully exorcise a demon using only the powers of ______.
Instead of Supernatural, you could be ______.
It was more uncomfortable than ______ at a ______ convention.
It's the Eye of the Tiger, it's the ______.
Kids these days with their ______ and their ______.
Long story short, I ended up with ______ in my ass.
Lucifer, you're my brother and I love you, but you are ______.
My name is Dean Winchester. I am an Aquarius. I enjoy sunsets, long walks on the beach, and ______.
My true form is approximately the size of ______.
Praise ______!
Previously on Supernatural: ______.
Sam gave Dean his classic bitchface and muttered "______" under his breath.
Sam Winchester blacked out last night and woke up married to ______.
Sam Winchester cries his way through ______.
Showing up on the Impala, naked and covered in ______.
The CW presents ______, on ice!
The last time someone looked at me like that, I got ______.
The newly fallen angels were both shocked and amazed when I showed them ______.
The Winchester's life is ruled by a vicious cycle of ______ and ______.
This isn't funny, Dean, the voice says I am almost out of ______.
This month's Busty Asian Beauties: "Spice up your sex life by bringing ______ into the bedroon."
This season, Dean must overcome his fear of ______ to save the day.
To prepare for his upcoming role, Misha Collins immersed himself in the world of ______.
Truly and without question, ______ is the manliest of all men.
Wgat don't you want to find in your pie?
What caused Dean to die in Mystery Spot?
What did Castiel bring back from Hell?
What does Dean use as lube when his travel tube runs out?
What ended Sam's last relationship?
What is a hunter's best friend?
What is Dean's guilty pleasure?
What is Dean's weapon of choice?
What is inside Lucifer's cage?
What is literally worse than Satan?
What is the third trial to close the gates of Hell?
What keeps me sane during the mid-season Supernatural hiatus?
What left this stain on the Impala?
What mildly annoyed Sam today?
What would Castiel find disturbing, yet oddly charming?
What would John Winchester do?
What's there a ton of in heaven?
When I was tripping on dream root, ______ turned into ______.
Who let the hellhounds out?
Why can't I sleep at night?
Why can't Sam and Dean communicate their emotions in a healthy way?
Why do I hurt all over?
Why is Adam still in Hell?
Why is Crowley frothing with rage?
Why is six afraid of seven?
You breed with the mouth of a ______.
The outrageous fare you owe after catching a cab ride to and from Purgatory.
The pizza man.
The pure terror on Sam's face when he's covered head-to-toe in glitter.
The real Mona Lisa, where she's topless.
The Roadhouse.
The Samulet.
The sexy kind of drilling.
The tears of Supernatural fans during the season finale.
The unfortunate innuendos that come with angel and demon possession.
The Winchester Gospel.
Those times when you get rock salt in your vagina.
Tight, red gym shorts.
Trading your soul in exchange for wifi everywhere you go.
Travelling back in time to have a one night stand with yourself.
Trying to type Gadreel, but having it autocorrect to Gladbag(r)
Turducken burgers.
Tweeting.
Unresolved sexual tension.
Using a bra as a slingshot for water baloons filled with holy water.
Using an actual angel blade as a dildo.
Using Castiel as a Christmas tree topper.
Using discarded shapeshifter skin as a fleshlight.
Using Leviathan goo as lube.
Using the Avengers as FBI aliases.
Vampireates.
Vehemently denying that Tessa was anything but a reaper.
Waking up half-naked in Purgatory.
Watching porn in a room full of dudes.
Whore of Babylon.
Wondering just how many of Dean's deaths in Mystery Spot were sexual related.
Your true form being approximately the size of the Chrysler Building.
Special Set

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Cards Against Philadelphia, Expansion Pack 1
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/cards-against-philadelphia-expansion-pack-1.html
A special (unofficial) 35-card Philly themed CAH expansion pack! Perfect for anyone who loves to hate the City of Brotherly Love!
Ben Franklin loved only one thing more than his city, and that was ______.
Due to budget constraints, the School District of Philadelphia has eliminated ______ from public schools.
How did the Liberty Bell get its crack?
Of all the things I've seen on SEPTA, ______ was definitely the strangest.
Philadelphia Magazine is raving about Stephen Starr's newest restaurant concept: ______
The only difference between going to the beach and going down the shore is ______.
The Philly Phanatic was recently arrested for ______.
A concrete definition of the word "jawn".

A downtroden man selling water bottles and flowers on the Boulevard.
A real goddamn pretzel.
A sex dream about Glenn "Hurricane" Schwartz.
A stadium with its own built-in jail.
An open parking spot in South Philly.
Antiquated liquor laws.
Bitching about Comcast
Biting into a PYT burger and immediately having a stroke.
Blacking out at the Mummers' Parade.
Chugging Arctic Spash until you puke.
Disowning your friend for ordering peppers on his cheesesteak.
Drunkenly yelling the Eagles fight song.
Finding a token in your pocket then getting disappointed 'cause it was just a nickle.
Getting a boner at the Mutter Museum.
Kensington & Somerset
Kids from the Main Line who tell people they're from Philly.
Paying $450 a month to insure a '98 Civic.
Pushing tourists down the Rocky steps.
SEPTA.
Telling out-of-towners to meet you at 14th and Broad.
The intersection of 69th & Dicks.
The M.O.V.E. bombing.
The Mayfair swiss cheese mastrubator.
Unsuspecting German immigrants moving to Germantown.
Watermelon, watermelon, Jersey tomatoes!
Straaaaaaaawberries!
Che-e-e-erries!
Wawa.
Wing Bowl.
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Pervertity
https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/151180/Cards-Against-Pervertity
Cards Against Pervertity is an unofficial expansion to the offensive game of a similar name. It's filled with weird fetishes
predilictions, like well… I can't say in case kids are reading this. Oh. Right. It's not for kids.
Alabama is best known for its extremely lax laws about ______.
Blood. Check. Semen. Check. ______. Check.
Cars are to garages, what lady boners are to ______.
Damn. I haven’t done ______ since I was in the Army. But sure, I’ll try it again. Only if you do ______.
He pulled it out? He pulled what out? His ______?
I always have my _______ shipped in a brown paper bag. It’s safer that way. The last time, the mailman enjoyed my _______ b
I can’t decide if I should buy the 14-inch double dong dildo or the ______.
I didn’t want to tell the doctor that _______ was stuck in my ass. So I told him it was a ______.
I just learned this new sex move. It’s called the ‘Snakes of Asia.’ It’s when you take ______ and invert it inside ______.
I took the wrong kind of boner medicine and now I can only get off when I look at ______.
In my day we had to use a wooden dildo if we wanted to get off to ______.

Mom and dad loved telling us stories about ______, regardless of how uncomfortable it made us.
My mother came to my room to get ______, but found ________ instead.

Oh baby. That’s it. Right there. You know I love your ______!
People used to use ______ to get laid. Now they use ______.
Size matters when you’re dealing with _______ and ______.
Sure, she’s a virgin now. But just buy her a ______ and she’ll perk right up.
They haven’t made a _______ yet that will satisfy me.
We could argue the merits of _______ all day. But that won’t bring my erection back.
What is my favorite type of public humiliation?
(Sweaty) Ass-somthering.
A 'Map of Hawaii,' copied onto the sheets.
A 10-pack of boner medicine.
A rubber mask without airholes in it.
A soggy martini.
A well-dressed love doll.
Adult babies wearing diapers made for adults.
Alphabetically arranged folders of retro and vintage pornography.
Buying Magnum™ condoms so the checkout girl thinks you're hung.
Daddy-Daughter purity ceremonies.
Dogging.
efukt.com
Enjoying a gangbang while your spouse is tied up under the bed.
Eskimo brothers.
Gay hazing.
Genital warts so bad the CDC has to get involved.
Getting caught sniffing panties.

Getting off on amputee porn while using a mannequin hand.
GILFS.
Giving your gal the ol' Strawberry Shortcake.
Gratutious bisexual interracial hotwife cuckoldry.
Guys who like to get slapped around by women they hardly know.
Jerking off into the Taco Bell™ meat substitute by-product.
Leaving a tribute on your sister's pictures.
Mamas' boys.
Mastrubating with an industrial sander until your genitals are raw.
Men who negotiate rates with prostitutes.
MMFMFTBQMLGF
Multi-orgasmic twins.
Pastors with Grinder™ accounts.
People who don't realize how dirty 'ass to mouth' really is.
People who mastrubate with a ping-pong paddle.
People who think the incestuous love affair on Bates Motel is sweet.
Pity sex.
Porn so bad you wish you were at a lemon party.
Priapism.
Public humiliation.
Public sex in a coin-op laundromat.
Racist porn.
Raw meat.
Rodeo sex.
Saran wrap on your dick.
Sharking.
Spitting on a dick. Really?
Step-Dad/Babysitter porn.
Stomping on rodents in stilletto heels. It's a thing. Look it up.
Straight-up, hardcore, no lube, deep-ass pegging.
That strange look three men give each other after enjoying a Double-Dutch rudder.
The CB-3000.
Throat fucking.
Truffle butter.
Trying to finish before the free 15 seconds of porn is over.
Two butt plugs.
Watching girls pee.
Watching your mom get dressed. And then combing her hair. And then telling her how pretty she is.

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(Slap the person with the most black cards)

2 minutes of sex. 18 minutes of tearful apology.
A 64th trimester abortion.
A casual felationship.
A cyborg Kodiak bear with a flamethrower and jetpack. It can also breathe underwater and cany only be defeated by lov
A dildo that spins at 30,000 RPMs.

A fish pussy that smells people-y.
A fucking awesome epidural.
A good schtaupping.
A happy college mascot who's crying on the inside.
A hip priest giving the sermon with auto-tune.
A hooker with an Adam's Apple the size of her balls.
A man pretending to be a woman's "gay friend" in order to gat at that sweet vadge.
A mazel tov cocktail.
A nail gun, Juggalos and natural selection.

A penis so small it's almost an Innie.
A sex doll that just wants to be friends.
A sign language interpreter at a Trump rally just wildly swinging around both middle fingers in all directions as Trump s
A sober Irishman who doesn't care for potatoes.
A sweater knit out of human hair.
A T-Rex trying to masturbate.
A terrorist attack on April Fool's Day
A Trayvon Martini with a side of Skittles.
Abe Lincoln with a gatling-Gun arm.
Activists tweeting their rage against corporations from their iPhones.
Andy's mom's sextoys also coming to life.
Ariel's newfound vagina.
Artisanal, Vegan, Gluten-Free Napalm
Asking Siri for directions to pound town.
Assless Burkas
Bacon that can feel pain.
Balls to the Wall brand gloryholes.
Beastiality Anonymous.
Beating little kids at Pokemon until they cry.
Being fed to a pack of hungry dogs by Kim Jong-un.
Being gay for pay.
Being mixed and choosing how white or black you are depending on the situation.
Being sexually aroused by the sight of TSA's gloves.
Being so naughty Santa shits in your stocking.
Being the designated drunk.
Being uncomfortable realizing you're outnumbered by members of another race.
Bill Cosby grabbing your hand and forcing you to Huxtabate.
Bill Cosby's "Special" Jell-O shots.
Bing so far in the closet, you can see Narnia.
Black People.
Blowing into a penis to inflate the ball sack.
Bob Barker hunting down all of the stray animals in Los Angeles to spay or neuter them.
Braille porn: ribbed for your pleasure.
Breaking into a blind person's house to rearrange their furniture.
Bringing a massive electromagnet to a body piercing convention.
Buyer's remorse, with a hooker.
Canned tuna with extra dolphin.
Coming at you like a spider monkey.
Complimenting men's dicks at the urinal.

Consent
Constantly waking up with some's big toe in your butt.
Cthulhu introducing you to fifth base.
Cyborg Putin
Depravity, even by Thai standards.
Divorce by shotgun.
Drawschwits: Hitler's Academy of the Arts.
Drinking grape soda to get rid of the semen taste and immediately regretting the combination.
Dropkicking puppies.
Enthusiastically pulling the plug on Grandma.
Epically timing your cumshot to the drum bit in Phil Collins' "In the Air Tonight".
Ethnically cleansing the Carebears.
Euthanizing the unwanted pet population for fun and profit.
Ezekiel 23:30 "There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like
Finding out you have diarhea by coughing.
Gettin' down there and bein' all like "This shit is nasty, yo. Fuck this, yo."
Getting a Trump Stamp.
Getting bitten by a radioactive spider and then battling leukenia for 30 years.
Getting drunk on power ... and mouthwash.
Getting fired from a blow job.
Getting hammered in the ass so much that you die from getting hammered in the ass so much.
Getting out of jury duty by saying I'm a racist.
Getting raped by owls?
Getting your dick out of the bear trap.
Giving a dolphin a handjob for science.
Giving Anne frank a drum kit for her birthday.
Giving maracas to people with Parkinson's disease.
God.
Having an actual pencil for a dick.
Having sex on the display beds at Sears.
Having to break up with your sock after getting a steady girlfriend.
Hijacking Meals on Wheels.
Hitting speed bumps at full speed while getting road head.
Horny Supreme Court Justices
Housewives who call what they do work.
I just wanted to stop and say something. I really hate black people. That is all.
Indians (dots not feathers)
Indians (feathers not dots)
ISIS flying a plane into Trump Tower.
Jesus letting a kid die because the photo only got 998 likes.
Jesus.
JK Rowling, crying at the things she's discovered on Tumblr.
Just a ton of butts, dude. Like, a ton.
Just the tip.
Just the tip.
Kurt Cobain's gently used shotgun.
Lemon Party
Literally, not figuratively, drowning in pussy.
Locking my car door when poor people are around.
Locking the keys in your car outside an abortion clinic, and going into the clinic to borrow a coat hanger.
Low calorie communion wafers called "I can't believe it's not Jesus".
M-m-m-mocking st-st-st-stutterers.
Making sure all the personalities consent.
Malaysia Airlines: The Russian Roulette of air travel.
Mangina.
Mastrubation Guilt.
Michael J. Fox shaving your crotch.
Michael J. Fox's Hand-Spun Milkshakes.
Microwaving a live lobster until it explodes.
Midgets going up on you.
Molestation: the touchiest subject.
My genitals.
Nailing a Jewish carpenter to a cross to celebrate Christmas.
Never being able to look your dog in the eyes again.
Not fearing death because you're married.
Not letting an extra chromosone get you down.
Nuns with guns.
Paula Deen, covered in butter, shouting the N-word.
People who get cancer and never shut up about it.
People who get paid less because they are worth less.
People who should be "sent back to where they came from".
Plagarizing a suicide note.
Plus-sized Pam, the fat barbie.
Preparing thine anus.
RACE CARD (pretty much a win)
Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape Rape
Raping and pillaging.
Realizing she is 15, but deciding to finish.
Rich white kids going to prison.
Rolling a D20 to save a failing marriage.
Rubbing lotion on her ass.
Scouting for porn talent at a high school graduation.
Selectively breeding humans.
Shaving my eyebrows off and drawing them back in with a Sharpie(tm) pen.
Shredding the ransome note for your least favorite child.
Sniping the last bald eagle.
Taking someone's mom out for a nice seafood dinner and then never calling her back.
Tasting the rainbow at a gay circle-jerk.
teabagging the gravy in the buffet line.
Teaching a girl how to handjob a penis.
That feeling when you encounter a handicapped person waiting for you to leave the largest stall in a public restroom.
The (technically) Virgin Mary.
The 9 of 10 people who enjoy gang rape.
The art of mastrubation.
The boner hatch in the Iron Man suit.
The Ching-Chong Ding-Dong Foundation for Sensitivity to Orientals or Whatever.
The Cockpocalypse.
The confusion that an Autism vaccine would cause.
The guy at the party playing Wonderwall on an acoustic guitar.
The Immortal Billy Joel.
The NFL(tm) mafia.
The Pillbury Doughbouy blowing his load all over a toaster strudel.
The porn parody of the World Trade Center attack: 69/11
The post-Grand Theft Auto desire to kill pedestrians.
The soft caress of a seasoned Catholic priest.
The way black folks be.
The WNBA.
Trusting a fart and then instantly filling your pants with regret, and shit.
Trying in vain to go back after having gone black.
Using a fitbit to mastrubate for 2 miles.
Using I Can't Beliece It's Not Butter! as a replacement for lube.
Using tears as lubricant.
Using vegetables inappropriately and then still serving them for dinner.
Using vodka and a towel to waterboard a recovering alcoholic with 38 years sober, so that you can get the answers you s
Watching your child slowly die because you were too upper-middle class to vaccinate them.
When a chopstickl and a urethra make sweet, sweet love.
When one of the Siamese Twins is gay.
White people problems.
World Peace - and bigger tits.
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A back door meat drilling.
A cat in a dark room chasing a laser pointer tied to a ceiling fan.
A color blind racist.
A legless paraplegic winning an ass kicking contest.
A mouth stuffing threesome with two young white girls and a well hung black dude.
A nun dressing as an altar boy to get pregnant.
A picture of you picking your nose on a theme park roller coaster camera.
A recovering alcoholic; Recovering from last night.
A slippery wet, hammering orgy.
A very unnerving foot fetish.
Accidentally sneezing out your tampon while bending over.
Acting out when talking about thins you don't quite understand.
Actually tea-bagging a cup of tea.
Afraid to turn on the lights because the darkness won't go away.
After 10 minutes of watching porn, I want to fuck someone. After 20 minutes, I never want to have sex again.
Already visualizing the duct tape across your mouth.
Always thinking you've figured out what's holding you back and how you can finally become a productive part of society.
Amputee sex.
An extreme liking for swallowing cum from strange dicks.
Aparrently RSVPing back to a wedding invite, "Maybe next time," isn't the correct response.
Applying for an acting job, but only having a face for radio.
Asking friends and family to critique your dick pics.
Bagging a hog at the laundromat.
Beating your dick like it owes you money.
Behind her innocent face is a sexual deviant.
Being an obsessive workaholic... Delivering your baby in an office cubicle.
Being her father and knowing her Victoria's Secret.
Being so fake that Barbie is jealous.
Being so fat, that when your husband rolls over after sex, he's still on top of you.
Biggest, nastiest black booty girls.
Bing double teamed by Patty and Selma Bouvier.
Bitch is so nasty, she puts saltwater down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.
Blowing bubbles with a mouth full of salty dick snot.
Bootylicious Mocha cuties with juicy, jiggling butts.
Bragging about winning Porn Awards is like showing mommy what you did in the toilet.
Bump and grind your rump on a huge throbbing dick until you get blasted with a hot load of man joice.
Busting a nut on her face and calling it a baby shower.
Calling 411 to get the number for 911.
Caught with your pants down in the Health and Beauty aisle at Wal-Mart.
Chicks with dicks.
Choosing between two evils, always take the one you haven't tried.
Clothing off, penis in the bung hole.
Cruising the loop on a Friday night with the hopes of finding someone to screw.
Dead bodies everywhere.
Deep throating a huge girthy dong.
Delicious, but deadly.
Dicks so big and long, they have their own zip code.
Dirty girls are made, they are not born that way.
Don't take life too seriously, you will not get out alive.
Draining your tits dry with a breast pump.
Drinking beer all afternoon at a pool bar and never once leaving to use the bathroom.
Duct tape can't fix stupid, but it can muffle the sounds.
Ending up on a blind date with a too much tongue guy.
Enjoying hardcore lesbian sex.
Enjoying the sound of Liberals crying in the morning.
Even if you were twice as smart, you'd still be an asshole.
Even the world's best actors can't hide an erection.
Explaining germs to a two year old, and now they think little crawling bugs are everywhere.
Failing to access my online bank account because I cannot remember my mother's maiden name.
Fake washing your hands after using the bathroom.
Famunda cheese
(the cheese from under my balls)

Filming amateur porn in the back of a moving van is a dangerous game of Pin the Felony on the Pervert.
Finding a foul mouthed Elmo in a second grade classroom.
Fingering your sister and finding your Dads wedding ring.
Flat chested women are bigger nymphos than busty bitches.
Fuck my life.
Fucking a sheep by a cliff so they keep backing up.
Gigantic bouncing boobs.
Going back in time to kill myself.
Grandma is so old she has more wrinkles than an elephant's scrotum.
Handjob hoe bags pump and pull on man meat until they shoot dirty goo.
Having a threesome to celebrate the renewing of your wedding vows.
Having more chins that a Chinese phone book.
Hell is wall-papered with all my deleted selfies.
Her face looks like she chased too many parked cars.
Hiding your porn stash among the kid's Disney Movie collection.
Hilary Clinton's mouth is dirtier than a rubber toilet seat.
Hitchhiking for the potential of being murdered.
Horny massage therapists.
Huge DD boobs!
I am not a member of any organized party.
I am a Democrat.
I don't always say something stupid, but when I do, I keep talking to make it worse.
I don't believe in plastic surgery, but in your case I'll make an exception.
I hate when I'm singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.
I must have a nice butt, because when I walk away from a conversation, they always say "What an ass!"
I noticed the "FUCK-UP" fairy has visited us again.
I still mastrubate over my ex-girlfriend. She never asked for her key back and she's a heavy sleeper.
I was born into very sorry circumstances.
I was told that I was street smart ... Sesame Street Smart.
I wasn't born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I really feel.
I'm in support of bacteria, they're the only culture some people have.
I'm jealous of all the people that haven't met you.
I'm not saying she's a slut, but her ass has been slapped by more balls than an NBA backboard.
I'm so ugly, when I looked into the mirror, my reflection walked away.
I've had a thing for my Mother in Law before I married my wife. Never thought I'd actually get to fuck her too.
If men knew how women pass the time when they are alone, they'd never marry.
Instant gratification takes too long.
It's girls like you that cause global warming.
It's not sex anymore when he's changed his mind.
It's scary to think that people like you are graduating from college.
Jesus loves you, but everyone else just thinks you're an asshole.
Joining a Sorority and ending up the fraternity's number one "Fuck Toy."
Killing my fake plants because I did not pretend to water them.
Laying down trying to sleep and all you hear is your pet licking themselves.
Learn from your parent's only mistake. Use birth control.
Letting him tap that ass and only getting dinner from the dollar menu.
Letting some people live should be Medical Malpractice.
Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people.
LOLTARD Someone who uses "LOL" too much.
Looking like the Grinch with plastic surgery gone wrong.
Mastrubating to your neighbors loud kinky sex.
Men name their penises because they don't like the idea of a stranger making 90% of their decisions.
Missionary Impossible.
(when two fat people attempt to have sex)

Molesting a Catholic Priest before he can molest you.
Ms PACMAN was the greatest prostitute in history. For 25 cents she swallowed balls until she died.
My birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom company.
My boyfriend is the reason the gene pools need a life guard.
My gene pool could use some Chlorine.
My middle finger gets a boner every time I see you.
My mother was such a bitch. Know what she did? After nine months she evicts me and says "Happy birthday."
My one regret in life is that I am not someone else.
Orally gifted women.
Parenting is a lot like the bar scene. Everyone's yelling, everything's sticky, and occasionally someone pukes somewhere
People follow me everywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.
Performing a "Rusty trombone" on a homeless man at gun point.
Playing strip poker with your perverted step mother.
Promoting the rights of women and gays by bringing in immigrants that are opposed to women's rights and gay rights.
Purchasing a used "Flesh-Light" off Craig's List.
Putting Icy Hot in your brother's jock strap before the big game.
Putting laxatives in the pot brownies for shits and giggles.
Putting your dead lover's ashes in a dildo urn.
Really digging deep for a choice piece of nose candy.
Replacing Grandpa's Fixodent with some Liquid Nails.
Researching your family tree, only to find out that you're the sap.
Roses are Red, Violets are Blue.
I'm schizophrenic and so am I.
Saving your scabs after peeling them off.
Scaring your welfare friends by hiding their food stamps under their work boots.
Self prostate exam gone wrong.
Shove your rock hard morning wood deep down her throat.
Slap-happy hoe bags.
Sliding your dick into her sloppy wet twat until she sits on your balls.
Smelly vaginas.
Someone so ugly they're a walking advertisement for birth control.
Sorority girls using tongues and toys to drive each other to intense orgasms.
Spending a year dead for tax reasons.
Spreading your legs for a booty-quaking, shaft slamming good time.
Staring at frozend juice in cans because they say concentrate.
Stroking and sucking cock until you've drained every last drop.
Sucking on an adult pacifier shaped like a BIG DICK.
Supporting women's rights by parading around with an oversized vagina on your head.
Taking a ride in the "Whambulance" because you are butt hurt over the election results.
Talking to yourself, because you know at least someone is listening.
The best baby sitters take care of the whole family.
The best thing about women is how they tell you what you really mean when you say something.
the dirty doctor is in, and he's in deep.
The face you make when you step on something slimy in the dark.
The heaving sound a cat makes just before throwing up a hairball.
The post orgasm feeling of dread after having unprotected sex with a stranger.
The tiniest of tiny Asian dicks.
The warm silk feeling of an unwilling sheep.
There's nothing better than early morning bed head.
Titties N Beer.
Trying to imagine you with a personality.
Unplugging Mom's life support to charge your cell phone while visiting her in the hospital.
Useless as an asshole with tastebuds.
Using hardcore Porn videos to teach your kids about sex.
Violating your girls fuck tube.
Walking around in women's underwear.
Wanting to lick her pussy, but there's too much hair.
Watching my mom and dad screwing in the porno I was conceived in.
Wendy's used to be "Hot N Juicy," now it's just "Wet N Sloppy."
When God put teeth in your mouth he ruined a perfectly good asshole.
Women of Porn call themselves sluts and whores. Well their faces are covered with semen from the dozen of dicks they'
mouths.
You don't need a vacuum pump, all you need is your mouth.
You grow on people, just like cancer.
You have a great face for makeup.
You might have a million dollar body, but you have a dollar menu face.
You'll never be the man your mother is.
You're living proof that evolution can go in reverse.
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A new book by author and historian Edward Baptist cites ________ as a major contribution to the wealth of The United Sta
After receiving the news about his hospitalization, the Obamas sent ________ to George H.W. Bush.
After this most recent incident involving ________, the NFL has instituted a new conduct policy for all players.
An officer from the Ferguson Police Department was placed on unpaid leave after reportedly ________.
At the top of the list for most downloaded iPhone apps is one for ________.
Attorney General Erick Holder is expected to announce his resignation today after a scandal involving both ________, and _
Caught on Camera: Sarah Palin experiments with ________.
Damn it feels goo to be ________.
Due to a legally binding Non-Disclosure Agreement, I can no longer comment on, or have any participation with, ________.
During a discussion about education policy, Senator Davis accused Senator Abbott of _______.
Former President George W. Bush likes to relax by the poolside with ________ in his hand.
I almost got arrested for trying to bribe a police officer because I offered him ________, and he was tempted to accept it.
I feel kind of dirty about it, but last night while I was masturbating, I accidentally ejaculated on ________.
I have all of the official expansions for this game, so I ended up buying this half-assed set from ________ just to liven things
I'm embarrassed to admit it, but I know more about J.R.R. Tolkien's Middle Earth than I do about ________.
I'm going down I history as the first doctor to successfully transplant ________ to ________.
It feels good to finally make peace with my sister. I never thought she'd forgive me for ________.
Last night while I was masturbating, I started to think about ________, right as I was about to hit my climax.
Loud, anarchic, quirky: “My love affair with ________.”

My new podcast will be aptly named: “This Week in ________.”
My weirdest sexual fantasy involves a combination of ________ and ________.
New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, and New York Governor Andrew Cuomo, joined hands to veto legislation that would
________.
New York Rep. Michael Grimm pleads guilty to ________.
On their own neither does anything for me; but when I think about ________, and ________ together...WOW, my pussy gets re
Pope Francis wants to bring ________ to Christians and other ethnic and religious groups around the world.
The voes are in, and the new Lays Potato Chip flavor is ________.
There is no forgiveness for ________.
When Obama goes on vacation, he relaxes by ________.
80 year old lesbians.
A banana that has the look and feel of a real banana, but the taste of a dill pickle.
A dick only your mother could love.
A hippy-dippy fun fest.
A jar of creamy shit pickles.
A little oochie wally wally, oochie bang bang.
A little turd with feet.
A man with no legs falling into the toilet.
A nice cold cup of liquid shit.
A pubis that is both full and aesthetically appealing.
A scorched asshole.
A shot of tequila with a cocaine chaser.
An abnormally large clitoris.
An ass you just wanna lick.
An Epicanthic Fold.
An unsolicited kiss on the lips from your arresting officer.
Arma-goddamn-motherfucking-geddon!
Ball tasers.
Bathing in the blood of your enemies.
Being a motherfuckin' heathen.
Being born with an ugly twat.
Being gouged in the ass.
Bollywood.
Boners, boners, boners, boners, boners everywhere!
Bonobo boners.
Breaking your sobriety.
Burnin' this bitch down RIGHT NOW!
Burning down Wal-Mart.
Canceling the wedding again.
Chicken 'n Grits, and midget tits.
Constantly waking up with someone's big toe in your butt.
Cords Against Harmony.
Crazy Herbert's daughter, Evelyn.
Dead babies everywhere.
Dolla dolla bills y'all!
Faking it.
Farting all over my tits.
Farting into a box and giving it to that douche bag that lives downstairs.
Federal Pound Me In the Ass Prison.
Flinging poo.
Fucking her until somebody better comes along.
Gaping assholes, and tight twats.
Getting a boner at the mere thought of being called my little sissy boy.
Getting an erection at the mere mention of death.
Getting inceptioned by zombies.
Getting kicked right in the twat.
Grunting while standing at the urinal.
Hobbit porn.
Homosexual cowboy sex.
Joe's Crab Shack.
Literally being half-assed; you know, with one butt cheek and all.
Literally blowing smoke up someone's butt.
Little chicks that like big dicks.
Male urethral stretching.
Masturbating your vagina and anus at the same time.
Mechanical monster things.
Mixing a little Alka-Seltzer in with the cocaine.
Muddin'.
Murphy's Law.
My deadbeat son.
My glorious rainbow penis.
My itchy butthole.
My shitty life.
My social inadequacies.
Nine men from all over the world with their dicks out.
Not listenin' good and shit.
Offering homeless people money to fight to the death.
Org-ah-listic family reunions.
Pissing on the toilet seat.
Pooping right in her mouth.

Prison sex.
Putting your dick in things.
Reddit haters who down vote everything.
Scabies!
Scurvy lepers.
Settling for petty animal sacrifice, when ritualistic human sacrifice is what you really desire.
Sex with two total strangers.
Slapping my own ass.

Smearing his shit all over my fat natural boobs.
Some really bad shit.
Sticking precisely three fingers in your own asshole.
Sticking your head up a sick goat's ass.
Sucking a fart out of her ass and holding it like a bong hit.
That awkward conversation when you have to explain that you technically have Herpes, but it's only contagious when yo
outbreak... honest... technically.
That motherfucker right there!
The awkward silence that followed the last card I played.
The lips between her hips.
The loving look in her eyes as your bare hands squeeze the last twinkle of life from her body.
The mingling of people in unusual ways.
The North Korean military strategy known as the “Charm Offensive”.
Those dead fucking eyes.
Toilet seat up; bare ass on rim. In a public restroom.
Tossed salad and fish tacos.
Two morbidly obese people fucking.
Waking up with a foot in your mouth, and a cat on your head.
Whore-house dollar menus.
Whoring yourself out for alcohol and blow.
You pieces of shit!
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Rocky Horror Picture Show Cards Against Humanity
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A Rocky Horror Picture Show unofficial expansion for CAH.
”_____ can bed down and kiss their own _____“

”I was _____ when it all began, a regular _____-y fan“
A long, long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away; God said ”Let there be _____.”
Buddy Holly was singing ______.
Did they do ______ to you?
Don’t get _____ by the way I look.
From the day he was born. He was ______.
Give yourself over to absolute ______.
Hot Patootie! Bless my soul! _____, _____, and _____!
I don't like men with too many _______(s).
I got really hot when I saw Jeannette Scoot fight a _____ that spits poison and kills.
I remember doing the ______.
I see you shiver with _____!
I’m just a _______ from transsexual Transylvania.
It“s just a jump to the ______ then a step to the _____!
Put your _____ on your ______ and bring your knees in tight!
She chews and chews but never swallows, I love the way she munches on my _____.
So, come up to the lab and _____what’s on the slab.
We’ve replaced Columbia”s dildo with a _____. Let’s see if she notices
What carries the Charles Atlas Seal of Approval?
What further indignities were they to suffer?
What is burning in the fireplace?
What's for dinner?
Where are your tits?
Where do you masterbate?
Where’s the best place to fuck?
You came here with a ______!
3 more Doritos!
A domestic
A man with no fucking neck and a pussy on his chin
Alcohol abuse
Asshole
Bisexual watersports
Brad
Brad and Janet
Columbia
Cosmo
Cosmo's Factory
Criminologist
Dr. Scott
Eddie
Eddie's Teddy
Elbow Sex
ET on Riff‘s shoulder
Ex-Delivery Boy
Frank-N-Furter
Frank’s Cock
Frankenstein’s place
Freeze those lips!
Frisbee Beef by Blammo!
Help Me Mommy
Homosexual boxing match
Hoopla!
Hot Patootie
In the Naval Academy
It's the Black N Decker Pecker Wrecker! It slices, dices, circumcises and makes you julienned fries look real pretty.
Janet
Janet's Twat
Lady Gaga's Clit
Lips
Little Nell
Little Nell's nipples
Magenta
Meatloaf
Penis Lewiston
Perry Bedden
Peter Hinwood
Richard O'Brien
Riff Raff
Rocky
Rocky's butt floss
Scooby Doo on acid
Sexual thrills like some teeth
Shock Treatment
Simply His Servants
Slut
Sonic Transducer
Susan Sarandon
Sweet Transvestite
Table wine
The Charles Atlas seal of approval
The condom in Janet’s hair
The Denton Affair
The diabolical chicken who stepped on my forehead and shit on my tie
The man in the casket
The Master’s Affairs
Tim Curry
Time Warp
Tits
Transylvanians
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Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Reality
"______, you are the Father."

"Bitch! You ain't getting ______. I'll fucking cut you."
"I think I should stay this week because Tanisha is a whore and ______."
Actually, the biggest loser is ______.
Dancing with the Stars(tm) would be a whole lot better if they had to dance while ______.
For some reason, the folks at Pawn Star (tm) paid $1000 for ______. I would gladly have traded it for ______.
I am not here to make friends. However, I am here for ______.
I was so bummed when I missed ______ last week on Celebrity House(tm).
Last week, I opened a storage locker in Reno, NV and inside I found a priceless vase and ______.
On this episode of Hoarders(tm), we uncover a house filled with dead cats, garden gnomes, and ______.
On this season of the Amazing Race(tm), 22 spoiled Americans will travel quickly around the world, talking rudely
to the locals, and doing everything they can to deal with ______ without learning a damn thing.
The best example of reality show narcissism is ______.
The moment you realize that a sex scandal between Miley Cyrus and ______ would finally make your sad little life a
little more interesting.
The worst thing about being filmed 24/7 for 10 weeks is ______.
Things were going well for one of the contestants, until ______
This week on Survivor(tm), Bobby eats ______, while Jill walks across hot coals carrying ______.
What really goes on behind the scenes of Price is Right(tm)?
While in the confession booth, I accidently blurted out about my secret crush for ______.
Who do you want to give your rose to?
Who will gordon Ramsey yell at this week?
50 years of newspapers covered in 50 years of urine.
A healthy dose of shut the fuck up.
A reunion show where you face ther person who you voted off.
a storage unit filled with nothing but headless Barbies(tm) and unused gym equipment.
Advertise here. Find out how.
Being down to the final four.
Bravo(tm) Channel's intense and never-failing gaydar.
Bronze-skinned Guidos and their eight-pack abs.
Catty drag queens.
Confession booths.
Donald Trump's sentient hair.
Eating a bucket of cockroaches while dressed as a seagull, for fame and fortune.
Entertainment Tonight(tm).
Ever-present product placement.
Finding the love of your life in a few weeks, while millions watch and vote for who should go home, because
nothing says love like strangers' tweets.
getting the rose and regretting it four months later.
Getting yelled at like you're a war criminal for not being able to bake a fucking pie in 30 minutes with cameras all
over you, you fucking piece of shit.
Giant, cosmetic asses that get more attention than scientists.
Ignorant hillbillies making $10,000 an episode.
Immunity.
Internet headlines and the people who love them.
Ironically naming a show "Big Brother" about a bunch of people George Orwell would never want to watch.
It's not personal. Except you, Eliva. Everyone hates you.
Judge Judy's smooth gavel.
Maury's lie detector.
Not getting the rose.
People who 'go big or go home'.
People who think wrestling is fake.
People who think wrestling is real.
Rachel Dolezal's 15 minutes of fame for actually being white.
Reality shows that celebrate people for breeding too much.
Remembering a time when TLC(tm) meant The Leaning Channel(tm).
Saint and North West.
Scientists working on a cure for whatever Honey Boo Boo is.
Scientists working on a taxonomic expression for whatever Ke$ha(tm) is.
Sponsored content.
Stretch marks a mile long.
Taste testing spoons.
The $250,000 prize that you only get a year later after you've gone through our PR machine and met all these
other criteria on the back end that no one could ever accomplish.
The anchorning and sobering reality of Paris Hilton
The annoying tart who lasts until week seven.
The Biggest Loser(tm).
The commercial break right before the big reveal.
The finish line.
The flat, dead cat in my attic.
The gratuitous hot tub episode.
The gratuitous limo party episode.
The guy who eats a live rat to avoid elimination.
irrationalaftershock
The numbing need to bleep out words
of going from aoncalm
a show that nohome
Canadian civilized personshow
makeover should be watching
to the loudness anyway.
of "real"
housewives.
The person holding the Guy Fieri patent.
The real housewives of Omaha, Nebraska.
The Voice(tm).
TMZ(tm).
Watching Simon Cowell run out of creative ways to say "you suck."

http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/cos-white-3.html
8=======D
A coyote date where you're willing to chew your own arm off to get away.
A Feces Peanut Butter Cup.
A gay NBA refree yelling at players for holding onto the balls.
A penis that gets smaller as it gets harder.
A person in a wheelchair trying to Stand Up to Cancer.
A rap battle between two deaf guys.

A retarded retard.
A soldier having a PTSD breakdown walking through the nerf section of Toys"R"Us.
A special Olympian caught doing steroids.
Alzheimer's sufferers who demand the cure for pancakes.
An imaginary friend with benefits.
An orgasm so intense it causes brain hemorrhage.
Analingus.
Arriving at the gangbang 15 minutes late, yet somehow still coming too early.
Asking a blind man if he saw the new Star Wars movie.
Asking an Auschwitz survivor for her digits.
Beating a small child with a small child.
Blowing the cat.
Booking a flight just for the anal cavity search.
Celebrating genocide by eating turkey with friends and family.
Demolishing that ass like a Palestinian village.
Doing the hokypoky with amputees.
Donald trump drowning in the freshly-poured concrete foundation of a border wall.
Drawing the Prophet Muhammad and not getting shot.
Drop kicking a crying baby on a long distance flight.
Feeding pigs bacon.
Filipinos, or as I like to call them, Sea-Mexicans.
Finding out you're not gay mid blowjob.
Finding your son dead with a belt around his neck and his dick in his hand.
Gaining weight while on the Biggest Loser.
Getting your dick stuck in your friends pants zipper.
Giving head to the headless horseman.
Giving out free handjobs at the homeless shelter.
Gnawing on a penis like it's a chew toy.
Going back in time to save Hitler.
Graduating from Sandy Hook early.
Grammar Nazis invading France and correcting everything in their path.
Half of an eigth grader finishing first place in the Boston Marathon.
Having a PhD in 'experimenting' with homosexuality
Having penises as nipples.
Having your date say grace while you think, I'm picking up the tab, why are thanking God?
Inserting a banana slug into your anus.
Jizzing into Santa's milk.
Joining ISIS through Events and AdventuresTM.
Keeping the pimp hand strong.
Lighting off bottle rockets in memory of the Challanger.
Michael J. Fox playing freeze tag.
Michael J. Fox: The Ride
Mocking autistic children because they don't have feelings.
Murdering homeless people to "thin the herd"
Native Americans, the niggers of the trees.
Not sugarcoating the truth because you would just eat that, too.
Oh my God. He shit everywhere. There's shit everwhere. Dammit! There's shit on the windows! Oh, my God! My
house is full of shit! He shit everwhere! Look what he did! He shit all over the walls! There's shit everywhere!
Painting a house with only a potato gun and a bucket full of gerbils.
Planning another 9/11 so your church's attendance will go up for a few weeks.
Playing a Vietnam War tap in a retirement home to give the veterans heart attacks.
Premature ejacul
Psych! It's a gas chamber.
Putting your dick through the Mona Lisa
Resurrecting an army of six million Jewish Ghosts and conquering Germany.
Rubbing feces on tombstones.
Running over a herd of prostitutes.
Santa Claus teabagging a sleeping child, taking a picture, and leaving it in the child's stocking.
Saran wrapping your dick for protection.
Selling deceased animals to blind and deaf children.
Sex with vegetables. Either kind.
Siamese twins joined at the genitals.
Standing your ground at the Million Man March
Steve Irwin dying the way he lived his life - with animals in his heart.
Tadolph Switler: The love child of Adolph Hitler and Taylor Swift.
The Axis getting it Reich next time.
The fish that are Osama Bin Laden.
The Kelly Blue Book value of Paul Walker's Porsche.
The leader of ISIS, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, fucking his wife, who is also a goat.
The little mermaind suffering from crabs.
The Pope forgiving molested children.
The resurrected Jesus Christ, using the holes in his hands to mastrubate.
The running of the Jew
The satisfying sound a brick makes when it connects with a human skull.
Throwing fists full of marbles in front of blind people.
Tourette's PISS! FUCK! syndrome.
Trigger, the new school mascot for Sandyhook Elementary.
Using an infant to do your Shake Weight exercises.
What Hitler would have wanted.
When your new dog digs up your old dog.
Your girlfriend leaving you for Jesus cuz at least he promises a second coming.
Your grandpa sucking some dicks to not get drafted.
Chaos Aghast Vulgarity (Whats In A Name)
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/chaos-aghsat-vulgarity-whats-in-a-name.html
Adolf Hitler
Al Pacino.
Alice in Wonderland.
Andre the Giant.
Bart Simpson.
Betty White
Bill Cosby.
Bond, James Bond.
Bridget the Midget
Britney Spears.
Bruce Wayne.
Cat Woman.
Charlie Brown.
Charlie Sheen.
Cher.
Chewbacca.
Chuck Norris.
Clark Kent.
Clint Eastwood.
Colonel Mustard.
Daniel Radcliffe.
David Bowie.
David Lee Roth.
Dennis Rodman.
Doctor Phil.
Eddie Murphy.
Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
Elvis.
Gene Simmons.
gene Wilder.
Han Solo.
Harry Potter
Howard Stern.
Hugh Heffner.
Hulk Hogan.
Jack Nicholson.
Jay Leno.
Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Jennifer Love Hewitt.
Jerry Springer.
John F. Kennedy.
John Madden.
John Travolta.
Johnny Carson.
Keith Richards.
Kermit the Frog.
Kevin Bacon.
King Kong.
Larry King.
Luke Skywalker.
Master Yoda.
Matthew McConaughey.
Megyn Kelly.
Michael J. Fox.
Michael Jordan.
Michelle Obama.
Mick Jagger.
Mike Tyson.
Miss Piggy.
Mitt Romney.
Morgan Freeman.
Mrs. Claus.
Myley Cyrus.
Napoleon Bonaparte
Neil Diamond.
O.J. Simpson.
Oprah Winfrey.
Pamela Anderson.
Pee Wee Herman.
Princess Leia.
Richard Pryor.
Robert De Niro.
Ron Jeremy.
Ronald McDonald.
Rosie O'Donnell.
Seth McFarland.
Sir Elton John.
Spiderman.
Steve Harvey.
Steven Tyler.
Superman
Ted Cruz.
The Devil
The Grim Reaper.
The Grinch.
The Three Stooges.
Tim Allen.
Vin Diesel
Vladimir Putin.
Willy Wonka.
Cords Against the 80s
http://www.cordsagainstharmony.com/cords-against-the-80s/
_____ is filmed before a live studio audience.

...and _____ half the battle.
...Come on down! You’re the next contestant on _____!
21 _____ Street.
A Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s _____.
By the power of _____ … I HAVE THE POWER!
I pity da foo’ _____!
Indiana Jones and the Temple of _____.
Like a virgin, _____ for the very first time, Like a vir-ir-ir-ir-gin.
Look Ma! I caught _____!
Now here’s a little story that I got to tell, about _____.
Papa Smurf, Brainy Smurf, and _____ Smurf.
She told me her name was Billie Jean, as she caused a scene, then every head turned with eyes that dreamed of _____.
Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame, darling you give ___ a bad name...
This is my rifle, this is my gun. This is for fighting, this is for _____.
Time after time, if you fall I will catch you, I will be _____ time after time.
WellI love a rainy night, it’s such a beautiful sight, I love to feel _____ on my face.
Whatcha gonna do brother, when _____ and run wild on you!?
Would you be mine, Could you be mine, Won’t you be _____.

You take the good, you take the bad, and there you have _____.
A Flock of Motherfucking Sea Gulls.

A gang of Garbage Pail Kids beating down a Cabbage Patch Doll cowboy-style in a dark alley.
ALF.
Answering the door, and admitting that you're Sarah Connor.
Avoiding the Noid.
Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice! Beetlejuice!
Being a Thunder...Thunder... THUNDERCAT'S HOE!!!
Being all "business in the front", and "party in the back".
Being better than the Russians.
Being Gumby, DAMN IT!

Being scared shitless as a child by Sinead O'Connor's bald fucking head.
Black child actors with glandular disorders that cause them to look like they're 12 year old... forever.
Champagne Wishes and Caviar Dreams.
Chucky being your friend to the end.
Crying like a little bitch in the middle of the movie theater when Optimus Prime died.
Dancing on the ceiling.
Doing "Wax On, Wax Off" on your junk.
Falling and not being able to get back up.
Feeling The Power of The Ultimate Warriorrrrrrrr!
Fraggle Rock.
Grown-ass men wearing short-shorts while jogging around like their ass cheeks aren't hanging out.
Gummiberry juice.
Having Michael Bay remake your childhood and fucking it all up.
Hiring Tony Danza to be your housekeeper; because you're the fucking boss.
Home perms and parachute pants.
Homie not playing dat.
Hungry Hungry Hippos!!!
Jabba-jabba-jabba-jabba-jabba-jabba Jabberjaw bitch.
Knowing exactly where the beef is, but not saying anything to anybody.
Learning Karate from the old Asian guy that's supposed to be fixing your fucking sink.
Living in constant fear of those pesky Russians and nuclear annihilation.
Making He-Man and She-Ra kiss.
Masturbating to Jem and the Holograms.
Michael Jackson before he was white.
Milli Vanilli not blaming it on the rain when they got caught.
Motherfucking cheap-ass GoBots.
Motherfucking Magnum P.l.
Not being afraid of no ghost.
ONE POINT TWENTY-ONE GIGAWATTS!!!
Pee-wee Herman masturbating in a theater.
Punky Brewster.
Punky motherfucking Brewster!
Reaganomics.
Receiving a Mogwai for Christmas, getting him wet, feeding his offspring after midnight, and subsequently letting
them kill your friends and loved ones.
Rocking like a hurricane.
Roscoe P. Coltrane.
Taking on the entire Nazi army with nothing but a bull-whip, a cool hat, and a small Asian boy.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Soup.
That splotch on Mikhail Gorbachev’s head.
The crack epidemic.
Using a realistic toy gun to rob a gas station, and getting shot by the police in the process.
Webster.
What the fuck Willis was talkin’ ’bout.
EMBOWAFA (Eat My Butt Out With A Fork Asshole)
http://www.printerstudio.com/sell/designs/embowafa-deck.html
______, Bandsmen of the year.
Ah yes, nothing unifies a people like ______.
Eat my butt out with ______, asshole.

Final Score:
Trojans - 69
______ - 0.
Giving the Band ______ was a terrible idea.
Hazing is just another word for ______.
Nobody gets through ______.

Nothing ruins a tailgate quite like ______.
Once upon a time, my name was ______.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send ______ right over!
The FCC has issued a fine for ______.
Why are you late to call time?
You can get on the bus, you can get off the bus, but you can't ______.
(Allegedly) Stealing a uniform off of a bus.

An uncanny hatred for anything and everything blue.
Ashley "Busfuck" Cauble
Assholes.
Blocking traffic.
Boobs. Jugs. Tiggle Biddies.

Breaking a man's leg
Ching, Boom!
Coleslaw that has been left in the sun.

Desperately holding on to your college memories as a talisman against old age.
Dr. Arthur C. Bartner.
Driving it down the field.
EMBOWAFA.
Failing a sobriety test.
Fighting On.
Freshman Spirit Missions.
fucia.
Helicopter Parents.
Modifying a musical instrument into a bong.
One poncho.
One spat, one shoe, different feet.
Playing the same song over and over and over and over and over and over...
Power Chords.
RELAY!
Rick Aerobics.
RollerBus.
RollerPlane.
Ruining the show.
Rule #1.
Selling Out.
Shitting in the head of a bus.
Stepping out.
Stumbling through a dance routine.
Taking up an entire row of seats.
The Bush Push.
The cold, unfamiliar clarity of sobriety.
The Colliseum.
The flutes.
The New Band.
The Old Band.
The Original Tommy's Cheeseburger.

The Rose Bowl.
The So-Cal Spellout.
The Statute of Limitations.
The unbearable heat of astroturf.
The University of Southern California Trojan Football Team.
The University of Southern California Trojan Marching Band.
The USC Song Girls.
Tommy Trojan.
Tony Fox.
Traveler.
TUSK.
Uncle Pete Carroll.
Unitentionally demonstrating your newfound drinking abilities in front of your parents.
Wearing sunglasses at night.
Turds Against Equality, Vol. 1
http://turdsagainstequality.wixsite.com/turds
_____ is a strange way to cope with _____.

_____: now available in kid's sizes!
A major fast food chain is under investigation after employees were accused of _____ in the fries.
Alert: Zombie outbreak! Unlike those seen in movies, these zombies prefer to feed on _____.
Being a mother to a teenager is hard. Just yesterday I found _____ in his sock drawer.
Captain, I don't think I'm going to make it. Tell my mother I'm _____.
Death by _____. What a way to go!
Ever since I started writing a blog about _____, I’ve really felt like I’m _____.
He was really cute, but I thought it was a little weird that he was _____ on the first date.
Heaven is everything I thought it would be, though I’m a little surprised to see _____ here.
Hey neighbor, I'm out of town this weekend, would you mind taking care of _____ while I’m gone?
I don’t understand why people find _____ offensive.
I liked the Ice Bucket challenge, but I don't see how the _____ challenge will raise money for charity.
I, the Card Czar, am _____.
Instead of Viagra, I use _____ to get my dick hard.
My baby wouldn't stop crying at night, until I tried _____. Now she never wakes me up.
My dildo just wasn’t working for me, so I tried sticking _____ up my ass.
On a scale of _____ to _____, how great was the sex last night?
Several southern state legislators are now fighting for the legalization of _____.
There’s nothing better than the sweet smell of _____ in the morning.
These cards fucking suck. (Draw 2, Pick 3)
What ruined an otherwise lovely blowjob?
When I was younger, I used to check under my bed for _____.
When threatened by a grizzly bear, _____ has been shown to be very effective.
Why am I having trouble walking?
A black life that doesn’t matter.

A blowjob so bad your professor lowers your grade.
A botched St. Albert piercing.
A camel toe that won't quit.
A chink.
A chode.
A faggot.
A fat kid with Down syndrome.
A feminist who is surprisingly not ugly as fuck.
A filthy Mexican.
A German candle.
A golden shower.
A good buttfucking.
A heavily-used rectal thermometer.
A Holocaust blooper reel.
A miscarriage.
A nigger.
A sand nigger.
A terrible gag reflex.
A transgender who isn't fooling anyone.
A turd.
A white bitch who can't even.
An ejaculation that never seems to end.
An elephant who wishes he could forget.
An incomprehensible level of mental retardation.
An unfortunate consequence of postpartum depression.
Asians who actually shave their fucking pubes.
Assfucking the gay out of my son.
Assuming all Muslims are terrorists.
Being an attractive, straight, white, able-bodied, cisgender male.
Being just a little bit gay.
Being vegan and not shutting the fuck up about it.
Blowing a massive load of hot cum all over the face of a crying infant.
Blue balls.
Boner alert!
Caitlyn’s rock-hard cock.
Claiming rape because you regret it.
Cockblocking.
Completely disregarding the rights of minorities.
Crotchless toddler underwear.
Cum breath.
Cumming blood.
Doing CrossFit and not shutting the fuck up about it.
Enormous ass tumors that make anal sex with my daughter a bloody mess.
Erotic asphyxiation.
Facesitting.
Faking an orgasm.
Fat people who complain about everything.
Flicking the bean.
Forcing children to have sex with each other at gunpoint.
Fucking while she’s on her period until your bed looks like a crime scene.
Getting a job at the morgue for the free sex.
Getting gang-raped by a harem of HIV-positive gorillas.
Giving birth to and raising my rapist's son.
Gluten-free semen.
Helicopter dick.
Hiding AIDS needles in the children’s ball pit.
Inappropriate dreams about Daddy.
Indiscriminately blaming others of discrimination.
Inequality.
Keeping bloodlines pure.
Knocking up a 9-year-old.
Learning of your infertility a week after your wife gives birth.
Living in North Korea.
Lying about pulling out.
Maintaining eye contact.
Morning wood.
My Grandmother's bone-dry, crusty cunt.
My old hunting shed that definitely isn't used for dismembering homosexuals.
My raping hat.
Orange Jews from 100% concentrate.
Pedophillic priests.
Practicing sex positions with your dog.
Praying to a God who obviously doesn’t exist.
Pushing over a kid in a wheelchair and peeing on him as he struggles to crawl away.
Realizing the girl left the gangbang an hour ago.
Recognizing Dad’s voice 15 minutes into a gloryhole blowjob.
Rectal quivers.
Social justice warriors who think they're anything more than spineless cunts.
Spreading peanut butter on your balls and calling for your pet.
Spreading semen across her forehead and whispering "Simba”.
Sticking your erect penis through your neighbour's mail slot and ringing the doorbell.
Swiping right.
Taking a shit on the national flag.
Tasteful child pornography.
The bittersweet orgasm of a rape victim.
The Card Czar.
The inherent inferiority of women.
The person to my right.
The struggles of being an Atheist and knowing that you're right.
The supremacy of whites.
The tiny corpse under my porch.
This week’s mass shooting.
Using teeth.
Waking up to a blowjob when you live alone.
Walking in on Grandpa shitting on Mommy's pussy.
Watching your puppy get savagely disembowelled by a pack of rabid coyotes.
White guilt.
Special Set
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DRAW 2, PICK 3
Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Senility
https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/151177/Cards-Against-Senility
Cards Against Senility is an unofficial expansion to the offensive game of a similar name. It's filled with old
people and old people-related thing, like expired medicine and the 'good old days.'
______? Nah. Kids today just don’t want to work hard like we did.
Come over here and pull my ______.
Damn ___________!
Don’t go in your grandparents’ room, unless you want to see old pictures of ______.
Get off my lawn!
Grandma and grandpa loved telling us old stories about ______, regardless of how uncomfortable it made us.
Help. I can’t open my ______.
I can’t find my ______. It was right here a minute ago.
I’d feel a lot better about my tax dollars if I didn’t suspect the government was spending it all on ______.
I’ll take _______ for $400 Alex.
In my day we didn’t have any fancy ______.

My grandkid can beat your grandkid at inane trivia about ______.
My uncle thinks Eisenhower is still president, therefore it’s okay to use the word ______.
The inheritence was a little smaller than I expected. Grandma had wasted over $200,000 on ______.
The nursing home refused to take either of my parents because of ________.
The smell of _______ was more than I could take. Oddly, grandma hardly noticed.
Try as I might, I can’t seem to wash out ______.
Twitter™ Senior now allows old people to bitch and moan about _______ without fear of reprisal. Or emoticons.
We had to walk uphill, in the snow, just to get ______.
What stops working when you turn 60?
When I was your age I already owned my own ______.
Whenever grandpa gets upitity, I like to hide his ______.
30 cats.
A "borrowed" handicap placard.
A creepy doll collection.
A dusty old vagina.
A fixed income.
A friend request from grandma.
A jar of expired medicine.
A Jitterbug™ cellphone.
A luxury car that's too long to park.
A Mark IV Rascal™ scooter.
A mole with a hair in it.
A shit-stained wheelchair seat.
A strange call from grandma about e-mail chain letters that meanders into Pat Sejak territory only to end in a
racist rant about 'dem liberals.
A supersize tube of Ben-Gay™.
A VCR that continually flashes 12:00.

A very loud television.
AARP junk mail.
Another "whan am I going to have grandchildren?" voicemail.
Arguing so long you forgot what it was about.
Black licorice.
Disrespectful teenagers, I tell you.
Early bird specials.
Extra-absorbant adult diapers.
Flroida Jews.
Forgetting to take your pills and learning the hard way how important a liver is.
Glass figurines shaped like dancing frogs.
Glaucoma weed.
Grandma's one stiff boob.
Grandma's sloppy kisses.
Grandpa's glass eye.
Grandpa's swear jar filled with Canadian nickels.
Hoarding.
Hot flashes.
Incontinence.
Kasha™.
Life Alert™
Liver spots shaped like the presidents.

Matlock, yo.
My uncle's flippant use of the n-word.
Nursing home intercourse.
Old erections.
Pill alarm clocks.
Sam Waterston's life insurance policy.
Sandals and socks. Together.
Shoplifting hearing aid batteries.
Social security.
Stained dentures soaking in bleach and urea.
Stolen sugar packets.
Swollen gums.
Trapped inside the free blood pressure machine at the pharmacy.
Unrelenting and unabashed farts.
Varicose veins poking through discount support hose.
Warts.
What was that now?
Wrinkle cream.
Cords Against Trekkies
http://www.cordsagainstharmony.com/cords-against-trekkies/
A common saying among Romulans is, “Never turn your back on _____”.
All hands to battlestations. Divert emergency power to _____.
And like a thousand other commanders on a thousand other battlefields, I wait for _____.
Borg nanoprobes are the perfect solution for _____.

Damn it Jim! I’m a doctor not _____.
Data calls his latest poem “Ode to _____”.
Flair is what marks the difference between artistry and _____.
I fall asleep each night with _____ in my hands.
If the warp drive fails to activate, the results could be _____.
It’s called the Neutral Zone because _____ is forbidden.
Laws change depending on who’s making them, but _____ is justice.
Lieutenant, you are looking at the only man to beat _____.
Logic is the beginning of wisdom, not _____.

No starship would be complete without _____.
Red Alert. Shields up. All hands prepare for ______!
Some are born great. Some achieve greatness. And some have _____ thrust upon them.
Space is _____ and _____ wrapped in darkness and silence.

Star Trek III: The Search for _____.
Starfleet was founded to seek out new life and _____.

Thanks to _____, we were able to miraculously avoid a warp core breach at the last second.
The best part of my fictional holodeck future was _____.
The lesser-known “Klingon High Council of _____”.

The line must be drawn here! This far, and no farther! I shall make them pay for _____!
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of _____.
The new Starfleet uniform code: Command: Red. Operations: Gold. _____: Blue.
There was a time when you looked up at the stars and dreamed of _____.
There’s nothing left but dried bones and _____.
What am I going to spend my first bar of gold-pressed latinum on?
What was the best thing I learned at Starfleet Academy?
A bathroom no one ever uses.

A Borg Queen with daddy issues.
A box full of Tribbles.
A Changeling that enjoys turning into a giant vagina at the most inappropriate times.
A clinically depressed Klingon who just wants a hug.
A computer that just knows when you're talking to it.
A Ferengi in a string bikini.
A First Contact Mission... In my pants!
A flamboyantly gay Romulan.
A hologram that can do your job better than you.
A hypospray full of Roofies.
A Klingon cock ring.
A large gender-neutral Klingon.
A sexually confused Cardassian.
A Sexy Borg, doing a sexy dance.
All eight Weyoun's in a room performing bukkake on each other.
An Alien species posturing with their shields up and weapons locked.
Another Warp Core breach.
Ball slapping zero gravity sex.
Beating an empath at poker.
Becoming a Syntheholic.
Being blown, not sucked, into space.
Being rejected by the Borg for assimilation.
Being the guy that has to mop up the holosuite after one of Quark's X-rated simulations.
Being the only one on the Away Team who's wearing a red shirt.
Bi-sexual Tribbles doing "bi-sexual things" in your Cheerios.
Blowing two guys in an alley for your next hit of Ketracel-White.
Boldly going where every man has gone before; without a condom.
Captain Kirk.
Captain Picard.
Cardassian tickle porn.
Commander Riker's fabulous beard.
Commander Sisko.
Concealing a boner in a spandex spacesuit.
Contracting the Phage, on your dick.

Cosplaying as a Gorn; the sexy way.
Creating a massive chroniton field in your pants.
Dabo Girls Gone Wild!
Dr. McCoy.
Dress uniforms that really are dresses.
Eating chocolate to bury your depression.
Ejecting the warp core.
Evasive maneuvers doing fuck all.
Getting it on, in a Jeffries Tube.
Givin' her all she's got.
Going to red alert just as you're about to come.
Gowron's crazy eyes.
Gowron's secret tickle fetish.
Gul Dukat.
Having an unlimited supply of expendable shuttlecraft.
Having Kazon hair on your junk.
Having sex... The Talaxian way.
Having sexual fantasies about Kes... Only to realize later, that she was technically only three years old.
Having the unfortunate title of being Picard's "Number Two".
Ignoring the Prime Directive.
Jello wrestling a Jem'Hadar.
Jem'Hadar who are overly proud of how well they do jazz hands.
Joining Starfleet and finding out that aliens really do want to give humans anal probes.
Klingon dungeon porn.
Masturbating to a holodeck program of yourself masturbating.
Materializing without clothes on.
Miles O'Brien's undying prejudice.
More exploding consoles.
Morn.
Performing a prostate exam on a Klingon.
Picard's "O-face".
Playing with a Klingon's pain stick.
Replying to the Vulcan greeting of "live long and prosper" by throwing up the Shocker.
Scotty.
Self-replicating dildos.
Self-sealing stem bolts.
Shaka when the walls fell.
Sleeping with your android crewmate.
Space barbers.
Space Herpes.
The Dominion.
The Earth-shattering revelation that J.J. Abrams might put a Klingon in the background of the new Star Wars
movie.
The flaccid dick of the Grand Nagas.
The Maquis.
The Obsidian Order.
The Picard Maneuver.
The Tal Shiar.
Trying to convince your girlfriend to paint her body green so that you can do it the “Kirk way”.
Two Ferengi shitting in the air-lock.
Using contractions in spite of your programming.
Using the holodeck to satisfy your sexual depravities.
Using the lateral sensors to spy on girls.
Wesley Crusher.
Worf's sexy thong.
Wormhole aliens.
Geeks vs Harsh Reality

http://www.drivethrucards.com/product/187889/Geeks-Vs-Harsh-Reality-Base-Set
A geek themed expansion.
Successfully funded on Kickstarter on April 10, 2016 raising $10,642 with 236 backers. Released on
September 15, 2016.
_____? I played that in the 80s in my backyard, With ninja stars.
_____. The real reason all roleplaying games use dice.
“Okay. So my orc fighter-jestercleric has this sword that allows him to detect secret doors, but one time it
didn’t work and I told my DM that it can’t not work, because I had it blessed by a priest of _____ after washing it
in the blood and bile of ________.”
Anime is to _____, as porn is to _____.

Aren’t you a little short for a _____?
Friendship isn’t magic. It’s _____.
Grognards love to brag about how great everything used to be before ______ came along. Which is really just a
cheap substitute for _____.
I bought ______ because I thought it had the kung-fu grip. Instead it only had _____.
I bought a game online for 20% off retail and then spent $14 on shipping. Now that my FLGS is out of business,
I can’t find anyone to play ______ with me.
I can’t afford to go to any conventions this year, so I’m hosting a ______ event in my garage instead.
I can’t afford to pay you for your art, but can I trade you a ______ for it?
I cast monster summoning IX, and all I got was this lousy _____.
I finally got a job at a hobby store that specializes in _____.
I had my most recent nerdgasm over _____.
I have this sexual fantasy about superheroes where I’m with ______ and we are totally into whipped cream and
_____.
I use _____ to keep all my comics in mint condition.
I used to think Shadowrun™ was the stupidest game ever written until I played _____.
I’ll trade you issue #6 of Catwoman for _____.
I’ve been living in my parents basement, inventing a game about _____. Problem is, my parents think I live in
Cleveland.
I’ve lost friends over Diplomacy™, Risk™, and _____.

In the latest issue of Spandex Monthly, the caped crusader must save the earth from _____.
My cosplay fetish is dressing up like _____.
My once mighty, mint condition ______ now looks like a sun-bleached _____.
My rent is $300 per month, But my ______ budget is $1000.
My significant other left me because of my _____ collection.
Nerd! Someone failed their save against _____.
One more friend, and I can start playing two-player _____.
Remember when Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles™ was gritty and well-written? Back before _____.
Since they couldn’t sell any copies of _____, they are going to mulch the entire production run and use it to plant
______ behind an abandoned game store.
Star Wars™ XI is already in the works. It will star ______ and include a plot to save the galaxy from _____.
The 1st Edition of everything is always better. Well, Except for _____.
The D&D Cartoon™ was pretty good, until the episode about the _____.
The difference between high elves, dark elves, wild elves, and grey elves is _____.
There’s a booth at the convention that sells used Hentai and ______ for 50% off. If you’re into that sort of thing.
There’s a new Transformer™ coming named ‘Colonel Southpaw.’ It transforms from a robot into a ______ and
back again.
There’s a new website dedicated to _____. It’s filled with geeks who argue with nerds and nerds who say that
______ is the only real reason to watch season three of _______.
This card is blank. It does not give a shit about your geekery. Play whatever card you want, you mouth-
breathing, pedantic, rivet-counting, spawn of _____.
We need a new superhero movie about _____.
We were so close to having gender equality in gaming until someone made a game about _____.
What killed off my party?
“Boffo” LARPers who argue over the reality of historic combat while swinging floppy foam swords.
#gamesession
$318 worth of dice.
A 10th level geek playing a motherfucking sorcerer.
A 30-minute demo for a 15-minute game.
A Bigger, blacker wand of orcus.
A can of $7 Coke™ at another unwashed geek trade show.
A dice bag collection.
A DM who keeps track of her total party kills.
A free app for a board game you’ve already spent $80 on.
A website dedicated to the sad little people who can’t accept that Firefly™ was cancelled.
A well-worn copy of the Dork Knight Returns™.
Action figures from cancelled cartoons. In Japan.
Adults who read Fruit Basket™. (yeah. we know it’s called fruits basket™, but correcting it would have been too
much work. and fuck you for knowing we misspelled it.)
All of my #gamergate friends.
An overpriced pop culture reference t-shirt.
Anime blowjobs.
Anime weapons that are taller than six people.
Another Fantasy Flight™ toy disguised as a game.
Another fantasy heartbreaker.
Another fucking unoriginal Batman™ costume.
Another fucking unoriginal Slave Leia™ costume.
Another lame Inego Montoya quote that never sounds spontaneous and/or interesting.
Ass-crack shaming at CCG tournaments.
Auctions for board games that were never opened.
Bards.
Brian “Fucking” Berg.
Bronies who’ve clearly suffered some kind of head trauma.
Cancelled shows.
Casting ‘magic missile.’
Collector’s editions.
Colonel Sanders™ cosplay.
Comic-cons with no comics.
Convention restrooms that have only been open for 20-minutes, but smell like the entirety of Mumbai.
Cosplay outfits that look like broken tubes of biscuit dough.
Cosplayers whose have to be picked up and dropped off by their parents.
Cosplaying as Tin-Tin™.
Crossplaying.
d4 Caltrops.
Diets that consist solely of Cheetos™ and Mountain Dew™.
Drizzt™ fandom that somehow hasn’t been clinically diagnosed as something else.
Dungeon Masters with selfesteem issues.
EA Sports™ anything.
Edition-War enthusiasts.
Even more first-person shooters.
Fanfiction mashups.
Furries in 100 degree weather. Fahrenheit or Celsius. Whatever.
Game designers devoid of math skills.
Game table selfies.
Gamer virgins.
Geeks who can’t do one fucking pull-up.
Grown men wearing Sailor Moon™ costumes.
Grown men who argue about how lightsabers work, when they don’t have jobs.
Half-orc, half-elf juggleracrobats.
Inappropriate Boothbabes advancing the cause of women’s rights with latex and fake boobs.
Insufferable 40K players and their constant bitching.
Lifting thor’s hammer with my penis.
Listening politely about yet another character, while humming the A-Team™ intro music in your head.
Lying about your die rolls.
Magical swords named after sex moves. And vice versa.
Mathfinder players who think talking with accents equates to roleplaying.
Maximum hit points.
Meeple puns.
Mint-condition superhero whatever.
Moms against fun.
Moms who are ashamed of their geeky kids.

More World of Warcraft™ bullshit.
Motherfucking THAC0. Are you kidding me with that shit?
Motherfucking Vecna™.
My Little Pony™ bedsheets.
Non-geeks who insist, “I had a life in high school.”
Obviously unwell people who think Big Bang Theory™ is funny.
One of those overly-enthusiastic S.C.A. shitheads who has no idea that everyone hates him.
One of those passive-aggressive Eurogamer fucks who has no idea that everyone hates him.
Overly-used and unfunny Monty Python™ jokes.
People who are more efficient with their time in sims™ than they are in the real world.
People who buy $20 miniatures with $200 paint jobs.
People who buy kilts and chainmail bikinis. Unironically.
People who call Munchkin™ a game.
People who can name every fucking orc at Helm’s Deep.
People who let their ego be affected by critical hits and fumbles.
People who think Risk™ is complicated.
People with no life, playing Second Life™.
Pirating PDFs for a roleplaying game you’re actually campaigning. I mean, what the fuck?
Playing mario kart™ on your PSP while everyone else at the table is slaying a dragon.
Pretentious hipster designers and their boutique games.
RIFTS™ character generation.
Shiny!
Shitty gamers who blame their shitty luck on shitty dice rolls instead of their shitty decision making skills.
Signed CCG cards that will be obsolete in six months.
Star Wars™/Star Trek™ crossovers.
Strength 18/00.
Super Mario Brothers™? More like Stupid Mario Brothers™. Am I right?
Telling the GM that you are always checking for traps, but stumbling upon one anyway because the GM is a
fucking tool.
The empty satisfaction of unlocking all achievements.

The ever-stupid, yet nostalgic alignment chart.
The inevitable flame wars about the Final Fantasy VII remake.
The oblivious irony that the Legend of Zelda™ is actually about a twink fairy named Link™.
The Red Box™.
The sensation of waiting for another book in the Game of Thrones™/Wheel of Time™/Something of Doom
book series only to have it snuffed out with the author’s untimely death.
The shrine of Gary Gygax.
The unnecessary addition of steampunk to everything.
Treasure Type M.
Unwashed geek funk.
Victorian cosplay that doesn’t take into account how bad everyone really smelled back then (not to mention all
the disease and inbreeding).
Video games that are essentially walking simulators.
Vulcans cosplaying as Romulans.
Weighted dice.
Werewolf sex.
Winter is coming memes.
Special Set
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Cards Against Your Face: Cards Against Stupidity
https://www.drivethrucards.com/product/140723/Cards-Against-Stupidity
This is just the kind of stuff that drives me nuts (and probably you, too). Seriously annoying and stupid things and people
______ is to ________, as socialized medicine is to Hitler.

______. That’s why we can’t have nice things.
Customers who purchased ______ on amazon.com, also bought ______.
Even my stupid-ass kids are smarter than ______.
Finally. A Facebook update about ______ that doesn’t make me want to bury my face in ______.
Half man. Half ________.
Homeopathic medicine can now cure ______, by mixing mercury and ______ together.
Hurry, before hipsters ruin ________, too.
I always assumed Family Circus™ was secretly about ______.
I just bought an ironic t-shirt with the slogan ______, and a picture of a ______ on it.
I’d rather get smacked with a ton of _______ than see another LOLCat post.
My video of ______ just went viral.
Now that Washington and Colorado have legalized weed, I only go to Holland for _________.
Oh good. Another unofficial expansion to Cards Against Humanity™. At least this one doesn’t have that overly-offensive _
Thanks to you and your ______, I’ll never worry about ______, again.
The zombie fad is finally dying off. What’s next?
This time, Liam Neeson must rescue his daughter from ______.
can’t afford
We need a wagepriority
to maximize increaseworkflow
because into
we lost all of our money
synchronized investing
synergistic in ______.platforms that analyze and manage re
application
______.
What wouldn’t Jesus do?
2 a.m. cockfighting,
24-Hour CNN coverage of a 12-minute event.
A fake profile on Match.com™.
A rusted and abandoned Love Tester™ machine.
Activists tweeting their rage against corporations from their iPhones™.
Adults who say the word "mommy."
Another iTunes™ update.
Another Kickstarter™ campaign.
Another microbrew IPA that tastes like bong water strained through a dead fish anus.
Another shitty remake of another shitty movie (followed by a Police Academy™ movie marathon).
Another superhero reboot.
Another Time™ magazine cover about a possible Saved by the Bell™ reunion.
Anti-vaxxers on an airplane coming back from Liberia.
Asshats who bitch about lightsabers.
Asshats who debate the merits of black superheroes.

Asshats.
Assholes with overly complicated coffee orders and the baristas who cater to them.
Associate Justice Antonin Scalia's refill of crazy pills.
Celebrity chef catch-phrases.
Cosplayers.
Countries that refuse to use the metric system.
Cthulu rising up from the depths of the ocean because he's finally had it with our shit.
Filming my child's recital instead of watching it.
Getting out of jury duty by saying I'm a racist.
Goddamn fanfiction.
Informerical idiots who are stumped by milk cartons.
Low-fat cookie dough.
Media coverage blaming something violent on video games.
Memes.
My stupid fucking co-workers.
People wh osext while driving.
People who are still on AOL.
People who ask, “how was your weekend?”
People who misspell you’re.
People who name their cars.
People who quote the Big Lebowski, unironically.
People who say "My black friend."
People who say OH-EM-GEE.
People who think it's funny to do Arnold Schwarzenegger impersonations.

People who tweet their first world problems.
People who use the word "ironic" incorrectly.
People who use the word "literally" figuratively.
Pumpkin spice everything.
Shaving my eyebrows off and drawing them back in with a Sharpie™ pen.
Smacking someone else’s shitty kid.
Spending money on breast cancer awareness instead of researching a cure.
Taco Tuesday.
Talking animals.
The NFL™ mafia.
The Real Houswives™.
The unending stupid that is Florida.
The word ‘mouthfeel.’
Time-traveling Nazis.
Trigger words.
Truck nuts.
Ferengi Rules Against Harmony
http://www.cordsagainstharmony.com/ferengi-rules-against-harmony/
Created by Redditor th0r4z1n3. The Rules of Acquisition turned into Black Cards. There are no White Cards in this set.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 1: Once you have their _____, never give it back.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 2: The best deal is the one that brings the most _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 3: Never spend more for _____ than you have to.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 6: Never allow _____ to stand in the way of _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 7: Keep your _____ open.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 8: Small _____ lead to large _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 9: Opportunity plus _____ equals _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 10: _____ is eternal.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 13: Anything worth doing is worth doing for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 16: A _____ is a _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 17: A contract is a contract is a contract... but only when _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 18: A Ferengi without _____ is no Ferengi at all.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 19: _____ is not guaranteed.

Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 21: Never place _____ above _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 22: A wise man can hear _____ in the wind.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 23: Nothing is more important than your health... except for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 27: There's nothing more dangerous than _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 31: Never make fun of a Ferengi's _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 33: It never hurts to suck up to _____.

Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 34: War is good for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 34: _____ is good for business.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 35: Peace is good for _____.

Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 40: She can touch your _____, but never your _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 41: _____ is its own reward.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 44: Never confuse _____ with _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 45: _____ or die.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 47: Never trust a man with better _____ than your own.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 48: The bigger the _____, the sharper the knife.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 52: Never ask, when you can take _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 53: Never trust anybody taller than _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 54: _____ divided by _____ equals _____. (Also known as the “velocity of wealth”)
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 55: Take joy from _____, and profit from _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 57: Good _____ are as rare as latinum. Treasure them.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 58: There is no substitute for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 59: Free _____ are seldom cheap.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 60: Keep your _____ consistent.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 62: The riskier the _____, the greater the profit.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 65: Win or lose, there's always _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 68: _____ doesn't always equal reward.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 74: Knowledge equals _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 75: Home is where the heart is, but _____ are made of latinum.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 76: Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 77: If you're _____, I'll charge you for it.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 79: Beware of the Vulcan greed for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 82: The flimsier the _____, the higher the price.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 85: Never let the competition know that you're _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 87: Learn _____'s weaknesses so you can take better take advantage of them.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 88: _____ will cost you everything.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 89: Ask not what _____ can do for you, but what _____ can do for your profits.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 94: Females and _____ don't mix.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 95: Expand or _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 97: _____ is never enough.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 98: Every man has his _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 99: _____ is the biggest liability of all.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 102: _____ decay, but latinum lasts forever.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 103: Sleep can interfere with _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 104: Faith moves mountains... of _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 106: There's no honor in _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 109: _____ and an empty sack is worth the _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 111: Treat people in your debt like _____... exploit them.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 112: Never have sex with the boss's _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 113: Always have sex with _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 121: Everything is for sale, even _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 123: Even _____ can recognize the flow of _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 125: You can't make _____ if you're _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 139: _____ serve, _____ inherit.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 141: Only fools pay for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 144: There's nothing wrong with _____... as long as it winds up in _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 147: People love _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 162: Even with the worst _____, someone turns a profit.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 168: Whisper your way to _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 177: Know your enemies... but do _____ with them always.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 181: Not even _____ can tarnish the shine of profit.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 189: Let others keep their _____. You keep their _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 190: Hear all, trust _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 192: Never cheat _____... unless you can get away with it.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 193: It's never too late to _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 193: _____ come in threes.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 194: It's always good to know about new _____ before they walk in your door.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 202: The justification for profit is _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 203: New customers are like _____. They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 208: Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than _____ are _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 211: _____ are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 214: Never begin _____ on an empty stomach.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 217: You can't free a fish from _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 218: Sometimes _____ cost entirely too much.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 223: Beware the man who doesn't make time for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 229: _____ lasts longer than lust.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 235: Duck; _____ is tall.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 236: You can't buy _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 239: Never be afraid to mislabel _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 242: _____ is good. _____ is better.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 243: _____ begins at home.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 244: When the messenger comes to appropriate _____... kill the messenger.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 245: Time, like _____, is a highly limited commodity.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 246: Always inspect _____ before _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 247: Money is money, but females are _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 248: Why ask, when you can start _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 249: Good things come from _____.

Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 250: _____ is easier to believe than the truth.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 255: A wife is a luxury... _____ is a necessity.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 261: _____ can afford anything except _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 263: Never allow _____ to tarnish your lust for _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 266: When _____, lie.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 267: If you're _____, they're ____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 284: Deep down, everyone's _____.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 285: No good _____ ever goes unpunished.

Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 286: When _____ leaves, it's all over.
Ferengi Rule of Acquisition # 299: After you've exploited _____, it never hurts to thank them. That way it's easier to start _
Ferengi Rules of Acquisition (The Unwritten Rule): When no appropriate rule applies, start _____.
Geeks vs Harsh Reality: Expansion 1

http://www.drivethrucards.com/product/187890/Geeks-Vs-Harsh-Reality-Volume-Two
A geek themed expansion.

Successfully funded on Kickstarter on April 10, 2016 raising $10,642 with 236 backers. Released on September 15, 2016
Be careful on the internet. Never go searching for anime pets and mistype it as _____.
Conan! What is best in life?
Disney’s™ Frozen™. Seriously. This is crack-level geekery. Do these shitty little kids have any idea how stupid their fando
as _____.
Does anyone else understand the ‘torture’ of waiting another week to find out what happens to _____?
Explain to me how your character is both a paladin and an assassin?
Godwin’s law, Wheaton’s law, or rule 34. Which of these best describes the atrocity that is _____?
I dropped my collectible ______ in the in the toilet. But the plumber will only pull it out if he can play with it.
I once cut open ______ with my lightsaber to stay warm.
I quit playing The World’s Largest Dungeon™ half-way through. Of course, the writer was an asshole, but that’s not why.
I started my adventuring career as _____.
I used meetup.com™ to find fans of _____, but instead I ended up in a group dedicated to _____.
I waited in line for seven hours in order to see _____.
In a fight between Goku™ and Superman™, only ______ would actually win.
In Catan™, while everyone else is hoarding brick and stone, I hoard _____.
In my opinion, the number one thing that Michael Bay ruined was _____.
In the backer credits for the Pretty Little Liars™ My Little Pony™ movie mashup pledge, I am listed as being a lover of ___
Instead of wearing pants on the outside, Bizarro Superman™ wears ______ on the inside.
I’m going to Japan to indulge all of my anime and ______ fetishism. I’m sure the local boys and girls will love that I am otak
I’m offically weeaboo! I can’t wait for my anime version of ______ to arrive!
I’m so addicted to this new fan sponsored podcast. All they talk about is mashups. Like mixing ______ and _____. I can’t get
would add in some Pacific Rim™ once in a while.
Look! I wrote a feat about _____. I’m a game designer now. Yay!
My dice-licking fetish has a name now. It’s #47 on the list of top 100 stupid fetishes. Just under _____.
My friend and I were arguing about the difference between Kinbaku and Shibari, because in one instance I think Kinbaru
westerners who don’t understand its subtlety. On the other hand, my friend says _____. What are your thoughts?
My Ovipositor doesn’t lay eggs inside of me. It lays _____.
Someone is writing a book about classic action figure carrying cases, which is way geekier than my collection of _____.
Steampunk. AKA… _____.
The hulk’s alter ego has a secret shame. He likes to collect _____.
The latest, hottest, newest, most addictive game that you can learn in 10 minutes is about _____.
The Smithsonian™ wants to honor geekdom by putting ______ into its latest exhibit.
What I really miss about the #gamergate arguments is the _____.
While selling my action figures on Ebay™, I had to keep reminding people that ______ wasn’t included in the auction.
Yes!! Another Superman™ premiere! Can’t decide if I should wear the Japanese silk shirt with his face on it, or if I should
You know what Jack Burton always says at a time like this?
You’re not a real geek until you start collecting _____.
You’re not a real geek until you’ve purchased all sixteen seasons of Tuk-Tuk manga inspired by _____, in the original Japan
______ would be the perfect game if it wasn’t for the people playing it.
“I cast magic missile.”
“At what?”
“At... _____.”
“I was watching Rocket Jump™ on Hulu™ or maybe it was youtube.com™. Either way, in the background, they have a book
was an unopened copy of Pit™. I’ve never played it, but I hear it’s about _____.”
“So. Let me tell you about this epic game of Ticket To Ride™ we just played.”
“Please don’t.”
“Did he just say epic?”
“One minute I’m behind by sixteen trains. The next minute _____.”
“Yes. I rolled up these stats at home. If you’re calling me a liar, you can just play ______ without me.”
2 Gnomes. 1 Cup.
A Babylon 5 tattoo on my grundle.
A Star Trek™ cat dish.
A black super hero.
A female ghostbuster.
A shrubbery!
A smelly Shadowrun™ troll.
Adam Warlock.
An R2D2 garden gnome.
An overpriced pop culture t-shirt that will only be worn once.
An untouched bar of deoderant.
Anime hairpieces.
Anime stories that always end in gay sex.
Anonymously pretending to be Anonymous online.

Another pretty sidekick who just runs and screams while the doctor sonically screws everything.
Another unwanted shovelware fantasy world expansion for 99 cents on drivethrurpg.com™ with a $5 cover.
Bazinga socks. Go fuck yourself.
Being a nice guy.
Being forced to listen to stories about your fucking character.
Being ‘proudly’ interviewed for any geek-based documentary.
Boots of elvenkind, because ‘elf boots’ was too easy to spell.
Bullet-proof, polyhedrial dice.
Cat ears.
Classically inspired, neo-victorian erotica.
Colecovision™.
Comic book condoms.
Commercials featuring muscular gamers.
Deadpool™ something.
Dystopian cosplay; because life isn’t shitty enough.
Fantasy footballers.
Floppy lightsabers.
Font-nazis who think they are better than grammar-nazis.
Funbags of holding.
Furries who are actually attractive under all that shame.
Game designer rockstars. Pfft.
Gamers who let you know they’ve studied at least two martial arts… every… chance… they… get.
Gamers who play ‘solo.’
Gaymers.
Geek girls who want to be treated equally in this hobby. Really? This hobby? Why do you even want to be seen around th
Geek-dork-nerd venn-diagrams.
Geekrage mislabelled as nerdrage.
Glued-on steampunk gears.
Grown men with Lego™ displays and tumblr accounts based on said displays.
Hail Hyrda.
Half-half-elves.
Harry potter’s™ ‘magic’ wand.
Hitchhiker’s Guide™ to my dick.
Ignoring H.P. Lovecraft’s blatant racism.
Insufferable Felicia Day cultists.
International shipping.
Just shut up and play the goddamn game.
Lawful stupid.
Lobotomized Wil Wheaton worshippers.
Mages casting fireballs while drinking Fireball™.
Mario Kart™ drinking and driving.
Maxing out my credit cards on Magic: The Gathering™ cards. Two of them.
Memes about how much a fictional character can lift as if that shit wasn’t all made up.
Muggles who call themselves gamers.
Munchkin™ dick swindling.
My vice-like Kung Fu Grip™.
Nearly nude cosplay.
Neckbeards who ogle younger gamers.
Nerds who are constantly correcting people that they aren’t geeks.
Numchucks and ninja stars.
Off-topic lightsaber dick jokes.
People stupid enough to argue with comic book fans. Every fucking time. Seriously. When are they going to learn? It’s lik
resonates when a geek goes off about the possibility of a black batman. Who the fuck cares what color batman is. And wh
idiot. Let it fucking go you toothy buttnugget. Grow up already. Let the other idiot be an idiot. Fuck.
People who can explain the difference between My Little Pony™ and Pretty Pretty Princess™.
People who can speak elvish and dothraki but can’t hold down a job.
People who make binary jokes.
People who post spoilers and then complain when Star Wars™ is spoiled for them.
People who quibble over the definitions of remakes vs. relaunches.
People who ‘fucking love science.’
People who ‘like’ their own fanfic posts.
Pro seats and controllers for PS4™.
Punisher tattoos. (You’re a fucking tool. You know that right?)
Puns. Unending, stupid, fucking, ass-spelunking, iq-reducing, geek-ridden, shit-balls, turdburglar puns.
Relentless, repetitive, insipid princess bride quotes.
Rob Liefeld.
Roleplaying that unique snowflake dark elf with two swords. (She’s really a good person on the inside.)
S.C.A. bullshit. All of it.
Shitbirds who sell illegal art of Spiderman™.
Smurfette™.
Something to do with Ben Affleck.
Sticking my dick in a waifu pillow.
Stupid things that geeks say for $600, Alex.
Tardis keychains too big for my pocket.
Tenchi-gori-obu-naka-anime clone bullshit that all looks that same.
Tesla fetishism.
That guy who always plays paladins.
That moment when you find out your significant other is a geek (and you weep quietly into a sara lee cake).
That weird trade show booth that no one is visiting.
The J.J. Abrams treatment.
The awe-inspiring fear of Darth Vader™ bobble heads.
The cancerous Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull™.

The empowering and straightforward sex appeal of steamgirl Kato, with none of the confusing messages that might be d
boys with socialization issues.
The holy hand grenade of antioch (and the inevitable counting jokes that follow).
The long-awaited Jem And The Holograms™ porn parody.
The triumphant return of geekshaming. In card form.
The vice-president of my local Game Of Thrones™ fan club.
Third-party game products.

Total party kills (because those are fun).
Transformer™ lunchboxes.
Ungainly misanthropes who live at the comic shop.
Unicorns that fart rainbows.
Unopened pack of collector’s edition dolls. I mean action figures.

Wargamer podcasts.
Way too many lightsabers.
Weird-sided dice.
Wonder Woman™ fanfiction that someone doesn’t end in her pegging the author’s avatar.
Zack Snyder.
Special
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Cards Against Australia
An Australian themed set sold by CheriesCreationsAU.
This is a huge collection of Australian themed CAH cards, which are designed to be used as a stand alone game or as a fun ad
original. This is a must for any Australian Cards Against Humanity fan and will provide hours of fun and laughs! I have sourced
answers from various fan groups online, as well as adding a few myself.
No longer available for purchase.
There has been speculation of an affair between ______ and ______.
The Australian Government will return the budget to surplus by ______.

The boats were stopped with the help of ______.
______. Noice.
A recent poll found that 67% of Australians prefer ______ to ______.

I call the Honourable member for ______ to speak.
Rupert Murdoch just told News Corp to write pro-______ articles.

______, Another broken election promise.
Aussies at the Winter Olympics? Not unless _______ becomes a sport.
We need a Royal Commission into ______.
On Today/Tonight we'll expose Sydney's black market trade in ______.
Tonight on A Current Affair, ______ has been caught trying to ______.
______ is on the top of my things to-do list.
______. #morepopularthanTonyAbbott.
I spent my last Centrelink pay on ______.
Refugees will now be referred to as ______.
The ABC is supporting local content by showing a new series about ______.
Mining mogul Gina Rheinhart needs help with ______.
Although frowned upon it is not illegal to call a toddler ______.
______; please explain.
Not inviting someone to the BBQ, because last time they ______.
Try out new ______ flavoured Paddle Pop.
You know your mum is mad when ______.
You know your're in trouble when ______.
Blinky Bill was never the same after ______.
The only thing I can remember from the night before is ______.
I never thought I'd live to see ______.
Sit down son, let me tell you about ______.
In a new policy, the Australian government will now use ______ to stop the boats.
The best way to celebrate Australia Day usually involves ______.
Myer's Boxing Day sale comes with the exclusive offer of ______ for everyone.
That one time the Chaser's have the Make-a-Wish foundation kids ______.
______: done dirt cheap.
It has been discovered that ______ is the main ingredient in meat pies.
______ is what gives Foster's beer its distinctive taste.
Midnight Oil's most controversial album is titled "______: our Australian shame".
The strangest part of the federal elecetion was when the Prime Minister confirmed an increase in funding for ______.
We're happy little Vegemite'a as bright, as bright can be. We all enjoy ______ for breakfast lunch and tea.
The paint job of the Holden Kingswood will even withstand ______.
______ is now causing traffic jams in Sydney.
Crown Princess Mary has introduced the Danes to the Aussie tradition of ______.
When you're lost in the Aussie Outback, you will need ______ to survive.
After Cyclone Tracy hit, the only thing left was ______.
The Australian cricket team has won the Ashes thanks to ______.
Channel 9 is pleased to present its new variety show, "Hey Hey It's ______."
Next on Nine's Wide World of Sports: The World Championship of ______.
Life for Aboriginal people was forever changed when the white man introduced them to ______.
ABC presents "______: The Story of ______."
The school excursion was completely ruined by ______.
I bought back ______ from Bali.
I really didn't expect to find ______ in my Mongolian beef!
In an attempt to reach a wider audience, the National Museum of Australia has opened an interactive exhibit on ______.
Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1? I think I am, B2: it's ______ time!
Crikey! I've never seen ______ like this before! Let's get a bit closer.
The reason the original Wiggles broke up is ______.
As my New Year's resolution, I vow to give up ______.
In Australia, ______ is twice as big and twice as deadly.
Qantas now prohibits ______ on airplanes.
Oi! Show us ______!
No one cares about ______.
Before leaving the PM's office for the final time, Kevin Rudd left ______ for Julia Gillard.
You aren't a true Aussie unless you look forward to ______.
Bob Hawkes new favorite thing is ______.
When Oprah visited Australia, the first thing she wanted to eat was ______.
______; Authorised by the Australian government, Canberra.
Mum, Dad, I'm ______.
Remember to slip, slop, ______ every 2 hours.
Hey bud, throw some ______'s on the barbie.
G'day mate! Welcome to ______.
Nesquik® makes ______ fun!
Australians have voted to replace the Union Jack with an image of ______ on the national flag.
Good work, Mr Squiggle! It looks just like ______.
Australians all let us rejoice, For we are young and ______.
I love a sunburnt country; a land of sweeping plains, of ragged mountain ranges, of ______.
If you complain about ______, you really need to harden the fuck up!
This year, Australia's parliament will officially apologize to the Aboriginal population for ______.
Come to Melbourne, where you can relax in our world-famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy ______ by the po
I waitied for six months at the Christmas Island Immigration Detention Centre and all I got was ______.
Autralia: where even _______ can kill you.
The most memorable image from this year's Sydney Mardi Gras was ______ on a float.
The Great Barrier Reef is under dire threat from overfishing, toxic runoff, and _______.
You know you grew up in Autralia if you remember ______.
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE! _______!
______. Because _______ is for pussies.
You might be an Aussie if you _______.
_______; The real reason people call Australia the "Land Down Under."
Every thing is trying to ______ you in Australia.
______ was a classic.
Come to Australia! We've got ______ and ______ to ruin your day!
You like Australia, you'll love ______.
Australians will never forget the ______.
Australia nearly lost its United Nations status when the UN discovered _______.
Every Boxing Day, Australians sit down to watch ______.

Does spending my time on ______ make me an Australian hero? Yes, yes it does.
Fixing the ozone layer with ______ seemed like a good idea at the time.
Our country hosts the most deadly creatures known to man, yet I'll probably end up dying of ______.
I finally voted for The Greens because _______.
This Easter weekend, don't risk ______ or you'll face double demerits.
You can't really call yourself an Australian if you haven't spent any time ______.
It's kind of sad Australia's greatest legacy will end up being ______.
To be honest, Australian's don't really care about ______, but we'll act like we do as an excuse to start _______.
I love fucking with foreigners by convincing them we actually enjoy _______.
Productivity's gone way up since the government started offering ______ as employment incentives.
I barely made it out of Blacktown thanks to _______.
Knowing we invented _______ makes me proud to be Australian.
The addition of ______ to Slip Slop Slap was controversial yet effective.
You know you've got problems when you're on a second name basis with the guy who sells _______.
Next up on the New Inventors, an invention to aid _______.
The new cigarette packaging policy wasn't that effective until they started using pictures of _______.
Fuck emus, we should have ______ on our coat of arms.
In hindsight, making my political decisions based on ______ probably wasn't smart.
It was a tough choice between paying my rego or spending the money on _______, but who really needs to drive anyway?
We might not be the first to come up with _______, but Aussies are damn good at it.
I don't regret spending Australia Day _______.
The only way to prove I wasn't a soft cunt was to start ______.
I knew I shouldn't have spend $5000 on ______.
There's a ______ in the dunny.
______ is the real reason Bert Newton's hairpiece stays on his head.
Tie me ______ down sport!
This year's half time performance at the AFL Grand Final will feature ______.
The best way to entertain yourself in line at Centrelink is ______.
There's a new political party: The ______ Party.
The Big ______. Australia's newest tourist attraction.
Did you know that Vegemite is really made out of ______?
Good on ya Mum, _______'s the one, good on ya Mum.
Nek minnit, ______.
"Aussie Aussie Aussie"

"Oi Oi Oi"
#DixOutForSteveIrwin
100% Pure New Zealand
12 visits to Bali
a 23 second vomit sequence
a bleached arsehole
a bloody Queenslander
a blowie in the dunnies
a blowjob in a ute
a boot full of dead prostitutes
a boring-ass Boxing day test cricket match
A bottle of BBQ sauce
a box jellyfish's box
a Chiko roll
a Collingwood supporter
a Collingwood supporter with all their teeth
a cute, fuzzy koala, but it has chlamydia
a dangerous alcoholic
a decent fucking internet connection
a didgeridildo
a dingo actually stealing a baby
a dropbear viciously mauling the face off a tourist
a fair go
a five-litre goon bag
a foul-mouthed Brisbane beggar
a four-by-four full of dead backpackers
a fucken midget mate
a fucken scorcher of a day
a fucking a New Zealander
a girl called Shazza and a guy called Dazza
a glassy eyed Melbourne hipster
a goonbag
a Grant Hackett piano tipping rampage

a great white shark the size of my dick
a hairy vagina
a half-eaten packet of Tim Tams
a ham and cheese focaccia
a heat wave
a Japanese whaling operation
a jolly swagman
a kangaroo
a knife that's really a knife
a leathery looking tan
a limp dick in the mouth
a literal tornado of fire

a marsupial that shits cubes
a meat tray raffle
a Neighbors vs Home & Away death match
a Northern Territory News headline
a one way ticket to Manus Island
a pub with no beer
a redback under the dunny seat
a rerun of Kevin Rudd's apology speech
a scotch finger biscuit
a sensible gun control policy
a shortage of sand
a sick burnout
a single lamington
a six-point plan to stop the boats
a slab of VB and a pack of durries
a snap frozen homeless Canberran
a soggy Sao
a souther cross tattoo on your penis
a Southern Cross tattoo
a stingray barb
a stylish mullet
a suppository of wisdom
a taxi driver who speaks English and knows the way
a ute that will never be used to transport anything
a V8 engine revving
a visit to Wolf Creek
a war between two states over footy
a wet fart
a whole tours-worth of INXS' cocaine
Aboriginal human sacrifices
Aborigines getting their own back by convincing whites to eat anything by claiming that it's 'bush tucker'
accidental trespassing while playing Pokémon Go
accidentally actually getting a job
accidentally checking out your Dad's cock
actually attempting to smuggle budgies
actually dropping the kids off at the pool
actually taking pride in a poorly maintained '93 Commodore
actually voting below the line
ad's disguised as an A Current Affair story
adding a second rear spoiler to your Nissan Skyline, to get all the chicks
advancing Australia fair
advertisements
alcohol poisoning
all four prongs of an echidna's penis
all of the asylum seekers that Australia imprisons and treats like criminals
all the fat people in Ballarat
all the women who have slept with Sam Newman
Americanization
an after-Mardi Gras orgy
an angry group of misinformed feminists who make a petition to ban a video game from sale to prevent violence against wome
an ice cold can of shut the fuck up cunt
an intoxicated Aboriginal
an oversized item as a tourist attraction
an unaccompanied minor
an unexpected item in the bagging area
another football drug scandal
another John Farnham farewell concert
another new lead singer for INXS
asking for a 30 cent cone at McDonalds when you know they cost 50 cents
attempting self fellatio
Australia
Australia Day
Australia vs New Zealand
Australian eastern standard time
Australian history
Australian Idol
Bali belly
ball-by-ball commentary from Richie Benaud
banning cigarette commercials on TV
Bazza, Dazza, Shazza, Wazza and Pete
because our land is girt by sea
being 5 times more likely to develop skin cancer
being metrosexual
Ben Cousins drug dealer
big, fat, fluffy wombat sex
Bindi Irwin
Bindi Irwin's sex tape
binge drinking
Blinky Bill on acid
bloody oath!
blowing out a thong
boat people
boat people: Half boat, half human
Bob Hawke sculling a beer
body surfing with Harold Holt
bogans
bonding over tips and trick for abusing Centrelink payments
breaking stereotypes by sniffing petrol as a white man
breast feeding in public
bringin back the biff

Brisbane floods
budgie smugglers
budgie smugglers
burning your ass on a hot slide in summer
bush biscuits
buying a 4WD only to drive around the city
calling as many cousins as your phone credit will allow
calling it ShittyRail
cane toad sex
cashed up bogans
casual racism
casually racist politicians
catching your Dad wanking
Centrelink
Cheez TV
Chevrolet badges on Holdens

children overboard
Christmas Island
Christmas Island; Santa's summer home
chucking a uey
chunks of dead backpacker
claiming Russel Crowe as an Aussie
classic Aussie beer TV
Clive Palmer twerking

coffee-drinking Melbournian Hipsters
compulsory voting
convicts
Coon™ cheese
coppers that actually respect people

Corey Worthington's shitty oversized sunglasses
cos Duncan's my mate!
Craig Thomson's credit card
Crocodile Dundee's Knife
crumbs all over the bloody carpet
cum
cumming from the land down under
cunts fucked
Cyclone Tracy
dairy farmers
Daryl Somers
David Boon
daylight savings
dead diggers
diggers
dirty nappies
dodgy buidlers
doing a Harold Holt
doing everything possible to sabotage the NBN since it's already in your area
doing mad burnout in your Holden ute
dooin' it up the bum
drawing a cock on your mates back with sunscreen while they are tanning in summer
drawing dicks on the ballot paper
drinking Fosters ironically
drinking from sunrise to sunset
drinking VB at a party because there is nothing else to drink
dripping vagina juice into a ANZAC biscuit mix
Drop Bears
dropping a huge fart in the middle of a 69er
drunk Karl Stefanovic

eating a dick
eating the animals on the coat of arms
Echidna semen
Ello mate
embarrassing Australia on the international stage
enough Aeroguard to suffocate a dog
exterminating the Tasmanian Devil
farting in public
fat bogan's who flash their tits
fiery poops
finally apologizing to the stolen generation
Flies Lots of flies

flirting with Gina Reinhart
footy mate!
fucking a backpackers dried desert corpse
fucking Telstra
gagging on pubic hair
getting a HECS debt then moving overseas
getting a poorly done southern cross tattoo
getting a ride to school on a kangaroo
getting a supermarket mud cake for your birthday
getting caught sucking dick
getting drunk and passing out on your hot sister while grabbing her boobs
getting drunk and throwing up on an Australian flag
getting glassed
getting hit in the stomach with a football and comparing it to death
getting into a fight at the pub, and being best mates 10 minutes later
getting introduced to drugs by a giraffe in a van
getting locked up in Alf Stewart's rape dungeon
getting married, having a few kids, buying some stuff, retiring to Queensland and dying
getting naked and watching Play School
getting so angry that you pop a stiffy
giving a great white shark a cuddle
glassing a wanker
Glen McGraths dead wife
going down-under
going on a "world tour" and leaving Australia out
going to Bunnings just for the sausage sizzle
going to Kmart at 3am
Golden Gaytimes
good-natured, fun-loving Aussie racism
halal Vegemite
half a kilo pure China White heroin
half a packet of mouldy Winfield Blues
Hamish and Andy sleeping together
Harold Holt swimming lessons
have sex on top of Uluru
having 9 out of 10 of the most venomous snakes in the world
having a cute pet name for your penis
having a shag in the back of the ute
having a thyroid problem
having more sheep than people
helicopter enthusiast Bronwyn Bishop
hiding your Bubble O' Bill from your greedy siblings
Home & Away
hoons
hoping for "GTA:Strata" to be released
horses dying during the Melbourne Cup
ice
inciting physical violence to show support for my sports team
inciting racially motivated violence
independent Senator Nick Xenophon
Indian doctors
inserting a jam jar into your anus
invasion day
iSnack 2.0
it's a fucking prawn not a shrimp!
iunironically enjoying the taste of VB
Ivan Milat's love for killing backpackers
Jackie O's saggy tits
Jehovah's witnesses
Jimmy Barnes' long lost love child
John Howard with Alzheimer's
John Howard's eyebrows
Julia Gillard in a seductive pose
Julia Gillard's deliberately barren womb
kangaroos in their natural state: roadkill
Kath and Kim
keeping our country whiter than bleach
keeping your money in a kangaroo scrotum purse
Kevin 07
Kevin Rudd
killer magpies
Kyle Sandilands
Kylie Minogue
Kylie Minogue's tiny golden hotpants
laughing at people who follow the A-League
leaving the pub when it's almost your shout
literally shitting on the ground like an animal
losing your Centrelink money on the pokies
losing your virginity at 15 and not being kissed until you're 24
love it or leave it
low range drink driving
lying to Centrelink to get more money
LYNX Body Spray
Maccas
Madge from Neighbours
making out with Skippy
making up for centuries of oppression with one day of apologising
Malcolm Turnbull
manscaping
marsupials that fuck until they die
massive, widespread drought
masturbating during a show in the Sydney Opera House
matching best friend T-shirts
Melbourne
millions of cane toads
missing the last train and being forced to take a NightRider bus
Moira from Good Morning Australia
mooning the Queen
mould fairy bread
moving to Melbourne for some fucking decent coffee
mozzies the size of birds
Mr Squiggle, the Man from the Moon
My Kitchen Rules
nah, yeah
naked slip and slide
Ned Kelly's helmet
never being able to get the fucking boomerang to come back
not giving a shit about the Great Barrier Reef
not having a pub on every corner in a coutry town
not having Vegemite in the cupboard
not knowing if "chips" means hot chips or potato chips
not so casual racism
not throwing away your fruit at the border
nothing but sand
nto so classy sideboob
Olivia Newton-John's facelift
One Nation
one thousand redback spiders!
only voting to avoid the fine
openly gay Labor Senator Penny Wong
opportunistic racist Senator Pauline Hanson
ordering the cocktail in a bogan pub
oversoming racial tensions by standing in line together at Centrelink
P Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney
paedophiles
Paul Hogan
pavlova topped with cum
penis butter
people from Tasmania
people smuggling
Peta Credlin
Phar Laps heart
picking the fruit that goes to Cottees
pingers
pissing in the water at a crowded beach because the line for the toilet was way too long
pissing off a truck driver
playing bingo with Nanna and beating her
playing silly buggers
please explain?
preferring Fords over Holdens
pretending Aboriginals don't exist
pretending not to be homophobic at the Sydney Mardi Gras
pretending to fill out job applications
pretending we invented pavloca because fuck New Zealand
privatising Medicare
profound respect and appreciation for indigenous culture
promoting Queensland to the Asians
pussy
putting Beetroot on a hamburger
putting your prawn on the barbie
Queen Elizabeth's immaculate anus
raping a platypus
realising you're actually the minority in your suburb
receiving a dick pic from a member of the Australian Cricket team
reciting Chris Lilley quotes at least 5 times a day
red fucking dog
redbacks, funnel webs, and a blue ringed octopus!
referring to soccer as football
reliable public transport
religiously listening to the Hottest 100
restoring the monarchy
riding a kangaroo for transport
riding in a kangaroo's pouch
right-hand driving cars
Rolf Harris
Rolf Harris
running someone over in an ute
Rupert Murdoch's new 18 year old Asian wife
Russell Crowe's shitty band
saltwater crocodiles
saying one thing before the election and then doing the opposite afterwards
scalping the Milkybar Kid
sculling a beer
secretly agreeing with Pauline Hanson
seeing how many BIC lighters you can fit in your butt
selling Australian land to the Asians
selling your fish and chip shop to some Vietnamese and fucking off to the UK
semen stains on a movie theatre chair
Shane Warne
shenanigans
shit sweat between your ass cheeks
shouting "AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE. OI OI OI" at inappropriate moments
sitting on an echidna
six months at the Christmas Island Immigration Detention Centre
skidmarks in your Mums undies
Skippy the Bush Kangaroo
Slim Dusty
Slip-Slop-Slap
smelling your own fart under a doona
smoking cones in the back of a ute while listening to the footy on the radio
some bloody peace and quiet
somehow not getting bored watching the cricket
Sorry, this content cannot be viewed in your region
South Australia
spending more money customising a car than you did buying it
spending two hours abusing the opal card system to save $3

spiders that eat snakes
spiders that jump
squeezing Lara Bingle's boobs
stabbing cunts
Steve Bradbury
Steve Irwin
Steve Irwin's memorial
stoned Koalas
stop the boats
Straya Day cunt
Stuart Divers holiday house in the snow
sucking dick
summoning Harold Holt from the sea in a time of great need
swapping your friend's VB with actual piss
taking a sheep-wife
Tasmania
tearing down fibro with your bare hands
telling Marge the rain's are 'ere!
telling Steve Irwin not to go swimming on that fatal day
telling strangers that a snake bit you on the cock and you need them to suck out the poison
telling the kids that you are about to call Santa
telling the kids, the ice cream man is out ice cream when he is playing music
telling your wife her ass is getting big
Telstr's Indian call centre staff
that dance you do after you step in a patch of bindis
that half-heartred smile the top-less dancer gives you as you tuck another $10 into her G-string as she pays her way through u
dances because Centrelink cut off her payments for no reason
the 33% of Australian marriages that end in divorce
the ABC
the Aboriginal community
the absolute worst sack of goon you can find
the Adelaide Crows
the ANZACs
the Australian fast bowler
the Australian Labor Party
the Australian Sex Party
the awkward moment when you find out that poor people do drive cars
the Bananas in pyjamas
the Belangalo State Forest
the big fucking hole in the ozone layer
the Big Pineapple
the boxing kangaroo
the Bunnings sausage sizzle moving to Wednesday's
the bush
the Carbon Tax
the cool refreshing taste of Coca-Cola
the entire cast of Neighbors
the First Fleet
the first time you fingered a girl in year 10
the fuckwits who try to take out Skippy
the glorious box jellyfish
the gold rush of 1851 - 1859
the Greens
the Holden vs Ford battle
the home insulation fiasco
the housing bubble
The Liberal party
the Liberal Party's token minority
the local drunk Aboriginal
the opening verse of "What About Me" by Shannon Noll
the Parramatta Eels salary cap scandal of 2016

the politicians of Australia
the Port Arther massacre
the prizes on Paddle Pop sticks
the recession that we had to have
the Royal prank phone call
the RSPCA
the salty wasteland that is a Vegemite sandwich
the shit that comes out Christopher Pyne's mouth
the smart ass who knows every verse of the national anthem
the Steve Irwin stingray
the stolen generation
the Sydney Opera House
the Sydney Siege of 2014
the taste of a fart
the V8 Supercar championship
the White Australia Policy
thick Aussie accents
thinking of New Zealand as our own personal Canada
Tim Tam slammers
Todd Carney pissing into his own mouth
Tony Abbot's hot daughters
Tony Abbotts crusty Speedo's
Torres Strait Islanders
total control of the media
traditional land ownership
trying and failing to insult someone with the word cunt
trying to catch a brown snake
twenty tonnes of bat shit
twice Former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd
two-headed Tasmanians
tyring and failing to speed in your piece of shit ute
under boob sweat
unemployed people that don't want to work
unemployed West Australian miners
using a Coled bag to carry home your shopping from Woolworths
using your baby bomus to buy a new TV
Vaginamite
VB longneck bottles
vomiting into a kangaroo's pouch
waking up half-naked in a Macca's car park
wanking into a pool of children's tears
wanting to move to Victoria
watching SBS just for the chance of foreign nudity
waxing a guys back
wearing a green and gold tracksuit
wearing SPF 15 sunscreen because you don't give a fuck
wearing the wrong coloured footie scarf
wearing ugg boots to do the shopping
whale watching telling a little kid that you don't celebrate Halloween in Australia
what a kangaroo baby looks like in its pouch
what Daryl Braithwaite did to those horses
Whiskas Catmilk
wife beaters
winning $5 off a $4 scratchie
wiping her bum
women's undies
XXXX
ya mum
yeah, nah
your feral neighbours
your North Sydney mansion being reclaimed by the ocean
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Cards Against Bikini Bottom
A Spongebob Squarepants themed set sold by DIYCAH.
Our (unofficial) Spongebob Squarepants edition of CAH. Designed for ages 18+ Adult content.
Cards Against Bikini Bottom is loaded with references from the show, movies, and more !
Perfect for Spongebob and CAH fans. It will have the whole group laughing at the horrible and twisted answers you and your fr
with.
No longer available for purchase.
_____ was number one!
______ and ______ making love in Squidward's house while he wishes to die.
______ buddy!
______ is in there! Standing at the concession! Plotting their oppression!
______ prevents scurvy!

_______ + ______ = ______
_______ is big, scary, and pink.

______'s just standing there… Menacingly!
A pirate doesn't say "okey dokey then". A pirate says "______!"
A sweater made of ______.
After Sandy told Spongebob to stop telling hurtful jokes about Squirrels, he instead started telling jokes about _______.
Ah, Jellyfish fields. So peaceful. So quiet. Nothing is better than seeing ______ in their natural habitat.
All hail ______.
All the other crabs in the show are ______
Alright, it's true! I tricked you to get the Krabby Patty… but then you showed me ______! And now I realize… that's all I every r
And the secret formula for the Krabby Patty recipe is… ______.
And this time, there's gonna be so much ______ that he'll drown in it! DROWN IN IT!
Any particular reason you took your pants off? _______
Are you ______?
Are you feeling ______ now, Mr. Krabs?
Are you feeling it now, ______?
Are you, or have you ever been a ______?
Attention zoo patrons! ______ is on an emotional rampage! Please scream and run around in circles.
Before Spongebob made bubble buddy, he went through some options, such as ______ and ______.
Bold new taste. ______.
Bring it around ______ and it's gone.
Bubble Buddy has a new friend, ______ Buddy
But clap slow, 'cause remember… SHE'S A ______!
Call an astronomer, because ______ is OUT OF THIS WORLD!!!!
Can we say that ______ from Texas are dumb?
Could the world's greatest frycook do ______?
Dear Santa… what is my wish, you ask? All I want is for you to bring ______ to the people of Bikini Bottom.
Does this map look familiar to you, SpongeBob? "You mean it's just ______ taped to a piece of paper?"
Don't be ______, it's Christmas.
Don't be intimidated by ______. Just imagine them in their underwear. *Imagines* Oh no, they're hot!!
Don't bother showing up tomorrow. I'll just tell them you all died in a ______.
Drop on the deck and flop like a ______!
Dude, put ______ away. There are like, children here.
Dump everything that isn't about ______ and breathing.
Every night I lie awake in agony until ______ put(s) me to sleep.
Everything is ______ in the future!
F is for friends who do ______ together.
Firmly grasp ______ in your hand. Firmly grasp it… FIRMLY GRASP IT!
First you ______, spin around, STOP! Now double take three times. 1,2,3. And….______!
GAH I LOVE BEING ______!
GARY! YOU'RE GONNA EAT YOUR ______ AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!!!
Good afternoon, sir. Could we interest you in ______?
He burnt my ______.
Hello sir, could we interest you in some ______?
Here lies Squidward's ______.
Here, I made you a sweater. "It's a little itchy. What's this thing made of?" "______!"
Hey Pat! Guess what I am! Stupid? No, I'm ______!
Hey Patrick, I thought of something funnier than twenty-four… ______.
Hi ______, I'm gonna kick your butt.
Hi kids, I'm ______, president of the Spongebob Squarepants fan club
How about a glass of our finest ______?
How am I supposed to eat this without my ______!
How can there be ______ is we're underwater?
How many squirrels does it take to screw in a ______?
How to become ______ in less than 20 minutes.
HOW TOUGHT AM I? I HAD A BOWL OF ______ FOR BREAKFAST … without any milk.
I couldn't afford to get you anything, so I got you this ______. That's what i got you!
I do have ______! See! Here's a picture of it! "That must be actual size. Dahaha!" "NO, it's normal-sized and fully-functional!"
I got something funnier than 24? what? _______
I heard in times of hardship, the pioneers would eat ______.
I hope my ______ wont be a distraction to you.
I need … I need … a ______ because I ripped my ______!
I say we take ______ and push it somewhere else!
I still remember it. The day I lost my _______.
I wanna go ______.
I want you to empty your mind of everything that doesn't have to deal with ______ and breathing.
I'd hate you even if ______ was ______!
I'll have to move to a new city, start a new ______ with a nre name. No…not again.
I'll have you know, I once ______ and I only cried for 20 minutes.
I'm a goofy ______, yeah.
I'm doing the ______ … at night.
I'm going to show ______ to everybody in town!
I'm ready, I'm ready, I'm ______!
I'm starting to sympathize with Squidward. I also feel like every 11 minutes of my life is filled with ______.
I've heard they're making a new _______ movie.
I've soiled the good ______ name! SOILED IT! SOILED IT! SOILED IT!
If I had one dollar for every ______ you don't have, I'd have one dollar.
If I were to die right now in a fiery explosion due to ______, then that would just be okay.
If you touch the hooks you'll be trapped in a ______ with nothing but the smell of ______.
In a recent episode, Spongebob used a magic pencil to make a drawing of ______.
In an attempt to hide from Spongebob and Patrick, Squidward accidentally went back in time and invented ______.
In his most recent scheme, Plankton got the help of ______ to try and steal the Krabby Patty formula.
Instead of traditional swear words, Spongebob and friends will use terms like ______ and _______.
Insulting a man's ship be worse than ______.
Is _______ an instrument?
Is it time already to ruin Squid's ______ already?
Is that one _____? ______ is my favorite!
Is this the Krusty Krab? No, this is ______.

It took us three days to make that ______! THREE DAYS!!
It was his hat, Mr. Krabs! He was ______!
It's all about you, ______ on your sixteenth birthday.
It's not a boulder, it's ______!
Just go home, Patrick. You can compete in the _______ games!
Just loop de loop and pull, and you're ______ all looking cool
Look at me, I'm ______!
Look, he's been hiding ______ under his tongue the whole time…!
Magic Conch, what do we do now? ______
Man, if I see ______, I've got a few choice words for them, like "you"… and "are" … and … "a jerk!"
May I take your ______, sir?
Mr. Krabs newest get-rich-quick scheme involves ______ and ______.
My sensors detect that you are indeed ______. "What?! No I'm not!" You can't hide what's inside.
N is for ______ anytime at all, down here in the deep blue sea!
Name three steps you need to take in order to avoid a sea bear attack. _______, ______ and _______.
Next I suppose you'll want me to ______!
Next of Spongebob's list of fun things to do: ______!
No, this is _______.
Not a picket fence, you ding dong. A picket ______!
Oh Magic Conch Shell, what do we need to get out of the Kelp Forest? ______
Oh, I get it. So we shouldn't say anything bad about ______.
On, I can feel it, but do you wanna know what I'm feeling? … I'M FEELING LIKE ______!!
Once there was ______. It was so ugly that everyone ______. The end.
Only one thing… You forgot the ______!!
Patrick do you know what this is? Stinky? No, it's ______.
Patrick once sat on a _______.
Patrick Star is so dumb, he once made ______ instead of ______!
Patrick, that's a ______. You need a ______.
Patrick, your is ______ showing.
People from Texas are ______.
Perfect patties are made with ______, not _______.
Plankton! That's not what ______ is all about!
Put the ______ in the bag. PUT IT IN!

Ravioli, ravioli, give me the _______.
Remember, ______ is illegal on other planets.

Rev up those fryers cause I am sure hungry for ______.
So much later that the old narrator got tired of _______ and they had to hire a new one.
Sopongebob don’t you know who that is?! That's the ______ Strangler!
Spongebob got in trouble at Boating School after Patrick drew an unflattering image of ______.
SpongeBob is the only guy I know who could have fun with ______ …FOR TWELVE HOURS!!!
Spongebob loves holidays; especially ones he makes up. For example, last week was _______ day.
Spongebob, we're not cavemen! We have ______!
Squidward, in honor of employee brotherhood, I present to you a gift; ______.
Squidward, we don't need television. Not as long as we have ______.
Steppin' on the ______ doot doot doo do!
That guy is so rich he has ______ in his _______.
That hat makes you look like ______.
That isn't ______, that's the Health Inspector!
That thing is a ______ on a bun!
That's it, mister! You just lost your ______ privileges!
That's it? That's the lost episode? THAT WAS A BUNCH OF _______!
The best thing about new Spongebob is ______.
The best time to wear ______ is all the time!
The best time to wear a striped sweater is ______.
The first rule of shoe-tying is always start with ______.
The first step to going on strike is ______.
The follow-up to 'Squidward's Suicide' is about ______.
The inner machinations of my mind are _______.
The Invisible ______mobile!
The krabby patty secret formula contains ______.
The Krusty Crab instructional video stresses the importance of _______.
The last episode had Sqidward getting attacked by _______!
The most important rule for the artist at sea: Always bring _______.
The New Spongebob movie is ______.
The next Spongebob crossover will be an hour-long mashup, featuring the main cast of Spongebob, as well as ______ and __
The next Spongebob episode is titled "_____".
The secret formula is ______!

The secret ingredient of a Krabby Patty is ______!
The winters are ______, the summers are ______.
There's a wild ______-eating clam in the back yard.
They're not pies, they were made in a bomb factory. They're ______.
This Christmas feels like _______ to me!
Three signs of the Hash Slinging Slasher: 1). ______ 2). ______ 3). _______.
Today in the Bikini Bottom National Enquirer: I Married a ______.
U is for ______.
Wanna see me run around ______? Wanna see me do it again?
We enhanced the Krabby Patty with ______.
We should take ______ and move into ______.
We're not talking about some dumb mail fraud scheme or a hijacking here, WE STOLE A ______!!!!
Well maybe we wouldn't sound so bad if SOME PEOPLE didn't try to play with ______!
Well, look who it is. ______.
Well, there's your problem. You set it to M for ______ when you should have set it to W for ______.
What are they selling? ______
What do sunsets remind you of? ______
What does Mr. Krabs love most in the world? ______
What I learned in boating school is ______.
What is in Patrick's secret box? _______.
What is Spongebob's catchphrase? ______
What is Spongebob's secret fantasy? ______.
What is wrong with the newer seasons? ______.
What'd you do to my drink!? ______.
What's behind the secret compartment of my secret box? ______
What's for lunch today, Puff Mama? ______?
What's so great about dumb ol' _____?
When a giant worm came to Bikini Bottom, it took the combined efforts of Spongebob, Sandy, and ______ to finally get rid of it
When in doubt, ______ out.
Which one of you flatfoots stole my ______?
While taking his most recent boating test, Spongebob veered off the road and crashed into ______.
Who are Spongebob and Patrick's favorite superheroes? ______.
Who are you callin' ______?
Who lives in a ______ under the sea?
Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? ______!
Who wants ______ at 3 o'clock in the morning? Me: *Alarm rings" "Oh boy, 3am!"
Who was Spongebob's first ______?
Who would pay 25 cents to ______?
Why don't we take ______ and push it somewhere else?
Why don't we take ______, and dance?
Why must every second of my life be filled with ______.
Will our heroes ever get their ______ fixed? Tune in next week and find out.
Will you please stop leaving your ______ on my front lawn?
Ya know, ______ is like a bucket of wood shavings. Unless it's in a pail. Then, it's like a pail of wood shavings?
You could get in the salty spitoon for _______.
You don’t need a license to ______.
You like ______, don't you, Squidward?
You promised those kids _______ but all I saw was ______.
You wanna know a secret ______!
You'll never catch me, Krabs, not when I shift into ______!
You'll never guess what I found in my sock last night! Go ahead, guess! ______
You're pure evil, just like ______.
Your a ______ idiot Patrick.
*dolphin noise*
*Imaginaaaation*
1% Evil, 99% Hot Gas
11 minutes later
2 giant paint bubbles
A "Help Wanted" sign
A $40 VALUE!
A 7 mile spanking machine
A board game based on a treasure map
A bomb hitting your lower intestine
A bowl of nails without any milk
A bowl of onions
A box of Kelpo
A bunch of Squidwards
A burnt milkshake
A bus going up at a 90° angle.
A crab somehow giving birth to a whale
A dirty, stinky, rotten friend stealer
A Double Triple Bossy Deluxe on a raft, 4x4, animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, mak
and let it swim
A drop of paint on Mr. Krab's dollar
A empty box
A flying ice cream truck
A fried boot
A fucking giant pineapple under the sea
A giraffe
A glass of our finest shampoo
A heart attack on a bun
A hydro-dynamic spatula with port and starboard attachments and turbo-drive
A krabby patty
A Krabby Patty addiction
A Krabby Patty with extra onions
A krabby patty with jelly
A krabby patty wthout cheese
A Krusty Krab pizza
A magic pencil's potential sexual uses
A naughty snail who won't take a bath
A new handsome face
A nice cereal box
A paperclip and a piece of string
A robotic suit of your enemy
A rogue doodle beating up Squidward
A round snow angel
A sea bear
A seanut butter and jellyfish jelly sandwich
A second krusty krab
A snow double-helix
A sofa
A squirrel in a spacesuit
A sticky, white substance which, upon closer inspection, might be mayonnaise
A string
A suitcase full of rocks
A Sunday that gives you bad breath
A sweater made of eyebrows
A tailor
A worthless piece of paper
Abutterfly trapped in a bubble that somehow manages to terrorizes an entire town
Advanced darkness
Almost dying of dehydration
An Alaskan Bull-Worm aka what I call my penis
An Anti-Seabear circle
An awesome clarinet solo
An embarrassing photo of Spongebob at the Christmas party
An expensive haircut
An explosive pie
An ice cream-induced hangover
An idea that might just be crazy enough… TO GET US ALL KILLED!
An insane thirst for dick
An old folks home filled with raspberry juice
An underrepresentation of female characters
Anchovies that go "meep"
AND THE NEXT DAY
AND THE NEXT DAY
AND THE NEXT DAY
AND THE NEXT DAY
Angry anal sex with Mr.Krabs
Annoy Squidward Day
Asking for water
Asking the magic conch
Bag of winds
Barnacle boy
Barnacles
Beating up old people
Being a goofy goober
Being bald and having a big nose and a small penis
Being Employee of the month from age 16 until death
Being in sandy's tree dome without water
Being men with seaweed as mustaches
Being smeckledorfed
Being so ugly that everyone dies

Being trapped in cement aka rock hard
Being ugly and proud
Being voted Most Likely to Suck Eggs in high school
Best day ever
Best friends forever rings
Betting your fry cook
BFF cock rings
Big, meaty claws
Big, meaty claws wrapped around your penis
Bikini got back
Blankity blankity blank
Blow
Blowing bubbles
Blowing bubbles or Blowing more than bubbles
Boomerang Pet Ball
Bring dat ass here
Bring it around town
Bubble bass
Bubble buddy
Bubble Buddy's bdsm fantasies

Bubbles
Building a fire underwater
Bun, then patty, followed by ketchup, mustard, pickles, EXTRA ONIONS, lettuce cheese, tomatoes and bun. In that order.
Buns and Thighs
Burning your hand because that ass is so fire
Buying a giant TV just to play in the box
Caveman spongebob
Cheapy the cheapskate
Cheese head brown pants
Chip
Chocolate that you rub on your skin and it makes you live forever
Chocolate?
Chocolate?!
CHOCOLATE! CHOCOLAAAAAAAAATE!
Clam wrestling
Clarry (Squid's Clarinet)
Coin-operated self-destruction
Coral blue #2
Cursing on a kid's show
Davey Jone's locker
Daytime television
Dennis
Diet Dr. Kelp
Dirty dan
Doing hall monitor duty
Doing it like how the pioneers do it
Doing practically nothing for an entire episode

Doodlebob
Drink
Ear-wrenching vocals
Eating a krabby patty
Eating hundreds of snowballs
EDUCATIONAL TELEVISION
Electric Zoo
Failing your driving test 57. err. 58 times
Felling it now
Fighting a giant clam
Finding out that "Atlantis Squarepantis" is a musical
Finding someone with a job to do that job
Finding the hay in the needle stack
Fine dining… fine dining and breathing
Finishing those errands
FINLAND!
Firmly grasping the net
Fish paste
Flats kicking your butt
Flatts
Forgetting how to tie your own shoes
Forgetting the pickles
Free ice cream
Fresh Chum Bucket brand chum
Friends
Fuck
Fucking a Krabby Patty
Gary
Gary the Snail
Gary's condescending meow
Gary's snail trail
Getting a horrible splinter on your vagina lip
Getting addicted to Krabby Patties like how people get addicted to crack
Getting hit in the head with a coconut
Getting into Mr. Krabs's shell
Giant monstrous krabby patties
Giving gary a bath
Giving up farming to be a sailor, then giving up sailing to be a human cannonball
Glove world
Glove World? # 1 condom supplier under the sea
Glove-flavoured condoms from Glove World
Gloves for my glove action figure
Going on a date with a lady older than time itself
Going onm a date with a whale
Going to the beach and getting Sandy Cheeks
Going weast
Gold team
Goo Lagoon
Goofy Goobers
Grandma's cookies
Had a 3some BEST DAY EVER!
Hall monitor
Handsome squidward
Happy, hopping moron day
Having diaherra underwater
Having no soul
Having the suds
Having virtual sex with your computer wife
Hibernation related rape
Hiding the pickles
Homemade peas-in-a-can pie
HOOPLA!
Horseradish
Hot sauce bubbles… right to the eyes
I am not a Krusty Krab
I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEED IT
I'm absorbing his blows like I'm made of some sort of spongy material!
I'm ready!
Inflatable pants
Invisible spray
Is Mayonnaise an instrument
It's not just a boulder… it's a rock!
It's not just a boulder… it's a rock!
Janet and Marty
Jellyfish
Jellyfishing
Jellyfishing with the net in your anus
Kah-rah-tay
Karen and the things she's learned how to do from PornHub
Karen the computer wife
Kevin the sea cucumber
Killing the health inspector
King Neptune
Knocking on a door to say "I love you "
Krabby Land
Krabby Patties
Krabby patties are made out of Crab
Krusty Krab Funfair
KRUSTY KRAB UNFAIR MR KRABS IS IN THERE STANDING AT THE CONCESSION PLOTTING HIS OPPRESSION
Larry the Lobster's severe steroid problem
Learning how to open a jar
LEEDLE LEEDLE LEEDLE LEE
Leif Erickson Day
Licking doorknobs on other planets
Literal championship boxing
Literally living under a rock
Losing your nametag
Major Stupidity and General Nonsense
Making bubble art
Man ray
Man Ray and The Dirty Bubble's gay wedding
Mayonaise
Me first dime
Membership into the exclusive club, "The Jellyspotters"
Mermaid Man
Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy fucking in the invisible boatmobile
Mermaid man's belt
Mini
Missing the bus
MOAR
Moar Krabs
Money!
Moving away to live among the jellyfish
Mr. Krab's special sauce dripping down your chest
Mr. Krabs saves all his money so he can buy whores
Mr. Krabs saves all his money so he can buy whores
Mr. Krabs' first dime
Mr. Squidward
Mrs. Puff
Mrs. Puff getting double stuffed
Murdering the health inspector
My best friend Squidward in a salmon suit
My leg
Mystery the seahorse
NAME AND ADDRESS WITHHELD
Needless torturing Squidward
Nematodes
No, Gary, I like wearing my underwear like this
Nobody wearing shoes
Normalized spongebob
Not having a nose. But having 2 dicks
Not your average everyday darkness, but advanced darkness
Old man jenkins
Old man Jenkins love of children. Ewww
One ice cubes instead of two
Opposite day
Outstanding achievement in achievement
P.O.O.P.
Patchy the pirate
Patchy, the lonely virgin who dresses up as a pirate
Patrick
Patrick in drag
Patrick making your bed rock
Patrick square pants
Patrick's affinity for anal fisting
Patrick's dream
Patrick's pet rock
Patrick's think unwashed pubes
Patrick's wallet
Pearl
Pearl with a strapon
Pearl's deep throat
Penny, chip and used napkin
Pies. That are made in a factory. A bomb factory. They're bombs
Pin head
Pinhead Larry and Dirty Dan Roleplay in the bedroom
Plankton
Plankton licking your butthole
Plankton's millions of redneck relatives
Plankton's record player
Playing "hooky" at the carnival
Playing leap frog with gary
Playing with a leaf blower's sucking setting
Potty the parrot
Preparing for hibernation
Pretending to drown
Pretty patties
Purple
Putting a fucking useless card in a spongebob deck
Ravioli, ravioli, give me the formuloli
Realizing as you grow up you're turning into Squidward
Realizing bikini bottom is where they tested the nukes
Rebuilding spongebob's house
Repeatedly missing the bus even though you have the schedule
Rick
Ripping your pants
Robo krabs
Robot Pirate Island
Rock bottom
Rock bottom Literally and figuratively
Root beer
Run like you're not in a coma!
Salads instead of krabby patties

Sandy
Sandy Cheeks rule 34
Sandy's really into breathplay
Sandy's squirrel titties
Sandy's Treedome
Saying "leedle leedle leedle lee"
Screaming "CHOCOLATE!!!"
Secret messages in bubbles
Selling Painted (probably tainted) meat
Serving as a sex slave on The Flying Dutchman
Setting it to Wumbo
Shake that bubble butt!
Shell City
Shifting into maximum overdrive
Shouting "DEEUUUGGGGHHH"
Shouting "ME HOY MINOY"
Smitty Werbenjagermanjensen
Snady's rocket
Sneaking an erection past the censors
SpongeBob
Spongebob doesn't have hair… or does he?!
Spongebob is a bottom
Spongebob love of "mayonnaise"
Spongebob spying on Squidward late a night
SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANTS
Spongebob's extra sweet cum from living in a pineapple

Spongebob's grandma
Spongebob's pants are square to hide his massive dick
Spongebob's parents
Spongebob's penis nose
Spongebob's pioneer dance
Spongebob's soft, spongy, penis constantly disappointing Patrick
Spongegar
Spongetron's metallic penis
Squeaky boots
Squidward
Squidward picking up a drug habit to deal with Spongebob
Squidward snapping and shooting up the Krusty Krab
Squidward with is clarinet wedged up his ass
Squidward's "unsure" face
Squidward's amatuer pron carrer
Squidward's art
Squidward's clarinet music
Squidward's constant anxiety that Spongebob will burst in while he's masturbating
Squidward's dance moves
Squidward's hopes and dreams
Squidward's impenetrable snow fort
Squidward's records
Squidward's secret love for krabby patties
Squilliam Fancyson
Squilliam's unibrow
Stadium rave
Stealing a balloon on National Free Ballon Day
Stepping on the beach doo doo doo doo
Sticking a coin in a seahorse's ass
Subliminal messages
Super Weenie Hut Jrs
Swabbing the bathroom AT NIGHT
Sweet victory
Taking one for the team and fucking the ugly one so everybody gets some
Taking out the trash AT NIGHT
Tartar sauce
Tartar sauce
Technology
Telling her size doesn't matter
Telling her to firmly grasp it
Telling sandy to bring her cheeks over here you have a nut for her
Tentacle Acres
Tentacle porn starring Squidward
Texas
That blue fish with the white shirt and red shorts
That smelly smell that smells…smelly
The blue jellyfish
The campfire song song
The can opener
The Cum Bucket
The Dirty Bubble
The epic performance of Squidward's band at the Bubble Bowl
The essay pencil
The flying dutchman
The Flying Dutchman's greasy ghost beard tickling your taint
The fool who ripped his pants
The fry cook games
The Giant Cyclops
The hand slinging slasher
The Haunted Matress
The heat lamp of DEATH!
The invisible boatmobile
The iron butt
The Krusty Krab
The Krusty Krab Pizza
The krusty krab training video
The league of super acquaintances
The Magic Conch
The moment you realize Spongebob and Patrick are gay
The moment you realize the bubbles they blow are a metaphor for cigarettes
The most secrety secret in all of secretdom
The musical doodle
The negative effects of being a hooker under the sea
The next bus to bikini bottom
The orb of confusion
The panyt raid
The Patty Wagon
The poop loop
The poor motherfucker who has to live under a rock
The ravioli song
The Rkrabby Patty secret formula
The salty spitoon
The secret box
The Secret Krabby Patty Formula
The semi-medium-easy-hard way
The soda drinking hat
The song that goes beeb boo boo bop boo boo bop
The sorta hard with a touch of awkward-easy-difficulty-challenging way
The Suds
The Tattle-tale Strangler
The Thirteen Bad Words (of which all are stock sound effects)
The ugly barnacle's sad existence
The world's smallest violin
This one guy, who knew this guy who knew this guy who knew this guy …
Those God forsaken Squeaky boots
Those god-damn squeaky boots
Three more words
Tire pressure
Too much sauce
Too much Spongebob/Squidward fanfiction
Touching everything in the jellyfish museum
Trying to fuck a jellyfish
Trying to sell me something
Trying to steal the recipe for a burger your entire life
Turning into a snail
Two bathrooms, one labeled "?" and the other "¿",
Two giant paint bubbles!
Two naked guys fighting over a can of paint
Two sweaters; one made of eyelashes and another made of tears
Underwear that started out white and are now yellow
Using Squidward's clarinet to unclog my toilet
Using the Wumbo setting to fix your "insecurities"
Walking in on your best friend, your ex-best friend, and… some rubber bath toys
Washing an old man
We're in Squidward's body. No wonder it smells funny in here
Wearing three pairs of underwear
Wearing two krusty krab hats
Weenie hut Jr.'s
Wormy
Wrestling shirtless with your best friend
Wumbo
Wumbology, the study of wumbo
You're sitting on my body, which is also my face
Your bubble fuckbuddy
Special Set
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Cards Against Halloween
https://www.etsy.com/listing/546110514/cards-against-halloween-the-original
A Halloween themed set of cards that were briefly sold on Etsy by seller CardsAgainstDIY.
Editor Note: Cards are presented here as they appeared in the PDF that was sold. Any mistakes (grammar, spelling,
punctuation, duplicarte cards, etc.) are theirs.
______ and ______ are this years hottest couples costumes.
______ and ______ are this years hottest couples costumes.

______ caught in the middle of a zombie apocalypse.
______ Goes in, ______ comes out. YOU CAN'T EXPLAIN THAT!
______ is a tough thing to come by these days.

______ is bad.
______ is not similar to ______.

______ is the ghost story that sends chills down my spine.
______ made me pee my pants from sheer terror.
______ makes a great accessory to any costume.
______ on the lawn. That's how I scare the kids shitless on Halloween.
______ went on a killing spree wearing a ______ mask.
______ will haunt my dreams tonight.
______. Best Halloween costume.
______. Do not feed after midnight. And don't get them wet.
______. Is definitely getting chiseled on your tombstone.
______. It's magic.

______. That's how I'd like to die.
______. That's what I want written on my tombstone.
______. The stuff of nightmares are made of.
______. Worst. Costume. Ever.
A ______ comes across the sky… If you say "______!" in a mirror four times, a ______ jumps out.
A boy's best friend is _______.
A census taker once tried to test me. I kept ______.
A true goth look would be incomplete without black lipstick, eyeliner, and ______.
A witch cast a spell on me, and now I'm ______.
Accidentally being buried in the graveyard just for ______.
According to a tweet by Leigh Alexander, gamers are worse than ______.
Ahhh! I'm lost in a corn maze shaped like ______.
AI's next convoluted plan involves teaching ______ to ______.
Aliens are probably responsible for ______.
All Hallow's Eve become a night of frolic, where children wear ______ and run amok!
All Hallow's Eve has been cancelled this year due to ______.
All I got in my trick-or-treat bag is ______.
All work and no ______ makes Jack a dull boy.
All work and no play makes Jack a _______.
And the award for best costume goes to ______.
AND THEN A ______ POPPED OUT!
And to cast my first spell, I say the magic words: ______.
And what are you dressed as, little one? ______
As I gaze into my crystal ball, I see no ______ in your future.
As the blood oozed from my fatal wound, I utter my last words: ______.
At last! We have foiled Satan's plan to take over the world with ______!
At the Halloween party, they served ______-flavored jello shots.
Attack of the killer ______s!
Awww… ______ scared away all the trick-or-treaters!
Best couples costume ever. ______ and ______.
Bobbing for apples? Boring. Bobbing for ______! That's a true Halloween game!
Cause this it thriller, thriller night, And no one's gonna save you from ______.
Cause this it Thriller, Thriller night. And nothing's gonna save you from the ______ about to strike!
Charlie Brown's "The Great ______", a reboot.
Coming to Theaters this Halloween. The scariest movie in ages. ______ ______.
Costume? Check. Trick-or treat pail? Check. ______?Check.
Describe your feelings for Halloween in one card. ______.
Did you hear? ______ was tickle tortured to death.
Disney's newest Halloween movie is about a young girl trying to defeat ______ on Halloween.
Do I look sexy in this ______ costume?
Do they look like psychos? Is that what they look like? They were ______!
Do you have to die to find ______?
Do you know how hard it was to make this ______ costume!?
Don't ever judge someone for ______. It's genetic, not a choice.
Don't shoot yourself. Don't shoot each other. And especially don't shoot ______.
Don't you dare say"______" thrice in the mirror.
Double Double, ______ and trouble.
Dressing up as ______ for the company Halloween party was ill-advised.
Drink from me, And begin an eternity of ______.
Dude, I told you that I was wearing the ______ costume. Why did you have to copy me again this year?
Everybody knows that all ______ die in horror movies.
Eye of newt and toe of ______, wool of bad and tongue of ______.
Final Destination 12: ______.
For a last second costume spray yourself with caulk and roll around in dirt, rocks, and grass clippings and go as ______.
For the last time! Vampires don't sparkle, they are not ______, and they certainly don't have ______.
For the witch's brew to work, we will need a frong, eye of newt, and ______.
Forget Christmas; Jack Skellington's now set his sights on taking over ______.
Forget razors in candies. This Halloween, parents need to be on the lookout for ______ in candies.
Frankenstein vs the ______.
Frankenstein was in for a rude awakening when his wife came home complaining about ______.
Frankenstein's Monster vs the ______!
Gather 'round! It's time to bob for ______.
Get away from her, you _______.
Good Ash, bad Ash. I'm the guy with ______.
Halloween is ______.
Halloween is the only time of year that you can summon ______.
Halloween would be great if it weren’t for ______.
Have you guys heard of the scary story where ______ kills ______.
Having sex in a graveyard? Nah, son, I'll be fucking on ______.
Help me, officer, I'm being chased by a man dressed as ______!
Help me, officer! I'm being chased by a man dressed as ______.
Here's our zombie escape plan. 1. ______. 2. ______.
Hey guys, what should I go as for Halloween? ______
Hey, I heard the last house on the right is giving away ______.
Hi, I'm ______. Wanna play?

How to be spooky 101.
Lesson One: ______.
I ain't afraid of no ghosts, but I AM afraid of ______.
I almost dressed up as Spiderman, but went with Plan B: ______, instead.
I always end up ______ for the Lord!
I am, what psychiatrists call, ______.
I can't lie to you about ______, but…you have my sympathies.
I cannot believe that ______ has the same costume as me.
I carved my pumpkin to look like ______.
I don't understand how anyone could dislike ______. It's the best part of Halloween!
I drew a pentagram, and all I managed to summon was ______.
I expected trick-0r-treaters, but instead, when I opened my door, I saw ______!
I get this ache… And I, I thought it was for ______, but it's to tear everything to pieces.
I got good news and bad news girls. The good news is we're ______.
I had to change the channel when I saw ______ on American Horror Story.
I hate ______ at Halloween.
I hate it when people give out ______ instead of candy on Halloween.
I have come here to chew bubblegum and start ______; and I'm all out of bubblegum.
I just bought a paranormal romance novel about a woman and ______.
I kneew that they were an amazing person since the moment I first saw their ______ costume.
I knew I would fall in love with her the moment I saw her ______ costume.
I know you gentlemen have been through a lot, but when you find the time, I'd rather not spend the rest of this winter tied
to ______.
I like scary things, but I draw the line at ______.
I like to end Halloween with ______.
I love scary things, but I draw the line at ______.
I never expected to find a sexy ______ costume.
I put a spell on you, and now you're ______.
I ran out of candy, so I had to start handing out ______.
I sacrificed ______ to Satan and I got was this lousy ______!
I said, I'm not gonna hurt ya. I'm just ______.
I screamed and slammed the door when I saw someone dresses as ______.
I spent eight years trying to reach him, and then another seven trying ______.
I think that ______ made a nice addition to the haunted house.
I want to stab you to death, and then play around with your ______.
I was excited to find out I was a lycanthrope, but all excitement drained from me when I realized I was just a were_____.
I was too scared for The Haunted House, so I used ______ as an excuse.
I was working in the lab, late one night, When my eyes beheld an eerie sight: ______.
I wish it was Halloween everyday! said, ______.
I wouldn't be caught dead dressing as ______ this year. It is SO overdone.
I'd say I'm a pretty darn good father. My father tried to eat me, I don't remember trying to ______ my kid.
I'll bet living in ______ takes all the fun out of Halloween.
I'll trade you one chocolate ______ for your gummy ______.
I'm concerned about my son. He just carved a picture of ______ into a pumpkin.
I'm dressing up as a Teenage mutant Ninja _____!
I'm not superstitious, but I never step on ______, or I'll break my momma's back.
I'm not superstitious, but if ______ ever crosses your path, you get seven years bad luck.
I'm secretly terrified of _______.
I'm so sick of people stealing my costume ideas. I was supposed to be ______!
I'm stuck in a cabin with an axe murderer and all I have is ______!
I'm the guy that's gonna save ______.
I'm writing a story where whenever a Vampire see the sun they become ______.
I've got it. It was ______, in the kitchen, with the ______!
I've seen enough horror movies to know any ______ wearing ______ is never friendly.
I've seen enough horror movies to know that any weirdo wearing a mask is never _______.
If Halloween is the best holiday, what's the second best? ______ Day.
If I had a supernatural power, what would it be?
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd start ______. I think we'll start with _____.
If I was a ghost, I would haunt ______.
If only it was the picture that was to grow old, and I remain ______.
If you didn't kill him, then who did, sir? "Who can say. Best thing for him really. His ______ was going nowhere."
If you don't enjoy _____ you don't truly love Halloween.
In M. Night Shyamalan's newest movie, the protagonist is actually ______.
Instead of a wolf I turn into ______ during the Full Moon.
Instead of a wolf, I turn into ______ during the full moon.
Instead of Candy, my neighbor gave me______ when I went trick-or-treating.
Instead of razor blades, kids have been finding ______ in their candy.
It is said the Headless Horseman comes to collect ______ each year on Halloween.
It rubs the ______ on its skin or else it gets ______ again.
It was odd. I don't need to worry about Freddy Krueger. When he see's ______ in my dreams he will be the one running
scared.
It's ______, Charlie Brown!
It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good ______!
It's Halloween, everyone's entitled to one good ______.
Jason Voorhees was brought back from the dead by ______.
Jigsaw's new murderous puzzle involves ______.
Lady Saline's newest spell can summon ______!
Leatherface lost his chain saw and now uses ______.
Lions and tigers and ______, oh my!
Love means never having to say you're ______.
M&M's is trying new ______ flavored candy for this Halloween.
Man the new haunted house sucked ass, the only scary thing there was ______.
Me and my friend went on a haunted hay ride and she got scared by ______, which I thought was hilarious until I got
scared by ______.
Meats meat, and a man's ______.
Mmmmmm…Pumpkin-flavored ______!
My ______ costume proved to be a huge hit at the ______ party!
My costume this year is a mix of _______ and ______.
My family could of got me a costume of Iron Man, Batman or someone cool, but no. They got me ______ Man.
My favorite scary movie is ______, starring Michael Cera and a wooden shoe.
My favorite scary movie is "Deathcicle", starring ______ as the abominable snowman.
My favoritre episode of The Twilight Zone is about ______.
My friends and I are doing a group costume based on ______.
My halloween decorations theme this year is ______.
My house is haunted by the ghost of ______.
My pumpkin bears an eerie resemblance to ______. It's uncanny.
My true nightmare is ______.
Never say 'who's there'! Don't you watch scary movies? It's a death wish. You might as well be ______.
Never say, "______". It's a death wish.
No tears please, it's a waste of ______.
No, you haven't been ______, and you're not in control.
Nothing beats a haunted ______ on All Hallow's Eve.
Now that Bear has found Nora, He has a new obsession; ______!
Now that Billy tried ______, do you think Sid would go out with me?
Of all the Halloween treats, ______ gives me the best sugar rush.
Oh great, now a pitchfork-wielding mob is here to run ______ out of town.
Oh man, you'll never guess what's on sci-fi. A movie called ______: ______.
Oh no! Mila's new personality is ______! T
Oh? You got a letter? I got ran over, Helen gets ______ and Julie gets ______ and you get a letter?
On Halloween I like to dress up as ______ and scare all the kids in the neighborhood.
One thing about living in Santa Clara I never could stomach: ______.
One-stop shopping: ______, right at your fingertips.
Only HARDCORE Halloween fans know ______.
Only on Halloween is it normal to see ______.
Perhaps dressing up as ______ for the company Halloween party was ill-advised.
Pinhead. Jason Vorhees. Frankenstein. Fuck all that! ______ is more scary than any of them to me!
Plan 10 from Outer Space involves using _____ to fight ______.
Police intervention convinced me that handing out ______ for Halloween was not a good idea.
Potion seller, giive me your finest ______.
Pumpkin spice ______? Now they've gone too far.
Pumpkin spice is so five minutes ago. The latest trend for fall is ______ flavored things.
R.L. Stine's next Goosebumps book is called ______.
Remember when I said this car was death proof? Well, that was a lie. This car is 100% ______ proof.
Satan's Biggest Fear is______
Send your crappy cards to an early grave: ______ _______ ______. Worst one wins.
Some kids threw ______ at the neighbor's house.
Something came out of ______ and tried to destroy us.
Something went horribly wrong! The professor switched his head with ______!
Sometimes ______ is better.
Starbucks, is it really necessary to make pumpkin spice flavored _______?
Stephen King wrote his new novel about ______ that was haunted.
Supernatural, perhaps; ______, perhaps not.
Tell a spooky story using three cards! ______ ______ ______
That cold ain't ______. It's death approaching.
That cold ain't the weather. That's ______ approaching.
That haunted house was terrible, the only scary thing was ______.
That witch costume looks like a ______ and smells like a ______.
That's my mother you're ______.
The best hipster costume was ______ this year.
The BEST part of Halloween is ______.
The biggest secret at Halloween is _______.
The dead are not ______ in Hill House.
The Disney Channel proudly presents: ______: A Halloween Musical.
The ghost of ______ came back to haunt me!
The gravestone reads ______.
The guys from Ghost Hunters encountered ______ while broadcasting their live Halloween special.
The Halloween party was going great, until somebody put ______ in the punch.
The hottest costume for boys is Teenage Mutant Ninja ______.
The hottest girl's costume is My little ______: Equestria Girls.
The hottest lady's costume is sexy ______.
The hottest men's costume is ______ from Breaking ______.
The living concept of Halloween would be ______.
The MO of the crime was clear; this was the work if the ______ killer.
The monster under my bed is actually just ______.
The most badass thing to do on Halloween is ______.
The Mummy has unleashed the plagues! Locusts, Famine, and _______.
The new DLC for FNAF to come out on Halloween is ______.
The newest attraction at Halloween Horror nights is ______.
The newest Halloween Movie is titled: "Halloween: ______".
The newest movie to watch to get into the Halloween spirit is ______.
The next cartoon Halloween special: Scooby Doo and ______.
The next season will be called American Horror Story: ______.
The night of the living ______!
The night of the living ______!
The only true way to kill a vampire is _______.
The only way to lift the curse is to kiss a _____.
The origin of Halloween began with ______.
The phone is dead. Do you hear that, Vitus? Even the phone is _______.
The scariest thing that could happen on Halloween is ______.
The script for my new horror movie features ______ hunting down ______.
The secret ingredient to my Halloween punch, you ask? Just a splash of ______.
The thing I like the best about Devil's Night is ______.
The Time Warp: It's just ______, and then ______, with your hands on your hips, and ______.
The trick-or-treaters thought I'd joined in the fun and was dressed as ______, but really I was just wearing my regular
clothes.
The winner of the costume contest was a guy who dressed up as ______.
The winner of today's costume contest is ______.
The winning formula for a great horror movie: ______, ______, profit.
The worst Halloween candy is ______.
There's always one house you skip while Trick-or-Treating because they always give out ______.
They say if you stand in front of a mirror and say ______ three times ______ will appear.
Things would have been different if only Frankenstein first built ______.
This Halloween, I'm going as ______!
This Halloween, I'm making my boyfriend go as ______.
This is Halloween. This is Halloween.______ scream at the dead of night.
This is no dream! This is ______!
This season's most popular costume was ______.
This year for Halloween I'm going as ______.
This year I'm going to carve my Halloween pumpkin to look like ______.
This year it seems everyone is dressing up as ______.
This year's Halloween was weird. One house gave out ______. Another gave out ______. But ______ had to be the most
odd!
This years Halloween office party theme was _____!
To keep kids from knocking of my door this Halloween I'm giving out ______!
To the ships at sea who can hear my voice: look across the water, into the darkness. Look for ______.
Trick or treat, smell my feet give me something good to eat if you don't, I don't care. I'll pull down your ______!
Trick or Treat, Smell my Feet, Give Me ______ to eat!
Using Tinder on Halloween is a great idea because of _______.
Wal-mart got in trouble for selling child-sized _____ costumes.
Walmart got into a little trouble when their ______ Halloween mask was traumatizing little children.
Walmart's newest lawsuit? It's over their child-sized ______ costumes.
We all know that the scariest thing is ______.
We are doomed! Cthulhu has unleashed ______ upon us!
We came, we saw, we kicked ______'s ass!
We each carved out our own jack-o-lanterns this year. Bobby carverd a ______, Jessica carved a ______, and I carved a
______.
We just cut up our girlfriend with a chainsaw. Does that sound '______'?
We need more _______ for the skeleton war!
Welp, I never though I'd see a sexy ______ tonight, that's for sure!
What a horrible analogy! _______ makes a great accessory to any costume.
What a lame Haunted House. ______ isn't scary. They should have used ______!
What am I giving out to trick-or-treaters this year? ______ ______
What an excellent day for ______.
What caused people to run out of the house screaming? ______
What costume should I expect to see the most of? ______.
What did he do to make this house so evil, Mr. Fischer? "Drug addiction, alcoholism, sadism, bestiality, mutilation,
murder, vampirism, necrophilia, cannibalism, not to mention ______. Shall I go on?"
What did I dress up as last year?
What did the Scooby Doo gang find when they took the mask off? ______
What do witches ride when they lose their broom? ______
What does Cthulhu Fear? ______
What is a skeleton key made of? ______.
What is a skeleton's favorite part of Halloween? ______.
What is Frankenstein's monster's life goal? ______
What is the one thing you can't stand about Halloween? ______
What is the sexiest Halloween costume? ______
What kind of design should my Jack-O-Lantern have? ______.
What really started the zombie apocalypse was ______!
What scares you the most? ______.
What should I go as this year?
What the latest and greatest Halloween costume?_______
What would you find in a deep dark cave? ______.
What's Dracula's favorite thing to suck on? ______
What's Dracula's favorite thing to suck?
What's in my Witch's Brew? ______
What's in that spooky house at the edge of town? ______.
What's in the box?
What's in the box?
WHAT'S IN THE BOX?!
What's the best part about being a vampire? ______
What's the new Sci-Fi movie this Halloween? ______: The Return of ______.
What's the worst part about being a vampire? ______
Whatever you do, don't dress your baby up as ______.
When I die, I'm definitely going to haunt ______.
When I was thirteen I had my first ______ on halloween.
When Scooby Doo and the gang took the monster's mask off, underneath they found ______.
When the leaves start fallin', ______ comes a-callin'.
When there is no room in hell, ______ will walk the earth.
When trick-or-treating, one should always be aware of ______.
When trying to conjure up ______, I accidentally summoned ______. And then a ______ popped out!
When Vampires and Werewolves go to war, victory will hinge on ______.

When we dislike a friend of ours, we ______ him.
Who would think that ______ would make a good costume?
Why can't I sleep at night? ______.
Why did Michael Myers murder his sister? ______
Why does my spouse/fiance/life partner wants to go as ______?
Witches Brew: I heard they recently added more ______ to it.
Wow, I never thought I'd see someone manage to dreass as a sexy version of ______ but I did tonight.
Wow, they even allowed ______ for the haunted house attraction this year.
Y.O.L.O. Unless you're ______.
You can make any costume sexy, just add ______.
You can't have a Halloween party without bobbing for ______.
You know that part in scary movies when somebody starts ______ and everyone hates them for it?
You know that thing a guy does when he cuts a hole at the bottom of a bowl and you reach to get candy out? Well this
house took it to the next level by ______.
You really scared me, if that's what you wanted. Is that what you wanted? "No." "What do you want?" "______."
You want me to salute that walking ______?
You're going to need a bigger ______.
You've got the ______, I've got the ______.
100 tarantulas.
100s of other characters & killers, pick who you like…
72 virgins.
A baby dressed as the old man from 'Up'.
A banshee.
A black cat.
A blob of flesh-eating slime slowly dissolving a town.
A blood-soaked tampon.
A cackling clique of witches.
A candied apple with razor blades hidden inside
A candle-lightning virgin.
A chance to kill people.
A chaperoned Halloween party.
A child who refuses to take off their Halloween costume, even at a funeral.
A corn maze.
A creepy ventriloquist dummy.
A dancing pumpkin man.
A dark and stormy night.
A defective condom.
A disgusting slime monster.
A dog dressed up like a hot dog.
A fairly intimidating man holding a knife.
A fingering from Edward Scissorhands..
A fresh grave.
A furry threesomne.
A gargoyle's erect stone penis.
A ghost costume that is mistaken for a KKK costume.
A graveyard
A Gypsy curse.
A Halloween costume hastily assembled by your mom.
A Haunted hayride.
A head that's always screaming.
A headband that looks like you've shot with an arrow.
A heated argument about if Nightmare Before Christmas is a Halloween or Christmas movie.
A horse head in your bed.
A hot mess.
A hybrid bear and man. A bear-man. A man-bear, if you will.
A jack-o-lantern.
A jar of loose eyeballs.
A jizz filled pumpkin.
A kickstarter campaign for a genocide.
A last-minute Halloween costume.
A late night Halloween rave party.
A man standing in the middle of the road with a sack and an axe.
A man who bites the head off a bat.
A meat cleaver.
A monster that's too far adorable to be considered scary.
A new way to inject more Pumpkin into your life
A Party City commercial.
A pedophile in the neighborhood.
A penguin dressed in a butler outfit.
A pit full of heroin needles.
A Pixie Stix High.
A plate of severed fingers with ketchup.
A potion made from the tears of children who didn't get the $100 costume they wanted.
A psychotic young fellow pretending to be a transsexual.
A pumpkin shaped butt plug.
A pumpkin's glory hole.
A really offensive costume.
A registered sex offender.
A river of blood.
A rubber mask of William Shatner.
A scared little ginger boy with a meat cleaver.
A scary clown.
A sexy nurse costume.
A slutty version of every character ever.
A sugar rush so intense that you run all around the world and back in one night.
A sugar skull dipped in the blood of the innocent and crushed bones of the damned.
A t-shirt that says 'this is my costume'.
A talking black cat.
A teenage girl dressed as a sexy cat.
A teenager who still goes trick or treating.
A Tetris shaped Dick.
A thirst for fresh blood.
A totally-not-haunted mansions that you should totally let your kid go up to alone.
A vagina.
A wailing banshee.
A wheelchair demolition derby.
A yard full of fake zombies.
Actual Cannibal Shia LaBoeuf.
Actually taking candy from a baby.
Adult women dressed like whores.
Aliens.
All this blood.
Altar boys.
American Horror Story.
An abandoned hospital.
An abandoned mansion.
An actual real ghost.
An almost-absurd amount of Five Nights at Freddy's costumes.
An antique ouija board.
An Arnold Schwarzenegger mask.
An Obama mask.
An onion cutting itself.
An unintentionally offensive ghost costume.
Anal sex without lubrication.
Angering the spirits.
Another shitty Simpsons Halloween special.
Attractive dead people.
Autocannibalism.
Awkwardly mixing up the words "specter" and "sphincter".
B horror movies.
Bats! Bats! They're in my hair!
Bed-sheet ghost costumes.
Beetlejuice
Being bitten by a werewolf
Being creepy year-round and just not having to hide it on Halloween.
Being eaten alive.
Being eaten by Cthulhu and having your remains shat out as fertilizer for new nightmares.
Being so drunk on Irish whiskey you carve a Turnip-O-Lantern.
Being the cameraperson for The Blair Witch Project.
Being the idiot who decided playing with dinosaur reanimation was a good idea.
Being visited by Freddy Krueger.
Believing a plastic skull is authentic.
Bent-up Goosebumps paperbacks.
Big Bouncing Titties & Zombies Eating Flesh.
Bingo night at the church of Satan.
Black demon eyes.
Bleeding from every orifice.
Blood Mary. Blood Mary. Blood Mary.
Blowing out a Jack-O-Lantern.
Body glitter.
Bogeyman.
Bringing your friends back from the dead.
Bruce Wayne.
Buckets of blood.
Buffy the Vampire Layer.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Buying candy in bulk.
Candy corn.
Cannibalism.
Carving a penis into a Jack-O-Lantern.
Cats dressed up as teenage girls.
Chainging a zombie up to use as a sex slave.
Charles Manson.
Cheesy thunder sound effects.
Christopher Walken.
Chuck Norris.
Clowns.
Coming home to tupperware containing human meat.
Costco-sized candy bags.
Costume t-shirts.
Couples costumes.
Cousin It.
Cowboy ghost.
Creepy children.
Creepy clowns.
Crystal meth.
Cthulhu.
Culturally-appropriate costumes.
Cum.
Cunnilingus by Freddy Krueger.
Cutting a hole in the candy bowl then putting your dick in it.
Daddy issues.
Darth Vader.
Dead babies.
Defense against the dark arts.
Demons.
Devil with the blue dress on.
Dia de los Muertos = Mexican Halloween.
Dia de los Muertos.
Dick.
Digging up all the corpses for a truly fun halloween.
Disney channel Halloween movies.
Disturbia' by Rihanna.
Dogs in Halloween costumes.
Doing all of the dumb and dangerous shit they do in horror movies.
Doing Blackface for Halloween.
Dr. Frank-N-Furter
Dr. Jakyll and Mr. Hyde.
Dr. Who.
Dracula.
Drake.
Dressing as a nerd for Halloween and not wearing a costume.
Dressing as someone from scooby doo and taking off people's masks.
Dressing in black.
Dressing like famous YouTubers and telling trick-or-treaters to like if they enjoyed the candy you gave them and
subscribe if they want more next year.
Drinking way too much cider.
Eating all your kid's candy.
Eating leftover candy originally intended for trick-or-treaters
Ed, Edd, & Eddy.
Edgar Allan Poe.
Egging and tping houses.
Egging old ladies.
Egging that fucker who didn't give out any candy.
Eight different shades of blood red.
El Chupacabra.
Elongated Man.
Every year they jam more and more commercials in 'It's the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown!!'
Everyone and their mother wearing a zombie costume.
Exactly what you'd expect.
Exorcisms.
Eye of newt.
Face paint.
Fake blood dripping out your anus.
Fake blood.
Fat Batman.
Fear itself.
Feasting upon a bounty of infant felines.
Fester Addams.
Finding a tooth in a place that teeth should not be.
Finding out you have diarrhea by coughing.
Fingering.
Five Nights at Freddy's.
Flesh-eating bacteria.
Flying spiders.
Foreplay with Freddy Krueger.
Frankenstein.
Frankenstein's monster.
Frankenstein's penis.
Frat House amateur Halloween Porn hidden in the dark places of the internet.
Freddie Krueger's shriveled penis.
Freddy and Jason slash fiction.
Freddy Kreuger
Freddy Krueger's moisturizer.
Friday the 13th.
Fucking with ghosts.
Fun size candy bars.
Getting a hand job By Freddy Krueger.
Getting ass fucked by Jason Voorhees' Machete.
Getting bitten by a zombie.
Getting carpal tunnel from too much stabbing.
Getting fantastic insurance deals on your haunted house.
Getting fingered by Freddy Krueger.
Ghost Farts.
Ghostbusters!
Ghosts.
Giant Spiders.
Ginormous poops from Kaijus all over Japan and San Francisco.
Giving out random things to trick-or-treater's cause you ate all the Doritos.
Gloryholes.
Goblins.
Going as Kim and Kanye for Halloween complete with fake butt.
Going on a date with a skeleton.
Going on a real life murder spree to scare innocent fuckers.
Going to your neighbors' houses and asking them to give you candy so your wife doesn't know you ate all the candy
that she bought.
Goiong for a casual walk in the woods under the moonlight.
Gomez Addams.
Goths.
Grave robbing.
Gremlins.
Halloween episodes of TV shows.
Halloween Town.
Hamlet.
Handing out condoms to trick-or-treaters then winking.
Handing out Halloween candy.
Handing out rocks to trick-or-treaters with crappy homemade or supermarket costumes.
Hanging Harry Potter for witchcraft.
Hank Hill, Peter Griffin, and Homer Simpson.
Hannibal Lecter.
Harley Quinn getting naked.
Harry Potter
Harry Styles.
Haunted cum
Having a candy enema done.
Having both types of diabetes.
Having sex in the graveyard.
Having your heat turn into a rotting pumpkin.
Hiding a real corpse with your Halloween decorations.
Hobnobbin' with a goblin.
Hocus Pocus on constant re-run.
Hocus Pocus.
Homeless people.
Homemade face masks.
Hookers who are also witches.
Horny mental patients.
Horror movies.
Horror stories.
Hotel rooms that are shady as hell.
Houses with full size candy bars.
Howling at the moon.
Human brains.
Human pincushions.
HYPER REALISTIC BLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going as myself this year!.
Immersing yourself in a disgusting tub or putrid blood.
Incessant projectile vomiting.
Internet urban legends.
Invading the dreams of the innocent just to sing them a song.
Jack Skellington
Jack Skellington t-shirts at Hot Topic.
Jack The Ripper.
Jason Vorhees.
Jeffrey Dahmer
Judge Judy.
Jumping into a pile of dead bodies instead of leaves.
Just clowns.
Just when you finally get to sleep, your alarm goes off.
Kamikaze pilots.
Kanye West.
Keeping the heads of past dates in your fridge.
Kidnapping 24 middle schoolers in to hold your own Hunger Games.
Kids' superherp costumes with foam muscles.
Killer Candy Corn.
Killing your husband with a frozen leg of lamb.
King Kandy's Fungeon.
Leatherface
Leathervagina.
Leaving the kid you're supposed to babysit in a room with a large bunny-man.
Leaving your lights off and still getting trick-or-treaters.
Liam Neeson.
Lingerie with some form of animal ears.
Link.
Literally taking candy from a stranger.
Marathoning a bunch of scary movies.
Mario.
Massive fangs.
Masticated flesh.
Matching Halloween costumes.
Michael Jackson literally rising from his grave to dance 'Thriller'.
Michael Myers
Michael Myers incestuous fantasies.
Minecraft costumes that are really just cardboard boxes.
Mistaking a KKK costume for ghost costume.
Morticia Addams.
Motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.
Movies that are labeled horror but are really just slasher films.
Natalie Portman.
Necromancy.
Necrophiliac pornography.
Nicholas Cage's hairline.
Night terrors.
Nobody showed up to the party.
Norman Bates.
Nosferatu.
Now celebrated twice a year, June 22nd will now be known as SUMMERWEEN!
Off-named Nintendo character costumes.
Old people giving away raisins.
Old-people smell.
Oliver Queen.
Omnius whispers.
One thousand screaming children.
Organic, gluten-free, non-GMO candy bars.
Ouija boards.
Overly-sexualized Catwoman.
Paranormal Activity.
Patient Zero.
Pennywise the clown.
People dressed as puns.
People pot pie.
People who hand out fruit on Halloween.
Petrified "wood".
Pillage, murder, destroy.
Plastic weapons.
Playing Harry Potter movies on TV regardless of what holiday it is.
Playing Twister with amputees.
Poke'mon.
Poltergeists.
Preteen boys dressed as ninjas.
Pretending you're too cool to trick-or-treat.
Provoking the Midnight Man to come into your home.
Pumpkin guts.
Pumpkin smashing.
Pumpkin Spice Condoms.
Pumpkin spice lattes.
Punching your son back to life.
Punkin Chunkin.
Puppers that kill.
Pyramid head's uncomfortably ripped body.
Razor blade-filled candy bars.
Reading "do not touch" in braille.
Returning the favor by Trick-or-Treating at every Jehovah Witness's house.
Rigor mortis
Ritualistic sacrifice.
RoboCop.
Rocky Horror Picture Show.
Role playing as Donald Trump in the bedroom.
Roofies.
Rubber masks.
Rubbing Robin William's urn and getting three wishes.
Running like an idiot up the stairs instead of out the door.
Sabrina the Sad Old Lady Witch.
Sacrificing a small child under a full moon.
Satan.
Schoolgirls.
Scooby Doo.
Screaming as you're being irreparably hacked to bits.
Seeing things that aren't there.
Self-pleasuring mummies.
Sending your mom to kill a group of horny camp counselors.
Serial killers.
Shapeshifters.
Shaquille O'Neal's acting career.
Singing and dancing skeletons.
Skeletons doing normal day-to-day activities.
Skeletor.
Slasher movies.
Slender Man.
Slipping into a diabetic coma after gorging on Halloween candy.
Slowly mutating into an insect hybrid.
Slutty Hitler.
Slutty versions of childhood characters.
Snatch and grab, snatch and grab!!!!
Sniffing glue.
Soft wet kisses from Cthulhu.
Some loser who doesn't celebrate Halloween.
Some more s'mores.
Something actually scary.
Soulless ginger children
Spooky scary skeletons.
Stealing an extra piece of candy when the bowl says "Take one".
Stephen King.
Straight jackets.
Stranger danger.
Studying for a pregnancy test.
Summoning Satan.
Suspiciously pale nurses at a blood drive.
Swamp-ass.
Ted Bundy
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, minus the "teenage mutant ninja" part.
Teenagers that expect candy without having a costume.
Teens throwing rotten eggs.
Telling someone the eyeball they ate was real.
That creepy horse mask.
That one dude who tries to fight the killer.
That one friend who always goes as the same thing every year.
That one house in the neighborhood that is decorated for two whole months before Halloween.
That one neighbor that hands out toothpaste instead of candy.
That one really drunk dude at the party who doesn't even have a costume but enters the costume contest anyway.
That really badass skeleton horse the Headless Horseman rides.
That slut wearing lingerie with some kind of cutesy animal ears and tail who gets drunk off of a couple of Jolly
Rancher shots.
That Spooky Scary Skeletons song.
That weird guy who always show up dressed as some form of human genitalia.
That zombie that "really isn't a bad guy" but we can't understand him.
The Addams Family.
The Amish.
The animatronic shark from Jaws.
The Blood Moon.
The Boogie Man.
The Box Ghost.
The burning rain of death.
The clown right behind you.
The corpse-filled catacombs under the city.
The dance from Thriller
The dark.
The feeling of anticipation when the month changes to October.
The Flying Dutchman.
The Ghost Busters
The Great Pumpkin touching little children.
The Great Pumpkin.
The Grim Reaper causally showing up at your party.
The Horseless Headman.
The Jews.
The KKK.
The Kool-Aid Man.
The lack of modest options in the women's costume department.
The man with a hook for a hand.
The Manson Family
The monster under your bed.
The monsters "mashing".
The Munsters.
The newest Disney princess.
The Pope.
The preserved head of a homosexual.
The Pumpkin King.
The Pumpkin Patch.
The Simpson: Treehouse of horror playing on the first Sunday of November.
The Slutty Pumpkin.
The Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
The stroke of midnight.
The sudden realization that there is a skeleton inside you right now.
The terror that faps in the night.
The three things you never discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.
The tiny bit of Christmas stuff already in the next aisle over at Walmart.
The Twilight Series.
The Walking Dead.
The zombie apocalypse.
They are fucking terrifying man.
Thinking that you see things that aren't there after too many scary movies.
Thirteen year old boys wearing costumes of their favorite youtubers.
Those creepy smiling Happy Meals.
Those god-damn adorable Funko Pop! Vinyl figures.
Those Mary Jane candies that clueless old people give out on Halloween.
Those plastic knives with the blood in them.
Those weird sewn-together babies that all Halloween stores stock.
Throwing heads instead of snowballs.
Tiny pumpkins.
Tom Cruise.
Tons of bone puns.
Trick or treating at a pedophile's house
Trick-or-Treating at age 40.
Trying to perform an exorcism on your friends.
Trying to scare your friend, but you get scared by their reaction.
Turning into a hotter, younger version of yourself after eating a Snickers.
Two Girls One Cup.
Undead cheerleaders.
Using a pillowcase as a trick or treat bag.
Vampire porn.
Vampire slayers.
Vampires doing each other's hair since they can't see themselves in mirrors.
Vampires that don't sparkle in the sunlight.
Vampires that sparkle.
Victor Frankenstein.
Vikings.
Waking up in the middle of the night to find Michael Myers baking a pie in your kitchen.
Warehouse-sized Halloween stores.
Water boarding a child in a public drinking fountain.
Wear a Halloween costume.
Wearing a horse mask and claiming to be trick or treating as Sarah Jessica Parker.
Wednesday Addams.
Werewolf puppies.
Werewolf semen.
Werewolves.
Whatever slutty version of a character that woman decided to wear.
Whatever's in the attic.
Whatever's in the basement.
White people, the scariest thing of all.
William Shatner.
Witches and hoes.
Witches.
Women screaming in the shower.
Wonder Woman's legendary amazonian cleavage.
Wrapping yourself in toilet paper and saying you're a mummy.
Yet another Final Destination sequel.
Your best friend, but a zombie.
Zippo, the pyromaniac clown.
Zoltar.
Zombie drag queens.
Zombies who are pissed off that they were woken from their nap.
Zombies!
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PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
DRAW 2, PICK 3
DRAW 2, PICK 3
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
DRAW 2, PICK 3
PICK 2
DRAW 2, PICK 3
DRAW 2, PICK 3
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 2
DRAW 2, PICK 3
PICK 2
Cards Against Wizardry
https://www.etsy.com/listing/514513917/cards-against-wizardry-full-size
A Harry Potter themed set of cards that was sold on Etsy by seller TheDailyCloset.
_________ was the only thing Voldemort feared.
“Do not pity the dead, Harry. Pity the living and, above all else, pity those who live without _________.”
“The things lose have a way of _________, if not always in the way we expect.”
All it took was _________ for Harry to get over his godfather’s death.
Draco’s favorite way to bully people was by _________.

Dumbledore made many poor choices, but the worst was _________.
Filch had to add _________ to the list of items banned from Hogwarts.
Gryffindor is known for bravery, Ravenclaw for intelligence, Hufflepuff for loyalty, and Slytherin for _________.
Harry Could have killed Voldemort much faster had he tried _________.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of _________.
Hermione’s favorite book is entitled _________.
Hermione’s favorite book is entitled _________.
Hogwarts was almost shut down due to complaints about _________.
Hogwarts wouldn’t be Hogwarts without _________.
I’m sorry, Professor, I didn’t write my essay because I was busy _________.
If Voldemort had a Facebook, he would be known for _________.
It’s a pity that students these days are involving themselves with _________.
Madame Pomfrey is now embracing the curative powers of _________.
Most people agree that the worst flavor of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavor Beans is _________.
My father will hear about _________.
Snape tried _________ in order to convince Dumbledore to make him the Defense Against the Dark Arts Professor.
Snape’s hair care routine included _________.
The Ministry of _________.
The newest password the Gryffindor common room is _________.
The night before marrying Lily, James got drunk and decided that _________ was a good idea.
The only thing Harry loves more than Quidditch is _________.
Voldemort considered making _________ his eighth Horcrux.
Voldemort only became evil after _________.
When Neville looked into the Mirror of Erised, he saw himself _________.
Yer a _________, Harry.
You failed your O.W.Ls because your examiner saw you _________.
A 12” wand.
A cauldron full of hot, strong love.
A centaur with the bottom half human and the top half horse.
A guest chapter written by Stephanie Meyer.
A huge wall that the Muggles will pay for.
A unicorn so cute that your eyes roll back and your spine slides out of your anus.
An inconveniently located Portkey.
Answering every riddle the Ravenclaw door asks with “I know you are but what am I”
Attending a Weird Sisters concert in the nude.
Bathilda Bagshot’s decaying body.
Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken.
Bone of the father, unknowingly given.
Bringing a gun to a wand fight.
Conveniently forgetting Wormtail was ever part of the Marauders.
Creating a time travel paradox.
Crushing up the Sorcerer’s Stone and snorting it.
Daniel Radcliffe’s delicious asshole.
Dead parents.
Deez Knuts.
Denying the return of Voldemort.
Doing a belly shot off Professor McGonagall.
Draco Malfoy.
Dropping dungbombs on first years from the Astronomy Tower.
Drowning yourself in Polyjuice Potion.
Exactly the opposite of what you’d expect.
Exactly what you’d expect.
Failing the Apperation test.
Fetching Vomdemort some Nasonex.
FetusDeletus.
Firewhiskey induced diarrhea.
Firing green sparks into the air while balls deep in a squealing BlastEnded Skrewt.
Flesh of the servant, willingly sacrificed.
Flushing Voldemort’s soul down the toilet.
Forcing Filch to clean up the entire mess by himself after the Battle of Hogwarts.
Francis the fish.
Getting really worried about house elf rights for a few seconds.
Growing pot in the Forbidden Forest.
Hanging by your thumbs in the dungeons.
Harry Freakin’ Potter.

Having a fart build up for hours and releasing it slowly throughout the Potions class.
Having followers, not friends.
Helping Moaning Myrtle make toilet wine.
Killing a defenseless doe and devouring it to absorb the power and ferocity of a doe.
Leaving an orphaned child with his abusive relatives.
Love.
Making out with a dementor.
Mr. Tom, a dildo lover.
Murdering a student and not getting expelled.
Not actually having your mother’s eyes.
Not giving a shit about squibs.
One trillion galleons.
Opening a big can of whoopass.
Page 394.
Playing a drinking game with Professor Slughorn.
Pooping in Dumbledore’s candy dish.
Professor Dumbledore’s lacy thong.
Professor Slughorn’s pasty left butt cheek.
Professor Slughorn’s voluminous stomach.
Punching the Dark Lord in the face.
Putting a stopper in death.
Putting Wormtail in a maze with a chunk of cheese at the end.

Quirrell being ‘randomly selected’ in airport security lines.
Raciallybiased O.W.L. questions.
Selling crap to people and making millions of galleons.
Setting Fawkes on fire before he’s ready to be reborn.
Setting Snape on fire.
Slipping a love potion into Filch’s pumpkin juice.
Smashing orphan’s heads in with a rock cake.
Spending months learning to become an Animagus only to learn that your form is a mosquito.
Sticking a wand in an interesting place.
Streaking across the quidditch pitch.
Streaking through the Chamber of Secrets.
Sweet, sweet ignorance.
Taking a bath with Cedric Diggory.
Talking in Parseltongue.
The blond lesbian from the snake house.
The Constipation Sensation That’s Sweeping the Nation!
The darkest of arts.
Throwing snowballs at Voldemort’s face.
Training dragons.
Unimaginable loss.
Using Dark Magic to spice things up in the bedroom.
Using Veritaserum as a recreational drug.
Voldemort’s missing nose.
Waxing off Professor Flitwick’s eyebrows.
Winning the Triwizard Tournament by seducing the judges.
Special Set
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Cards That Trump Humanity Special
http://www.thecuriositystore.com/
This card set was being sold on eBay and Etsy for a while, but appears to no longer be
available by seller ThecuriositystoreUS.
Ask me anything and I will say _________.
Donald J. Trump, endorsed by ________.

I am going to build a wall of _________.
I gurantee you there's no problem with my _________.
I sold an apartment to a Chinaman for $15 million and _________.

I use _________ to take care of my toupe.
I will absolutely apologize, sometime in the hopefully distant future, if I'm ever wrong
about _________.
If I win election for President we are going to _________.
In order to make America great again, I will replace Justice Scalia with _________.
The best thing about the Apprentice was _________ with _________. PICK 2
Visas! What are they good for?
We don't make deals with _________.
We need to build a _________.
What did these geniuses expect when they put men and women together?
Who's doing the raping?
Having one of the highest I.Q.'s a nd you all knowing it. Please don't feel stupid or
insecure; it's not your fault.
Little short guys that wear yamakas everyday counting my money.
Being too greedy.
Bringing back waterboarding.
Being stupid.
Bette Midler is an extremely unattractive woman.
Laziness is a trait in the blacks.
People who weren't captured.
Officially declaring my candidacy for President of the United States.
The beauty of me is that I am very rich.
The people that are with me 100% are the people.
You're disgusting, you're disgusting.
The greatest builder.
Donald Trump.
The Mexicans.
A thin person drinking a Diet Coke.
A wall with a big fat door.
No deals. No deals. We don’t make deals with anybody.
The Blacks.
It's freezing and snowing in New York. We need global warming.
Making Mexico pay for that wall.
Global warming.
A twitter so powerful it can actually make my enemies tell the truth.
The poorly educated.
A young and beautiful piece of ass.
Blood coming out of her eyes. Blood coming out of her…wherever.
Having a serious problem.
Not needing babies.
Being the stupid country.
Long and beautiful fingers.
The stupid people of Iowa.
So much winning.
The worst thing that's ever happened to ISIS.
Building a great, great wall.
Tiny children are not horses
Knowing the words. Having the best words.
Insisting on being politically correct.
I just don't even find her attractive.
Set
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Horrors Amidst Sanity
https://www.etsy.com/listing/499035236/horrors-amidst-insanity-36-card
Horrors Amidst Insanity is an unofficial horror movie themed expansion to Cards Against Humanity and other similar
card games that focus on quotes, characters and situations that hardcore horror fans will love while also being relatable
to the entry level horror fan. Sold by seller ZombienceHC.
I dreamed about ______ in a dirty red and green sweater.

I spent eight years trying to reach him and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I realized that what
was living behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply… ______.
It rubs ______ on its skin or else it gets ______ again.
It's all true. ______ is real and you found him.
Legend has it that Jason saw ______ beheaded that night. Then, he took his revenge, a revenge he continues to seek if
anyone ever enters his wilderness again.
Send… more… ______.
The events of that day were to lead to the discovery of one of the most bizarre crimes in the annals of American history,
The Texas ______ Massacre.
The Power of ______ compels you!
They're not ______, Mac. They're Norwegian.
We just cut up ______ with a chainsaw. Does that sound… fine?
What's the matter, Mr. Pratt? ______ got your tongue?
When there's no more room in Hell, ______ will walk the Earth.
A child's doll possessed by the soul of a voodoo-obsessed serial killer.

A disfgured man with knives for fingers.
A mute killer in a hockey mask slicing his way through sex-crazed teenagers.
A prom queen covered in pigs' blood.

A repurposed Willaim Shatner mask.
Accidentally releasing a Kandarian demon upon the Earth.
An ancient book inked in blood and bound in human flesh.
An isolated hotel built on the site of a sacred Indian burial ground.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dwellers.
Dinner with a family of Texas cannibals.
Finding out the Boogeyman is your older brother.
Getting bit by a Sumatran Rat-Monkey.
Having sex while the summer camp cook's developmentally disabled son drowns.
Kicking ass for the Lord!
Letting the neighborhood child murderer go free on a technicality.
Partying in a graveryard next to a medical supply warehouse.
Primitive Screwheads.
Riding out the zombie apocalypse in a shopping mall.
Shopping smart at S-Mart.
Spider-walking backwards down the stairs.
Summoning extradimensional beings in black leather by solving a puzzle box.
Teaching people the error of their ways through a series of intricate torture devices disguised as puzzles.
The actual cause of the zombie apocalypse.
The bastard son of 100 maniacs.
Special Set
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SuperWhoLock Against Humanity
https://www.etsy.com/listing/482400159/superwholock-against-humanity-game-pdf
A themed set of cards with cards about the Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock TV shows sold by seller
AppliqueGeekDesigns.
________ was foiled by _________.
_________ and _________: Still a better love story than Twilight.

_________, _________: The family business.
_________, the Doctor's new companion.
_________: it's bigger on the inside.

_________: The latest threat Sam and Dean are trying to stop.
_________? Hells, yeah!

_________. #lifegoals
_________. The most awkward thing about running into your parents while time-traveling.
_________. Why the Daleks lost the Time War.
At Comic Con, there is way too much _________, and not nearly enough _________.
Benedict Cumberbatch landed the role of Sherlock because of _________.
Castiel fell from Heaven because of _________.
Dean Winchester drinks to forget _________.
Everything was going according to plan until _________.
How Sherlock fights boredom.
How Sherlock survived the fall.

In a shocking plot twist, we find out that _________ was actually _________ the whole time!
Instead of a blue police box, the Doctor's next TARDIS will be disguised as _________.
John's newest blog post is titled "The Case of _________."
Moriarty's latest evil scheme.
Much to his dismay, the Doctor's psychic paper revealed to his enemies that _________ was his weakness.
No trip in the TARDIS would be complete without _________.
Often fond of unconventional methods, Sherlock and John used _________ to solve their most recent case.
Sam and Dean have seen some weird stuff in their day, but nothing quite as weird as _________.
Sam Winchester's new addiction.
Sherlock knows many things, but he doesn't know about _________.
The Doctor replaced his sonic screwdriver with _________.
The monster Sam and Dean are hunting uses _________ to lure its victims.
The most annoying thing about your favorite fandom.
Though they're very different, Supernatural, Doctor Who, and Sherlock all have _________ in common.
Time Lords got 99 problems, but _________ ain't one.
What Bobby Singer needs to complete his spell.
What caused the latest argument between John and Sherlock?
What is John hiding from Sherlock?
What is Lestrade's division?
What makes Dr. Sexy sexy?
What's Captain Jack Harkness doing?
Why is Dean worried about Cas?
With his latest regeneration, the Doctor expected to get a new body. But he didn't expect _________.
A banana.
A big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey… stuff.
A bitchy trampoline.
A cranky wendigo.
A giant bear-hug from Garth.
A giant head in a jar.
A giant sasquatch.
A guy hanging out with a girl who is way too young for him.
A lucky waving cat statue.
A machine that goes "ding".
A network of homeless informants.
A sonic screwdriver on the secret "vibrate" setting.
A strategically placed scarf.
A supersoaker filled with holy water.
A tattoo of Princess Leia in a slave bikini straddling a 20-sided die.
A trunk full of weapons.
A very special musical episode.
An odd Ood.
An overly aggressive potato.
Anderson with a crazy unkempt beard.
Arriving at the Queen's house naked.
Awkward use of "air quotes".
Balthazar's low cut shirts.
Beating up a corpse.
Being as big as the Chrysler Building.
Being gripped tight and raised from perdition by an angel of the Lord. Who also happens to be a total fox.
Being in love with your best friend and they have no idea.
Being mistaken for a psychopath when actually you're a high-functioning sociopath.
Being rude and not ginger.

Being secretly gay.
Being too drunk to charge your cell phone.
Benny, Cain, Chuck, and Bobby in an epic "Who has the best beard?" battle.
Captain Jack trying to get in your pants.
Castiel, naked and covered in bees.
Casual grave robbing.
Cheekbones you could cut yourself on.
Complaining that the book was better, and then explaining in detail the differences between them.
Confusing murder and marriage.
Crossplay.
Crowley, King of Hell, in footie pajamas.
Cumberbitches.
Cyberman porn.
Dancing (aka, sex).
David Tennant, naked and tied to a bed.
Dean Winchester, lovingly stroking his Impala.
Demons, man…
Dinosaurs! On a spaceship!
Dirty jokes in Enochian.
Diry texts from Irene Adler.
Discovering a murder, being wanted by the authorities, fleeing from mortal peril… You know, just your typical Thursday night.
Doing stuff then blogging about it.

Donna's amazing rack.
Drawing on a fake mustache and pretending to be a French waiter.
Dying, but then coming back to life, then dying again, then coming back to life again.
End of season cliffhangers.
Ending up in handcuffs.
Facebook stalking celebrities at 2 AM.
Faking your own death.
Fangirling so hard.
Far-fetched crossovers.
Features of interest.
Finding the perfect vessel.
Fish fingers and custard.
Forgetting about pants.
Forgetting Lestrade's first name. Gary? Gavin?
Four things. Well, four things and a lizard.
Freaking Tumblr, I swear.
Functional alcoholism.
Gabriel, starring in a porno.
Getting accidentally engaged. Again.
Getting called an idjit by Bobby.

Getting lost in the jungle of River Song's hair.
Getting trapped in TV Land.
Getting turned on by someone who is supposed to be a villian.
Getting two thumbs up from Mary.
Giggling at a crime scene.
Giving exactly zero fucks about paradoxes.
Growing a mustache just so people will recognize you.
Grown men playing rock-paper-scissors.
Harriet Jones, Prime Minister.
Having a gift for everything.
Having a molar stuck in your hair.
Having sex in the bathroom at Comic Con.
Having the world's most British name.

Highly questionable fashion choices.
Hitting on inanimate objects.

Honeymooning on the TARDIS.
Impersonating a government official.
John and Mary's dysfunctional relationship.
John Watson telling people he's not gay.
John Watson's bulky sweaters.
John Watson's mustache.
John Winchester's poor parenting skills.
Johnlock.
Justifying to friends that watching Netflix for 24 hours straight IS, in fact, having a life.
Killing off characters you love.
Literal crazy cat ladies.
Looking like an otter.
Looking sad when you think he can't see you.
Low-budget CGI.
Lowering the IQ of the whole street.
Lucifer's muscular thighs.
Lyp-syncing to classic rock hits.
Making obscure references none of the "normal people" understand.
Making out with your worst enemy.
Making strippers cry.
Making up half-assed explanations for being covered in blood.
Martha Jones, doing actual doctor-y stuff.
Martin Freeman's tiny hedgehog face.
Matt Smith's missing eyebrows.
Misha's minions.
Missing your exam because you got called to be a prophet of God. That old excuse.
Moffat's cold, black heart.
Molly Hooper in drag.
Moose and squirrel.
Moriarty wearing a wedding dress.
Moriarty's voice.
Mrs. Hudson finding thumbs in the fridge.

Mrs. Hudson talking about her sex life, to the discomfort of all.
My BroTP.
Mycroft Holmes on a treadmill.
Mycroft's umbrella.
Obsessing over cheeseburgers.
Obviously Canadian extras.
Overly complicated family relationships.
Peeing in someone's fireplace. Who does that?!
PHYSICS. Physics, physics, physics, physics…
Poorly drawn fan art.
Pudding!!!
Punching your best friend.

Putting Hitler in a cupboard.
Receiving an ass-kicking from Mary.
Requiring a blanket because you're in shock.
River Song, flirting with the Doctor.
Running fingers through Sherlock's magnificent hair.
Sam Winchester making bitch face.
Sandshoes and Granddad.
Secretly liking Taylor Swift.
Sexting via psychic paper.
Sherlock Holmes getting lost in his mind palace.
Sherlock's riding crop collection.
Shipping wars.
Sleepovers and braiding Sam's hair.
Slightly crazy fangirls.
Smelling sulfur but it's not a demon, someone just farted.
Snogging a Zygon.
Solving crimes while drunk.
Solving murders for fun and profit.
Spending all your money on fandom merchandise.
Spending the entire production budget on 500 lbs. of salt.
Spoilers!
Staying in unsavory motels.
Stroking bits of the TARDIS.
Taking jokes literally.
Talking dirty in a Dalek voice.
Taping a photo of Benedict Cumberbatch onto a blow up doll.
Tasteful homo-erotic fanfiction.
Team Free Will.
That guy who was also in that one thing.
The 10th Doctor's discarded hand.
The 12th Doctor's attack eyebrows.
The 9th Doctor's ears.
The ability to regenerate into the opposite gender.
The air from my lungs.
The awkward moment when you find out you're actually a Dalek.
The babysitter and the pizza man.
The Bad Wolf.
The dance of the drunk giraffe.
The Doctor, in the TARDIS with Rose Tyler.
The Doctor, saying something extremely clever but there's no one to stand around looking impressed.
The feels!
The gif that would break the internet.
The Last Centurion.
The latest Hillywood Show parody.
The Master's latest regeneration.
The musical magic of the Bee Gees.
The one awful episode no one talks about.
The pure sex that is Mark Sheppard's voice.
The purple shirt of sex.
The round things.
The SuperWhoLock fandom.
The Trickster, suggestively sucking a lollipop.
The wait between seasons.
Turning up your coat collar so you look cool.
Twerking angels.
Using a violin bow in an unapproved manner.
Using kitchen tools as weapons.
Using POP! Vinyl figures to act out romantic scenarios.
Visiting the morgue for fun.
Waiting for fan theories to become canon.
Walking around in a trench coat and looking all dramatic and shit.
Walking on Sunshine playing on an endless loop.
Walking past a fez.
Wearing a vegetable as a fashion accessory.
When your friend accidentally dates a psychopath.
Wincest.
Your mom, on fire on the ceiling.
Your phone ringing at the worst time possible with an embarrassing ringtone.
Special
PICK 2
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PICK 2
PICK 2
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Bards Against Humanity
Created by Redditor cybertyche with permission from CAH to do a limited print run sold at cost.
No longer available.
Exit, pursued by _________.

If _________ be the food of love, play on, give me excess of it.
Shakespeare's newly discovered sequel: Much Ado About _________.
Shall I compare thee to _________? Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Some Cupid kills with arrows, some with _________.
The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be _________.
Uneasy lies the head that wears _________.
What's in a name? That which we call _________ by any other name would smell as sweet.
A band made up entirely of brothers.
A drinking binge in a brothel with Falstaff.

A gravedigger.
A jello mold of Yorick's skull.
A magical storm, summoned from a toilet plunger.

A man playing a woman pretending to be a man.
A pound of flesh.
A production of The Merry Wives of Windsor where every part is played by Sir Ian McKellen.
A sexy man with a British accent quoting Shakespeare.
A sonnet with an extra syllable.
A statue of your wife that comes alive for no apparent reason.

A violent yet pensive Akira Kurosawa remake of A Comedy of Errors.
Being cruel to be kind.

Being true to thine own self.
Bottom's head, turned into an ass.
Country matters.
Dogberry.
Flowery Elizabethan English prose about a boner.
Henry VI, Part VIII: Henry Takes Manhattan.

Her C's, her U's, and her T's.
King James I's soiled kilt.
King Lear's fool.
Othello, played by a white man with a southern accent and a lisp.
Replacing Romeo's poison with Red Bull and Viagra.
Running naked backstage at a play shouting “MacBeth!”
Taming an actual shrew.
The crack of doom.
The dogs of war.
The Globe Theater, filled with porridge.
The lost Shakespearean History of Henry VII.
The puppies of war!

The whirligig of time.
Cards Against Fashion
http://www.whowhatwear.com/cards-against-humanity-fashion-game-winter-2014
A fashion themed set created by WhoWhatWear.com.
_________: the real reason the Conde Nast intern program was shut down.
_________: the real secret to French Style.
A heart-to-heart with Tyra Banks would be incomplete without _________.
A private Christie's auction of the Olsen twin's entire __________ collection.
Anna Wintour has retired her signature sunglasses in favor of wearing _________.
Fashion people like _________.
Kanye West's 2014 to-do list: _________.
Lady Gaga's new ensemble: an outfit made entirely of _________.
The CFDA Award for _________ goes to _________.
What was Pharrell hiding in his hat at the Grammy's?
What's at the bottom of Lena Dunham's purse?
A contagious passion for flatforms.
A DIY gone unforgivably wrong.

A jaunty fedora.
A moment of silence for all the lost lip glosses.
A mysterious trail of glitter.
A thoroughly disappointing swag bag.

An unidentified Caboodle abandoned at the airport.
Andre Leon Talley's favorite cape.

Being a total Charlotte.
Boob tape.
Buffet pants.
Cara Delevingne and Rihanna induct you into their wolf pack.
Choupette in a Baby Bjorn strapped to Karl Lagerfeld's chest.

Claiming you coined the term "recessionista".
Death by Spanx.
Driving deep into the suburbs for that Target collaboration.

Drop-crotch pants.
Enrolling in Barbizon modeling school.
Fanny packs.
Feeling a lot of feelings about the revival of Birkenstocks.
Gainful employment as an Etsy model.

Going Sinead O'Connor.
Lindsay Lohan's career as a fashion designer.

LL Cool J's Kangol hat collection.
Matching head-to-toe denim outfits aà la Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake.

Monica Lewinsky's beret.
My Civil War-era pantaloons.
Naomi Campbell on a yacht.

Never knowing exactly how to pronounce Shu Uemura.
Off-brand jeggings.
Passive aggressive nail art.
Ripping Valentino Couture.
Scrunchie nostalgia.
Sideboob Spice, the sixth Spice Girl.
Slow dancing with Grace Coddington.

The agony of taking off glitter nail polish.
The Case of the Missing Sample: A Murder Mystery Novel.
The firl standing way too close behind you in the sample sale line.
The Ikea monkey's shearling coat.
The leather jacket that is totally, completely going to change your life.
Tom Ford's man musk.

Uncooperative bangs.
Unearthing Mudd jeans from your closet.
You and Mindy Kaling on a cronut-fueled shopping rampage.

Cards Against Mars
https://cardsagainstmars.com/
A Mars themed set created by @cirquelar and @PlanetaryKeri.
EDITOR NOTE: This card list has been slightly edited from the PDF to comply Cards Against
Humanity standards.
A study of Enceladus' plumes have revealed _________ as the main component.

Action stations! Action stations! Set condition one throughout the fleet and brace for _________!
Astronomers have made an exciting discovery of _________ inside a black hole.
Cassini's last orbit will be a flyby of __________.
Curiosity has become an honorary member of the _________ Association of California.
Curiosity proudly continues NASA's decades long interplanetary _________ program.
Didn't _________ et al. do a paper on the subject of __________ last year?
Following the decision on Pluto, the IAU also no longer considers __________ to be _________.
For today's science discussion, __________ will talk about _________.
I built a robot out of LEGOs and _________.
I can't believe I get paid to _________.
I find your lack of _________ disturbing.

I published my first paper in the Journal of __________.
I was trying to see the space shuttle Endeavour fly into Los Angeles, but all I saw was _________.
I went to the post office to get space-themed stamps, but the only theme left was _________.
If the Curiosity mission was made into a movie, _________ would star as _________.
If the Curiosity mission was turned into a sitcom, it would be called _________.
It could be basalt, it could be __________.
Landing on Mars would've been a lot easier if it hadn't been for _________.
NASA may have named Curiosity's landing site "Bradbury Landing" but I like to call it _________.
Next on Cosmos, Dr. Tyson discusses _________.
Opportunity has set the record for longest _________ on another world.
Scientists are perplexed that Mount Sharp is almost completely made up of __________.
Scientists spend a lot of time Photoshopping _________ out of images from Mars.
That ChemCam spectrum looks a lot like __________.
That drive path leads straight to __________.
That science discussion on __________ made me think about __________.
The discovery of _________ represents a new horizon for mankind.
The gravitational pull of _________ is so great that not even _________ can escape.
The Mars Society has proposed a new way to get to Mars using _________.
The Morse code on Curiosity's wheels actually says __________.
The new experiment rack on the International Space Station is studying _________.
The next NASA mission will be funded by _________.
The original names for the Mars Exploration Rovers were _________ and _________.
The Radioisotope Thermoelectric Generator is not powered by plutonium, but by _________.
We need more _________ in order to better understand _________.
What Discovery proposal just got rejected?
What have scientists discovered in orbit around Uranus?
What is Elon Musk's newest venture?
What was unfortunately descoped from the Curiosity payload?
When colonizing a new planet, it's essential to bring _________.
When Curiosity sampled drilled material for the first time, the rover found _________.
When Curiosity turned on the UV lights, what lit up?
Who is the next guest speaker at the NASA Social?
#pewpew.
2001: A Mars Odyssey.
A back of the envelope calculation.
A black hole.
A blue polo shirt from Curiosity's landing night.
A ChemCam tattoo.
A cock and balls drawn in the dirt using a Mars rover.
A comet.
A comet's tail.
A coronal mass ejection.
A punctured aluminum rover wheel.
A despondent Pluto.
A disgruntled engineer.
A Dragon capsule.
A failed sequence.
A First Law of Robotics violation.
A five-wheeled rover.
A friendly tickle with the Rock Abrasion Tool.
A full battery charge.
A galactic bulge.
A Gemini capsule.
A globular cluster.
A gravitational assist.
A laconic Mars rover driver.
A lone Martian microbe.
A Martian helicopter.
A Martian terrorist stealing Curiosity's plutonium power source.
A mass spectrometer.
A Mercury capsule.
A missed high five.
A NASA administrator.
A NASA press conference.
A NASA security badge.
A passive-aggressive Seven of Nine.
A rocker bogie suspension system.
A rover arm to the nads.
A scorching ball of plasma.
A significant increase in entropy.
A Soyuz capsule.
A steady-state universe.
A supernova.
A Titan Uranus probe.
A torn parachute.
A trampoline-based propulsion system.
Accidentally shooting Curiosity with ChemCam.
Accretion disk.
An Apollo astronaut.
An Apollo capsule.
An ejecta blanket.
An extroverted engineer.
An impact crater.
An Orion capsule.
An uppity Mars rover driver.
Another goddamn postdoc.
Another goddamn soil scoop.
Another useless crater count.
Another news story about water on Mars.
Another trip to the testbed.
Another unidentifiable acronym.
Being a motherfucking astronaut.
Being shot and abandoned by a Mars rover.
Bill Nye's bowties.
Blue prints of robots.
Captain Janeway with PMS.
Carl Sagan's vast collection of turtlenecks.
ChemCam.
Chris Hadfield.
Comet Siding Springs.
Curiosity giving the middle finger with its drill bit.
Curiosity hopelessly impaled on a pointy rock.
Deimos.
Dwarf planet Ceres.
Earth.
Education and public outreach.
Ejecta transfer.
Elon Musk.
Exoplanets.
Failed reaction wheels.
Fuck Crater.
Galileo.
Getting screwed out of an off-world record because the Russians changed their mind.
Gravity waves.
Having the whole world forget you exist because another Mars rover landed.
Hubble expansion.
Interplanetary cubesats.
Juno.
Leia's buns.
Mars.
Mars Pathfinder.
Mars Polar Imploder.
Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter.
Mars time.
Mars, bitches!
Mercury.
Mir.
Mission success.
Mohawk Guy.
Mount Sharp.
Neil Armstrong.
Neptune.
New Horizons.
NSFW holodeck programs.
Opportunity.
Our robot overlords.
Overly honest methods.
People for the Ethical Treatment of Robots.
Perchlorinated asshole.
Phallic rockets.
Phobos.
Photons.
Planetary protection.
Pluto.
Popping a wheelie in the Mars yard.
Robots.
Satellites.
Saturn.
Situational awareness.
Skylab.
Socially awkward scientists.
Solar conjunction.
Space shuttle Atlantis.
Space shuttle Challenger.
Space shuttle Columbia.
Space shuttle Discovery.
Space shuttle Endeavour.
Spirit.
Stephen Hawking.
Surprisingly gray rocks.
Tango Delta Nominal.
That Mars mission where they fucked up the unit conversions.
The Alpha Particle X-ray Spectrometer.

The Arecibo Observatory.
The asteroid belt.
The bits and pieces of a crashed descent stage.
The Cassini-Huygens mission.
The Columbia disaster.
The Curiosity Mars rover.
The Dawn mission.
The Deep Space Network.
The deer at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
The ghost of Carl Sagan.
The Goldilocks zone.
The Hubble Space Telescope.
The International Space Station.
The James Webb Space Telescope.
The Kuiper belt.
The last bit.
The metric system.
The minor inconvenience of an alien popping out of your abdomen.
The moon.
The PM science block.
The rocket launcher.
The Sequester.
This card cannot be shown due to the International Traffic in Arms Regulations (ITAR).
Threatening to kill Spirit when faced with a 40% budget cut.
Titanium wheels.
Tweeting while wearing 3D glasses.
Unrealistic expectations.
Using a skycrane to land 683,500 jelly beans on Mars.
Valles Marineris.
Venus.
Vesta.
Viking.
Voyager.
Wearing 3D glasses instead of sunglasses.
Wil Wheaton crashing an actual spaceship.

Women in the workplace.
Yet another goddamn geologist wearing socks with sandals.
Yuri Gagarin.
Grads Research Psychology: General
A custom fan expansion created by Redditor Rohkey.
Creator's Note: Niche set that I created as a 2017 Christmas gift to my partner who is, like me, a
psychology Ph.D. student. The set is loosely divided into three subsets: grad school, research and
publication, and psychology. To fully enjoy each subset, some level of familiarity or experience
with the theme is necessary. Some cards are not original, and some are adaptations of existing
official CAH and unofficial (fan and third party) cards. I have only played CAH a handful (15 or
so) times; I tried my best to follow the grammar and voice of the official cards, but I will remove
bad cards and consider adding more as these cards get played in real CAH games. To that end, feel
free to send any suggestions and feedback to cdraheim90@gmail.com.
The _____ of a graduate student. Coming to a theatre near you!
_____ and _____: two ideas for my first year project that my advisor rejected
_____ should be taught in grad school.
_____, well that’s an awkward topic to have to give a class lecture on.
_____, yep that’s grad school in a nutshell.
A recent survey showed that grad students are 50% more likely to have problems with _____.
Ah, graduate school. A place for _____ and _____.

Applying for grad school? One suggestion: _____
Being a grad student has opened my eyes to the world of _____.

Grad school would be better with more _____ and less _____.
Hello OKCupid. I am a lonely, overworked, underpaid graduate student searching for
companionship. If you date me, I can guarantee ___.
I love teaching, but there is always that one student who insists on asking questions about _____.
I really wouldn’t trust that professor I’m pretty sure she’s _____.
Instead of B’s, what really makes Ph.D.'s?
My time in graduate school can be characterized by an excess of _____and a lack of _____.
Step 1: Apply to grad school.
Step 2: _____.
Step 3: _____.
Today is finally the day of my dissertation defense, in which I get to discuss my research on _____.
We all know that _____. is frowned upon in graduate school. But we all still do it.
Well, that class was a waste of time. The professor spent half of the lectures talking about his
opinion on _____.
What does every Ph.D. student desire?
What is something you’d expect to see on a Ph.D. student’s online dating profile?
What makes freshman intro students so annoying?
What never fails to cheer up a grad student?
What’s the best way to shock a grad student?
What’s the key to surviving grad school?
What’s the most important thing I learned from grad school?
What's really to blame for me failing my dissertation defense?
Why did I apply for graduate school?
Why did I get kicked out of my grad school program?
Why did my last relationship with a graduate student fail?
Why do grad students have 30% more depression?
Why is the graduate student in the crying in the corner of the room in the fetal position?
Why will no graduate school programs accept me?
Yeah I’m a grad student. But it could be worse, I could be _____.
8:00 AM lab meetings.

A doctoral degree.
A grad student in way over their head.
A graduate student questioning his or her life choices.
A grumpy dissertation committee member.
A mob of sleep-deprived, hungry, and broke grad students.
A slice of cold pizza, two shots of bourbon, and three cups of coffee.
A useless IT guy.
A wild graduate student appears!
Accepting a post doc position to further delay having to be an adult.
An online doctoral program.
An overwhelmed graduate student.
An unstable graduate student, a bottle of booze, and $500,000 worth of lab equipment.
Applying for graduate school just to extend student debt deferment.
Being 30 years old and still making less than $20,000 a year.
Being a grad student for 9 years.
Being a graduate student.
Being a poor and lonely graduate student.
Being asked “How long until you graduate?” on a weekly basis.
Being drunk in class.
Choosing between grad school or unemployment.
Expecting to get a high paying job after grad school.
Forgetting that spring break is supposed to be an actual break.
Forgetting to attach a document to an email you just sent.
Free pizza in the grad student lounge.
Fucking your student.
Getting called into the Office of Human Resources.
Getting drunk instead of prepping for your lecture tomorrow.
Getting into grad school but finding out it was only due to your advisor thinking you’d put out.
Getting kicked out of grad school.
Giving a lecture on a topic you know next-to-nothing about.
Going to a department gathering solely for the free food and booze.
Grading 150 full-essay tests by the end of the weekend.
Graduate school stipends.
Graduate students who actually have money.
Having a crush on your graduate advisor.
Having to accept a one year visiting professor position.
Having to explain why your half-assed Master’s thesis matters to an unimpressed committee
member .
Having to fight bureaucracy every step of the way.
Hearing one more freshman proclaim that they are a sophomore by credit hours.
Intro students’ lack of life experience.
Kinda wanting to fuck my student, but knowing it may get me fired.
Making roughly $60K a year as an assistant professor? Sign me up!
Marrying your grad student.
My grad school advisor.
My student’s insatiable sex drive.
Paying a student $50 to format your dissertation paper.
Perpetual imposter syndrome.
Realizing that the Lego grad student is an unnervingly accurate depiction of your life.
Roughly 5 years of hell, if department milestones are completed in a timely manner.
Saying “Fuck it” and quitting a Ph.D. program after receiving your Master’s degree.
Studying for the Graduate Record Examinations (G.R.E.).
Summer funding.
Surprisingly rich, for a graduate student.
Terminal Master’s programs.
That feeling of despair that only a grad student can understand.
That graduate student lifestyle.
That kid who has taken your class three times already and still cannot pass.
That one female student who will do ANYTHING to get an A in the class.
That one professor who seems a little too friendly with his female students.
The feeling of dread when your advisor calls you at 10:00 PM.
The onset of inescapable anxiety when you’ve run out of reasons to procrastinate.
The politics of grad school.
Throwing away your marriage and career in academia for 4 minutes of sex with a hot freshman.
Libertarians Against Humanity Vol. 2
http://libertariansagainsthumanity.com/
Libertarians Against Humanity is an unofficial Cards Against Humanity expansion BY

LIBERTARIANS, FOR LIBERTARIANS… AGAINST LIBERTARIANS
A post-scarcity utopia could be achieved now that we have _____.

According to a Salon article, libertarianism will eventually devolve into _____.
Adam Kokesh was most recently arrested for _____.
ANARCHY?! BUT WHO WILL BUILD THE _____?!
Did you hear Free Talk Live last night? Ian said _____ is a great form of activism.
Having outgrown childish libertarian fantasies, I now believe in _____.
I was reading excerpts from the old Ron Paul Newsletter; I can't believe he said _____ are _____!
In the updated version of "Defending the Undefendable," Walter Block defends _____.
Jan Helfeld trolls _____ using the Socratic method.
Libertarians have to recognize that their ideology will never be accepted by _____.
The Ethics of Liberty by Murray Rothbard says "The law may not forbid _____."
The new compeditor to The Silk Road got shut down for selling _____.
True libertarians always be _____.
True libertarians never be _____.

While pounding the desk and frothing at the mouth, Alex Jones screeched "_____ IS TYRANNY!"
YouTuber "FringeElements" announces he's no longer a libertarian and now describes himself as
_____.
A 'no smoking' sign on the Statue of Liberty.

A 2 dollar donation.
A bunch of socialists.
hot libertarian woman getting lots of hits on YouTube recycling verbatim things she heard on
LRN.
A lengthily Paul Krugman article about the mortgage crisis.
A social contract.
A task almost as unbearable as explaining the Economic Calculation Problem to a Zeitgeister.
Agorism.
Anarcho-monarchism.
Arguing with other libertarians about the nuances of the NAP.
Bitcoin.
Broadcasting into space to planet LibPar2019 in the Alpha Centauri region.
Buying a sheet of acid on The SilkRoad.
Christopher Cantwell.
Colloidal uranium enemas to keep away the New World Order.
DeFOO.
DeFOOing your parents only to reFOO because getting a job sucks.
Flouride in the tap water.
FringeElements.
Gadsden flags.
Global warming.
Gun Owners of America.
Intellectual Property.
Investing in Galt's Gulch Chile.
Jury nullification.
Larken Rose; the mom jean-wearing leprechaun.
Libertarian welfare queens.
Making YouTube videos about Austrian Economics and the virtues of rugged individualism from
your mom's basement.
Marx's Labor Theory of Value.
New Hampshire; a wonderful libertarian paradise where the roadss are paved with Bitcoin.
Objectivism.
Passing out FIJA flyers not to inform potential jurors of their rights, but to get off jury duty.
Piers Morgan.
Saying everything you don't like is 'unconstitutional'.

Shooting mail carriers.
Spanking.
Syndication via LRN satellite to one guy in Africa.
The Federal Reserve.
The futility of the voting process.

The gun in the room.
The Illuminati.
The iron fist.
The Mises Institute.
The NSA.
The shitty Atlas Shrugged movies.
Therightstuff.biz.
Thinking carefully about everything you are about to say to avoid using the term 'we' so as not to
imply collectivism.
Thousands of DogeCoins worth approximately 23 cents.
bring about
Trying to explain a free society
the reason by selling
why people jars ofof
are critical homemade
you comesjam outtheir
from of your
pastgarage.
childhood
trauma.
Voluntarily letting your children starve.
WORMS!
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Carbs Against Humanity
https://kitchenoverlord.com/free-carbs-against-humanity-top-8-geektastic-cards-against-humanity-decks/
A food themed fan expansion that was awarded as a stretch goal for the Kitchen Overlord Illustrated Geek
Cookbook Kickstarter.
________ melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

_________ instigates a celestial war between Angel Food and Deviled Eggs.
_________ is taking a bite out of crime.
_________ on my _________ looks like Jesus.
_________ puts the "can" in "cannibal".
__________ and _________. Two great tastes that taste great together.
__________ tastes so great, cats ask for it by name!
_________, Crayola's new edible flavor.
_________, it's the new super-food!

_________, it's white people food!
_________! Taste the rainbow!

_________? Grab a Sinckers!
_________. It does a body good.
_________. It's what's for dinner!

_________. Tastes great, less filling.
_________. The other, other, other white meat.
_________. Try it. You'll like it.
________: Hell is a buttery place.
According to Professor Farnsworth's Smell-O-Scope, you're secretly made from _________.
After last week's ritual sacrifice, the High Priest slipped _________ in my doggie bag.
After the zombie apocalypse, we were so hungry we made soup from _________.
All these worlds are yours, except _________.

Bigger than a breadbox, smaller than _________.
Budweiser! The King of _________.
Captain Crunch was dishonorably discharged for his secret _________.
Cometh the Singularity, we'll all be trading in ________.
Cthulhu feeds off my madness and my ________.
Damn you, ________, for your sudden but inevitable betrayal.

District 9 Cat Food! Now available in _________ flavor.
Don't feed them _________ after midnight.
Down and Out in the Magic _________.
Elon Musk's Mars colony went insane, after someone slipped _________ in the water supply.
Even Adrew Zimmerman wouldn't eat _________.
Frosted _________. They're Grrrrrrreat!
Got _________?
Hours of energy. No _________ later.
Huitlacoche, the demon corn of _________.
I keep Jackalopes ready for combat with a steady diet of _________.
I learned to lovec erotic fanfic after I read the heartwarming pairing of __________ and _________.
I love the texture of _________ in my mouth.

I season my zombie jerky with ___________.
I spent three weeks trapped in a dungeon crawl, and all I got was some canned food I found inside a dead
Gelatinous Cube, and _________.
I summon the devil in my deviled eggs with _________.

I would do _________ for a Klondike bar.
I would've gotten away with it, if not for __________, _________, and those damn kids!
I'd go back inside the Matrix for a taste of _________.

I'd rather eat crow than eat ________.
If you don't cut your food into octagons, President Roslin will throw you out the airlock, or make you eat a _________.
If you like hearts, stars, and clovers, you'll love the new Lucky Charms marshmallow, __________.
In the alternate universe where _________ tastes like _________, then _________.
Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know when you'll get _________.
Lose the __________, not the taste.
Mentos! The __________ maker!
Miracle Max's Chocolate Covered ________.
Miskatonic University's famous cafeteria calamari is secretly made from _________.
My corner Asian market now stocks live octopus, alien xenomorphs, and _________.
My cream filling is 100% pure _________.
My favorite jellybean flavor is _________.
My fortune cookie says I can expect a _________ in bed.
My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my _________. Prepare to die.
No, honest. I never told the replicator to make me ________.
Nuclear apocalypse survivor jerky has a half-life longer than _________.
On this week's episode of Man vs. Food, Adam eats a _________.
On top of spaghetti, all covered with cheese, I lost my poor _________, when somebody sneezed.
Our tribute won the Hunger Games by the cunning use of a _________.
Pepperidge Farms remembers _________.
Pop rocks in your __________.
Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say __________.
Red Bull gives you _________.
Remember to coat the prisoner in _________ before feeding him to the Sarlacc.
Rory's bachelor party took a dark turn, when a _________ exploded from his comically oversized cake, instead of a
stripper.
Sily Rabbit! Trix are for _________.
Soylent Green is _________.

Soylent Green is really made from _________.
Super Vegan Powers activate! Form of _________! Shape of _________!
That time I ate _________ and twelves hours later a xenomorph burst from my chest.
That's not a moon! It's a _________!
The _________ mostly come out at night. Mostly.
The best justification for cannibalism.
The best part of waking up is _________ in your cup.
The best thing about hosting a party on the Holodeck is _________.
The cake is a _________.
The lastest Steampunk Goggles are made from brass, leather, and _________.
The most disturbing thing on Batman's Utility Belt.
The only thing Nikola Tesla loved more than pigeons.
The only thing worse than Vogon poetry is __________.
The real secret behind Patrick Stewart's immortality is a steady diet of _________.
The real secret ingredient in Dibbler's pies is _________.
The scariest thing about sleeping with an alien is the _________.
The secret ingredient in Ding Dongs' cream filling is really _________.

There can only be ONE ___________.
There's only one thing that smells like bacon, and that's _________.
They say everything tastes just like chicken, except for Graboids, which taske just like _________.
This _________ is so ovber-cooked, it _________.
This is your brain. This is your brain on _________.
This week on Drunk History, Dolly Madison eat a _________.
This week, the Doctor and _________ visit a planet where the locals eat nothing but _________.
Tribble-kabobs are best served with _________.
We found _________ in Grandma's fridge, and it was still good.
When Sunnydale High School students snort staked vampire dust, they hallucinate _________.
When you have the munchies so bad you eat ________.
Who ya gonna call? _________.
Winter is coming, and so is _________.
Would you eat it in a _________? Woud you eat it with a _________.
You used so much _________ it _________-ed.
Zombie, Pirate, Robot, _________.
24-inch salami.
5 Hour Energy.
50 Shades of Chicken.
A Cunning Hat.
A Feast of Crows.
A poisoned apple.
A Raspberry Beret.
A shot glass full of Super Soldier serum.
A writhing plate of live gagh.
Alton Brown's food-science gone wrong.
An Unexpected Cookbook.
Anal probe.
Ankh-Morpork's second worst street food.
Bachelor Chow.
Bacon.
BBQ pterodactyl wings.
Blueberrified Violet Beauregarde.
Budweiser Clydesdale equine shaft.
Captain Hook's Cruelty-Guaranteed 100% Fresh Mermaid Patties.
Carb-free cabbage.
Cheese made from human breastmilk.
Chestburters.
Chinese medicine made from tiger penises.
Chocolate Bear.
Chris Hardwick's alternate-universe evil goatee.
Crackers.
Cthulhu Calamari.
Daryl Dixon's squirrel sushi.
Dave Lister's Curries.
Deep-fried mayonnaise.
Dehydrated Kiwi.
Demon George Washington's wooden teeth.
Demonic possession by Paula Deen.
Dick-shaped cakes.
Dining with the Docotor.
Dog food made from retired donkey show employees.
Dragon Meat Ceviche.
Durian.
Ecto Coolers.
Edible gears.
Explosive diarrhea.
Fava beans and Chianti.
Finger Lickin' Good.
Fish fingers and custard.
Five-dollar footlong.
Food cubes.
Food porn.
Fried chicken, watermelon, and purple drank.
Fruit Loops.
Gas station egg salad sandwich from the future.
Gas Station Sushi.
Gerber Low-Flow Latex Nipples.
Gingerbread hipster eyeglasses.
Gluten.
Golden eggs.
Green Eggs and Ham.
Gushers.
Half-rotted zombie brains.
Hatin' on the darkness like Paula Deen.
Hawaiian Spam Sushi.
How to Serve Man.
Humperdink!<br>Humperdink!<br>Humperdink!
Hunger Game tribute's last meal.
Illustrated Geek Recipes.
Inconceivable!
It looked different on Pinterest.
Jedi refectory cafeteria food.
Jello Jigglers.
Jesus on your grilled-cheese sandwich.
Kaiju meat.
Kale, couscous, and day-old semen.
Keebler All-Elf Orgy.
Kitchen Overlord.
Lactose intolerance.
Lazarus Long's mother.
Lemon Puckers.
Made from real Girl Scouts.
Magically delicious.
Mammoth kabobs.
Martha Stewart's prison bitch.
Me Lucky Charms.
Meow Mix.
Mn O'War drunk on Manischewitz.
Molecular gastronomy.
Monkeys beating sticks against an obelisk.
More Damn Absinthe.
Mudder's Milk.
Necronomicon for Dummies.
New Coke.
Nightmare fuel.
Now fortified with extra gluten!
One night with Bea Arthur.
P.B.R.
Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster.
Penis-shaped bong.
Pizza Planet.
Pop Rocks.
Popplers.
Pork Belly.
Post-apocalyptic canned goods.
Ragnar Lothbrook's baby-goat fetish.
Rainbow-colored unicorn meat.
Redshirts.
Riker's beard.
Rocky Mountain Oysters.
Roofies.
Roomba fighting ring.
Sacramental wine.
SadTech Rations from 2077.
Sarah Connor's home cooking.
Sashimi eaten off Wolverine's claws.
Scrambled Cyberman brains.
Second Breakfast.
Shake and Baked.
Slitheen Eggs.
Slurm.
Sookie's Fairy Blood.
Soylent Green.
Spatchcocking.
Spice weasel.
Spock's beard.
Spoiled Polyjuice potion.
Spoo.
Spookie's Magical Fairy Vagina.
SteamDrunks.
Sticky Buns.
Stuffing E.T. with Reese's Pieces.
Survivor of the Cola wars.
Sweet, sweet fish eyes.
T-9000 Gear Lube.
Teddy Roosevelt's mustache.
Tesla's electrocuted testicles.
The Body of Christ.
The Brave Little Toaster.
The delicious tears of children.
The Inn at the Crossroads.
The Magic Box.
The Noshing Dead.
The real contents of Sherlock's fridge.
The realization survivalsts were right all along.
The Spanish Rice Inquisition.
The Spice Melange.
The sweet taste of LARPer sweat.
The Vulcan Nerve Pinch.
Tony the Tiger.
True Blood.
Twinkies.
Unlicensed ice cream truck driver.
Uther Pendragon's Magical Rage Boner.
Vegan zombie hunters.
Vegan zombie.
Vintage brass nuts.
Walker bait.
Waterfall of Fudge.
Why not Zoidberg?
Wil Wheaton's chest hair.
Wood for Sheep.
Wookie Cookies.
X-Men: Days of Future Pabst.
Xena's 6th Chakram.
Xenomorph Eggs.
Zima.
Card Against Gallifrey (ConventionalImprov set)
https://imgur.com/a/F25su
This set was created by ConventionalImprov for the 50th Anniversay of Dr. Who.
________ was sent to save ________.

According to the Daleks, ________ is better at ________.
Adepose were thought to be made of fat, but are really made of ________.
After we watch an episode, I've got some ________-flavored Jelly Babies to hand out.
At this new Doctor Who theme restaurant, you can get a free ________ if you can eat a plate of bangers and mash in
under 3 minutes.
Boweties are ________.
FUN FACT: The Daleks were originally shaped to look like ________.
I hear the ntext theing that will cause The Doctor to regenerate is ________.
I think the BBC is losing it. They just released a Doctor Who-themed ________.
I was okay with all the BAD WOLF graffiti, until someone wrote it on ________.
I'd give up ________ to travel with The Doctor.
In all of time and space, you decide that ________ is a good choice?!
It's a little-known fact that if you send a ________ to the BBC, they will send you a picture of The Doctor.
Jack Harkness, I can't leave you alone for a minute! I turn around and you're trying to seduce ________.
Old and busted: “EXTERMINATE!” New hotness: ________.
Originally, the 50 th anniversary special was going to have ________ appear, but the BBC decided against it in the
end.
the announced a LEGO Doctor Who game! Rumor has it that ________ is an unlockable character.
The boice chip of one of the Cybermen has malfunctioned. Instead of saying “DELETE!”, it now says “________”.
The Chameleon circuit is working again... somewhat. Instead of a phone booth, the TARDIS is now a ________.
The Doctor did it! He saved the world again! This time using a ________.
The next Doctor Who spin-off is going to be called ________.
There's a new dance on Fallifrey, it's called the ________.
They found some more lost episodes! They were found in ________.
What's going to be The Doctor's new catch phrase?
Who is going to be The Doctor's next companion?

Who should be the 13 th doctor?
Wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey ________.
A "Doctor Who" body pillow.

A bigger, bluer TARDIS.
A blinged-out TARDIS, blasting dubstep when it is travelling.
A Costco-sized bag of Jelly Babies.
A fez caked with semen.

A furry writing BAD WOLF everywhere.
A global simulcast that forces Whovians to see sunlight for the first time in ages.
A GUITARDIS.
A kid in a gas mask asking if you are his mummy.

A Rusty Cyberman.
A shitty Doctor Who knock-knock joke.
A sonic screwdriver stuck on the vibrate setting.

A Vashta Nerada that just wants a hug.
Air from my lungs.
An acid rain shower on Skaro.
An Ood getting a starring role in a hentai.
Being used as a plot device by Steven Moffat.
Captain Jack Harkness.
Christopher Eccleston.
Companion Porn.
Dalek porn.
David Tennant.
Davros getting up on the wrong side of the bed.
Drunkenly drawing tally marks on your face.
Eggs.
Fapping to Billie Piper protraying a callgirl.
Fifty years of fanfic.
Finding Autons oddly attractive.
Fish fingering your custard.
Fondling a Dalek's slippery bits.
Getting so much plastic surgery, you have to be framed and moisturized.
Giving her the ol' plastic Mickey.

Glenn Beck convulsively puking as a brood of Daleks swarm in on him.
Just now realizing that “Torchwood” is an anagram of “Doctor Who”.
K-9 humping your leg.
Kidnapping a barely-legal woman to time travel with.
Low-budget special effects.
Matt Smith.
Opening the door of the TARDIS and leaving a deuce in the time-space continuum.
Plot holes so wide, you could drive a truck through them.

Pointing to your crotch and saying “Allons-y”.
Pouting in a rain storm and having to take a wicked piss.
Quitting this pannel after one round, because you are afraid of getting typecast.
River Song.
Robot Anne Robinson.
Rose Tyler's teeth.
Sharing a public restroom with a weeping angel.
Siltheen farts.
Sixteen feet of scarf bondage.
Smoking 1,000 cigarettes, just so you can sound like a Dalek when you talk.
Sorry, this answer is only available in the fanfic version of Cards Against Con.
Steven Moffatt taking a big old dump in your Cheerios.
Taking a Doctor Poo.
The big banana in your pocket.
The buzzing noise that the Sonic Screwdriver makes.
The Celestial Toymaker's “plaything”.
The dhideousness that is Raxacorico-fallaptorious.
The Doctor going back in time to solve a REAL problem: “Twilight”.
The Doctor having a chance encounter with a couple of 80's metalheads.
THE END OF TIME ITSELF!
The fuck machine dungeon of the Cybermen.
The Mary Jane Adventures.
The Master singing “Bad Case of Loving You.”
The Master, baiting – The doctor into a trap.
The poor costume decisions that were the 1970's.
The poor decision that is having a staring contest with a weeping angel.
The Silence.
Tom Baker, in nothing but a scarf.
Walking in on Jack Harkness doing your mom. And your dad.
Wanting to punch that teeny-bopper Whovian that's butthurt the new Doctor isn't in his twenties.
Wishing you could regenerate.
Your dyslexic friend that wants you to come watch a marathon of “Doctor How”.
Cards Against Misogyny
https://www.themarysue.com/the-mary-sue-cards-against-humanity/
A set created by The Mary Sue blog.
_________ and _________ are my NOTP.

_________ apocalypse.
_________ feels.
_________ gives me life.
_________ really gets me going.
A gift of neon _________.
Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of _________.
Benedict Cumberbatch was _________ all along.
Cosplay is neither consent nor _________.
Elon Musk showed of his new _________.
Fake Geek _________.
Genderswapped _________.
Get back to the kitchen and make me a _________.
Have you heard the Doctor's new catchphrase?: _________.
I am vengeance. I am the night. I am _________.
I definitely ship _________ with _________.
I'm not racist or anything, but I really don't like _________.
If I were a Game of Thrones character, my house sigil would be _________.
Internet commenters are _________.
It's dangerous to go alone! Take _________!
Jar Jar Binks is better than _________, but not by much.
Lara Croft and the Guardian of ________.
Man, _________has really gone downhill lately.
May the _________ be with you.
Missed out on getting your Comic Con pass? Have you tried _________ instead?
Moon Tiara _________.
NASA has announced that _________ may be headed on a collision course with _________.
Not all _________.
Set phasers to ________.

Star Wars Episode IX - Revenge of the _________.
The Doctor's new sonic screwdriver looks like a _________.
The new Avengers movie was great until they added ________.
The results of a new study found that there is a direct link between _________ and _________.
The ultimate Jaegr vs. Kaiju battle: _________ vs. _________.
The worst fic I ever read had _________ as lube.
There's no sense crying over every mistake, you just keep on trying 'til you run out of _________.
Ubisoft: "We can't put a playable female character in the new Assassin's Creed because of _________."
When you're going to a comic convention, always bring _________.
WHERE. ARE. MY. _________?!
Why is there no Wonder Woman movie yet?
#YesAllWomen.
A disco-dancing alien mermaid.
A GIF of Tom Hiddleston licking his lips.
A Grand Theft Auto game with playable female characters.
All men.
An overdeveloped sense of entitlement.
Batfleck.
Bees?
Bronies.
Bucky Barnes' eye make-up.
Chain mail bikinis.
Climate change deniers.
Food shaped like butts.
Gamma ray-induced boners.
Hail Hydra.
Hawkeye contorted into an uncomfortable pretzel shape.
Humping in space.
Lens flares.
Misandry.
Movie posters where you can see the lady's butt and her boobs at the same time.
NC-17 slash fiction.
Not all men.
Pizza Dog.
Playing "devil's advocate".
Pooping in a space suit.
Rule 34.
Samus' rocket heels.
Science Bros.
Spoilers.
Steampunk Disney versions of everyone's favorite Batman villians.
Superhero dildos.
Superwholockians.
Tatiana Maslany.
The feminist agenda.
The Mary Sue.
The New 52.
Tumblr.
White people.
Grads Research Psychology: Research and Publication
Creator's Note: Niche set that I created as a 2017 Christmas gift to my partner who is, like me, a psychology Ph.D.
student. The set is loosely divided into three subsets: grad school, research and publication, and psychology. To
fully enjoy each subset, some level of familiarity or experience with the theme is necessary. Some cards are not
original, and some are adaptations of existing official CAH and unofficial (fan and third party) cards. I have only
played CAH a handful (15 or so) times; I tried my best to follow the grammar and voice of the official cards, but I
will remove bad cards and consider adding more as these cards get played in real CAH games. To that end, feel free
to send any suggestions and feedback to cdraheim90@gmail.com.
____?! Why is THAT part of the study’s methodology?

“Dear researchers, we openly invite you to submit your research on the topic of _____. We feel this is an emerging
field with a lot of potential.”
A recent factor analysis revealed that there are three orthogonal dimensions of _____.
After the action editor gave me a revise and resubmit, I decided that my manuscript could be improved by
including more discussion on _____.
Dear researcher, we regret to inform you that your manuscript submission to our peer-reviewed journal entitled
“The effects of _____ on _____” has been rejected.
For obvious reasons, research on _____ cannot be ethically done on humans.

For rejecting my manuscript submission, I sure hope reviewer #2 suffers a hardship in the form of _____. Yeah, I’m
that vindictive.
Have you seen that controversial new paper? A meta-analysis on the effects of _____ on minorities.
How do I cope with my inability to find a statistically significant result?

I can't decide which is more rewarding: My publication reaching 100 citations, or _____.
I was rather intrigued by this recent paper, the authors spent half of the intro section talking about _____.
Instead of ANOVA, I decided to analyze my data with _____.
The good news: Our grant proposal was accepted. The bad news: We have to include _____ in the project now.
What’s the best way to guarantee that your manuscript is accepted into a good journal?
What’s the only thing better than having a manuscript accepted for publication?
Why are all of my participants withdrawing from the experiment halfway through?
Why did I fire my research assistant?
Why did my experiment have a 90% attrition rate?
Why did one of my research participants die in the middle of a study?
A correlation of r = 1.30.
A manifestation of regression to the mean.
A poorly conducted data analysis.
A really, really poor experimental design.
A research assistant you suspect might be gay and into you.
A two-tailed t-test.
An erection approaching statistical significance.
An overly enthusiastic research assistant.
An unnecessarily long and detailed methods section.
Asking a research assistant to pick up my laundry.
Assuming causation from a correlation.
Charging $10,000 worth of personal items to your research grant.
Discovering that a confounding variable has ruined your entire experiment.
Drinking with your 19-year-old research assistant.
Ending a sentence with “further research is needed.”
Experimenter bias.
Failing to report that 95% of your participants withdrew from the study.
Faking data.
Faking data and still finding null results.
Forgetting to include a control group.
Getting fired for self-plagiarism.
Giving a half-assed conference presentation.
Having five publications, each with 0 citations.
Having to interpret a four-way interaction.
Having your manuscript accepted on the first submission.
Having your manuscript rejected by pay-to-publish journals.
Hooking up at a conference.
Informed consent.
Knowing that “data” is plural.
Knowing that one researcher is a fraud but others think that he is brilliant.
Making strong conclusions based on a single case study.
Multi-university collaboration.
My curriculum vitae.
Null hypothesis significance testing.
p being greater than .05.
Pay-to-publish journals.
Publishing an article in a high-impact journal only to have to retract it due to faulty analyses.
Publishing an article in Science.
Referring to p = .09 as a "marginally significant result."
Reporting an ethical violation to the IRB.
Representative samples.
Reviewer #3.
Revise and resubmit.
Shamelessly removing “outliers” from your data set until your results are significant.
Stalking Google Scholar profiles of people much more successful than you.
Statistical outliers
Statistically significant results.
Submitting 20 study protocols a day just to mess with the IRB.
That pesky third variable.
The benefits of a within-subjects design.
The Institutional Review Board.
The publish or perish culture in academia.
This informed consent nonsense.

Trending towards statistical significance.
Trying to publish an experiment with N= 6.
Trying to publish null results.
Undergraduates with multiple publications.
Writing a manuscript using big words to hide the fact that you do not know what you’re talking about.
Libertarians Against Humanity is an unofficial Cards Against Humanity expansion BY LIBERTARIANS, FOR
LIBERTARIANS… AGAINST LIBERTARIANS
______ says "I'm ______; the opposite of what America does."

AUDIT ______!
Dagny Taggart hated when people used the clicheé "Who is ______?"
Derrick J. was denied a concealed carry permit because he was found guilty of ______.
I thought Jacob Spinney's video essay "______ Is Not Great: How ______ Poisons Everything" was really good.
I tried smoking ______ one time at PorcFest.
I was on a panel about ______ at Keenevention.
If we didn't have the USDA telling people what to eat, they'd eat ______ or ______!
In the new Bleeding Heart Libertarians blog article, ______ rustled Steven Horowitz's jimmies.
Shield Mutual is now providing insurance to cover libertarian activists in cases of ______.
The Biggest Bogon Emitter for the Bogosity Podcast this week was ______.
The people demand that FeenPhone should also be available for ______.
The real problem with government is ______.

TheNeedleDrop reviewed the BlackAcidLizzard album "______ are Filthy Jews" as "poorly conceived" and "sloppily
executed."
What had Lee "HowTheWorldWorks" Doren upset about Obama this week? ______.
What will finally rid us of the state?
A 15-year old yak farmer who knows more about Austrian Economics than you do.
A bigger, dumber statist.
A bug dumb statist.
A Che shirt bought at The GAP.
A comment by ObjectivistGirl subtly hinting a 4-way with Galt, Rearden, and D'Anconia.
A de facto government.
A Guy Fawkes mask; the tinfiol-hat of the new millenium.
A transhumanist, collectivist, LGBT-fascist who is also a eugenist.
Actually opposing roads as a concept.
AlterNet articles about a dystopian libertarian world.
AM I FREE TO GO?
Anarchists running for president.
Arresting people for feeding parking meters.
Asking if you should upload cock pics on Facebook.
Bear mace.
Being reminded that a BEARCAT isn't actually a tank because tanks don't have tires.
Brutalism.
Changing the subject to enchiladas to shut your stupid son up about anarchy.
Chemtrails.
Christian Reconstructionism.
Complaining that the mainstream media is government propaganda but watching Russia Today instead.
Dropping it like it's Hoppe.
Edward Snowden.
Fapping to Belle Knox.
Getting blocked by the Being Liberal page for pointing out F.D.R. implemented concentration camps.
Giggling at the unintended pun of "Log Cabin Republicans."
Jeffrey Tucker's pink pastel bow-tie.
Letting your kids play in the mud all day and calling it "school."
Monsanto.
Moving to Somalia.
Overmind's stinky cum stained British Red Coat uniform.
Paleo diet.
Penn Jillette's ear shattering cackle.
Peter Joseph's Mao Zedong jacket.

Private Defence Angencies.
Proclaiming "self-ownership" and can't define "self."
Rape rooms.
Reason Magazine stealing your crappy Libertarian Cards Against Humanity expansion idea.
Selling DVDs on how to avoid taxes without going to jail even after you went to jail for trying.
Some unfunny British comedian using Ron Paul's "REVOLution" logo for his book to seem clever.
State's rights.
Stoned rabbits.
That feeling when finding out Ron Swanson is portrayed by a liberal.
The biggest, dumbest statist.
The crappy new bumper music for Free Talk Live.
The government documents right here.
The only objective and axiomatic philosophy on morality that I unwittingly violate daily by simply driving a car.
The shambling corpse of Harry Browne.
The SPLC.
Thinking all libertarians are members of the Libertarian Party.
Tom Woods.
Vaccines.
Victimizing store clerks by selling untaxed cigarettes outside.
Victimless crimes.
Writing an "unauthorized autobiography" for a dead tyrant.
Special Set
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The Card Game That Can't Be Named
https://www.camprojectsllc.com/
A Harry Potter themed fan expansion that was originally created as "Cards Against Muggles", but they had to
change the name of the set due to copyright infringment.
______ beyond measure is man's greatest treasure.

______ is forbidden to students.
______ is my horcrux.
______ is the real reason Salazar was cast out from the Founders.
______ is the real reason Snape's hair is so greasy.
______ is the reason what happens in the Hufflepuff common room stays in the Hufflepuff common room.
______ is what Professor Trelawney wants to be doing right now.
______ left a stain on my robes.
______ was Snape's last thought.

______, the best horcrux ever!
______@gmail.com
A good day becomes a great day after ______.
According to American wizards, the REAL Unforgivable curse is ______.
After Dumbledore's death, Harry discovered that ______ had really been ______ all along.
After months of practicing magic, I think I'm finally ready for ______.
All hands on ______, Granger!
Another use for the Golden Snitch.
Arthur Weasley has finally discovered the function of a rubber duck. It's ______.
Being trapped in a wardrobe with Snape would be improved by ______.
Dear Rita Skeeter,
I am having trouble with ______ and I need your advice.
Do not ______ at the table!
Draco Malfoy's porn name is Draco "______" Malfoy.

Drunken sorting hat songs titles.
Dudley Dursley and Harry Potter found ______.
During my time at Hogwarts I never really fit in until I found the ______ club.
During Voldemort's final moments, he thought about ______.
Finally, an owl that can bring me _______.
For his latest prank, Peeves switched Madam Hooch's vibrator for _______.
Fred and george invented a new toy that involves ______.
Gilderoy Lockhart's Guide to ______.
Ginny has a secret trunk full of ______.
Hagrid moisturizes his beard with ______.
Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers ______.
Harry has a hard time fitting ______ into Ron's trunk.
Harry Potter and the Chamber of ______.
Harry Potter and the Order of ______.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of ______.
Harry used his vanishing cabinet to make ______ disappear.
Having a problem with your witch? Try ______.
How Cedric discovered the song in the egg.

How does Fleur stay in shape?
How I bribed my way out of Azkaban.
How the Weasleys earn their tuition money.

How to shut up a mandrake.
How was Hagrid conceivbed?
I couldn't turn in my homework assignment because of _______.

I don't need Felix Felicis, I have ______.
I drank some Liquid Luck so that I could ______.
I feel like I would need to know about ______ to understand how to use ______.
I killed Dumbledore! I killed Dumbledore with _______.
I often use the pensieve to look at my memory of ______.
I overdosed on Felix Felicis and found ______.
If I had a time turner, I would use it travel back to _______.
In Azkaban, word is you can trade ______ for ______.
It was disappointing to find I couldn't get ______ from the trolley.
It's a shame the current Hogwarts students aren't more into ______.
J.K. Rowling's next Wizarding novel title.
Listen, Ron, if you get involved in ______, just steer clear of ______.
Looking into the shadowy realms within their orb only to see _______.
Mad Eye Moody secretly loves ______.
Moaning Myrtle has secret meetings about ______.
My Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher got fired for adding _______ to the final exam.
My relationship is solely functioning because of _______.
Peeves' favorite past time.
Professor Fitwick loves _______ with ______.
Professor Slughorn won't get up in front of his potions class without _______.
Reasons Snape invites Harry into his office.
Reasons to put on the invisibility cloak.
Remus Lupin drinks to forget _______.
Ron gave Hermione ______ for Yule.
Ron, what are you eating now?

Rumor is that Voldemort's favorite delicacy is _______ stuffed ________.
Snape's wand has a core of _______.

Someone painted a picture of _______ on the side of my Ford Anglia.
Something Malfoy is not good at.
Sprout's secret kink.
Standard Book of _______, Grade One.
Studies show that wizards navigate mazes 50% faster after being exposed to _______.
Ten thousand points to Gryffindor for _______.
The Chamber of Secrets was originally a site for the ______ trade.
The Floo Network guidelines now prohibit _______.
The most important task of a perfect is ______.
The next Tri-Wizard challenge is _______.
The noises in the Shrieking Shack are caused by ______.
The one thing Fryffindor wouldn't do is ______.
The only true way to calm a werewolf.
The Quidditch Association has banned _______ for giving players an unfair advantage.
The Room of Requirement becomes _______ when I approach.
Things I would like to do with the Weasley twins.
This year was a disaster. It was all because of _______.

Turns out _______ was neither the animagus we needed nor wanted.
Turns out that Luna and Neville shared ______ after the Yule ball.
Voldemort's favorite curse cause ______.
Wand too swishy? Try ______ to stiffen your wand.
We changed our Wizard rock band name. We're now called ______.
We learned in Herbology about the healing effects of ______.
We're not like other news orginizations. Here at the Daily Prophet, we welcome ______ in the office.
What are the Professors hiding from the students?
What brought the Hufflepuff orgy to a grinding stop?
What can you find in Dumbledore's closet?
What Crabbe and Goyle do after dark.
What do Finch and Mrs. Norris do down in the third corridor of the castle?
What do you wish you could buy in Diagon Alley?
What does Dumbledore say gets better with age?
What does Hagrid's Hut smell like?
What happens in the Hogwarts dungeons?
What Harry says in bed.
What is a witch's best friend?
What is an essential prop in Harry's favorite wizard porno?
What is Dumbledore's new password?
What is in Hermione's bag?
What is Ron Weasley thinking about while having sex?
What is Snape's guilty pleasure?
What is the first thing I bought in Knockturn Alley?
What is the most scandalous part of Magical Me?
What is under Voldemort's robes?
What left a stain on the Slytherin common room couch?
What made Draco feel moist and sticky?
What would McGonagall find disturbing, yet oddly charming?
What would Voldemort's boggart be?
What's the worst part of attending Hogwarts?
Where the Malfoy family money comes from.
While on the Hogwarts Express, gazing out of the window, we saw ______.
Why Harry cries to sleep every night.
Why is Mrs. Weasley so angry?
Why the Forbidden Forest is REALLY forbidden.
50 Shades of Pink by Dolores Umbridge

A basilisk coming up through the toilet and latching onto your ass
A box full of cockroach clusters
A confused howler
A curse that causes horrible seeping boils on your taint
A disturbing dream involving Madam Hooch and figgy pudding in uncomfortable places
A Ford Anglia filled with flash-eating slugs
A forgetful remembrall
A giant phallus patronus
A giant's farts
A happy dementor
A healthy breeze around your privates
A Hogwarts massacre
A lake full of Inferi
A magical penis that ejaculates Felix Feicis
A melted Knickerbocker glory
A moving painting of your grandparents doing it
A naked Dumbledore puppet
A naked Slytherin
A Neville Longbottom butternut squash
A passel of naked garden gnomes
A rogue bludger
A Slytherin waking up naked in the Hufflepuff common room
A squadron of goblins wearing Quidditch goggles
A stampede of centaurs
A supposedly equal society with very little race or gender diversity in public office
A sweater knitted from Kreacher's ear hair
A throbbing pile of horny Hufflepuffs
A tree house elf
A wand made of magical tampons
A Weasley jumper full of wrackspurts
Abandonment issues from being left in the castle
Aberforth's love of goats
Accidentally apparating into Percy Weasley's S&M dungeon
Accidentally fully decapitating Nearly Headless Nick
Accidentally polyjuicing yourself into Scabbers
Actually playing Quidditch, for real
An accurate prediction by Trelawney
An all house elf production of The Tale of Three Brothers
An engorgio'd pygmy puff attacking Hogsmeade
An orgy with Beauxbatons girls
Another shitty year at Hogwarts
Aragog and a hopeless amount of spiders
Aunt Marge's crack
Avada Kedarva
Azkaban brutality
Ball cheese
Balls
Balls deep into a screaming hippogriff
Bang bang bangity bang
Barty Crouch Jr.'s tongue
Battle of Hogwarts flashbacks
Beating your house elf
Befriending a Boggart
Being Quidditch Team Captain
Being rejected by Kwikspell
Being so fat the Sorting Hat puts you in Waffle House
Being the only Jewish student at Hogwarts during Christmas
Being turned on by Barty Crouch Jr.
Bellatrix Lestrange eating the chicken that is smarter than other chickens in order to gain its power
Binn's boring lesson plans
Blast Ended Skank
Blast-ended skrewts for shock therapy
Bloody Baron
Bloody Hell
Bloody Hufflepuffs
Blowing warlocks in Knockturn Alley
Bogey-flavored beans
Breaking into Gringotts as foreplay
Bringing down the Ministry from within using a mixture of dark magic and gum disease
Buying the right robes to be cool
Calling Voldemort "You-Know-Who, the douche canoe" to his face
Camp Fuck you I'm a Wizard
Cards Against Muggles
Carpet book
Catching Moaning Myrtle and Peeves getting it on in Dumbledore's office
Categorizing fans as pre- or post- LiveJournal

Cedric dying
Celestina Warbeck's greatest hit CD
Centaur porn
Centaurs
Cheating in the Tri-Wizard Cup games
Clitoris Prohibitus
Colin Creevey's underground porn ring
Coming back from summer break and trying to explain "Two Girls, One Cup" to your wizard friends
Con Stench
Cornish pixie dust
Creative use of fizzing whizbees during a blow job
Dance moves ruined by right-wing politician's kids doing it during the Ministry's swearing-in ceremony
Death by Snu-Snu
Debating wizarding politics as foreplay
Deep-throating a giant
Dementor sex
Dementors kissing booth
Devil's snare as a sex toy
Diddling Dudley
Dobby's socks
Doing the Hippogriff
Dragon-handling
Drunk Gryffindors
Dudley's soiled pants
Dumbledore's anal beads
Dumbledore's ashes
Durmstrang guys
Eat slugs
Eating Dumbledore's beard to gain his powers
Engorgio
Erectile dysfunction potions
Erumpent horn porn
Euro-centric magic education
Fang eating a dragon egg
Feeling old at LeakyCon
Ferret Malfoy in my anus
Filch
Filch's crusty foreskin
Filch's private peep hole
Filch's smegma
Filling every orifice with acid pops
Finding a gloryhole in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom
Finding out your brother's sexual preference thanks to the Marauder's Map
Firewhiskey
Fizzing Whizbees
Fluffy's chew toy
Fluffy's drool slowing dripping down your body
Flying around on Buckbeak
Freeeing all of the house elves
Getting a smelting stick beating
Getting abducted by Filch and Mrs. Norris
Getting freaky with the Whomping Willow
Getting the wrong mental image when you heard there was a snake in Bathilda Bagshot
Getting wasted at the Leaky Cauldron
Giving a remembrall to an Alzheimer's patient
Giving Voldy a strong love potion
Going down on someone while on a broom
Goiong around jinxing people
Grabbing Snape's greasy hair in a moment of ecstasy
Greased up Cormac McLaggen
Grindelwald's panties
Hagrid's night of romance
Hagrid's uncomfortably proportionate penis

Hagrid's unmentionables
Harry Potter
Harry's dead parents
Haversacking
Having a portrait painted of you and teaching it to only say "Balls"
Having a threesome with the Sorting Hat
Having sex on top of the pensieve
Having to clean the Owlery
Having to explain to Madam Pomfrey why you used engorgio on your dick
Headmaster of kickass
Hedwig nipping Trevor
Hedwig popping
Helicoptering underneath your robes
Hermione Granger
Hermione saying she read about it in "Hogwarts: A History" during sex
Hermione's O.W.L. results
Hexing the shit out of the asshole who catcalled you during your morning jog
Ho-made cum stained wizard robes
Hogwart's prostitution ring
Hogwarts: A History
Honey Badgers are to be feared!
Horse piss flavored Bertie Botts
House elves gone wild
House party at Madam Hooch's
Howler
Howler talking dirty to you in front of everyone in the Great Hall
Huffle-puff-puff pass
I saw your uvula
Inappropriate goat charms
Inserting a foot in a house elf's anus and using them as a slipper
Insisting Hufflepuffs are covered in bees
Interspecies marriage
Jerking off in Honeydukes
Killing the last known unicorn
Knowing the taste difference in goblin piss and polyjuice
Learning Sex Ed from the Bloody Baron because Snape didn't have practical experience
Licking Trevor to get high
Living in the cupboard under the stairs
Losing the House Cup because Harry and his friends went on another fucking adventure
Loyal and hard-twerking
Lucius Malfoy's cane
Lucius's peacock
Luna loves good
Luna talking dirty
Mad Eye's X-Ray Eye
Magical Leprechaun skeet
Making Myrtle moan
Malfoy Brand Hair Dye
Malfoy's snake
Mandrake screams
Marrying your dead twin's girlfriend
McGonagall's porn collection
McGonagall's sex life
Merlin's left testicle
Merlin's saggy left testicle dipped in treacle syrup
Millicent Bulstrode's powerful thighs
Minister of Magic with tiny hands
Misplacing the last Horcrux
Moaning Myrtle
Moaning Myrtle watching you pee
Moaning Myrtle's watersports fetish
Moaning Mytle
Molly and Arthur's secret sex tape
Molly Weasley's bosom
Moody's wandering eye
Moody's wooden leg
Mounting a broom
Mr. Dursley's manky old sock
Mrs. Weasley's knitting pattern
Mudblood genocide
Mudbloods
My fahter will hear about this!
My wand
Nagini
Neville changing someone into a chocolate frog
Neville Longbottom
Non-alcoholic butterbeer with ginger added
Oliver's Wood
Ollivander getting kids to test the wand in his pants
Omniocular replay action
Peeves
Percy Weasley whispering all sexy
Petunia's Playhouse
Pigwidgeon wearing a tiny raincoat and booties
Pius Thicknesse showing how thick he is
Play Elf Magazine
Playing "Chocolate or Poop?" with a pile of brown Bertie Botts Beans
Ployjuice Brothel
Poisoned Cauldron Cakes
Poking a mandrake with your wand
Post-mortem pluckings of Dumbledore's nose hairs

Post-Potter Depression
Professor Sprout's chin hair
Professor Sprout's hidden growhouse
Professor-induced boners
Punching Dumbledore in the face
Pureblood privilege
Putting the "Shrieking" in The Shrieking Shack
Quivering wand charms
Racially biased O.W.L. questions
Random red-headed splinched twat floating in the Room of Requirement
Random room of chamber pots
Ravenclaws that are stupid
Recalcitrant bowtruckles
Recipes for blast-ended skrewt
Repairing off into the sunset with Mrs. Norris
Ron Weasley
S.P.E.W.
Scraping Fred's remains off the floor
Screaming like a mandrake
Seamus Finnigan's fire addiction
Seamus's singed eyebrows
Seeing on the Marauder's Map that a dead guy is in your 13 year old brother's bed
Serious Sirius seriously being serious
Setting off Weasley's Wheezes fireworks
Shipping wars
Sirius and Remus's sexual tension
Skullfucking the empty socket where Mad-Eye's eye used to be
Slapping Voldemort's ass
Slipping in a pool of dragon splooge
Slyther-in
Smegma-flavored Bertie Botts' beans
Smuggling a Muggle into Hogwart's
Snape
Snape dying
Snape fantasies
Snape talking dirty
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape
Snape's collection of Lily's stolen underwear
Snape's skidmarks
Sneaking into Snape's bedroom to watch him sleep
Sneaking your illegal pet rat into Hogwarts by stuffing him in your anus
Snogging
Sparklypoo
Spattergroit
Sperm whale patronus
Splinched anus
Sprout and Flitwick's secret hide-the-wand game
Strip Gobstones
Stumping the Scarf of Sexual Preference
Suddenly being swarmed by a gaggle of Cornish pixies
Swelling Solution
Swimming pool filled with Butterbeer
Taking polyjuice potion to become Luna Lovegood so you can look at yourself naked
Teabagging Madam Puddifoot
That awesome moment when you realized it was You-Know-Who you pelted with snowballs
That awkward moment when the penis falls off during Inferi sex
The awkward moment when you realize Dumbledore's wand kind of looks like anal beads
The basilisk in my pants
The Bent-Wing Snitches
The cold feeling of a blowjob from a dementor
The constant urge to pop Eloise Midgen's zits
The Crumple Horny Snorkack
The dangers of werewolf sex
The dark cave that is Hagrid's mother's vagina
The day the dementors attacked
The giant squid
The golden snatch
The half-inch skin and sinew holding on Sir Nicholas's neck
The hidden pregnancy problem at Hogwarts
The Hufflepuff Rebellion of 1693
The joy of having room for your saggy old balls in your robes
The mind-blowing moment when you eat a vomit flavored Bertie Botts bean, realize it tastes nothing like
your vomit, and therefore all vomit has a different flavor
The moist demanding chasm of Pettigrew's mouth
The pea soup from Leaky Cauldron
The poor house elf stuck cleaning the one million litter boxes in Hogwarts
The poor house elf that made this card
The restricted section
The secret adventures of Dumbledore and Gandalf
The shambling corpse of Wormtail
The smell of the Great Hall after two weeks of filming the feast scene
The things Snape can do with that nose
The toxic gas that resulted from Goyle discovering Mexican food
The weekly orgy all of the Hogwarts' paintings enjoy
The weird shit Floridian wizards do
Thestral shows in sketchy brothels on the Mexican border
Three months in the dungeon
Throwing the Sorting Hat into the Black Lake because it sorted you into Hufflepuff
Tickling the giant squids tentacle to testicle
Titillando
Tom Riddle's secret after hours diary
Torturing muggles
Trying to introduce Snape to shampoo
Turning all the knobs in the Prefects' bathroom
Turning into Edward Cullen
Two elves shitting into a bucket
Two girls, one portkey
Ulric the Oddball going commando
Umbridge
Umbridge's death stare
Umbridge's dumb fucking face
Umbridge's Nipple Clamps
Umbridge's vagina dentata
Uncle Vernon's hairy, squishy body
Unicorn blood
Unstoppable wave of Blast-Ended Skrewts
Used harpy tampons
Using a giant's foreskin to keep warm in the winter
Using Chocolate Frog cards as your porn
Using cockroaches to sneak Firewhiskey into Azkaban
Using gillyweed so you can go down on someone for longer
Using pensieve memories as a lubricant
Using Polyjuice Potion to have sex with yourself
Using splooge to make Polyjuice potion
Vagina portal that leads to the Chamber of Secrets
Viktor Krum's underwear
Voldemort's nipple
Voldemort's nose
Voldemort's personal assistant
Waking up in the Shrieking Shack naked and cold
Waking up naked covered in Stinksap, next to an empty bottle of Skele-Gro with blood pops stuck in your
hair, hugging a pineapple
Walking out of the bookstore and hearing someone yell "Snape kills Dumbledore!"
Wand envy
Wand rubbing oil
Warm velvety, pygmy puff sex
Watching a guy get murdered, then trying to date his girlfriend
Watching Dobby's death scene on repeat
Watching the fucked up memories Dumbledore stored in the pensieve
Watching Thestral-on-Centaur action
Weasley's fire crotch
Wendelin the Weird's secret sex dungeon
Whipping out your wand
Wizard walk of shame
Wondering what's in this broom-shaped package
Wormtail's silver fingers
Xenophilius's erumpent horn butt plug
Zonko's hidden adult toy section
Cards Against Hogwarts
A Harry Potter themed expansion.

Editor Note: Tried to research the origin of this set, but could not find anything about it. The sets I was able to
find did not contain these cards.
_____ can be found in the darkest of places.

Combine a pinch of _____, and a pint of _____, and you have made your first _____ potion.
Grasp your _____ between your hands and say “Up!”
Hagrid is insisting that this _____ is his newest pet.
Harry Potter and the _____ of _____.

I don't know how I got it, but this _____ shaped scar on my forehead is pretty wicked.
I missed it. What did my Patonus look like?
I solemnly swear that I am up to _____.
I whish I could cast Avada Kedavra on _____/
If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his _____, and not his _____.
Master has given Dobby a _____! Dobby is a free Elf!
Not even Veritaserum will get me to tell the truth about _____.
Red hair and a hand-me-down robe. You must be a _____.
Riddkulus! I just turned that Boggart into _____.

Spoiler! _____ kills _____.
What did you do to make our house loos 100 points?
What was really under Quirrel's turban?
Who should be the next Defense Against The Dark Arts teacher?
A 13-inch wand.
A Boggart that looks like a herpes-riddled vagina.
A dementor's dong.
A Grumpy Cat patronus.

A rejection letter from Hogwarts.
A troll in the sex dungeon.

A Very Potter Musical.
A wizarding school in the middle of fucking nowhere.
Casting Expelliarmus on her pants.

Catching the Golden Snatch.
Dobby the House Elf.
Draco Malfoy.
Drinking unicorn blood.
Dumbledore.
Dumbledore's beard.
Emma Watson's 18th birthday.

Flying a car into the Whomping Willow.
Freeing your house elf by giving them a used condom.

Getting so desperate that you drukenly make out with a dementor.
Getting upset that the blue phone booth didn't get you to the Ministry of Magic.
Gilderoy Lockhart shipping himself with himself.

Ginny Weasley.
Gryffindor.
Hagrid's pubic hair.
Harry Potter.
Having an asshole for an uncle.
Hermione Granger.
Hufflepuff.
JK Rowling, crying at the things she's discovered on Tumblr.
Lucius Malfoy's luscious locks.
Luna Lovegood.
Making Myrtle moan.
Moody's mad eye.
Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs.

Nearly Headless Dick.
Neville Longbottom.
Nymphomaniac Tonks.
Platform 9 ¾.
Polyjuice potion.
Prof. McGonagall coughing up a hairball.
Ravenclaw.
Ron Weasley.
Saying the magic word.
Seamus Finnigan.
Severus Snape.
Shit flavored jellybeans.
Slytherin.
Snape's cloak.
Some Muggle device that vibrates.

Spinching a squib.
Swishing and flicking.
Talking dirty in Parseltongue.

The Chamber of Secrets.
The Floo Network.
The ghetto that is the Weasley house.
The Marauder's Map.
The Nimbus 2000.
The Potter Puppet Pals.
The Sorcerer's kidney stone.
Voldemort's snake.
Waking up with a lightning bolt shaped scar on your cock.
Wanting to punch Unbridge in her cunt.
Cards Against the Empire
https://www.reddit.com/r/cardsagainsthumanity/comments/34vafs/cards_against_the_empire_release_xpost_starwar
Created by Redditor NerdSplosionz. Download link in the above linked post does not work anymore, and the
deck does not seem to exist on CardCast anymore either.
_____ , It's a trap!

_____ always puts Darth Vader in the mood.
_____ is a path to the dark side.
_____ is not the Jedi way.
_____ shot first.
As sci-fi nerds, we're accepting of every fandom, unless you're into _____ .
Come to the Dark Side, we have _____ .
Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to _____ .
I find your lack of _____ disturbing.
Join me and together we can rule the galaxy as _____ and _____ .
May ____ be with you.
That's no moon, it's _____ !

This is not the _____ you're looking for.
Today in Jedi training, Yoda taught me how to use _____ with _____ .
What does George Lucas use to finally kill off Jar-Jar?
What went through Luke's mind when Leia kissed him?
What's the only thing hotter than Slave Leia?
What's your OTP? _____ / _____ .
Yeah, I had to kick him out of the Jedi Order. He kept using "_______" as a euphemism for his penis.
You mean to tell me there's a Star Wars fan fiction about _____ ? Sign me up!
[Darth Vader breathing].
A bigger blacker Vader.
A depressing Cloud City weatherman.
A galaxy far, far away.
A garbage tentacle monster.
A giant sandy hole.
A lightsaber with too many blades.
A motherfucking purple lightsaber.

A quadriplegic.
A scruffy looking nerf-herder.
A throbbing red lightsaber.
A wretched hive of scum and villainy.
Actually finding the droids you’re looking for.
Alderaan exploding.
An astromech droid that consistently saves the day and gets no credit for it.
Anakin Skywalker’s emotional breakdowns.
Autoerotic force choking.
Bad guys with British accents.
Being a motherfucking Jedi.
Boba Fett.
C3PO talking dirty.
C3PO.
C3PO’s shiny metal ass.
Calling Darth Vader “little orphan Annie”.
Chewbacca.
Chewbacca’s barber.
Colt-45 malt liquor.
Darth Maul’s better half.
Darth Vader wear-ing nothing but his helmet.
Darth Vader, father of the year.
Darth Vader.
Dirty Trekkies.
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Episode II: Attack of the Clones.
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith.
Episode IV: A New Hope.
Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back.
Episode VI: Return of the Jedi.
Episode VII: The Force Awakens.
Finding out what Darth Vader has been using Luke’s extra hand for.
Grand Admiral Thrawn.
Han Solo.
Harrison Ford’s acting career.
Hutt cunnilingus.
Jango Fett’s severed head.
Jar-Jar Binks.
Jedi.
Kawaii-Gon Jinn.
Lando’s porn ‘stach.
Leia’s buns.
Luke Skywalker.
NooooOoooOoo.
Obi-wan Kenobi.
Padme’s fetish outfit.
Padme’s makeup remover.
Percussive maintenance.
Princess Leia.
Punting an Ewok.
Putting your hood up and pretending you’re a Jedi.
R2-D2 trying to get through a metal detector.
R2D2.
R2D2’s electric orgasms.
Sexually repressed Jedi.
Shooting like a stormtrooper.
Slave Leia.
Something something dark side.
Stormtroopers.
Tattooine.
The “Galaxy’s Worst Dad” award.
The force.
The Holiday Special.
The Imperial March playing ominously in the background.
The Schwartz.
The tears of Star Wars fan boys.
Twilek slave dancers.
Twincest.
Vader and Son. Episode I: The Phandom Menace.
Yet another Death Star.
Yoda.
Your aunt and uncle’s chared remains.
Grads Research Psychology: Psychology
Creator's Note: Niche set that I created as a 2017 Christmas gift to my partner who is, like me, a psychology
Ph.D. student. The set is loosely divided into three subsets: grad school, research and publication, and
psychology. To fully enjoy each subset, some level of familiarity or experience with the theme is necessary.
Some cards are not original, and some are adaptations of existing official CAH and unofficial (fan and third
party) cards. I have only played CAH a handful (15 or so) times; I tried my best to follow the grammar and
voice of the official cards, but I will remove bad cards and consider adding more as these cards get played in
real CAH games. To that end, feel free to send any suggestions and feedback to cdraheim90@gmail.com.
_____, I didn’t know psychology could stoop this low.

Although psychology had a long-standing tradition of allowing _____ in experiments, the IRB shut that shit
down real quick.
Before psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud had a failed theory on using _____ to help clients with their parent-
related issues.
Canada has recently banned any further psychological testing on _____.

Dear researchers, we are proud to introduce the newest psychological journal: The Journal of Experimental
_____.
For me, the problem with psychology is that is has too much _____ and not enough _____.
For the lab portion of the class, you will have to use conditioning techniques to succesfully condition _____ to
_____.
I’m having problems finding a graduate program that will let me study _____.
If Freud were brought back to life, he’d show up to the party with _____.
In the next edition of the DSM, _____ will be a recognized disorder.
My therapy client has been exhibiting symptoms of _____ and _____. The diagnosis? _____.
One of the research assistants is so immature, we actually had to put up a “NO _____” sign in our psych lab.
Psychological research is like _____. You never know what you’re going to get.
The news just reported the death of psychology. How did this happen?!
What area of psychological research is going to be the next big thing?
What does my lab study? The individual differences of _____.

What was Sigmund Freud’s weakness?
Why did I have to let my therapy client go?
Working memory training? Psh, _____ training is all the rage now.
A little too much synaptic pruning.

A person covered in metallic prison tattoos walking into an fMRI room.
A sexy therapist.
A split-brain patient.
A suicidal therapy client.
A therapy client you're legitimately considering fucking…after therapy is complete.
A whole lot of cognitive dissonance.
An experimental protocol involving sex, drugs, and Rock n’ Roll.
An unfortunate prospective memory error.
Anterograde amnesia.
Asperger’s Syndrome not being a recognized diagnosis.
Calmly stating “The experiment must continue.”
Choosing psychology as a major because it’s easier than the hard sciences.
Classical conditioning.
Clever Hans.
Clinicians who practice psychoanalysis and electroshock therapy.
Daniel Kahneman.
Dissociative Identity Disorder.
Elizabeth Loftus in a seductive pose.
E-Prime 2.
Explaining structural equation modeling to intro students.
Factor analysis.
Guildford’s structure of intellect theory, with 150 orthogonal facets!
Having to explain that psychology is not about brain control and dream analysis.
Henry Molaison’s (H.M.) hippocampi.
Intelligence testing the blacks.
Intro psychology students who want to change the world.
Little Albert’s Conditioned Fear of all Things White and Fluffy.
Low working memory capacity individuals.
Lumosity, the scientifically proven way to train your brain!
Machiavellianism.
Manifesting an acute psychological disorder at a suspiciously convenient time.
Milgram’s obedience study.
Neo-Freudianism.
Operant conditioning.
Overdosing on placebos.
Pavlov’s dog.
Phineas Gage’s frontal lobes.
Randall W. Engle.
Realizing that your therapy client is in love with you.
Scientific rigor in social psychology.
Social loafing.
Spearman’s g.
Stereotype threat.
Studying gender differences.
Studying syphilis in the blacks without informing them that they have syphilis or that there is a cure.
Taking psychology courses to boost your GPA.
Taking the Rorschach test, and all you see are dicks.
The 90% rejection rate for doctoral clinical psychology programs.
The bystander effect.
The individual differences approach to psychology.
The Myers-Briggs Personality Inventory.
The notorious unreliability of eye witness testimony.

The placebo effect.
The theory of multiple intelligences.
The whole left-brain right-brain nonsense.
Trying to explain that psychology is a legitimate science.
Working memory training leading to improved intelligence.
Libertarians Against Humanity is an unofficial Cards Against Humanity expansion BY LIBERTARIANS, FOR
LIBERTARIANS… AGAINST LIBERTARIANS
______ is not a crime! - Lysander Spooner

______. Thanks, Obama!
After banning kitchen knives; the UK Parliament is planning to ban ______ to curb street violence.
Bourbon for Breakfast; ______ for Lunch.
David D. Friedman said ______ is a great way to empirically test economic theories.
Finding out that Michael Shermer oppose ______ was the last straw for me.
I thought Rand Paul was going to be great until he sponsored a bill that will criminalize ______.
Imagine a firm that produces ______.

In a drastic move to attract voters, the Libertarian Party nominated ______ as their presidential nominee
In the Bitcoin Not Bomb's article "10 Ways Bitcoin Trumps Fiat Currency;" #4 was "Bitcoin protects ______."
LearnLiberty did a video discussing the economics behind ______.
Next on Stossel: Why the government should stop ______.
Shapeshifting lizard-people inscribed sacred alien geometry onto ancient ruins showing us how to build
______ so we can createa left-wing anarcho-capitalist utopia.
The new competitor to the Silk Road got shut down for selling ______.
This is not a democracy; this a ______!
What's a 'barrel shroud'? ______.

When I was 11, my first job was ______. - Stefan Molyneux
A copy of Human Action with various pages stuck together.

A giant douche.
A goal as hopeless as Mike Gravel's Presidential bid.
A paper clip.
A turd sandwich.
Agora Marketplace.
All-you-can-drink liberal tears for $4.99.
An edgy Austin Petersen comment that really is just a typical neocon position.
An intellectual property lawyer who is against intellectual property.
Arguing libertarianism can never work because you saw The Purge.
Boston T. Party.
Calling your local jail a "spiritual retreat."
Campaign for a Longer Leash.
Cards Against Humanity expansions with lame libertarians inside jokes.
Citing you climbing to the top of Mount Everest as a qualification for public office.
Free Keene.
Getting #KOKESHED.
Getting mad at your PoliSci 101 professor when he points out "freedom" is a meaningless term.
Getting sued by a dog with a Comic Sans inner monologue.
Gold bugs.
Gossip about the day-to-day lives of libertarian internet radio hosts who aren't aware you exist.
Hong Kong.
Jackasstivism.
Judge Burke.
Men of the mind who turn out to be looters.
Misquoting the Founding Fathers.
PG nihlism.
Privately issued letters of marque and reprisal.

Promoting liberty documentaries to make yourself look more important that never get made.
Ranting something incoherent about "Building 7".

Republicans who smoke weed.
Sending a legion of hackers and assassins because of a Nigerian money scam call.
Shoving cameras in random bureaucrat's faces.
Some new altcoin no one will ever use.
Spending countless hours pouring over maps of Amercian demographics in order to be precise in advocating
racial separation partitions of the United States that will never happen
Spreading liberty by podfading.
Stewing in your libertarians juices.

STOP FREE KEENE!!!
Subjectivism.
Taking your ball and building a home in the middle of the ocean.
Telling potential customers offering bitcoin that you don't take imaginary money.
The Audio-Technica AT2005USB; the best microphone for podcasting.
The FairTax.
The Happening.
The most rational brand of cigarette.

The Shire Choir.
The Zeitgeist Movement.
Thinking the NAP is pacifism.
Touching your butthole as a child.
Vulgar libertarianism.
Special Set
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Cards Against Archer
http://www.mediafire.com/file/jn5qsa13bhkwntj/Cards+against+archer.pdf
Editor Note: There appear to be more cards in this list than are in the linked PDF.
_____ and _____ and liquor.

_____ comes from Mexicans? Oh my God, what's _____ made from?!
_____ is like 95% of what I do.
______ is why I don't have sex with my co-workers. That...and no one ever lets me.
_______. Is that why you're acting like a bitch?
______, full of vodka, blessed are you among ______.
______: That's how you get ants!
______? Is that why you're acting like a bitch?
_____! Now that's the song you should write!

_____? In a Margarita? What is this, Auschwitz?
After eating cocaine yogurt, cupcakes, donuts, whipped cream, and pudding, Pam is now eating
cocaine _____.
And I'm just glad I have an erection that didn't involve ________!
Aw, but look at him. All tied up like a sexy little Christmas _____.
Because I happen to have perfect ________, Lana, which cannot be taught!

Because you walked into Strippers' Discount Warehouse and said, help me showcase my _________.
Clean the impending _____ out of your ears!
Come on, it's an album cover, not _____! You got to sex that shit up sexy.
Crawl up your _________ and die.
Cyril, I paid her, I get to carry her _______.
Damn you, _____, you're a cruel mistress!

Did you seriously climb all the way up here just to see what ______ is?
Do you really want to open this can of trust-breachy worms right after I just caught you and my ex-
boyfriend with _____ in the trunk?
Do you want _____ ? Because that's how you get _____!
Don’t blame me, it’s those new low-flow toilets! With the old ones, you could flush _____.
For God's sake woman, are you hearing yourself? He's your son, not _____.
For the last time, the Excelsior is filled with non-flammable _______!
Go rub ____ in your dead little eyes
Ha! I'll outlast you. I'm naked and I've got half a lime and almost, nearly two thirds of a half-gallon of
______.
He touched my penis with ______!
Hey, you wanna smell _________?
Holy shit, ______ is amazing! Why have I never tried it before?!
I am commandeering this ______!
I assume that smell is _______ and not you.
I bet Mr. Archer already went all double-0-_______ on Skorpio's ass!
I don't care who you are, when you get zapped with 50,000 volts, it's like, like _____.
I find one single dog hair when I get back, I'll rub..._____...in your dead little eyes.
I find your lack of ____ disturbing.
I happen to have perfect ______, Lana, which can't be taught!
I just started testing _____ on humans by dosing Danny the Intern's coffee.
I just want to go on record as saying that _____ on the penthouse balcony is the absolute worst idea
that I have ever heard in my entire goddamn life.
I mean if I don't get some _____ I could literally die.
I swear to god, you could drown _____ in my panties right now! ... Not that you would.
I think ______ is a game.

I walked into Stripper's Discount Warehouse and said, "help me showcase ______."
I will be on my tour bus putting _____ and glue inside me.
I'm a desirable, full bodied woman but nobody will have sex with me! And I have so much _______ to
give!
I'm afraid ________ got into ________.
I'm going to die by _____, just like Cheryl's gypsy woman said!
I'm going to go watch ______ and masturbate until my fingers bleed.
I'm so hot for ______, I could reheat this chili in my cooch.
I'm sorry, I can't hear ______ over the sound of my giant, throbbing erection!
I'm sorry, I guess I skipped the Emily Post chapter on how to introduce your mother to _____.
I'm talking about _____. From the Greek for, like, _____!
I've seen the end of that movie, and spoiler alert! It ends with _____.
If I don't get something to eat I'm going to literally _________.
In addition to sushi, booze, and soft cheeses, I'm also supposed to abstain from _____!
It has to be your place. Mine totally reeks of _____.
It's like _____ in there!
Jesus, God, Sterling, ________?
Krieger's next experiment will involve combining ______ and ______.
Like you'd recognize a vegetable that wasn't wrapped inside of _____.
Mom always said, ""Sterling, come in here and check me for _____.
My girlfriend's not equal parts the Internet, a tube of Kentucky jelly, self-loathing and _____.
My plan was to crowdsource a ____.
My vulva is as smooth as ________!
No, Cyril, when they're dead, they're just ________.
No, I think ____ is a game...
Not many people could bring me to orgasm during _____.
Oh right, I forgot, your dick's full of _____ and _____ coupons.
People who like you because you have _____ aren't people you want as friends!
She wasn't too smart to die from eating ____, was she?
Shhh. You don’t want to know, but you do probably want to go wash your _______ now.
Sir, that stolen lemur bit one of your prostitutes right in the face. And she says she can't go to a
hospital because she's, I quote, "______".
Six Flags over the shittier parts of _____?
Stabbing _____ into your brain so you don't wind up giving blow jobs in a bus station toilet for cocaine.
Surveillance, which is apparently French for _____.
Thanks, I'll let you know if I need _______.
Thanks, Mother, for replacing the baby aspirin with ______. God, that is just classic her.
The _____ is coated in ScotchGuard. It is resistant to _____.
The amount of _____ I would need to have sex with you would literally kill me.
The thought of _____ gives you an erection?!
The truth is that your seemingly effeminate brother is, in fact, ______.
There's not enough liquor and therapy in the world to undo _____.
They're fingers, Pam. Not _____.
This is not mud all over my pants. It's _____.
This isn't the Flinstones. We can't just whang him in the head with ________
Try the diner down the street! You're obviously into ____.
Unless the _____ thing is weird for you; I'm obviously way into it.
Wait, so I've been treating my cancer with ______?!
We put you in the freezer so we could unfreeze you in the future, once medical science had developed
a cure for _____.
We're kind of like the A-Team, but we sell _____.
Well, you threatened to shove _____ up his dick hole. Which, again, ick.
What are you snorting off me?
What are your three biggest fears?
What does Mallory like?
What is this? A __________ factory?
What was in Krieger's browser history?
What would Lana do?
What? Wait, so I've been treating my cancer with _______?!
What... umm... is in the Italian Prime Minister's ass?
What...uh...are you snorting off me?
What's in the suitcase, Ron?
What's wrong with her?
Who taught me how to punch?
Whoa. So my whole life, all I ever had to do was believe in myself? And inject _____ into my brain?
Why am I wearing __________?
Woodhouse, you are going to eat so many _____ when I get back.
WOODHOUSE! Do we have any lube? Like at this point even some _____ would help.
You could drown _______ in my panties right now.
You didn't think it was weird that your chemo drugs were _____?
You hear 'beanbag', and you think Beanie Baby, not _____.
You killed ________! That's like killing a unicorn!
You really spent your entire inheritance on _____?
You're not my supervisor! Wait, who is my supervisor?
You're so hot for _____, I could reheat this chili in ______.
15 years of boarding school.

38 soul cleaving minutes.
A $900 turtleneck.
A black astronaut.
A cartridge full of a deadly supertoxin called poiso... caine.
A coke-strong Pam.
A dead hooker in the trunk.
A dinosaur's tampon.
A floor covered in Ocelot piss.
A food rapist.
A full body cast made of cocaine.
A gay.
A gillion pounds of freaking computer.
A grieving process consisting of tending bars and banging newlyweds.
A gun that could kill a building.
A high priced MILF.
A knobby purple eggplant.
A latex gimp suit.
A long, complicated and misleading voicemail greeting.
A mind-brain.
A mustache on a penis.
A nazi, a nerd, and queen of the robots.
A nonexistant smoke bomb.
A parcel containing one-seventh of the dead Italian Prime Minister.
A pirate king.
A piss reeking ocelot.
A quadroon.
A radioactive pig that craves human flesh.
A rigid airship.
A skating rink in a train car.
A slightly darker black.
A submarine trapped in an indoor pool.
A Tactile-neck.
A tiny farm made of marzipan.
A train dwarf.
A vagina with a zipper.
A vain, selfish, lying, and quite possibly alcoholic man-whore.
A vealy vulva.
A very itchy weekend.
A yogurt enema.
Adopting a little baby for the sole purpose of abandoning it at a mall.
Airboats.
An assumed identity always named Randy.
An eagle-eyed super-hawk. With a badge.
An erection that doesn't involve homeless people.
An uncircumsized Jewish guy.
Another sex-tape with a high ranking international politician.
Asking Kreiger to pump nerve gas through the building.
Baby Crazy.
Babytown frolics.
Beardsly McTurbanhead.
Being allergic to a cruelty-free vegan seafood buffet.
Being so full of shit your eyes are brown.
Being so timid that your balls are made of pussy.
Benoit.....balls
Blob Marley.
Blowing up a submarine full of cocaine.
Booyakashaw!!!
Breast Cancer.
Burt Reynolds in Deliverance.
Carol/Cheryl/Cristal/Carina/Cherlene.
Casa Blumpkin.
Chain smoking joints the size of tampons.
Cheating on your girlfriend with starlets, models, oh, and one time, two actual princesses.
Chokebot.
Christian Slater once again playing a killer.
Citizen Dickbag.
Classic Archer.
Classic Mallory.
Clearing the ol' browser history.
Cobra whiskey and ladyboys.
COCAINE!!!
Cock flavored spit.
Coffee just like I like my women. Black, bitter, and preferably fair trade.
Constant A.B.B.A.B.
Cooch chili.
Countess Von Fingerbang.
Crepuscular.
Crippled gay hillbilly spies.
Crisis vest.
Cyril trying to take charge.
Danger Zone.
Dead Hooker in the trunk.
Defiling a corpse.
Defiling a different corpse.
Dicknuts!
Digging tunnels to find and sabotage the Underground Railroad in like, 1890.
Doing something that would make five-year-old me get a huge boner.
Donations of pre-tax dollars that PBS launders in inner-city methadone clinics and pumps right back
out to pro-abortion super-PACs!
Dragging around a 35 year old umbilical cord.
Dry humping a Chipotle™ burrito.
Every single country on the planet except for us, Liberia and Burma.
Failing miserably at selling cocaine.
Firing an RPG inside a tiny armored room.
Fisherman's Wife and Fisherman's Wife 2: The Rententacling.
Fister Roboto.
Food Rapist.
Forgetting to reboot the CPU in Ray's legs.
Forgetting to shout "FBI!" before firing into a room of people.
Fort Kickass.
Fourth of Juluau.
Frothy loins.
Germany, the Alabama of Europe.
Getting a semi from the thought of your mother dying.
Getting matching tattoos for you and your baby.
Gluing up.
Goddamn Tinnitus.
Green Russians.
Groovy Bears.
Hanging from the lampshade.
Having a threesome with Oedipus and Sigmund Freud.
Having Kenny Loggins on speed dial.
Having sex on top of a tranq-ed up tiger.
Having sex with a candy wrapper condom.
Having sex with the President's wife.
Having to stop because your penis can only get so erect.
High-functioning alcoholism.
Hindenburg 2.0
Holy shit snacks!
Hor-hay Washington.
Immigrants! That's what they do you know. Just drive around listening to raps and shooting all the
jobs.
Implied bestiality.
Inappropes.
Indira Ghandi's thong.
J. Edna Hoover.
Jazz Hands!
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph Stalin!
Johnny Benchian fingers.
Jumping up your own ass and dying.
Just havin' some phone sex.
Just jackin' it.
Just the tip.
Karate, the Dane Cook of Martial Arts.
Keeping all eleven of your chins up.
Kenny Loggins on speed dial
Kidnapping the Pope.
Killing a different man.
Knobbly purple eggplant.
Krav Maga.
Krieger Kleanse™.
Krieger's Van.
LANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Lewis and/or Clark.
Literally shooting your partner in the foot.
LSD disguised as breath strips.
M as in Mancy.
Male breast cancer.
Melon ball.
Meowschwitz.
Modified Ludovico.
Mr. My Mother's A Lying Bitch And I'm Too Stupid To Realize My Life's A Pathetic Joke!
Mrs. Hello My Kid's From A Sperm Bank Since I Can't Keep A Man Because In Addition To My Jillion
Neuroses I Have A Weird-looking Vagina!
MSG, the flavor enhancer!
Mulatto Butts.
Mustache on penis.
MY GIANT THROBBING ERECTION!
My mother's vibrator.
Nazi Oranges.
Nikolai Jakov, head of the KGB.
North Korea, the nation-state equivalent of the shortbus.
Not being a serial killer.
Not being able to distinguish between figurative and literal.
Oh, dammit! I had something for this!
Other Barry.
OUTLAW COUNTRY!!!
Pacman Jones.
Pam and the Yakuza.
Pam's elephantine bowel movements.
Pam's hulk-like powers.
Phrasing!
Pigley 2.
Pigley, the hybrid pig-boy.
Piracy. No, actual piracy. With, like, boats.
Pirate King!
Piss Reekin' Ocelot.
Pounds. You know, Doctor Who money.
Promising to periodically micromanage and emasculate me.
Psychogenic retrograde amnesia.
Puffy stickers.
Putting a Rocket Pop in your cooch.
Radical Nova Scotian seperatists.
Radioactive genitals.
RAMPAAAAAAAAAGE!!!!!
Recent rug-burn-y events.
Rigid airship.
Rippling, Rambo-y arms.
Rug marbles.
Russia's only black woman.
Sammy Gayvis Jr.
Saving yourself the embarrassment of an incredibly homophobic remark.
Screwing the asses off all the colored maids.
Screwing the Yakuza out of a million bucks of amphetamines.
Shitsnacks.
Situational awareness.
Six Gummy Bears and some Scotch.
Slapping someone so hard they die.
Slightly Darker Black.
Some unholy adolescent human amphibian hybrid creature.
Space dwarves.
Sploosh!
Sploosh. With semen.
Spray and Pray.
Stir-Friday.
SUPPRESSING FIRE!!!!!!!!
Tactile-neck
Taking a baby to a murder.
Taping up your bloody fingers to continue masturbating.
Tea that looks, smells, and tastes like liquid fart.
Team Live Bad-Ass.
Terms of Enrampagement.
Terrorists, assassins, the KGB, the IRA, North Korea, cyborgs, and space pirates.
That's how you get ants.
The butterfly effect
The chevrons are closing!
The Chum Guzzler.
The Cokie Monster.
The crime of sodomy by rubber eggplant.
The Danger Zone.
The Dodge Challenger Special Agent Edition, brought to you by Dodge.
The first law of robotics.
The floor is lava!
The GILF cam.
The Honeypot.
The love child of Angela Davis and Sweet Lou Dunbar.
The peleé of anal.
The pita predator.
The sinister gay cabal.
The SS Date Rape.
The tactical turtleneck, better known as the Tactilneck.
The vehicular hermaphrodite known as the El Camino.
The wee baby Seamus.
The white queen of Africa.
Thirty-eight soul-cleaving minutes.
Those damn green Russians.
Topper Bottoms, stern yet sensual skipper of the USS Rough Service.
Trailer park Easter.
Train dwarf.
Treating cancer with sugar pills.
Tripping bear balls.
Truck-a-saurus.
Trying to explain particle physics to a particle.
Trying to get my mother into the Million-Mile-High Club.
Trying to stifle laughter at the mere thought of Woodhouse tied up somewhere, scared, alone and
probably dehydrated.
Trying to suck a promotion out of some Russian guy's cock.
Twice as many airboats.
Underground fish fights with the Yakuza.
Vain, selfish, lying, and quite possibly alcoholic man-whore.
Vincent Van Go-fuck-yourself.
Wearing ghost costumes to scare black people.
Wee baby Seamus.
Whichever Hepburn.
Whore Island.
Whore-diot.
World's gushiest orgasm.
Your mother all over again!
Cards Against Humanity: Disney Edition
https://sergberet.wordpress.com/2014/05/21/cards-against-humanity-disney-edition/
A Disney themed set created by Serg Beret.
_________ means "family". "_________" means "no one gets left behind."
__________ are friends, not food.
__________ does come true in New Orleans.
__________, if you say it out loud enough, you always sound precocious.
A ___________ is a wish your heart makes.

A controversial short show on "House of Mouse" featured _________.
A lie keeps growing and growing until it is as plain as _________ on your _________.
After awaking from her slumber, Princess Aurora and Prince Philip lead the Kingdom of __________.
And if you look to your right, you can see ________ next to the hippos.
At Pizza Planet, one can find an arcade game where _________ must destroy _________.
Be our guest, be our guest, put our _________ to the test.
Before adapting "Snow White", what did Walt Disney consider adapting?
Come little children, the time's come to play, here in my garden of _________.
Everybody! Everbody! Everybody wants to be a __________.

Everything the light touches belongs to __________.
For your safety, remain seated with your seat belts fastened, keeping your _________, _________, and
__________ inside the bobsled.
Genie, for my final wish, I wish for _________.

Grandmother Willow's three pieces of advice:
1. __________
2. _________
3. __________
Harlan Ellison was fired from Disney after suggesting a film about _________.
Here you leave today, and enter the world of _________, _________, and ___________.
Honey, I Shrunk the __________.
How did Ariel stay alive after she became human underwater?
How does the Beast cope with his curse?

I mean, it's crazy how we finish each other's _________.
I'm like a _________. I've come so far. I can't go back to where I used to be.
In an effort to boost its "Cars" line, Pixar is introducing _________ in the next film.
In order to boost ticket sales, Disney is making a land dedicated to ________.
In the lost city of Atlantis, you can find _________ in _________.

In the new Zenon film, Zenon faces a threat from _________.
Look at this _________. Isn't it neat? Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the fairest of them all?
No chance, no way, I won't say I'm __________.
No, Mowgli, I have to take you back to the _________ village.

One day in the Hundred Acre Woods, Winnie the Pooh was awakened by __________.
Second _________ to the right, and straight on till morning.

So Prince Ali turns out to be, merely __________.
The guardian of __________ was brought down to protect Mulan from the dangers of war.
The latest "Pirates of the Caribbean" has Captain Jack Sparrow team up with _________.
The lord is good to me, and so I thank the lord for giving me the things I need, the sun and rain and
_________.
The next Disney Channel Original Movie is _________.

This next number in our Fantasia program features _________ set to the music of Bach.
Upon choosing the smoothest course, Pocahontas came across a group of __________.
We're sendin' out __________, and this is our message to you.
Welcome, foolish mortals, to the ________ Mansion.
What can be found in the Elephant Graveyard?
What caused Sid to become evil to toys?
What corrupted program did Tron come across while on the Grid?
What did Alice find on her second visit to Wonderland?
What did Giselle find disturbing yet charming upon arrival to New York City?
What did Judge Doom use to get the Toons out of Toontown?
What did Prince Ali bring to the Sultan?
What did Raven see in her vision?
What did The Evil Queen offer Snow White in exchange for her pies?
What did The Horned King release from The Black Cauldron?
What did Wreck-It Ralph wreck?
What else did Arthur pull out of the stone?
What gift was Meriwether going to give Aurora before protecting her curse?
What happened to me in Disney Jail?
What is Peter Pan's happy thought?
What is the missing ingredient from Tiana's gumbo?

What is the next Disney sequel about?
What is the next property that Disney is buying?
What keeps Belle from being bored in the dungeon at Beast's Castle?
What the fuck was up with Ursula's crazy sister?
What toy did Woody discover in the home of Al from Al's Toy Barn?
What were the first words uttered by Tarzan when he learned English?
What's in the West Wing?
When I'm human, and I'm gonna be, I'm gonna ________ like I did before.
When Kronk pulled the lever, Yzma fell into _________.
When the Colony faced the danger of Hopper, Flik called upon _________ to help stop them.
When we die, our bodies become _________, and the _________ eat the _________. And so we are all
connected in the great Circle of Life.
When you're the best of friends, having so much __________ together.
Who is afraid of the big bad _________?
Who is that _________ I see staring straight back at me?
Who makes an unexpected guest appearance in the new "Kingdom Hearts" game?
Who puts the "glad" in gladiator?
Why did "Song of the South" get banned from being released on video?
Why do you need 101 Dalmations?
Why was I kicked out of Disneyland?
You're the only in trouble if you _________.
101 Dalmatians (Poison them! Drown them! Bash them in the head!).
A Hawaiian Roller Coaster ride.
A parading group of singing newspaper boys.
Air Bud.
Aladdin's fucking deadbeat thief of a father.
All the masturbating Rapunzel probably did when Mother Gothel was away.
Ariel's dumbass daughter, Melody.
Baloo crossdressing for King Louie.
Being a motherfucking all-powerful sorcerer and genie.
Being a virgon in "Hocus Pocus".
Being one jump ahead of the lawman, that's all and that's no joke.
Bert subtlety picking up on Mary Poppins.
Bolt with his almost God-like superpowers killing the entire cat population with one blast.
Brave's message of encouragement for all girls to be butchy lesbians.
Captain Barbossa.
Captain EO.
Captain Hook stabbing a mermaid with his hook.
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chip and Dale: Rescue Rangers.
Chernabog, the bringer of darkness and greatest House of Mouse guest.
Cinderella's dumbass face when she finds out about the Prince's ball.
Clayton getting hung to death from the vines.
Corbin Bleu's career.
Creme de la Edgar.
DConstructed: The idiotic attempt to cash-in on EDM music.
Debating whether or not to marry Kocoum.
Disney buying Marvel.
Disney jail.
Disney Rule 34.
Disney's "Song of the South."
Dory, the lesbian fish.
Elsa's shady ass.
Famed Radio Disney DJ. Ernie D.
Feel the rhythm, feel the rhyme! Get on up, it's bobsled time!
Feeling the true power of the Force on Star Tours: The Adventure Continues.
Frollo's unnerving want of needing to bone a gypsy.
Gaston.
Getting drunk at Disney's California Adventure.
Getting oral from Davy Jones.
Going to the Powerline concert.
Going Turbo.
Gotta Kick It Up!
Governor Radcliffe and his effeminate sidekick Wiggins.
Hades, the shadies Disney villian of them all.
Iago with a cap on his head.
In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room. In the Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki, Tiki Room.
It's the chicken man! The chicken man!
Jafar's phenomenal cosmic power compensating for his omnipotence.
Jumping off the stairs saying, "To infinity and beyond!"
Kalabar's Revenge.
Knowing that one of the crows from "Dumbo" might be named Jim.
Let's Sing a Little Gay Spring Song from "Bambi".
Lindsay Lohan's innocent twin from "The Parent Trap".
Losing your voice and winning over a prince with just your legs.
Madam Mim's pink dragon (still counts!).
Making love while riding Autopia.
Mike and Sulley, the first gay Disney couple to raise a child.
Miley Stewart.
Mulan's bisexuality.
NANTS INGONYAMA BAGITHI BABA! Sithi uhm ingonyama.
Not getting invited to a party, and putting a curse upon the king's daughter.
Phil of the Future.
Pixie Hollow's non-racially biased population.
Professor Ratigan, the mind behind the "Big Ben Caper", the one who made headlines in every
newspaper.
Quasimodo's private time with his "bells".
Remy's shit all over Gusteau's kitchen.
Return to Neverland.
Roo's mommy issues.
RUFIO! RUFIO! RUFIO!
Sally getting her legs ripped off.
Savages! Savages! Barely even human!
Scar's "Be Prepared".
Scar's tyranny.
Shipping Elsa and Frozone to make Vanilla/Chocolate ice cream.
Singing "Let It Go" while still in the closet.
Sixty elephants, llamas galore, with bears and lions, a brass band and more with forty fakirs, cooks,
bakers, and birds that warble on key.
Smiling because all of China knows you're here.
Spaceship Earth (aka that thing that looks like a golf ball at EPCOT).
SQUIRREL!
Studio Ghibli's Disney dubs.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
T.J. Detweiler, Ashley Spinelli, Vince LaSalle, Gretchen Grundler, Gus Griswald, and Mikey Blumberg.
Taking shrooms while watching "The Rites of Spring" segment in "Fantasia".
That badass staff that Maleficent owns.
That bowling move they used in "Alley Cats Strike".
That one cartoon where Donald Duck is a Nazi and says, "Heil Hitler!"
That one part of the Disneyland Railroad that goes from friendly animals at the Grand Canyon to
motherfucking dinosaurs for no reason what-so-ever.
That shitty dinosaur movie Disney made called, "Dinosaur".
That stupid bitch Aunt Sarah from "Lady and the Tramp".
The bare necessities.
The Black Cauldron.
The Bra Episode of "Lizzie McGuire".
The Cheetah Girls.
The Coachman.
The corpse of Bambi's mom in the meadow.
The creepy fact that Kaa's voice is also the voice of Winnie the Pooh.
The Demyx boss fight from "Kingodm Hearts II".
The DIP.
The Disney vault.
The Duck Tales theme song (now it's stuck in your head).
The dumbass princess Snow White.
The evil Icelandic hockey team from "The Mighty Duck 2".
The Famous Jett Jackson.
The fucked-up "The Walrus and the Carpenter" story in "Alice in Wonderland".
The future fat people we will soon become in "Wall-E".
The ghost of Mufasa judging you from the heavens above.
The girl squirrel from "The Sword in the Stone".
The grey stuff (IT'S DELICIOUS!).
The horrible whiny "Kingdom Hearts" fanbase.
The joke that is the film "Home on the Range".
The Jonas Brothers... in concert... IN 3D!
The Lion King 1 1/2.
The lost souls that power "It's a Small World".
The Moopets.
The penis on the VHS of "The Little Mermaid".
The poison. The poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison.
The Princess Diaries.
The racist (sorry, "Native American")scene from "Peter Pan".
The Rescuers.
The seaweed that is always greener in somebody else's lake.
The Shadow Man aka Dr. Falicier aka Baron Samedi.
The sultry jazz voice of Oogie Boogie.
The Three Caballeros, three gay caballeros.
The vibrating toy that Andy's mom owns that was never seen.
The Wonderful World of Disney.
Thomas shooting Kocoum in the back.
Tiana, the token black princess.
Tigger's
Tim bounce.
Curry's voice as the over-the-top organ Forte in "Beauty and the Beast: The Enchanted
Christmas".
Tinkerbell's cunty-ass attitude.
Treasure Planet.
Two midgets shitting into a glass slipper.
Ursula's tentacle porn video.
Using a dinglehopper for your hair.
Using the power of love and gulibility against the princess to rule their kingdom.
Walt Disney's forzen head attached tot he body of a mechanical spider.
We are the defenders of the night! WE ARE GARGOYLES!
Wreck-It Ralph's almost rape-like tendencies.
Young CGI Jeff Bridges.
Yzma's decaying ankle.
Zac Efron's dubbed over singing voice from "High School Musical".
Cards Against the Realm
http://www.innatthecrossroads.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/Cards-Against-the-Realm.pdf
A Game of Thrones themed expansion created by Inn At The Crossroads.
_____ cuts deeper than swords.

_____ is coming.
_____ won the Iron Throne with the help of _____.
“_____ for me, little bird.”
After a tragic encounter with _____, the Kingslayer's hand was replaced with _____.
All men must _____.
At the Red Wedding, Robb Stark lost his _____.
Before losing his package, Varys's favorite pastime was _____.
Chaos is a _____.
Dark wings, dark _____.
Everyone fears _____'s _____.
Having fallen prey to _____, the King lies dying.

I'll take what is mine with _____ and _____.
If I had a direwolf, I'd name it _____.
If Westeros had porn, the most popular would feature _____ and _____.
If you can't defeat your enemies in battle, there's always _____.
In his next book, George RR Martin will spend 500 pages to describe _____.
In the game of _____ you win or you _____.
In the House of the Undying, Danny saw a vision of _____.
Khal Drogo's morning ritual included _____ and _____.
Last time Cersei had too much to drink, she had a bad experience with _____.
Littlefinger's nickname was a direct result of _____.
Maester Luwin forged one of his links by _____.
My worst nightmare is meeting _____ face to face.
On her wedding day, Daenerys was presented with _____.
One needs _____ to make the eight.
Robert Baratheon secretly gave _____ to each of his bastards at their births.
The man who passes the sentence should swing the _____.
The mind needs _____ like a sword needs a _____.

The only game that matters is _____.
The things I do for _____.
Varys sometimes wishes his missing goods were replaced with _____.
When Daenerys emerged from the fire, her first wish was _____.
When King Joffrey wants to have fun, he asks for _____.
When traveling the Kingsroad, one should always bring _____ for good luck.
You know _____, Jon Snow.
10,000 horses
A crannongman with a hard-on.
A crown of molten gold.
A Dothraki wedding.
A dream of spring.
A dwarf riding a pig.
A faceless man.
A loaded crossbow.
A masterbating giant.
A Other orgy.
A scale from the dragon that flamed you.
A shadow-baby.
A troupe of mummers.
A Valyrian steel blade.
A white walker's frozen genitalia.
An entire Khalasar.
Arya.
Barack Obama's Red Wedding reaction video.
Bastards in their fathers' eyes.
Bees?
Between the legs of the Titan.
Blackwater Bay.
Blood Magic.
Bowl of brown.
Bread and salt.
Bronn's curved dagger.
Catelyn's everflowing river of tears.
Cave sex.
Dance.
Dorthraki accent.
Dothraki mating rituals.
Dracarys.
Dragon Porn.
Flea Bottom furries.
Foreskin.
George RR Martin.
Griffins.
Growing stronger.
Hear me roar.
Her weight in sapphires.
Hodor singing the GoT theme song.
HODOR!
Homoerotic overtones.
HOT PIE!
It rhymes with freak.
Jaime's sword hand.
Jojen's dreams.
Jon Snow's real parents.
Jon Snow's thousand yard stare.
Jon Snow's total lack of knowing things.
Khal Drogo's stallion.
Khaleesi.
Killing.
Lady.
Lannister twincest.
Lemoncakes.
Littlefinger.
Lysa Arryn's breast milk.
Maester Qyburn.
Making the eight.
Manticore Venom.
Meat & Mead.
Melisandre's flaming pyre.
Milk of the poppy.
More boobs.
Ned Stark's head.
Needle.
Pissing off the edge of the wall.
Podrick Payne's sexual prowess.
Polishing his helmet.
Prince Doran's gout.
Ramsey's sausage.
Ravens.
Renly's tourney lance.
Roose Bolton's used leeches.
Ros the whore.
Sandsnake fanfiction.
Sansa.
Ser Illyn Payne's hollow mouth hole.
Shitting gold.
Skagosi unicorns.
Spoilers from the next book.
Taking the throne.
Tansy tea.
Tears of Lys.
The Bear and the Maiden Fair.
The burnt side of the Hound's face.
The champion's “purse”.
The faith of the Seven.
The gold price.
The Horn of Winter.
The iron price.
The Kraken rises.
The long, slimy, smooth tentacles of a Kraken.
The Meereenese Knot.
The motherfuckin' Red Viper!
The Mountain's massive cock.
The nipple of an unsullied.
The old ways.
The Onion Knight's severed fingertips.
The prick of a rose's thorn.
The proud and noble House of Manwoody.
The public bathroom at Harrenhall.
The three-eyed raven.
The Tickler.
The truth about Jon and Sam.
The wintery abode of white walkers.
Tyrion.
Tywin's disappointed father face.
Vargo Hoat's beard fetish.
Varys's root and stem.
Virginity.
Walder Fry's puckered lips.
Walking the dragon.
Where whores go.
Wildfyre.
Winterfell.
Ygritte's lusty longbow.
Young Grif.
Grognards Against Humanity
https://boardgamegeek.com/filepage/80532/grognards-against-humanity
A fan-made expansion for CAH about horrible tabletop RPG stuff.
__________: The Storytelling Game.
A true gamer has no problem with __________.
Alignment: Chaotic __________.
Back when I was 12 and I was just starting playing D&D, the game had __________.
Big Eyes, Small __________.
Dnd 4.0 isn’t real dnd because of the __________.
Elminster cast a potent __________ spell and then had sex with __________.
In the grim darkness of the future there is only __________.
It’s a D&D retroclone with __________ added.

Linear Fighter, Quadratic __________.
My innovative new RPG has a stat for __________.

Pathfinder is basically D&D __________ Edition.
People are wondering why Steve Jackson published GURPS __________.
Storygames aren’t RPGs because of the __________.
The Deck of Many __________.
The portal leads to the quasi-elemental plane of __________.

The Slayer’s Guide to __________.
The Temple of Elemental __________.
What made the paladin fall?

Worst character concept ever: __________, but with __________.
You are all at a tavern when __________ approach you.
You start with 1D4 __________ points.
4rries.
A kick to the dicebags.
A ratcatcher with a small but vicious dog.
Ale and whores.
Amber Diceless Roleplaying.
BadWrongFun.
Bearded dwarven women.
Bigby’s Groping Hands.
Black Tokyo.
Boob plate armor.
Bribing the GM with sexual favors.
Cheetoism.
Comeliness.
Cthulhu.
Cultural Marxism.
Dice animism.
Dice inserted somewhere painful.
Dildo of Enlightenment +2.
Dissociated mechanics.
Dragon boobs.
Drizzt.
Drow blackface.
Dumbed down shit for ADD WoW babies.
Dump stats.
Dying during chargen.
Eurocentric fantasy.
FATAL.
Fishmalks.
Fun Tyrant.
Game balance.
Gamer chicks.
Gazeebos.
Gelatinous Cubes.
Githyanki therapy.
GNS theory.
Grimdark.
Grinding levels.
Grinding levels.
Grognards Against Humanity.
Gygaxian naturalism.
Healing Surges.
Killfuck Soulshitter.
Kobolds.
Lesbian stripper ninjas.
Lorraine Williams.
Magic missile.
Magical tea party.
Magical tea party.
Maid RPG.
Mark Rein•Hagen.
Martial dailies.
Mike Mearls.
Misogynerds.
Natural 20.
Neckbeards.
Nude larping.
Oozemaster
Owlbear’s tears.
Pissing on Gary Gygax’s grave.
Portable holes.
Quoting Monty Python.
Random chargen.
Rape.
Rapenards.
Rifts™.
Rocks fall, everyone dies.
Role-playing and roll-playing.
Ron Edwards’ brain damage.
RPG.net.
Sacred cows.
Save or die.
Slaughtering innocent orc children.
Slaughtering innocent orc children.
Special snowflakes.
Splugorth blind warrior women.
Steampunk bullshit.
Steve Jackson’s beard.
Storygames.
Swine.
THAC0.
The Crisis of Treachery™.
The entire Palladium Books® Megaverse™
The Forge.
The naked succubus in the Monster Manual.
The random prostitute table.
Total Party Kill.
Vampire: The Masquerade.
Verisimilitude.
White privilege.
The Most Popular Girls Against Humanity
http://populargirlsagainsthumanity.tumblr.com/
Cards for Cards Against Humanity based on the web series The Most Popular Girls in School. Cards
are posted to the linked Tumblr blog.
Last updated 8/23/17
______ is for people with time on their hands.

______ is so fuckin' Homeland.
______ is the last thing I give a shit about.
______ is the lowest form of life that exists on this planet.
______, ______, and ______ are part of my fucking work week.
______: now that's what's really gross.
______: sounds like HBO.
______.
No, ______.
No, both!
______pocalypse 2013.
Are you ready for me to blow your mind? ______ is just ______, but with ______!
Dad gave you that credit card for emergencies only, like buying cute underwear and ______.
Do you guys ever talk about anything other than ______?
Does ______ make your dick hard?
Does your pitch involve you buying me ______? Then I'm in.
Excuse me, I will cut a bitch if there is ______ somewhere in my chill.
God, why doesn't anyone want to make out with me?!

Hey knock knock, Taylor, who's there? ______!
Hey Popular People, ______ and ______ here!
I am the queen of ______.
I don't need a cruise, I don't need a vacation, I just need ______.
I don’t have ______. I'm not 12.
I had to break up with my boyfriend today. Yeah, because he likes ______ more than ______.
I have come to retrieve my, how do you say, "______"?

I need ______ to leave my butt hole.
I'm not eating, I had too many ______.
I'm not really one for ______, per se.
I'm partially deaf in my right ear after I got hit in the head by ______ in the third grade.
I've never eaten ______ before. Not bad.
If it weren't for ______, I would have died of an aneurism years ago.
Is "______" a curse word?
Is this jealousy I'm feeling? Nope, no that's just ______.
It's got _____, ______, and a ______ for your vagina.
Let the world know that they may take ______, but they will nefver take ______!
My dress doesn't match with ______.
No, ______. It's kinda like ______, but more tits.
Note to self: ______ and ______ do not mix.
Now I know what's going to be on the inside of my nightmares tonight.
Oh God, she's going to fuck ______.

Oh Jesus fucking ______, yes!
Overland park is a lot like _____: it's nice, some people like it, but let's by honest, it needs a lot of work.
Reach down and grab your dick. You got it? You got it in your hand? Now what's underneath that?
Santa Claus will make all of your dreams come true, provided your dreams do not include world
peace, cures for cancer, the ressurection of a loved one, or ______.
Sooooo…… you like ______?
Sounds like something ______ would say.
Sprechen sie ______?
Tag-hash Team ______.

The five pillars of cheerleading: being hot, bitching someone out, the art of the tease, gossip, and
______.
The food I serve is never not ______. ______ is kind of my thing.
The only three things I'm afraid of are Joseph Gordon-Levitt, the film adaptation of Mario Brothers,
and ______.
The only true happiness comes in ______.
There are only two things I care about in this world. One of them is ______, and the second is the career
of Ben Affleck.
This Halloween, I'm dressed as a sexy version of ______.
Wanna buy some ______?
What did you used to drink when you were a cheerleader?
What do we have for our winner, Vanna? A new car! I'm just kidding, it's ______.
What is the calm breeze in my fuck storm of a life that I'm living?
What is the cause to kill hipsterism?
What is the key to winning?
What the fuck is ______?
What the fuck is the wifi password?
What's gonna bring all the boys to the yard now?
What's touching me?!
Who else is wet in here!?
Who the fuck are you?

Who the fuck carries ______ around in high school?!
Who the fuck said ______ is second rate?!
Why is my peepee hard?
You know she's in charrge of ______, right? ______ is in charge of ______.
You say "potato", I say "______".
You were supposed to be watching ______.
You're ______, disappointing everybody.
$22,000.00
50 gallons of Alexander the Grape.
A $57 lunch.
A 31-year-old boyfriend.
A baguette in the, how you say, oven.
A bathroom with potted plants, jumbo tampons, and a bidet for your vagina.
A black man with no penis or testicles living in a wealthy Midwestern suburb.
A boy with a dream and a tripple-whip mocha frappe.
A bribe of smelly markers.

A bunch of off-brand dolls that came out of a K-Mart bargain bin.
A bunch of trick-ass hoes who couldn't fuck their way out of a paper bag.
A center for vacuum research and fetus disposal.
A chlamydia circus.
A choco-taco.
A closeted guy after three mojitos and a parachute of molly.
A cock-eyed nipple.
A congenital birth defect.
A copy of Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand, The 48 Laws of Power by Robert Green, a hard copy of Do You:
12 Laws to Access the Power in You by Russell Simons, the first 3 seasons of The Apprentice on DVD,
and a My Little Pony.
A crouton made from a whole loaf of bread.
A crowd-funded revenge campaign.
A diabetic foor that's been put in a sandwich and left in the sun.
A different Cher.
A DVR that only contains porn.

A four-hour parent teacher conference.
A fucking liar.
A giant garbage fire of a human being.
A girl you can use as a pool noodle.
A glass and a half of wine at lunch, an ice cold Zima when the sun is setting, Zinfadel spritzers when
I'm cooking dinner, several gin and tonics with my evening meal, some delicious cherry wine with
dessert, half a bottle of scotch, a quick shot of whiskey before bed, a spicy Bloody Mary in the
morning, a couple of wine coolers, and wine for lunch again.
A Greek sailor with a big hot dog.
A grown man tyring to talk like a teenage girl.
A hearty meal of grocery store sushi.

A hipster baby.
A human centipede of best friends.
A junior varsity bimbo who can barely do a somersault.
A ketchup boat.
A lesbian Inspector Gadget.
A little mid-afternoon phone sex, ha cha cha!
A mashed potato fountain.
A nice new friend you can send a bunch of dick-pics to.
A nice, big, juicy set of balls.
A night of hot, sweaty people dancing to alternative music and paying exorbitant amounts of money
for overpriced water and organic deli sandwiches.
A pity vote.
A pussy filled with gravy.
A quick shot of whiskey before bed so my dreams are peculiar and nice.
A ridiculously large hat.
A Ryan Cabrera promotional hackysack.
A second-rate hand job.
A slice of cheese-free, sauce-free, glutton-free pizza.

A small child excitedly proclaiming that they are peeing.
A special on meat salad.

A standard-feature Nissan Leaf.
A story that is very long and much more involved than you originally thought it would be.
A tampon that was dipped in Skittles and vomit.
A third grader singing "Tipsy" by J Kwon.
A tiny flasher.
A tremendous amount of fat.
A universe in which an emoji of pie proceeded by the words "want some" is not a clear indication that
you are in possession fo pie and are offering it to me.
A whoopsie poopsie.
A wonderful, beautiful gift given to you by God when he's tired of fucking you over.
All that mouth-on-mouth crap.
An aborted koala bear.
An adult man trying to act cool so a bunch of young people will like him.
An art history degree from a night school.
An enemy of my enemy thing.
An event that's kinda like Eyes Wide Shut but with only fat dudes.
An exploded testicle.
An exposeé on the secret lives of lunch ladies titled "Meat Flaps".
An iced coffee with three bars of Xanax ground into it.
An instagram effect that makes things look like boobs.
An open bar at a child beauty pageant.
An openly gay Combat Jack.
An overpriced hipster music fest.
Any ho trying to move in on my territory as top mistress.

Appropriate fun.
Asking Santa Claus for the repeal of Obamacare.
Asking Santa for male genitalia.

Basic bitches who just don't get it.
Being attracted to dudes' dicks.
Being half naked in a brothel wearing knee pads.
Ben Affleck holding two fucking girl's arms.
Blaming it on genetics.
Blowing up your best friend's car.
Boobs, tits, breasts, mountains, montanñ as.
Brownies laced with ecstacy.
Burning down a mall.
Buy three, get one free punch cards for abortion clinics.
Casting aspersions.
Chocolate dickburgers.
Cleaning semen out of the principle's office.
Cock pockets.
Cock-gobbling cum surfers.

Colorful poops.
Coloring, hopscotch and Napoleonic battle strategies.
Combining your whorishness with other talents.

Committing to the dick.
Contributing absolutely nothing to the world around me.

Cuba Gooding Jr. disappointing everybody.
Cum-hungry demon whores.
Dance routines, armless girls, the bickering of blond idiots, and whatever the fuck that is.
Delivering a foreign idiot's baby with the help of a cyborg, a dumbass, and two rags soaked in clam
chowder.
Destroying someone's life over a four-dollar Lunchables.
Dick burritos.
Diet air.
Doing whippets in the green room.
Downloading on a community wifi signal.
Dropping the baby.
Earning ten bucks and feeling great about yourself.
Eating a roly poly.
Examining Barbie's genitals.
Female pattern baldness.
Following a food truck on Twitter.

Fucking two balloons.
Full House references.
Full-calorie air.
Getting treated like a pincushion in the big house.
Getting your arms ripped off.

Giving birth on a high school cafeteria lunch table on two rags soaked in clam chowder.
Giving every boy in school a blow-J.

Giving people diarrhea for a living.
Going commando and waterfalling wherever the fuck you want.

Going upstairs and having sex.
Guys that can bang all night.
Half a jug of creatine.

Having some wine coolers at a party and making out a little bit.
Having to bring the guacamole to a cult meeting.
Head cheerleader, homecoming queen, part-time model.
Huffing paint with homeless guys behind the Ambica Food on Metcalf just to feel alive.
Justice and a Slim Jim.
Kicking your teacher in the balls.
Killing four men on the way to the party.
Kissing other boys' boyfriends.
Letting boys fuck you in your butthole, not your growler, but your butthole.
Listening to podcasts and watching old episodes of The State.

Literary dragons.
Losing 25% control of your sphincter muscles.
Lowering the self-esteem of somebody who's already got it worse than you.
Masturbating with a prosthetic arm.

Mercenary cheerleaders.
My beautiful, long dick.

My fucking douche.
My human vagina.
My vagina hole.
My vaginal dryness.
My vaginal reconstruction fund.

National Interscholastic Programming (N.I.P.).
Needing something to leave of your butthole.
Not much.
Nub meat.
One of those dead twin thingies.
Only having one ball.
Our great face-slapping program.
Parez Hilton's asshole.
Penises that would rather be inside of me.
People telling you how great their tweets are.
Pixie wishes and unicorn hugs.
Playing "hide the finger".
Playing boner bingo.
Pointing at your genitals and saying, "Do you like my sausage pizza? Get it? Get it? Sausage pizza? I'm
talking about my penis."
Pooping on everything within a 30-foot radius.
Pooping privileges.
Preparing a vegan meatball sandwich using only raw, organic ingredients.
Prepubescent taint ticklers.
Pressure blasting Mountain Dew out of your anus.
Psychopaths who blame you when someone else blows up their car.
Pulling your head out of your twat.
Putting laxatives in the cheerleaders' pre-pep-rally energy drinks.
Redheaded guys with beards.
Residual images of your fucking cunt look.
Returning an overdue movie to Blockbuster.

Riding a unicycle without a seat.
Ripping your daughter's face off and wearing it like a Hallloween mask.
Rubbing a cheese grater up and down the side of your penis.
Ruining every relationship you have in the course of a single year.
Saying "How do you say" before words you clearly know how to say.
Saying hurtful things in a really friendly tone.

Saying something to a sixteen-year-old that a normal person wouldn't say to Hitler.
Screeching like a Pterodactyl when you see your crush.
Second runner-up.
Semen on root beer.
Senator Hard-Dick.
Several helpings of chicken fried prime rib.
Shit from a butt that smells like bitch.

Shouting, "Get out of me!" while taking a shit.
Shoving a megaphone up someone's ass.
Showing everyone our dicks.
Slutty little whorebag bitchcunts.

Soggy tater tots.
Soggy taters.
Some goddamn winky faces and "JK"s in these fucking text messages.
Some good dicking.
Some of that rear-naked stuff.
Some sweet YouTube vids.
Some tater tots, a slice of pepperoni pizza, a basket of jalapeno poppers, some chicken nuggets, a
ketchup boat, three potato pancakes, a creamsicle, two quasadillas, a bread loaf, side of ranch, some
Pixie Stix, taco salad, order of ribs, aaaaaand a diet Coke... no, strawberry shake, no, diet Coke, no,
both.
Someone you don't really know enough to properly pass judgement but they're kind of annoying
already so for now they're on thin ice.
Something about a butthole.
Splash mountain coming out of your ass.
Supercool.
Sweaters with cats doing dog things.
Taking a train ride up old nostril mountain.
Television for Woment and Tweens (T.W.A.T.).
The 30 seconds of pump and grunt you call sex.

The a-word,
the b-word,
the c-word,
the d-word,
the e-word,
and the f-word.
The answer to a question I never asked.
The Association of Old Bitches Who Smell Weird and Serve Shitty Food to Minors While Making
Inappropriate Comments Under Their Breaths (the AOBWSWSSFMWMICUTB).
The blood of my enemies.

The bread loaf that's baking in my vagina.
The chafing nightmare that you call a handjob.
The difference between fucking hazelnut and motherfucking caramel.
The fucking fetus that's growing inside of the disease-ridden void that you call a goddamn womb.
The gayest movie of the summer.
The girl who monster dumped on two prom court members, a Candy Cane Princess, and the junior
class treasurer.
The hungriest gnome.
The IBS community.

The letter zero.
The marker spins.
The old vice-a-versa-visa.
The pointy end of your grandfather's cock.
The precious moments that will later be revealed to be complete and utter lies.
The pusseeeyyy.
The reason why I haven't been able to get wet in the last ten years.
The reason you always chew croutons.
The sacred sorority of Brittanys.
The spank bank.
The stress of seeing a fully-clothed man.
The things you'll do for $4.50 an hour.
The third grade.
Thinking a pregnancy test is an iPod Shuffle.
Those goddamn antics.
Throwing up red blood.
Treating each other like fucking adults.
Two dudes locked in a cage going at each other.

Two-hole dick tits.
Using a life-sized Stature of Liberty model as a dildo.
Watching Cloud Atlas for four fucking hours.
Watching someone be publicly destroyed once and for all.
Whatever the fuck you want it to mean.
Where your bullshit ends and your stupid fucking pigtails begin.
Wildly shitting.
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Cards Against Astronomy
https://cosmoquest.org/x/spaceplay/files/2014/03/Cards_Against_astronomy.pdf
An astronomy themed fan expansion.
_________ is the true center of the Galaxy.

_________ understands quantum physics with its implications for Dark _________.
_________ will become our North Star in 12,000 years.
_________, next on Cosmos.
A new module is being added to the space station. What is it for?
A new planet was just discovered. What should it be named?
A new space telescope is being built to study the effects of _________ on _________.
A parsec is a measure of _________.
A photon walks into a bar and says, "I've lost my _________. Can you point me to the _________?"
According to Wallace and Gromit, the Moon is made of _________.
After its optics upgrade, the Hubble Space Telescope could clearly see _________.
Aliens arrive and world leaders send welcome presents. Your country sends _________.
Aliens invade! How do we fight back?
Step 1: _________
Step 2: _________
As a grad student, I spent most of my time with _________.

Astronomers discover a new _________ shaped nebula. They call it _________.
Astronomical research leads to unexpected discoveries, such as __________.
Big meteors seem to target Russia because of _________.
Billions and billions of _________.
Black holes only exist because of _________.
Demios is jealous fo Phobos' _________.

Due to budget cuts, the space agency has been forced to cancel the _________ program.
During the space race, the Soviets were the first to have _________ in space.
Edwin Hubble to Vesto Slipher: " My goodness, look at that _________!"
Even the awesomeness of its laser could not sace Curiosity from _________.
Everyone says that the Cold War was the reason. Really, we went to the Moon for _________.
Everything in the Universe is either _________ or _________.
Falling into a black hole sucks! But it's a good thing you have your trusty _________.
For my birthday, my grad students got me _________.

Galileo Galilei first used his telescop to look at _________.
Having sex in space is something referred to as _________.
History claims it was his astronomy that got Galileo in trouble. In truth, it was _________.
History says it was the fruit fly, but what was REALLY the first living thing in space?
I can't believe that star is catalouged with the name _________.
I discovered the first _________ in _________.
I just terraformed Mars using _________ and _________.
I lost my space telescope due to a _________ error.
I never thought I'd be cleaning up after _________ at the Galactic Bar.
I solved the three-body problem when I crossed _________ and _________.
I stayed up to watch the launch because of _________.
I studied _________ for my Ph.D. dissertation.

I'm not saying it's aliens, but it's _________.
If I could take only two things to Mars, they would be _________ and _________.
In a few centuries, Voyager will reach _________.

In the words of Carl Sagan, we are all made of _________.
Intergalactic space is actually full of _________.
Is that _________ in your pants or are you just happy to see me?
It is absolutely essential to bring _________ when colonizing a new planet.
Landing _________ on Europa would have been a lot easier if it weren't for _________.
Little known fact: The Hubble Space Telescope was originally designed with _________.
My computer keeps giving me an Error: _________.
My favorite constellation is _________.
Never look directly at _________.
Nmothing goes faster thatn the speed of light, except maybe _________.
On the Space Station, astronauts use _________ to keep busy.
One small step for _________, one giant leap for _________.
Orbiting hotels will include complimentary _________.
Out of everything we thought we'd see on Pluto, we certainly didn't expect to find _________.
Pamela Gey conned me into doing the Space Hangout by threatening me with _________.
Scientist are worried about the effect of __________ during the long term spaceflight.
SETI finally gets a signal. What do the aliens say?
Space is mostly full of _________.
Supermassive black holes have so much _________ because of _________.
Supernovae form from a collapsing _________.
That's not a fuzzy blob, that's _________.
The commander stared aghast at the rapidly approaching _________.
The four gas giants are Jupiter, Saturn, _________, and Neptune.
The ghost of Martians past look a lot like _________.
The high resolution images of the _________ Nebula reveals evidence of _________.
The internet is for _________.
The latest Japanese robot has _________.
The nearest _________ is ONLY 80 million light years from Earth.

The next destination for the Spaceship of the Imagination is _________.
The next Mars landing protocol nickname is _________.

The only thing Cmdr. Hadfield wasn't allowed to tweet was a picture of _________.
The secret to faster-than-light travel is _________.
The two Gemini telescopes are named _________ and _________.
This year's Nobel Prize for Physics is for the discovery of _________.
To detect the cosmic microwave background, you need _________.
To make the math easier, I just assumed _________ were spherical.
Tyco Brahe had a nose made of _________.
We need more _________ in order to better understand _________.
We sent a greeting into space. Aliens sent back instructions on how to make _________.
We were blown away to find that the Universe had evolved from _________.
We won't get our funding renewed unless we invoke _________ in the next proposal.
What are stars made of?
What better way for humankind's first colony to die than by _________.
What do astronauts think about just before launch?
What does a black hole smell like?
What is a Phil Plait's most attractive feature?
What is humanity's greatest accomplishment?

What is the best thing about being in zero-G?
What is the main reason for why Pluto is no longer a planet?
What is the worst thing for an astronaut to hear from mission control?
What should I use to survive the vacuum of space?
What would you take on a one-way trip to Mars?
When 006 fell of the line feed at Arecibo Observatory, he screamed, "_________!"
When aliens first visited Earth, they confused _________ with _________.
When I said white dwarf, I didn't mean __________.
When Neil deGrasse Tyson hears _________, he can't help but think about _________.
When Voyager I left the Solar System, we didn't realize it would be entering _________.
When William Herschel first discovered _________, he wanted to call it _________.
When you look at M101, you see _________.
Who killed Pluto?
Why am I optically thick?
You are on the first Virgin Galactic™ flight! What have you brought with you?
43 arcseconds per century.

99.9% the speed of light.
A 10-inch Dobsonian.
A band trip to the heart of a globular cluster.
A big red button.
A bomb.
A book of Vogon poetry.
A breeding pair of stuffed rhinos.
A celestrial mechanic.
A champagne supernova.
A child's spacesuit filled with urine.
A collision with Pluto.
A comet's tail.
A compact dwarf.
A constellation shaped like a vagina.
A cosmic string quartet.
A crusty neutron star.
A cryostasis chamber.
A cscorching ball of plasma.
A cubic fuckton of empty space.
A dancing asteroid.
A derelict satellite.
A Dicke-switched super-heterodyne.
A distorted primary mirror.
A giant bowl of spicy guacamole.
A graveyard of failed creationist ideas.
A gravitational assist.
A huge asteroid.
A huge Celestron™.
A long, lonely night at the telescope.
A luminous blue variable.
A mass spectrometer.
A migraine-inducing meeting.
A model of the Solar System.
A moon of Uranus.
A naked singularity.
A nervous, sweaty grad student on exam day.
A new law of physics.
A pale blue dot.
A Parsec Award winning podcast.
A person in a labcoat arguing with a squirrel.
A planet-killer.
A pulsar with a period of 10-12 seconds.
A raspberry-flavored nebula.
A red giant's mass ejection.
A silicon based life form.
A sonic screwdriver.
A speechless Neil deGrasse Tyson.
A steampunk telescope.
A supermassive black hole with a taste for humans.
A telescope with an interesting acronym.
A threesome with Castor and Pollux.
A triangular rubber coin 6,800 miles on a side.
A trip to the center of the Galaxy to meet an alien pretending to be God.
A triple-fried egg chili and chutney sandwich.
A very noisy astronomer.
A wormhole.
A xenophobic first contact ambassador.
Abuse of the Doppler Effect.
Accretion disk.
Alien chest-bursters.
Aliens.
All of Jupiter's moons.
All the coffee in the world.
All the iridium in the asteroid belt.
All the missing socks.
All-nighters.
Altitude sickness.
Amelia Earhart.
An endless gravitational well.
An ewok in a lake of liquid fart.
An ex-planet.
An extinction level event.
An extroverted aerospace engineer.
An infinite wormhole.
An inflatable space station.
An iPad.
An opaque shopping bag sealed shut with lightly chewed gum.
An x-ray binary.
Analog star charts.
Ancient Astronauts.
Angry Richard Dawkins.
Anomalous Cepheids.
Another terrible photo from your smartphone.
Anti-gravity.
Area 52.
Arecibo Observatory.
Astrologers.
Astronaut diapers.
Astronaut ice cream.
Astronauts spending all their time on Twitter.
Atmosphere scrubbers.
Awkwardly getting close to Orion's Belt.
Bailey's beads.
Batman breathing is space.
BATMOON!!!
Being anally probed.
Being hunted by Orion.
Bill Nye's hair.

BILLIONS and BILLIONS of Carl Sagans.
Billions and billions of hours of telescope porn.
Billions and billions.
Black hole to bulge mass relation.
Black Jesus.
Black on the right side, white on the left.
Blackbody radiation.
Brass ovaries.
Bruce Willis' space drill.
Burning up in the atmosphere.
Buzz Aldrin punching a guy in the face.
Buzz Aldrin.
Buzz Aldrin's left hook.
Buzz Aldrin's plastic surgeon.
Buzz Aldrin's PR agent.
Camilla, the rubber chicken.
Carbonaceous chondrite meteroites that look like poop.
Carl motherfucking Sagan.
Carl Sagan.
Carl Sagan's apple pie.
Carl Sagan's remains.
Carl Sagan's turtleneck.
Caroline Herschel.
Cats playing piano.
Chandrasekhar limit.
Chocolate ganache.
Chocolate.
Chris Hadfield's mustache.
Chris Hadfield's Space Oddity video.
Cleaning high precision optics with spit and coarse brown paper.
Clitstalation.
Congress slashing science budgets.
Conservation of angular momentum.
Cookies shaped like galaxies.
Copius amounts of alcohol.
Core-collpase supernovae.
Coronal hole.
Coronal mass ejection.
Cosmic Microwave Background Radiation.
Crashing a lander due to a unit conversion error.
Cybernetic enhancements.
Dancing a naked jig on the primary mirror.
Dark energy.
Dark matter.
Darth Vader.
Dashcams.
David Boreanaz.
Dehydrated ice cream.
Dick Cheney's head, kept alive in oxygenated liquid and glitter.
Dihydrogen monoxide.
Dirty snowballs.
Double asteroid.
Dozen of hot Jupiters.
Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
Drawing a penis on Mars.
Drinking and deriving.
Dry merger.
Duck Dodgers of the 24½ Century!
Dying alone in the cold, silent vacuum of space.
Eccentricity.
Einstein's hair.
Ejecta blanket.
Enough weed to let you see the pictures in the constellations.

Enterprise.
Eruptive prominence.
Every third full moon.
Experience the deep sensual pleasure of multivaiate calculus.
Explosive decompression.
Fabry-Perot Interferometer.
Farting in a spacesuit.
Fear of electromagnetic radiation.
Finding Waldo.
Fingering the outer rim.
Firing a gun at the primary mirror.
First Contact.
Flocculence.
Frakking cylons.
Frakking toasters.
Fraser Cain's science circle.
Galactic bulge.
Galactic cannibalism.
Galileo as an awkward teenager.
Genitalia unrestrained by the force of gravity.
Geostationary orbit.
German equatorial mount.
Getting to third base on the Saturn V.
Globular cluster.
Glory, honor, and cash.
Going bibbly in the black.
Grant writing.
Greatest elongation.
Hal 9000.
Halley's Comet.
Han Solo, the motherfucker who shot first.
Happy trees.
Hawking Radiation.
Heart shaped boxes.
Het death of the universe.
High metallicity.
Holistic detective.
Hot Pockets™.
Hot space sex.
Huffing rocket fuel.
Human casualties of the robot uprising.
Hydrostatic equilibrium.
Hyper-dimensional beings bent of harvesting brains.
Intense solar winds.
International collaboration via Skype.
Interplanet Janet.
Interstellar orgies.
Intravenously drinking two bottles of Everclear.
Issac Newton's apple.
Jean-Luc Picard's "The Inner Light" flute stuck up Worf's ass.
John Mather's Nobel Prize.
Just another Kuiper Belt object.
Kayaking the methane lakes of Titan.
KHAAAAAAN!!!
Kirkwood Gaps.
Klingon space.
Laser-wielding robots.
Late-night observing runs.
Laughing uncontrollably at the mention of Uranus.
Leftover bottles from the previous night.
Libration.
Light pollution.
Liquid hot magma.
Little Green Men.
Lobate scarps.
Losing bone mass.
Mars Polar Lander.
Mental incapacitation at the high altitude of Atacama Desert.
Messier marathon.
Michael Collins masturbating as he watches Neil and Buzz on the Moon.
Microbes in space.
Mike Brown, destroyer of worlds.
Mind bullets.
Moon Cannon.
Movies like Armageddon.
My asteroid belt.
My dream space vacation.
My mother-in-law's heliopause.
My towel.
Mysterious clouds od green space gas.
Nazis on the Moon.
Neil Armstrong's right boot.
Neil deGrasse Tyson's mustache.
Nerds.
Observatory cats.
Olympus Mons.
Optical depth.
Orbital insertion.
Orion's sword.
Pan-galactic gargle blaster.

Panspermia.
Parabolic tentacles.
Penis-shaped rockets.
Pigeon poop.
Pitching a tent under the stars.
Planet cake-pops.
Plowing face-first into Saturn's rings.
Plutonium P32 space modulator.
Pooping into a tube.
Proton-proton chain.
Ptolemy's epicycles.
Puking in zero-G.
Quantum foam, with a touch of racism.
Quark Gluon Plasma.
Quasars.
Radio dong.
Radio lobes.
Radio waves.
Recycled human waste.
Redshirts.
Relativity.
Research funding.
Richard Branson terraforming the Universe.
Richard Garriott's hair.
Ridiculous internet memes.
Riding a comet rodeo style, into the surface of the Earth.
Russell's Teapot.
Sally Ride's infinite cockblock.
Sarcastic Rover.
Saturn's hexagon.
Schrodinger's cat.
Science friction.
SCIENCE!!!!
Scorpions.
Sea floor spreading.
Self-sealing stembolts.
Sequestration.
Seven minutes of terror.
Sir Isaac Newton's wig.
Sneaking in a nap while running the telescope.
Sneaking liquor onto the space shuttle.
Socially awkward astronomers.
Solar flares.
Solar prominence.
Sound in space.
Space chimp.
Space dysentery.
Space leggings.
Space marines.
Space pirates.
Spacely Sprockets.
Spaghettification.
Spending all night at Mauna Kea.
Spent rocket booster.
Spherical aberration.
Spherical coordinate system.
Sputnik.
Staring at the sun.
Strange quarks.
Student loan debt.
Subluminal 'shrooms.
Swollen red giants.
Tachyons.
Tang.
Tau Boo B.
Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.
Telescope lube.
Television "science".
The "face" on Mars.
The "sky crane" maneuver.
The 57th digit of pi.
The Bad Astronomer.

The Beagle probe crashing into Mars.
The Big Rip.
The burning rage of 1,000 suns.
The Challenger explosion.
The Cigar Galaxy.
The collapsing Universe.
The daydreams of bored students.
The destruction of all intelligent life in the Galaxy.
The electromagnetic spectrum refracted in raindrops.
The event horizon.
The first porno filmed in space.
The Galactic Anti-Center.
The ghost of Frank Poole.
The Goldilock's Zone.
The grand unification theory.
The great colonic storms of Venus.
The Great Red Spot.
The Horsehead.
The human need for exploration.
The incredible dwarf planet uprising of 2042.
The Infinite Improbability Drive.
The instability strip.
The Jewish boy who had to wash von Braun's dirty briefs.
The last thing you'd expect.
The Medium Sized Dipper.
The Mighty Ducks.
The mighty tardigrade.
The Milky Way.
The mind-numbing chatter of the cosmic background.
The Monolith.
The msic of the spheres.
The next Sloan Digital Sky Survey.
The Oort Cloud.
The pre-solar nebula.
The prime focus cage.
The rings around Uranus.
The rings of Saturn.
The Schwartzschild radius.
The Seven Sisters.
The seventh chevron.
The shrinkage Han Solo experienced in carbonite.
The Space Station toilet.
The Space X™ parking lot.
The speed of light.
The speed of stupid.
The Star Wars Christmas special.
The three-body problem.
The Tim Tam™ Slam.

The Unabridged Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
The Very Large Array.
The Virgo Cluster.
The Virtual Star Party.
The Vomit Comet.
The width of an F-1 engine.
Things that go bang.
Thor's hammer, forged in the heart of a dying star.
Three flights of Jupiter-C.
Tidal stress.
Tidal stripping.
Timey-wimey wibbly wobbly.
Trojan asteroid.
Turtles all the way down.
Tweeting from a space toilet.
Ultra-high energy cosmic rays.
Unit conversions.
Unlimited green cheese.
Uranus.
V-Ger.
Valles Marineris, the vagina of Mars.
Van Allen belt and suspenders.
Vending machines.
Venera 13.
Venusian clouds.
Video game physics.
Vladimir Putin.
Voyager 1 leaving the Solar System… again.
Warp drive.
Waxing crescent.
Werner von Braun.
Whales in space.
Whispers in space.
White holes.
White on the right side, black on the left.
William Shatner's hairpiece.
Wnesleydale.
Yoda's rage.
Young Stephen Hawking.
Yuri's Night.
Zero-G coitus.
Zero-G toilet.
Cards Against Humanity Disney Expansion

http://www.disneylies.com/blog/2014/12/16-cah/
A Disney themed expansion created by the Disney Lies blog.
__________ is a half-day attraction at best.

__________ is a wish your heart makes.
__________ is closed for refurbishment.
Captain EO? More like Captain __________.
Do you want to build __________?

For your safety, remain seated with your seat belts fastened, keeping __________ inside the
bobsled.
How typical. __________ exits into __________.
Is this haunted room actually __________?
Make Mine __________!
My favorite Disneyland attraction is the Hall of __________.
Rumor has it there’s __________ inside the Matterhorn.
Since when is __________ a Disney princess?

The Handsome Prince saved Snow White from death with __________.
The Three Cabilleros: Donald Duck, __________, and __________.

They say “guest,” but what they mean is __________.
We have 999 happy haunts, but there’s room for __________
We spent all afternoon at __________’s lair on __________ Island.
What they need is an attraction based on __________.

Which would you choose: __________ or being stuck for an hour on __________?
Yo ho, yo ho, __________ for me!
A child screaming its head off from overstimulation.
A churro.
A commemorative window.
A coonskin cap.
A Disneyland character with its head off.
A drawer full of old ticket books.
A magical day.
A maniac in a motorized wheelchair.
A novelty hat that you’re going to wear once and then stuff in a closet.
A Photopass photographer.
A protein spill.
A secret basketball court.

A thematically related gift shop.
Aging Mouseketeers.
An abominable snowman named Harold.
An emergency bathroom break.

An enormous collection of theme park napkins.
An Experimental Prototype Community of Tomorrow.
An expired FASTPASS.
An unexpected soft opening.
Animatronic Abraham Lincoln.
Another damned hidden Mickey.
Bambi’s mom.
Buzz Lightyear Astro Blasters.
Cartoons with racist subject matter.
Collectable pins.
Corporate sponsorship.
Cruella de Ville’s tailor.
Dinner at Club 33.
Disney dollars.
Endlessly singing “Let It Go”.
Fanatical copyright lawyers.

Fantasyland.
Fireworks.
Flash photography.
Four fingers.
Gaston’s decorating.
Getting lost in a maze of utilidoors.
Grim grinning ghosts.

Hundreds of “it’s a small world” dolls.
Imagineering.
Indiana Jones’ gigantic ball.
Main Street, U.S.A..
Making movies based on stories that are in the public domain.
Massive post-fireworks crowds.
Michael Eisner.
Mickey Mouse.
Monorail Blue.
Mr. Incredible.
Oswald the Lucky Rabbit.

Overpriced crap.
Overpriced tickets.
Peeing in the Knotts Berry Farm parking lot.
Pleasure Island.
Renting a wheelchair you don’t need.
Singing pirates.
Slue Foot Sue’s Golden Horseshoe Review.
Soap suds pretending to be snow.
Splash Mountain.
Spontaneously breaking into song.
Standing in line until your feet bleed.
Stroller parking.
The back side of water.
The Dumbo queue.
The frozen head of Walt Disney.
The ghost of the old lady that died in the Haunted Mansion.
The happiest place on earth.
The Love Bug.
The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh.
The Mexico pavilion.
The Mine Train Through Nature’s Wonderland.
The original budget for California Adventure.
The Primeval World Diorama.
The tiki tiki tiki tiki tiki room.
The wildest ride in the wilderness.
Tinker Bell.
Walt Disney’s apartment.
Watching through a window as people make candy.
Whatever happened to Huey, Dewy, and Louie’s parents.
Your hands, arms, feet, and legs.
Cards of Mass Destruction
This set was briefly sold on eBay, but it was discovered that all the cards came from Reddit
(most likely from /r/cahideas). When the seller was confronted, he stopped selling the set. No
longer available.
_________ and _________: Still a better love story than Twilight.

_________ can help any relationship.
_________ is just a polite euphemism for _________.
_________ is the glue that keeps us together.
_________ vs. _________: The new SyFy Original Movie.
_________: Boil 'em, mash 'em, sticke 'em in a stew.
_________. No homo.
A fortune teller told me I will live a life filled with _________.
All players can discard and draw up to 2 new cards. Pick a new card after this one.
And now we're going to be fighting _________ on _________.

Apple has revealed they now have a patent for _________.
As a kid, I was afraid _________ was hiding under my bed.
Ask your doctor if _________ is right for you.
Best drink ever: One part _________, and a splash of _________.
For only 25¢ a day, you can provide a child in Africa with _________.
Heroin: a proud supporter of _________.
I have _________ - Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.
In an exclusive CNN interview the Pope revealed his new hobby, _________.
My best friend died texting while driving. The last text she sent before crashing was about
_________.
My favorite 4Chan thread was about _________.
Sticks and stones my break my bones, but _________ will never hurt me.
The best part of waking up is _________ in your cup.
The best xmas present my grandma ever gave me was _________.
The road to success is paved with _________/
This Thanksgiving, I'm most thankful for _________.
What is in my rape kit?
When life gives you _________, make _________.

When you wake up from a night of heavy drinking, you usually regret _________.
50 first rapes.
A banger in the mouth.
A bucket of angry tiger cubs.
A butt egg.
A courtesy fart.
A delicious baby.
A dick in a box.
A double rainbow.
A Fleshlight full of thumbtacks.
A girl on girl on girl on girl on girl on guy on sheep.
A guilt free Holocaust.
A horse-sized duck.
A love between two cousins.
A midget orgy.
A permanently closed vagina.
A pitcher full of bull semen.
A roofie cycle.
A snuggie with a dick-hole.
A T-Rex trying to masturbate.
A tactical back flip.
A Trayvon Martini with a side of Skittles.
A trunk full of dead hookers.
A Wank sock.
A wheel chair death race.
A white kid saying the N-Word.
Abortion omelette.
Accidental penetration.
Accidentally discovering a video of your grandmothers gang rape.
Accidentally emailing sexual fanfick to your professor.
Allah.
An ex with benefits.
An inappropriate boner.
An over the pants HJ.
An uncomfortably attractive pre-op tranny.
Applebee's.
Aquaman drowning.
Asparagus Pee.
Beard burn on my thighs.
Beating little kids at Pokemon until they cry.
Being gay for pay.
Being the designated drunk.
Bill O'Reilly.
Binders full of women.
Borat's one piece.
Camel Toe.
Campbell s Chunky Kitten Soup.
Catholic Church Tickle Parties.
Causing your ex to become gay.
Chugging anonymous breast milk.
Cleaning poop stains off the toilet by peeing on them extra hard.
Cleavage.
Cock-flavored spit.
Consensual rape.
Cowbell.
Crack.
Crossing streams at a urinal.
Cum filled Twinkies.
Cunnilingus.
D.D.A.M.: Drunk Drivers Against Mothers.
Death by snu-snu.
Debilitating ass cramps.
Donkey Punches.
Drawschwits: Hitler's Academy of the Arts.
Ejaculating on the cat by accident.
Elephant Nipples.
Erotic Pottery Making.
Exposing yourself on ChatRoullette.
Fapping on the family computer.
Fat nerdy kids wearing speedos.
Filming a Harlem Shake video at a seizure clinic.
Fucking Paula Deen and using butter for lube.
Full-on fisting.
Gang bangs of New York.
Gays Gone Wild.
George Zimmerman knocking up Casey Anthony.
Getting caught in a bukkake crossfire.
Getting cock-blocked by Steve Jobs.
Getting fired from a blow job.
Getting head while driving.
Getting high on bath salts.
Giving a bikini wax to Richard Simmons.
Going full retard.
Good Will Humping.
Harvesting your own organs.
Having a blind person call you ugly.
Hitler's House of Barbecue.
Hitting a motherfucker with another motherfucker.
Homoerotic subtext between two grown men playing video games.
Hot, barely-legal, Amish girls on Rumpringa.
Hugging your grandmother while you have an erection.
Jail bait.
Jewish Easy Bake Ovens.
Justin Beiber's asshole.
Ladies' underwear purchassed from a vending machine.
Leaving a Dirty Sanchez moustache on a woman after anal sex.
Legitimate rape.
Literally sucking a bag of dicks.
Lore of the Cock Rings.
Men in Black Women.
Menstruation juice.
Misunderstood pedophiles.
Morning wood.
Murder boner.
Ocean's 11 inches.
Octomom.
On hundred duck-sized horses.
Paula Deen, covered in butter, shouting the N-Word.
Paying the Iron Price for a Klondike Bar.
Peeing at the same bush even though there are other bushes available.
Pony sex.
Pooping after a corn festival.
PornHub.
Prom Night Dumpster Baby.
Pron on YouTube.
Prostate orgasms.
Punching a baby.
Rage quitting during sex.
Raping a dolphin in the blow hole.
Raping shoes.
Riding Miss Daisy.
Ron Jeremy's massive equine dong.
Rule 34.
Schindler's Fist.
Secretly impregnating a neighbor's horse.
Seeing accidental nudity on Facebook.
Seeing your sister in the porn you're watching.
Sending unsolicited dick pics to every girl in a 50 mile radius on OKCupid.
Shitting your pants to end a bad date early.
Slow dance boners.
Sonic the Hedgehog on meth.
Spinning your penis like a helicopter repeatedly.
Standing next to short people to use them as armrests.
Stealing wheelchairs.
Stepping on a lego.
Steve Buscemi's dreamy eyes.
Sucking dick forbringing
Surreptitiously Buffalo Nickles.
a woman to climax with a bread stick at the classiest restaurant in
town.
Temporary down syndrome.
Terabytes of horse porn.
The 9 of 10 people that enjoy gang rape.
The asshole sitting on my right.
The backroom casting couch.

The battered women's shelter.
The D.E.N.N.I.S. System.
The large Hadron collider.
The promising lives of Steubenville Rapists.
The soft, warm, silky interior of an unwilling sheep.
The sound Gilbert Gottfried makes when someone extinguishes a cigar on his neck.
The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles running a train on April O'Neill.
The unused vagina of an elderly nun.
Throwing a jew down a well.
Tiger's Wood.
Tits.
Titty-fucking contests.
Torturing a Sim modeled after your ex.
Tricking you pregnant girlfriend into taking an abortion pill.
Twincest.
Unwanted assisted suicide.
Using the tears of an abused toddler to conquer my foes.
Vaginal Hubris.
Weapons of Ass Destruction.
Wearing the genitals of a defeated enemy around your neck as a trophy.
Westboro-babtist-church-mingle.com
Wincest.
Womb Raider.
Hawaii 2 Custom Cards
Custom cards created by someone in the /r/holidaybullshit subreddit to celebrate the solving
of the "12 Days of Holiday Bullshit" puzzle.
Being the crazy person who opened the safe.
Being /r/holidaybullshit, the first people to open the safe.
Hawaii 2
Ladies Against Humanity
http://ladiesagainsthumanity.tumblr.com/
A fan-made, lady-centric expansion.

_________ will almost definitely happen before someone asks about abortion at a Democratic
debate.
____________: That's a deal-breaker.
_________: the Tori Amos song that changed my life.
50 Shades of _________.
All I need to bring a man to his knees is a gold pen around my neck and _________.
All I want for Pi day is _________ and 3.14 actual pies.
Are you there, God? It's me, _________.
At the next Republican National Convention, Clint Eastwood will use a chair for _________.
Baby, what's wrong?
Claudette Colvin is most famous for doing what Rosa Parks did 9 month earlier, but she's
*second* most famous for _________.
Daddy? What are you doing?
Derek Jeter will retire at the end of next season to spend more time _________.
Detective Stabler's latest rage blackout was brought on by _________.
Do you have something you'd like to share with the class?

Draw me, Jack. Draw me like _________.
Even though I'm not married, my life is still meaningful. Why, just the other day, I _________!
Hey, Susie. I know your job is _________, but can you just grab me _________? Thanks.
How do I celebrate beating all my male co-workers in the office March Madness pool?
I couldn't help but wonder: was it Mr. Big, or was it _________?
I find that _________ helps me locate my IUD strings.
I know it looks like that guy on the subway is masturbating, but really he's _________.
I thought I'd win her heart by _________, but sadly McKayla was not impressed.
I'm not a smoker at all, just sometimes I need a cigarette to deal with _________.
I'm not even thinking about having a baby because I'm extremely busy _________.
I'm so excited! I'm so excited! I'm so... so... _________.
If you don't mind me asking, how *do* lesbians have sex?
In "A Time to Kill," Matthew McConaughey hated racism more than _________.
In her next romcom, Katherine Heigl plays a women who falls in love with her boss's _________.
Instead of a diamond ring, I want my partner to spend two months' salary on _________.
It's not cheating if I'm _________.
It's not length, it's _________.
It's not that I think we should break up, it's just lately I've been thinking a lot about _________.
It's poker night with Beyonceé . You pull _________ out of your bra and slam it on the table.
Letting a white bro think he understands _________ better than you do.
MASH: Mansion, Apartment, Shack, _________.
Math is hard. Let's go _________!
Men are from _________, women are from _________.
No, Elliot, two minutes of oral sex is not enough to give me an orgasm. I'll also need
_____________.
Obamacare has been criticized for restricting women's access to _________.
On a tough day, what's that one special thing Coach Taylor does to make you feel better?
On Wednesdays, we wear _________.
One magical property common to unicorn blood, dragon blood, and Diva Cup blood is _________.
Pardon me while I take up less space so a man can have more room for _________.
She may not be fazed by Richard Sherman, but Erin Andrews is terrified of _________.
Shortly after the repeal of DOMA, Dumblerdore was seen _________.

Sofia Coppola's new film focuses on a wealthy young white woman feeling alienated by
_________?
Something old, something new, something borrowed, and _________.

Sometimes I want to thank my one guy friend who's a legit baller feminist by _________.
That's why her hair is so big. It's full of _________.

The best excuse to not do that exercise groupon is _________.
The latest proposal in the Texas legislature is to take away _________ from women.
The newest royal baby bears an alarming resemblance to _________.
The only thing more boring than your new diet is _________.
The Pantone color of the year is inspired by _________.

The secrets to John Boehner's smooth, even tan are a cream made from aborted fetuses and
_________.
The thing I want most for Valentine's Day is my own set of "Ladies Against Humanity" cards,
but the thing I want second-most is _________.
This month in Cosmo: How to give your man _________ at the expense of _________.
This year's top Super Bowl commercial will use _________ to advertise Budweiser beer.
We are never, ever, ever, ever _________.
What do I see in the Mirror of Erised?
What fell into my bra?
What is Oliva Pope's secret to removing red wine stains from white clothes?
What made this the most dramatic rose ceremony ever?
What makes a man sponge-worthy?

What should I get my therapist for Christmas?
What was Barty Crouch *really* doing in the Forbidden Forest?
What will Bill Clinton's social cause be as First Man?
What's in the gift baskets Derek Jeter gives to his one-night-stands?
What's my preferred method of contraception?
What's my preferred way of celebrating International Women's Day?
What's my weapon of choice in the "War on Women"?
What's one thing straight white guys like even better than feeling oppressed?
What's Seth MacFarlane's problem?
What's the most privileged thing I do on the regs?
What's the one thing that worries Russia's anti-gay police even more than the entire sport of
figure skating?
What's the one totally unexpected thing that helps Emeril stay hard?
What's the real reason there's no Wonder Woman movie?
What's the secret ingredient in Proactiv®?
What's the weirdest thing that's been in my vagina?
Whatever, Peeta. You'll never understand my struggle with _________.
When I found out PARKS & REC was renewed for a seventh season, I celebrated by _________.
When Queen Elizabeth has to keep smiling, she just thinks of _________.
When they finally convince Chris Harrison to be The Bachelor, I'll win his heart by _________.
Why can't we have nice things?
Why do men on the internet send me pictures of _________?
Why does the Komen Foundation hate Planned Parenthood?
Why exactly was Alanis so mad at Uncle Joey?
You know nothing, Jon Snow, but you're pretty good at _________.
#solidarityisforwhitewomen.
A $20 bill with Harriet Tubman's face on it.
A 23%-off sale to celebrate Women's Equality Day.
A bill allowing establishments to refuse service to homophobic legislators.
A bill to defund Republicans in Congress.
A blazing Valentine's Day bonfire torching every moronic column that advises women on how
not to end up single on Valentine's Day.
A bodice-ripping 4-way with Alexander Skarsgaů rd, Ian Somerhalder, and David Boreanaz.
A brown smudge equally likely to be period blood or chocolate.
candlelight
A CNN article vigil for Nicole
touting, BrownNew
"A Shocking Simpson.
Study Shows Women Aren't Treated Equally With
Men."
A detailed vajazzling of Van Gogh's Starry Night.

A dozen Sprinkles cupcakes smeared on my naked body.
A fantasy film that takes place in an alternate reality where, amazingly, everyone is white.
A fantasy roadtrip with Anna Kendrick and Aubrey Plaza with burritos and mixtapes and
skinny-dipping under the stars and you all just laugh and laugh.
A federal holiday named after a black women (or any woman, for that matter).
A friendly reminder that Republicans are the only party actually killing babies.
A fun family cook-out grilling leftover dresses at Chez Gaga.
A gender neutral, owl-themed baby announcement.
A hand-crocheted Diva Cup case from Etsy.
A heaping dish of real talk served ice cold by Ashley Wagner.
A hot wet, trumpet of a fart when you're *nearly* sure your partner is out of earshot.
A humorless orgy filled with humorless feminists.
A joke too funny for women to understand.
A Kickstarter to buy an island and we all move there and elect Hillary our queen
A lady superhero forced to do battle with a pasty white man bc THEY ARE THE REAL ENEMY.
A late breaking addition to the Opening Ceremony that features the women of Pussy Riot
hooking up Putin's nipples and scrotum to high voltage electroshock.
A limited edition set of white people white cards about topics such as J. Crew, half-marathons,
and the world "articulate" just in time for Black History Month.
A middle school style 3-way call about what to wear to the party.
A misogynist dystopia set in the not-too-distant WAIT A MINUTE.
A much needed reminder that, all too often, "beauty standards" = "being white."
A new Congressional dress cose where if women can't wear sleeveless shirts, men must wear
muzzles.
A new cookbook by Sylvia Plath.
A new law forcing men to buy extra insurance in advance in case they someday need erectile
dysfunction meds.
A new law where anyone who votes to repeal access to healthcare loses their healthcare.
A one-on-one tutorial in fabulous from Janet Mock.
A one-way ticket to Steubenville.
A particularly vivid pregnancy dream spurred by post-dinner gas.
A perfect virginity story including a snowy night, a cozy cabin, and NBC news anchor Brian
Williams.
A personal style consultation from Lupita Nyong'o.
A quickie with Rachel Maddow in the green room.

A raging goodbye party for Bill O'Reilly to which he is absolutely not invited.
A reissue of Battleship where you have to find the clitoris.
A relationship-ending round of "Never Have I Ever."
A second trimester burrito baby.
A sneaker/diaper driver for your best friend Wendy Davis.
A solemn pledge never to vote for a white man for president ever again.
A soothing 6-handed massage from McDreamy, McSteamy and Yang after a really tough day at
work.
A special hell for Republicans who voted to repeal the ACA where they spend eternity in a
hospital waiting room knowing they can't afford treatment to save a loved one.
A stern and timely pep talk from Miss Tyra.
A strongly worded letter to Netflix demanding the addition of "The Good Wife."
A sturdy, resounding slap to the face of Vladimir Putin from the hand of Billie Jean King.
A sudsy soak in the prefect's bathroom with Cedric Diggory.
A tear staineddiscussion
thoughtful copy of Reviving
of musicOphelia.
and fashion with Lorde and Tavi over manis and
cappuccinos.
A torrid sex odyssey with President Fitzgerald Grant.
A toxic chemical fire fueled by all the make-up brands that don't make shades for people of
color.
A vagina mint. A mint for your vagina.
A vibrating Nuva Ring because why *wouldn't* that exist.
A vivid sex dream where Justin Trudeau takes you in his arms and assures you that everyone
will have access to health care.
A warm, cuddly hug from Phillip Seymour Hoffman.
Abortion Barbie®.
Accidentally making a duck face in the elevator mirror, immediately cringing in shame.
Accidentally pooping out the tampon.
Adele crooning under your ex's window 24/7 until he understands exactly what he did.
Alan Rickman murmuring sweet pillow talk that you can't understand a word of, but who
cares, just keep talking.
An 80-year-old woman with her 20-year-old lover.
An all-girl orgy comprised entirely of Cumberbitches.
An alternate version of the Washington Monument that looks kind of like a vagina.
An Auschitz-themed Olympic debutante party.
An electric probe that shocks male Supreme Court justices every time they interrupt their
female colleagues.
An unequivocal message to transgender/nonbinary/ gender non-conforming Americans that
we are with you. Always. No matter what.
Arthur Weasley's muggle porn.
Asking Gilbert Gottfried to do the Iago voice during sex.
Asking Larry Summers increasingly difficult mathematical questions until Bar and Bat
Mitzvahs
Asking theare considered
waiter equally
who tries important.
to take your half-finished burger away if he's out of his fucking
mind.
Asking your doctor to define "occasional drinker."
Audra McDonald and Idina Menzel serenading you with the most heartbreaking love song in
the history of everything.
Awkwardly explaining to your waiter that you're not actually anti-coat hanger.
Bandying Vampire Bill about the head and neck until he chooses Laura Benanti like a sane
person.
Banging Paul Rudd's ugly brother because close enough.
Beard burn on your labia.
Because sometimes you want three broomsticks.
Being brought to tears by an unflattering photo, and feeling a fiery mix of self-hatred and
rage-filled feminist revolution.
Being compared to a Cathy cartoon on Metafilter.
Being forced to buy all fan gear in Pink because it's the color of your vagina.
Being in a nice restaurant and knowing, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there's definitely
food in your bra.
Being ok with a dude being a rapist if he's, like, really good at throwing a ball.
Being polite about Lean In at the office.
Being single in winter and not shaving your legs for months.
Being soulfully serenaded collectively and individually by The Roots.
Being the only woman at the office-mandated sexual harassment training.
Being unbelievably attracted to Michael Fassbender even when he's evil to his core.
Beyonceé think pieces.
Beyonceé watching the halftime show on her $40,000 couch just laughing like yeah, sure,
whatever.
Blue Ivy's weave.
Boby Flay chipping his tooth on a ball gag.
Breaking up with your fianceé via a fabulous Sondheim patter song.
Breathing a sigh of relief that you didn't send the EXTREMELY dramatic email you drunkenly
composed last night.
Buying a fuckton of hammers and telling that goddamn glass ceiling to get ready for one more
round.
Buying condoms in your hometown.
Calculating the WeightWatchers Points Plus™ in a heaping serving of Donald Rumsfeld's
spooge.
Calmly informing your date that you understand the infield fly rule better than he does.
Casually reminding your boss that a majority of Americans voted for a woman the next time
you negotiate a raise.
Celebrating Cinco de Mayo by punching a white guy in a sombrero.
Celebrating Cinco de Mayo by shoving every Trump voter's face into a bowl full of margarita
until they feel the terror Trump imposes on immigrants every day.
Celebrating equal pay day by making the same amount of moeny as a man who does the same
job as you. LOL, just kidding, you can't have that.
Checking "Other: Lesbianism" on the birth control survey at your gynecologist's office.
Chin hairs you pretend you don't have.
Chipping in $1 to elect our first woman president instead of Donald Trump.
Chokes on the ashes of Gloria Steinam's bras.
Chopping your hair off and dying it purple, because honestly, fuck the male gaze.
CJ Cregg laying the smack down on a misogynist fucker then taking you out for mimosas.
Compiling all the money we spend on hair removal products to feed all the hungry children
forever.
Complaining about how much easier dating probably is in cities other than the one where you
live.
Condi and Hillary throwing a power pantsuit fashion show to raise money to help journalists
who can't think of better questions to ask women politicians.
Congratulating CBS on having the bravery and audacity to pick a white man to host a late
night show.
Convincing 2 straight guys to make out at a party to impress their girlfriends.
Cooper Manning's burn book.
Cramming Valdimir Putin full of Activia® until he poops out Russia's homophobia.
Crossing your fingers and hoping the all-male writing staff of Games of Thrones will handle
sexual assault tactfully this week maybe?
Crying in the fitting room during bikini season.
Daenerys Targaryen, Arya Stark, and Cersei Lannister combining forces to take down
misogyny forever.
Daenerys Targaryen's fire-breathing vajayjay.
Deciding that Lupita Nyong'o is the Cinderella you hope your daughter will grow up to be.
Declaring that you will abstain from checking OkCupid or Tinder for 24 hours on Valentine's
day, but then getting drunk and sad and signing in with much lower standards.
Deliberately not shaving your legs to keep yourself from hooking up on an early date.
Demanding that all of your tax dollars pay for Sesame Street and Meals on Wheels instead of a
fucking ridiculous border wall.
Depriving white men of the right to vote for 150 years and just seeing what happens.
Diane Keaton wearing a suit better than any man ever could.
Discovering orgasms at a prettttty young age courtesy of a jacuzzi/hot tub/pool jet.
Doing your kegels at work.
Donating your breast milk for vegan consumption.
Doubling up on sports bras.
Douches that smell like rain.
Dumbledore's rarely seen club robes.
Dumpsters overflowing with whimsical save-the-date magnets.
Dying your hair red like Angela Chase.
Eating the entire bag.
Emma Goldman burning the whole motherfucker down.
Emma Watson, Emma Stone, EMMA THOMPSON, BITCHES.
Engagement photos on train tracks.

Expensive vibrators shaped like twee woodland creatures.
Experimenting with Stacey McGill and Claudia Kishi while the kids sleep in the other room.
Explaining to a man that your bisexuality does not exist for his titillation.
Expressing the anal glands of Oprah's chow chows.
Falling down an internet hole searching for the perfect bra until your eyes well with tears and
you buy nothing.
Feeling alike
little
it'sbit
oksmug about
to force yourGwyneth Paltrow's
friends to divorce.
buy dresses they hate because you're getting
married.
Feeling microaggressive when people won't stop using the word microaggression.
Feeling nauseous and thinking, "Oh, great. Is this going to cost me $400?"
Feeling pretty good about how many of Shakespeare's plays pass the Bechdel Test.
Feeling slightly like you are fighting the system when you use the men's restroom at a bar
rather than standing in line for the ladies' room.
Female genital mutilation.
Finally being included in an NFL commercial as a "football fan" instead of "football fan's
clueless girlfriend."
Finger banging Michelle Rodriguez.
Flicking the bean to Adam Levine's Proactiv® commercial.
Forcefeeding Sheryl Sandberg the pages of Lean In, one by one.
Forcing Bernie Sanders to have an ultrasound before he endorses a candidate who would
force women to have ultasounds.
Forcing your lover to call you "moon of my life."
Gabby Giffords' physical therapy.
Gently teaching the Trump administration the difference between Holocaust remembrance
and Holocaust reenactment.
Getting a little turned on by the liquid silk voices of the ladies of NPR.
Getting a new match notification on Tinder, and not having any idea what you were thinking
when you swiped right.
Getting an unusually heavy period at the end of October and thanking your vagina for
exemplifying the true spirit of Halloween
Getting angry at your crush because of something mean he said during an imaginary
conversation.
Getting DPed by the Property Brothers on a custom granite countertop.
Getting drunk and texting someone you don't really like because it's better than texting no one
at all.
Getting home from a workout, and realizing your pubes were sticking out of your short shorts
the whole time.
Getting in the football mood by spiking your used tampons into the trash, and celebrating
afterwards.
Getting irrationally angry when you don't think a Facebook status deserve that many likes.
Getting topped by Professor Grubbly-Plank.
Getting trashed
weepy drunkwith Merrick Garlandand
in the daytime, andposting
egging quotes
the shitfrom
out of Mitch Got
"You've McConnell's car.
Mail" on the
internet.
Giving ScarJo's boobs a (consensual) lil' squeezy-squeezy on the red carpet.
Giving up on the game to make out with big Tim Riggins.
Going on a mediocre date, then a terrible date, then fooling yourself into thinking the
mediocre date was better than it was.
Going out to buy super healthy organic groceries then coming home and ordering take-out.
Guys who can't get it together to set a date, but still find time to like your shit on Facebook.
Guys who take off their wedding rings before they flirt with you in a bar.
Hagrid and Madame Maxime roleplay.
Having big boobs and wearing horizontal stripes anyway because FUCK IT.
Having unprotected sex to honor the anniversary of Roe v. Wade.
Hermione telling you she'd never hurt Ron; it's just that you're so beautiful and she's so
confused.
High-fiving Sandra Bullock after the best drunk duet of "Oops! I did it again" in the history of
karaoke.
High-fiving Shonda Rhimes while dancing on the graves of every boss who never bothered to
hire a woman or person of color.
Hillary bitchslapping Bill with a frozen tuna.
Hillary Clinton's White House portrait coming to life and haunting the shit out of any human
who dares to disrespect it.
Hiring Buffy Summers to roundhouse kick the woman in your office who doesn't support
other women.
Holding hands with Ellen Page at the best Tegan & Sara concert ever.
Holding your boobs as you go up and down stairs.
Hoping maybe he didn't call because he died.
Idris Elba whisking you off for a weekend on the Riviera.
Inspirational Dove chocolate wrappers.
It gets better(ish).
JLaw creeping Taylor Swift ADORABLY.
Joaquin Phoenix as George Michael Bluth and Scarlett Johannson as Ann Veal in the new
Arrested Development movie, "HER?"
Kate McKInnon gently stroking your hair while you just cry it all out.
Khaleesi bringing her dragons to a board meeting like, "sorry, couldn't get a daycare!"
Kim Kardashian's placenta banh mi.
Kneeing him right in the man business when the fantasy suite turns into a nightmare.
Lactating when a stranger's baby cries on the train.
Leonardo DiCaprio sitting on the sidewalk smoking with "Talkshow Host" playing in the
background.
LESLIE KNOPE AND MICHELLE OBAMA HUGGING AND DANCING AND BRINGING JOYFUL
FEMINISM TO ALL THE LAND.
LESLIE KNOPE FOR PRESIDENT.
Liberateé . EÉ galiteé . Beyonceé .
Lining up all the lip glosses you've ever lost until they wrap around the world.
Living with the fact that you're a white person who regularly downloads songs from "Glee."
Locking all the mansplainers in a windowless room with Bellatrix Lestrange.
Magic ovaries that shoot down rape sperm with lasers.
Making "voted to take away women's healthcare" a pre-existing condition.
Making 77 cents on the dollar (unless you're Latina).
Making Firefox your preferred browser for gay porn.
Making him jealous with Viktor Krum.
Making it obnoxiously clear to your friends that you'll be watching the Puppy Bowl instead of
the Super Bowl this year.
Making out with an openly gay Eagle Scout "to help him make sure."
Making your breasts Lorelei and Rory.
Malala's gunshot wounds.
Mansplaining.
Marching into the Oval Office to tell Trump that it does *not* say RSVP on the Statue of
Liberty.
Masturbating to Ty Pennington.
Meredith Grey's slut phase.
Meryl Streep selfies.
MICHELLE DUNKING LEBRON, BITCHES.
Michelle Kwan gliding across the ice like a majestic goddamn swan.
Misandry.
Mother. Fucking. Thigh gap.
Needing to pee before your nail polish dries.
Not having any damn idea if you're flirting or networking.
Not having the heart to tell him it really doesn't happen to everyone.
Objectifying women "for charity."
Oil wrestling with all three Manning brothers. Yeah, there are three.
Only shaving up to the knee.
Patti Stanger's line of jewelry.
Peggy Olson's cutthroat ambitions.
Perversely cheering for a team your partner hates, just for funsies.
Pitching "The Deathstick" to Good Vibrations.
Pointing out to people who claim to hate abortion that they *might* want to consider
supporting access to contraception.
Polishing off another bottle of Bordeaux with Olivia Pope and Alicia Florrick.
Politely asking Juan Pablo to stop ruining Juan-uary.
Pre-ordering a new Hitachi Magic Wand just in time for Galentine's Day.
President Obama stealing the nuclear codes and sprinting across the White House lawn to an
undisclosed location.
Pretending someone else is home when the delivery guy shows up with your extra large pizza.
Pretending you don't fantasize about taking Tim Tebow's virginity.
Pretending you'll wear that bridesmaid dress again.
Princess Aurora maniacally devouring the still-beating heart of Maleficent.
Proclaiming the wine "undrinkable" immediately before drinking it.
Proudly carrying your tampon to the bathroom in full view of everyone because THE JIG IS UP,
A LOT OF US HAVE PERIODS.
Putting on skinny jeans straight out of the dryer and wanting to commit genocide.
Queefing in the faces of Oscars voters until they're forced to recognize the achievements of
women and people of color.
Raising a champagne toast to Belle Knox, the badass Duke porn actress.
Realizing halfway through a great date that you forgot to tweeze those nipple hairs.
Realizing you're not having lesbian sex anytime soon after you get one of those chunky glitter
manis.
Realizing your awkward sitting position on the floor made your vag lips lose all sensation.
Reimagining your life as gluten free when you find out the hot 23-year-old at the office has
Celiac.
Rejecting a guy who might be your future husband on Tinder because his face just makes you
angry.
Reminding yourself not to start a conversation about your to-do list after your mind wanders
during sex.
Reneé e Fleming bringing linebackers to tears.
Resentfully clicking like on your boss' vacation photos.
Rosa Parks' back seat.
Roses are red, this is the season to impeach Donald Trump for mother fucking treason.
Roses are red, violets are blue, women deserve equal pay for equal work.
Running your fingers through Jon Stewart's lustrous salt-and-pepper hair until you've
regained a sense of calm.
Ryan Gosling's taint.
Scalding hot wax right there on your labia.
Screaming in terror at the giant bug in your shower before you realize it's a hairball.
Sending all the men who dressed up as handmaids for Halloween to a reeducation center in
Gilead
Seven carpets that match the drapes.
Seven minutes in heaven with Erick Decker.
Sexual fantasies involving Mindy Lahiri and a sumptuous coffeecake.
Shameful childhood memories of envying the wheelchair girl who got all the attention.
Shouting "NOT OKAY! TOO SOON! DON'T DO IT!" when Fred Savage plays a perp on SVU.
Sipping champagne and trying on dresses made by designers of color with Kerry Washington
and Michelle Obama.
Sirius holding his hand over your mouth so you don't wake his mother's portrait.
Smiling and pretending the sexism in your industry doesn't exist because you'd like to
get/keep a job.
Sorting your friends – even the ones you think belong in Hufflepuff.
Stalking wedding photos on Facebook, weeping softly.
Staph infections from dirty nail salons.
Starting a one-woman glitter road trip across America to make sure every last trans kid
knows they're perfect exactly the way they are.
Stealing a male relative's Playboy and feeling brand new feelings.
STOP MAKING ME PRETEND TO CARE ABOUT YOUR WEDDING PINTEREST, DARLA.
Stubbornly refusing to put a tampon in because your period should have ended two days ago.
Stuffing Jim Comey and every treasonous Trump flack inside Vladimir Putin's asshole like
hideous Russian nesting dolls.
Stumbling on David Wright performing Judy Garland in the East Village.
Subjecting handsy finance bro to the withering gaze of the Dowager Countess.
Surprising your partner with a Vladimir Putin shaped butt plug.
Swish and flick.
Taking a giant dump on the 18th green at the Augusta National Golf Club.
Taking a hard look at the state of reproductive rights in America and renewing your
commitment to lesbianism.
Taking your vegan girlfriend to shuck some soysters.
Talking sexy social justice with Maya Angelou until your caged bird sings.
Taylor Swift's sloppy seconds.
Telling a street harasser, "You know what? I *will* blow you."
Telling Jamie Lannister you don't care which hand he uses.
Telling Pacey your innermost secrets in a canoe beneath the Capeside stars.
Telling the thousandth guy for the thousandth time that all he needs to do is expend one tiny
modicum of effort.
Telling your date you're only paying 77 cents on the dollar when he asks to split the check.
Tenderly dominating Uncle Jesse from behind.
Texting your blind date's address to all your friends for safety.
Tfw when your Tinder date starts spouting anti-immigrant nonsense and you realize you're at
Applebee's with a white supremacist.
Thanking whatever nice man decided women deserve one month per year to learn about our
history.
That dangerous, terrifying moment when you realize you've memorized your credit card.
That delicious grin that spreads across your lips right before you cock-punch that guy who
just told you to smile.
That moment when the wind flows through your vag hair.
That time Cate Blanchett schooled Hallywood about how films starring women *do* make
money.
That time the president said, "Women deserve equal pay for equal work," and half the room
disagreed.
The ball gags Trump apparently bought Pence and Ryan as Inauguration gifts.
The Bechdel Test.
The blue liquid from tampon commercials.
The chills you still get down your spine when you remember the night Barack Hussein Obama
became our president.
The chub rub.
The cold, hard truth that no lesbian has ever scissored.
The dawning realization that this is your life and this is what you're doing with it.
The disconcertingly placed hotel room mirror that allows you to finally know how your face
looks whentoyou
The effort poop.your facial expression when your friend tells you what she named her
control
baby.
The fallacious mythological running bra that actually stops the bouncing.
The fallopian tube-related elevation sickness that forces lady sports reporters to stay on the
field and out of the booth.
The floaty feeling you legs get when you shave them after a long time.
The G-Spot, the Y-Spot, the other spot you made up to confuse your partner.
The gigantic portion of fried food you consume to celebrate the end of wedding season.
The Golden Girls' never-ending supply of frozen cheesecake.
The grim, completely unsurprised facial expressions of black women being kicked off "The
Bachelor."
The guy in your gender studies class who's "just playing devil's advocate."
The Gyllenhaals: giving incest a thumbs up this one time.
The holiday greeting card heteronormative parade.
The limit does not exist!
The look on your boyfriend's face when he said, "anal is no big deal," so you pulled out a strap-
on.
The massively hot lesbian orgy we assume took place after women leaders were forced to
march separately in the 1963 March on Washington.
The mental jujitsu required to be a Republican and a woman at the same time.
The moving romance of a holiday where men are expected to reinforce structurally sexist
gender norms by buying things.
The nauseating fact that many NFL cheerleaders make less than $1000 per year.
The new Georgia O'Keefe biopic, "Yeah, that's not a flower."
The new Special K diet: eating the box.
The newest weapon in the global war on povery: Connie Britton's hair.
The pleasurable feeling you get pulling stray hair out of your butt crack while you shower.
The race to beat your vibrator's dying batteries to the finish line.
The raging hellfire your best friend Veronica Mars will rain down on anyone who betrays you.
The realization that there's no polite way to ask if he's inside you.
The saddest, loneliest handjob in all the world.
The self-esteem murdering combination of constipation and skinny jeans.
The shocking revelation that all Super Bowl car commercials are shot in Saudia Arabia, which
is why no women are allowed to drive.
The simmering rage when some friend of a friend you've never met mansplains you on
Facebook.
The temptation to jump the curb, and mow down random men who tell you how to parallel
park.
The terror when you glimpse those tiny droplets of pee glistening on the public toilet seat.
The torture chamber where Kathryn Bigelow keeps James Cameron.
The ultimate reality show twist where Tim Gunn uses his save to get us one more election.
The underwear sniff test.
The unknowable shame of having masturbated to The L-Word.
The unmitigated horror of having to pee in the club while wearing a jumpsuit.
The unparalleled bliss of taking the bra off and letting the girls fly free.
The unparalleled shade game of former White House photographer Pete Souza.
The white-hot blazing inferno fueled entirely by Pnina Tornai stunners.
The Williams sisters patrolling the night exacting brutal, unrelenting justice.
Throwing every person
yourself who's ever
an abortion assumed
shower you were pregnant
and registering intoand
for whiskey a pit filled with hot acid.
a well-earned
vacation.
Thwacking a men's rights activist with Lady Gaga's shoe.
Tina Fey and Amy Poehler making out on a pile of Bitch magazines.
Tom Colicchio whipping up a delectable midnight snack while you lean against the counter
wearing one of his button downs.
Treating yourself to an 8-year IUD for International Women's Day.
Trying to figure out which Weasley twin prefers anal play.
Turning the tables on Katie Couric about her genitals midinterview.
Tweeting Cory Booker about that guy walking behind you.
Unbelievably hot dreams about your ex because YOUR SUBCONSCIOUS IS AN ASSHOLE.
Underboob sweat like rancid milk.
Unfriending that one girl who wont stop vomiting her wedding planning on your Facebook.
Unnecessarily gendered teas.
Unsolicited information about your boyfriend's sperm count.
Urinating on yourself to prevent an assault.
Using a Super Bowl bet to get your partner to try that kinky sex thing they've been putting off.
Using April
Velvety roseFools
petalsaselaborately
a barometer to figuretoout
arranged which
spell of your"I'm
the words, friends are actually
breaking up with funny.
you,
asshole."
Waking up in Harry's four poster bed.
Walking out of West Elm with another fucking throw pillow.
Watching a more qualified woman of color get passed over for some white guy on national
television.
Watching Bethenny Frankel struggle for life in a churning sea of pre-mixed SkinnyGirl®
cocktails.
Watching Eli Manning's face light up as you hand him the world's most adorable puppy.
Wearing yoga clothes to not do yoga.
When "small and scrappy" just doesn't cut it.
When a dog smells your crotch, and you know exactly why.
When a FOX News anchor casually references 'ebonics'.
When a guy says, "70% of women are crazy," and you want to find a way to cut his face off
without reinforcing the stereotype.
When a guy's like, "ugh, are you on your period?" and you totally are, BUT THAT'S NOT WHY
YOU'RE ANGRY.
When a male colleague tries to take credit for your idea and you shout, "NOBODY PUTS BABY
IN A CORNER!"
When RuPaul throws ultimate shade, and Alec Baldwin pees himself and faints into a bowl of
soup.
When someone thoughtfully points out that an article of clothing makes you look bigger, like
that is the single worst thing that could ever happen to a person.
When the tampon's too low, and you feel it with every step.
When there are only two squares of toilet paper left and you know there's about to be a little
bit of pee on your hand.
When you wear a too-short skirt on public transportation and your vagina is basically
touching the bus seat.
When your boyfriend competes with Leslie Knope to be the best gift-giver ever, and convinces
Ladies Against Humanity to post your very own birthday card.
When your one night stand finishes with, "OMAHA!"
When your partner goes down on you until you turn into Moaning Myrtle.
Wondering how best to vent about Obamacare without seeming like you don't support it.
Wondering if Ariel chums the water every time she gets her period.
Wondering whether your girl crush on Hermione constitutes pedophilia.
Yearning to use Adam Scott's fluffy, gravity-defying mane as a full body shower loofah.
Your gigantic crush on Jenna Lyons.
Zach Braff and k.d. lang trading hair tips.
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Special Set
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Cards Against Coachella
http://www.whowhatwear.com/cards-against-humanity-coachella-expansion-pack-funny-game-2014
A Coachella themed set created by WhoWhatWear.com.
_________ happened at Coachella and you were too busy _________ to notice.
_________ was found in the porta potties next to the Sahara tent.
_________: The real secret to getting your outfit photographed by a street style photog.
_________: the trend that went to Coachella to die.
_________: this year's surprise musical act.
Big Boi freestyle rapping about the healing benefits of _________.
Coachella has prohibited _________ from festival grounds, citing safety concerns.
Declaring _________ your desert spirit animal.
I'm never going to Coachella again because _________.

I'm sorry, Mrs. Jackson. __________ isn't what it looks like.
Lorde's set was completely ruined by _________.

OMG, did you see _________'s set?
Playing spot the _________, just for funsies.

Step 1: _________.
Step 2: _________.
Step 3: A gang of adoring groupies.
What did you bring back from Coachella?
What did you find at the bottom of your fanny pack?
What will always bring the boys to the yard?
What's that sound?
You know it's time to call it a night when you see _________.
A hologram of North West rapping.
A literal hot mess.

A sweet straw fedora.
A wild pack of shirtless bros.
An ironic flower crown.
Being weirdly proud of your <strikethrough>blisters</strikethrough> battle wounds.
Campground smells.
Choosing your outfit based on tan lines.

Coachella jail.
Complaining about how mainstream Coachella is.
Denim diaper + Converse.
Fake tanner smell.
Feeling human feelings toward a hologram.
Fist pumping with purpose.
Florence Welch's cape.
Forgetting to make a meeting spot.
Getting tangled up in all that fringe.
Gladiator sandals.
Hatching a diabolical plan to sneak into the VIP section.
Hearing the Sahara tent from... every other tent.

Ho-chella.
Interpretive dancing.
Jared Leto's hair.

Judging people's outfits.
Lana Del Rey at 65.
Lollipops.
Losing your friends. Again.
Lucite heels.
Making deep, erotic eye contact with Beck.
Murky pool water.
Native American headdress.
Not being on the list.
One million girls in neon jorts.
Personal space.
Pharrell's hat.
Pretending to know the band that cute guy was talking about.
Romper shame.
Searching... searching... for cell phone reception.
Sexy Pocahontas costume.
Shaving your head like Skrillex.
Sunscreen bottle or flask?
Swamp butt.
That guy from <I>True Blood</I>.
The "hip" couples that brings their baby.
The gassy person standing in front of you.
The inevitable post-Coachella life evaluation.
The seventh circle of hell aka: porta-potty row.
The Underpants Railroad.
Tribal headbands.
Vanessa Hudgens in her element.
Vegan hotdogs.
Wondering if face paint will clog your pores.
Wristband envy.
Cards Against Humanity: Los Angeles Edition
http://www.laweekly.com/arts/cards-against-humanity-los-angeles-edition-4607692
A Los Angeles themed set created by the L.A. Weekly.
_________ is the happiest place on earth.

_________ is the Laker's lucky charm.
_________ Memorial Highway.
_________ never crosses the 405 because of _________.
_________ Snapchatted me a picture of _________.

_________ walks in L.A.
_________, 90210.
_________, that's where I want to be.
2-Hr parking, 7 AM to 7 PM, Mon-Sat, _________ Exempt.
After the big one, only _________ will be left.
All right, Mr. DeMille, I'm ready for my _________.
American Apparel models have that look on their face because of _________.
At the Hammer Museum I saw a sculpture of _________.
Can't _________ all just get along.

Dear Mexican, Why do Mexicans like _________?
During the L.A. Riots, I was _________.
Echo Park is the new _________.
For Carmageddon, I'm going to _________.

Forget It, Jake, it's _________.
Getting stuck on Beverly Glen in rush hour is worse than _________.

Hinoki and the _________.
Hooray for _________!
How do you know so much about Marina del Rey?

I always blame my red light camera ticket on _________.
I can never find the entrance to _________.

I don't know Korean so I ordered #26. It turns out that's _________.
I drove all the way to _________.
I gave _________ to _________ in return for their Westside Rentals password.

I got _________ at the Rose Bowl Flea Market for only a dollar. Can you believe it?
I have to stay out of the sun or I turn into __________.
I heard they found _________ in Echo Park Lake.
I missed my audition because of _________.
I saw _________ eating _________ at _________.

I saw _________ in Runyon Canyon and never went back.
I saw a Kardashian with _________.

I told my dealer to meet me at the corner of _________ and _________.
I waited in line for an hour and a half to taste _________.

I went to the Varnish and asked them to make me a _________.
I would make love to L.A. because of _________.
I'm trying out for a reality show about _________.

If L.A. had an NFL team, it would be called _________.
If the _________ fits, you must acquit.
If you want to lose that last 5 pounds, try _________.
It's a good day in L.A. when I don't have to use _________.
It's impossible to park at _________.
James Franco's latest project combines _________ and _________.
L.A. Dance Project's next performance is inspired by _________.

L.A.'s hottest club is _________, located in _________ and featuring _________.
Looks like we're gonna have to make a cameo at the _________ party.
My agent keeps calling me about _________.
My documentary about _________ almost made it into Sundance.
My favorite food truck serves _________ in the style of _________.
My favorite kind of medical marijuana is _________.

My first time at Jumbo's Clown Room I saw _________.
My Silicon Beach startup is creating the definitive app for _________.
No day trip to Malibu is complete without _________.
No Parking, 9 AM to 11 AM Wednesdays, _________ Cleaning.
Playa del _________.
Scientologosts believe that _________ came to Earth 75 million years ago in _________.
Siri, what is _________.

Step to the front of the mat and descend into _________.
Straight outta _________, crazy motherfucker named _________.
Street cleaning, Tuesdays and Thursdays, 10 AM to Noon, No parking, 10 PM to 2 AM, _________ Exempt.
Sure, I'm an assistant now, but soon enough I'll be _________.
Take the 405 to the 101 to the 134 to _________.
The best amenity at my downtown loft is _________.
The best costime in the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival was _________.
The best driving advice in L.A. is, "Always take _________."

The best place in L.A. to have sex is _________.
The best shortcut from _________ to _________ is _________.
The best trick at the Magic Castle is when they pull _________ out of _________.
The Eastside starts at _________.
The Indie Spirit Award for _________ goes to _________.
The Jurassic Museum of Technology has an exhibit on _________.
The new hip thing is __________.
The new In-N-Out Burger secret menu item is _________.
The secret ingredient to Animal Style at In-N-Out Burger is _________.
The secret to Joan Rivers' longevity is _________.
The valet crashed my car into _________.
The word is at L.A. County Jail you can trade 200 cigarettes for _________.
There's a prop house where you can actually rent a _________.
Umami is the sixth taste. It's hard to describe but it tastes kind of like _________.
Venice residents only leave the area for _________.
Watch out for _________ on Hollywood Boulevard.
What makes Sammy run?
What's in season at the farmers market?
What's that smell in El Segundo?
When Obama comes to town, _________ goes to shit.
When you meet a coyote, use _________ to scare it off.
Who needs to see a Broadway show when we have _________?
$20 parking in Hollywood.

2005 Nobel Prize winner for Chemistry Robert H. Grubbs.
70 degrees and sunny.
A $60 parking ticket?!
A 10-cent olive at Philippe's.
A baä co.
A bag for 10 cents.
A bouncy castle in Griffith Park.
A BPA-free water bottle.
A casting breakdown.
A colonic.
A cougar in the Hollywood Hills.
A decent bagel.
A food place that's like Joan's on Third but not Joan's on Thrid.
A little old lady from Pasadena.
A magazine full of celebrity babies.
A multihyphenate.
A pastrami sandwich at the Oinkster.
A pink chair in Grand Park.
A real Beverly Hills cop.
A rented surfboard.
A residual check for less than $1.
A seagull with a bag of chips.
A taping of "Real Time With Bill Maher."
A three-salad combo.
A transgender club.
A virgin at a porn shoot.
A Wolfgang Puck frozen pizza.
Açaíé bowl.
Agents who are bad at lying.
All the blow-dry bars in Santa Monica.
All those quinceanñ era dresses.
Always take Fountain.
An asymmetric Botox job.
Angels Flight.
Animal-style.
Arnold Schwarzenegger biking down the Venice Boardwalk.
Avenue of the Stars.
Avocados.
Backyard beekeeping.
Ballona Creek.
Baé nh míà.
Barbie's Malibu Dream House.
Bathing in the Venice canals.
Baywatch.
Being seen at the Ivy.
Bike Valet.
Bill and Ted.
Bob's Big Boy.
Boba.
Bradbury Building.
Brian Grazer's cultural attacheé .
Bunker Hill.
Burrata.
Cal State Long Beach.
Cal State Northridge.
California Mart sample sales.
California State Lottery.
Calling Chateau Marmont just "Chateau."
Canter's Deli.
Car envy.
Cardinal Mahony.
Cast-and-crew screening.
Cathedral of Our Lady of Angels.
CBS Television City.

Cedars-Sinai.
Celebrity sightings at Gelson's.
Cesar Chavez.
Cher Horowitz.
Chiat/Day.
Chinatown.
Christopher Dorner.
Chunks of dead aspiring screenwriter.
CicLAvia.
Cinco de Mayo.
Clifton's Cafeteria's "no one's turned away hungry" policy.

Commercial auditions.
Complaining about traffic.
Compton.
Courtney Stodden.
Craft services.
Crossroads of the World.
Dancing in the stands at a sitcom taping.
Descanso Gardens.
Dia de los Muertos.
Diarrhea from my trip to Mexico.
Diddy Riese cookies.
Dole Food Company.
Drought.
DUI checkpoints.
E-cigarettes.
Earthquake insurance.
Eli Broad.
Ellen's haircut.
Evelyn the Gorilla, escape artist.
Every unsold screenplay laid end to end.
Extras.
F. Scott Fitzgerald's failed Hollywood career.
Father's Office.
Felix the Cat sign.
First Fridays on Abbot Kinney.
Flying out of Burbank.
Frederick's of Hollywood.
Fro-yo.
Garfunkel & Oates.
Gene Autry Museum.
Getting into work at the early hour of 10 a.m.
Getting over seeing the Hollywood Sign.
GLOW.
Good Food with Evan Kleinman.
Grave robbing at the Hollywood Forever Cemetery.
Groundworkd coffee.
Hairless-chest envy.
Hanging ten.
Hipster flipping.
Hit-and-run.
Hollingsworth vs. Perry, which brought back same-sex marriage.
Hollywood's Theater Row.
Horchata.
Hot yoga.
House of Pies.
Howard Hughes.
Huntington Library and Gardens.
I Am Grateful.
I love Tito's Tacos!
I'm a big fan.
Jack Nicholson's sunglasses.
Jackie Treehorn's house.
James Cameron's ego.
Jennifer Grey's old nose.
Jenny McCarthy's unvaccinated children.
Jet Propulsion Laboratory.
Joan Didion.
Jon Hamm's bulge.
Juice cleanse.
Justin Bieber's arrest record.
Kabbalah.
Kale.
Kareem Abdul-Jabbar's goggles.
KCET.
Kevin and Bean.
Keyes, Keyes, Keyes. Keyes on Van Nuys.
Kimye.
Kobe Bryant's show size.
Kombucha on tap.
L.A. Athletic Club.
L.A. city taxes.
L.A. Fashion Week?
L.A. Memorial Coliseum.
L.A. Pride parade.
La La Land.
Larry Flynt's legacy.
Light and Space art.
Lindsay Lohan's celebrity fuck list.
Living with my auntie and uncle in Bel-Air.
Living without an air conditioner.
Los Angeles Dodgeball Society.
Loyola Marymount.
Lucky Strike bowling alley.
MacArthur Park.
Madeline Brand.
Magic Johnson's movie theater.
Malibu wine tasting.
Mandatory condom use.
Manny Pacquiao.
Marilyn Monroe's grave.
Marty and Elayne.
Mattel.
Mayor Villaraigosa's second-to-last ex-girlfriend.
Meatball, the Glendale bear.
Mel Gibson's breathalyzer score.
Mel's Drive-In.
Mexican Coke.
Michael Connelly.
Michael Jackson's doctor.
Midnight Ridazz.
Mildred Pierce.
Miley Cyrus getting off the plane at LAX.
MOCA hating.
Morning Becomes Eclectic.
Mr. Mojo Risin'.
Murmurs of recognition when you spot a celebrity.
Muscle beach.
My agent's assistant.
My allergy to pretentious douchebags.
My California state senator.
My celebrity free pass.
My closet that's a soundproofed recording studio.
My connection to Harvey Weinstein.
My favorite dominatrix dungeon.
My gender-bending Banana Republic salesperson.
My independent documentary film.
My manager's commission.
My medical marijuana card.
My podcast.
My SAG card.
My TAP card.
My time as a P.A.
Nail art.
Naked yoga.
Name-dropping.
New York.
Nikki Finke.
No traffic on a Jewish holiday.
NoHo Arts District.
Obamajam.
Occidental College.
Occupy L.A.
Olvera Street.
Our "majority minority" city.
Out of the Closet.
Panda Express.
Pann's Coffee Shop.
Park La Brea.
Parking spot boner.
Pauly Shore.
PCH.
Pepperdine.
Petersen Automotive Museum.
Phil Spector.
Picking up a guy at the Abbey.
Pilates studios.
Pilot season.
Pizzaria Mozza.
POM.
Porn stars.
Portia de Rossi's vegan show line.
Posting an awkward comment on Deadline.
Promises rehab in Malibu.
Public fruit map.
Putting "the" in front of freeway numbers.
RAND.
Randy's Donuts.
Raymond Chandler.
Really? Popcorn?
Renee Zellweger's upper arms.
Reserved seats at the movie theater.
Richard Riordan.
Richard Simmons' dance class.
Rick Caruso.
Riding bareback in Burbank.
Riding the carousel on the Santa Monica Pier.
Rita Hayworth's foorprints outside the Chinese Theatre.
Road rage.
Roadkill possums.
Robert Blake.
Rodarte.
Rodeo Drive.
Rodney King.
Ronald Reagan.
Runaway film production.
Ryan Seacrest's hair.
S&M clubs.
Santa Monica Airport.
Saturday 2 a.m. rush hour.
School of Rock.
Scoring stage.
Screenwriters in coffee shops.
Seven Grand.
Sheriff Lee Baca.
Silver Lake moms.
Sing-Along "Sound of Music."
Singing "Livin' on a Prayer" at a Koreatown karaoke bar.
Sitting at communal tables and not talking to anyone new.
Six degrees of Kevin Bacon.
Size 14 platform heels.
Smog.
Smoothies! Smoothies! Smoothies!
SoCal Edison.
Soho House.
Someone who knows someone.
Soup dumplings.
South Bay pride.
South of the Boulecard snobbery.
Southland.
Soy milk.
Space Shuttle Endeavor.
Splooge from the hot tub rental place near Swingers.
Spotting Bennifer at the Pacific Palisades farmers market.
Sriracha.
St. Monica's church.
Steven Spielberg's synagogue.
Subway to the sea.
Sunroof tanning.
Sunset Junction.
Suprisingly good art in the subways.
Surfas Restaurant Supply.
Suri Cruise.
Sweaty Sundays.
Taking a piss on a Shepard Fairey mural.
Taking tofu from a vegan.
Tandem parking.
Termites.
Texting and driving.
Thai Elvis.
That bocce ball couse I always pass.
That guy painted silver on the Third Street Promenade.
That invisible no-parking sign.
That JPL guy with a mohawk.
That Koreatown bar that looks like a boat.
That Pepsi commercial I was in once.
That pre-theater opera-singing handpuppet.
That wind farm between here and Palm Springs.
The "Die Hard" building.
The 1932 Summer Olympics.
The 1984 Olympics.
The 5.
The 818.
The Ambassador Hotel.
The annoying Kardashian.
The Aquarium of the Pacific.
The ArcLight on a Saturday night.
The Bar Method.
The Bart Simpson topiary outside "The Simpsons" writers room.
The Bazaar's deconstructed Philly Cheesesteak.
The Beach Boys.
The best pizza topping at 800 Degrees.
The Big Blue Bus.
The Big One.
The Big Orange.
The Black Dahlia.
The Bloods.
The blowjob that got me backstage.
The Boystown Starbucks.
The Broad Museum.
The CAA Death Star.
The California Bar Exam.
The Californians.
The Caltech Beavers.
The Capitol Records building.
The car Biggie Smalls was murdered in.
The cash-only cashier booth at the Original Pantry.
The Chandler family.
The city I live in, the city of Angels.
The Claremont Colleges.
The Clippers.
The cloying preciousness of the Brentwood Country Mart.
The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf's kosher parties.
The cooler taking up a whole seat at the Hollywood Bowl.
The Crips.
The Day of the Locust.
The demise of TomKat.
The Derby Dolls.
The downtown trolley car.
The drive of shame.
The ducks who live on the Fox lot.
The Edison.
The Egyptian Theatre.
The eternal line at Pink's Hot Dogs.
The Expo line.
The fictional Menchie's / Yogurtland rivalry.
The five-hour drive to Vegas.
The Forum.
The Fucking 405.
The gang capital of America.
The Getty Center tram.
The ghost of John Belushi.
The girl in the box at the Standard Hotel.
The good people of the world washing their cars.
The Greek Theatre.
The Grim Sleeper.
The Grove Trolley conductor.
The guy who Newsweek says invented bitcoin.
The Herald-Examiner.
The high-speed train to Vegas.
The Hillside Strangler.
The Hollywood Dream.
The Ice House.
The L.A. Galaxy.
The L.A. King's 2012 Stanley Cup season.
The L.A. Kiss arena football team.
The L.A. Marathon.
The L.A. Riots.
The L.A. River.
The L.A. Times buidling.
The last automobile factories shutting down in the 1990s.
The Last Bookstore.
The Long Goodbye.
The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim.
The marine layer.
The Menendez Brothers.
The Mormon Temple in Westwood.
The Munchkins at the Culver Hotel.
The Museum of Tolerance.
The mythical LAX train stop.
The Northridge earthquake.
The Original Farmers Market.
The Ovarian Psychos.
The pancakes at Du-par's.
The park from "500 Days of Summer."
The Pinkberry founder beating a homeless man.
The Post Office where Bukowski worked.
The Queen Mary.
The Rampart scandal.
The Reagan Library.
The real killer.
The Red Car.
The rentable-for-filming Johnie's Coffee Shop.
The road trip to Joshua Tree.
The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the NuArt.
The Rose Parade.
The sad baby elephant mourning his dying mother at the La Brea Tar Pits.
The Salton Sea.
The Santa Monica steps.
The shuttle bus to the Hollywood Bowl.
The Sprinkles Cupcake ATM.
The stolen awkward phases of celebrity teens.
The street lamps at LACMA.
The tightest miniskirt on Hollywood Boulevard.
The trash island.
The Ukulele Orchestra of the Western Hemisphere.
The USC/UCLA rivalry.
The Val Party.
The Varnish.
The Watts Riots.
The white cord wrapped around the L.A. Times.
The world's first hot smoothie.
The Zankou Chicken murders.
The zookeeper at the Playboy mansion.
Those name tags for "The Price Is Right."
Time Warner Cable.
Tinseltown.
Tiny balconies.
TMZ boobage.
Tom Bradley.
Tommy Lasorda.
Trying to park at the Beverly Center and giving up.
Tupac.
Tyler, the Creator.
Uber surge pricing.
UCLA Med School.
Upton Sinclair.
Urth Caffe,
USC Homecoming.
Venice Beach drum circle.
Vin Scully.
Vomit on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Warner Bros.' Studio Tour.
Warren Beatty and Annette Bening.
Water sommelier.
Watts Towers.
Wearing Rainbow sandals to work.
Wearing yoga pants anywhere.
WeHo gays.
WeHo's fur ban.
Westwood's decline.
Wherever the hell I put that goddamn umbrella a year ago.
Wherever the hell in this city the characters in "New Girl" live.
Whipping it out on the Sunset Strip.
Whoever started the fire in Malibu.
Wild Card Boxing Club.
Will Rogers Polo Club.
Winking at hostesses.
Yom Kippur services at the Laugh Factory.
Your building's no-pets policy.
Your friend's birthday party at Edendale.
Zev Yaroslavsky.
Zuma Beach.
Craps & Laughs - Core Set

http://www.crapsandlaughs.com/
Created by Redditor DespicableBastards.
Craps And Laughs™ is a vile take on a game style that people have loved for well over a century. A brown card with a que
one player to start the round. The other players select one of their yellow cards in an attempt to make the most despicab
possible.
This set started out as Crap Amidst Hilarity, and has gone through three unsuccessful Kickstarter campaigns. Currently a
downloadable PDF.
_________ makes the world go 'round!

_________. It's what's for dinner.
And Jesus said, "Trust in God; trust also in _________.
And that, my friend, is why she calls me the Master of _________.
And the USA wins the gold medal for _________!
As a practical joke, Obi-Wan replaced Luke's lightsaber with _________.
As Nixon said, "I am not _________!"
At last! A device that lets you charge your phone with the power of _________!
Blessed are the peacemakers; for they shall be called the children of _________.
Call me what you want, but before I die, I want to have sex with __________.
Does chocolate milk come from _________?
Drunk me is such an asshole! I woke up this morning to find _________ in the cookie jar with a note saying, "Hey, sober me
Dude, I'll give you $20 if you can eat _________!
Few people know that Jesus actually rode into Jerusalem on _________.
Few people know that the Rancor was really just _________.
Fuck autocorrect! I tried to ask my girlfriend to give me a call, and it changed it to give me __________!
Getting laid is easy. You just need to have _________ and _________. The just start _________!
Give me Liberty, or give me _________!
Have you seen the viral video of cats being scared by _________?
I could handle being alone on a deserted island as long as I had _________.
I don't know what the hell it is, but it has _________ for a head, the body of _________, and _________ for legs!
I don't like this reprint of the bible. Somebody replaced every instance of Jesus with _________!
I had a wonderful dream last night that I was sitting on a golden throne, surrounded by _________.
I knew the day was going to be bad when I made my coffee with _________ instead of water.
I think my doctor's lost it. I just got a prescription for _________!
I think the reason I'm so fucked-up is because my dad made me play with _________ when I was a baby.
I think we should have a talk with our daughter. I looked in her closet today and found _________.
I think when you spread _________ around it's good for everybody. - Barack Obama
I'm afraid your son may need serious help. When asked to draw a picture of his family, he drew a picture of what he calls
of _________ while Daddy is busy _________."
I'm ashamed to admit this, but I get kinda turned on when I see _________ rub up against _________.
I'm glad we had a substitute teacher today. Instead of a test, we had a discussion about _________.
I'm leery of the couple that moved in across the street. She sells _________, and he wears _________ like a hat.
I'm no prude, but how can you watch a movie of _________ fucking _________?
I'm not saying she's a whore, but for $13.72 she once sucked _________ while cramming _________ up her ass.
I'm not spending $80 on a Halloween costume! When I was your age, I just dressed as _________, and I made it out of ______
I'm not superstitious, but I swear I saw _________ in my coffee this morning!
I'm prtty sure Barack Obama was created in a lab by combining _________ with _________.
I'm sure the chef's special is delicious, but can he make it without _________?
I've got a system for beating the casino: just bet on _________.
If you zoom in on _________, you can clearly see _________.
If your God really is all-loving, how the hell do you explain the existence of _________?
In a horrific experiment, a mad scientist successfully grafted _________ onto a rabbit.
In ancient Greece, it was common for men to have sexual relations with _________.
In Back to the Future Part IV, Doc returns to Marty in a time machine he made out of _________.
In lieu of flowers, the famlily requests you send me an orphan _________.
In my spare time, I enjoy reading, bicycling and _________.
In order for little girls to advance from Brownie to full-fledged Scout, they must spend a night in the woods alone with __
In the news today, the artist formerly known as Prince has changed his name to a drawing of _________.
Instead of eating a doughnut for breakfast, try _________!
It didn't really dawn on me until my adulthood, but Winnie the Pooh was really just a metaphor for _________.
It's silly, but I'm terrified of _________!
Jackie Chan could kick the shit out of Chuck Norris with _________ tied behind his back!
Like, oh my god! Gag me with _________!
Look, it's a great story, but you can't call it "The Cat in _________."
No matter how upset I am, I always smile when I see _________.
Nobody can hurt me without _________. - Mahatma Gandhi
Nothing says "I love you" like _________!
Nothing soothes itchy genitals like _________!
Of course I'll marry you! You make me happier than _________!
One of these days, I'm going to sneak up behind some kid with his pants sagging too low and shove _________ up his ass!
People of Earth, we come offering you our advanced knowledge of _________!
Police brutality is really getting out of hand. Today I saw a cop smack an orphan with _________!
School supply lists are getting out of hand! What will they require the kids to bring next?
Sir, I cannot grant you a divorce simply because your wife loves _________!
Sir, I'll have to ask you to refrain from _________!
Some say Chuck Norris has no chin behind his beard, but only _________.
Soylent Green is _________!
Speak softly and carry _________. - Theodore Roosevelt
That's the good thing about being president, I can do _________. - Barack Obama
The next person who says "bae" is getting _________ in the eye!
This application is a little too personal. They actually want to know if I enjoy _________!
This is a magic mirror. If you look into it, you can see _________.
This is a test of _________. This is only a test.
This zoo is awful! They feed the lions _________!
To combat your addiction, I'd advise administering _________ rectally.
Tonight's top story: A man enraged by _________ stabs a woman with _________!
Trouble quitting smoking? Try sucking on _________!
Trust me, do not mix _________ with _________ unless you want to puke!
Uncle Sam says, "I Want _________ For U.S. Army!"
What a nightmare! I dreamed my face had been replaced with _________!
What chases me in my nightmares?
What did Abraham Lincoln wear before his iconic stovepipe hat?
What did my great-grandmother leave to me in her will?
What did the police find in the trunk of my car?
What do I stick up my butt when I'm alone?
What does Dick Cheney keep in a jar in his desk drawer?
What if aliens make themselves known, and it turns out they have _________ for hands?
What was Hitler really after when he invaded Poland?
What's the best thing to show a Jehovah's Witness to make them leave?
What's the perfect birthday gift for a 14-year-old boy?
Whatever you do, do NOT Google _________!
When I surprised, I occasionally shout out, "Well shit on _________ and call me _________!"
When I was a kid, my favorite toy was _________.
When I'm feeling lonely, I like to draw pictures of _________.
Who in the hell wants a coupon for 19% off of _________?
Why the hell would you get _________ tattooed on your face?
Why was I fired from my last job?
You call this art? This one has _________ where _________ should be!
You can take _________ and shove it up your ass!
100% pure anus beef.

12-year-old girls.
151-proof vodka.
2 Furries, 1 Plush.
4 Girls Fingerpaint.
50 Shades of Gay.
70s bush.
A 12-cylinder, 691-horsepower clitoral stimulator.
A 14-year-old dresses like a 40-year-old hooker.
A 3D-printed sex doll.
A 40-year-old man obsessed with Rainbow Brite.
A 40-year-old woman dressed like a 14-year-old tramp.
A 50-year-old 300-pound man in a diaper.
A 7-foot-tall 400-pound black woman with a strap-on.
A baboon fighting a weasel.
A baggie full of powdered baby formula.
A barbed-wire cock ring.
A Barbie® doll with realistic proportions.
A big fuck-ff wall on the border.
A big, floppy donkey dick.
A big, purple double-headed dildo.
A blue light special.
A blue waffle wearing a pink sock.
A bottle of unlabeled booze.
A bowl of poo cheese.
A bull with its dick stuck in a matador.
A Catholic archbishop.
A cheeky monkey.
A chimpanzee with a 19-inch erection.
A Chinese man who is very aptly named Hung Wei Lo.
A clit larger than the average penis.
A complete lack of imagination.
A crazy old lady throwing turds at passers-by.
A creepy ice cream truck driver.
A cuddly badger.
A cunning linguist.
A dead parrot.
A dik-dik stuck in a xenopus.
A diseased hamster in your ass.
A dog humping a cat humping a mouse.
A double entendre.
A drug-sniffing dog with a cocaine addiction.
A fairy with the head of an elephant.
A figment of your diseased imagination.
A Flash® animation of a rhino screwing an oxpecker.
A for-real sharknado.
A friendly police officer who never hurt anyone.
A giraffe with Down syndrome.
A hen-teaser.
A hilariously unfortunate error in translation.
A horse riding a cowboy.
A kung-fu master.
A lemming that devours human souls.
A leper's rotted cock.
A leprechaun devouring your flesh.
A lightsaber up the ass.
A literal shit storm.
A little old lady constantly shouting "Where's the beef?"
A loathsome bastard.
A lowland gorilla mouth raping a graduate student.
A man with multiple personalities, and they're all assholes.
A mattress stuffed with assorted body parts.
A membership to the Disease of the Month Club.
A Mexican whore-beast.
A million allowances' worth of quarters!
A mob of kangaroos with flamethrowers.
A multiracial, hermaphroditic dwarf.
A mutant elephant with a trunk where its tail should be.
A muthafuckin' crackah-ass honkey.
A naked midget falling out of your girlfriend's vagina.
A nightmarish cross between a cobra and a tarantula.
A PDF copy of the complete works of Dr. Seuss.
A penguin obsessed with world domination.
A pickled penis.
A pimp slap.
A pimp-lookin' motherfucker with a hat.
A piping-hot pot of coffee poured on your genitals.
A Play-Doh® tool with a curiously phallic design.
A poster of little boys playing with puppies.
A profound fear of veginal secretions.
A punk kid that thinks he's awesome because he has a skateboard.
A puppy with two peters.
A religion so bat-shit insane, it makes Scientology seem normal.
A Russian circus bear with alcohol problems.
A saucy puppet show.
A Scotsman with nae trews.
A severe distrust of blue M&M's®.
A snow globe filled with piss and chunks of shit.
A solid throat punch.
A special drink prepared by Bill Cosby himself.
A squirrel with a lit firecracker up its ass.
A strap-on shaped like a T-Rex.
A stupid bitch who rides a mobility scooter just because she's too fat and lazy to walk.
A three-breasted hooker.
A tight, pink pussy.
A vagine with teeth.
A vague 80s reference that nobody understands or cares about.
A very messy grilled cheese sandwich.
A very sexually-aggressive orangutan.
A video game based on a movie based on a video game.
A walrus that likes to rape sharks.
A warm, relaxing golden shower.
A waterbed filled with piss and cum.
A woman who literally has a beaver for a vagina.
Accidentally sitting on your testicles.
Accidentally wiping with poison ivy.
Actually stealing a toddler's nose.
Alchemy.
All the evils of the world!
An afro roughly three feet in diameter.

An Alabama Hot Pocket.
An ass spelunker.
An assoholic bitch!
An Atari® 2600™.
An attractive drag queen.
An average man with an average penis.
An electric penguin, twenty feet high, with long green tentacles that sting people.
An entire gallon of menstraul blood.
An inflatable sheep sex doll.
An insufferable cunt.
An ugly one-horned mule.
Angry anal.
Angry beavers.
Ass.
Barbara Bush's grotesque, ancient gray-bearded oyster.
Beating the shit out of some fuck-tard who confused Star Wars with Star Trek.
Beck.
Becoming Supreme Overlord of the United States.
Being the middle of a human centipede.
Being anally raped by a Wookiee.
Being doomed by a puppet.
Being elbow deep in Paris Hilton's ass.
Being frozen in the wastes of the ninth circle of hell getting corn-holed in the eye sockets by pineapple-dicked demons fr
end of fucking time!!!
Being so ugly that you make Rocky Dennis look damned fine.
Being tied down and having your mouth filled with your mother's feces.
Being trapped at a the bottom of an outhouse.
Beings composed entirely of light who derive nutrition solely from air.
Ben Stein.
Betty White.
Bi-curious George, the very swinging monkey.
Bisexuals.
Biting as hard as you can.
Biting the head off of a bat.
Blasting doors open with your dick.
Bloody semen.
Blowing strangers for gas money.
Boba Fett.
Bonds that encourage chaos.
Boobies everywhere.
Booty calls.
Both hands.
Bowties. Bowties are cool.
Brainwashing the innocent.
Butt pirates.
Buying memory enhancement pills, but forgetting to take them.
Caitlyn Jenner.
Calling forth a wild bear to smite thine enemies.
Carcharodon Megalodon.
Carnivorous butterflies.
CatDog.
Cheech and Chong.
Chicken McDickets.
Choosing between a sparkly faggot and a llama-faced faggot.
Coaching youth sports because it's the only socially acceptable way to scream at the little shits.
Cobwebs in your mother's vagina.
Computer nerds that dislike real people.
Country music.
Crafting a massice thermonuclear device using Bisquick®, duct tape and sheer genius like some kind of fucking MacGyv
Crappy third-party expansions.
Crustaceans fucking with your climate control.
Cutting off a man's dick and shoving it down his throat.
Darth Vader's semi-robotic cock.
Decorating your entire house in Realtree® like a true hilljack.
Defecating on your microphone.
Dick piercings.
Dinosaur stuff!
Discovering that your mother, aunt and sister are all the same person.
Disdik.
Disney®.
Doctor Who.
Doin' it froggy style.
Dr. Hook, Proctologist.
Dying from excessive masturbation.
Eating pot brownies.
Ejaculating into your own shit and piss, stirring it up and dumping it on your head.
Ejaculating on a mogwai and then having it rip your schlong off when it turns into a gremlin.
Electric Kool-Aid®.
Elephantitis of the testicles.
Enjoying a 14-mile ride on a bicycle with no seat.
Every child in every country, regardless of race or religion!
Expressing your individuality by dressing just like everybody else.
Extreme anal insertion.
Fabio.
Faded Polaroid® pictures of grandpa at the nude beach.
Fart bubbles.
Fecalphilia.
Fighting over whose imaginary friend has the bigger dick.

Filling ice cube trays with semen.
Fire ants inside your urethra.
Five hours locked in the basement with your mom's friend who makes you call him Uncle Johnny, a gallon of 151 and vat
Flowery Twats.
Flying amphibious sharks with lasers for eyes.
Former First Lady Laura Bush.
Genital fungus.
Getting all pissy when people emulate your unoriginal idea.
Getting shit on by a flying elephant.
Getting tea-bagged by a 70-year-old man.
Getting your testicles stuck in the vacuum cleaner.
Gilbert Gottfried.
Goatse!
God-damned Facebook®.
God-damned flower-fucking hippies!
Godzilla.
Google®.
Grandpa's nasty, hairy sack.
H. Ross Perot.
Half-priced hookers.
Han Solo's penis encased in carbonite.
Having a clitoris instead of a nose.
Having a nut sack that hangs so low you can't go outside wearing shorts.
Having jumper cables attached to your scrotum.
Having sex in the storeroom.
Having sex with doughnuts.
Having sex with jars of mayonnaise.
Having your dick stuck in a chicken.
Hitler, Elvis and E.T. blowing each other.
Howard the Duck.
Ice Cube. The rapper.
Implosive diarrhea.
Intentionally losing the circle jerk.
iOS®.
Jabba the Hutt, mother fucker!
Jeremy Irons.
Jerking off a homeless man while fucking his grungy asshole.
Jesuit malware that causes your penis to fall off.
Joining the Lemon Party.
Kicking stray dogs right in the butthole.
Killer Klowns from Outer Space.
Killing all humans.
Lando Calrissian. 'Nuff Said.
Larry Flynt.
Larry, his brother Darryl and his other brother Darryl.
Laughing whenever a Brit mentions puffing on a fag.
Licking random strangers.
Licking your own genitals.
Literally eating a vagina.
Literally having a bush for pubic hair.
Literally having your head up your ass.
Little boys in cute sailor suits.
Living off the grid.
Lorena Bobbit.
Lorenzo Lamas.
Making a duckface like a stupid little tween bitch.
Making daddy proud.
Making dirty pictures on a Lite-Brite®.
Making shadow puppets with your junk.
Malaysian transgender hookers.
Mange.
Margaret Thatcher's wrinkly British twat.
Mario banging the shit out of Bowser.
Masturbating with a Freddy Krueger glove.
Minecrap.
Miss Piggy getting nose-banged by Gonzo.
Mistaking a tampon for a suppository.
Misunderstanding your girlfriend's request and shaving her kitten.
Modly underwear.
Molesting alligators.
Muff goblins!
Murdering grandma, chopping her to bits and baking her into a meatloaf.
Ninjas.
Nonagenarians.
Nymphomaniacs.
Obeying your Mistress like a good little man-bitch.
Omnipotence.
One billion Chinamen.
One bourbon, one scotch and one beer.
Painting happy trees with Bob Ross while you're stoned as fuck.
Pastries eager for humor.
Performing DIY gender reassignment surgery.
Playing ping pong with your balls.
Poo-poo on your pee-pee.
Popping bubble wrap with your junk.
Pouring hydrogen flouride into the baptismal water.
Pressing 1 for English.
Pretty pink panties.
Princess Leia being gang-banged by Ewoks.
Prosthetic labia.
Puking out of both ends at the same time.
Putting your phone on vibrate, sitting on it and hoping for a call.
R. Kelly.
Ra.
Rapeberries.
Raping stuffed animals at Walmart®.
Reaching the end of the Internet.
Recreational drug use.
Reusing condoms.
Reversing the polarity of the neutron flow.
Richard Fitzwell.
Richard Nixon's head on Spiro Agnew's body.
Rihanna, Katy Perry and Scarlett Johansson having a threesome.
Ripping someone's arm off and beating them to death with it.
Robbing from the rich and just keeping it.
Robin, Boy Wonder.
Ron Jeremy.
Roosters well-acquainted with war.
Ryan Seacrest.
Satanism.
Scrooge McDuck's money bin.
Secretly being glad you looked up ass smoothie.
Selena Gomez.
Setting the world record for the most sex partners in a single day.
Sexual favors.
Sexy ghost butts.
She-Man and the Bastards of the Universe.
Shit literally hitting a fan.
Shitting all over the walls, floor and ceiling of a Walmart® bathroom.
Shooting your load up her nose.
Shoving a tapered candle up your ass, lighting it and pretending to be a birthday cake.
Shoving food up your ass and shitting out of your mouth.
Shoving your adult children up your wife's vagina and demanding a refund.
Sittin' on the toilet.
Sleepaway Camp.
Slurping cum out of some whore's asshole.
Smokin' in the boys' room.
Smoking cigarettes and watching Captain Kangaroo.
Smoking Ricky Ricardo's big Cuban cigar.

Sniffing a dog's butthole.
Sniffing public toilet seats.
Some fish making sea cows nervous.
Some window-licking fuck-tard.
Something completely different.
Soylent Green.
Spotted dick.
Stabbing a motherfucker in the eye with a fork.
Surgically replacing a man's testicle with actual nuts.
Taking a shit on the Sherman Antitrust Act.
Tasting the rainbow.
Teaching the elderly about sadomasochism.
That one strange nobody talks about.
That Which Should Not Be.
The American Girl Store®.
The best fuck you'll ever have.
The building which is on fire.
The chicken which is amazing.
The delicious taste of Spam®.
The dreaded gum disease gingivitis!
The entire cast of Ben-Hur.
The feel of my human penis in your dead pig mouth.
The flesh vortex.
The fucking fuck in charge of all you fucking fucks.
The giant cheese taco.
The Girl Scouts of America.
The Green Fairy.
The Hunger Games.
The incomparable Adam West.
The Jack Link's® Sasquatch.
The Joker, The Penguin and The Riddler filling all of Catwoman's holes at the same time.
The Knights Who Say "Ni!"
The Lad Himself: Benny Hill!
The Pirate Bay.
The pop-up version of the Kama Sutra.
The sheer joy of anal sex.
The Shocker. [Graphic of The Shocker]
The slow but unavoidable death of the American shopping mall.
The spanking machine.
The U.S. Women's soccer team.

The undeniable accuracy of facts on Wikipedia®.
The whole damn family.
Thinking the phrase"tit for tat" means if you show your breasts, you get inked for free.
Three-inch nipples.
Titty-fucking a dairy cow.
Uma Thurman.
Unethical business practices.
Unknowingly hooking up with your grandfather on Tinder™.
Usher.
Using a handgun as a remote control.
Using a machete as a strap-on.
Using a toilet brush as a tooth brush.
Using a urinal cake as a bar of soap.
Using an eggplant as a butt plug.
Using dildos for Christmas decorations.
Using Novocaine® as lube.
Using the Death Star to perform laser eye surgery.
Valium®.
Voodoo.
Watching The Goonies for, like, the millionth time.
Wearing a penguin as a condom.

Wearing your ovaries on the outside.
Wedded bliss.
West-God-Damned Virginia.
Whacking off to pictures of inflatable dragons.
What the fox says.
Whippin's with the buckle end of the belt!
Whipping, but hurting your nae-nae.
Wookiee nookie.
Yoko Ono.
You boss's daughter and son.
Your wrinkled pussy that prevents me from being your lover.
Joshteon Vs. The World: It's A Game
https://www.reddit.com/r/cardsagainsthumanity/comments/66mxl0/when_i_was_in_high_school_i_made_a_version_o
A fan-made custom expansion created by Redditor TheGamedawg
__________ used __________! It’s super effective!
__________, grab my __________! ADVENTURE!!!
__________, the __________ djinn has joined your party!
__________: The __________ Story
3DS owners were surprised to see that the new Streetpass update allowed players to exchange their __________.
After days of practice with __________, I think I’m finally ready for __________.
And the Academy Award for __________ goes to __________.

Apparently there’s a glitch in the first Kirby game that allows you to turn into __________ if you eat __________.
At the wildlife park, my sister couldn’t withstand the cuteness of a pen full of __________. She even named one of them ____
Breaking news! Scientists have recently discovered that __________ are directly related to __________.
Due to a recent poll by Speed Demos Archive, apparently __________ is the best Final Fantasy.
Ever noticed how a lot of modern-day movies seem to be based on __________?
First Twinkies, then Oreos, and now they found a way to deep-fry __________.
For halloween this year I decided to dress as the scariest thing ever, __________!
Have you heard of the new party game? It involves shooting __________ into __________.
Have you seen the new Katamari cousin? His gimmick is that he’s __________.
Hello Tyrannosaurus Allen, I’m filling my water with __________!
Hey guys, __________ here and welcome back to let’s play __________.
HI, BILLY MAYS HERE FOR __________!

Holy __________, Batman!
I can’t believe I just got trolled by __________.
I just thought of a new game idea. It’s about this __________ who goes on a quest for __________.
I love the smell of __________ in the morning!
I never quite fit in at school until I found the __________ club.
I play __________ in attack mode!
I’m going to do an __________, WHOOOOAAAAA!!!
I’m hungry. I think I’ll have some __________.
In 100 years, what will we use to fuel our vehicles?
It baffles me how the internet was able to make a meme out of __________.
It is rumored that it the top of Mt. Everest, there is a strange man who will exchange $200 for __________.
It’s really unsettling to see __________ as the new character in the next Smash Bros. game.
It’s time for me to live up to my family name and face __________!
Josh got a __________ and I didn't!
Look, up in the sky! It’s a bird! It’s a plane! It’s __________-man!
Michael Bay’s new action film pits __________ against __________ in an all out brawl to the death.
My __________ is ready!
My mom was surprised to find that it wasn’t squirrels that were stealing food from the birdfeeder, but __________.
My sister just showed me a new anime. It’s about __________.
NASA recently began new plans to attempt to send a __________ into space.
New from Fiddleheads productions: __________ Jr.!
New from Hasbro, __________-opoly!
New from J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and The Chamber of __________.
New from Lilian Jackson Braun, The Cat Who Saw __________.
New from Maruchan, __________-flavored ramen!
New from Milton Bradley, Hungry Hungry __________!
New from Papa Louie Arcade: Papa’s __________-eira
New from Square Enix, Final Fantasy: The __________ Chronicles!
New from Stephen King, a novel about a killer __________ that will stop at nothing until it gets it’s __________.
On a scale from 1 to __________ how much of a __________ fan are you?
One day when phones are considered primitive and out-of-date, people will communicate via __________.
One thing that’s always been on my bucket list is to one day try __________.
Something I never knew is that apparently my friend has an extensive __________ collection.
Sorry guys, but I can’t come. My __________ died out.
Take about five dozen eggs, start putting them in a bowl, mix the heck out of them, and what do you get?
That boss would've been a cakewalk. But unfortunately, he had the ability to summon __________.
The cartoonist was in big trouble after publishing a strip about __________ that somehow offended __________.
The Federal Court of Justice has found __________ guilty of __________.
The mother was shocked to find www.__________.com/__________ in her child’s browser history.
The new movie is going to be rated R just because of a scene involving __________ and __________.
The Olympics have recently banned __________ for giving players an unfair advantage.
There’s nothing to fear but __________.
They see me __________in’, they hatin’
This __________ is a creature of chaos. It may take many incarnations
This week at the gaming club, we will be playing __________.
To many Pokeé mon fan’s surprise, the next generation decided to introduce the new __________-type to the series.
Tonight on 20/20, what you don’t know about __________ could kill you.
Tonight’s special will be roast __________.
Unfortunately for Capcom, Megaman’s new adversary, __________-man didn’t go as well with fans as they hoped.
What am I fighting for!?!?
What annoyed you today?
What killed Kenny?
What will be the downfall of society as we know it?
What’s my superpower?
What’s the best item in The Binding of Isaac?
When life gives you lemons, __________.
Who’s the secret boss in the next Kingdom Hearts game?
Why is the lifeboat red and sticky?
2 cubic tons of sand
42, the meaning of life
4kids edits
A 3 course meal
A 300 yard drive
A balanced breakfast
A BRAND NEW CAR!!!
A bunny with a pancake on its head
A distraction
A flaming moustache
A flash mob
A freezer that is out of control
A friendly gesture
A good old-fashioned Super Smash Bros. tournament
A horse riding simulator
A jacket I lost at the airport
A legitimate Nintendo World Championships 1990 Gold game cartridge
A mobius strip
A moment of silence
A monster headache
A panda named Panda
A project on Colony Collapse Disorder
A really awesome hat
A really weird commercial for soap
A Square Pig
A trumpet with sticky valves
A wardrobe that leads to narnia
Accidentally casting the most magic consuming healing spell on an ally who is only missing 5% of their health
Accidently calling lizards “dragons”
Accidently killing a shiny Pokeé mon
Ace & Opeo, the ultimate team
Ad revenue
An adult beverage
AN ALL CAPS RAGE!!!
An Eagle Scout
An opossum with a jetpack
Angels we have heard online
Armadillo
Attempting to explain why Ventus looks like Roxas
Awesome sauce
bad jokes
Batman
Battletoads
Being a dinosaur
Being on fire
Being woken up in the middle of the night
Big lollipops
Bill Nye, The Science Guy
Blue-Eyes White Dragon
Board games
Bosses that can heal themselves
Bowser’s arms, the spinniest arms in the galaxy!!!
Breakdancing
Breaking the bank
Breaking the fourth wall
Bunchie the llama
Bunnies
Button Mashing
Buzz Killington
Camouflage
Capcom’s marketing campaign
Cat in a box
Cat Planet
Cave Johnson
Censorship
Chaos Emeralds
Chi
Christian Bale's Batman voice
Chubby Huggs
Coherent storytelling
Cole Phelps
Combustible lemons
Complaining about your child playing an M rated video game that YOU bought!
Corny one-liners
Creepers
Criminally underrated games
Crona’s Poem
Cujo
Cute little kitties
Cybernetic Enhancements
Dancing on the ceiling
Dancing the Can-Can
Danny Donkey
Danny’s Marbles
Defeating 99 of Demyx’s infamous water clones in 30 seconds
Delta Airlines
Dr. Who
Dragonflies
Dramatic Chipmunk
Duct tape
EA Sports games
Elvis Presley
Entomologist
Erin Jr.
Explosions
Falling for the oldest trick in the book
Fanboys
Fanfiction
Fear itself
Firebreathing
First world problems
Flea Markets
Flutterbies
Full Life Consequences
Gaming skills that pay the bills
Giraffe Soup
God
Golf clap
Great balls of fire
Guitar Solos
Guy Montag
Having drills for arms
Hawaiian Pizza
Heavy metal motorcycle of the future
Highly overrated movies
Hope
Hot Pockets
Humanity
Hypnosis! Dream Eater! Hypnosis! Dream Eater! Hypnosis! Dream Eater! Hypnosis! Dream Eater!
In-jokes
Iron man
Japanese mythology
Jazz hands
Jesus
Joshing it up
Joshteon
Kaizo Mario
Katamari
Keyblades
Koko the clown
Lady Gaga’s wardrobe
Laptop charger
Lasers
Lightsabers
LINE PIECE!!!
Literally stealing candy from a baby
Loading Screens
lolcats
Losing to the easiest boss after 300 hours of practice
Lucky with a moustache and a tiny top hat
Mad Strats
Making a pouty face
Making friends with over 600 animals then turning them all into stardust
Maru the cat
Merrahaunuhmakwanzakon
Mine Turtle
Mishka, the talking dog
Mistaking a skunk for a flower
Moonwalk
More of the same
Motherly love
My inner demons
Navi
Nick Kang
None shall pass
Nothing
Novelty Twitter accounts
One hundred billion dollars
Optimism
Party like it’s 1599
Pessimism
PETA
Phili-Z
Pie flavored pie
Pink Tail farming
Playing The Floor is Lava
Plot twists
Pointless 3D movies
Popularity contests
Prairie dogs
Putting an object on your cat’s head and saying “hat”
Rabbit puns
Red Solo Cup
Retsupurae
Richie Rich
Sailor Moon
Salad Fingers
Santa Claus
Saxon of The Mouse Guard
School computer
Seeing Russia from your house
Segway cop
Server lag
Sheep
Shipping your pants
Shovelware
Showing off your favorite game
Singing in the rain
Skipping school on your birthday
Slavinator
Slenderman
Smackdown Vs. Raw
Sniffles the anteater
Somehow failing a class that’s based on effort
Somehow falling asleep in your favorite class
Space Core
Sparks Ark
Speedrunning an RPG
Spiked floors
Spoiler Alerts
Ssssslllllooooowwwww iiiiinnnnnttttteeeeerrrrrnnnneeeeettttt...
stealgulls
Stinky darkness
Tankmen
That guy that’s in every Pixar movie
The “I like turtles” kid
The 1%
The 99%
The American Dream
The Avengers
The bear that doesn’t care
The Black Axe
The Blob
The blue screen of death
The Boy Scouts of America
The Cat in The Hood
The daily funnies
The element of surprise
The fabled jackalope
The final boss
The final boss of the internet
The Four Horsemen of The Apocalypse
The Horadric Cube
The Internet
The Invisible Man
The Jesus Christ Sponge
The king of lames
The Kool-Aid Man
The Light Crusader
The little engine that could
The most annoying sound in the world
The party squid
The Pythagorean Theorem
The Random Banana
The real superpower of teamwork
The red ring of death
The Royal Rainbow
The Secret Cow Level
The Silly Olympics
The sound of growing up
The spinning beachball of death
The Stop Online Piracy Act
The Trololo
The true meaning of Christmas
The Truffle Shuffle
Those annoying women at the library who talk loudly on the phone about Twilight
Throwing hammers!
Time?
Trolling
Trolls
Trying to beat a 30-hour game in one sitting
Waiting patiently as your computer attempts the arduous task of something we’ve come to know as ‘working’
What’s for dinner
Whitney’s Miltank
Wikipedia
Wizard’s chess
Wolves
World peace
Writer’s block
Your opening thoughts
Youtube
Zeus
Nerds Against Humanity

http://nerdsagainsthumanity.tumblr.com/
Nerd and geek themed cards for use in Cards Against Humanity, or to play as a stand-alone game. Cards are posted to the
blog.
___________ is often in direct opposition to _____________.

_____________ is dead. Long live _____________!
_____________ is the _____________ of _____________.
______________ called. They want _____________ back.
______________ is the new _____________.
_______________, does exactly what it says on the tin.
_______________? _______________? A Jedi craves not these things.
____________, still a better love story than Twilight.

____________/__________ slash fiction.
After the incident, now I have the power of _____________.

Aliens have actually refused to invade Earth for years because of _____________.
All we need to complete my brilliant plan is _________.
All you really need to be steampunk is _____________.
An online quiz told me I am _________.

Are you classified as human? "Negative, I am _________."
As social outcasts, we're accepting of everyone, unless you're into __________.

Aslan had to sacrifice himself because of _____________.
Band Camp? Psh! I went to _________ camp.
Believe it or not, there are people who think the Internet is _______________.
Breaking news: Millenials are now killing ______.
Cosplay just isn't cosplay if it doesn't involve ___________.
Damn it, Jim! I'm ____________, not ____________!
Damn it! Kickstarter rejected my application to crowdfund _____________!

Define normal.
Do not drive or operate heavy machinery until you know how ______ affects you.
Do not drive or operate heavy machinery until you know how ______ affects you.
Do you want ants? Because _____________ is how you get ants!
Everyone needs to drive a vehicle, even ______.
Everything I ever needed to know I learned by watching _____________.
Finally! Someone on deviantART has reimagined Disney princesses as _____________!
First hipsters stole our glasses, next they'll take _______________.
First we lost power to the engines, then we lost _______________.
Girls don’t like boys; girls like _____________ and _____________.
Given enough time, even the best TV shows will resort to _______________.
Good morning, I see my ____________ has/have failed.
Good news everyone! I've just invented a solution to _____________!
Hodor?
Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for _________.

How did I lose all my Facebook friends?
How did you scare away your last date?
How disappointing, the back of my wardrobe just leads to _____________.
How do you fake it to fit in with the crowd?

How do you win at steampunk?
I always imagined my first time would involve _____________.
I am reinventing myself as DJ _____________.
I can't believe they approved my doctoral dissertation on _______________.
I don't know what I find more annoying: _____________, or _____________.

I don't know where you magic pixies came from, but I like ______.
I don't play Pokeé mon Go because of ______.

I don’t play Pokeé mon Go because of ______.
I filled my hard drive with pictures of _______________.

I had no idea demon hunting would involve so much _______________.
I haven't forgiven George R.R. Martin since _____________.
I just found out from a Facebook quiz that my name means ______.
I just found out from a Facebook quiz that my name means ______.
I just started my own viral internet hoax about _____________ and _____________.
I made fun of Aquaman until I found out he was __________.
I may not be great at sports, but I am amazing at _______________.
I missed most of my senior year with a bad case of ____________.
I once played an invincible Mage who could only be killed by ________.
I only like to read comic books about _____________.
I only seem socially awkward because of ____________.
I rubbed the magic lamp, but instead of a genie, _____________ came out!
I should have known better than to engineer _______________.

I spent three hours last night arguing with strangers online about _____________.
I suspected the mayor might be evil, but I wasn't sure until he turned into _______________.
I swear by _______, I will end you.
I thought I'd seen everything, until the aliens showed us _______________.
I threw my controller at my TV because of _____________.
I typed your symptoms into WebMD and it said you might have _________.
I was sent to the school psychologist because I wrote a paper about ___________.
I won't be bullied again, now that I have _______________.
I'll start doing sports as soon as __________ is considered a sport.
I'm allergic to _________. I'm a Hufflepuff!
I'm getting sick of having to explain _______________.

I'm not a violent person, but I will throw down if you badmouth _______________.
I'm sorry Tumblr, but _____________ is not a gender.
I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of _____________.
I've just never really understood _____________.
I've seen the best minds of my generation destroyed by ____________.
I’m boycotting _____________ because of _____________.

If Science Fiction has taught me anything, it's never trust ________.
In a way, all of us has an El Guapo to face. For us, El Guapo is ______.
In nuclear winter, I'll stay busy with ______.
In space, no one can hear ___________.
In space, no one can hear _________.
In the 24th century, all spacecraft will be equipped with _______________.
In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups: ______ and ______
In the MCU, Stan Lee is clearly _____________.
In the next movie, for a change, Kirk will have sex with ___________.
Intergalactice diplomacy only goes so far. Sometimes you have to use _______________.
Irony is _____________, along with _____________.
It looks like I picked the wrong week to quit ______.
Kinetic energy is best described as _____________.
Kneel before _______________!

Legolas, what do your Elf eyes see?
Lonely nerds: Be lonely no longer, thanks to _______________!
Mangalores won't fight without _______________.
Many Bothans died to bring us ______.
Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs should be updated to include _____________.

My favorite kind of movie is now just anything that features ______.
My favorite kind of movie is now just anything that features ______.
My little buttercup has the sweetest ______.

My name is spelled _________, but it's pronounced _________.
My new LARP character is as smart as ______ and as charming as __________.
My next project will be a 1/6 scale model of _______________.
My senior year, I wrote "_____________" in everybody else's yearbooks.
Name one thing you're gonna need a rope for.
No one believes I'm really allergic to ____________.
Oh my God, Karen, you can't just ask people why they're ____________.
Okay, but is ______ inside of ______ a sandwich?
Older nerds spend most of their time on _______________.
Once we start to really explore space, we'll just be disappointed it doesn't have more _____________.
One TV/movie trope that needs to die is _____________.
Only 90s kids will remember _________.
Only two things scare me and one of them is nuclear war. The other is ____________.
Our brave hero is saved by a deus ex machina, in the form of ________.
People think being a nerd is about _____________, but it's really about _____________.
Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say ______.
Resistance is _______________.
Rick Astley won't give you up, but he loves _____________.
Rule 34 is always true, no exceptions, not even for _______________.

She's a witch! She turned me into ____________!
Some number of fanboys are always going to whine about ______.
Spoiler alert: The next _____________ will be full of _____________!
Talk to your doctor if you have moderate to severe _____________.
That's no moon; it's _____________.

The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to _______________.
The best thing about getting a new computer is _______________.

The best/worst thing about Tumblr is ____________.
The best/worst thing about your friend's homebrew game system is.....
The Captain's last words were: _______________.
The citizens of Smalltownville are in peril! This looks like a job for…
The girls/boys will come running when they realize I have _________.
The hammer is _____________.
The Internet is for _______________.
The last time I ran a LARP, I killed five characters with __________.
The last time I was away, my coworkers filled my office with _______________.
The next hit YA series features a teenage girl who gets involved with ______________.
The only thing saving us from Skynet is _____________.
The Sworn Brothers of the Wall really like __________.
The worst injustice in the history of cinema was __________.
There are only two things I can't stand in this world: _____________ and _____________.
There is no Dana, only __________.
There's an app for _____________.

They're remaking _____________, but this time with _____________.
This is the future? I thought it would have more _____________.
This parrot is not dead; he's _________.

This summer, Marvel will dominate the box office with _____________.
This week on Mythbusters: Does _______ really lead to ___________?
TK-421, why aren't you at your post?
Tonight on Mythbusters, we tackle the big one....
Unfortunately, before Black Widow gets her own movie, there will first be one about _____________.
Video games don't make people violent. A far more common outcome is _____________.
We all know Jubilee is pointless, but the worst mutant is actually ________.
We were just rehearsing for our new musical: _____________.
We'll be the first historical reenactment group to reenact _______________.
What did I get my ass kicked for in school?
What did I wear to ComicCon?
What did MacGyver use to defuse the bomb?

What did you do, Ray?
What do you burn, apart from witches?
What do you get if you multiply 6 by 9?

What do you want to do tonight, Brain?
What does "ecto gammat" mean?
What does, "I am Groot," mean?

What is the current password to the Gryffindor common room?
What is the Force?

What is thy bidding, my master?
What is your biggest nerd pet peeve?
What is your quest?
What should Jon Stewart devote his time to next?

What would be the best indie band name?
What would you see in the Mirror of Erised?
What's in the box?

What's the weirdest thing about dating a jock?
What's the worst thing nerds have to deal with?
What's with all the carrots? What do bunnies need such good eyesight for anyway?
Whatever you do, don't ever, EVER read _______________.
When I added these smuggling compartments, I never thought I'd be smuggling _________.
When I was vying for the Iron Throne, I didn't know it would involve __________.
When it came down to it, the MCU Civil War was really all about ______.
When times get tough we can always blame ______.

When you stare into ______________, _____________ stares back.
Where did it all go wrong?
Which would you rather fight: ______ or ______?
Who killed the world?
Who's scruffy looking?

Why am I dripping with goo?
Why did it have to be snakes?

Why do we even have that lever?
Why doesn't Hollywood understand how computers work?

Why will you get locked up in Litchfield Federal Penitentiary?
You dawg, we heard you like _________, so we put some __________, in your __________.
You kick down the door, and find _____________.

You may be cool, nut you'll never be ______ cool.
You must be truly desperate to come to ____________ for help.
You must cut down the mightiest tree in the forest with _____________.
You need to read my new fanfic! It's about _____________.
You should know, nerds are ______ in the streets, but _________ in the sheets.
You think you're upset now? Wait until Ben Affleck is cast to play ______.
You thought high school was awkward? Wait until you encounter _____________.
You won't believe what came through the wormhole…
You wouldn't be so brave if you'd ever smelled the Bog of Eternal _______________.
You'd be surprised by how much overlap there is in the Venn diagram of _________ and ____________.
You're rolling up a new character. You put the most points into...
Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of __________.
@!#?@! Q*bert.
*mumblecough*
21 Things You Probably Didn't Know About Buzzfeed.

42, Duh.
A 13-hour clock.
A 30% chance that it's already raining.

A 7-sided die.
A basement full of sweaty nerds.

A big black hole.
A big red cape with a mind of its own.
A big, dangerous guy who wants to kill us.
A bigger, blacker hole.
A bit of red on you.
A brain from someone named "Abby Normal".
A brilliant idea with terrible execution.
A bum ticker.
A company of lawyers that is somehow more evil than regular lawyers.
A computer virus that lets you know it's ion progress with a zany graphic.
A crazy random happenstance.
A crisp high five.
A crisp high five.
A demon with a heart of gold.

A desparate battle against incredible odds.
A fandom tattoo that only other fans will understand.
A female superhero with a strategically appropriate amount of body armor.
A fourth wall break inside a fourth wall break.
A genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist.
A grail-shaped beacon.
A high-functioning sociopath.
A hundred Tuesdays in a row.
A killer rabbit with nasty, big, pointy teeth.
A leaf on the wind.
A lethal child assassin.

A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away….
A majestic score by John Williams.

A marathon D&D session.
A meat popsicle.
A mighty fine shindig.
A more wretched hive of scum and villainy.

A movie so boring even the trees walked.
A movie with like twelve endings.
A mutant whose only power seems to be changing the TV channels with his brain.
A nice personality.
A plethora of pinñ atas.
A political argument on Facebook with your friend's racist aunt.
A poopie-flavored lollipop.
A poopie-flavored lollipop.
A quiver that never, ever runs out of arrows.
A raccoon with a machine gun.
A rare first edition.

A rare, mint condition, first edition Black Lotus card.
A robot that looks like a person, but shinier.
A room full of nightmares.
A room full of nightmares.
A sci-fi movie full of supermodels.
A second season of Firefly.
A secret identity everybody knows about.
A seemingly endless barrage of virgin jokes.

A series of tubes.
A small thermal exhaust port only two meters wide.
A Starbucks across the street from another Starbucks.
A story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down.
A superstitious, cowardly lot.
A sweet racecar bed.
A switch labeled "more magic".
A talking lion that's really a confusing allegory for Jesus.

A Three Wolf Moon t-shirt.
A traditional English trifle.
A TV show about computers, written by people who have clearly never used them.
A TV show that slowly declines in quality until you're glad to see it go.
A vampire with a soul.
A very cunning hat.
A very groovy mutation.
A very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career.
A very special musical episode.

A wafer-thin mint.
A wedding band that all has crossbows for some reason.

A wicked hot young Magneto.
A Wikipedia rabbit hole.
A Wikipedia rabbit hole.
A zero sum game.
Abandoning Steampunk after you realize how much it appeals to hipsters.
Accidentally polyjuicing yourself into a cat furry.
Acting all smug because you read the books and you know what's coming.
Actually playing Quidditch for real.
Alan Moore's beard.
Aliens that all look like people with different kinds of bumps on their heads.
All of the bacon and eggs that you have.
All that crazy troll strength.
All the fictional mothers who had to die for the sake of back story and character development.
All the updates you need to install on your brand new computer.
Almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.
Altering the timeline.
Always Winter and never Christmas.
An 800-foot statue of Pac-Man with Skeletor and Heather Locklear.

An adultier adult.
An all-syrup Slushie.
An amazingly well-trained phoenix.
An ancient book, full of prophecy, about you.
An app that tricks nerds into going outside.
An app that tricks nerds into going outside.
An area rug that really ties the room together.
An arrow to the knee.
An easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
An eight-year-old girl, in the middle of the ghetto, this time of night, with quantum physics books.
An electric guitar/flamethrower.
An electric guitar/flamethrower.
An EMF detector made out of an old Walkman.
An enormous green rage monster.
An extra 15 seconds of footage that completely changes the tone of the film.
An inspirational quote on a picture of a sunset or a puppy or something.
An SPF so high its basically just white paint.
Anakin in the prequels.
Another day living over the Hellmouth.
Another endless company meeting about efficiency.
Another S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier.
Another special edition.
Another stupid vampire movie.

Another superhero origin story.
Arguing about how to pronounce GIF.
Arguing over the results of a Mythbusters episode.
Arguing that chess is a sport.

Arguing with strangers on the internet.
Authentic frontier gibberish.
Bad guys with British accents.
Bah weep granah weep ninni bong.
Barely passing the Bechdel Test.
Barely passing the Bechdel Test.

Bastard-covered bastards in bastard sauce.
Batbat, a bat that dresses like a bat and has all the powers of a bat.
Bea Arthur singing.
Before the dark times, before the empire.
Being a contributing member of society in some meaningful way.

Being beheaded in front of your children.
Being certain you and your friends are what keeps the local pizza place in business.
Being completely prepared for several different kinds of zombie apocalypse, but totally unprepared to live in actual daily
Being eyed suspiciously for wearing a black trench coat.

Being the smartest person in the room.
Benedict Cumberbatch, Robert Downy Jr., and Jonny Lee Miller, all in one room.
Big Bada Boom.
Black market beagles.
Blank.
Bogey Lowenstein's party.

Boiled leather.
Brain slugs.
Breaking the fourth wall.
Bring shocked by the Red Wedding.

Bunch of jackasses, standing in a circle.
Button mashing.
Buying the cheapest thing at Starbucks for the free Wi-Fi.
Captain Blondbeard, Space Pirate.
Captain Blondbeard, Space Pirate.
Carnies. Circus folk. Nomads, you know. Smell like cabbage. Small hands.
Casting Magic Missile at the darkness.
Cat 5 cable.
Causational vs. correlational statistics.
Celebrating Halloween for the entirety of October.
Chewbacca not getting a medal.
Chewbacca's barber.
Children who solve crimes and fight monsters.
Chris Hemsworth's contractually-obligated shirtless scene.
Christina Hendrick's epic prow.
Clerks 5: We Thought We'd Have Better Jobs by Now.

Cleverly working your larp skills into your resumeé .
Clickbait headlines.
Cloning up some dinosaurs, just for the hell of it.
Clueless parents bringing children to see R-rated movies.
Clueless parents bringing children to see R-rated movies.
Code on a screen in a movie.

Coming home to find the charred remains of your aunt and uncle.
Complaining about a movie you haven't even seen yet.
Con plague.
Confidently walking away from an explosion without looking back.
Coworkers who reheat fish in the microwave.
Cross the Ts and for the… lower case Js.
Crossing the streams.

Crudely rendered CGI.
Cruft so complicated it accidentally becomes A.I.
CTRL-ALT-DEL.
Cumming out a window.
Curves in all the wrong places.

Dad jokes.
Data mining.
David Bowie's mooseknuckle.
Deeply regretting your Google Image Search.
Defending "The Big Bang Theory".

Deleted scenes.
Deviating from the source material.
Dobby's sock.
Dogs and cats, living together, mass hysteria!

Doing social experiments on your coworkers.
Doing tech support for your parents, forever.
Don't Panic.
Doritos and Mountain Dew.

Dot Matrix.
Draculas and Frankensteins.
Emergency saucer separation.

Emotional time travel movies with a strong female lead.
Energon cubes.
Ethics in games journalism.
Excessive Snopes-Linking.
Executive Producer
DICK WOLF
Explosions in space.
Facial hair you can see from behind.
Failing the Turing Test.
Failing the Turing Test.
Fake binary.
Falling asleep to a baseball game.

Falling through two perfectly aligned portals forever.
Fan uproar over a non-white actor being cast in a movie.

Feeding unruly servants to your pet monster.
Felicia Day, the Queen of the Nerds.
Ferocious, spear-wielding teddy bears.
Festive sombreros.
Finally evolving your Magikarp.
Finally evolving your Magikarp.
Finding another excuse to not play foootball with the guys.
Forgetting the 5th of November.
Freddie Mercury riding on Darth Vader's shoulders.
Full of cats.
Fursonas.
Fuzzy little tentacles.

Game over, man! Game over!
Gently discouraging your friend from participating in NaNoWriMo.
Getting all your dating advice from John Hughes movies.
Getting into her Chamber of Secrets, politely.
Getting wax in your mouth.
Global find and replace.
Gluing some gears on it.
Going on and on about how much you don't care about sports.
Going to the diner at 2AM.
Going to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters.
Going viral.
Gorram Reavers.
Grown-ass men and women hitting each other with padded swords.
Gwyneth Paltrow's head.
Hail HYDRA.
Handing out free samples of deodorant at Comic-Con.

Have you tried turning it off and back on again?
Having an emotional affair with animated gifs of Tom Hiddleston.
Having more LARP/Renn Faire clothes than regular clothes.
Head pigeons.
Hello Kitty's face on every damn thing you own.
Hiding under my desk.
His Earlier, Darker Materials (You’ve probably never heard of them).
His Noodly Appendage.
Hitting "refresh" just, maybe, one more time.
Hitting it until it works.
Hodor, Hodor, Hodor Hodor Hodor Hodor.
Hoping senpai will notice me.
Huge… tracts of land.
I am Groot.
I can kill you with my brain.
ID-10/t error.
Idolizing a mass murderer.

Ignoring Guy Fawkes' actual goals.
Ignoring Guy Fawkes' actual goals.
Instagramming your pumpkin spice latte.
Internal logical consistency.
Internet addiction.
Joey "Eat Me" Donner.
Joss Whedon one-liners.
Just wanting to be the very best, like no one ever was.
Just wanting to be the very best, like no one ever was.
Kermit the Frog memes.

Lack of adhesive ducks.
Land's sweet 'stache.
LARPing in a basement, again.
Learning how long a kilometer is.

Learning how long a kilometer is.
Learning to swear in Mandarin Chinese.
Leaving two blue mana untapped just to fuck with your opponent.
Legless Lego Legolas' Lego lass.
Lens flare.
Letting your geek flag fly.
Liquid Schwartz.
Literally biting your tongue to keep yourself from revealing spoilers.
Literally using the word literally in literally every sentence.
Little nerd boys named Logan.
Live tweeting this dumb ass conversation.
Living full time as a werewolf.
Lonely nerds who hate feminism.
Luigi's death stare.
MacGyver's timeless mullet.
Make it so.
Making it weird.
Marchtember Oneteenth.
Mary Poppings, y'all.
Mass times acceleration.
Maximum effort.
Men yelling indistinctly.
Mercury fulminate.
Microtransactions and the people who pay them.
Midi-f**king-chlorians.
Min/Maxing.
Mispronouncing a word because you've only ever read it and never heard it said out loud.
Missing the point entirely.
Mister Doctor.
Modern interpretations of Shakespeare's plays.
Moisture farmers.
Moool-ti-pass.
More Harley Quinns than you can count.
More Harley Quinns than you can count.
Movies that are so bad they go right past good and into bad again.
MRA horror.
MRA horror.
Mudder's Milk.
Multiple pairs of goggles.
mv2
My authentic Klingon Bat'leth.
My authentic Klingon Bat'leth.
My cats' undivided attention.
My crippling anxiety disorder.
My days of not taking you seriously.
My dead mother Martha.
My everlasting love for Jillian Holtzmann.
My everlasting love for Jillian Holtzmann.
My mind palace.
My mind palace.
My Precious.
My pretty floral bonnet.
My ruined childhood.
My ruined childhood.
My second place chess trophy.
My strong desire to not change out of pajamas in the morning.
My very favorite gun.
My wayward son.
My weird and feminine limbs.
Nasty, thieving Hobbitses.
Nathan Fillion's Twitter feed.
NERD RAGE!!!
Netflix pausing mid-binge-watch, just to check if you're still awake/alive.
Network connectivity problems.
Network Protocols
Never give up. Never surrender.
Never without my permission
Nicholas Cage's face.
Nikola Tesla's intense love for a pigeon.
No capes!
None pizza with left beef.
Not a good enough reason to use the word "penetrate".
Not being shocked by the Red Wedding.
Not seeing the irony in using the word "marathon" for watching a lot of television.
Not the bees! Not the bees!
NPCs that only exist to tell the party where to go.
Old Glory Robot Insurance: for when the metal ones come for you.
Old Glory Robot Insurance: for when the metal ones come for you.
One "It's Not Unusual."
One horse-sized duck.
One hundred duck-sized horses.
One million likes on Facebook.
One-star reviews of Bram Stoker's Dracula.
Our parents' imperfect understanding of technology.
Paint-covered overalls.
Papyrus, or Comic Sans, or both.
Particle Man.
Passing the Turing Test.
Passing the Turing Test.
Patrick Stewart's twitter feed.
Peace in our time.
Peeling off the plastic.
People never saying "Goodbye" on the phone on TV.
People who are intolerant of other people's cultures.
People who are obsessed with Frozen and really need to just Let It Go.
People who call HTML a "programming language".
People who refer to their favorite sports team with words like "we" and "us".
People who refer to their favorite sports team with words like "we" and "us".
People who still have an active AOL email address.
People who still have an active MySpace account.
People who still spell out "http://www." when telling you about a website.
People who think The Onion is a legitimate news organization.
People who walk out of the theater before the credits are over.
Percussive maintenance.
Picard's Barber.
Picking up a lightsaber and just winging it.
Pining for the fjords.
Pizza the Hutt.
Planet Loser.
Playing chess without a board, or pieces.
Playing chess without a board, or pieces.
Playing Fallout in an actual fallout shelter.
Playing Frisbee like the Winter Soldier.
Playing the Macarena on an ocarina.
Playing video games with the windows open, because it's a nice day.
Plot holes you could drive a truck through.
Pon farr.
Preferring the Weird Al version of most songs.
Prepackaged non-conformity.
Pretending apple picking is fun.
Pretending you care what a first round draft pick is.
Pretending you know something about sports.
Princess Leia's boob tape.
Privacy Settings.
Proving you're the good guys by sending strangers death threats.
Pushing your glasses up your nose while correcting someone.
Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.
Putting some tape over the "Death" button.
Putting your hood up and pretending you're a Jedi.
Puzzlement that borders on alarm.
Qualities that other humans find desirable in a sexual partner.
Quasi-futuristic clothing.
Quentin Tarantino's creepy obsession with feet.
Reading out loud from a Necronomicon.
Realizing Doc from Fraggle Rock is the guy with Tourette syndrome in Boondock Saints.
Realizing Doc from Fraggle Rock is the guy with Tourette syndrome in Boondock Saints.
Realizing that every episode of Star Trek: TNG is just a bunch of committee meetings.
Realizing that Facebook, IM, and texting are your new definition of "human contact".
Realizing the Ms. Pac-Man might just be Pac-Man in drag.
Reasons.
Reciting the Litany Against Fear to psych yourself up.
Referring to oneself as "oneself".
Refusing to watch a movie after Neil deGrasse Tyson has ripped it to pieces.
Reluctantly handing your glasses over to yet another asshole who "just wants to try them on".
Remembering the 5th of November.
Remembering the fifth of November.
Remembering when there were only 151 Pokemon.
Resenting "The Big Bang Theory".
Riding eternal, shiny and chrome.
Riding eternal, shiny and chrome.
Rob Liefeld's inability to draw -feet- people.
Rob Liefeld's inability to draw feet/people.
Robots full of blue stuff.
Rock/Paper/Scissors.
Running away to Mars because you're sad.
Running in heels.
Running outside to catch the pretty white flakes on my tongue.
Sad devotion to an ancient religion.
Salting your doors and windows, just in case.
Sanctimonious Mac Users.
Saying your ferret is an "emotional support animal" so you can bring it into WalMart.
Serra Angel's titillating cleavage.
Seven "What's New Pussycat?"s in a row.
Sexy green aliens.
Sharkboy and Lavagirl.
Sharks with friggin' laser beams attached to their heads.
Shrugging off a crippling spinal injury through sheer force of will.
Six seasons and a movie.
Snape, Snape, Severus Snape.
Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
Solving for x.
Some badass archery.
Some kind of thermal oscillator.
Something that can fit on a single 3.5" floppy disc.
Sons of Adam and Daughters of Eve.
Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money.
Spam, Spam, Spam, Spam, baked beans, Spam, Spam, Spam, and Spam.
Spocks's brain.
Stalking celebrities via Twitter.
Stan Lee's love of alliteration.
Stop motion animation.
Strange women lying in ponds distributing swords.
Subreddits.
Suddenly needing to know the plural of "apocalypse".
Surrounding yourself with as many glowing screens as humanly possible.
Symbology.
Synthehol.
Tactically ill-conceived lightsabers.
Taking it back.
Tapping dat artifact.
Telling the barista your name is Primrose Everdeen.
Telling the villain you're onto them, and then expecting nothing bad to happen to you.
Ten chapters about Hobbits.
Ten points for Gryffindor!
Terrifying space monkeys.
That awkward moment.
That guy's leg.
That ludicrous display last night.
That moment when a character on TV pulls out a Microsoft Surface Tablet.
That one old dude in karate movies who can kick everyone’s ass.
That one wall in my apartment that I have to keep painting with human blood.
That pushy Microsoft Word paperclip.
That time everyone thought you were the Heir of Slytherin.
The "upgrade" that slows your system to a crawl.
The 4h fattest town in the U.S.
The absolute bare minimum of physical exercise.
The agonizing inner turmoil of a white billionaire superhero.
The airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.
The Alien Hidden In The Incubator.
The Amazon reviews for the vibrating Harry Potter Nimbus 2000 Broomstick.
The American Dodgeball Association of America.
The American Dodgeball Association of America.
The babe with the power.
The Beforetimes, in the Long, Long Ago.
The biggest, blackest hole.
The blue canary in the outlet by the light switch.
The blue screen of death.
The bright side of life.
The Cantina Band
The Chain of Command.
The character you hate to love.
The character you love to hate.
The cheerleader who saves the world.
The Christmas episode.
The clumsy girl who is irresistible to billionaires and/or vampires.
The commentary track.
The comments section.
The completely plausible existence of multiple desert planets in one universe.
The Cones of Dunshire.
The contractors on the second Death Star.
The crappy town where I'm the hero.
The Cumberbitches.
The Danger Zone!
The darkest timeline.
The delicious irony of filling your DVR with episodes of Hoarding: Buried Alive.
The Diet Coke of evil.
The district attorneys who prosecute the offenders.
The Diva Plavalaguna.
The Doom Song.
The Dorothy Everytime Smurf Girl Trophy for Excellence in Female Stuff.
The droids you're looking for.
The ear-piercing screech of a dial-up connection.
The entire series on DVD.
The entire Tri-State Area.
The epitome of hyperbole.
The evacuation of Earth-That-Was.
The evil you from an alternate universe.
The Expanded Universe.
The fake English accents used at Renaissance Faires.
The fake swears shoehorned into R-rated movies when they're shown on basic cable.
The fine line between fandom and life-destroying obsession.
The Fing-Longer.
The five Ds of dodgeball.
The Five Point Palm Exploding Technique.
The fives Ds of dodgeball.
The food that my food eats.
The frankly ridiculous number of superheroes living in New York City.
The funny wheels on that penny-farthing.
The gatekeeper.
The genetic lineage of stormtroopers.
The greater good.
The greatest botanist on Mars.
The greatest botanist on Mars.
The Green Place.
The Green Place.
The Hashtag Wars.
The Hawkeye initiative.
The Hoary Hosts of Hoggoth.
The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch.
The horrifying filth that gets into your keyboard.
The horse is a surprise.
The inevitable hilarious cameo from Stan Lee.
The Internet's unhealthy obsession with cats.
The Jedi Code.
The Kessel Run.
The keymaster.
The linden tree's sweet distinctive scent.
The machine that goes "ping!"
The memes.
The messy outdoors, with all of its bugs and sunlight.
The most real, authentic, hysterical laugh of my entire life.
The movie we all want to see: Jurassic Parks and Recreation.
The mysterious ticking noise.
The mystery crank.
The myth of the fake geek girl.
The nearest convenient parallel dimension.
The nearest convenient parallel dimension.
The new n-word.
The No Homers Club.
The only female character in the entire story.
The ordinary guy who turns out to be "The Chosen One".
The physical suffering we endure for cosplay.
The poison. The poison for Kuzco, the poison chosen especially to kill Kuzco, Kuzco's poison.
The police who invstigate crime.
The popular notion that all geniuses have autism.
The quadratic equation.
The questionable hairstyles of Babylon 5.
The RC helicopter kiosk at the mall.
The rebellious clone.
The remarkable number of red-haired women in comic books.
The RSS Boaty McBoatface.
The Salt and Pepper Diner.
The same thing we do every night, try to take over the world.
The scene after the credits.
The scene in the middle of the credits.
The singularity.
The skill and patience required to paint miniatures.
The song of my people.
The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
The special features.
The spinning beach ball.
The statute of limitations on spoilers.
The Stone of Shame.
The Stone of Triumph.
The things I say during Mario Kart.
The Throne of Games.
The toxic, plastic smell of burning Vader.
The unwashed miscreants that go to that school.
The vast, yawning emptiness of space.
The velociraptor whisperer.
The violence inherent in the system.
The virtual parade of characters who have been in the Batcave.
The Watcher.
The way Commander Riker gets into chairs.
The way everything just has a little more authority with an English accent.
The way glasses make you look smart instead of blind.
The way people swipe their credit cards in commercials.
The Wilhelm scream.
The woefully lax security at Arkham Asylum.
The World's Tiniest Hat.
The Yub Nub Song.
These monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane.
These salty parabolas.
These salty parabolas.
Thinly veiled metaphors.
This beard, this big, Victorian beard.
Those glasses, and that ponytail.
Time in a bottle.
To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.
To protect the world from devastation.
To protect the world from devastation.
Too many Spider-Men.
Too many villains in the sequel.
Trading on cheap nostalgia.
Traveling in single file to hide your numbers.
Traveling to an alternate universe and finding out you were the evil one all along.
Triangle Man.
Troll the respawn, Jeremy.
Trying for the Harry Potter look and landing quarely on John Lennon.
Trying to break free from Comcast.
Trying to catch 'em all.
Trying to catch 'em all.
Trying to eat like a human while wearing a corset.
Trying to explain your LARP weekend to your coworkers.
Trying to find your glasses while blind from lack of glasses.
Trying to get @midnight to notice your tweets.
Trying to get a friend hooked on a TV show so you can talk to someone about it.
Turning SafeSearch off.
Twelve percent of the credit.
Twincest.
Two ex-wives named Tammy.
Two tons of irony.
Two tons of irony.
Unconvincing stunt doubles.
Understanding the reference.
Unfinished business.
Using an instagram filter to make your good, expensive camera look like a cheap piece of shit.
Using any reference to "The One Ring" in a romantic way.
Utini!
Villains in plastic prisons.
Vogon poetry.
Volts divided by amps.
Volunteering as Tribute.
Waif fu.
Waiting for the next series of Sherlock.
Waiting for the next Song of Ice and Fire book.
Waiting for your Hogwarts acceptance letter.
Walking into traffic to catch a rare Pokeé mon.
Walking into traffic to catch a rare Pokeé mon.
When another movie studio tries to copy Marvel's success.
When Fox cancels your favorite show.
When George R.R. Martin talks about writing anything other than the next Song of Ice and Fire book.
When people refer to Game of Thrones or Lord of the Rings as "back then".
When the cat steals your dice, again.
When the Fire Nation attacked.
When the movie is nothing like the book.
When you find a stranger in the Alps.
When your favorite show kills off your favorite character.
When your robots get all existential on you.
Whether or not the flaw in the Death Star's design was deliberate.
White girls who know all the words to Salt N' Pepa's "Shoop".
White Wolf's Noun: The Verbing.
Wishing ESPN8 "The Ocho" was real.
Wishing goblins would kidnap your baby brother.
Wizard Swears.
Yelling at the screen because that's not how it happened in the book.
You son of a motherless goat.
Young Earth Creationists.
Your cunningly concealed herd of cows.
Your dim, uncomprehending eyes.
Your first one-night stand at Comic-Con.
Your magic pixie drink.
Your OTP.
Your OTP.
Your pelvic sorcery.
Your sudden but inevitable betryal.
Zoom and enhance.
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Cards Against Cybertron
https://archiveofourown.org/works/10085459/chapters/22474085
A Transformers themed set created by Redditor EllaCandy
____ + ____ = ____.

____ getting gang banged by ____.
____ is a slippery slope that leads to ____.
____ is solely responsible for the destruction of ____.
____ is why we can’t have nice things.
____ lands a mech in prison. ____ makes a mech an honorary Autobot.
____: good to the last drop.
____: Sparkling tested, carrier approved.
____. Betcha can’t have just one!

____. It’s a trap!
____. That’s how I want to deactivate.

“____. This is why I hate machines.”
A new poem from Megatron of Tarn: An ode to ____.
After the war, how will we pay for goods and services?
Alternative medicine is now embracing the curative power of ____.
Autobot guidelines now prohibit ____ on the Ark.
Breaking News: ____ is poised to destroy life as we know it!
But before I kill you, Prime, I must show you ____.
Dear Rung, I’m having trouble with ____ and would like your advice.
During interface, I like to think about ____.

For my next trick, I will pull ____ out of ____.
How am I maintaining my relationship status?

How did I break my seal?
How do we discipline our badly behaved recruits in the Decepticon Army?
I drink to forget ____.
I get by with a little help from ____.
I got 1337 problems, but ____ ain’t one.
I never truly understood ____ until I encountered ____.

I swear to Primus, if you don’t stop, I will beat you with ____.
I will not accept your apology until I receive ____.
If it wasn’t for ____, we’d have a whole lot more ____.
In a universe ravaged by ____, our only solace is ____.
In Styx Prison, word is you can trade 200 rust sticks for ____.
Insecticons have 50% less interface when exposed to ____.
Instead of eternity in the Pit, Unicron now punishes mechs with ____.
Introducing the amazing commander/SIC duo! It’s ____ and ____!
Introducing Xtreme Warfare! It’s like warfare, but with ____!
It’s a pity that younglings these days are all getting involved with ____.
Life for the Autobots was forever changed when the Decepticons introduced them to ____.
Make a haiku.
Megatron has fallen! I, ____, am now your leader.
Optimus, why is Megatron crying?

Step 1: ____.
Step 2: ____.
Step 3: Profit.
That’s right, I killed ____. How, you ask? ____.
The Cybertron National Art Museum just opened an interactive exhibit on ____.
The Iaconian government funneled millions of shanix of research into ____.

The mission was completely ruined by ____.
The new Nemesis. With the power and space to take ____ everywhere you go.
The revenge of the Fallen is ____.
The road to victory is paved with ____.
The Senate has discovered that ____ was really ____ all along.
There is no logical reason to want ____.
They said we couldn’t put ____ inside of ____. They were wrong!
This is the way the world ends – not with a bang but with a ____.
Tonight on Dr. Rung: “Help! My cassette is ____.”
Tonight only at Maccadams Old Oil House: ____ and ____.
Vehicons like ____.
War! What is it good for?
We’re entering the Age of ____.
What are my carriers hiding from me?
What did I bring back from Monacus?
What did Megatron destroy today?
What do 3 out of 5 medics recommend?
What do I look for in a conjunx eterna?
What don’t you want to find in your high-grade?
What ended my last relationship?
What got me put on The List?
What helps Optimus Prime unwind?
What is my most powerful weapon?
What is Phase Eight?

What is Soundwave’s guilty pleasure?
What is the vice I refuse to give up?

What is the worst possible cause of deactivation?
What makes me backfire uncontrollably?
What will I bring back in time to convince mechkind that I am the rightful Magnus?
What would Prowl find disturbing, yet oddly charming?
What’s a femme’s best friend?
What’s a foolproof way to get a femme into your berth?
What’s being used to inspire the Autobot Academy students to succeed?
What’s that sound?
What’s there a ton of in the Pit?
What’s Ultra Magnus thinking about right now?
When asked for oral interface, try surprising your partner with ____ instead!
When Cybertron was in ruins, Optimus Prime prayed for ____.
When I am the Ruler of Cybertron, I will create the Council of ____.
When I lead the Autobots, I will erect a 50-foot statue in honor of ____.
When I was high on rubies, ____ turned into ____.
Why am I covered in transfluid?

Why am I missing an optic?
Why can’t I recharge in peace?
Why do I hate ____? That’s easy. ____.
Why does my aft hurt?
“Batteries not included.”

110% valve capacity.
15 million deactivated Autobots.
37 Vehicons.
50,000 volts straight to the array.
5T3V3.
A 15% reduction in speed.
A barrel of diesel-based hooch.
A big bag of T-Cogs.
A blowjob from Megatron.
A cortical psychic patch.
A dead MTO.
A first-printing edition of Towards Peace.
A fully charged fusion cannon.
A gentle caress of the interface panel.
A malfunctioning groundbridge.
A mech on the brink of overload.
A mechanimal in the berthroom.
A mindless, spike-hungry pleasure drone.
A mission into uncharted space.
A ninjabot.
A petrorabbit smoking a cygar.
A Polyhexian orgy.
A private commlink frequency.
A really cool mod.
A really nasty virus.
A really, really big gun.
A scraplet infestation.
A shock baton up my valve.
A spacebridge explosion.
A sparkeater.
A steamy affair with a Senator.
A techno-organic.
A thermonuclear detonation.
A thing with three heads that keeps insisting it has no head.
A time travel paradox.
A used transport sales-mech.
A valve overload.
A variable voltage harness.
A weak energon spritzer.
Aft port interface.
All five Dinobots at once.
Alpha Trion’s erectile dysfunction.
Alt-mode fetishists.
Altmode exemptions.
Amicae with benefits.
An aft-helmed spawn of a glitch.
An Autobot Insignia.
An endless stream of data.
An expert in Metallicato.
Article 32-68C of the Autobot Code.
As The Kitchen Sinks.
Autobot Special Ops.
Backfiring and walking away.
Battlefield amputations.
Becoming an honorary Autobot.
Being fragged by a combiner.
Being melted down into irradiated slag.
Bingeing and purging.
Blitzwing’s fourth personality.
Bob.
Buckethead.
Cannon fodder.
Cards Against Cybertron.
Chainsaws for servos.
Chief Justice Tyrest.
Chilly interface with a refrigeration unit.
Chunks of dead Predacon.
Consensual interface.
Cosmetic chassis reduction.
Court-ordered rehabilitation.
Crippling debt.
Cuddling.
Cybertron.
Dark and mysterious forces beyond our control.
Dark energon.
Deactivated sparklings.
Deactivating the last known NAIL.
Death by Traitor’s Wheel.
Destroying the evidence.
Diverting all power to the primary thrusters.
Doing the right thing.
Dormant slave coding.
Drinking alone.
Driving off into the sunset.
Earth.
Eating out Megatron’s valve.
Eight billion organic corpses rotting in the light of a binary sun.
Electric shock therapy.
Emotions.
EMP grenades.
Energon goodies.
Energon mining.
Erotically inhaling bees.
Exactly what you’d expect.
Explosions.
Fear itself.
Four million shanix in ill-gotten gains.
Four million years of sexually motivated civil war.
Frag toys made by Wheeljack.
Fragging Optimus Prime in exchange for a promotion.
Friction.
Friendly fire.
Functionism.
Galactic domination.
Galvatron, the Barbarian King.
Getting Star Sabered.
Going into combat while high as frag.

Half a dozen energon cubes.
Hope.
Horrifying laser scalpel accidents.
Human germs.
Hysterical cassettes.
Interfacing in a cave.
Interfacing with a turbofox.
Interfacing with the enemy.
Invading the city of Iacon.
Jacking into a generator.
K-Con Recruitment Office.
Land mines.
Large-chested femmes.
Leadership of a Mortilus death cult.
Leakers huffing coolant fumes behind a dumpster in Rodion.
Lubricant.
Magnets.
Megatron’s love poetry.
Militant Monoform Movement.
Misfire.
Mutually-assured destruction.
My collection of high-tech frag toys.
My current relationship.
My interface array.
My Lord High Protector programming.
My poor life choices.
My protoform.
My spark.
Necrophilia.
Nightmare fuel.
Not giving two scraps about Rodion.
One Pit of a recharge fantasy.
One trillion shanix.
Optimus Prime uncontrollably guzzling lubricants.
Optimus Prime’s martyr complex.
Organic hunting trophies.
Orion Pax.
Overcharged Constructicons taking shots of high-grade.
Overcharged seekers.
Overcompensation.
Passive-aggressive holovids.
Peace through tyranny.
Police brutality.
Premature deactivation.
Primus on a unicycle.
Prowl’s glitch tactical processor.
Prowl’s sexy, sexy doorwings.
Psychoanalysis of my oversized weaponry.
Public ridicule.
Pulling Megatron’s trigger.
Quintessons.
Robots in Disguise.
Running out of hot solvent AGAIN.
Running out of transfluid.
Saying “I love you.”
Science.
Self-loathing.
Self-service.
Sentinel Prime’s chin.
Shapeism.
Shiny objects.
Shockwave’s latest invention.

Sideswipe & Sunstreaker.
Sixteen orns in the brig.
Some Primus-damned peace and quiet.
Soundwave fendered out of his mind on circuit boosters.
Spike Envy.
Spontaneous combustion.
Starscream.
Staying online during mission briefings.
Stealing a Warworld.
Strawberry-scented rust repellant.
Suggestively located biolights.
Surveillance footage of Tarn fragging an Autobot.
Swearing like a warbuild.
Synthetic energon poisoning.
Taking volunteers.
Tarn wearing an Autobot mask.
Tarn’s voice.
Teaching a drone to love.
Ten Ammonite prostitutes.
Ten terabytes of Lithonian porn.
That new car smell.
The anterior node.
The art of seduction.
The Big Bang.
The Bitflu.
The caste system.
The Covenant of Primus.
The Decepticon Army.
The DJD.
The duties of a conjunx.
The fluid in my lines.
The Galactic Council’s stupid hats.
The Golden Age.
The Hardworking Kaonian.
The Iaconian Spacebridge Repair Crews Union.
The inevitable heat death of the universe.
The Magnus Hammer.
The Matrix of Leadership.
The medic’s hands.
The Original Thirteen.
The Pits of Kaon.
The reason I hate femmes.
The reason the Slagmaker drinks.
The revenge of the Fallen.
The third moon of Caminus.
The use of stasis cuffs during interface.
The valve of Solus Prime.
The violation of our most basic mechanoid rights.
The Well of All Sparks.
The Wreckers.
Three spikes at the same time.
Thunderwing’s Pretender Shell.
Tox-En.
Trypticon Prison.
Two minibots purging in a bucket.
Unexpected and inopportune heat cycles.
Unfathomable stupidity.
Unicron himself.
Unicron’s left ball bearing.
Unresolved sexual tension.
Vector Sigma.
Vosnians.
Vulgar comments about Knockout’s scratched finish.
War without end.
Will It Blend?
Zombie terrorcons.
Cards Against Librarianship
https://shelfcheck.blogspot.com/2014/01/cards-against-librarianship-lets-play.html
A librarian themed set created by Emily Lloyd
_________ @ your library.

_________ is/are fundamental.
_________: finger-lickin' good.
_________: overrated.
_________: the perfect holiday gift for your library colleagues.

90% of frontline library staff's work days go to showing patrons how to cut and paste in
Word. 90% of behind-the-scenes library staff's work days go to _________.
A good reference interview should always include _________.
A recent Pew report found that communities value their libraries as much for access to
_________ as for access to books.
AASL, ASLC, ACRL, LITA, RUSA, et al., are great and all, but it's high time for the ALA to add
a division devoted to _________.
As circulation of print books fails, libraries will remove dusty shleving units to make room
for more _________.
Bulky, intimidating reference desks must go. In the future, nothing will stand between
librarians and their patrons but _________.
Can you help me? I'm writing a paper comparing _________ with _________, and I don't know
why I can't find any journal articles about this.
Children left unattended in the library will be given an espresso and _________.
Congrats on your 20th anniversary as a dedicated employee of this library. In appreciation
of all your hard work, please accept _________.
Daddy, why is that librarian crying?
Don't become a librarian because you "love books." Become a librarian because you love
_________.
Every library has that one patron who just loves to corner librarians into unwanted
conversations about _________.
From what must we save" libraries?

I read forty-seven books this summer! What's my reward?
I'm afraid I have to ask you to leave. The library's scent policy expressly prohibits _________.
If it weren't for the frequent, repeated exposure to _________, I'd love this job.
If our branch manager doesn't stop including _________ at all of our staff meetings, I'm going
to scream.
In a surprise rebranding effort, NYPL is replacing its iconic lion statues with statues of
_________.
In a world ravaged by _________, our only solace is _________.
In library school, I wish I'd known that so much of my work day would actually be devoted
to _________.
In this profession, the importance of _________ cannot be overstated.
In today's competitive library job market, it really helps to have experience with _________
listed on your resumeé .
It took three work group meetings, two presentations to the subcommittee, and four
subcommittee meetings, but we've finally drafted a set of best practices around _________.
It would behoove all libraries to keep _________ behind the ref desk in case of emergency.
It's important to foster an atmosphere of ________.
It's just not story time without _________.
Job perks? Please. Library job perks are pretty much limited to _________.
Just finished my annual self-evaluation, and I gotta say, I'm really pleased with the
progress I made this year with _________.
Librarians Against _________.
Librarians are five times more likely that the general population to become addicted to
_________.
Librarians are signing up in droves for Coursera's new MOOC, Fundamentals of _________.
Libraries will get you through times of no _________ better than ______ will get you through
times of no libraries.
Milk and cookies. Peanut butter and jelly. Ginger and Fred. Librarians and _________.
My most popular story time themes are "On the Farm" and "_________."
New to the DSM-5: a previoulsy unclassified disorder characterized by a fevered obsession
with _________.
Next from J.K. Rowling: Harry Potter and the Chamber of _________.
Oh, great. Someone stuffed the book drop with _________.
Our community has a celebrated history of _________.
Patron tip: with your library card, you have 24/7 remote access to _________.
Raise a reader! Make sure that _________ is/are available to your child in every room of the
house.
Sessions are live-tweeted; slides are post on-line. But attending conferences in person
remains valuable for the opportunity to enjoy _________ with one's peers.
Since flashing the lights and making an announcement weren't working, we've switched to
_________ encourage patrons to leave the building at closing time.
Since their earliest beginnings, public libraries have provided a safe haven for _________.
Stop using _________ as a weapon.
The Internet's down. I guess we'll have to resort to _________.
The library isn't about _________; it's about _________.
The library's new Play & Learn Space offers early-literacy-rich opportunities for little ones
to interact with _________.
The new Nicholas Sparks book features a heterosexual white couple passionately engaged
with _________ on the cover.
The number one way to calm down an angry patron?
There's a special circle in Library Hell for _________.
This year, our library participated in Hour of Code. Next year, we'll participate in Hour of
_________.
This year, our most successful intergenerational programs were Wii Bowling Night and
_________ Night.
Trends and formats come and go, but _________ will always be core to the mission of
libraries.
Unbelievable. Is it really too much to ask that parents and caregivers refrain from _________
during story time?
We firmly believe that in order to succeed in the 21st century, all children must have equal
access to _________.
Well, who knew you could get fired for offering a patron _________?
What never fails to liven up a staff party?
What's a librarian's best friend?
What's our library director's guilty pleasure?
What's that smell?
When it comes to _________, we need to start doing more with less.
Whew! Close call: I was about to accept a position with that library, then I saw that their
Employee Code of Conduct prohibits _________.
While facilitating access to information is libraries' first priority, _________ must be a close
second.
Wikipedia can tell you all about _________, but our staff can show you in person.
Wow! Our Pinterest followers really "heart" the library's new _________-themed Pinterest
board!
Youth Services librarians agree: it's never too early to introduce your baby to _________.
$10 handjobs in the romance aisle.

40 years' worth of mouldering National Geographics.
52 bags of Reader's Digest Condensed Books.
A can of whoop-ass.
A cappella.
A full performance of the "Trololo" song.
A good, hard slap.
A life-size cutout of Nathan Fillion as Mal from Firefly.
A rousing rendition of "The Wheels on the Bus."
A tour group of first graders.
A unicorn.
A water bottle full of yellow liquid.
ABC gum.
Acronyms.
Air guitar.
Amateur dentistry.
Ambien.
American Girl® dolls.
Anal beads.
Ann Coulter.
Annotated bibliographies.
Antibacterial wipes.
Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret.
Assholes.
Assisted suicide.
Autoerotic asphyxiation with a library-branded lanyard.
Awkward silence.
B-list celebrities.
Baby sloths.
Back issues of Maxim.
Bacon.
Bagpipes.
Barbie. On a horse.
Bed bugs.
Bellybutton lint removal.
Birds of prey.
Blogging anonymously.
Bong hits.
Book lists that haven't been updated in fifteen years.
Brazilian waxes.
Breath mints.
Camel toe.
Canoodling.
Capris for men.
Caramelized onions.
Castration.
Cat videos.
Catalogers.
Catheterization.
Checking out Mozart while doing Tae Bo.
Chips and salsa.
Christopher Walken.
Chuck Norris.
Civil War re-enactors.
Cleaning up patron vomit.
Clinical depression.
Clipping all the coupons from the library's newspapers and magazines.
Clogged public toilets.
Collecting footage for When Patrons Attack.
Colorful scarves.
Committees.
Community Engagement.
Complacency.
Compulsory Myer-Briggs testing.
Concerned taxpayers.
Condoms.
Constant change.
Constructive criticism.
Contempt.
Controlled vocabulary.
Corporal punishment.
Correctly pronouncing "GIF."

Cozy mysteries.
Crop dusting the stacks.
Crumbs and mystery bits from the public-use keyboards.
Crushing defeat.
Deflowering members of the Teen Anime Club during a Miyazaki marathon.
Delusions of grandeur.
Dental floss.
Deodorant.
Devices that are incomparable with the library's ebooks.
Dick pics.
Digital badges.
Dino porn.
Disco.
Diversity training.
DIY butchering.
Doing the "Time Warp."
Dora the Explorer.
Downton Abbey spoilers.
Dr. Scholl's Massaging Gel™ Insoles.
Dr. Who cosplay.
DRM.
Duct tape.
Dust bunnies.
e-cigarettes.
e-Mailing the meeting agenda and then printing out copies for everyone anyway.
Edible underpants.
Elderly volunteers.
Elemental powers.
Emotional baggage.
Empty promises.
Empty toner cartridges.
Enemas.
Ennui.
Evil.
Excel spreadsheets.
Exorcisms.
Extra cheese.
Eye contact.
Fax machines.
Feats of strength.
Finger puppets.
Fitbits®.
Flash mobs.
Flinging poop.
Floppy disks.
Flying monkeys.
Folks who wear pajamas in public.
Forced fun.
Friends of the Library with Benefits.
Gay weddings.
Genital piercing.
Germs.
Getting some.
Glitter.
Gluten-free goodies.
Going into detail about lactose intolerance.
Gold lameé short shorts.
Golf pencils.
Gollum.
Goo Gone®.
Google.
Government documents.
Greek yogurt.
Groupies.
Grumpy Cat.
Gummy bears kept warm in a pocket.
Guns printed with the library's MakerBot®.
Haggis.
Half-assed attempts at gamification.
Hammer pants.
Handcuffs.
Happy ending massages.
Hare Krishnas.
Harry Potter slash.
Hazmat.
Helping people apply for health insurance.
High-fructose corn syrup.
Holiday-themed sweater vests.
Holocaust fiction.
Hush money.
Hygiene.
Imaginary friends.
Inappropriate fondling of the Orlando Bloom READ poster.
Incident reports.
Industrial-strength cleaning supplies.
Inspirational quotes.
Interpretive dance.
Irrelevance.
Issuing prophecies.
James Patterson's "co-authors."
Jazz hands.
Jeff Bezos.
K-Y® Warming Jelly.
Kale.
Keeping up appearances.
Kegels.
Knitting.
Kombucha.
Lap dances.
LARPing.
Last year's shiny gadgets.
Laxatives.
Lean Cuisine®.
LEGO®.
LeVar Burton.
Library administrators.
Library security guards.
Library-themed socks.
Lip service.
Listserv drama.
Literary tattoos.
LJ Movers & Shakers.
Local gang activity.
Lying down and giving up.
Magic: The Gathering cards.
Malcolm Gladwell.
MARC records.
Marcel, the Shell with Shoes On.
McLovin'.
McRibs.
Mentoring.
Metadata.
Meth.
Microfiche.
Mixing up a batch of library-themed cocktails.
Mojitos.
Molotov cocktails.
Molting.
Mommy porn.
Multiple orgasms.
Muscle relaxers.
Mustiness.
My cock.
Nancy Pearl.
Neil Gaiman, holding a tray of crumpets.
Neti pots.
Networking.
New Adult fiction.
Newbery books that only appeal to adults.
Nipple clamps.
Noriyuki "Pat" Morita.
Not giving a shit about the digital divide.
Nutella.
Obscene hand gestures.
Opening up a racino in the meeting room and racing toddlers.
Oprah books.
Ornamental grass.
Pain.
Panhandling.
Paper cuts.
Paper jams.
Paper plate crafts.
Paradigm shifts.
Paranoia.
Paranormal activity.
Passive-aggressive library signage.
Patrons.
PEEPS® dioramas.
Peer review.
Penetration.
People that don't have anywhere else to be right now.
Pepper spray.
Personal branding.
Pinning wedding ideas.
Placing booty calls with the library's courtesy phone.
Plaing JENGA® with those impossibly-small Beatrix Potter books.
Planned obsolesence.
Playing footsie.
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.
Pre-owned earbuds.
Prezis.
Primal Scream Therapy.
Princess books, but only if the princesses are white and from Disney.
Printed-out Power Point slides.
Proclamations of the death of libraries.
Public art.
Public masturbation.
Pulling trains.
QR codes.
Quiet desperation.
Raffi.
Random acts of violence.
Ranting.
Re-usable canvas bags bearing the names of conferences.
Reading library books in the bathroom.
Red tape.
Regret.
Relationship advice.
Revenge served cold.
Ribbons for "participation."
Rimming.
Ritalin.
Ritual sacrifice.
Riverdancing.
Robotic arms.
Rock, paper, scissors.
Rodents of Unusual Size.
Roofies.
Roombas.
Salman Rushdie.
Salon style at an affordable price.
Scented tampons.
Scrapbooking.
Seducing the Library Board two members at a time.
Selfies.
Sesame chicken.
Seven Minutes in Heaven.
Sex offenders.
Sex toys printed with the library's MakerBot®.
Sexting.
Shake Weights.
Shattered dreams.
Shitty Wi-Fi.
Shock and Awe.
Shushing.
Side eye.
Siegfriend and Roy.
Siri.
Sleestaks.
Slow clapping.
Slow death.
Smug homeschooling parents.
Snakes.
Snapping into a Slim Jim®.
Sniffing Sharpies®.
Snuff films shot and edited in the library's "Fab Lab."
Sobbing quietly whiler learning to code.
Spanx.
Speaking in Parseltongue.
Speed dialing the help desk.
Sponge baths.
Spores, molds, and fungus.
Spray tans.
Sriracha.
Stakeholders.
Storytime MILFs.
Strains of unknown provenance.
Street Lit.
Sucking and chewing on board books.
Suggestively squeezing a vendor-branded stress ball.
Surveillance.
Sushi.
Suspicious white powder.
Sweatin' to the Oldies.
Tangled cords.
Tasers.
Tax form origami.
Tchotchkes from Oriental Trading Company.
Team0building exercises.
Tearing off the glasses and shaking out the bun.
Tech support.
TED Talks.
Teen librarians with brightly-dyed hair and facial piercings.
Territorial pissing.
The Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation.
The Eensy-Weensy Spider.
The Gospel.
The Heimlich maneuver.
The homeless.
The Jolie-Pitts.
The OPAC.
The opportunity to walk away like none of this ever happened.
The Puckish ghost of Maurice Sendak.
The Secret.
The Village People.
Thinly-veield threats.
Thug Life.
Toe sucking.
Twerking.
Ukuleles.
Unambitious science projects.
Undue enthusiasm for Jane Austen.
Unemployment.
Unflattering haircuts.
Unlabeled items from the staff fridge.
Using pages from Value Line as rolling papers.
Using tongue.
V.C. Andrews.
Value Line.
Vaseline®.
Vodka.
Voguing.
Wadded-up, used-looking tissues.
Waterboarding.
Wayfaring strangers.
Whatever's trending on Twitter at the particular moment.
Whining.
White privilege.
Wikipedia.
Wind sprints.
Yanni.
Yellowing reference books.
Your mom.
Your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
Fandoms Against Humanity
A fan-made expansion that is themed for different fandoms. The cards came from a
Tumblr blog by the same name that no longer exists.
Editor Note: The Fandom Against Humanity cards in the blog included annotations on the
cards for which fandoms the cards came from. That information is presented in the
Comments column for those that wish to have it.
_________ + _________ = _________

_________ is a horrible high school flashback.
_________ is a man's best friend.
_________ is found within Benedict Cumberbatch's chins.
_________ is not my division.
_________ solves all your problems.
__________ is cuter than __________.
__________, it deserves the death penalty.
__________; nailed it!
_________, fells like heaven.
_________, I found it in David Tennant's hair.
_________, kill me please.

_________, what a loser.
________, the final frontier.
*whispers __________.*
#BlackOut day is _________.
3 Pros of dating me:
50 Shades of _________.
A good fanfiction must contain _________.
Adam Sandler's new movie will include _________.
Are we here to see __________?
Apparently, yes.
Arthur _________ at the end of series 5.
Bilbo is hiding from __________.
Career goal: __________.
Cause of death: _________.
Do you hear the people sing? Singing the song of __________.
Even if I lost all my memory, I'd still remember _________.
Everything is awesome when _________.
Explain Assassin's Creed.

Explain Doctor Who.Doctor Who
Fake badges. Fake IDs. Anything that's real?
Finishing each other's __________.
Gay update : _________.
having a tattoo of _________ on __________.
Here is where I would put my _________, IF I HAD ONE!
Honey, you should see me in _________.
How did Sherlock survive?
How to be a little bitch: __________ and _________.
How to prepare for an exam?
How would you define the Avengers?
I am in love with _________.
I am not afraid of __________.
I am only alive for __________.
I crave _________.
I don't _________ for Sherlock Holmes.
I dreamed a dream, that _________.
I only accept high fives from _________.
I want to ___________.
I was going to sleep but __________.
I'm a warrior, I eat _________.
I've been in a bad mood since _________.
I've got a blank space, baby, and I'll write __________.
Ichabod Crane doesn't sleep at night because of __________.
If I die young, it better be from __________.
If you ever feel stupid, just remember __________.
Jim Moriarty came back from the dead to/for __________.
Life hack: __________.
Live long and _________.
Look! _________! I found it in the trash!
Moffat lied about ___________.
Much _________, very _________, wow.
No _________ before marriage.
No admittance except _________.
Oh _________, if only there was someone out there who loved you.
Please stop talking about _________.
Pro tip: _________.
Remember that one time you __________.
Sex tip: _________.
So long and thanks for _________.
Team _________.
Tell us a joke.
The __________ never bothered me anyway.
The BBC means __________.
The Doctor, the oncoming _________.
The next Pitbull hit features _________.
The next sex toy inspired by _________ and __________.
The TARDIS has a secret room dedicated to __________.
The theme of Moriarty's new painting is _________.
The two of us against _________.
They're taking _________ to Isengard!
Things I should not be turned on by: _________ and _________.
This isn't a team, this is a _________.
Tongiht, Hannibal cooks _________.
Tumblr 101 : _________.
Tumblr shut down because of _________.
Two things I have extensive knowledge about: _________ and _________.
What are you sick of?
What can only last 6 seconds?
What do we say to the God of Death?
What happened during my gay comic nap?
What is behind Nick Fury's eye patch?
What time is it?
What would the fuckboy do?
What's in your Tumblr queue?
When Gotham is ashes, then you have my permission to _________.
Without _________, England would fall.
You've been cockblocked by _________.
Your next surprise OTP is ___________ and _________.
[MUFFLED SOUND OF QUEEN IN THE DISTANCE]

[MUFFLED RAP MUSIC IN THE DISTANCE]
*Dying whale noises*
#misandry
#notallmen
13 year old fangirls.
4/20: blaze it.
A bathroom on the Enterprise.
A Black Widow movie.
A buttload butts.
A dad joke.
A Deadpool movie.
A Downton Abbey plot twist.
A fez.
A frying pan.
A jar of dirt.
A journe through time
A raccoon with a machine gun.
A sassy Doctor.
A social justice blog just reblogged your post.
A talking baby tree dancing in a flower pot.
A very sad frog.
A windmill full of corpses.
Abandoned Work In Progress.
Adorable little shits.
Adventure Time.
Aesthetic.
Aladdin's pants.
Alternate universes.
Always bring a banana.
Am I attractive to gay guys?
An Avengers orgy.
An extra hour in the ball pit.
And I'm Javert, do not forget my name.
Anime trash.
ANOTHER!
Applying Irene's lipstick to unusual places.
Archers.
Arthur Shappey killing a man.
Assemble!
Back to school commercials.
Bagginshield (Bilbo/Thorin)
Barbie on a murder spree.
Barney.
Barrowman!
Because fuck you.
Because you're too precious for this world.
Behind Daft Punk's helmets.
Being overwhelmed by notes from a popular text post.
Being raped by multiple Lokis in the back of a van.
Being turned on by artwork.
Belladonna (the poison, not the pornstar).
Benedict Cumberbath's chins.
Beyonceé 's surprise album.
Bi-curious.
Big derpy cats.
Bilbo's feet.
Bit not good.
Bitch, I might be.
Blood orange.
Blue and black.
Boass ass bitch.
Bromance is the way.
Bronies.
Brotp.
Bucky's eyeshadow.
Buffy.
Burning your old art.
But I already did something today.
Butts.
Buttsex : the musical.
Cake makes you fat?
Calm your tits.
Canada's poncho-flag.
Candy Crush Saga.
Captain Jack Harkness. And you are?
STOP IT.
Capture Mycroft and force him to dance in a monkey suit.
Cardcaptor Sakura
Carlos' perfect hair.
Cas! Get out of my ass!
Castiel farting and walking away.
CAUSE UPTOWN FUNK GON' GIVE IT TO YOU!
Cave sex.
Charles Augustus Magnussen pissing in your fireplace.
Cheap aliens.
Chloe's WTF face.
Choked by Sherlock's scarf.
Choosing between necrophilia and beastiality.
Chris Pratt.
Civil War.
Clara Oswin Oswald.Doctor Who
Coachella.
Coffee Shop AU.
Comiccon's toilets.
Cook an apple pie in your werewolf oven.
Cooking crystal meth in your basement.
Cougars.
Crushing the partriarchy.
Daddy never loved me.
Dalkes gang bang.
Damnit Moon Moon.
DashCon.
Dead fandoms coming back to life.
Deadpool.
Dean Winchester.
Denial.
Denying sexual tension.
Did you miss me?
Disney princesses.
Distrtacting your friends while they play Flappy Bird.
Do he got da booty?
He doooooooo.
Do it for the Vine.
Do you love the color of the sky Tumblr posts.
Doge.
Dogs wearing pantyhose.
Dogs welcoming their humans back from war.
Don't believe me, just watch.
Don't even mention it.
Don't ever talk about feelings.
Don't skip Nine.
Doomsday's tears.
Drunk Sherlock.
Dying memes.
Dying your hair green.
E.T. porn parody.
Ebola.
Egg.
Egg…
Sitty....
Thing....
England's nine actors.
Erotically co-dependant brothers.
Every chicken in this fucking room.
Everyone is dead. Your heart is broken.
Everything changed when the fire nation attacked.
Everything is awesome!
Everything is shippable.
Ewoks.
Exterminate.
Eye sex between your OTP.
Fairies.
Fake gamer boys.
Fake pockets.
Fall Out Boy's comeback.
Falling angels douchebags.
Family means nobody gets left behind.
Fandom art.
Fanvideos.
Female characters.
Fifty Shades of Grey.
Finding out your clone is a psychotic bitch.
Food porn.
For an experiment!
For the night is dark and full of terrors.
Free WiFi.
Fuck the feels.
Fuck you, I won a BAFTA.
Fucking Amibos.
Fucking elves.
Fucking werewolves.
Fuckity hi!
Gandalf's staff.
Gangers.
Gavin Lestrade.
Gay porn reaction gifs.
Gender swap.
Get drunk with weeping angels.
Getting naked and watching My LIttle Pony.
Glenn Coco.
GOOD MORNING, VIETNAM!
Gravity Falls. For some reason.
Green is not a creative color.
Hail Hydra.
Han Solo.
Hand knitted socks from your grandma.
Harlem Shake.
Harry Potter's wand.
Having a date with your PS4.
Hella.
Hi Hungry, I'm Dad.
Hints that your OTP might be canon.
Hipster blogs.
Hold my flower.
Homestruck.
Honey Boo-Boo's future sex tape.
Honosexual supporting cast.
Hoping that two fictional characters will kiss.
Horse porn featuring Loki.
Hot British cheekbones.
Hot people wearing glasses.
House Lannister's secrets.
How do you art?
How to murder someone 101.
I am Sherlocked.
I don't understand this reference.
I feel you.
I prefer Magneto.
I still haven't found my berries.
I'm Batman.
I'm on a horse.
*whistle*
I'm surrounded by idiots.
I'm the alpha now.
I'mi n lesbians with you.
Ianto.
Idjits.
Igloo Australia.
In a dark small hallway.
In Bag End.
Invading your vital regions.
Irene Adler's flirting.
It doesn't do wood.
It would be a privilege to have my heart broken by you.
It's a metaphor, YOU POTATO WITH EYES!
It's not a hat, it's a crime scene!
It's not cartoons, it's Anime.
Jennifer Lawrence and food.
Jesus take the wheel.
Joan "I-am-so-tired-of-your-shit" Watson.
John Green.
Johnlock.
Joss Whedon will kill again.
Judging you.
Karen Gillian's bald head.
Karl Urban's grumpy cat face.
Keep it secret, keep it safe.
Killed Dumbledore.
Korrasami.
Last minute cosplay.
Last updated : June 2007
Leather jackets.
Legolas' unnecessary stunts.
Lemons.
Leonardo Dicaprio's nonexistant Oscar.
Leonardo Dicaprio's Oscar.
Les Miserables.
Lesbian pirates.
Like a fairy!
Littlefinger's brothel.
Live long and prosper.
Loki at ComicCon.
Loki's tears.
Losing the skeleton war.
Luke, who's your daddy?
Lumberjack fantasies.
Magnets, bitch!
Majectic Thorin.
Majestic.
Make-up tutorials on youtube.
Marrying the Queen and running away.
Martin Freeman being a dick.
Marvel.
Mazzarella sticks themed wedding.
Mean Girls crossover.
Men in suits.
Merlin was not cancelled.
Merry Christmas, ya filthy animal.
Mighty and powerful gods.
Miley Cyrus twerking in front of her dad.
Mind palace.
Mindfuck.
Mmmm watcha say.
Moffat hate.
Moffat ruining your show.
Moffat trolling.
Moffat.
Moose.
Motherfucking aliens.
Mr. Pointy.
Mrs. Hudson.
Mrs. Hudson's love of marijuana.
MURICA!
Must be Tuesday.
My boobs.
My flaming sword.
My immortal.
My last fuck.
My point is…
Dolphins.
My precious.
Naked hide and seek.
Naming your genitals after fictional characters.
Narnia is not the only thing found in the back of the wardrobe.
Natalie Dormer making everyone question their sexuality.
Ned Stark's bastard.
Ninjas.
No homo.
No. - An autobiography by Joan Watson.
Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Noot noot.
Not giving a shit about your adopted Frost Giant.
Not giving a shit about your brother's death.
NOW THIS IS MY KIND OF CONTENT!
Obama/Romney fanfictions.
Oh no he's hot.
Olaf.
Old as balls.
Old memes.
Once-ler.
Orgy between all the Doctor's companions.
Oversexualized lollipops.
Pepper Potts, Natasha Romanoff, and Maria Hill taking over the world.
Perfect movie cast.
Phil Coulson.
PIE!
Pigfarts.
Pinterest.
Plot twists.
Police puppies.
Pon Farr.
Pope Francis tweeting you back.
Procrastination.
Punch it.
Puns.
Puny god.
Putting Justin Bieber in prison.
Q.
Queen.
Radagast's mushrooms.
Reapersex.
Regret.
Release the Kraken.
Rory died again.
RPing.
Rule 34.
Sad headcanons.
Sam Pepper.
Sandra Bullock floating in space.
Satan is our God.
SAUSAGE.
Say neveremore.
"Fuck you."
Screaming at own ass.
Sebastian the hedgehog.
Second breakfast.
Selfsest.
Sherlock Holmes on a tiny horse.
Sherlock on roofies.
Sherlock series 3.
Sherlock's sex life.
Sherlock's tight purple shirt (The Purple Shirt of Sex).
Shezza.
Shiny.
Ship Wars.
Shipping countries.
Shirtless Gandalf on a white horse.
Shut up. It's fucking red.
Shwarma.
Silent porn movie.
SKIIIIIIIIITLES.
Slapping Joffery.
Slide down a hill with Captain America's shield.
Smack that ass from 8 feet away.
Smash that f*cking oven door.
Smashed by The Hulk.
Smaug's ego.
Smaug's voice making your ovaries shiver.
Snookie in Supernatural.
Sochi fails.
Somebody save Will Graham.
Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace.
Space husbands.
Space Jam 2.
Space wizards.
Spending the day in your pajamas.
Spending your Friday nights on Tumblr.
Spike.
Spock.
Spoilers.
Squidward.
Star Trek into whiteness.
Stars.
Can't do it.
Not today.
Stealing a text post.
Stealing bread.
Steam's summer sales.
Steven Universe. For some reason.
Stiles.
Still being Rick-Rolled.
Still emotionally compromised by the Breaking Bad finale.
Still not know what the fox says.
Stripper rabbits.
Student loans.
Summoning your servant by whistling.
Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious.
Surprise yaoíä!
Surprise, bitch.
Tabel flip.
Taking shots with dwarves.
Tatiana Maslany.
Taxi drivers.
Taylor Swift.
Tea.
Tea.
Earl grey.
Hot.
Tentacle porn featuring Cecil.
That's me, I'm a twat.
The 12th Doctor saying "Fuck" all the time.
The 12th Doctor's eyebrows.
The annoying part of fandom.
The bear polar.
The bottom of your dashboard.
The British Army.
The British Government.
The cast of The Avengers.
The chicken.
The Cup Song.
The differences between Tony Stark and Robert Downey, Jr.
The Doctor's next companion.
The Doctor's screwdriver.
The dog park.
The first rule of Fight Club.
The god of tits and wine.
The hammer is my penis.
The Harry Potter fandom never dies.
The heterosexuality of the Supernatural blooper reel.
The How I Met Your Mother series finale.
The Ice Bucket Challenge.
The internet.
The invisible bisexual.
The Iron Throne.
The lemon is in play.
The Mad Hatter's tea party.
The Magic School Bus porn artwork.
The Master's S&M accessories collection.
The mineral.
The miracle of Mpreg.
The new Supreme.
The Night Vale twitter account.
The once and future king.
The power of Destiel.
The Puppy Bowl.
The Queen on a road rage.
The Red Wedding.
The relationship between white people and the movie Frozen.
The rise of Dick.
The Selfie Olympics.
The shoulder to waist ratio of a Dorito.
The swan dive.
The trail of tears on your dashboard after an episode of Supernatural.
The troll face.
The Tumblr phone app.
The WiFi password.
There is no war in Ba Sing Se.
There's a plothole on Baker Street.
They cancelled Firefly.
Thomas Sanders.
Thor's day.
Thor's hammer hitting your crotch.
Tim Burton's new movie.
Tiny little baby animals.
Tom Hiddleston covered in blood.
Tom Hiddleston speaking French.
Tom Hiddleston's driving.
Trash blogging.
Tumblr shut down.
Tumblr users being smooth.
Twincest.
Twitch plays Pokemon.
Two dwarves shitting in a bucket.
Unexpected feels.
Unknown Youtube webseries you obsess about.
Unlimited amounts of "Let It Go" covers on Youtube.
Useless lesbian vampire.
Using Sherlock's skull as an ashtray.
Vampirates.
Walking through Mordor.
We all hate Joffrey.
We just don't know.
What happens in purgatory stays in purgatory.
What the fuck is going on with Teen Wolf?
What.
The.
Fuck.
What's up, Doc?
When mom isn't home.
Whipped by Black Widow's hair.
White and gold.
Who the hell orders pizza under the name of Torchwood?
Why is the rum gone?
Will you press the button.
William Darcy dancing.
William Shatner's bubble butt.
Willy Wonka.
Wincest.
Wing kink.
Winner of a drag contest.
Winter is coming.
Woman laughing alone with a salad.
Women wearing red lipstick.
Wonderland.
Would you like to see my hidden blade?
Writing is hard!
X-Box One.
X-Files.
Yaoíä hands.
Yo.
You punched me in the boob!
You stole a loaf of bread.
You wanna go?
You wouldn't download a pizza.
Your Christmas URL.
Your first day on Tumblr.
Your Halloween URL.
Your huge pike of unread boooks.
Your mom on Facebook.
Your OTP ice skating.
Your secret porn blog.
Your skin sparkles and shit.
Your tiara.
Your wallet after ComicCon.
Youtubers.
Yuzuru Hanyo being the cutest.
Zachary Quinto's eyebrows.
Zombies.
Zuko's flaming dick.
Libertarians Against Humanity is an unofficial Cards Against Humanity expansion BY

LIBERTARIANS, FOR LIBERTARIANS… AGAINST LIBERTARIANS
_____ via the blockchain.
_____! Trusted and used by Glenn Beck!
1776 WILL COMMENCE AGAIN IF YOU TAKE OUR ________!
Anarcho-_____? That sounds an awful lot like _____.
At next year's PorcFest, they're going to have _____.

Christopher Cantwell's controversial new article explains why _____ doesn't violate the
non-aggression principle.
Hi! I'm Penn Jillette and this is my partner Teller and _____ is BULLSHIT!
I would join the Free State Project, but New Hampshire has too much _____.
In a free society, insurance companies could defend against aggressive foreign states by
using ______.
In his most recent video, Stefan Molyneux explains "The Truth About _____".
In the long run we're all _____.

Instead of the gold standard, I propose our currency be tied to _____.
Last night at karaoke Bob Murphy did a terrible rendition of "_____" by _____.
Michael W. Dean's new documentary is called _____ & _____: The Road to _____.
PraxGirl did a video explaining the of marginal utility using _____ as an example.
TokenLibertarianGirl dresses up like _____ to make a point about _____.

You're all a bunch of_____! - Mises.
3 pounds of uninspected bacon you bought with Bitcoin at PorcFest.

A bogus DMCA claim.
A cuss-laden screaming rant syndicated on 165 FCC-regulated radio stations.
A magic word you can say in court to get off scot-free.
A MaoistRebleNews2 video defending North Korea as best Korea.
A pocket constitution.
A privately owned heroin vending machine in very privately owned middle school.
Alex Jones.
AM I BEING DETAINED?
An annoying radio as about anarchist lapel pins.
An edgy Austin Peterson comment that is really just a typical neocon position.
An hour long lengthyounarther video about the Ming dynasty.
Anarcho-Bacon.
Anitstatists advocating mandatory GMO labeling.
Another 4 hour long Google Hangout video on VoluntaryVirtues no one will ever watch.
Ayn Rand.
Buying freeze-dried food in bulk for the impending economic collapse.
Cop-blocking.
Cultural Marxism.
Doomsday preppers.
Drones.
George Soros.
Going mega-viral!
Government guns.
Homesteading a ring around someone's property to prevent their escape.
Killing cops.
LibPar.
Moving to New Hampshire only to find out they still have a government.
MUH ROADS!
Neo-confederate.
Open-carrying.
Race-realism.
Raw milk.
Rioting over jack-o'-lanterns.
Rolling blunts on a copy of The Socialist Worker.
RON PAUL /b/.
Spending your whole paycheck at WholeFoods.
Stand your ground laws.
Statists.
The free-market.
The free-rider problem.
The Koch Brothers.
The Non-Aggression Principle.
The shoulder thing that goes up.
TheAmazingAthiest's Banana.
Thinking 'the invisible hand' is actually Jesus.
TruShibes.
Trying to pass off Libery Dollars as Official U.S. currency.
Universally Preferable Behaviour.
Uploading videos of yourself doing DMT on YouTube.
Yelling "AM I BEING DETAINED?!" at a confused, Hispanic, Wendy's® drive-thru attendant.
Special
Special
PICK 2
PICK 2
PICK 1
PICK 2
Special Comments
DRAW 2 PICK 3
Sherlock BBC
PICK 2
Star Trek
DRAW 2 PICK 3
Sherlock BBC
Merlin
The Hobbit
Les Miserables
The Lego Movie
Supernatural
Frozen
Sherlock BBC
Sherlock BBC
PICK 2
The Avengers/Marvel
Sherlock BBC
Les Miserables
Supernatural
Sleepy Hollow
Sherlock BBC
Star Trek
Sherlock BBC/Doctor Who

PICK 2
The Hobbit
Frozen
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy
Frozen
Doctor Who
PICK 2
Doctor Who
Elementary
Sherlock BBC
Lord of the Rings
PICK 2
Supernatural
Hannibal
PICK 2
Game of Thrones
Marvel
Batman: The Dark Knight Rises

Sherlock BBC
PICK 2
Good Omens
Star Trek
Downton Abbey
Doctor Who
Pirates of the Caribbean

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared
Guardians of the Galaxy
Doctor Who
Guardians of the Galaxy
Disney
Doctor Who
Teen Wolf
The Avengers/Marvel
DashCon
Les Miserables
Thor/Marvel
Sherlock BBC
Cabin Pressure
The Avengers/Marvel
The Hobbit
How I Met Your Mother
Thor/Marvel
Supernatural
The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings

Sherlock BBC
Nicki Minaj
My Little Pony
Marvel/Captain America 2
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Hetalia
Mean Girls
Doctor Who
Sherlock BBC
Welcome to Night Vale

Supernatural
Supernatural
Game of Thrones
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
Youtube
Sherlock BBC
Twilight
Marvel
Teen Wolf
Breaking Bad
Doctor Who
Supernatural
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
Doctor Who
Sherlock BBC
Sherlock BBC
Supernatural
Game of Thrones
Avatar
The Lego Movie
Star Wars
Doctor Who
Supernatural
Lilo & Stitch
Orphan Black
Sherlock BBC
Game of Thrones
Martin Freeman
Doctor Who
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
Mean Girls
Supernatural
Don't Hug Me I'm Scared

Marvel
Star Wars
Harry Potter
Thor/Marvel
Game of Thrones
Sherlock BBC
X-Men
Teen Wolf
Scott Pilgrim
Torchwood
Supernatural

Hetalia
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
The Fault in Our Stars
Orange is the New Black
Sherlock BBC
Elementary
Sherlock Holmes
Lord of the Rings

Harry Potter
Legend of Korra
Lord of the Rings
Pirate Sails
Supernatural
Game of Thrones
Star Trek
Marvel
Thor/Marvel
Star Wars
Breaking Bad
Doctor Who
Merlin
Home Alone
Sherlock BBC

Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock BBC
Good Omens
Harry Potter
Good Omens
Lord of the Rings/The Hobbit
Game of Thrones
Elementary
Thor/Marvel
Marvel/Thor
Frozen
The Lorax
Doctor Who
Marvel
Marvel
Starkid
Star Trek
Star Trek
Hulk/Marvel
James Bond
The Hobbit
Sherlock BBC
Doctor Who
Gravity
American Gods
The Hobbit
Lord of the Rings
Sherlock Holmes
Sherlock BBC
Sherlock BBC
Sherlock BBC
Sherlock BBC
Hetalia
The Avengers/Marvel
Game of Thrones
Captain America/Marvel
Hulk/Marvel
The Hobbit
The Hobbit
Supernatural
2014 Winter Olympics
Hannibal
Portal
Star Trek
Assassin's Creed

Star Trek
Spongebob
Star Trek
Road to Eldorado
Les Miserables
Teen Wolf
Breaking Bad
Mary Poppins

Orphan Black
Star Trek
Torchwood
Doctor Who
Doctor Who
Cabin Pressure
Orange is the New Black

Pitch Perfect
Iron Man/Marvel
Doctor Who
Doctor Who
Game of Thrones
Dr. Horrible
Supernatural
How I Met Your Mother
Game of Thrones
Cabin Pressure
Alice in Wonderland
American Horror Story

Merlin
Supernatural
Game of Thrones
Supernatural
Avatar The Last Airbender

Sherlock Holmes
Firefly
Thor/Marvel
Game of Thrones
Frozen
Carmilla
Sherlock BBC
Supernatural
Lord of the Rings
Game of Thrones
Supernatural
Marvel
Torchwood
Pirates of the Caribbean
The Lizzie Bennet Diaries
Supernatural
Game of Thrones
Assassin's Creed
Supernatural
Scott Pilgrim
Twilight
Avatar The Last Airbender

Special
PICK 2
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Set Custom Prompt Cards
Prompt ____ - all the cool kids are doing it.

Prompt ____ + ____ = happiness.
Prompt ____ a day, keeps ____ away.
Prompt ____ ain't nothin' to fuck with.
Prompt ____ for women.
Prompt ____ gives a whole new meaning to ____.
Prompt ____ in the morning, sailors take warning.
Prompt ____ is a classic case of ____.
Prompt ____ is a shunned behavior that should be socially acceptable.
Prompt ____ is a time-saving godsend for busy housewives.
Prompt ____ is best enjoyed on the first date.
Prompt ____ is dead to me.
Prompt ____ is nothing ____ can't fix.
Prompt ____ is now outsourced to call centers in India.
Prompt ____ is probably the best band name ever.
Prompt ____ is the name of my new indie black metal emo jazz post-dubstep funk band.
Prompt ____ is the new black.
Prompt ____ isn't about sex, it's about power.
Prompt ____ means never having to say you're sorry.
Prompt ____ tatstes like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
Prompt ____ vs. ____: The new SyFy Original movie.
Prompt ____, fun for the whole family!
Prompt ____: #1 toothpaste flavor recommended by dentists.
Prompt ____: it's magically delicious!
Prompt ____: The Other White Meat.
Prompt ____.com.
Prompt 9 out of 10 doctors agree that ____ twice daily can help increase your health!
Prompt 9 out of 10 doctors agree, ____ twice a day prevents cancer.
Prompt A colossal disappointment.
Prompt A hot new alternative medical practice involves placing ____ in ____.
A little-known fact is that Microsoft Windows was originally slated to be the first
Prompt operating system to include ____.
Prompt A picture is worth a thousand words. So is ____.
Prompt A true patriot would never take part in the act of ____, you damn commie.
Prompt After last week's incident, I made sure to keep ____ in my rape kit.
After the death of Fred Phelps, the Westboro Baptist Church decided to start
Prompt protesting against ____.
Prompt All the cool kids are doing it.
AMC's sequel to The Walking Dead, The Walking ____, was not as successful for
Prompt obvious reasons.
Prompt And on his farm he had ____, e-i-e-i-o!
Prompt Apparently, the secret ingredient is just ____.
Prompt Apple has revealed they now have a patent for ___.
Prompt Ask your doctor if ____ is right for you.
Prompt At the stroke of midnight, Cinderella's carriage turned back into ____.
Prompt Back in my day, ____ only cost a quarter.
Prompt Back in my day, the only way to have fun was ____.
Bobby and Susie sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes
Prompt marriage, then comes ____.
Prompt Check your privilege. And ____.
Prompt Choosy moms choose ____.
Prompt Confucius say: "____ is worth more than ____."
Prompt Congress finally approved The ____ Act. A law that allows ____.
Corporations hate her! See how this stay-at-home mom makes $500 every day by
Prompt just ____!
Prompt Critics are raving about Tyler Perry's new film, "Madea Tries ____."
Prompt Daddy drinks because of ____.
Prompt Damn it feels good to be ____.
Prompt Danger! ____ ahead!
Dante & Virgil entered the 10th circle of hell, where sinners were condemned to an
Prompt eternity of ____.
Prompt Disney presents ____ On Ice!
Prompt Every ____ should be required to get a tattoo of ____.
Prompt Everyone knows ____ makes you immortal.
Prompt For just pennies a day you can give the needy Third World children _________.
Prompt Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% ____.
Prompt Go-go Gadget ____.
Prompt Grandma always said ____ was the best medicine for hangovers.
Prompt Grocery List: bread, milk, eggs, water, ____, and chips.
Groundbreaking research provides convincing evidence that ____ killed the
Prompt dinosaurs.
Prompt Hannukkah was ruined last year due to ____.
Prompt Hey Rocky, watch me pull ____ out of my ____!
Prompt I am the genie of the lamp. I will grant you three wishes. What will they be?
Prompt I can drive and ____ at the same time.
Prompt I feel the need—the need for ____.
Prompt I got _________! Ain't nobody got time fo dat!
Prompt I like to keep ____ as a souvenir of my sexual encounters.
Prompt I live my life according to the teachings of ____.
Prompt I love the smell of ____ in the morning.
Prompt I might be a ____, but at least I'm no ____.
I only have one requirement for dating my daughter: You must be knowledgeable in
Prompt ____.
Prompt I plan to spend this Valentine's Day with ____.
Prompt I really hate ____ at work. I take care of it with ____.
Prompt I sleep like a baby after bathing in a tub full of ____.
Prompt I started putting ____ in the church collection tray every Sunday, just for funsies.
Prompt I was into ____ before it was cool.
Prompt I will not eat them Sam-I-Am. I will not eat ____.
Prompt I work out so I can look good when I'm ____.
Prompt I'm having trouble finding a college which will allow me to pursue a degree in ____.
Prompt I'm sorry, but we don't allow ____ in the country club.
Prompt I've got the fever and the only cure is more ____.
Prompt If a pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow, what's at the other end?
Prompt If I don't enjoy ____, then the terrorists win.
Prompt If you had a Deathnote, who's the first to die?
In Nintendo's new game, you must fight off wave after wave of ____ in order to save
Prompt ____.
Prompt In the grim darkness of the future there is only ____.
Prompt In the new tenth circle of Hell, sinners will be condemned to an eternity of ____.
Prompt Instead of endorsing Jell-O Pudding Pops, Bill Cosby should have endorsed ____.
Prompt Instead of the Jews, Hitler should have worried more about ____.
Prompt Iron Chef: Today's secret ingredient is ____.
It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the
Prompt one most responsive to ____.
It is often argued that our ancestors would have never evolved without the aid of
Prompt ____.
Prompt It rubs ____ on its skin or else it gets ____ again.
Prompt It sucks when you look in the fridge, and all you have to eat is ____.
Prompt It was more uncomfortable than ____ at a ____ convention.
Prompt Jesus is ____.
Prompt Keep your friends close, but your ____ closer.
Prompt Kissing _________ to transform it into _________.
Prompt Loving you is easy 'cause you're ____.
Prompt Marvel's making millions with their new superhero, ____-man!
Prompt Maybe she's born with it, maybe it's ____.
Prompt Men hate it when I practice ____ on them.
Prompt Mister Owl, how many licks does it take to get to the center of ____?
Prompt My favorite part of my yearly physical is ____.
Prompt My Little Pony: Friendship is ____.
Prompt My mission in life is to create a videogame about ____.
Prompt New car sticker craze: Calvin pissing on ____.
Prompt Next on Oprah, teens addicted to ____.
Prompt No book collection would be complete without ____ for dummies.
Prompt Nobody puts ___ in a corner.
Prompt Noone is so old as to have outgrown ____.
Prompt Nothing beats cuddling with ____ in bed.
Prompt Nothing feels better than ____ on ____.
Prompt Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational ____!
Prompt On the 8th day, God created ____, and saw that it was good.
Prompt On the next episode of My Strange Addiction, "I'm addicted to _________".
Prompt On the next on Yo MTV Raps!: an intense rap battle between _________ and _________.
On tonight's episode of Face Off contestants must design a creature incorporating
Prompt _________, _________, _________, and _________.
Prompt Our most powerful weapon on the day of the zombie apocalypse will be ____.
Prompt ProfesorTarantino's
Quentin X recruited new
you for
filmthe
hasX-Men because
sparked of yourfor
controversy mutant powerportrayal
its violent of _________.
of
Prompt ____.
Prompt Real men don't eat ____.
Prompt Remember, ____ is never funny. Unless it involves ____.
Rules to raising a mogwai: never feed it after midnight, never get it wet, and never
Prompt give it _________.
Prompt Science has discovered that beyond the edges of the universe, there is only ____.
Prompt Scientists have now found what makes up 99% of the matter in our universe: ____.
Prompt Scientists have reverse engineered alien technology that unlocks the secrets of ____.
Prompt Sesame Street really went downhill after Big Bird and Elmo had to confront ____.
Prompt Silly rabbit, ____ are for kids!
Prompt Something you should regret, but secretly don't.
Prompt Sometimes you feel like ____, sometimes you don't.
Prompt Sticks and stones may break my bones, but ____ will never hurt me.
Prompt The 1030s were a much simpler time, before ____.
Prompt The best Christmas present my grandma ever gave me was ____.
Prompt The best part of waking up is ____ in your cup!
Prompt The best things in life come in ____.
Prompt The clown made all the children laugh with his balloon animal in the shape of ____.
Prompt The craziest thing Ozzy Osbourne snorted.
Prompt The Japanese government spent billions of yen researching ____.
Prompt The latest internet viral videos contain _________, _________, and _________.
Prompt The new hip trend at craft bars is vodka infused with ____.
Prompt The new version of Dungeons and Dragons makes ____ a playable race.
The next episode of Epic Meal Time will feature cooking ____. And bacon. Lots and
Prompt lots of bacon.
Prompt The next ice cream flavour from Ben & Jerry's.
Prompt The only problem with ____ is that there isn't enough ____ in it.
Prompt The only things you need to survive a zombie apocalypse are ____ and ____.
Prompt The only way to defeat ____ is with ____.
Prompt The only way to end a perfect day is ____.
Prompt The power of love is useless against ____.
The President is currently under fire from the opposing party for his "extremist
Prompt stance" on ____.
Prompt The real reason I've gathered you all together today.
Prompt The reason there are no more Bigfoot around anymore is because of ____.
Prompt The regret of realizing you just tattooed ____ on your left buttcheek.
Prompt The richest man is not he who has the most, but he who has the most ____.
Prompt The road to hell is paved with ____.
Prompt The road to success is paved with ____.
Prompt The sad truth is, at the edge of the universe, there is nothing but ____.
The sex party ended up at the hospital when Bob had to have ____ surgically
Prompt removed from his colon.
Prompt The theme for our senior prom will be ____.
Prompt The theme for this year's Halloween party is ____.
Prompt There are some things money can't buy. For everything else there's ____.
Prompt There are two types of people: Those who like ____, and fucking liars.
Prompt There is a time for peace, a time for war, and a time for ____.
Prompt There is no such thing as a dumb question. Unless it's a question about ____.
Prompt There's no crying in ____.
Prompt There's no such thing as _____.

Prompt They found ____ in the dumpster behind the abortion clinic.
Prompt This decade will be regarded as the golden age of ____.
Prompt This one time, at band camp, I walked in on the tuba players ____.
Prompt This Thanksgiving, I'm most thankful for ____.
Prompt Time travel is now possible! Unfortunately it involves ____ to work.
Prompt To the man who only has ____, everything he encounters begins to look like ____.
Prompt Two items on my bucket list: getting ____ and seeing ____.
Prompt Two things you need to survive on a deserted island.
Prompt Using your training with ____ to defeat ____.
Prompt Warning: This product contrains trace amounts of ____.
Prompt Watson! Holmes exclaimed, "This man was obviously killed by ____!"
Prompt We're off to see the Wizard! The wonderful wizard of _________!
Prompt What do the Amish really need?
Prompt What I wouldn't give for ten minutes alone with ____…
Prompt What was Abraham Lincoln's deep, dark secret?
Prompt What was in my birthday pinñ ata?
Prompt What will be our last chance for salvation when our new robot overlords take over?
Prompt What's inside my white, windowless van?
Prompt What's the most effective form of birth control?
Prompt What's the reason we can't have nice things?
Prompt When a man and a woman love each other very much, suddenly ____.
Prompt When I get drunk, I feel that I am an expert on ____.
When I get old, I plan on talking to children about ___ just to make them
Prompt uncomfortable.
Prompt When life gives you ____, make ____.
Prompt When the machines rise up against us, ____ is our only salvation.
Prompt Will Smith has relaunched himself as the Fresh Prince of ____.
Prompt Wonder Twin powers, activate! Shape of ____. Form of ____.
Prompt Yay! A time machine! Now we can prevent _________ from existing!
Prompt Yeah! There were horses and a man on fire and I killed a man with ____!
Special Set
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Custom Response Cards Special
[The artist formerly known as Prince symbol] (The artist formerly known as
Prince).
[Trollface image].
#YOLO
10 inches of dangley fury.
2 Girls, 1 Cup in full, 1080p glory.
69'ing a 96 year old.
70's bush.
80's hair bands that refuse to retire.
A 60 year old who is hot in a weird way.
A 64th trimester abortion.
A bag of hammered assholes.
A bar-mitzvah.
A beat so fresh, it just might destroy the universe.
A big floppy donkey dick.
A black hole.
A blow-up doll.
A blowjob from a cannibal.
A bottle of Jack Daniels.
A box full of terrible foreign candy.
A broomstick and some lube.
A burlesque performer named Phyllis.
A butt for Jeff's wiener.
A car trunk full of hot, glistening tripe.
A case of the Mondays.
A cat wearing a tie.
A chainmail bikini.
A cheap motel.
A colossal disappointment.
A concentration camp tattoo.
A crying stripper.
A cure for herpes.
A cyborg Kodiak bear with a flamethrower and jetpack. It can also breath
underwater and can only be defeated by love.
A day care Fight Club.
A daypass from my shitty life.

A dick in a box.
A dildo.
A disposable canned vagina straight from Japan.
A do-it-yourself vasectomy kit.
A donkey punch.
A dragon dildo.
A fat ass in spandex.
A feminist who is surprsingly not overweight.
A firm cucumber.
A Fleshlight full of thumbtacks
A freshly shorn scrotum.
A Funyun cock ring.
A gay robot.
A giant gold cock and balls.

A glass jar with a preserved two-headed fetal pig.
A glorious neckbeard.
A goddamn Dachshund.
A gold digger.
A good old fashioned skullfucking.

A Groupon for a hooker.
A grown man crying at a movie.
A happy college mascot who's crying on the inside.
A hilarious failed suicide attempt.
A hip priest giving the sermon with auto-tune.
A homeless man drinking KFC gravy.
A horse with a microcock.
A husband.
A KFC Double Down sandwich.

A low cal progressive communion wafer called, "I can't believe it's not Jesus."
A man pretending to be a woman's "gay friend" in order to get at that sweet vadge.
A man-sized hamster wheel.
A melon baller.
A midget cumming.
A million dollars in pennies.
A millionaire with a heart of gold.
A molester mustache.
A monkey fucking a coconut.
A monolith.
A mouth for hire.

A nightmare involving a deli slicer.
A pearl necklace.
A phantom limb.
A plastic kiddie pool, a bottle of Ipecac, one crack whore and a crisp $20 bill.
A prosthetic leg.
A pudgy gay man with a comb over.
A rape van.
A really sad porn star.
A really ugly baby.
A really, really, really good time.
A remarkably convincing argument for slavery.
A Sailor Moon sex doll.
A self-fulfilling prophecy.
A Snooki blow-up doll.

A Snuggie with a dick-hole.
A sorority row murder spree.
A stuttering auctioneer.
A super-funny hate crime.
A suspiciously convenient plot device.
A televangelist getting caught picking up male prostitutes.
A toddler-sized coffin.
A toothless midget with a pierced tongue.
A touching moment between a wealthy old woman and her Mexican gardener.
A tree made out of dicks.
A unicorn with a bag of cocks tied around its neck with a rainbow.
A vending machine filled with soiled panties.
A vintage collection of Kirk-Spock slashfic.
A wheelchair death race.
A whiny Taylor Swift song about a guy screwing her over.
A wife.
A wizard's sleeve.
Abe Lincoln with a gatling-Gun arm.
Actively repressing your bi-curiosity.
Actually studying for once.
Aggravatingly slow internet connection.
Agreeing to whatever Steve-O suggests to do for fun.
All orifices remaining free of strangers for once.
All the deaths caused by Flappy Bird.
Alyssa Milano's "Teen Steam" workout video.
AMERICA (FUCK YEAH!)
An abortion survivor.
An adorable downs syndrome baby who is the cutest thing ever, but is still retarded.
An anorexic tween.
An awkward boner.
An erotic dream featuring Rosie O'Donnell
An ill-tempered sea bass.

An ingrown pubic hair.
An intense, bloody, and gory war between the Oompa Loompas and the Lollipop
Guild.
An irrational fear of creams.
An island in India where you can hunt people.
An uncomfortably attractive pre-op tranny.
Anal leakage.
Andy's mom's sextoys also coming to life.
Angrily eating lettuce.
Animals that masturbate.
Anne Frank.
Another goddamn virus from surfing questionable porn.
Antidisestablishmentarianism.
Antipsychotics.
Apple's new vibrator, the iPud.
Aquaman drowning.
Aquaman.
Asians being racist against each other.
Asians.
Asking her when she's due and finding out she's not pregnant.
Asperger's disorder.
Ass pimples.
Ass-to-mouth.
Assembling a harem.
Assuming all handicapped people are retarded.
Atheists and agnostics.

Attending church.
Attorney-client privilege.
Aunt Peggy's meatloaf.
Autistic kids.
Autocunnilingus.
Autoerotic asphyxiation.
Baby pigs wearing people clothes.

Backrubs that lead to awkward boners.
Band geeks.
Beardsley McTurbanhead.
Bears.
Beastiality Anonymous.
Beating little kids in Pokeé mon until they cry.
Beating Rodney King.
Beauty pageant contestants' unintelligible dumbass replies to simple questions.

Becoming a Junior High Chess Champion for the sweet hook-ups.
Becoming the mayor of a nursing home on Foursquare.
Becoming what you hate.
Bedbugs.
Being "a little pregnant".
Being a Level 5 Laser Lotus.
Being addicted to Facebook.
Being aroused by the thought of your father masturbating on your fourth-grade
year book.
Being barely 18.
Being fed to a pack of hungry dogs by Kim Jong-un.
Being friends with somone who is awful, because he frequently picks up the check
at dinner.
Being friends with somone who is awful, but frequently picks up the check at
dinner.
Being happy you just made a gay friend so you can use the phrase "my gay friend"…
Being just a little bicurious.
Being one bad motherfucker.
Being one day away from retirement in an 80's cop movie.
Being so naughty santa shits in your stocking.
Being too fat to wear anything.
Being uncomfortable realizing you're outnumbered by members of another race.
Belvedere Cumberbund, or whatever the hell his name is.
Betty White slurping her own urine out of a gourd through a curly straw.
Bill Gates.
Binders full of women.
Bingo night at the Church of Satan.
Bitchtits.
Black Jesus.
Blacklights.
Blood diamonds.
Bohemian Rhapsody.
Boobs that sag down to her knees.
Boy bands.
Breaking a world record.
Breaking into a zoo to steal a monkey.
Breast implants.
Bringing a colostomy bag to a water balloon fight.
Bronies.
Busting a nut on your daughter's new car.
Buying your mother an anal plug for Christmas.
C-Cup man boobs.
Camo cargo shorts.
Cartoon pussy.
Cataclysmic failure.
Celebrity beaver shot.
Celibacy.
Cellophane underwear.
Cheap wine and a three-legged goat.
Chewbacca cock.
Children's Television Workshop.
Childrens' crutches.
Chimpanzees with anger management issues.
Choking and stroking.
Chugging Robitussin.
Climate change deniers.
Clubbing baby seals.
Cluttering up her butter gutter.
Cock flavored spit.
Cock rings.
Cockgobblers.
Cold pizza from the day before yesterday and Willie Nelson's bongwater.
Cold, dead eyes.
Consensual rape.
Cooking with semen.
Cousin cuddling.
Crashing your car into the church to then lay your husband on the altar to stab him
in the heart for worshiping NASCAR.
Crocs™.
Crotch rot.
Crotchless toddler underwear.
Cryogenically frozen testicles.
Cunt muffins.
Cunt.
Curb stomping that motherfucker.
Declaring a jihad.
Deep Fried Oreos.
Deepthroating a cactus.
Defying the laws of physics.
Detachable penis.
Detroit.
Dickbutt.
Digging up the missing Bee Gees, or bury the remaining one.
Diplomatic immunity.
Discovering that you are, in fact, straight in the midst of your first homosexual
experience.
Discovering your father's true sexuality through his homemade porn stash.
Disgruntled Apple fanboys.
Disney-themed weddings.
Docking.
Dogs fucking cats.
Dolphin rape caves.
Donkey porn.
Donkey shows.
Dopamine.
Double vaginal double anal.
Down's Syndrome babies.
Down's Syndrome.
Dr. Phil.
Dressing up in blackface.
Drinking alone.
Drinking until you black out.
Dropkicking anti-Semitic lesbians.
Dropping the soap.
Drowning in hamster spunk.
Drunk on cock.
Drunk-texting an ex.
Drunkenly texting an ex.
Dueling banjos.
Dumpster sex.
Earrings made from cat testicles.
Eating the yellow snow.
Editing Wikipedia to win an argument.
Educational video games.
Ejaculating on the cat by accident.
Electrolytes, it's what plants crave!
Encouraging children to eat lead paint chips.
Encouraging your friend to moon a bus full of children when you pass it on the
highway.
Encouraging your passenger to moon a bus full of children when you pass it.
Eugenics for fun and profit.
Europeans.
Euthanasia.
Euthanising the unwanted pet population for fun and profit.
Excruciatingly graphic Sonic the Hedgehog fan fiction.
Explaining the Israeli-Palestinian situation to a second grade classroom.
Exploring your sexuality atop a flying carpet.
Exposing your tits in a "student film."
Farting explosively during a funeral.
Fat American children.
Fat middle-aged men dressed up like female anime characters.
Fedoras.
Feeding the models.
Female ejaculation.
Feminists with facial hair.
Festering wounds.
Finding out that she's only 15.
Fingering someone's butt so hard that they poop a little bit.
Fingering your sister and finding your dad's wedding ring.
Finishing off a pint of Ben & Jerry's and knowing you'd have kept eating more if it
had been a gallon container.
First world problems.
Five Dollar Footlongs.
Forwarding your grandmother all your erectile dysfunction pill spam.
Frankenpenis.
Frantically clicking pictures of cats on the internet.
Free candy from strangers.
Fucking your dead grandmother in a tub of pudding.
Furries. Yeah, furries.
Gaping anal.
Gay cowboys eating pudding.
Gay for pay.
Gay-marrying your prison rapist.
Genital oozing.
George Takei.
George Washington.
George Zimmerman knocking up Casey Anthony.
Geriatric enema party!
Getting 175% of your Daily Recommended Value of cock.
Getting a box full of razor blades and sleeping pills from your Secret Santa.
Getting a UTI after fucking in the ocean.
Getting angry at something just to pass the time.
Getting called a fag by a gay guy.
Getting eaten out by Gandalf.
Getting fisted so hard, their hand is visible from the outside.
Getting fucked up on PCP and violently masturbating to photos of Jay Leno.
Getting hammered in the ass so much that you die from getting hammered in the
ass so much.
Getting high on bath salts.
Getting parenting advice from the internet.
Getting photobombed by Bill Murray.
Getting shot in the dick.
Getting unfriended by your mom on Facebook.
Getting your ass whooped by Betty White in front of the whole class.
Getting your swerve on in a public restroom.
Ghetto-ass white kids.
Giant squid.
Gingers.
Gingivitis.
Girls Gone Wild.
Giving male gymnists Viagra® before their routine.
Giving maracas to people with Parkingson's disease.
Giving over to the dark side.
Going balls deep.
Gold chains overlaying a copious amount of chest hair.
Golden Girls: The Porno.
Google Fiber.
Grandma in a bikini.
Grandma's cameltoe.
Grape drank.
Gunts.
Hairy tits.
Half an eight-year-old finishing the Boston Marathon.
Hamburger Helper.
Haters that are gonna hate.
Having a fantastic day.
Having a PhD in 'experimenting' with homosexuality.
Having a wet dream about your cousin.
Having dinner with your ex.
Having romantic feelings about cartoon characters.
Having sex at Walt Disney World.
Having to use a plastic bag and a rubberband as a makeshift condom.
HealthCare.gov
Helen Keller.
Hello Kitty.
Helvetica.
Herpes.
Hitler Youth Easy Bake Ovens.
Hitler's House of Barbeque.
Hooking up with a fat chick in the Wal-Mart changing rooms.
Hooking up with a former teacher.
Horse cock.
Hot, barely legal Amish girls on Rumspringa
Hugging your grandma while you have an erection.
Human sacrifice.
Hymen reconstruction surgery.
I am only using this card because i don't have any other cards to play.
Ice Road Truckers.
Illegal immigrants.
Indecent exposure.
Indians (dots not feathers).
Indians (feathers not dots).
Ingesting at least 4 marijuanas.
Intestinal distress.
Irony.
It.
Jailbait.
Japanese schoolgirl porn.
Jar Jar Binks.
Jesus letting a kid die, because the photo only got 998 likes
Jesus.
Jews for Jesus.
Just a ton of butts, dude. Like, a ton.
Justin Bieber.
Keeping it real.
Kicking puppies.
Kitten mittens.
Knowing what a double rainbow means.
Knowing your place.
Kony 2012.
Kung Fu Grip.
Ladies' underwear purchased from a vending machine.
Lara Croft losing an article of clothing every level to keep horny gamers interested.
Laughing at orphans.
Launching a dildo out of a potato cannon.
Leonardo DiCaprio winning an Oscar.
Licking an outlet.
Licking everything in Chernobyl.
Licking the windows on the short bus.
Literally bowling for babies.
Lolicon.
Losing your second virginity.
Losing your virginity to someone you just met at a frat party.
Losing your virginity.
Lying to a girl to get her to put out.
Lying to terminally ill children about their life expectancy.
M-m-m-mocking st-st-st-stutterers.
Machine gun bacon
Magic Mormon underwear.
Maintaining a 0.2 GPA.
Making a girl pay on the first date.
Making drugs with your chemistry teacher.
Making love to a really sexy sheep.
Making love to the romantic strains of "Yakety Sax."
Male pregnancy.
Manscaping.
Mel Gibson's sanity.
Michigan.
Mistaking a fat woman for being pregnant.
Misunderstood pedophiles.
Mjoä lnir, hammer of Thor.
Mocking autistic children because they don't have feelings.
Monkey fuck.
Mother Theresa's rotting corpse.
Motherfucking Bronies.
Motherfucking Cthulhu.
Moustache rides.
Mr. Miyagi.
Mr. T fisting kittens.
Mrs. Claus, blindfolded and begging for cock.
Munchkinland.
MURICA!
Muslims.
My dick in a box.
My ex.
My Little Pony cosplay.
My new girlfriend, Palmela Handerson.
My sex robot, Fisto Roboto.
My tapeworm to move out.
My yearly shower.
Nake santa riding bareback on Rudolph with Blitzen shoving one horn up Santa's
ass and another up Rudolph's while Mrs. Claus is BDSM'ing with Baby New Year.
Nana's douchebag, hanging from the towel rack in plain sight. (ahhhh, childhood
memories)
Napoleon's pickled penis.
National Public Radio.
Never being able to look your dog in the eyes again.
Nicholas Cage's storied career.
Nikki Minaj.
Nikola Tesla's batshit insane ball-lightning death ray.
Nintendo.
North Korea's twitter account.
Not asking your parents' permission before going online.
Not being a pheasant plucker, only a pheasant plucker's son.
Not giving a single fuck.
Not knowing the difference between trolling and being wrong.
Not making it through the Batman premier.
Not understanding satire.
Not using enough lube.
NPR.
Nude wrestling.
Nuns with guns.
Obeying your master.
Objectsexuals.
Old ladies paying by check.
One withered tit.
Organizing a daycare fight club.
Our homeless veterans.
Paula Deen, covered in butter, shouting the N-word.
PCP-Induced cannibalism.
Pedobear.
Pedos in Speedos.
People on Tumblr who just sit around, just waiting to get offended.
People so fat it makes you angry.
People who know you aren't up to date with a movie or a show and spoil it anyway.
People who say "lol" in real life.
Performing fellatio on a geoduck.
Performing sex acts learned from Urban Dictionary.
Pity sex.
Playing the race card.
Plus-sized Pam, the fat barbie.
Poopcicles.
Pooping after the corn festival.
Poor black kids going to school.
Porn that makes you question your morals afterwards.
Post-coital bedwetting.
Preteen Idols.
Prison rape.
Procuring the services of a gay Colombian drug lord.
Profiting from the suffering of untold millions.
Prostate exam ejaculations.
Public nudity.
Public restrooms.
Pulling anal beads out like you're starting a lawnmower.
Pulling the life-support plug.
Punching a baby that "totally deserved it".
Puppy dog eyes.
Purging after eating a birthday cake.
Putting baby powder and glitter in your ass so you fart sparkly coulds.
Putting out on the first date.
Putting peanut butter on your junk and letting the dog lick it off.
Putting the "fun" in "fundamentalism".
Putting the Berlin Wall back up.
Putting wheel locks on wheelchairs.
Queef Latina.
Quoting Monty Python.
Randy gerbils totally macking you.
Rape culture.
Rasputin's huge 13-inch monster cock.
Reading the entire Terms and Conditions.
Realdoll owners.
Reality television.
Realizing it's not worth waiting until marriage.
Realizing too late that there is no toilet paper left.
Realizing too late that you should have worn a condom.
Recognizing your hot cousin in the porn you're watching.
Religion.
Reparations for slavery.
Rich white kids going to prison.
Richard Simmons in a pink sparkly tanktop.
Riding the short bus.
Rodents of unusual size.
Ronald McDonald.
Roofying the Kool-Aid Man and drinking him.
Running a 5k with your left nut hanging out.
Running with scissors.
Russian Roulette.
Sailor Moon's sailor scout transformation that replaces nudity with seizure-
inducing flashing colors.
Sarcastically praising Allah.
Saving Princess Peach for the billionth time.
Saying "I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say
it" when you know you wouldn't.
Secondhand adult diapers.
Secretly wishing you were born on September 11.
Self-diagnosed Asperger's Syndrome sufferers.
Selling your soul on eBay.
Semen in your face!
September 11, 2001.
Setting your phaser to fabulous!
Sex acts that would make even porn aficionados from Eastern Europe and Japan
cringe.
Sex Dwarf.
Sex with vegetables (either kind).
Sexy nuns.
Shaken Baby Syndrome.
Sharting.
Sheep.
Shits and giggles.
Shitting in the urinal.
Shitting out a small watermelon.
Shitting where you eat.
Shopping naked in Walmart.
Shrinkage.
Siamese twins joined at the genitals.
Skinny bitches.
Slaughtering innocent children.
Sleeping in class and having a wet dream.
Smelling bullshit from a mile away.
Smoking Catnip.
Smurf-on-smurfette action.
Sneaking into the back kitchen at TGI Friday's and microwaving a full diaper.
Sniffing glue.
Snoop Dogg being reborn as Snoop Lion.
Snorting lines of heroin.
So much vaginal discharge.
Social Justice Warriors.
Socks with sandals.
Sodomizing a loved one with a baseball bat.
Something that you and your puppies can only dream of you non-miraculous son of
a bitch.
Sparkles and glitter.
Speaking English instead of American.
Spock teabagging Kirk after a Vulcan nerve pinch.
Squirrel-on-whale action.
Stapling your urethra shut to hold it in longer.
Star Wars movies made after 1983.
Starburns.
Starting a cult for tax breaks.
Starting a cult for the tax breaks.
Starting your period while he's going down on you.
Stealing babies.
Stealing the Declaration of Independence.
Steampunk technology.
Stepping on a hairball with a bare foot.
Steve Buscemi's horrifying eyes.
Stigmata.
Stunt cock.
Suburban black kids.
Suburban chain restaurants.
Surprise buttsecks.
Sweatpant boners.
Sweaty, hairy gorilla balls.
Swingers.
Synchronized Sneezing.
Taking a dump in the ball pit at Chuck E Cheese.
Taking a rag soaked in chloroform straight to the face.
Taking a seat with Chris Hansen.
Taking a selfie
Taking body shots off your mom.
Taking fantasy football way too seriously.
Taking off her panties to find an actual beaver.
Taking yoga classes simply for the yoga pants.
Taking your sister's virginity.
Tasting the future.
Taylor Swift holding a relationship longer than 3 weeks.
Teens who were "totally born in the wrong generation".
Teleportation.
Thai ladyboys.
Thailandish ladyboys.
That "not-so-fresh" feeling.
That crazy bitch you work with.
That feeling when you encounter a handicapped person waiting for you to leave the
largest stall in a restroom.
That fish that swims up your dick.
That friend you all keep around just so you can talk shit about them when they're
gone.
That girl who's unattractive but yet you'd still bang her for some unexplainable
reason.
That weird girl in high school with really long hair who was really obsessed with
horses.
That which cannot be named.
The 'Macho Man' Randy Savage
The 911 Truther movement.
The ancient martial art of Flung Poo.
The bogeyman.
The budding breasts of a 12-year-old girl.
The Challenger explosion.
The children. The tender, tender children.
The Civil War.
The Columbine Massacre.
The copius amounts of surgery Octomom definitely had on her vagina.
The country of Africa.
The derivative of an integral.
The dreams of a child.
The Emancipation Proclamation.
The English.
The first rule of Fight Club.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster.
The French.
The Human Centipede (100% medically accurate).
The integral of a derivative.
The invisible boatmobile.
The Irish potato famine.
The largest dildo ever made.
The liberal media machine.
The lighter side of Hitler.
The lighting and aroma of an Abercrombie and Fitch store.
The little mermaid suffering from crabs.
The lonliest Brony.
The lycanthropenis.
The Macarena.
The members of the Westboro Baptist Church being strangled to death by the
umbilical cords of gay babies preaching equality.
The mythical 4th hole.
The one who knocks.
The Pillsbury Doughboy blowing his load all over a toaster strudel.
The poison. The poison for Kuzco. The poison chosen especially to kill Kusco.
Kusco's poison.
The pooled blood of a Filipino cabana boy.
The porn parody of the World Trade Center attack: 69/11.
The regret that instantly follows paying $9.99 for pay-per-view porn.
The rich pageantry of Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade.
The shocker.
The Slap Chop™.
The smell of glitter, sweat, and broken dreams.
The soothing sounds of Kenny G.
The soulful mating cry of the hippopotamus.
The story of Fat Neil.
The sudden desire for tartar sauce when going down on your woman.
The Tea Party.
The three wise men.
The Traveling Sodomy Circus.
The Twilight Zone.
The unbearable pain of living.
The Westboro Baptist Church.
This shitty card I'm reading right now.
Those donut-things you sit on when you have hemorrhoids.
Thousands of spiders.
Three and a half babies.
Three Asian strippers, two porn stars, and a suitcase full of blow.
Thunderdome!
To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of
their women.
To vajazzle so much I queef glitter.
Toast with the burned image of Our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Tossing a salad.
Touching the strippers.
Trading CapriSun for sexual favors.
Traveling back in time to become your own grandparent.
Travelling to Thailand with no intention to engage in sexual deviancy.
Tricking Alzheimer's sufferers into prostitution.
Troy and Abed in The Morning.
Twincest.
Two in the pink, one in the stink.
Two uncircumsized midgets humping a garden gnome.
Uncle Touchy's Naked Puzzle Basement.
Unconditional love.
Uncut man-meat.
Underage cosplayers in bondage gear.
Unicornio, the Mexican unicorn.
Unintentional homoeroticism.
Unironic Tebowing.
Uploading a picture of a vegan sandwich and a decaf white chocolate moca latte
with cream.
Using "quotation marks" in improper "contexts".
Using an infant to do your Shake Weight exercises.
Using heroin, but only on the weekend.
Using I Can't Beleive It's Not Butter! as a replacement for lube.
Using the word "nigger" ironically but self-consciously.
Vaccination induced autism.
Vagina dentata.
Viral marketing.
Vladimir Putin, shirtless.
Vorpal Dildo of Enlightenment +2.
Waiting 3 hours in the DMV without any form of entertainment.
Wanting to hug every cat but then breaking down into tears upon realizing its
logistical impossibility.
War crimes.
Watching a Twilight movie on purpose.
Watching porn for the plot.
Watching your grandma eat Fun Dip.
Watermelon tits.
Waxing the proverbial dolphin.
Weaboos that think they know Japanese.
Wearing blackface to the Million Man March.
Wearing extra thin pants for a strip club lap dance.
Wearing the genitals of a defeated enemy around your neck as a trophy.
What Gary Busey is thinking right now.
When a chopstick and a urethra make sweet, sweet love.
White people saying the N-Word.
White trash.
Whoever the rest of N*Sync is.
Will Ferrel.
Wolf-whistling at Girl Scouts.
Women.
Wondering if it was something you did which caused your significant other to
become gay.
Wondering if the colorblind have an equally useless superpower.
World Peace - and bigger tits.
X-rays of a girl passing gas.
Yo momma jokes.
Yoda.
Yoga pants.
Yoko Ono.
Your ass hurting from wiping too much.
Your aunt barging into the bathroom when you're pooping.
Your best friend's hot little sister.
Your big, knobbly, vibrating eggplant.
Your friend's secret My Little Pony porn stash.
Your grandpa sucking some dicks to not get drafted.
Your local WNBA team.
Your mom.

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Credit goes to original creators and contributors (especially fabio112345@gmail.com /u/Kstau24).

Link to discussion of this card list: http://boardgamegeek.com/thread/947849/hopefully-more-than-complete-listing-

Added 'Cruise Against Hodgman' listing

Added single card from The Black Box Press Kit

Humanity Hates Trump + First Two Expansions

Card Listing Spreadsheet Sheets Descriptions:

Info & Links

Stand Alone Games

Links & Social Media

Carps & Angsty Manatee

Cards & Punishment

Cats Abiding Horribly

Guards Against Insanity

Cads About Matrimony

Carbs of the Huge Manatee

2016 Election Game

Kids Against Maturity

Not Parent Approved

Online Resources for Cards

heet Sheets Descriptions:

2016 Election Game

Cards Against Humanity: Main Deck (All Versions)

Known Sets; Card Lists Needed

206 Geek Podcast Expansion Cards Against Hilarity

387 black cards

Our (unofficial) Disney edition of CAH.

A 36 card, knitting-themed, unofficial expansion for Cards Against Humanity.

A knitting-themed, unofficial expansion for Cards Against Humanity.

Stand Alone Games A1 50 198 248

CAH Main Deck A4 232 1096 1328

Set purchased; pending

PDF purchased; pending

PDF purchased; pending

PDF purchased; pending

PDF purchased; pending

PDF purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

PDF purchased; pending

No longer available for

No longer available for

No longer available for

No longer available for

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

Set purchased; pending

______ + ______ = ______.

Next on Sky Sports: The World Champsion of ________.

(I am doing Kegels right now.)

Current version is v2.0.

Air Canada guidelines now prohibit ______ on airplanes.

________________? Jim’ll fix it!

400 years of colonial atrocities.

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

v1.0 v1.1 v1.2 v1.3 v1.4 v1.5

v1.3 v1.4 v1.5 v1.5 v1.6 v1.6 v1.6 v1.7

+ = __.