The Impulsive Desire Method™ by Alex Carter

Introduction: Why I Created This Course

Hello there.
All my life I’ve heard the saying, that “sticks and stones may break my bones,
but words can never harm me.” I’d just like to say one thing for the record: that
is a complete and absolute lie. Words, from the right person, and under the
right circumstances, have hurt me more than sticks or stones (or any other
objects, blunt or otherwise) ever could.

Words shaped my life. Over the last ten years, I have learned what to say, what
not to say, how to get someone else to say what you want them to say—you
might say I have a passion for words. Though most people who know me
probably wouldn’t put it exactly that way…

But I think I may be getting ahead of myself: hi. My name is Alex. Alex Carter.
You may have heard of me.

Now, if you have heard my name somewhere before, then you’ve probably
heard a bit about me, as well. And if you’ve heard anyone talk about me, you’ve
probably heard them call me by many different names.

Depending on who you ask, Alex Carter is the pick-up artist, the bad boy, the
player, the jerk—add to that any number of other fancy names, titles, and
superlatives.

But let’s be clear:it’s not like I’m out there promoting myself as any of those
things. These are names other people, most of them men but many of them
women, have given me.

And all too often, the names I hear—the ones above, as well as many others—
are not meant nicely. They’re actually supposed to be insults. But me? I take
them as compliments. Sure, it might seem odd to some to consider “jerk” a
positive thing… but that’s pretty much just how I roll.

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It might have something to do with the fact that I hear the most insults right as
I’m about to leave the party… with the hottest girl in the room. It makes me
start to think that, just maybe, “jerk” actually means “I wish I could be that guy.”

Or “I wish I could sleep with that guy.” (We’ll cover this in detail later, don’t
worry.)

But here’s a little secret, one that people often fail to see at first: I wasn’t always
like this. In fact, once upon a time, I was the classic Nice Guy Finishing Last.
Things were rough, and I was both frustrated and confused with my utter failure
to get the women to whom I was attracted to look at me. Though to be more
accurate, in those early days, I was having a hard time getting any woman to
look at me.

A little bit about me.

I was, in those days before I learned the techniques in this course, a complete
and utter geek. I had messy hair and giant glasses that took over my whole face.
My nose was always shiny with facial oil, and I always had a pimple or two on
my forehead.

My mother still thought (and told me) I was the specialist (and most beautiful)
kid in the whole country, of course. But who doesn’t at least have their mother
in their corner?

Needless to say, I needed some help. And I knew it, too. Well, at the very least, I
knew that something needed to change. As I grew up, I developed a great deal
of internal negativity, a strong sense of low self-worth that got worse the older I
became.

I had one really good friend in those days. And he was a total geek, just like
myself.

Other kids went out and socialized. They went out and partied. I feel certain

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they probably had a pretty good time, too. I, on the other hand, spent my
weekends and other free time cemented to the computer or the game console.
My friend and I played video and computer games nonstop, and for a period of
time, I was more or less okay with that.

But I’ve got just a smidgen of OCD twitching around in this old brain, and for
that reason I’ve always suffered from something of an addictive personality. I
absolutely cannot handle doing anything in moderation. I treated video games
that way, and when it came to women, I took much the same approach.

What do you get when you mix an addictive personality with constant rejection
and depression? Read on… and find out.

Ashley.
There was one girl in my life in those early days. For the sake of maintaining her
privacy, let’s call her Ashley.

Now, Ashley may not have been the hottest girl in the entire world: in fact, if
you saw a picture of her, you’d probably say she was average-looking at best.
Maybe a little above average. But that’s not the way I saw it back then.

As far as I was concerned, Ashley might as well have stepped straight off of a
chariot swung low from Heaven. Where someone else might have seen just
another average girl in an average town smack dab in the middle of Nowhere,
U.S.A., I saw a girl with the face of an angel.

I saw a girl with hair so shiny it blinded me to look at it. It was silky, smooth—
perfect. Her smell was enough to make my eyes roll back in my head and my
knees start to quake like jelly. My soul was thoroughly overwhelmed. To say the
least.

Yeah, yeah—I fell hard for the Girl Next Door. I’m a world-class chump. Shut up.

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She’d been in my life about four months when I finally got up the nerve to say
something about my attraction. I was all too ready for a relationship—maybe
even more than just that. As far as I was concerned, Ashely was absolutely
perfect. And she was perfect for me. I didn’t just see a potential girlfriend in
Ashley: I saw a potential wife.

But right now, as our story opens, she was neither. Just a good friend (still is,
actually). When I was a geeky high school kid with nothing to offer the girls at
my school, she was just about the only girl who treated me with anything like
friendliness. She was pretty much the only girl in my life who was actually nice
to me.

And so it was that with a giant knot in my stomach and my heart beating hard
that I finally gathered the courage to say something to her about my attraction.
I had wanted to ask Ashley to be my girlfriend for some time by this point.
Several times I had come within millimeters of actually asking her out. But I was
so nervous, it took me months to finally get to a place where I felt like I could
tell the plunge and actually tell her how I felt.

I knew that Ashley was not going to be available forever; I would have to act, or
eventually some other, more confident guy would come along and snatch her
up.

But adolescent nervousness was still stronger than masculine bravado, and so
eventually, instead of finding her and asking her out, I just sent a text message. I
know… texting is a totally lame move. And I think that maybe a part of me knew
that as I sat painstakingly composing the fateful text message.

Looking back, if I’d been less nervous about the whole thing, maybe I would
have caught myself. But all’s well that ends well, and I’m feeling pretty good
about my life today, so I guess it works out. Let’s get back to the story…

Even today, it still feels like I spent a couple hours on that text, though I know
now that it only felt like that long because I was so incredibly nervous. I typed

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the text message, then deleted it. Then I rewrote it, made a few changes, typed
it again—on and on, over and over again I spelled out my feelings in as few lines
as possible. I could feel my heart pounding the whole time.

The hours of slaving over my text message, making it just perfect, finally yielded
this:

“Ashley, will you be my girlfriend?”

Clever, I know… I was nervous, okay?

So finally, after what seemed like an entire afternoon spent changing and
editing—getting the text just right—I sat in my room, my thumb poised over the
“send” button, every muscle coiled. I squeezed my eyes shut, and pressed my
thumb down against the screen of my phone. I heard a subtle ding.

When I opened my eyes again, I saw the fateful word running across the top of
the screen: “Sent.” I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

A couple of days went by, and I heard nothing. No response. I didn’t have the
heart to text her or call her after that. I had no idea what she was thinking. I
didn’t dare say anything else to her. It had already taken so much courage just
to say anything in the first place, that I had little stomach for more blind leaps
into the unknown.

But it had been three days. I knew she’d seen the text.

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So finally, one night, I called her. When she picked up the phone, I could hear
lots of noise in the background. I heard feminine giggling and shouting. I asked
her if she had a minute. She said that she did, but she warned me that she had
some friends over, and they were having a girls’ night.

I swallowed hard, and finally asked her in real-time if she’d read my text. I didn’t
have the guts to ask her the real question over the phone—I just asked if she’d
seen my last text. I figured she’d know what I meant. And she did.

But she didn’t exactly tell me what I wanted to hear. Looking back, I should
already have known when she didn’t respond for three days that things were
not going to go well. But I was still young and inexperienced at this point, so I
still held out hope.

Then it was Ashley’s turn to speak. When she did, my heart sank down into my
stomach, and it stayed there.

And just what did she say? What words did she utter into her cell phone that
fateful night that was destined to change the course of my life forever? And to
ruin my night, and my life for the next few months?

“Alex!” she said to me, as if I were crazy to think otherwise, “did you really think
we were going to get together? We are so not in the same league.” She laughed
into the phone, girlish, melodious little titters that rang against my ears like
fingers on chalkboard.

Ouch.

I mean, seriously.
Ouch!

It goes pretty much without saying that there are lots of ups and downs in life.

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And some of them are harder to take than others. For whatever reason, as you
probably already know very well, getting rejected by a woman you’re after
really hits you where you can’t defend yourself. It’s a real sucker-punch—right
in the gut. When you totally weren’t ready for it.

It’s often been said and is extremely true that once the seed of self-doubt is
sown in your mind, it does nothing but grow, until you’re petrified to even walk
up to a woman, much less talk to her or get her number.

I felt like the worst thing in the world had happened to me that night when
Ashley laughed at me. I would have done anything possible to keep from ever
having another experience like that. But the world wasn’t done with me yet;
something even worse happened later on.

Kelsey.
It was a few months after I confessed my love to Ashley. I hadn’t talked to her
for a while, and I’d started a new job, so I had even less time for my old friends
and hangouts. Working at this new job, I ran into a new girl, as well. And she
brought her own share of problems, just as Ashley had.

But I really wanted a girlfriend. But even more than that, I really wanted a girl to
be interested in me. I was getting less picky, too. But let’s not get side-tracked.
Back to the story. Let’s call this next girl Kelsey, for her privacy.

I finally managed to hang out with her once, after knowing her a few months.
We ended up sitting on my couch not doing much of anything one afternoon.
That was the day when I finally decided to swallow my fear.

That was when I decided to make my move.

I turned to where she sat, next to me on the couch. I leaned in close to her, put
my hand on her shoulder.

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“You know,” I said, “You make a great friend; I wonder how you’d do as
something more?” I leaned towards her, to kiss her.

Things got very still and very quiet right about then. Kelsey looked me right in
the eyes. My hand was still on her shoulder. I was leaned in—my body language
could not have been more obvious. She looked down at my hand on her
shoulder, then back at me. I could have sworn I saw a faint smile playing around
her lips.

And for just the briefest moment, there, I thought maybe I was about to win.

Instead, the moment ended with those soul-crushing words I will always
remember:

“Don’t be silly, Alex. We’re really good friends. I like you a lot. But we’re just
friends. I can’t really see us as anything else.”

I responded by asking the question that had been growing in my mind since my
experience with Ashley.

“Hey!” I said. “Why not?!” I did my best sad-puppy face. Though, in retrospect, I
really couldn’t have told you what I thought that was supposed to accomplish.

“We’re just… we’re just friends.”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time,” I said. She wrinkled her nose at me, but I went
on. I was mad. “And who says we have to be just friends, anyway? Who says we
could never be any more than that? Huh?”

She sighed. “I just feel that we make better friends, okay, Alex? So, you aren’t
allowed to do that.” At that, she put one pointy-nailed finger on my chin and
pushed my head away from hers. I sat back onto the couch, deeply

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embarrassed, completely devastated.

Things got awkward after that and stayed that way until she finally went home.
Once I finally got her out the front door, I went back and sat on the couch again.
It still felt warm from where we’d sat on it a few moments before. I put my hand
on the place where she’d just been, feeling the heat she’d left behind.

Frustration rose in my chest, and I made a fist. I smashed it as hard as I could

against the cushion. A muted plop came from where my fist smacked against it.
I wanted to hit something else, something that would break and make a lot of
noise. Hey, maybe a part of me even wanted to hit someone. But I was alone in
the house, so I just sat there as the afternoon went by, stewing in my own
impotent anger.

I felt like the fat kid who had to climb a mountain to get the world’s last
Hershey’s bar, but who always fell back to the bottom right when he got close
to the summit. I’d get so close—so close—and then fail miserably right at the
moment I thought I was about to finally win it all.

“You’re not allowed,” Kelsey had said. That had hurt. It wasn’t even a lip kiss, I
thought in frustration. It was a cheek kiss!
But, believe it or not, this is not even the part that sucks. Hold your horses—
we’re getting there.

I went to a party with Kelsey a few weeks later. Things had calmed down, and I’d
made peace with never being anything more than her friend. There was a
bartender at the party, so we made that our first stop when we arrived.

She kept looking around while we waited for our drinks and I made idle
conversation. I wondered what she might be looking for. I started looking
around, too. It never crossed my mind she might be looking around for cute
guys.

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We wandered away from the bar once we had our drinks, and stood near the
middle of the room. She seemed to gulp her drink down almost immediately.
And I was still feeling depressed over Kelsey’s rejection a few weeks before, so
my drink was empty shortly after hers was. I asked her if she wanted a refill,
since I was about to go for one myself. She smiled at me (ahh… she had the best
smile) and said she’d love one.

So I took our empty glasses with me up to the bar, off to one side of the room.
The party had ramped up by this time, and the bartender was backed up. But I
got my drink order in, so there I stood. I waited by the bar.

It was taking longer than usual to get our drinks made, and so(of course) I found
myself staring at Kelsey. I was staring at her legs, and admiring how cute she
looked, standing there in the middle of the room by herself.

I turned back to the bartender to see how our drinks were coming along. I spied
two drinks that matched my order, with the bartender still bent busily over
them. He was lifting and dropping bottles in a kind of hurried dance.

It wouldn’t be long now, for sure. But I couldn’t help myself; I chanced one final
glance over towards Kelsey. You know how it is when you really like a girl. And I
really liked this one.

I definitely did not like the scene I saw when I turned around to look at her. She
was standing with a guy who looked like he’d gotten a little too close for
comfort. I turned back to the bartender, and yelled at him to hurry up. Then I
saw the drinks—they were already on the bar. I grabbed them, and hurried back
to where Kelsey stood in the middle of the room.

I approached her from behind, so she didn’t see me come up. I held out her
drink, and said her name. I asked her if the guy was bothering her. She didn’t
hear me. And so she never turned around. Instead, she stood on tiptoe to put
her arms around the guy’s neck. She kissed him.

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No, actually—to be completely honest, that doesn’t describe it at all. She didn’t
kiss him. She proceeded to eat his face. These two were really going at it. I stood
there behind them, a drink in each hand. My mouth hung open. Amid the noise
and chaos of the party, the three of us were the only ones not moving, not
talking, and not dancing.

Finally, after what felt like an hour, they stopped kissing. Kelsey happened to
glance over her shoulder, and she turned, one arm still around the guy’s
shoulder, and smiled at me. Ugh! She was actually enjoying it.

I held the drink out to her, speechless. She leaned in to take it, still smiling—
completely oblivious to how I was reeling from what I’d just seen. The guy just
stood there, towering over both of us. She turned back to him, and as she did
so, he said to me, over her shoulder, “Hey man, you’re really killing the moment
right now. How ‘bout you beat it, huh?”

I looked over my shoulder as I walked away. They had gone back to kissing. Or
sloppily devouring each other’s lips with reckless abandon… whatever.
Everything was absolutely terrible. I couldn’t make eye contact with anyone else
at the party as I made my way outside, where it was freezing cold and
everything smelled like cigarette smoke.

There’s a lot more to this story. I did plenty more to embarrass myself at this
party. I’m not going to go into all of it here, but let me put it this way: you know
Murphy’s Law? The law that says that whatever can go wrong, will go wrong?
The law that says that no matter what precautions you take, you will always
experience every problem it is possible for you to experience? It felt like in my
case, Murphy had not just come to call—he’d moved into the damn living room.

But still I could not get my head around what I was seeing. How could it be that
this girl, who wouldn’t let me so much as touch her, was glad to suck face with
some random guy she’d met only a few minutes before?

I had already been having a hard time, since Kelsey rejected me; this just added

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insult to injury. Who was this guy, anyway? What did he have that I didn’t have?
These questions burned in my mind. They started to drive me absolutely insane.
Remember when I told you that I have a bit of an addictive personality? In this
case, it came out powerfully: I just had to figure out what was happening. I
absolutely had to find out why girls like Ashley and Kelsey only ever wanted to
be my friend, and never anything more.

So that’s basically why.

I’ve been kicked in the ass a few times in my love life, as you can tell just from
these few stories. But this is hardly everything: I’ve got a decade of experience
to share—not all of it is pretty.

It was these exact experiences, however, that really made me who I am today. I
was okay just sitting around playing video games with my best friend, when
there was a whole world out there from which I was excluding myself, and yet
that secretly I desperately wanted to be a part of. You could almost say I needed
those little kicks in the pants from girls like Ashley and Kelsey to get me up and
moving. I had neglected a big part of my life for a long time, those kicks in the
pants said, and it was time to make something change.

I was excited to find out the answers to my questions, to find out finally and
really what it is that makes girls tick. What it is that makes them choose one
guy, and not another? I had gone through life for so long wondering “why not
me?” that when I sat down to learn about how the techniques I’m going to
teach you in this course, I was ready for anything that would improve my
situation, even a little bit.

See, I had this feeling of “I’m not good enough” floating around inside my head.
Feeling insufficient is horrible—but the good news is that there’s never any
reason to have to go through it.

And that, in short, is why I created this course. I see guys everywhere struggling
with the same heartbreaking experiences that affected me so deeply when I
was growing up. And today, I don’t struggle with those things. In fact, you might
even call me a “relationship expert” (that’s actually the term I prefer): I have

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reached the point in my study and practice where I can essentially pick which
women I want to date. But that’s not all—I can also do it on my terms. I don’t
just date these women, I get literally whatever I want or need from them. They
can’t wait to give me what I want, to be honest.

And I can’t wait to share my secrets with you. Plow on, lucky reader, to find out
what I learned, and become a master of interacting with women, and getting
what you want out of them.

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 Chapter 1 – Understanding the female world.

Okay, I’m giving you a fair warning, right now: I’m about to ask you a bit of an
odd question.

That odd question is this: have you ever considered how life probably seems to
the attractive girls you stare at and hit on all day? Have you ever put yourself
into an attractive woman’s shoes and tried to experience life from her
perspective for a day—to walk a mile in her shoes, as it were? It’s an interesting
exercise, and it may open the door for you to start changing the way you think
about women. In fact, let’s try it right now.

So you’re an attractive girl. You wake up, spend three or four hours on your hair,
apply a little makeup, and zippity-doo-dah, out you go, into the wide and sunny
world. Instantly, guys turn their heads as you pass, wherever you go. It probably
feels nice. You want to flip your hair and wink at them and bounce down the
sidewalk, just drinking in the joy of being alive (and being really hot).

But no matter where you are or what you’re doing all day long, someone is
looking at you, whether it be an angry fellow woman who sees you as
competition, or a man who is probably trying to get the best possible view of
your ass while you’re looking the other way—or trying to talk you into giving
him your number so he can scheme ways to get into your pants.

Then, you go to work. There are probably two or three guys in the office who
have asked you out on dates—you may have even had an office relationship or
two. But your colleagues are constantly scheming ways to get dates with you.
You’re pretty sure the new guy has a bet with those two gross guys over in
accounting that he can get you naked.

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In fact, you have a hard time finding anywhere you can go in public where men
are not coming up to you, trying pickup lines and asking for your number. It just
never seems to end.

So, by this point, you’re dashing home, trying desperately to escape all the men
who are after you. They seem to be just about everywhere, and while yes, the
attention is flattering, it is also very annoying. So you get on the computer.
You’ll hide from them in your room. But that doesn’t work either.

The reason it doesn’t work is because it’s only been five or ten minutes you
fired up Facebook and already you see that you have comments from those two
guys from the office who keep asking you out. Another random guy has
commented on every single picture you put up that “wow u r the hottt lets do it
baby.”

It’s nice to be attractive, but it would also be nice to get away from all the
attention, I bet. You know you’re a 9 or a 10 when it comes to how you look.
But you just can’t get away from the idea that all these guys don’t care at all for
who you are—it’s like they’re all talking to you just to get you to take off your
pants. They don’t care about anything else, least of all you.

And like you’d never want to be the guy who only has friends in high school
after his parents put in that backyard swimming pool, you’d probably resent
having people interested in you seemingly only for how hot you were.
Eventually, it would start to get to you. Especially if you’d wish people cared
about what a great tennis player you are, or your stellar work performance
record, or your stamp collection—whatever it might be.

You must be wondering: why am I even telling you this?

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I grant you this much: if you’re asking yourself at this point what imagining life
as a hot girl has to do with dating and sleeping with the women you choose,
instead of the ones who choose you, then you’re asking a fair question. But
trust me for a moment, because I do in fact know what I am talking about, and
all of this will tie back together, I promise.

The reason this first exercise (and it is only the first of many that may seem a
little bit odd to you, so you’d better get used to the idea) is important to
learning how to understand and interact with women is because, it gives you a
bit of insight on the first part of the problem you will come up against, when
you decide to put yourself out there and go after a particular girl.

The short answer is that girls have and use something that we’ll call the
Automatic Rejection Process.

What is the Automatic Rejection Process?

Let’s go back for a minute to imagining that you are the hot girl, and not the
other way around. By the time you’re 18 or 19 years old, you already (probably)
have realized that you’re a hot girl. The way guys treat you has gotten just too
difficult to ignore. And the way women treat you has probably been different
from what an average-looking person experiences, as well.

But that’s not important here. What is important is that by the time you get
used to getting so many offers all the time, you’ve probably fallen into the habit
of rejecting 99% of those guys.

And it’s not because you’re a bitch—or even because they were all unattractive.
You just get way too many offers during the day; you could never say yes to
even close to all of them. So your default response to a guy who approaches
you is to say no, unless there’s a really good reason to say yes. That’s the

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Automatic Rejection Process, and it’s why hot girls end up with such terrible
reputations.

Everybody wants to try and get with them, but nobody ever considers that
some people have to get shot down, and it isn’t always about you not being
attractive enough. Sometimes, she’s just got too many different people who are
after her.

There’s one side effect that this method of approaching the world tends to have
for us guys, and it isn’t necessarily a good thing: when you approach that hot
girl, chances are you’ve already been pigeonholed into a category. I don’t mean
she’s looking at your shoes and your hairstyle and judging you: I mean the very
fact that you’re approaching her means that you have something in common
now with a particular group of guys.

They all approached her, too. So she tends to start the same old process of
rejection before you even have had a chance to open your mouth and say
anything. She’s already getting ready for the (probably not entirely pleasant)
experience of gently letting you know that she’s not interested, just like the last
42 dudes who came up to her. Don’t take it personally, however.

The first really good reason not to take any of this personal is that, well, it isn’t
personal: you’re Guy #423,235 just today. You’d have to really know your game
backwards and forwards to be able to see any kind of success versus odds like
that. And that’s the second reason you shouldn’t take it personally: once you
know the techniques that I am going to teach you in this book, those odds will
no longer matter. You won’t be Guy #4,624,621 anymore (yes, 4,201,386 guys
actually hit her up just while I was explaining that: you see why she might have
some issues in this area?); you’ll be the only guy she remembers. Guy #1. That
sounds a lot better, doesn’t it?

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You also shouldn’t take this personally because most of it is happening on a
subconscious level. This isn’t some decision our hypothetical hot girl
consciously made at some point in the past: she’s just so used to subtly
rejecting guys who hit on her that she doesn’t even have to think about it
anymore. She could be really mean, or the nicest person in the world: she’s just
doing what she does several times a day, every day. It’s an automatic process—
that’s why it’s the Automatic Rejection Process.

Unless…

Unless what? Unless and until you understand how attraction actually gets
triggered in the female brain, chances are you’re going to get stopped at that
first barrier—with all the other chumps. Get out of the long line and into the
VIP line.

That’s where the guys that go right past the defenses and straight into the
“attractive” category are standing. You’d be smart to get over there, and I can
show you how. Here’s the first secret to understanding the female brain. It came
to me in a discovery several years back, as I was learning to master the art of
dealing with women.

My shocking discovery.
This was perhaps the most shocking discovery I’ve made in my time learning
how to pursue women. But first, another question—this one not quite so weird.
What do you think it is that makes a girl choose one guy, and not another?
What single thing is the most important difference between the guy who takes
the girl home, and the guy who goes home by himself?

Some of the more common guesses sound like this (and not one of these is
right, so if you guessed any of them, then go ahead and give yourself 0 points

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for this question): penis size, money, sense of humor, being in touch with your
feminine side, remembering her name, not just wanting to hook up with her,
wanting the same things she does, having common interests… and so on. In
fact, I’d say there are no other books on relationships or women out there that
contain this single, fundamental piece of information.

So I was sitting with this female friend of mine, and we’d known each other for
about five years. I was on my way to becoming better with women, but I still
had a lot to learn. We’ll call her Jessica.

Now, Jessica was about 5’10”—taller than me, in fact. She had an amazing body
and this natural platinum hair that made her look like a Game of Thrones
character, but hotter, if possible. And to top it off, she was hyper-intelligent,
getting her master’s degree at a prestigious university. But there was one thing
about her that I found exceedingly strange. She was absolutely, completely,
head-over-heels in love with a man I came to start calling “The Weird Guy.”

I’m serious—I actually called him that. Jessica heard me call him that, too, but it
changed nothing about how she felt about him. I mean, she was really into this
guy. He was shorter than her, couldn’t seem to hold down a steady job, and
struggled with pretty much everything in his life. And on top of that, he was
completely average-looking. In fact, most of the time he seemed to need a
shower and a shave.

So what in the world did this guy have going for him? This must have been a
case of true love being blind—or at least really, really nearsighted.

But no, it wasn’t that either. Jessica told me that the Weird Guy had told her
consistently on several different occasions that he was not really interested in
anything beyond casual dating, but she stuck with him, just in case he decided
to change his mind. She was practically ready to marry the guy, and I think she

20
would have done it, too, if he hadn’t told her again and again that he was not
interested in anything like that.

As for me, I was furious. I was a lot better with women than I had been, but
that’s not even why I was so upset. Part of me was mad that Jessica refused to
see that the guy she liked was a complete bum. She deserved a really special
guy. Somebody who really had his act together, and could really take care of
her. Instead, she seemed to be primarily interested in this bum who would do
nothing but bring her down and make her life harder. The decision was
frustrating to see her make. Especially when she’d turn down guys who were far
more attractive, and more successful, without a second thought.

Another part of me was conscious of the fact that I was learning how to deal
with women, and this guy flouted everything I’d ever learned. Maybe you could
call him a natural PUA—whatever it was, this guy had it in spades. But he didn’t
use techniques and he didn’t need books to tell him how to do it. It was just
natural for this guy. But I wasn’t about to let Jessica fall in with someone like
him, and I tried talking to her about the Weird Guy.

It didn’t go well. In fact, by the time our conversation was done, she was
throwing balled-up napkins and cheesy biscuits at me and calling me an
insensitive prick. It was all I could do to escape the place. She told me I’d never
understand what she felt for him, and that I should just stop trying to tell her
who to be into and not be into. It wasn’t my decision, she said, and she was
happy with the decision she’d made.

“I just feel right around him,” she’d said. “It’s hard to describe the feeling, but it
feels good.”

I didn’t really think about this statement until after I’d left her there in the
restaurant, still yelling at me as I headed out the front door. But in my car,

21
heading home, it hit me like the proverbial ton of bricks.

“I just feel right around him,” she’d said. “I just feel right around him.”

I’d been doing psychological research, and lots of field research, trying to
understand the female brain, and a lot of what wasn’t making sense to me
finally fell into place when Jessica said that. In fact, I realized that I’d been going
about a lot of my research in entirely the wrong way as a result of that moment.
I was looking for the answer in books when books clearly were not able to
explain this.

But several years more of book and field research have done little besides
confirm my suspicion: this was the moment when I really learned the truth.

It is not penis size, money, looks, status, or even ability to raise and care for
children that really turns a woman’s head. No, what really gets you that few-
page spread in her diary is how you make her feel when she is around you. It’s
like you and all the other guys she knows are different drugs. She picks the one
she likes the most, even if they aren’t good for her (sometimes especially or
only if they aren’t good for her). But it’s all about how she feels when she does
it.

A lot of people will tell you that women are the “more emotional” of the sexes,
and I find that to be nonsense. Men have plenty of emotions, and plenty of
contact with their emotions. Tell me you don’t feel something when Gerard
Butler calls to his men “Tonight we dine in Hell!” So you know what feelings are,
and how they work, and you feel them just like women do.

Men just have different kinds of emotions, and deal with them differently.
Women in general, however, do tend to focus on their emotions more than men

22
do. In other words, while you might stay with a physically hot girl who didn’t
make you feel so great about yourself because, you enjoyed the status being
the guy with the really hot girlfriend, a girl would much rather be with an ugly
or poor guy who makes her feel great when she’s with him.

Even if he looks like a nose-picking fart potato who never cleans the bathroom.
So the takeaway here is that the women in your life evaluate you based on the
feelings that you give them.

From across a room and with nothing else to consider, a guy judges a woman
based on what she looks like. Sure, a girl with average looks and a great
personality tends to look better than a girl with amazing features and a stormy
attitude, but in general, males remain the more visual of the species.

And women, as I’ve already addressed, remain the more emotionally-oriented.

So a man will pick a girl based on what she looks like, while a girl will pick a guy
based on how he makes her feel.

Let’s put this into more directly practical terms for some of you, who I sense are
still waiting to be told what they actually have to do. This means that as a really
ugly guy, with no money, and nothing really going for him, can beat out a bona
fide hunk with a seven-figure bank account, so long as he knows how to trigger
the right kinds of feelings within the woman he is after.

You may every once in a while see a pairing that doesn’t really make sense. You
might see an old guy going out with a girl half his age, or a really average-
looking fella with a girl who looks like a super-hot model. And to most of us, we
look at the girl and go “what were you thinking?” when what we really should
be doing is asking the girl how the guy makes her feel, and asking the guy what
he’s doing to get that effect.

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In fact, in the coming chapters, that is exactly what we’re going to do. I’m going
to talk about how girls want you to make them feel, and then what you can do
to trigger those feelings.

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 Chapter 2 – Impulsive desire formula.

Let’s start this chapter as we did the last one, with a question. What, precisely,
is an impulse?

What is it, that spark that ignites all spontaneous human action? The impetus
that pushes the spur-of-the-moment decision?

Well, if you were going to put the definition into its simplest form, you might
say that an impulse is the urge to do something, without any forethought or
reasonable explanation. A human being who does anything without thinking
about it beforehand, or using any logical thought in the process of making a
decision, acts impulsively.

The Impulsive Desire Formula, which we’ll talk about in a moment, is all about
impulsive behavior. It’s about learning how impulses arise, what gives them
their power, and how to trigger certain impulses in the girls you talk to.

You may have tried to talk to girls before, and approached the task from a
logical perspective. It’s a common mistake, and one plenty of guys make,
especially early on. You tend to just assume she thinks like you do, when in fact
she thinks very differently. Understanding those differences is a major part of
learning how to foster attraction in any girl you choose. The impulsive desire
formula taps into what I’ve learned in my research, and (more importantly) in
the field, taking into account how women actually think, for a far more
effective, battle-tested approach.

The idea is that you become able to create desire that exists on an impulsive
level, rather than on a logical one, in the girl you’re talking to. Intellectual

25
attraction acts at one level, but impulsive attraction works at another level, far
deeper and more potent than the intellectual level could ever be. The level of
impulsive attraction is the level of the survival emotions.

It’s the level where addiction lives, where starvation lives, and where maternal
instincts live—basically, impulsive desire tickles a need so deep, so primal, and
so intense, that a girl can actually forget all logic.

When that happens, you can be sure that she will pursue you at a high level of
intensity. She’ll be an exploding volcano of desire—that you have triggered. All
of these natural, psychological phenomena work no matter how tall you are, or
what your bank account looks like. Those things have nothing to do with any of
this.

What can this formula do for you?

This formula has some serious power behind it. Even before I learned these
techniques, I was never the kind of guy who was scared to get into high-risk
kind of situations—personally, I’ve been skydiving twice, and I love going to
clubs alone just to chase women, now more than ever—but I warn you: be
careful with the way that you use the techniques in this book. You may get
exactly what you wish for.

And if you didn’t grow up under a rock, then you understand how dangerous
“getting what you wish for” can actually be. All I’m saying to you is to be careful.

But if you’re willing to exercise a reasonable amount of caution, this formula

can bring you all kinds of happiness you never thought was possible. There are
plenty of people out there today writing books about how to pick up women. I’d
even be willing to bet that some of them have good information in them. I’ve
read a number of those books, and what I found was that in general, the books

26
that were available to me did not have a ton of great information in them. In
fact, most of them were full of nonsense.

So I put together the formulas and techniques in this book based almost
entirely on my own experience, and the experience of other men I’ve worked
with. I had to learn the hard way—through brutal trial and error. But all that
time spent trying and failing has given me a lot of wisdom. I’ll share some of it
with you here in the next few pages. Learn from my mistakes, and you can get
to where you want to be much faster.

Let’s break down exactly what it is I’m going to teach you how to do. There are
several different aspects to this, and each of them has its quirks and special
techniques. If you master everything in this book, you will be able to:

1- You will be able to walk into a crowded room, choose a girl, approach her,
and generate an instant attraction—within seconds. You will be able to do this
with virtually any girl. You do not need to be tall, strong, or extremely smart to
make this technique work.

2- You will be able to reverse the process of being put into the friend zone, and
avoid ever having to go there again. You’ll be able to get the girl you’re losing
sleep over to see you as boyfriend material right away. Even if you’re already
stuck in the friend zone, you can still escape it, if you really put these
techniques to work for you.

3- You can change indifference or active dislike into desire, and make even a girl
who hates you attracted to you. Overcome a terrible first impression and make
a comeback.

4- Turn boring relationships around. Take a relationship that seems to have

27
gone completely stale, and turn it back into a sizzling hot one where she just
can’t get enough of you. Girls get bored too, and sometimes they can start to
look around to see if there’s something better going on with some other guy.
What I’ll teach you will help you get her attention back on you, and keep her
emotional attraction to you high at all times.

5- In some cases, you might even be able to get an ex-girlfriend back.

So what is the impulsive desire formula, and how does it work?

The concepts behind the Impulsive Desire Formula are really quite simple, when
you break them down and look at them bit by bit and piece by piece.
Essentially, you have to get a girl in a loop of attraction, and then keep her
there. A loop takes place when you do something she finds attractive, so she
expresses a little bit of interest. This causes you to do something else, which
triggers even more attraction in her. And so on and so forth.

To really get the girls you choose to do what you want them to do, you need to
develop your skills. This means hard work and lots of practice. But armed with
these tools, you’ll gain the ability to keep the girl in a never-ending loop of
attraction—her desire for you will increase over time, until she can’t think
about anybody else but you. And not only will she want you, she’ll need you, at
the impulsive, the primal level.

To give you the best example, it will be almost as if, you’ve got your finger on
the button that says “More Desire,” and whenever you press it any girl will go
insanely crazy for you. She won’t be able to explain it, because it will be taking
place below the level of intellectual awareness and thinking. She will just find
herself filled with desire for you, and will have no clue why she feels that way.

Here’s a promise: I am going to teach you everything that you need to know

28
about this process, so that you can make it work for you. We’ll go deep into
detail, and you’ll get tons of tricks, plus the precise, exact process that I use to
generate a loop of attraction in any woman I desire.

But that’s later in the course. For the time being, there is something else of
even greater importance that I’d like to discuss with you.

We’re about to introduce a major concept. If you plan on taking notes or

otherwise paying attention at all during this course, now would be a great time
to start. That’s because this concept that I am about to describe is so profound,
it forms the foundation of everything else that I will teach in this course. It gives
you a way to understand women that will work when dealing with any real-life
situation. This is the biggest concept in this chapter, so get ready:

Personally, I like to call it the “emotional attraction scale.”

I’m going to keep it simple for the time being. Ultimately, the emotional
attraction concept is not a hard one to understand. I’ll put it in easy terms for
now.

Picture a scale that runs from 1 at the lowest to 10 at the highest. 1 represents
the smallest possible amount of emotion that a girl can feel or have towards
you. This is the place where a girl is apathetic towards you. She may or may not
even know you exist. Or, you may be friends, but you may be trapped deep in
the friend zone. (Don’t despair in either of these situations, by the way, as I can
help you get out of them quickly and easily.) She may even feel disgusted by you
—this is pretty much the worst place you can be in terms of a relationship with
a girl.

A 10, on the other hand, represents the height of impassioned desire. This is a

29
healthy, positive sense of desire that a girl feels for you if you practice the
techniques I’ll teach you later on. She really wants you, with a desire so strong it
may feel more like a need. She openly hits on you, tries to make out with you—
you get the idea.

I’m going to ask you to roll with me, and try something a bit weird. Are you
ready? Okay: imagine that there is a girl in front of you, and you are talking to
her—she’s pretty cute—and she has a scale mounted on her forehead. The
scale has a “1” on one side and a “10” on the other side. You see from the
manufacturer’s label that it is an “Emotional Attraction Meter”; it lets you know
on a real-time basis how attracted the girl is to you.

So while you’re talking to this girl, you can see her attraction level going up and
down based on what you do and what you say to her. You find that when you
say certain things or look at her in certain ways, her attraction level goes up,
and when you say or do other things, it goes down. You can see that it bounces
back and forth quickly and easily, but that it’s virtually impossible to figure out a
pattern. What kinds of things make the attraction meter go up? What makes it
come back down?

Now, if you’re one of those unfortunate guys who’s experienced having a girl
show lots of interest in you, but then seem to lose interest after a few days or
weeks—this means that the scale on her forehead had to undergo a major shift.
It went from, say, a 9, down to about a 3. What caused this dramatic change?
We’ll go into specifics later, but I’ll warn you for now that while it is far easier
than you think to trigger attraction, it is also far easier than you think to kill it.

In fact, the issue isn’t even really that the scale fell in the first place. The real
problem in the situation is that you’ve allowed it to remain down around 3, and
done nothing to change that. You’ve given up, in fact, chalked it up to your
terrible luck or your lack of skill with women—I’m sure you know how the story
goes from here. You’ve been in this situation before, many times. If you hadn’t,

30
you probably would not be reading this book right now.

On the other hand, with the formulas and techniques that I am going to teach
you, you can start to make the transition to having the experience of a guy who
actually knows how to be successful with a girl. You can emulate the guys who
truly know what they are doing around women: this means keeping that
emotional attraction level up around 8 or higher. This is the kind of a guy who’s
developed the ability to almost see a dial on real girls’ foreheads.

So when he sees the dial changing, he can instantly alter his behavior. This he
does habitually. And ultimately, he gets what he wants most of the time as a
result. But perhaps even more importantly, he knows a few key things about
how the meter works, and what makes it go up and down, that really give him
the edge with girls.

He knows, for example, that waiting around does nothing. He understands that
you can’t just wait around for things to get better. This is because an emotional
attraction meter in motion will remain in motion until you do something about
it. That means that if the emotional attraction level starts to fall, he has to act
quickly. He knows it’s never going to go back up unless he does something to
make it go back up. And he knows he has to act fast, so he can salvage what
little attraction is left.

You may have had an experience like this before: you’re hanging around a girl,
and she acts like she is incredibly crazy for you the first couple days you hang
out. She texts you, calls you, wants to hang out with you all the time—it’s great.
But then, all of a sudden, she seems to vanish. It’s like she got to know you a
bit, and all of a sudden started to drift away.

It’s as if she has started to lose interest, or become bored with you. Something
is definitely not right. And before you know it, she won’t take your calls or
respond to your texts. It’s like she just moved on without any warning at all.
Does that sound familiar? For all too many guys, it is the unfortunate reality.

31
Or, it may have played out in some other way. Here’s another common one: you
meet a girl, and you make a huge impact on her early on, and she is really into
you—ready to date or hookup. You get all the signs that she was interested, and
maybe you even get a chance to fool around, or go on a date or two. You’re
sitting pretty on cloud nine, when things change, and fast.

All of a sudden, she starts playing hard to get.You chase after her for a while,
but as time goes on, she’s making it harder and harder for you to chase.
Eventually, she makes things so incredibly difficult for you that it seems like an
impossibility just trying to make it to the next level of the relationship.

You’re caught between a rock and a hard place: it seems like she likes you, or at
least that she used to like you, but you’re stalled behind her wall of hard-to-get,
and you can’t seem to break past it.

What’s happening in any of the above cases is always simple, always the same:
the scale in her head, the one that measures emotional attraction, has swung
from a high, intense level of attraction, all the way down to the lower levels of
apathy. You’re caught somewhere in the middle at this point, and you’re
probably not sure what to do. We’ll touch on how to get out of these kinds of
situations later.

For now, just to make sure you really understand this concept well, I’m going to
break down all ten levels for you, so you can see how they all fit together, and
what each one means. You’ll be able to see some signs and symptoms that
indicate where a girl’s emotional attraction level is—and you’ll probably see
some things that strike you as familiar. This list may help you put some past
experiences into a new perspective, since now you’ll really understand what
was going on the whole time.

Using this list, and a little bit of hands-on practice, you should be able to tell
instantly where a girl’s attraction level is, and you’ll know how to change your
behavior in order to get her attraction level right where you want it, all in real-
time.

32
Now, that doesn’t mean your training ends here. While I encourage you to
always be experimenting, always talking to women whenever possible, I am
going to give you more than just this in the way of training. We’ll talk about
specifics for moving from one attraction level to another in a later chapter. For
now, just get used to what each one looks and feels like:

Levels 1-2: Little To No Attraction Phase.

This is the first level. It’s the level of strangers, and of “the creepy sweaty guy
who was hitting on me in that bar.” This level represents complete apathy, and
maybe even a little active aversion. If you’re in a relationship with a girl, and it’s
gotten to the point that her emotional attraction level is down around 1 or 2,
then you had better act fast—otherwise, she’s probably going to dump you
very, very soon.

There is absolutely no attraction here whatsoever. If there is any, it is small, and

overwhelmed by emotions that she feels much more strongly, like:
·Boredom
·Disinterest
·Aversion
·Displeasure
·Gnawing disappointment
·Apathy
·Complete lack of care

Levels 3-4: Some Attraction, Friend Zone.

If you’ve ever tried your luck with women, then you probably know about this
level all too well, from painful personal experience. If you’re committed to a girl,
and her attraction level has fallen down to the 3’s and 4’s, you’re probably
getting a strong vibe that she treats you and thinks of you like a friend, not as a
highly attractive person.

You’re not going to get much emotion on her end down in the 3’s and 4’s. In

33
fact, if you’re just casually dating a girl, and her attraction level falls down to
here, you’re likely about to get friend-zoned. That’s a tough place to get out of,
even for a guy like me, so I definitely recommend you avoid any chance of ever
ending up in the friend zone. Here are the common signs that you’re in this
level…

·Treats you “nice.” Not interested, just nice.

·Generally seems to enjoy your company, but that’s all.
·Politely indifferent.

Levels 5-6: Hot &Cold Attraction

Here’s a situation you may have seen before: you meet a girl, and she seems
intensely attracted to you. The next day, she’s totally cold and distant. Then, the
next day, she seems to be head-over-heels into you again, but the following day
brings another cold shoulder. What’s going on here?

This is classic female behavior when her emotional attraction level is down
around 5 or 6. She goes back and forth on your attractiveness. She may find
herself extremely attracted to you one moment, and then completely
indifferent the next. This is a frustrating level, both because it’s so close to
where you want to be, and because her going from hot to cold all the time can
start to seem like a real tease.

Predominant Emotions:
·Wishy-Washy
·Unsure
·Ambivalent
·Uncertainty
·Doubtfulness

Levels 7-8: Strong Attraction

If you’ve worked your way up to a level 7 or 8 on the emotional attraction scale,

34
you’re finally in genuine good shape. The girl will feel pleasant around you, and
will probably seek out your company. She likely acts as if she feels at ease
around you. This is not the ideal place, but it looks and feels good when you get
a girl to this point. She definitely finds you attractive, and that just makes the
sparks fly all the faster and all the hotter when the two of you are together now.

You know what this state feels like if you’ve ever been in a relationship. Leading
up to the start of the relationship, you feel a growing sense of attraction to the
person. This level would represent the moment at which you realized you liked
her.

Predominant Emotions:
·Excitement
·Passion
·Fondness
·Interest
·Curiosity
·Giddiness
·Desire

Levels 9-10: Extreme, Intense Attraction

And so we finally arrive at levels 9 and 10, the pinnacle of impassioned desire.
This is the place where she’s truly hot for you.

This is the level where a girl feels mesmerized by you. When a girl is working
within the range of the 9th and 10th levels, she will feel a strong inner need to
be with you, as much as possible, and will not be able to curb her desire toward
you. Keep her here, and she will actually go insane until you give her what she
wants—which will be you.

I’ll really feel like I’ve done my job if I can get you, over the course of this book,
to be able to take a girl from levels 1 or 2 up to a 9 or 10 with a high rate of

35
consistency. By the end of this book, you should know how to do it, be able to
do it, and if you fail, know exactly what went wrong.

Predominant Emotions:
· Bliss
· Enthrallment
·Thrills
·Consistent passion
·Infatuation
·Obsession
·“puppy love”

Before we take this any further, I have a little bit of homework I’m going to
assign you. We need to figure out where you normally stand on this scale with
the women you meet in your daily life. I’m going to ask you to sit down and
analyze all the relationships, Platonic or otherwise, that you have with women
right now. I want you to rank each relationship’s emotional attraction level.
Which of the categories above best describes most of your relationships with
members of the opposite sex?

If, for example, you find that most of the time when you meet a girl, she seems
interested to begin with, but as time goes on you realize that she’s put you in
the friend zone, then you’re at about a 3-4 on the emotional attraction scale.

If you find that you don’t really have a lot of relationships with women in your
life, or perhaps even none at all, then that counts like a series of 1’s and 2’s. By
no means are you hopeless, but you’re going to have to overcome some
internal barriers if you really want to be able to make the change. But that’s no
reason to worry at all, because that is specifically what this book is designed to
do for you.

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But let’s get back to business, shall we?

So once you’ve got a good idea (from reading the descriptions above) where
you stand on this scale of emotional attraction, you’re ready to move on to the
next chapter. As we move into Chapter 3, I’ll be teaching you what to do with
this new information.

I’ll also give the scoop on some other tips on how the female mind works, and
dispel some myths that have some guys enslaved to insane workout routines
and 80-hour work weeks, trying to land the perfect chick with their big biceps
or a fat wallet. Check out the next chapter to find out why you actually need
neither of these things, or a host of others that most guys believe you
absolutely have to have.

37
 Chapter 3 – What are you truly worth?

Let’s be honest with each other for a second:

You probably already know that whenever you go to talk to any girl, she’s
subconsciously evaluating you. Below the level of her conscious awareness (and
yours), she’s sizing you up, checking you out, and deciding whether you’d make
a good potential mate. And that’s just the game that goes on constantly
between men and women. It’s how the species survives.

For our purposes, it’s important you understand that this process happens
below the level of your conscious awareness. Sure, you become aware that you
are attracted to someone, but the mechanics all happen under the surface,
behind the scenes. It happens in the background: it’s an automatic,
evolutionary process that doesn’t need our conscious involvement to work. It’s
like the beating of your heart.

For example, you and I, though we may not be aware of them, have yardsticks
in our minds that we use to judge the people we run into on a day-to-day basis.
We’re not aware of many of these yardsticks, but they’re still there, and they
still operate.

You might see a fancy-looking fellow with perfect hair and a white smile cruising
around town in a Lamborghini: if you did, you took those details and made
some judgments about him. You probably assume that he is rich, maybe that he
is ruthless or cold, attractive or unattractive—you can make all sorts of
judgments based on those few details.

38
And when you meet someone in real life, you really are making those
judgments about them. Those judgments change how you respond to someone
down at that deep, impulsive level we talked about in the previous chapter.

Here’s the kicker: when you sit down to try and figure out what someone else
thinks of you, you tend to judge yourself by your own standards, not their
standards. So you end up with a pretty mangled picture of what other people
think of you.

In this case, that’s a problem because it directly affects how you think the
women in your life think of you. That was quite a mouthful, but here’s the good
news: most of what you think a woman really wants in a man has nothing to do
with what women actually really want in men.

Most men, unfortunately, are walking around with a lot of wrong-headed ideas
about what women actually find valuable or attractive in men. Some really
attractive guys never do anything with their natural tools and talents because
they have entirely the wrong idea of how attractive they are.

They think they don’t have much to offer, when nothing could really be further
from the truth. They’ve got plenty of traits that girls are after. In fact, I hear girls
complain that there aren’t more guys like them around. And yet they never get
girls because they don’t understand that they actually are quite attractive.

After seeing far too many genuinely good guys end up completely confused and
utterly frustrated, I finally made the decision to teach these techniques to as
wide an audience as possible. I’d hate to think that a guy who really had
something to offer women was going home alone every night. He’s missing out
on all the fun he could be having, and all those women are missing out on
experiencing him as the great partner he could (and I think, should) be.

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There is another class of guys out there who have it all wrong. These are the
guys who spend hour after sweaty hour in the gym sculpting these perfect
bodies that they are just certain are going to get them laid.

Many of them remain disappointed weekend after weekend when they can’t
seem to hold a girl’s attention. I’ve met countless other guys who live Spartan
lives and eat nothing but Ramen noodles because they are convinced that all
they need to do is save up enough money, and women will start to find them
attractive.

These guys want nothing more than for the girls they like to want them as well.
I’m here to help make sure that happens, by making sure you’re armed with as
much knowledge and as many techniques as possible. I’m here to explain to you
that regardless of what your money situation or your muscle situation might be,
you can follow and use these techniques and meet with tremendous success
with women.

But you probably still think that it’s about muscles and money, huh?

So, in other words, you’re saying a guy loaded with money, probably a
zillionaire, should be absolutely swimming in chicks, right? Maybe guys who win
bodybuilding championships should get more action than porn stars.

You and I both know that neither of those things are true. In fact, zillionaires
and bodybuilding champs probably have fewer options than you do right now.

Sure, a girl might go after a septuagenarian tycoon in the hopes of getting at his
vast fortune. But that’s not really attraction. That’s closer to gold digging, and
that is not a technique that I teach in this book. You do not need to be rich for
these techniques to work. I think gold digging takes the joy out of the chase. I

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wouldn’t want a woman’s attention just because I had a lot of money in the
bank. Or, for that matter, because of how many pushups I could do.

Let’s take a brief trip (in our minds) back to the early years of humanity’s
evolution, when we were little more than upright monkeys, wandering around
collecting berries and making crude war on each other with rocks and sticks
(and lewd cave-paintings). Money had yet to be invented at this early period,
but there was still a great way to determine who had the most valuable pile of
stuff, and that was food.

Food was life. Whoever had the most food was the most likely to survive the
longest, and thus the most likely to reproduce. We’re the descendants of the
early humans who won. The ones who gathered the most food. That’s another
comforting thought. But I digress…

That food was the ultimate measure of a man’s material success did not mean
that women chose their mates only based on how much food they could gather.
I mean, I’m sure the guy in the village who killed the most deer probably had
slightly better prospects than a skinny fisherman, but more goes into the
decision than just that.

After all, skinny fishermen need love, too. And they got it, often enough. The
same is true today. You might improve your chances with a slick car or six-pack
abs, but you’ll ultimately miss what’s most important if you don’t investigate
what I’m teaching you here as well.

I also meet plenty of men who have another false idea about women. These
guys seem to think that if they can just become good enough at something, or
do something really big and significant, that they’ll somehow magically become
more attractive to women overnight.

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This works for rock stars. And for approximately zero other kinds of people.
Now, if your plan is to become a rock star, then by all means I encourage you to
go for it. I encourage you to take that route, if that lifestyle seems like a good
one to you. But massive achievements in mid-level corporate HR, on the other
hand, no matter how staggering, are unlikely to make any giggling gaggles of
girls swoon anytime in the near future.

The big takeaway here, that I’ve spent the last couple of pages rambling about,
is that you have to drop what you think you already know about women.
Especially drop what you think you know about how women judge your value.
Once again, and I’m repeating this because it is important, it has nothing to do
with your car, your muscles, or any skill you might have or be able to get. Those
things are nice, and if they help you, then that’s great, but they are all beside
the point.

Let’s take a quick detour here, in the form of a story. I have this extremely good
friend. He’s a great guy to party with, but he absolutely hates doing work of any
kind. I don’t mean as in “I’d really rather sleep in today” hates work. I mean as
in “I haven’t had a job in six months” hates work. And on top of that, he’s
horrible with what little money he does have.

This good friend of mine is really happy right now, because he recently met a
lovely young lady. She comes from a very wealthy family. As of this writing, their
marriage is scheduled for a few months from now. She absolutely cannot wait.
The real kicker here is that my very good friend declared bankruptcy a few
months ago. Less than a year before his wedding. And he really didn’t seem to
mind.

Obviously the guy had to tap into something besides money to attract his
gorgeous fiancée. Something so powerful, in fact, that she would be willing—as

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she is—to give up her upscale lifestyle, and exchange it for a distinctly below-
average quality of life, because she really wants to be with this particular man.
She would rather have financial issues for the rest of her life than have to be
without him. And at the risk of insulting him publicly (sorry, pal), he doesn’t
have much else going for him. He’s of average height and has a reasonable
amount of intelligence. And I suppose he does have his talents, but he’s not a
game-changing expert at anything.

On the other end of the spectrum, I remember a student of mine who looked
like a real Adonis. This guy was a Greek sculpture made into a tower of living
flesh. He worked out all the time, and was extremely active in several different
sports, so he was in great physical shape. And he had a rock-solid, chiseled
jawline. He was an impressive specimen.

But we met under distinctly more somber circumstances: he originally came to

me after his girlfriend dumped him, for reasons he couldn’t make any sense of,
for a nerdy-looking guy who didn’t have half of what this guy had.

I know you’ve probably run into people like these two before—or maybe you’ve
been one of them before. Either way, it doesn’t matter. These situations don’t
really make much sense to most guys, but they really do happen in reality, and
this is actually how they work. This guy had somehow lost his girlfriend’s
affection, to the point that she had actually dumped him for another guy. And
that other guy did not have as much to offer.

I helped him to see what he was doing wrong, how he was unwittingly
communicating to his girlfriend that he was of low value. Consequently, she
treated him that way. Eventually, she ran into a guy who communicated a much
higher level of value, and eventually her emotional attraction level for the
nerdy, second guy became much higher than it was for her boyfriend.

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Somewhere in between these two extremes are those guys who seem to have
three out of the four numbers to the combination that unlocks the ability to
stimulate desire in a girl. They think that if they just treat the girl real nice,
impress her with their gentlemanly manners and respectful air, and in all ways
really act like a stand-up guy, the girl will eventually find herself overwhelmed
with desire.

I’ve seen a lot of men try this strategy. I’ve seen a lot of men fail using it. In fact,
I think it’s worked maybe once or twice in the whole history of the 19 th and 20th
centuries. Maybe three times. But I seriously doubt it. Instead, the guys who
insist on sticking with this plan usually find themselves friend-zoned or, worse,
used for their goodwill and favors.

Not to put too fine a point on this, you’ll end up somewhere in the 2’s and 3’s
taking that approach. It does not work. At all.

Which brings me to an important concept, one very similar to the emotional

attraction scale we went over in the last chapter. Just like that other scale, this
one runs from 1 to 10, with 1 being the lowest, and 10 being the highest.

This scale is not called the emotional attraction scale, however, though what it
measures is quite similar to emotional attraction. This scale is called the
Perceived Value Scale. So, if you’re high up on the scale, say a 7 or an 8, you are
a person of high value. You are the kind of person that a girl would feel lucky to
date, because she has decided according to her own, internal ideas that you’re a
person of high value.

Okay, you might be saying to yourself, so if it ain’t the cash, and it ain’t the looks
—how exactly do women pick the guys they really find attractive? What makes
a guy have a greater or lesser value in a girl’s mind?

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In my studies on the subject, I have read a lot of books, and done a lot of field
research as well. The best way to think about it that I have found goes
something like this: there are essentially three highly important, core elements
to determining a man’s value. There’s much more to your personality than this,
and of course you’ll be more likely to have things in common with some girls
than with others. But these three factors represent the most important causes
affecting how valuable she sees you as a potential mate. The three factors are:

1- Emotional dominance.
2- Self-assurance.
3- The “attainability factor.”

Let’s take these one by one to make digesting the information a little bit easier.
Emotional dominance refers to your ability to control your own emotions in
day-to-day situations. This doesn’t mean not having those emotions. It means
that when they do arise, you know what to do to deal with them, and you can
still function more or less as you would if you weren’t having the strong
emotion.

The kind of person who crumples up and surrenders at the first sign of trouble
or problems is not a person with a high emotional dominance. Someone who
can act, despite experiencing strong or difficult emotions, gives off a confident
air that girls can smell miles away.

Here’s a good example that should drive home the point effectively. When you
go to talk to a girl, you probably feel at least a little bit nervous. I don’t mean
calling up a female friend to chat. I mean approaching a girl who you have never
met before in a public or semi-public setting. Especially a really hot girl.

45
Do you start sweating when you do this? Do your knees start to feel a little bit
shaky? Does your face get hot and red really easily? Maybe you have a hard
time coming up with something to say, or a topic of conversation? Do you
perhaps find yourself compulsively worried about rejection from her?

Okay, now picture a guy with none of those problems. He comes off as
confident and collected, even when he is unsure of himself. He has reached a
high degree of internal emotional control, and that makes him highly attractive
to women. This is the essence of emotional dominance, and it is the first of the
three attributes that give a man value in a woman’s eyes.

Here’s a good way to think about it that will help you to understand how this
dynamic really works: a really hot girl has probably long been accustomed to
seeing men get nervous and stutter-y around her. She knows that she is
attractive, and she knows it makes a lot of guys tongue-tied.

But nobody can be attracted to someone who’s afraid of them, so all those truly
hot girls out there spend a lot of time secretly looking for the kind of guy who
will treat them like a normal, everyday person, and make them feel good about
themselves, instead of swooning because they are so hot. The guy who can
swallow his fear of rejection and stroll right over to say hello gets the girl’s
attention, because he’s already proved he can overcome his nerves. That kind of
confidence is always sexy. Which brings us to #2.

Let’s examine self-assurance next. It’s not entirely distinct from emotional
dominance: a guy who can control his emotional state can be self-assured if he
decides to be so. So, you might say that #2 builds on #1, though they are not
truly the same thing. Self-assurance is the quality that allows you to still feel
good about yourself, regardless of whether you’re getting the response you
want out of the girl. This translates into greater emotional dominance, and the
ability to handle difficult situations and difficult people with confidence and

46
cool.

Let’s talk big picture for a second: most guys go about this backwards, and they
end up going home alone as a result. Most guys go into a situation trying to get
a girl to like them. These guys are doing whatever they can to impress the girl,
get her attention, and, if possible, win her admiration. If this gambit works,
they’re happy. They’re getting the attention they want, and the girl is getting a
guy’s loving care. Everybody wins; everybody’s happy.

Well, at least everybody stays happy until the guy stops getting that attention
and admiration from the girl. Suddenly, things are just as terrible now as they
were awesome a moment ago. Guys who stay here long enough end up
thinking that they have to lower their standards way down, when in fact that’s
completely unreasonable and stupid—there’s absolutely nothing wrong with
them at all. They’ve just been using female attention to gauge their own worth,
and their own attractiveness.

This is where self-assurance really sorts the winners from the losers. You and I
both know that girls are all about secret tests: she will throw a thousand a three
tests at you in the course of your courtship. She’ll want to see how confident
you are, what your values are, and how self-assured you can remain in the face
of having someone (her) push your boundaries or mess with them.

Generally, if you bend easily and quickly, you get pushed into the category of a
push-over, or someone of low value. A person who does not bend so easily or
quickly—who has a more resilient self-image or stronger self-esteem, you might
say—generally gets chalked up as the person of higher value. They are more
emotionally dominant, and more self-assured.

It’s not easy to keep your cool in the face of secret tests, rejection—all the
things that tug at your self-esteem when you put yourself out there for a girl.

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But using the techniques in this book, you’ll be able to get out there and
practice without letting it get to you when you don’t score. It’s the second great
benefit to self-assurance: it allows you to get out there and practice these
principles with ease. If you’re okay with yourself whether the girl likes you or
not, it’s much easier to go up to her and try to strike up a conversation.

And so we come to the final factor. This one works rather differently from the
others. It shouldn’t be hard to figure out how, though.

You know that there are some girls who are just so hot that you feel like you
could never get a date with them, no matter how hard you tried. Those are the
girls who seem to belong to the rock stars and the professional football players
exclusively. You could never get her (all of this is wrong, as we’ll see later on, but
plenty of guys walk around telling themselves this all day long).

That’s a girl you see as unattainable. Women use this same factor when
considering who they’re attracted to. You could have great emotional
dominance, tremendous self-assurance, and still not get the girl, because you
don’t seem attainable. You’ve seen girls before who were really attractive, but
who just seemed completely unapproachable. Maybe they had a negative
expression on their face, or you could see that they did not treat people who
approached them very well: whatever the reason, it can really take points off a
person’s attractiveness level. And that phenomenon operates in women as well
as in men.

To take this even further, consider it from this angle: have you ever heard of the
principle from psychology called “scarcity”? It’s not that complicated. If you
know what the word “scarce” means, you more or less already get the idea.
Things that have scarcity are generally considered to have a higher value. The
less of it there is, the more valuable it is. This is why gold is so valuable: there is
not very much of it out there. It is scarce.

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Most guys are walking around completely ignorant of this concept. Therefore,
they continue to do the single worst possible thing they could do in the
situation. They throw themselves after women, trying to chase them. They
make themselves easily attainable for the girl. They do everything they can to
get the girl to like them, and all that pursuit tends to get them assigned a low
value level. They talk to the girl as often as possible, and they may even ask the
girl out repeatedly.

Of course, you can try and pull back your efforts, but then don’t you risk being a
wallflower? It’s a thin line to walk, but we’ll go more in-depth on this topic in a
later chapter. For the time being, I’m keeping it pretty simplistic, so we can
cover a lot of material quickly. We’ll go in and fill in the cracks later on.

Some of the stuff we’re going to go into in these later chapters, on how to go
from chasing the girl to having her chase you, will show you some very clever
methods. You may have some of the biggest insights of your life while you’re
reading the material.

Now, that’s not to say this is not going to take practice. You have to actually
apply this stuff. Memorizing this book or the techniques in it will get you zero
results. You have to go out there, and be willing to fail. That’s important,
because it’s the glue that holds all the rest of these techniques together. But it’s
okay, because it’s just practice.

But let’s stick with baby steps for the time being. Just remember: two scales.
The emotional attraction scale, and the value scale.

So far, we’ve covered that the emotional attraction scale measures how
powerful a girl’s emotional responses to you are. We’ve talked about how it

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goes from apathetic or disgusted all the way up to powerfully turned on and
desiring you. The value scale measures how valuable you are as a mate: this is
the real metric that girls use to decide who the most desirable guy in the room
is.

They don’t look at your body or your bank account, but instead measure your
value based on your emotional dominance, or ability to control your emotions
and act despite them, your self-assurance, or ability to hold your own in the
world, and your attainability. Part of this is based on the concept of scarcity, so
the “rare” man and the exotic man get extra points for being unusual.

For the next part of this program, just remember that you need to keep both
the emotional attraction level and the value level as high as you can. This is
what creates that impulsive desire, which operates below the threshold of
consciousness, and fills her with a need for you that goes beyond logic or sense.

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