Behind Those Smiles

Her brother is a normal kid. He talks a lot, telling everybody nasty stories that only him
can understand. He approaches everybody with a warm smile that could entirely turn
their bothersome day into an extra special one. Everybody in their neighborhood adores
him. He’s like a sun that gives a nourishing and hopeful light to everyone. A beautiful
creation, indeed. But for her, he’s a good- for- nothing weird lad who always annoys her
every single day, making her blood boils all the time with rage. She had no idea why she
hates him, maybe it’s because he’s getting all the attention that she never had? Maybe,
her parents love him more than they love her. Yes, she’s jealous, that’s why she never
wanted to be closed with him. She hates him. His presence that ruins her day, his
irritating smiles that was always plastered in his face. She hates the idea that it’s her
brother, that he is a part of her family. She remembered it clearly, the day he came in
their life.
“Mom, Dad. You’re all here already. Look I got the highest score in our test. My teacher
told me that I am very good!” she bragged letting them see her paper.
“That’s a good thing honey. You should study really, really hard, so that you can be a
lawyer like me.” Her dad told her.
“Yes, daddy. I promise I will study very hard so that you can be proud of me.” Her gaze
gone to her mother, she noticed that her mother is holding something in her arms. ‘’By
the way, mommy, what is that thing you are holding?” she asked innocently.
“Silly, this is not a thing. This is your baby brother. He is Alex.” She said smiling.
“Huh? I had a baby brother? Can I see him, mom?” she excitedly looked at the baby.
“Here you go honey, isn’t he cute? He is much very like you, when you were little.”
“But I’m still little now, right daddy?” she whined.
“Yeah, but you are a big sister now to Alex, meaning he is our new baby. So Ana, when
we are not around you should take care of him. Do you understand?”
“Yes dad.” She answered back.
“And even if you are no longer our baby, you are still our princess Ana.”

The thought of having a little brother excites her. She is looking forward to play with her
brother. That’s her at first, but it changes when her father runs for a political position in
their place. All the time that should be given to their family and to her particularly, was
given to the people in their place. And that’s the beginning of the unending quarreling of
her parents. They are always fighting over small things, but the funny thing is, even her
parents are not in good terms most of the time, they never failed to give time for Alex.
They never failed to give him all the attention that she once had. She’s all alone growing
up, striving hard on her own. And the 20 years that her parents had, eventually come to
an end.
“Let’s get divorced. Our family is having a hard time can’t you see it?” she heard her
father saying those words.
“Are you really going to do this? You are going to hurt Alex.” Her mother said giving her
a heartbreak.
“Things are not the way as it is a long time ago. Everything’s changed. We are no longer
happy with this family. We are both hurting each other and the kids. I’m going. Please
think about it.” Her mother left her father with tears in her eyes. Her father is about to
go when…
“DADDY!! Please don’t leave us, don’t leave me. Please,” she’s crying out loud but it
seems that her father is way determined to go, he slowly turns his back at them, not
giving her a single glance. That tore her already broken heart even more. Alex came
rushing to her upon witnessing the same thing. He embraced her in a warm hug. At first,
she’s struggling to escaped but her brother didn’t let him.
“LET ME GO ALEX!!! It’s all your fault, you ruined my family. It’s because you came in
our family. You ruined everything. You get all the attention that was supposed to be
mine. It’s all your fault. Please be gone. I hate seeing you!! I wish you were gone!!! They
are always there for you when you need them, but me, they are just ignoring me. They
always forgot that there is also someone name Ana who is part of this family, who also
wanted to be cared, who is all alone. They forgot about me because of you. NOW, LET
GO OF ME. I WANT TO KILL MYSELF! I HATE THIS LIFE! I HATE THIS FAMILY! I
HATE YOU! I HATE EVERYTHING!!!” she is punching him, letting all her sentiments
and anger out.
“Sister, please stop crying. I know that you hated me ever since, but please don’t kill
yourself. You had all the time in this world to enjoy everything and not going to
experience this situation again. I promise, you won’t suffer again because of me.
Everything will be okay.” He is smiling reassuring her, wiping her tears away.
“I want you gone, Alex but now I don’t.” She said almost like a whisper.

Tick. Tock. Tick. Tock.

The sound of the alarm clock can be heard in the four corner of her bedroom. The door
slowly creaking and her brother enters tiptoeing.
“What are you doing here again?” she eyed him intently.
“Did I wake you up sister?”
“Don’t answer me with a question A, again, what are you doing here in my room?”
“I can’t sleep sister. Can I stay here for a while?”
“Can’t you tell I’m sleeping? Get out of my room and go back to yours. Please, don’t ruin
my sleeping time.” She said half sleeping.
“Please let me stay here, I promise I won’t do something that will anger you.” He said
smiling.
“Your presence is already making my blood boils, now get out of here.” His smile faded
but he smiled again.
“Please sister. Just continue sleeping, I won’t bother you. I’m just going to sit in here.
Promise, when you wake up tomorrow, I will be gone.” He smiles.
“Fine, do whatever you want.”
She woke up late and he is not around, well, she doesn’t care but that’s not true, she
cares for him as well. She prepares herself for going to school. And she already
accepted everything, that her family is not going to get back the way it is. When done
with all her morning rituals, she found herself sitting at the living room eating her
breakfast. Oddly, she doesn’t felt her brother’s presence. So she asked her mother
about his brother’s whereabouts but her mother just look at her with a sad look.
“Mom, why are you looking at me liked that. I’m asking you where is Alex? He’ll be late
for school.”
“My Ana,” she hugged her.
“What’s wrong?”
“Ana, today’s, the 21st that makes it five months since….” A tall figure entered the living
room.
“Dad, why are you here?”
“I am here to fetch you Ana.”
“Huh? Where are we going?”
“You had an appointment with a doctor today.”
She looked puzzled.
“I don’t have daddy, I had a class to attend to. Just wake Alex mom. Tell him he is late
for school. I’m going.”
“Ana, your brother is dead. Alex died five months ago. And you’ve been like this ever
since. Let’s go see the doctor now.” Her father said not crying but there’s a glint of
sadness flickering in his eyes.
“WHAT? Are you kidding me, daddy? He is just with me last night.”
“Honey, listen to me. Your brother suffered from leukemia and we didn’t tell you about
his illness because he doesn’t want to cause you burden. The doctor told us that he is
not going to last long. That he’s going to die sooner or later.”
“He’s not sick, he is always smiling. How come a sick person smile like that? I don’t
really understand everything.”
“Ana, your brother died not because of his illness but because of saving you. He saved
you from an accident. You were supposed to be struck by a car but he saved you. Your
brother really loves you, Ana. He really does. When he caught you crying sometimes,
he also cries. When you are alone, he always plays your favorite music so that it may
ease the loneliness you felt. He really cares for you.”
“No, No, no, no, NO, NO, NO. THAT’S NOT TRUE. TELL ME ITS ALL LIES. You are all
fooling me. Alex is with me last night. He stayed in my room. I didn’t mean it when I said
that I want him gone. He is alive. He’s just he….” a glimpse of memories came rushing
into her.
“Sister, please stop crying. I know that you hated me ever since, but please don’t kill
yourself. You had all the time in this world to enjoy everything and not going to
experience this situation again. I promise, you won’t suffer again because of me.
Everything will be okay.” He is smiling reassuring her, wiping her tears away.

“Please sister. Just continue sleeping, I won’t bother you. I’m just going to sit in here.
Promise, when you wake up tomorrow, I will be gone.” He smiles.
He did what he really promised. Her tears are flowing down her face.

“Your daughter is suffering from schizophrenia. Schizophrenia is a mental disorder

characterized by abnormal behavior, strange speech, and a decreased ability to
understand reality. Other symptoms may include false beliefs, unclear or confused
thinking, hearing voices that do not exist, reduced social engagement and emotional
expression, and lack of motivation. It’s because she doesn’t want to believe that his
brother is dead that’s why she is imagining that her brother is alive.” The doctor said.