The Teacher's Role in Home/School Communication:

Everybody Wins
By: Rick Lavoie
For the past 50 years, countless media outlets, governmental agencies and private
foundations have been studying and surveying Americans schools. This intense scrutiny has
been conducted in order to analyze and, hopefully, improve public education in the United
States.
Generally, this research focuses on failing and struggling schools in an attempt to discover
what these programs are doing wrong. However, researchers have taken a different
approach in recent years; Rather than studying what failing schools have done wrong, they
now focus their scrutiny on what successful schools are doing right. Implicit in this
approach, of course, is the opportunity for inferior schools to replicate the "best practices"
of the effective programs. Makes sense.
In study after study, it is found that successful, responsive and productive schools share
one common trait:
They solicit, encourage, facilitate and promote parental communication
In these schools…

 Parents are not ignored… they are invited.

 Parents are not avoided… they are consulted.
 Parents are not discouraged from complaining… they are encouraged to
communicate.

Effective, consistent and proactive teacher/parent communication is a relatively new

phenomenon in our schools. In previous generations, the watchword was "no news is good
news" and parents heard from teachers only when a crisis was occurring or the child was
struggling mightily. School/home contacts were stilted and consisted of artificial rituals of
Parent Nights and annual ten-minute sit-downs with the child's elementary teacher. Once
the child reached high school, communication between the home and the classroom became
virtually non-existent. All parties (the parent, the teacher and the student) felt that the
program and the progress of the high school student was simply none of the parent's
business.
Times they are a changing! In most communities today, ongoing home/school
communication is expected (and demanded!) by parents. They view themselves as
"consumers of educational services" and they anticipate that they will be kept informed of
the child's progress and performance. Further, they expect that their input and opinions will
be heard and responded to by the educator.
This phenomenon is new to Regular Education, but home/school communication has been a
staple in Special Education for decades. Those of us who deal with disabled kids know that
the child's success and progress is heavily dependent upon the quality and frequency of this
communication. Our colleagues and friends in the regular classroom have much to learn
from us.
As a teacher, you can view this increased communication as a threat or as an opportunity.
Unfortunately, many teachers are "put off" by home/school communication. A special
education teacher recently told me that parental interaction is "…the worst part of my job."
Last year, a national newsmagazine featured a cover article with the title, "Why America's
Teachers Hate Parents."
I have been communicating and corresponding with parents for over thirty-five years as a
teacher and school administrator. Admittedly, it can be challenging, time consuming and
frustrating… but it is well worth the effort.
Research conducted and compiled by the National Association of School Psychologists
indicates that effective, responsive, well-planned home/school communication has the
following results in schools:

 Improved test scores

 Improved grades
 More positive student attitudes
 Fewer special education referrals
 Lower dropout rates
 Less high risk behavior
 Higher staff morale
 Enhanced relationships between school and community
 Increased parental support for school's initiatives and programs
 Increased donations of goods, materials and services to the school
 Improved parental opinion of and regard for the school

Everybody wins!
But there are pitfalls for the teacher who is attempting to increase the intensity and
frequency of her contact with parents.
What follows is a list of Do's and Don'ts that the teacher may find helpful.
Do create a partnership with parents
A partnership implies that all parties work together — as equals — with specific rights and
responsibilities toward a common goal. Each party contributes his own specific skills and
knowledge toward meeting the objectives.
Unfortunately, much home/school communication is one-sided and school-directed.
Information is shared… but power is not shared. This approach is not conducive to creating
a genuine partnership.
The great majority of home/school crises (and lawsuits!) are a direct result of poor
communication.

Do be positive
In most families, a phone call or note from a teacher automatically indicates bad news
related to the child's behavior or performance. You can prevent this from occurring by
making "sunshine calls" on occasion. Simply drop the parent a note or give them a call
when a child pleases (or surprises!) you with positive behavior or progress.
Mrs. Robbins,
I wanted to let you know how delighted I was with Jeffy's behavior today at
the Fire Prevention Assembly. He was attentive and responsive to our guest
speaker and even asked a few question and shared some information about
his uncle, the firefighter.
You would have been very pleased. I certainly was! Way to go, Jeffy!
Best,
Mrs. Crimmings
These brief, positive communiqués will do a great deal to improving your relationship with
the parent. You also enhance your credibility with the parent for those times that
you mustcommunicate negative information.

Do use the "communication sandwich"

Always begin and end your communiqué (verbal or written) in a positive way. The problem
or difficulty should be covered in the middle.
 Mrs. Ernest,
As you know, Jake has been working diligently to improve his spelling skills
and even asked for some extra drill activities yesterday. Hopefully, he will
have mastered the remaining targeted sight words by the end of the term.
However, the teacher aide and I have been concerned with a noticeable
backslide in his math homework performance lately. He has missed 8 of the
last 12 assignments and the work that he did submit were not very neat or
complete. Perhaps he is finding the long division unit to be difficult and we
will provide him with some extra assistance in class.
We would appreciate it if you would remind him of the importance of
homework… particularly in areas he finds difficult. That daily review and
reinforcement will enable him to memorize and master the various processes.
A supportive reminder from Mom always seems to help!
Thanks again for your help with our canned food drive. Your extra effort
enabled us to surpass our goal.
Best,
Sally McNally

Do remember…
Before they care how much you know, they gotta know how much you care!
Parents want to feel that you know their child and enjoy his company. For a child who
struggles in school, this relationship may be the most important ingredient in his success.
Every parent has attended the never-ending, tedious classroom meeting with a teacher who
drones on about the curriculum expectations and the educational objectives… but says
nothing that indicates any knowledge of (or interest in) the child as a individual.
Always begin your communication with a quick anecdote that reflects your knowledge of the
child as an individual:
Hello, Mrs. Granger. I love Sarah's new coat. The collar is so unique and the
color looks terrific on her. I want to find one like it to send to my niece for her
birthday!
Good morning, Mrs. Starkey. Jason is certainly excited about the pennant
drive, isn't he? He told me that your husband is taking him to the game over
the weekend. Lucky boy!
Hello, Mr. Drexel. Gwen told the class about the new puppies. She is so
excited. I love the names that you chose.
Again, by personalizing the communication a bit, you send a very comforting and reassuring
message to the parent.

Don't use jargon when communicating with parents

Every occupation or profession has its own unique vocabulary that is designed to facilitate
communication between and among its members. But this terminology becomes an obstacle
to effective communication when used with individuals outside the profession.
The field of education certainly has an impressive list of ever-changing technical
terms…but so does every other profession. You may dazzle a parent who is a plumber,
veterinarian or accountant by using terms like "cognitively amplicated matrix" or "criterion
reference assessment" …but the parent could also overwhelm you with some terms
from his professional collection.
Some teachers unintentionally (or intentionally?) confuse parents by using overly technical
language. Don't. If you must use a technical term, define it!
That said, also be very aware of not "talking down' to parents. Many Moms and Dads are
very well versed in educational issues, particularly regarding their own child. Be flexible in
your parent communication by modifying your language to match the knowledge base of the
parent.

Do encourage dialogue
When you send a note home with the child, put a space at the end for the parent's
signature to indicate that she received it. But also put a small space for the parent to make
a comment.

Do start (and continue) a monthly or bi-weekly classroom newsletter for parents

Initially, these may seem overly time consuming… but it is well worth your time and effort.
Ultimately, it will save the teacher considerable time because it prevents 32 phone calls
asking what time the Monday field trip to the zoo will return or the date of the class picture!

Do send weekly work folders home

Teachers who consistently compile work folders and send them home (via the student) each
Friday, report a significant improvement in home/school communication and cooperation.
Many families use the folders as a weekly ritual where they review the work with their child
and reinforce the child's effort and progress.

Don't let situations fester

Communicate with parents during the initial phases of a brewing crisis. Contact them to
discuss the child if you observe a significant change in his behavior performance or attitude.
Don't wait until a full-blown crisis occurs before consulting with the homefront.

Do handle conflicts effectively

These conflicts and disagreements are, unfortunately, inevitable because of the critical
nature of the parent/school relationship. When a conflict arises and has been resolved, wipe
the slate clean. Let it go. Move on and try to rebuild the partnership and trust that you had
previously shared with the parent.
During a conflict, the professional must be sure to focus on the best interest of the child.
Separate the person from the problem. Don't allow "adult agendas" or clashing egos to
impact on your decisions. Never let a parent/teacher disagreement modify your treatment
of the child.
Never hesitate to use "trial periods". If you will be trying a new approach, inform the parent
that you will be evaluating the child's response on an ongoing basis to determine the
effectiveness and viability of the strategy.

Don't be overly judgmental

You may find yourself dealing with a family whose attitudes, values and dynamics are at
variance with yours. As a professional, you should respect that family's "culture" even if you
are not in agreement with it.
A young teacher was conferencing with a set of parents. The father was quite domineering
and tended to "cut off" his wife whenever she attempted to make a comment. The teacher
scolded the Dad and told him to "allow your wife to get a word in".
The teacher was quite proud of her actions. She shouldn't have been. As a professional, you
may not like the dynamic within a child's family …but you must respect it.
In my opinion, the teacher was unprofessional. Further, I would imagine that this interaction
had a negative, long-term impact upon her relationship and collaboration with that family.
Special educators must be particularly aware of cultural differences and traditions. For
example, families of Asian and Hispanic origin are often "ashamed" of their child's disability
and may blame themselves for the problem. Parents who are not English speaking may
have difficulty recognizing the severity of a child's academic problems because — relative to
other family members — the child may seem quite facile at language.
Do recognize that every teacher/parent relationship has three stages
John Cheng Gorman wisely reminds professionals that each home/school relationship has
a beginning stage, a maintenance stage and an ending stage. Each of these stages has
unique opportunities, strategies, responsibilities… and pitfalls.
The Beginning Stage requires the teacher to establish her credibility as a competent and
confident professional. She must set the tone for ongoing collaboration and outline the
specific goals, roles and responsibilities of each member of the new partnership.
The Maintenance Stage requires the teacher to use ongoing conferencing and
communication to continue and enhance the partnership.
The Ending Stage brings appropriate closure to the partnership by creative and effective and
well-planned transition to the next step in the child's academic progression. The teacher
must provide the family with encouragement as they face this new step.
The final stage is a particular difficulty for special educators. Parents often develop a
dependency on a teacher and are reluctant to end the relationship. You must communicate
to the parent that you will communicate closely with the child's next teacher and that you
will be involved in the transition. Assure her that the child will be "in good hands".

Don't attempt to defend the indefensible

There may come a situation where you, a colleague or "the system" makes a mistake.
Considering the myriad responsibilities that we all have, such situations are pretty much
inevitable. Even Willie Mays dropped an easy fly ball once in a while.
Do not become defensive or argumentative when faced with such a situation. Do not
attempt to construct a defense with a series of excuses or rationales. This approach only
serves to anger the parent and weakens the partnership.
Merely apologize for the error and express your regret for the situation. Outline steps that
will be taken to prevent a re-occurrence. Even the most upset parent will generally respond
well to this approach. Sincere apologies are not a reflection of weakness or incompetence.
Rather, they reflect strength and confidence.

Don't view the parent too narrowly…or judgmentally

Suppose that you have a special education student, Jessica, in your class. Her mom is
named Amanda. Therefore, your relationship with Amanda is based solely on her role
as Jessica's mom.
But Amanda has other roles in her life beyond being Jessica's mom. She's also a wife, a
daughter, a sister, an in-law, a neighbor, a friend, an employee, etc., etc., etc. Each of
these roles requires Amanda's time and attention. Perhaps her mom is chronically ill, her
job is at peak season, she is re-doing her kitchen and her dog died this morning. These
situations impact significantly on her. Being Jessica's mom is not her solitary responsibility…
albeit it is a very important one.
Be mindful of this when Amanda fails to immediately return your phone call, forget to come
to the scheduled classroom conference or is not able to make brownies for the Bake Sale.
Give her a break!

Do keep the "balance of power" equitable

In any effective, functioning partnerships, the power is shared equally and appropriately.
In the teacher/parent partnership it is important to remain mindful that both parties have
areas of unique knowledge and skill. The parents are well versed in their child's long-term
developmental history (physical, medical and social), his interests and affinities and his
lifestyle. The teacher has knowledge of teaching and assessment strategies, school policies
and procedures and the child's school performance.
Share this knowledge and perspective in a collaborative manner. According to Special
Education Law, this partnership is mandated.
Do create a parent-friendly and welcoming environment in your classroom and
throughout the school building
Ask the principal to post "Welcome to our School" signs, as well as maps and clear
instructions and directions. Some schools have even created "Parent Waiting Rooms" for
parent visitors with coffee, soft drinks and a parent lending library.
Schools have initiated bi-monthly "Family Nights" where student families and staff families
gather for a potluck supper, entertainment or a movie. Other creative ideas include school
wide mural projects, community gardens, family litter patrols, playground construction
projects and family talent shows. Faculty attendance at such events should be strongly
encouraged.
Many teachers publish their classroom newsletter via email. Beware, however, that a "digital
divide" exists in many American communities and some parents may not have access to
electronic mail or the Internet.
An effective classroom newsletter could include:

 Announcements of upcoming events

 Reminders
 Homework tips
 Featured student of the week
 Acknowledgements and "thank yous" for families who have assisted in some way.
 "Wish Lists" that solicits items and services that parents could donate (We need 50
glass jars for our upcoming science unit.)
 Suggestions to supplement curriculum content at home ( e.g. PBS is broadcasting a
program on the Civil War next Sunday. It will emphasis the role that young Southern
recruits played in the war. The class read a book related to that topic in October. You
may want to encourage your child to watch it… or even watch it with him.)
 Reprints of timely articles
 Samples of student writing or artwork
 Outline of plans for the upcoming week
 Profile of a featured family of the week

Do assist the special education parent to develop a realistic understanding and

appreciation of the assessment process
They should not view "testing" as the etched-in-stone determining factor in the child's
future. Neither should they feel that testing is unimportant an inconsequential. They should
come to view testing as an integral part of the problem-solving process.

Don't hesitate to provide special education parents with occasional guidance and
advice on home issues… if they request it
Your knowledge and understanding of the child's disabilities would be very useful to Mom
and Dad as they work with the child at home. Encourage the parent to read books when the
child is watching… to speak positively about school and teachers… to show an interest in the
child's schoolwork… to review school assignments… to praise the child's efforts… to
encourage independence… to establish a specific time and place to do homework… and to
provide occasional learning games and activities at home… to provide the child with a warm,
supportive home environment… to minimize the use of disappointment and punishment at
home… to encourage and nurture the child's peer relationships… to speak slowly and clearly
to the child, avoiding multi-concept phrases.
Do understand that special education parents often have great difficulty
accepting the fact that their child has a disability
Provide them with advice and reading material that may assist them in this process.

Do encourage the special education parent to understand the role of "coach"

There are times when the parent needs to "step aside" and allow the child to attempt a task
independently. Remind them that a good coach never goes on the playing field, rather he
stays on the sidelines and provides the "player" with encouragement, praise, suggestions,
praise and guidance.

Do remember that special education parents often go through a series of

unpredictable "stages" as they attempt to accept and understand their child's
disability
Among these stages are anger, guilt, denial, depression, envy, isolation and flight. As a
result, these parents may be difficult to deal with and may treat you in an inappropriate
manner. It is important to remember that these folks are on a difficult and challenging
journey… a journey that they did not ask for. In the history of mankind, no pregnant woman
has ever got on her knees and asked to be given a child with a disability.
REMEMBER… take their behavior seriously, but don't take it personally.