THE VialENT OUTBURST TnaT DREW ME Te You FINEGAN KRUCKEMEYER ad Currency Press, SydneyCHARACTERS CONNOR, 16 years old LOTTE, 16 years old OTHER FEMALE ROLES OTHER MALE ROLES If performed as a three-hander, the role of LOTTE may be performed by the actor playing OTHER FEMALE ROLES. SETTING Part One: a series of tangible spaces (home, garage, classroom, bus stop, art gallery, car). Part Two: a forest which may be real or imagined (at the director’s discretion).PART ONE: OUT OF THE WOODS PROLOGUE CONNOR inspects a door. CONNOR: There’s a number of features you have to take inte account. This is a good model, good solid wood, nice coat of paint, nice look to it, It’s heavy. Tt swings well—see that swing’? Really relaxed on the hinges, I'm not doing very much, yeah? That's just the natural momentum— that’s good. Loeation’s really important. People go for the bedroom one usually, but then it’s on their terms. Then after it’s happened, you're in your room, which is where they'd tell you to go anyway. You're incarcer- ating yourself. So | prefer one like this—middle of the house, near the living room, nice echocy hallway. Lovely acoustics here, good solid resonance. And then yeu loosen the thing up—sce, there’s that swing. Really beautiful movement, does half the work for you. And then... you just say the magic words. MUM and DAD enter, mid-argument with CONNOR. MUM: Connor Nicholls, don’t you dare go an/ CONNOR: /T said, leave me the fuck alone! He swings the door and if slams, loudly. Beat. And that’s a good door. SCENE ONE CONNOR: The most annoying thing about Mum and Dad... is they used to be kind of nice. If] think back, I can remember some good stuff—like this one time, after we finished painting the side of the house: The three stand in weary silence, viewing a wall. DAD puts an arm around CONNOR.2 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU DAD: Job, mate. CONNOR: Or this evening a couple of months ago: MUM is on fhe couch, as CONNOR enters, MUM: Hi, Connor. CONNOR: Hi, Mum. MUM: Friday night—you going out? CONNOR: Um... no, No, I reckon I'll stay in. MUM: Oh—okay. You want a cup of tea? CONNOR: Nah. He sits down beside her. What are you watching? MUM: An SBS thing—it’s about insects, CONNOR: Oh, yeah? They sit together, in contented silence. Oreven this, when we hired a dumb boat las went wrong. All are frustrated. MUM goes for the oars. MUM: Look, will you just let me/ ‘CONNOR: /T can do it, Mum!/ MUM: /We’ve been going the wrong way for half an h/ DAD: /Just give her the oars, Connor! summer and everything Jn the struggle, an oar goes overboard. A tense silence... broken hy all laughing. CONNOR: Even some of the arguments are cool, Bul not anymore. Not since they got all weird and crazy. DAD holds his wallet. DAD: What does ‘I don’t know’ mean?! CONNOR: ‘I don’t know’ means I don’t know! DAD: You don’t know where it’s gone? CONNOR: That’s what [ said, didn’t 1?! DAD: /I’m not asking what you said—I'm asking you for the truth! There’s a twenty-dollar note missing from my wallet and I think the person who took it was yo! CONNOR; fYeah, and maybe your wife took it "cause you're always so tight, and you never buy any of us anything, and every single pennyPART ONE 3 B0cs of af extension that you don’t even need, ‘cause I'll be gone as soon as I can, and then you've got this whole stupid house all to yourselves! Silence. DAD: You don’t fight fair, Connor. CONNOR: ... [don’t want to fight at all. DAD: Mm, He walks away. CONNOR: Later that day, I buy twenty dollars worth of mixed lollies. And at dinner we don’t talk about it, And the next day we don’t. And since then we haven’t really. “Cause... when T was growing up, this house had lots of different volume settings. You could tur it from one to ten—and sometimes breakfasts were pretty quiet and dinners were loud. Or sometimes we were all getting ready in the moming, which was noisy, but then in the evening we sat in the garden and that was relaxed. Only now there’s just one volume: this really loud one where it’s them shouting at me... Or me shouting at them, Or everyone shouting. And it’s because... [ don’t know why. SCENE THO CONNOR elimbs onto a bus. CONNOR: Ugh. He hands over ma No response from the DRIVER. And... can I have my ticket please? DRIVER: Yeah—when you give me eighty more cents. It’s two dollars forty. CONNOR: Yeah—and I’m a student. So it’s one dollar sixty. DRIVER: Well, look. CONNOR: What are you pointing at? | don’t even know what you're pointing at so/ DRIVER: /That sign—which I’m pointing at—says if you're a student, then you show me a student ID, That's how I know you're a student. CONNOR: Well—I am one. So give me a ticket.PART ONE 5 And can anyonc tell me what’s immediately different about these paintings, compared to the ones we just saw’... Anyone’? A muffled response. ‘They're more gay’... Thank you, Gavin, for that wonderful insight. ‘You are in fact correct—the work you're standing in front of was painted by a gay man. So I suppose... well done—your artistic “gaydar’ seems to be in perfect working order. Others giggle, Okay! Moving on this way we come to Renoir who I believe—and correct me if I’m wrong here, Gavin—was a heterosexual. You can see... TIMO: You're scowling... Connor, CONNOR: What? TIMO: You're scowling. CONNOR: I feel artsick.6 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU TIMO: Is that a thing? CONNOR: I just invented it. Copyright Art’s just... so annoying! Like, look al it. Look: places you'll never go, people who look weird (two cyes on one side of their face, whatever that’s about), girls who are hot but who you can’t get with “cause they don’t cxist. Or they did, but only a hundred ycars ago, and they’re dead now. TIMO: Yeah—don’t get with dead chicks. That's important. CONNOR: Or... or, look—some stuff that’s so... blobby and abstract you can’t even see what it is! Like, you know the artist started off locking at something normal, like fruit or a building or stuff, and ended up with that piece of shit. I sometimes think the entire art world was specifically created to piss me off. ‘TIMO: ... Maybe, yeah, Beat. CONNOR: Which painting did you copy, for the assignment? TIMO: The blue one back there, CONNOR: The girl one? TLMO: Yeah. CONNOR: Let me sce. [He studies the clipboard] You've... there’s a lot of attention given to her boobs. TIMO: Yeah, I know. CONNOR: It’s... pretty much all her boobs, Timo. TIMO: Yeah, it’s Impressionism. | looked at the picture, and | drew my impression of it. CONNOR: Her topless? TIMo: Yeah. CONNOR: ... I think you'll get in trouble. TIMO: Mim. The great artists do. CONNOR: Can I sec that? Timo: [handing it aver] Sure. CONNOR studies it, then quickly scribbles on it. CONNOR: Ha! TIMO: Connor! You drew a dick on her! CONNOR: And balls. TIMO: You drew a dick and balls on her! Ms Fletcher, Connor dick-n- balled my art!PART ONE 7 TEACHER: [not listening] So what he was saying with the lilies is that this is what a lily rea/ly looks like, It doesn’t appear perfect and flat and dead. The light hits it, and the other lilies pull our focus away from it, and the shadows eatch it. And most importantly our brain witnesses not a perfect lily, but a distortion, okay? So when you see a... a lily pond on a summer’s day, the colours do merge into cach other. And it is blurry. [A mumbled comment] This is not about my having glasses, Gavin! This is about the human eye, everyone’s human eye! [Mtmble] No, not blind people... [Afumble] Yes, | know their perception is different—they're blind. [Mrnble] Yes, there are some blind artists. [Mumble] Yes, blind painters. [Mumble] No, not the guy from My Left Foot. [Mumble] He used his foot, [Mumble] His left one!/ JOkay! Class, go on ahead. Gavin and I are going to have a little talk about responsible use of a teacher’s patience. Go on, bugger off and finish your sketches. They wander off. CONNOR: Ugh! Look at that one too. It pisses me off. TIMO: I know. It didn’t used to, but. CONNOR: Well... everyone's become really annoying lately. Don't you teckon? TIMO: Now? No. CONNOR: Nah, not now, Just... in general, Doesn't it just make you...? Arrgeh?! TIMO: Nab. CONNOR: Right. And why’s that? Timo: Well... Usually I’m stoned. CONNOR: Mm. TIMO: Or asleep. Yeah—if I had to describe myself, it’d be one of those two, Like right now—I'm not asleep. So I must be! CONNOR: /I get it, yeah. [Pause.] Even you, if I'm being honest. Even though you're my best mate... you wind me up sometimes too. TIMO: Well... that’s alright. You make me sleepy a bit. CONNOR: Yeah? TIMO: When you talk and stuff. You talk a lot, and if we're being honest, I’m less into talking. More into sle’ CONNOR: /Sleeping, yeah, I get it.8 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU TIMO: Mm. Or/ CONNOR: /Getting stoned. | know. Tmo: I just... | don’t think ’'m very complicated. CONNOR; ... I would have to agree. [Beat] You want to go look at more art? TIMO: | thought you were artsick. CONNOR: Just... come on. They wander off. SCENE FOUR CONNOR and SEANNAH sit side by side in detention. MR BRENNER stands up front. MR BRENNER; So the six of you will be with me for one hour, and then you can go back to... snilTing glue or whatever it is you all do these days, CONNOR: [muffling a comment as a cough] Lame joke, MRBRENNER: Great, two hours for you then, Connor, Fine with me—I’ve got marking to do. CONNOR groans. No more coughs then? Now, I’m off to the staff room to get a coffee. Anyone else want any- thing? [Lavghing] And of course I don’t care. [He heads ont.) No talking or that’s another hour with Connor and I. CONNOR raises fis hand. Yeah’? CONNOR: ‘Connor and me’, sir. ‘Another hour with Conor and me’ ... SEANNAH laughs. MR BRENNER goes to say something, then exils. CONNOR waves after him, then focuses on SEANNAIL So... detention. SEANNAH: ... Yup. CONNOR: Seannah Pavlich is in detention. SEANNAH: Just... say what you see, Connor, CONNOR: What'd you do? SEANNAH: Forgot my uniform.PART ONE 9 CONNOR: Mm, Silence. You want to know what I did? SEANNAH: ... Okay. CONNOR: Smashed some windows along the science wing. With a basketball. SEANNAH: Was that you? CONNOR: Yup—on the weekend. SEANNAH: How’d you get caught? CONNOR: Parents saw it in the newsletter. Worked out it was me ‘cause they saw me head off with the ball. Found glass on my clothes. SEANNAH: They dob you in? CONNOR: They’re fucks. [Zea?.] Your clothes look weird. SEANNAH: They’re the festy ones they make you wear, from the box in the office. Everyone’s worn them. It’s the grossest punishment ever. connor: Ha. Just hope Pissy Pants Pete didn’t have them before you. SEANNAII: Ha! Shut up—gross. CONNOR: Nah, just kidding. You still look nice in them. [Beat.] So... what you doing after detention? SEANNAH: I don’t know. CONNOR; You,., want to hang out? SEANNAIT: What? CONNOR; Later, You want to hang out later? SEANNAH; Um... I reckon I'll be hanging out with Dane then. With my boyfriend then. CONNOR; Oh, right. SEANNAL: My bayftiend that you know I’ve got. CONNOR: Yeah—and maybe I didn’t mean it like that. Maybe J meant friends. SEANNAH: You so meant it like that. CONNOR: I so didn’t, [Removing his focus from her] Skank. SEANNAH: What'd you call me?! CONNOR; Nothing. A skank. SEANNAH: Well, they’re pretty different, Connor. You call me nothing, means you called me nothing. You call me a skank—means you're a tosser.10 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU CONNOR: Or... means [’m observant. SEANNAH: Of what? What—means that I skank around, and you're call- ing me on it? Yeah, the way Tact like such a skank by not shagging you beeause I’ve got a boyfriend. What a skanky thing of me to do. CONNOR: Just... shut up. SEANNAIT: Like I’d ever mess around with you anyway—you’re a joke, boy. CONNOR: Yeah, and you’re a moll so... Whatever. Stinking out the deten- tion roo/ SEANNAH: /It’s a loan uniform! The uniform’s what stinks! CONNOR: Mm... SEANNAH: And check this! At the end of the day, I’ll take the uniform off. And I'll have a shower, and then there’ll be nothing wrong with me. CONNOR: Contentious. SEANNAH; But you'll get home, you'll take off your uniform—and you'll still suck. CONNOR: Wow—scary, SEANNAH: Yeah. Your dumb face will still be your dumb face, Connor. Your no friends will still be your no friends. You are what you ar/ CONNOR upends his desk, What're you doing, you psycho?! Mr Brenner—Connor’s gone mental! SCENE FIVE CONNOR: So after that Mum and Dad went all crazy as usual. CONNOR and his parents face off. DAD: You don’t throw a desk, Connor! That is not something you do! CONNOR: But... you’re wrong, Dad! "Cause I did actually throw one so that was a thing that happened! MUM: /Stop being smart! CONNOR: I can’t help it, Mum! It’s your and Dad's amazing intellectual genes that [’ve inherited! I just can’t thank you enough for the/ MUM: /It’s just childish!/ DAD: /You don’t talk to us like that!/ MUM: /Can’t we just have one meal wheresPART O! IL CONNOR: ‘Yeah, about that, Mum—this curry, it’s... it’s basically racist to Indians it’s that bad! MUM: /What are you even talking about? CONNOR: You brought me up not to be racist but then you’re doing this to our friends in the East and I’m just getting really mixed messa/ DAD: [rising] Right! That's it! He’s going to Uncle Mal’s! A backpack is placed on his shoulders and flowers in his hands. A car is heard roaring off and CONNOR gives if the finger, CONNOR: Love you, Mother and Father! [Beat.] I consider leaving the flowers on the porch, and just going off and... and finding a park somewhere, and lighting a fire, and befriending some homeless guys, and writing some bad poetry about the crazy stuff we get up to living beyond the law! .-- But then I remember I’m too soft for any of that stuff, and just gel annoyed at myself for being weak. MAL and LORRAINE open the door. Hi, Unele Mal. Hi, Aunty Lorraine, Thanks for hf MAL: /That’s enough, Connor. Heard you made your mum cry. And your mum’s my sister-in-law, and a good woman, and I get upset knowing she was crying. And usually I'd look at decking someone who did that. But you're her son, which means my nephew, which means | can’t. Which is a pity. So get inside and watch the telly with us. ‘Antique Roadshow’'s on, and that’s my favourite programmes LORRAINE: /And mine too. MAL: And Lorraine's too. So we don’t want no back-tall. But you are allowed to discuss the prices with us, or any obscrvations you might have about the English countryside—they’re in Gloucester tonight. Tt’s lovely. They ga and sit, CONNOR follows. CONNOR: Living at Uncle Mal House is something Mum and Dad have come up with when I push them too far—which is three times before this. But usually just overnight—this time it’s a weck. [He waiches MAL and LORRAINE. ] And even though | hate admitting it, it’s a pretty clever punishment,12 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU MAL; That is an excellent clock! CONNOR: *Cause when they were kids, Dad and Mal’s parents split up, and Dad went to live with his mum and her posh family. And so he ‘went to uni and now he’s an antique book dealer and a bit soft (which T guess is why genetically I'm a bit soft too). Whereas Uncle Mal went with his dad to Coober Pedy, and learnt how to box from the Croatian kids, and leamt heaps about explosives, and killed a full-size kangaroo on his fourteenth birthday. Now they've moved back to the city, and Mal’s met Aunty Lorraine (she washes old people for a living—even their balls and stuff). And Mum says he’s calmed down a fair bit/ MAL: ‘Eight hundred pounds! What's that in dollars, love? LORRAINE: Just over a grand, I reckon. MAL: Yeah? “Bout twenty per cent more, is it? LORRAINE: Something like that. MAL: Right. A thousand dollars... Hey, Connor? How’s that, for a tea set?! CONNOR: ... So he’s not a hothead anymore. But he was onc, so he knows about teenagers, and he knows how to deal with me. ‘Yeah, Uncle Mal. That’s heaps. MAL Jaughs and rubs CONNOR § head. MAL: He’ll keep. Hey, Lorraine? He’s not a complete write-off yet. Su ¢ SEX CONNOR stands beside a car, while MAL lies beneath it, shouting te communicate. MAL: There’s only two parts to a car, Connor. The part J can touch, which is everything, And the part you can, which is bugger-all, Hand me an oil gauge. CONNOR: What's that? MAL: Long, thin metal thing, CONNOR: Oh. He hands it down. Sorry.PART ONE 13 MAL: °S alright. You don’t know once, just ‘cause you weren’t taught. But you don’t know twice, means you're not listening and have to clean the toilets. CONNOR: The stuff he says makes sense—only I wish it didn’t. The bell rings and a LADY stands at the door. There’s a lady at the roller door, Uncle Mal. MAL: Well, go help her, ya nong. I’m busy with the car. CONNOR sighs and goes to her CONNOR: Yeah? LADY: I'm here to get a quote. CONNOR: What for? LADY: Four new tyres and I think someone to look at the engine too. CONNOR: What's wrong with it? LADY; It’s making a noise. CONNOR: ... What noise? LADY: You work here? CONNOR: Coursc. This is my garage. LADY: You’re young. CONNOR: I look young. What noise? LADY: [pausing] A... ‘nangananganangananganan’... kind of like that. CONNOR: Right. Was there a ‘chikkachikkachikkachikka’ happening too’? LADY: ... Are you joking? CONNOR: Nah—usually if there’s a ‘nangananganangananganan’, there’s often a “chikkachikkachikkachikka’ along with il, If there is, means it’s the. .. gasket. LADY: ... No. Just the ‘nangananganan* CONNOR: Just the ‘nangananganan’, okay. What year’s the car? LADY: Ninety-seven, I think. CONNOR: Oh no, If it’s a ninety-seven, there’d definitely be a ‘chikkachikkachik’ with the ‘nangananganan’. LADY: You’re making fun of me. CONNOR: Never. Have you had the... coaxials changed recently? LADY: What are.,.? I don’t know what those are. CONNOR: Square things. Either side of the... alternator. Sprocket. LADY: ... No I haven’t, Maybe my husband has, I’m not sure.PART ONE, 13 MAL: °S alright. You don’t know once, just *cause you weren't taught. But you don’t know twice, means you're not listening and have to clean the toilets. CONNOR: The stuff he says makes sense—only | wish it didn’t. The bell rings and a LADY stands at the door. There’s a lady at the roller door, Uncle Mal. MAL: Well, go help her, ya nong. I’m busy with the car. CONNOR sighs and goes to her: CONNOR: Yeah? LADY: I’m here to get a quote. CONNOR: What for? LADY: Four new tyres and | think someone to look at the engine too. CONNOR: What’s wrong with it? LADY! It’s making a noise. CONNOR: ... What noise? LADY: You work here? CONNOR: Course. This is my garage. LADY: You're young. CONNOR: I look young. What noise? LADY: [pausing] A... ‘nangananganangananganan’ ... kind of like that. CONNOR: Right. Was there a ‘chikkachikkachikkachikka® happening too? LADY: ... Are you joking? CONNOR: Nah—usually if there’s a ‘nangananganangananganan’, there’s often a ‘chikkachikkachikkachikka’ along with it. If there is, means it’s the... gasket. LADY: ... No, Just the ‘nangananganan*. CONNOR: Just the ‘nangananganan’, okay. What year’s the car? LADY: Ninety-seven, | think. CONNOR: Oh no. If it’s a ninety-seven, there'd definitely be a *chikkachikkachik’ with the ‘nangananganan’. LADY: You’re making fun of me. CONNOR: Never, Have you had the... coaxials changed recently? LADY: What are...? I don't know what those are. CONNOR: Square things. Either side of the... alternator. Sprocket. LADY: ... No | haven’t. Maybe my husband has, I’m not sure.14 THE VIOLENT QUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU CONNOR: That'd be it then. The ninety-sevens really build up the ‘nang- a-nangs’ once the coaxials are... (ha). LADY: What was that? You’re laughing!/ CONNOR: Nah I’m not, Was there a [blowing @ raspberry] ‘phhhhmbh- mbhmhmhmhmhp’/ LADY: /Alright, you little shi CONNOR: /’Cause if there was a ‘phhhhmhmhmhmhmhmhp’, then T could forgive the absence of a ‘chikkachikka’ and guess it wa! LADY: /You have no right to’ MAL: /Hey, hey, hey! Silence. What's going on? LADY: Is this his garage? MAL: Is this hit No, of course it’s bloody not. He’s sixteen years old. LADY: He said he owns it. MAL: You little/ LADY: /And then he’s just spent a while having a laugh at me. CONNOR: It was pretty funny! MAL: /Quiet, Connor! [Bear] I’m real sorry about that. My nephew is. forgetting his manners a bit these days. Now, what can I help you with? LADY: Well... you cou/d have helped me with four new tyres and some engine work. But now you can help by recommending another garage to go to. Silence. MAL: Sure, Miss. LHe writes on some paper] Brian’s a mate of mine. He's a good guy—te’ll sort a fair price. LADY: Thanks. [Pawse.] You seem nice so 1, and my money, won't give up on you altogether. But if | do come back in the future, will this idiot boy still be here? Beat. MAL: Miss, you're right—1 am nice. And Brian will do you a good deal. And this boy was being cheeky/ CONNOR: /T wasn’t being anything! / MAL: /Quiet, Connor!PART ONE, 15 [Zo the LADY] He was cheeky—but that doesn’t mean he’s an idiot. So you take your judgments ont the door, and you don’t need to worry about you—or your money—coming back to see me anytime later. *Bye. Silence. MAL and the LADY stare at each other Finally she crumples and drops the paper, turns and leaves, ‘What the hell was that about?’ CONNOR: ‘I’m sorry, oka! MAL! /I don’t care, Connor. Sorry’s just a word people say after they’ve done something stupid. And all I care about’s why you’ ve done some- thing stupid. You're old enough—and clever enough—to know better. You got good parents who love you, no matter how much you try to make them not. And [know you think what you're going through’s just a phase. And itis. But what maybe you don’t know, Connor—what no-one told me—is some phases, they have memories... that hang around for years afler they’re done. And those memories... they’re the awful bit. They’re the most embarrassing things you’ ll ever feel, and you'll kecp feeling them, for a long time. I'm only saying this ‘cause... I know them. And *cause I don’t want you to always be carrying them round like I do, still now. So you finish your phase. And you finish it soon. "Kay? Beat. CONNOR: Well, I’d rather have my phases, Uncle Mal... than the boring fucking life you all do. They stare at each other in silence. SCENE SEVEN CONNOR and TIMO are in a Kitchen, CONNOR inspects cupboards, TIMO: What'd you do? OoNNOR: Piss him off. TIMO; Hey, everyone at school says you chucked a desk. CONNOR: That’s ‘cause I did.PART ONE i7 connor: Why’s everyone doing that?! He pushes TIMO. Why’s everyone allowed to explain my life to me?! TIMo: What the hell? He pushes back. ‘You're in my kitchen, man! CONNOR: Yeah— your fucking foodless latchen! He takes a coin from his pocket and tosses it at TINO. Buy yourself'a sandwich, you fucking pov, He is punched. The punch is returned. Both wrestle furiously. Finally T™MO throws him away and halts proceedings, raising his hands in placation. TIMO: Leave it there, man. Let’s just take a breath and/ CONNOR throws a sneaky punch. TIMO is knocked unconscious. Silence, CONNOR stands, iaaking at TIMQ. CONNOR: Timo... Timo mate. You okay, yeah? Timo.. SCENE EIGHT MUM and DAD sift in a car, with CONNOR in the back, They drive. CONNOR: I still don’t know where we're going. You're still not talking to me. ‘You both still suck. MUM: [both ignoring and baiting CONNOR] Oh! Look what I bought, love. DAD: A spoken word album... by Stephen Fry! Reading his own book. about himself—Stephen Fry! Called... The Stephen Firy Chronicles— of course it is! You like him, don’t you, Jude’? MUM: I love him. And you too, yeah? DAD; Absolutely! He’s very clever, And so we all love him! Everyone in this car loves Stephen Fry! MUM: ... Oh. Except Conmor. CONNOR: Kill me now.18 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU Mum: Yes. I just remembered that Connor doesn ? like Stephen Fry, be- cause he thinks he’s ‘outdated and boring’... CONNOR: I knew you’re mocking me/ DAD: /And how’s this for outdated and boring? We're going to listen to his album... on a cassette tape!/ MUM: /Four cassette tapes!/ DAD: /On four cassette tapes! While sitting ina Volvo! And sharing ther- mos coffee! How outdated and boring can we get?! CONNOR: Have you got some hose you can feed in my window from the exhaust? Any hose is fine. The tape begins. MUM: His voice is so soothing. DAD: It really is, love. CONNOR: Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou... The tape plays on, with a sense of time passing. CONNOR enacis protests, then falls asleep, END OF PART ONEPART TWO: INTO THE WOODS SCENE NINE MUM: Love... Love. Wake up—we're here. CONNOR: Wha/ Oh. Where’s here? MUM: Here is! ‘CONNOR: /A forest... DAD: ¥cah—a beautiful, quict forest. It’s not on any maps. CONNOR: Well... neither’s Hell, Dad. DAD: That's true. CONNOR: But... we're not going camping. DAD: No. ‘CONNOR: ‘Cause we didn’t pack any tents. DAD: That’s right. CONNOR: So... what are we doing? MUM: We ‘re not doing anything, Connor. You are. CONNOR: What? All chmb from the car, as DAD removes Connors bag and provisions. A weathered shack is seen, sat in the middle ofa forest. You packed my clothes! MUM: We packed everything —clothes, food, matches, sleeping bag. CONNOR: Why'd I need a,., Oh, no way! DAD: You keep saying you want time alone. CONNOR: Yeah, not in the middle of a forest! DAD: Well, your favourite movie’s about that—Jnto the Wild, with the young guy who goes out to Alaska and lives in/ CONNOR: /He died, Dad! Do you want me to die? To starve to death like him?! MUM: It was actually poisoning, that’s what did it. DAD: That's right—with the berries. He thought he could/ CONNOR: /And what? Is that it?! Is that the ‘shack’? That's the death trap you plan to/ DAD: Al came up last weekend, and checked it all out. You don’t even need/20 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU CONNOR: ‘You planned this! This definitely goes against the UN Con- vention on the Rights of the Child! You two are locking at breaking ‘both federal and intemational child protection laws—do you realise the repercus/ MUM: /Connor! Silence. Listen—everyone you are coming into contact with, you are fighting against, Things are going from bad to worse with you and us, Mal and Lorraine say they’re worried about you. The school’s about to expel you. You punched your best friend!/ CONNOR: ‘Well, maybe it’s ‘cause... he’s dumb—*cause you're all dumb! Maybe that’s the problem. DAD: You argue with everyone. You are angry... with everyone. So we're giving you time away—tfrom everyone, CONNOR: I am not angry! You are! An awkward silence. Look, don’t do this. It’s—this is not safe, Dad, Mum. You... Maybe ‘you think what you're doing is right. But it’s not. ‘This is not right. Do you see? Pause. DAD: You've got a week/ CONNOR: /Ugghhh!/ DAD: /One week to clear your head, go walking, fish, do whatever you need. And then we pick you up. Then we can talk about getting to a good place again. CONNOR: I am tedling you that if you do this, I will never/ MUM: /If we dor t do this, Connor... Right now I’m more worried about what happens if we don’t do this. Beat. DAD steps towards CONNOR to hug him. He lurches back. CONNOR: Don’t you dare... Both accept this and get back in the car. MUM: We lowe you. DAD: We bath love you. CONNOR hears the car leave, then acknowledges his surrounds,PART TWO. 21 Beat. He screams and lashes out, striking wildly at everything and nothing around him. CONNOR: This is bullshit! Forests are bullshit! Dumb houses that my dumb, dead granddad made are bullshit! He’s bullshit!,.. [never met him, but he’s still bullshit! His sons are bullshit! The women they married are bullshit! The lives they have and the houses and the jobs and the... and the world they live in and the Volvos they drive and their garages and washing old men’s balls and Stephen Fry and Timo and the Impressionists and the Futurists and the Dadaists and... no internet and no buildings and just... trees and just rivers and... this air, and... you all... sitting there with your dumb faces and... those creatures and... whatever that thing is that’s crawling on my jeans and... being here and... and... being me here and... it’s all just... Silence. Slowly CONNOR calms and heads into the shack. SCENE TEN Birdsong. Nature—a sense of calm and beautitude, A stick flies across the stage, shattering the peace, and the sound is heard of a bird taking flight. CONNOR emerges, wet and muddy, wearing a bandanna. CONNOR: Come back here, Breakfast! That’s your name—Breakfast! And tell your friends—it’s their name too! It’s all your names! Dejected, he sits and writes. Day... Two: Hunting’s not going very well. | even stood in a river for a bit and covered myself in nud so they wouldn’t get my scent, but they’re surprisingly smart. Over the next couple of days, I do lots of different stuff. The sense of a montage, as CONNOR moves from one event to the next, and in the same manner also narrates: I communicate with nature. He kicks at a tree, repeatedly. [think about my family. He is screaming and giving wild double middle-fingers to his surrounds.22 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU 1 go for walks. He trudges, erying and lost. Isleep, He tries to lie still, before wildly flailing at mosquitoes and screaming. invent homebrew vodka by fermenting potatoes, He studies a jug full of strange liquid. He takes a big gulp, pauses, then smiles. Yeah, it’s pretty alright actually. Kind of a sweet aftertaste but aside from tha/ He promptly vomits. For a white. Sorry about that—all good now. I get to/ He vomits again. For another while. Slowly he regains his composure. T get to... He retches... but controls himself: 1 get to know the shack. He kicks at the shack, repeatedly. And I build this. He displays a rudimentary bow and arrow, fashioned from branches and a shoelace. This is proper MacGyver stylees. It’s called the... the Connor Nicholls Turbo Ulira Death-Fighter Bow and Arraw Combo Killer 3000, and it’s basically the best model out there—ifall you’ve got is wood and shoelaces. It probably can’t do anything but! LOTTE enters wearing a backpack. ‘Hello, CONNOR tums, accidentalty releasing the arrow, If shoots aff and lands embedded in a tree right beside LOTTE 5 head. Silence, Both look at the arrow in shock. Snapping out of it, LOTE heads for CONNOR.PART TWO: 23 CONNOR: Oh my God, I’m so sorry and I don’t mean to let it go and what are you! She kicks him in the balls and he falls, rolling on the ground. Ow! Ow, devil woman! What the hell are you doing?! Beat. LOTTE: Could have killed me. SCENE ELEVEN Bath sit together on the porch. CONNOR: I can’t believe you kicked me in the balls LOTTE: And J can’t believe you nearly shot me in the face. CONNOR: Couldn't... couldn’t have made it look... much worse. LOTTE: Oh, real funny, Stutter Guy. Are you a... are you a comedian? CONNOR: Maybe Tam. Maybe I'm a wicked comedian. Maybe I'm the funn/ LOTTE: /Yeah—and maybe you suck/ CONNOR: /Oh, goad. T suck. Well, that’s good to know/ LOTTE: /Well, you should know/ CONNOR: /Well, now I do. Thank you. Thanks for telling me’ LOTTE: /No problem. You bad to hear it sometime/ ‘CONNOR: /And now I have, so! Lol SO... CONNOR: ... Yeah. LOTTE: Yup. Great chat. Silence. What're you even doing here? You some weird survivalist guy or something? ‘CONNOR: Nah. I’m a prisoner of conscience. LOTTE: .. CONNOR: Im staying in my granddad’s shack "cause my dumb parents kicked me out. LOTTE: Oh. CONNOR: What about you? LOTTE: Mineare even more dumb—they came with me. We’re camping near the river back there.PART TWO, 25 of cordial and gave it to Melissa Towney who's a Year Eleven bitch, and she drank it. Beat. CONNOR: Yours are... pretty bad too. LOTTE: Mm, That’s kind of the other reason we're in the bush, as well as Mum and Dad doing yoga together in the mornings—which is prob- ably the lamest thing in the world. Have you ever seen your dad doing Downward Dog? CONNOR: No. LOTTE: Good—it’s a form of child abuse. Beat. CONNOR: You sound... angry. LOTTE: I am angry. CONNOR: *Cause of... cause of them breaking up and stuff? LOTTE; Nah, just "cause... [Beat.] Cause of everything, [Gesturing to herself] This. Me. "Cause my brain... feels older than | am, But eve- ryone sees me as younger than | am. So no-one pays attention to any shit I say. But I’m growing tits, so everyone pays attention to those! CONNOR: /I’m not! What? Nothing! LOTTE: ... Everyone's asking me what I want to be, But I don’t know what I want te be. | know what | fucking doa? want to be. And that's... sixteen. Beat. CONNOR; Yeah, That kinda makes sense, LOTTE: Well—don’i make the mistake of thinking I’m smarter than | am. CONNOR: ... Okay. LOTTE: ... You're doing it. CONNOR: I'm trying not to. She gets up and begins exiting. Where you going? LOTTE: ... That way, CONNOR: Why? LOTTE: Oh, I’m sorry, friend. Because... none-of-your-business. I need. a piss.26 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU CONNOR: ... Right. LOTTE: Girls do them sometimes. CONNOR: Yeah, I know. He laughs. LOTTE: What? CONNOR: You’re funny. You’re... It’s niee to have some company. LOTTE: Oh God, make that a piss anda vomié. I gotta go anyway, See you tomorrow. ‘CONNOR: Oh. Right then. “Bye. LOTTE exits. CONNOR stares after her. SCENE TWELVE LOTTE sneaks up on CONNOR, who is attempting to whittle. LOTTE: Stop masturbating!/ CONNOR: /Ah! [’m not! What?! LOTTE: [cracking up] Best response ever. What're you doing? CONNOR: Whittling. LOTTE: How big was it before? CONNOR: ... Bout the same size—I’m not much good at it. I did cut my hand though, look, Hardcore. LOTTE: Impressive. CONNOR: I might show it to my perries when they pick me up. Say I’m self-harming. LOTTE: Can you grow an emo fringe too? And become straight-edge? And get cobweb tattoos on your face? CONNOR: Nice. [Beat.] So... you kissed your best mate’s boyfriend? LOTTE: Yeah, What a bitch, hey? CONNOR: I’m not judging —I knocked my best mate out. LOTTE: Did you kiss him too? CONNOR: Just the punch. LOTTE: So you get in fights? That's what you do? CONNOR: Nah—not my style. Untrue! I have only been in one proper one. Luke Caruso told every- one at school I was born without male genitalia and had to have an operation when I was a kid to get balls attached.Drama & Speech - Trinity College London in Australia PART TWO 27 LOTTE: Is that truc? CONNOR: No. What? Of course it’s not! Anyway, after that I had to fight him on the oval. LOTTE: And how'd that work out for you? CONNOR: Yeah, pretty good. First I cheeked him in the fist. Then I stom- ached him in the knee, Then I delivered a wicked nose bleed and cried abil. LOTTE: Sounds amazing. CONNOR: Mm. But at least everyone knew I was really a guy after that. LOTTE: How? connor: Luke dacked me, and they all saw everything. LOTTE: And, that’s a wrap. Inever got in one. CONNOR: No? LOTTE: Nup. After the weeing in the cordial thing with Mclissa Towney, she wanted to. Fight me. So the next day she came to my home room, when the teacher wasn’t round yet, and she had the whole of our year with her pretty much, CONNOR: "Cause they all wanted to see. LOTTE: Mm. And she said, ‘I'm gonna make you bleed, skank’. CONNOR: Good line. LOTTE: Riveting. And so I said, ‘Okay—I'll get started for you’. And Ireached back and... [miming if] ... smashed this massive window behind me—without taking my eyes off her. CONNOR: Jesus.. LOTTE: And then when I brought my hand back in front of me it was bleeding pretty bad. And [ held it out to her, and smiled, and said, ‘How's that for a first go? Or shall we try for some more?” Pause. CONNOR: That's acrwaily mental. LOTTE: Yeah—that’s what everyone kind of thought. So no-one’s really messed with me since then. Silence. LOTTE leans in to kiss CONNOR. CONNOR: Woah. Hey—what’s that? LOTTE: If... you can’t identify it, that’s a bit weird. CONNOR: T mean—why are you kissing me?28 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU LOTTE: Um—why are you not? CONNOR: .,. I don’t know you, LOTTE: That’s kind of the point. Most guys, the more I know about them, the less T wanna kiss them. Migh’s well do it now while you still seem abit alright, CONNOR: Oh, yeah. They kiss. And part. You taste like corn chips/ LOTTE: /We had guacamole for lunch’ CONNOR: /Cool. She studies the shack. LOTTE: So can I see your hovel? CONNOR: It’s a shack. LOTTE: Oh, I’m sorry. I meant to say, ‘Can I see your hovel?’ CONNOR: You're mean. They head inside—the ensuing discussion is heard. It’s been here ages, I reckon LOTTE; Will it collapse on my head? CONNOR: Only if you move. Or breathe. Pause. LOTTE: It’s kind of beautiful—in a falling-downy way. CONNOR: I hate it. But then I also hate being at home, or at school, or at Timo’s—or anywhere really. LOTTE: Hardcore. So was it the same hardcore who laid out the tablecloth? And put those flowers in a vase? CONNOR: No! ... Yes. I know it’s wei, LOTTE: /It's nice. That’s a nive thing to do. They return outside. You really hate it? CONNOR: It’s a collapsing shack, in the middle of God-knows-where, in which my loving parents have left their one and only son, to be angry. Beat, LOTTE considers this and picks up a rock. LOTTE: Well, don’t let them down.PART TWO 29 CONNOR: What? She throws the rock through the window. You just—did you see that?! LOTTE: I just died that! CONNOR: /You just did that! You just... smashed my window. LOTTE: It’s not yours. It’s a ‘collapsing shack, in the middle of God- knows-where’ CONNOR: Yeah... He picks up a rock and considers it Screw you, hovel! fle throws it. He misses the window, Beat. LOTTE: ... That was a bit shit. She hands him another. He smashes the window. Stlence, CONNOR stares atit. Resalved, he heads inside and LOTTE follows. The sound of destruction is heard from within. Finally a chair exits through the window and the pair emerge, content. They kiss. CONNOR: That’s what happens... if they think losing me in a forest... will calm me down. ‘That's what happens. LOTTE: *Cept you're not. CONNOR: What’? LOTTE: Lost. You're not. You're right where the world wants you: away from everyone, yeah, but still findable when it decides you can come back. You're not lost. CONNOR: I feel like it. LOTTE: Nup. To feel really lost, Connor.. She stares into the forest. He does too. You have to get lost. [Beat.] So—young man that | met in the forest. CONNOR: Yes—young woman that I met in the forest? LOTTE: Would you like... to run into a forest with me? Would you like to fet proper lost, in a proper forest, with me? Beut.30 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU CONNOR: Just run? LOTTE: Just that. CONNOR: With no... maps, or water... LOTTE; And wearing very unsensible shoes, CONNOR; And not a¢ ali checking the impending weather conditions. Not informing anyone of our intended journey, LOTTE; Not even informing us of our intended journey. Do you wanna run with me? Beat. CONNOR: I would love that very much. They pick a direction and exit, running: SCENE THIRTEEN CONNOR and LOTTE run through the forest. Sometimes they stop to make out then return to running. Sometimes they fall and get back up. Some- times they snap branches and then make out again and then run some more. Time passes—the sense of dusk. Finally they stop, both breathless. connor: Oh, my fuek. How far have we gone’? LOTTE: Far. Long way. My God, I... I can’t breathe. Connor: Ha. Me neither, Ha. Shit, we're so... so completely gonna die out here. LOTTE: Yeah, but not for a couple of days at least. CONNOR: Your parents will come looking for us. LOTTE: For me maybe. They don’t know you. They won't come looking for you. Connor: But if I’m with you. Then I'll be saved too. She looks at him, and shakes her head. LOTTE: Ha, CONNOR: What? LOTTE: “Be saved’. [Beat.] Do you... like anything back there, Connor? CONNOR: ... Not really. LOTTE: Well, do you like where we are now? CONNOR: It’s... perfect/PART TWO 31 LOTTE: /Yeah, so what the hell does ‘be saved’ mean? What kind of dumbness would make the idea of leaving somewhere amazing, and then going back to... to breaking-up families and bulls- hit schools and dumb friends and, .. and endless shittiness. .. ever feel like being saved? Silence. CONNOR; Except it’s not really like that with me. LOTTE: Like what? CONNOR: Like... with your family. Like with you having to see that. My parents. .. LOTTE: What—they don’t fight? CONNOR: ... No, actually. Or not with each other. Just... with me. They have to fight all the time with me. So in a... ina stupid way I'm... 1 think | hold them together. Ha. I think our batiles... keep them solid. Never really thought of it Like that. LOTTE: Oh. Oh, well... Good, Connor. Yeah, you have a good think then. ‘You just...32 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU Beat. She watches him. *Cause that’s what... that’s what we’re doing, isn’t it? That’s what you're doing—that’s what this is. You're playing being out here in the forest, with the. .. the smashy-hand chick that you met—that you nearly shot in the face. And you... kissed her a bit. And kissing’s fun—that’s cool, you messed up a shack with her! Oh! And that felt like . relief! Wow, you felt so empowered by that. That was a really... really brave thing of you to do. Of us to do. Punk kids. fuck... And you, you tel! stories—about punching someone, punching your friend. Or... smashing a window! Wow, we're angry. That's anger there. Don’t fuck with us. We're angry young people, yeah. Beat. But then. Then when we've had enough of all that—all this being- crazy... being-crazy-in-a-forest. Then it’s time to go home. Isn’t it? Then it's time to go back home, back to the ones who love you. Who love us! We're so loveable! So fucking... And that’s it. That’s your phase. Done. That was you being angry but that’s okay. “Cause there was never really anything to... to be angry about. You see it now. Just had to... to let off steam, that’s all. CONNOR: You don’t know anything about me LOTTE: /No! And that feels excellent, Connor. That feels really great. I don’t wanna know anything about you. ’Cause.., "cause everyone I know too much about, they tend to turn out @ bit shit. Like now, you're knowing a bit too much about me, aren't you, and you're secing that Dm a bit shit! A bit selfimportant, a bit shouty, yeah? And why’s that? Is it the divorce? Is it the mum’s affair she had? Is it the... the guy who broke up with this girl for no reason? Or her new school maybe—is it that? Some schoolyard thing? Bullying maybe bullying’s bad, isn’t it? Or the... the fucked grades all suddenly piling up—and making you stress out. Making you stress so much your... your fucking hair starts coming out in clumps! That’s a bit shit, isn’t it? For a teenage girl. Is it that?PART TWO 33 Or is it... is it just chemical? Yeah. It’s not circumstantial at all, it’s Just “being a teenager’. That’s what it is, Conner—it’s biology. It’s fucking Biology 101 and... and that's what's turning me into a space cadet. That’s not fun to be around, is it? A chick like that. Mouthing on. Where’s the kissing girl? Where's the... smashing-shit-up-girl from before? She was fun. Let's get her back. CONNOR: Chill out, oka! LOTTE: /Orlet’s not. [She is crying.] Let’s lether go, Connor. Yeah? Let’s let her go off. Into a forest. By herself, Or with some fake-angry guy it doesn’t matter. Just let her... let her walk off, And let that... That'll be the end of it. Yeah. A long silence CONNOR: People’d miss you! LOTTE: ‘Mm. Beat. ‘CONNOR: I would. LOTTE; You don’t even know me, CONNOR: Yeah. Well... that’s what I'd miss. Getting to know you. She stares off. Beat. Nothing I say makes any difference, hey? LOTTE: Mm. Beat. He makes a decision and advances. CONNOR: Alright then. LOTTE: What? CONNOR: Let’s do it. Let’s keep going. You—and the fake-angry guy. Let's get more lost. Properly. Too lost to be found. He waits for her. She joins him. They walk further. SCENE FOURTEEN Night-time, Both lie in a deeper part of the foresl, sedate, maybe post- cvital. Silence. ‘CONNOR: I don’t even know your name.34 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU Pause. She searches her pockets, finds ¢ pen, and writes on his hand, Lotte Han... Hanlon. Nice to meet you, Lotte Hanlon. LOTTE: Nice ta meet you, Connor... CONNOR: Nicholls. LOTTE: Nice to meet you, Connor Nicholls. She writes again. ‘CONNOR: What is it?/ Ob. Now I’ve got your number. LOTTE: 4 number—might not be mine. It works when [’m in civilisation, ‘CONNOR: Thanks. I'll never wash my hand again. LOTTE: You're a sixteen-year-old boy, Connor, I know what sixteen-year- old boys do with their hands. So | urge you to wash them regularly and well. CONNOR: [[aughing] Pretty much everything you say impresses me. LOTTE: Cool. Well, ring me one day and I'll say some more stuff. Silence. Do you know what happens next? If we get found? If we leave the forest? CONNOR: Sure, Um... Pause. He settles into it, ‘We don’t get found. LOTTE: Oh, ‘CONNOR: Yeah. But later tonight we stumble round some more and... we cnd up... standing right back at your camp, in the moonlight. LOTTE: Wow. CONNOR: I know. And then tomorrow you and your family have to go, and so we look at each other and I say ‘goodbye’. And you say... LOTTE: ... ‘Goodbye’. ‘CONNOR: Yup. And I watch you walk away. [Beat.] But. LOTTE: But. CONNOR: But—we make a plan, for later on, for a couple of weeks later, when our lives are back to normal, and no-one would suspect amy- thing. And the plan staris. It starts with you stealing your principal's car again.PART TWO 35 LOTTE: Cool. ‘CONNOR: Yeah. And you fill the tank—and then you come and pick me up. It’s night, and [ stand there waiting, under a thin awning, with the rain falling lightly, A stray dog comes and he sniffs at my heels. He isn’t scared of me, though, and that pleases me more than [ expect. Eventually the car pulls up, and when J jump in the passenger seat, you have a coffee held out already, and the smell of it warms me even before I put it to my lips, As we drive out of my street, you tell me a joke you just heard at the petrol station, and I laugh a little bit, but really I’m staring out the back window watching the dog as it sits there in the rain. It doesn’t go under the shelter and it doesn’t run off either. It just stands there and wails for morning maybe. I don’t know. We drive all through the night, and you never let me share the load. You say I just have to tell jokes and find radio stations and point out things we’ ll tell our kids about in years to come, when we're deserib- ing this drive and what it meant. ‘What does it mean?’ | ask you, and you laugh, ‘That’s a good joke,’ you say, ‘More like that.” There’s this one moment, maybe about four in the momning, when we drive right along the edge of a really high road and all the land below us looks purple and the cows sleep below us in the fields, even though I can’t see them. And | imagine everyone asleep then, that I can’t see, and us awake, and say a little prayer for all of them (not a God prayer but a prayer prayer)—for every one of them with their knees up to their chest or a girl by their side or wrapped tight in their shects or dreaming of being children again. At sunrise we stop at a car yard and share sandwiches that I made, because I’m not a boy at all and do things like that. We kiss on the bonnet of a crumpled-up car, but then you wipe your mouth straight after, and | don’t know if'you have crumbs or if the kiss tasted wrong. And I don’t ask either. You say you'd like to learn to smoke right now, ina moment like this one, and | understand completely, because the sun is cold and it’s so so quiet and the smoke would have done nice things in the sky. After a bit, an old guy with an umbrella walks past us staring and we pocket our cling wrap, and get back in the car, and this time I’m doing36 THE VIOLENT OUTBURST THAT DREW ME TO YOU the driving and you sleep on my shoulder. And I think this is maybe the happiest I've ever been, before or since—and if we just kept driv- ing like this for the rest of my life I would have gone ta heaven, no questions asked. And they would’ve recognised me there But as it is, you wake up an hour or so later and we stop at a town. someway after that, and ditch the car, and get jobs and have kids and buy a dog, and live a long and happy life And now, | still think I'll go to heaven. But I don’t know if they’II recognise me anymore, or if... if I just ended up looking like every other human. They lie in silence. LOTTE: Is that true? CONNOR: Every word, LOTTE: Good. Beat. She moves in, spooning him. CONNOR: Isn’t it meant to be the other way? She shuts her eves. Ife studies her, acknowledges ihis, and setiles in, sleeping also. SCENE FIFTEEN LOTTE wakes and slowly extricates herself from the cuddle. She quietly does up her laces and rises. CONNOR stirs. CONNOR: Where you going? LOTTE: That way. Inced to piss. CONNOR: Mm. He returns to sleep. LOTTE watches him. Silence. She exits. Her footsteps are heard for a long time, growing ever fainter. Finaily there is silence. THE END