THE SIXTH FORM

"Episode 2: D-Devil"

Written by

Jamie Kimathi Milburn

Email Address: jamie.kimathi@hotmail.com

Phone Number: 07954405536
 THE SIXTH FORM

"Episode 2: D-Devil"

TEASER

FADE IN:

EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OF WESTWOOD - NIGHT

We begin with a POV shot from CODY on the ground, where he was
left at the end of the first episode. He blinks and fades in
and out of consciousness, with the song “Dead Boy’s Poem” by
Nightwish plays. A young girl (REMMI) stands over him, holding
out her hand, Cody reaches but fails to make contact, instead
falling back unconscious. On his final coming to, he sees LEON,
the music stops.

LEON
Cody... Wake up you nonce!

CODY
The party?

LEON
Old news I’m afraid, we’ve gotta go.

CODY
Where?

LEON
Don’t worry your little head about it,
we just need to go... now!

Leon and Cody make their way down an alleyway and down a street
until they reach Leon’s house.

INT. LEON’S HOUSE - MOMENTS LATER

They go inside and Leon puts Cody on the sofa.

LEON
There you go.

CODY
Oh fuck me I’m bleeding.

LEON
That time of the month already?

CODY
Fuck off this ain’t a joke, what time
is it?
 2.

LEON
Time you went to that family meal
forty minutes ago.

CODY
Shit.

Cody get’s his phone out and sees many messages and missed
calls.

LEON
Better get a move on bubby, your mum’s
fuming. Called me when I weren’t with
you, and she was beside herself with
worry.

CODY
My mum’s gonna kill me.

LEON
Well better her than Ronnie if he
comes back for round two.

CODY
Best ring her... How did you know it
was Ronnie?

LEON
Lucky guess.

Cody rings his mum (MAUREEN), a diagonal bar across the screen
appears with Cody and Maureen having a conversation.

MAUREEN
Where the fuck are you?

CODY
I’m at leon’s, things kinda got out of
hand--

MAUREEN
(frantic)
Don’t I fucking know, the police are
round right now talking to your
father, you’d better sprint back boy,
or else your birth and death will
coincide on the very same day, and I
won’t give a shit.

POLICE (V.O.)
Mrs McDonald, can I have a word.
 3.

MAUREEN
(suddenly nice)
Certainly officer, I’ll be with you in
a minute.
(angry)
Hurry up you ungrateful--

Cody hangs up. The screen goes back to singular.

INT. CODY’S HOUSE - AT THAT MOMENT

MAUREEN
Uh! The prick hung up on me.

INT. LEON’S HOUSE - AT THAT MOMENT

LEON
She not happy then?

CODY
I’d better go.

LEON
Do you want some company?

CODY
Nah you’re alright. Guess I’ll see you
when school starts, no doubt I’ll be
grounded till then.

LEON
So I’ll see you tomorrow.

CODY
We’ll see.

WE CUT TO:

EXT. CODY’S HOUSE - LATER THAT NIGHT

We briefly see the outside of the house, with two police

officers in the doorway. Maureen, PHIL and JAKE are also
present.

INT. CODY’S HOUSE - CONTINUOUS

POLICEMAN
Well your Cody’s a lucky lad, seems to
me like he got away from that place
lightly, not to mention the fact that
we’re letting him off from assaulting
a police officer...
(now addressing Cody)
 4.

If anything like this was to ‘appen

again young man, you’ll be in a lot of
trouble, got it?

MAUREEN
Oh he gets it, don’t you get it Codes?

CODY
Yes.

MAUREEN
Oh and you have my word constable that
he’ll behave, I mean we normally keep
an eye on him, and normally he is very
well behaved, isn’t he Phil.

PHIL
(not really listening)
What?

MAUREEN
Isn’t he Phil?

PHIL
I suppose.

MAUREEN
(turns to Phil, then to the
police)
He is, honest.

POLICEMAN
I’m sure he is. Well have a good
evening all,
(facing Cody)
And try and stay out of trouble.
Tarah,

The police officer and his partner leave the house.

MAUREEN
Now listen here young man, we’ve not
had a scrap to eat because of your
antics. Phil go to the chippy will you
love.

PHIL
Alright what d’you want?

MAUREEN
Surprise me.

PHIL
A kebab do yah?
 5.

MAUREEN
Oh not a kebab Phil.

PHIL
Fish cake?

MAUREEN
Forget it, battered sausage and chips.

PHIL
Right, Cody?

MAUREEN
I’m not sure he deserves food.

PHIL
Come on Maur, a lad’s gotta eat, even
if he has been a prick.

CODY
Don’t worry, I’m not hungry anyway.
Can I go to my room?

MAUREEN
That would be wise.
(calming down)
You can come down later on to have
some cake if you’d like

CODY
Cheers... and sorry.

JAKE
Can I come with dad?

PHIL
Sure thing slugger, back in a tick.

Phil and Jake leave out the front door, Cody is halfway up the
stars when Maureen calls to him.

MAUREEN (V.O.)
Cody.

CODY
Yes.

Maureen comes to the bottom of the stairs.

MAUREEN
You know Jennifer was looking forward
to seeing you.
 6.

CODY
Oh mum--

MAUREEN
Don’t oh mum me, she’s a lovely girl,
and that’s just what you need, instead
of hanging around with those toxic
friends of yours. At least say you’ll
think about it.

CODY
Ok... thought about it, she’s still
fucking ugly.

END OF TEASER
 7.

ACT ONE

SUPERIMPOSED - “TWO WEEKS LATER”

EXT. STREET - MORNING

We see Cody in full school uniform walking down the street, he

bumps into Leon.

LEON
Long time no see bubby.

CODY
Tell me about it, at least you could
see the others, I’ve been locked away
like flippin’ Rapunzel.

LEON
You do take care of your hair.

CODY
Already I’m sick of you.

LEON
You love me really.

CODY
It’s been so boring these past few
weeks. You know I never thought I’d
get tired of masturbating, but it does
take it’s toll.

LEON
Need a hand?

Quinn joins them on the walk to school, they get nearer and
nearer to the school.

QUINN
A hand with what?

LEON
Just some guitar strumming.
(with hand gestures of
wanking)

Slightly awkward pause.

CODY
Anyway... how was the rest of summer
for you guys?
 8.

QUINN
Well I thought considering I didn’t
really want to get into any more
trouble after the whole birthday
situation, I would get a head start on
this year’s work.

LEON
Try hard.

QUINN
Fly’s bard.

CODY
Thigh’s shard, and I think that’s a
great idea, did some work myself.

LEON
Ah, ain’t that sweet.

QUINN
What did you so valuably spend your
time on?

LEON
Pussy and crack.

CODY
So porn and lube.

LEON
Pretty much.

They arrive at the school.

QUINN
Great, shall we head in?

CODY
What about Fletcherino?

QUINN
We can meet him inside, we need to
reserve a table for the year.

LEON
We can wait a sec for Fletch.

LIZZIE is walking down the street and motions for Leon. He sees
her and panics.

LEON
On second thoughts, he can meet us
inside. Let’s go.
 9.

QUINN
Ok, lead the way.

Leon leads the way, leaving Lizzie looking rejected.

WE CUT TO:

INT. FOWLGATE ACADEMY’S COMMON ROOM - MORNING

FLETCHER is already sat at the best table in the room (don’t

ask what constitutes as the BEST table)

FLETCHER
Took your time ladies.

CODY
Waiting for you.

LEON
Sweet seats.

FLETCHER
With sweet cheeks to boot.
(whispering, the gang comes
in close)
Hey, you wouldn’t believe the
struggles I’ve had keeping this table.

Fletcher looks over at a different table full of nerds who are

eyeing him. Fletcher motions to them whilst lip saying “This is
our table”. Then one of the nerds sticks his middle finger up.
Fletcher does the same, but jacks off his. Then the nerd
retaliates by penetrating his other hand with his middle
finger. Fletcher rams his fist up through his hand and then
sunflowers. The nerd gets up and climbs through an imaginary
pussy feet first, and proceeds to lick the surroundings.
Fletcher then finger fucks his own mouth, at which point the
head of sixth, MR FITZPATRICK (FIZZY P), comes out from her
office.

FIZZY P
What on Earth? You four. My office.
Now.

The gang go into the office, Fletcher and the nerd share a
squinted eye stare before he enters.

INT. FIZZY P’S OFFICE - CONTINUOUS

FIZZY P
Sit down.
 10.

FLETCHER
If this is about what was going on out
there I can explain--

FIZZY P
(quite serious)
I don’t actually give a monkey’s about
why your hand was halfway down your
throat. What I do care about is the
chat I had with the police regarding
you four’s behaviour over the summer
holiday... Actions have consequences
you know, you’re sixteen for pete’s
sake. Grow up and stop messing about,
or we’re going to fall out. Do I make
myself clear?

THE GANG
Yes Mrs Fitzpatrick.

FIZZY P
(suddenly lighthearted)
Good. Now have a wonderful first day
my little cherubs.

THE GANG
Thanks.

FIZZY P
Oh, before you leave I have also
spoken to Ronnie, so don’t think I’m
picking on you lot.

CODY
Ronnie?

FIZZY P
Yes, lovely boy. He’s just enrolled
and I expect you lot to get on.

LEON
You’ll get no trouble from us.

The gang head outside and casually huddle.

INT. COMMON ROOM - CONTINUOUS

QUINN
(to Cody)
You’re dead.
 11.

CODY
He punched me, he’s got revenge for
what Leon did to him, he’ll leave us
alone.

At this point Cody notices Remmi, who appears to have enrolled

at the school. The rest of the dialogue is not heard by Cody as
he gazes at Remmi standing by some lockers.

LEON
I’m afraid not mate, and besides, it
as you who hit him with your watch, I
was just protecting us all.

FLETCHER
Making him more mad you mean.

QUINN
Giving him another reason to beat the
living shit out of us.

LEON
Well I didn’t see any of you step up
to the mark, you just stood there lie
fucking cows.

QUINN
Who are you calling a cow?

Cody walks forward through the group and stands next to Remmi.

CODY
(clears throat)
Hi.

REMMI
Oh, hello. Cody was it?

CODY
No it’s... yes, it’s Cody. Sorry, it’s
just I’m normally quite forgettable.

REMMI
How could I forget, you made a
complete fool of yourself. Then
tripped and fell.

CODY
Yeah, sorry about that.

REMMI
You know if you hadn’t tried so hard I
may have actually given you my number.
 12.

CODY
Yeah, sorry about that.

REMMI
You know if you hadn’t tried so hard I
may have actually given you my number.

CODY
Really?

REMMI
Not all girls are bitches, you don’t
have to be afraid to just be yourself.

CODY
Cool... So can I have your number?

REMMI
What, so we can text every second of
every day for months on end, become a
couple, then I’ll have to go on the
pill while you brag to your friends
how much snatching you’re catching,
then I’ll come off the pill to have
your babies and then we live happily
ever after?

CODY
Something like that yeah.

REMMI
Fuck off cunt.

Remmi walks away.

CODY
Did that really just happen?

FLETCHER
(calling from across the
room)
No, you’re daydreaming mate!

Cody immediately snaps out of his daydream, he never left the

group to talk to Remmi, she’s still by the lockers.

LEON
Okay, not a cow... because a cow might
actually have the potential to do
something.

QUINN
What moo them away?
 13.

FLETCHER
Cody, who’s that?

Leon and Quinn stop arguing.

LEON
Who’s
(noticing Remmi)
... my my.

QUINN
Wow.

CODY
She’s a called Remmi.

FLETCHER
God she’s a sexy linx.

LEON
That’s one way to spray it.

FLETCHER
One way to lay it more like.

The two high five.

CODY
Back off, she was at the party...
She’s the girl I was talking to.

FLETCHER
You never mentioned a girl?

CODY
Well she was there, and now she’s
here.

QUINN
You really think any of you desperados
have a shot with her? Please, I’ve got
a better chance.

LEON
I suppose she might like her boys
butch.

QUINN
I could say the same about you.

Cody exists to go towards Remmi.

 14.

LEON
Brave.

WE CUT TO:

INT. COMMON ROOM - BY THE LOCKERS.

Cody comes up next to Remmi as she’s closing her locker.

CODY
Hi.

REMMI
Oh, hello.

CODY
Remmi is it?

REMMI
That’s what I’m told by my parents
so... yeah.

CODY
Do you remember me?

REMMI
Should I?

CODY
(thinking he can use this to
his advantage)
No... we met briefly... hardly said a
word... ages ago.

REMMI
Oh right.

CODY
Yeah, I’m fairly good with names so
that’s how I remember yours... and I’m
good with faces so that’s how I
recognized you.
(holds hand out)
Cody.

REMMI
Pleasure.

CODY
So you must be new here.

REMMI
Yeah, this is my first day.
 15.

CODY
Cool, cool. You can hang with me at
lunch if you don’t make any friends
today.

REMMI
Aw, thanks.

The five minute warning bell rings.

REMMI (CONT’D)
I might just take you up on that
offer. I have to go, see yah.

As she walks away.

REMMI (CONT’D)
Oh, and by the way. Camp Cock was
genius.

Remmi leaves and goes to her first lesson, maths. Leon and the
rest of the gang come over to Cody.

LEON
I don’t fucking believe it, the
definition of virgin just got the fuck
me eyes.

CODY
What?

LEON
The fuck me eyes... it’s considered
consent in some countries.

QUINN
In no countries.

CODY
Save the police the trouble and turn
yourself in.

FLETCHER
He’s said worse.

LEON
I’ve said worse, now back to the
matter at hand, when’s D day?

FLETCHER
P day.

Fletcher and Leon high five.

 16.

CODY
We just talked.

QUINN
Well I’m proud of you bubby.

LEON
Oh yeah I’m proud as well, I’d be
prouder if you’d pound her?

Leon goes to high five Fletcher, but he declines.

LEON (CONT’D)
Fair enough.

FLETCHER
Just sloppy really.

The groups GCSE Geography teacher walks past the window

outside. Leon notices her.

LEON
Speaking of sloppy.

The rest of the gang see her and go gooey... apart from Quinn.

CODY
There’s a tasty fish.

LEON
The peak of evolution.

FLETCHER
She wants me.

CODY
(chuckles)
Don’t think so.

FLETCHER
I didn’t tell you guys this, but she
came onto me last year.

LEON
Chat shit some more please.

QUINN
I’d love to hear this story, but we
have to get to class.

CODY
Give him a chance to get his story
straight.
 17.

FLETCHER
I’m not lying.

LEON
Sure thing bud, let’s get to English.
We’ll see you later Fletch, try not to
get sucked off in class.

END OF ACT ONE

 18.

ACT TWO

FADE IN:

INT. SMITHE’S ENGLISH CLASS - MOMENTS LATER

SMITHE
Welcome everybody to a new school
year, probably the most important of
your life. No more dicking around. For
those of you that coasted through your
GCSE’s, well don’t expect a similar
result. You need to work tirelessly
for your A - levels, or you will fail.

The teacher Mr SMITHE begins to hand out “Of Mice and Men” to
everyone.

SMITHE (CONT’D)
Now I trust that we can read a book
fairly quickly... We’ll start by
reading the first few chapters in
class, and then it’ll be up to you.
Who would like to begin? No one? Cody,
you start.

Cody clears his throat.

CODY
“A few miles south of Solee dad?”

SMITHE
(correcting)
Soledad.

CODY
Right. “A few miles south of Soledad,
the Sally naz river”

SMITHE
(correcting)
The Salinas river.

LEON
Come on, don’t Smithe him down for
mispronunciation.

The class laugh.

SMITHE
Right, out now.

The class “oohhh”.

 19.

LEON
Me? What have I done?

SMITHE
Step outside and I’ll tell you.

Leon reluctantly goes outside, the class are silent.

SMITHE
Now right there is a prime example of
immaturity... the type of behaviour
that will no longer be tolerated in
this sixth form. You are here to
learn.

Leon makes faces from outside, the class laugh.

SMITHE
What? What’s funny?

Smithe turns around and sees Leon.

SMITHE
Right!
(now shouting)
HEAD OF SIXTH! NOW!

INT. CORRIDOR - CONTINUOUS

Leon walks down the corridor.

LEON
Papa’s still got it.

WE CUT TO:

INT. FIZZY P'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER

The head of sixth is sitting opposite Leon, holding a mug of

tea.

FIZZY P
(half laughing)
I’m not going to lie, I knew we’d be
having this talk Mr Jenkins, but I’d
have hoped that you would have lasted
longer than ten minutes.

LEON
What can I say, I’m a quick guy.

He winks at Mrs Fitzpatrick.

 20.

FIZZY P
Right... well you know this needs to
stop. GCSE’s are a doddle compared to
A level’s and you will not do as well
if you don’t put in the work.

LEON
With all due respect, you said the
same thing two years ago.
(impersonating)
“GCSE’s are much harder than SATS”.

FIZZY P
With all due respect, a person of your
intellect should have done much better
than you did.

LEON
I did enough.

FIZZY P
And right there is the root of your
problem. This bare minimum attitude
will not do.

LEON
We’ll see.

FIZZY P
See we will... if you’re not going to
take your lessons seriously, at least
let everyone else learn by being
quiet, ok?

LEON
Can I go?

FIZZY P
Yes.

Leon gets up to leave.

FIZZY P
Oh, and by the way, if you ever
imitate my accent again I’ll rip out
your fucking trachea.

LEON
Are you allowed to say that?

FIZZY P
I don’t see a camera do you?
 21.

LEON
Mmmmmmm. See you soon.

FIZZY P
Uh huh.

Leon leaves the office and heads towards the lockers.

INT. COMMON ROOM - BY THE LOCKERS.

Here he is ambushed by Lizzie.

LIZZIE
Been avoiding me?

LEON
Never.

She goes to kiss him but he leans away.

LEON
Not now yeah. We need to wait.

LIZZIE
I still don’t get why?

LEON
You’re special. This is special.
Special takes time.

LIZZIE
When?

LEON
Soon I promise... You coming round
mine tonight?

LIZZIE
I don’t know.

LEON
Look, we’ll get takeaway, watch a
movie... Have sex.

LIZZIE
(pause)
Okay.

Lizzie smiles.

LEON
Now get lost, my friends will be here
soon.
 22.

Lizzie’s face drops.

LIZZIE
You’re such a prick.

LEON
Well you knew this, see you later.

Lizzie storms off half smitten half annoyed, going outside.

Leon looks on after her, and when he turns around Cody is there
in his face.

CODY
Couldn’t help yourself could yuh?

LEON
Jesus Christ Cody you scared the shit
outta me.

CODY
Well?

LEON
Help myself with what?

CODY
(pause)
With sir. Look Leon, people were
already getting annoyed with you last
year cus of your interrupting.

LEON
Does it look like I care what people
think?

CODY
No but--

LEON
Then leave it. People take things too
seriously, please don’t become people.

CODY
Point taken.

The rest of the gang show up.

LEON
Cards?

FLETCHER
Yeah.
 23.

QUINN
Go on.

CODY
Oh, I’m gonna have to give this one a
miss yeah.

LEON
Hold on, this is the first lunch we’re
gonna have at sixth form, this is a
momentous occasion.

CODY
I’ll be back, just need to see a
teacher about something.

QUINN
Let him go.

LEON
You have five minutes.

Cody leaves to go have lunch with Remmi in the lunch hall.

FLETCHER
Where do you think he’s really going?

LEON
Doesn’t matter, now sit, I’ll deal.

WE CUT TO:

INT. LUNCH HALL - MOMENTS LATER

Cody is walking with Remmi to a bench, they sit down whilst

talking.

CODY
So Remmi, what brings you to these
parts of the woods?

REMMI
My dad got a new job here, and I guess
I’m just tagging along.

CODY
Well carry on tagging...
(coughs, pauses)
Do you think you’ll be staying long?

REMMI
Hopefully.
 24.

CODY
Yeah?

REMMI
It’s just it gets kinda hard having to
move around so often, you never really
have a group of friends... or
boyfriends.

CODY
Boyfriends, you have... uh, you
partake, you had any, many of those?
Boyfriends I mean.

REMMI
None that lasted. I hope it can be
different here.

Remmi seductively takes a bite out of an apple, and looks off

into the distance. Cody is staring at her.

CODY
Me too.

Remmi looks back at Cody and smiles.

WE CUT TO:

INT. COMMON ROOM - CONTINUOUS

LEON
Twenty-one you bunch of cunts!

QUINN
That’s twenty-four, no wonder you
dropped maths.

LEON
(looking more closely at his
cards)
So it is, my mistake fellas.

FLETCHER
I think you’ll find that I have twenty-
one, or pontoon if you’d prefer. Read
‘em and weep.

LEON
Come on Fletch, one of them’s a
snickers wrapper.

We focus on Fletcher’s hand where we in fact see Fletcher

holding some cards, AND a snickers wrapper.
 25.

FLETCHER
Whoops.

QUINN
I’m playing with a pair of idiots.

LEON
No Quinneth, but you can if you’d
like.

Leon proceeds to waggle his crotch whilst sitting down,

alluding to his pair of bollocks.

LEON
Anyway, what would you rather be?

FLETCHER
Here we go.

LEON
Someone that is attracted to nothing,
and can never have children. Or
someone that is only attracted to
children.

QUINN
Everyday you make me feel sick.

FLETCHER
Kiddies all the way.

LEON
Correct, Quinn?

QUINN
What?! I’m sorry what?! How could you
possibly pick the second one?

FLETCHER
Because it’s the better of the two.

LEON
I’ll explain Fletch. You see Quinneth,
the sex drive is what makes up 95% of
all our thoughts and feelings.

QUINN
Not even true--

LEON
--You remove that, you become nothing
more than a fleshy robot.
 26.

On the other hand, being attracted to

kids is nothing to be proud of, but
you don’t have to act on those
feelings. You could just wank the day
away, watching re-runs of Zack and
Cody.

FLETCHER
Amen to that.

LEON
Hey, Fletch doesn’t have sex, so for
all we know that’s what he does.

FLETCHER
Oi! I’ve had sex... sort of.

WE CUT TO:

INT. RANDOM CHAVY BITCHES HOUSE - PAST

We see Fletcher trying to have intercourse with a chavy bitch,

but he appears to be rubbing up the thigh.

FLETCHER
Is that good for you baby?

CHAVY BITCH
No, you’re just rubbing your dick on
my thigh. Not even close to it.

WE CUT TO:

INT. COMMON ROOM - PRESENT

FLETCHER
I’d count it.

LEON
Would you re-count it? In rhythmical
verse?

FLETCHER
Lay a beat, nugget.

This next sequence is a rap, steady flow, real smooth-like.

Leon keeps a beat.

FLETCHER
(rap)
I WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE ONE NIGHT.

LEON
ONE NIGHT
 27.

FLETCHER
ACTUALLY IT WAS DAY, IT WAS LIGHT.

LEON
IT WAS LIGHT.

FLETCHER
I WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE...
(speaking)
What rhymes with house?

QUINN
Mouse?

FLETCHER
(rap)
I WENT OVER TO HOUSE AS SILENT AS A
MOUSE.
(spoken)
And then I fucked her.

LEON
Nice.

The two high five, Quinn face-palms.

LEON
Hey, I wonder what’s keeping Cody?

WE CUT TO:

INT. LUNCH HALL - CONTINUOUS

Cody and Remmi are laughing.

CODY
And then he was like
(imitating a Scottish accent)
You couldn’t wait five till I went to
work before you start stroking your
meat like a fucking animal?

They both laugh again.

REMMI
And this was on your birthday?

CODY
Yeah. It was actually the same day we
met.

We view the two of them from behind Cody facing towards Remmi,
where Leon, Fletcher and Quinn arrive.
 28.

Leon comes into shot, licking his lips and thrusting like a
wild dog on heat. Cody notices this but keeps talking,
pretending that he’s not there.

REMMI
Oh really? At least I know you weren’t
thinking of me.

CODY
Yeah, right. Ummm, you finished?
Shoudl we go to the common? Without
looking that way.

REMMI
What?

Remmi turns sharply to see Leon, who is at present pretending

to cum into his hands. Leon freezes momentarily and holds out
his hands.

LEON
Leon Jenkins, international man of
mysterious love making.

Remmi doesn’t shake back.

REMMI
What’s so mysterious about it?

LEON
Wouldn’t you like to find out?

CODY
Leave it Leon.

QUINN
(to Remmi)
Don’t bother. Quinn by the way.

REMMI
Remmi.

LEON
Only playing with yah.

REMMI
Wouldn’t you be so lucky.

The bells rings to signify the end of lunch.

REMMI
I’ve got to go. Nice to meet you all.
See you later Cody, Quinn... Leon.
 29.

Remmi leaves past Cody and round a corner, we pan to Fletcher.

FLETCHER
Well fuck you then, I’m Fletcher!

We pan to Remmi, who was in earshot. She comes back.

REMMI
(bitchy)
What was that?

FLETCHER
(timidly, coughing)
Nothing.

REMMI
Well you obviuosly said something.

FLETCHER
No I didnt.
(panicking)
Oh I see, just now... I just said my
name’s Fletcher, that’s all.

REMMI
(suddenly nice)
Okay, nice to meet you Fletcher.

Remmi leaves for good this time. We focus on Leon.

LEON
He shit himself didn’t he.

END OF ACT TWO

 30.

ACT THREE

FADE IN:

INT. SCHOOL CORRIDOR - MOMENTS LATER

The gang are walking down the corridor, facing us.

FLETCHER
Look I didn’t shit myself, she just
caught me off gaurd.

LEON
Yeah, caught you with your trousers
down more-like, taking a shit.

FLETCHER
Well we’ll see who’s taking a shit
when me and Eleanor are banging like
the clangers.

CODY
Who the fuck is Eleanor?

FLETCHER
Geography teacher.

LEON
Well say that then, there’s already
too many names being thrown about.
Remmi for one.

FLETCHER
Fine, but before class starts I’m
gonna let her know that I want her
too.

QUINN
Not a good idea.

CODY
Yeah, Quinn’s right. Come on, we’re
gonna be late.

FLETCHER
Go without me.

The gang wait while Fletcher knocks on the door of his

Geography teacher, she waves him in, her class of retarded
children haven’t arrived from the special needs bus yet. We see
Fletcher go in, and him and his teacher talk for a few seconds.
All looks well, until Fletcher tries to put the moves on her,
she screams, and Fletcher comes back out.
 31.

FLETCHER
She doesn’t want it.

WE CUT TO:

INT. FIZZY P'S OFFICE - LATER THAT DAY

Fletcher, LINDA (his mum), JASON (his stepdad) and his

geography teacher (Eleanor Daisy) are sitting in the head of
sixth’s office. Fizzy P is fuming. Fletcher keeps trying to
start to explain himself, but Fizzy keeps shaking her head and
“uhuh”ing.

FIZZY P
I don’t really know what possessed you
to attack Ms--

FLETCHER
I didn’t attack--

FIZZY P
I’m talking! This is a very serious
matter Fletcher, I will not stand by
and let my staff feel unsafe.
(addressing Fletcher’s
parents)
Thank you two for coming down.

JASON
Well I didn’t really have anything on
to be honest.

LINDA
Jason.

FLETCHER
He doesn’t get out much.

LINDA
(to Fletcher)
What’s wrong with you.

FLETCHER
Well you raised me...

JASON
Don’t talk to your mother like that
you little perv.

FIZZY P
Mr Reid! I hardly think that’s helpful
behaviour.
 32.

JASON
It’s Musgrave, I’m his step-dad.

FIZZY P
Well Mr Musgrave, one more comment
like that and I’ll have to ask you to
leave, do you understand?

JASON
Yeah...
(grumbles)
Whatever.

FIZZY P
(heavy inhale)
Ms Daisy, you say Fletcher tried to
grope you and kiss you, correct?

DAISY
Yes, completely un-encouraged.

FIZZY P
Right. And do you agree on that
Fletcher.

FLETCHER
Well........ It wasn’t completely
unprovoked.

DAISY
I’m sorry?

FLETCHER
‘member last year? You used to flirt,
saying how clever I was, and ruffled
my hair.
(to Fizzy P)
Now if that isn’t coming on then what
is?

DAISY
I don’t know what universe you’re
living in Fletcher, but my “flirting”
was just praise when you did a good
job, like I do all my students.

FIZZY P
I see. This appears to be a huge
misunderstanding, but I’m afraid one
of you will have to go, it’s too
risky. So I believe it’s in everyone’s
best interest that Fletcher transfers
to a different sixth form college.
 33.

FLETCHER
No, you can’t.

LINDA
Are you sure? It’s just he’s got sso
many friends here.

FIZZY P
Really? Well there is another
solution, if he’s to stay at this
school, he will have to choose another
subject to replace Geography, and must
attend a sexual assault course.

LINDA
Now I am fully in support of the
course, but is making him drop
Geography necessary? It’s just
Geography is such a passion for F--

FLETCHER
Fine. What subject can I replace it
with?

LINDA
Fletch?

FIZZY P
Here’s the list.
(hands Fletcher a list)
With your GCSE results, I would
suggest IC...

FLETCHER
English. I’ll take English.

LINDA
(exacerbated)
Fletch?

FIZZY P
English what? Language?

FLETCHER
Um... yeah? Whatever. Can I go?

FIZZY P
Uh, right. I suppose so, I’d like to
have a word with your parents anyway
if that’s alright.

FLETCHER
Sick.
 34.

Fletcher leaves and fist bumps Jason. Linda smiles at Fizzy O

awkwardly.

INT. COMMON ROOM - CONTINUOUS

The gang are waiting outside the office, in mid conversation.

LEON
Id’ fuck her. Oh hi Fletch, we were
just talking about your mum.

FLETCHER
Don’t be gross.

CODY
What’s the verdict for Ted Bundy?

FLETCHER
Nothing. I thought it would be awkward
to carry on with Geography seeing that
nothing can happen between us, so I’ve
changed to English.

QUINN
English what?

FLETCHER
Language?

LEON
Nice, I was torn between that and
Literature.

CODY
Same.

FLETCHER
So you guys do literature?

ALL
Yeah.

FLETCHER
Balls.

LEON
Fucked up didn’t you?

FLETCHER
I’ll change it later.

CODY
You moron.
 35.

RONNIE
(off-camera)
Hey!

We swing round to view the exit of the common room, where we

see BIG BLACK RONNIE and his big black crew.

RONNIE
Did someone say Big Black Ronnie!

A sample from “John” plays as he and his crew walk up to the

gang, face to face.

LEON
Nice to see you again Ronnie, how’s
the head?

RONNIE
(kissing teeth)
How’s the head. How’s the head, yeah
good man good. How’s yours?

Big Black Ronnie swings a punch at Leon, but he dodges it by

moving back slightly.

LEON
Well you’ve embarrassed yourself ain’t
yah?

Big Black Ronnie swings again and connects this time, the
common room erupt with “OOOO’S” and “braps” and “you got reckt
nigga”. Ronnie and Leon are held back, Ronnie struggling to
punch again, Leon not moving.

LEON
I deserved that one.

Fizzy P opens her office door and steps out.

FIZZY P
What’s going on?!

Everyone calmly disperses apart from the two groups.

LEON
Nothing. We just had a really
intensive thumb war.

RONNIE
Yeah. Good game.

FIZZY P
Right. Well keep it down, and go home.
 36.

Fizzy P goes back into her office.

CODY
Look, we’re even now. We don’t want
any trouble.

Ronnie gets up in Cody’s face.

RONNIE
You’d better watch yourself, i’ckle
white boy. Don’t step up.

Remmi comes into the frame, in the background, unfocused.

REMMI
Mind if I step up?

RONNIE
Who the fuck are you?

REMMI
Not important.
(Remmi grabs Ronnie’s dick
and balls)
You leave them alone, capiche?

RONNIE
Ooohh, you’re getting frisky girl.
Shit, it’s turning me...

Remmi grabs harder, Ronnie squeals.

REMMI
Fuck off.

Remmi lets go of his junk, Ronnie is in visible pain.

CREW 1
You gonna let her talk to you like
dat?

RONNIE
Come on guys, I’ve got a hair
appointment at four, don’t want to be
late.

CREW 1
Buv that’s next we--

RONNIE
Shut up... Let’s go.
(to the gang)
This ain’t over.
 37.

Ronnie and his crew leave, everyone is stunned.

REMMI
See you guys.

Remmi walks away, leaving everyone starstruck.

LEON
What was her name again?

CODY
Remmi.

“DDevil” by System of a Down plays as the credits roll, but

before we end, we briefly see the gang, including Quinn,
furiously masturbating to the thought of Remmi.

END OF SHOW.