Mommy, Am I Fat?

Weight-based prejudice is not innate, but learned.

By Peggy Howell, Contributor Jan. 29, 2016, at 9:26 a.m.

More

Mommy, Am I Fat?

More

Teach children that all bodies are good bodies. (ISTOCKPHOTO)

WHAT KIND OF IMPACT IS the world's obsession with weight and

physical appearance having on our children? At what age do you believe
children are becoming conscious of appearance and developing attitudes
regarding what is and is not acceptable? At what age do you believe
children should become concerned about their body size?

I believe we can all agree that babies come into this world with a clean
slate. They don't know prejudice or bias. Bigotry and hatred are not part
of a child's character. Very small children don't judge people based on
their physical appearance or label bodies as good or bad. That is adult
behavior, learned behavior and something that can be changed.

It was alarming to read a 2015 study that found that children under age
3 are already picking up on the anti-fat attitudes of their mothers. Anti-fat
prejudice had previously been observed in 3-and-a-half-year-
old preschoolers and was well established in 5- to 10-year-olds, but
researchers were surprised to see these changes. They found that infants
around 11 months old preferred to look at photos of obese bodies,
whereas the older toddler group, around 32 months old, preferred to look
at "average-sized" figures. This change in preference was strongly related
to the mother's anti-fat prejudice. The correlation was profound; the more
the mother had expressed anti-fat attitudes in the study questionnaire, the
more the older toddlers would look away from the photos of obese
figures. The study concluded that anti-fat prejudice is socially learned,
which is consistent with findings about other forms of prejudice.
"Weight-based prejudice is causing significant social, psychological and
physical harms to those stigmatized. It's driving body dissatisfaction and
eating disorders in underweight populations; and social isolation,
avoidance of exercise settings and depression in very overweight
populations. We need to find ways to address this prejudice," said Kerry
O'Brien, study co-author and associate professor from Monash
University in Australia, in a news release.

Studies indicate that parents have limited control over their children's
body size, since heredity plays a big part. They do, however, have the
responsibility to teach and model healthy lifestyles. Children mimic what
they see their parents do and say. Parents need to be aware themselves
that a healthy lifestyle does not mean being thin. Too often, parents may
narrow their focus on the physical appearance of their children without
regard for the impact that focus may be having on the other components
of the child's health and well-being.

Parents are a child's first teacher. Children reflect parental behavior and
ultimately mirror their attitudes and actions. Teach your children that
diversity is a good thing; just like people come in a variety of colors, they
come in a variety of sizes. It is our differences that make the world a more
interesting and enjoyable place.

Teach children that all bodies are good bodies. Take your focus off of the
physical. Praise your children for their positive attitudes and actions, not
their physical appearance. Help them understand that being kind and
honest and thoughtful are more important than being the best looking or
most athletic. Help them understand that character outweighs physical
appearance. If your child is naturally thin, teach her that not all bodies are
like hers, and that does not make her body better than others. Make sure
kids understand that they are never justified in mistreating, mocking
and bullying other children. If your child is naturally chubby, help him
understand that his body is not bad, it's just bigger.

Very few of our children will come out looking like the "beautiful" people
we see on magazine covers, TV or in movies. That does not mean they
should live their lifetime experiencing body dissatisfaction. We need to
help them understand that beauty has to do with character, compassion
and kindness.
The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance has developed a
free toolkit to help parents, caregivers and teachers understand how to
improve the health of children without doing harm.

We must teach our children that how they act and what they accomplish
in life is far more important than how they look.