Interpersonal skills

What are 'Interpersonal Skills'

Interpersonal skills are the skills used by a person to interact with others properly. In the
business domain, the term generally refers to an employee's ability to get along with others
while getting the job done. Interpersonal skills include everything from communication and
listening skills to attitude and deportment. Good interpersonal skills are a prerequisite for
many positions in an organization.

Social Interaction Skills

What Are Social Interaction Skills?

Well-developed social interaction skills are critical for developing positive self-esteem,
building relationships, and ultimately for acceptance into society. To communicate
effectively with others, establish friendships, positive social relationships, and be perceived
as a likable human being, a person must demonstrate good social skills.

Inherent in social interaction are the verbal or signed expressive and receptive language skills
required to carry on a conversation. Understanding and using nonverbal communication
skills—the nuances of facial expressions and body language—are also critical social skills
used to convey different emotions and feelings.

Social interaction skills are essential for engaging with others; yet, much of the content in this
area is typically learned through casual observation of others. Because children who are blind
or visually impaired are unable to casually observe how others interact and engage socially,
they need systematic and purposeful instruction in order to learn social skills.

What is Interpersonal Communication?

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings,

and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face communication.

Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said - the language used -
but how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions,
gestures and body language.

When two or more people are in the same place and are aware of each other's presence,
then communication is taking place, no matter how subtle or unintentional.

Without speech, an observer may be using cues of posture, facial expression, and dress
to form an impression of the other's role, emotional state, personality and/or intentions.
Although no communication may be intended, people receive messages through such
forms of non-verbal behaviour.
Elements of Interpersonal Communication

Much research has been done to try to break down interpersonal communication into a
number of elements in order that it can be more easily understood. Commonly these
elements include:

The Communicators

For any communication to occur there must be at least two people involved. It is easy to think
about communication involving a sender and a receiver of a message. However, the problem
with this way of seeing a relationship is that it presents communication as a one-way
process where one person sends the message and the other receives it. While one person is
talking and another is listening, for example.

In fact communications are almost always complex, two-way processes, with people sending
and receiving messages to and from each other simultaneously. In other words,
communication is an interactive process. While one person is talking the other is listening -
but while listening they are also sending feedback in the form of smiles, head nods etc.

The Message

Message not only means the speech used or information conveyed, but also the non-verbal
messages exchanged such as facial expressions, tone of voice, gestures and body language.
Non-verbal behaviour can convey additional information about the spoken message. In
particular, it can reveal more about emotional attitudes which may underlie the content of
speech.

Noise

Noise has a special meaning in communication theory. It refers to anything that distorts the
message, so that what is received is different from what is intended by the speaker. Whilst
physical 'noise' (for example, background sounds or a low-flying jet plane) can interfere with
communication, other factors are considered to be ‘noise’. The use of complicated
jargon, inappropriate body language, inattention, disinterest, and cultural
differences can be considered 'noise' in the context of interpersonal communication. In other
words, any distortions or inconsistencies that occur during an attempt to communicate can be
seen as noise.

Feedback

Feedback consists of messages the receiver returns, which allows the sender to know how
accurately the message has been received, as well as the receiver's reaction. The receiver may
also respond to the unintentional message as well as the intentional message. Types of
feedback range from direct verbal statements, for example "Say that again, I don't
understand", to subtle facial expressions or changes in posture that might indicate
to the sender that the receiver feels uncomfortable with the message. Feedback
allows the sender to regulate, adapt or repeat the message in order to improve communication.

Context

All communication is influenced by the context in which it takes place. However, apart from
looking at the situational context of where the interaction takes place, for example in a room,
office, or perhaps outdoors, the social context also needs to be considered, for example the
roles, responsibilities and relative status of the participants. The emotional climate and
participants' expectations of the interaction will also affect the communication.

Channel

The channel refers to the physical means by which the message is transferred from one
person to another. In a face-to-face context the channels which are used are speech and vision,
however during a telephone conversation the channel is limited to speech alone.

Social interaction :

Any kind if interaction involving one to many or many to one communication is said to be an
interaction where people put forth their views and ideas about any particular thing. A social
interaction is an exchange between two or more individuals and is a building block of
society. Social interaction can be studied between groups of two (dyads), three (triads) or
larger social groups. By interacting with one another, people design rules, institutions and
systems within which they seek to live.

When two or more people meet, they may act toward one another in countless different ways.
Social interaction, then, is the way in which personalities, groups, or social systems act
toward and mutually influence one another.

Peer communication is known as the interaction between individuals who share same
responsibilities at same level in an organisation. Interaction between college fellows is also a
part of peer communication.

Follow these 10 rules for effective peer-to-peer communications

1. Understand your communication style. The first rule of communication is to become
self-aware and realize how you like to communicate.

Are you a direct, "just the facts ma'am" communicator? Are you a story teller? Are you more
systematic and logical? Is your relationship with the other person a critical aspect of the
communication?
Knowing your preferred style of communication will be incredibly valuable when
dealing with others. And essential when the message you need to deliver isn’t a
positive one.

2. Reflect on how others react to your communications. Think about the last five
conversations you had that didn’t go well, and ask yourself the reason. Then think about the
last five communications you had that went really well and the reason. Identify the common
elements or trends.

3. Share the best way for others to communicate with you. Years ago I had a boss who,
every time he took a personality assessment, would share a copy of the results with his team.
At first, I thought it was goofy. But then I realized he was trying to tell me how to
communicate with him. And that was priceless.

I was reminded of him when I saw the demo of the new Halogen Software Myers-Briggs
module. It’s a tool that fosters self-awareness and helps employees quickly gauge how best to
communicate with anyone in the company.

4. Communicate on the other person’s channel. Once you know how another person wants
to receive communication, it’s your responsibility to communicate that way.

If you don’t know how someone wants to hear the message, ask them. “I’d like to talk with
you about the ABC proposal. Would tomorrow morning be a good time?” or “I need some
answers from you regarding the ABC proposal. Would you like me to setup a meeting to
discuss it or should I send an email?”

5. Learn how stress impacts communications. When people are under stress, they react
differently. I’ve seen employees totally botch up conversations because they so desperately
needed to get their message out, they couldn't wait for the recipient to be ready to receive it.
That’s what stress will do.

6. Deliver messages at the right moments. Ever work with an employee who came in early,
never said hello, and immediately started working? I felt sorry for the co-worker who would
saunter over with their coffee to talk about last night’s game. Obviously, they didn’t read the
signs that the employee was trying to get something done, and it was the wrong time for
conversation.When it comes to effective peer-to-peer communications, timing is everything.

7. Use the proper tools. It’s 2014 and time for all of us to realize there are some messages
you can send on Twitter, others that should be sent via email, and then those that need a
voice-to-voice conversation. Using the right medium to send a message can make all the
difference in the world when it comes to how your message will be received.
8. Recognize others in a way that makes them feel good. Recognizing others
isn’t just a task for management. You should recognize your co-workers for a job
well done and when they help you do your job better.

And, this is where tip #1 is so necessary. The way you want to be recognized isn’t always the
way others want to be recognized. For recognition to be effective, it has to be given in a way
that makes the other person feel important.

9. Be empathetic. This applies to many of the rules above. If you take a moment to put
yourself in your co-workers shoes, it can positively impact your communications with them.
Whether they’re happy or stressed, you can either share in their enthusiasm or not contribute
to their frustration.

10. And if, after all of this, the communication gets messed up, don’t let it fester. Fix
it. Yes, there will be times when, no matter how hard you try, the communication will not go
as planned. Instead of ignoring the situation and potentially having it get worse, have a
conversation with your co-worker. Let them know that having a positive working relationship
is important, and you’d like to talk it out.

Responsibility

Different types of responsibility

Legal – Some responsibilities are upheld by law. It is against the law not to take
responsibility in some cases. There are different types of legal responsibility. Some laws only
apply in this country and others are international. There are some laws and responsibilties
which are not supposed to be violated by citizens. We call such responsibilities as legal ones.

Social – These are responsibilities that society has towards everyone. They are not the
responsibilities of individuals but ones we share as a society.

Moral – Sometimes we feel responsible for people or things because we believe it is the right
thing to do. We feel that we are morally responsible because to ignore it would be wrong.

Personal – We often believe that we are personally responsible for things, not because it is
the law but because it is very personal to us or our friends and family.
PERSONAL BRANDING

Personal branding is the practice of people marketing themselves and their

careers as brands. While previous self-help management techniques were about self-
improvement, the personal-branding concept suggests instead that success comes from self-
packaging.

Personal branding is essentially the ongoing process of establishing a prescribed image or

impression in the mind of others about an individual, group, or organization.[4] Personal
branding often involves the application of one's name to various products. For example, the
celebrity real-estate mogul turned President of the United States, Donald Trump uses his last
name extensively on his buildings and on the products he endorses (e.g. Trump Tower).
Marketers McNally and Speak define the personal brand in this way: "Your brand is a
perception or emotion, maintained by somebody other than you, that describes the total
experience of having a relationship with you."

Goffman's self presentation theory

Self Presentation is a key theory that explores the way people want to be seen and how
people are perceived by their peers. Goffman, uses the term Dramaturgy as a component to
his theory of self-presentation. This term refers to looking at your own persona as a drama,
treating your actions as an actor in a play. One can control how he or she is viewed by their
peers and in cases of celebrities or athletes, can build a personal brand through utilizing what
they present to their public's using various social media outlets. Self-presentation theory and
personal branding go hand in hand, we see celebrities and athletes building a particular brand,
or persona over with the use of twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. Building a
personal brand is a big part of a celebrity's life, and it can help them spread awareness and
also provide an outlet to connect with their fans/supporters. This is made possible through the
use of social media and the ability of the person looking to build a personal brand to make
their messages heard. The theory of self-presentation looks at how people look to create an
identity for themselves that they would like to be seen as by their peers or in the public eye.
This is what Goffman call's the 'front stage'.
The front stage is a key component of this theory and it is a way a person acts when in public
or around other people to build a certain persona for how they would like others to view them.
The front stage is where celebrities and athletes tend to build their own brand and show many
positive, deliberate messages that will try and portray them in a certain light in which the
person would like to be seen. As opposed to what Goffman refers to as the 'back stage' which
is a particular way a person acts when they are not in public or not posting on social media,
trying to build a particular persona or brand they would like others to see.
There are many examples of celebrities building a brand for themselves over some sort of
social media platform. In fact, it is rare to see an athlete or celebrity without a social media
page whether it is twitter or instagram. Celebrities use these outlets as ways of branding
themselves, by showing people their lives and having fans feel close to them, almost like they
are friends, and have a connection through social media outlets such as twitter and
instagram. Also, to keep more of their fans interested, and to reach as many as
possible many celebrities will update daily on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and
Snapchat so their message can be seen by a wider audience. They can keep fans informed on
everything from what they want to wear, to their political views. Social Media has provided a
simple way for celebrities to get their personal brand to reach a wider audience, and they
utilize the 'front stage' to influence people in a particular way and to make themselves look
good in the public eye.
The 'back stage' is part of Goffman's theory of self-presentation theory, and it is happenings
or beliefs people wouldn't want their peers or public to necessarily see or hear. These are
happenings that go on behind the scenes that can often times hurt someone's reputation and
are avoided when a celebrity is trying to build a personal brand. These are often personal
happenings, or beliefs that will negatively effect how an audience will look at the brand you
are building. There are numerous examples of celebrities saying something that they didn't
want their public to hear but got out and this hurts the brand they are building. One example
of this is when LA Clippers owner Donald Sterling made racist comments to his then
girlfriend and she had recorded them and put them on her social media.[8] Donald Sterling
was quickly removed from the team and is no longer associated with the NBA. This is an
example of how something in the back stage will negatively effect what you want the public
to see you as.
Self-presentation theory is very apparent in the world of celebrities and professional athletes
and is a big part of building a brand for themselves. Goffman's theory seems to identify itself
well with the personal branding of these celebrities and you can see why they would want to
utilize social media to positively show a message they want to be heard by their public (front
stage) and avoid more personal beliefs that may negatively effect their brand (back stage).

SOCIAL MEDIA

Building a brand and an online presence through internal corporate networks allows for
individuals to network with their colleagues, not only socially but professionally as well. This
kind of interaction allows for employees to build up their personal brand relative to other
employees, as well as spur innovation within the company because more people can learn
from more people.
Some social media sites, like Twitter, can have a flattened, all-encompassing audience that
can be composed of professional and personal contacts, which then can be seen as a more
"'professional' environment with potential professional costs". Because of its explicitly public
nature, Twitter becomes a double-sided platform that can be utilized in different ways
depending on the amount of censorship a user decides on.
Personal branding focuses on "self-packaging," where "success is not determined by
individuals' internal sets of skills, motivations, and interests but, rather, by how effectively
they are…branded"; it is more about self-promotion rather than true self-expression. The
difference between the two is that self-promotion is deliberately intentional in all aspects
because the individual is purposely shaping their image or persona, while self-
expression can even be a by product of promotion.
Aside from professional aspirations, personal branding can also be used on
personal-level social networks to flare popularity. The online self is used as a marketing and
promotional tool to brand an individual as a type of person; success on the virtual platforms
then becomes "online social value [that could transform] to real rewards in the offline
world."[12] A prominent example of a self-made self-branded social media icon is Tila Tequila,
who rose to prominence in 2006 on the Myspace network, gaining more than 1.5 million
friends, through expertly marketing her personal brand.
As social media has become a vehicle for self-branding, these moguls have begun to situate
the maintenance of their online brand as a job, which brings about new ways to think about
work and labor[14] The logic of online sites and the presence of feedback means that one's
online presence is viewed by others using the same rubric to judge brands: evaluation,
ranking, and judgment. Thus, social media network sites serve as complex, technologically
mediated venues for the branding of the self.

Delegation

Delegation is the assignment of any responsibility or authority to another person (normally

from a manager to a subordinate) to carry out specific activities, such as starting on proper
tires during a wet race. It is one of the core concepts of management leadership. However, the
person who delegated the work remains accountable for the outcome of the delegated work.
Delegation empowers a subordinate to make decisions, i.e. it is a shifting of decision-making
authority from one organizational level to a lower one. Delegation, if properly done, is
not abdication. The opposite of effective delegation is micromanagement, where a manager
provides too much input, direction, and review of delegated work. In general, delegation is
good and can save money and time, help in building skills, and motivate people. On the other
hand, poor delegation might cause frustration and confusion to all the involved
parties.[1] Some agents however do not favor a delegation and consider the power of making a
decision rather burdensome.
According to Dr. Kanthi Wijesinghe, Senior Lecturer, National Institute of Education,
‘Delegation begins when the manager passes on some of his responsibilities to the
subordinate. Responsibility is the work assigned to an individual’. When assigning these
responsibilities to other individuals, these individuals must be willing and ready to be
delegated to as well. The delegated readiness of the individuals is an important factor in
determining the success of the delegation. Individuals must be prepared for delegation.
Twelve rules of delegation.

1. Delegation is a two-way street. That’s right! Delegation is meant to develop you and the
people you work with. Consider what you are delegating and why you are delegating it.
Are you delegating to build people, get rid of work you don’t like to do or to develop
someone?

2. To be a good delegator you need to let go. You can’t control everything so let go and
trust the people you work with. Hand over those tasks to other people that are stopping
you from reaching your full potential.

3. Create a delegation plan. Use a delegation matrix that shows your people and the main
task components and how you can develop your people and get the work done. This will
help your people understand the expectations being set.

4. Define the tasks that must be done. Make sure that the task can be delegated and is
suitable to be delegated. Some things you have to do and others can be done by someone
else. Be clear on what the task is and is not. People like clarity when being delegated to.
So ensure you are clear. If you are not clear your people will not be and you will be
disappointed. Worst, your people will feel like failures. Not cool!

5. Select and assign the individual or team that should take on the task. Be clear on your
reasons for delegating the task to that person or team. Be honest with yourself. Make
sure you answer the question what are they going to get out of it and what you are going
to get out of it? Think of it as listening to the radio station WII-FM (what’s in it for
them). It’s a good motivator.

6. Make sure you consider ability and training needs. The importance of the task may need
to be defined. Can the people or team do the task? Do they understand what needs to be
done? If not, you can’t delegate it to them. If resources are an issue, sit your team down
and move things around or develop a mentoring-support program that enables your
people.

7. Clearly explain the reason for the task or work that must be done. Discuss why the job is
being delegated and how it fits into the scheme of things. Don’t be afraid to negotiate
points that are discussed when appropriate. Don’t say it is because we are told to do it.
For your people to own the task you must own the task. Reframe and rephrase it so you
have ownership.

8. State the required outcomes and results. Answer questions like what must be achieved,
what the measurements will be, and clarify how you intend to decide that the job was
successfully done.

9. Be prepared to discuss the required resources with the individual and team. Common
challenges arise with every person and team including people, location, time, equipment,
materials and money. These are important concerns and should be discussed and solved
creatively. However, sometimes it is simply as it must be done. Be prepared.
10. Get agreement on timeline and deadlines. Include a status reporting feature to
ensure things are getting done. When is the job to be done? What are the
ongoing operational duties? What is the status report date and how is it due?
Make sure you confirm an understanding of all the previous items. Ask for a summary in
their words. Look for reassurance that the task can be done. Address any gaps and
reinforce your belief in the individuals or teams work. They need to know you trust them.

11. Remember the two way street, well it is most likely a multi-directional intersection.
Look around and support and communicate. Speak to those people who need to know
what is going on. Check your stakeholders list and make sure you inform them what the
individuals or teams responsibility is. Do not leave it up to the individual or team. Keep
politics, the task profile and importance in mind.

12. Provide and get feedback for teams members and individuals. It is important that you let
people know how they are doing and if they are achieving their aim. Don’t get into
blame-storming. You must absorb the consequences of failure, create an environment
where failure is an opportunity to learn and grow and pass on the credit for success. Pay
it forward if you can.