Nicholas

Buscemi
JMC 2033-902
Assignment 17: Article

1. Who, or what, is the target of your satire, and why?

My target audience is users of dating sites and future parents. My generation

was raised to believe that carnal pleasure is of the utmost importance. I want

to demonstrate that a life filled with simply carnal pleasure is meaningless.

2. What are the main techniques of your satire?

a. Parody

3. Which are the key words, phrases, images, metaphors, or ideas in your satire?

• Sex is the key to happiness

• Dating sites help achieve happiness

4. How successful do you think your satire is in achieving its aim?

I think that I achieve my goal of demonstrating that carnal pleasure is worthless.

 Slammer users are 75 percent more likely to find a successful match

NORMAN--Slammer users have more successful matches than competing sites like Tinder and

Grindr.

Slammer recently emerged in 2015 as a serious competitor to sites like Tinder and Grindr.

Patrick Miller, CEO and founder of Slammer, created the site because he felt that not enough

men had the options that they deserved.

Although other dating sites like Tinder and Grindr provide matches, users are often dissatisfied

with their results. Users are always satisfied with how the pictures demonstrate the physical

characteristics of their date. However, users are dissatisfied when they do not end up Netflix

and chilling.

“Tinder has plenty of gorgeous women, but I rarely get a good match. For the most part, these

people are not DTF,” said University of Oklahoma student Wyatt Tucker. When asked to define

“DTF,” Tucker said the term meant “down to f***.”

Users of sites like Tinder and Grindr are looking for the best partner to hook-up with, but sites

do not put up the desired results. Most Tinder and Grindr dates end with both parties going

their separate ways.

Miller created an algorithm for Slammer that helps produce the best results. The algorithm is

mainly based on physical characteristics like facial symmetry and genital size. Personality,

common interests and personal beliefs are insignificant and prevent positive matches.

Slammer measures its success through how many matches wind up in the bedroom. According

to their most recent study, 75 percent of all matches have ended in sex.

“Sex is the key factor to happiness. If your boss is in a bad mood, he hasn’t gotten laid in a

while. It’s how the world works. When I figured out how to make people happy, I came up with

the best way to make that happen. Sure, there are other sites that are similar to Slammer, but

none hold the key to happiness,” said Miller.

Before dating sites were mostly focused on allowing men and women to find their soulmates.

Now, however, men and women are more focused on obtaining physical pleasure. Individuals

have no reason not to be focused on carnal pleasures; sex is beautiful.

People use dating sites because it provides them with an opportunity to have sex with another

individual. Nothing is better than having sex with a random person to make them feel special.

The high demand for sites like Slammer stem from parents raising their kids to believe that the

best way to interact with people they are interested in is to “slide” into their direct messages.
Text messaging and DMing are some of the best ways to find a hookup for the night. Charm,

chivalry, and human respect hold no place in winning the affection of others.

Men and women fear having to fend for themselves alone in the world. Independence is

overrated and true happiness is the result of sexual satisfaction.

One person, one body even, for the rest of an individual’s years is too much of a commitment.

Society should not expect humans to be satisfied with the same body.

The upcoming generation is filled with men and women who believe that face-to-face

interactions is the worst way to get someone into the bedroom. Slammer proves that

millennials were nurtured to be the most outgoing, charming, and respectful generation.