How To Make Your Child Feel Loved

4/9/2019 How to Make Your Child Feel Loved: 75 Positive Words for Kids
How to Make Your Child Feel Absolutely

Loved: 75 Positive Words for Kids
By Kelly / . This content may contain a liate links.
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Inside: Get a free printable list of the most powerful positive words for kids, plus the pitfalls to avoid when it
comes to positive things to say to your child.
After I tuck my kids into bed every night, I collapse on the couch, close my eyes,
and sigh.
Unfortunately, with four kids, I get about 2.7 seconds of peace before one of
them asks for another drink of water, needs an extra hug, or remembers a
month-long school project that’s due tomorrow.
But after a few turns on the bedtime merry-go-round, I can nally sink back into
the couch.
That’s when the replay of our day starts in my head. It’s like a 10x sped-up video,
but every time my mouth opens to say something to my kids, the video slows
down so I can hear myself.
“Put your shoes away.”

“Your room is a mess!”
“Stop bugging your sister.”
“You haven’t brushed your teeth yet?”
https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/positive-words-for-kids/?fbclid=IwAR1SgBY9MA9qM4E9zErjpKQ9HL_xUpRmeFKLg7x_kcSkYWD9DTv6mJ39WUE 1/19
You haven t brushed your teeth yet?
My own personal highlight reel of nagging and negativity, directed at the people I
love most in the world.
The weight of my words crushes my chest, and my mind scrambles to remember:

when did I say something loving, something sweet, anything positive?
Was I so focused on treading water in a neverending sea of parental to-dos –

getting snacks, folding laundry, mediating sibling squabbles – that I forgot to tell
my children how much I love them?
My kids deserve better. They deserve to hear every single day that no matter what
road bumps we hit, I feel lucky to be on this lifelong road trip with them.
Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download a free cheat

sheet () of the 75 most powerful positive words for kids, plus three important
pitfalls to avoid when it comes to positive things to say to your child.
But Here’s the Problem

It’s heartbreaking to think that your child’s last thought after you tuck them in at
night and before they fall asleep may be: Is Mommy mad at me? Did I do something
wrong? Does Daddy still love me?
What’s more, lack of connection with your child also leads to more unnecessary
power struggles and less cooperation from your child
(https://www.ahaparenting.com/blog/When_Kids_Simply_Wont_Cooperate)
when you ask them to clean their toys up, to help empty the dishwasher, or to
stop chewing their food like a cow with a megaphone.
But as parents in today’s world we have a lot on our plates Because of that it’s
But as parents in today s world, we have a lot on our plates. Because of that, it s
easy to get so wrapped up in the daily struggles of parenting that you forget to
stop and tell your child how much you love them.
When you have too much to do and too little time to do it, you’re in survival
mode (https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/enjoying-motherhood/) not
nurturing mode. And those positive sayings for kids like “You’re important to me”
and “I love you to the moon and back” that our children crave from us? They go
unsaid.
How Important Is It to Share Positive Words for

Kids?
Recently, I came across this quote from a doctor and author who specializes in
childhood development and trauma:
“ “Love felt by the parent does not automatically translate into love
experienced by the child.” – Gabor Maté
(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gabor_Mat%C3%A9_(physician)
)
In other words, those positive messages for kids don’t work when you just think
them to yourself after your kids are tucked into bed. You need to actually say
them out loud.
I realized it was time for a change.
Because the research is crystal clear that when kids feel warmth and a ection
from their parents (https://www.gottman.com/blog/how-a-parents-
a ection-shapes-a-childs-happiness-for-life/), that has a life-long positive
impact on the child.
Not only do kids with a ectionate parents do better in school and develop a
healthy self-esteem, they also end up emotionally happier and less anxious as
adults. Parental warmth even has an impact on your child’s physical health
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-athletes-
way/201310/parental-warmth-is-crucial-child-s-well-being).
And so the important question is: When you’re busy and overwhelmed and just
impaled your left foot on a stray LEGO, how can you remember to say out loud
all the positive things you should say to your child to remind them of your
unconditional love?
Related: How to Connect With Your Child: The Magic of the 5:1 Ratio
(https://happyyouhappyfamily com/how-to-connect-with-your-child/)
(https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/how to connect with your child/)

{Printable}
Here’s a Quick Fix for Every Busy Parent

This is easy to forget in the hustle and bustle of parenting life, so I decided to set
up a visual cue. Something to serve as a gentle reminder for me to switch out of
survival mode a few times a day and ll my children’s tank with unconditional
love.
Because when you’re trying to stick to a habit, research shows that a visual cue
can remind you
(https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0446573906/ref=as_li_tl?
ie=UTF8&tag=hyhf-pos-words-
20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0446573906&li
nkId=85d0e7521cf1ec2d8f54eeebd96e97c8) of your intention when you’re most
likely to forget it. For example:
If you set a goal to eat healthier, you could leave a neon bright Post-It Note
on your fridge to remind yourself that “Snack = veggies only.”
Or if you wanted to stick to an exercise routine every morning, you could set
your workout clothes on your nightstand the night before.
For my visual cue, I made a nice printable list of all the positive things to say to
your child to show them you love them. I can stick this list of positive words for
kids on my fridge, tape it to my bathroom mirror, or leave it on the driver’s seat
of my car as a reminder every time we get in the car to go somewhere.
Below, you can download this free printable list () of positive messages for kids
as a visual cue for yourself.
Related: 7 Best Family Bonding Games That Will Help You Reconnect
Related: 7 Best Family Bonding Games That Will Help You Reconnect
Quickly (https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/family-bonding-games/)
75 Most Powerful Positive Sayings for Kids

Download your free printable list of the most powerful positive words for kids
here right now (). Then every time you see your printable list, say one of these
positive messages for kids to make your child feel absolutely loved.
Don’t forget to download the printable so you also get the list of three important
pitfalls to avoid when it comes to delivering these positive sayings for kids!
“ A quick caveat: You won’t nd phrases like “You’re so smart” to

praise your child’s abilities on this list because that kind of praise
can undermine your child’s motivation
ca u de e you c ds ot at o
(https://www.parentingscience.com/e ects-of-praise.html)
and even foster narcissism in your child. To learn more, check out
Here’s the Secret Phrase to Turn Your Kid Into an Amazing
Student (https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/secret-phrase-
better-student/). (Hint: It’s not “You’re so smart.”)
1. You are important to me.
2. I love spending time with you.
3. You make me smile.
4. I love you no matter what. (This one is made even more special if you rst
read the beautiful children’s book No Matter What
20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=0152063439
&linkId=2d956c3e55fd3aed44a2e3eb501b4a9d) together!)
5. I feel so lucky to be your mom/dad.
6. I’m proud of the person you are.
7. I love you from your toes to your nose to where your hair grows! (For extra
giggles, touch your child’s toes when you say “toes,” their nose when you say
“nose,” and the top of their head when you say the last line!)
8. You are beautiful to me, inside and out.
9. I thought of you today when… (Finish with a speci c time during the day that
you thought of your child.)
10. I like you. (Even if you say “I love you” regularly, does your child know you like
them too?)
11. Sometimes if I’m feeling sad, just thinking of you makes me feel better.
12. You can always talk to me, even if it’s about something that makes you
nervous or scared or sad.
13. I love to watch you… (Then give an activity your child enjoys, like play soccer,
get wrapped up in reading a book, make art, play your clarinet, and so on.)
14. You make my heart feel full.
15. I appreciate when you… (Finish with a speci c example of something your
child does that’s helpful or kind.)
16. You’re one of a kind.
17. I care about you more than you can imagine.
18. I’m grateful that you’re in my life.
19. I love your insides and your outsides!
20. I’m here for you, no matter what happens.
21. I’d love to hear what you think about… (Then ask your child’s opinion on
something that matters, like what to have for dinner, what to do on the
weekend, where to go on your next family vacation, and so on.)
22. My world is better with you in it.
23. I noticed you working hard on… (Finish with a speci c example when you
noticed your child pushing themselves to learn or grow or nish something.)
24. I believe in you.
25. I saw when you… (Then give a speci c example of your child doing something
helpful or kind.)
26. I love hearing your ideas.
27. You make a di erence in my life.
28. I love seeing the world through your eyes.
29. Seeing you happy makes me happy.
30. You matter to me.
31. I hope you have an awesome day today.
32. Anytime you need help, I’m here for you.
33. I love you just the way you are.
34. You are a precious treasure to me.
35. I respect you and your opinions.
36. We’re a team, you and me.
37. I love being your mom/dad.
38. Sometimes I look at you and think back to when you were younger, and…
(Finish with a speci c memory of when your child was younger.)
39. There’s only one you in the world.
40. I love your laugh/smile.
41. Nothing would ever make me stop loving you.
42. It’s you I like. Every part of you. (Perfect for fans of Mister Rogers
(https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004C4BOUK/ref=as_li_tl?
20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B004C4BOU
K&linkId=c329c8b4ef9b75a1f21fc243c916c4a5)!)
43. You’re an important part of this family.
44. It’s exciting to watch you grow up.
45. I’m so grateful you’re my daughter/son.
46. You can always come to me, no matter what.
47. I love you more than… (Then give a speci c example like more than all the
stars in the sky, more than all the sh in the sea, more than cupcakes love
sprinkles, and so on – feel free to come up with silly examples too!)
48. I will always be there for you.
49. Being your parent is my favorite part of life.
50. You are special to me.
51. Thank you so much for doing… (Finish with a speci c example of an action
your child took.)
52. You make life fun.
53. I love being around you, no matter what we’re doing.
54. You are my favorite 5-year-old.
55. I love you to the moon and back. (Or you can take this one step further by
adding on, like “I love you to the moon, past the end of our solar system, to
the next galaxy over and to every other galaxy in the universe, to the alien
planet no one knows about yet, and all the way back home.”)
56. I’m a fan of you. (This one is inspired by our favorite pick for family movie
night, We Bought a Zoo
(https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004LWZW9W/ref=as_li_tl?
20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B004LWZW
9W&linkId=aeaac1ef4bdb031a76ab3bf261e295b7).)
57. I love when we learn something new together.
58. I’m never too busy for you.
59. You light up my day.
60. That was a kind decision when you… (Then give a speci c example of
something your child did that was kind.)
61. I have fun when I’m with you.
62. I love you more than French fries. (Or insert your favorite food like pizza or
cupcakes.)
63. Seeing you smile makes me smile.
64. You’ll never get in trouble for talking to me about something that’s bothering
you.
65. I feel blessed to have you in my life.
66. You inspire me to be a better person.
67. Even if I’m feeling frustrated about something, I still love you.
68. I love the way your mind works.
69. You make me happy, just by being you.
70. I wouldn’t trade you for a million gabazillion dollars.
71. I love you when… or… (Finish with two very di erent examples, like “I love you
when you feel brave or scared” or “I love you when you’re serious or silly.”
The inspiration for this one came from the sweet children’s book called The I
Love You Book
&linkId=3dd7d4be614d503a82b91b7eb94f449e).)
72. I miss you when we’re apart. (Or you can go for the over-the-top version, “I
miss you when I blink,” which is also the name of a funny memoir from a
mom (https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/1982102802/ref=as_li_tl?
&linkId=d1029b882d7f1475af921e86c0bd87ec) about trying to do it all).
73. You can always tell me the truth, even if you’re scared to, and I will still love
you.
74. I wish I didn’t have to go to work so we could stay home together and play all
day!
75. I will love you always and forever.
Related: 150 Conversation Starters for Kids That Will Make You Closer Than
Ever (https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/conversation-starters-for-kids/)
{Printable}
But First, Beware of This Gotcha

Visual cues have one weakness. After a while, they become wallpaper.
In other words, after you get used to seeing the cue in your environment, the cue
stops reminding you. And this list of positive words for kids is not immune to this
phenomenon.
But there’s a simple x: When the cue stops catching your eye, just move it to a
di erent spot.
Here are a few di erent places you can put this free printable list of positive
sayings for kids. When the list starts blending into the background, move it to a
new place from this list.
The fridge
A door
The bathroom mirror
The dinner table
The driver’s seat of your vehicle
As a bookmark for whatever book you’re currently reading – your own

personal reading material or a read-aloud chapter book you’re using at
bedtime with your child
On your nightstand
Inside your kitchen pantry
Laid inside a drawer you open frequently, like in your dresser or bathroom
vanity
On the kitchen counter – for example, next to your co ee maker
Plus, here’s a bonus idea I love for an extra reminder: Change your password to
one of these positive sayings for kids every few days. Then whenever you enter
your password, it will be a reminder to say those positive words out loud to your
child.
For example, you could change your password to URImportant2Me! to represent

the phrase you are important to me.
The Best Times to Use These Positive Words for

Kids
Let’s say you’ve downloaded your free printable list of positive words for kids
(), and you hung it in a prominent spot in your home as a visual cue. Awesome!
But…now what? These are all beautifully positive things to say to your child, but
when do you say them?
Here are a few ideas for how to work these positive messages for kids into your
days:
Surprise your child by saying their name out of the blue, then saying a
phrase – bonus points if you bend down and get on their eye level rst
Pick a di erent phrase to say at bedtime every night while tucking your child
in – say it with a smile or whisper it while you give a big bear hug
If you’ve had a moment of disconnection like a disagreement or power
struggle, deliver one of these phrases with a hug, back rub, or pat on the
shoulder
Write a phrase down and leave it for your child to nd – a slip of paper in
your child’s school lunchbox, a Post-It note on the bathroom mirror, a
notecard on their pillow, and so on
When you notice your child seems sad or upset, say one of these phrases
If you notice your child struggling with something like homework or learning
something new, encourage them with one of these positive sayings for kids
Related: 10 Children’s Books That Will Make Your Kids Feel Absolutely Loved
(https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/picture-books-about-love/)
Download Your Free Cheat Sheet: 75 Positive

Words for Kids
Use this cheat sheet of positive things to say to your child to help you remember
to show your unconditional love for your child – even when life is busy.
1. Download the free cheat sheet. Join my weekly-ish newsletter and as a

bonus, you’ll get the printable! Just click here to download and subscribe ().
2. Print. Any paper will do the trick, but card stock

(http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B006P1ER8O/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_i
l_tl?
ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B006P1ER8O&linkCo
de=as2&tag=idealmom-20&linkId=UFDCVHLAVA6QNCMF) would be ideal.
3. Hang your cheat sheet somewhere handy like the fridge. See the But First,
Beware of This Gotcha section earlier in this post for ideas on how to keep the
reminder fresh and e ective.
4. Say a phrase to your child. A couple ideas for how to use the cheat sheet:
You could set yourself a personal goal of a certain number of positive things
to say to your child every day, or you could mark o each phrase as you use it
and try to get through the whole list within a certain period of time.
Here’s a sneak peek of your printable cheat sheet:
()
Download my FREE cheat sheet as a bonus for joining

my newsletter: 16 Miracle Phrases to Help You Reconnect
With Your Child
(https://kellyholmes.leadpages.co/leadbox/146e34a33f72a
2%3A113e11127346dc/5730304429916160/)
Your Turn
What are your favorite positive words for kids? Share in a comment below!
Hi, I'm Kelly. I'm a mom of four, a recovering perfectionist, and the
author of Happy You, Happy Family
(https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/happy-you). Parenting is
hard enough without all the guilt we heap on top of ourselves. So
let's stop trying to be perfect parents and just be real ones. Sound
good? Join my mailing list and as a bonus, you'll get 25+ incredibly
helpful cheat sheets
(https://kellyholmes.leadpages.co/leadbox/147e6d433f72a2%3A
113e11127346dc/5769401181667328/) that will ease your parenting
struggles.
150 Conversation Starters for Couples That Will Make You Feel
« Closer Than Ever
(https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/conversation-starters-for-couples/)
4 Leave a Reply
2 2 2    3

 Subscribe   newest  oldest  most voted
Melanie Guilbault 
Great list! Thanks for sharing.
 0   Reply  3 days ago 
Kelly 
Glad to hear it resonated with you, Melanie! :-)
 0  Reply  23 hours ago
Sarah 
What do you suggest instead of “You are smart”?
 0   Reply  3 days ago 
Kelly 
Hi Sarah! I wrote a post here about why that kind of praise has a negative impact on
kids (https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/secret-phrase-better-student/) and what to
use instead. Hope that helps!
 0  Reply  23 hours ago
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How To Make Your Child Feel Loved

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4/9/2019 How to Make Your Child Feel Loved: 75 Positive Words for Kids

How to Make Your Child Feel Absolutely

 Pinterest  Facebook  Email

“Put your shoes away.”

You haven t brushed your teeth yet?

The weight of my words crushes my chest, and my mind scrambles to remember:

Was I so focused on treading water in a neverending sea of parental to-dos –

Bonus: As a bonus for joining my weekly newsletter, download a free cheat

But Here’s the Problem

How Important Is It to Share Positive Words for

I realized it was time for a change.

(https://happyyouhappyfamily.com/how to connect with your child/)

Here’s a Quick Fix for Every Busy Parent

75 Most Powerful Positive Sayings for Kids

“ A quick caveat: You won’t nd phrases like “You’re so smart” to

1. You are important to me.

2. I love spending time with you.

3. You make me smile.

5. I feel so lucky to be your mom/dad.

6. I’m proud of the person you are.

8. You are beautiful to me, inside and out.

14. You make my heart feel full.

16. You’re one of a kind.

17. I care about you more than you can imagine.

18. I’m grateful that you’re in my life.

19. I love your insides and your outsides!

20. I’m here for you, no matter what happens.

22. My world is better with you in it.

24. I believe in you.

26. I love hearing your ideas.

27. You make a di erence in my life.

28. I love seeing the world through your eyes.

29. Seeing you happy makes me happy.

30. You matter to me.

31. I hope you have an awesome day today.

32. Anytime you need help, I’m here for you.

33. I love you just the way you are.

34. You are a precious treasure to me.

35. I respect you and your opinions.

36. We’re a team, you and me.

37. I love being your mom/dad.

39. There’s only one you in the world.

40. I love your laugh/smile.

41. Nothing would ever make me stop loving you.

43. You’re an important part of this family.

44. It’s exciting to watch you grow up.

45. I’m so grateful you’re my daughter/son.

46. You can always come to me, no matter what.

sprinkles, and so on – feel free to come up with silly examples too!)

48. I will always be there for you.

49. Being your parent is my favorite part of life.

50. You are special to me.

52. You make life fun.

53. I love being around you, no matter what we’re doing.

54. You are my favorite 5-year-old.

57. I love when we learn something new together.

58. I’m never too busy for you.

59. You light up my day.

61. I have fun when I’m with you.

63. Seeing you smile makes me smile.

65. I feel blessed to have you in my life.

66. You inspire me to be a better person.

68. I love the way your mind works.