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readme
issue #7,000,002
Internet: $3 Sep. 10 -Sep. 16, 2003

www.activitiesboard.orglreadme
Carnegie Melton's leading source of bad karma since 1895 -brought to you by the Activities Board

Campus Apathy Manifests into Giant


Monster, Sits on Giant Couch and
Watches Giant Cartoons
On Monday, the center of all apathyT on cam- It's suggested the monster came to life because
pus, an Introduction to World HistorjT lecture, of the high number of students that went to
erupted, spewing forth a class just to sleep. "This
giant 40 foot monster kind of apathy spreads
made entirely of assign- exponentialljT and I guess
ments that were turned in for no reason whatsoever
late. The monster, whom it manifested into this CMU Charges for
we'll call Ted from now
on, then proceeded to
thing," said some bum, a
self-proclaimed expert
Printing; Now Richer
leave the class room, on apathyT. He then asked then Bill Gates
harming no one, and the readme staff for Before the start of the semester, the
headed straight for the some change and shook CMU administration gleefull~T pur-
"O" to get some break- his cup of coins. chased low grade insurance plans for
fast. everyone and laughed all the way to
readme attempted to Mellon Bank.
"I was just sitting there interview Ted, who is
trj7ing to take a nap when Canceled football game? Meh, who cares? currentl~T staying in But with the stock market still in the
all o f . a su ~ - eii there Gesling Stadium, on a dump and the endowment hovering
-~~..
were these cool lightning special effects like huge couch he found on the street. "Ted was around a $1.50, Warner Hall has come
when the Terminator is sent back in time and just kinda hanging out watching some car- up with another brilliant plan to fleece
then I saw this huge creature made of papers. toons but he didn't want to answer any ques- money out of the poor and innocent
It roared, scratched itself, and walked right out. tions. He just wanted to pla~T some Soul CMU students: charging 25 cents per
It was the most apathetic monster I've ever Caliber with us and then go to sleep," said printed page.
seen," said freshman math major Greg readme editor and resident procrastinator
Beckham. Chris Rotella. "It was a brilliant idea! When I thought

Art Students Build Fort on the Cut


of the plan, I was blown away by how
brilliant it was! I thought to myself,
`That's why you're el Presidente!' "said
Pilnev and Rick Svlvan were
J J
shelves and old cluster chairs President Cohon, who then started to
building asuper-duper, totally over from Baker Hall, James grunt and flex his muscles.
awesome fort. .finally explained that the pur-
pose of the fort was to keep CMU implemented the plan in their
During a long and arduous out the Samurai (or in this usual secretive st~Tle. "Man, it was like I
day, the two art majors case, Samurai action figures). was poked in the ass before I even knew
worked relentlesslyT, stacking The fort was soon tri- my pants were down" said an art major,
cushions, hanging various umphantly completed, so the who quickljT clarified that he did not dis-
Artist's rendition of the fort sides and corners of the two juniors began playTing like the feeling, but just that he pre-
r1s the year starts up again, art sheet, turning the couch and with Power Ranger Pogs. ferred to be informed before such
students are eager to get back love seat in all varieties of Later that day, they were things take place.
to building things the rest of positions. BST the end of the joined by three eight-year-
us don't understand. Last day, they just weren't satisfied. olds who had wandered away With unknowing students still printing
Monday morning, two stu- "It was rea11~T cool how you from the D a~T Care and pages like it was free, CMU has official-
dents carried a large sofa, love could walk into the couch Psychological Experiment l~T become the richest school in the
seat, some sheets, and a flash- part from the love seat part, center and were playing Super world. President Cohon is even plan-
light into the grassy area or foy7er if yTou will," Nintendo with Pitney and ning to set up satellite campuses all over
between Wean and explained Rick. "The prob- Sylvan. "It was super duper," the United States by buying up all the
Baker/Porter. r1 readme lem was, there just wasn't said one of the kids. "I think Ivy League schools. "I shall insert
reporter happened to be enough room to fight the I just made a pooper." The Mellon into all their names!" said
walking by on the way to Samurai action figures." tyke then flicked boogers at Cohon, before asking the readme
"office hours", and learned the readme reporter. They reporter if ~ Cormellon University
that these students, James after hauling a couple book tasted good. sounded good.
Issue 7,000,002 - readme p. 2 - September 10 -September 16

Freshman Has Uncomfortable Laundry Moment


Freshman Donald Gulliver, after about
three weeks, finally ran out of underwear
last Thursday. Figuring that h.is first trip to
the l~Iorewood laundry room wouldn't be
too awful, he simply entered the room
expecting to do laundry.
Mr. Rogers at Large
09/04/03 7:56 pm
"I told him very carefully that you should The ghost of Mr. Rogers was seen outside a
separate darks- or anything with bright col- screening of "Kids." He went inside to see
ors- from whites, or light-colored clothing," the movie but one student saw him leave
his mother told readme. "I then reminded after the first few minutes: "Yea, I'm pretty
him about that pair of boxers his brother sure he was crying."
threw into the laundry that one time. You Dear Penthouse, You're never going to
know, the bright red ones? And how all of believe this... Questionable Sandwich
his white Hanes briefs turned pink? And entire Load of panties. It was really weird for
me. rind then she walked in." As it turned
Meats
how embarrassed he was when Lisa (who
was only 5 then) started telling people he out, Collins was worried about just this so~.-t 09/03/03 10:45 am
was wearing pink underwear? Well, that was o f thing happening. An unnamed food service employee is
onl-" she continued, before the readme reported to have undergone severe liposuc-
reporter got bored, rolled his eyes, and "Usually I just stay in the laundry room, but tion. UnrelatedlyT, a yet to be identified cold
stopped listening, but noted that she was I had a lot of homework, so I set a timer. It cut is now available at several vendor loca-
totally hot. went off, I went downstairs, and there tions.
was...HIM [Gulliver]." r~ccording to both
But once Donald got to the laundry room, sources, G~~ll~ver and Collins exchanged an Ain't Got No Game
he found that, in fact, all of the washers awkward silence, Collins finished moving
were full of other peoples' clothes. "I didn't her things to the dryer, and stayed in the 09/06/03 1 am
laundry room while her things dried. A student reported yTesterday morning that
really know what to do about it. So I just
G~~il~ver left his stuff in the washer and his game had been stolen. "I woke up," he
picked a washer and started taking the
went to play Halo. said, "and I wasn't fly no more."
clothes out, and making a pile on top of an
empt~T dryer," Gulliver said. The only prob-
lem: Lucille Collins, a buxom sophomore Gulliver declined to comment on what her Hammerschlag Schlongs
drama major, and owner of the thongs. "It thongs were like, and left the interview after 09/09/03 6:36 p.m.
was totally weird. He was touching all of my readme reporters asked if her, A Resident Advisor in Ha,inmerschlag was
thongs." "...Strawberry Shortcake thong was scratch- dismissed last week when certain indecent
arid-sniff." However, later that night, a behaviors came to light. A traumatized resi-
"She must have had seven hundred- unmen- readme correspondent got to know Collins dent said, "He kept saying he would `advise
tionables," said Gulliver, blushing red at the a little better. "The~T are scratch-and-sniff. me to a residence' in his pants."
memory. "I just opened the washer, and it And they are s~ectacz~lar," said the readme
was thong after thong. It .was almost an reporter.

After Four Years in Hiding, The Real Slim Shady Heroically Stands Up
Following the popularity of Eminem's hit TRSS: Well, I was like every norma137 year- But I was proud, so I put one of those fin-
song of the same name, The Real Slim old guy, I was living with my parents and I gers on each hand up and stood up.
Shady, or Bob Ritchie, attempted to escape had a pretty decent job at Burger King, spit-
over-exposure and went into hiding. He quit tin' on your onion rings. readme: What was the first thing you did
his job and took up hiding in his parents' after standing up?
basement refusing to stand up. For four readme: Why go into hiding? TRSS: I got into car and found the closest
long years, he remained sitting or laying TRSS: I had this nickname way before parking lot I could find. I rolled mjT windows
down, but now that he has finally stood up, Eminem even got the idea for this song. I down and turned my system up. Then I did
readme has scored an exclusive interview was afraid people would make fun of me donuts and screamed "I don't give a f*~k."
with this fake personality. because of it. He just kept asking for me to
stand up and pretty soon all my co-workers readme: Thanks for the interview
readme: How'd you get the nickname? would ask me to stand up. I guess they TRSS: No problem. Can I talk about my
The Real Slim Shady: Well, my friends thought it was funny. new album?
always told. me I kept it real all the time, and
I'm pretty skinny. Also, I'm a total pervert, readme: So why did you choose now to readme: Sure
which is kind of shady. come out of hiding? TRSS: Yea, so my new album drops next
TRSS: Well, the song's popularity sort of month. It's produced by the real Dr. Dre.
readme: What was going on in your life, died down and I realized that I was pretty We're representin' the 412 fo shizzle.
right before the song was released? much out of my mind and out of control.
1ssue 7,000,002 - readme p. 3 - September 10 -September 16

CS Major Pickup Uncle readme's DatingeQuiz _.


Lines: Version
;:::;..~
2." :~o ~rn~st ~f:~~ ~C~-majors excl-ud:e~.~ ~a~~:~~ ca~.~ others :back hone; CS~
..... { ~. a ~. :. .. .
~, ~ ~:y
erna Ors: of _ta: b~~ . t~:e~.t . s~ scant others ~~.th. t~.er~ : Some o~. : .ou . rya:
e ~ .
hav=e ~.~t sc~m~a~.e else ~ax P~:~y~fai~-, ,thee... g~-~ate~t. d. -~:ir~.ge serv~:ee of all Vie, and.
e ..
aye nova: ~-~tlg ~ to c~:~ctd~ ~.~vho to d~te~: the ~s~ee~ cane ~ you.: c~u1d. c
best;:: friend, a~ ~this near ~.ot~.e ~. th~:t's hit. i~ a mall hQt war. : Fear~ ~nQt,~ ~f~t
.e e .,
Uncle t.~e~de~ lzas created. tits . .. l~.and.~r=dar~d~r
ee e quiz tc~. l~.e~p yc~~... on... ...~th;e
. pat1~:~-
.... .. . to
~.e .da

Does the frequency of your significant What do you look for in a sig fig?
other's (hereafter referred to as "sig fig") a) Nice body
Did someone say threesome? calls merit a restraining order? b) Nice personality
a) Haha, `Tes, I can't even answer the phone c) Nice smell
Is that a Newton in your pocket or you anymore. Help. d) Dual genitalia
just happy to see me? b} Though the heavy breathing gets out of Do you want to break up with your old
control, I guess I don't really mind. sig fig?
I'd like to fsck your hard drive c) No, but I really wish he/she would call a) Yes.
more... b) No.
Can I insert a node into your binary tree? d) Yes, but I'm really into the stalker thing.
Have you received mail from your sig fig Now, the all-important key to the quiz:
Hey baby, can I probe your MAC address? since starting CMU?
a) Yes, I get e-mail notifications of packages Mostly a's: You've already moved past your
Mind if I link to your libraries? everyday flowers and candy. old sig fig; why are you even taking this quiz?
b) Yes, but only one, letting me know how Get with the new hottie and start making
I've got a FireWire. Got a port? much he/she misses me. babies.
c) No, but I've sent him/her a few letters, Mostly b's: You're a fence-sitter, which
You seem to have a couple security holes. letting him/her know I miss him/her. means you can't truly be committed to of
mind if I patch them? d) Bondage gear, Pissing Grannies magazine, rusty back home. Give it up: break up with
rotten fruit, and dismembered livestock. him/her, find a new hottie and start making
Want to go up to my room and see my Have you already found a suitable babies.
iPod? replacement sig fig here at CMU? Mostly c's: You're whipped. There is no
a) Yes, and we've had sex while avoiding the hope for you, and, believe it or not, your sig
Can I grep your source tree? old one's calls. fig from home is cheating on you. With me.
b) Yes, but I feel really bad about it. Give it up: break up with him/her, find a
Can I load my device driver into your ker- c) No, I would never dream of cheating on new hottie .and start making babies.
nel? him/her. A to question 6: Break up with your old sig
d) Yes, but the old one is cool with it, and is ~•
I'd like to analyze your algorithm. really looking forward to playing the filling B to question 6: You're in denial; break up
o f ~an OREO. with your old sig fig.
Which parts of you are executable? Which of the following makes the most Mostly d's: You and your sig fig are both
ideal partner? sick, and you're made for one another.
Up for a port scan? a) Ron Jeremy People like you make life more interesting,
b) Glory hole in the men's bathroom but we're going to have to tell you to break
I'd like to manipulate ~=our bits. c) What? up. We're not really comfortable with the
d}Abreast pump idea of you making babies.
My uptime is over a month, and growing.

Ecliting ~&Writing Staff


31337: Chris Rotella
1337: Muffin, Aileen D'Esposito, Dana Vinson, Chaos, Greg Modzelewski, Brian Leahy, Brian Gray,
Pete Milder, Ashley Holtgraver, Bhiago Berson, Esteban Bowles-Martinez, '~, Andrey Dolgov, Alison
Lauer, Yuhua Li, AB Hair Chris Smoak, Fred Merkle, Nazil Kfoury, Alisa Brown, and Zachary Harris
What is readme? Well, it's funny and it's useful. And free. So it's better than sliced bread.
Who makes it? readme is printed by the Activities Board, sponsored by your student activities fee
Where do I get it? readme is handed out at AB events, left in stacks around campus activities board
Online: www.activitiesboard.org/readme
How do I help? Email crotella~~andrewcmu.edu. We need funny writers, non-funny writers, and Photoshopers
And remember: I swear that's not a picture of me.
Issue 7,000,002 -readme p. 4 - September 10 -September 16
l"his is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life

AIM Pays Off Cheap Movies at


readmecmu talks with Personel94.
He goes to: Quke, so he's newer seen a= readme: McConomy
Person~l~4' is this one ~f:. tlz~se tl~zgs Persane194~ its the differece between say- just go already
where people ~ryT to say fumy stuff ~g~ san~eth~ng ~f`~.~z~~T: .for ~ sake of l~eit~g All the nights, brought to you by AB, except
readmecmu ~Tou p~bple `o~ ~eadr~.e.~eo- funny and.~~.esay e.~ so~x~.et g fu.n~.y be~ause- Saturday which is SDC. 1 Buck.
~ . e
ple? ~.t lapperxs to be funn~.~ .
I'er~a~+e1~4 ~we p~o~Ie? Pe~so~:el94: ~unzdr ~is f~.i e~ ~he~. it
P~~son.~1~4~ i think comes
re~,d~rne.c~nuy ~Fou don't la~re to :be fi I'~ersa~xel4 ~1~:~~:~ ~Tou're ~~t~ lookih.g for a Wednesday, September 10: Serial
I're~sor~.e1~4 +can we be astute!? joke ~~~=make . . Mom 10, 12
readme~ciaia~.u~ but .if ~~rc~u~ ~areg re~d .e ~.n€~.ght Pe~so~nfel~4::wh~n~ you dust sei~~ ~Qn ari~ ~ , OK, sure, it makes sense to kill a nosy neigh-
~u.t~~~~ou in: the, rtiaga~ne ~~~~~~ oppo~rl-t~x~: tyT:. t~~.t
. ~, arises: tliat~ n.o~~~ forced bor or two if they're really stepping on your
1'~erso~.~194: ~ ~dot get it.: ~:. it seems .ta readi~ecmu... ahh ~~see view of what Tour perfect family should be
m~ like most of tlze:.lutx~Qr .~7ou'd:;ge~. r~ad:m~Gxnu: so: bas~.cally all of tl~e: hum€~r (IS! IS! IT IS!) like. But when you start killing
would' be~.forced . in: ~ead.me: is~ forced people to cover up the trail o f killing
read~n.ec~nu:: tleres humor=th~.t isn't 1'~ersane~~4 ~indeed people...it might be worth it to stop and ask
forced? Pearsonel~4: which d:oesnt mean its ~:ot yourself, "Am I killing for good? Or am I just
I'~ers~~e194 ohhh indeed! fu iy::it just doses a lit~.e: bit af. umph killing?"
~ea~:iri.~cmu~~ok r~admecmu.so~.you.pr~pose that reac~m
~ead?~ne~m~~. i'xn fozcing. y.ou to show me rx~o l~s ~inta~ a tra~reli:~~ spon~arieous coxx~.: ~. Thursday, September 11:
. - .
humor th~.t: isn't~forced . ed~T~ apt? :. Metropolis 7:30, 10, 12:30
readme Interviews Three Random Complete compartmentalization of the econ-
omy makes Jack a dull boy. Or at least, gener-
Freshman, then Lets Them Write an Article ally incomplete. So Jack goes to discover how
the other half lives. And dude, Fritz Lang.
readme: So what are your readme: What's your
names? favorite cheese? Friday, September 12: Bend it .
Nazli: Do you want our A: Ricotta Like Beckham 8, 10, 12
actual names? N: French feta. Unsalted Tomboy movies with repressive parents is
Z: Pepper jack totally the new black. This one's about Soccer,
readme: No I want your and instead of just being plain black, they
porn names readme: Those are kinda spice up the repression a bit by making it an
N: I really do have one! disgusting Indian family, and the dialogue by setting the
Nikki Nutnuzzler. I didn't Zaeh: I could have my real ,.,
movie in England so you get the neat accents.
make it up. answer: the joke about the The future of readme: be
Zach: The next questions is super model with the yeast afraid Saturday, September 13: Bruce
how you got into the infection.
~-lctivities Board.
Almighty 8, 10, 12
readme: Lemme see if this No, they couldn't get Bruce Campbell to be a
readme: No thanks. So article is long enough yet wacky guy who has all the powers of God,
readme: hey, I'm asking the after this "experience" do A: Can I play with the pic- because that would be too much Bruce. Which
questions here you plan on ever coming ture? sucks, because Bruce Campbell would've been
Z: Suck it back to AB?
so much better a deity. He's harder core than
Z: Hell no. readme: No. So you've met Jim Carney, at least. Which isn't to diss Jim
readme: So how did you A: Only if you have cold three r~B chairs. Who's your Carney, it's just that ever since Dumb and
get involved in the pizza and film cards to fold favorite, keeping in mind Dumber, he really hasn't made me have severe
Activities Board? t11at you want to get on my asthma attacks due to laughing. Ah, well. See it
N: Alisa called us. readme: What time is it? staff? anyway, since it's his frost movie in ages.
Alisa: Yeah, they're Z: Around one. This is All: I like her
whipped. What can I say? actually the first time since I
moved in that I've done
Sunday, September 14~:
readme: Screw you. You're
readme: So what do you useful stuff this late. Dellamorta Dellamore (cemetary
fired.
think o f the Activities Z: Not if we quit.
Man) 8, 10, 12
Board so far? readme: you call this use- La la la, hangin' out in the cemetary. La la la,
A: Street fighter kicks ass. ful? dead people come to life. La la la, kill them
readme: Touche
Z: It's all relative again. Ours is not to wonder why...just keep
killi„' `em. For some, it's just another job...but
for the truly lucky, you can learn to love the
work...
Issue 7,000,002 - readme p. 5 - September 10 -September 16
This is the True section, where we tell you how to live your life

From the Desk of Student


Body President
Dan Gilman
One of the greatest aspects of student life at
:::::::. Carnegie Mellon is the number of student
organizations on campus. We have well over 100
There's all these genres with "Post-" in active student groups on campus that provide
front of the name —Post-Punk, Post- great extra-curricular opportunities. All of our
Modern, etc. But byr far, the most puz- campus organizations add to the.. character and
zling of .these is "Post-Rock," particularly diversity of our campus, and each deserve ade-
because it's asub-category of rock. And quate funding.
though you've never heard of them (or
the genre), Cursive is at the forefront of
This past year, the Joint Funding process saw a
post-rock. record number of organizations request annual
budgets. The Joint Funding Committee (JFC)
Their music brings to mind a mixture of a very quickly realized that there simply was not
variet~T of genres and bands -they're list- enough money to satisfy the need on campus.
ed with the likes of Lake Trout, Shudder Currently, each student grad and undergrad pays
to Think Fugazi and Radiohead though
N~~
. .....:
•;;ti ~~~_ _
,•i
\'\~~ ~\}:y::?:Y: {t:r~'r}is:?•3:~r::.; rhT?~\i::.,,ti,•r.~.. ~~4• .~~.~.~ •.-`.~.:r:~~1ti':
a Student Activities Fee of $74 a semester.
Cursive doesn't actually sound like any of instead has two of three full-length `KThile there has been a significant increase in the
the above. Pounding drums, jagged gui- albums that fall into the category of "con- number of organizations on campus in recent
tars, acellist as a permanent band mem- cept albums," following a coherent stor-~T years, the Activities Fee has not been increased
ber, and abstract, emo-esque 1~7rics all fit line. The first of these, The Storms of .Earl► significantly to reflect these changes.
together into a nice (though somewhat STlln~er: Semantics of Song, chronicles the
bizarre) package.. demise of a man; their most recent work, In order to review the current level of the
TI~e U~ Organ, describes the demise of a Activities Fee, as well as how the fee is handled
And as opposed to so many bands out relationship. after collection, I have formed an Ad Hoc
there now, Cursive is actually intelligent Committee on the Activities Fee. This conunit-
music. They do their own thing rather Cursive brings with them emo/indie types tee is chaired by Student Body Vice President
than following whatever genre is currently the Blood Brothers and Japanese emo act Gilbert Dussek, and has both graduate and
"in," they are talented and go far beyond Eastern Youth, who released a split EP undergraduate members. The committee is
the power chords and rattling bass domi- with Cursive last jTear. So if you're one of going to review data collected from our peer
nant in hard rock right now, and perhaps those types who likes to keep on top of institutions, to determine what, if any, changes
most noticeably, their lyrics go beyond the the lesser-known sides of the music indus- Carnegie Mellon needs to make. They will then
usual fare of modern rock. No "poor me, try, or if you're just tired of the same bor- report back to me their findings, which I will
my girlfriend dumped me" or "let's get ing rap-metal and whining on the radio, present to the Student Senate and GSA.
drunk and break stuff " here, Cursive this is a show well worth checking out.
If you have any opinions on this issue, please
feel free to contact me at sbp@andrew.cmu.edu.
As progress is made on this issue, I will be sure
to share new information with you.

If they're not The doughnuts aren't Only in Texas


late covered... even that good In Texas, police respond-
ing to a `disturbance' at a
In New Jersey, Rutgers In Detroit, a pair of guys hotel found a woman cov-
University, as part of their hijacked a Krispy Kreme ered in blood and a man
56th annl~al "Bug Bowl" truck carrying 1800 dough- walking around naked. His
held acricket-spitting cofn- nut, and held it for ransom: excuse was that he was
petition. It's just like a $100. The cops found one making a porno movie, but
watermelon seed-spitting of the guys, but no sign of there were no cameras anyT-
competition, except with the truck. It probably where. When the police
crickets. My feeling can would have been easiest to tried to apprehend him,
best be expressed by one just give them the damn "He fought with the offi-
of the contestants: money. cers and also defecated and
"Because it's frozen, it urinated on them during
makes it easier, they~re not the struggle." The girl was-
all squirmy." n't seriously injured.
Events and Things On and Off Campus
Wednesday, September 10 Ray's Music Exchange, The BRIDGE ~~ Sunshine
movie: Serial Mom. McConomy. 10, 12. ~1 Daydreams Campground, Terra .Alta, `SUV
README: readme meeting. 3rd floor UC Lounge 6pm movie: Bruce Almighty. McConomy 8, 10, 12. ~1.

Thursday, September 11 Sunday, September 14


event: APhiO's Billiards & BBQ, West Wing TV Room, concert: Ace Troubleshooter° ~~ American Music Cafe,
5-7pm Murrysville, PA
concert: Adam Evil &The Outside Royalty ~~ Buskers, concert: Charlie Daniels Band ~~ Fisher Auditorium,
9pm, ~6, 21+ Indiana, PA
concert: Ekoostik Hookah ~~ 123 Pleasant Street, concert: "Radiotakeover Tour" w/ Fall Out Boy,
Morgantown,`~TV Trouble Is, Acceptance, Spitalfield ~~ VF'W, Charleroi,
concert: Acumen Nation, Celldweller ~~ Club Laga, 6:30 PA
pm, $12 movie: Cemetary Man. McConomy. 8, 10, 12. 1
concert: Better Off Dead, Ever Since Radio, Giving
Chase, Robot Hum ~~ VF`W, Charleroi, PA Monday, September 15
movie: Metropolis. McConomy. 8, 10, 12. ~1 concert: Cursive, The Blood Brothers, Eastern Youth ~~
Club Laga, 7pm, ~12
Friday, September 12 concert: Ted Leo (Solo}, Rebecca Gates ~~ Quiet Storm
art: "ALL YOU CAN EAT" ~~ the Frame 7-10pm. concert: Kings of Leon, 22-20's, Jet ~~ Rosebud, 8 pm,
Food available. X12
concert: The Flash Express ~~ 31st Street Pub concert: Syd ~ Waynesburg College, Waynesburg, PA
concert: The Recipe, Two Cow Garage ~~ Boykin Ball,
Acme, PA Tuesday, September 16
concert: Niamh Parsons ~~ Club Cafe concert: Voodoo Glow Skulls ~~ American Music Cafe,
concert: Diamond Rio ~~ Seven Springs Resort, Murrysville, PA
Champion, PA concert: Damien Rice ~~ Club Cafe
concert: Al Stewart ~ Three Rivers Wine &Dine Fest concert: Raveonettes, Stella,star*, Kittens For Christian
movie: Bend it Like Beckham. McConomy. 8, 10, 12 ~1 ~~ Rosebud, 7pm, ~12, 18+
concert: Christiansen, JamisonParker, Straylight Run ~~
-Saturday, September 13 The Upstage ~~ Club Laga, 7pm, ~8
event: Ice Cream w/ APhiO. Danforth Lounge. 4:30-
6pm. Wednesday, September 17
games: Online Games Society Open Game Event.Soul concert: Tim Reynolds, Kaki King ~~ Hard Rock Cafe,
Calibur 2, DDR Max, Super Smash Brothers Melee and 9 pm, $15; 18+
Super Puzzle Fighter 2. ~~ West Wing TV Lounge, 2- concert: Mark Wills ~~~ State Theatre Center for the
7pm Arts, Uniontown, PA
concert: The Recipe, Psychedelic Breakfast @Boykin
Ball, Acme, PA
concert: Kill Hannah ~~ Club Laga, 7pm, $6
concert: David Allan Coe ~~ Jamboree USA, Do you have events?
~Uheeling,~SU~T Do you like FREE advertising?
concert :Anson Funderburgh &The Rockets With Sam
Myers ~ Moondog's
YOU DO?!
Email crotella@andrew.cmu.edu with your event informa-
concert: Lotus, Siamese, 3 Apples High ~~ Mr. Small's
tion. Include a description, the time, date, location and
Theatre cost. We will include it in this event listing ABSOLUTELY
concert: Dwight Yoakam ~~ Pepsi Cola Roadhouse, FREE! Believe it or not, people actually read this thing.
Burgettstown,PA, 8 pm, $65-85/4 person table I mean, you are, right?
Acoustic Alchemy ~~ Rosebud, 8 pm, ~17, 21+

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