Bullhorn’s Best of 2005 Staff Picks

published in the Rocky Mountain Bullhorn

week of May 26 – June 1, 2005

Head Shop: High Country Gifts – Kate Tarasenko

646 S. College Avenue
Choosing a head shop in Fort Collins is like choosing a music venue – we’ve been blessed with an embarrassment of riches. But if forced to declare a
favorite, we choose High Country for their dizzying array of glass-blown "gifts" (both decorative and functional). We’re also secretly fond of the per-
vading patchouli that greets you when you walk in, and stays with you when you get home. It’s not quite as pernicious as cat pee, but can you believe
that some people actually hate it? (Listen, you don’t want to smell a real hippie anyway.)

Reason to Sneak into Walmart at 2 a.m.: condoms – Kate Tarasenko

1250 E. Magnolia (east Mulberry at Lemay)
It’s so easy to bash Wal-Mart, but if you’re gonna get your freaknast-ay on at 2 a.m. and still have the presence of mind to buy a raincoat for Mr.
Johnson, you KNOW you’re driving those couple miles east. Ever since the Son of Sam switched over from those telltale blue mylar bags to generic
white, closet Wal-Mart patrons have been less introverted about their bipolar consumer politics. But be forewarned: shopping off-hours is a bit of an
obstacle course. Pallets loaded eight feet high block almost every aisle, and those runaway industrial floor buffers have the official right-of-way. Tak-
ing back the night isn’t all that convenient, but it IS discreet. You can peruse the Trojan shelf and make a deliberate man-sheath decision, for a change
(thin, ribbed, lubed, flavored, colored, animal noises, GPS-compatible, etc.). And male transvestites can leisurely shop for fashionable, new women’s
underthings without creeping out the regulars. (Come to think of it, that was in K-Mart…)

Place to Hit a Homerun: Lee Martinez Park – Kate Tarasenko

600 Sherwood Street (North College at Cherry)
While it’s always good to be prepared, you won’t necessarily need those emergency condoms you just bought from Wal-Mart to score here. Truly a
family-use park, rather than just a scenic driveby installation of manicured non-native lawn, this premiere, 90-acre recreational haven was dedicated
20 years ago to community booster and Human Relations Commission member Librado Martinez. It features the historic and kid-friendly interactive
attraction simply called The Farm, as well as the ever-popular gem of Fort Collins, the Poudre River Trail.

It’s also home to summer softball leagues, including this paper’s own "Bullhorn Ballers," whose tragic win-loss record is inextricably tied to some
tough-love karma -- owing not to its fearless, underdog devotion to upright journalistic integrity in the face of sometimes overwhelming odds, but to
the team’s proliferation of stank, moldering cigarette butts they leave behind in the dugout season after season.
(So ick!)

Carnivorous Feast: Charco Broiler – Kate Tarasenko

1716 E. Mulberry
If you’re determined to strap on a bovine feedbag, take it from the locals who know. Ranchers and farmers have been filling up the parking lot since
1957 for the $3.95 breakfasts starting at 6 a.m. (after milking and before haying). While we appreciate the critical market response that this venerable
diner of gustatorial delight has provided in the wake of all this hoopla surrounding health and diet (i.e., "crisp salads," "a nice selection of seafood"),
we come for dense protein of the corn-fed kind. We want our plaque full-on. We want the sizzle AND the steak. Hand-cut, choice-grade, thankyou-
verymuch.

Downtown Retailer: Al’s Newsstand – Kate Tarasenko

177 North College Avenue
Defying the economic odds of all mom-and-pops struggling in Everytown, U.S.A., Al’s is a downtown institution that opens at 7:30 every morning
and stays open till 9 p.m. (8 p.m. on Sundays). It’s your one-stop shop for domestic and imported ciggies and stogies, along with more than 4,000 lo-
cal, national and international titles of books, magazines and newspapers (including all five pounds of the Sunday New York Times). Be sure to check
out the long, narrow store front to back to see the regular rotation of cards and novelty gifts. Our current staff fave is the "Cat-a-pult," and the few dol-
lars we spent were paid back in hours of work-avoiding hilarity (all in the name of research).

City Service: Parks & Recreation Department – Kate Tarasenko

Administrative offices located at 214 North Howes Street
The city’s Rec Department oversees a gamut of facilities, from the Senior Center and Skate Park to the Pottery Studio and Gardens on Spring Creek.
They’ve recently published "The Recreator," which sounds like the hero of a dark graphic novel engaged in questionable pursuits. It’s really a handy
online and hard-copy magazine featuring a calendar of city-sponsored special events and classes geared toward a wide range of ages and interests.
And, believe it or not, the pools open on May 26.

Sweet-tooth Haven: Walrus Ice Cream -- Kate Tarasenko

125 W. Mountain Avenue
Owner John Paugh is still peddling the urban legend that his shop was the inspiration for the Beatles’ song of the same name. But when pressed for
which came first -- the song, or the decor of walrii in various states of dreamy, creamy carb-induced comas -- John suddenly has to take a phone
call… We don’t care, because in addition to some of the best homemade tastes and funky cones by which to transport them to your gob, the Walrus
has a free gimmick that’s hard to pass up: their "special flavor" of the week. This week’s offering includes the word "carnival" and the ingredient
"mustard." (Make mine vanilla…)

##