The Nights I Lost and Found You

It was a night just like any other. The stars were twinkling in the deep blue sky, decorating the space
around the glowing full moon as it was slowly obscured by gray clouds moving sluggishly across the
sky. A light snowfall fell around the streets of the big city, snowflakes shining as the soft, orange
streetlights hit them.
As I stood on the corner of the road, watching dozens of strangers and fellow city-goers walk past me,
I couldn’t help but feel a twinge of nostalgia. Somehow, by mere coincidence, I happened upon the
exact street corner where he and I last parted. As I stood waiting for the crosswalk sign to start blinking
with the little blue man, the way it did when traffic stopped, I couldn’t help but glance forward and
notice something I didn’t see before. The small, local bakery across the street we used to frequent – it
was the same as it was five years ago. The bench to my right, where we used to sit in between our walks
and laugh and talk about anything and everything, was worn but familiar.
I inhaled slowly, contemplating why I was here. As I exhaled, I saw my breath fog in front my face in
the mid-December air. I wasn’t ready for the bombardment of my memories, which were largely
unwanted and unexpected. I only came to this part of the city because of my coworker’s birthday. Her
favorite restaurant was based here, and she insisted on inviting even those of us from work, so I came
along. It had been such a long time since the last time I was here that I had forgotten about him and this
neighborhood. About the best and worst part of my life. It was a part of me I had left in the dusty back
cupboards of my memories long ago, and I would’ve been happy if it stayed that way.
I sighed, trying to shake away my thoughts even as they weighed down on my shoulders like bags of
sand. I didn’t want to continuously look around me, at every inch of this street that was dotted with
fading memories of his smile. But I couldn’t help it – this was one of those things where no matter how
dreadful something may be, your eyes can’t help but to latch on and watch. To this day, I still don’t
know what went wrong that night. How our happiness crashed the way it did – suddenly, and without
any warning. I didn’t want to know what could have been had it gone smoothly, because if I thought
about that, I may never be able to heal or move on from this. From him. From the love we shared.
The passing seconds spent standing there felt like years. However, time seemed to stop altogether
when I glanced across the road, and by mere chance, locked eyes with a pair of green irises I didn’t ever
expect to see again. I didn’t believe it at first; after all, there was no way that he, of all people, of all
times, was standing there. But he was. He looked to be in shock as well, even though a good distance
spanned between us. Our eyes widened simultaneously, and the next second, the little blue man started
blinking, and we started running.
We ran to each other as if there was no tomorrow, as if the devil himself was snipping at our heels.
The crowds we passingly glanced at before faded from our minds, the world around us blurring. My
heart started racing faster than it ever did in those five years we were apart, and the only things I felt
other than the blood pumping through me were my feet pounding the pavement beneath me and my
arms shoving aside faceless people. I never once looked away from his eyes, fearing that if I did, this
truly would be the last time I ever saw him.
As we finally crashed into each other, I couldn’t help the silent tears and low gasps that escaped. It
was him. It was truly him. I tried to suppress these emotions of mine after that night, not wanting to ever
feel the amount of pain I felt back then. The heart-wrenching pain you only ever feel when you lose the
person dearest to you and you have no way to stop it.
But none of that mattered now, because we found each other again. And as we stood there holding
each other with the rest of the world muted, I had an epiphany of sorts.

He still loved me, and I still loved him. We always did, and we always will.