How BTS Saved My Life . . .

Hey guys, buckle in because this is going to be a l . . o . . n . . g one!

Anyone who has met me recently can tell you that I absolutely L O V E the music of the Korean
group - BTS. My dad will tell you I am obsessed, my coworkers will tell you that I am obsessed,
and one look at my social media accounts will tell you I am obsessed. But no one has stopped to
ask me: "Why this group? Why their music?" Well, for starters, a client of mine is actually the
one who introduced me to them. This client was constantly asking to listen to them during our
sessions, and I finally decided to give the group a real listen on my own time. When I closed the
client out of services with me, I made it a point to thank them for introducing me to a group that I
have grown to not only respect but completely trust.

A little background on the group . . . BTS (Bangtan Sonyeondan) started in South Korea in 2013
through a very small company called BigHit. There are seven members (RM/Kim Namjoon; Jin/Kim
Seokjin; Suga/Min Yoongi; J-Hope/Jung Hoseok; Jimin/Park Jimin; V/Kim Taehyung; and Jungkook/Jeon
Jungkook) and each bring a variety of skillsets/talents to the group. BTS is one of many “K-Pop”
groups, and the members are identified as "idols" in South Korea. Their popularity has grown
over the years, with it recently exploding after more appearances across the globe and their last
world tour. There is also this common misconception that their fandom, known as the ARMY,
consists solely of "crazy teenage girls." THIS IS NOT THE CASE - MORE ON THAT IN A
BIT!

Part of the reason for their popularity, and what distinguishes them from other groups, is that
they sing about topics not typically discussed in their culture. They have tackled subjects such as
politics, equal rights, youth/education/societal standards, and of course - mental health. To
say that this is HUGE is an understatement, because they have done so in some of the
most raw and honest lyrics. Namjoon and Yoongi especially, they are two of the rappers in the
group and both have released solo mixtapes. They have each disclosed their own personal
mental health struggles. I included a lyrical video in my last post of one song that Namjoon did
titled "Always" in which he sings the following about his experience with depression:

One morning, I opened my eyes

And wished I was dead
I want someone to kill me
In this loud silence
I live to understand the world
But the world has never understood me, why
No, that half is missing
It’s trying to hurt me . . .
Wish I could choose me

As for Yoongi, he has been considered the "stone" of the group in that he doesn't show emotions
frequently and can appear "cold" or "heartless." This is not the case, as he has been one of the
most candid about his past as well as his mental health. He has an incredible song titled "The
Last" on his mixtape in which he sings the following about his experiences with depression and
anxiety:

At times I’m scared of myself too

Thanks to the depression that takes over me

So, you may be asking why I wrote this post today of all days. Well, there were some things I
observed on social media that concerned me - reports that "fans" of the group insulted either each
other or the members (there are conflicting reports) & that Yoongi had been called a "mental patient" with
comments being made about how he should leave the group during their meet&greet. I
absolutely despise, both as a mental health professional and as someone with mental health
issues, when terminology such as "mental patient" or "crazy person" or whatever else is used. I
frequently confront anyone I know who does it, and I call it out on social media. Mental health is
already demonized enough, so hurling it as an insult or with negative connotations only worsens
the stigma.

What people may not know is that BTS is one of the most dedicated groups to their fandom,
and the length each member will go to in order to demonstrate this is astounding. They have
allowed us in to their lives, shown us the ups&downs, and honored us with some of the most
incredible music. BTS also recently released a documentary showing behind-the-scenes footage
of their recent world tour, which included an eye-opening reveal of their struggles together as
well as individually. To do something such as that, and allow fans to be a part of it, is the purest
form of showing vulnerability. I am honestly proud to call myself an ARMY and to support
them in every/any way possible. They have even written songs to their fans about the mutual
love & respect shared:

2!3!

It’s okay, now count one two three and forget

Forget all the sad memories, hold my hand and laugh
It’s okay, now count one two three and forget
Forget all the sad memories, hold my hand and laugh

Let’s hope that there are better days

If you believe in what I say, one two three
If you believe, one two three
Let’s hope that there are many more better days
If you believe in what I say, one two three
If you believe, one two three

When I say one two three

I hope that everything changes
For a better day
We are together

Magic Shop

On days you hate being yourself

On days you want to disappear forever
Let’s make a door in your mind
When we go through that door
Then this place will wait for you
It’s okay to trust me
This is a Magic Shop that will console you

Drinking a warm cup of tea

Looking up at the galaxy
You’ll be okay, oh this is a Magic Shop

You gave me the best of me

So you'll give you the best of you
You found me, you recognized me
You will find the galaxy that’s inside of you
You gave me the best of me
So you'll give you the best of you

So, as one can probably imagine, I became very frustrated when I was reading all of the social
media reports of the aforementioned incident. I would be lying if I didn't tell you that my anger
was overwhelming. It broke my heart for several reasons - one of which, as I stated above, is that
this group L O V E S their ARMY. Not a day goes by when they do not recognize & express
that. Another reason I reacted to this (the main reason for this post) is because this group and
their music saved my life. My depression has been especially difficult recently, and I have
mentioned this in previous posts. The fact that these artists have been there as well, the fact that
they have shared their pain and suffering with us, that is where my connection to them is.

There is not a day that goes by, and no matter where I am or what I am doing, their music is in
my ears. BTS, both their songs and the members, they are what I (and my therapist) consider my
"center." I can listen to any album at any time, and everything feels as if it will be okay. I don't
just mean the songs I've listed here - I mean any song off of any album. There is always
a song for any mood/occasion/situation/etc. and that is one of the things I love about their music.
Since the songs they sing also cover a range of sociopolitical issues - it is like I am constantly
engaging the intellectual side of myself as well. But . . . I want to pull your attention back to
what the main focus of today is . . . their positive influence on awareness for mental health &
their impact on my own.

They reminded me that my mental health is nothing to be ashamed of and that it is okay to

LOVE MYSELF & ALL OF MYSELF.

The song, "Magic Shop," has especially been a huge comfort to me lately. I have experienced a
great deal more lows than highs and if you read my last post - some suicidal ideations. To have
a song provide as much solace as this one does, to have a group of artists who TRULY
understand and empathize, it is a feeling like nothing else in this world. I am not an idiot, I know
the chances of my ever meeting them are 1 in a 1,000,000 and they may never actually know
how much they have meant to me. However, I will forever be in their debt for how much they
have impacted my life - how much they saved me from myself. I am not a fan just because they
are attractive, or some other nonsense. I am a fan because these men touched my heart and
showed me theirs.

Whenever I have doubts about whether I can keep going, or if I can handle what is happening - I
play their music. Whenever I want to let the darkness swallow me whole, or to sink further in to
the hole that my depression feels like - I play their music. Whenever I want to disappear from the
world, or to end the constant and crushing pain - I play their music. Whenever it seems like no
one is listening, or that no one cares what is happening - I play their music. Whenever I can't stop
crying because my heart is empty, or because the loneliness is too much - I play their music.
Whenever nothing is going right, or the stress is almost too much to bear - I play their music.
Whenever I have contemplated self-harming, or considered taking my life - I played their
music.

So, the next time someone asks, "What makes this group so special?" or someone decides to
criticize/judge/bully/harass/etc. them and/or ARMY - I want this post to be what comes to mind.

I want people to read this & understand that they are more than a "boy band" or "K-Pop group."

I want the members to see how much they have done for us & the differences they have made.

I want those who wish ill upon them to see that their words & actions are just fuel for the fire.

BTS are the epitome of courage and strength and support and hope to so many individuals.

BTS are our driving force to not only do good but to be good - and we are theirs.

Nesbitt, D. ( 2018, May 27). How BTS saved my life. Retrieved from
http://www.mentalhealthmusings.com/2018/05/how-bts-saved-my-life.html
Summary