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Table of Contents
1. Summary
2. Chapter 1
3. Chapter 2
4. Chapter 3
5. Chapter 4
6. Chapter 5
7. Chapter 6
8. Chapter 7
9. Chapter 8
10. Chapter 9
11. Chapter 10
12. Chapter 11
13. Chapter 12
14. Chapter 13
15. Chapter 14
16. Chapter 15
17. Chapter 16
18. Chapter 17
19. Chapter 18
20. Chapter 19
21. Chapter 20
22. Chapter 21
23. Chapter 22
24. Chapter 23
25. Chapter 24
26. Chapter 25
27. Chapter 26
28. Chapter 27
29. Chapter 28
30. Chapter 29
31. Chapter 30
32. Chapter 31
33. Chapter 32
34. Chapter 33
35. Chapter 34
36. Chapter 35
37. Chapter 36
38. Chapter 37
39. Chapter 38
40. Chapter 39
41. Chapter 40
42. Chapter 41
43. Chapter 42
Summary
21yr old Bella Swan has never been kissed. When her bff and room mate Jasper moves out, player Edward Cullen moves in. How far will he go
when Bella asks him to teach her about dating and sex? OOC AH M for Lemons
Chapter 1
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
**** updated a/n FEB 2011****
I know this story has been completed since July 2010 but don't let that put you off reviewing. It gets over a thousand hits a day still,
and I'd love to hear from more of you.
I still love the tiny amount of reviews that trickle in and it's great to hear what people think. So if you have anything to say about
any of this, please do. I'm still here and I'm still reading. :D
I had tremendous fun writing this story. It is unbeta'd so I'm aware of the issues in that department. If I get time, I might beta it one
chapter at a time and replace them as I go. We'll see.
x

I sat on the sofa watching Jasper over the top of the book I had been reading for the last hour, he was making a good show of being engrossed
in the baseball game on TV but I watched as his eyes stayed still not tracking the action on the screen. My legs were stretched across his lap and
every now and again he would absentmindedly rub my shin or massage one of my feet.
This had been our Sunday night routine ever since we'd moved to Seattle from our childhood home of Forks to attend college. I'd bring home
take out from the Deli where I worked on the weekends and we'd sprawl on the sofa for the evening, Jasper liked to watch the game and I liked to
read.
I gave up trying to read, I'd been watching him for over half an hour and I'd marvelled at that contented smile that would creep across his face
every time his eyes glazed over and then it would disappear again as his attention momentarily returned to the game.
'What's it like being in love Jazz?' I asked slipping my bookmark into the right page and laying the book on my lap.
'What?' His eyes never left the screen and he might have fooled anyone else that he was too engrossed in the game to have heard the question
properly but I knew him better than that.
I dug my heel into his thigh and nudged him 'You heard.'
He turned and gave me that look I loved, his lovely blue eyes slightly darkened by annoyance and his lips set in a thin line of exasperation 'It's
great, now can I watch the game?'
I sat up straight and tucked my legs in beneath me resting my elbows on my knees 'You're not even watching the game, your mind keeps drifting
to her, I can tell by that cute little smile that keeps creeping across your face. Come on Jazz, tell me what it's like.'
I had known him for eight years and still couldn't label what we had, he was more than a brother to me, more than a best friend and though those
definitions were sadly lacking in terms of defining our relationship they were the closest things I could think of. Jasper had lived in Forks all his life, I
had lived there with my parents till I was two and then after the divorce my mother took me to live in Phoenix where I spent the most miserable
eleven years of my life until my dad finally rescued me and brought me back to Forks.
After the divorce my mother had a breakdown but since we'd moved to a different state where no one knew us, her behaviour was accepted
because people had nothing previous to compare it to. She hid it well for the most part, I was home schooled, she shopped at night, in fact church
was the only place she ever went during the day and of course I would be dragged along too.
When I was thirteen we went to live on a commune, I hated it, everyone in that place was exactly like my mother; unhinged. It took me six months
of pretending to go along with everything, no mean feat for a young girl, before they finally trusted me and I was allowed to go on one of the few
necessary outings to get supplies. It was my one chance at freedom and thankfully I took it.
Charlie brought me back to Forks and for all I know my mother still lives on that commune, we never heard from her after that, she sent me one
letter that was so full of poison, according to Charlie, he would never let me read it. I have never wanted to.
When I first arrived back in Forks I felt like I had been transported to Mars, my mother had kept me away from televisions, books, newspapers
and even music. I was so naive I was like a newborn child all over again. Charlie enrolled me into school in Forks and I still have nightmares to this
day of them frog marching me across the parking lot in front of the other kids while I cried for my father.
It was open season on me after that and I was bullied relentlessly until Jasper stepped in. He lived next door to me and though our friendship was
born of his pity towards me it soon grew into a genuine and wonderful friendship that grew stronger every year.
He shifted on the sofa beside me and I was propelled back into the present. 'I just want to know what it's like.' I pleaded.
He groaned but his eyes were light and playful 'This isn't going to turn into one of your bizarre 'show me what it's like' requests is it? I'm only just
getting over your antics at my Aunt Louise's wedding.'
'That wasn't my fault, it was that glass of champagne you pilfered for me that caused it.' I said blushing furiously at the memory.
 We were seventeen and Jasper had managed to acquire two glasses of champagne which we gulped down in the hallway outside the kitchens.
Later I had sat in awe watching the bride and groom share a kiss during their first dance and in my inebriated state had begged Jasper to give me
my first kiss since he'd already had his. He'd refused of course and then I'd thrown up all over his suit. He'd teased me about it ever since.
He nudged my arm with his fist 'Stop blushing Swan, it was five years ago.' He chuckled.
'And I still haven't had my first kiss.' I groused sticking my tongue out at him for good measure 'I'm not asking you to kiss me, Jazz, I just want to
know what it's like to be in love, to share that connection with someone. You're so lucky to have Alice she's amazing.'
'She is.' He agreed misty eyed.
'I wish I had her confidence.' I mused.
Alice was exactly the type of person I would love to be, funny, confident, smart and most of all comfortable in her own skin. She didn't seem to
have any insecurities at all which was a good thing because all of Jasper's previous girlfriends had found it too difficult to handle the fact that his
best friend was female. Alice was so sure of herself and Jasper that it really didn't bother her at all.
'You're not the only person out there who's a little shy Bella.' He said softly.
That was the understatement of the year, I was painfully shy and found it very difficult to trust anyone.
'I don't think I'll ever find someone.' I sighed throwing myself back on the arm rest dramatically.
'Bella,' he smiled pulling my right foot into his lap and massaging it 'you will.'
'Sure, where am I going to find a guy who can put up with my particular brand of crazy.'
'Don't say that, you're not crazy.'
'Yeah, tell that to Mike Newton.' I said remembering my one disastrous attempt at a date.
We were sixteen, Jasper was desperate to go on a date with Jessica Stanley and she would only agree if it was a double date so naturally I got
roped in and Jasper talked Mike Newton into being my date. What a fiasco that turned out to be, I spent the evening alternating between being
offended by him and embarrassed that I just didn't get his jokes and then at the end of the night when he tried to kiss me I completely freaked out
and slapped him.
'I just don't get boys Jasper, I never have, you're the only one I've ever been able to even speak to without spazzing out.'
'You've come a long way since then,' He squeezed my ankle 'there's someone out there for you, I promise.'
I couldn't see it, I wanted to believe it but I was just too uptight, I always had been, Jasper was the only person I had ever really let in, it took a long
time for me to trust him and thanks to him I had come so far but I doubted I could go any further. For a little while I had wished that we could fall in
love, romantic love but it just wasn't like that between us.
His hands stilled on my foot and he swallowed, there was a sudden change in the atmosphere and I knew he wanted to say something and
judging by the solemn look on his face I wasn't going to like it.
'I..um.. have something I need to tell you,' He didn't look at me 'Alice and I were going to tell you together tomorrow, but since we're..sort of on the
subject already..' he hesitated and stole a sideways glance at me 'Alice and I are going to move in together.'
His words sank in and I waited for the shock or disappointment or even grief to hit me but it didn't, it was like somehow I had already known, like
somewhere under the surface I had been expecting it. I scooted closer to him and cupped his jaw in my hand pulling his head round to face me 'I'm
really happy for you.' I smiled.
His brow dropped in confusion 'You're not upset?'
'I can see how happy she makes you and you practically live over at her place as it is, so no I'm not upset at all.'
'I won't leave until we find you a new roommate.'
That erased the smile from my face, I hadn't thought of that. 'Oh no I don't want to live with a stranger, it'll be horrible. I'll end up with some girl who
has tons of friends and wants to throw wild parties every weekend.'
He swivelled my legs of his lap and pulled me to him 'Maybe it's what you need, Bella, you need to stand on your own two feet some time.'
I sighed 'I know but I like living with you. I'll miss you.'
'I'll be living less than a block away and you'll see me every day in college.'
I forced down my apprehension and smiled, he deserved to be happy and I didn't want to be the blot on his landscape.
The following morning I overslept and I could hear Alice's voice when I woke up, I quickly got dressed and opened the door to go and greet them.
 'No way Alice, it's not a good idea at all, you know how sensitive she is, he's just all wrong.'
I stopped in the doorway listening to them, they were obviously talking about a potential roommate for me and I was glad that Jasper was putting
her straight, I didn't want to live with a man.
'Look, I know how Edward might seem to you, Jasper, but he wants to get away from all that, that's why I suggested this place to him...'
'You already pitched this to him?' Jasper interjected and I could hear the tension in his voice, I hoped they wouldn't fight.
'You said you wanted to move in as soon as possible, Edward is looking for a place to live where he can study without all the distractions he has
to endure at Emmett's place, I thought it was the perfect solution.'
'Yeah, well it's not perfect for Bella.'
Alice groaned 'I sort of already told him he could come over and see the place today, that's why I came over early to give Bella plenty notice.'
I stepped out of the room and the two of them turned to look at me. 'Who are you talking about?' I asked.
Alice opened her mouth to speak but Jasper managed to get in first.
'Alice's cousin is looking for a room to rent and she suggested mine.' His words were rushed 'I told her it's not a good idea.'
I looked at Alice's frown knowing that she couldn't begin to understand just how big a deal this was for me. She stepped forward and the frown
lifted into a determined smile.
'Maybe Bella and I should have a little chat,' She said taking my arm gently and leading me back into my bedroom, she perched on the bed and I
reluctantly sat down beside her. 'I don't mean to seem pushy Bella, but Edward really needs a place, you really need a roommate and it just seemed
like the perfect solution to me.'
'I don't think I could live with a boy.' I said quietly.
'You already do.' Alice chuckled, but seeing my discomfort she patted my hand 'Look, Bella, I know you have issues that I can't even begin to
understand but you are a wonderful girl with a great personality, maybe it's time for you to find who you really are.'
'I know who I am, I'm the girl with one friend who can barely speak to anyone else.' I said sarcastically.
'Don't put yourself down, Bella,' Alice sighed 'you just need to get out of your comfort zone a bit, start meeting new people. Jasper will still be your
best friend but maybe it's time to make some more.'
I looked at her then, taking in every aspect of her appearance; her glossy purple nails which matched her lipstick perfectly, her black spiky hair,
her elegant clothes and most of all her assured demeanour. She was the exact opposite of me with my long brown dowdy hair, faded jeans and
worn baseball boots. It wasn't really the physical differences that made me feel lacking but the differences in who we are.
I would love to be confident like Alice and since watching them fall in love I wanted nothing more than to find my own soulmate. Maybe she was
right maybe I did need to get out of my comfort zone and shake off the inhibitions my mother had saddled me with.
I smiled weakly at her 'What's your cousin like?'
'Edward is great,' she smiled back 'this is the final year of his medical degree, so he's looking for somewhere quiet to live, away from his friends,
so he can really concentrate on his work.'
I liked the sound of that but I remembered Jasper's concerns earlier 'But he has a reputation?'
She sighed 'Yes, but mostly from people who don't know him, Edward runs deeper than most people realise and he really is very kind and sweet
underneath.' She took my hands in hers 'Give it a chance Bella, it'll do you good and he'll be studying most of the time anyway, I wouldn't be
suggesting this if I thought he was going to be dragging his buddies over for wild parties would I?'
'I guess not,' I conceded and then thinking of the need to get out of my comfort zone I forced a smile 'Okay, he can come and see the room but if I
don't like him...'
'Of course,' she nodded 'I'm just glad you're giving this a chance.'
We emerged from my room to find Jasper making coffee in the kitchen.
'You better tidy your room.' Alice said to him with a triumphant grin.
His eyebrows rose in surprise and his eyes met mine 'Are you sure?'
I nodded biting my lip 'Yeah, I'm 21 years old, maybe it's time to cut the apron strings.'
My weak attempt at humour did nothing to alleviate the tension on his face, it was clear he didn't think this was a good idea, but Alice was right, I
needed to stand alone. His eyes flicked to Alice.
'What time is he coming?'
 'I said to come about five.' she pulled him out of our tiny galley kitchen 'I'll help you clean up.'
It was like the first day of school all over again, I felt like a freak sitting on the sofa waiting to meet Edward while Alice and Jasper pottered about
cleaning up his room. Finally there was a rhythmic rapping on the door and my breathe hitched when Alice darted out of Jasper's room to answer it.
'Edward!' She almost sang his name as she flung the door open. 'Did you have any problems finding your way here?'
I stood up and nervously raked my fingers through my hair feeling quite ridiculous since it was the apartment he was coming to appraise not me.
Alice took a couple of steps back and then he stepped into the room.
'No, your directions were good.' His voice was velvet soft and slightly husky.
Alice closed the door behind him and he turned to face me, God he was gorgeous! His bronze hair was sticking up in all directions and when he
raked his long slim fingers through it I could see why. He had a strong defined jaw line a straight proud nose and piercing green eyes fringed with
the longest eyelashes I'd ever seen on a man. Infact I'd never noticed a man's eyelashes in my life.
Alice brought him closer and his lips stretched into a crooked smile as he finally looked at me, I blushed to the roots of my hair and swallowed
hard. His lips looked so soft and full and just begged to be kissed. I shook that particular image out of my head and tried to regain my equilibrium
as Alice introduced us.
'Edward Cullen this is Bella Swan,' she trilled 'Bella this is Edward.'
'It's good to meet you.' He said holding his hand out.
All I could manage was a strange strangled grunt as I shook his hand briefly and then dropped it like it had burnt me. His eyebrow quirked briefly
but thankfully he let my strange behaviour pass without comment.
'Hey man, good to see you.' Jasper said coming out of his room and standing in the doorway 'You wanna come see the room, Alice made me
clean it up especially.'
'Sure.' Edward said finally releasing me from his unnerving gaze and followed Jasper into the room.
'I was thinking,' Alice said and I turned towards her 'maybe we should ask him to stay for dinner, that way you can get to know him a little and see
if you like him.'
'Like him?' I gasped blushing again.
'Not that way!' Alice giggled 'I mean like him enough to let him have the room.'
'Oh!' I said cringing 'I'll check what we have in and I'll get started on dinner.'
'No, don't go to all that trouble,' she said heading to the letter rack where we kept all our take out menus 'we'll order take out, my treat.'
Edward came back out of Jasper's room and his eyes immediately fell on mine again and it seemed I was cursed to blush my way through every
moment of this visit.
'Edward?' Alice said and as his eyes flicked to her I realised she had been speaking, she shot a curious glance first at me then back to Edward
'I asked if you wanted to stay for dinner, we're ordering take out.'
'Sure.' He said shrugging out of his jacket and my eyes immediately roamed over the lean muscles evident through the snug thin material of his
shirt.
Alice threw the menus down on the coffee table and Jasper sat beside her draping his arm across her shoulder as they flicked through them. I
stood where I was feigning interest in them when really I was racking my brains trying to figure out what it was about Edward Cullen that had me so
painfully aware of him.
'What do you fancy Edward?' Jasper asked without looking up from the menus.
Edward turned and looked at me 'Italian.' He smiled.

a/n Thanks for reading. x

Chapter 2
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
It was an awkward evening, I felt strangely unnerved by Edward who seemed intent on making me as uncomfortable as possible. Though,
admittedly it didn't seem like it was intentional, I guess he was flirting but I had no idea why, perhaps it came naturally to him.
I had to admit to myself that the prospect of living with him didn't really appeal to me but when I went to the bathroom I overheard Jasper and
Alice excitedly discussing their plans for him to move in by the following weekend and I really didn't have the heart to dash their hopes. Jasper
wouldn't leave here until I had a roommate so my only choice was to say yes to Edward moving in and then give it a week or so before asking him
to leave, by which time Jasper and Alice would be safely ensconced in their love nest.
I spent the week helping Jasper pack up his stuff, which was a truly bittersweet experience since he'd brought so many things that reminded us of
home and brought back so many wonderful memories. It felt like the end of an era, not exactly like I was losing him, but like I was losing my status as
his best friend. We spent an evening curled up on the sofa going through the photos of our childhood reminiscing about such events as our first
night in the treehouse that we had helped Jasper's dad build, camping trips with Charlie and those awkward prom photos that we cringed over for
weeks.
By Friday night I was a blubbering mass of emotions and of no use to anyone. Alice and Jasper made several trips carrying boxes and bags
while I stood around in the apartment getting in the way and feeling more miserable than I had felt in ten years.
Alice came up behind me and I started when she spoke 'Edward will be moving in in the morning, do you want Jasper and I to come over?'
I turned to face her, she might be tiny but what she lacked in size she made up for in the sheer exuberance of her personality and it helped me
come down from abject misery to simple utter despair. She was like a little pixie, with her elfin features and short dark spiky hair, even though her
concern for me was evident I could still see the glitter of excitement in her big brown eyes. She was perfect for Jasper and I'd known that the first
time I met her, she was so positive and attacked life like nothing was impossible to her, I envied her in so many ways but it just wasn't possible not
to like her.
'Thanks but I'll be okay,' I smiled weakly 'I know you guys want to enjoy your new home.'
Home, I had just gotten used to calling this place home but now that Jasper wouldn't be here I knew it wouldn't feel like that anymore as soon as
he closed the door behind him.
Alice shot me a look filled with dubiety.
'Honestly, Alice I'll be fine.' I hoped my smile held more conviction and fought the urge to look away as she studied my expression.
'Well if you change your mind, call us and we'll come right over.'
I nodded and stood up as Jasper came into the room 'Okay,' I sighed heavily 'You guys better go, I've got a TON of stuff to do and you're kind of
getting in the way.'
The joke was lame but it brought a smile to Jasper's face as he stalked across the room and scooped me into his arms 'I'm gonna miss our late
night chats,' He breathed into my hair 'and your cookies, boy am I gonna miss having those cookies on tap.'
I kissed his cheek 'I'll make you a batch every week I promise, now scoot!'
They walked slowly to the door and paused looking back at me, again I felt a stab of envy as I looked back at them, they looked so happy and in
love and having never had a boyfriend I couldn't even begin to imagine how good that must feel.
'Go!' I said shooing them out the door and after they'd gone I closed it and leaned against it surveying my empty apartment.
Mere minutes had passed when the door swung open again, almost knocking me to the floor.
'God I'm sorry!' He said yanking me into his arms.
I melted into his embrace and breathed in his familiar scent 'I love you so much.' I sobbed 'You've been everything to me.'
'I love you too,' He whispered pressing his lips to my head 'it doesn't stop here, any time you need me I'll be right here!'
I hugged him so tight that my own ribs hurt 'Jazz, I know that, but it's time, Alice is waiting for you and my alter ego is waiting for me!'
He pulled back and looked at me, one eyebrow quirked 'What?'
I smiled through my tears 'I don't want to live in fear anymore, Jazz, I need to put myself out there and take risks, so as soon as you close that
door I'm opening mine! To a new me.' I pulled his hand to mine and kissed it 'I want what you've got Jasper, you know how happy I am for you,
happy that you've found this wonderful woman who completes you, I want that! And the only way I'm going to get it is by changing.'
His eyes brimmed with tears as he cupped my face in his hands 'Don't change too much, you are so much more than you give yourself credit for.'
Finally he left and I found the strength to move away from the door.
 I took a long bubble bath and when I was padding across the hall to my room wearing only a towel when there was a loud knock on the door. I
briefly wondered if Jasper had decided one more check was called for but then I reminded myself, he would still have his key so would have no
reason to knock.
'Who is it?' I called out nervously.
'Erm, It's Edward!'
'Oh, I thought you weren't coming till tomorrow.' I was standing behind the door now peering through the peep hole.
'Yeah, sorry, I erm... my roommates, well ex roommates are having this really wild party and I really have some stuff I need to get done so I didn't
think.. well I hoped you wouldn't mind if I moved in tonight.'
I couldn't refuse him, he'd paid his share of this month's rent in advance already, I stood watching him through the peep hole while I tried in vain to
think of a get out clause. I didn't have one.
'Bella?'
'Okay, give me a minute and I'll let you in.'
He fished in his pocket and then his hand came up to the door and I was horrified to hear the unmistakable sound of a key sliding into the lock.
'It's okay, Jasper gave me a ke...'
His eyes bugged as I jumped back in fright clutching the towel around me, my hair dripped on the floor and I was immensely grateful that I had
wrapped the only towel that had been in the bathroom around my body and not my hair.
'Oops!' He grinned 'You should have told me I would have waited till you got dressed,' his eyes travelled up my naked legs past my towel covered
torso and stopped on my face 'though I'm not complaining.'
I tutted in disgust and threw my arm in the direction of his room 'That's your room there, I'm sure you'll remember.' I said heading into my own.
'Thank you.' He called after me in an annoyingly cheerful sing song voice.
In the sanctity of my room, I leaned against my door and cringed. Great start Bella, way to make a good impression on his first night.
I dressed quickly in a pair of comfortable sweats and a white t-shirt and raked a brush through my hair before bracing myself to face my
unwanted house guest. I tentatively poked my head out of my room and listened for a second, finally my ears zeroed in on a shuffling noise coming
from the living room. I fought the urge to back up into my room and slam the door and followed the noise.
He was sprawled on the couch, his long legs stretched out in front of him and his hands clasped behind his head, I hated how at home he looked
already and clamped my teeth together as I stalked passed him to the galley kitchen which was really just an extension of the living room separated
by a small breakfast bar.
'Coffee?' I asked for want of a better opener.
He stood up and walked towards me holding up a six pack of beer 'I brought these,' he smiled 'to celebrate our first night together.'
I grimaced at his deliberately suggestive choice of expression but chose to ignore it. 'I don't drink.' I said smugly.
'Ever?' He cocked a questioning eyebrow at me and I shook my head, that stolen glass of champagne didn't count in my eyes 'Do you mind if I
put these in the fridge.'
I stepped closer to the counter as he brushed past me towards the refrigerator and immediately took a reflexive sharp intake of breath as the
sweet scent of his cologne surrounded me. He pulled one bottle free and twisted the cap off, I looked up at him and watched his Adam's apple bob
invitingly as he took a long pull from it, I swallowed hard and looked away feeling the heat rise in my cheeks.

What is wrong with me?

He sighed appreciatively as he drew the bottle away from his lips and leaned his elbow on the top of the refrigerator, apparently at ease invading
my personal space. 'So you wanna give me a tour of the place?'
'Didn't Jasper already do that?'
'Yeah but I didn't get to see your room.'
'Okay, that's it,' I said backing away from him 'this isn't going to work, I'm not sharing my apartment with.. with.. a .. a'
He raised his eyebrows but his green eyes sparkled with mirth 'a what?'
I stepped back into the living room and raked my fingers through my hair before folding my arms across my stomach 'Look Edward, I'm just not
comfortable with that sort of thing.'
 'What sort of thing?' He had followed me into the room but this time he was keeping a more acceptable distance.
I looked up at him 'All that innuendo.'
'Innuendo?' He laughed but then apparently noticing my increasing discomfort he sobered and fixed me with a serious stare 'Okay, I'm sorry,
Jasper did warn me that you were a bit...conservative, I guess I didn't realise just how conservative you really are.'
'Why does that sound like an insult?' I asked bitterly.
'It's not, believe me. I guess I just have a warped sense of humour,' he held his hands up like I was pointing a gun at him 'forgive me?'
I sighed 'No more teasing?'
'No more teasing.' He agreed and took another slug of his beer 'You sure you don't want a beer?'
'I told you I don't drink.'
He looked around the room 'Well this ain't no bar, I won't tell anyone.'
I bit back a bitter retort, suddenly weary and needing to retreat to my own space 'No thanks, look I'm really quite tired and I have to get up for
work in the morning, so if you don't mind I'll leave you to it.'
'Sure.' He said and I turned to go to my room 'Bella?' I turned back to face him when I reached my door 'Thanks for letting me rent the room, you
won't regret it, I promise.'
I lay in my bed that night seriously doubting those words.
a/n Thanks for reading. Bad reviews don't exist because we need them to see where we're going wrong. There's a link below if you
would care to press it and let me know what you think.
Chapter 3
The insistent screeching of my alarm woke me early the next morning and mindful that I had a new, albeit unwanted, roommate I slammed my fist
down silencing it as quickly as I could. My mind wandered back to the previous evening and I allowed myself an objective look at Edward's
behaviour, and mine for that matter.
In the cold light of day I could see that he hadn't been flirting with me but I still didn't like his general demeanour. In the same vein though I at least
had the awareness, thanks to Jasper's many musings over the years, to know that my reaction to it was not typical. I really needed to lighten up but
without Jasper to guide me I wasn't sure I could.
Reluctantly I rolled out of bed and scooped up the clothes I had set out last night and padded across the hall to the bathroom, a quick invigorating
shower later, I was in the kitchen scraping the burnt bits off my toast while I listened to the percolator bubble.
'Hey.'
My head snapped up, I hadn't expected him to get up so early, he stood before me wearing a ratty grey t-shirt that was entirely too short for him
and dark blue sweat pants, he raised his arms above his head and stretched and my eyes immediately followed the trail of dark hair that snaked
from his navel down into said pants. My cheeks burst into flames and when I tore my eyes away from that particular sight it was a definite case of
out of the frying pan and into the fire as my gaze met his.
'You're blushing.' He smiled softly teasing.
'I'm not!' I denied 'It's the heat from the grill.'
He chuckled and swept past me heading straight for the coffee 'Right! Thank God I lost my morning boner or that grill would set you on fire.'
That was not an image I cared to dwell on and quite frankly I was angry that he seemed to have reverted to type despite his promise last night. I
grabbed my last slice of toast, dumped the plate in the sink and left without a word promising myself that the first thing I would do when I got home
from work would be to call Jasper and tell him the search for a new roommate was on.
I arrived home just after eight still filled with the resolve to call Jasper but as I hung my jacket up the most delicious smell filled my nostrils and
elevated my hungry state to ravenous. I half expected to find Alice in the kitchen but there slaving over the stove was Edward.
He looked as tired as I felt, his hair was limp in the humid air and his eyes were red rimmed and bloodshot but he still afforded me the most
dazzling smile I'd seen all day.
'I thought since it's our first official night as roomies I'd cook us something.' He said as I slowly walked towards him.
'You cook?' I said leaning over the counter from my safe vantage point in the living room and peering into the contents of the pot he was stirring.
'When I have to.' He grinned. 'Would you mind getting some plates?'
'What are you making?' I asked as I pulled plates from the cupboard and rummaged the drawer for cutlery.
'Spaghetti Bolognese.'
My heart dropped in my chest, obviously Jasper hadn't told him I'm a vegetarian and since he'd gone to so much trouble I didn't want to break it
to him either. I hesitated for a beat and it must have alerted him to my predicament because for the second time in as many days he surprised me
again.
'Don't worry I made it with Quorn, I didn't use real meat.'
'I guess Jasper filled you in then.'
I relaxed and continued with the task at hand all the while thinking how strange it was that I was setting our tiny table for someone other than
Jasper. Edward moved efficiently around the cramped space that passed for a kitchen and I hovered around the table, moving the knives a
millimetre to the right and the plate imperceptibly to the centre and generally tried to look like I was engrossed in anything other than what he was
doing.
Eventually he brought two steaming bowls to the table, one filled with pasta the other with Bolognese sauce he set them down and dashed back
to the kitchen, returning with a sliced garlic bread. It smelled heavenly and I piled my plate high.
'You really didn't have to do this,' I smiled relaxing for the first time that day 'but I'm glad you did.'
He produced a bottle of red wine and set to glasses on the table. I frowned at the glasses.
'I know you said you don't drink but I figured since you've never drunk socially you're not really making an informed decision there.' He sat down
and uncorked the wine before holding the bottle over my glass 'there's really nothing wrong with enjoying a glass of wine with your meal.'
I thought about covering the glass with my hand, I mean why was he so intent on plying me with alcohol but then common sense prevailed and I
realised that this man before me did not need to ply women with alcohol and the calibre of women he could surely attract, well there was really no
contest, he had probably spent the day trying to figure out why I hadn't knocked on his door last night and begged him to deflower me!
 'Look, 'he said moving the bottle to his own glass and pouring 'I'm the last person to coerce anyone into drinking, believe me, but I just figured
you might enjoy the odd glass of wine with a meal, sometimes it really does enhance it.'
'Okay, but just a tiny drop.'
He filled my glass a quarter way and then quirked his eyebrow at me, I held my hand up to indicate that that was sufficient and he set the bottle
down. I lifted the glass to my lips and took a careful sip, the wine was velvety on my tongue and the only way I could describe the taste was by
shape, it tasted round and slid warmly down my throat, surprisingly it was not an unpleasant experience at all.
'You like it?' He asked twirling pasta around his fork.
'It's quite nice.' I conceded and he chuckled as he shovelled a huge forkful of pasta into his mouth.
The meal was really delicious but we ate in semi awkward silence, the atmosphere wasn't exactly tense but I was struggling to think of anything to
say to him and got the distinct impression he felt the same way. I mopped my plate with the last of the garlic bread and drained my glass then
smiled at him.
'Thank you Edward that was lovely.'
'No problem,' he refilled my glass 'you're on the washing up.'
His eyes sparkled mischievously and I took another sip of wine feeling its warmth curl through my belly. He rubbed his eyes and again I noticed
how weary he looked.
'You look really tired.' I commented.
'I was up late working on a paper that's due in on Monday and I spent most of today on it as well.'
'Did you get it finished?'
'Almost, but it's Saturday night, I'll get it done tomorrow.'
I stood up and stacked our plates and cutlery and carried them into the kitchen 'You going out?'
I came back to the table lifted my wine glass and took it into the kitchen with me, I was feeling a little giddy and emptied the glass into the sink. I
stood watching the hot water fill the sink and smiled at the bubbles dancing on the surface.
'I'm meeting Emmet for a couple of beers later.'
I had been so engrossed in the contents of the sink I hadn't heard him come up behind me and jumped at the sound of his voice. A low chuckle
rumbled in his throat and I felt a strange zing of awareness prickle across the back of my neck.
'What about you do you have plans?'
I immersed the dishes in the water and began washing them 'Oh I have a hot date tonight.' I smiled.
'Really?'
His shocked tone amused me and I giggled 'With a bubble bath and a good book.' I clarified.
He leaned back against the counter and folded his arms across his chest, regarding me as if trying to work something out in his head. 'No
boyfriend?' He asked and all traces of humour left me.
'No.' I said swallowing and turning my attention back to the dishes.
'Touchy subject?'
Maybe it was the wine but normally I would have cut him dead and ended the conversation there but for some reason I felt compelled to answer
his question. 'Not really, I just... I' I sighed 'I don't date.'
He pushed himself away from the counter and turned fully to face me leaning his hip on it instead, 'You've never had a boyfriend?' I shook my
head and then blushed when he said 'Wow.'
'Don't make it sound like a big deal, Edward.' I said snatching the towel from counter and wiping the plates so furiously I wouldn't be surprised to
find the pattern on the towel rather than the plate. 'I don't really have time to date.'
'Yet, you have time for a lingering bath and a book on a Saturday night?'
'That's something I enjoy doing.' I snarked.
'You might enjoy dating,' he smiled 'if you try it.'
I finished stacking the dishes and drained the sink under his watchful gaze and then headed back into the living room to wipe down the table, I
was not surprised that he followed me. 'Look, I don't date, let's just leave it at that.'
 'I'm not ragging you Bella, I'm just curious, I've never met anyone like you.'
'No, I don't suppose you have,' I said sourly 'I don't suppose the bars of Seattle are awash with girls who like to read in the bath on a Saturday
night.'
He chuckled 'You really don't have a very high opinion of me do you?'
'Let's just say your reputation precedes you.'
He stepped towards me and I looked up into his eyes and gulped at the intensity held within them, 'You really shouldn't believe everything you
hear.' He warned tracing his finger down the length of my bare arm.
I flinched away from him and his eyes darkened slightly before he turned and stalked to his room. I was still standing in the same spot when he
emerged wearing a dark leather jacket, he stopped in the hallway and looked at me for a long agonizing moment.
'Enjoy your bath.' He said finally and left.
I let out a long shaky breath that I hadn't realised I'd been holding and then spotting the wine bottle on the table took it and dumped its contents
down the kitchen drain. I watched the dark purplish liquid drain away while my mood darkened, could I do this, could I really change who I was?
Maybe I should just accept that I'm destined to be painfully awkward and alone for the rest of my life.
Feeling utterly miserable I phoned Jasper.
'Hi Bella.'
He sounded far too cheerful when he answered the phone and it made me even more miserable that I was stuck here without him.
'I need to find a new roommate.' I blurted out without preamble.
'What's happened?' He sounded concerned.
'I just don't like him Jazz, he's too...cocky.'
'What did he do?' His tone had softened but I could still hear the protective edge in it.
'Nothing, really,' I said weakly 'he just rubs me up the wrong way, I don't feel comfortable having him around.'
He sighed heavily 'Okay, first thing on Monday I'll speak to him and we'll put an ad out on campus, how's that?'
'Thanks Jazz.'
We talked for a while about how he was settling in with Alice and I felt bad that I had been so miserable about it at the start of our conversation, it
was clear Jasper was head over heels in love with her and the happiest he had ever been. How could I not be happy for him?
Jasper had had a few girlfriends at high school but most of them had been put off by his friendship with me, I had never felt guilty about that
because he had always maintained that it was their loss. I tended to agree with him Jasper was a terrific guy, kind, loving and considerate and he
deserved someone like Alice who was confident enough in her own self worth to recognise that I was no threat to her whatsoever.
I made a strong pot of coffee, the effect of the alcohol was wearing off and my head was beginning to thump. Taking a steaming mug to the sofa I
curled up with my book deciding to forego the bath, I was working my way through Jane Austen's books again, they were truly wonderful and made
me wish that I had been born over a hundred years ago into a world like that which seemed more appealing to me than the one I lived in now.
A loud bang startled me awake and I lay in the dark for a moment while my brain scrambled to make the transition from dream to reality and all I
could hear was the hammering of my own heart.
'Shit!'
Edward's curse was only just audible over another loud thud and then the apartment door slammed shut. My fingers scrambled along my
nightstand searching in the darkness for my lamp, finally reaching it I flicked the switch and winced against the brightness. I hurried out of bed and
wrapped my dressing gown around me and went to see what the commotion was.
He was slumped on the floor groaning and my first instinct was that he was drunk but then I noticed the overturned coat stand and realised he'd
more likely had an accident.
I rushed to his side 'Are you okay Edward?'
He rolled onto his back and looked up at me 'I couldn't find the light switch then I tripped over that fucking thing,' he jerked his thumb at the coat
stand while I winced at his language 'and I hit my head on the door when I fell.'
An angry red welt was already forming on his forehead.
'Do you feel dizzy?' I asked touching a finger to the mark.
 He grabbed my hand and pulled it away 'I'm the one studying medicine remember?' He grimaced holding a hand out in front of his face 'No
double vision, no dizziness, no nausea. I'll be fine.'
'You're lying on the floor,' I pointed out 'all those things might come when you attempt to get up.'
I lifted the coat stand and put it back in the corner by the door and rearranged our jackets while Edward stayed on the floor watching me.
Satisfied that it was back in order I turned round and offered him my hand.
'Do you need a hand to get up?'
He shook his head then winced. 'I'll manage.'
I watched as he gingerly pulled himself up to a sitting position and then looked around blinking his eyes before finally getting to his feet. 'I'm fine,
but you might want to find somewhere else for that stand, it's a safety hazard sitting there.' He looked at me and for the first time noticed my attire
'Did I wake you?'
I glanced at my watch it was just after midnight 'its okay, I haven't been in bed long.' I hovered in the doorway.
'Listen, about earlier,' he began and I waited expectantly as he seemed to be sorting something out in his mind before he spoke again 'I didn't
mean to freak you out, Jasper warned me about you and I guess I just didn't really appreciate that you're so.. so...'
'What?' I was suddenly angry that he and Jasper had been discussing me like I was a newly discovered species and his attitude brought back all
my bitter memories of how I was received when I first attended school in Forks. 'Naive? Freaky? Weird?'
He sighed heavily and sagged against the wall 'Bella, I really can't work you out at all, I'm trying to apologise here and you're not exactly making it
easy.'
'Well let me make it easy for you, I don't like you and I don't want you living here, so I'm giving you a month's notice, I've already called Jasper and
we're placing an ad on Monday!' I turned on my heel and stormed into my room slamming the door behind me.
I sat down on the bed and immediately burst into tears. Tears of anger and frustration, anger at myself for over reacting and frustration for still
holding on to inhibitions that I should have shed years ago. A soft knock on the door stopped me mid sob 'Go away!' I sighed.
'Bella, I know you're decent so I'm going to come in if you don't come out.'
His voice was gentle, not threatening at all and I bit my lip, I had been completely out of line giving him his months notice like that when the
problem lay with me.
'Bella?'
I got up to open the door at the same time he stepped into the room, it felt so strange having him in my room and I was just about to suggest we
should take this to the living room when he spotted the piano.
'You have a piano in here?' His eyes slid to me 'May I?' He was barely standing inside the doorway and I was touched that he was asking
permission to move closer to the piano. I nodded. 'How on earth did you get a piano up here?'
'It was actually in the living room when Jasper and I moved in,' I said quietly still a little self conscious about him being in my room 'Jasper had it
fixed up and retuned for my birthday. We moved it in here because there really isn't enough room for it in the living room.'
He looked around my room assessing the space 'It sort of takes up a lot of room in here.' He observed.
'I know but I'd rather have the piano to play than more space. Do you play?' I asked.
'No,' he shook his head and I was confused by the undercurrent of sadness in his voice 'Maybe you'll play for me before my month is up?'
'Edward,' I groaned reminded of my hasty announcement earlier 'I'm sorry I blurted that out, I should have waited and told you properly when I was
calmer.'
He sat down on the piano stool and leaned his elbows on his knees 'I really am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable earlier, I didn't mean it, and
I hate that I keep upsetting you but it's not intentional, maybe if we get to know each other a bit better.'
'I don't think it will change anything.' I sighed.
'Bella, do you have any idea how hard it is to find a good, affordable place to stay? This is a major year for me and I really do need somewhere
quiet away from all the distractions I'm used to.' He leaned forward on the stool and his eyes were beseeching 'Place the ad, by all means, but at
least give me a chance to change your mind?'
I owed him that much, even if I doubted he would manage it, he deserved it after my outburst. 'Okay.' I nodded.
He stood up 'I'll let you get some sleep then we can talk again tomorrow.' He offered a tight smile and then left.
I climbed into bed suddenly very tired and not looking forward to having to get up early for work. I lay there for a while before ruminating over this
new glimpse I'd been given of Edward, Alice had told me he was different underneath it all but I was still unsettled by the way he seemed to elicit so
many conflicting reactions from me.
The following evening I was exhausted when I got in from work, I carried the deli bag into the kitchen and sat it on the counter. On Sundays I
always brought home leftovers from the deli for dinner for Jasper and I had decided to continue that tradition with Edward.
The living room was quiet and I was just wondering if Edward was out when he emerged from his room.
'I got your note.' He said referring to the note I'd left in the morning asking him not to cook.
I picked up the bag again and waived it at him 'I always bring home leftovers on a Sunday,' I placed the bag down and started pulling out the
contents 'there's even a steak sandwich.'
I pulled the lids off everything while Edward scooted past me and grabbed two plates and some cutlery, we piled our plates with food and
Edward brought two sodas to the table.
'So are you ready to talk?' He asked through a mouthful of his steak sandwich.
'I guess.' I sighed, leaving the field open for him to go first.
He wiped his mouth with a napkin and took a long drink of his soda before fixing me with an intense stare, 'Okay, I suggest that we start over, I
know we already did but this time I will try to see things from your point of view. Maybe if you told me a little more about yourself it would help.'
'I'm not exactly comfortable talking about myself.' I said stabbing a mushroom with my fork and popping it into my mouth.
'Well, we could start with the basics, you know, you're likes and dislikes, what's your favourite TV show?'
'I don't really watch a lot of TV, I prefer to read.'
'Okay, what's your favourite book?'
I smiled 'That's too difficult to narrow it down to one, however, the one I keep going back to is East of Eden by John Steinbeck.'
He nodded as if I had clarified something that had been puzzling him 'Your mom was religious right?'
' Is religious.' I corrected 'The last I heard she was still living on a commune.'
'The one you lived on?'
I felt that tiny hairline crack on my heart as the memories assailed me, the cruel way she accused me of being a sinner for talking to a boy on the
way home from school. The awful sense of fear I had endured every day in that horrible commune before Charlie finally rescued me.
'I look back now and I'm glad she didn't try to stop Charlie from taking me or fight to get me back, but it hurt at the time. When Charlie brought me
home his way of life was alien to me, I was like a newborn all over again trying to make sense of the world around me.' I dropped my fork onto my
plate my appetite was long gone.
'Do you ever hear from her?'
I shook my head 'It's funny, I wonder what she would say if she could see me now, I mean despite spending my formative years with Charlie and
then moving I still carry a lot of the guilt she instilled in me.' I looked at him and he was settled back in his chair watching me intently 'I guess that's
why I overreact to things that seem trivial to other people.'
'Sounds like you've had a very tough sheltered life,' he mused 'you need to get out into the world, try some new stuff, find out what you like, who
you are.'
I stood up and took my plate into the kitchen 'Yeah, well Jasper has helped me with that over the years but now that he has Alice I'm more or less
on my own.'
He brought his own plate and the soda glasses in, grabbed a towel and started drying the dishes I was washing.
'You know you're very domesticated.' I observed, desperate to get off the subject.
He shrugged, Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme taught me well.'
'What about your parents?'
I caught the prickle of tension emanating from him straight away 'My dad died when I was four and my mom left me with Uncle Carlisle for the
weekend and never came back.'
I gasped 'How awful!' I wasn't sure what was more awful the event itself or the cold disaffected way he said it.
'It was the best thing she ever did for me.' He put the last of the dishes away and closed the cupboard door a little too slowly before finally turning
to face me again, his emerald eyes were dark with memories that I knew he wouldn't share tonight.
'Well maybe you should set some ground rules for me,' he smiled and his face was instantly transformed 'you know, like, no innuendo, no
alcohol...'
'No, I don't mind if you drink... but..um.. definitely no innuendo?'
'That's a pity,' he smirked 'It's what I do best!'
We spent the rest of the evening talking about less personal subjects and I was impressed by the passion in his voice when he spoke of his
plans for after college. I went to bed that night feeling like I might have misjudged him but there was still a nagging voice in my head warning me not
to let my guard down.
Chapter 4
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
I muddled through my morning classes on Monday but by lunchtime I was dead on my feet and seriously considering skipping the afternoon
lectures when I encountered Jasper.
'You okay, Bella you look like crap.'
'Thanks Jazz!' I pouted but I couldn't help the wide grin that spread across my face as he flung his arms around me.
'Is it that bad?' He asked pulling away to search my eyes, I could see the concern clear in his 'Actually, we sort of came to an agreement last
night.' I admitted feeling exposed by my own rashness on Saturday night.
He unfolded a sheet of paper and held it out to me 'So I don't need to put this up then?'
I read the flyer, it was the ad for my spare room 'No, still put it up, I've agreed to give it a shot but I can't really see it working out.'
He walked me to the cafeteria as I filled him in on the deal that Edward and I had struck and I was surprised by Jasper's scepticism.
'Hmm, sounds to me like he wants to start dragging you around Seattle in a warped effort to normalise you!'

I stopped mid stride ' Normalise me?'

He shot me the kind of look that a parent would give a child who was being deliberately obtuse 'You know what I mean, Bella, I mean normal to
him,' he sighed 'what is he trying to do here? Turn you into one of the bar hopping skags he usually dates!'
'Jazz, we are not going to be dating, he's just suggesting that we get to know each other better and the best way to do that is to share our
common interests. I thought you'd be happy, it's time I made more friends.'
His eyes narrowed 'Yes it is, but the only interests Edward Cullen has is scouring bars looking for women, that's not a common interest he could
share with you.'
He seemed annoyed and it was the complete opposite reaction to what I was expecting, I had genuinely thought he'd be pleased that I was
willing to give his choice of roommate another shot.
'I thought you'd be pleased.' I said again my new found confidence in my ability to handle Edward slowly evaporating.
'I just don't want you to get hurt,' He sighed 'just don't let him talk you into anything you're not comfortable with.'
I rolled my eyes 'We're going to see a movie on Thursday, he's hardly going to pounce on me in the middle of a movie club showing of East of
Eden.'
He scoffed 'Edward is going to sit through that with you?'
'Actually, it was his idea, he knows I don't watch much TV and know even less about movies, he suggested that since I love the book it might be
nice for me to watch the film adaptation.'
We were still mid argument when Edward appeared at our table 'Hi guys!' He said plonking his tray down on the table and consumed half a pizza
slice in one bite. 'Jesus Bella, you look like shit!'
Jasper frowned.
I didn't see much of Edward for the rest of the week, true to his word he spent most evenings working in his room or at late lectures. By the time
Thursday rolled around and we were due to go to the Movie club Jasper's words were haunting me, what if this was just a rouse I mean, how could
Edward possibly want to sit through East of Eden?
He materialised in his doorway at seven thirty on the dot dressed in a plain black button down shirt and charcoal jacket, he'd also shaved but his
hair was the one thing that could not be tamed and was as rambunctious as ever. I smiled nervously as he cocked one eyebrow as he appraised
my outfit.
Not knowing what the usual attire was for a non date with your room mate to see a fifty year old film on a college campus, I had decided that
maybe a little effort was required so had donned a simple floral dress toned down by my jean jacket and deck shoes.
'Is this okay?' I asked and almost bit my tongue off with embarrassment.
'Do you think its okay?' He asked his eyes probing mine and the subtle reminder to be myself did not go unnoticed.
'Point taken.' I said forcing a tight smile.
As we walked towards my truck I heard him chuckle 'Is this heap yours?'
 'Hey,' I groused 'don't hate the truck.'
He held his hands up in apology but the smile that graced his face was natural and set me at ease.
He slid onto the seat beside me and I started the engine, when I turned to look out the rear window to reverse our eyes met and he grinned at
me. I tore my eyes away and concentrated on the task at hand. We drove in silence but his presence seemed to fill every bit of space around me
and I was intensely aware of him. He, on the other hand, looked casual and relaxed as his fingers tapped out a lazy rhythm on the window frame.
When we reached our destination I gave Edward one last chance to back out which he didn't take and so with a deep breath I pushed the doors
open and together we stepped into a room teaming with students all locked in individual discussions, I glanced at Edward and he smiled
encouragingly. At the back of the room there was a small refreshment table so we grabbed a couple of sodas and found two seats just in time for
the movie to start.
I thoroughly enjoyed the film and it was a wonderful surprise for me to look around the room and see pleasure reflected in so many faces, it was
an entirely new experience to share an emotion with so many people in such a public setting. I glanced at Edward but his eyes were on me rather
than the screen and for a brief moment before he turned to the screen I thought I saw a glimmer of pleasure in his eyes.
'That was amazing! Of course it was only a small part of the full story, but still, I'd like to watch more of James Dean's work, he was so intense as
Cal!' I trilled as we made our way through the dark crowded parking lot to my truck 'I expected the place to be empty, I can't believe there were so
many people there and you could have heard a pin drop through the entire film!' I opened the truck door and climbed in 'It wasn't too boring for you
was it?' I asked, worried that the night might have been excruciating for him.
He chuckled, 'It was surprisingly good.'
'The film?'
'No Bella, not the film, you were right about that, it wasn't my scene at all but it was good to see you lose yourself like that.'
His words perplexed me but I'd had such a good evening they failed to erase the smile from my face. I pulled the truck out of the lot and headed
for home, Edward chuckled beside me.
'What?' I asked stealing a glance in his direction.
'I was just thinking you look so buzzed you could probably fly home.'
I grinned 'I guess I'm just... buzzed.. that I felt a part of something tonight, I've never felt that before, you know? A whole room of people all feeling
the same emotion, engrossed in the same story, it was...amazing.'
He chuckled again 'Yeah, you said that already and I hate to break this to you, but James Dean only made three films.'
'Really?' I asked disappointed.
He sighed 'Yep, he died young.'
I ruminated on that all the way home, life is way too short to procrastinate on things that really don't matter at all. It gave me renewed conviction
that I should make the effort to attack life and get what I want from it rather than just let it happen around me.
I parked outside the apartment, killed the engine and swivelled in my seat to face him 'Thank you Edward,' his eyes met mine 'for suggesting this
tonight, I had a good time.'
'Well since you like the book so much, I was pretty sure you would enjoy it.' He said modestly.
He got out of the truck first and I followed him to the apartment where I waited while he unlocked our front door and stepped inside. We stood
facing each other in the hallway.
'I might have a beer.' He said and it sounded like an invitation as he shrugged his jacket off and hung it on the offensively placed coat stand.
I yawned theatrically and he grinned at me. I became aware of his close proximity as his eyes searched mine and I fought the urge to
swallow...hard.
'Goodnight Bella.' His voice was decadent like melting chocolate as I felt his breath fan my face.
'Goodnight.' I said my hand fumbling frantically behind me for the door knob, I found it and twisted it altogether too quickly and almost fell
backwards into my room.
His hand clamped around my arm like a vice 'Woah, careful.' His expression was caught somewhere between intense humour and mild concern.
I wriggled free from his grip and ducked into my room closing the door with more restraint than I felt. I stood for a few interminable moments
listening to my own crashing heartbeat before I mentally berated myself and got ready for another sleepless night.
I dragged my laundry bag into the apartment on Friday night and dumped it in my room, I could put the clothes away later, I had gone straight to
the Laundromat after college and eaten a carton of take out Chinese noodles while I watched my clothes tumble around in the washing machine.
 'Edward?' I called out removing my jacket and heading into the living room, no answer.
It was just gone eight and I figured he'd probably gone out for the evening so I grabbed a soda from the fridge and retrieved my needlepoint from
my room and relaxed onto the couch to unwind.
Less than half an hour later Edward breezed into the apartment brandishing a brown grocery bag and squinted at my needlepoint.
'Seriously?' He smirked 'Friday night and you're doing needlepoint.'
We had fallen into an easy manner with each other and I now knew he wasn't being mean with his little quips.
'It's very relaxing.' I insisted 'I've had a rough day.'
'Well I can help with that.' He said dumping the bag on the counter and pulling out two six packs of beer, two large bags of chips and a pack of
playing cards.
I eyed his wares suspiciously and looked up at him confused.
He walked towards me and took the needlepoint carefully from my hands 'That's really nice,' he said looking down at it 'but it's hardly a team
sport now is it?'
'And two six packs and a couple of bags of chips is?' I snorted.
'Last night was your thing, tonight is mine..' he hesitated slightly but still waggled the cards in front of me 'if you're up for it?'
'Why don't you tell me what you have in mind.' I suggested taking the needlepoint back and standing up. 'I'll put this back in my room.'
He walked behind me as I went 'Normally if I'm not too busy with course work I go out on a Friday night but since you're newly twenty one but act
like your seventeen I thought we could hang out here, have a couple of beers and play cards. You can play?'
He lingered in my doorway his arms stretched above his head gripping the frame and watched me put the needlepoint in my sewing box. 'Does
Snap count?'
A wide grin spread over his face 'I had you down as more of a Solitaire girl.' He pushed away from the doorway as I walked towards him and we
moved back to the living room 'I'll teach you how to play poker.' He put the beers in the fridge leaving one out and twisted the cap off before offering
it to me.
I eyed the bottle , I'd never drank beer before but the wine had been a pleasant surprise so I accepted the bottle and took a sensitive sip. My
mouth was instantly filled with bitter bubbles and when I swallowed it left a horrible after taste in the back of my throat. I grimaced and handed the
bottle back shaking my head.
Edward laughed 'Lucky I brought back up.' He lifted a bottle of wine out of the bag and poured me a small glass.
We settled at the table and he roughly explained the rules to me as he dealt the cards, I didn't follow any of it and the first few hands we played
descended into farce as I struggled to comprehend the object of the game.
'For the love of God Bella how many times?' he laughed scooping my cards up and throwing them at me 'my Full House beats your Flush.'
I narrowed my eyes dramatically 'I'm not sure I trust you, you seem to be doing all the winning here.'
'Are you accusing me of cheat...'
We were interrupted by a loud knock on the door and exchanged confused glances before Edward got up to answer it 'You're not expecting
anyone are you?' He asked making his way to the door.
I wasn't and I stood up to see who it was as he swung the door open to reveal Jasper and Alice . 'Come in!' I leapt towards them and my voice
came out sounding embarrassingly like a squeal and they raised their eyebrows in unison. I cleared my throat and hoped my voice would sound
more normal when I spoke again 'I wasn't expecting to see you guys tonight.'
Jasper stepped into the apartment eyeing Edward 'We thought you might appreciate some company.'
Alice skipped in behind him hugging Edward first and then me 'We thought Edward might be out and Jasper couldn't bear the thought of you
sitting in alone on a Friday night.'
Jasper looked sheepish and I laughed 'It never bothered you when you were dating Alice, I can remember many weekends spent alone.'
His head snapped up and I was shocked to see that he actually looked offended but then as quickly as it had appeared it was gone and I was left
wondering if I had imagined it.
'I'm teaching Bella how to play poker, but it's not going well, let me tell you.' Edward said with an easy smile 'It's actually sort of perfect that you
guys showed up, she thinks I'm cheating.'
'I do not!' I protested swatting his arm.
 'Have you been drinking?' Jasper had passed us and was now taking in the contents of the table.
'Yes dad!' I giggled sarcastically and turned to Alice 'Would you like a glass of wine?'
Alice giggled back 'Bella's letting loose, I approve.'
The four of us settled at the table and I slowly began to grasp the rules and finally won a hand I squealed in delight and Edward and Alice gave
me a high five while Jasper simply gaped at me open mouthed.
Alice slid onto Jaspers lap as we played and we laughed at his poorly disguised attempts to peak at her hand. I watched the easy way they were
together, the way his lips would brush her shoulder surreptitiously or she would play with his hair absentmindedly. It made my heart ache, not
because I was jealous, but because I longed to feel loved like that.
The evening wore on and I made some coffee as the game wound down and the spectre of work the next day loomed in my mind and I started to
think about calling it a night.
Jasper helped me clear the glasses and bottles from the table and leaned against the counter while I bagged up the trash. 'I had a really good
time tonight, I'm so glad you and Alice came over,' I smiled 'I don't know why we didn't think of it.'
'We?' He crooked a questioning eyebrow but his lips were curved into an amused grin 'you've changed your tune.'
'Maybe I was slightly hasty, he's been very nice this week.' I said cradling my wine glass to my chest.
He stepped forward 'Bella, I get that you want to broaden your horizons but you really shouldn't be too trusting.' His eyes were gentle 'He's
supposed to be here because he needs to get away from the party life style and here he is plying you with alcohol and teaching you poker.'
I stifled a giggle 'Jazz, I love that you're concerned but really, we're just trying to get to know each other, that's all! it'll make living together a whole
lot easier.'
He let out a long hissing breath and folded his arms across his chest 'I'm sorry, I know Alice is adamant that he's okay underneath it all but I've
seen him in action and I don't trust him.'
'In action?' My eyebrows shot up in surprise.
Jasper ruffled his fingers through his hair and sighed again 'I just think we should find you someone more suitable.'
'Suitable for what?' Edward asked setting the wine bottle carefully on the counter.
I spun round and could see the hint of challenge in his dark green eyes, thankfully Alice appeared behind him holding Jasper's jacket. Edward
stepped to the side as Jasper brushed passed and I offered Edward a small smile of apology as I followed them to the door.
'You should come to ours for dinner on Sunday, Bella,' Alice said hugging me 'if you're not doing anything?'
I shook my head 'No, it was just going to be my usual leftovers after work night, I'll come straight from work, can I bring anything?'
'No, just your good self.' She smiled kissing my cheek.
'I'll see you Sunday.' Jasper said hugging me and then they were gone.
Edward was sitting on the couch shuffling the cards when I returned to the living room.
'So, you gonna tell me what Jasper's problem is?' He asked without looking at me.
He was referring to Jasper's coolness towards him as he left. 'He's always looked out for me, I guess he was just caught off guard seeing me
with a drink in my hand playing poker.' I smiled but it drifted away as I continued 'I guess I freaked him out a little bit last weekend when I said I didn't
want you living here.' My cheeks flamed as I spoke 'That conversation in the kitchen, was just him making sure I was okay.'
He looked up at me 'Ah, the more suitable comment,' He laid the cards on the coffee table and raked his fingers through his hair 'I'm unsuitable?'
'He didn't mean it like that.'
He stood up and moved towards me his stride long and fluid 'If I want Jasper's opinion I'll ask him, what's your opinion, do you think I'm
unsuitable.'
'I don't think so.' I whispered.
To my surprise he grinned 'Well that's progress on last week, isn't it?'
He towered over me and in the absence of words I simply nodded. His eyes flicked to the kitchen clock and I was reminded of the late hour 'I'm
going to bed.' I said quietly and stepped around him.
I left him standing there as I went to bed. Sleep evaded me as I replayed Jasper's warning in my mind, was I being too naive?
The following night when I arrived home from work Edward was studying at the living room table, he looked up to say hello and I noticed how tired
he looked, strain was etched across his usually relaxed features.
'I'll just take a quick shower and then I'll cook dinner.' I offered dumping my bag on the couch and stepping gratefully out of my shoes.
'I...erm.. I have a date tonight so I'll be eating out, but thanks.'
'Oh, right,' I said picking up my shoes 'I think there's some leftover Vegetarian Lasagne, I'll just stick that in the microwave.'
He pointed with his pencil to a small package on the coffee table 'I got you something.'
I bent to pick it up under his watchful gaze, fished inside the bag and pulled out two DVD's and when I turned them over to read the titles delight
bubbled through me 'Persuasion and Emma!' I smiled.
'Those were all they had.' He explained looking adorably uncomfortable. 'I thought you might want to watch them tonight, I saw your reading list on
the counter the other day and thought, you might like to watch the movies too.'
'That's really sweet of you Edward, you didn't have to do that.' I sat down on the couch and scanned the covers.
'It was no trouble at all, I was passing the store on the way home.' He said closing his books and stacking them in a pile before picking them up.
'Do you mind if I take a shower before you?'
I dragged my eyes away from the DVD's 'Sure, go ahead.'
I pottered about the kitchen humming to myself suddenly happy that I had a relaxing night with Jane Austen planned. I heard Edward come out of
the bathroom and head into his room so I took the opportunity to have my shower while the lasagne was defrosting.
The bathroom smelled of his shampoo and I was gratified that he was exactly like Jasper in the respect that he left the bathroom in the same
state he found it. I stepped out of the shower wrapped a towel around my hair and used another to dry myself, I wrapped the second towel around
my body and padded to my room to get dressed.
I changed into a vest top and comfortable pyjama bottoms and mindful that Edward would still be in I topped it off with my fluffy bathrobe. He was
just finishing tying his laces in the living room and stood up as I came in.
He was wearing dark jeans and a snug fitting black long sleeved shirt and he looked every bit as handsome as he did the night he took me to
see East of Eden 'You look nice,' I smiled 'going somewhere special?'
He shook his head 'Just to some Thai place Emmett loves, he's met this new chick..' he grimaced 'girl.. and he set me up with her roommate, a
sort of double date..' he groaned '... it's all very high school really.'
'I'm sure you'll have a great time.' I beamed finding his discomfort funny.
Just as he was leaving a thought occurred to me, this was unchartered territory and something we hadn't set ground rules on.
'Do you mind if I ask you something?' I said clearing my throat nervously.
'Shoot.' He said seemingly too preoccupied by checking the contents of his wallet to notice the gravity of my tone.
'Will you be bringing your date back here?'
His head jerked up and his eyes connected with mine 'I hadn't really thought that far ahead.' He said quietly. 'Did Jasper bring Alice back
initially?'
I shook my head 'But that was because Alice already had her own place.' I started to regret bringing it up, I felt somehow like I was prying into
matters that didn't concern me and thinking too much about Edward and his date wasn't a good thing 'I don't mind if you do, I won't be staying up
late anyway so...'
He dragged his hand through his hair and checked his watch 'No, I..erm.. I'll see what happens but either way I won't bring anyone back here. I
better go or I'll be late.'
I plopped down on the couch and cringed. By the time I left for work the next morning Edward hadn't returned.
a/n Thanks for reading. If you are thinking of adding an alert or a favourite etc, I'd love a review too... Just saying!
Chapter 5
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
I was cleaning the apartment when Edward arrived home looking exhausted and dishevelled on Thursday night, we had been like ships passing
in the night all week, barely in the apartment at the same time for more than a few minutes.
'Hey.' He said dropping his bag to the floor with a thud, then noticing the brush and dustpan in my hand apologised, picked it back up and took it
into his room.
'Have you eaten?' I asked putting away the brush and removing the scarf from my hair.
'I'll order a pizza later.' He sighed rubbing his hands down his face and then stretching 'I'm way too tired to think about cooking tonight.'
'There's some pasta in the fridge, I'll heat it up for you.'
He opened his mouth to protest but I shooshed him and headed into the kitchen to do it. 'So how was the hospital?'
'Exhausting!'
'I can see that, but you enjoyed it, right?'
He nodded and a slow smile crept across his face 'I know it's going to be hard and exhausting and challenging, but I can't wait to start my
internship.' He sat on the couch and removed his shoes rubbing his feet 'I really felt at home there, you know, for the first time, I felt like I was really
seeing what it was all about,' he was eager now invigorated by the subject matter 'I feel like I learned more today than the years I've spent pouring
over textbooks and listening to lectures.'
He stood up and came into the kitchen 'You don't have to do that, sit down and put your feet up I can fix my own meal.'
His hands clamped onto my shoulders and he started kneading them, his thumbs pressed into the area between my shoulder blades and he
rubbed small warming circles into my skin. I froze instantly and he snatched his hands away.
'Sorry!' He said taking a step back 'I don't know where that came from, I wasn't thinking.'
Shame burned on my face as I fought to keep my composure, true it had been a completely unexpected act but it wasn't as if he'd thrown me
over his shoulder and carried me off to his bedroom. I was embarrassed that he was obviously so at ease that he could take it upon himself to give
me a perfectly innocent neck rub while I had reacted like a freak and turned it into something seedy.
It was another reminder of my failure to behave like a normal adult human being.
'I-I-It's okay,' I stammered still feeling a tingle in the spot he'd rubbed 'I'll leave you to it, then.' I stalked through the living room unaware that he was
following me until he gripped my arm.
'Bella?' His voice was pleading 'I didn't mean to upset you it was a mistake.'
He turned me round and cursed when he saw the tears threatening to spill from my eyes, I wiped at them furiously unable to meet his gaze.
'Please don't worry, I'm just being silly,' I sniffed 'I'm simply embarrassed.'
'Because I rubbed your neck?' I could tell he was trying to hide his incredulity but his voice belied it.
'No because of my stupid reaction to it.'
'Don't go running into your room, stay and talk to me.'
His voice was so gentle and persuasive I couldn't say no so I allowed him to lead me to the sofa where he sat me down and then sat beside me
being sure to keep a respectful distance.
'You don't have to be so hard on yourself all the time Bella, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, it was a natural reaction.' He said gently.
'Yes, for a thirteen year old.'
He chuckled 'Okay, well I'll give you that.'
His mirth broke some of the tension and I smiled despite myself, the more I got to know Edward the more he surprised me, I was beginning to
see past the mantle he had been wearing, there was so much more to him than I had imagined. Sure, I was still aware of his reputation, that he still
went out drinking at least one night a week and he hadn't come home after his date at the weekend. But none of that seemed like such a big deal
anymore, not when I knew he could be like this.
I shook my head and sighed 'My mother did a real number on me in that department, I guess it was her own guilt for marrying dad and having me,
but she made the whole boyfriend thing seem so wrong, so... sinful.'
 'And you still feel that way?' He probed.
'I don't really think about it, I guess I subconsciously thought if I ignored it I'd wake up one day feeling like everybody else meet a nice boy and
discover for myself what all the fuss is about.'
'I thought you and Jasper might have had a history there, you know with you two growing up so close and all.'
I smiled then 'No, Jasper is like a brother to me, we have discussed it and I guess we just figured I was pretty much asexual.' I snorted, 'it was our
little joke and it never bothered me, but lately I've been..' I sucked in a deep breath 'I'm sorry you've had a rough day, you don't want to listen to this.'
A slow bitter ache started in my chest and rose in my throat, without even being consciously aware of it I could now see it, all along I had believed
that one day I would meet someone when the time was right maybe even have children, but how could that be possible when I couldn't even stand to
have my neck touched by a man who had so captivated me on our first meeting? A small sob escaped my throat.
'I do.' He said simply.
'Seeing Jasper and Alice together has really opened my eyes to what love really means, it's not sinful and wicked like my mom made out.' I rung
my hands together in my lap 'Lately I've been wanting to..' I was blushing furiously 'I want someone to love me like that and I want to be able to love
like that but I don't know how.'
He moved closer to me but still did not touch me and that upset me more, I looked up into his eyes and they were filled with questions I knew he
would never ask, I held his gaze as my hand slowly made its way upwards and without thinking I touched his face, he didn't even blink, it was almost
as if my fingers weren't fluttering along his exquisitely defined jaw.
My heart burst into life and my mouth dried up completely as my thumb brushed across his bottom lip and my eyes flicked to the muscle working
in his jaw, at last a reaction and the knowledge I was having some effect on him empowered me. All at once I needed to force myself to take a risk.
'Will you kiss me?' I breathed.
His breath blew out harshly and fanned my face, his eyes closed tight but he didn't move 'Bella.' He groaned I could hear the rejection in his
voice.
The spell was broken and I felt my lip tremble as I struggled to hide my disappointment, I dropped my hand from his face and it fell into my lap.
'I'm sorry,' I whispered 'Of course you won't.'
His eyes opened his face looked stricken and as he lifted both his hands to cup my face my heart began hammering in my chest. He stared
intently into my eyes 'Bella, are you sure?'
'Yes, I want to know what it feels like.'
His eyes burned into mine 'So it's purely for research purposes?' He said lightly but then his eyes dropped to my lips and I knew he was going to
do it.
He leaned forward painfully slowly and pressed his lips softly to mine, a strangled cry escaped from my throat as the pleasure of his touch
washed through me, my hands slid up to cover his and his lips began to move. It was such an exquisite sensation as his lips trapped mine and they
moved fluidly together. I felt his tongue trace my bottom lip and when it probed between my lips I gasped, losing my nerve, and pulled back.
He didn't let me go, he pressed his forehead against mine, we were both breathing heavily and I forced my eyes open to see that his were still
closed and his brow was deeply furrowed.
'Edward?'
He opened his eyes and extricated his hands from beneath mine 'Bella, I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that.'
'Why not?' Had he not enjoyed it? I felt disappointment course through me.
'I shouldn't take advantage of you.'
I sat back and shot him a stern look 'You didn't take advantage of me, I wanted you to kiss me.'
'Why?' He challenged and there was an accusation in his tone that I couldn't understand.
I bit my lip and blushed under his intense gaze. 'I told you, I wanted to know what it feels like.'
'You've never asked Jasper?'
I blushed 'Yes I did once but he refused.'
His shoulders sagged 'Like I should have done, so what happens now?' Still that same accusing tone.
'You're not at all the person I imagined you were, you're so kind and thoughtful and I really enjoy your company,' I knew I was rambling but I was
desperately trying to sort through it in my head as I spoke 'and I feel like I can be myself around you, you know?'
He slumped back on the couch and jammed his fingers into his hair pulling it back as they raked through it, it sprang up in all directions and I
giggled 'I love it when you do that.'
'Alright, stop!' He groaned 'I don't know what's got into you tonight Bella, one minute you're flinching at my touch and now you're all sex kitten on
me?'
'No you don't understand Edward,' I said taking his hand in mine, excited by the idea burgeoning in my head 'this is perfect, you could teach me
all about this stuff.'
His eyes popped wide 'Teach you? Bella what are you talking about?'
I sucked in a long calming breath 'I know now that I want to find love, I want to have a relationship but if I keep making horrible mistakes, I always
get my reactions all wrong. I'm not the easiest person to get to know,' I raked my fingers through my hair and snorted humourlessly 'people just tend
to avoid me, I think I give off a freak vibe. But with you it's different and you know all about this stuff, so you could help me.'
'Wait! Slow down,' he said his eyes were wide and he looked alarmed, this wasn't the reaction I was hoping for 'I know all about what stuff?'
'Relationships, falling in love, that kind of thing.' I answered daring to slide my hand over his forearm 'you could teach me.'
He was looking at me as if I'd just spoken to him in Dutch and then he laughed 'This is a joke, right? You're not seriously asking me to date you!'
I felt giddy now with the promise of it, If Edward helped me get used to that side of things maybe when I did finally fall in love I would have a real
chance at it, he was the first person since Jasper who I had really connected with and he was definitely the first boy, man, who had ever ignited any
kind of romantic emotion in me.
'Yes,' I smiled 'No, I mean, I'm not asking you to my boyfriend, I'm just asking you to... to show me how to be a girlfriend.'
I was getting it all muddled and spectacularly wrong I could see that much written all over his face.
'So you want me to prep you for some other guy?' His tone was harsh.
'Don't make it sound so cheap.'
'Bella, It is cheap, it's beyond cheap,' he leaned forward pulled his hand from mine and gripped my shoulder 'how far do you want to go? Have
you got that all planned out, do you want me to fu..' despite his obvious anger he restrained himself and clamped his mouth shut.
'Edward, I just want to go on a few dates, see what it's like,' I blushed 'maybe even have a few kisses, it wasn't too bad was it?'
'No it wasn't bad at all.' He agreed and a faint smile touched his lips 'Bella, you are such an enigma, I don't get you, I really don't.'
'But you do,' I insisted encouraged by that hint of a smile 'you're so honest all the time, brutally so sometimes, but that's what I need.' I brushed my
hand across his arm feeling the soft sprinkle of hair beneath my fingers 'Please, Edward, I don't want to spend all my Friday nights doing
needlepoint.'
He rolled his eyes and a strained chuckle escaped his lips 'Okay but if we're going to do this we need to set some ground rules. God I can't
believe I'm even contemplating this!'
I clapped my hands in glee and hugged him, he patted my shoulder awkwardly and pulled me back so he could look at me 'First, we have to go
on realistic dates, I might even take you to a bar...'
'But I've never been to a bar.' I gasped in horror.
'A bar, Bella, not a snake pit!' His expression turned serious 'And I sort of meant what I said earlier, I need to know how far you want to go with
this.'
I blushed 'Edward, I want to know how to loosen up around the opposite sex but there are still some values I will be holding on to,' I cast my eyes
down to my lap 'I'll be saving myself for marriage.'
He chucked my chin like I was a baby 'Good girl.' He winked and the tense mood was broken.
a/n Thanks for reading. Will she save herself for marriage?
Chapter 6
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Okay so in the previous chapters there was allusions to Bella having had a tough early childhood, but for the purposes of not
making my story TOO angsty she isn't as effed up as she would have been if Charlie hadn't rescued her so we'll get to see her loosen
up and grow without having to plough through a ton of guilt and self recrimination etc
Thanks to all the people who have added this story as either a favourite or for alerts I just LOVE getting those emails, however,
review Emails are better. I'd love to hear your thoughts so far.
I have FIFTY reviews now which is brilliant I am absolutely chuffed to bits about that and thank you to all you lovely people for
sharing with me.
This chapter is rather short but the next one is the first date so let's get this out of the way.
'There! you look perfect.' Alice said snapping her make up back shut and swivelling my chair round so I could see myself in the mirror 'Voila!'
She was right, when she'd offered to make me over for the party she and Jasper were throwing I'd had my doubts but agreed to let her do it on
the proviso that I didn't end up looking like a drag queen. I surveyed her handiwork, my skin looked translucent, my eyes seemed wider and my
lashes slightly more prominent and my lips were subtly shimmering, considering the time she'd spent and the amount of products she'd used I was
surprised to see that it looked like I was hardly wearing any make up at all.
'What about the dress?' She asked.
I stood up and did a little twirl in the full length mirror, the dark green dress was beautiful and she had given me a short black bolero to wear with
it since I didn't feel comfortable wearing the strapless dress without it. 'Thanks Alice.' I breathed.
She laughed a lovely tinkling musical laugh and enveloped me in a surprisingly strong hug for one so small. 'I'm just glad you're finally coming out
of your shell, Bella. Two months ago you wouldn't have even come to the party never mind let me dress you up.'
'You make me sound like a doll.'
She kissed my cheek lightly and grinned at me 'You are a doll!'
'I'm so glad Jasper found you.' I sighed 'You make him so happy, and you don't mind our friendship.'
'Of course I don't, why would I? He told me from the start all about you.'
'You'd be surprised, I scared off everyone else.'
Alice grinned 'But I'm not like everyone else.' She was certainly right about that 'Okay, I need to go get myself ready now, go check on Jasper
he's supposed to be washing the glasses,' I hopped off the stool and headed for the door 'and tell him not the ones in the kitchen cabinet, the ones
in the boxes that my mom dropped off!'
An hour later and the party was in full swing, Alice was being the perfect hostess and doing the rounds making sure everyone had enough to eat
and drink and that the music was just right, I was sitting on a bar stool beside Jasper as we watched her do her thing.
'She's great!' Jasper sighed 'I don't know how she does it, she organized all this herself and everything is perfect.'
'You washed the glasses.' I grinned nudging him 'What's a party without clean glasses?' I held mine up dramatically to the light and studied it.
'You know I still can't get used to seeing you drink.'
'It's a little wine Jasper, you make me sound like a raving alcoholic.' I laughed.
'Here comes your roomie,' He tipped his beer bottle in the direction of the door. 'and he brought a date.'
I turned to see Edward coming through it followed by a tall dark haired guy who wouldn't look out of place in a wrestling ring and two blondes. I
swallowed down a sharp pang of jealousy and reminded myself that what Edward and I had was an arrangement and nothing more, but I couldn't
help but feel if he got serious about someone it would be over before it had even begun. He'd mentioned earlier that he would bringing the girl he
went on the double date with.
It had only been two days since he'd agreed to my request, we hadn't really ironed out the finer details yet but he had suggested that maybe he
shouldn't date until I was ready to date someone for real. I vetoed that idea straight away, I was touched by his offer but I doubted he would be able
to stick to that bargain and I didn't want him to have to hide things from me.
Though seeing him with his arm loosely draped around the girls shoulders now I felt slightly uncomfortable and wasn't sure how to act.
The big dark haired guy came over first and amused me greatly by pulling Jasper off his stool and into a painful looking bear hug 'So you finally
got whipped!' He yelled laughing raucously.
 Jasper smiled but his voice was sour when he replied 'Not as much as you Emmett, You've had like six dates and already Rosalie leads you
round by the c...' he glanced at me and didn't finish the sentence.
It was little things like that, that convinced me I was doing the right thing. Jasper had always been there for me but maybe he had been just a little
too protective, Edward, however, didn't have that problem at all.
I realised when he said his name that this was Edward's old roommate, he still held Jasper in a head lock when his eyes reached mine and his
eyebrows rose in surprised appraisal ''Who's this?'
He released Jasper who turned to face me rubbing his neck and shooting a venomous glare at Emmett. 'This is Bella, my ex roommate.'
Inexplicably, I felt slighted by his offhand reference, it wasn't like him, I was more than merely his ex roommate, surely!
Emmett's grin was a thousand watts. 'So you're the one Edward is shacking up with?'
'Em! Try to reign it in, just this once!' Jasper snapped and Emmett grinned wider and held his hands up in apology.
Just as I was about to approach Edward, Emmett curled his hand around the forearm of the most beautiful woman in the room and twirled her to
face us. Her golden blonde hair hung elegantly like a curtain of silk draping her beautiful alabaster shoulders. Her bright blue eyes were wide and
while on first appearance they looked innocent, on further inspection they were as hard as granite and, at this moment in time, as disdainful as if
she'd just found something unsavoury on the sole of her shoe.
'This is Rosalie.' Emmett announced and Jasper took the initiative, sliding off his stool and shaking her hand.
'Nice to meet you .' He said.
I felt slightly at odds with his formality and stayed seated while extending my hand, she barely touched it and then simply dipped her head which
drew a hearty laugh from Emmett. It seemed I could relate more to men than to women as I squirmed red faced on my stool.
Jasper pulled his stool towards mine and then perched himself on top, draping his arm over my shoulder 'I've had a few enquiries about the room
so you won't have to put up with him much longer.'
He emphasised the word 'him' as his eyes flicked to Edward who was approaching with the blonde still clamped to his side.
'Jasper, Bella.' Edward said smoothly though he didn't look at Jasper at all. The girl coughed slightly and he looked at her as if only just
remembering she was there 'This is Lauren.' Though he smiled I could see the tiniest flicker of uncertainty in his eyes as they flicked to mine, but just
as quickly the flicked back to Lauren 'Bella is my roommate.'
Though I wouldn't have thought it possible Lauren was even less friendly than Rosalie and I seethed inwardly as she ignored my hand and gave
me a sarcastic smile before asking 'Eddie' to get her a drink. Apparently noticing my embarrassment Edward shot me an apologetic smile and
then winked before leading her to the kitchen.
'What was that?' Jasper gasped.
'What?' I asked turning to face him, wanting anything other than having to watch Edward walk away with the girl who had just snubbed me.
'The wink!' Jasper snorted 'He totally winked at you. Christ, I hope he's not intending on taking that skank back to the apartment tonight, he'll
probably try to coax you into a threesome.'
'A threesome?'
He rolled his eyes 'Forget it!' He took a long pull of his beer still bristling with annoyance 'Maybe you should stay here tonight, the walls in that
apartment are pretty thin.'
'Jasper!' I gasped.
'I'm just saying.' He hissed 'But I mean it, I'll set up the spare room for you.'
'There's no need,' my voice was bitter now 'he already said he wouldn't bring any girls back to the apartment.' I drained the last of my wine. 'But
I'm not a child, Jazz, if he wants to have sex with women in his own room, then that's his business.'
His jaw dropped.
''This is a party guys!' Alice admonished joining us, she slid onto Jasper's lap and kissed his cheek 'You two look like you're at a funeral.'
Jasper's mouth snapped shut and he turned his attention to Alice and snaked a hand around her tiny waist 'The party's great, babe!'
I scanned the room, Jasper was right, the music was pumping now and it was filled with people dancing and mingling. Inevitably I found Edward
he was standing in the far corner of the room, leaning one hip against a sideboard, head bent and lips curved into a small smile as the blonde
shouted into his ear. He threw his head back and laughed heartily and my heart leapt at the sight, he really was beautiful when he smiled and I
admired his lovely white teeth and smooth moist lips.
Dragging my gaze away I looked around the rest of the room and realised I didn't know anyone else in the room. A loud burst of laughter drew my
attention to the group of men gathered to my right, Emmett was in the middle of them drinking from what looked like a clear vase while those around
him clapped their hands while chanting his name. He drained the glass alarmingly quickly and then tipped it upside down and planted it on top of
his head with a triumphant grin and a loud cheer from those gathered around him.
Behind them a couple were in the midst of a heavy make out session and I blushed when I realised I was staring at them and tore my gaze away.
Clutching my empty glass I slid off the stool, glancing at Jasper and Alice who were completely engrossed in each other, and went in search of a
refill.
A big beefy hand gripped my wrist startling me when I reached the center of the room 'Bella!'
My head snapped round to find Emmett grinning down at me and I was only slightly relieved, he was even more imposing this close up 'You
scared me.' I shouted above the din of the music.
He swayed slightly on his feet and then pulled me deeper into the crowd of girating bodies 'You've been stuck to that stool the whole night, it's
time to dance!' He bellowed and started bobbing comically in time with the music.
I stood staring at him chewing my lip, I was the world's worst dancer, I just couldn't do it without looking like a complete idiot, and he really wasn't
that much better. 'I can't dance.' I said leaning closer so he could hear me.
'Sure you can!' He laughed pulling me into his arms and twirling me round.
I clutched onto his powerful biceps in a desperate attempt to keep my balance but Emmett's hands were firmly encompassing my waist as he
moved me in time with the beat 'There you go,' he grinned 'you're totally dancing dude!'
I couldn't help but laugh then, even though I would normally be uncomfortable with the situation, maybe it was the effects of the wine but I was
actually enjoying myself. We 'danced' a while longer and then the music changed and he finally released me.
'I'm going to get a drink.' I said 'Thanks for the dance.'
'Anytime!' He boomed , his attention already caught by something else and he bustled his way through the crowd leaving me standing in his
wake.
I made my way through the crowd of dancers to the kitchen where I found the counters laden with bottles of all shapes and sizes. I twirled a few
round squinting at the labels and then finally settled on a bottle of red wine that had already been opened and poured some into my glass.
'Remind me not to take you dancing when we go on our first date.'
I jumped in fright at the sound of his voice and spilled some of the wine over the side of my glass. I hadn't heard him approach and his lips were
inches from my ear. 'Why?' I asked turning to face him.
He offered me a crooked grin 'Because you're not very good at it.'
I blushed 'You're such a charmer, now I can see why you're such a hit with the ladies.' I smiled sarcastically not offended at all by the truth of his
words. 'Maybe you should teach me how to dance.' I challenged.
His grin widened and I was aware that he was completely invading my personal space 'I'll add it to the list.'
I sipped my wine looking at him over the rim of my glass 'We have a list?'
'No,' he chuckled 'but maybe we should consider it, what with Poker, dating and now dancing.' He placed his hand on the counter beside me and
leaned forward effectively blocking me in.
'Maybe.' I said feeling like the room had suddenly got a whole lot hotter.
His eyes intensified and he stared at me for a long moment before speaking 'Are you enjoying yourself?'
'I don't really know anyone.' I admitted 'It's a good party but I'd much rather be at home.'
'Doing needlepoint.' He said and the grin was back.
'Yes!' I laughed. 'But don't tell Alice.'
The music changed again and Edward looked over his shoulder before pushing himself away from me 'I...um... I better get back to...'
'Your girlfriend.' I finished for him.
'She's not my girlfriend,' he said stiffly 'she's my date.' He quirked an eyebrow at me 'You're not jealous are you?'
I shook my head, maybe a little too violently 'No, not at all,' I sighed 'look, if you want to back out of the deal that's fine.'
His brow furrowed 'Do you want me to back out?'
'I guess since you have a girlfriend, you probably should.'
 He took a step closer and tilted my face up so I was looking directly into his eyes 'I already told you she's not my girlfriend.' He seemed almost
angry.
'But you slept with her.' I blurted out and instantly felt the embarrassment flush my face. His eyebrows shot up 'You didn't come home the first night
you went out with her.'
'So you deduced that I slept with her?'
'Didn't you?'
'Bella, what is it you want from me?' His eyes were hard and his lips had pursed into a thin line.
'I want what we agreed on, but I don't want to stand in the way of you having a proper relationship because you're fake dating me.'
He laughed but it was a harsh sound and entirely without mirth 'I can assure you Bella, you're not standing in the way of anything.'
'Well if you do start to get serious about someone, we'll stop, I know the script.'
He sighed and there was a harder edge to his voice when he said, 'I don't think you do.'
I watched his back as he walked away puzzled by his parting shot.
a/n I am toying with the idea of doing an EPOV what do you think? I like the sense of mystery with this Edward but it would be nice
to get a little bit of his POV. I'm not a big fan of doing the same chapter over from different viewpoints so it might be difficult to stick in
an EPOV. Anyway please let me know if you have any thoughts on that or anything else. Thanks for reading.
Chapter 7
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Patience is a virtue given to few! I'm not one of the few. I just can't wait any longer to put this chapter out there.
This is the 'date'. I kind of like it but I really, really hope the people reading this will like it too.
I'm sorry to harp on about reviews but it really does mean THAT much to me. I have over FORTY alerts now on this story so it
stands to reason I should get at LEAST forty reviews for this chapter.. Right? Okay maybe that's rather ambitious how about Twenty?
Right pleading over!
Thank you to you WONDERFUL people who are making my days brighter by sharing your thoughts, Karma has something nice
special in store for you!
Ooh and I saw the Eclipse trailer today, is it just me or did Jasper suddenly look very HOT! I think it might have influenced a future
chapter. ;o)
'C'mon Bella, I have a hot date tonight.' Edward yelled hammering on the bathroom door.
I smiled at his joke and sunk deeper into the fragrant bubbly water 'So have I!' I yelled back grinning wider.
I heard his footsteps retreat and sighed, it was his way of easing the tension but even though I felt the slight tingle of anticipation I was coiled like
a spring. This was our first 'date' he was taking me for pizza and then to see a romcom, of course even though I'd heard the term before I still asked
him to explain what it meant. A romantic comedy, the perfect first date film, according to Edward. I didn't dare think why.
I stepped out of the bath, wiped the condensation from the mirror and peered at my red face, I wished Alice was at my disposal. If ever there was
a time I needed her expert assistance this was it. I flipped the mirror away and yanked my robe from the back of the door and wrapped it around
myself before scurrying into my room.
I sat on the edge of my bed and tried to conjure up images of a real date, what would I wear, how would I prepare? I didn't have butterflies in my
stomach, it felt like a swarm of killer bees!
I sucked in a slow calming breath and took a few moments to visualise just how I would be feeling if this was real. For some inexplicable reason
my mind conjured up the image of Edward pressing his lips to mine that night I proposed this course of action. Oh yes! I would definitely want to be
kissed.
But what would I wear? What would I say? How much money should I take? Oh God, this was just a minefield of faux pas waiting to happen.
Since my wardrobe wasn't exactly the stuff of legend I ended up picking out the same floral dress I had worn on our non date to the college film
club. This time though, I dressed it up with a flamboyant purple necklace and earings that Alice had lent me and dainty shoes with a tiny heel. I even
pulled the small make up bag Alice had forced me to accept and peered into it, albeit with trepidation but with a little bit of resolve as well.
I blow dried my hair, applied moisturiser and then trying desperately to remember Alice's tuition gingerly applied some make up. I could hear
Edward moving around the apartment but I waited in my room uncertain as to whether I should just sit in the living room, but then trying to create the
ambiance of a real date I sat on my piano stool and nervously waited for him to make the first move.
He rapped softly on the door 'Will I go outside and ring the doorbell?' He called.
I wasn't sure if he was joking but I nervously opened my bedroom door and grimaced at him. 'That's not necessary.'
His brow furrowed.
'What?' I asked self consciously.
'Um.. the make up,' he said swirling a finger in the direction of my face 'you..um... you look better without it.'
I darted back to the mirror, my lips were perhaps a little too vivid and the eyeshadow not the right shade of purple to match the jewellery.
'Sorry,' He breathed and I started when I realised he was right behind me 'but I thought you might appreciate honesty.'
'Yes, of course,' I blurted pulling a wet wipe and rubbing it furiously across my face. 'The last thing I want to do is look like a clown.'
He chuckled taking the wipe from my hand 'Sit still!' he ordered and in my embarrassment I did.
He folded the wipe to the clean side and his fingers curved around my chin tilting my face upwards, he mopped gently over my eyelids, folded it,
smoothed it down my cheeks and then folding it again he brushed it softly across my lips as his eyes blazed and my cheeks burned.
He took a step back and appraised me 'Better.' He nodded.
 I turned the mirror around and studied my reflection 'Really?'
He loomed behind me in the reflection 'You have even creamy skin, impossibly dark eyes, naturally rosy lips, you don't need to enhance any of it.'
He straightened and his tone lightened 'Mother nature has you covered.'
I turned to face him and smiled 'I'll take your word for that, you're the expert after all.'
His eyes dimmed and then he glanced at his watch 'We should go, are you sure you don't want me to clamp a rose between my teeth and ring
the doorbell?'
'Don't be facetious!' I said following him out of my room.
Edward insisted on taking a cab rather than my truck, despite the fact that I offered to assuage his male pride by letting him drive. He leapt out of
the cab and before my hand reached the handle he had swung the door open and proffered his hand to help me out.
I revelled in the reminiscent gesture, allowing myself to imagine that it was Mr Darcy holding his hand out to me.
The way he kept a hold of my hand as he led me to the restaurant thrilled me, it made me feel like I was on a real date and I almost told him that
before I decided it might be best just to role play for the evening.
I had expected him to take me to one of the high street pizzeria's but I was pleasantly surprised by the authentic Trattoria we entered. There was
a waitress, I'm pretty sure of that and I think she may have flirted with Edward but all I could concentrate on was the delicious warmth of his hand
enveloping mine and the thrill that I was enjoying my first ever date. Arrangement be damned, it felt good!
A menu was thrust in front of my face and then I noticed Edward's quizzical expression.
'Did you ask me something?' I blushed.
He jerked his head towards the waitress, I looked up at her and blanched at her severe scowl.
' What would you like to drink?' She hissed as if she'd asked ten times already.
'Sorry!' I gasped my eyes darted to Edward.
'Bring us a bottle of house red and two mineral waters.'
He sounded so assured I smiled gratefully.
He leaned forward 'Bella, you totally spazzed out there,' he smirked and opened my menu for me, laying it on the table 'Not cool, your first priority
is the waitress, listen to her recommendations, but remember, she is here to serve you, she gets paid, you don't owe her anything.'
I blushed 'Sorry.'
He sighed 'Stop apologising.' His eyes flashed angrily 'Any predator out there would be watching you right now and thinking he could get away
with pretty much anything, try to be a little more confident.'
My heart dropped into my stomach and I stood up, hating the familiar prickle of tears stinging my eyes 'This is a mistake!' I bit out.
His hand covered mine and stopped me 'Don't leave.' He beseeched.
It was so heartfelt and the lightness of his touch coupled with the calming depths of his eyes rendered me helpless and I fluttered back down to
my seat.
'You asked me to teach you,' He said circling my palm with his thumb 'that's all I'm doing.'
'I'm s..'
'Ah a-a-a' he admonished like he was talking to a child 'no more apologies, lets take it one step at a time. First is the food,' I gently nudged the
menu towards me 'Please don't order the salad, guys hate that!'
There was a twinkle in his eye that made me relax 'God no!' I said with only slightly forced brevity 'I have to have a mountain of spaghetti and
there must be olives!'
The waitress returned and Edward ordered a steak, the waitress didn't seem to be in any hurry to take my order since she was busy ogling
Edward and just as it started to feel awkward he smoothed his fingers across mine and said 'What would you like Bella?'
Her eyes flickered to mine with unmistakable annoyance but heeding his earlier instructions I took what I hoped was a surreptitious deep breath
and tilted my chin up. 'I'll have the Penne Arrabiatta, but can I have it with Spaghetti rather than Penne?'
She nodded curtly but her irritation at my request did not escape me.
After she'd gone Edward leaned back in his chair 'I'm proud of you.' He grinned eyes glittering.
'Why?' I asked confused.
 'You took a specific item from the menu and asked to have it modified?'
I crooked an eyebrow.
'Penne Arrabiatta!' He clarified 'You asked for it with spaghetti.'
'Spaghetti is the only type of pasta I like,' I said still confused 'other than lasagne, but that doesn't count.'
He chuckled 'Why, it's all the same thing?'
I sighed 'This is normally where the freak flag goes up.'
His hand darted to mine 'In your mind,' He insisted 'stop trying to read your dates mind, I find this very intriguing AND endearing, so again, why
spaghetti?'
I swallowed down my insecurity 'You can't twirl Penne around your fork.'
His eyes glittered with pleasure 'Why not tagliatelli?'
'Not the same.'
'What's the difference?'
I could see he genuinely was interested 'Spaghetti is round, it has a certain yield, firm, resistant,' I glanced at him 'strong. Tagliatelli is too flat,
sloppy, it doesn't twirl so easily, it doesn't yield the same way. It feels completely different on my tongue.'
He grinned 'So you like the control Spaghetti gives you?'
I laughed 'Perhaps you should take up psychiatry.'
'If everyone was as open as you, there would be no need for that.'
The waitress chose the perfect moment to bring our drinks, I lifted the water to my lips and took a long drink, Edward grinned knowingly, so for
good measure I filled our wine glasses and raised a toast.
'To first times!'

Edward raised his glass clinking it against mine 'To first dates!' he amended.
I managed to get through the meal without making any other stupid mistakes and the only slight stumbling block was when I had to practically
force Edward to let me pay half the bill. Feeling pleasantly full and feeling the warmth of the alcohol in my bloodstream I smiled as he took my hand
again once we were outside.
'I like that.' I sighed.
'What?' He asked, clearly puzzled.
'You holding my hand, it feels nice.'
He frowned 'I'm just trying to make this as real as possible for you, but you'll tell me if I do something you don't like?'
I couldn't imagine that at all but I nodded anyway.
I lost the argument over the cinema tickets and reluctantly let Edward buy mine but then I won a little battle of my own when I paid for the sodas.
'So you've never really been to the cinema much?' Edward asked as we made our way along the corridor.
I shook my head 'Charlie and Jasper used to try to talk me into coming but it never really interested me before. Even television didn't hold much
appeal, if Jazz was watching it I'd usually just curl up beside him and read.'
'Sounds very cosy.' Edward remarked.
'I guess it was.'
'Well I hope you enjoy the film tonight, it's the usual mind numbing trash that all the chicks dig.'
'Chicks?' I smirked.
He laughed 'Well they do call them chick flicks!'
The film didn't really hold my attention that well, a lot of it seemed a bit silly to be honest and my attention kept wandering to some of the other
couples dotted around the theatre. A couple in our row were holding hands while the girl in front of us was nestled in the crook of her boyfriends
arm. I stole a sideways glance at Edward his eyes were trained firmly on the screen while his hand was wrapped around his soda cup.
 My arm was stretched across the length of armrest palm up, I was sort of hoping he would take my hand or even slide his arm around my
shoulder but his hand stayed wrapped around that blasted cup.
The couple on screen finally managed to get it together but when they started kissing passionately I squirmed a little in my seat.
'Are you okay?'
His breath was warm against my ear and travelled down my neck making me squirm just a little bit more. I nodded my head vigorously but didn't
dare turn to look at him.
'If it's making you uncomfortable, we can leave.' He whispered.
I turned to look at him then and his face was mere centimetres from mine, my eyes zeroed in on his lips and to my surprise they curved up into a
broad grin. I looked up into his eyes.
'What are you grinning at?' I hissed.
'I just realised you are uncomfortable,' he said and unexpectedly his hand slid into mine and he brought it up to his lips 'but not for the reason I
thought.' He pressed his lips gently to the back of my hand and then let our hands drop to his lap.
He turned back to the screen while I fought to drag my attention away from the fact that our hands were resting on his thigh. I knew a part of him
was enjoying my discomfort but I couldn't be mad at him when he'd done so much for me already.
I stood on the sidewalk as he paid the cab driver, I was too tired to initiate yet another argument over money so I let him pay and waited patiently.
He turned to face me as the cab drove off, he looked so handsome beneath the orange glow of the street lamp.
'Okay,' he said coming to my side 'so this is the end of a first date and you've just stood there and let your date pay the cab and send it away.' I
looked at him puzzled 'Your date now thinks he's coming up to your apartment with you.' He elaborated.
'But you live here.' I pointed out, still puzzled.
He smiled 'For the purposes of the tutorial, what would you have done if this was a real date?'
'I would have thanked you and said goodnight.' I insisted 'In the cab.'
He took my hand again and I felt it was probably unnecessary since our 'date' was over. We climbed the stairs to the apartment and I removed
my hand from his to get my key from my purse. I pulled it out when we reached the door but before I could slide it into the lock his hand encircled my
wrist stopping me.
'I'm still your date,' he said, clearly back in tutorial mode 'we were only local, we didn't get a cab so I'm being the gentleman and walking you to
your door.'
'Edward don't be silly.' I laughed turning again to the door but he didn't let go.
'I'm being serious Bella, indulge me?' I nodded 'Right, so I've walked you to the door, I'm assuming since it's a first date you won't want me to
come in.' I shook my head 'Then don't get your key out till your date is at least half way downstairs, you can't be too careful.'
'So what do I do?' I asked feeling foolish but glad that he was taking the time to be thorough 'Do I just say goodnight and push you towards the
stairs.'
'Not yet.' He said and his voice was low 'You wait till after the kiss.'
'The kiss?' My mouth was dry.
His hand left my wrist and blazed a hot trail up my arm and curled deliciously around the base of my neck, he pulled me gently towards him and I
tilted my head up expectantly, my eyes fluttered closed. He paused but only briefly and then I felt the welcome heat of his lips on mine.
His other hand snaked around my waist and pulled me closer to his body and the kiss deepened. I slid both my arms up and around his neck
enjoying the slight hiss he made as he inhaled deeply and angled his head as his lips devoured mine. He didn't use his tongue this time but mine
was in no mood to behave and I gingerly touched it to his lower lip. He groaned and, encouraged, I probed further into his mouth.
His hand tightened on my neck and I pressed myself against him while a soft sigh escaped me. All at once his hands were on my arms and he
broke the kiss gently unwinding them from his neck.
He sighed heavily and I swallowed hard, surprised by the unexpected boldness of my actions.
'Did I do something wrong?' I asked quietly.
His breathing was slightly accelerated, he shook his head 'Not at all, but if you kiss like that on a first date you might not find it so easy to get rid
of him.'
I blushed furiously 'So what happens now?'
 'You say goodnight, firmly, and then when he walks away and starts heading downstairs you let yourself in and lock the door behind you.'
Once inside the apartment I headed straight for the kitchen 'Coffee?' I called over my shoulder.
'Sure.' He said sitting down on the sofa and untying his shoelaces.
I brought the coffee in and settled on the sofa beside him 'So how did I do?' I asked 'Do you think I'm ready to try it for real?'
'Why the rush, do you have someone in mind?' He blew on his coffee before taking a small sip his eyes stayed trained on the cup.
'I don't really get the opportunity to meet a lot of guys.'
'What about in your classes or at work?'
I thought about it for a moment 'There was one guy, Tyler, he asked me out a couple of months ago but since I said no he hasn't really spoken to
me since.'
'But you like him?'
I shook my head 'Not really.'
He smirked 'Well, until you meet someone who does float your boat then we'll continue with the tuition.'
I smiled 'You know, it's really great that you're doing this but I feel a bit guilty, there's nothing in it for you.'
He leaned forward resting his elbows on his knees and then looked back at me over his shoulder 'I had a good time tonight,' he said softly 'and
it's good to see you loosening up a bit, you're good company when you let your guard down.' He turned away, looking down to his hands and his
voice was muted when he continued ' I don't know why but for some reason I feel quite protective of you.'
I blushed 'Thanks.'
'No problem.' He said and then he stood up abruptly 'I'm going to bed. Goodnight.'
I lounged back on the sofa cradling my cup to my chest and grinned as I replayed the evening in my mind but all too soon I was squirming again
as I remembered the kiss. Heat crept up my cheeks as I recalled the shameless way I'd pressed against him, and oh God, had I really put my
tongue in his mouth? Guilt almost crippled me when I realised how much I'd enjoyed it when Edward was probably thinking I should be saving these
things for someone I was actually in love with.
I went to bed and lay there worrying about it, I definitely wanted to be able to be intimate and after tonight's little display I knew I could but would
Edward be willing to let me explore just how intimate I could get?
a/n Thanks for the responses to the EPOV thing, I think I might leave the mystery intact for now but I might indulge Edward later.
How was the first date? We know it could have been worse but could it have been better?
Chapter 8
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
First things first, I was only toying with the idea of doing a midweek post but since Boufant flattered me hugely today and asked
me so nicely, I've decided to do it. So here it is.
I'd also like to thank the following people who are totally making this whole experience fantastic for me by reviewing every chapter
Boufant, I Love Rob Always, Openlystained (whose stories are fab), Lethar 88,Yankee Diva, Sleep my Bella and Tinker03. (I hope I
haven't forgotten anyone). To take the time to review EVERY chapter means a lot to me.
To everyone else who has reviewed that thanks is also extended to you, there is NOTHING in the world as good as reading what
people think of your work. So please keep doing it.
Okay this chapter was originally two chapters but due the very nature of this story there will be enough frustration without me
adding unnecessary cliffies where I don't need to so I just lumped it all together. You can tell where the original split was I'm sure! But
you also get a nice long chapter.
Oh and lastly (sorry for going on) the EPOV thing! I'm thinking I'll just stick to BPOV for now, he's not TOO hard to work out and
this way at least it keeps him intriguing.
I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face, two reasons had put it there; My successful date last night with Edward and the fact that I had
a rare day off today. I could hear Edward moving around in the kitchen and since he was already up I supposed he wouldn't mind if I played a little
piano.
I got out of bed and sat on the stool, lifted the lid and with my hands poised over the keys closed my eyes before the song I wanted to play came
to me. Teaching me to play piano was the only gift my mother ever gave me, though at the time when she was knocking me off the stool for making
mistakes it didn't feel like it.
However, as the music coursed through me, I found it uplifting and the pride of having the ability to elicit such beautiful sounds out of an
instrument was something I would always cherish.
There was a soft rap on the door and I knew it was Edward 'Come in.' I called still playing.
The door swung open and he leaned against the frame watching me, I stopped and turned to look at him.
'Don't stop.' He smiled 'I just wanted to open the door so I could hear you better.'
There was a wistful look on his face and I remembered his melancholy the first time he had seen the piano. 'Have you ever played?' I asked
turning back to the keys and resuming the tune.
He stepped into the room and sat on the edge of my unmade bed 'When I was younger I..um.. my dad used to play.. he,' He was really
uncomfortable, I could hear it in his voice but I kept playing and hoped that he would continue 'One of my earliest memories is of my dad sitting me
on his lap at the piano, I think he might have been trying to teach me.'
'Didn't you ever consider taking lessons when you were growing up?' I stopped playing.
He shook his head 'No.' He said curtly and then stood up to leave.
'I'm sorry.' I said moving to his side 'I didn't mean to pry.'
'No it's not that,' he denied 'I have some stuff to do.'
And with that he walked out leaving me ruing my nosiness and his obvious discomfort at being drawn on the subject of his parents.
I took the opportunity to do some much needed cleaning in the apartment and then spent the afternoon reading in the Laundromat while I caught
up with the laundry as well. I couldn't really concentrate on the book because my mind kept drifting back to the previous night and I couldn't keep the
self satisfied smile off my face.
'What are you looking so pleased with yourself about?'
My head jerked to my left at the sound of Jasper's voice 'What are you doing here?' I squeaked.
He held a large blue holdall up 'Laundry, what else?'
'Of course,' I muttered feeling foolish 'I just didn't expect to see you here.'
I slid my bookmark into my book and dropped it into my bag, glad that I had some company to while away the boring afternoon with. I watched as
he loaded the contents of his bag into one of the machines, noting the mix of his clothes and Alice's.
'I hope you've checked the labels on Alice's stuff.' I remarked as he closed the door and switched the machine on.
 'Oh, don't worry about that, there's no way she was letting me anywhere near her laundry pile.' He grinned sitting beside me 'She packed the bag
and gave me strict instructions on what setting to use.' He dropped a kiss on the top of my head 'So you didn't answer my question.'
'What question?'
'When I came in you were grinning like the cat that got the cream, what's made you so happy?'
I daren't tell him the truth 'I was just enjoying my book.' I lied.
He leaned forward and regarded me suspiciously 'Are you actually attempting to lie to me?' He said feigning offence 'I know you better than you
think Swan, what's the deal?'
I didn't want Jasper jumping to the wrong conclusion about Edward and I and I got the feeling that he wasn't exactly Edward's number one fan, so
as much as I hated to do it I continued to lie. 'Jazz, I'm having a nice day off catching up with my laundry and enjoying one of my favourite books,
there really is no big deal.'
He settled back in his chair and stretched his legs out in front of him, the subject apparently dropped. We talked about the usual mundane stuff
for a while but just as I knew it would the subject eventually worked its way round to Edward.
'How's things going with Edward?'
I prayed that my cheeks wouldn't heat up and give me away 'It's actually going really well, I don't think we need to worry about finding a new
roommate.'
'Oh!' He sounded surprised.
'It's true,' I said fighting to keep my irritation out of my voice 'Alice was right, he really is serious about working hard. I hardly see him most nights,
he's always holed up in his room studying.'
'What about the weekends?'
'I don't keep tabs on him, Jazz.' I clicked my tongue.
'Does he come in drunk?' He asked 'Or bring girls back?'
I shook my head in reply to both questions, knowing Jasper, if I tried to speak up for Edward he would zero in on it and within minutes he would
get the whole story out of me. I didn't want him to find out about our little arrangement because he wouldn't approve and I knew he would warn
Edward off.
We settled into an amiable silence for a while then Jasper suddenly sat up straight 'I've been doing some thinking,' he said turning fully to face
me 'about that stuff you said about you wanting to change.'
'To change?'
He looked slightly abashed 'You know, you wanting to make more friends and loosen up a bit.'
'Oh that,' I said stifling a giggle having known all along what he'd been getting at. 'and?'
'Well, I know you don't like bars but Alice and I are going to this open mike thing tonight and we thought you might like to come.' He smiled 'We've
been a couple of times, it's not usually too busy and since Alice and I are there to look out for you, you'd maybe enjoy it.'
I was touched by his efforts even though his reference to looking out for me rankled a little, maybe it was ungrateful of me to feel that way, Jasper
had always looked out for me but this was something I needed to achieve alone.
'Thanks Jazz,' I said squeezing his knee 'but I have some college stuff to catch up on, maybe some other time.'
He smiled knowingly and I could guess that he was thinking I just wasn't ready for it, when the truth was I just wanted to catch Edward tonight so I
could ask him about our next date and maybe make amends for making him feel uncomfortable earlier.
As soon as my laundry was finished I promised Jasper I'd call him the next day and made my way home. When I got in I made some dinner for
myself, deciding against cooking for Edward in case I freaked him out again but by nine he still wasn't home. Biting the bullet and hoping I wasn't
too late I called Jasper and asked if it was too late to take him up on his offer.
'No you're in luck,' he said 'Alice is just getting ready so we'll swing by in half an hour and pick you up.'
I smiled but then it disappeared 'Jazz, what will I wear?'
He chuckled down the line 'Just jeans and a t shirt will be fine Bella, it's not a black tie do!'
I stuck my tongue out at the receiver even though he couldn't see me and then hung up before rushing to my room to change. I wondered if I
should wear make up and going against Edward's advice from last night I slicked a little gloss across my lips and used eyeliner and mascara but
didn't bother with shadow or blush.
 Exactly half an hour later as I was finishing up in the bathroom I heard the front door open and came out expecting to see Edward.
'You ready?' Jasper said surprising me, then I remembered he kept a spare key. 'Alice is waiting in the cab.'
The bar was all the way across town and I sat in the back wedged between Alice and Jasper hoping that I wouldn't feel like a fish out of water
once we arrived. Jasper paid the cab driver while Alice took my hand and led me to the door. Two intimidating doormen, muscular and bald and
resembling bookends, flanked the door and glared at us menacingly as we approached.
One of them shoved his beefy hand into my chest 'ID!' He hissed.
Despite my trembling hands I managed to fish my ID out of my bag and shoved it under his nose, he snorted contemptuously at me but stepped
aside to let us in.
'Don't worry about him.' Alice whispered in my ear as she swung the door open 'It's probably his time of the month.'
I giggled and felt Jasper come up behind us as I stepped inside. 'You okay.' He said squeezing my arm and I nodded.
Just as Jasper had said the bar wasn't too busy but a cloud of smoke hung in the air like a gossamer curtain, rendering the lights above the bar
and around the stage hazy. A woman was singing on the stage and out of the forty or fifty people present maybe only half a dozen of them were
actually paying any attention.
'What would you like to drink?' Jasper yelled a little too loudly and one of the men near the stage glanced back annoyance etched on his face.
'I'll have a beer.' Alice answered and then looked at me with enquiring eyes.
'Um.. do they sell wine here?' I asked gingerly 'I don't like beer.'
Jasper went to the bar while Alice led me to a table, I sat down resting my elbows on the table and looked around the room most of the tables
were occupied but the atmosphere was relaxed and jovial. Jasper brought the drinks to the table and handed me a glass of wine served in a high
ball glass.
'It's not the classiest joint.' He laughed as I grimaced at it.
It tasted very thin and vinegary but I didn't want to be a nuisance so took a sip and laid it on the table in front of me. Jasper threw his arm across
Alice's shoulder and we turned our attention to the stage. I marvelled at how talented the people were who were getting up to sing and how relaxed
they seemed to be doing it. I could never imagine having the courage to do such a thing.
After about an hour the door swung open again and I was vaguely aware of a group of people coming in but too engrossed in the music I didn't
pay any attention until I heard a familiar voice booming across the room.
'Hey it's Jasper and Alice!' I turned to see Emmett striding towards our table and was dismayed to see Rosalie and Lauren behind him. 'Hey you
guys, mind if we join you?' Emmett said already dragging another table over and jamming it against ours almost knocking the drinks clean off it.
'How's my little dancer?' he grinned and I couldn't help but grin back.
The two girls sat down at the table and barely acknowledged us.
'What are you drinking?' Emmett asked eyeing our glasses.
'Alice and I will have a beer,' Jasper answered amiably seemingly not bothered at all by the intrusion 'and Bella will have a red wine.'
'Do they sell wine in here?' Emmett grimaced, I held my glass up which to my surprise was almost empty. Emmett turned towards the bar
'Edward,' he roared and I was horrified to see Edward and a tall dark haired man standing at the bar 'Two more beers and a red wine.' Emmett
lowered his voice as if he was almost embarrassed to say the words red wine.
Emmett and Jasper set to work pulling over more chairs while Rosalie and Lauren waited a safe distance from the tables. My eyes were rooted
to Edward's back, I handed expected him to be here and sitting at the same table with him and his real date was my idea of hell. After a few
moments I realised the tall guy standing beside him was staring back at me and I dropped my eyes to the table in embarrassment.
Emmett sat down beside me and Alice scooted to the other side of me while Rosalie and Lauren sat at the other side of Emmett and Jasper
followed Alice. Edward and tall guy brought the drinks to the table and sat down.
Edward dished out the drinks and he quirked one eyebrow at me when he handed me my drink conveying that he was surprised to see me, I
raised both mine in reply letting him know that the surprise was mutual. Seemingly satisfied with our private wordless conversation he smiled.

He turned to tall guy 'This is Jacob Black.' Then he proceeded to introduce Jacob to Jasper, Alice and I.
Jacob flashed a bright grin that was almost blinding and shook all our hands before sitting down in the chair opposite mine. 'Good to meet you.'
He said still looking at me.
Edward sat down in the last chair beside Lauren and swigged on his beer. I was grateful that the bar was in the opposite direction and I had to
turn my back to Edward to face it. I tried my hardest to get back into the acts on stage but I was too aware of the couples surrounding me to feel
comfortable again.
 During a break from the acts a DJ played some music and Alice and Jasper got up to dance. I kept my eyes trained on them and was just
becoming conscious of the fact that I still had my back to the rest of the table when I felt a tap on my arm.
I turned to see Jacob looking intently at me 'Can I get you another drink Bella?'
I looked down at my glass to find it empty 'Um, I haven't bought any drinks yet.' I said.
He beamed at me 'It's my round but you can come to the bar with me and help me.'
He didn't wait for a response but stood up straight away and waited for me, feeling like I had no choice I stood up and followed him to the bar.
'So you're Edward's new roommate?' He asked after he'd ordered the drinks.
I nodded 'How do you know him?'
He laughed 'I met him here when we were both doing the open mike thing, he's way better than me on the guitar so we've had a couple of
jamming sessions.' He started putting the drinks on a tray 'I work at the hospital he'll be interning at.'
'Oh are you an intern too?' I asked.
He paid for the drinks before answering 'No, I'm just a porter.'
I got the impression he was slightly embarrassed by this as he immediately walked towards the table without saying anything further. Alice and
Jasper were now wrapped in each other's arms on the dance floor swaying to a romantic song. Jacob handed out the drinks and then surprised me
by sitting down beside me in what had been Alice's seat.
'So what do you do?' He asked leaning into me slightly.
I took the time to look at him, he was very handsome with smooth russet skin, silky black hair and big brown eyes that reminded me of a teddy
bear I'd had as a child. His lips were full and dark accentuating the impossible whiteness of his teeth.
'I'm doing an English degree.' I smiled 'I want to be a teacher.'
'Cool.' He nodded his head 'It's always good to have goals.'
There was a tinge of regret in his voice 'Don't you have goals?'
He laughed 'Sure, I want to own my own body repair shop one day, but for now I have to work at the hospital to pay the bills while I build up my
reputation.'
'So you do both?'
'Yep, I work on peoples cars from home between shifts at the hospital.'
I was impressed. We talked for a while longer until Jasper and Alice returned to the table. Jacob offered to give Alice her seat back but she
waived him away and sat down on the other side of Jasper. I leaned forward to ask Jasper if I should buy a round when I felt a warm hand on my
back.
'Jacob!'
I turned at the sound of Edwards voice and for a horrible second I thought it sounded like a reprimand.
'You're up.' Edward continued and the hand left my back as Jacob stood up and made his way to the stage.
I shot a glance to Edward but his eyes were following Jacob's journey.
I got up and rushed to the restroom feeling a little foolish for mistakenly thinking that Edward might be jealous. I avoided looking in the mirror
while I washed my hands and then made my way reluctantly to the door, all of a sudden regretting my decision to come out with Alice and Jasper.
I opened the door and almost jumped out of my skin when Edward loomed over me. I stepped out of the restroom and the door closed behind
me effectively pushing me against Edward, he gripped my arm and pulled me around the corner. He stood over me with one hand on the wall
beside my head.
'I didn't expect to see you here tonight.' He said quietly, his voice was velvet soft. 'I thought you didn't do bars.'
'I..um..I' I don't know why I was stammering 'Jasper and Alice invited me, If I'd known you were coming with a date I wouldn't have come.' I looked
up into his eyes 'I'm sorry.'
Annoyance flickered on his face 'I'm not with Lauren, I came with Jacob, we met Emmett and the girls outside, though I can guess they probably
knew we'd be here.'
'Oh.' I said, embarrassed yet again. 'Will you be singing?' I asked changing the subject.
He shook his head 'Not tonight.' He seemed distracted.
 I waited for him to say something else but he just stood there staring at me in a way that made me aware of the thudding of my heart beat. Not for
the first time that day my mind travelled back to our kiss last night and I found the urge to repeat it impossible to resist.
I turned my face and pressed my lips to his arm and inhaled the intoxicating scent of his warm skin, I almost melted to the floor with elation when
his fingers cupped my cheek and gently turned my face back to his.
'We are getting bold aren't we?' He grinned but his voice was gentle almost reverent.
I pulled his head towards mine and our lips met, it wasn't gentle like it had been last night, it was stronger, more urgent and entirely delicious. It
was like a frenzy had come over me and this time when I pressed my body against him he didn't restrain me, he embraced me and moulded me
perfectly to himself.
My mouth opened and I whimpered when his tongue plunged inside, God he tasted amazing! His tongue was like silk as it duelled with mine and
his hands encircled my waist crushing me against his chest. I felt like I wasn't anywhere near close enough to him yet I could find no way to get
closer. He pulled back and I dragged some much needed oxygen into my lungs before he grinned and his lips descended again.
This time he trailed hot wet kisses across my cheek to the delicate skin on my neck just below my ear 'Bella!' He rasped as his hands rubbed
warm circles into my back and my fingers delved into the wonderland of his soft bronze hair.
Desperate for his lips I turned into him again and lured his tongue into my mouth, his fingers dug into my sides and I felt a strange tingling all over
my body that seemed to pulse between my legs. As his hands brushed higher I felt a brief moments hesitation but the kiss was too delightful to
break.
'Bella!' This time it was Alice's voice and we jumped apart.
Her voice had come from around the corner and I knew she couldn't see us yet, without saying anything to Edward I hurried around to greet her.
'I'm here.' I said grateful that she hadn't come any closer or she would have spotted Edward.
'Are you okay?' She asked her eyes probing.
'I just needed some air.' I said and I cringed at the sound of guilt dripping from my voice.
'Bella, you shouldn't go outside alone.'
'I didn't, I was just standing at the door.' I lied.
'Jasper was worried about you.'
'It wouldn't be like him.' I said rolling my eyes good naturedly and she smiled.
Jacob had finished singing by the time we got back and I took my seat beside him but he didn't get a chance to talk to me again since Jasper
asked me a million questions about where I'd been and then Alice announced that we were leaving.
I wanted to stay behind and talk to Edward but since he hadn't come back to the table I had no choice but to leave with them.
I felt giddy by the time I reached the apartment and was planning on waiting up for Edward so we could continue our make out session. I hadn't
factored on the possibility that he would already be there when I arrived.
He was sitting on the sofa, elbows resting on his knees, hunched over and head bowed, my heart dropped like a stone in my chest. There was
the unmistakable air of regret surrounding him. Surely I was the one meant to be feeling that way yet for some reason all of this was coming easier
to me than I'd thought.
I should have done this years ago and saved myself so much misery, if I'd known it was this easy to enjoy intimacy, as limited as it is, then I would
have let Mike kiss me on the one date I'd had in my life.
He looked up at me but his eyes were hooded not filled with regret as I had expected.
'Hi.' I said more glibly than I felt.
'Are you drunk?' He asked, it wasn't an accusation and there was no sign that I was being adjudged so, he was merely asking.
'I've had a couple of wines,' I grimaced at the thought of the sour vinegary liquid the bar had been passing off as wine 'maybe I'm a little tipsy,
why?' I walked slowly to the couch and grinned when the oddest thought occurred to me; I was moving slowly as if he was my prey and I was afraid
to scare him off.
'What are you grinning at?' he sounded cautiously amused.
'I like kissing you.' I blurted out and I had no idea where it came from as I hadn't been thinking that at all, well not at that moment.
'You certainly are tipsy.' He said as I sat down beside him.
For a long moment he didn't move then he sat further back in the seat, putting himself behind me. I turned to look at him 'Maybe we should
consider tonight our second date.' I said and my voice sounded weak almost a whisper.
 'Bella, it's the alcohol, you have to be aware of that, it makes you do things you wouldn't normally do.' He tried to smile but failed 'like kissing your
roommate in bars.'
'You were kissing yours.' I accused lightly.
'Touche.' This time he did manage to smile 'I'm supposed to be the...um.. teacher here, so I've got to be the responsible one and I have to protect
you' he chuckled 'from yourself.'
'So, are you drunk?' He shook his head 'then why did you kiss me back?'
The smile fell from his face and his eyes looked away, I instantly regretted asking 'Oh!' I muttered. 'A pity response.' Embarrassment heated my
cheeks.
He scooted forward 'You only kissed me because you were drunk, I shouldn't have allowed it to happen.'
'That's not true.' I said bitterly 'I've been thinking about that last night's kiss all day, even when I wasn't drunk and I couldn't wait to do it again?'
'Really?' His brows shot up in surprise.
'Yes!' I insisted 'you must remember what it was like when it was all new to you, it's wonderful. I never realised it would be this easy to actually
enjoy that kind of thing,' I raked my fingers through my hair lost in my musings and perhaps not entirely aware that I was spewing the inner workings
of my mind out loud 'If I'd known I'd have let Mike Newton kiss me all those years ago, God I've deprived myself of this for two long!'
His mouth was slightly open, his eyes confused but hard. 'So you think you're ready to unleash yourself on the male population of Seattle?'
I shook my head 'No! I just know that I can do this now and I want to explore it a little further.'
His eyes bugged 'Further?'
I slid towards him on the sofa 'I hate to sound like an inexperienced sixteen year old, but really that is my level,' I was trying to keep my tone light
despite the tingling sensation revving up within me 'but can't we just treat this as our second date and make out some more without over analysing
it?'
He blew out a harsh doubtful breath but undeterred I placed my hand gingerly on his wrist and pulled his arm up so I could snuggle into his side.
He seemed frozen for a few beats but then his hand squeezed my shoulder and I knew I was winning.
'Kiss me.' I whispered turning my face to his and he complied.
My heart burst into flames of desire as soon as his lips claimed mine and I was sucked into that bubble that included only us and nothing else. He
kissed me long and hard his tongue tracing mine his teeth occasionally nibbling my bottom lip but before long the uncomfortable position caused
me to wince as my neck started to hurt.
'Are you okay?' He breathed pulling away.
'Yes,' I said my breath coming out in little gasps 'I'm just not very comfortable.'
His hands smoothed down my thighs and around behind my knees, I swallowed hard as he pulled my legs up and stretched them out on the sofa
before he lay down and pulled me to his side. Now we were lying on our sides facing each other.
'Better?' He asked and I nodded before attacking his mouth again.
Before long I was on my back with Edward looming over me planting exquisite kisses on my face and neck, I'd never felt anything as thrilling as
this in my life. My heart was hammering in my chest, my breathing was laboured, my skin was practically crackling with electricity and still that same
throb between my legs. I wanted more.
'Edward?' I gasped between kisses.
'Hmm?' He answered his mouth still nibbling around the shell of my ear.
'What's the next..um..stage?'
His head shot up and his eyes searched mine 'What?'
'I..um.. I never really understood what first and second base meant..'
His eyes softened 'I think we're definitely hitting second base territory here.'
I smiled 'Then don't stop.'
He frowned at me 'I need to and you need to tell me when.'
His kiss was the most gentle he'd given me all night but before long the heat enveloped us again, one of his legs covered both mine and the heat
of his hand permeated my shirt as it slid out from underneath me and rested on my abdomen.
 His lips nibbled along my jaw line and up to my ear 'Do you want me to touch you Bella?' He breathed and his breath against my ear and neck
made my eyes roll. I swallowed hard and nodded 'Stop me if you need to.'
His mouth covered mine and my hands gripped his hair as I kissed him as hard as I could, he gasped and his hand stilled on my abdomen but I
kept going and finally it began to move. Achingly slowly he brushed his fingers over my shirt in upward circles that gradually travelled up my torso, by
the time they reached the underside of my breast I was practically sucking on his tongue and vaguely frightened that I might bite it.
One finger traced a tiny pattern on the curve of my breast and I pulled his hair as a tremor of guilt or shame or perhaps every negative emotion
there is hardened like a tiny icicle stabbing at my heart. He winced but thankfully he didn't seem to realise why I had pulled his hair.
I concentrated on his lips on mine, our tongues duelling, the wonderful feel of his bodyheat surrounding me and within seconds the icicle melted
and I was able to enjoy the feeling of that one finger. Then it was joined by the rest and they fluttered gently over me.
'Is this okay?' He whispered.
'God yes!' I sighed and arched myself into his eager palm gasping as he squeezed gently.
The heat of his hand as he squeezed was the sweetest torture I'd ever known and my head lolled back as his lips and tongue lapped at my neck
and my nipple hardened in his hand. I shifted and felt something hard dig into my hip and Edward groaned loudly.
And then as if the energy supply had been cut off he sat up abruptly and raked his hands down his face 'Okay, well that's second base, definitely
second base.' His voice was a little shaky and his mood not as light as he would have me believe. 'Lesson over.'
I felt bereft as I sat up and faced him, I reached for him but he slid out of my grasp and perched on the edge of the seat. He turned to face me and
was gratified to note that his eyes were still burning 'Baby steps.' He said and despite my disappointment I nodded. He stood up. 'I'm going to take
a shower, you should go to bed its late.'
a/n Okay, I have a LOT of alerts and favourites for this story already so thanks to all of you but I just wonder what is stopping most
of you from reviewing :o( Anyhoo, what do you think of the introduction of Jacob to the story? Also how do you like Bella now? is
she loosening up too fast? Is Edward being too cautious or not cautious enough? I'd love to know your opinions on this and
anything else.
Thanks for reading.
Chapter 9
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Thanks for all the reviews, you really have no idea how it feels to get one! I read them over and over! There is no feeling like it,
except perhaps a bit of what Bella's getting maybe! ;o)
Thanks for adding this to your alerts and favourites too.
I hope you like this chapter.
I was rudely awakened by the piercing scream of the telephone, I lay for a couple of rings hoping Edward would get it but eventually gave up and
rushed out of bed to answer it.
'Hello?' I croaked
'Bella, it's Alice.'
'Hi Alice,' I said checking my watch, it wasn't yet six 'Is that the right time?' I gasped aloud.
'Bella, Jasper has had some bad news,' her voice was weak but controlled 'can you come over?'
'Of course. What's happened?'
'It's Jasper's mom, she...' She stalled and a sick feeling flared in my stomach 'she was killed in a car accident last night, I'm sorry Bella, but
Jasper really needs you.'
'I'll be right there.'
I rushed back to my room and buzzed around it throwing essentials into my overnight bag, I knew we'd be heading straight for Forks.
'Is everything okay?'
I turned to find Edward, bleary eyed in the doorway 'No.' I shook my head 'Jasper's mom has...' I couldn't get the word out, it was as though the
news had only just sunk in and a sob almost choked me as I dropped down heavily onto my bed.
He was beside me immediately 'Is there anything I can do?'
I shook my head 'I need to go, Jasper needs me.' I stood up and headed for the door but his hand clutched my forearm.
'You might want to get dressed first.' He said gently.
I got out of the truck and raced to their apartment, Alice already had the door open when I got there.
'Where is he?' I asked rushing past her.
I found him in the living room, he stood up when he heard my voice and I launched myself into his arms. 'I'm so sorry Jazz!' I sobbed and he
gripped me so tight I could hardly breathe.
'I can't believe it Bella,' he cried 'I can't.'
We cried in each other's arms but eventually practicality seeped into me 'Jazz,' I said gently my face still buried in his chest 'I'll take you home.'
Within a few hours we were driving through the familiar wet streets of Forks, Jasper had hardly said a word for the entire journey but his hand had
stayed firmly clamped to my knee. I was his security blanket for the duration.
Even though we hadn't arrived at Jasper's house yet, seeing these streets seemed to hammer the point home that something fundamental had
been changed here. The streets seemed a little lonelier, the air heavy with the sense of loss, she was gone, her footfalls would never be heard on
these sidewalks again. Her smile wouldn't light up any of these rooms, her laughter would never ring the ears of this town again and driving through
this familiar place it suddenly seemed so strange.
Charles Whitlock was a proud man, ex army, he'd shown little affection to Jasper but though he'd been a strict disciplinarian, he had always been
fair and had allowed his wife to shape their son's personality. He stood stoic on the porch watching as I parked the truck in Charlie's drive right
beside his. Jasper offered me a weak smile of thanks before dragging his bag out with him.
I got out too and rushed to his side, I glanced at the house and saw Charlie wave from the window, I dipped my head and then jerked my thumb
at Jasper. He nodded to let me know he knew what I meant and I turned and walked with Jasper to greet his father.
'Jasper.' Charles said stiffly, he looked a lot like Jasper only harder around the edges and with an air of dignity that few men held. His once
blonde hair was white and, as always, neatly cropped. The only hint that there was something wrong was the telltale stubble on his chin and the red
rim around his eyes.
 'Dad.' Jasper responded in similar fashion.
I hesitated at Jasper's side 'We got here as soon as we could.'
'I appreciate that Bella,' Charles said quietly 'It's nice to see you again, though I wish it could be in better circumstances.'
Tears sprung to my eyes and I nodded embarrassed that I should show emotion when he did not. He clapped a hand over my shoulder as I
reached his side and then opened the door to lead me into the house. Once inside I headed straight for the living room while I heard Jasper and his
father's hushed tones behind me as they greeted one another.
There were already family members in the house and I dipped my head in acknowledgement but did not smile as I entered the living room. I
noticed a pot of coffee and a tray of sandwiches sitting untouched on the table in the centre of the room. The curtains were still drawn.
Jasper came in and hugged his aunts and shook the hands of his uncles who all offered him the same apology. Before long more people begun
to arrive and Jasper and I seemed to have melted into the wallpaper as they talked about the accident in hushed tones.
Marjorie Whitlock had been driving home from her sister's house last night when she happened upon two young boys racing each other along the
mile stretch of road that led into forks, since they were occupying both lanes, there was nowhere for Marjorie to go and she smashed head on into
one of the cars. It was a small mercy that she was killed instantly. The two boys survived, one still in hospital with various broken bones and non life
threatening injuries, the other was discharged right away after being treated for cuts and bruises.
Jasper led me out into the hallway obviously unable to listen to any more gnashing of teeth. 'You should go and see Charlie, he'll be desperate to
see you.' His lip trembled as he spoke 'I'm just gonna check on my dad.'
Charles had disappeared out into the garden with his pipe.
'I'll come back over later.' I promised.
'Can you stay over?' He asked hopefully.
'Of course.' I nodded and then let myself out.
Once outside I dragged in a lungful of the moist Forks air, there was the unmistakable tang of moss in the air coupled with the musty smell of
damp newly cut grass. This had been my home, my sanctuary for eight years before I moved to Seattle with Jasper.
Charlie was sitting at the table cleaning his gun when I got in and I dropped my bag on the floor and flew into his arms. 'It's so good to see you
dad.'
He squeezed hard and when I attempted to pull away he held me a beat longer before releasing me 'It's such a shame about Marjorie.' He
sighed and I noticed the grey tinge to his skin together with his deep set frown.
'You were there?' I gasped.
'Jim and I were first on the scene.' He nodded sadly.
'Oh dad!' I sobbed 'It's so horrible, I can't believe she's gone, poor Jasper.'
'Poor Charles.' He said.
I cooked dinner for us and we managed to have a semi normal conversation about my new life in Seattle and his lonely one here. I didn't fail to
notice that Sue Clearwater's name came up quite a few times and every time it did his eyes lit up. I was thrilled, I didn't know the exact status of their
relationship but it was plain to see that he was fond of her and she was putting a smile on his face.
After dinner I asked Charlie, out of respect, if I could go back to Jasper's. He agreed, even when I added that I wouldn't be home till morning.
Charles informed me that Jasper was cleaning out the treehouse and since the house was extremely busy with a horrible sense of tension
hanging in the air I was glad of the chance to find Jasper alone.
I stood at the bottom of the tree listening to him thumping around above me, I touched the first rung of the ladder, which had been fashioned out
of broken tree limbs and nailed to the bark, and closed my eyes. I could almost be thirteen years old again and climbing this ladder for the very first
time.
'We should really repaint this thing.' Jasper said dejectedly as I poked my head in through the opening in the floor. 'It'll rot if we don't.'
I looked around and saw what he meant, where the walls had been smooth and sound they were now rough and broken, the window was cracked
and the floor covered with damp leaves and a small mound of moss in one corner.
I pulled myself inside and knowing that he needed to be busy helped him clear out the mess. It didn't take long and we sat back surveying the
dilapidated yet clean interior.
'Can you remember the grand opening ceremony?' He asked opening a large bag that had been sitting in the corner.
I nodded 'It was like all our Christmases wrapped into one.'
 'I still can't believe she agreed to let us spend the night here.' There was a slight catch in his voice but he busied himself pulling the contents out
of the bag. 'Even though we only lasted less than an hour.'
I smiled at the memory but hid my surprise when he pulled out a camping mattress and several sleeping bags and pillows. he set to work inflating
the mattress with a foot pump.
'I loved this place.' He reminisced 'It was our little sanctuary from the world.'
'Maybe it was more mine than yours,' I smiled 'you always did manage better than I did in the real world.'
He unzipped two of the sleeping bags and laid them across the mattress before zipping two more together and spreading them out as a
makeshift quilt and then covered it with two duvets. He shot me a questioning look before scooting beneath the covers.
Without hesitation I joined him and sighed as he pulled me to his side, wrapping his arms around me and pressing a soft kiss into my hair. 'You
gave me purpose, Bella,' he whispered 'I always felt I meant something to you, you know? It was like with you I had a reason for being, I felt worthy, I
would do anything to make you smile.'
I smiled 'I know, and you did it so easily.'
He squeezed me tighter and I lay on my side draping my arm across his chest as I listened to his heart beat.
'She always hoped we'd fall in love and you would be the daughter she never had.' He mused, rubbing my shoulder distractedly. 'She would have
loved that.'
'She would have loved Alice.' I said gently.
A sob bubbled in his chest as he gripped me tighter 'She'll never know her now.'

I pulled him down, he curled against my chest and I held him as he sobbed, pain burning in my own throat but this was his pain and I had to
absorb it. Eventually his tears subsided and his breathing slowed to a steady rhythm that told me he had fallen asleep. It wasn't long before I joined
him.
It was dark and cold when I woke up, I knew instantly that he was awake because he was shivering too. I curled my arms and legs around him
and pulled him closer. 'I forgot how cold it gets out here.' I hissed.
'I'm sorry for falling asleep on you.' He whispered.
I kissed his head 'Don't be, I'm glad you did, you needed it.'
'It feels so strange,' he mused 'I feel like we're teenagers again.'
I could hear the sadness in his voice, he wished she was still here, but I knew he didn't want to talk about her again yet. 'Remember the first time
we fell asleep in here?' I smiled.
He snuggled up my body until his face was beside mine, he was smiling 'Charlie brought his gun.' He grinned.
I laughed 'The night of the wedding.'
'I was a hormonal teenager, I don't blame him.'
I snorted cynically 'If only he'd known, it was you who was protecting my virtue that night despite my efforts.'
All at once there was a shift in the ambiance 'Do you ever wonder what would have happened if I'd indulged you?' he asked.
If he'd asked me that a couple of months ago I would have said no, because I'd always assumed that refusing me was the right thing to do. I'd
trusted his judgement implicitly but I was a different person now.
Truth be told now more than ever I regretted my blind acceptance of his refusal, maybe if I'd forced the issue a little, I could have learned
something from Jasper that I was now learning from Edward and I wouldn't have been frozen for all these years. I could have been out there finding
my soul mate just as Jasper had done. Best friends is all we were ever meant to be but it might have been nice to have Jasper help me the way
Edward is.
Of course I could say nothing of this to him.
'It all worked out in the end, Jazz,' I sighed, hearing the resignation in my voice, 'you found your soul mate and she accepts us for what we are;
best friends.'
I felt his smile against my cheek 'She's the most self assured person I've ever met.'
'She's perfect for you.' I agreed.
'What about you though?' He asked 'I really wish you could find someone.'
 'I'm working on it.' I said before I could control my tongue
His head jerked upwards and he was hovering above me 'What?'
I forced a smile 'I just mean, that's what me coming to bars with you and Alice is all about, I'm trying to broaden my horizons and maybe one day,
I'll be...' I rooted around for the right word and ended up settling for humour 'normalized.'
He settled back down beside me 'You're never going to let me forget that are you?'
'Not in this lifetime.'
'Seriously though Bella, are you sure your okay living with Edward?'
'Don't you trust Alice's judgement?' I countered. 'He's really a hard working guy, he doesn't bring girls back, in fact he's a lot like you.'
'Maybe now, but his true colours will show soon enough.'
It was my turn to prop myself up and look down on him 'What are you getting at Jazz.'
'Let's not argue tonight,' he sighed his tone apologetic 'not about Edward Cullen.'
Out of respect I let it drop but I didn't like it one bit, I was sure I'd seen what Alice knew about Edward, that he was kind and loyal and giving.
Jasper just wasn't willing to see it too.
We lay in silence for a long while and my thoughts drifted back to Marjorie Whitlock, my Forks mother. Of course I'd known that she hadn't really
hoped Jasper and I would get together, she was intensely proud of the way her son had patched me up and made me almost fit for the outside
world. But I also knew deep down that she worried that I would be too much work for him and that he would miss out on the chance to find happiness
on a less dependent level.
She was right of course, he'd found what he needed and it wasn't me.
'I love you.' He whispered snuggling closer and I couldn't hold back my tears for all that he'd lost today for, albeit on a lesser scale, I had lost it too.
'I love you too.'
Alice arrived two days later in time for the funeral which was an excruciating but cathartic affair. The three of us stayed in Forks for the rest of the
week and two days before we were due to drive home the three of us were huddled together in the tree house.
'Who wants to go see a movie?' I suggested finally fed up of lying awkwardly between the two lovers.
Jasper sat up and looked down at me 'You hate the cinema!'
'No I don't,' I protested 'I've just never...um.. took the time to ..'
'Enjoy it?' Alice asked.
I nodded grateful for her interruption but then I stupidly mentioned enjoying the romcom I'd gone to see with Edward.
'Who did you see that with?' Jasper asked.
I sat up and sighed avoiding his eyes 'I...um.. I went with a friend from work.'
His eyes narrowed and I could tell he knew I was lying 'You went on a date!' He gasped but the tone of his voice was reverent not bitter.
I tried to deny it.
His eyes widened as if he'd just had an epiphany 'Did you go out with that Jacob dude?' He turned to Alice 'I told you there was definitely
chemistry there.'
Alice nodded but it held an air of appeasement rather than agreement.
Knowing Jasper didn't know Jacob any better than I did I reluctantly lied 'Yes, I went on a date with Jacob.'
'You never told me.' Jasper said 'Was it okay, did he treat you okay?'
'Jasper, you have to trust Bella's judgement, she's not a child.' Alice scolded 'Does she look like someone who has been mistreated?'
He regarded me for a moment then shook his head 'I guess it's just hard to switch it off, I just need to know that you're okay.'
I took his hand and squeezed it 'I am.' I insisted, then turned to Alice 'Are we going to a movie or what?'
I spent my last day in Forks with Charlie, while Jasper took Alice on a tour of our old haunts.
'It's good to have you back Bells,' Charlie said finishing up the last of the meal I'd cooked for him 'I worry about you living in the city.'
 'I know you do, but Jasper's there with me.'
He pushed his empty plate away and sat back in his chair 'You seem different,' he observed 'not in a bad way, I mean, you seem,' he sighed 'a
little more confident, it suits you.'
I blushed 'I guess I'm just growing up dad.'
'I guess.'
Sue came over later and joined us and though the evening was a little awkward to start with I relaxed and enjoyed seeing my dad happy with
someone. I retired to bed early to give them some time alone and lay awake for a couple of ours looking at my room and thinking about how much
I'd changed since the last time I'd slept in it.
It was late afternoon on a Thursday when I arrived home, the apartment was empty and I simply emptied my bag on my bed, sorted my laundry
and headed out to the Laundromat.
When I arrived home just after six Edward was stretched out on the sofa watching the news.
'Hey.' He said turning to face me but not getting up 'How was Forks?'
'Good.' I said 'And Sad.'
'How's Jasper?'
'Struggling, but he has Alice.' I said dumping my heavy laundry bag and kicking it into my room.
'And how are you?' He asked as I plopped down on the sofa beside him.
Without thinking I lifted his arm and pulled it around me resting my head on his shoulder. It was the kind of thing I would normally do with Jasper
but all too late I realised he wasn't Jasper.
'Um..what are you doing?'
I sat up again 'Sorry, I guess after spending a few days with Jasper, I just forgot myself.'
'So this is how you are with Jasper?' He asked still not moving.
'Yeah,' I said turning to look down at him 'though not so much now that he's with Alice, I just need a hug sometimes.'
He opened his arm again and I resumed my position sighing with contentment. We lay like that for a few moments and it felt like the most natural
thing in the world for me slide my hand across his abs and nuzzle his neck. He never moved as my knee rested on his thigh and I breathed in the
wonderful musky scent of him.
'Is this how you are with Jasper?' His words came out on a long hiss and I immediately pulled back to see a brief flicker of uncertainty in his eyes.
'No.' I whispered 'Never.'
He closed his eyes and sighed 'The lines are getting blurred.'
'What do you mean?' I asked propping myself up on my elbow.
'Define our deal.' He said without opening his eyes.
'Um... you are..um.. showing me how to date and how to..' my cheeks burned.
'Yeah, I'm supposed to be showing you how to date and how to relax and enjoy yourself when you like somebody. But what is this?' He touched
my hand where it was wrapped tightly around his waist 'and this?' he touched the knee I had straddled across his lap.
'I like being close to you.' I breathed, now it was my turn to look away 'I've never been like this with anyone and I like it.' I took the chance of laying
my head back on his shoulder, he didn't stop me 'It scares me sometimes but you make me feel like it's not wrong.'
'It isn't wrong Bella,' he sighed 'but you should be doing these things with someone you have feelings for.'
'I have feelings for you,' I said in all innocence but I felt him stiffen 'I just mean that I like you, Edward, I feel comfortable around you and I want to
explore this with you. Maybe we should move the goalposts a little.'
He rolled us then until he was looming over me one eyebrow quirked in apparent amusement 'I think that's what you've been doing all along.' He
brushed his fingers gently through my hair smoothing it away from my face 'I don't know Bella, you have nothing to compare this to, you haven't even
been on a real date yet.'
I reached a hand up and touched his face 'What's the point though, if I can't let myself go, I don't want to ruin it for myself before I've had a chance
to find out what it's like to be..um.. intimate with someone.' My eyes probed his 'What If I do date someone and it's a disaster it would set me back
again!'
 He surprised me by chuckling and dropping a quick kiss to the tip of my nose 'Do I get any say in the deal?'
'Of course!' I smiled happy that the mood was lightening.
He sat up abruptly and pulled me up so I was facing him 'Are you sure this is what you really want?' He traced his finger down my face onto my
neck and across my collar bone 'You want me to be the first man to touch you,' he moved slightly closer and I felt his breath fan my face 'even though
we're not in a relationship, you want me to show you what it can be like?'
I nodded, my throat was dry and my heart was leaping in my chest as he moved forward again and brushed his lips against my cheek.
'Do you want to feel my body against yours?'
I seemed to have lost the ability to form words and simply made a strange noise instead as I nodded.
'Do you want me to make love to you?' He whispered in my ear.
I closed my eyes and whimpered my whole body seemed to be throbbing with pleasure and aching at the same time 'Yes.' I whispered.
He rocked back and when my eyes popped open I was surprised to see his were dark and accusing 'How can you possibly know that?' He said,
all traces of seduction gone from his voice 'Not so long ago you were saving yourself for marriage, you've never had a boyfriend and you're just
going to give it up, like that!' He snapped his fingers.
'I didn't think you meant today!' I huffed, my anger at him outweighing my embarrassment with myself 'I just meant eventually.'
'I doubt we'll have to go that far,' he rubbed his temple with one long finger 'you seem to have no problems at all with intimacy.'
'We haven't done anything yet!' I argued.
He sighed 'Okay, we'll take it one step at a time but there are some ground rules,' I nodded eagerly 'Rule one, you have to go on a real date with
someone else.'
'Why?' I balked at the idea.
'So you can experience a real date.' He said his eyes sparkling with amusement.
'What's the next rule?'
'If you meet someone you like, you have to tell me and we'll stop, I'm not into fooling around with another guy's girl, okay?'
'What about your dates?'
'I won't be dating anyone.'
I frowned 'How is that fair? if I'm dating someone then you should be free to do it too.'
He quirked an eyebrow 'It wouldn't bother you?'
It bothered the hell out of me 'Maybe a little bit.'
He smiled 'It's different for me, I already know myself, I can wait till this is over. You are trying to find love so you have to date. So like I said, if you
go out on a date and like the guy and want to go on a second date with him, then this stops, he can be your guinea pig, you won't need me
anymore.'
His words made sense and so I relented with a nod.
'Rule three,' he continued and now he pulled me to him 'You have to be vocal about this, I need you to tell me what you like and you need to tell
me to stop if I do something that makes you feel uncomfortable, okay?'
'Okay.' I breathed 'Won't it get frustrating for you?'
He chuckled as his lips teased my earlobe 'Remember that little make out session we had?' I nodded 'I'm no virgin, you know that, but that was
the hottest experience I've had in years so don't worry about me.'
His lips covered mine and I sagged back on the sofa bringing him down with me, instead of lying directly on top of me he pushed me to the back
of the sofa and lay at my side only partially covering me. His fingers were in my hair as he devoured my mouth drawing soft mewling noises from me
as his tongue swirled within it.
He planted a soft kiss on my forehead 'I like that' I offered still gasping slightly.
I felt his smile 'Good.' He breathed and did it again. His hand left my hair and fluttered down to my collarbone where his fingers scorched a path
across my eager skin.
'I liked it when you touched me last time.' I forced out on a strangled groan.
 There was a sharp knock on the door and Edward jumped to his feet so fast I was left lying there still panting for him. To my horror I heard the
door opening. Edward looked down at me.
'Roll over, pretend you are asleep.' He hissed and I did as he said as he scooted to the kitchen.'
'Bella?' Jasper's voice echoed down the hallway and I heard his footsteps approach.
I heard Edward walk past me 'She's sleeping,' he whispered 'she was there when I got in.'
'Oh, right.' Jasper said more quietly 'She sleeps like a log, so I won't try to wake her.'
'Do you want a coffee or something?' Edward asked.
'I just popped in to give her this.' Jasper said 'My dad didn't have a chance to give it to her before she left.'
There was a silence and I wondered what it was they were looking at.
'It's just a couple of things of mom's he wants her to have. I'll just leave them here.'
My heart ached and I was desperate to turn round and tell him I was awake, but if I did it would open a can of worms.
'Maybe you should hold onto them and give her them yourself.' Edward suggested.
'Yeah.' Jasper agreed 'I better get going, tell her I stopped by.'
'I will.'
I heard them walk to the door and then Jasper spoke again 'Hey, how well do you know that Jacob guy?'
'Pretty well, he's a decent guy.'
'Did you know Bella's dating him?'
'What?..Um.. no!' Edward answered and I wondered if Jasper could hear his surprise as clearly as I could.
'Yeah, she told me when we were in Forks that he took her to the movies.'
'Jacob's cool,' Edward said evenly 'he won't mess her around.'
'I can't say I like the idea, I worry about her, she's..um.. well you know how she is.'
'I do.' He said 'But you don't have to worry, she's more than capable of handling herself, besides she has you looking out for her and I'm here if
she needs me.'
Jasper laughed 'Well, let's hope it doesn't come to that.'
And with that he left and the door closed just a little too hard behind him.
I sat up as Edward stalked back into the room. 'Why did I have to pretend to be asleep?' I asked getting up.
'Because your face is all flushed and your hair looks like someone's been running their fingers through it!' He said pointing at my hair, his tone
was severe but I could tell he was still bristling at Jasper and not me. 'Why did you tell him you were dating Jacob?'
'I let it slip about the film we went to see and he asked me who I went with.'
'And Jacob sprung to mind?'
'No, he assumed it was Jacob, he said something about chemistry between us, so rather than tell him the truth and have him sticking his nose in I
lied.'
Edward looked thoughtful 'Do you like Jacob?'
I was puzzled by the question and was apprehensive of the calculating look in his eye 'He was okay, why?'
'He's been asking about you since that night in the bar, he asked me to set him up with you.'
'Oh!' I gasped 'Why didn't you tell me this before.'
'I was going to, I guess I got a little side tracked.'
I blushed.
'I think it's perfect.' He said and his enthusiasm disappointed me 'I meant what I said, Jake's a nice guy, you could do worse than go out on date
with him.'
 'I'm not ready.' I said sourly.
He sat down beside me and kissed my temple 'Sure you are!'
'Why are you so desperate for me to do this?'
'Because even though I've agreed to this, I don't want to take something from you that you could be giving to someone you love, and you won't be
able to do that unless you start dating.' He kissed me 'For real.'
'But in the meantime, we can keep up the tuition?' I said quirking an eyebrow in, what I hoped, was a suggestive manner.
In answer he pulled me into his arms.
a/n Originally there was no begging but now I have some questions. What did you think of the dynamic between Bella and Jasper
when they came together in grief, especially his belief that his mother wanted Bella as a daughter in law but Bella's realisation that
Marjorie felt she might be too much work for Jasper? Also, when she returned to Seattle she initially fell into a tactile relationship with
Edward, thinking she could just curl into his arms but only to find that she had an entirely different reaction to it than she would have
with Jasper? Did any of that come across at all? Did you pick up on Edward's uncertainty? Lol, can you remember how it feels to try
to read someone?
Chapter 10
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Man! I got some FANTASTIC reviews for the last chapter and PLENTY of food for thought. I'm sort of nervous about this chapter.
I'm updating today because I'm already working four chapters ahead and the reviews are really helping so I don't want to get too
far ahead because you guys are giving me plenty to think about and I really appreciate the honesty.
For a couple of days Edward didn't bring up Jacob's name again and I relaxed hoping that he wouldn't press the issue, I'd been telling the truth
when I said I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to risk things ending badly, at least with Edward it wasn't real it was merely an experiment and I knew what
to expect: that it would end but amicably.
On Tuesday I had lunch with Jasper at college, I wasn't surprised to see him back so soon, he had always been the type who liked to keep
himself busy in times of stress and we'd been on the phone constantly since getting back from Forks.
'How are you today?' I asked sliding into the chair beside him and squeezing his forearm.
'I'm okay.' He sighed smiling weakly at me 'Just keeping busy.'
'How's your dad?' I asked 'I was thinking of calling him tonight.'
Jasper sighed 'You know what he's like, he insists he's fine,' he rubbed his hand through his hair, clearly frustrated 'he would never admit to
actually having any fucking feelings about anything. He barely mentions it when I call him.'
I gripped his arm tighter 'Jazz,' I soothed 'everyone deals with grief in their own way.'
'His fucking wife was killed!'
A hush descended over the dining room and I knew without looking that all eyes were on us but I didn't care, all I cared about was getting Jasper
out of there so I could talk to him and comfort him in private. I stood up, my chair scraped across the floor, oddly loud in the unusual quietness of the
room.
'Come on, Jazz,' I said cupping his elbow and urging him to get up 'let's go.'
In his current state he clearly wasn't thinking right and just as I leaned over he jumped to his feet and the back of his head slammed into my face.
'Ow!' I yelped in agony as I fell backwards but in my desperation to right myself I clutched blindly at the table, completely missed it and fell
awkwardly on the concrete floor with a sickening crunch. I knew at once I had broken something.
'Oh God Bella!' Jasper cried as he dropped to his knees beside me 'I'm so sorry.'
A small group gathered round us as I wept in agony. Jasper scooped me into his arms and rushed me straight to the exit.
'I think I've broken my arm.' I sobbed wincing in pain at every step.
'I'll take you straight to the hospital, there's no point seeing the nurse she'll only send us there anyway.'
He placed me gingerly in his car and his eyes were full of apology as he closed the door gently.
He must have apologised a hundred times by the time we arrived at the hospital but all I could concentrate on was the unbearable pain in my arm
and the horrible metallic taste of blood in my mouth.
I had to wait an hour to see a doctor, it seemed that even though it was Lunchtime on a Tuesday the Emergency Room was still very busy. After
some X rays it was confirmed that I had broken my wrist, but thankfully it was a clean break. I was given some pain killers and Jasper stayed with
me while they put a cast on it.
'God, I'm such a jerk,' He groaned watching me grimace in pain 'I don't know what came over me.'
'I do,' I said hissing as my hand was elevated slightly 'you just got a bit emotional, it's to be expected, please stop beating yourself up about it. It's
a broken wrist, I'll survive.'
He kissed the top of my head 'You also have a fat lip.'
I stuck my tongue out at him and it hurt.
Eventually I was allowed to leave and Jasper led me out through the waiting room. I felt a bit woozy from the painkillers so Jasper left me sitting at
the main entrance and went to get the car.
'Bella?' I turned to see Jacob walking towards me his brow furrowed in concern as he spotted the cast 'What happened to you?' He was wearing
a light blue polo shirt and dark blue pants, his name badge was pinned to his top pocket.
 'I..um..had an accident at college.' I felt self conscious meeting him unexpectedly like this, especially since I knew he was interested in me.
He sat down beside me 'Looks nasty.'
'It's not too bad, apparently it should heal quickly.'
He nodded 'Do you need a ride home?' He said looking around to check if I was with anyone 'I'm due a break soon.'
I shook my head 'No thanks, Jasper has just gone to get the car.'
He looked a little disappointed 'You know I'm glad I ran into you Bella,' He said and I could tell by the shift in his demeanour that he was going to
ask me a question I didn't want to answer yet 'I was gonna...'
'I've got the car out front Bella, we'll have to be quick though,' I was never more happy to see Jasper, he looked at Jacob and quirked an eyebrow
'Oh Jacob, I didn't know you worked here.'
Jacob smiled and shook the hand that Jasper offered. 'Yeah,' he said 'hopefully not for much longer though.'
They had a brief conversation about work and cars and I was afraid that Jasper would say something stupid about my lie.
I stood up and clung to Jasper's arm pulling him towards the door 'It was nice seeing you again Jacob.' I smiled.
'Hey, listen,' Jasper said stopping and turning back to Jacob 'Alice and I are having a barbecue this weekend, Bella's coming,' he grinned
looking down at me 'you should totally come!'
'Sure!' Jacob grinned looking at me before looking back to Jasper 'That'd be great, I'll get the address from Edward.'
I cringed as Jasper led me out to the car, not only was my lie to Jasper about to catch up with me but he had just inadvertently done Edward's
dirty work for him.
'You didn't tell me your boyfriend works at the hospital.' Jasper said strapping my seat belt for me and then scooting to the driver's side.
'He's not my boyfriend.'
'I thought you said you were dating him?'
'No,' here comes the lie again 'one date doesn't constitute dating!'
'I thought you liked him.'
'I never said that.' I was already forming a plan in my head to use the broken wrist as my get out of barbecue free card.
'Bella, you didn't have to,' he smiled 'that night in the tree house you went all dreamy when you were telling Alice and me about your date.'
Oh God! This was worse than I thought 'Look, he's a nice guy, I had a nice time but I'm not really ready for getting into anything with him. It was
one date, I just want to leave it at that.'
'Look, I know why you're trying to hide this from me,' he said shooting me little sideways glances as he drove 'but I promise, as long as he treats
you right I won't stick my nose in. Okay?'
I rolled my eyes and looked out of the window knowing that any further protestations would be futile.
As he pulled up outside my building his eyes focussed on my caste.
'I'm totally signing that thing when we get back to the apartment.'
By the time we got into the apartment the pain killers were wearing off and I felt really tired, Jasper made sure I was comfortable on the sofa and
made me a coffee.
'What time did they give me the pain killers?' I asked as he laid the cup on the table beside me.
He glanced up at the clock 'It was about two so I guess you'd be alright to take more now.'
He passed me the bottle we'd picked up from the pharmacy on the way home and I eagerly swallowed down two pills and then lay my head back
on the cushion. 'You should go, I'll be fine now.'
'I called Alice, I can stay a while longer, if you want.'
It was the 'if you want' tagged on to the end of the sentence that told me all I needed to know. 'No, honestly Jazz, I'm fine, I'll probably just watch a
bit of TV and then go to bed.'
He kissed my cheek and rubbed my hair away from my forehead before kissing that too 'I really am sorry Bella.'
'It was a good distraction though,' I tried to smile but I could see his confusion 'it made you forget about your worries for a while.'
 His shoulders sagged and I kicked myself for bringing it up again 'Yeah.' He said quietly.
I must have dozed off because a finger tracing my swollen lip startled me awake.
'What happened to you?' I opened my eyes to find Edward perched on the edge of the coffee table looking down at me, his eyes full of concern.
His finger was still delicately touching my mouth.
'I had an accident at college,' I held the cast up and hissed as a bolt of pain shot up my arm 'I broke my wrist.'
'How did you manage that?' He asked focussing on the cast now.
'Jasper got up too quickly, we clashed heads and I came off worst.'
'How can you break your wrist banging heads?' He quirked an eyebrow at me.
'I fell awkwardly.'
'Can I get you anything?' he asked standing up 'Coffee?'
'No, I won't sleep tonight if I drink anymore.'
'It's only seven.'
I looked up at the clock surprised, I'd been sleeping for less than an hour 'I feel like I've been sleeping for hours.'
He eyed the medicine bottle 'Yeah, these make you drowsy, you won't be able to drive with these.'
I held up my cast and winced again, would I ever learn not to do that? 'I can't drive with this either.'
He smiled.
'Oh, I just remembered,' I said attempting to sit up and he was at my side immediately helping me 'I met Jacob at the hospital.'
He sat down beside me. 'Did he ask you out?'
I shook my head 'No but I think he was going to before Jasper interrupted us.'
'That's a pity.' Edward said still smiling at me 'but if Jacob is anything he's persistent, he'll call don't worry about that.'
'But I am worried Edward,' I moaned disappointed again by his eagerness 'I meant what I said the other day, I don't feel like I want to go out on a
date with anyone yet.'
'You went on a date with me and it was fine.'
'That was different.' I said leaning back, he followed so we were both resting our heads on the back of the sofa.
'How?'
'Because I knew it wasn't real, so there was no pressure, I didn't have to worry if you liked me or not, or if I liked you.'
He shifted a little so he was fully facing me 'Jacob likes you.'
I sighed 'Don't push me into this Edward.'
He held his hands up 'Okay, I'll let it drop,' he turned away 'for now.'
'We do have a problem though,' I said closing my eyes 'Jasper invited him to the barbecue on Saturday.'
Even though my eyes were shut I could tell he was grinning wider now 'That's good.' He insisted.
'Jasper thinks I went on a date with him,' I pointed out 'I don't want Jasper to find out I lied to him.'
'Oh!'
I opened my eyes and rolled my head to look at him 'Yeah! Oh!'
The smile slowly crept back across his handsome face 'You worry too much, it'll be fine, and at least this way you can get to know Jacob a bit
better without the pressure of a date.'
I felt like smacking him in the mouth with my cast.
Later, Edward made himself something to eat and I went to my room to get ready for bed only to find just how limiting a newly broken wrist can
be. It was unbelievably painful to move my fingers so I had to struggle with my buttons with my left hand and every time I moved my arm throbbed.
 It took me three times longer than normal to wriggle out of my jeans and I had just managed to get tied up in knots trying to get my top off when
there was a tap on the door.
'You okay in there Bella?' Edward called 'Do you need any help.'
'NO!' I shouted a little too loudly in my alarm 'I'm managing.'
'I brought your pills and a glass of water in case you need them during the night.'
I sagged back on the bed wearing only my panties and with my good arm tangled up in my top like a sling and cursed the situation. 'Just leave
them at the door, I'll get them in a minute.'
'Okay.' He said.
I heard him walking away and realised I hadn't thanked him 'Edward?'
'Yeah?' He called back.
'Thanks.'
He didn't say anything else and I sat on the edge of my bed wrestling with my top but it was no use I couldn't get it off. I managed to force my arm
back through the sleeve and decided I might as well just sleep in it. I padded to the door and pressed my ear to it to make sure Edward wasn't in
the near vicinity and then quickly opened the door and snatched up the pills. Unable to manage the glass too I darted to my nightstand and came
back for the glass.
I heard footsteps approach so I slammed the bedroom door shut, leaving the glass outside.
'Bella?'
'I'm not decent!' I shouted.
'Do you need any help?'
'No, I just need you to go away so I can get the glass.'
'Get into bed,' he sighed 'tell me when you're decent and I'll bring it in.'
My cheeks were blazing as I scooted under the duvet. 'Okay.' I said and didn't look at him as he brought the glass in.
He knelt beside the bed 'If you need any help, just ask.'
I looked at him then and his eyes were bright and he seemed slightly amused. 'I'm okay, Edward really.'
'Are you going to sleep in that top?'
'Yes!' I said firmly.
He placed the glass on the nightstand beside the pills and seemed to regard them for a moment or two before finally standing up 'Goodnight
Bella.'
'Goodnight.' I grumbled as he put out the light.
I lay in the dark feeling foolish, he'd been offering me help and all I could do was worry that he would see me in my underwear. All of the
confidence I'd found around him recently evaporated and I felt bitter tears well in my eyes. I'd been so sure I was on my way to liberating myself from
the shackles holding me back from normal relationships, but now in the lonely darkness of my room it seemed as far out of my reach as ever.
In the morning it was the pain that woke me, the weak yellow glow of sunrise alerted me to the fact that it was still very early. I struggled up to a
sitting position and grabbed the bottle of pills but I couldn't hold it with my sore hand while trying to open it with my good hand and my frustration
boiled over again as I threw the bottle across the room and burst into tears.
I sagged back down to my pillow and sobbed in frustration and not just because of my arm.
There was a light tap on the door and I groaned, here we go again. 'Go away, Edward, I'm fine!' I bit out.
'I'm coming in.' He said opening the door.
I turned quickly attempting to catch the duvet and then yelped in pain as I realised I'd used my sore arm to do it.
'For Christ's sake Bella!' He hissed crossing the room in three strides and yanking the duvet over me 'I have seen girls in their underwear before,
I'm not going to pounce on you.'
I turned my face deeper into the pillow and cried harder. The bed dipped as he sat on the edge and I felt his hand on my shoulder. 'Why are you
crying?'
 'I can't do anything right.' I mumbled.
'Bella, you have a broken wrist, you can't expect to just carry on regardless, it'll take a little while for you to get some use back in that arm.' His
hand was rubbing warm circles on my back.
I slowly turned to face him and he frowned at me before handing me a tissue. I rolled onto my back and dabbed at my eyes and nose. 'I'm sorry,
I'm being childish.' I whispered, hating the way my voice was still shaking with the last remnants of my sobs.
'It's not just the arm that's upsetting you is it?' He observed.
I shook my head and squeezed my eyes shut against the fresh batch of tears threatening to spill out.
He moved closer, and careful not to hurt my arm, pulled me up and into his arms. He smelled wonderful in the morning, that was the first thing that
hit me, the second was the fact that he was shirtless and I hadn't noticed. It further compounded my misery and not for the first time in this newborn
day I groaned in frustration.
'Look, I'm sorry I was a bit harsh with you there, tell me what's wrong.' He whispered.
'I thought I was getting somewhere,' I explained quietly in stilted words 'I thought I was gaining some confidence and that it was only a matter of
time before I would be able to do the whole relationship thing.' I swallowed hard and my cheeks burned 'I thought I would one day be able to.. to
make love,' my voice cracked 'but I can't even let you take my top off.'
'Bella, you shouldn't try to run before you can walk. We've made out a couple of times, and you've gained a lot of confidence,' his fingers traced
comforting circles on my back as he spoke 'but this reaction is perfectly normal, any girl would feel the way you do right now,' he pressed his lips to
the top of my head 'don't lose your nerve now.'
'But, I feel safe with you, I like doing stuff with you, I didn't expect to feel frightened at the thought of you seeing me naked.'
I buried my face in his chest and he held me close saying nothing for a long time, when he did speak it was the last thing I expected him to ask.
'Has Jasper seen you naked?'
My head shot up and I finally looked at him 'What?' I gasped.
'No, not like that,' he sighed gently 'I just mean, you two grew up really close, was there ever a time when he had to do something like this for you,
or did you ever go swimming together in summer?'
I thought back and shook my head 'No one has seen me naked.'
'But he's seen you in a bathing suit right?' I nodded 'And if he lived here you would have let him help you?' I nodded again 'Okay so this is the
same thing Bella, it's nothing to do with our.. situation.. it's just one friend helping out another, okay?'
His words made sense but cradled in his arms, having just felt the soft sprinkle of hair on his chest against my cheek it was very difficult to think
of him as I would Jasper. Eventually though I had no choice but to agree with him.
'Good because we need to get that top off you, it doesn't smell so good.'
I gasped but then seeing the mirth in his eyes I could only help but snicker 'You're mean!' I smiled.
His tone turned serious again 'I can take your top off without looking and then I'll pass you your robe, you should be okay to wash your body with
one hand, I'll wash your hair later,' he looked down at me again 'it's not like you'll be going anywhere this morning.'
I shook my head 'I guess not.'
He unwrapped my hands from around his waist where I hadn't even realised they were placed and gently raised my good arm up. I stole a glance
at him and his eyes were closed, I smiled, relieved. His fingers traced under the hem of my top and brushed my bare skin it was all I could do not to
jump in fright.
I tried to imagine it was Jasper but the warmth of his fingers as they brushed up my torso taking my top with them wasn't entirely unpleasant and
the sensation took me by surprise. Tiny goose bumps sprung up on my flesh as his skin came into contact with mine. With eyes still closed, he
pulled the top higher over my breasts and then his fingers circled my good arm as I pulled it out of the sleeve.
'That's the easy part.' He murmured as his hands fluttered to the two buttons at my neck, I marvelled at how easily he opened them with his eyes
still closed. He hooked his other hand underneath my armpit and supported it while he pulled the top sideways over my head, all I could think about
was his thumb resting on the side of my breast with only the fine material of my bra acting as a barrier between his skin and mine. The heat of his
skin felt like a branding iron on my delicate flesh.
I swallowed hard and he slowly pulled the material down over my cast and finally off, he turned his back to me and I watched as he walked to the
door to retrieve my robe from the hook. He looked at the floor and picked up my pills. As he walked back he kept his eyes trained downwards and
then his eyes were closed again as he placed the robe around my shoulders.
I moved to put my good arm in the sleeve 'Wait.' He said and this time I did jump when his hand snaked around my back in an unexpected but
fluid motion and in one tug he undid my bra.
 I gasped and he chuckled. The bra fluttered down my arms and I let it drop completely off before forcing my arm into the sleeve. He felt his way
gingerly across the shoulder of my other arm before positioning the other sleeve, I winced in pain as I put my sore arm in.
I clutched at both sides of the robe suddenly aware that I was sitting in front of him exposed. His eyes stayed firmly closed and he was enviously
calm while I was a quivering wreck.
I pulled the robe around me and he managed to tie the belt before finally opening his eyes, 'There!' He smiled, satisfied with his work 'I didn't see
a thing!' And then he surprised me by leaning forward and pressing a soft kiss to my lips.
'Thank you.' I blushed
He rubbed my arm affectionately 'It was my pleasure.' The way his eyes blazed restored a little of my confidence and I could only smile back.
Edward offered to make breakfast and I went to the bathroom to get washed, I managed to do it with one hand though it was laborious and not
as thorough as I would like. I managed to get both arms into the robe but I couldn't tie it so clutching it across my body I ventured to the kitchen to
ask Edward to help.
He was busy stirring eggs in a pan and singing to himself when I got to the kitchen.
'I could use a little help.' I said quietly 'I can't tie the robe.'
He looked up and smiled 'Sure.' He strode towards me and adjusted the robe carefully before tying it for me.
He didn't let go when he'd finished though and instead he simply stood staring into my eyes, my heart began to beat faster and I was hit with the
desire to be kissed. I gazed back at him, aware that the air was charged between us.
He took a step closer to me and I couldn't stop myself from inhaling the scent of him anymore than I could have stopped my heart from beating.
His fingers snaked under my chin and tilted my face up, he smiled and then dipping his head covered my mouth with his.
This wasn't a date nor was it pre planned but I wanted it, I needed it, after my crisis of confidence earlier, I definitely needed his kiss. His lips
trailed slowly from mine to my ear.
'I'm taking the day off too.' He whispered and then he left me standing there as he went back to the eggs. 'You should get dressed.' He said with
a wink.
'How?' I asked sarcastically.
'If you put on a buttoned shirt and some sweat pants you should manage.' He answered.
I went back to my room and fished out what I needed, pulled on my panties and the sweatpants without too much trouble but I stared dubiously at
my bra. There was no way I could do it up and there was no way I was asking Edward to come back in and do it for me, it was clear he was now in a
playful mood and I didn't want to tempt fate. I could hear his voice from the other day in my head 'baby steps'.
Foregoing the bra I pulled on a checked shirt with snap buttons and fumbled with the snaps until I managed to get them done. Heading back into
the kitchen I was just in time to find Edward plating up the eggs with toast.
I sat down at the table thanking him and realised I hadn't eaten since lunchtime yesterday and I was famished. He poured me a cup of coffee and
placed it in front of me before sitting down opposite me.
'Well since we're playing hooky,' He grinned 'I thought we could turn it into a hooky date.'
'A hooky date?' I asked confused, covering my mouth since it was full of eggs.
He grinned 'Yeah! It's a new invention of mine.'
'What exactly does it entail?' I asked, his grin was infectious and I found myself grinning too.
Suddenly I felt his foot slide slowly up my calf 'It's where I take the day off to be with you and we can do stuff.'
'Stuff?' I quirked an eyebrow.
'Don't worry, it'll be good stuff.' His toes squeezed my calf 'I promise.'
I decided I liked the inventor in Edward.
a/n Okay so here's why I'm nervous, I am trying to keep Bella as real as possible, she's NOT a normal young woman embarking on
this journey, HER reactions are not typical and I had to give her another crisis of confidence because she is stumbling blindly
through all of this with the innocence of a child. Also I do realise that there is a lot of ambiguity in the story, I am hoping it will get
clearer as it goes along. I don't want to reveal too much about Edward's motivations just yet.
I'd love to hear more of your thoughts and thanks for the alerts, favourites and of course the reviews so far! x
Chapter 11
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Last update of the weekend. Since it's a bank holiday and I have a day off tomorrow I thought I'd share this chapter.
I tried hard to concentrate on my food as his warm foot slid up and down my leg, he pushed his plate away and his eyes glittered mischievously
as he sat back in his chair and studied my reactions.
Since his mood was playful I tried my hardest to keep my face neutral even when his foot slid higher up the leg of my sweat pants and rested on
my inner thigh. I lost my appetite for food midway through and stood up abruptly.
I lifted my plate and dropped it onto his before carrying them both into the kitchen, I sat them on the counter and then turned and eyed the trash
ruefully, I couldn't scrape the plates into it with only one good hand.
Edward came up behind me and deliberately circling his arms around me grabbed the plates and did the job for me.
'Leave them, I'll wash up later.' He said and his breath was warm against my ear.
He traced his hands up my arms and kneaded my shoulders softly before turning me round to face him and taking my hand in his.
'I think you need a little confidence building today.' He said gently and pressed his lips to my forehead. 'You've been coming out of your shell so
beautifully these last few weeks it would be a shame to stall now.'
I nodded, feeling a little foolish at my over reaction earlier, but he was right I needed to keep going. 'So what are we doing today,' I said forcing a
weak smile 'on our hooky date.'
'That's entirely up to you.' He smiled.
I held up my caste 'I'm not sure if I'm up to much.' I felt my wrist throb and knew the first thing I'd be doing was popping a couple of pain killers.
He circled my waist with his hands and clasped them behind my back pulling me against him. 'We could watch a movie, listen to music,' he
leaned closer until his lips were millimetres from my ear 'make out a little.'
A new throb started pulsing at the breathy promise of his last suggestion 'I like option three.' I whispered.
I felt his smile 'I was hoping you'd say that.' He straightened up a little but his lips only made it as far as my temple 'One suggestion though, and
you can say no if you want.' He paused and I nodded slightly for him to continue 'We should maybe go to my room, just in case Jasper decides to
pay you one of his impromptu visits.'
I hadn't thought of that 'Right, of course,' I said 'but why not my room?'
He pulled back further now and looked directly into my eyes 'You should save your room for when you are doing this for real.'
Sometimes, no, most of the time, I hated it when he reminded me that none of this was real. I'd done it myself on occasion but for some reason it
bothered me more when he felt the need to do it.
'Okay.' I sighed.
He frowned 'You don't have to, Bella, this is all about you, we'll only do what you want to do. I'm not trying to force you into anything.'
I smiled at him and reaching up on my tiptoes planted a quick kiss on his lips. 'I know.'
I yelped as he scooped me up into his arms and carried me caveman style into his room. I'd been in Jasper's room many times and though it
looked exactly the same it felt infinitely different because of the promise it held today. He sat down on the bed with me draped across his knee. I
turned my face towards him and claimed his lips.
His lips were soft and yielding and tasted utterly delicious, I moaned in the back of my throat when his tongue traced a feathery pattern around
my bottom lip before he sucked it gently into his mouth. My cast was heavy in my lap and my other arm clutched at his neck trying desperately to pull
him even closer to me.
His fingers delved into my hair and he angled my head slightly before deepening the kiss, it was the most sensuous kiss he'd ever given me and
I felt myself relax as soft shivers buzzed up and down my spine. I was enjoying his tongue in my mouth, his fingers massaging my scalp, even the
thumping of my heart felt good.
I twisted a little trying to get closer but I winced as I cricked my neck in the process, his lips left mine and he slid me off his knee and I scooted
back against his headboard 'Move over.' He breathed and his voice was husky and hot as hell. I did as I was told.
He stretched out beside me and lay flat on his back pulling me half way across his body so I my face was hovering above his. I liked the new
dynamic and attacked his mouth with fervour propping myself with my elbows while he supported my weaker arm with his. I kissed him long and
hard and plunged my tongue into his mouth with wild abandon.
 He groaned as my leg brushed across his lap and I stalled when I felt the hard ridge of his erection against my thigh. 'I'm sorry!' I gasped.
His fingers cupped my cheek and he smiled 'its okay Bella, believe me, its okay.'
I blushed, secretly pleased but also a little anxious at his reaction to me, but I was enjoying myself too much to let the anxiety take over. I swept
my hand down his torso feeling the ridges of his ribs and the hard flat expanse of his stomach, my fingers traced the bottom of his t-shirt and I was
hit by the sudden urge to feel his naked skin beneath my fingertips.
I lifted the shirt slightly and allowed my fingers to rub a small circle just beneath his navel, I felt the course trail of hair that led downwards and my
mind cast back to his first morning waking up here and the delicious glimpse I'd gotten of that sexy little trail. He was completely still beneath me
and I looked into his eyes, they were darker than I'd ever seen them and hard with unmistakable restraint.
My heart constricted when I realised just how much he was doing for me by simply being here. I felt the urge to say something to him but words
seemed inadequate so I bent my head and nuzzled his neck while my hand traced a lazy path up beneath his clothes. He groaned as my hand
travelled higher and my lips fluttered across his jaw line relishing the roughness of his stubble.
I was beginning to scare myself now, not because I wasn't enjoying this, but because I was perhaps enjoying it too much and it felt like an instinct
I never knew I had was kicking in. I took my time alternating between nuzzling his neck and kissing his gorgeous face while all the time my hand was
roaming around beneath his shirt.
'Will you take your shirt off?' I asked shyly.
He seemed frozen in place and I worried that he was going to deny me, but then gently manoeuvring me to the side he sat up and pulled it over
his head. My stomach flip flopped at the sight of his muscles flexing in his back and the flawless silky smoothness of his skin. He lay back down and
I hesitated for a moment.
He turned to his side and cupped my face 'Take your time Bella, we can stop as soon as you need to.'
But I couldn't stop now, I had this ache in me, it had started in the pit of my stomach but it seemed to be all through me and strongest between my
legs. Touching him and kissing him made it better and worse at the same time.
I felt a tiny frisson of fatigue on the periphery of all that I was feeling and realised my pain killers were kicking in, not wanting to waste any more
time I pulled him to me and kissed him again. The knowledge that I knew every tiny ridge of his lips, every nuance of his tongue was like an
accomplishment to me, knowing my way around that delicious mouth with my own and being able to draw groans and gasps from him filled me with
pride. I felt like I'd learned a new skill and I was actually pretty good at it.
I wanted to learn more.
I lay back feeling as if I was sinking into the mattress and smiled lazily at him as he hovered above me. 'Touch me.' I breathed and the throb
between my legs hurt more than ever.
He planted small kisses across my jaw, up the swell of my cheek and towards my ear 'Are you sure?' I nodded vigorously and he smiled pressing
his cheek to mine. Without preamble his hand went straight to my breast and he cupped it, goose bumps sprung up all over my body and my eyes
rolled back. 'No bra?' He groaned.
I languidly raised my cast to remind him, enjoying the sensation too much to speak. He hissed slightly before his fingers started to move and he
rubbed electric circles over my breast that seemed to burn through my shirt. His lips were on my collar bone now and I arched myself upwards
wanting his mouth lower. His thumb brushed across my rigid nipple and then he cupped it fully in his hand again.
Somewhere within the clouds that were now fogging my mind I remembered his request that I let him know what I wanted, that I be vocal. 'Kiss
me.' I gasped and cupped my hand over his 'Here!'
His lips stilled and he shifted slightly but I squeezed his hand over my breast tighter 'I want you to.'
A low groan rumbled in his chest and he dropped his lips back to my collar bone and slid his hand out from under mine. I whimpered as I heard
the first button pop and his tongue licked a trail following his fingers. I had never felt this good in my entire life, my head felt like it was filling up with
marshmallow and my body was sinking into the soft warm cocoon of the mattress as my limbs turned to liquid.
Another button popped and his tongue was like a tiny bolt of lightning shocking my skin everywhere it touched. I heard a groan as he opened my
shirt and despite my feelings earlier I didn't care that my breast was exposed to him, all I wanted was to feel his lips on it. My eyes were firmly
closed, I wanted to lift my head to look at him but I couldn't.
Finally his tongue danced across my skin and reached my nipple where it seemed every nerve ending in my body had congregated. He flicked it
gently and a high pitched gasp filled the room, I was sure it was me but all I was really aware of was that one flick of his tongue and then his lips
enveloped me and I almost stopped breathing.
My body felt boneless now I could think of nothing but the warmth of his lips on me and the almost excruciating ache between my legs, my arms
were inert at my sides even though I wanted to hold him to me.
His tongue swirled around my nipple and then he sucked and the pleasure of it almost consumed me 'Edward!' I groaned but it sounded strange,
slurred.
All at once I felt the cold air on my skin as his head jerked upwards, I groaned in protest but couldn't open my eyes.
 'Shit!' I heard him hiss 'The pills.'
It barely registered as the dark weight surrounding me finally overcame me. The last thing I did was smile.
I woke up with a jolt as if I'd been dreaming that I was falling and then my eyes shot open. At first I was confused by the colour of the walls but then
I smiled when I realised where I was and stretched the stiffness out of my muscles, only wincing slightly at the now familiar pain in my wrist.
I flipped on to my back and stared at the ceiling I was assailed by images of Edward kissing me, me trailing my hand across his naked torso, my
mouth dried up as I remembered asking him to remove his shirt. Then I gasped as I remembered his lips on me and my hand flew to my chest.
'I'm sorry.'
My head jerked to the side to find him sitting at his desk, he was grim faced and glaring at me.
I sat up and almost choked before the top button of my shirt popped releasing the tension, he'd buttoned every button all the way up to my collar.
'Why are you sorry?'
I expected him to move towards me but he didn't 'I knew you had taken your pills, I should have realised they would have an effect on you.'
'And you think that's why I..' I felt the blush stain my cheeks and inwardly cursed it 'why I asked you to..'
'Yes!' He hissed.
I climbed out of his bed and went to his side. 'You're wrong.'
'Am I?' He said dubiously.
I pulled his head round to face me 'I wanted you to do that,' I insisted 'and it was wonderful.'
His hand shot up and gripped my wrist 'Bella, you were doped up to the eyeballs.'
I snorted 'I took a couple of painkillers I felt warm and fuzzy, that's all.'
'You passed out!' He retorted.
'I fell asleep, I had a rough night, I was relaxed.' I was babbling 'Please don't ruin it.'
'Bella.' His voice was filled with warning.
'No!' I snapped 'I'm being serious here, I'm trusting you and I want you to do the same for me.' I swivelled on the seat beside him 'Edward, you
have to trust me to tell you when I've had enough, I will tell you if I'm uncomfortable with anything, I already promised you.'
'I do trust you.' He sighed 'but when there are mitigating circumstances like today, it's not a case of not trusting you it's a case of understanding
that you might be acting out of character.'
I blew up 'The whole thing is out of character for me, that's the point!' I stood up to face him 'I wanted everything I asked you to do, I need you to
trust me on that.'
He stood up and stepped so close to me we were toe to toe, I waited for him to speak but he simply stared at me with an unfathomable
expression.
I pressed my hand to his chest 'I prefer the cocky Edward, when you're like this you make me feel like a child that has done something wrong.'
'I don't mean to.' He sighed 'But you're right, I guess you're not the only one who needs to loosen up.'
He ruffled his fingers through his hair and I caught the freshly washed scent of his body.
'How long was I sleeping?' I asked suddenly distracted.
'Not long why?'
'You took a shower.' I observed. It was good to know he hadn't been sitting glaring at me all morning.
'What do you want to do now?' He asked and there was a gleam in his eye that told me he intended to keep his word.
'We could pick up where we left off?' I said mustering up all my courage.
He practically growled at me and his grin was wolfish 'It's your party!'
He hooked his hands under my armpits and pulled me effortlessly off the ground leaving me no choice but to wrap my legs around his waist. He
carried me back to his bed and lowered me onto it, a nervous giggle escaped me as I realised he was poised between my legs though he wasn't
actually on the bed with me.
 He lowered himself painfully slowly and the anticipation was delicious as I waited for his lips to make contact with mine. However, fate had other
ideas and a light tapping on the door stopped him in his tracks.
He groaned 'Who the fuck...' he turned towards me 'sorry.'
This was a good day and one curse word wasn't going to change it 'It's okay.' I smiled and he swept me back on to my feet.
The door tapped again just as I made it to the sofa where I lay down and tried to look as if I'd been there all morning.
I craned my neck peering down the hallway as Edward answered the door to find Alice carrying a large brown bag and two cups of coffee in a
holder.
'Oh!' She said surprised 'I didn't expect you to be home.'
'I have a study day.' Edward said smiling as she hugged him and made her way towards me.
'How's the invalid?' She asked dumping her wares on the coffee table and shifting my feet so she could sit down beside me.
'I'm fine,' I said 'I was a little uncomfortable during the night but I took my tablets this morning and had a little nap, I'm not long up.'
'How are you managing with dressing and undressing?' She lowered her voice conspiratorially and Edward grinned behind her back and raised
his eyebrows as if anticipating my answer. 'I should have come over last night but I didn't get in till after midnight and..' for the first time ever I saw
her blush 'Jasper and I overslept this morning.'
I giggled, I couldn't imagine Alice who was always so poised and well organised oversleeping at all. 'It's okay,' I insisted 'luckily I was wearing a
button down and' I motioned towards my current outfit 'this wasn't hard to put on at all.'
'That was lucky!' She trilled and then leaned forward to pick up the bag she'd come in with 'I brought an early lunch, in case you were hungry.'
'I'm starved.' I agreed eagerly looking into the bag.
She laid out bagels, little pots of fillings, a packed salad, cold cuts, a tub of coleslaw and four of the largest muffins I had ever seen.
'Are you expecting company?' Edward smiled looking over her shoulder at all the food.
Alice shrugged 'Everything just looked so good!'
Edward busied himself in the kitchen making coffee while Alice and I sipped ours from the Styrofoam cups. She told me how Jasper had been
beside himself when she got home and was really beating himself up about my accident. We both knew there was no point in me trying to come up
with something to make him feel better, Jasper needed to worry it out of his system and at this point in time, it might do him good to have
something trivial to worry about.
Edward brought plates and cutlery and set it on the table next to the food before helping himself and then sitting in the chair opposite. I listened
while he and Alice caught up on some family news and then the conversation turned to the upcoming barbecue.
'Do you think it will stay dry?' Edward asked with a cheeky grin.

Alice dabbed her mouth with her napkin 'You know me better than that Edward, I have a contingency plan, but I'm sure it will be fine, I did check
the weather report.'
'Yeah, because we all know how infallible that is.' He rolled his eyes in good humour.
Alice ignored him and turned to me 'Jasper said he invited Jacob.'
I looked down at my bagel 'Yeah.' I said quietly.
'Um..shouldn't you be pleased that he invited your boyfriend?' She said.
I glanced up at Edward who was suddenly engrossed in the task of spreading cream cheese on his bagel.
'He's not my boyfriend.' I said evenly.
'Not yet.' She said quirking an eyebrow. Normally I would have accused her of match making but I couldn't put my finger on it directly but the way
she was speaking and those furtive little glances she kept shooting my way made me feel like this was some sort of test.
'I like Jacob b...'
'Oh that much was clear in the bar,' she trilled completely cutting me off at the worst possible moment 'don't you think Edward?'
He looked up from his bagel and nodded 'Yeah!'
'You know, I wasn't surprised when you told Jasper and I that you are dating him.'
'I'm not!'
 'Oh come on Bella, why so coy? You two had obvious chemistry in the bar,' she licked a glob of cheese off the tip of her finger 'Right Edward? I
couldn't help but notice the way you two sat so close together when you were talking and it's too bad his turn on the stage came up just as he
plucked up the courage to touch you.'
I gasped at her boldness 'You make it sound like he felt me up, he only put his hand on my back, he was probably just going to ask me to move
so he could get up.'
She smiled knowingly 'You didn't see that gleam in his eye.'
I was squirming in my seat, this was just the kind of ammunition Edward would use to encourage me to go out with Jacob. To my horror she
wasn't finished yet.
'I have to be honest, Jasper is a little worried, I mean Jacob seems like a nice guy but you can never be too careful.' She turned to Edward 'You
know him pretty well, right?'
He nodded 'He's cool.'
'Yes but how is he with women?'
He stood up 'Well, if you're asking if he's like me, then the answer's no,' he stalked to the kitchen still talking 'Jacob's only had one girlfriend in the
time I've known him, he's a relationship kind of guy he doesn't do one night stands.'
Great, I thought, perfect for pure little Bella.
Alice frowned as she watched Edward head for the kitchen.
'Look,' I said sitting up straighter and dumping my half eaten bagel on an empty plate on the table 'I wish you would stop trying to make more of
this than there is.'
Alice placed her hand on my knee 'We just want to see you happy.' She smiled, making me feel like a petulant five year old.
'I am happy!' I grumbled 'though that is rapidly changing.'
Alice stood up and started gathering up the remains of our lunch refilling the bag and taking it into the kitchen to put it in the trash. Edward was
clattering around in the kitchen too and I sat there feeling like I could smack both of them round the head.
'If you need anything at all, let me know.' She smiled coming back into the living room.
'I will.' I promised.
'Well, if I don't hear from you before then, I'll see you on Saturday,' Alice said sliding her jacket on and leaning down to kiss my cheek 'it'll be fun
and I promise I won't try to force you and Jacob together.'
'Thanks.' I sighed.
'I'm sure I won't need to!'
And with that parting shot she was gone.
I half expected Edward to pick up where Alice had left off but he didn't, instead he walked to the table by the window, picked up one of the chairs
and headed towards the bathroom.
'Come on, I'll wash your hair.' He said over his shoulder.
I followed him to the bathroom, grateful of the distraction.
He pushed the chair up against the sink and motioned for me to sit down on it. I did, my back was to the sink and he adjusted the chair slightly
and gently tilted my head back over the sink. I noticed a strange intensity about him and that he wasn't speaking and I wondered if my lack of
enthusiasm towards Alice's meddling had annoyed him.
Maybe I owed it to him to try harder, he'd agreed to help me and here I was being selfish when I knew he was foregoing his normal propensity for
prolific dating for my sake. I really should be making an effort to date and free him from the responsibility he had committed to in good faith.
He pulled the shower head forward and turned on the spray, checking the temperature with his other hand, he paused and then eventually
brought it to my head and wet my hair.
'Which shampoo?' He asked eyeing the many bottles on the shelf.
'Um the red one will do, it's a shampoo and conditioner it'll save you doing both.'
He leaned over me 'Is that the one you normally use?'
I shook my head, which was no mean feat considering my position 'I normally use the white one.' He snatched up the white bottle 'but then I need
to use the conditioner too.' I finished weakly as he squeezed a blob into his hand then applied it to my hair.
'Did I do something wrong?' I asked as his fingers vigorously rubbed my scalp.
When I'd imagined him washing my hair this wasn't exactly what I had in mind.
He looked down at me again 'No, why?'
'You seem a little...tense.'
He didn't comment on this as he rinsed my hair but merely asked which bottle was the conditioner, I decided against pointing out that I normally
shampooed twice. He leaned over me to get to the bottle and I caught a glimpse of the skin beneath his navel and that little trail of hair that was fast
becoming my favourite thing about him.
He smoothed the conditioner through my hair and this time he was more gentle.
'That's nice.' I said attempting to smile at him but he wasn't looking at me.
His shoulders sagged slightly and he glanced at me with eyes that were softer than they had been a moment ago but there was still a trace of
whatever it was that was troubling him.
'I normally leave the conditioner in for a couple of minutes before I rinse.' I said babbling in my attempt to lighten the mood.
At last he focussed on me and though his face was still hard his fingers were gentle as they traced circles on my scalp and then slid through my
hair taking the tangles with them. I hummed with pleasure and my eyes drifted closed, this was more like it.
My soft moan must have had an effect on him because all at once his lips were next to my ear 'Do you still want to pick up where we left off?'
My eyes flew open as one of his wet hands rested on my bare skin on the gap between my shirt and pants. There was a determination about him
that hadn't been there earlier, an edge to his voice that stirred something in me that I didn't recognise until he pulled back and his eyes burned into
mine. And then I knew what it was even if I couldn't understand it; in that brief moment I felt like I was his, there was possessiveness in his eyes that
scared me.
'We don't have to.' He bit out obviously picking up on my inner turmoil, his eyes changed again, they were flat and all at once he looked jaded.
'You seem different.' I said, going for honesty rather than tangling myself up in knots trying to figure him out.
'Different how?' He had picked up the showerhead again and was carefully rinsing my hair.
'Annoyed, maybe,' I said trying to catch his eye 'like you are disappointed in me.'
His lips pressed together forming a grim line as his eyes flicked to me and then back to what he was doing 'I'm not disappointed in you Bella.'
'But something has disappointed you.' I said and then voiced my earlier deduction 'I'm sorry I wasn't very enthusiastic with Alice.' His brow
furrowed in confusion 'Her attempts to match make with Jacob.' I clarified.
He rung out my hair like it was a dish rag and then leaned me forward before wrapping a warm towel around it. I sat back up and he sat on the
edge of the bath facing me.
'Alice is a master manipulator she always has been,' he sighed 'once she gets the bit between her teeth she won't let go till she gets what she
wants. Trouble is she seems to think that she knows what everyone else wants too so she just can't stop herself from meddling into things that don't
concern her.'
'I thought you'd be pleased that she's doing your dirty work for you.'
He balked 'My dirty work?'
'You want me to go out with Jacob,' I pointed out 'Alice is trying to make it happen and if it works you're free from any... um.. obligation to me.'
'That's how you see it?' He said sliding forward on the edge of the bath and taking both my hands in his. His eyes were piercing.
I looked down at our hands and nodded. 'I will try,' I whispered 'I'll give Jacob a fair chance.'
He pulled me up to my feet and led me out of the bathroom without a word, maybe I had alleviated his fears because suddenly he had purpose
as he strode to his bedroom with me trailing in his wake.
Once inside he turned to me and removed the towel from my head and stepped towards me pulling me roughly into his arms, his kiss rendered
me boneless in seconds and I sagged into him. Eventually he dragged his lips from mine and his eyes blazed.
'What do you want?' He bit out and I balked at the hard edge in his voice. His eyes softened and then he closed them and sighed as if a spell
had been broken. 'Tell me what you want me to do.'
'Hold me.' I said stepping into his embrace and he wrapped his arms around me and I stood there listening to his heart beating and though I
didn't know why I had tears in my eyes.
 a/n Yeah, so the hooky date didn't go as well as expected! Seems Bella isn't the only one struggling to control her emotions and
what about Alice? As always thanks for the reviews and please, if you can, let me know what you like/don't like, what you hope
does/doesn't happen. You are all lovely!
Chapter 12
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
A midweek teaser just as a thank you for all the great reviews for the last chapter. Also thanks to everyone who has added this
story on alert or as a favourite, it's not too late to start reviewing! ;o)
I went back to college two days after the accident, it didn't hurt so much to use my hand though things were still difficult and I couldn't write any
notes but I thought it better to at least attend classes in the hope that something would sink in.
I still needed help from Edward to get dressed but he was perfunctory in his actions at best. I would sit with my bra pressed against my breasts
and he would barely look at me as he fastened the clasp then he would leave me to wriggle into my t-shirt alone. He tied my shoelaces for me and
made me breakfast in the morning before leaving and he kept all conversation on a strictly non personal level.
It bothered me. After that day in his bedroom where he'd held me and been aghast to find me crying I could feel him withdrawing. I couldn't
explain the tears to him but I'd felt they were a result of my disappointment in myself and my reluctance to take the next step. But also I was
disappointed in Edward, he'd promised to let me set the pace and yet here he was unwittingly pressuring me into dating Jacob.
He'd stayed out late every night and on Friday I decided to take the bus straight to Alice and Jasper's after college rather than go back to the
horrible emptiness of our apartment. Jasper was delighted to see me and pulled me into a bear hug when I arrived.
'How's the arm?' He asked drawing back and lifting it gently to look at it.
'Better.' I smiled, glad of some warm human interaction. 'Where's Alice?'
'In the shower.' Jasper said leading me into the living room.
'Are you guys going out?'
He shook his head and pulled me down onto the sofa beside him 'She's going out with a couple of girls from work,' he turned to me and smiled
'I'm staying in with my BFF!'
I smiled then and relaxed back on the sofa. 'I thought she'd be spending the evening preparing for tomorrow.'
He chuckled 'You obviously don't know Alice very well, everything has been ready and organised for the barbecue since about Monday. She
bought the food today, I can't even fit my beers in the fridge.'
'Oh no!' I mocked 'What a disaster, warm beer, how will you survive?'
He raised his hand to thump my arm and then thought better of it and threw it around my shoulder instead. 'You looking forward to it?'

'I guess.' Not in the slightest!

Thankfully Jasper didn't mention Jacob and we sat in silence watching the news until Alice finally skipped down the stairs looking a vision in tight
black pants and a bright red top.
'Bella!' She smiled darting forward and sitting beside me 'I'm so glad you are here, make sure he doesn't drink all the beer, and don't let him
touch any of the meat in the refrigerator,' she scowled at Jasper 'it's for tomorrow.'
'Yes dear!' he rolled his eyes sarcastically and I laughed. 'It's ridiculous that the kitchen is full of food and I've to order take out for dinner.'
'Chinese?' I asked hopefully and Alice got up grinning and stepped into her shoes.
'Sure,' Jasper said handing me the menu 'you can call them, I'll have my usual.'
As we waited for the delivery Jasper dashed upstairs and came back down with a small bag. He sat down beside me and dropped it into my
lap. 'My dad asked me to give you these.'
I nervously opened the bag and pulled out Marjorie's cameo brooch, I had always admired it whenever she wore it, which admittedly wasn't that
often. I don't know why I liked it, it was really quite old fashioned but as I turned it around in my fingers I smiled through my tears 'I always wanted
this.' I whispered.
Jasper hugged me to him 'She said it reminded her of you because you always made a big deal of it whenever she wore it, Dad thought she'd
like you to have it.'
There was also a couple of photographs in the bag, one of Jasper and I with his parents when they'd taken me on a trip to Disneyworld and
another one of Marjorie and I laughing on the porch. I touched her face on each one and then cried again when Jasper pressed his lips to my
temple. The last thing was a small necklace made out of different coloured beads and crystals, I had made it for her for Mother's day when I was
fifteen and until now I'd had no idea that she'd kept it.
'Thank you so much Jasper.' I sobbed. 'I'll call your dad tomorrow and thank him too.'
 We sat lost in our own private memories for a while until the doorbell rang.
After our meal we curled up on the sofa watching TV much like we used to do when we lived together but for me it felt different. Jasper was
massaging my leg distractedly as he laughed at the comedy we were watching but every time he touched my calf I thought of the way Edward's foot
had slid up it recently.
It seemed that my experimenting with Edward had awakened something in me that had been lying dormant and even Jasper's touch had lost its
innocence. Not that I felt that way about Jasper it was just that having him touch me like this suddenly felt a little bit inappropriate and I worried what
Alice would think.
I slid my legs off his lap and curled them beneath me as if I was about to meditate, at first he didn't seem to notice but then without even looking
at me he pulled one of my legs back into his lap again and started kneading my flesh. I tensed up reflexively.
He noticed that and turned to me his brow furrowed 'What's up?'
I blushed 'Nothing.'

His fingers stopped moving but he didn't remove his hand 'Is this bothering you?'
'Don't you think Alice would mind?' I asked.
He frowned 'Why would she? it's just you Bella, it's not like I'm feeling you up.' He seemed mildly offended.
'I know,' I said quietly 'it's just that, it was different before, but now you have a girlfriend I just feel like maybe we shouldn't be so tactile anymore.'
He ruminated over this for a moment before nodding 'I guess you're right, I never really thought about it, but it's different for us we grew up
together, she knows the score.'

'Yeah, but how would you feel if she had a male friend who had a penchant for rubbing her legs?'
'Point taken.'
I scooted to his side 'I still love you, though.' I smiled pecking his cheek. 'That won't change. I guess I'll just have to employ a new leg rubber.'
He turned his head and looked at me sceptically 'You really are changing,' he mused regarding me with something that was not unlike suspicion.
'You'd never have joked about that before. I guess I should be proud of you, you're really coming out of your shell, you're going on dates...'
'You're not proud of me?' I asked a little stung by his inadvertent admission.
He looked at me sadly 'I am Bella, but I guess I'm just feeling a little redundant now, I've been so used to you relying on me for so long. I like it that
way,' he ruffled his fingers through his hair and then dragged them down his face before looking at me again 'I guess I just feel like I'm losing you.'
'You're not losing me Jasper, I'm just finding myself!'
He sat back 'And you promise you're okay living with Edward?'
I felt a slight flush hit my cheeks but fought to keep a composed expression on my face 'It's actually good, Edward is hardly in and when he is he's
usually studying. I really don't know what your problem is with him, Jazz.'
'He's a player, Bella and I don't want him playing you!' He smiled sadly at me 'Alice talks about him in glowing terms too, so I guess he has some
redeeming qualities, but I'm just not sure I trust him around you that's all.'
'Why?'
'Come on Bella, I'm not blind! I can see the effect he has on girls, he's good looking, he has the lines, he can have any girl he wants, and usually
does.' He scoffed 'And he's not very respectful of them either.'
'So you think if he sets his sights on me I'll be powerless to resist?' The conversation was getting on my nerves now and to be honest I didn't want
to hear how good Edward was at getting girls.
'I can't stop caring about you. I just want you to be aware of these things, you're so ...um.. inexperienced when it comes to things like this.'
I couldn't disagree 'I know, Jazz, but we both have to accept things are changing.'
He nodded sadly. 'It's getting late do you want to stay over, I could drive you over to your place in the morning to change?'
It occurred to me it was the first time he'd referred to the apartment as my place and in light of the conversation we'd just had I felt something shift
within me. It was like I was losing something fundamental to my being and though I had to accept it, and even though I had initiated it, it didn't mean I
had to like it.
I shook my head 'No, that's too much hassle, I'm sure Alice will have a million jobs for you in the morning. I'll just call a cab and I can drive over for
the barbecue tomorrow, I'll come early and give you guys a hand.'
 He pulled my leg into his lap 'One last leg rub for old times sake then?' He grinned.
I lay my head back and sighed 'Sure.' He rubbed my foot before sliding his hand up my calf and kneading the muscle, just the way he always had,
unfortunately the contented moan that slipped from my lips sounded a little too much like one I would give at Edwards touch.
My head snapped up and he pushed my foot off his lap 'Yup!' He smiled 'Too weird, you ruined that!'
I let myself into the apartment and was disappointed to find it empty and in complete darkness. I went to my room to get my things and then made
my way to the bathroom to get ready for bed. I stood staring at the shower and then scowled at my cast, I was fed up washing myself with a flannel
and felt like I could really use a shower or better still a bath then I came up with a plan.
I put the plug in and turned on the hot water tap before pouring in some bath oil and then I left it running while I went to the kitchen. In the kitchen I
rummaged around the drawers until I found a plastic bag some scissors and some duct tape from which I fashioned a little waterproof cover for my
cast.
Pleased with my efforts I hurried back to the bathroom and turned on the cold water tap too. Finally I stood staring longingly at the tub full of
steaming bubbles and couldn't wait to get into it. I took off my clothes as quickly as I could and even managed to get my bra off by taking my arms
out of the straps and turning it to the front to unclasp it. There was a certain amount of satisfaction in getting some independence back.
I finally stepped carefully into the bath keeping my cast out of the way and then slowly submerged myself into the blissful depths of the fragrant
water. I moaned in pleasure and it echoed around the bathroom. I hung my arm over the edge of the bath and rested my head back on the bath
pillow.
I must have dozed off because the sound of the front door closing jolted me awake and I splashed some water on my face when I started in fright.
'Is that you Edward?' I called.
'Who else?' He replied through the door 'What are you doing?'
'I'm in the bath.'
'How did you manage that?'
'I wrapped my arm in plastic.'
He chuckled 'Very resourceful. Do you need someone to wash your back?'
Oh good Cocky Edward is in town.
'Actually, I could use some help washing my hair I...'
I almost squealed when the door opened and he popped his head around it.
'I...um... meant when I get out of the bath.' I said blushing furiously and eternally grateful that the bubbles covered the entire surface of the water.
He didn't look embarrassed at all and simply smiled 'Okay, just holler when you want me.'
The suggestiveness in his voice coupled with the cheeky glint in his eyes had me biting my lip as I pondered initiating something. He started to
pull back as if he was leaving and it spurred me into action.
'Wait!' I called a little too loudly and way too desperately.
His eyebrow quirked and the gleam in his eye intensified, his hair was sticking up wildly and there was a flush about him that made him look like
the devil himself and I wanted some of that.
'Um..I guess you could come in.'
He stepped into the room fully and eyed my makeshift waterproofing 'Good job.' He said.
I felt oddly excited about the fact he was in here with me when I was completely naked beneath the bubbles but now that he was here I didn't
know what to do with him.
He stood staring down at the water and I just had to check that the bubbles hadn't moved.
'Don't worry, you're completely covered.' He grinned sitting down on the toilet seat and then he added suggestively 'Damn bubbles.'
A small bead of sweat trickled from my forehead down into my eye and I lifted my hand carefully to wipe it away.
'Actually,' He said focussing on my hand gripping the side of the tub 'I have something I wanted to ask you.'
'Shoot!' I smiled.
'I have this thing I have to go to next Thursday it's a fund raiser that Uncle Carlisle and Aunt Esme do every year for the children's hospice.' He
looked up at me and grimaced 'Good cause, lousy event, anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to be my date?'
 'Your fake date?' I smiled.
'If you want to call it that.'
'What kind of do is it?' I asked, ignoring his feigned affront.
'It's a black tie do, all very posh, five course dinner, dancing, that kind of thing.'
'It sounds lovely, of course I'll come,' but then I frowned 'though I don't have anything to wear.'
He laughed 'Well, you can call Alice, she and Jasper are going too so I'm sure she'd love to help you with that.'
We sat in silence for a few moments while I tried to imagine what the event would be like I closed my eyes and imagined a grand room with
chandeliers and big round white tables adorned with Crystal glasses and silverware. I'd never been to anything like that before and I smiled 'Thanks
for asking me.'
'So, do you want me to wash your hair?' His voice was husky and when I opened my eyes he was staring intently at my face. I nodded.
He stood up and moved closer 'You'll have to sit up.' He murmured as he grabbed the shampoo 'I can get you a towel to wrap around yourself.'
I felt like I was standing on a threshold, I could either take a step over it into the unknown or I could take a step backwards and close the door. I
swallowed hard as I looked up into his face and shook my head. He swallowed too and emboldened by his obvious anticipation I slowly started my
ascent.
I had hoped to gracefully rise out of the water and present myself to him in all my glory but this being me, it didn't quite play that way. I gripped the
side of the bath with my good arm but I lacked the leverage I needed and ended up fumbling in my efforts to get up, straining and grunting like an
animal. My face probably resembled that of a champion gurner. Very slick Bella!
He knelt down at the side of the bath and plunged his hand into the water, never taking his eyes from mine, he slid his arm around my back and
helped me to sit up. My top half was out of the water and I could feel the bubbles sliding down my breasts.
'You're trembling.' He said, eyes still trained on mine.
'Am I?'
He nodded and we stayed staring at each other for what felt like a long time. Eventually he spoke 'You have to ask me.' He said and his voice
was thick and husky.
I licked my lips and held the bottom one between my teeth while I summoned up the courage, his eyes zeroed in on my mouth and he mimicked
my gesture.
'Look at me.' I whispered.
His eyes slid downwards and I fought the urge to cover myself up. He blew out a sharp breath and his eyes were hooded as he spoke 'You are
beautiful Bella.'
I could feel the trembling now as I realised his hand was still in the water and he was lazily tracing his finger up my naked skin, but he didn't touch
me where I wanted him to. Instead he looked back up to my face and smiled. 'I'm going to wash your hair now, but I can't promise I won't get the
shampoo everywhere, I might get a little distracted.'
I shivered in anticipation as he poured some shampoo onto my hair and then began to lather it, I closed my eyes and enjoyed the sensation of
his fingers working on my scalp and then all too soon he was rinsing.
'Could you wash it again?' I asked opening one eye to catch him gazing down at me again, I blushed.
'Sure.' He said distractedly and the water from the shower head sprayed onto my face making me cough and splutter 'Sorry!' He hissed
redirecting the spray.
He dropped the showerhead into the water and I felt the spray prickling against my skin beneath the water as he poured more shampoo onto my
hair and washed it again. He plunged his hand in to retrieve the showerhead and I gasped as his fingers grazed my naked thigh.
He said nothing as he rinsed my hair and even though my eyes were closed I knew he was still stealing glances at me and it felt liberating. His
reaction to that first look had empowered me and I felt all kinds of sexy.
'Conditioner?' His voice was almost a groan.
I shook my head 'It doesn't matter.'
I just wanted to get out of the bath so I could kiss him, however, even though I liked what I'd done so far, I wasn't ready to just brazenly step out of
the bath in front of him. Not when he was fully clothed.
'I'll get you a towel.' He said standing up and retrieving the one I had placed on the radiator.
 He held the towel out to me spread wide so that I could step into his embrace.
'Um...' I started.
'My eyes are closed.' He assured me.
I struggled a little getting up but he waited patiently and his eyelids didn't even flicker. I steadied myself on the wall before gingerly stepping out of
the bath and letting him wrap the warm towel around me. He enveloped me in it completely and then his eyes opened and he smiled.
'I'm going to leave you to do what you have to do,' he said 'and then if you want you can come to my room, but if you don't want to that's fine.'
His voice was so gentle and reverent that I felt a strong burst of appreciation that this beautiful sexy man was being so kind and patient with me.
He did as he said and I dried myself off quickly before struggling into my pyjamas and wrapping my hair in the towel, I couldn't wait to get to his
room.
The door was ajar and I half expected it to be dark but as I shyly stepped inside I noticed that he had turned on his bedside lamp. He was
propped on the bed one leg pulled up towards his body and his arm resting lazily across it, he smiled affectionately at me and patted the space
beside him.
The libido I never knew I had suddenly revved into life and was firing on all cylinders as I tried hard not to leap across the room into his arms. I
managed a respectable pace before stretching out beside him.
'You smell gorgeous.' He said burying his face in my neck as soon as I hit the mattress.
I moaned at the feel of his lips on the pulse point at the base of my neck. 'You've been so distant these last few days.' I whispered.
'Have I?'
'You know you have.'
'Sorry.' His lips travelled upwards and brushed mine before he planted sweet almost chaste kisses across my cheek.
'Where were you tonight?' I asked quietly still moaning slightly at his glorious kisses.
'Library.' His voice was muffled against my skin 'You?'
'Jasper's.' I sighed. '
He rose up and looked into my face 'Are we done talking?' He smiled and I nodded just as his lips captured mine.
He kissed me long and hard while one hand pulled the towel from my hair and threw it across the room. His lips never left mine as he rifled his
fingers through my hair smoothing it back away from my face and shoulders.
He hovered above me again and looked directly into my eyes 'I'm trusting you, Bella.' He paused for a beat to ensure I understood and I nodded.
He pulled his shirt over his head and I marvelled at the beauty of his sculpted chest.
He lowered his lips to mine again and his tongue swirled into my mouth and I gasped in delight when his fingers travelled to my buttons and
started to undo them. His tongue traced my lower lip, slid down my chin onto my neck and he nibbled gently on my pulse point again as he undid the
last button.
I shivered and not from the cold as he pulled the sides of my pyjama top apart and then lifted his eyes to mine. 'Okay?' His face was a mask of
pure passion.
'Yes.' I croaked, my chest heaving.
He looked down at my breasts 'God Bella, you have great tits.' He groaned and rather than repel me the crudeness in his choice of word
inflamed me more.
He slid his hands up my body and cupped them both 'Oh God!' I hissed overwhelmed by the pure pleasure of his touch.
His thumbs brushed over my nipples and they hardened instantly, an electric current was thrumming through my whole body and I felt sure that I
could burst into flames at any given moment. The ache between my legs intensified and I squirmed and rubbed my thighs together to no avail.
He bent his head again and tickled my skin with tiny pecking kisses all the way across my shoulder and down towards my breasts, I wanted him
to kiss me there so badly and afraid that he would stop I encouraged him.
'Kiss me, please.' I gasped arching my back.
His breath was coming out in small puffs that I could now feel against my nipple he was so close 'Where?' He teased.
'My breasts.' I managed to say just before his delicious tongue reached out and flicked my aching flesh.
He plumped my breast with his hand and then sucked my nipple into his mouth, my thighs instantly clamped together and my good hand balled
into a fist while the other one throbbed as it tried to mirror that action.
 I reached up and grabbed his hair with one hand pulling him to me and he moaned sending exquisite vibrations across my tip. I could feel his
erection pressed against my thigh and I deliberately pressed against it. With another groan he reciprocated and my breath caught in my throat.
His head came up and he looked at me for guidance 'Don't stop!' I pleaded and his lips found my other nipple as he continued to grind against
my leg and my fingers clutched desperately at his hair. I watched as his tongue swirled around my nipple and then his mouth closed completely over
it, his cheeks hollowed and the pulling sensation seemed to go all the way to the apex of my thighs.
My head fell backwards and I was writhing beneath him, his lips retraced their path back up my body till he reached my face and again he
devoured my mouth with lips that were wet and warm. He leaned over me and the hair on his chest brushed against my nipples. Oh sweet Jesus!
That felt good.
His erection pressed hot and hard against my hip and my legs involuntarily parted, the ache was almost consuming me but I was nearing my
limit, I wanted him to cover me completely to press against me, but it also scared me. I sucked in a calming breath and splayed my hand across his
chest, he stopped and dropped his forehead on to mine. His eyes were squeezed tightly shut and his breathing ragged.
Eventually his eyes popped open 'Good.' He said simply and kissed my forehead.
I sat up and marvelled at his sculpted chest raising a hand to touch the fine sprinkling of hair that covered it. I was practically panting and he
smiled sweetly at me. I found my voice and blurted out the first thing that came to me 'You're beautiful too.'
He chuckled 'Men don't like to be called beautiful, Bella.'
I grinned at him 'You're sexy as hell?' I purred quirking an eyebrow.
Unexpectedly his expression became tender and he cupped my cheek 'You are amazing,' he pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply, his
thumb brushing my cheek as he did 'and you don't even know it.'
He kissed me again, more gently this time and then lay on his back pulling me down so I was draped across his side, my breasts pressed
against the right side of his chest.
'Does it always hurt?' I asked quietly.
'Does what always hurt?'
I felt shy but I needed to know 'When you kiss me and touch me, I get this ache...' I hesitated 'um..mostly.. between my legs.'
He smiled and kissed the top of my head 'That's arousal Bella, it's not actually pain, more like an itch that you need to scratch.'
I nodded agreeing that his description was better than mine.
'Does it go away eventually?'
He chuckled, 'There are ways to get rid of it, but it's getting late.'
I didn't want to leave him, I was far too comfortable. I lay curled against him, enjoying the masculine scent of him and swirling my fingers across
his chest while his fingers traced lazy circles on my back. His other fist was clenched.
The next thing I knew it was morning and I was alone and in my own bed and my first thought was: Barbecue!
I groaned.
a/n We'll have the barbecue this weekend!
How do you think it will go? Do you think Jasper really feels the same as Bella, that they should alter their friendship now that he
has Alice?
Do you think Edward is being cocky and how about Bella's reaction to it in the bathroom? Did he do the right thing asking her out
on another date when he knows Jacob will probably ask her for a date at the barbecue?
Again, I'd love to hear what you think of the story so far and even what you'd like or hate to see happening next.
Thanks for reading and please review, I need the reviews to feed my creative streak! Lol!
Chapter 13
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
I sat up in bed and realised I was naked from the waist up, memories from last night washed over me and I giggled like a school girl while
blushing furiously. I fluttered back down to my pillow and pulled the duvet up to my chin and lay there for a while going over it all in my mind. I could
hardly believe that I'd done those things but there was no measure for how proud of myself I was. I could do this!
I wondered if Edward was still asleep, he must have carried me back to my own room last night but I had no recollection of it at all.
Eventually though the passage of time started to press down on me and I knew I'd have to make good on my promise to help Alice and Jasper
prepare for the barbecue. I got out of bed grabbed my robe from the back of the door and pulled it around me before rummaging my closet for
something nice yet practical to wear for the barbecue.
A glance out of the window told me Alice was right and for once it was going to be a dry beautiful day. I decided to wear a white sleeveless
summer top and navy blue three quarter length linen mix trousers, that way I'd be comfortable and it looked quite nice too, well to me anyway. I
carried my things into the bathroom and had a quick wash and got dressed.
Jasper called and offered to pick me up, which I accepted, and then I went into the kitchen to get some coffee, there was a note from Edward
propped against the percolator.
Bella,
I had to leave early to run a couple of errands
I'll see you at Alice's.
Edward
It was short and to the point and, I guess, a little disappointing, I couldn't say what it lacked, maybe a reference to last night? A little kiss on the
end? I smiled at my own silliness and poured myself a coffee.
I put the two bottles of wine and the bunch of flowers I'd bought as a gift for Jasper and Alice in a bag and then, carrying my coffee with me, went
back to the bathroom to try to do something with my hair.
I grimaced in the mirror it looked like straw, maybe I should have let Edward condition it last night. I caught my own eye in the mirror and for the
first time in a long time I really looked at myself. The reminder of last night had brought a deep flush to my cheeks and my eyes seemed to be wider
than normal, I bit my lip as my finger traced my collar bone and my eyes closed as I tried to imagine what I'd looked like to Edward last night.
The rap of knuckles on wood startled me and then the front door opened and I heard Jasper call out.
'I'm in here!' I yelled.
The bathroom door was open and I watched in the mirror as he came into the room 'You ready?' He asked with a smile.
'I'm just doing my hair.' I said dragging the brush through it and wincing as it caught in the tangles.
I took a quick sip of my coffee as I rooted around in the drawer looking for something to tie my hair up with.
'So how are you feeling after last night?' Jasper asked leaning against the sink.
I choked on the coffee and it spluttered down my chin, I grabbed a towel and patted it before it fell onto my clothes. 'What?' I croaked as soon as I
could speak.
Jasper was at my side patting my back as I coughed the last of the coffee out of my lungs. 'You know, our little tete a tete about not being so,
what did you call it, tacit?'
'Tactile.' I said, I'd forgotten all about that and I relaxed again. I really had to get a hold of myself and remember that nobody knew a thing about
Edward and I. 'I feel okay about it, we're still best friends Jazz, nothing will change that.'
I went back to my task and tied my hair up while Jasper asked where Edward was and I explained that he had already left. Finally ready I threw
some stuff in my bag and then collecting my gift followed Jasper out to his car.
When we arrived there was a huge black Jeep parked in the driveway.
'Whose is that?' I asked getting out of the car.
'Emmett's.' Jasper answered 'Alice drafted him in to help me move the furniture around.'
We went inside to find Alice issuing out orders and Emmett lugging stuff that looked way too heavy for him to carry around the room.
'Hey dancer!' He called waving at me and almost dropping the huge footstool he'd been carrying.
 'Just take that upstairs Emmett and put it in the back bedroom, it'll only get in the way later.' Alice said and Emmett winked at me before
disappearing upstairs.
I handed the wine and flowers to Alice 'What do you need me to do?' I smiled.
She took the flowers and sniffed them 'Oh, that is so sweet of you Bella, people hardly do this anymore, you're so thoughtful.' She turned to
Jasper 'I bet nobody else thinks to bring a gift for the hostess.'
Jasper laughed 'I bet everyone will bring a ton of booze.'
'Which they'll drink themselves.' She smiled winking at me. 'Right,' she said and her tone had turned businesslike again 'I need you to help me
put up the Chinese lanterns in the garden.'
A couple of hours later everything was done and the first guests were arriving and just as Jasper had said all they brought with them was alcohol.
The kitchen counters were overflowing with bottles and cans so Alice had set out the cold food on the huge dining table and Jasper and Emmett
were already outside thumping their chests at the barbecue.
'Men love that!' she smiled watching them from the window 'cooking meat outdoors over an open flame brings out the caveman in all of them.'
I laughed as I nibbled on a breadstick.
'Wine?' Alice said passing me and heading for the kitchen.
It was barely lunchtime 'It's a little early for me,' I said following 'I'll just grab a soda.'
'Oh I almost forgot,' I said taking a soda from the fridge 'I need your help with something. Edward has asked me to go to this charity thing with
him, and I...' my train of thought halted when I caught the strange expression on her face 'What?'
'Edward is taking you to the ball?'
I giggled 'You make me sound like Cinderella.'
Her expression didn't change 'I'm just shocked that he finally got round to asking you.'
'He only mentioned it last night, I think he couldn't get a real date for it, so he invited me.' I explained.
'Oh!' She said 'I see.' But judging by the disappointed look on her face she didn't see at all. 'So what can I help you with?'
'Well, I really don't have anything fancy to wear, and I don't have a lot of money to buy something. So..'
She clapped her hands together, 'I have lots of things that will fit you, we could do a little fashion show later and you can borrow anything you like.'
'If you're sure.' I muttered, not entirely liking the idea of having to parade around in front of her wearing several outfits.
'Great, as soon as things get going we can sneak off upstairs, it won't take long.'
I took my soda outside, where a few people were congregated on the decking, and went to check out Jasper and Emmett's efforts.
'How's it coming along?' I asked as I reached them.
Jasper was poking at the coals but there was no food on the grill yet 'waiting for the damn flames to burn out.' He groused.
Emmett grinned 'Dude quit poking at them it makes it worse!'
We stood watching the flames flicker gently for a while before Emmett checked his watch.
'Shit!' he exclaimed 'Rose'll kill me I was meant to pick her up a half hour ago.' He raced across the lawn leaving Jasper looking smug because
he now had the barbecue all to himself.
In the absence of having anyone else to talk to I settled into a chair beside Jasper and swigged my soda as he poked at the charcoal. The sun
was warm on my skin but there was a gentle cooling breeze as well and it was pleasant just sitting there listening to the unintelligible chatter of the
other people in the garden and the muted sound of music coming from the house.
'Maybe we should bring some speakers out into the garden.' Jasper mused as if he'd been reading my mind.
'Do you want me to mention it to Alice?' I offered knowing it would take a natural disaster to get him away from that barbecue.
'Yeah, sure!' he said and then called after me as I headed into the house 'bring me out a beer when you come back!'
I got into the house just in time to see Emmett arrive back with Rosalie and Lauren in tow and even though I'd seen them only a few times I was
sick of the sight of them already. I'd never seen two more sullen women in all my life and growing up with my mother I'd seen my fair share of sullen!
 I spoke to Alice about the speakers and helped her to set it up, I took Jasper his beer and then Alice steered me towards the decking and
introduced me to a group of women she worked with. I sat with the women for a while enjoying their company and fielding their questions about how
I knew Alice, what I was studying at college, things like that but their conversation eventually turned to work and inevitably my end of the conversation
dried up.
The smell of the meat cooking on the barbecue was enough to send me indoors, I made my way to the dining room and put some food on my
plate before heading into the kitchen to pour myself a glass of wine. It was already gone three and I figured if I paced myself it should be okay.
I took a seat next to Jasper and Alice outside and ate my food while enjoying the slow burn of the wine entering my system. The music was lively
and some people were dancing around the garden and the group of women from Alice's work were cackling in the corner having a great time. I felt
a little out of sorts not really knowing anyone else but I couldn't hurt Jasper's feelings by leaving early.
I was just starting to wonder if Edward was going to show up at all when I heard Emmett call his name from the house and knew he had arrived. I
shifted in my seat a little in anticipation of him coming out into the garden and Alice looked at me quizzically.
A few moments later he stepped out of the house, he was wearing a loose light blue t shirt and pair of button fly jeans that were ripped at the
knee. On anyone else that outfit would have looked like he'd maybe come straight from work on a building site, but Edward made it look effortlessly
sexy. He turned towards us but before I could acknowledge him Jacob stepped out onto the patio behind him.
Jacob was slightly more formally dressed in a white button down shirt and dark dyed denims, the white of the shirt complimented the warm dark
tones of his skin. They walked towards us and I couldn't help but smile when Jacob handed Alice a bunch of flowers which she simpered over, even
more than she had mine.
I felt a pang of guilt that I had been dreading seeing Jacob when he was probably the one person here who actually had shown a bit of thought for
the trouble Alice had gone to.
'Hey.' Edward said as he reached me but then at once he turned his attention to Alice and kissed her cheek.
I smiled back at him but said nothing.
'Thanks for inviting me.' Jacob said shaking Jasper's hand.
He turned to me and smiled 'Hi.'
A small blush crept up my cheek as I was aware that all eyes were on us 'Hi.' I said smiling awkwardly and feeling uncomfortable I added 'I'm just
going to get some more wine.'
'Bring out some more beers, Bella.' Jasper said and of course Jacob offered to help.
In the kitchen I pulled some beers out of the fridge and noticing that there was now some space I put some of the ones sitting on the counters in
to chill. Jacob accepted a beer and opened it right away taking a long pull.
'Boy, I needed that!' He grinned. 'Edward and I have been working at my dad's place all day, that's why we're late.'
'What were you working on?' I asked sipping my wine and leaning back against the counter.
He took another slug of beer and wiped his lips on the back of his hand 'Dad's in a wheelchair, his ramp was getting pretty old and ramshackle,
so Edward and a couple of the guys helped me finish off the new one.'
'That was nice of them.' I commented, not really knowing what else to say.
We took the beers outside but Alice and Edward were standing at the far end of the garden deep in conversation and Jasper had taken up
residence at the barbecue again.
'Wow!' Jacob smiled seeing the empty chairs, 'never had that effect before.'
I had my suspicions that this was Edward's work.
We sat down and placed the bottles of beer on the table in front of us.
Jacob looked around the garden 'I don't know anyone here.' He said.
'Me neither.' I said and touched my glass to his bottle, before we both took a drink.
'Well, we'll just have to keep each other company,' he grinned and then hesitated 'if that's okay?'
'Of course.' I said relaxing. It seemed that Jacob was at least considerate and I felt a common bond with him since we were both feeling like fish
out of water.
'So you're from Forks?' He asked leaning back in his chair and stretching his long legs out in front of him.
'Yeah,' I answered leaning back too and balancing my wine glass on the arm of my chair 'Jasper and I just moved here last year for college.'
'Edward said you're studying English.'
 It wasn't a question but I treated it as one anyway 'Yes, it comes from a lifetime of being buried in books,' I smiled conspiratorially at him 'I think I
relate to the fictional world better than the real one.'
He chuckled 'Nothing wrong with that.' A few people, obviously becoming inebriated had started an odd drinking game in the garden that
involved two poles with a beer bottle perched on each one and they seemed to be throwing stuff at the bottles.
'So have you always lived in Seattle?' I asked turning my attention away from the growing hilarity.
'Yeah.' He sighed and I detected a note of regret in his voice.
'But you regret that?'
He leaned forward and raked a hand through his hair before turning to face me 'One of my sisters got married and moved to California, it was
sort of a dream of mine to go out there and make a career in music.' He scoffed 'I was young, you know, thought I was better than I really am.
Anyway, my other sister moved to New York to study art and then my dad had his accident and... well, here I am.'
I felt bad for having drawn him on such an obviously touchy subject 'I'm sorry Jacob, I'm not really good at light conversation, I didn't mean to pry.'
He looked aghast 'No! Please don't apologise,' His eyes intensified as he stared at me 'I don't normally do this, I guess you're just easy to talk to.'
I blushed 'You too!'
He smiled and took a drink from his bottle 'Okay, so since I've embarrassed myself, you have to tell me your inappropriate-for-a-party life story.'
I swallowed and looked away while deciding to go for the edited version 'There's really nothing to say, my dad raised me alone in Forks, you
could say I've had a sheltered life and um... I guess that's it.'
'No mom?' he asked earnestly.
I shook my head.
'Well,' he tapped his bottle against my glass again 'that's something else we have in common. Let's move onto the fun stuff, what kind of music
do you like?'
We talked for a while longer about music, films and books and found that our tastes were completely different and his knowledge of music was
far superior to mine. The conversation moved on and I found that it was indeed easy to talk to him and before long we were having fun swapping
embarrassing stories.
'... so you took your shirt off just to dab at a tiny cut on her head?' I roared with laughter. 'and there was no blood on it at all?'
Jacob looked slightly embarrassed but was laughing as hard as I was 'Hey, I was young, I had been working out a bit, I thought it might impress
her.' He chuckled defensively. 'I think they call it peacocking.'
I just couldn't imagine Jacob playing the hero and ripping his shirt off dramatically, but to do it just to dab at a tiny cut that was barely bleeding
was too funny. 'Did it work?'
He smiled 'We dated for two years.' Then the smile dulled 'But it didn't work out.'
'I'm sorry.' I said sobering.
'Don't be,' He smiled and it was brighter again 'I guess, there's only so far a six pack will take you.'
'I'm sure there's more to you than that.' I said without thinking and then I looked away from the pleased gleam in his eye.
'You two seem to be having fun.'
I turned to see Jasper sit down next to us.
'Jacob was just reliving his years as a peacock.' I giggled and Jacob burst out laughing while Jasper looked at the two of us in bemusement.
The drinking game in the garden had gathered pace and the women Alice had introduced me to earlier were now doing a weird conga around
the garden. Jasper had abandoned the barbecue and the Chinese lanterns were now glowing in the twilight.
I hadn't realised we'd been talking for so long and my wine glass lay empty in my hand, I held it up and smiled at Jacob 'I'm going to get a refill,
do you want another beer?'
He shook his head 'I've already had two, I best not drink any more.'
'Why?' I asked, genuinely perplexed since it seemed everyone here was more than up for it.
'I need to get back to help my dad in a couple of hours.'
'Oh!' I said remembering that his dad was wheelchair bound 'He's very lucky to have you.'
 He looked down 'Yeah, well, he devoted his life to me and my sisters it's the least I can do.' He looked up again 'Let's not get into all that again.'
He grinned and I found myself thinking that he was sort of beautiful and not just on the outside.
I excused myself to go to the bathroom. The music was much louder inside the house and the party was certainly in full swing as I wrestled my
way through the throng of bodies. Finally making it to the stairs I couldn't help but stop halfway up and scan the crowd looking for Edward, I found
him leaning against the wall amidst a small group of people, mainly female. He didn't appear to be speaking but he looked like he was comfortable.
I noticed several of the women around him doing things like twirling a lock of hair around their finger while looking up at him through their lashes,
licking their licks in a way that was much too obvious and quite vulgar and laughing to loudly every time someone said something. Of course Lauren
seemed to be chief attendee and when Edward finally said something she smiled and put her hand on his forearm possessively. I turned to go
upstairs.
'Hey dancer!'
Emmett was standing two steps above me, elbows resting on the banister and his eyes trained where mine had just been.
'He certainly draws the females in.' He said but his voice was quieter than normal.
'Looks like it.' I said sourly.
He took a step down and his arms slid closer but he didn't look at me 'See that muscle working in his jaw?'
At first I didn't understand but then I turned and looked at Edward and I could see it, even from this distance it looked as if his teeth were
clenched.
'He hates the attention.' Emmett said 'Nobody really sees that,' he turned then and looked directly at me, I could see in my peripheral vision but I
kept my eyes on Edward 'people hear stuff and form opinions but they don't see what's right in front of them.'
I stole a glance at him and he smiled innocently.
I looked back at Edward and suddenly I could see it, he wasn't relaxed at all.
'He's completely aware.' Emmett laughed.
'Of what?' I asked turning back to Emmett.
'Of you!' He said soberly 'Why do you think he's in here?'
'Because that's where all the girls are?' I groused.
He shook his head and I had the intense feeling that I had just disappointed him greatly.
My cheeks blazed.
He took the last step and his big body was right next to mine but there was nothing threatening in his stance. 'You guys need to wise up.' He said
before disappearing out into the garden.
I digested his words, little did he know he was way off the mark. I looked at Edward again, that wasn't tension in his face it was restraint, because
he was keeping his promise to me. Tears pricked my eyes just as Edward turned and looked directly at me, he tilted his chin up in greeting and I
darted upstairs.
I used the bathroom and while washing my hands I looked at myself in the mirror, plain old Bella Swan, mousey brown hair tied in a pony tail,
virginal white cotton top taunting me. I turned away, the women surrounding Edward tonight had been bold, provocatively dressed, probably
stimulating company and I had no idea why it suddenly bothered me so much that Edward had no inclination to spend any time with me at all today.
Somewhere in my subconscious I cursed the wine for fuelling my self pity and dabbed my eyes furiously before drawing in a deep calming breath
and leaving the bathroom. The hallway was empty and I stood for a moment feeling a strong aversion to rejoining the party, but steeling myself
against my natural insecurities I sucked it up and headed for the stairs.
I focussed on the bottom step as I descended the stairs and when I reached it I headed for the kitchen. I refilled my wine glass and on
remembering Jacob's predicament pulled a soda out of the fridge for him. I turned.
'Hey.'
'I was just getting some wine.' I said trying hard not to look at his face.
He came closer 'You and Jacob seem to be hitting it off.'
'You were right.' I said bitterly 'He is a nice guy.'
He hooked a finger under my chin and titled my face up, I couldn't resist and looked at him.
'Are you pissed at me?'
 I shook my head and in the process removed my chin from his grip.
His eyes narrowed and then softened, he leaned forward 'I'm sorry I had to leave early this morning.' He said completely misreading my mood 'I
wanted to wake you to tell you,' he glanced over his shoulder and lowered his voice 'last night was amazing.'
I pulled back and looked at him, here he was trying to put me at ease again, trying to make me feel worthy, maybe even worthy for Jacob's sake.
I couldn't even speak. I moved around him without a word and went back to Jacob.
The garden looked magical now that it was dark, the lanterns were glowing and the outdoor lights adorning the fences twinkled beautifully. The
drinking game had ended and the music had turned seductive. Jasper was gone and Jacob was sitting alone and it struck me if our roles were
reversed and he had gone inside no one would have approached me either.
Feeling a strange kinship I pressed the soda can into his hand and sat down smiling at him. Couples were dancing on the decking and the grass
and the conversation surrounding us was muted, with only the occasional burst of laughter.
'So, we already had a date?' Jacob asked, his eyebrow quirked.
My mouth went dry 'What?'
He inclined his head towards Jasper who was walking round the garden with a trash can dumping empty cans and bottles into it.
He leaned towards me 'We had a little chat while you were gone, and he seems to think I took you to the movies a few weeks ago.'
He didn't seem angry just confused and I racked my brains for something to offer him in lieu of the truth 'Jasper and I grew up together, he's
almost like my brother, he's very protective of me.'
He was nodding his head as I spoke 'Yeah I caught that, but why would you tell him I'd taken you out?'
I took a long sip of my wine 'It was more a misunderstanding than anything else and it was easier for me to let him believe that than..um.. tell him
the truth.'
'Which is?'
I looked at him and frowned, I didn't want to tell him the truth but I had already lied to Jasper, it would get too complicated if I compounded it with
Jacob.
He laid his big hot hand on my forearm 'Listen, it's none of my business really, but can I just ask one thing?'
I nodded 'Of course.' I owed him that much.
'Is there something going on with you and Jasper?' He looked at Jasper 'Are you guys fooling around behind Alice's back?'
'No!' I gasped 'Oh God, no it's nothing like that, Jacob.'
'Okay,' he said squeezing my arm to placate me 'I'm sorry, I just had to ask.' His eyes darkened 'So you're not dating anyone at the moment?'
'No.' I said.
He grinned and leaned towards me and I thought the moment had come for him to ask me out 'Dance with me?'
I blinked I hadn't expected that. I looked around the garden and couples were dancing to a slow song. 'I'm not a very good dancer.' I frowned.
He took my hand in his and pulled me too my feet 'I just saved your skin, it's the least you can do,' his voice was gently teasing 'and besides it's
really just moving in circles.' He smiled leading me onto the grass.
a/n Thanks for the favourites, alerts and reviews.
Let me know what you think if you can be bothered. :o)
Chapter 14
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
OOOPSS! I posted this then realised I had missed out a couple of paragraphs I had added then not saved. So if you are getting a
second alert that's why! SORRY
Thank you, you wonderful people who are reviewing, I am simply glued to my email waiting for them coming in! I was a little sour
about reviews maybe in my last update so apologies, since I get such well thought out reviews I shouldn't be ungrateful.
Just a little aside here, are any of you guys watching American Idol? I've been following it here in the UK and since last week I don't
know why but every time I think of Jasper in my story I am seeing Casey James! He is just totally hot and is now my vision of this
Jasper! I don't know if you'll agree, Jackson Rathbone is hot too, so its win win! ( I hope this hasn't ruined him for you!)
Anyhoo, here's part two of the Barbecue, I hope you like it and I hope you'll let me know if you do or don't!
I have 125 alerts so that's a LOT of opinions coming my way...right? RIGHT? I'm kidding, I don't mean to sound ungrateful to the
people who are making my day every time I get a review.
The music was rhythmic and soothing and when we reached a space among the dancers he slid a hot hand around my waist and pulled me
gently towards him. We weren't quite touching but I could feel the heat of his body in front of me while the contrasting coolness of the breeze blew on
my back.
I looked down to our feet and mimicked his movements, he was right we really were just swaying around in circles.
'You don't have to look at your feet the whole time Bella.' He chuckled.

I looked up into his handsome face and returned his smile 'I'm really bad at dancing Jacob you have no idea.'
He pulled me closer and I swallowed hard as his chest came into contact with mine. He seemed unaware of my reaction and continued to move.
I tried to focus on the music to help me relax.
'You okay?' He murmured, he had lowered his head so his lips were close to my ear.
I stiffened and he loosened his hold on me. I looked into his face and saw the concern and my cheeks burned with shame 'I'm sorry.' I squeaked
trying to disentangle myself from his hold.
He restrained me but not in a forceful way 'Wait,' he pleaded gently 'I'm sorry if I'm moving too fast for you.' He removed his hand from around my
back and placed it on the side of my waist there was more distance between us now and we looked oddly formal compared to the other dancers.
'It's me.' I sighed 'I'm not..'
'much of a dancer?' he smiled giving me an easy out, which I appreciated more than he could know.
I shook my head feeling foolish but squeezed his hand as a silent thank you.
He didn't say anything further as we danced until the song finished and he didn't let go of my hand as we made our way back to our chairs.
Edward was sitting at the table when we got there and I caught his quick glance at our hands, but it was Jacob he spoke to when he looked up.
'I brought the guitars out.' He said inclining his head to two acoustic guitars propped against the table.
Jacob let go of my hand and rubbed his fingers across the back of his neck 'I don't know, man, everybody's having a good time, I don't want to kill
the buzz.'
Edward laughed 'Most of them are too loaded to care!' He handed Jacob a guitar 'Come on! Alice is disconnecting the outside speakers, the
music will still be on in the house.' He turned to me 'You don't mind if I steal him away for a little while do you?'
I frowned at him, confused by his phrasing, he quirked an eyebrow expectantly 'No!' I said and Jacob sighed as Edward pushed him along the
path.
I drained my glass and went inside to get more while Jacob and Edward sat in the corner of the garden fiddling with the guitars, probably tuning
them. A few people were already heading outside and I saw Jasper move the speakers from the windows and take them deeper into the house. I
grabbed the first wine bottle that came to hand and headed back outside, Jasper met me in the doorway.
'You having fun?' He asked.
'Sure.' I said distractedly as I noticed that Alice, Emmett, Lauren and Rosalie were now sitting at the table.
'Alice tells me Edward is bringing you to the Cullen's charity ball on Thursday.'
'Yes, he is.' I said fiddling with the screw cap on the wine bottle.
 He cupped my elbow and guided me through the kitchen and into the small utility room that was dark and empty beside it.
'Look,' he said closing the door behind us and flicking on the light 'I get all that you're trying to do Bella, and I want to support you, I want to see
you happy, but don't get sucked in by Edward Cullen.' He was swaying slightly and I realised he was a little drunk.
I rolled my eyes 'He is taking me to the ball as a friend, it's not a date, it would be much the same as if you were taking me.'
'Yeah, but I'd never try to get into your panties!'
I gasped and he at least had the good grace to look sheepish.
'I'm sorry,' he said 'that was uncalled for.'
'Yes it was,' I sighed 'I'm having a nice time today Jazz, let's not get into this, there really is no big drama. It's two friends going on a night out.'
'Oh so you're friends now?'
'Of course, he's my roommate, we could hardly be enemies.'
'Yeah, well I've been watching him today and he doesn't seem to like you spending so much time with Jacob.'
'What are you talking about? He's the one who is encouraging me to go out with Jacob.'
Jasper's eyes narrowed 'Why?'
I realised how that might sound and cursed myself for slipping 'I guess, like you, he just wants to support me and he seems to think that Jacob
and I would get on.'
'And are you?'
'Yes,' I nodded relieved to be speaking the truth 'we are getting on fine.'
He rubbed his hands through his hair 'I just want you to be happy Bella, but I want you to be careful too, I still think Edward has ulterior motives.'
'Maybe people who don't know anything about our relationship could say the same about you!' I touched his arm 'I know you care for me Jazz, but
I'm a big girl now, and I'm capable of making my own decisions.'
'I know,' He sighed 'but you promise me if you need anything, or even someone to talk to you'll come to me.'
'You'll be my first point of contact.' I promised.
He wrapped me in his arms and kissed my cheek 'Okay, let's go out and listen to your 'friends' sing'.
I swatted his arm playfully but I still felt a little disconcerted by his presumptions about Edward.
We made our way back outside to the table and Alice stood up and Jasper slid into her seat before pulling her down onto his lap, she wound her
arms around his neck and kissed him passionately, it seemed they were both a little tipsy. I put my wine bottle on the table, retrieved my glass and
poured before turning to Lauren who was sitting on the other side of me.
'Wine?' I asked holding the bottle up.
She turned and to my surprise her lips spread into a smile 'Thanks.' She said holding her glass out.
Rosalie declined, without a smile, so I set the bottle on the table and sat down.
'I noticed you dancing with Jacob,' Lauren said still facing him and Edward 'he's really hot isn't he?'
I thought about how hot his skin had been when we danced but I guessed that wasn't what she was referring to 'He's very handsome.' I said.
She giggled regarding me curiously then she smiled again and touched her glass to mine 'Here's to hot guys!' and she turned back to them.
I was surprised by her friendliness but didn't get a chance to question it as my attention was diverted when Jacob and Edward began to strum.
People were still talking around us but gradually they started to quiet down and by the time Jacob started singing he had the attention of everyone in
the garden.
His voice was strong and clear and he sang with passion as he strummed forcefully on the guitar. Edward didn't sing but his eyes were closed
and he seemed lost in the music too. I sipped my wine and alternated between watching Jacob and watching Edward. The song finished and the
garden erupted into enthusiastic applause and whistles.
They launched into a second song but this one was much slower and they were plucking the guitars rather than strumming them. Lauren picked
up the bottle of wine and refilled both our glasses 'I can't wait till Edward sings.' She whispered. 'You could get off on his voice alone!'
I ignored her and concentrated on the song Jacob was singing, it was so sweet and moving it brought a lump to my throat and I watched him over
the rim of my glass as he sung with his eyes closed. I stole a glance at Edward and almost dropped my glass when I thought he was looking at me,
even from this far away I could see how intense his eyes looked.
Lauren leaned close 'Jesus!' she hissed. My eyes jerked away and focussed on Lauren, she was smiling, no leering at Edward 'He's so fucking
hot, he's never looked at me like that before.'
I glanced back at Edward but he was looking down at his fingers now and seemed to be as absorbed in the music as Jacob was.
'Does he ever mention me?' Lauren asked, she was drunk, I could hear it in her voice 'I really thought he wasn't interested anymore, but fuck!
That look,' she grinned up at me 'just makes you want to fuck his brains out!' She bit her lip and sighed, clearly reliving something I didn't want to
contemplate.
I balked at her crudeness and grabbed my wine glass shoving it in front of my face in an effort to hide my reaction. I was sure he'd been looking
at me, but seeing the blatant arousal on her face suddenly made me feel sick.
'I need to go to the bathroom.' I muttered scrambling out of my seat and almost tripping over her legs. She was too far gone to notice.
Surprisingly, even though the garden was crowded, the house seemed to be even more crowded than earlier and I had to force my way through
to the stairs. I scurried up them and just made it to the bathroom in time to throw up!
I grimaced and flushed the toilet before turning on the tap and scooping some water into my mouth to rinse it. I opened the vanity drawer knowing
Alice kept a supply of new toothbrushes but the first thing I saw was a box of condoms.

Just makes you want to fuck his brains out.

My heart fell into my stomach as I thought of her reaction to Edward compared to how I'd reacted in Jacob's arms and it seemed to underline the
massive gulf between me and a normal girl like Lauren. I turned and threw up into the bowl again and sank to my knees.
Eventually I became aware of the sound of singing coming through the open window, it wasn't Jacob anymore and I went to the window and
opened it a little wider to look out. If you had blindfolded me I would never have pegged that voice as being Edward's.
He sang in thick smoky tones, raw with emotion, and heavily seductive. He was playing alone, Jacob wasn't in sight. I listened for a while but the
horrible taste in my mouth rendered my need to brush my teeth stronger than my need to listen to Edward. I went back to the drawer and found
several unopened toothbrushes.
I was cleaning my teeth when there was a light tap at the door, glancing at the bowl to make sure it was clean and I hadn't left any telltale mess I
called out 'Yes?'
'Bella?' It was Jacob, my eyes widened in alarm and I spat out the toothpaste and rinsed the brush before wiping my mouth. 'I have to leave now, I
just wanted to say goodbye.' His voice was muffled through the door. I opened it and he frowned 'Are you okay?'
'Too much wine!' I admitted and he smiled sympathetically.
'I gotta go and help my dad get ready for bed.' He said jerking his thumb down the hall.
'Oh right,' I said standing awkwardly in the doorway, should I shake his hand? Kiss his cheek?
He turned to leave.
'Jacob,' I said 'you were very good,' He quirked an eyebrow 'the singing.' I elaborated.
I was vaguely aware of the sound of applause coming from the garden. He stepped towards me and lifted his arms up and gripped the top of the
door frame, I was rooted to the spot 'I had a nice time.' He said quietly and his body seemed to take up far too much space around me.
I didn't feel as intimidated as I had when we danced 'Me too.' I said finally looking into his eyes.
'I'd like to take you out on a date and not an imaginary one this time,' he breathed and despite the show of masculinity in his stance the
vulnerability in his eyes endeared me 'if you'd like?'
I nodded 'Yes I'd like that.'
He blew out a long breath as if he'd been holding it in and his hands dropped to his sides as he smiled 'Great.'
I blushed at his enthusiasm.
He lifted his hand and touched my shoulder before leaning in, I turned my cheek to him and he kissed it lightly 'I'll call you,' he breathed his face
still millimetres from mine 'bye.'
I turned intending to watch him walk away but instead I saw Edward walking towards us.
'I gotta go.' Jacob said grabbing his hand and shaking it.
Edward clapped his hand on his shoulder 'The guitars are in your car.' He said.
Jacob thanked him and disappeared down the stairs with one last smile for me before he went.
 'You missed my singing,' Edward smiled, though it seemed forced 'I'm offended.' He placed a mocking hand on his chest.
'Sorry, I felt a bit sick.' I explained.
He looked concerned and moved closer, I was still standing in the doorway. 'You've really been knocking back the wine all day, I'm surprised you
lasted this long.'
'How would you know?' I asked failing to keep the bitter edge out of my voice 'I've hardly seen you all day.'
'Yeah, well you had Jacob to keep you company.'
'He just asked me out so it looks like your mission has been accomplished!' I groused.
I put my hands on his chest intending to push him away but as soon as I touched him his hands gripped my shoulders 'How was it?' he asked and
suddenly his eyes were burning into mine. 'Dancing with him? Touching him?'
'God! I really need to take a piss!' A woman's voice shrieked and we could hear her coming upstairs.
We jumped apart and the woman came scurrying down the hall and looked at us enquiringly 'Is there a line?'
'No,' I shook my head and stood away from the open door 'It's free, go ahead.'
She smiled gratefully and ducked in closing the door behind her. Edward took a step towards me again.
'I should get back downstairs.' I said turning away, he'd hurt me already today with his flippant comment about last night in the kitchen, I wasn't
about to hang around and let him cheapen anything else.
He tried to grab my arm but I evaded his grasp and I heard him sigh as he followed me downstairs.
Someone had rigged the outside speakers up again and through the open patio doors I could see people dancing. I stepped back out into the
garden, Alice was still perched on Jasper's knee but Emmett and Rosalie were dancing and Lauren was passed out on the chair.
'There you are!' Jasper called and I could tell he was very drunk 'We were just going to send out a search party for you.'
Edward came out behind me and handed me a soda, I thanked him without looking up.
'Where's Jacob?' Jasper called.
I moved closer and avoiding Lauren sat in Emmett's seat 'He had to go home.'
I noticed that Edward hadn't followed me to the table, instead he was talking to a group people on the patio.
'So did he ask you out?' Alice asked and I turned to face them.
'Yeah.'
'That's good isn't it?' She said and I realised my response had been less than enthusiastic.
Edward was making his way over now. 'Yes of course it is.'
'I think you'll be fine with him, Bella,' Jasper slurred 'he's a really cool dude!'
I sniggered 'You've been sitting with Emmett too long!'
He shifted in his seat and Alice scooted off and sat in the chair beside him, he leaned forward 'No I mean it, I'm sorry about all that shit earlier.'
he said leaning closer to me and taking my hand, I glanced nervously at Alice but she didn't seem concerned at all. 'I worry about you, I really do, of
course you know that already, ha, everybody knows that already,' he hiccupped 'but I want you to be happy,' he grabbed Alice's hand and pulled it
into his grip beside mine 'I want you to be as happy as me and Alice!'
He kissed both our hands and Alice smirked and shook her head knowingly, he looked at her 'No, no, I'm being serious Alice, I just want Bella to
know what it's like to be in love!'
'It's one date, Jasper!' I pointed out, stealing a glance at Edward who was busying himself trying to pry the half full wine glass out of Lauren's
hands without waking her.
'Yes but one date leads to another, then another, and he's really cool, he brought Alice flowers,' he was rambling now 'who does that? I'll tell you
who, nice guys do that!' he looked pointedly at Edward and I was glad that he was otherwise occupied.
I removed my hand from Jasper's grip and stood up 'Listen, I've got work in the morning, I'm going to call a cab.'
Edward looked up 'You don't need to, Emmett's driving me home,' he glanced over at Emmett and Rosalie wrapped together on the grass 'if you
don't mind waiting a little while.'
 'No that's fine.' I said sitting back down.
'He better be good to you,' Jasper was still rambling 'cause if he isn't...'
'Right you!' Alice said pulling him up to his feet 'Let's get you up to bed.'
He leered at her 'Yes please!'
Alice rolled her eyes and mouthed an apology before dragging him off to bed, he was still rambling about Jacob as he went.
'Well, looks like you've got his seal of approval.' Edward said a little sourly.
'Not that I need it,' I insisted 'but it's nice to have him on board, for a change.'
I sat sipping my soda while we watched Rosalie and Emmett dancing but then Lauren suddenly lurched forward and threw up at her feet.
'Great!' Edward hissed and then shouted on Rosalie.
Emmett came over and grimaced as he helped Rosalie lift Lauren out of the chair, Alice stepped out into the garden and seeing the mess
dashed back inside again. She emerged moments later with a bucket of soapy water and Edward and I moved the table while she poured it over
the mess.
'Looks like the party's over.' She groaned.
Edward opened the door and swung it open motioning for me to go first, I stepped inside and flicked on the light before taking off my shoes and
Jacket and dumping them at the coat stand. 'God, it's been a long day!' I sighed heading to my room 'You know I'm actually glad I threw up earlier,
or I'd probably be in the same state Lauren is in now.'

Edward closed the door and followed me 'Yep, I'm so glad I wasn't taking that home!'
I remembered Lauren's crudeness from earlier 'It's not like you haven't taken her home before.'
His brow furrowed.
'I'm sorry,' I said 'I don't know where that came from.'
He sat down on heavily on the sofa and kicked off his shoes 'I told you I wouldn't do that until this' he motioned his finger between us 'is over, and I
guess that won't be too long now.'
'Don't start with the Jacob stuff again.' I sighed wearily. 'I'm going on one date with him, why is everyone trying to marry us off already?' I slid on to
the sofa beside him.
'This is what you want,' he pointed out 'to start dating and he's a n..'
'A nice guy! I know! You said that a million times already.' I leaned back on the sofa and craned my neck to look at him, he was resting
backwards with his eyes closed 'Why did you ask me how it felt dancing with him earlier?'
His eyes opened and he turned to look down at me 'I was just curious to know how you thought it went today.' I crooked an eyebrow 'Did it feel
okay, when he danced with you?'
I sighed 'I was a little tense.'
'What about when he kissed your cheek?'
Something in the timbre of his voice bothered me but maybe not in a bad way 'It kind of felt like when my dad kissed my cheek.' I snorted 'I mean,
a kiss on the cheek is just a kiss on the cheek no matter who gives it, right?'
He smiled 'I guess.'
'Unless you want to disprove that statement.' I was only half joking but his instant frown disappointed me 'What?' I asked turning so I was side on
facing him.
'You're getting all flirty.' He accused lightly.
'And not doing a very good job of it by the looks of things.' I huffed.
'It doesn't feel right,' he sighed 'Not when you've spent the day doing it with Jacob and he's at home now probably going over it in his mind and
looking forward to the date..' He quirked an eyebrow at me 'do you understand what I'm getting at.'
I stood up 'Yep, you paint quite the picture, I feel totally guilty now. But for the record, I wasn't flirting with him today.'
He gripped my hand and I looked down at him 'He's a friend, this isn't easy for me.' His eyes were soft 'I'm not trying to make you feel guilty, I'm
just saying maybe this doesn't feel right any more.'
 'We made an agreement, before Jacob came on the scene, I haven't even been out with him yet. It's not like we're cheating,' He stood up and I
took a step back 'Its just two people sticking to their agreement.'
I turned to go but his hands caught me and he pulled me close I looked up as he dipped his head and waited for his lips to reach mine but they
didn't. His hand snaked up my neck and cupped my face, he smiled seductively and turned my head gently to the right before he began his slow
descent.
His warm breath fanned my face and tickled my neck as his fingers caressed the nape of my neck. His lips finally brushed my skin ever so gently.
They were only slightly parted and I could feel the faintest flick of his tongue before his lips closed and the soft swell of my cheek was sucked gently
into his mouth and then released.
He finished by brushing his lips across the skin he'd sucked while his thumb brushed my other cheek and then pulled back and looked into my
eyes. He lifted one eyebrow.
'You just love proving me wrong.' I griped.
He looked into my eyes 'I'm sorry I didn't spend much time with you today,' He said softly 'I'll make it up to you next week, when we go on our
'date' I'll be the perfect gentleman I promise.'
a/n I don't mean to ramble but I have a couple of points. Inge80 pointed out that in Holland they give flowers etc to hosts all the time
which is great. I just added it because to me it seems to be a dying thing these days that people bring a gift to informal things like a
barbecue. It's nice to be nice!
Also how do you feel about Edward's behaviour at the barbecue?
Thanks! And I might post another update tomorrow. Since you have all been so good with your reviews! xxxx
Chapter 15
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Okay I won't ramble today! Promise!
Thanks for each and every review! I am happy!
This chapter is sweet and hot and I hope you agree.
IF IT'S MOTHER'S DAY WHERE YOU ARE, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, HAVE A GOOD ONE!
For the next couple of days I did nothing but work, study and sleep. Edward had managed to get himself a stint at the hospital, it was another
work experience type thing that I didn't really understand. Someone had dropped out and Edward had managed to wangle his place but it meant
staying at the hospital for three days.
On Tuesday night Charlie called to catch up.
'How's the wrist?' He asked, I could hear the television in the background and flicked through the channels on mine till I found the same one.
'Fine, It'll be another four weeks till I get the caste off.' I said 'It's driving me insane, it's so limiting.'
'Are you managing okay at college?'
'I'm getting by.' I said, the adverts were still on but I knew as soon as the game came back on he'd make his excuses and get off the phone.
'At least you've got Jasper there to help you at home.'
The only person in the world more protective then Jasper was Charlie, so we hadn't told him that Jasper had moved out because, college or no
college, Charlie would have me out of here quicker than you could say over-my-dead-body.
'Hmm mm.' I answered vaguely.
The game came back on and I waited for him to wind it down.
'So I was thinking of coming to see you this weekend.' He said taking me by surprise.
'You? Come here?'
'Sure, I do know how to get to Seattle, Bells.' His said in amused tones.
'Why?'
'Can't a man just pay his daughter a visit?'
'Dad, what's up?' The game was up and running now and I knew he had something on his mind if it was keeping him away from it.
'Are you free on Saturday?' He ignored my question.
'I'm working both days this weekend.' I said, 'But I finish at four on Saturday, if you come later we could go out to dinner and you could sleep on
the sofa..' I hesitated 'If you want.'
There was a long pause 'Um... I'm ..um.. not coming alone.'
'Oh,' I said trying to hide the mirth in my voice 'are you bringing Sue?'
He coughed 'Um yeah!'
'Well, that's even better, we can all have dinner together,' I took a deep breath 'but you'll probably have to book into a hotel, I don't have enough
room for you both here.'
He coughed again and I could almost feel the heat of his embarrassment through the phone line. 'Yeah, I'll..uh.. see what Sue thinks and get back
to you on that.'
'Okay dad, now get back to your game.'
'Bella?' He said quietly.
'Yes?'
'Thanks.'
 'Bye dad, I love you.'
The line disconnected and I smiled at the telephone long after I put the receiver down, I knew what he was thanking me for. A year ago, in fact a
month ago, I might have been appalled at the thought of him and Sue spending a night in a hotel together and I would have told him as much. I made
myself some coffee and sat on the sofa, the game still blaring but unwatched from the television. I thought about Charlie and how he wouldn't be
quite so accommodating if he found out about Edward living here.
I went back to the phone and called Jasper.
'I need a favour.' I asked as soon as he picked up.
'Anything,' he laughed 'and hello to you to.'
'Oh, yeah, hi!' I smiled 'Listen, Dad's coming to Seattle this weekend, I need you to stay here on Saturday night, just in case.'
'Um, I'll need to check with Alice in case she has any plans.'
'No, just you!' I said 'So he'll think you still live here.'
'Yeah, I get that Bella, I just mean, I need to check in case Alice has made plans for us.'
'Oh right,' I blushed 'but please try.'
'What about Edward?'
'Maybe he could sleep in your spare room, it's just one night.'
Jasper chuckled 'I'm sure Edward will have no trouble finding a bed for the night.'
'Just ask Alice!' I snapped.
I spent Wednesday evening in the library catching up on some much needed reading, I could have gone home to the apartment but I was tired of
sitting in there on my own and since the library was relatively busy I was enjoying the short breaks of people watching between my bursts of reading.
I searched through the electronic catalogue for some reference books I needed and then a thought struck me and I typed in a new search.
Several titles came up and I blushed when I realised most of them were in the Teen Non-fiction section. I got off my chair and walked towards that
section but seeing a couple of girls giggling in the corner I walked purposefully past them as if I was heading for the section in the far corner.
The girls didn't look like they were in any hurry to leave so I abandoned my whim and decided it was probably time to go home anyway. I picked
up some Chinese food on the way since I didn't really feel like cooking for one.
I smiled as soon as I opened the door and heard the TV. Edward was back.
He was sprawled on the sofa, his overnight bag and shoes discarded on the floor, at first I thought he was sleeping until he craned his neck and
smiled up at me.
'How was the hospital?'
He grinned broadly 'I'm gonna love being an intern.'
It thrilled me to see him so passionate about his work, 'Have you eaten?' I asked holding up my take out cartons.
'No, but you don't really have a lot there.' He observed sitting up.
'There's some bread and cheese in the fridge, we can stretch it out.'
As we ate he spoke enthusiastically about his past couple of days and then the conversation turned to me.
'How have you been coping?' He asked pointing his fork at my cast.
I looked down at it, it was getting pretty grubby looking now but there wasn't a lot I could do about that. 'Not too bad.'
His fork rose and pointed at my hair 'I noticed your hair is scraped back.'
'I haven't really managed to wash it properly, I've done my best but it's not really fit for anything but a ponytail.' I frowned touching my hand to it self
consciously.
'What about a bath?'
'What?' I almost choked on my food.
He chuckled 'Have you been managing to take a bath?'
'Oh,' I blushed 'Yes, it's just doing my hair that's still proving difficult.'
 'I'll wash your hair for you, tonight if you want' he grinned 'I'll even use the conditioner and wait for the..what is it.. two minutes?'
'Yes, two minutes.' I smiled 'Thank you.'
I cleared away our plates and, since I'd been eating off plastic plates this week for convenience, dumped them in the trash. Edward took his
things into his room and I stood at the kitchen window wondering if he meant washing my hair while I was in the bath or washing it after I took a bath.
I was too embarrassed to ask him.
I went to my own room, opened my closet and pulled out the dress Alice had lent me, it was a midnight blue knee length dress. It had a tight
bodice with a straight neckline and thin spaghetti straps. The skirt was full and floaty and when I'd tried it on, Alice had made me do a little twirl that
sent the skirt swirling around my legs. I loved it.
She also lent me a pair of silver strappy sandals, a silver clutch bag and chiffon wrap that matched the dress. I was really looking forward to the
event, I'd never been to anything that had required me to dress up so glamorously, but I also worried that I would look out of place.
I put the dress back in the closet and set about getting my things for my bath, it would be best for me to get my bath and then once I was out
Edward could wash my hair for me. I went to the bathroom and turned on the taps, I hurried back to my room and stripped off, wrapping my robe
around me before heading to the kitchen to get another plastic bag for my cast.
I sat on the sofa and cut the plastic bag before wrapping some tape around it and sticking it to my cast. Edward came out just as I was finishing
up.
'Are you taking a bath right now?' He walked towards me and sat down on the coffee table next to the leg I had propped up on it.
'Yes, when I'm done, you can come and wash my hair,' I smiled 'If that's okay.'
'Of course.' He said.
I went back to the bathroom and got into the bath, I relaxed back against the bubbles for a while before I finally summoned up the energy to wash.
It took forever to shave my legs with my left hand and even longer to do my armpits, since I could barely grip the razor with my left hand. There was
no way I was asking Edward to do this particular task.
Finally satisfied with my labours I got out of the bath, towelled myself dry and put on clean underwear and my robe. I called Edward and he came
in carrying a chair which he placed at the sink and I took up the same position I had previously.
While he washed my hair I told him about Charlie's plans to come to Seattle at the weekend and I think I might have managed to hide my
pleasure when he agreed to spend the night at Alice's. He sat on the edge of the bath while we waited for the conditioner to work.
'This is really good of you, Edward.' I said, my head lolling back against the makeshift pillow he'd made out of a towel.
'Yeah, well if I don't make it as a doctor, then maybe I can forge a career in hairdressing.'
'I wouldn't go that far!' I sniggered.
After he'd rinsed my hair and wrapped it in a towel I followed him back to the living room. He sat behind me on the sofa and rubbed my hair with
the towel, it wasn't completely necessary but I was enjoying being pampered so I let him continue with the task. He picked up the TV remote and
flicked through the channels.
'There's a chick flick on if you want to watch it?' He said and I was aware he was nestling in behind me.
I couldn't say I was entirely enamoured of the term "chick-Flick" but I decided to indulge him 'What's it about?'
He scooped my legs up so I was lying across the sofa and he was spooned behind me. 'You've never seen this?' He seemed surprised as he
pointed the remote at the TV 'Ghost.'
'Is it scary?'
He chuckled and I sighed at the soft rumble of his chest behind me 'No, I think you might like it.'
At first it was difficult to keep my eyes focussed on the screen and my mind on the plot, I was completely aware of his body curled behind mine
but not just that, I was also concerned by this sudden show of affection. Ever since the barbecue, he had changed, it was as if he was making a
concerted effort to be nicer to me. He was dictating the pace now and I was starting to like it.
The romance of the film soon caught my attention and I found myself absorbed in the wildly sentimental plot and all ruminations about Edward
were forgotten. By the end of the film I was in tears and Edward was snoring softly behind me.
I turned to face him and he stirred slightly but didn't wake, I took the rare opportunity to study his face. His skin was so smooth it looked like he
didn't even have pores, his eyelashes fanned out over his cheeks, thick and glorious. It was his lips that captivated me most, they were so full and
utterly inviting.
Almost without thinking my hand snaked up the front of his body and my thumb brushed gently over his lower lip, I was so focussed on the soft
fullness of it that I almost missed the shift of his mouth before it enveloped my thumb.
 My eyes darted to his and I gasped when I found his were open and blazing God were they blazing!
His tongue circled my thumb before he sucked it into his mouth, his eyes flicked to mine and then he brushed away the remnants of my tears with
his own thumb.
'You enjoyed the film then?' he smiled letting my thumb drop from his mouth.
I laughed only slightly embarrassed 'It was stupid.'
He cupped my cheek 'The stupid ones are the best.'
I felt myself drawn to him like a magnetic force and I lowered my head and pressed my lips to his, he responded eagerly, flipping me onto my
back and devouring my mouth. Suddenly his few days away felt like months and like I was emerging from a desert into the most satisfying oasis.
My fingers itched to touch his bare skin, the ache between my legs throbbed and thankfully he addressed all of this when he spoke.
'We need to take this into my room.'
I leapt off the couch and he chuckled as he joined me. He lifted me into his arms and I wrapped my legs around his waist claiming his lips again
as he strode to his room. This was the boldest we'd ever been and it was not a moment too soon in my eyes.
He lowered me onto his bed and somewhat disappointingly settled at my side. However I wasn't disappointed for long as he crushed himself to
me and his tongue plunged into my mouth at the same time as he buried both hands in my hair.
I met his tongue with mine full force as I clutched at his shirt, I brought my hand up intending to run my fingers through his hair, but too late I
remembered the cast just as it clunked against his head.
'Ow!' He hissed breaking the kiss. He grinned though and flicked the light off.
I giggled an apology before pulling his lips back to mine, his kisses were fevered as his fingers bit into my scalp, then he raised his head and
grinned at me before I felt his fingers tickle the skin beneath my robe and he started to untie the belt. He pulled the edges of my robe apart slightly
and I sagged back onto the pillows.
His head dipped and I cried out when he flattened his tongue against my belly and boldly licked right across it. 'Oh God, that feels good.' I hissed.
He parted the robe wider following his fingers with his tongue, lapping at me as if I was made of ice cream. There was an urgency, a boldness
about him that I hadn't witnessed before and it seemed to ignite a similar reaction in me. I arched my back in invitation as he finally opened it
completely exposing my breasts.
'Bella!' He hissed and it was a mixture of delight and warning. His head came higher and the faint moonlight glittered in his eyes as he looked at
me, he opened his mouth to speak but I gripped his face in my hands and raised my mouth to his ear.
I bit his earlobe gently 'Don't say anything,' I begged 'I need you!'
He kissed me briefly on the mouth and cupped both my breasts making me cry out again, he slid one hand beneath me and arched my back. His
mouth hovered over my breast and I looked down at him just as he sucked it into his mouth, he pulled back opening his mouth wider and almost
took my entire breast into his mouth.
My head lolled back for a moment and by the time he moved to my other breast I was aching with need for him, I hooked my arm under him and
being careful because of the cast I pulled him closer to me. I felt his erection against my hip and we both groaned but it wasn't enough, I lowered my
arm and tried to push his hip upwards.
My breast popped out of his mouth and he looked up at me 'What are you doing?' He whispered, between ragged breaths.
He lifted himself up slightly to look at me and I seized my chance sliding my hips so I was directly beneath him. He closed his eyes tight for a
moment before they slowly opened and focussed on me 'Bella,' his voice was husky but tender 'you feel so fucking good, I don't know if I can go any
further without stopping.'
His honesty confounded me, I lifted my head and kissed him, his arms wobbled slightly and he lowered himself onto me. His erection was hard
against my lower belly and I pulled his tongue into my mouth as I shifted my hips higher and opened my legs for him.
A long wordless moan emanated from me as he pressed himself hard against my mound, my eyes rolled back and I knew what he meant about
scratching an itch. He stilled for a moment and then his hand smoothed down over my bare skin, down past my hip and thigh and curled around the
delicate skin at the back of my knee. Thank God I shaved my legs!
He hitched my leg around his waist and I hummed in ecstasy when he pressed himself fully against my centre. My hips moved of their own
volition and the friction was immense and just what I'd been looking for.
'Oh! Edward, please don't stop,' I hissed into his ear as his lips started their delicious descent again 'promise me you won't stop, it's so good.'
'Fuck Bella,' he groaned as his lips reached my nipple 'you're killing me.'
He pulled my other leg around his waist and started grinding harder against me as he sucked hard on my breast. My fingers were in his hair, his
were cupping me to him, his lips were frenzied on my writhing body and through all of this I could feel a hot tension coiling tighter within me.
The room was filled with the sounds of our gasps and it heightened the pleasure coursing through me. I couldn't think, I could only feel.
I started to moan louder and my hips undulated in time with his, the ache was screaming through me now and a strange feeling was brewing in
my lower abdomen. I kept gasping his name as it got stronger, something was going to happen, I could feel it, my body seemed to be flying on auto
pilot as it strained towards something I couldn't comprehend. But I couldn't stop it, I wouldn't.
The darkness enveloped me every one of my senses started to constrict around me, narrowing into one tiny point like switching off an old
television and the everything suddenly goes black except for one tiny white dot that is left in the centre of the screen.
That white dot was right between my legs now and I focussed on it as it started to grow, I could feel prickles in my hair, on my skin, behind my
eyes and still it grew, opening like a flower, burning like the sun. I could hear the moaning and then it was his name as the damn burst and my body
began to convulse beneath him as my hips bucked and my eyes rolled back in pure white hot pleasure.
His face was buried in my neck now and he was gasping my name as his own hips bucked wildly and then his movements slowed, became
gentler until the room was quiet and I burst into happy tears.
'I'm okay,' I whispered when I felt him stiffen 'I'm okay, I promise.'
He pulled up to look at me and even though I couldn't see him clearly his concern was evident.
I smiled and cupped his cheek, tears were still falling as I spoke 'That was wonderful.'
He dropped his forehead to mine and we lay like that while our hearts hammered and our breathing slowed. Eventually, he sat up and fixed my
robe before tightening the belt around me. Satisfied with my state of dress he propped himself on his elbow and looked down at me.
'Are you sure you're okay?' He wiped my tears away with his thumb.
I nodded 'Did I..?' I faltered.
He bent and kissed me lightly 'Yes.' He whispered.
My heart flipped in my chest 'Did you?'
He smiled and I thought that if there was light I might see a touch of colour in his cheeks. 'I didn't intend it to go that far, Bella.'
'You said I could set the pace.' I reminded him.
He sat up fully on the edge of the bed and raked his fingers through his hair, I could hear the desperation in his voice when he said 'I never
intended it to get this far.'
I sat up now too, 'Didn't you like it?' I was confused, maybe it was different for men.
He pulled me tight against his chest and I could hear the hammering of his heart, but he said nothing more.
Eventually he pressed his lips to my head and rubbed my arm affectionately, the connection was gone.
'Please don't regret this in the morning.' I whispered.
He slid his finger under my chin and tilted my face up, his kiss was tender and heartbreakingly sweet 'Never.'
a/n The dawn of realisation is coming soon for one of them. As always please let me have your thoughts. I'm off to clean my
mother's house (even though it's not mother's day here) I hope to have some thoughts when I get back. x
Chapter 16
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Today has been an AWESOME day! The reviews have just been pouring in! I love it! They are so detailed and I have been grinning
like a fool all day! Thank you to the regulars and thank you to the people who have reviewed for the first time. I love you all! Lol!
I am totally buzzing with this story now. One reviewer mentioned the story is a little slow and I tend to agree but it had to be, so that
is why I am adding this chapter tonight. The next few will propel the story forward I promise.
Anyway, as a little reward here's a nice little chapter (I hope). We've had some little lemons, this is a little romance and I hope you
like it.
I was eating lunch alone in the corner of the canteen when Jasper thumped his tray down on the table scaring the life out of me.
'Sorry!' He said turning the chair backwards and straddling it 'I didn't mean it to hit the table so hard.' He picked up a French fry and chewed on it
'You looking forward to tonight?'
'Yes, I can't wait.' I smiled enthusiastically, glad that his animosity towards my 'date' seemed to have finally waned.
'I'm a little bit nervous to be honest, it sounds like kind of a big deal.' He admitted.
'Me too!' I giggled 'I'm excited about it but what if I do something stupid like drink from the bowl your meant to dip your fingers in or knock a glass
of wine over someone's ten thousand dollar dress.'
He laughed loudly 'If you drink from that bowl and get funny looks, I'll do it too and we'll pretend it's a Forks tradition.'
It felt so good to be like this with him again.
'Alice lent me a beautiful dress,' I said picking at my sandwich and tearing off tiny bite sized pieces before popping them into my mouth 'so I think
I'll be dressed appropriately at least. She knows what's required. What about you? Have you got a tux?'
He nodded 'I rented one, I'm picking it up when I leave here.' He looked at me and grinned 'There'll be dancing!'
I groaned 'I know!' I held my dirty cast up 'But I'm pretty sure this will put anyone off from asking me.'
We talked through the rest of lunch, I asked about his father, we wondered aloud what Charlie's impending visit might mean and all the while I
kept waiting for him to slip in a dig about Edward but it never came.
I stood in front of the full length mirror in my room, the dress fit beautifully and I had managed to tease my hair into soft waves, using the old set of
heated rollers, that I'd bought from a garage sale when I was going through my, 'make more of an effort phase'. This was the first time I'd ever used
them and I had to admit I was sort of pleased with the result.
I'd decided against putting the sandals on just yet since the heel was higher than I was used to and there really was no point in prolonging the
agony. I applied a little make up and then sat on the edge of my bed fiddling with the silver bracelette Charlie had given me for my 18th Birthday.
My mind drifted back to last night and for the hundredth time today a small involuntary moan escaped my throat and my insides clenched. I'd lain
awake for a long time when I got back to my room and the memory of it both excited and disturbed me in equal measure.
It excited me because I'd never known it was possible to feel something as intensely pleasurable and wonderful as that but it disturbed me for
very different reasons. It felt like Edward was right, we probably had taken things further than we should have, while I could not regret it there was still
a part of me that worried I had shared something with Edward that I shouldn't have.
I was beginning to feel that he might ruin me for anyone else, being with him was utterly enjoyable in every sense, even the times when we simply
talked over a meal or swapped stories about our day. I was starting to think that it might not be possible to just walk away from this and find it with
someone else.
The front door closing snapped me out of my reverie and I heard Edward rushing up the hallway, I came out of my room just in time to see him
dart into his, he came back out seconds later and offered me a rueful smile.
'I'm sorry I'm late, it'll take me ten minutes to shower and shave, I promise!' He said heading straight for the bathroom but when he got to the
doorway he stopped and turned 'You look beautiful by the way.' He smiled and then he ducked into the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
I sat on the sofa drinking a glass of water while Edward darted around the apartment muttering to himself and rooting about in drawers for
random things, he turned down my offer of help. My mind wandered back to last night yet again and I shifted on the sofa as the waves of desire
washed over me.
'You okay?'
I looked up to find him standing in his bedroom doorway watching me. My eyes almost popped out on stalks, he looked absolutely devastating in
his suit and my mouth went dry instantly. My eyes dropped to the shiny shoes on his feet and travelled up his impossibly long legs appreciating the
way the pants were perfectly cut to fit. He was leaning against the door frame, one hand in his pocket and I swallowed as the sudden desire to run
my hands up his muscular thighs almost overwhelmed me.
His shirt was cream, not white, and complimented the natural tones of his skin and my eyes honed in on the soft sprinkling of hair peeking out of
the open neckline of his shirt. What I wouldn't give to swirl my tongue across that skin and up towards that rugged jaw. His lips curved into a sexy
smile and I found myself smiling back as my eyes finally met his.
'I asked if you are okay?' He said softly pushing away from the frame and moving towards me 'You looked a little distracted.'
'Oh! It's nothing,' I said snapping out of my trance 'aren't you wearing a tie?'
He raised his hand and I saw the black silk tie draped across his palm 'Would you mind?'
'Of course not!' I said only happy to be given something to do other than ogle him.
He walked towards me as I moved towards him and we met half way. I pulled his collar up and slid the tie around his neck, I tried hard to ignore
the warmth of his breath on my face and the fact that I could smell a mixture of toothpaste and his spicy cologne. My fingers fumbled slightly as I
knotted his tie and then I couldn't stop the soft sigh as my fingers brushed his neck as I turned his collar down again.
As I removed my hands he covered them with his and then held them in one hand as his other one touched my hair. I stood still as he slid a curl
around his finger 'You look beautiful tonight, Bella.'
His voice was breathy and made my heart constrict. 'You said that already but thank you,' I whispered 'So do you!' He quirked an eyebrow and I
all at once I could see him sitting beside me in bed telling me men didn't like to be called that. A blush warmed my cheeks 'You look very
handsome.' I amended.
'Since Alice and Jasper will be there tonight, I guess I should kiss you now.' He breathed pulling me gently closer.
I tilted my face up and his head dipped, he pressed his lips gently to mine at first but within seconds his arm snaked around my back and he
crushed me to him. I opened my mouth and accepted his tongue as my hands stayed clamped between us. All too soon he pulled away and smiled
at me.
'We better get going.'
I looked up at his hair which was as wild as always 'Aren't you going to do something with your hair?' I asked with a smirk.
He pointed to my grubby looking cast 'I'm leaving it like this in honour of that. This way we are both sporting something that doesn't quite
conform.'
During the taxi ride he held my hand the whole time and I loved the way he rhythmically brushed his thumb across the back of my hand.
There were a lot of cars backed up outside the venue so Edward paid the cab driver and we got out a couple of blocks away. I pulled the wrap
around my shoulders and held the clutch bag beneath my arm. Edward walked beside me with one hand in his pocket and the other brushing mine
but not holding it.
As we got nearer I could see lots of stunningly attractive women and handsome men striding purposefully up the stairs and into the building
through the massive glass doors. Edward held my elbow as he led me up the steps and into the lobby. The opulence of the surroundings unnerved
me but it was hard not to be excited about attending such a prestigious event.
Edward kept a hold of my arm as he manoeuvred me through the throng of bodies, occasionally stopping to speak to someone and introducing
me to so many people that I knew it was futile to try to remember names.
Eventually he guided me into an alarmingly full elevator and I stood patiently by his side as it climbed to the 76th floor. The doors slid open and
we stepped out into a large circular room with windows that were so large around the circumference that it seemed as if the walls were made of
glass.
I wanted to go straight to the windows and admire the view but before I could get the chance Edward whispered in my ear 'Here come Uncle
Carlisle and Aunt Esme.'
I turned to see them walk towards us 'Uncle' Carlisle had light blonde hair that was swept back off his face, his face was strangely elegant with
high cheekbones, straight proud nose and a full mouth that was perhaps slightly too small compared to the rest of his features. 'Aunt' Esme was
small and demure with soft wavy brown hair and her wide smile was already friendly and inviting.
Edward introduced me to them as his roommate as he had done to the others downstairs, both of them shook my hand and welcomed me
warmly before ushering Edward and I to our table. Jasper and Alice were already seated and Alice jumped to her feet to greet us.
'Bella,' she cooed taking my hands and spreading them wide before scanning my attire 'that dress looks divine on you, you should keep it!' She
pulled me forwards and kissed my cheek.
'No, no, I couldn't.' I said, then remembering myself 'You look stunning as always Alice.'
She was wearing a figure hugging, off the shoulder, deep pink dress which had a large bow on one shoulder. The tight skirt rested just above the
knee and showed off her shapely legs to perfection. She was wearing impossibly high heels and for once stood slightly taller than me. She turned
her attention to Edward and Jasper stood up at last.
'Hey, Jazz.' I said quietly.
He stood up 'You look stunning,' he grinned 'you should wash more often.'
He kissed my cheek and then when he pulled away he looked over my head and I knew he was looking at Edward.
'Hey!' He said simply and shook his hand.
Esme and Carlisle joined us with another two couples that were introduced as associates' of Carlisle's and in the ensuing round of introductions
and handshakes Jasper didn't have to say anything further to Edward.
Edward and I were seated at the opposite side of the table to Jasper and Alice and I was relieved, despite Jasper's apparent resolve to behave
I still had the horrible feeling of being under scrutiny, it felt like he was waiting for Edward to do something that he could point to and yell 'Ha! I told
you!'
'Jasper's being unusually polite.' Edward murmured in my ear as he bent to push my chair in.
I might have known Edward would miss nothing 'I think he's finally getting used to the idea that I'm an adult.' I said smiling.
'And not before time.' He seemed amused.
Waiters milled around between the tables carrying trays of champagne, Edward took two glasses and handed one to me, I took a sip and when I
turned to lay it on the table I caught Jasper's eye and he raised his glass to me.
The meal was lovely and I decided not to drink anything other than the one glass of champagne, Edward had given me. One of the waiters
brought me a glass of iced water and I sipped it gratefully. I managed to get through the meal without making any social faux pas' and it amused me
to see Jasper taking social clues from those around us just like I was doing.
Esme and Carlisle gave a short speech and then the music started and couples started drifting away from the tables and onto the dance floor.
Edward stood up and offered his hand to me.
I grimaced 'You know I don't like to dance.'
He simply chuckled and waggled his eyebrows at me 'Indulge me.'
I placed my hand in his and followed him as he weaved through the tables. I giggled as he theatrically twirled me into his arms and he caught me
as I almost tripped over on my heels. 'See!' I said raising my eyebrows.
Most of the other dancers were older couples and I didn't have a clue how to dance to this type of music. I felt foolish as I stumbled a few times
until Edward pulled me gently to the side of the dance floor.
'Take off your shoes.' He said.
'What? No!' I laughed.
He bent down and his warm hand circled my calf before he raised my leg and slipped my shoe off, my cheeks flamed as one couple glanced at
us curiously as they passed. 'Edward!' I hissed but he ignored me as he removed my other shoe and placed both of them discreetly under an empty
table.
He stood up and circled my waist with one hand while the other held my hand up to his chest. 'Jump on!' He smirked.
'I can't believe you're making me do this.' I sighed, mortified.
He lifted me gently and I placed my bare feet on top of his shoes 'No one will even notice.' He tried to assure me but I wasn't buying it.
He moved effortlessly around the floor as if I weighed nothing at all and his amused grin was hard to resist. 'Now isn't this fun?' He asked raising
his eyebrows.
'You are mad!' I said failing to keep the smile off my face.
We danced to three songs before I started to worry about his feet.
'Don't worry,' he said 'I'm fine.'
'I'd feel better if we took a rest.'
'We?' He grinned quirking an eyebrow, before spinning back to where he'd stashed my shoes.
I sat down on a chair and put them back on before he pulled me back to my feet, he stood for a beat looking at me then turned and led me back
to the table. Alice and Jasper were deep in conversation when we got back and Edward excused himself as I sat down next to Esme.
'Are you enjoying yourself dear?' She asked as I sat down being careful to keep my cast on my lap, it really did look grubby now and I wouldn't
dare put it anywhere near the table.
'Very much.' I smiled.
We talked for a while, mostly about me and then she expressed her surprise that Edward had brought me to the event. She wasn't being unkind
as she pointed out she was pleasantly surprised. I felt it would be a good idea to clarify the situation for her.
'I'm not actually his date,' I explained 'I think his date cancelled so I stepped in at the last minute.'
'Hmm,' she mused 'that is surprising, because in five years he has never brought a date to one of these galas.'
I didn't know how to respond to that but thankfully Edward returned to the table with two glasses of champagne and placed one in front of me.
'Thank you,' I smiled as Esme moved to let Edward sit in his chair 'I wasn't really going to drink any more.' I said eyeing the glass.
'Well, don't let me corrupt you.' He smiled with a waggle of his eyebrows. I watched as he took a sip from his own glass and then licked his lips.
I snatched my own glass up and downed half of it in one gulp.
Esme leaned forward and smiled at me 'I hope Edward isn't giving you too much trouble.'
'Sorry?' I asked not sure what she was meaning.
'Being your roommate, he can be quite the hell raiser when he wants to be.'
Edward frowned and I laughed.
'He studies most of the time.' I touched his arm 'Sorry, to damage your reputation.'
He smiled and Esme laughed looking up at him 'I'm glad you're knuckling down, this is a very important year for you. You did the right thing
moving out of Emmett's place.' She turned back to me 'I love that boy but he is just one of those boys who constantly surrounds himself with people,
Edward couldn't study in that environment.'
'I wish you two would stop talking as if I'm not here.' Edward said taking another sip of his champagne, he didn't seem angry at all, just slightly
bemused.
The conversation turned more serious between Esme and Edward and I turned to the dance floor and watched the couples lost in one another's
embraces. Carlisle approached the table smiled at Esme and she brushed past me as she made her way to his side and he led her to join the
other dancers.
I felt his hand brush the exposed skin on my back 'I don't suppose you'll want to dance again.' He murmured and his breath fanned warm across
my neck.
I shook my head but didn't turn to face him he had moved closer to me and I liked the feel of his breath on me. His hand stayed on my back and
small shivers buzzed up and down my spine as the warmth of his skin penetrated mine. I wished it was time to go, I wanted desperately for him to
take me home but the fact I wanted it so much is exactly the reason I didn't ask him.
Jasper and Alice returned to the table and I felt the coldness immediately when Edward moved away and removed his hand. I stole a glance at
Edward and he was looking into his glass pensively.
'So where is Jacob taking you tomorrow?' Jasper asked across the table and I almost groaned aloud.
'We haven't decided yet.' I said more amiably than I felt 'I guess we'll just play it by ear.'
'Is he picking you up?' Jasper asked and I nodded 'Good,' he continued 'you don't want to be meeting in some bar or restaurant you've never
been to.'
Alice nudged him and I guessed that she was reminding him not to get overbearing again.
Edward stood up and smiled at Alice 'I'm just going to say goodnight to the folks,' he turned to me 'I'll only be a couple of minutes and then I'll take
you home.'
I could see Jasper bristling as Edward walked away, Alice followed him and I went to Jasper's side.
'Thanks for being okay tonight.'
'I'm always okay.' He said with a forced smile 'What time do you want me on Saturday?'
I sighed 'I get in from work just after four, so maybe if you can be there just before that in case Charlie shows up early.'
'Sure!' He said and then threw his arm around my shoulder and pressed his lips to my forehead 'Are you sure you don't want Alice and I to share
a cab with you guys?'
'You don't go the same way as us.'
 'I know but I'm a bit worried, Edward'll do something when he gets you alone.'
'Jazz!' I hissed in warning.
'Do you let him rub your legs?'
I stared at him open mouthed 'We are not having this conversation, Edward is completely trustworthy, I trust him and that's all that matters.'
I stood up and grabbed my wrap and pulled it around my shoulders in preparation to leave.
Jasper stood up and handed me my bag. 'I'll see you on Saturday.' His voice was filled with an apology he didn't voice. I was glad that he was
coming on Saturday because it was clear we needed to talk.
I sighed and nodded before heading towards Edward who was waiting for me beside his Aunt and Uncle. I thanked them for a wonderful evening
and gratefully followed Edward to the Elevator.
Strangely the elevator seemed to be just as crowded as it had been when we arrived and it seemed we were part of a mass exodus. Outside
there was a long line of people waiting for cabs.
'Why don't we walk for a bit,' Edward suggested 'we might get lucky and manage to flag one down.'
It was a pleasant evening and even though I shivered slightly with only the wrap protecting my skin from the cool air I nodded eagerly. Edward
looked down at me and then removed his jacket and I slipped my arms gratefully into it.
'You were right when you said you'd be the perfect gentleman.' I smiled enjoying the strong whiff of his scent I caught from his collar.
Without warning he backed me up into a doorway and gently smoothed his fingers into my hair as his lips smothered mine. My heart soared as
his tongue slid into my mouth and he pulled me tight against him. He kissed me thoroughly before pulling away and whispering into my ear.
'I've wanted to do that all night.' He breathed.
I pulled back and looked at him 'Why?'
His eyes burned into mine 'Because tonight you're my date!'
This took me by surprise but it thrilled me, not least because I had been wanting him to do that all night. He bent and kissed me again and I
wound my arms around his neck as we deepened the kiss, his body was hot against mine and the sweet buzz of arousal that I was fast coming to
love thrummed through me.
'We need to get a cab!' I hissed urgently.
He chuckled 'Slow down, Bella,' He kissed the tip of my nose before taking my hand and leading me back out onto the street 'a walk will do us
both good.'
We walked until my feet started to hurt and then Edward flagged a passing cab down and we finally made it home. It seemed the walk had
served its purpose, for him at least, his ardour had more than cooled by the time we got into the apartment.
I pressed myself against him as soon as he closed the door but to my chagrin he gently gripped me and removed himself from my embrace 'It's
past midnight, Cinderella.' He said with a gentle smile.
'I guess my prince just turned into a frog then!' I groused.
He chuckled 'You're getting your fairy tales mixed up.'
He bent and kissed me on the mouth but I knew by now it was going no further and I suspected it was something to do with my date tomorrow, I
checked my watch, today!
I remembered what he'd said about feeling bad for Jacob so respecting his feelings I went to bed and contented myself with a replay of the
nights events. I liked this side of Edward, he had been so kind and attentive all night and it had been the perfect date.

It was real, of that I had no doubt, everything I felt for him tonight was real. Just as everything I felt from him was real too!
a/n Okay, so this was a real date, both of them seem to agree on that. The next chapter is Bella's date with Jacob, I'd love to hear
what you're expecting because I don't think it is what you are going to get. Well, actually, I take that back, most of you are pretty
perceptive but as Edward said ; Indulge me... please.
x
Chapter 17
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
A million thanks for all the reviews alerts and favourites. Keep them coming! I can't believe when I hit the 'add chapter' button 155
people will get an Email, that's SO cool!
Sorry if there are any errors in this chapter, I did go over it but I'm busy preparing for my trip to NY so I really just skimmed it.
It's DATE NIGHT!
I checked my watch for the thousandth time, it was still 6.25pm. Jacob had said 6.30 so there was really no need to be feeling this wound up.
The apartment was wholly too empty and I simply couldn't wait to get out of here.
At precisely 6.30 as if he'd been standing outside the door waiting for the big hand to fall on the six, he knocked on my door.
Taking a deep breath I opened it.
He turned as I opened the door, looking resplendent in black shirt and dark jeans, his teeth gleaming as he smiled eagerly at me.
'Hey.' He said shyly.
'Hello Jacob,' I smiled 'I'll just grab my bag.' For some reason I felt like my heart was dropping in my chest as I turned back to him and forced a
smile.
'I have a cab waiting downstairs, I thought we could go to this Thai place downtown.' He said but it sounded like a question rather than a
statement.
'I don't think I've ever eaten Thai food.' I said taking my time on the stairs. I was wearing heels and already regretting it.
He must have sensed my apprehension because he stopped in front of me and then held his hand out tentatively.
I looked at it and in a heartbeat decided to go for it, I felt his warm hand envelope mine and we took the stairs together.
The restaurant was extremely busy and we were ushered to the bar to wait for our table 'What would you like to drink?' Jacob shouted over the
inappropriately loud sound system.
'Diet Pepsi!' I yelled back.
He quirked an eyebrow at me but I nodded in insistence.
He turned back to the bar tender and ordered two, it seemed he would be abstaining too.
All sorts of glamorous people milled around us and to my mind, most of the woman were wearing too few clothes. It was far too loud to afford any
kind of conversation and we sat on bar stools that were uncomfortable and much too high.
Eventually we were led to a table in the centre of the restaurant that was so crowded that when I sat down I almost brushed elbows with the
occupants of the other tables next to ours. A menu was thrust into my hands by an androgynous person dripping with disdain.
I glanced at Jacob who seemed to be as completely uncomfortable as I was. I lowered my eyes to the menu but as soon as I saw the prices I
snapped it shut.
'This is ridiculous!' I said.
'What?' Jacob yelled from little more than a foot away and still it was hard to hear.
I stood up and jerked my head towards the exit, for a moment he looked confused and not a little bit dejected but I forced a smile and held my
hand out.
He took it and we scurried to the exit. The cool quietness of the street outside was like the best pain killer known to man.
'What's wrong?' Jacob asked, clearly concerned.
'Nothing,' I insisted 'I just couldn't sit there amid that chaos and pay good money to feel that uncomfortable.'
'This is one of the best restaurants in town.' He insisted.
'Not in my eyes!' I said, training a disconcerted eye back to the chaos! I shuddered and for the first time in my life I was glad to be a misfit.
'Where to now?'
 I smiled 'I like Itallian food.' I offered.
He shrugged and grabbed my hand before hailing a cab.
Fifteen minutes later we were seated in a quiet booth in a humble Italian restaurant.
'Better?' he asked.
'Absolutely!'I smiled.
'It seemed like a good idea at the time.' He said ruefully.
I felt ungrateful. 'I'm sorry! I didn't meant to seem ungrateful, it's just..um. .. not conducive to a nice date.'
He grinned 'Well, I'm guessing "conducive" is a good thing.'
I sat back in the booth and opened my menu with fake offence and flashed him a discerning look 'I hope you're not going to spend the evening
being facetious!'
He roared with laughter 'Okay enough with the big words! Can we please stick to layman's English?'
We ordered food and I nodded when Jacob asked if he should order a bottle of wine. The waitress smiled pleasantly and I watched her walk
away, she was really very pretty and nothing like that 'person' who had rudely seated us at the Thai place.
The sound system was playing old music like Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, the kind of stuff Charlie liked to listen to.
'My dad's coming to visit me tomorrow,' I said turning back to Jacob who was watching me intently 'he's got a new girlfriend.' It felt slightly
ridiculous referring to Sue Clearwater as a girlfriend. 'He's bringing her with him, I guess this must be the big formal meeting, it's not like him to
socialise.'
'Have you met her before?' Jacob asked pouring iced water into our glasses.
'Yes, when I went back for Jasper's mom's funeral, I met her.'
'So he must be coming all this way for a reason?'
'I think so.' I smiled.
The waitress brought our entrees and poured us a glass of wine each.
Jacob bit into a large slice of Garlic bread and then spoke 'Looks like you're about to gain a step mother!' Strangely it didn't bother me that he
spoke with his mouth full.
'God!' I gasped sitting back in the booth 'I never thought of that.'
Jacob stopped chewing 'I'm only guessing of course,' he frowned 'does it bother you?'
I thought about it and was hit with an image of Charlie sitting in front of the flat screen, watching the game and eating a TV dinner.
'No,' I shook my head 'I don't think it does.'
Jacob smiled and raised his glass 'Here's to Step Moms!'
I touched my glass to his and sipped my wine.
Jacob had grown up on a reservation on the outskirts of Seattle but he and his father now lived in the city because it was easier for Jacob to get
business. I listened as he spoke about his desire to start up his own business and was impressed by how driven and determined he seemed to be.
We lingered over the meal for a while until eventually Jacob called for the bill and refused to let me pay half. We stepped out onto the street and I
turned to face him.
'Where to now?' I asked, echoing his question from earlier.
He looked at his watch 'We could go to the movies, or there's a wine bar just across the street.'
'The wine bar sounds nice.' I said and we walked to the crossing.
He took my hand again and I was struck by the feeling it felt like when Jasper held my hand, I wasn't aware of every tiny movement of his fingers
the way I was when Edward held my hand and a sharp pang of guilt twisted my stomach.
Jacob was lovely he was really good company and the perfect gentleman. But he wasn't Edward. I worried that I was leading him on and thought
maybe I should put a stop to this right now but then he turned and flashed his bright grin at me and I decided to enjoy this one date with him.
In the wine bar we found a table in the corner, there was a man playing piano and it all seemed very civilised and grown up. We grimaced at
each other as we perused the wine list.
'Don't you think this is a little up market for us?' I whispered.
He leaned forward 'Who cares? At least we can hear each other talk in here.'
We talked for a long time, about everything. However, the more time I spent in his company the more it underlined what was sadly lacking from
this date compared to my dates with Edward. Jacob was lovely, he was great company and I was truly enjoying myself but there was no spark.
My heart was heavy by the time we left the wine bar and Jacob flagged down a cab for us. I was relieved when he kept to his side of the car as
we travelled towards my apartment. I toyed with the idea of saying goodbye in the cab but he paid the driver and got out before I could voice any
decision.
'I'll walk you to your door.' He said taking my hand.
I trudged up the stairs with him and finally stood at my door, I remembered what Edward had said about this moment and kept my key firmly
tucked in my pocket.
'I had a nice time.' Jacob smiled, he looked troubled.
'Me too.'
'Really?'
I nodded 'It was fun.'
He took a step closer 'I just want to try one thing,' he said quietly 'do you mind?'
He was leaning so close I knew he meant to kiss me and truth be told, I was curious too so I shook my head. No I don't mind, I conveyed silently.
He slid his hand to the small of my back while the other reverently searched into my hair at the base of my neck. His lips were warm and soft as
they pressed against mine and I moved in sync with him. His tongue worked its way along my lip and I allowed him access.
I closed my eyes and tried to force the feeling but it didn't come, there was no crescendo just a slow stalling and then a slide back down to the
start. He pulled away and looked ruefully at me.
'It's not working is it?'
I shook my head 'I'm sorry.'
He sighed and rubbed his hands vigorously through his hair before he smiled 'I knew I'd lost you half way through the date, you kept drifting off
into dreamland,' he looked down at me sympathetically 'I know that look.'
I didn't understand 'What look?'
'Do you mind if I'm completely honest with you?'
I shook my head 'Of course not I'd appreciate it.'
He looked around the hallway 'I'd ...um... rather not talk here.'
Suddenly I was suspicious that this was a rouse to get into my apartment but he must have read my expression because he looked horrified.
'No! I saw a coffee place down the street still open, will you come for a coffee with me?'
I blushed 'Yes.'
I pulled the lid off my Styrofoam cup as Jacob placed a large slab of New York cheesecake between us and handed me a fork. He waited till I
scooped up the first bite before digging in with his own fork.
'Okay, first I probably owe you an apology.' I attempted to speak but he waved his fork in front of me and shook his head 'No, no, let me say this. I
really like you Bella, and I was so desperate to be attracted to you, and at first I believed I was...'
'Wait!' I said stopping him this time 'you're losing me, I'm not following.'
He groaned 'I'm not making a very good fist of this am I?' I shook my head 'Let me start from the beginning?'
'I think you should.' I said dropping my fork onto the plate.
'Well, firstly the reason I know that look I saw on you tonight is because I recognise that emotion in myself. This isn't going to sound good, but
there's this girl, woman, I like, very much but it's never going to happen.' He looks out the window and a sad defeated look ghosts across his
features 'I've loved Leah for more years than I care to admit and I've tried so hard to move on,' he looked at me 'that's why I was so desperate to fall
for you,' his hand covers mine 'and I nearly did.'
 'Leah is married to my cousin,' he frowned 'he's a complete dick, he always has been but he was involved in the same accident as my dad and
he relies on her so she won't leave him. She doesn't want to be that girl who leaves her invalid husband.' He dropped his fork too and picked up his
coffee 'She deserves so much better.'
'She deserves you?'
He shakes his head 'Bella, I don't want you to think I was using you. I need to move on, I can't live like this anymore and when I met you I felt an
instant connection. I thought... no I hoped it might mean that finally I had found someone.'
He looked out of the window again and suddenly I wanted to hug him and tell him everything would be alright, but who was I to tell anyone that?
'Were you going to just settle for me?' I asked.
'No! Shit!' He hissed 'Look, I like you Bella, you're a great girl, I don't know about you , but I really did have a good night tonight and I'm
disappointed that I can't feel that way about you because God knows I want to, but I can't help that my heart already belongs to someone else.' He
looked down at the table 'whether she wants it or not.'
That was an emotion I could recognise because tonight Jacob was the last piece of my jigsaw and for that, if nothing else, he deserved a break. I
took his hands in mine 'It's okay, Jacob, I'm not angry with you.'
He looked up at me and there was relief mixed with hope in his eyes 'Seriously?'
I sighed 'I seem to have a gift for making friends with guys!' I squeezed his hand 'I'd love to be your friend.' I laughed cynically.
'So, who's the unsuspecting guy who's in possession of your heart?'
Edward. I almost smiled and I very nearly cried, but in the end I shook my head. 'I haven't told him, so I can't tell you.'
'Wow!' he said raising my hands to his lips, he pressed a sweet kiss on my knuckles 'the first year or so is the hardest. Unrequited love really is a
bitch.'
I laughed then, thankful that he didn't push me and finally convinced that he was definitely on my BFF list.
'You know, I'm actually so relieved Jacob, I've been dreading this date,' His eyebrows rose in shock and I smiled 'because I thought I was going
to end up hurting you.' I snorted 'How conceited is that?'
'Everybody seemed so keen to force us together.' He mused.
Then we both burst out laughing 'If they could see us now!'
'So what's the deal with you and that Jasper dude?' He asked picking up his fork and digging into the cheesecake again 'It's not him you're in
love with is it?'
I smiled sadly 'No, I mean I do love Jasper but we grew up together, he's my best friend, he's more like family to me.' I explained.
'I'm not sure he sees it that way.' Jacob said eyeing me earnestly 'He's really quite possessive of you.'
'He's just looking out for me,' I said bristling slightly 'he always has done.'
He sat back in his chair 'Sorry, I didn't mean to pry, it's just that wasn't the vibe I got from him.'
Curiosity got the better of me 'What vibe did you get?'
He sighed and rubbed his face before glancing around the cafe, it seemed that he wasn't sure whether to continue the conversation. Then he
turned and faced me again 'I just got the feeling he didn't want me to ...um.. make a move on you. Like, the thought of it angered him, he seemed
jealous if you ask me.'
I sighed and rubbed the bridge of my nose 'It's a complicated situation, but it's nothing that can't be sorted.'
We talked through another two coffees and the cake finally disappeared between us, it was past 2am by the time I stifled my first yawn, but in
voicing my concerns out loud I had actually worked through a lot of stuff that I hadn't allowed myself to acknowledge. We talked a little more about
Jasper but then he told me about his relationship with Leah and it really was a hearbreaking situation. They hadn't cheated but she had been
planning to leave her husband when the accident happened and it was clear that Jacob, though he was trying to get on with his life, just couldn't get
over her.
He walked me back to the apartment and hugged me warmly at the door with a promise to call me soon, he was going to service the truck for
me. I promised his secret was safe with me and watched as he disappeared down the stairs.
I turned and slid my key into the lock suddenly euphoric in the knowledge that I had somehow fallen in love with Edward when I wasn't looking and
he was the first person I wanted to share this revelation with.
The door was pulled open before I turned the key.
 a/n Aw Poor Jacob, always in love with the wrong girl! I don't like to turn him into an asshole in my stories. I feel sorry for him, his
only crime was loving Bella and being a bit immature about it! Anyway, what did you think how the date turned out? And what will
Bella do with her newfound revelation?
Next up is an Epov. I will post it tomorrow.
Chapter 18
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Right! I can't do it. I can't make you wait till tomorrow for this chapter for a number of reasons that I'll give at the end of it.
Epov
I'd skulked in the coffee shop till after 7, she'd said Jacob was picking her up at 6.30, knowing Jacob he'd be prompt but I wasn't taking any
chances, the last think I fucking wanted was to run into them as they were leaving, all loved up and shit. Why did I insist on this?
I ran my hands down my face and stared out the window, I knew she needed this, she needed a reality check but I hadn't expected to get one
myself. I thought she might back out last night, I wanted to ask her to but that was the whole fucking problem, I had no right to ask her for anything.
She didn't know anything else, so how could she know if it was me she wanted?
The waitress wiggled towards me like she thought she was Naomi fucking Campbell 'Can I get you anything else?' she pouted.
'Just the check!' I hissed looking out the window.
I wonder where he's taking her.
I glanced at the bill, she was still standing their expectantly, I threw a couple of bills down and left. A couple of months ago I would have found out
what time she clocked off and come back for her, maybe even found some comfort between her legs but there was no comfort in any of it from now
on. Not now that I could tell the difference.
The apartment was in darkness and for the first time today I smiled, but my relief was short lived, I flicked the light on, threw my jacket against the
coat stand and took two steps. Two lousy fucking steps, that's all it took and the scent of her hit me like a freight train.
The scent of her shampoo wafting from the bathroom was strongest of all and I could see her as I helped her sit up, the bubbles cascading down
her beautiful skin, those perfect buds. My tongue fucking ached!
I kicked it into touch! I'd tortured myself a million times already today about the things we'd shared. Things that meant more to me than they
should, that I'd fooled myself into thinking meant more to her.
I headed straight for the fridge, pulled out a beer, twisted off the cap and downed it in one. I slammed the empty on the counter and pulled out
another one, yanking my cell phone out of my pocket I dropped it on the table and grabbed the remote. The TV sparked into life and I sagged back
on the sofa flicking through the channels.

Ghost! God damn reruns! Her tears still shining on her cheeks, her thumb in my mouth. Oh for fuck's sake!
At the start, I found her sort of sweet and funny, I'd never met anyone like her before, it was hard to imagine there were people still that fucking
innocent in this cynical world. But then I started to get to know her and she's so uncomplicated, so open that I just wanted to give her anything she
asked of me.
I drained my beer and sagged back on the sofa, fuck this! I can't sit here all night torturing myself.
I thought going out might be the answer so I went to my room yanked stuff out of my drawers, threw them on the unmade bed that taunted me and
paced a while. A shower, I somehow needed a shower, despite the fact that I'd practically spent more hours jacking off in the shower than I had
doing anything else this month.
I took my clothes with me, turned on the spray, stripped and stepped inside. I shuddered as the needles of heat hit my skin and turned my face up
to meet it. She pulled me onto her and opened her legs, she opened her fucking legs, I was fifteen again, my dick had never been harder as I
ground into her. The noises she was making spurred me on, her nipple in my mouth, I sucked so greedily, her tiny ass was dwarfed in my hands
and still I couldn't pull her close enough. But all the time it was the sounds, those fucking gasps and her sheer joy when she yelled my name! I
nearly told her then.
My hand was pumping furiously, I wanted to stop but I could smell her all around me, that fucking shampoo, the image of her, the feel of her skin,
the need in her voice... Fuck! My hips bucked as I thought of my tongue swirling over her tits, and as I came I hated myself for thinking of her like
that.
I took my time, cleaning the shower, shaving, getting dressed, staring at my sorry face in the mirror. Hunger won out and I went to the kitchen in
search of food.

I found a tub in the fridge, opened it, sniffed it and stuck it in the microwave to heat up. I put my watch on while I waited. 8.30pm . Don't even think
about where they'll be.
I grabbed my dinner from the microwave, opened another beer and settled on the sofa. I had just stabbed my first forkful of macaroni when the
door opened. I craned my neck and saw Jasper heading towards me.
'Don't you ever knock!' I hissed.
 He threw his key on the table 'Sorry man.' It was the most unconvincing apology I'd ever heard.
'She's out.' I said chewing down the rubbery food.
'I know,' he smiled 'her big date, right?'
Fuck you!
'Yeah.' I looked up 'I'll tell her you dropped by.' I said pointedly.
He sat down, I bristled.
'You know her dad is coming by tomorrow?'
'I'm staying at your place!' He fucking knows this.
Another fucking dig!
Sometimes I think they're all the fucking same, not good enough to be your son, not good enough to be your man. Daddy's coming to town, get
rid of me and move fucking golden boy in.
'I just thought, I should stay here tonight, in case Charlie comes by earlier than expected.'
'What? Like first fucking thing in the morning?' I said abandoning my God awful dinner 'I doubt it.'
He stretched his legs out on the table 'And, I was just thinking I should be here for when she gets back from her date.'
I know Alice loves this guy but sometimes I fucking outright hated him, tonight being a case in point. 'Jacob's cool!' I bit out 'She'll be fine.'
He swung his eyes disdainfully to me and it was the first time the prick had looked at me since he got here 'She'll be buzzed, she might want to
share her experience with her best friend.'
If I didn't know Bella, I'd think he was the biggest fucking sleaze ball in the country, but I did know her and I knew he is exactly who she would want
to see, when she walks through that door, all flushed by the first blooms of romance. I could imagine her floating in on air, she's just so keen.

'Did I...?' 'Did you?'

Did I fucking EVER! I could walk out of this door and into any bar in town and pick up some desperate girl, fuck her brains out, God knows I've
done it more times than I could ever care to count and I would never find anything as mind blowing as coming in my pants with her!
She was so fucking eager, so happy to find that buzz, that I'd allowed myself on occasion to think that it was me, it was all me. But she constantly
reminded me it wasn't real and when she'd asked me to move out for the weekend it told me all I needed to know.
Last night had been real for me and I lay in bed all night painfully aware that she was just across the hall, I wanted to go to her, tell her, fucking ask
her! But she'd gone to sleep without a care in the world, the date had changed nothing, none of it was real and I was just the asshole who'd been
deluding himself all along.
I looked at him sitting there, feet sprawled on the table, he'd had a lifetime with her and could offer her far more than I ever could and he fucking
knew it. He was acceptable. She would have opened up to him, she would have fallen in love with him and he was too much of a selfish prick to see
it. He had Alice and he had his B fucking FF, and that's the way he likes it!
'Well if you're staying here tonight, I guess I'll go out.' I said standing up. I couldn't stand another minute in his fucking company.
'Will you be coming home?' He asked all fucking smug and I could quite happily punch that smile right off his face 'So I know whether to get out
some spare bedding?'
'I won't be home.' I bit out.
Of course I stopped short of telling him my sheets weren't clean and if he slept in my bed he'd smell Bella! If it wasn't her I'd lay that shit right at his
door!
I grabbed my jacket and wallet and slammed the door behind me, out in the hall with the door firmly closed behind me I knew it was over and the
rest of my night was all about getting Bella Swan out of my system.
a/n Reasons why I couldn't let you wait for this chapter
It's really short
I'm not sure it's worth the wait
Edward is pissed off, rambling and getting it ALL wrong. I love his potty mouth though.
I don't think you'll really like it.
Edward has self worth issues.
Thanks for reading and reviewing and I want your honest opinions (which I know you always give) on this latest development.
Chapter 19
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Thanks for the reviews people! They are great and so detailed I love it! I only have the next two chapters written but you make me
want to update every day just so I can read your reviews.
This is another short little chapter and it's all about Jasper.
The door swung open and I beamed at him, then it faltered.
'Jasper?'
He grinned 'Surprise!' He waggled his eyebrows.
I fought to hide my bitter disappointment while I asked the most basic question 'What are you doing here?'
He pulled me inside and closed the door behind me 'I came over in case you wanted to talk about your date, and since Charlie is coming
tomorrow, I thought it would make sense for me to be here early.'
'Where's Edward?'
He frowned briefly but then it was gone 'I think he had a date, he said he wouldn't be home.'
'But I'm not having a second date.' I muttered.
'What?' Jasper frowned.
'Oh, nothing.' I mumbled stumbling towards the bathroom 'I'll be out in a minute.' I called as I slammed the door behind me and slid down it.

I was tired, so very tired and yet a few seconds ago I had been bubbling with excitement, what was I intending to do? Just walk in here and say ' I
love you Edward, everything's perfect, we don't have to pretend anymore!'
Oh God what was it Jacob had said? The first couple of years are the worst? Years!
I stood up and washed my face, flushed the toilet for good measure and then headed out to face Jasper.
He was sitting on the sofa and patted the space beside him, I deliberately chose the chair instead.
'What's up?' He asked.
Suddenly, his assumptions about everything irked me 'I could ask you the same thing,' I countered 'what's been up with you lately?' My chat with
Jacob had made me look at this from a different angle.
He looked flabbergasted as he sat up straighter and his brow creased as he digested my question 'Nothing's been up with me, what do you
mean?'
I took my shoes off 'You've been acting like you're jealous and I just don't get it, you have Alice, you love Alice and she loves you, but you won't let
me move on.' I couldn't stop once I'd started 'You are always talking Edward down, you walk in here any time you like, you don't live here Jasper!
You can't just do that anymore.' His expression didn't change 'You ask me things that are none of your business, how is it any business of yours if
Edward rubs my legs?'
'Does he?'

I stood up 'You are jealous!' I cried throwing my arms up in the air.

His head dropped into his hands and he groaned, it was a plaintive sound and my anger evaporated, I dropped to my knees in front of him.
'What's going on Jazz?'
I didn't expect his tears and it ripped my heart out to see him like this, I felt a wave of fatigue wash over me but tonight seemed to be the night
everything was bubbling to the surface and I had to burst every one of those bubbles.
'I can't explain it Bella,' He whispered dropping his head again 'I love her, I really do, she's perfect, but,' he looked up 'since I left here, since you..
God I can't even put it into words!'
He brushed his hand harshly across his face and sniffed loudly before offering me an embarrassed watery smile 'I've been carrying this around
for weeks and I couldn't talk to anybody, you're the one I always come to and yet you're the last person I could tell.' I didn't say anything, I didn't touch
him, I just sat on the floor and listened.
'When Mom died and we spent the night in the tree house, that was when I felt it strongest but I excused it because my emotions were all over the
place.'
 'What did you feel?' I probed, as much as I didn't want to hear it I knew we needed to do this.
'I thought about you asking me all those years ago to kiss you and I regretted it, hearing you talk about finding love, I couldn't stand the thought of
anyone touching you.'
'But you said you wanted me to find what you had with Alice?'
'That's what I kept telling myself, how can I love her so much, yet that night with you in my arms all I could think about was what I'd given up when I
denied you.' He looked up and his eyes blazed into mine 'I wanted to make love to you Bella.'
I blushed to the roots of my hair and my heart dropped like a stone, he was ruining everything. 'Don't.' I whispered as he slid off the sofa and
wrapped his arms around me.
He brushed my hair away from my face and tilted it up towards his 'Did you ever think of me that way?'
I shook my head 'I love you, Jazz, but not like that. At one time you were everything to me and I was happy for you when you found Alice. I want us
to get back to that.'
He frowned 'I don't know if we can.'
'This was always going to happen,' I said sitting up on the sofa, he sat beside me and when he didn't move closer I sighed 'I relied on you for too
long, we were too close, too intense. I thought we could stay like that forever.' He was nodding sadly 'But we can't.' I leaned forward and took his
hands 'you're confused, that's all. Maybe falling in love with Alice made you imagine you were in love with me too. You've always been so protective
of me, too protective, but I don't think you really want me like that Jasper, you just don't want anyone else to..'
He sighed 'You're right, I can't stand the thought of someone touching you, being with you.'
'Why?' I asked squeezing his hands 'Think about it, what if I had brought Jacob in here tonight and took him to bed? Why would that bother you?'
He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head 'I don't know.' he said quietly and I knew to get to the truth of the matter I had to push his buttons.
'What if it was Edward?'
His eyes flashed to mine 'You wouldn't?'
'What if Edward kissed me and touched me.' He stiffened 'You don't think guys like Edward are good enough for me, do you? You think if I fell for
someone like that he'd hurt me and that's all it is Jazz; you're fear that I'll get hurt. You don't love me like that, you're so used to giving me everything I
need, being everything I need that you don't know when to stop.'
I moved closer, surprised by how clearly I could see it all now 'Everything I ever struggled with when I was growing up, it was you who showed me
the way, you helped me come to terms with everything. Even when I had my first period, it was you I told, do you remember that? How mortified you
were?' I smiled a little at the memory 'You took me to your mom and she sat us both down and explained it to us together.'
'We've always shared the inappropriate stuff and now that I want to fall in love,' I swallowed ' and I want to make love,' His eyes found mine and I
blushed again 'it's maybe only natural that somewhere deep inside you thought it should be you. That night in the tree house was not a sexual thing,
Jazz, it was you wanting to give me what you always have: Everything I need.'
'But we need to draw a line now, there needs to be boundaries. You love Alice, I know that I can see it as plain as the nose on your face, please
don't doubt it, but we have to take a step back. We can still be all that we've ever been except for the part of yourself that is Alice's and the part of
me that will belong to someone else.'
I could feel the tears on my cheeks but it was such a relief to get this all out in the open, I wasn't going to lose him, I couldn't.
He touched his forehead to mine and cupped my face before he kissed my forehead and then my cheek 'How did you get to be so smart?'
I smiled through my tears. 'We're going to be okay.'
'I know,' He murmured 'but promise me you'll be careful Bella, you deserve someone who'll really respect you.'
I pulled back and searched his face 'You're still doing it!'
'I'm not! I'm just asking you not to jump into bed with the first guy who comes along.'
'Boundaries!' I reminded him and he rubbed his hands over his face and then held them up in apology.
He asked me about my date with Jacob and I told him it didn't work out but not why, then we got talking about old memories and we talked until it
was light. Every now and then I would wonder where Edward was and who he was with but I couldn't allow myself to dwell on it.
When I woke up I was wrapped in his arms on the sofa and despite the fact we'd reneged on everything we had said about boundaries I knew it
was the last time we would do this. From today it would all be different. And not just with Jasper.
a/n Do you think Bella is right? Jasper seems to agree but of course he still doesn't know about her and Edward. Even though she
practically told him, he just wasn't listening. I'll be posting again tomorrow and then that will be it for at least a week. I need lots of
views to keep my creative juices flowing while I'm away, so please don't be shy and let me know what you're thinking! ;o)
Chapter 20
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Thanks for the reviews, especially the one which pointed out I had boobed with my continuity. Chapter three has had the offending
lines removed. Thanks again.
I also want to thank everyone who is reviewing every chapter, I love that! And I've tried to reply to you all, if I've missed you let me
know. Not that my replies are that interesting but it's nice to be nice.
Okay penultimate chapter before my couple of weeks hiatus! I hope you like it AND it's not as short as the last two.
I lay awake while Jasper snored beside me and mulled over everything in my mind, it had been quite a night for revelations and for the first time
in my life, I actually felt proud of myself. I had finally looked at things objectively with an open mind and had allowed myself to be honest about my
own feelings.
Edward was my blot on the landscape, I was disappointed, hurt even, that he had gone out on a date as soon as I had. He hadn't waited for me,
so sure was he that I would fall for Jacob that the first chance he got, he pulled out of our deal.
But all was not lost, if I'd had my epiphany last week and he'd done this I would be devastated now and willing to give up on him. But the memory
of how he was on Wednesday night, the tenderness when he'd towelled my hair and lay beside me as I watched the film, the passion we'd shared
later. That was as real as the romance he'd shown me the following night.
He might not be an angel, but there is good in him. His refusal to risk humiliating Jacob along with his refusal to allow me to stumble blindly into
anything without having a comparison speaks volumes. I just had to figure out how to convince him that he is what I want and hopefully that I can be
enough for him.
I could tell by the height of the sun in the sky that I was very late for work, I slid carefully off the couch and tiptoed to the phone. I called my boss,
feigned a croaky voice and held my breath while I waited to be fired. Thankfully, though it never came and I promised to work a double shift the
following day.
I went to the bathroom and turned on the taps before padding to my room to get clean clothes, by the time the bath was full Jasper was awake.
'Hey.' He smiled gently as I stood looking down at him.
I waited while he sat up and then handed him a coffee. 'Sleep well?'
He rubbed his neck 'Sorry, I guess this boundaries thing will take a bit of getting used to.'
I sat on the edge of the table 'It was one for the road!' I joked and he smiled in response.
He sipped the coffee and groaned appreciatively before his cheeks reddened a little 'I'm sorry about last night, the things I said.'
'Don't be, we needed to do it Jazz,' I sipped from my own cup 'We'll be fine now.'
'So,' He sighed 'you gonna dip your toe back into the dating pool.'
'Probably,' I said, 'but if I need any advice, I'll ask Alice.'
'Good Idea!' He said and we clinked out cups together in agreement.
I stood up, 'I'm going to take a bath, I called in sick, so we have a few hours to kill before Charlie gets here, what do you want to do?'
He lay back on the sofa 'Sleep!'
When I was washed and dressed and ready to go I came back to the living room to find Jasper on the phone to Alice. I stood in the Kitchen even
though it didn't really afford him any privacy and listened while he told her he loved her and then hung up. He came into the kitchen.
'I'll just go and get changed and then maybe we could go out for lunch?'
I nodded and then stood looking out of the window after he'd gone. I wanted to ask him if Alice had mentioned if Edward was there but decided
against it, we had built some bridges last night, I didn't want to risk burning them down just yet.
I looked out onto the wet street, it had stopped raining and the heat of the sun was evaporating the puddles, steam was rising slowly from the
sidewalk. I wonder where he is, who is he with?
I killed that thought and when my stomach growled I shouted on Jasper to hurry up.
We ate lunch at a cafe a few blocks away and I told Jasper about Jacob's thoughts on Charlie's visit. We both agreed it would be great if Jacob
was right. We took a walk down to the park and rued our lack of time. It would have been nice to spend a day in the amusement park.
Our conversation was a little stilted and at times it felt like we were trying too hard to be normal but it would come good again, I was sure of that.
 Charlie had booked a table for three at the hotel where he and Sue were staying but when he came to pick me up he invited Jasper to come too
and called Sue to change the reservation.
'She's waiting at the hotel,' he explained when he got off the phone 'I forgot how long it takes women to get fancied up.' He blushed.
I smiled and hugged him 'It's so good to see you happy dad!' I said unable to curb my enthusiasm.
He looked around the room 'It's bigger than I thought,' he admitted 'I had a vision of you two crammed into some poky little room and kitchen.'
I flicked my eyes to the kitchen 'Well, the kitchen is definitely poky.'
He looked at my cast 'When do you get that thing off?'
'Next week.' I sighed 'I can hardly wait,' I held it up 'look at it, I hope it doesn't put anyone off their food tonight.'
'How's your arm though?'
I wiggled my fingers and flexed my hand 'Good as new!'
When we arrived at the hotel Sue was waiting for us, she looked beautiful, her dark skin complimented by the coral dress and jacket she was
wearing. Her hair was cut to chin length and was dark and glossy with only a few flecks of grey that showed when she moved. She smiled and
kissed my cheek when she greeted me and did the same to Jasper.
'I thought I'd invite Jasper along, since he's practically family,' Charlie explained to Sue 'Oh hell!' he groaned. 'Where's that lovely girl of yours?' he
turned to Jasper 'I didn't think to invite her along too.'
Jasper smiled 'It's okay, Charlie she's out with friends tonight.'
Charlie nodded but he still looked mortified, he'd met Alice when we were in Forks for the funeral and the two had hit it off immediately.
We were seated at our table and sat in silence while we all perused the menus. After we ordered Charlie shifted in his chair.
'This is nice.' He remarked not making a very good show of enjoying himself.
Sue looked mildly tense too so I decided to give them an out 'Why don't you just tell me why you're here.' I smiled.
His eyes widened and then he fidgeted with the collar of his shirt 'I..um.. well, Sue and I..' he glanced at her and she nodded with a small smile
'Sue has agreed to become my wife.'
I leapt out of my chair 'Oh Dad, I'm so happy for you!' I hugged him and he groused about the people looking curiously at us but I didn't care as I
switched to Sue and hugged her too.
Jasper leaned over and shook Charlie's hand 'When's the big day?'
It was Sue who answered 'Two weeks.' I gasped and her eyes flicked to Charlie 'I know it's short notice, but ,' Charlie squeezed her hand and I
almost fell off my chair at his outward show of affection 'well, at our age, why wait?'
I couldn't agree more.
'We also wanted to ask you to be our maid of honour.' Charlie added, still looking at Sue.
'I'd love to!' I gasped and hugged them both again much to Charlie's chagrin.
'I'll give you some money to buy a dress.' Charlie said as I sat back down.
The rest of the meal passed pleasantly, Charlie grilled Jasper and I about college, asked us if we had enough money and then he made sure to
ask Jasper to bring Alice to the wedding. He didn't ask me if I wanted to bring anyone.
Charlie drove us home and promised to come by first thing in the morning to say goodbye.
Jasper called Alice while I got ready for bed. When I was in the bathroom I could hear him talking in dulcet tones and knew he was telling her he
loved her. I waited until he finished before I came out of the bathroom and joined him on the sofa.
'How is Alice?'
He smiled 'She's fine,' he paused 'Edward is there.'
I felt relief wash over me 'Well at least she's not in the house alone tonight.'
He simply nodded and I noticed the muscle working in his jaw, but said nothing.
'I'm really tired,' I said 'and thanks to today, I have a double shift to face tomorrow. Do you want me to change Edward's sheets for you?'
 'No, I'll be fine here,' he said 'and don't worry I'll put the covers away before Charlie gets here in the morning.
I thought a double shift was the last thing I needed but when Alice walked through the door just after the lunchtime rush I knew my day had just
gotten infinitely worse. I was dealing with a customer but my eyes kept flicking to her, she was standing just in the doorway, she neither smiled nor
frowned but I knew if her mouth did move it would likely curve downwards.
When I finished dealing with the customer she approached 'Do you have a break or something coming up?'
Her lack of greeting didn't go unnoticed 'I'm due my lunch break at 2.' I said tightly, my voice wobbled slightly.
'I'll come back,' she said 'we need to talk.'
I don't know how many orders I got wrong, in that hour and by the time 2pm came around I'd already had two complaints and I simply didn't care.
Alice came back at two on the dot and it was with a heavy heart that I grabbed my jacket, but as I approached her she shook her head.
'We can talk here.' She said sitting down at a table in the far corner.
This was the last place I wanted to talk but in the current circumstances I daren't argue. I got us two coffees and sat down with her. A couple of my
colleagues eyed us curiously but it was a five minute wonder and soon enough we were as invisible as the furniture.
'Jasper told me what happened between you two last night.' She said quietly.
'Nothing happened,' I protested 'we just cleared the air about a few things.'
'My boyfriend tells you he wanted to make love to you and you call it clearing the air?' Her voice was calm and gentle with only a tiny hint of
bitterness and I found it more disconcerting than if she had started yelling at me in rage.
'Alice, please don't think there's more to this, than there is. Did he tell you what we discussed, that he doesn't really feel that way about me at all?'
She nodded 'Look, I won't pretend it didn't hurt, no girl wants to hear something like that,' she stared directly in to my eyes 'no matter what the
explanation. But I'm a reasonable person and I believe you both. I knew how intense your friendship was when I got into this with Jasper and I know
he loves me but I just feel that you and I should clear the air too.'
'You're not mad at me?' I was surprised and relieved in equal measure.
'No, Bella, I don't want this thing hanging over us.'
'Oh thank God!' I sighed sagging back on my chair 'I really don't feel that way about Jasper at all and I know he loves you, Alice, I'd never seen
him so happy, it's just that recently he lost his way a bit..'
'I know,' she nodded 'seeing you fall in love with someone else has upset him, but I know now why, he just lost his place as number one in your
life.'
I nodded and in my relief I almost missed what she had said then I froze in shock and felt my cheeks warm as I looked at her.
'I've known for a while that you were falling for Edward.' She smiled 'In fact I think you and Edward are the only two people who couldn't see it.'
She paused 'And Jasper of course but that's because he doesn't want to see it. Yet.'
I groaned and buried my face in my hands 'I do love him Alice, but it's a one way street he went out on a date on Friday, it's already over before it
even got started.'
She asked me questions about our situation up until now and I told her everything, there was no point in hiding it anymore and it felt really good to
finally unburden myself. When I finally finished speaking she sat forward.
'I don't know where he was on Friday night, Bella, but last night he was at my place and I've never seen him so agitated...'
'It was his idea that I should go on a date!' I argued.
'It wasn't the date that upset him Bella,' she said softly 'the thing with Edward is, he has never had a relationship, ever! He doesn't date girls, quite
frankly he doesn't treat them very well at all, that's why Jasper doesn't really like him.' She sipped her coffee 'I'm digressing, sorry, he seems
supremely confident but underneath it he has issues. Life wasn't easy for him either when he was younger and it is very difficult for him to let people
in.'
'Are you saying, he can't have a relationship.'
'Oh no!' she laughed 'not at all, just the opposite, I think you are perfect for him Bella.'
'So what did I do to upset him?'
'When you asked him to move out for the weekend when your father was coming to town, he saw that as a sign that you didn't think he was good
enough.'
I clapped my hand over my mouth and gasped 'That's not what it was at all!' I cringed at the thought that I had inadvertently hurt him 'My dad is
very protective of me, for obvious reasons, and I don't think he'd let me stay here if he knew I wasn't living with Jasper.'
She shook her head 'Bella you are an adult now, it's about time you took control of your own life and I'm sure your father would come round if you
were honest with him.'
I was aware that my time was running out and I glanced over my shoulder to look at the clock 'What do I do now Alice?'
'He has feelings for you, I'm sure of it,' she said with a wide smile, 'firstly you should be honest with him, well maybe leave out the part where you
love him, you don't want to lay too much on him too soon. But you should definitely tell him you want to date for real.'
'I could ask him to come to the wedding with me!' I grinned 'That would be perfect.' She nodded but then I frowned and swallowed before
revealing more to Alice 'I don't want to just date him though Alice,' I lowered my voice 'I want to.. um... be with him.'
She laughed 'You know you are so adorable in your honesty, Bella. I'm convinced that is what endears him most.'
'But I don't know how to...'
'Seduce him?' She quirked an eyebrow and I nodded
'I know where things go, you know where he puts his... but there's more to it than that and I really don't know what to expect. He has a lot of
experience and I don't want to disappoint him.' I was blushing furiously now 'I was going to get a book from the library, but I don't even have the
courage to go and get it from the shelf.'
'Oh Bella, you won't find what you need in the library.' She checked her watch 'Listen, I'm free tomorrow afternoon can you cut some classes?' I
nodded 'Good, I'll meet you at the apartment at 2?'
'Okay, but where will we be going?'
She grinned 'To buy you a real education.'
I spent the rest of the day going over what Alice had said but the more time passed the less confident I felt. What if Edward had been with
someone else on Friday? What if he didn't have feelings for me and Alice was mistaken? What if.. there seemed to be a million what ifs standing in
the way of what I wanted. By the time I got home I was hungry, tired and miserable.
The apartment was quiet when I let myself in and I removed my jacket deliberately slowly while I listened for some sound that would let me know
he was in. Nothing. I dragged my weary feet to the kitchen and laid the food on the counter and stood staring at it.
It was still early but the light coming in through the window was dim from the grey cloudy evening outside. Rain started to fall heavily and I
watched as people ran along the sidewalk as if they thought running would help them dodge the raindrops.
I opened the fridge, looked inside and closed it again. I went to the kitchen switched on the TV and then sat and stared at the wall. His bedroom
door opened and I almost hated the relief that washed over me. Despite my earlier conversation with Alice I was still anxious about his activities on
Friday night and what it might mean.
'Hi.' He said quietly.
I turned to see him standing in the doorway looking as tired and dishevelled as I felt. I forced a smile, he didn't buy it and there was nothing in
return. 'There's food in the kitchen.' I said pointing to the stuff I'd brought from the Deli. My voice sounded hollow, this is not how it was meant to be.
'How was your dad?' He asked as he passed.
My teeth clenched, of all the things that have happened this weekend, that's what he asks about? 'He's getting married.' I said quietly.
He passed no comment about that he was too busy peering into containers and sniffing the contents. 'Did Jasper have a nice time?'
Was he for real? 'Yes, I guess so.' I wasn't about to get into the heart to heart we'd had.
I was struggling with this, there was a giant elephant in the room. I could feel his distance and I had no idea how to shorten it.
Finally he dropped the container he had been peering into back onto the counter and came fully back into the room. He didn't sit down 'How did
your date go?'
'It was good, how was yours?' I knew I sounded jealous and bitter but I really couldn't help it.
He blinked a couple of times 'What?'
'I asked how your date was on Friday night?'
His face darkened 'Did that fucker tell you I was going out on a date?'
'I take it by "'that fucker"' you mean Jasper,' I said feeling my anger rise, I'd never sworn in my life before 'yes he did.'
He covered the distance between us in two long strides and he towered over me menacingly, I wasn't afraid but his anger was palpable 'When
you tell me about your date I'll tell you what I did on Friday night.'
 I needed food so I ducked out of his personal space and headed to the kitchen, he followed close behind so I spoke while I dumped random stuff
on my plate.
'I won't be seeing him again.' I said thinking it best to get that out of the way first.
He was standing right behind me, too close but not close enough, his hands rested on the counter on either side of me. He was effectively
trapping me with his body. 'Did he kiss you?' His voice was low and I could feel the heat of his body seeping into mine.
'Yes.' I said and it came out barely a whisper.
His knuckles whitened and it thrilled me, I wanted to tell him how I felt but I had to hear what he had to say first. What had he been doing on
Friday? The date had changed things and I needed to know what he was thinking before I took the next step.
'How was it?' His lips were close to my ear and I shivered at the velvet intensity of his voice.
'I think the clue is in the fact that I'm not seeing him again.' I said trying to keep my tone light. 'It was passionless.' I tilted my head slightly and felt
his breath in my hair. 'He was really nice we had a very interesting conversation but I don't like him that way.' The way I like you!
'So what did you do on Friday night?' I wasn't sure I wanted to hear it.
'I went out and got blind drunk and slept at Emmett's place.' He said pushing away.
'Why?'
'Why what?'
'Why did you get blind drunk?' I had a pretty good idea but I wondered if he would admit it.
'Because that fu.. best friend of yours wound me up, coming in here like he owns the fucking place.' He stalked into the living room 'I don't like
being hounded out of my own place, and I definitely don't like him coming round here to gloat about it.'
I went to the coffee table and picked it up 'This,' I said holding it up to him 'is Jasper's key! You won't have to worry about that from now on.'
'Good.' He said but I could see his mild embarrassment. He sat down 'I did a lot of thinking yesterday,' he said and his voice suddenly sounded
ominous 'and I think maybe we should just drop this whole arrangement thing.' No no no no! 'I mean, you've been out with Jacob, it didn't work out
but you pretty much know what you're doing now...' his voice tailed off.
I was at serious risk of getting whiplash here, a moment ago he was acting all jealous, now he was telling me he wanted out.
'But my dad is getting married!' I blurted.
He frowned 'What has that got to do with anything?'
'I wanted you to come to the wedding with me as my date.'
His eyes widened and he looked genuinely shocked, something else flickered across his face, relief?
'It's in two weeks, it would be nice to take you to Forks, let you see where I grew up, well mostly grew up.'
He stared at me with an expression that would normally be accompanied by an open mouth but his jaw was tight and a muscle worked furiously
in his jaw. He looked like a man caught between grabbing me and professing undying love and running for the door. I feared if I told him now how I
really felt he might just run for the door.
'Well?' I asked.
His jaw relaxed but nothing of the intensity in his gaze was lost 'Okay.' He said.
'I need to ask you something else.'
'Shoot!'
'Did you sleep with someone on Friday?'
His eyes narrowed a little but then he shook his head 'No, I wasn't on a date and I didn't sleep with anyone.'
'Did you want to?'
'I thought I did, but..' his voice trailed off 'I didn't!'
I felt the tension begin to drain out of my muscles 'Good, because I want the wedding date to be real. A proper date, I won't be introducing you as
my roommate.'
This time his mouth did pop open and emboldened by the sheer confusion on his face I pulled his lips to mine and kissed him hungrily, at first he
stiffened but then with a groan he wrapped his arms around me and kissed me back.
'I don't want to date anyone else.' I whispered between kisses.
He gripped my shoulders and his forehead rested on mine, his eyes were closed 'Are you saying this is for real now?'
Fear bubbled in my throat, I wanted to tell him everything, but knowing he had never had an actual relationship before was what stopped me. Is
this the kind of thing that has scared him off every time? I swallowed hard and bit the bullet.
'Yes, Edward, I want you.'
His eyelids tightened, the muscle began to pulse again and his fingers dug a little deeper into my shoulders.
'Say yes.' I whispered.
'I don't know if I can do this.' He murmured 'I...'
'We can try,' I urged 'just say yes.'
He was so still for so long and then it came out on a long sigh, like he had been holding it in for all of his life and was finally giving in to it 'Yes.' He
breathed and crushed his lips to mine.
We were lying together on the sofa, our meal finished and music playing softly in the background. He asked lots of questions about my date and
listened intently while I told him how I'd enjoyed Jacobs company but there was nothing attracting me to him.
'And it's different with me?' He asked, I was snuggled against him my head resting on his shoulder and I could feel his pulse beating against my
cheek.
'Yes,' I smiled 'When Jacob and I were in that restaurant I noticed the music that was playing was what Charlie liked, I noticed how pretty the
waitress was, even what colour the walls were. With you, I didn't hear or see or feel anything but you.' I blushed worried that I'd said too much.
His head tilted and I felt his lips on my head. 'We have to take this slowly Bella.'
I looked up at him 'But we'll still do stuff?'
He groaned 'Don't look at me like that,' he said closing his eyes but I could hear the humour in his tone 'I don't think I could bear not to touch you
now,' his eyes opened and I melted 'but I promise I'll take it slow.'
My heart soared and I smiled wider than I ever had, with Alice's help I knew I could make him break that promise.
I was so very tired but we lay together on the couch for a while talking and our kisses occasionally became heated but then we would pull back.
Tonight was different than any night we'd had so far and I was just happy to be in his arms and hearing his voice, that was all I needed for now.
a/n How cool is Alice? Of course she is hurting, who wouldn't be but she has a good head and a big heart! Alice is about to open
Bella's eyes and Edward is the one who will get the shocks. I've rewritten the next two chapters, I think Bella and Edward need some
fun and lemons now, don't you?
Chapter 21
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Okay well this is it, last update for AT LEAST a week, this is actually all I have written up so when I get back I've got some serious
work to do.
Thanks for all your lovely reviews. I had a LOT of fun writing this chapter and I hope you will enjoy it.
'This is where your education starts.' Alice trilled.
I looked up at the sign and my mouth dropped open 'An adult bookstore?'
She grinned 'They don't just sell books, but let's not run before we can walk.'
I gulped as I followed her inside, my head bowed so that my hair covered most of my face. The shop was surprisingly busy but I made sure not to
make eye contact with anyone.
Alice dragged me to an aisle and started browsing the shelves 'Pretty much anything in this section will be good,' she smiled 'though I do warn
you some are pretty graphic, but at least these ones contain some semblance of romance.'
'These are fiction.' I pointed out, the book I was going to get from the library was educational, in the right sense of the word.
'Bella, they are really enjoyable to read and it'll give you an idea of what,' she lowered her voice dramatically 'sex can be like, and all the different
ways there are of doing it.'
'How many different ways can there be?' I asked bewildered 'I mean there's only one place for it to go!'
She laughed and patted my back and I didn't like the knowing glint in her eye.
'You should take a walk down the next aisle,' she said turning me around 'there are some..um.. more revealing books there.'
I forced my feet to move as Alice urged me forward. I trudged down the next aisle and it seemed most of the books were large and obviously of
the picture variety. I gingerly fingered the spines and then closed my eyes and randomly picked one.
I opened the cover, looked at the first page, almost swallowed my tongue and snapped it shut. I looked up and down the aisle, no one was in
sight so I chanced another look. It was a picture of a woman lying naked on a sofa, her skin was milky white and her breasts were full and round, my
eyes trailed lower, her legs were spread. She had a tiny trail of hair just above her... her ... vagina, the rest of it was bare, I squinted at the image, is
this what it should look like?
I'd never seen a picture like this in my life, the only thing I'd seen was during Sex Ed, which I'd only attended once before convincing Charlie to let
me skip it, and that had been a sketch.

Was this what women looked like, I mean I'd never examined my own but I knew I had a lot more coverage than this woman. God, I needed to do
something about that, if Edward put his hand down my underwear he'd think he'd found a small animal. Even standing alone in a bookstore I still
blushed at the thought.
I'd heard of Bikini waxes and never thought it necessary but I'd definitely need one. I opened the book and looked at the woman again, Oh my! I
flicked the pages and the pictures seemed to get more daring with every page I turned. I kept flicking and then froze.
Oh my God! Why, would you put that in your mouth? I closed the book, I could feel beads of sweat forming between my breasts. I shoved the
book back on the shelf and went back in search of Alice.
'These are probably the tamest they have, but they'll give you an idea.' She smiled thrusting four books into my arms. 'What did you make of the
picture books?'
'Alice, I... why... I mean, who would want to put..' I cringed 'there was a picture of a woman on her knees with... she had ... his penis in her ... it was
in her mouth Alice!'
She placed her hand on my shoulder 'Okay, maybe it was a bad idea, sending you there alone, but really Bella, it's a perfectly natural expression
of love.'
I doubted the woman in the picture loved that man and even if she did, why would she want to have such an intimate moment photographed?
Alice smiled at me and leaned in close 'Men like doing that to women too!'
My jaw dropped. I knew I wanted to experience love with Edward but I really had no idea that there were so many ways 'I think it's time I grew up.' I
said steeling myself.
'You'll be fine.' She said and plucked another book from the shelf before plonking it on top of my pile 'You might even have a little fun.'
We left the bookstore and Alice suggested going for coffee. She told me about how she and Jasper had a long talk and he was thoroughly
mortified about the whole thing, but I did get the feeling that Alice was still hurting too and I couldn't help but feel guilty. Even though I knew they could
work it out.
Eventually the conversation turned to my books and she explained how they were basically like romance novels, only a little less ethical and a lot
more graphic. I finally plucked up the courage to tell her what else was bothering me.
'There's one other thing.' I said shyly 'I noticed something about those women in the books..' she looked at me curiously 'I need to... um... lose
some hair.' I grimaced pointing discreetly downwards.
Her eyes flicked downwards and then her mouth popped open 'Oh,' it was her turn to blush 'I'll take you to my salon.'
'Bella,' Alice laughed 'You don't have to walk like that!'
'It's sore,' I hissed 'I feel like I'm on fire!' I grimaced as I remembered the paper panties I'd had to wear, the excruciating embarrassment as the
girl pulled them further and further to the side as she drizzled warm wax on my sensitive skin. I almost felt violated, the paper panties were pretty
pointless in the end, I'm sure she saw everything. Things I hadn't even seen myself.

And the pain! I'd never felt agony like it, why do women do this to themselves when men are quite happily walking around covered in hair?
She eyed my attire 'Maybe we should have waited till you were wearing sweat pants, Jeans aren't the best thing to wear after a Brazilian.'
'A Brazillian? Is that what I had?'
Alice threw her arm around my shoulder and smiled 'I thought you wanted to look like the pictures.'
We shared a cab and as it pulled over outside my building I turned to Alice 'Do you think I can do this?'
She smiled 'Just be patient Bella, he has feelings for you, remember that.'
I hesitated before getting out 'Thanks for everything Alice, I really don't deserve it.'
'Don't be silly.' She said then her eyes popped wide 'Oh! I almost forgot,' she turned to the driver and asked him to wait a second as she jumped
out 'you might want to go see your doctor.'
'Why?' I asked perplexed.
'Birth control.' She said before leaping back into the taxi.
I groaned as I watched the cab pull away from the kerb and Alice flashed me a wide grin from the rear window.
Edward wasn't home yet when I got in and I went to my room and ripped off the jeans, I pulled the band of my panties away from me and peered
down. My skin looked red and irritated and I only had one little strip of hair left, God what had I done it looked ugly.
Alice had suggested using a hand mirror and 'acquainting' myself with my own womanhood as she called it, but I wasn't really sure I was ready
for that, just yet. I pulled on a pair of sweats and then emptied out the books on my bed.
It didn't really matter what one I read first so I picked one up and then removing the dust cover from my Jane Austen book I covered the
paperback and went to make some coffee and have a quiet read.
The sex started on the second page, so much for romance! But since it was under the guise of research, who was I to deny it. My heart was
hammering by the time I got to the end of the chapter, it was a tale filled with wet folds, hard members and eager tongues and I had the ominous
feeling this was only the start of it. The language left a lot to be desired as well. I'd never said the word 'cock' out loud but here I was reading it
twenty times a page.
I read on and surprisingly I became completely engrossed in the story and my thighs clenched with every word. Oral sex, was apparently
common place and Alice was right when it was described like this it wasn't half as offensive as the photographs had seemed. I banished that
image from my head but it was hard not to think of Edward as I read words describing a tongue grazing a nipple or teeth scraping an exposed
neck.
I could feel his hands on me, his lips caressing me, his hot body pressed against me with every word. My head spun guiltily to the door when he
came in and I dropped the book. I was squirming by the time he entered the room. He smiled at me as he removed his jacket and I almost
whimpered as I thought of the possibilities, could I really be capable of the things I'd just enjoyed reading about?
I smiled back.
EPov
Jesus fucking Christ! She was stretched across the sofa with the most ball tightening expression on her face. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes
were burning and yet she looked like she was fucking squirming.
I threw my jacket on the chair and glanced at her book ; Jane Austen, Jane fucking Austen ?, Oh Fuck please don't ask me to turn into Colin
fucking Firth!
 I tried to smile with some semblance of normality, despite the fact that there was so much electricity in the air I was afraid to touch anything in
case I spontaneously combusted.
But she looked so fucking good lying there, wild horses couldn't have stopped me from sitting down beside her. She sighed and I truly couldn't be
imagining the energy rolling off her in waves. Her lips parted slightly as she grinned at me and an adorable flush coloured her cheeks and sent a
raging hot current throbbing in my dick.
I'd spent all day trying to study but the only thing my brain would compute was everything she'd said to me last night. I meant what I said, I didn't
know if I could offer her what she deserved, I'd never took my time with any woman before. I'd only seen the same woman twice on a handful of
occasions and even then it had only been under the duress of Emmett.
Sex had never been memorable enough for me to want to come back to the same honey pot twice. But with Bella, the little things were so
exciting, I didn't have a virgin fetish or anything, there was just something about her that was so fucking captivating. So many things but not one I
could put my finger squarely on: Her unbelievable joy? Her utter honesty? or maybe her completely feminine delight in every touch from me.
Whatever it was I couldn't resist it.
Her smile was fucking awesome and just like that she was back to being that eager little thing in my arms. What kind of asshole was I when I
thought I could give this up, that I could just walk away from the sweetest, hottest fucking thing in my life.
I kissed her and it relieved me of the horrible feeling I'd had since Friday night, that had only briefly left me when she'd opened up to me last night.
I groaned when I thought of that night, one of the worst fucking nights of my life. After leaving the apartment I'd hit the bars downtown, God alone
knows how many I was in.
I roamed the bars looking for a girl to fuck, because I was that stupid, I thought it would help. I got blind drunk but not one of those girls lit my
candle, how could they? The only fucking girl I wanted was out on a date, a fucking date that I, in all my infinite wisdom, had made her go on.
I remember puking on the sidewalk before finally managing to sober up enough to get a cab. I sat outside the apartment in that cab for a long
time, watching the meter click up and listening to the disgruntled sighs of the driver but I couldn't get out. Instead I told him to take me to Emmett's
and I spent the night on his couch with only a bucket by my side for company.
None of it mattered now, she was here, she wanted me and I fucking more than wanted her! Her beautiful face was tilted up expectantly towards
mine, I moulded my lips to hers but it wasn't enough and I flicked my tongue across her lips, they opened eagerly and we were lost.
Her kisses were blowing my mind, she wasn't just eager, she was practically fucking rampant as she almost sucked my tongue right out of my
mouth. Her hands slipped beneath my shirt and roamed across my torso, I loved the way she always rubbed that little trail of hair beneath my navel
but it made me wish her hand would go lower instead of higher.
'God, Bella!' I groaned pulling back to look at her 'You have to let me breathe!' I grinned.
She blushed and apologised and I cupped her face in my hand 'Don't apologise,' I said pressing my lips to hers gently 'I'm only teasing you, it's
great, really!'
She sat up and for an awful second I thought I'd ruined the moment but then she looked up at me from beneath her lashes and asked me to take
her to bed. Fuck me! How was I supposed to take things slowly when she was pushing every button I had? Going all caveman, I stood up and
scooped her into my arms and carried her to my room.
I lay her down on the bed and this time I lay directly on top of her, but her groan of pleasure was quickly followed by a wince.
'Did I hurt you?' I asked rolling off her.
'No, not really, I'm...um... just a little tender...um down there.'
I couldn't stop my eyes from travelling to the juncture of her thighs 'Why? What's wrong?'
I studied her expression and she looked embarrassed but I was concerned now.
She buried her face in my neck and I could feel the heat from her face, I didn't like this.
She said something but her voice was too quiet, too muffled against my throat 'I can't hear you?' I whispered running my fingers through her hair
and trying to coax her to look at me.
Her head raised slightly but she didn't look at me, instead she pressed her lips to my ear 'I...um.. I got waxed today?'
'Waxed?' Wait...waxed? Down there? 'Why?' was all I could come up with, the dummest fucking thing I could.
'I wanted to look nice for you.'

For me, oh Dear Lord of all my Christmases come at once let me fucking see!
I was all kinds of horny now 'And does it?'
The heat against my neck increased, I fucking loved her blushes 'Does what?'
 My voice was barely a whisper 'Does it look nice?'
She trembled again 'I think it looks sort of ugly.'
I highly doubt that!
Oh Jesus! She really didn't need to do anything for me, she was the goddamned sexiest woman I'd ever met just by being herself. Still, the
thought of seeing the result had my dick twitching like it was having its own personal seizure.
'What are you thinking?' She asked and I looked up into her face again, I hadn't realised I'd been trying to see through her sweatpants, it was my
turn to blush, Jesus was there nothing she couldn't make me do?
'Maybe a bath would soothe it.' Or my tongue?
She nodded and I leapt off the bed offering to get the bath ready, there was no way she was doing this alone. She went to her room to get ready
and I stood in the bathroom watching the bath fill and wishing my dick would calm the fuck down. I shoved my hand down my jeans to adjust it to a
more comfortable position and groaned as soon as I touched it.
Fuck! There wasn't enough time to knock one out, I'd just have to grin and bear it for the time being. I snatched my hand out when I heard her
coming and turned as she walked in wearing only her robe and her hair was all piled up on her head. Twitch fucking twitch.
She glanced at the bath 'You forgot the bubble bath.' She pointed out.
'Did I?' I replied with mock innocence. 'Do you want me to add some?'
She knew what I was asking and to help her decide I pulled her to me and kissed her, slowly and thoroughly. Her hands came up to my hair and
that fucking cast scraped painfully across my ear, I couldn't wait for her to get that thing off. I could feel her nipples harden through my shirt but I could
also hear her heart hammering.
She was nuzzling my neck as I reached over her and poured some bubble bath into the running water. 'Thank you.' She whispered.
I turned my back as she slipped into the water and I wished I could get in with her, but there was plenty time for us to get to that stage. Once she
was fully immersed she let me know and I turned.
Her gorgeous tits were barely covered by the bubbles and my mouth watered at the sight of them.
'You were right,' she smiled 'It does feel better.'
I grabbed the shampoo bottle and she sat up as I kneeled down 'Can I touch you?'
She nodded and I slid my desperate hands over her warm wet flesh and marvelled as her nipples pebbled against my palm. She rewarded me
with yet another cock twitching sigh and I squeezed a little harder, leaning forward to capture her sweet mouth with mine.
'Oh, God I've missed you!' She sighed.

I know the fucking feeling baby!

My tongue probed her mouth but it wasn't enough, I had to wash her hair and get her the fuck out of that bath so I could reach her better. All of her.
I grabbed the showerhead and set about my task, there would be no two fucking minute conditioner tonight. I rinsed her hair and then grabbed the
soap, I was done asking, if she wanted me to stop she'd tell me.
I rubbed the soap in my hands and swirled the lather, first over her back and shoulders and then down past her breasts and onto her stomach, I
stopped when I hit the water. She didn't protest, even when I slipped a hand beneath the water and circled her ankle, I pulled her leg gently up but
thanks to the fucking bubbles I couldn't see a thing.
I lathered one leg then the other but I could see she was a little uncomfortable so I handed her the soap 'You can do the good bits.' I grinned.
She nodded and when her hand plunged into the water my head dropped onto the edge of the bath, there was only so much I could actually
watch without being allowed to take part. She moved around under there for a bit and I finally stood up and grabbed a towel. I left it on the sink.
'I won't be long.' She said as I turned away.
'I'll be waiting.' I said and as I passed through the doorway I almost broke into a sprint. I ripped off my jeans as soon as I got into my room and
couldn't resist palming my cock a couple of times, God she'd be the death of me. I pulled on sweats and got into bed.
Come on! Come on! What the fuck is taking so long?
Finally she stepped into the room and I had the biggest grin on my face. She had a towel wrapped around her hair and the robe was pulled so
tight it was almost wrapped around her twice.
She sat on the edge of the bed and I scooted behind her and pulled the towel down before rubbing the worst of the wetness out of her hair. I slid
my arms around her waist and pulled her back gently, kissing the crook of her neck.
 She turned to face me 'Move over.' I did and she lifted her feet and lay down beside me 'Kiss me?'
She didn't have to ask twice.
She wound her arms around my neck and her lips traced a gloriously delightful path across my cheek and to my earlobe which she sucked into
her mouth. 'Open my robe.' She breathed.
'Are you sure?'
She nodded and I attacked the belt with relish. I untied it and looked directly into her eyes as I parted it, I knew what this meant to her and I
wanted to make sure that she was truly ready for it. Her eyes glittered like stars in the light from my lamp and she looked like she'd been waiting for
this moment forever.

I wanted my eyes to trail down her torso but they were far to greedy and zeroed straight in on her. OH MY FUCKING GOD! No wonder it hurt!
She was almost completely bare except for one tiny strip of hair above her invitingly swollen lips. Her flesh was still a little red from her salon visit but
it added to her beauty.
I'd seen women before but I'd never really paid so much attention, it had never meant anything to them. Their breathing didn't hitch like this, their
hearts didn't hammer so loudly and they'd never given me this much.
My tongue ached, my fingers itched and my cock throbbed, there was so many ways I wanted to touch her but I couldn't be sure she was ready.
'Bella,' I groaned 'I need to touch you.'
'Yes!' she whimpered and I looked up into her eyes and saw the hesitancy.
I moved closer to her face and touched my forehead to hers 'You are one beautiful sexy woman Bella Swan, your pussy is definitely not ugly.'
Her breathing hitched and I guessed it was my choice of word but I let it pass without comment. She was gonna have to get used to more words.
I snaked my hands slowly up her thighs and pulled back as I parted her legs gently, her little gasp stopped me and I bent and kissed her knee 'It's
okay.'
'Touch me.'
I spread her legs wider, she was fucking gorgeous, all pink and glistening and I shook with the force of wanting her. I kissed her harder and
deeper than ever as I finally traced one finger across her soft outer lips, I swallowed her gasps as my finger dipped between them and I felt the slick
heat of her arousal. Her skin was so soft and warm and perfect.
Her hips bucked and she moaned into my mouth as her hands clutched at my shoulders, the roughness of her cast digging into my flesh. I
pressed a second finger to her flesh and circled her clit gently as my lips slid downwards to capture a nipple. She arched her back when I sucked
and I rubbed her clit harder.
'Oh, Edward,' she groaned I fucking love it when she moans my name 'that...feels..so...good.'
I sucked on her other nipple but it wasn't enough I needed to taste her. I paused and pressed my lips to her ear 'I want to taste you.' I murmured
and she stiffened. I slid my fingers over her clit again and she moaned 'It'll feel just like that Bella, you'll like it I promise.'
'Edward... I..'
'Please.' I begged, I wanted her to come on my tongue. 'I want to.'
She slid her fingers into my hair and gripped as I slid down her torso, kissing every inch of her as I lowered. I dipped my tongue into her navel
and she jumped in fright which made me grin. I lapped at the soft skin on her flat belly and then I smelled her, Fuck! She smelled so good.
She was almost ripping my hair out by the roots as my lips brushed across her mound, she was whimpering and writhing beneath me and I
withdrew my fingers from her folds before sliding both thumbs gently over her sensitive bare lips, I parted her and closed my mouth over her
exposed clit.
'Edward!' She yelled at the first lash of my tongue and I winced as she yanked at my hair. 'Stop.'
I did and quickly slid back up her body, pulling her to me, 'It's okay,' I soothed planting kisses on her eyelids, her nose and finally her mouth, she
relaxed as my tongue slid inside. I felt the moment she tasted herself, her fingers dug into my back and she pulled back. I nuzzled her neck.
'I can't imagine why you would want to do that.' She whispered.
'Because you taste so good and I want to make you come.' I murmured lifting my head to look at her 'It's perfectly natural.' I promised.
I kissed her again and slid my hand between her legs 'It's okay,' God I wanted this so badly 'I want to do this.'
I looked into her eyes and I saw trust and I almost lost my nerve, but I pushed that stupid thought away and kissed my way down her body. I
settled fully between her legs, she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Her hands were back in my hair but less painfully this time and I
lowered my mouth back to where it ached to be.
 I licked from her entrance right up to her clit and then flicked it gently, she bucked and gasped and whispered and I fucking loved her for it. I
snaked one hand beneath her and tilted her pelvis before sucking her clit gently, her knees clamped shut and I yelped as her thigh popped my ear.
'I'm sorry!' She cried.
I grinned, she was the sexiest clumsy person I'd ever met. I rubbed my ear a little but really, the ache in my pants was far worse than that and I just
had to get back to the task at hand. I sucked her again and this time her knees only twitched. I lapped all around her wet flesh, loving the taste of
her, the smell of her and the sound of her pleasure as she moaned for me.
I ground my cock into the mattress, desperate for some relief and all the time my tongue danced over her flesh. I wanted to push a finger inside
her but she wasn't ready for that yet so instead I curled my other hand beneath her too and held her up to my hungry mouth.
'Oh God, Edward, I can feel it.' She gasped. Oh yeah baby keep talking 'Oh yes, Oh you're so good, yes, you're so good..' her hips were
bucking now she was so close, she was straining for it. I glanced up but her eyes were closed and her hands were fisted in the sheets, her tits were
quivering with every rasping breath.
I clamped my lips over her and sucked hard before flicking my tongue furiously over her swollen clit. She exploded beneath me, bucking and
pulling at my hair and gasping my name while I desperately fought to keep my mouth on her.
Her hips dropped onto the bed and I removed my hands from beneath her and lapped gently at her outer lips before sliding back up and pulling
her into my arms. 'Thank you.' I whispered as her lips fluttered across my neck.
She mumbled something back but kept her face buried in my neck, she was panting and I'd never enjoyed a sound more. Within minutes I could
hear the deep rhythmic breaths of her slumber. I carefully climbed out of bed and darted for the shower!
She was still sleeping when I got back, I couldn't take her back to her own bed tonight, not after that. I put on a pair of boxers and flicked off the
light before climbing in beside her. She moaned a little as I moved around trying to get a comfortable position then she curled against my chest and
threw her knee across my thigh. I fell asleep enjoying the feeling of having her naked body wrapped around mine.
a/n Right well I'm off to NYC baby! I'll be on a major downer when I get back so reviews would really really make that better for me. I
have 170 alerts now so if you haven't reviewed so far please do and make my day when I come back! Pretty please! Also since this is
pretty much as far as I've got I'd love to hear your thoughts on where Bella and Edward should go from here. Okay TTFN! X
Chapter 22
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
BPov
The first thought that struck me as my eyes fluttered open was that my window was on the wrong side of my room, the second was that my pillow
had a heartbeat. I swallowed and my own heart kicked up the pace as memories from last night flickered to life in my head. A tiny groan escaped
my lips as I remembered how he'd.. Oh my! He'd been licking me.. God but it was so good, the things he did to me and he thanked me?
I lay listening to the beat of his heart and feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest and the broad grin that stretched across my face was all
because of him. I felt like I could die right then and I'd die happy, there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be but in his arms. The soft
sprinkle of his chest hair tickled my cheek as I pressed myself closer to him.
'Morning.' His voice was rough and heavy with sleep and I shifted so I could look up into his face. He was smiling too.
I leaned up on my elbow and pressed my lips to his, he pulled back slightly 'I have morning breath.' He grimaced.
'I don't care.' I smiled kissing him again 'You smelled worse last night.'
His smile was crooked now and his eyes lit with the memory of last night and my cheeks flamed. I buried my face in the crook of his neck 'You
smell and taste great to me.' He murmured and even though I cringed I couldn't help but feel a little bit pleased at his admission.
His watch beeped twice and he groaned startling me out of my reverie 'I have classes.' He complained sitting upright and leaving me lying at eye
level with his crotch and inches away from his cotton covered erection. I gasped.
He looked down at me and chuckled 'I'm sorry, it's a morning thing.' He offered.
I looked at the shape of him through his boxers and a slight frisson of apprehension fluttered in my belly. I'd never touched him, I didn't know how
to but for some unfathomable reason I found myself wanting to.

'Bella,' he whispered, his voice was low and filled with warning and a little hint of amusement 'I really have to go, could you maybe not look at me
like that.'
'I'm sorry.' I blushed and quick as a flash he scooted down beside me again and crushed his lips to mine.
'Don't apologise, if I had more time I would have no problem with you looking at me whatsoever,' he cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead
'but these classes are really important.'
I nodded. 'I'll make breakfast.' I said getting out of bed.
He caught my hand 'I enjoyed sleeping with you.' He grinned.
I met Alice at lunchtime, the arrangement was that she would drag me round all the stores to help me find a suitable dress for Charlie's wedding.
Having no sense of style I hated shopping and would have quite happily just bought the first dress that fitted me. Alice had other ideas, though, and
the dread with which I had been anticipating this trip turned out to be fully justified.
I lost count of the dresses I'd tried on while Alice clucked around me muttering about colours and textures and 'not the right cut for your shape', I
was thoroughly bored and just about losing the will to live when she finally threw her hands up in delighted exclamation.
'Perfect!' She yelled clapping her hands together like a seal.
I turned to face the mirror and was confronted by a vision in green. I had to agree with her, the colour was beautiful a deep emerald green and the
bodice was tight and strapless and ruffled slightly to the waist where it smoothed out over my hips and hugged my form all the way to the floor. It was
more form fitting than anything I had ever worn before and even though I liked it I wasn't sure I had the confidence to pull it off.
'Isn't it a little too tight for a wedding?' I asked meeting her gaze in the mirror.
'Not at all, but if you're not comfortable, then the one I make will be slightly looser.'
I nodded then my head spun to face her 'Wait.. the one you make? We're not buying this?'
She grinned and shook her head 'Go get dressed, we have one last shop to go to.'
She bundled me in a cab and gave the driver directions before finally explaining herself. 'It's a hobby of mine,' she smiled 'I like to make clothes,
if I'd had more time I would have designed a dress for you but this way was much quicker. Now I know what suits you I can make an almost exact
copy of that dress for you for a fraction of the price.'
'I didn't know you could do that.' I said in awe.
'I'd love to set up my own business doing it but for now it's just a hobby when I get the time,' she smiled at me 'or the inspiration.'
 The cab pulled up outside a long row of units and I followed Alice into the first one, she breezed around the aisles throwing things into her cart.
She was humming happily and I had never seen her like this. Her eyes were as wide as saucers as her fingers slid along the rows of fabric, pausing
here and there to rub the material between her thumb and fingers.
'This material is slightly thinner than the dress you tried on,' she said offering the material to me to feel 'but it's perfect, it'll hang better and the
colour is almost exactly the same.'
Finally satisfied that she had everything she needed I handed over Charlie's money and was surprised by the bundle she returned after she paid
for the materials. I offered it to her as payment for making the dress but she wouldn't hear of it.
We went back to her place where she stripped me to my underwear and practically measured every part of my body while I stood prickling with
utter embarrassment. Alice, of course, was completely comfortable and I tried hard to focus on that, to imagine what it must be like not to have all
these silly hang ups and to be so uptight about everything all the time.
'So how are you enjoying the books?' She asked scribbling numbers down in her little black notebook.
Perfect timing as usual, just when I'm feeling inspired by her easy manner and unaffected disposition she launches into this conversation.
'I'm almost finished the first one.' I said ignoring the blush I could feel heating my cheeks.
She glanced up at me and smiled, there was a glint in her eyes that looked like pride. 'Did you get any tips from it?' Her smile turned
mischievous and I couldn't hold the eye contact as the image of Edward between my legs flickered in my mind.
I felt my nipples pebble 'Do you mind if I get dressed before we discuss this?' I asked and she shook her head turning her attention back to the
notebook.
'No go ahead, I'm done here.'
I dressed quickly and found her in the kitchen rooting around in the fridge 'Do you want to stay for dinner?' she asked, her head was still in the
fridge 'Jasper is out with his dad tonight.'
'I'd love to.' I smiled.
She didn't raise the subject again while we cooked dinner but as soon as we finished our meal she handed me a large glass of wine and sat
beside me on the sofa. 'Okay, so the books,' she sipped her wine 'we've established you like them, but do they make you feel like you might want to
try some things?'
God, she was just so bold! 'Is this appropriate?' I stammered 'I mean Edward is your cousin and..um.. do people really discuss their private lives
like this?'
She threw her head back and laughed 'I love Edward he's my cousin but this is not inappropriate believe me, I just want to see you guys happy.
And yes, people do talk openly about sex, it's not for everyone mind, so please don't think I'm prying, you don't have to tell me anything you don't
want to.'
'I do want to,' I admitted 'that's the point, I don't have anyone else I can talk about this with.'
'I'm always happy to listen Bella and it won't go any further I promise.' She frowned 'Is there something bothering you?'
'Not really,' I sighed 'well, a little bit. I...um.. well, he's given me things and I don't know how to give back.'
She smiled gently 'Are we talking orgasms here?'

I nodded trying in vain not to blush 'I haven't even touched him,' my eyes dropped to my hands wringing in my lap ' there.'
'You know the books are pretty graphic, you should pay attention to what the women do to the men as well as the other way round.' She laughed
softly and I was relieved that there was no judgement in her tone at all 'It can be surprisingly easy to make a man come, they tend to be quite visually
stimulated so as long as he can see as well as feel what you're doing...'
'I don't know if I can do that.' I gasped.
'Bella, don't put yourself under so much pressure, just give yourself time, maybe you should practice a little.'
'Practice?'
She stretched out an arm and plucked a banana from the fruit bowl and we both burst out laughing when she wiggled it at me.
It was late when I got home and I was feeling a little buzzed from the wine when I closed the door a little too loudly behind me. Edward poked his
head out of the bathroom, a toothbrush jammed between his teeth, and smiled at me.
'I'm just getting ready to hit the sack,' he said pulling the brush out 'did you have a good time at Alice's?'
He stood in the doorway and resumed brushing his teeth, he wasn't wearing a shirt, his belt was undone and the top two buttons on his jeans
were open. I couldn't help but stare and when I finally managed to wrench my gaze away he winked at me and stepped back into the bathroom.
 I took off my jacket and hung it up slowly before turning back to find him standing in the doorway again. I forced my eyes to stay trained on his
face as he walked towards me.
'I have another early start tomorrow and then I have a lecture to go to in the evening,' he smelled of soap and toothpaste and stood so close my
lips and fingers itched to touch him 'so I'm just going to head off to bed.' He leaned forward and kissed me softly but all too briefly 'I'm gonna be
pretty busy this week so you won't see much of me,' his mouth slid up to my temple 'but I'll make it up to you when I'm done.'
I sucked in a sharp breath and nodded 'I'll hold you to that.'
He chuckled and pulled me into a warm hug 'Goodnight.'
Lying in bed thirty minutes later I was still all hot and bothered from just those two little kisses and a hug. Giving up on the pretence of trying to
sleep I flicked my lamp on and pulled my book out of the nightstand drawer. I smiled as I thought of Edward spending his days and nights studying
medicine while I was studying this instead of my own course work.

He stood before her, smirking, they both knew why she was here and it was futile to pretend otherwise. Samantha untied the belt of her coat
and slowly peeled the fabric away from her naked body, his eyes widened and it was her turn to smirk.
His eyes trailed lower over her naked form lingering on her tits before lowering still to her bare pussy, he licked his lips and Samantha
grinned, she had him right where she wanted him. 'Take off your clothes.' She ordered, sitting down opposite him and spreading her legs for
good measure.
He made short work of removing his clothes as his eyes stayed glued to her glistening pussy, she eyed him expectantly as he dipped his
fingers below the waistband of his boxer shorts and slowly started to pull them down. Her fingers lowered in time with his movements and when
his dick at last sprung free from its confines she groaned and circled her clit with two fingers.
He watched fascinated as she rubbed harder but made no move towards her, his eyes flicked to her face and her eyes met his briefly before
hers rolled back and she increased her tempo. His dick twitched as he watched her get herself off and still he didn't move, he knew how much of
an exhibitionist she was.
He could see how wet she was as her fingers worked furiously, her tits were bouncing and her head lolled back and she opened her legs wider
as the loud moan of her orgasm reverberated around the room. Her fingers slowed as her head came back up and she grinned wickedly at him.
She removed her fingers from her sex and crooked them in invitation at him.
He strode towards her and she brushed her palms up his thighs stopping him directly in front of her with his dick straining in her face. Without
a word she slid her left hand between his legs and cupped his balls, he groaned as her thumb brushed over them and his dick bobbed when he
clenched in pleasure.
She wrapped her other hand around his base and squeezed gently 'Fuck.' He muttered as she maintained the pressure with a long slow
stroke to the head. Her thumb flicked across the tip spreading the drop of pre-cum from the slit all the way around it and back again, he was
leaking more now and she spread it half way down his shaft as she stroked him again.
He moved his hands to her head and balanced himself as she squeezed his balls harder while working her other hand up and down his
length, he felt his balls tighten but held on, she loved to tease him like this but it wouldn't be long till he had her mouth.
His thighs began to shake and she took this as her cue and released her grip on him, she sat forward on the chair and he watched fascinated
as she slid her hands behind him and gripping his ass pulled him towards her glorious talented mouth. She kissed the head and swirled her
tongue around it as he fought the urge to ram his cock home.
She moaned slightly and opened her mouth allowing him to slide inside, he gritted his teeth as she gripped the base of his shaft again while
taking as much of him as she could inside. He was almost to the back of her throat when she hollowed her cheeks and sucked hard, 'Oh yeah,
baby.' He grunted as his hips bucked.
She began bobbing her head and her lips gripped his rigid flesh as she sucked hard swirling her tongue around his head everytime she
pulled back. Her fingers dug into his hips pulling him closer as she moaned around his cock, then she pulled all the way back and sucked on
his tip as her tongue flicked violently and his balls tightened as she took them in her hand again.
She sucked the tip, gripped his base and fondled his balls before sliding her mouth as far as she could back down his length, his hips
bucked as she looked up at him through her lashes. He loved the sight of her lips wrapped around his cock and he bucked again as she began
sucking and stroking relentlessly.
He hissed as he felt himself lose control and she worked him eagerly and sucked greedily as he poured his hot spunk down her throat.
'Fuck!' He yelled riding the waves but all too soon she released him with a soft pop and sat back in the chair smirking up at him.
I dropped the book back into my drawer and my thighs clenched, maybe this wasn't such a good idea, I was more tense now than I had been to
start with and sleep was definitely out of the question. My breathing was slightly heavier than normal and all I wanted to do was go to Edward but I
couldn't.
I closed my eyes and was hit by the image of Edward standing naked before me just like the man in the book, having never seen him like that it
wasn't easy to imagine, it was a vague image at best. It floored me to realise that I was actually aroused by the thought of doing that for Edward, but
I knew reading it and acting on it were two entirely different concepts.
I groaned as the familiar ache between my legs intensified, I thought of 'samantha' and my own fingers snaked beneath my pyjamas. I felt the soft
sprinkling of hair and bit my lip, it felt so dirty but the need was stronger and I slowly slid my middle finger across my wet flesh. I moaned and my
eyes flew open, it seemed so loud in my quiet room.
I lay completely still for a few moments warring with my conscience but the temptation was too great and I pressed my finger harder against that
little nub that Edward had so expertly teased with his tongue. Oh God, the thought of that turned me on more and I pulled my pyjama shorts down
and opened my legs a little wider.
It felt so good and replaying the images of Edward made it so much better, I was trying to keep my moans as quiet as possible. My heart was
hammering in my chest and my arm was beginning to ache a little but I couldn't stop, not yet, I wasn't ready quite yet.
I imagined Edward watching me and a low groan rumbled in my chest, imagining his eyes watching me do this tipped me over the edge. I felt it
coming, my stomach tensed, my shoulders and head lifted off the bed and my hips bucked as wonderful release washed over me.
I sagged back down and instantly shame washed over me. I turned and pressed my face into the pillow and cried.
a/n Since I got back from NY I've had a WHOLE week to write uninterrupted and have hardly managed to write anything at all. I
seem to have lost my mojo! I really need your reviews more than ever so I'd appreciate a few to help me get the spark back. Any
suggestions or criticisms are MORE than welcome.
Chapter 23
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Hey guys! THANKYOU SO MUCH for the favourites alerts and most of all the reviews, thanks to all my regular reviewers, thank
GOD for you guys! And a special shout to the new reviewers I hope you'll come back and do it again! I think I got over 20 reviews for
this chapter and you have no idea how happy that made me! Especially right now!
Thanks for all your questions about NYC, if you ever get the chance you simply HAVE to go, it's the craziest place in the world but
impossible not to feel comfortable in it! We met Yoko Ono as well and she's a real lady!
Okay on to this chapter, my mojo is still in hiding but I am trying my best to coax him out. A couple of reviewers questioned why
Bella cried at the end of the last chapter. Masturbating for the first time is really a big deal and for some yeah, it's simply a pleasurable
thing but for a lot of people it is quite an emotional experience and one that is confusing too. For Bella it had special connotations
that I hope will become clear in the next chapter but for now she is trying not to think about it.
My cell phone jingled loudly in my pocket and I rushed to answer it grimacing apologetically at the scowling faces around the waiting room.
'Hello?' I whispered.
'Why are you whispering?' It was Alice.
'I'm in the hospital.' I explained still whispering.
'Oh right, I forgot you're getting the cast off today.' She paused 'I've made a start on the dress but I need you to come over so I can pin it, can you
come over today?'
'Sure,' I whispered desperate to get off the phone 'I'll call you when I'm done here.'
I snapped the phone closed and switched it off while avoiding eye contact with my disapproving fellow patients. Thankfully I didn't have to wait
long and the relief when the cast was finally removed was immeasurable. I flexed my fingers with a grin and almost embarrassed myself with the
ecstasy of finally being able to scratch the skin on that arm.
I made my way through the narrow corridors following the signs for the planned parenthood clinic, I'd made the appointment under Alice's advice
but I was dreading it. I had no idea what to expect, what questions would they ask? The clinic was in a small building separate from the main
hospital but still within the grounds, I ran through the rain to get there and then stopped in the door way sucking in a deep breath.
I plump dark skinned receptionist looked up and smiled as the door slid closed behind me 'May I help you?'
'I have an appointment at one.' I stammered, looking around the waiting area, the walls were a bright yellow colour and adorned with all sorts of
posters regarding, pregnancy and sexual health. There were only two other women waiting.
'Your name?' She asked.
'Isabella Swan.' I said quietly. She asked me to take a seat and I sat down and drummed my fingers on my legs nervously.
An older woman with blonde hair approached me and handed me a clipboard and pen 'Can you fill these out and hand them back to the
receptionist when you're finished please?' She asked with a smile.
'Sure.' I said and then frowned at the thick wad of forms.
They asked all sorts of questions about my own health and that of my parents, did diabetes, heart attacks or strokes run in the family? I wasn't
sure, both sets of grandparents were dead before I was born and I'd neither Charlie nor my mother had ever gone into great detail. I ticked the no
boxes.
Eventually I was ushered into a small room and was glad that it was a woman I was seeing, she asked more questions about my last period and
if I was sexually active at the moment. I balked at that question but she didn't falter and went on to ask if there was any chance I could be pregnant
now. I shook my head.
She took my blood pressure and weighed me and then discussed several different methods of birth control before also reminding me that
condoms were the only method that protected against STD's. I didn't want to think about that! Finally we agreed the pill would be the best method
for me and she wrote me a prescription.
I stuffed the prescription in my pocket and ran back through the rain to the main hospital, I was shaking the rain off my hood when I spotted Jacob
coming towards me pushing a gurney with an old woman lying on it. When he reached me I noticed she was sleeping and he slowed to a stop.
'Jacob!' I smiled.
'You got the cast off then?' He said pointing at my newly released arm, then he frowned slightly 'What are you doing down this end?'
I jerked my thumb behind me before I realised what I was doing 'I had another appointment.'
 He looked out the window 'Oh...OH!'
There was an awkward moment before he finally grinned 'So it's not unrequited anymore?'
I blushed and shook my head 'Um.. not so much.'
'Listen, I've got a lunch break coming up in ten minutes, if you're not doing anything...?' He left the end of the question hanging in the air.
'No,' I smiled 'I'm pretty hungry actually.'
His grin widened and then he looked down at the old woman 'I better get going, I'll meet you at the main entrance in ten minutes?'
'Okay.' I nodded as he moved towards the elevators to our right and stabbed the button.
Fifteen minutes later we were sitting at a small table in the corner of the ground floor cafe.
'So, am I allowed to ask who the lucky guy is?' Jacob asked taking a huge bite out of his sandwich.
I took a sip of my soup to buy a few moments before I answered 'I don't want this to be common knowledge yet.' I said.
'You can trust me Bella,' he said earnestly 'after all, you know my secret.' He reminded me.
'It's Edward.' I blurted bracing myself for his reaction.
His eyes widened and his lips pressed together forming a thin grim line.
'You're shocked!' I stated, though perhaps I was more shocked than him.
'Yeah!,' he said twirling his Styrofoam coffee cup on the table, 'I mean, I know he has a thing for you, that much was obvious at the barbecue,
but...' His voice trailed off and he looked uncomfortable. He lifted his sandwich and took a huge bite and shrugged as if to say it was none of his
business.
It wasn't really but I was still curious to know why this seemed to bother him 'But what?' I asked.
He finished chewing, took a long drink of coffee and then set the cup down carefully as if it was made from delicate crystal, he was stalling. I eyed
him pointedly.
'Ok, I just didn't think he was the kind of guy you'd go for.'
'Why?'
'Look, I like Edward, don't get me wrong, he's a great friend, but he's not exactly boyfriend material,' he glanced at me 'and I assume that's what
you're looking for; a boyfriend?'
It sounded so juvenile when he put it like that but he was right, I was looking for a relationship and Edward had already agreed to try. 'I know he
has a past,' I said quietly 'but he's different with me.'
His hand shot across the table and grabbed mine 'Look, I don't want to rain on your parade, and I shouldn't have said anything,' he rubbed my
palm with his thumb 'I just wouldn't like to see you get hurt.'
'You think he'll hurt me?'
'Not physically,' he said balking at the idea he regarded me over our joined hands for a long moment as if debating within himself what to say
next 'Sorry, I...I'm being unfair to Edward, he's a great guy and...'
'Jacob, I get that he's got a past that everyone seems to take great pains to warn me about but it really doesn't bother me. All I'm concerned
about is what he's like now, with me, and what he'll be like in the future.'
He laced his fingers through mine 'I'm sorry.'
'Don't be,' I smiled. 'I appreciate your honesty, that's what friends do, right?'
He grinned at me and opened his mouth to say something but then a quiet voice behind us broke the moment.
'Jacob?'
We turned in unison to see a tall dark haired girl approaching the table, she was stunningly beautiful. Her skin was dark like Jacob's and her hair
the same glossy black too, sleek like wet tar it hung almost to her waist. Her almond shaped eyes were dark and I didn't fail to notice how they
flicked repeatedly to Jacob's hand on mine. We let go at the same time.
'Leah!' He exclaimed jumping to his feet 'What are you doing here?' Suddenly he was transformed into an excited boy as he curved his hand
under her elbow.
 'Paul has an appointment.' She said and both their expressions hardened briefly. Her eyes darted to me again and Jacob snapped out of his
little trance.
'Oh, sorry, this is Bella,' he smiled gesturing towards me and I held my hand out to her 'Bella this is Leah.'
'It's nice to meet you.' I said and she nodded as she took my hand but said nothing.
They stared at each other for a few moments and I felt like I had intruded on their lunch.
'Leah!' A tall dark man on crutches was making his way towards us with great effort, clearly in a foul mood he glared at Leah who started at the
sound of her name. Jacob let go of her as she turned away. 'There you are, I thought you were going to wait at the main entrance?' He snapped.
'I just came over to say hello to Jacob,' she said quietly and then glanced at me 'and his girlfriend.' She waved her hand in his direction 'This is
Paul, my husband.'
The man scowled at her and only briefly glanced at me before nodding at Jacob 'It's about time you got yourself some.' He said and even though
he was grinning his tone still sounded sour.
I managed to hide my shock at his rudeness and touched Jacob's hand when it looked like he might say something in return. Jacob looked at me
and offered me a tight smile, he was angry but I noticed he didn't do anything to correct either Leah or Paul in their assumptions about me.
'Did you bring the car round?' Paul asked Leah, she shook her head 'For fuck's sake Leah, go get it then, I'm not hanging around this fucking
place all day!'
Her shoulders sagged and she hurried away, Paul on the other hand used his crutch to pull out a chair and sat down uninvited at our table. I went
back to my soup even though my appetite was long gone.
'You don't mind if I wait here with you two lovebirds do you?' he said as an afterthought stretching his legs out in front of him.
I had expected him to be in a wheelchair, especially since Jacob has mentioned that he had been badly injured in the accident. A deep angry
scar cut a knobbly path down the right side edge of his face, stretching from just below his temple and disappeared down beneath the collar of his
shirt, but other than that and the crutches I could see no further signs of his injuries.
'So you kept this quiet.' He said to Jacob but looking at me.
'Bella and I are just friends.' Jacob said finally but this only served to amuse Paul more.
'What is it with you and chicks?' he snorted 'You're always "just friends".' I turned away in disgust when he actually made little air quotes with his
fingers. 'You need to man up if you want to get some pussy.'
'Hey, watch your mouth!' Jacob spat.
Paul turned to me 'Sorry!' He grinned unapologetically.
Thankfully Leah came back quickly and he got up to leave, I noticed then how stiff his right leg was and Leah curled her arm beneath him as he
rose 'I can fucking manage!' He hissed yanking his arm away.
They both said goodbye and I pushed my plate away 'Well, isn't he just a total sweetheart!' I groused.
'Sorry about that.' Jacob said and my heart clenched for him as I saw the sadness in his eyes as he watched them leave 'He's such an asshole!'
'I thought you said he was practically an invalid.' I said as he finally turned back to me.
'After the accident he was paralysed, he regained the use of his arms pretty quickly but not his legs. The right one had to be amputated below the
knee. For a long time, he was bed ridden and then he just wouldn't even try to get up, he's very bitter,' He snorted 'Of course, he was like that before
the accident anyway.'
'When did he get the feeling back in his legs?' I asked.
'He had surgery last year, it was a shot in the dark really, but that bastard doesn't know how lucky he is. He got fitted with an prosthetic leg a few
months ago and even though he can get around now he's still whining like a bitch all the time.' He frowned and looked at me apologetically and I
smiled gently to show him I didn't mind.
'So Leah doesn't have to stay with him.'
He smiled sadly 'Yeah, it sounds so simple when you say it like that.'
'I'm sorry,' I offered 'It's none of my business.'
He laughed but it sounded bitter 'Yeah, but we always seem to be poking around in each other's business.'
He checked his watch, clearly in no mood to talk about it further so I didn't say anything else. We sat for a few moments in silence before Jacob
finally pushed his chair back. 'I should get back to work.'
 'Of course.' I said standing up and scooping our uneaten lunch back onto the tray.
He waited while I dumped it in the trash and then walked me to the main entrance 'Well it was good seeing you again.' He said stiffly and I knew
he was still dwelling on seeing Leah.
He stood looking down at me but his eyes weren't really focussed, I really felt bad for him and just had to hug him. I wrapped my arms around his
waist and pressed my ear to his chest 'Thanks for lunch.'
At first he didn't react and then his arms wound around me and he pulled me a little tighter than I had anticipated but I smiled, I'd been right, he
needed a hug. Maybe not from me, but he still needed it just the same.
He released me and this time his smile was genuine 'Thanks,' he turned to walk away and then stopped 'When are you bringing that truck by?
You know, you shouldn't neglect an engine that old!'
'I'll call you.' I laughed and then watched him till he disappeared around the corner.
After having my dress fitting at Alice's I came home and made a quick dinner of pasta and tomato sauce and then cleaned up the kitchen. I sat at
the table in the living room and caught up with some homework but by nine, I was completely bored and made my way to my room.
My book was lying on top of the nightstand but after the other night I couldn't face it. I still felt slightly ashamed of myself for doing that and I turned
away from the book as if it were taunting me. I sat down at the piano and flexed my stiff fingers, it had been too long since I'd been able to play.
I lost myself in the music, just playing any tune that came to me and almost jumped out of my skin when I finished a piece and received a lone
applause. I turned to see Edward leaning against the door frame.
'You scared me!' I laughed 'I didn't hear you come in.'
He looked exhausted, dark circles bruised the flesh beneath his eyes and his skin held a grey pallor that rendered the stubble on his chin darker.
'How does it feel to have the cast off.' He asked stepping into the room.
'Great.' I grinned and turned back to the piano 'It's so nice to be able to play again.'
He chuckled 'And maybe you'll be able to run your fingers through my hair now without nearly knocking me out.'
I blushed.
'Do you mind if I stay and listen for a while?'
'It's getting late, I should probably call it a night.'
'Just one more tune?' His voice was velvety smooth and I couldn't deny him anything.
He sat down on my bed and I began to play, I must have played for longer than I realised because this time when I was finished it was met with
silence and I turned to see him sprawled across my bed fast asleep. One foot was still on the floor and I squatted beside him and carefully removed
his shoe.
He stirred a little and shuffled up the bed groaning but still asleep. I took off his other shoe and then his socks, I rocked back on my heels rolling
his socks into a ball and wondering if I should wake him. He looked so peaceful and he'd clearly had a tough day so I decided just to leave him
where he was.
I watched him for a little while and recalled Jacob's earlier trepidation. Alice seemed to be the only one that believed in Edward the way I did,
everyone else kept harping on about his so called reputation. I mean, it's not as if he was a mass murderer, I couldn't imagine what he'd done that
was so bad. I looked at his beautiful face, smooth and relaxed in his slumber. He'd spent the day studying hard and I his desire to achieve his
dream of becoming a doctor was evident in his dedication. Why couldn't they see that side of him? Or the way he is with me, gentle, patient and
kind. And passionate!
I went to the kitchen and made myself a cup of cocoa and drank it while staring out of the window onto the empty street below. The streets were
dark and wet and my attention turned back to Edward it would be nice to snuggle up to him on a night like this. I drained the last of my cocoa,
washed the cup and headed back to my room, stopping to brush my teeth en route.
I crept into the room and though he was still sleeping he had moved fully onto the bed, I eyed his clothes but decided against trying to undress
him. I didn't want to wake him and risk him leaving.
I stripped and got into my pyjamas all the while stealing glances at him to make sure he was still asleep and then finally ready I slipped into bed
beside him and pulled the covers over us. He was on his side and snoring softly so I positioned myself against him so we were spooning and gently
pulled his arm around my waist. I feel asleep enjoying the warmth of his body around me and the soft sweep of his breath on the back of my neck.
My eyes opened but my brain was still wresting itself out of its sleep fuddled state, I was warm and comfortable and floating on the remnants of
my dream. There was a hand, definitely a hand splayed across my belly rubbing small circles as it made its way slowly up my body, I heard a soft
moan, was it mine?
Edward. Becoming more lucid now I was aware of him, his hand on my body, his heat all around me and his lips sweeping across the base of
my neck. I shifted and he pressed himself against me, I bent my head backwards, turning, his lips met mine and I moaned around his tongue.
He turned my whole body so I was lying on my back as he loomed over me, kissing my mouth, my eyelids, my cheeks, my neck and all the while
his hands roamed freely under my shirt. Clothes! He's wearing too many clothes. I hooked my fingers beneath the hem of his shirt and pulled, his
hands left mine then the shirt was gone and, in a blur, mine too.
His chest crushed against mine as I gasped through his hungry kisses. I wedged my hands between us pushing him upwards and fumbled with
the buttons of his jeans, I unfastened them and then his mouth closed over my nipple and I lost all purpose. He sucked me into his mouth and the
soft slurping noises sounded so erotic in the quiet night and I spread my legs for him as his right hand wandered down stealing beneath my
waistband.
His finger probed my folds and circled my clit and my back arched as he sucked harder on my other nipple. Jolted back to life I slid my fingers
beneath his jeans and pulled them down, my breast popped out of his mouth and he gasped as I tugged them down farther. He moved around
freeing himself from the denim and my hand smoothed up his hard thigh and I moaned when I realised he was completely naked.
Obviously wanting me in the same state he pulled my pyjama bottoms off and then his mouth and hands were on me again. I writhed beneath him
enjoying the twin sensations and then I wanted nothing more than to touch him, to make him feel the way he was making me feel. My hand snaked
down between us again, I shifted my hip out of the way and I could feel the heat rolling off him as I finally put my hand on him.
He bit down on my nipple and a soft yelp escaped me before he licked it softly and then peppered my neck with tiny kisses as he whispered his
apology. I curled my fingers around him and he pushed his hips towards me groaning. His tight skin was silky soft and warm but he was hard as iron
beneath it, I'd never felt anything like it. I squeezed again and was rewarded with a rasping groan, he might have said my name but his voice was
too thick to tell.
I slid my hand down to the base and back up again, he was long and thick and I almost lost my nerve until I felt his hand curl around mine. He
squeezed tight and stroked my hand up and down his length, his heartbeat was slamming in my ear and then his mouth was there and he was
whispering.
'God that feels good, Bella.'
Encouraged I kept going as his hand left mine and then I hummed in ecstasy as his fingers worked between my legs. Remembering the book I
swirled my thumb around the tip of his penis and sure enough found moisture there, I spread it around then pumped with my fist again.
'Fuck Bella!' he groaned into my ear and the expletive excited me.
His fingers were circling me and I was grinding myself against his hand.
'You like that?' He hissed.
'Oh, yes, don't stop!' My voice was barely a whisper.
'You like touching my cock?'
I moaned.
'Tell me,' he ordered, his lips were right next to my ear. 'Tell me you like touching my cock.'
Oh God! 'I like it!' I knew what he wanted and despite myself it turned me on so much 'I like touching your cock.'
He hissed in pleasure and rubbed me harder as I squeezed tighter. 'Do you like my fingers on your pussy?'
I whimpered and nodded.
'I want to put one in you, Bella.' His tongue circled the shell of my ear 'Do you want me to?'
I opened my legs wider in invitation, unable to form the words, his middle finger circled my entrance and then slipped inside. It felt thick in the
tight space as he slid deeper and curled it slightly eliciting another whimper from me.
'Does it feel good?' He murmured as his thumb pressed against my clit.
'Yes, but I want you to feel good.' I ground out, working him harder.
'Oh, I do, Bella, believe me,' He sighed as I swirled my thumb roughly across his tip 'I do!'
He removed his hand from me and wrapped it around mine again helping me press tighter and stroke faster, I did as he showed me and his
hand slid up my body cupping my breast tightly.
He buried his face in my neck and panted my name over and over, his teeth were nibbling my neck. Suddenly his hand snaked around behind
me and he flipped us so he was lying on his back and I was looming over him, he pulled my face down and kissed me deeply.
I broke the kiss but he kept his hand where it was anchoring me to the crook of his neck and then he was gasping 'I'm coming!' His hips bucked
and I felt his penis pulsing in my hand but I kept going until his hips finally stilled and lowered back to the mattress.
 I swirled my thumb around the tip and it was wet and warm and his hips jerked, I removed my hand and lay it on his belly directly into a pool of
warm stickiness. I immediately removed it embarrassed.
'Sorry!' I muttered.
He gripped my wrist 'It's okay,' I'd never heard that timbre in his voice before, it was husky, relaxed, satisfied. He stretched his arm towards my
nightstand, knocked the lamp over and then I heard the rustle as he pulled tissues out of the box.
He wiped my hand first before cleaning his abs and then bunched the used tissues up and looked at me 'I need to get rid of these.'
I moved to let him climb out of bed and in the scant light that the moon offered I caught a glimpse of his unbelievably sexy behind. I flopped back
onto the bed and groaned. I heard him pick the lamp up and then the bed dipped as he climbed over me and settled back in beside me.
I turned to face him expecting to snuggle in but his arm clamped around me and pulled my body flush with his, God, he feels good! His mouth
descended on mine with vigour as his tongue plunged into my mouth and his hands slid over my heated skin. I felt his fingers slide between my legs
and I moaned at the sweet sensation as they fluttered teasingly over my naked skin.
His lips left mine and travelled down my body, his mouth licking and sucking as he went , Oh, he's going to put his mouth on me again! My
insides clenched at the realisation and my heart started bouncing in my chest as his teeth grazed my hip and he parted my legs wide so he could
settle between them.
He removed his fingers and did what he did before; slid his hands underneath and tilted my body up to meet his mouth. I shuddered as he slid
his tongue languorously over my lips and inhaled deeply. I looked down at him but with the light from the window behind him I couldn't see the
features of his face, just the silhouette of it, but by the tilt of his head I guessed he was looking up at me.
He spread me with his fingers and clamped his mouth on me, my head fell back with a loud moan and then I felt one long finger probe inside me,
I stiffened a little at the unexpected ministration.
'Is this okay?' He whispered.
'Yes!' I managed to croak out and his mouth went back to work as he slid his finger in and out of my body.
It didn't take long before my orgasm was crashing over me and I was shouting his name into the dark room. 'Oh Edward!' I yelled as he expertly
worked me through it Oh, I love you!
My eyes flew open at first I was unsure if I'd shouted those last words aloud in my euphoric state, but Edward was busy dusting my inner thighs
with sweet kisses and I relaxed sure of the fact that I hadn't. He placed a final sweet kiss on my lower belly before finally moving up the bed and
wrapping me in his strong embrace.
My breathing was still shuddery and laboured as he pressed his lips into my hair and murmured words that I couldn't fully hear. 'Hmmm?'
'Do you want me to stay?' He repeated.
'Of course.' I answered snuggling closer as he pulled the covers over us. Why wouldn't I?
I fell asleep my naked body wrapped around his and I had never felt closer to another human being in my entire life. As sleep claimed me my last
thought was that I wished I could have this every night, that I would never have to sleep without him again.
Morning light arrowed into my room through a gap in the curtains directly into my face, dragging me out of my pleasant dream. I heard him shift
beside me and turned to watch him sleep, but he was awake and sitting up and leafing through my book. I swallowed as his eyes met mine.
'This is what you're reading these days?' He was frowning.
'Um... yes.' I said hesitantly worried by his frown.
'This isn't you!' He said displeased throwing it on the nightstand.
'You disapprove?' I asked sitting up and pulling the sheet up around me.
He gently rubbed my cheek with the back of his fingers 'Where did you get it?'
He was suspicious but I couldn't think why, I didn't understand why this seemed to displease him. 'I...um bought it at a bookstore across town.'
'Were you alone, when you happened upon this book store?' Unusually verbose, his words sounded sarcastic.
I nodded unable to vocalise the lie.
'Bella, you don't...' He sighed and rubbed his hand over his face 'It doesn't matter, it's really nothing to do with me.'
I opened my mouth to speak but he pressed his finger to my lips and then replaced it with his. He kissed me gently 'I have to get out of bed, do
you want me to close my eyes when I pull the covers off us?'
Suddenly his tone was lighter and I shook my head 'I want to see you.' I blurted out.
 He blew out a short breath and then rubbed his thumb across my cheek as he slowly dragged the sheet down. Cool air washed over my own skin
and my nipples pebbled, he held my eyes with his gaze until eventually the draw was too much and my eyes lowered.
I gasped 'It looks smaller than I thought!'
He burst out laughing and I looked up confused 'Bella, you really don't have a filter in that brain of yours at all do you? That's not what a man likes
to hear.'
My hands flew to my mouth 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you!'
He grabbed my hand and at the same time pressed his lips to my ear 'Touch me.' He growled lightly and placed my hand on him.
He was soft and silky but as soon as my fingers curled around his flaccid form I felt him begin to twitch and grow in my hand. His skin heated as it
stretched and swelled in my grip.
'Now look!' He ordered a few moments later.
I complied 'Oh!' I uttered 'It's...um... huge!'
He chuckled 'That's better.' Then he groaned 'I shouldn't have started this, I really do have to go, I have early classes.'
I moved my hand away and then blushed when I caught his eyes wandering all over my body, he looked at me and smiled crookedly. 'Rain
check?'
I nodded as he and his impressive erection got out of my bed.
I picked up the book after he'd gone and turned it over in my hand, his reaction to it perplexed me and I opened my drawer and placed it inside.
a/n Oh WOW! I almost posted chapter 24 by mistake here! Thank God I noticed at the last moment, I've had a stressful day so if
there are any mistakes her please let me know.
On to this chapter! Woo hoo Bella finally gave back!
Also Bella now has a new friend to confide in and she's going to need that soon, how did the Bella/Jacob stuff feel? He's no threat
here at all so don't worry about that. I know it's a minor plot thread but what do you think should happen with Jacob and leah? More
pressing though, why is Edward always scrambling away from Bella in the morning, is he really that desperate to get to class and
what about his reaction to the book?
I hope to update mid week. Mr Mojo Rising (A tiny Doors reference to anyone who gets it! I couldn't resist lol)
Chapter 24
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Okay so we agreed on a mid-week update... right? You know I'm a liar! I can't help myself. Mr Mojo Rising did me proud! Plus I have
a bank holiday tomorrow so that just means a whole seven hours writing when the kids are at school, it's ALL good!
I LOVE all my regular reviewers, I can't write without you. I now have over 200 alerts and that doesn't include favourites!
I desperately joined twitter, because it seems like people on twitter get hundreds of reviews per chapter, but when I was in the
process of 'tweeting' I thought 'I don't have a clue' I actually tweeted that! I am following one awesome writer and it figures that no
one is following me. Someone already took the name Bella Scotia but even so, I've come to realise, I'm happy with my following. So
BellaScotia1 has tweeted once and realised it's POINTLESS. I am satisfied with what I've got, maybe I don't need to practice on
bananas, I should be reaching the climax with what I get.
I love Inge-80, Bouffant, Lethar88, HenriettaVampires, I love rob always, Vampylicious,diehardtwilightfan, likelurking,
Betonanalice2, Bunch2009, Mrs Edward B Cullen, Mary, Oh god the list goes on maybe I shouldn't do this. I love you all but I can't do
you all justice.
What I'm trying to say is that there are some new reviewers out there and since I have so many alerts and favourites I would just
like to hear from you too, an example is Emily93 who challenged me about my update schedule.
Och, I'm sorry for the big drawn out A/N but sometimes I feel like I am the only writer who has it this bad.
Right this chapter I AM excited about, Bella has something to tell Jasper, he knows his place...right?
And when she desperately needs a friend to lean on, we all know the right person for the job...right?
'The dress looks wonderful Alice!' I said gazing in her mirror, there were still a few alterations to be done but I couldn't believe that she'd done
such a great job in so short a time.
She beamed at me proudly 'It does, even if I do say so myself. Did you get shoes?' I nodded 'With a two inch heel?' Again I nodded and pointed
to the box I'd left on her bed.
She took the shoes out 'Oh Bella, they're perfect, I thought you said you didn't have any taste?'
I blushed 'I gave the sales lady the swatch of fabric and that's what she came back with.'
'Okay, take the dress off.' She ordered putting the shoes back in the box 'I'll get it finished tomorrow night, tonight I've got this function for work
that I can't get out of.'
She helped me unzip the dress and I stepped out of it, this time I didn't blush when she openly stared at my underwear chewing her lip 'Maybe we
should think about getting you some nice underwear.' She mused and it almost felt as if she was talking to herself and not me.
'Why?' I looked down at my white lace bra and panties.
'It would just be a shame not to have something equally beautiful on under that dress.' She grinned 'You know in case you get lucky!'
'Actually,' I said and it was my turn to bite my lip only for me it was in embarrassment 'I wanted to talk to you about something.'
'Do you need to get dressed first?' She smiled and I loved her for it, she was just so understanding.
But I grabbed the bull by the horns and just launched straight into my problem 'Remember we were talking about the books the other day?' She
nodded at me and helped me step down from the little stool she'd had me standing on 'Well, I did some reading that night and I did..' I took a deep
breath and felt the shame wash over me 'maybe I shouldn't tell you, infact.. I..um.. I don't know if I can even say it out loud.'
'What's happened?' She looked mildly alarmed and sat me down on the bed keeping hold of my hand 'You're worrying me.'
'Alice, I'm just so... ashamed!' I could feel tears pricking my eyes and I fought desperately to hold them back.
She gripped my shoulders 'Bella, if something bad has happened to you, you have to trust me and tell me.'

'N-n-no, nothing bad happened to me, it was my fault, it was me that did it...I..' The tears spilled 'It's so wrong, it's dirty!'
She seemed to relax slightly and brushed my hair away from my face and suddenly her face was directly in front of mine and her eyes bored into
mine 'Bella, what could you possibly have done that has upset you so much.'
I really wanted to tell her, I'd virtually ignored it since it had happened but it was still there, lurking in the back of my mind, making me feel bad and
bringing back memories I had long forgotten.
'Bella?'
 My vision cleared and my mother's face disappeared and morphed back into Alice's, whose eyes were so kind and encouraging.

'I touched,' I shook my head 'no I didn't just touch, I masturbated.'

Her shoulders sagged and she pulled me into her arms, I could feel her relief even though I couldn't yet understand it. 'Jesus Bella! You had me
worried there.' She gripped my upper arms and pulled back staring into my face 'It's okay, I promise you, it's okay, why are you so embarrassed.. no
ashamed?'
'Because it's a sinful wicked act!' I said parroting words I'd heard from my mother even though at the time I was too young to fully understand her
meaning. It wasn't until I was at high school in Forks, a particularly horrific conversation had occurred between Mike and Tyler in my presence that
made me fully understand what she'd been ranting about.
To this day I still don't know who the perpetrator was but when it had been debated on the commune it was clear someone was guilty and we
were all lectured accordingly.

'Bella, how can self pleasure be so bad when other...um ... acts aren't?' Her voice was gentle and I knew she was trying to understand without
forming judgement.
'They are borne out of love, but doing that is just selfish and weak, giving in to our carnal side.'
She sat upright 'I'm sorry Bella but that's the biggest croc I've ever heard, you don't believe that do you? You can't? It's a natural thing, it's self
expression, it's about being at one with your own body,' she paused 'God gave you the ability to do that if you want to look at it that way.'
That made me smile 'I guess I am sounding like the worst kind of bible thumper, but I just felt so ashamed.'
'Bella you've been carrying a lot of baggage around unwittingly for so long, I understand why you're having a difficult time with this. I wouldn't have
suggested the books if I thought you weren't capable of expressing yourself sexually, but I know you are, I've seen the desire in your eyes and you
have to let go of the past. What you did wasn't dirty, it was you being brave and in control of your own body and mind.' She clasped my face in her
hands 'You have no idea how much I admire you, Bella, you are the bravest, sweetest, kindest most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure of
meeting. Don't stop now, you're only at the beginning.'
Tears slid down my cheeks 'You really think it's not dirty?'
She smiled 'Bella, most people do it, though it is probably the least talked about of all the sexual acts.'
I stared at her.
'Yes, I do it, Jasper does it,' she wiped my tears away 'at the risk of repeating myself it's natural, there's certainly nothing wrong with doing it.'

'It feels okay when Edward and I are together, but that just felt like a bridge too far.'
'Listen, you've come such a long way, you are a strong person Bella, this really isn't a big deal, I don't wish to belittle how you're feeling, but it's
the truth. You are a grown woman who knows what she wants from life and knows how to get it, this is just an extension of that.'
Her words started to make sense and I began to relax a little 'So!' I sighed steeling myself 'I need to get some nice underwear?'
She grinned and I could see pride shining in her eyes 'Exactly! In case you get lucky!'
'In case who get's lucky?'
I yelped throwing my arms across my body as Jasper stepped into the room.
'Shit!' He hissed hurrying back out again averting his eyes 'I didn't know you were..um... I'm sorry Bella!'
'Jasper!' Alice scolded at the same time.
I quickly dressed and then left Alice in the bedroom getting ready for her night out.
Jasper was draped across the couch he jumped up when I came downstairs 'I'm really sorry Bella!'
I waived my hand dismissively 'Its okay, you weren't to know,' I looked at his red face and, oddly, it comforted me to know that I wasn't the only
one who got embarrassed 'It's not like you saw anything!'
However, there was still a tension between us that had never been there before and I wondered if it was because on some level he knew I was
keeping a secret from him. I had to tell him about Edward and I needed to do it before the wedding which was this weekend.
I suddenly came up with an idea 'What are you up to tonight?' I asked.
His eyes lit up 'Nothing, why? Do you fancy doing something?'
'Yeah, I'd like to take you out to dinner!' I smiled.
'Throw in a movie and you're on!' He grinned.
 He dashed upstairs to get changed and I sat on the sofa waiting. Edward had spent the last few days cramming for his final exam tomorrow, he
was extremely stressed about it and I thought it best to stay out of his way as much as possible. He didn't need the distraction. Tonight of all nights
he needed an empty apartment to study.
There was a concert playing nearby so most of the places we wanted to go to were full, we eventually settled on a small Indian restaurant that
was thankfully pretty quiet. I ordered a red wine and Jasper ordered a beer before we were shown to our table.
'I've missed this.' He grinned as we sat down.
'Me too.' I smiled sipping my wine.
'So are you looking forward to the wedding?' He asked, his eyes roaming the menu.
'Yeah, I am! I'm so glad Charlie has found someone he can be happy with you know?' He nodded 'I hated the thought of him sitting in front of that
flat screen eating a TV dinner every night.'
'I had dinner with my dad last week.' Jasper frowned. 'He's...um.. not coping too well, he seemed really down,' he shrugged 'of course, he'd never
admit to it but...'
I covered his hand 'But you're really worried about him.'
'I guess I am.' He admitted. 'I know I acted like a jerk before when I thought he didn't care, but I get it now.'
'Well, that's good, the two of you will get through this together, just be there for him, he'll let you in eventually.'
We ordered our food and talked about college and Alice and took a short trip down memory lane. When our deserts were laid in front of us my
mood sobered and I wasn't surprised when he noticed instantly.
'What's up?' He asked scooping a huge piece of pie into his mouth.
'I am taking a date to Charlie's wedding.' My words rushed out and I looked down at my plate.
'Really?' he sounded surprised 'Jacob?'
'No, I told you that didn't work out.' He made no effort to say anything else he just sat there waiting for me to tell him and I wondered if Alice was
right and he did suspect 'I've asked Edward to come with me.'
He stared at me for a while and then laid his fork down and rubbed a hand over his face, I swallowed my own growing anger at the knowledge he
was trying to remain calm.
'Is it a real date?' He asked slowly.
'Yes.' I said through gritted teeth, he sucked in a sharp intake of breath 'Maybe we should get the bill and discuss this somewhere else.' I
suggested waiving at the waitress.
I asked for the bill and ignored Jasper as he shrugged violently into his jacket and dropped some bills on the table and strode out. The waitress
brought the bill and I realised Jasper had left enough to cover it and more. I gave it all to the waitress and hurried outside.
He started walking as soon as I stepped off the doorstep, my heels clattered on the sidewalk as I hurried alongside him.
'Okay!' I shouted a little louder than I'd anticipated 'Let's hear it!'
'Hear what?' He said not slowing or turning just walking and fast 'You're stupidly falling for the biggest player in town, what is there to say?'
I heard the judgemental disappointed tone in his voice and my anger exploded 'Fuck you, Jazz!' I yelled and stopped fully intending to find a cab
and go home. I turned to leave him there.
His hand gripped my arm and spun me round 'Does he like that filthy mouth? Look at you! You're turning into one of those foul mouthed sluts he
likes to fuck so much!'
Without conscious thought my hand shot out and struck his face so hard it hurt me. We stood there staring at each other, our breathing ragged,
my hand stinging and his cheek red from the slap I'd given him.
'I thought I owed it to you to tell you in person, after the talk we had, I thought we were past all this.' I said my anger quelling slightly 'But don't you
go all Charlie on me, I don't have to answer to you Jazz, you have no say in this!'
His eyes narrowed 'Are you fucking him?'
I felt like slapping him again, I wrenched my arm out of his grip and started to walk 'You're not even listening to me!' I cried as I heard his
footsteps close behind me.
He was alongside me now glaring 'The guy's a creep Bella, I mean, I had my doubts about him before he moved in but Alice convinced me it
would be okay.' He ruffled his fingers through his hair 'I shouldn't have listened to her, he'll use you and when he gets bored, he'll be back to trawling
the bars and fucking women in the restrooms and at the goddamn back of the building, like the dog he is!'
I couldn't stop the loud gasp that escaped my lips.
'That's right,' Jasper sneered 'that's his M.O. I've heard the stories now, how he'll turn up in bars and take the first girl that throws herself at him.
Half the time he doesn't even take them home, he'll fuck them anywhere!'
'Why are you telling me this?' I screamed and a couple walking their dog across the street stopped and looked over at us curiously. I turned my
back to them but it meant I was facing Jasper fully 'Why are you doing this?' My voice cracked.
He gripped my shoulders 'Because you're better than that Bella, you deserve someone who'll love you and respect you and treat you right, not
someone like him.'
'You don't know him like I do,' I huffed sagging down onto a low wall, he sat beside me 'like Alice does. He works hard, he studies, he has
dreams.' I turned to face him and studied his grim profile 'He does treat me with respect, he never does anything I don't want him to.'
His breath hitched 'So you are sleeping with him?'
'Is that all you care about?' I hissed 'Okay, since you're so interested, yes, I've slept naked in his arms, he's touched me, he's put his mouth on
me, he's made me come, he's...'
'For fuck's sake Bella!' He growled 'Stop! For once in your life don't be so bloody honest!'
'You asked!' I countered 'and I wasn't finished. I haven't had sex with him yet,' he turned and looked at me 'But I will, I want to make love with him
and I don't care what he's done before, because it all happened before he met me. It's done, it's gone!' I dragged my fingers through my hair 'I don't
want anybody judging me on my past, thinking I'm a freak, I want to be judged for who I am and what I do now and Edward deserves the same.'
His eyes were filled with disdain and that hurt more than his anger 'You're just so naive. I know you Bella, this is not who you are, you can't just do
a 180 and turn into someone completely different overnight!'
I stood up and faced him, he was still sitting and I gripped his shoulders until he looked up at me 'I'm not that naive little girl you grew up with, so
stop trying to fit me into that box and yes I have changed but maybe this is who I was all along, I just needed to grow up and let her out. I'm a
passionate woman Jasper, I love Edward and I believe in him,' my lips trembled 'and I need him more than I need you.'
I released my grip and started to walk away I saw a cab and started to run waving for it to stop, thankfully it did and when I touched the handle he
was right behind me. 'Go home to Alice!' I ordered and got in and barked my address at the driver.
I didn't turn to look at him as the cab drove away, I wouldn't have been able to see him through my tears anyway.
I paid the driver and stood on the kerb outside our apartment, it wasn't even ten o'clock and I didn't want Edward to see me in this state. Not
tonight, he had to concentrate on his exams tomorrow and I couldn't in all conscience go in there and distract him from that.
I pulled my coat around me and wondered what to do, I'd just lost my best friend, I couldn't talk to Alice about it there was only one other person I
could talk to, I pulled my phone out of my pocket and dialled Jacobs number.
Within a half hour he pulled up in a red Volkswagen Rabbit and I got in.
'Thanks.' I said, embarrassed now that I had calmed down.
'You okay?' He asked pulling away from the kerb 'You look like shit!'
This made me smile 'I didn't have anyone else to call, you don't mind?'
He glanced at me briefly before his eyes went back to the road 'I can't say I'm not surprised, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm happy to
listen.'
He told me we had to go to his house so he could get his dad sorted, I didn't really care where we went I just knew I couldn't go home yet and
even though I didn't really want to talk I just needed Jacob's company.
His house was a modest little bungalow on the outskirts of town, it took us thirty minutes to get there and I realised he must have got straight in
his car to come get me as soon as I had called. I followed him up the ramp and into the house.
The living room was small and cosy and had a lot of wood panelling on the walls, his dad was watching TV and his eyes widened in surprise
when he turned and saw me. I forced a smile.
'Dad, this is a friend of mine Bella.' Jacob said 'She...um.. she just popped by for a coffee.'
'I hope you don't mind Mr Black.' I said quietly, suddenly regretting calling Jacob.
He grinned and it was the same wide blinding white smile that Jacob possessed 'It's a pleasure to meet you Bella, and call me Billy, Mr Black
makes me sound old.'
I smiled and shook his hand. He glanced at Jacob and then back to me 'Well, if you don't mind Bella, I'll just get Jacob to give me a little help and
then he's all yours.'
Jacob and I both blushed at his insinuation and he chuckled as he handed me the television remote 'Jacob won't be long, make yourself at
home.'
I sat down in the strange living room and flicked off the television, I wasn't really in the mood. My mind wandered back to Jasper and my stomach
clenched, why was he being like this? I'd never been so angry with him and I'd never seen him so angry with me.
It broke my heart that I was losing him but I'd meant what I said, I truly needed Edward more. Jasper was happy with Alice, why couldn't he let me
be happy with the person I'd chosen, what gave him the right to think that he knew better than I did what's right for me?
'So do you wanna talk about it?'
I started at the sound of Jacob's voice 'I had a fight with Jasper tonight but I don't really want to get into it,' I looked at him apologetically 'I just
didn't want to go home in that state, Edward has an important Exam tomorrow.'
Jacob sat down on the sofa opposite me 'Was the fight about Edward?'
I nodded and snorted at the same time 'You know how Jasper is, he told me some pretty horrible stuff about Edward,' I shook my head 'I really
wish he hadn't.' I looked at Jacob 'Was he really bad with women?'
Jacob sighed 'Edward's my friend, I'm really not comfortable,' he paused and sighed 'I'm sorry.'
'I love him Jacob and I believe in him, I just need to know that I'm not reading him wrong.'
Jacob leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs 'When I first met him, he was a real party animal, he was always loaded,' he looked at me
'and I mean loaded! And yeah, he had all the girls falling all over themselves to get him. If I'm being honest, I didn't like the way he treated them but
most of them were only out looking for what he was giving them so I guess it was win win.'
'But there was one night, Emmett threw one of his legendary parties and Edward and I were doing the open mike thing, you know at the bar?' I
nodded for him to continue 'Well, he was fine when we got back to Emmett's place but within an hour he was really wasted, I've never seen him that
bad, I was kinda worried, I don't know if someone spiked his drink or something. Anyway, I put him to bed but didn't want to leave him in case he
choked or something so I slept on his floor.'
He stood up clearly uncomfortable 'Do you want a coffee or something?'
'I wouldn't mind a glass of water.'
He pulled two bottles out of the fridge and handed me one and then sat back down. 'He talked in his sleep, well moaned and cried. I won't tell you
what he said but in the morning he talked about it, surprised the hell out of me, I thought he'd get all pissed at me for babying him like that. But he
talked about the shit he went through with his mom... look, Bella, this really isn't my story to tell. I feel like I'm going behind his back here.'
'I understand,' I said sadly 'So you think he has issues with women because of his mom?'
'You don't give up do you?' He shook his head 'No I think he has issues with women because he has absolutely no sense of self worth, and that
probably comes from his mom, or it could be because he never felt worthy of Dr Cullen and his family I don't know. But for a while the more people
trashed him, the more he gave them reason to. But after that night he changed, that chick Lauren was the only girl he went near and that was only
because Emmett twisted his arm.'
He drained his water 'So to answer your question, no I don't think you're reading him wrong. Edward's one of the good guys, he just needs
someone like you to bring it out.'
I blushed.
'He's one lucky guy,' Jacob mused sitting back in the chair 'I just hope he doesn't fuck it up. But if he does, don't you go blaming yourself.'
The last part worried me but everything else he'd said revived my belief that I could do this with Edward, we could do this.
I felt guilty for putting Jacob on the spot like this 'I'm sorry for bugging you like this.'
'No, it's cool, I just don't want Edward to think I'm...'
'I know,' I said 'but you're being a good friend to him doing this.'
'Yeah, well since that night, I haven't had much of a chance to be his friend at all.'
'Why?' I asked.
'He withdrew, I think he hates that he opened up to me that day,' He snorted without mirth 'I tend to have that effect on people, it must be an aura I
have or something,' he tried to smile but it was weak 'people are always spilling their guts to me and it usually turns out to be a good thing but
Edward, well, he's still cool but he's too cool with me if you know what I mean?'
'God, I'm sorry Jacob, I shouldn't have come here and laid this all on you, that wasn't fair of me,' he dismissed my words with a wave of his hand
and a shake of his head 'Have you seen Leah since the hospital?' I asked changing tack.
He nodded 'She came by yesterday,' he smiled softly 'she was all jealous about you, she wanted to know if we were dating.'
'What did you tell her?'
He shrugged 'The truth. That I can't think of anyone but her. Even though I shouldn't.'
'I wish I could help you, the way you've helped me.' I said feeling heart sorry for him. He didn't say anything. 'Tell me about her.' I said settling back
in my chair.
'What?' he looked confused.
'Tell me your story,' I elaborated 'tell me how you managed to fall in love with your cousin's wife.' He grimaced 'Oops, I didn't mean to make it
sound like that.' I blushed.
He laughed and then told me his story and I listened, marvelling at the way his face lit up and his eyes shone as he spoke of tiny details about her
that nobody else probably notices. It was clear she loved him too but her strong sense of duty was preventing her from leaving Paul. Jacob
disagreed with me when I pointed out that there would be more of a chance of her leaving now that he could fend for himself.
He made some grilled cheese sandwiches which we devoured and then it was gone one by the time he walked me to my door. The apartment
was in complete darkness and I went straight to bed and refused to think about Jasper.
a/n Shit! Jasper just totally fucked up and broke my heart! I know I wrote this but even I didn't expect him to be such an ass! What
happens now?
Poor Jacob, he really deserves some light relief! It's gonna be alright, how hard can it be? Oh shit!
As for Bella, while it's nice that she's letting all these nice new friends in, should she not let the guy who seems to be avoiding her
in? No WTF is up with him?
Chapter 25
I staggered out of bed after a horrible sleepless night at the sound of the phone ringing, I stubbed my toe en route and hissed in anger as I
barked a rude greeting into the receiver.
'Bella?'
Of course it would be Alice who would be calling this early, I braced myself for the onslaught.
'Are you okay?'
'Yes.' I answered confused by her genuine concern.
'Good,' she sighed 'I'm just calling to let you know the dress is ready, when do you want to pick it up?'
Oh God, I can't go to their house!
Evidently Jasper hadn't told her anything about our argument, this was Alice in her pure and simple form, for her nothing had changed. I found
myself stammering as my brain struggled to form a coherent sentence.
'Um... could you.. uh.. would it be okay.. can Edward collect it on Friday?' I finally managed.
'Are you feeling alright, you sound a little flustered?'
'I'm okay, I just woke up.' I hated lying to her, that's all, I just hated it!
'Well, sure, if you send Edward round on Friday I'll have it packed up for you, but I was really hoping to see the final effect before the wedding.'
I hated disappointing her 'Um well maybe you could bring it here instead.'
'But if you're going to be home then why can't you come here?'

Damn!
'I won't be in till late, but I could come over after eleven if that's okay.' Please say it's not, please!
'Jasper and I will be out on Friday night,' she sighed 'it's okay, just ask Edward to come in the afternoon, and listen, if there is anything at all
wrong with the dress, call me first thing Saturday morning. I won't have you walking up that aisle with an ill fitting dress.'
'Alice, it was perfect the last time I tried it on and you were only finishing the details.' I sighed, guilt was roiling inside me, I knew she was going to
hate me soon, maybe even hate Jasper too and even talking on the phone to her was difficult now.
'Oh! I almost forgot, do you want to go underwear shopping?'

I would love to go underwear shopping with you!

I stifled a groan 'I was just going to pick something up during my lunch break, I don't have a lot of time.'
'Okay,' she said with a horrible guilt inducing tinge of disappointment 'I guess I'll see you on Saturday then.'
'I'll see you then.' I agreed and then said goodbye and hung up.
I sat on the sofa and not for the first time since my fight with Jasper I started to cry. He had ruined everything, I was hardly sure of anything
anymore, did he have feelings for me that were romantic? Hadn't he loved Alice as much as I thought? The one thing I had no doubt about was that
his reaction to me being with Edward was a jealous one and where did that leave Alice? She would be so hurt.
I lay wallowing for too long and by the time I pulled myself together it was after 9. I took a shower and thought about how Edward would be faring
in his exam, I hadn't prayed in years but I said a silent prayer for him that he would get through it okay. He had been so tense when I'd come out of
my room to wish him luck as he was leaving.
I skipped College for the day and did some grocery shopping and then went to a big department store and browsed the lingerie section. They
had some really beautiful underwear and it took longer than I thought to finally decide on a bra and panties set that I thought might look nice on me.
Because of the dress the bra had to be strapless and looking at it I wondered how the heck it stayed up. It was a midnight blue colour and the
cups were made of fine lace, I held it up and squinted at it, it definitely wouldn't hide much but I guess that's the point. The thong panties were the
same and as I brushed my fingers over the material I felt a little spark at the thought of Edward seeing me in them.
I was hit with the image of him helping me out of my dress and my insides clenched at the thought of his eyes roaming my body and ... I tried to
wrench my mind away from that thought, I was standing in the middle of a department store for heaven's sake. Even after I paid for the underwear
and started heading home, my mind kept wandering back to Edward and Saturday night.
When I got home I put the groceries away and cleaned the apartment from top to bottom, all the time alternating between worrying about
Edward's exam and fantasising about Saturday night. The more I thought about it the more I wanted it to be special, Charlie and Sue were heading
off to their honeymoon straight from the reception. I still had my key and it would make sense for Edward and I to stay at Charlie's and drive home
on Sunday.
The thought of Edward spending the night with me in my bed in Forks excited me beyond reason and I came to the conclusion that it would be
the perfect place for us to make love for the first time. I felt the familiar throb strike up between my legs and I bit my lip, I wanted him so much and I
was pretty sure I was ready.
It was almost six when Edward finally burst through the door, a little tipsy and wearing the widest grin I'd ever seen on him. He slammed the door
and strode towards me brandishing a bottle of champagne, which he slammed down on the table before scooping me up into his arms and twirling
us round.
'The exams are over!' He yelled dramatically.
'I take it you did well?' I squealed in delight as he buried his face in my neck and squeezed me tight.
My body slowly slid down his as he set me down but he didn't let go 'I think so,' he smiled 'I'm just so fucking glad it's over, you have no idea what
a relief it is.'
I was so pleased for him, I cupped his face and pulled it down to mine, his kiss was hard and eager and he tasted faintly of beer.
'That's good,' He groaned 'I've wanted to do that ALL day but I had to go out with the guys for a little celebration this afternoon,' he explained 'it's
tradition!'
'You don't have to explain to me,' I smiled 'I'm just so happy that you're done.'
He turned to the champagne bottle and started peeling off the foil 'I know this is a little over the top but I just thought we should have a little
celebration of our own.'
I practically skipped to the kitchen to get glasses, Edward followed me with the bottle and when I reached up to take the glasses down he was
right behind me reaching up to do it for me. I turned loving the warmth of his body against mine. He looked down at me and awareness sparked in
his eyes.
I ran my hands up his body and splayed my fingers across his chest, he practically growled at me and then lifted me up onto the counter. I parted
my legs and he settled between them pressing his burgeoning erection right on my centre. I was vaguely aware of the glasses hitting the counter,
one of them might have smashed but I was too focused on Edward as his head dipped and his tongue slid wonderfully into my mouth.
I was hungry for more and gripped his hips pulling him closer still and moaned when he ground himself against me. His hands were everywhere;
in my hair, on my breasts, pulling at my hips, he moved so fast I felt like I was making out with an octopus. His mouth left mine and found my neck,
he sucked gently and his breathing was ragged.
'Bella!' He groaned as his hips pressed tighter 'You get me so hard!'
Somehow I managed to slide my hand between us and I cupped him before my other hand started working on his buttons, his hands gripped the
edge of the counter on either side of my hips. He lifted his head and our eyes met and all at once the atmosphere changed. Though they were
burning with desire there was a tenderness in his eyes that brought a lump to my throat, I wanted to please this gorgeous man, I wanted to show him
how much I loved him.
'I want to make you come.' I whispered.
His eyes rolled closed and a tiny muscle worked in his jaw 'Not here.' He rasped and wrapped my legs around his waist before lifting me off the
counter and carrying me to his bedroom. I peppered his face with kisses and licks and he grinned at me as he kicked the door open and lay me
gently on the bed.
I sat up and grabbed his jeans again, for a brief second his fingers fisted in my hair and then he let go and watched as I undid the fastenings and
began to pull the heavy material down his hips.
The sound of the phone made us both groan.
Edward turned to go answer it, 'Leave it.' I whispered but he grinned at me and cupped my cheek.
'So desperate.' He teased lightly 'We have all night.'
I flopped back onto the bed when he left the room and silently cursed whoever it was that had picked this precise moment to phone. Edward
answered it and I heard his muffled voice, though I couldn't make out the words, as he spoke for a few moments.
'It's Jacob,' he yelled, eventually 'he wants you!'
I groaned and got up Edward handed me the phone and I glanced down at his still open jeans before he turned his back and headed into the
kitchen.
'Hello?' I said into the receiver.
'Hey, Bella,' Jacob answered 'You okay?'
 I realised my greeting might have been a little harsh 'Yeah, sorry, I'm fine, I was just a little busy there.'
'Sorry, I called earlier but there was no answer,' I felt bad, Jacob had been so nice to me last night and here I was irritated by him for interrupting
me 'I just wanted to check if you were okay, you know, after last night, have you talked to Jasper today?'
'No, I don't think I'll hear from him anytime soon,' I said quietly feeling a tiny pang of pain again 'I'm fine though, I'm not going to beat myself up
about it.'
'That's good to hear, well look, I won't keep you if you're busy, I just wanted to make sure you were okay.'
'You're so sweet.' I said impulsively and he chuckled down the line 'Thanks for last night it was really good of you.'
'You owe me one.' He said still chuckling. 'Maybe one day you could return the favour.'
'I'd love that, you can call me anytime.' I smiled. 'I need to go, I'll talk to you soon.'
'Never mind talking, you need to bring that truck over!'
I laughed 'Okay, I will, I promise, I'll call you next week, now goodbye!'
I hung up and went to find Edward in the kitchen, he was arranging broken glass on the counter into a small stack and I noticed his jeans were re-
fastened. I pouted.
'You were with Jacob last night?' He asked not looking at me, his voice was gentle and held no trace of anything other than curiosity.
'Yeah, I had dinner with Jasper and it was still early when we were done,' I really didn't want to tell him about the argument, not tonight 'Jasper had
to go and I knew you were busy studying so I went over to Jacob's.'
He looked at me with one eyebrow raised 'I didn't realise you and Jacob were so friendly.'
'Yeah, well we won't be for much longer if his lousy timing doesn't improve.' I joked but Edward didn't smile.
After my argument with Jasper last night I really didn't want to risk something similar with Edward, I couldn't be sure he was jealous but he was
sober now and he was definitely bothered by the phone call.
I sighed 'The night we went on our date we had a real heart to heart, Jacob is in love with this girl and...'
'Leah.' He said and I was relieved that he knew.
I nodded 'So you know then that he's not interested in me that way?' He didn't answer so I continued 'I met him at the hospital the other day and
when we were having lunch Leah and her husband showed up,' he went back to the glass but I knew he was still listening 'It's just so sad, Jacob and
Leah are clearly in love with each other and yet she's stuck with that asshole.'
He laughed and I quirked my eyebrow 'You're developing quite a foul mouth these days!' His smile delighted me.
'I can't think of another word that suits that guy better. Anyway, last night Jacob told me all about the situation with Leah.'
'So why were you thanking him?'
He had me there. 'It was just nice of him to indulge me when I needed a friend.'
Wrong choice of expression!
His eyes narrowed slightly but then he turned and dumped the glass in the trash before returning to the cupboard and pulling out two more
glasses 'Weren't we supposed to be celebrating?' He said handing me a glass and then grabbing the bottle.
I stepped closer 'Are we taking this to bed?' I jumped when the cork popped out of the bottle and then he started pouring the bubbly liquid into my
glass.
'Patience!' He said clicking his glass to mine before taking a long drink. I followed suit. 'Are you hungry?' He asked and I realised I was.
'I'll cook something.' I offered.
He topped up my glass 'No, I'm going to go out and buy some beers, I'll pick us up a pizza if that's okay?'
I nodded, disappointed that he didn't want to go straight back to the bedroom but this was his celebration after all and, like he said, we had all
night. I drained my glass as I watched him leave and then sat back on the sofa and groaned as the champagne went straight to my head.
He'd been right in front of me, directly in front of my face, as I had pulled at his jeans. My eyes flew open, Oh God, maybe he wanted me to... it
would have been right there, right in front of my mouth. I stood up and paced imagining his large penis, Christ! That sounds so formal, his cock! I
giggled slightly, yes his cock would have been right at my mouth.
My eyes squeezed tight as a my insides lurched, could I really do that? I started to throb, I'm getting wet just thinking about it! I was giddy with
excitement as I made my way to the kitchen, I grinned at the banana sitting proudly on top of all the other fruit in the bowl. I grabbed it, peeled it and
squinted at it.

I lay it on the counter and grabbed the champagne bottle and poured a glass which I drained as I eyed the banana. This is silly! I put the glass
down gently and picked up the banana Oh what the hell! I slid it between my lips caught somewhere between feeling foolish and highly amused.
I pushed it in as far as I could, which really wasn't very far at all, I was vaguely aware of how ridiculous I must look, standing in my kitchen trying to
swallow a banana whole. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what to do, but I couldn't remember if I was supposed to suck first or lick first, I
went for the latter and flattened my tongue against the unwitting fruit.
I tried to swirl it but gagged when the tip of the banana hit the back of my throat, I pulled it out slightly and giggled again, this was absurd,
however my mouth had other ideas and before I knew what I was doing my cheeks were hollowed and I was sucking gently.
I rolled my tongue around the flesh and sucked again as I pulled it out of my mouth, just like I'd read I swirled my tongue around the tip but then I
yelped in pain as it grazed something sharp. The front door opened at the same moment and Edward came in to the kitchen to find me holding the
banana which now had blood on the end of it.
'What the hell?' he gasped gawking at the banana.
I felt my tongue and then stuck it out at him 'Is it cut?'
'How can you cut yourself on a banana?' He asked setting the Pizza and a brown bag on the table before moving closer and inspecting my
tongue. 'There's a tiny nick on it, it's not too bad,' he said and I smiled at the closeness of his face 'it shouldn't bleed for long.'
He prised the banana out of my grip and looked at it 'Ah, there's a tiny bit of glass embedded in the end of it.' He looked up at me quizzically.
'I sat it on the counter after I peeled it, you missed a bit of glass.' I could taste the hint of blood in my mouth and poured some champagne into my
glass to rinse it.
'Whoah!' He said grabbing the bottle holding it up 'You've really been hitting this!' His eyes went back to the banana. 'You didn't bite it.' He said
slowly.
'What?'
'How did you cut your tongue when you haven't even bitten the banana?'
Busted! I giggled.
'You're drunk.' He accused.
'Well you have some catching up to do.' I grinned. 'Come on this is supposed to be a celebration!'
He smiled dubiously 'I just don't get how you could have cut your tongue like that, I mean most people just bite into a banana,' He looked at me
'did you lick it or something?'
'I was sucking it!'
His eyes widened and he bit his lip before dragging his hands down his face and then fixing me with a hooded stare. 'Sucking it.' He parroted
quietly 'Fuck!'
'What's wrong?'
He stalked to the table and grabbed a beer from the bag and opened it, I watched open mouthed as he downed the whole thing in one and
grabbed another. 'Like you said,' he burped 'I have some catching up to do.' He pushed the pizza box in my direction 'Eat.' He ordered.
We ate in silence and I finished the champagne before stretching myself out on the sofa, Edward eyed me with an evil glint in his eye.
'What are you thinking?' I smiled.
'Let's play poker!' He suggested.
I sat up pleased by his playful tone and my head spun. He grabbed the cards from the sideboard and sat beside me 'You look beautiful when
your face is all flushed like that. He said pulling my hair back from my face, he moved closer 'Are you up for strip poker?'
I nodded knowing my face had just gone several shades deeper. He smiled wickedly and I almost launched myself at him right there.
I looked at the cards he'd dealt me and tried to remember how to play, after a few rounds I was sitting barefoot and wearing only my bra and
jeans. Edward had fared worse, he was scowling in only boxers. I could hardly bear to draw my eyes away from his body to look at the cards and
concentrating was nigh on impossible.
'I win!' He clapped his hands together and leered at me as I pouted 'Lose the jeans.' He grinned.
I took him by surprise when I reached behind my body and unclasped my bra, his reaction was empowering, the grin slipped from his face and
his eyes darkened as he watched fixated as I slowly lowered the straps. His Adam's apple bobbed a little as I pulled the fabric away revealing my
hardened nipples.
He stared for a long moment and I felt myself begin to melt under his gaze 'It's your turn to deal.' I croaked and his eyes shot up to my face and
stayed there as he shuffled the cards, the grin slowly returned as he dealt.
I lost the next round and I only had my jeans half way down when I was grabbed from behind 'let me help.' He rasped and I felt his hands slide
down my thighs taking the denim with them. I stepped out and he was kneeling on the floor behind me, I yelped when he bit my cheek.
He chuckled darkly and did it again, only gentler this time and then he licked the teeth marks. He kissed his way slowly up my back as he rose to
his feet and then nibbled my earlobe 'Turn around.' He whispered and I did, slowly.
He cupped my breasts and brushed his thumbs over the tips, my head fell back slightly and sighed with pleasure when he pressed his lips to the
base of my throat. His arms wound around me and he lifted me gently I knew where he was taking me and it was not before time.
'If the phone rings this time,' I murmured as he carried me 'I'll kill you if you answer it!'
His chuckle rumbled in his chest.
He sat me in the middle of the bed but I scooted to the edge beside him and pulled him to me, he kissed me feverishly and rubbed his hands
over my legs, up my arms and finally they were on my breasts as he bent and sucked my nipple into his mouth.
'Edward!' I moaned falling backwards, his mouth never left me as he followed, flicking his tongue over my aching tip and moved to my other
breast to do the same. His fingers hooked under my arms and he pushed me up the bed until I was pressed against the headboard, I felt cold air
pucker my skin as he sat up and looked at me.
He was breathing hard and my heart skipped at beat at the look in his eyes: dark, so very dark and intense. He didn't say a word as he grabbed
a fistful of my panties and with a loud rip they were suddenly in his hand, I gasped as he roughly pulled my legs apart and attacked me with his
mouth and tongue.
It felt so good but so different at the same time, I wriggled beneath him but his hands clamped my hips and held me in place as he nibbled on my
throbbing flesh, alternating between using his teeth and his tongue. I struggled to prop myself on my elbows and his eyes snapped open and he
watched me watching him, I had never seen his eyes darker and I bit my lip as I fought to maintain eye contact with him while I panted under the
pleasure of his ministrations.
One hand left my hip and snaked between my legs.
'Oh!' I gasped and my eyes rolled closed as he pushed his finger inside me and started thrusting with it. My orgasm started 'I love you!' I cried as
my elbows gave out and I collapsed onto the bed my pleasure rolling over me in waves as I came for him shouting his name and other incoherent
words. When I fluttered back down to earth he was lying on his back by my side and I curled myself against him, trailing my hand lightly down his
body.
'I want to do you now!' I said pressing my lips to his nipple. He sucked in a long unsteady breath and I could feel his heart beating wildly beneath
my face.
I sat up intending to move over his body but the room tilted on its axis and my stomach lurched embarrassingly 'Oh God!' I cried as I shot off the
bed and raced to the bathroom. I only just made it before I threw up into the bowl.
Even after my stomach was completely empty I continued to retch until eventually the convulsions ceased and I flushed the toilet before sagging
back against the bath. I opened my eyes to find Edward, dressed in his jeans, staring at me.
'I'm sorry!' I croaked 'too much champagne.'
His mouth set into a grim line 'You okay now?' I nodded and he bent to help me up 'Let's get you to bed.'
I felt disappointed when he led me to my own room 'I'm sorry,' I said again 'I didn't mean to ruin the night.'
'It's fine.' He said but didn't contradict me.
He pressed his lips to my forehead and left me sitting on the edge of my bed cursing the champagne.
a/n Thanks for reading!
Chapter 26
My alarm violently shattered my slumber at 7am and I groaned, my head was splitting and I had a full day of college ahead of me. I stumbled out
of bed and walked blindly to the bathroom rubbing my head and grimacing. I took a quick shower and felt semi normal again by the time I padded
back to my room to get dressed.
By eight I was ready to leave and I tapped on Edward's door I heard his muffled response and opened it, poking my head into the room.
'Hey!' I smiled sheepishly.
He was bleary eyed but looked like he might have been awake for hours 'Morning.' He said.
'I need to ask you a favour.'
'Shoot.' He said turning onto his side, the cover slid down his body revealing his naked chest and I wanted more than anything to get undressed
again and slide in there beside him. He quirked an eyebrow.
I blinked 'Sorry, I um, could you maybe go to Alice's today and pick my dress up for me?'
'Sure,' he said easily 'I have to pick up my suit from the dry cleaners, I'll stop by on the way back.'
I moved to the bed and bent to kiss his head but he looked up and I kissed him on the mouth, he reciprocated and I moaned around his tongue.
He pulled back and smiled weakly at me 'You'll be late.'
I frowned 'I can't wait for this weekend, it'll be nice to wake up and neither of us needs to rush out the door.'
He nodded but said nothing.
'Okay, I'll see you later.' I said and forced myself to leave.
My hangover really kicked in around ten o'clock and by lunchtime, I was tired and dehydrated. I bought a bottle of water from the canteen and sat
in a corner to read my book. I couldn't concentrate on it though and I looked up and scanned the room, he was sitting at the furthest away point from
where I was and that told me he had spotted me when I was reading.
As if he could feel my eyes on him he looked up and directly at me, his mouth curved down slightly and his eyes were flat and expressionless. I
couldn't look away but I couldn't smile either, we stared at each other until someone walked across our line of vision and broke the connection.
When the person passed Jasper was looking back down at his tray of food, none of which had been touched.
I wanted to go to him, but this was his doing and he had to be the one to fix it. I finished the last of my water and exited through the door behind
me. I struggled through the remainder of my day and got home to find my dress hanging on my bedroom door and a note from Edward.
I've gone out with Em, to shoot some pool and have a few beers
I won't get drunk, see you in the morning.
Edward.
I was a little disappointed but I decided to take the opportunity to make a bit of an effort for tomorrow. I made a salad for dinner and called
Charlie to see how he was doing, he was nervous as hell but I joked that as long as he didn't spend every night stuck in front of the flat screen he'd
be fine with Sue.
I took a bath and shaved my legs, plucked my eyebrows and clipped my toenails. After my bath I packed my overnight bag for the weekend and
smiled as I placed my new underwear in it. After the rough week I'd had I was really looking forward to spending time with Edward at the wedding
and to everything that would come after it.
I tried to imagine what it would feel like to have him inside me, my hand smoothed down my body and I sighed. I really wanted him so badly I was
almost tempted to wait up for him tonight but a wave of tiredness washed over me and I decided sleep was probably what I needed most.
I slept like a baby, it was morning when I opened my eyes and I hadn't even heard Edward come in. My eyes widened, had he come in?
I got out of bed and crept to his room I slowly opened his door and felt relieved and a little bit guilty that I had doubted him. He was lying face
down and fast asleep the sheets had fallen low, barely covering his buttocks.
I tiptoed to the bed and lifted the sheet before slipping in beside him. I showered his back with tiny kisses as I allowed my hand to roam over his
buttocks on top of the sheet. He turned to face me and smiled languorously 'Morning.' He croaked and he smelt faintly of beer and cigarettes.
'I didn't hear you come in last night.' I said still stroking his gorgeous butt.
'It was late.' He murmured and then he rolled onto his back.
My hand stayed where it was and I moaned when his erection brushed my hand. He curled his hand around my neck and pulled me down to kiss
him, lust consumed me and I attacked his mouth sucking greedily on his lower lip before releasing it and plunging my tongue into his mouth.
 A soft chuckle escaped his lips but then he gasped when my hand burrowed under the sheet and wrapped around his rigid length.
'Oh,' he gasped and pressed his hips into my hand 'oh that's good!'
His fingers brushed my skin as he pushed my top up and clamped his mouth to my breast, all control was lost as we frantically explored each
other's bodies with, hands, fingers, mouths and tongues. He pulled me over him so I was straddling him and he sat up slightly against the
headboard, I smiled when he ripped my top off leaving my pyjama shorts the only barrier between his naked body and mine.
His hands slid up my thighs as his eyes raked over my naked breasts 'I love your tits.' He murmured and placed his hands on my hips before he
ground against me. 'They're perfect, so soft,' he flicked one pebbled nipple with his tongue 'and delicious!'
I angled my hips and rubbed myself on his thick shaft whimpering at the much needed friction on my clitoris. One hand snaked up my back and
he pulled me forward slightly so his mouth could reach my breasts more easily.
I started to writhe on him.
'Oh, that's it baby,' he groaned, his eyes were dark and he looked up at me through his lashes 'you like that?'
'Yes!' I almost screamed as he held me clamped to him and started licking and sucking my nipples with more purpose.
I looked down and watched as he devoured my breasts, the erotic sight spurring me on and I rubbed myself furiously on him. Just as I felt I might
come, he growled loudly and flipped me onto my back 'I need to taste you!' He hissed yanking down my shorts.
He paused and kissed me deeply before pressing his lips to my ear 'I love licking your pussy.'
I gasped and my insides clenched at the sound of his bold words. 'Oh! God!' I positively squirmed in his arms, I loved his dirty talk.
He started to kiss his way down my body and when I felt his breath on me I stopped him.
His eyes darted to mine, his expression concerned. I smiled and I saw the relief wash over him. 'I want you to touch yourself while you do it,' I
whispered almost gasping from the intensity of my desire for him 'I want you to come too!'
His eyes rolled back and I propped myself up on my elbows to watch, God how I loved to watch him. He opened his eyes and stared down at me
'You're so fucking beautiful Bella.' He hummed and then I groaned as he wrapped his hand around his cock.
'Oh yes!' I hissed as his hand began to move and then his mouth lowered to my aching flesh.
I watched as he lapped at me with his tongue before closing his lips over me and sucking, I flopped onto the bed in raptures and tangled my
fingers in his hair as I arched my pelvis into his face. I threw my head to the side and watched as he stroked himself, it was such a massive turn on
to watch him do that and I felt my orgasm prickling on the periphery of my consciousness.
'Oh Edward, I'm coming.' I yelped as my hips started to buck into him and he moaned around my quivering core. I felt something warm and wet
hitting my inner thigh and it felt like it propelled me back to the start of my orgasm as I realised he was coming too and I actually screamed in
pleasure as it washed over me again.
Spent, he finally dropped down and his head rested on my belly while we both struggled to regulate our breathing.
I stroked his hair and looked down at him 'You are perfect.' I sighed.
He whispered something that sounded like 'Don't say that.'
My brow furrowed 'What?'
He planted a smacking kiss on my belly crawled up my body bringing his pelvis into direct contact with mine. Even though he didn't have an
erection it was a little shocking to feel him pressed against me like that.
'Sorry!' He said lifting his hips and shifting to my side instead.
I giggled and was rewarded with a soft chuckle from him. 'That was the best!' I sighed then I sat up, 'let's take a bath!'
'What is with you this morning?' He asked, his tone amused 'You're insatiable.'
'Today is a good day,' I grinned 'Charlie is getting married,' I slid my finger down his nose and then laughed when he captured it with his teeth
'and I get to take you home with me to Forks for the night.'
He released my finger and leapt off the bed, scooped me into his arms and carried me squealing to the bathroom. A short while later I was
sitting in the bath between his legs, my back to him, while he washed my hair.
'Mmmm, that's nice.' I crooned as his fingers massaged my scalp. 'It's been a real pain having to wash my own hair, I've missed this.'
He chuckled and switched the showerhead on and rinsed me off 'Conditioner?' He said dropping the showerhead. I nodded and he smoothed
some of the strawberry scented one through my hair.
The showerhead moved around beneath the water and I yelped when it sprayed me unexpectedly. 'Oh!' I exclaimed.
 'What?' Edward asked still stroking his fingers through my hair.
'The showerhead.' I gasped realising it felt quite nice.
When I shuddered he must have realised what was happening and he rooted around under the water until he found it and pressed it closer to me
'This?' He breathed pressing his lips to my shoulder.
I responded with a low groan, the water was a different temperature to the bath water which only heightened the sensation of it on my centre. My
head lolled back on to his chest and I could feel his erection growing against my back.
'You like that baby, don't you?' He crooned snaking his other hand around my body and down between my legs.
My ability to speak had deserted me as he slid one long finger inside me while he moved the showerhead sweeping the spray, which danced
like electric sparks, across my eager clitoris. It didn't take long for me to come and I was a trembling wreck as he rinsed my hair and finally shut the
water off.
He helped me out of the bath and when I was drying myself I suddenly remembered I hadn't tried the dress on yet. 'Oh heck! I need to try the
dress on and make sure it's okay.' I said wrapping the towel around myself and heading to my room.
I heard the shower running as I slipped into the dress which fit like a glove, I trotted back into the bathroom intending to show Edward but
stopped in my tracks when I saw him. He was standing beneath the spray one hand propped against the wall while he was pumping his cock hard
with the other.
He hadn't heard me and I stood in awe, feeling myself get wet again, watching him. I would never get sick of this sight, he was all man and just
like Alice had explained to me, all he was doing was taking control of his own desires. I watched transfixed as his hips started to buck erratically
and he uttered my name as long streams of white fluid shot out of his penis.
I was both thrilled and shocked at the same time, I'd never seen anything like it, thrilled because he cried my name and shocked because I found
the sight of him coming incredibly arousing.
He turned and started when he saw me but then his lips spread into a smile. 'Busted!' He grinned.
'Do you do that a lot?' I asked lightly.
'I did when I was a young teenager and then I took it up again when I met you!' He joked stepping out of the tub 'The dress is beautiful by the way.'
I gasped, I'd forgotten I was wearing it, I jerked my thumb over my shoulder 'I better go and take it off.'
'Need any help?' He smirked.
'We'll be late if we don't get a move on.' I said ruefully and he nodded.
Less than an hour later we were in the truck headed for Forks, I was happy that Edward was back to his playful self and put his strange behaviour
this week down to tension caused by his exams.
'So your dad's the chief right?' He asked as I negotiated the rain slick roads that led to forks, Edward had managed to hang up his suit and my
dress over the door on his side but it meant that any time I came to a junction he had to shift them so I could see.
'Yeah, so practically everyone in Forks knows us.'
'You don't like that?'
'Not really, it was excruciating when I was growing up. Everybody knew who I was and knew about my mother and how I had lived before coming
to live there.' I sighed 'I was the town freak for many years, something of a curiosity.'
He glanced at me sideways 'You're definitely a curiosity Bella Swan!' There was nothing mean in his words, in fact the way he said them had me
glowing with pride.
He asked me a lot of questions about growing up in Forks and then he swapped some stories about living with Alice and her family. As we
passed the sign heralding our arrival in Forks I turned to him.
'Dad thinks I'm driving us back to Seattle tonight.' I warned him.
He nodded 'And he still thinks you live with Jasper, got it.' I heard a slight frisson of annoyance but I could also understand it and appreciated him
agreeing to play along.
I stopped at the end of the street and Edward pulled the garment bags to the side and peered out of the window at the houses 'Which one's
yours?'
I pointed along to the other end of the street 'It's along there.'
He turned to me, one eyebrow cocked 'Why did you stop here?'
 I slid along the seat 'Because I want one last kiss before I have to force myself to keep my hands off you for the rest of the day.'
He didn't need me to ask twice as he pulled me flush against him and kissed me senseless. I sat dazed for a moment and then reluctantly slid
back to the wheel and drove towards my house.
I parked behind the cruiser and got out while Edward unhooked the garment bags. Our overnight bags were hidden under the seat and my heart
did a little happy dance when I glanced at them as I got out of the truck.
Charlie greeted us at the door, looking tired and grey and grouchy and more dishevelled than I had ever seen him.
'God dad, you look terrible.' I said climbing the steps 'Did you get any sleep last night?'
He finally smiled 'It's nothing a couple of cups of coffee and a shower can't sort.'
I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him when I reached the top of the stairs, he kissed my forehead and then held me at arms length.
'You look,' his brow creased as his eyes roamed over my face 'glowing!' he finally smiled 'I guess Seattle agrees with you.' I slid my arm around his
waist as he pressed me to his side and then turned his attention to Edward.
'Dad, this is my date Edward.' I smiled 'Edward, this is my dad.'
Edward stepped forward and held out his hand 'It's good to meet you Chief Swan.'
Charlie removed his arm from my shoulder and shook Edward's hand ' Aren't you a little old for Bella?' He asked.
'I'm 27.' Edward said grimly and I could have kicked Charlie.
'Edward's a med student, dad, he's going to be a doctor.'
'Hopefully.' Edward said and I stifled a giggle because he looked like he was about to blush.
'So how did you two meet?'
Charlie was so protective, I knew he'd start with the twenty questions as soon as we arrived 'Edward is Alice's cousin.' I said pushing him into the
house 'Remember Alice? That nice girl of Jasper's you like so much.' I turned and rolled my eyes at Edward who was reluctantly following us into the
house.
'Have you had anything to eat?' I asked as we made it to the kitchen.
Charlie shook his head and I pushed him down into a chair and motioned for Edward to sit down too. 'Okay, I'll cook us something light and then
you need to go take a shower, dad and have a shave, for heaven's sake!'
They sat awkwardly facing one another at the table while I moved around the kitchen cooking. I couldn't help but notice that Charlie would stare at
Edward when he was watching me and Edward would only look at Charlie if he was doing the same.
Every now and then Charlie would ask me a question or I would tell him little things about Seattle but I wanted to avoid getting into that subject too
deeply, in case he mentioned my living arrangements. He asked Edward a few questions about mundane things but apart from that he barely
spoke to him.
After our light lunch Charlie headed off to the shower and I gave Edward a mini tour of the house and garden. I showed him Jasper's house and
the tree house and by the time we got back in Charlie was stomping around upstairs and yelling about things he couldn't find.
He was heading back downstairs when the doorbell rang.
I smiled as I answered it and saw Alice standing there 'Alice!' I said pulling her in, I faltered when Jasper stepped into view behind her.
'Alice!' Charlie said coming downstairs fumbling with his tie 'Good to see you again!'
Alice stepped into the hallway and immediately brushed Charlie's hands away from the tie 'My don't you look handsome.' She grinned expertly
fixing the tie for him.
Oh my God! Did he just blush?
Edward and I exchanged an amused glance as Alice reduced Charlie to a big harmless puppy dog.
Jasper avoided my gaze and stepped into the house I closed the door and stood awkwardly behind him.
'Good to see you Jasper!' Charlie said and shook his hand vigorously and then threw his arm across his shoulder leading him into the living
room 'So how's college going?'
'Good.' Was all Jasper said and I could see the hard glances he and Edward exchanged as he passed him on his way into the living room.
We had no choice but to follow.
Charlie stood talking to Jasper grilling him about college. I sat beside Edward on the sofa and slipped my hand into his, he turned away from
Jasper and Charlie and smiled at me and gave my fingers a little squeeze.
'So I hope you're looking after my girl.' Charlie said and I looked up to see him eyeing my hand in Edward's pointedly.
Jasper had at least the good grace to look embarrassed 'Everything's fine.' He mumbled.
Alice turned to me and I had the distinct impression she was using diversionary tactics when she pulled me off the couch and ushered me out of
the room 'Go get ready and I'll do your hair and make up for you.'
I mock saluted her and bounded upstairs calling over my shoulder that Edward could use the bathroom to get changed in.
I slowly negotiated the stairs holding the dress up, terrified that I might trip over it and fall to my death.
'You look stunning in that dress,' Alice exclaimed clasping her hands to her chest 'doesn't she Jasper?'
He nodded and afforded me with a cursory glance before turning away and saying the word 'yes' far more brightly than he looked. Jasper
returned to Charlie in the living room while Alice fussed around with my hair and makeup in the kitchen.
Edward came down and glanced into the living room before joining us, he looked stunning in his midnight blue suit and matching tie, he was
clean shaven and had clearly tried unsuccessfully to tame his hair. I motioned with my finger to move closer and when he did I grabbed his tie and
pulled him down before ruffling his hair.
'There that's better.' I grinned and Alice giggled.
Alice handed me a mirror and I looked at my face, 'Wow, you really know your stuff.' I smiled, I looked sort of pretty. I checked my hair and she
had pinned it up leaving soft wispy curls around my face and neck.
'Okay, I have to go and put the finishing touches to my own outfit,' she kissed Edward and patted my back 'We'll see you at the church.'
Edward loomed over me his eyes glowing 'You look...' he blew out a long shaky breath 'beautiful doesn't even begin to cover it. I like your hair
tied up.'
I blushed to the roots of my hair but I didn't get a chance to respond as Charlie chose that moment to come into the kitchen, Edward took a step
back and Charlie smiled at me with tears in his eyes.
'You look so grown up.'
I rolled my eyes 'That's because I am dad, I'm not a little girl anymore.'
He came over to me and pressed his lips to my forehead 'You'll always be my little girl.'
While we waited for the cars to arrive I thought about Jasper, he was like a coiled spring, the way his eyes had kept darting around the room
when he was talking to Charlie. He could barely look at me but he looked at Edward often and I worried that he wouldn't be able to keep it together
for the day.
'That's the cars!' Charlie yelled springing to his feet, he did a comical mini jog round the table patting his pockets 'I've got the ring!' he
announced. 'Shit! My wallet!' He hissed and then bounded up the stairs.
Edward brushed his finger lightly down my cheek 'It's gonna be a LONG day.' He smiled.
a/n It is going to be a long day, at least a couple of chapters long! What is going to happen between Jasper and Bella, it has to
come to a head, surely? I liked Edward in this chapter I think he responds well to horny Bella, well better than he does to 'in love'
Bella! I want to do something I've never done before and add a tiny preview to the next chapter:
'Yes, I'm fine.' I replied and hooked my arm in his and began rushing down the hallway.
I heard the door close behind me and prayed that Edward wouldn't turn round but he did and he froze. I closed my eyes and wished the ground
would swallow me up.
'Was he in there with you?'
I looked up at him and nodded as I slowly turned round, he wasn't looking at me he was glaring at Jasper who had just emerged from the ladies
restroom where I had just come from and he was walking towards us.
Thoughts?
Chapter 27
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Woo hooooo! (roller coaster style scream!) I got 29 reviews for the last chapter, I think its a record. I am pleased!
So here is another chapter. Hope you like it. I'll update again midweek, been too busy reading, not enough writing this weekend I'm
afraid! Silly me!
A MASSIVE thank you too to the people who are adding this as favourites and alert, I am hoping that since most of you don't
review you will do so at the end? Maybe the last chapter will get 200 odd reviews (I can't even imagine that, but I can try to dream)
Sue was a member of a Church, I'm not sure which religion, all I knew was it wasn't Catholic since they were allowing Charlie, a divorcee, to be
married there. The service was really beautiful, Sue had written some personal words for her part of the vows but Charlie being Charlie, he
mumbled his way through the traditional ones.
Despite his obvious discomfort it moved me to see him standing there making his vows to Sue, I could see it in his eyes and in the gentle loving
way he caressed her hands as he spoke just how much she meant to him.
It brought a tear of happiness to my eye to think that he had found someone to spend the rest of his life with, that he wouldn't be lonely any more.
I stole a couple of glances at Alice sitting blissfully ignorant between a tense Jasper and Edward, I couldn't escape the feeling there was trouble
brewing there and as the minutes wore on I started to lose faith that we would see out the day without incident.
During the photographs I noticed that Edward was hovering around in the background while Jasper and Alice stood chatting with Jasper's father.
I snuck over to Edward while I wasn't needed 'It won't be much longer now and then we can sit together at the reception.' I promised.
'It's fine Bella.' He said easily though his eyes flickered to Alice and Jasper alerting me to the fact that it really wasn't fine at all.
'I'll make it up to you tonight.' I whispered sliding my hand surreptitiously over his ass. I briefly wondered if I should tell him I wanted him to make
love to me tonight, but then I decided against it. Maybe he'd like the surprise.
He winked at me as I was called back to the bridal party.
The wedding party was relatively small and Charlie had hired a modestly sized function room at the local hotel to hold the reception. I was
disappointed that I had to sit at the top table during the meal with the rest of the bridal party and I watched nervously as Edward sat eating at the
same table as Alice and Jasper. The three of them looked miserable now and it was plainly obvious that Alice had picked up on the tension
between the two men.
I hardly heard a word of the speeches and simply laughed when everyone else did, but when Charlie got up to speak, he touched my shoulder
half way through and I listened with tears in my eyes as he told me how much he loved and missed me and how proud he was of me for the way I'd
turned out.
I dabbed my eyes before he pulled me up into his arms and gave me a bone crushing hug that brought fresh tears to my eyes. At last the music
struck up and bodies started to fill the small dance floor. Charlie and Sue had decided against a first dance and though I had worried that decision
had been more Charlie's my fears were alleviated when Sue explained she felt it would look foolish at their age. I smiled as I watched them dance
slowly in the midst of everyone else, they were perfect for each other.
I made my way to Edward, stopping briefly here and there to greet people I hadn't seen for a long time. He was blessedly alone at the table, I
glanced around and saw Jasper and Alice on the dance floor.
'I thought the meal would never be over.' I sighed plonking down in the seat next to him.
He smiled tightly.
'Are you okay?' I asked.
'What's up with Jasper?' He said looking at me with accusation in his eyes 'He hasn't said a word all day and he's drinking heavily, Alice has
noticed too.' I followed his gaze when he glanced at them and it was true, he looked a little unsteady on his feet already 'He's made no attempt to
speak to you nor you him all day.'
I swallowed 'Can we talk about this later?'
He picked up his drink and I noticed it was a soft drink as he brought it to his lips. He took a long drink watching Jasper over the glass before he
set it down again, a little too forcefully, and turned his attention back to me. His movements were slow and controlled and my heart sunk when I
realised he was angry and trying hard to control it.
'I'd rather you tell me now.' He bit out.
'Look, Edward, this is my dad's wedding, we can talk about it later, it was just a silly little argument.'
 'What was it about?'
'Please!' I said touching his arm 'It was nothing, I'll tell you everything later.'
He glanced at my hand and sighed 'Okay, I won't ruin your day, but you will tell me later.'
'I promise.' I said even though his words had been more of a statement than a question.
Alice and Jasper were making their way back to the table and Edward, perhaps not very subtly grabbed my hand and pulled me to my feet 'Let's
dance.' He insisted.
This time I didn't stand on his feet, it didn't feel right with Charlie there, so we barely moved as we swayed to the music. I felt him relax a little and I
smiled up at him.
'Do you think my dancing has improved?'
He snorted good naturedly and I was relieved that his anger had dissipated 'No! This isn't dancing, this is just holding on and moving in circles'
he smiled and his eyes twinkled 'but I'll take it.'
'I'm so happy my dad has found someone.' I mused pressing my cheek to his chest .
The song ended and a fast one followed, I pulled my head back and grimaced at Edward shaking my head. He took my hand and led me off the
floor.
We made our way back to the table and just as I was bracing myself to face Alice, Charlie materialised in front of her.
'You haven't been formally introduced to Sue have you?' He asked as Alice smiled up at him.
'No I don't think I have met your wife.' She grinned and Charlie flushed with pride and gave an odd little cough as his lips curved into a smile. 'I'd
love you to introduce us,' Alice continued and then stood up 'but since she's already on the dance floor then perhaps you could dance with me first?'
Charlie looked stricken, his dancing skills were only marginally better than mine, but to his credit he held his hand out to Alice and led her to the
dance floor. I looked around and saw Jasper talking to our neighbours in the corner. Edward had gone to get some drinks and I didn't want to be left
sitting at the table alone in case Jasper came over so I went to the bathroom instead.
Despite Alice's little show of happiness with Charlie,I knew she was miserable and I felt so guilty that Jasper was acting like such a jackass and
she had no idea why. I washed my hands and was just about to wash my face when I remembered I was wearing makeup so instead I checked that I
didn't have any mascara streaks and satisfied with how I looked left the bathroom.
When I opened the door Jasper was waiting outside, he took a step forward and I bolted back inside but to my horror he followed me and locked
the door behind him. He turned to face me and his eyes were slightly hooded from the alcohol but he wasn't dangerously drunk.
'I just want to talk to you.' He said holding his hands up and keeping his back against the door.
'It's Alice you should be talking to.' I said warily 'You're making her miserable today and she has no idea why. Come to think of it neither do I.'
'You know what's wrong with me.' He said almost as if he desperately needed to believe that.
'I don't Jasper, you have everything you could want with Alice and yet you're acting like a jealous school boy over me. I don't understand it, you
love Alice, she's perfect. Why are you acting like this?'
He started to move towards me and though I was concerned by his inebriated state, I knew he would never hurt me.
'I hate seeing you with him!' He hissed and it struck me that he rarely ever used Edwards name.
'Jasper, you can't keep doing this, you hurt me the other night with the things you said and I don't want to go over it all again today. You need to
sober up and get over this nonsense.' I reasoned.
'Why him?'
I sighed and struggled to stay calm 'It's really none of your business Jasper, remember we talked about boundaries? You're my best friend,
you're not my father, this is my life and I'm free to choose whomever I want.'
'Did you mean what you said the other night?' His words were slow and deliberate and I knew he was trying to appear completely sober but it
wasn't working.
'I said so many things, you'll have to narrow it down.' I was tired off this now and wanted to get back to the party.
'You said you need him more than you need me,' for the first time he really looked into my eyes and I could see his hurt 'is that true?'
I softened 'Oh Jasper, I need you both, but in different ways, you're my friend, you're always there when I need you but you have Alice and I have
Edward, our priorities are different.'
 'You didn't answer the question.' He was becoming agitated now.
'Yes , I do need him more than you Jasper, just like you need Alice more than me, if you want it in black and white.'
'It kills me to think of him touching you, Bella,' His voice was quiet and filled with emotion 'I can't bear the thought of you being with him.'
'Because it's him?' I challenged 'Or because you wish it was you?'
His eyes snapped up and he reached for me, I took a step back but he still caught me and wound his arms around me 'Bella, I do love Alice,' he
buried his face in my neck as I tried to prise myself free 'I do! but I love you too.'
'And I loved you too, but not like that, like a brother, a-a best friend but not like that!' I tried to sound gentle but it came out forceful 'Let me go
Jasper.'
He straightened without releasing his grip and stared into my eyes 'I can't stop thinking about you,' he wasn't listening to me, he was too wrapped
up in his own delusions 'ever since I moved out and you started to change, I don't know if it gave me perspective, but I think about you all the time.'
His face was only millimetres from mine 'I want to kiss you!' His fingers were biting into the back of my neck as he tried to pull me closer. I resisted.
I groaned pulling back with all my might 'Jazz, don't! You're drunk and confused, we had it sorted, you're about to ruin everything.' I knew I was
babbling but I just wanted him to stop 'You're just making something out of nothing, you were happy when you thought I was dating Jacob and yet
now because Edward hasn't been lily white in the past you see yourself as some knight in shining armour coming to save me.'
His grip relaxed slightly but he still didn't let me go 'When you were with Jacob that day at the barbecue, there was nothing there, I could see it,
but with Edward I can see the way you look at him. I can see you want him!' He released my neck and gripped my hand 'I want you Bella, and I want
you to look at me like that!'
I was horrified, I hadn't expected this at all, he was telling me he wanted me in a sexual way and it appalled me. I couldn't believe that he meant it,
I needed to believe that it was simple jealousy over being replaced as the most important person in my life, outside of Charlie, and he was
confusing his feelings for me.
All I could think about was Alice, out there wondering what was going wrong and he was in here saying all these things to me that he shouldn't be
saying to anyone but her. They were so good together, I'd seen it, I'd been sure of his love for her and yet here he was throwing it all away because
he couldn't make sense of his feelings for me.
Afraid if I rejected him too harshly he would do something silly I slid my hands up his chest and pushed 'Jasper, you're scaring me now, let me
go!'
He released me at once looking wounded. 'I can't lose you.' He whispered.
'It didn't have to be like this,' I cried 'we were best friends, that was enough, it's you that's ruining everything! And if you don't sort yourself out you'll
lose Alice too!'
'He treats women like whores!' He hissed 'Are you really going to let him do that to you?'
I moved to the door and he made no attempt to stop me as I unlocked it and left.
I wasn't at all surprised to see Edward on the other side, I knew he'd notice the two of us were gone and come looking for me. 'You've been in
there a long time,' he said 'Is everything alright?'
'Yes, I'm fine.' I replied and hooked my arm in his and began rushing down the hallway.
I heard the door close behind us and prayed that Edward wouldn't turn round but he did and he froze. I closed my eyes and wished the ground
would swallow me up.
'Was he in there with you?'
I looked up at him and nodded as I slowly turned round, he wasn't looking at me he was glaring at Jasper who was walking towards us.
'You could have had anybody, Bella..' Jasper slurred 'Why him? Why are you cheapening yourself with him? I know what you want but he can't
give it to you!'
Edward turned to me and his eyes were on fire with rage 'Is this who you've been confiding in? Did he buy you those books?' He glared at
Jasper 'You're with Alice, what the fuck were you doing in the bathroom with Bella?
'No, Edward.' I begged 'You've got it all wrong, it was Al..' But Jasper spoke at the same time.
'I don't know what books you're talking about all I'm trying to do is make her see sense about you!' Jasper hissed. 'What's wrong Edward, you
sick of the sure things? Did you feel like a challenge, I mean it must get boring when it's handed on a plate to you so easily!' His eyes, filled with
disdain, raked over Edward 'Bella's not like your usual whores is that what the attraction is? Are you enjoying the chase?'
Edward stepped forward glowering but Jasper turned to me 'That's all you are to him Bella, a challenge once he's fucked you, he'll drop you like
a stone!'
 'Don't you talk to her like that!' Edward snarled.
Jasper laughed in his face 'You don't even know her man, I know her, I know everything about her and even though she thinks she wants you..' he
hiccupped slightly and looked at me 'I know she doesn't because she wants to find love,' He snorted 'and that's something you're not capable of
giving!'
'Jasper!' I yelled 'You don't know how wrong you are! By everything you've just said, you don't know me at all!'
He turned 'No I don't, you're not Bella anymore, you might as well be just another one of his desperate whores!'
It all happened in slow motion, Edward pounced, there was a sickening crack as his fist smashed into Jasper's jaw 'Don't you ever say that about
her!' Edward roared as Jasper hit the ground.
He pulled him up and hit him again 'I'll fucking kill you, you goddamn son of a bitch!'
'Hey, hey, hey!' Charlie came rushing to the scene followed by several other men and pulled Edward away from Jasper.
Edward struggled with Charlie still incandescent with rage and Charlie pushed him backwards I splayed my hands on his back to stop him from
knocking me over. He turned wildly and pushed me hard, I went flying into a table and hit my head on the wall, something broke beneath me as I fell
to the floor.
'Oh God, Bella!' Edward cried rushing to my side 'Shit, Bella, I'm sorry, I didn't know it was you, I...'
'You better get the hell out of here son!' Charlie roared standing over us 'Before I haul your ass down to the station.' He turned to me and his eyes
were black with rage 'I'm surprised at you Bella, is this the type of punk you're mixing with in Seattle?'
Edward turned back to me and I'd never seen him so miserable.
'Move!' Charlie roared.
'Dad, It's okay, he didn't mean it..'
'I'm going.' Edward said standing up and he took a long hard look at me before turning away.
'Edward!' I sobbed, struggling to my feet. Charlie grabbed my arm 'Let me go dad!' I shouted.
I glared at Jasper who was slumped against the wall, holding a tissue to his bleeding nose 'See what you've done?' I turned back to Charlie 'Let
me go!' He did and I saw Alice standing open mouthed at the end of the hallway as I shot out the door to catch Edward.
The street outside was empty, my head swivelled wildly as I looked in every direction but I couldn't see him. 'Edward!' I called as I started to run to
the corner but he wasn't anywhere in sight, I turned and ran the other way and my heart plummeted I didn't know which way to go.
I heard the door open behind me and turned to see Alice storming out. 'What the hell is going on Bella?'
'You need to speak to Jasper,' I cried tangling my hands in my hair, I'd forgotten there were pins in it and I started pulling them out and letting it fall
down 'I need to find Edward.' I sobbed turning and heading in the opposite direction.
I heard her heels as she followed me 'What's going on with you and Jasper?'
I didn't answer her but kept frantically looking for any sign of Edward, he was gone and it was all I cared about until she spun me round and I saw
the pain etched in her face.
Tears coursed down my face as she clutched my shoulders 'Jasper is in the men's room with his father, I need you to tell me what's going on,
Bella, please!'
'I don't know what's going on Alice,' I sighed, reluctantly giving up on finding Edward for the time being. 'I can only tell you what's happened, the
rest you'll need to get from Jasper.' I couldn't bear to tell her everything, Jasper was drunk, maybe he could salvage this if I didn't. Not that I wanted
to deceive Alice but I couldn't believe that their love wasn't real.
We sat on a bench and she wrung her fingers in her lap, while I started pulling the pins out of my hair, letting it fall to my shoulders.
'I told Jasper about Edward and me the other night and he didn't take it well.'
'What did he say?' She asked quietly.
'I can't remember the exact words but he accused Edward of turning me into a slut and said I deserve someone better.'
'Someone, meaning him?'
'You should speak to him, I don't want to make things worse.'
She sucked in a sharp breath 'You know when I first met him and he told me about you, my initial reaction was that there was something weird
going on. I mean, no one is as close as you two were without their being romantic feelings involved. But the more I got to know him I really believed
him when he said he just felt very protective of you,' A tear slid down her cheek 'but less than a month after he moved in with me things started to
change, he started to talk about you more and more..'
'But I've hardly seen him since he moved in with you, I thought you two were too wrapped up in each other!' I protested.
'I know, I thought it was because he was desperate to make it work with me, but now I'm wondering if it's because he couldn't bear to see you
with Edward. I thought if I helped you and Edward get together, he'd see what a good person Edward really is and he'd realise he had nothing to
worry about.' She sighed 'Maybe deep down I thought if he saw you together he'd forget this jealous infatuation he has.'
'So you only helped me to keep me away from Jasper?' I had no right to feel aggrieved but a small part of me did.
'Partly,' she admitted 'but I meant everything I said, you are impossible not to like and I really did want you to be happy and to find what you were
looking for.' She stared off into the distance and I could see the beginnings of tears shimmering in her eyes 'Jasper and I moved too fast, I shouldn't
have let him move in with me.'
I wanted to tell her she was wrong that everything would be alright and that Jasper really did love her, but I didn't know if any of that was true
anymore.
'What happened in there,' she said waving her hand at the hotel 'Why did Edward hit him?'
'Jasper followed me into the bathroom, we argued and then Edward saw us coming out.'
'What did Jasper say to you in the bathroom?'
'It all happened so fast...'
'Did he tell you he wants you?' She said her voice harder now 'tell me the truth!'
Please don't make me break your heart!
She stood up 'You don't have to say anything Bella, you just told me all I need to know.'
'Alice!' I called as she walked back to the hotel 'I'm so sorry!'
She turned 'Bella, this isn't your fault, but please understand when I tell you, you're the last person I want to be around right now!'
Just with one man's actions the four of us were shattered and scattered to the winds. I sat on the bench not sure what to do, but eventually I
realised this was Charlie's day and I had to go back in there and explain myself to him.
I took a deep breath as I opened the door and stepped inside, the music was still playing in the reception room and there were a few people
chatting in the corridors but thankfully there was no sign of Jasper or Alice. I nervously stepped into the reception room and spotted Charlie and Sue
talking to a group of people at their table.
Swallowing my nervous pride I approached the table, Charlie shot to his feet and met me half way. 'I came outside, but you were speaking to
Alice!' He rubbed the back of his neck 'That poor girl doesn't have a clue what's going on.'
'I'm so sorry, dad,' I said feeling myself welling up 'I hope I haven't ruined your day.'
He shook his head 'No, don't worry about that, I'm just worried about you, what the hell happened? How could you get yourself mixed up with a
guy like that? Jasper said he lives in your apartment, is that true?'
'Yes, but it's not how you think,' I dipped my head 'not yet, but Dad, you don't know him, you don't know anything about the situation,' I ruffled my
fingers through my hair and found a few more pins and then blushed for Charlie when I realised what a sight I must look. 'this is your wedding, it's not
the time or place for me to explain, but I will.'
He blew out a harsh breath 'I want you to move back to Forks.' He bit out.
'I'm not going to do that dad..'
His face turned an alarming shade of purple 'Bella, I won't have you shacking up with some man who goes around hitting people for no reason!'
Sue appeared behind him and laid her hand on his arm 'Charlie.' She said quietly.
'Sue, I'm so sorry,' I said tears spilling from my eyes 'what must you think of me, I really didn't mean to cause all this drama on your big day.'
She smiled sympathetically 'Bella, you didn't spoil anything, sure, I would have preferred it hadn't happened, but that's life.'
My lips were trembling so hard I couldn't even thank her for her kind words. She handed me a tissue and I blew my nose loudly before composing
myself and finally managing to speak 'I hope you two will have a very good honeymoon, but I need to go now.'
Charlie, calmer now, pulled me into his arms 'At least don't drive home tonight, stay at the house.'
That broke my heart just a little bit more when it reminded me that I was supposed to be staying there anyway but with Edward. My breathing
hitched, I had woken up in a different world this morning, one where Edward would have fully become my lover tonight.
 I kissed Charlie and Sue and she assured me it was okay to leave as they would be going soon too. I called a cab from my cell phone and
waited outside. I had no idea what had happened to Alice and Jasper but all I wanted to do was get back to Seattle and try to salvage something
from the wreckage with Edward.
I paid the cab driver and trudged wearily to my truck, I took my keys from my bag and despite Charlie's request got in and put the keys in the
ignition. I couldn't sleep in the house alone tonight, not without Edward.
The engine roared to life and I sat back shifting it into gear when a movement caught my eye in the rearview mirror. My heart leapt in my chest,
he was standing by the side of the house. I quickly killed the engine and got out, I sighed heavily with relief as I closed the door.
He was standing with his hands in his pockets, his head bowed and it took all the strength I had not to run to him but to walk, while my mind raced
and I wondered what the hell I was going to say to him.
Oh dear! I need your honesty!
Chapter 28
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Early update this week! Thanks for the reviews I feel like they are POURING in! Please keep them coming I love each and every one
and they make me want to write and update all the time. There's nothing quite as nice as that beep telling me I have mail and finding a
review.
Okay, so for this chapter I have to give a MASSIVE thank you to Inge-80, I had two versions of it and was really finding it hard to
decide which way to go. Inge came up with the plan that I should combine both versions so this is it! Thanks Inge for making this so
much better than it was!
I have also been offered a beta service as well so maybe I'm going up in the world :O)
Okay so it's time for a chat!
I approached him and the closer I got the more I wanted to just wrap my arms around him, so that's what I did. I walked up to him, said nothing
and pressed my cheek to his chest while I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him with all my might.
He remained rigid for long moments but I couldn't give up on him and I simply held him and waited. Finally he lifted one hand and rubbed my hair
and I almost cried with the relief that he didn't push me away.
'Did I hurt you?' He asked when I finally pulled back 'I couldn't leave till I knew you were alright and I couldn't come back to the wedding,' he said
ruefully 'I didn't want to spoil your dad's day any further.'
'I'm okay,' I said 'I have a small cut on my arm, but it's nothing a band aid won't cure.' I lifted my arm and there was blood on my dress.
He sucked in a sharp breath and swore 'I'm so sorry Bella, I shouldn't have hit him I...'
'Come inside.' I whispered 'We need to talk.'
I reached for his hand and laced our fingers together and offered up a silent prayer of thanks when he allowed me to lead him to the house.
I closed the door behind us with a loud click and the empty house seemed the perfect setting for us to thrash out the problems that had landed on
us from a great height all at once.
'Give me your truck keys.' He said quietly and my heart jumped to my throat.
'Edward, please don't leave me.'
He looked at me and a frisson of tenderness flickered in his eyes 'I'm just going to bring the bags in, I'm dying to get out of this suit.'

Oh thank God!
He came back and handed me my bag, suggesting that we both get changed and I was only too happy to oblige. He used Charlie's room while I
undressed in mine. Tears pricked my eyes when I removed the underwear I had so eagerly bought.
Dressed in Jeans and a simple T shirt I joined him in the kitchen and he was wearing a similar outfit. I made coffee in silence and then finally sat
down at the table beside him.
'Do you want to be with Jasper?' He asked, blowing on his coffee. He looked tense and a little defeated.
'What? No!' I hadn't expected this 'Why would you think that?'
'The two of you were locked in a bathroom in the middle of your dad's wedding and you came out all creased up and with red marks all over your
shoulders and neck!'
'If you're accusing me of something, just come out and say it!' I couldn't keep the anger from my voice.
'I don't know what to think anymore Bella, all I know is you've been confiding in him, sharing private things with him and I really feel like I don't
know you at all.'
'I haven't been confiding in him,' I said remembering his accusation from earlier 'I've been confiding in Alice!'
His head snapped up 'Alice?'
'Yes! She suggested the books, took me for the wax..' I couldn't believe that I would still blush about that.
'Why? Why do you need those books, why do you need to change?'
'I thought you understood why,' I cried in frustration 'I want to be normal, I want to be able to express myself, in every way, I want to be able to open
my heart and body and let someone in.'
 'Someone!' He muttered.
'Edward,' I gasped 'this is all for you, it's only ever been for you.'
'You haven't shared any of it with me..'
'How can you say that?' My voice was rising in frustration now 'I've trusted you so much and shared so much with you, I could never do that with
anyone else.'
'That was just sex Bella.'
His words stung me and I couldn't avoid the sob that bubbled from my throat 'Maybe to you! But I have nothing to go on here, I don't have your
wealth of experience.'
'That's right!' He snorted bitterly 'Now we're getting to it. It's time you opened your eyes and saw what everybody else can see!'
'Which is?'
'That I'm no good for you Bella, everyone else can see it why can't you?'
'You keep saying everybody else, when it's really only Jasper that's making a big deal out of it. What could you have done that's so bad?' I hissed
'Have you ever hit a woman?'
His eyes hardened, he was insulted by the question 'No!'
'And you've never had a relationship, so you can't have cheated.' I mused 'What else is there?'
There was a beat of silence and his whole demeanour changed, he stared at his hands and it seemed like he was suddenly breathing a little
harder. Eventually his eyes closed and he began to speak.
'There is something I should have told you about.' He said quietly 'Jasper knows about it but I think he never told you because I had already
moved in by the time he found out,' he shrugged 'plus Alice is the one I talked to about the whole thing after it happened and she can be very
persuasive, she begged him to stay out of it.' He sighed 'I thought she'd convinced him I wasn't any threat to you.'
'Why didn't he tell me today?'
'I think he would have..'
'If you hadn't hit him!'
He had the good grace to look guilty. 'What did you do?' I asked quietly, sure that I didn't really want to know but it felt like he needed to tell me.
'It was a stupid mistake Bella, it was just something that got out of hand, that's why I left Emmett's I didn't want to be that asshole I'd turned into
anymore.' He looked at me but then as if he couldn't bear to his eyes snapped back to his hands 'Since I met you I've felt horrible about it, I just...
'What did you do Edward?'
'It was at one of Emmett's parties,' He stood up, moved to the window and turned his back to me. 'I was really off my face, there was all sorts of
drugs floating around and I thought what the hell,' his shoulders sagged 'It was the first and last time. Anyway, I'm standing drinking and talking when
this girl drags me up to dance, she's rubbing herself all over me and her hands are everywhere. She pushes me down into a chair and starts giving
me a lap dance.'
'People start to notice, it starts off as a joke, a couple of condoms get thrown at us and the usual shouts of -get a room- strike up.' He shakes his
head but still doesn't turn around 'She starts getting all frisky and opens the condom, by now there's a little crowd gathering egging her on and she's
rooting around in my pants. I was so wasted, I didn't do anything to stop her, I was still laughing. Then she pulls my dick out, and starts rubbing me
and shit and I'm laughing at her, thinking it's all a big joke, but they're egging her on and she makes a big show of rolling on the condom then she
starts pulling her panties off and the next thing I know I'm having sex with her on the floor with a baying mob at my back.'
I felt sick listening to it and wanted to stop him but I was too shocked to think straight.
'Then I look at her and just as I think 'what the fuck am I doing?' I notice she's crying, she's fucking lying there crying and I'm...' He stopped briefly.
'Emmett pulls me up, she runs off and I'm so out of it I burst out fucking laughing.'
'What h-happened to her?'
'Emmett was fucking furious, he made me go talk to her, even though I was in no fit state. I can barely remember what I said, it was Emmett who
fucking apologised to her not me.'
'Did you see her again after that?'
He turned to face me, his eyes were dark and hollow and his face a mask of self loathing 'I went to her apartment a couple of days later, she was
still pretty upset about it, but more with herself than me. I apologised to her properly, and we just put it down to being too wasted. I knew I had to get
out of Emmett's I was partying all the time and that was my wake up call!'
My expression seemed to register and his eyes widened 'Say something.' He muttered.
'I don't know what to say.' I could feel tears pricking my eyes, I couldn't get the horrible image of him doing that out of my head.
He sighed 'So now you know!'
Yes I did and I wished more than anything I didn't. I felt sick to my stomach at the thought of what he'd done, what they'd done. Did people really
do stuff like that at parties? I couldn't look at him.
'I do.' I said quietly my eyes focussed on the floor.
'Bella, you deserve better, you should open your eyes and see me for what I am, can you see now that I'm no good for you?'
Horrible images were playing in my head and I just wanted to be alone, to sort through my feelings. 'I can't see anything right now.' I sighed 'I think
I just need to go to bed.'
I heard his long shaky breath 'Okay, I'll call a cab.' He moved to the phone.
'No!' I gasped, taking myself by surprise 'Don't go, stay here, you can sleep in my room, I'll take Charlie's.' I looked at him then 'Please, Edward,
just give me tonight to think about this and we'll talk tomorrow.'
'Bella,' he groaned 'there's nothing to talk about, I don't fit in your world, your dad had me pegged from the start,' he clenched his teeth 'your best
friend hates me. You should be with someone who'll love and respect you Bella. Someone who knows how to treat you right.'
'You've always respected me.' I said quietly 'Please Edward, just give me tonight to think and we can talk in the morning.'
'It won't change anything.'
'Please!'
He nodded slowly. 'Okay.'
'Thank you.' I whispered and left him there.
Even though it was still early I was so tired I dragged my weary body up to Charlie's room and collapsed sobbing onto his bed, so much had
happened today and all I wanted was for sleep to claim me and to wake up and find it had been a nightmare.
Sleep did claim me but what seemed like moments later the telephone woke me. I flew downstairs to answer it.
'Hello?' I croaked.
'Were you sleeping?' It was Charlie.
'Yes!' I said glancing at the clock, it was only ten pm.
'I guess it was a long day, huh, did you talk to Jasper?'
And then it hit me, everything that had happened came flooding back and I looked around at my surroundings, the house was in darkness.
Edward was gone!
'Dad, I'll talk to you when you get back, I'm really sorry about everything that happened,' I said desperate to get him off the phone 'you and Sue
have a wonderful time..'
'Bella, I just wanted to check...'
'Dad, I'm fine, I'm just tired, I just want to get back to sleep.'
'Oh, okay,' he sighed 'if you're sure. But I want you back in Forks as soon as Sue and I get home, you have a lot of explaining to do!'
'Goodbye dad!'
I hung up and checked the living room before taking the stairs two at a time, my bedroom was empty and I sagged on to the bed and sighed. I
should have known he would bolt first chance he got. I lay back and thought about what he'd told me but now that he was gone it didn't seem such a
huge deal.
Sure I didn't like the idea of it and it was a horrible story, but it was a mistake, he felt ashamed of himself. If he was the heartless bastard he kept
trying to paint himself as he wouldn't care what he'd done, he wouldn't have gone to find that girl to apologise.
Again I was assaulted by an image of two people lying on a floor together, while others watched, it seemed so seedy and degrading. I had no
idea of knowing if that kind of thing happened a lot, maybe there were people that liked doing that kind of thing, but from Edward's words I knew, he
wasn't one of them. He'd simply been stupid and wreckless and he was trying to turn his life around.
 We were the same, two people trying to change, trying to move away from the past and find a better way to be in the future. He'd only ever been
good to me, who was I to deny him the chance to prove that he wasn't what Jasper said he was?
I lay there for a long time mulling it all over in my head but all I could see was the Edward that had been so patient with me. The Edward who had
never taken advantage of me and made me feel so alive in ways that I'd never thought possible. I couldn't imagine my life without him and no matter
what horrible images came into my head, I didn't recognise that guy on the floor, he was not my Edward.
Every which way I looked at it, I kept coming back to the same thing; I loved him and what he'd done in the past couldn't change that. I had to get
to him to tell him. I had to tell him I love him and hopefully he would see that nothing mattered more than that.
I leapt off the bed and switched on the light to get my things ready and that's when I noticed his bag was still there, I stared at it for a long moment
puzzled. My heart flipped.
He's still here!
I bolted downstairs and opened the front door and there he was sitting on the porch drinking one of Charlie's beers. He turned to look in my
direction but his eyes never lifted to my face.
'Sorry, about not answering the phone,' he said quietly 'I had a feeling it might be your dad.'
'What are you doing out here?' I asked stepping out and hugging my arms to my waist.
'I didn't feel right sitting in your dad's kitchen and I couldn't face being in your bedroom. I could hear you crying.'
'Come inside.' I begged.
He stood up and followed me into the house slowly.
I led him into the living room, switched on the lamp and gestured for him to sit down. He chose the chair so I sat on the sofa. He didn't look at me.
'I've been thinking about what you told me.' I said 'and it doesn't matter.'
His head jerked up 'Of course it matters.'
I shook my head and kept my eyes trained on his 'It's in the past. You've moved on so I'm not going to dwell on it, it's none of my concern. And it's
certainly none of Jasper's.'
'Bella, stop being so fucking naive, even your dad can see I'm no good for you why can't you?'
'Because it's not true!' I yelled ' Because I can see YOU! Not just some caricature made up of the things you've done!' I hissed standing up 'I won't
lie to you, I don't like the things you've done but I don't know that guy. That's not who you are anymore,' he opened his mouth to speak 'I love you!
Even though I know these things, I love you!'
His mouth gaped and I guessed it was because he finally realised that even though I knew everything I was still here, still wanting him. 'I'm not
right..'
'I love you!' I moved closer.
'Bella,' he warned 'You don't kno...'
'I love you!' I was right in front of him looking down at him and loving the rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights look on his face.
'You can't mea...'
'I love you!' I was practically shouting now as I slid onto his lap 'Edward, nothing you say will change that! I love you!' I wound my arms around his
neck and pulled his face close to mine so that our eyes were level, 'That's how I feel about you and I'm going to keep on telling you, the only thing
that will make me stop is if you tell me you don't want me.' My eyes searched his 'Tell me you don't want me!'
His eyes burned into mine and he swallowed hard 'I can't!' He growled.
'I'm yours!' I sobbed 'I don't want anyone else, I never have, I love you so much Edward, you're everything to me!' I cupped his face 'There's
nothing standing in our way, I promise you!'
'Bella, I can't do this, it's just not..'
'Why?' I challenged.
'I just can't!'
'Why?'
He flipped me off his lap and stood up, rubbing his hands furiously down his face.
'Edward, tell me why!' He didn't answer, I was becoming desperate I knew we were so close and I couldn't bear to lose it now, I had to keep
pushing him. 'Why?' I shouted!
'Because I'm scared!' He roared and there was a long silence between us he was breathing heavily and he blew out a few sharp breaths before
he continued 'the way I feel about you scares the shit out of me, okay? I'm scared that I won't be able to make you happy, that I won't be enough for
you , that I'll fuck it up and I can't bear... I can't...'
I flew into his arms, kissing his face wildly, clinging to him like a limpet while I told him over and over that I loved him. He restrained me eventually
and held my face in both his hands 'How can you so sure of your feelings?' He accused 'it feels like you are running blindly into this, you know the
truth now and you heard all the stuff Jasper said today, haven't you even considered that he might be right?'
I shook my head 'No, because I know he's wrong.'
He sighed 'That's what I'm talking about; you are just blindly trusting me.'
I touched his face 'You never push me, you never take anything from me, you always give. You stop whenever I need you to.' I smiled gently
looking directly into his eyes 'You have always been so considerate, you took me to see East of Eden, even though you knew you'd hate it. You
brought me Jane Austen Dvd's, because you knew I would enjoy them. You were kind and considerate and thoughtful, you did those things for me
purely because you wanted to. I was putty in your hands then and you didn't take advantage.'
I kissed his chin 'I'm pretty sure, you could have charmed me into doing anything with you if you'd wanted, but you didn't.' I lifted his hand to my
lips and kissed his fingers 'That's how I know, he's wrong. That's how I know you're wrong! You are good for me Edward!'
He held me so tight I could hardly breathe but I didn't care, all that mattered was that he was here and we were finally getting to the root of things.
We were hitting the bottom and now we could start to rise to the surface, together.
'I want you to tell me everything you've been thinking tonight.' I whispered.
He nodded and picking me up he carried me to the sofa, where he sat down keeping me in his arms.
'When I met you, I thought you were so adorable and I only agreed to the whole arrangement thing because I thought you would back out within
days!' He kissed my head 'but the more I got to know you the more I admired you and the more I fell for you, that's when the problems started.'
'Why? You seemed so self assured.'
He chuckled wryly and it was like music to my ears, he was coming back to me. 'I've never felt this way about anyone, I've never cared, never
wanted to please someone and it makes me feel vulnerable.' he raked his fingers through his hair and sighed sharply 'I've been numb my whole life
till I met you and I don't know what to do with this.' He squeezed me 'I'm so sorry Bella, I've been avoiding you all week because I've never let anyone
in before and I didn't think .. God! I still don't think I can give you what you want, I'm scared that you'll leave and I honestly don't know how I'd live
without you!' He sucked in a long shaky breath 'I don't want to go back to how I was before but I'm finding it hard to see a future with you, Bella, I'm
no good for you!'
'How can you keep saying that?' I said gently 'You've never been anything but good to me.'
He held me for a long time, stroking my hair gently while I listened to the steady thump of his heart. I knew he was thinking over everything I'd
said, just as I had done earlier. Every now and then he would sigh and squeeze me tighter, he was warring with himself and, though it was so very
hard, I waited patiently.
He had to come to this himself. Eventually he tilted my chin up so I was facing him.
'I've never had a relationship Bella, I don't do it, let's not sugar coat this, I treat women like shit! I don't care about any of them,' He looked down at
me 'You saw what I was doing in the shower this morning,' I nodded 'well I have the same emotional connection with that shower as I had with any
woman I have ever been with. They were there to get me off! That's all!'
I didn't want to think of him being with other women anymore but I understood his need to vent. 'Am I just here to get you off?' I knew the answer
but he needed to admit it to himself.
'No never!' He gasped 'Never!' He pressed his lips to mine 'God Bella, you've taken me to the moon and back and I haven't even... We haven't ...'
'Made love!' I finished for him.
He groaned and his head sagged back on the sofa 'I've never made love to anyone.'
That pleased me. Greatly!
I was tired but I had never felt so exhilarated before, he was finally letting me in. 'You seemed disturbed by me reading those books.' I ventured
wanting to dig the last worm out of the can.
'I'm not used to feeling jealous.' He nodded 'I was worried, I thought maybe Jasper had given them to you, I've never trusted him,' the harshness
returned to his voice 'you guys were insanely close, I've never understood your relationship,I really thought you were telling him everything and he
was setting you up, thinking you would find out about my past and go running to him with all the horny stuff you'd imbibed from them.'
'And then there's Jacob,' He continued, taking me by surprise, surely he wasn't jealous of Jacob? 'he phoned and you're thanking him and then
telling me you went to him when you needed a friend.' His fingers rooted through my hair as he leaned his head on mine 'did you go to him after you
had the fight with Jasper?'
'I couldn't go to Alice!'
'You could have come to me!'
I sat up and looked him in the eye 'Could I?' I raised an eyebrow 'You wouldn't have gone round there and punched his lights out? Besides, you
had an important exam, you didn't need this.'
He groaned 'God I regret leaving you every time I did this week, when you told me you loved me the other night, I completely freaked, I couldn't
believe that you meant it. But the fact you said it floored me.' He raised his head and looked at me 'No-one's ever told me they loved me before. I've
never given anyone reason to love me.'
'When did I tell you?' I gasped.
He leaned forward and his gaze was heated 'That night you drank all my champagne,' there was a tiny flicker of amusement in his eye 'You yelled
it out when you came!'
My hands flew to my mouth and my blood raced to my cheeks 'Really?'
He nodded 'I'm so ashamed, how I handled it, I chose to ignore it, when we should have talked about it then. But it just scared me, I still don't
know how I'll do.'
'That makes two of us.' I smiled 'I don't know what I'm doing either but it feels so good to be with you, and you don't have to give me a reason to
love you.' I pressed myself against him. 'I love you just for being you Edward Cullen, and I want you so much.' I slid my hand up his chest and looked
at him through my lashes, I swallowed hard 'I want you to make love to me tonight.'
His eyes bugged and he gripped my hand 'No.' He choked out and I pulled my hand away, stung.
'Bella,' He said 'I'm not rejecting you, I just think we need to go back to the start.'
I frowned 'I don't understand.'
He gripped my hands in his 'I know we've had two false starts already, but I really think we should do this properly,' he kissed my cheek softly 'I
said it before but now that we know where we stand, I want to do this in the right order, I want to take you out, I want to share things with you.' He
hugged me 'I want to take it slowly, do it right.'
I pouted and he grinned. 'It's not so long ago you were telling me you wanted to wait till you were married and now you're reading dirty books and
giving blow jobs to bananas.'
I groaned with mortification 'It was something Alice said as a joke and when I was drunk it seemed like a good idea,' I stole a glance at him 'but
for what it's worth I was thinking of you the whole time.'
He chuckled, almost all of his tension was gone now 'Sometimes you are just the cutest funniest person I've ever met. How could I resist you?'
'Just sometimes?'
He kissed me deeply and wrapped his arms around me 'I want to try to make this work.'
Tears filled my eyes and then he pressed his lips to my ear and murmured 'Tonight, I'm going to make you come and then we'll fall asleep in each
other's arms. You won't be deprived, but I won't make love to you.' He sucked my earlobe into his mouth 'Yet!'
He pulled back and cupped my face in his hands 'One more thing,' He smiled and his eyes were shining 'I love you too.'
Thank GOD! Surely they can have some fun now? Can Edward really stand NOT to make love to her? And poor Alice, let's not
forget about her, is it over?
Thanks for reading! And another thanks to the people who added this to fav and alerts, there's a little button down there, press it
and let me know why please! Have a good day!
Chapter 29
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
I wasn't going to update till tomorrow, but those of you who have been talking to me on here and twitter this week will know I am
having major issues with my writing. I haven't written a decent word all week. Maybe I'll be inspired again if I post this, because your
reviews are so wonderful and seriously motivate me.
I'm dedicating this chapter to Grandma Bruzas. RIP.
I woke up alone and disorientated until my eyes focussed and I realised I was in Forks, all memories from the day before came flooding back
and I groaned and then smiled and then frowned and then smiled, and so it went on.
I deeply regretted that everything had blown up during Charlie's wedding but I couldn't regret the outcome, well not all of it. I was desperately sorry
for what had happened between Alice and Jasper and I feared they might never overcome it but my main concern was Edward.
We'd talked long into the night and he'd told me his story, none of it mattered to me but I listened anyway because I knew he needed to lay it all
on the table. I didn't like the thought of him having sex with so many women or the way he'd gone about it, but I had never been one to dwell on
things that couldn't be changed. He had given me no reason not to trust him and the more I got to know him, the more sure I was he never would.
But I hadn't known him when he was like that, the Edward I knew was sexy, smart, funny and above all caring and considerate. Was it so bad that
he had been a bit of a hell raiser in his time? He hadn't murdered anyone! I suspected the extreme reaction he had elicited from Jasper was more
to do with Jasper's opinion of me than his opinion of Edward. The same could be said for Jacob's assumption that Edward would not be a good
boyfriend for me.
If it wasn't me who was the potential girlfriend, I doubt they would have raised an eyebrow. I knew how they viewed me, sweet little Bella Swan, so
innocent and pure and vulnerable. A few months ago that might have been true but only Edward really knew me, only Edward had allowed me to be
myself and to grow without trying to stick a label on me.
I smiled to myself my mind drifting to Edward, he'd got some things wrong of course, but nobody was perfect. I knew I certainly wasn't but he had
gotten so much right and I only hoped that I could help him become the person he wanted to be just as he was doing for me.
I closed my eyes and pretended to be asleep as I heard his footsteps approach, he was whistling and the delicious scent of coffee tickled my
nose before he even entered the room. I fought to keep the smile from my face.
'Either you're having a wonderful dream, or your pretending to be asleep,' He chuckled and I heard him lay something on the nightstand 'and not
making a very good job of it!'
I opened one eye 'Spoilsport, you were meant to kiss me awake.'
He grinned 'Well, I'm not a mind reader, but if you close your eyes I'll do it now.' I sat up and refused to close my eyes 'So stubborn.' He murmured
as he leaned over me and kissed me briefly. 'Now eat your breakfast.'
He lifted the tray he had brought in with him and laid it on my lap before sitting down beside me, 'French toast!' I said grabbing a slice and biting
into it but then I grimaced.
'What?' He asked noticing my reaction.
'You put sugar in it!' I said dropping the slice back onto the plate.
'I brought some syrup up as well.' He offered.
'I like my French toast with salt.' I said and it was his turn to grimace
'Sounds disgusting!' He said biting off almost half of the slice I had rejected. He grinned at me as he chewed 'Want me to make you something
else?'
I shook my head 'The coffee will do me, I'll grab some cereal later.'
'You sure, I can bring you up a banana if you want!' He stifled a laugh and I hit him with my pillow.
Later I was standing at the kitchen window staring at Jasper's car. He was right next door and yet he might as well have been on the other side of
the world. Alice was probably back in Seattle by now and I felt guilty that I was so happy while she was so miserable.
'So are you going to give me a tour of your childhood haunts?' Edward said coming up behind me.
'Jasper's still here.' I said quietly.
He sighed and I slid has arm around me and it meant a lot to me that he would comfort me when he was probably still mad at Jasper.
'Are you going over to see him?' He asked, his words were slightly stilted belying the relaxed attitude he was trying to convey.
 I shook my head 'No, this is mainly between him and Alice, I don't want to speak to him until after he has explained himself to Alice.'
His hand tightened slightly on my shoulder and he turned me round 'You know you didn't go into any specifics about what happened between you
two yesterday.'
This time there was no hint of accusation in his tone but there was more than a little apprehension in his eyes. I had been so preoccupied in
getting as much out of Edward as I could that I hadn't realised I had failed to reassure him about that.
'He was very drunk, I've never seen him like that,' I shook my head 'I mean I've seen him very drunk, but I've never seen him so... tortured.' I
touched his chest 'Promise me you won't get angry?' His jaw tensed 'Edward, you already hit him, if I'm going to tell you the truth you need to
promise me that you'll let me handle this.'
'I can promise I'll try.' He offered 'But you're worrying me, what did he do to you?'
'He didn't do anything, Edward, he tried to kiss me,' I ignored his hiss 'and he told me he wants me...'
'That fucker! Didn't he think about Alice in all this?' His fists balled at his sides 'He fucking lives with her, and then he's at your dad's wedding
trying to... to.. fuck you in the restroom.'
'Don't say it like that!' I was sharply reminded of his past exploits and though we had sorted through all that I didn't want him accusing Jasper and
I of it. 'He only tried to kiss me.'
'Only?' He shouted 'What if I 'only' tried to kiss someone, how would you feel?'
I sighed thinking of Alice 'You're right, I didn't mean to belittle how much it will hurt Alice, but I just don't think he would have gone that far.'
His eyes narrowed 'Hmm, I guess we'll have to agree to disagree on that.' I bristled and he touched my cheek 'Bella, I know you stopped him and
I trust you completely, it's him I don't trust.' He sighed 'I know you and Jasper have a bond and I know you are missing him, so I won't stand in your
way when the time comes for you to sort this out. But please, promise me you will be honest with me and tell me everything, I don't think I could
stand to be kept in the dark again.'
'I promise.' I smiled.
'Good.' He said and kissed the tip of my nose, but none of his intensity was lost.
My thoughts turned to Alice again, she was the one I wanted to see most but I had to respect her wishes.
'Will you go and see Alice today?' I asked looking up at him and he nodded 'She'll be so upset.' I felt the rawness bubble in my throat again but I
turned away from the window.
I cleaned up the kitchen while Edward carried our bags out to the truck, then I locked the house up and walked slowly to the drivers side. Edward
held his hand out, 'Maybe I should drive?'I nodded and dropped the keys into his palm.
As he backed out of the drive I couldn't help but stare at the tree house and I was glad when he swung the truck around and we headed away
from Forks.
We had travelled a couple of miles before Edward struck up a conversation 'I think there's still some things we need to talk about.' He said
without taking his eyes from the road.
'Like what?'
'Well for starters,' he slid a sidelong glance at me 'it really doesn't bother you about my past?'
'No,' I said truthfully 'I mean, I don't like to think of you being with other women because if I do it makes me jealous. But you did those things, me
worrying about them won't change the past, but it could change our future if we let it.' I looked out the window 'I just want this to be about us, nothing
else matters.'
I turned towards him 'Although, I did want to ask you about something?' He looked at me briefly and nodded 'Did you try dating Lauren?'
He sighed 'Yes and no.'
'What does that mean?'
'Emmett was really into Rosalie, they'd had a couple of dates and then all of a sudden she starts holding him to ransom, saying she won't go out
with him again unless it's a double date and I go out with her friend.'
'So you did it for Emmett?'
'Not the first time.' He admitted 'I mean I just thought, it's one date, it can't hurt.'
'But you told me you'd never been on a date.'
He chuckled 'Not a proper date. We went to the bar, you know the one Jacob sang in. We sat at a table drinking all night..'
 'And then you had sex with her.' I was probably a very vivid shade of green by now, despite my efforts not to get jealous.
'Yes.' He said simply 'The second date was harder, Emmett and I have been friends for years and I saw the way he was with Rosalie,' he
chuckled 'like a big fucking teddy bear, I'd never seen him so happy. I started to think maybe I could achieve that too. So I went on the second date, I
tried, I listened to her, I tried to be nice to her but my heart wasn't in it.'
We were on the freeway now and I rolled my window down to let some cool air in.
'The experience with Lauren just confirmed what I'd suspected all along; that I can't do relationships.'
'But you can.' I stated.
'I can try.' He corrected.
I rolled my eyes but decided not to contradict him.
He snaked his hand across the seat between us and squeezed my knee 'I've really enjoyed being with you but sometimes I worry that I forget
myself. Sometimes I say things and...'
I smiled and slid across the seat so I was pressed against him 'I like it,' I whispered resting my head on his shoulder 'I like when you lose control
a little and you say those things,' I was a little nervous about admitting it but I felt like I could tell him anything 'I don't know why it has that effect on
me, but when you say..um..dirty...words and let me know what you like doing.. it makes it better for me.'
He threw his arm around my shoulder 'Bella, you are just one little bundle of surprises.' He chuckled.
'It's your fault,' I said snuggling into his side 'You bring out that side of me!'
He all but growled 'I can't wait to explore that side of you.'
We arrived home just after lunchtime, the phone was ringing when we arrived at the apartment. It was Charlie.
'I tried calling the house,' He said 'I must have just missed you. Did you get home okay?'
'Dad, you called my apartment and I answered the phone, so I think it's safe to assume I got home okay.'
'You sound in a better mood.' He pointed out.
'I had a good night's sleep.' I blushed when Edward waggled his eyebrows at me. He mouthed that he was going to Alice's and then blew me a
kiss before leaving.
'Hmm, okay, well Sue and I are just going on a boat ride,' I could hear the smile in his voice but all too soon it was gone as he added 'I'll call you
next week and let you know when we'll be home and I expect you to be there.'
'I will, but only to visit.' I insisted.
His breath huffed down the line 'Bella I don't want you living in that apartment alone with him.'

Not you as well! His name is EDWARD!

'Enjoy your honeymoon, dad, I'll see you next week.'
He muttered something unintelligible before saying goodbye. I sat on the couch and immediately started worrying about Alice.
EPOV
I walked slowly to Alice's, racking my brains, I was never very good at this supportive stuff. I knew she'd be hurting thanks to that asshole
boyfriend of hers but what the fuck could I say to make it any better? She'd do it for me though, of that I was sure, if there was one person I could
count on in life it was Alice. It had always been Alice.
It had been a hell of a twenty four hours, I'd never been so honest in my life before, not even with myself and it was not a pleasant feeling. The only
thing that kept me from bolting was the fact that it made Bella so happy, I'd never met anyone so in tune with their feelings. She was so scared of
being prejudged that it was the last thing she would do to someone else, she was willing to judge me solely on how I treated her and that was a gift
to me. A rare fucking gift! I doubted I would meet anyone else in this lifetime who would give me that! And I didn't need to, she was all I wanted.
My steps faltered as I reached Alice's house, I would be far more at home if I knew it was that fucker who was here, that I could handle! It would
be so easy to confront the prick but to confront Alice's pain was a far more daunting prospect.
My reluctant finger stabbed the bell and perhaps subconsciously I turned my back to the door. I heard the door open and I forced myself to face
her.
Dear God!
This wasn't Alice, this was a hollow shell of the wonderful girl who had become more than my cousin, in my mind she was my sister. Sure she'd
been disapproving like everyone else at one point in her life but she was the one person in my formative years who had stopped and listened and
tried to understand. I loved that glint in her eye, that appetite for life that she held, that sheer confidence and self assurance that no one else seemed
to possess. But none of that was evident today.
I looked forlornly at this creature before me, red eyed, wet nosed and broken, this was not Alice.
I fucking hate that prick!
She said nothing she turned away and disappeared into her house, to my shame, I said nothing either, what could I say?
I closed the door with an ominous click, took a deep breath and ventured into the living room, she was facing the window, her back to me.
'I don't want to talk about it.' She said quietly.
That threw me, Alice was the type, who analysed everthing, scared of nothing, she liked to get it all out into the open. She was nosey by nature,
liked to know every detail of everybody's life, this was not her style. At all!
I crossed the room and placed my hands on her shoulders, she stiffened but I turned her round anyway 'Alice, it's me,' I whispered pulling her into
my arms 'let it out.'
Words were unnecessary she crumbled into my embrace and her sobs fuelled my anger, I held it back, concealed it as best as I could and
simply held her while she spewed out her anguish. Finally it wasn't enough for her and she spoke 'I don't think I've ever got anything so wrong in my
life.' She whimpered. 'I could see it all, I thought he was the love of my life, I could see marriage and babies,' she pulled back and rubbed furiously at
her tears 'I've never felt a connection like this before, despite her.'
I bristled at the way she said 'her' this wasn't Bella's fault. She must have noticed because she stepped out of my embrace.
'I'm sorry, I don't blame her, but it's very hard not to feel...' She left the sentence open. 'Did she go to him today?'
'Did he call you today?' I asked irked, but then her hurt expression had me backtracking, I had to remember it was him I was mad at.
I shook my head, she glanced at me and I could practically read her mind 'Not because of me,' I sighed 'Maybe I would have tried to stop her for
my own selfish ends,' I admitted 'but she didn't want to, she's waiting till you've seen him first. She knows it's you he needs to come to first.'
Alice nodded, imperceptibly placated. 'It's a strange relationship they have.' She mused 'When I met him, it was the first thing he mentioned; that
he had this very close female friend and didn't want me to feel threatened by her.'
'Didn't that set the alarm bells ringing?' I asked the most obvious question.
She shook her head 'I can see where you're coming from, but he was so sincere, like he wanted to be honest from the start.' Her eyes filled up
again 'He was so... so.. I can't believe that it wasn't real.'
This is where Bella would defend him. I won't do it.
'It wasn't until he moved in here he started to obsess over her,' she snapped out of her melancholy and started talking with more purpose 'I
thought it was because of you living there, he's very respectful of women and he just couldn't handle the way you were with them. But then he started
to put her on this pedestal, as if you weren't fit to shine her shoes. As if I wasn't fit to shine her shoes!'
I couldn't hold back any longer 'Why the fuck are you torturing yourself Alice?' I snapped 'He hated me before I even moved in because he was
jealous of our relationship, now he's trying to get Bella to ...'
'Don't!' She whispered and turned to the window again. 'You don't know what he was like with me,' her shoulders sagged 'remember when you
and I were growing up, we had tongues wagging, because you were so wild and I was the only one who could talk you down? Do you remember the
disapproval, the judgement, the interference from people who didn't undersand?'
'That was different we were kids, and there was no question of anything like this!'
'Maybe it's the same for them.' She mused.
I was horrified 'You can't believe that, Alice, I never stood in your way with any of your boyfriends and you never... well you never stopped me!'
'This is new to them. You know Bella's never had a boyfriend, he's never had to cope with these feelings.'
'So you're taking him back,' I sighed throwing myself down on the couch 'Despite the fact he made a move on Bella?'
She whirled 'Did he?'
Shit!
I didn't want to hurt her any more than she already was but I'd said it now 'Yes, he told her he wants her.'
Her face crumpled and fresh tears spilled down her cheeks, I shot off the couch and pulled her into my arms I held her while she cried. it could
have been minutes it could have been hours, I had no idea but I just held her till she was finally emotionally spent.
 When she was reduced to a sopping wet pile of sniffles I handed her some tissues and she dabbed at her face before blowing her nose. We sat
on the sofa.
'What about you and Bella?' She asked dabbing at her nose 'Are you okay?'
I nodded 'We talked everything through.'
'That's good,' she sighed 'at least it hasn't ruined your relationship too.' She offered me coffee and I accepted because I knew it was driven by
her need to be doing something. 'Have you told her you love her yet?' She enquired, her back to me and my mouth dropped open.
She turned and smiled weakly, 'Oh Edward, don't look so surprised, I know you, in fact I think I knew before you did. So did you tell her?'
I nodded.
'Good.' She said and turned back to the task at hand.
I wanted to talk to her about the books and stuff but there would be plenty of time for that, the last thing she needed tonight was to feel as if she'd
done something wrong. Her shoulders started to shake again and I placed my hands on them.
'Alice, I don't know what to say to you,' I whispered through gritted teeth, I wanted to offer to go back to Forks and kick ten colours of shit out of
him 'he doesn't deserve your tears.'
She swiped furiously at her tears and nodded 'Would you mind if we don't have coffee?' she asked looking up at me through watery eyes 'I think I
just want to be by myself for a while.'
My initial reaction was relief, I was out of my depth here, but then I thought of all the times Alice had been there for me when we were growing up
and shame washed over me. 'If you're sure,' I said pulling her into my arms 'I can stay, we don't have to talk,' I wiggled my shoulder at her 'you can
have this to cry on all night.'
She giggled and it sounded like the tinkling of a wind chime 'No, thanks Edward but I really need to be alone.'
I kissed her head and then she walked me to the door, I checked again before I left but she was resolute so I finally walked home to Bella.
As I walked some of the tension from the last twenty four hours started to dissipate and for the first time I thought of Bella without apprehension. I
felt my love for her without apprehension and suddenly my pace quickened, I couldn't wait to see her again, even though I'd left her only hours
before.
I'd been wrong about everything and yet I'd never been happier to find myself wrong. The one and only tiny blot on my landscape was that I still
worried that I wouldn't be enough for her, that I wouldn't be able to sustain this level of... fuck! I can't think of one word that adequately describes our
connection.
I let myself into the apartment and I smelled the pungent aroma of garlic and my mouth watered, she was singing to herself in the kitchen and I
followed the wonderful sound of her voice. She looked up, her cheeks were delicately flushed and her eyes shining.
Oh fuck! How have I managed NOT to make love to you!
She came out of the kitchen 'How was Alice?' She asked and the first flush of her joy in seeing me was gone, replaced by her concern for Alice.
'She wants to be alone.' I answered evading the specifics.
'Does she hate me?'
'God no!' I said taking her hand 'Nobody could ever hate you Bella,' I rubbed my thumb across her knuckles affectionately 'she's just really hurting
and I think seeing you would just remind her of him.'
Her shoulders sagged 'Does she hate Jasper?'
I felt myself stiffen but I tried to hide it, she glanced at me and I knew I hadn't succeeded 'No.' I said and she raised her eyebrows at my harsh
tone 'I'm sorry Bella, but she should fucking hate him!'
She sighed but then nodded 'Let's not argue about it.' She squeezed my hand 'Dinner's ready.'
We talked while we ate dinner, keeping the conversation strictly on neutral ground. After dinner we worked in tandem clearing up and doing the
dishes and the new dynamic between us amazed me. I was enjoying her company on a whole new level. I loved the way she trailed her hand across
my back if she was squeezing past me in the tight space, in fact a couple of times she rubbed against me so shamelessly I couldn't believe it wasn't
on purpose. I had to force myself not to grab her.
As she rinsed the glasses I looked out the window, it was a lovely evening 'Let's go for a walk.' I suggested, maybe I could cool off if we were
outside the apartment
She turned, one eyebrow quirked 'Why?'
Because all I want to do is bend you over that counter and take you!
 I chuckled 'Because it's a nice evening and I want to take my girlfriend out.' The word girlfriend seemed to hang in the air between us but as I
watched her eyes light up it thrilled me too.
'I'm your girlfriend?' She said quietly a ghost of a smile playing on her delectable mouth.
'My one and only!' I grinned pulling her to me and kissing her. I loved the way she melted into my embrace. Her hand snaked into my hair and she
pressed her body against mine. I hardened instantly, it was killing me, not having her but for the first time in my life, I wanted it to be special. I
wanted it to mean something and I wanted us both to be on the same wavelength when it happened.
I wanted her so badly but I also wanted to give this a proper chance, I couldn't slip, I couldn't fall into old habits. It all had to be new. In terms of
relationships, I was a virgin too. She'd opened her heart to me last night and it touched me in ways I'd never thought possible, she'd silenced me
with her proclamations of love and she'd coaxed my own out of me. I couldn't fuck this up.
I believed her now, but I still felt that I had to prove that I was worthy of that love.
I released her and her cheeks were glowing and her eyes glassy, I loved the effect I had on her and for good measure I pressed my erection
against her to let her know the effect she was having on me.
'Do we have to go out?' She pouted.
I slapped her ass gently 'Go get your jacket.'
She giggled and practically skipped to her room.
I watched her ass as she did.

Fuck! What I wouldn't give to bend you over the sofa and...
The learning curve would be steep
a/n Like I said I am having major trouble with this so I don't know when my next update will be but the story WILL be finished I
wouldn't leave you hanging! I might wake up tomorrow bursting with ideas and post again, but I seriously doubt it. Anyway, THANKS
for the AWESOME amount of reviews and I now have 299 alerts and 267 favourites. I am loving the response to this. I NEED 299
reviews for this chapter, good, bad or indifferent, I don't care I just need something to go on. Help me out guys! Lol!
Chapter 30
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Another week of non writing! *GROAN* well, not this story anyway. 2 posts in one week is the least I've ever done. I don't like it.
I am trying to get it back, it will come but I'm not the most patient person.
Hope this is okay.
BPOV
He surprised me by hailing the first cab we saw, it stopped and he grabbed my hand and pulled me towards it.
'I thought we were going for a walk?' I said as I slid onto the seat beside him.
'We are,' he smiled 'But I thought we could walk along the waterfront.'
I grinned as he told the cab driver where to take us, a romantic walk along the waterfront, how very un-Edward.
He was right it was a beautiful evening, the sun, glowing crimson, was slipping slowly towards the horizon casting a warm pink hue on everything.
Edward paid the cab and took my hand, I liked it and told him so. It seemed he was not the only person to have thought of this idea as my eyes
wandered along the pathways and decking I spotted lots of couples walking arm in arm, hand in hand, enjoying each other.
I smiled at Edward and felt a fierce stab of pride, he was by far the most handsome man here and he was with me.
The salty air was still warm despite the breeze coming in off the water.
'Do you want an ice cream?' Edward asked.
I shook my head 'Perhaps after our walk, we could go for a drink?' I suggested eyeing the Bistro restaurant we were passing.
We walked hand in hand enjoying the balmy evening, I was so happy, everything seemed better. The flowers were more colourful, the setting sun
more beautiful and the salty tang of the breeze more pleasing to my nose. Being in love, reciprocated love, had given me this whole new
perspective on the world; it was suddenly a far nicer place to be living in.
After a while he pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. The sun had all but disappeared and there was a chill in the air that was
beginning to see off the other walkers whose numbers were diminishing by the minute.
'There's something that's been on my mind this afternoon.' He said quietly and judging by his expression I doubted I would like it. 'I think maybe I
should move out.'
My mouth popped open and I inhaled sharply 'Why?' I managed to choke out.
He reached out and trapped a thick ribbon of my hair between his thumb and forefinger and started to twirl it as he tugged me gently closer
'Because I can hardly keep my hands off you Bella, and I want us to do this properly.'
'Are you saying you don't want to touch me anymore?' I pouted.
He frowned 'No, I'm saying the opposite, I want you so much Bella,' He wound his arms around my waist and pulled me flush to him 'I can't
imagine staying in that apartment with you now and not sleeping with you every night,' his voice became huskier 'I can't imagine not wanting to kiss
you and touch you and make love to you every minute of every day if we live together and it's too much!'
His words left me feeling a strange mix of delight and disappointment, I brushed my hands up his arms loving the feeling of his soft hair springing
up beneath my fingers 'I don't want you to move out Edward, I like having you around, I don't want another roommate,' I look up at him shyly 'and
besides there are ways we can stave off the...um.. tension.'
He looked at me confused and I continue 'Well, you've been.. um...looking after yourself mostly up till now,' I swallowed 'I could do the same.' I
closed my eyes briefly and then they flew open at the sound of his low groan.
'Do you really think that I could stay in my own room every night, knowing that you're in yours,' he leaned forward and pressed his lips to my ears
at the same time as his growing erection pressed into my belly 'playing with your beautiful little pussy?' My eyes rolled back as I felt the wetness
pool between my legs, he pulled back and chuckled staring down at me 'you really do like it when I talk like that don't you?'
I nodded as my cheeks flamed and felt the loss when he stepped back abruptly. 'Let's go for that drink.'
The matter hadn't been resolved and as much as I wanted to continue the conversation, I was afraid to in case he insisted on moving out. I'd have
to find a way to convince him not to. I gripped his hand as he strode back the way we had come.
We arrived at the Bistro which was now quite full, we found a table but unfortunately it was in the middle of the room and didn't afford us much
privacy. The bar was busy and I stared at Edward standing in line, I couldn't keep the grin from spreading across my lips as I admired his rear view.
He turned and caught me and when he winked my insides clenched and I wished he'd taken me straight home instead of here.
 The room was large and richly furnished with heavy mahogany tables and cherry leather sofas which match the wooden half panelling that
adorned the red brick walls. The atmosphere as well as the decor was very relaxed and informal and I was glad since I was wearing my old jeans
and a plain white t-shirt. A long row of floor to ceiling windows broke up the main wall and through the burgundy drapes I watched as the boats
bobbed languidly on the water outside. I turned my attention back to Edward.
He walked towards me carrying a beer and a glass of wine, smiling the whole time and I couldn't take my eyes off him.
'Checking me out at the bar?' He teased sliding on to the sofa beside me. I was pleasantly surprised, I expected him to sit opposite me.
'A girl can look.' I smiled taking a sip of my wine. 'Since I'm not allowed to touch any more.'
He threw his arm across the back of the sofa and pressed closer 'You don't make this easy for me Bella.'
'I just don't understand why we have to go back to square one, I mean, I get why we have to start dating properly, but I honestly don't think I can
have a near platonic relationship with you.'
He toyed with my hair again as he spoke 'That's why I think I should move out, I don't want to ...'
I sighed exasperated and perhaps unreasonably part of me longed for the Edward who possessed a lot less morals than this. 'Can't we just
combine the two; keep the physical aspect going the way it is and just do stuff that normal couples do?'
'I don't know what normal couples do.' He said quietly.
I smiled 'Well, being open about their relationship in public for a start.' I said pecking him on the cheek. 'Dating, spending time with each other's
family and friends.'
He rolled his eyes 'Yes, that will be easy because your dad and your best friend just love me!'

' I love you!' I said 'and once my dad gets to know you, he'll accept you no problem.'
He looked doubtful but he took my hand in his and kissed it.
'Don't leave me,' I whispered moving closer 'stay at the apartment, we don't have to sleep together every night, although occasionally would be
nice. You'll be starting your internship after the summer so I won't see a lot of you anyway.'
He stared at me long and hard as his fingers traced the contours of my face 'You have me completely wound round your little finger Bella Swan.'
I smiled 'Take me home.'
'Drink your wine.' He countered.
I grumbled 'I guess I'll just have to learn to be as unaffected by you as you are by me.'
He slid his hand along his thigh and then tapped my leg with his little finger 'Give me your hand.' He whispered.
I lowered my hand and he enveloped it in his before pulling it into his lap, my eyes popped open when I felt the throb of his erection beneath my
fingers.
'Unaffected?' He asked, one eyebrow quirked.
We made out like teenagers in the back of the cab, I fought hard to stifle my groans since we were in close proximity of the driver, by the time we
got back to the apartment I was a limpid pool of wanton jelly in Edwards arms.
We crashed through the door and he pressed me up against the wall 'Jesus, Bella!' He rasped 'who's fucking idea was it to take things slowly?'
'Yours!' I moaned between kisses.
He gripped my upper arms and his forehead dropped to mine, his heart was hammering in his chest and his breath was wonderfully huffing
against my face. 'I want your first time to be special Bella, I mean it!'
'It'll be with the only person I've ever loved,' I sighed 'how much more special do you want it?'
His lips slid across my cheekbone, down jaw and then sucked gently on my neck 'Trust me, women want a first time they can look back on
fondly.'
I pulled back and stared at him 'What was your first time like?'
'I was sixteen I got drunk, I fumbled around and we fucked.' He said brutally, the memory clearly pouring ice on his ardour.
'Was she a virgin?' I asked, not sure why, but I wanted to know.
'Hardly,' he snorted 'She was my best friend's mother!'
 I was gobsmacked 'You lost your virginity to Emmett's mother?'
He laughed loudly 'No! If you knew Emmett's mother, you'd know why I am laughing.' He chuckled again 'She's built like a line backer, that's
where Emmett get's it, and she'd crush me like a bug if I even looked at her with a glint in my eye.' He shook his head 'Which I wouldn't, just so you
know!'
'Okay,' I said sliding my hands between us, I was delighted to find him still hard 'no virginity taking tonight, but we can fool around for a while?' I
asked hopefully.
'Fool around?' He chuckled as I pulled him into my bedroom.
His lips found mine again and I sighed when he traced my bottom lip with his tongue, he sucked it into his mouth and nibbled it gently.
God! How can one tiny action have my whole body singing with pleasure?
I slipped my fingers underneath his shirt and pulled, he released my lip and stepped back. A small smile played on his lips as his eyes scorched
mine, I swallowed hard as the material slid up past his chest and he pulled it the rest of the way off. I dragged my eyes away from his and looked
down at his chest, I pressed my lips to the soft hair at the base of his throat.
He smelled divine and I slid lower licking his warm skin as I did, I reached his nipple and traced it with my tongue before tugging on it gently with
my teeth. His sharp his and the way his fingers bit into my shoulders thrilled me, I was going on instinct alone now and I felt pride burst through me
that I could please him like this.
My fingers drifted down over his abs until they were desperately pulling at the fastening on his jeans, his fingers circled my wrists 'Bella!' He
hissed. But I kept going and his grip loosened as I began to tug his jeans down, it seemed like the most natural thing in the world to drop to my
knees as I slid the denim down his legs. He tried to stop me.
'Iet me undress you' I whispered as I pulled his shoes off and he stepped out of his jeans.
I slid my hands up his calves and then gloried in the feeling of his muscular thighs, then I was at the juncture and I looked up at him. A muscle was
working furiously in his jaw and his breathing was heavy, the implication of my position was not lost on me and I looked down again, and it was right
there, right in front of me. And I wanted to taste it.
My heart started to beat faster as I pulled down his boxers and he sprung free, he groaned and one hand curled around the nape of my neck. He
pulled gently as if he wanted me to stand. 'No.' I said quietly as I leaned forward and kissed his rigid shaft.
A myriad of emotions washed over me, excitement, arousal and maybe even a little fear. But I wasn't repulsed by this at all, this was me loving
him, I actually wanted to do it. I wanted to give him pleasure, take ownership of that and his glorious body. I shuffled closer and gripped his base, he
jerked in my hand and whispered my name, it was utterly empowering.
Not sure if I was doing it right I traced my tongue up the underside and inhaled the spicy musky scent of his arousal, I knew I had reached the
most sensitive part at his tip when his fingers tightened in my hair and he jerked again. I pressed my lips there and then I was so nervous a tiny
giggle bubbled in my throat.
'You're thinking of the banana!' He rasped and I glanced up to see a tiny flicker of amusement in his burning eyes, it was enough to dispel my
tension. The amusement in his eyes didn't stay long though and he tried again to pull me up but I wasn't having that.
I opened my mouth and his loud groan brought one from my own throat as I let him slide slowly into my mouth. His fingers were still in my hair but
he didn't move as I closed my lips around him and took more of him in. I slid my hand up his thigh feeling his taut muscles constrict beneath my
fingers as I curled them and held on.
I started to suck softly and the sounds he began to make were the most arousing I'd ever heard, giving me the courage to go on and fuelling my
own desire. I sucked my way back up his length until he was almost out of my mouth and then increasing the suction I worked my way back down
again.
His fingers were massaging my neck 'You don't have to do this,' He groaned 'are you okay?'
'Mmm hmm!' I murmured affirmatively around him and his head jerked back and his hips flexed.
Oh! He likes that!
I hummed again and was rewarded with the same thrilling reaction. I was in complete control and contrary to what I initially thought about this act,
it was not degrading at all. This was me loving him, giving him pleasure with my body and I had never felt stronger. The rasping of his breaths,
trembling of his knees and glorious gasping groans were all because of me, I was doing this to him, I was making him feel all kinds of wonderful
and nothing had ever pleased me more.
'Use your tongue.' He rasped gently.
I swirled it around his tip, I was moving faster and harder now and his fingers were tightening in my hair while his hips bucked gently every now
and again, if it was possible I was sure I could feel him swelling in my mouth. Eventually though, he gasped and with an almighty effort drew himself
out of my mouth. 'Stop!' he gasped, only his breath escaped, his voice was nonexistent.
I looked up at him confused, his eyes were two bright emeralds scorched into the taught landscape of his tense face. Veins were pulsing in his
neck as his fingers encouraged me to stand.
'What's wrong?' I asked as he enveloped me in his arms and pressed his forehead to mine.
He was still gasping slightly when he answered 'I was about to come.'
My heart skipped a beat and my insides clenched violently at the thought that I had almost made it 'Why did you stop me, I wanted you to?' I
wasn't sure what to expect at all but I had wanted to take him over the edge, to give him what he had given me so many times.
He seemed surprised but his lips covered mine and he plunged his tongue into my mouth and the question was swept away in a cloud of need.
'One of us is wearing too many clothes.' He accused 'and it's not me!'
I smiled and he kissed his way down my neck as his fingers dragged my top up my body, he pulled his head back and my top was off quickly
followed by my bra and then at last my breast was in the warm cocoon of his mouth.
I removed the rest of my clothes as he lavished attention on both breasts and as soon as I was completely naked his hand dipped between my
legs and my loud groan reverberated around the room as he plunged a finger inside me.
'You like that baby, don't you?' He murmured against my breasts.
'I want you,' I hissed writhing beneath him 'I want you to make love to me, Edward, please!'
My legs were wide and I was trying desperately to pull him over me but he was stubborn and wouldn't budge. He removed his finger and shuffled
up my body, both hands were in my hair and his eyes roamed my face. I closed my eyes.
'Bella, look at me.' He said softly. I did. 'You have no idea, how much I want you right now, but I want it to be special more.'
I sighed, my intensity evaporating, 'Edward, this all feels special, if we make love right now it would be special to me,' I hated the desperation in
my voice but I'd never wanted anything more 'I don't need you to take me to a fancy restaurant and ply me with wine first, you don't have to take me
to a fancy hotel or anything like that, I want to do it right here in my bed. Right now!'
He chuckled 'Always so impatient.'
'I'm being serious,' I groused 'I don't need you to dress this up, it's special the way it is, I would rather have spontaneity than you filling the room
with flowers or lighting a hundred candles.'
His eyebrow quirked 'You've just vetoed all my best ideas.'
I saw the truth in his expression and groaned 'I'm sorry, were you really going to do that.'
'Well it does sound a bit cheesy now that you mention it, but yes, I had some plans.'
I groaned again and he bent and dropped a quick kiss on my lips 'You're right, spontaneity would be better, but there does need to be some level
of planning.' It was my eyebrow that quirked this time and he understood its question. 'Protection for a start, I'm guessing you don't have any
condoms in here. It would be a bit of a mood killer having to run back to my room for some in the middle of everything.'
'I'm on the pill.'
'Really?' His eyes were wide 'Since when?'
'A couple of weeks.' I blushed and he grinned at me. 'Um, would it be okay for us to do it without condoms?' I asked still blushing. I didn't want
anything between us my first time but I still had some concerns.
'Doesn't it tell you on the packet when it's safe?' He was propped on his elbow looking down at me now and it struck me that the slight
uncomfortable feeling that was creeping over me had nothing to do with our nakedness, I was completely at ease lying naked beside him.
It was something else that was bothering me and I didn't want to offend him but I had to ask. I'd just had him in my mouth and it hadn't occurred to
me and I was sure there was nothing to worry about, but his mention of condoms had set me thinking 'Have you always used condoms?'
'Of course,' He insisted 'I didn't want to risk some random girl coming up to me and telling me she was having my kid.'
That was not a pleasant thought 'So you've never done it without one?'
'Well, sure there was a couple of times I was so trashed I can't remember and' He looked a little shame faced 'there were times if it hadn't been
for the girl I might have forgotten.' He glanced at me and apparently noticing my embarrassment asked 'Why?'
'I..um... I...well, condoms don't just protect against pregnancy.' I muttered.
'Oh!'
'You're not offended are you?'
He smiled but his eyes held a trace of bitterness 'I have no right to be offended, my reputation precedes me yet again!' his voice was a little tight
'but you have nothing to worry about, I'm completely disease free.' He tried to inject a little humour into the last part but failed miserably.
'I'm sorry.' I said cupping his face.
'No,' he covered my hand 'don't be, you were right to bring it up.'
The mood was gone now and he lay on his back and pulled me into the crook of his arm. I lay listening to the steady beat of his heart.
'Can I ask you something else?' I said skimming my hand across his skin and tickling his soft trail of hair, the tip of his penis was just below my
fingers, he was still hard.
'Sure.' He answered cautiously.
'Can we never mention bananas again?'
He chuckled and rolled onto his side before trapping my mouth with his, his kiss was strong and needy and then he pressed his lips to my
temple.
'We should take a shower.' He murmured pressing his erection purposefully against my hip.
a/n Thanks so much for the tons of reviews I'm getting, please keep them coming and if you've never reviewed before but have me
on alert or favourite, please say hi, I don't bite.
The sexy stuff is coming soon, I have no problems with that, it's the plot in between that is presenting problems, your reviews help
so if you can review, do it.
Oh and I got rec'd on a blog, which is probably a tiny thing but means LOADS to my fragile ego.
Chapter 31
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
This update is in celebration of me reaching 700 reviews! I am so happy and THANK YOU to everyone who has added to that
number. There will be a big plea for more at the end.
As you know I've been having bother with this story but thanks to a review by Emily93 I realised where the block was coming from;
Edward and Bella were just too desperate to get it on they wouldn't let me write anything else.
I woke up in Edward's bed naked and alone and, at first, a little disorientated, but then the fog of sleep started to disperse and details from last
night started to replay in my mind bringing a wide smile to my face. I could still feel his hands on me, his tongue in my mouth, on my skin, between
my legs. Oh God! Every muscle in my body clenched in desire as I thought about his tongue there, I would never get tired of that.
He'd carried me, rather unnecessarily, to the shower and playfully dumped me in it before turning on the water. His mood didn't stay playful for
long and I discovered how much he liked to come in the shower, I wasn't averse to it myself. After everything he'd said I was happy he wrapped me
in his arms and let me spend the night in his bed.
I wished he was here now. I got out of bed and in the absence of having anything to wear I pulled one of his sweatshirts out of his drawer and
threw it on. I padded out into the living room but he wasn't there, the kitchen was empty too and by the time I checked the bathroom I already knew
he wasn't in. Even though I knew he wouldn't be in my bedroom I still checked; empty.
I knew that, since his exams were finished, he didn't have any classes today and I distinctly remembered him grumbling when I said that I had
some this afternoon. I had assumed he wanted to spend some time with me.
I checked the kitchen and living room again but found no notes or clues to his whereabouts and I paced the hallway a little trying not to panic,
what if this was another one of his avoidance manoeuvres, what if he doesn't really want to make love to me after all?
Wound like a spring I went to my room, fully intending to get dressed but then my eyes fell on the piano and I was hit by the urge to play. Playing
piano always relaxed me and I needed it now, as sure as I was of my feelings for Edward there was still a tiny seed that he didn't feel as strongly for
me as he claimed and at this moment in time that seed was threatening to take root and bloom into a horrible mass of doubt.
I sat on the stool as I had done many many times before and waited for a tune to come to me, I began to play and it was sombre like my mood, I
had often played Chopin's Prelude in E Minor, my mother taught me it and the only reason I could stand to play it was that she had come to hate it.
To this day I still don't know why she suddenly refused to let me play it any more but after I went to live with Charlie I played it often. I hadn't played it
in years.
The front door opened and I stopped, Edward appeared in the doorway, 'You're up?'
'You're back.' I countered.
He smiled but gave no explanation to where he had been 'Don't stop, I could hear you as I was coming down the hall, I love it when you play.'
I turned to face him and my mood brightened, he was wearing a black v neck T shirt, his hair was wild and his chin unshaven. His eyes were like
two glittering emeralds as they focussed on me and his lips spread into a wide grin revealing his slightly imperfect row of pearl white teeth. My heart
quickened.
My eyes dropped to the bag in his hand 'Where were you?'
'I had to run a little errand I was hoping to get back before you woke up. Are you hungry?'
I shook my head, not for food.
I turned back to the piano and started to play again but this time I played a country song, I couldn't recall the name of it but I had learned it for
Charlie when he got sick of my classical tunes. Edward chuckled as he came up behind me.
'You're tastes are very diverse.' I could feel his breath whisper against the crown of my head.
'I learned lots of different tunes,' I said still playing 'I used to spend hours every day playing,' I smiled 'I think it drove Charlie up the wall most of the
time but he never said anything.' I switched tunes again.
'You're very talented,' His lips were sensuously close to my ear and I could feel the heat from his body on my back 'and you look hot in my
sweatshirt.' My fingers stalled on the keys 'Don't stop.' He breathed as his fingers fluttered like butterfly wings on my naked thigh.
I felt his hands on my hips and stalled again when he gently lifted me 'Stand up.' He whispered and I did, he moved behind me and when he
pulled me down I was sitting in his denim covered lap. 'Keep playing, please.'
His voice was soft and thick like velvet and I started to doubt that I could coax a tune out of the instrument while I was so intensely aware of him.
He rubbed warm circles into my thighs and my fingers began to move, I must have been playing something good, he seemed to like it and
whispered compliments in my ear as his fingers explored my naked skin.
 He slid his hands over my knees and back towards me over my inner thighs, forcing my legs gently wider as he did. I felt myself get wet as his
talented fingers swirled and smoothed up beneath the sweatshirt and I groaned as he deliberately avoided all the parts I needed him to touch most.
'You're not playing.' He accused.
I sighed with a smile as I forced my fingers to move, he rewarded me with a soft brush of his thumb over my nipple. His lips were just as eager as
his fingers as he peppered my neck with sweet kisses. I sagged back against him but didn't stop playing and I groaned as he kneaded both of my
breasts in his warm palms, my nipples hardened and he nibbled gently on my neck.
One hand stayed on my breast while the other slid lower and in violent contrast to his ministrations so far, he swirled his fingers quickly over my
clitoris before plunging two fingers inside me. 'Oh!' I gasped and my hands dropped from the ivories and gripped his forearm.
'Does it feel good?' He murmured, his other hand was pulling the sweatshirt higher and I helped him free my arms from the sleeves, his fingers
never left me as I pulled it over my head, leaving me completely naked while he was fully clothed.
Play time was over, he eased his fingers out and gripped my hips with both hands 'Turn around, let me look at you.' He breathed.
I stood up and he turned me, my eyes fell to his and they were gratifyingly hooded as they raked over my naked form. He reached around me and
closed the piano lid before pulling me onto his lap, my knees spread at either side of his hips. I was completely exposed to him as he gently tilted
me backwards until my elbows were resting on the smooth curve of the piano lid and his face was hovering over my breasts.
'Edward!' I gasped as he blew on my nipple and traced his fingers up my inner thighs. He blew on my other nipple as his thumbs rubbed gently
on my lower lips.
'Jesus Bella,' he rasped 'your skin is so soft.' He lowered his head and flicked his tongue over one nipple and I clenched and watched rapt as his
soft full lips closed over my quivering breast and he sucked hard.
'Oh Edward, that feels good!' I yelped as my head fell back heavily against the piano, I felt no pain though, there was far too much pleasure at
play here.
He released my nipple and lapped it softly before circling his arm under my back and pulling me up so we were face to face. 'You look and taste
amazing Bella, I'm going to take you to bed now.'
My heart immediately started hammering in my chest as the implication of his words hit me. My eyebrows lifted and he grinned seductively
standing up and carrying me to the bed, 'I can't wait any longer Bella, I fell asleep wanting you last night and when I woke this morning it was still
there.'
He lay me down and I felt a stab of self consciousness as he stood staring down at me. My hands fluttered at my side as I fought the urge to
cover myself up. It was ridiculous he'd just devoured me with his eyes moments ago but the way he was looking at me now I felt like he could see
into my very soul.
He started to unbutton his shirt slowly 'Open your legs,' he murmured and I squeezed them tighter squirming with arousal before complying
'wider.' I did as he asked and the delicious glint of arousal in his eyes pleased me and I relaxed as my knees dropped wide. He stared at me and
his arousal was straining against his jeans 'Your pussy looks delicious.' He groaned. My insides flexed.
He removed his shirt and then unbuttoned his jeans, he popped the first three buttons and I sat up reaching out to him 'I love this!' I breathed
touching the soft trail of hair I looked up at him and his face was a picture of lust and pride mixed with a little humour. He let me play there for a while
before he dropped his jeans to the floor and asked me to lie back down. I did and his boxers followed his jeans.
He stooped and dipped his hands into the bag he'd brought in with him and pulled out a small bottle which he lay on the nightstand 'This is
massage oil, I thought we could start with that, the more relaxed you are the better it will be for you,' he rooted in the bag again and pulled out a
small bunch of flowers that looked like pretty pink daisies 'I got these, you know, just in case you are the romantic type but don't know it.' he smiled
but his cheeks were definitely a little pink as he produced a candle and lit the wick, I inhaled the sweet scent of the flowers as I watched him drip the
wax directly onto the nightstand and then stick the candle in it. He looked at me with the unmistakable glint of amusement in his eyes 'I thought one
wouldn't hurt.'
'I love it.' I breathed, endeared by his obvious discomfort and his efforts to lighten the mood.
He blew out a long breath and kneeled beside the bed 'I just want to make this good for you Bella,' he frowned slightly 'but I'm in unchartered
territory here, it's never mattered before, you'll tell me if I'm moving too fast or you want me to stop?'
I gripped his face in my hands and pulled him to me, I had no words for him so I kissed him with all the passion I could muster and he climbed
onto the bed and stretched himself over my body.
He returned my kiss with equal fervour and I was enjoying the feel of his weight on me when he pulled away 'Roll over.' He demanded gently.
I pressed my stomach into the bed and rested my cheek on my hands, he took the oil and I heard him rub his hands together, presumably to
warm it, and then he lifted my leg into his lap and started massaging the oil into my calf. His fingers were slick and warm and felt wonderful as he
lavished attention on each leg, working his way upwards achingly slowly. He took his time as he skimmed over my buttocks and smeared the oil
over my heated flesh.
His thumbs worked in circles, firmly massaging as they went and I quivered in anticipation as they slid deeper down between my legs. He didn't
have to ask this time, my legs opened willingly and one thumb smoothed down my lips and dipped briefly inside me. I sucked in a sharp breath but
his hands left me and then I felt oil drizzle on my back before he started working there.
He repositioned himself and I could feel the hard warmth of his penis against my crevice, he was teasing me as his hands worked their magic
across my shoulders.
'Edward?' I mumbled against my wrists.
'Hmm?'
'This isn't relaxing me.'
He stopped 'Isn't it?'
'No, you're not touching me enough where I want you to touch me and it's making me tense.'
He chuckled 'I'm not done yet.'
I groaned in complaint.
'Roll over.' He whispered and when I did he lifted my ankle and when I opened my mouth to protest he grinned 'Just kidding.'
He crawled up my body and I gasped when he forced my legs open and sat between them, his legs curled around my hips and the base of his
erection was pressed against my wet core, the tip stood proudly between us. He started on my neck and smoothed the oil down over my breasts,
rolling my nipples between his thumb and fingers before pulling me up and capturing one in his mouth.
This is more like it!
I ground against him and he groaned 'Stop that!' He hissed playfully.
He shifted position so he was on his knees between my legs and his tongue lapped down my body as he rubbed lazy circles into my hips and
thighs, he moved lower and dipped his shoulders beneath my knees before fixing his eyes on mine. I was wound tighter than ever as his mouth was
poised above me and then his tongue darted out and he gave me one long lick right along my folds.
'Oh!' A high moan emanated from my throat and my eyes rolled back in my head.
He repeated the motion several times and then his mouth closed over me and his tongue danced over my clitoris. He pushed two fingers inside
me, they filled me completely and my pleasure intensified. He moaned against my skin and my hips bucked at the sweet ecstasy of it. I could feel
my orgasm building and I knew I was straining for it but I needed to come, I needed to come for him so he would give me what I'd wanted for what
felt like such a long time now.
His fingers pistoned inside me as his teeth nipped at me and his lips sucked the orgasm from within me. His fingers bit into my buttocks as I
came down from my high.
'Are you relaxed now?' He smiled.
I fisted my fingers in his hair 'Almost.'
He growled and crawled up my body, lapping my skin en route and then he settled between my legs, I could feel his tip twitching gently against
my thigh. He kissed me thoroughly and then nibbled my ear lobe 'Are you sure?'
I pulled his head up so he had to look at me 'I want you so much Edward.'
His head dropped into the crook of my neck briefly before he slid up my body and putting his hand between us positioned himself right where he
needed to be. His lips dropped to mine as I felt him gently push himself into me.
God! It was so tight and the stretching sensation was hot and painful my breathing was short and sharp, he stilled slightly and broke the kiss.
'You okay baby?'
I looked up at him, his eyes were shining but his jaw was tense, I could see that little muscle working furiously. I nodded, I didn't want him to stop, I
never wanted him to stop.
He drew back slightly and when he pushed back in he went a little further until my breathing alerted him again to my discomfort 'I'm okay.' I
promised and he slowly slid in further.
'Fuck Bella,' He groaned 'You're so tight and wet, this won't last long, baby.'
He pulled almost all the way out and this time when he slid in fully I felt the first bolt of pleasure and groaned. 'That's it baby,' his groans matched
mine 'Oh, it's so good,' his lips were pressed to my ear and I fisted one hand in his hair while the other clutched at his back 'so good.'
He was thrusting now, I could still feel the stretching sensation but it was easing and the pleasure was taking over. His eyes met mine and I had
never loved him more as he fought to keep them trained on mine but every now and then they would roll back. His pace increased, I held him tighter,
he kissed me hard and then his lips blazed across my cheek and to my ear.
'I love you!' He gasped over and over and I was saying it too.
His hands dropped to my hips and he drove into me deeper and the pain wasn't enough to matter, all that mattered was that I had never felt this
much love in my heart, this close to anyone physically or emotionally and I never wanted it to end.
His groans grew louder and both my hands were in his hair as his lips brushed the shell of my ear 'God Bella, I'm coming!' His hips bucked
erratically and I could feel him swelling inside me as the low moan in his throat turned into a shout and heat filled me as he poured himself into me.
His breathing was laboured, he plunged his fingers into my hair and tilted my head before capturing my lips with his, his kiss was fierce yet loving
and a tiny bead of sweat dripped from his forehead onto mine. 'Jesus, I never knew it could be like that!'
And I smiled.
Epov
My heart was hammering in my chest, I'd never felt anything like this.
Fuck she's so tight!
But it wasn't just that, it was everything, it was the way my heart felt full like it was brimming and I just wanted to keep telling her. It was the sound
of her moans and gasps, the smell of her skin in my nostrils, the sheer fucking pleasure of being with her like this. Making love with her, sharing
something that neither of us had felt before.
I tried to take it slow, make it good for her but I couldn't, I was so fucking excited, so turned on and she was so goddamn beautiful staring into my
eyes, I couldn't hold on. I couldn't stop my hips from thrusting harder and faster and then I couldn't stop the explosion and I shouted her name as the
most intense orgasm of my life ripped through me.
I kissed her hard loving the feeling of her skin against mine slick with my sweat, she was trembling. 'Jesus, I never knew it could be like that!' I
gasped and I felt her smile against my cheek.
I pulled back and looked at her 'Did I hurt you?'
The smile never wavered and she shook her head.
I knew it was a tall order to make her come on her first time but I still felt a little bit like a selfish asshole, the humour of that hit me and I chuckled,
I'd never cared before.
I don't even fucking know if I've ever given anyone an orgasm with my dick.
Her hand smoothed across my brow and I glanced down at her face, her cheeks were gloriously pink and her mouth soft and moist and begging
to be kissed again and because I could, I did.
'It was perfect.' She whispered when I let her come up for air. 'I love you, Edward.'
'I love you too.' I smiled and I couldn't stop. I didn't recognise myself any more, I'd never been into this hearts and flowers shit and I'd never really
believed it was possible to feel so much for one person you'd never want to be with anybody else. But here I was a big goofy sap, probably pulling
out every cliché there is and loving every minute of it.
She pressed her lips to my chest and I knew I would have to pull out of her body but I didn't want to. Nature took care of that though when I moved
to pull her to me and I slipped out. I smiled as we both uttered the exact same disappointed moan.
I held her until her stomach growled.
I propped the pillows up behind us and she sat up and pulled the cover up over her breasts, I wanted to ask her not to cover herself but I didn't. I
leaned over and pulled out two paper bags and two cartons of orange juice from my earlier shopping expedition.
She giggled 'You thought of everything.' She took the bagel I offered her 'Does making love always make you hungry?'
'I have no idea.' I grinned taking a hearty bite of my own bagel 'This was my first time.'
She swatted my arm 'You know what I mean.'
'I'm serious,' I insisted keeping my tone light 'I don't want to talk about the past right now, just know that this is ALL knew to me.'
I didn't want to tell her that most of the times I'd had sex before, I was usually drunk and I either passed out afterwards or zipped up my flies and
left. I'd never held any of them afterwards, or eaten in bed with them or wanted to even speak. Maybe once, the first time, maybe that day I wanted to
hold her and thank her but she simply patted my cheek and left me dumbfounded and wholly unsatisfied.
No I wouldn't tell her any of that, it was gone, I liked this. I fucking loved this!
'How do you feel?' I asked as I chewed.
 She rested her head back against the headboard and sighed, I watched transfixed as a slow smile crept across her face and then she tilted her
head and looked at me 'Relaxed.'
I grinned like a fool.
'It was so nice.' She continued.
'Nice?' I was taken aback I'd expected wonderful or maybe amazing but nice?
She smirked 'Awesome?' Her hand slid down my body and she absently stroked my hair, what was it some women called it? A happy trail?
Christ, when she did that it certainly made me feel all kinds of happy. My dick twitched a little too!
'I was worried it would be too sore and I'd do something wrong or that I'd feel guilty. But it felt so good,' she beamed at me and blushed 'I can't do
it justice, I can't describe how much I loved it, how much I love you.' She lifted her juice 'Will it always be that good?'
'I'm hoping it will be better.'
She frowned 'Wasn't it good for you?'
'No!.. I mean yes, it was amazing Bella, Jesus, don't ever doubt that,' I hugged her closer 'but it was your first time and it was fast and basic and
even though it was pretty fucking perfect, it will be better,' I leaned forward 'the more we do it.'
She sighed and wrapped her lips around her straw and desire arrowed straight to my dick and just with that one innocent act I was hard and
ready to go again. I waited until she finished eating and then I pressed my lips to her shoulder and slowly traced a circle with my tongue. She
shivered, I grinned.
Her eyes swung down to meet mine and I could see the question 'Again?' though her lips never moved and her voice remained silent. I pulled the
sheet down slowly and my fingers toyed with her nipple, she moaned and that was what undid me.
I pounced, I hovered over her and she opened her legs and it was her fingers that pulled me to her and I plunged inside. She winced 'I'm sorry!' I
gasped.
She tilted her hips slightly and then I felt her relax around me , this time I managed to go slower, to slide in and out of her gloriously tight body
again and again, taking my time, feeling every tremble of her body around mine, every sweet whisper of her breath against my face. I wanted to feel
her come and so I eased my fingers between us and stroked her clit softly.
'Oh yes, I like that, Edward, don't stop!'
The sound of my name on her lips spurred me on, I rubbed her with more purpose and my thrusts became harder. She was mewling and sighing
and groaning and it was like the sweetest symphony I'd ever heard. I wanted to wait, I needed to feel her coming but I was so close and it was so
intense that I didn't know if I could hold it.
Her heels were digging into my calves and I tried to focus on that to buy me some time but she was getting louder and she kept moaning my
name 'That's it baby,' I whispered sliding deeper 'feel it, feel me.'
I pushed harder and at last I felt her muscles contract and begin to pulse and it was so fucking good I couldn't hold back my own and our shouts
mingled in the room as she milked my cock and her body accepted every last drop of what mine gave.
We must have slept, I had no idea what time it was when my eyes opened and I slowly became aware of the soft body draped across mine, I
turned and saw the candle had completely burned down, I'd probably ruined her nightstand. I kissed her hair and she sighed.
'You awake?' I asked.
'Yes.' I felt her smile.
She looked up at me resting her chin on my chest 'I missed my classes.' She grinned 'Isn't this just the most perfect day ever?'
'Sure is.' I sighed happily.
'I want to take a bath with you.' She said.
We lingered in the bath, I washed her hair, she washed mine, we soaped every inch of each other's bodies and in the end we had to shower and
I wondered if I would have any spunk left by the time this day was over.
We ate sandwiches and chips for dinner and she lay across my chest as we stared at the mute TV and told each other all sorts of random stories
from our lives.
'I want to take you to meet Esme and Carlisle.' I said suddenly.
Her head rose and she looked at me quizzically 'I've already met them.'
'I know,' I nodded 'but I want to take you there as my girl, I've never done that either.' I kissed the tip of her nose.
 'Okay.' She smiled. 'I'd like that.' Then her eyes dimmed and she frowned.
'What's wrong?'
'I want you to meet Charlie, properly.' She sighed 'But I have to go alone first, after what happened at the wedding, I have to go and explain
everything to him...'
I cut her off 'I'd prefer to explain to him myself, but if you really think it's best that...'
'You would?' It was her turn to cut me off.
I nodded 'He already thinks I'm some no good asshole, I'd rather apologise in person than have you do it for me.'
She sat up fully and raked her fingers through her hair which was all tangled and mussed up and looked hot as hell. 'I guess you're right we'll go
together,' her eyes flicked to mine 'but if Jasper has spoken to Alice by then, I'd like to go see him, while I'm there.'
After the day we'd had I no longer felt threatened by him and I knew the love she showed me was real, but I still hated what he had done to her
and Alice. 'I won't lie to you Bella, I'd prefer it if he just disappeared off the face of the earth, but I know how much he means to you, so if you want to
go see him, I won't stand in your way.'
She pressed her lips to mine 'Let's not talk about Jasper tonight.'
We went back to bed and later as I drifted to sleep my last thought was that, I had been a fool for ever considering moving out, I would give
anything to spend every night with her in my arms like this.
a/n Well was it good for you? Was it a let down?
I REALLY want to know what you think of this chapter! Would it be too greedy to ask that everyone that reads this chapter leave a
review? 'Cause that's what I'm asking, if you've read the story so far and never reviewed now would be a good time to leave one,
even if it's the only one you ever give me. Go on, make my day!
Thanks for reading. x
Chapter 32
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Wow! I owe a big thank you to A LOT of people, I got 83 reviews since my last update! I have had a big fat smile on my face all week.
I tried to reply to as many of you as I could I'm sure I've missed some but there were 83 reviews so please forgive me, I like to reply to
people who take the time to review. It's only fair. I am delighted that you liked the last chapter, I was pretty nervous about it. This one
might not be to everyone's taste.
I've decided to stop begging for reviews, but please don't let that stop you from giving them, I want them just as much if not more
than ever (this sounds suspiciously like begging to me).
Despite everything that had happened I still looked for Jasper when I was in college but he never showed up. If it hadn't been for the hurt he'd
caused Alice I would have gone straight round to his house the day after the wedding and had it out with him, but she was the most important
person in all this and I couldn't in all conscience try to repair the damage he had done to our relationship before he had at least tried to speak to
Alice.
Edward came home on Wednesday night after spending the day with Alice and informed me that she had packed all his stuff and he was due to
come and collect it at the weekend. I didn't blame her but my heart ached for her just as much as my anger burned at Jasper.
This was a strange place to be in, I'd never had cause to feel this way about Jasper, he'd let me down, God, he'd let himself down. For years
we'd been impossibly close, I shared everything with him, he was always there for every trauma, every triumph and yet now when I was finally
discovering who I really was, he was absent.
I felt anger for what he had done but every time I thought of his face, I melted. I'd seen his feelings for Alice, I'd watched as that loving smile had
stretched across his face when he thought of her. I'd witnessed his happiness at finally finding his other half. And yet somehow, somewhere along
the line he'd taken a wrong turning and we'd all suffered as a result.
On Thursday I was sitting alone in the canteen when I received a text, I'd looked for him of course and I couldn't help the stab of disappointment
when I didn't find him, just as I couldn't help the tiny tingle of relief that the text was from him. The text consisted of one word: Sorry. I didn't reply,
though I desperately wanted to, I would contact him after the weekend.
On Friday afternoon I called Jacob and arranged to take my truck round, he was right after all, it had started to make a strange rattling noise and
he told me to bring out round straight away.
When I arrived he was already on the porch waiting for me, a huge blinding white grin on his face and I found myself grinning back. He was like a
faithful puppy, always happy to see you and always able to make you feel better. He got me to scoot over and jumped in beside me taking the
wheel, he drove a block down the road and backed it into a large garage. 'I work from here.' He said turning off the engine.
There were a couple of old car seats sitting in the corner and a rusty old kitchen sink and unit held a kettle and some cups.
'If you have plans I can drive you home and I'll bring the truck over later.' Jacob offered already peering under the hood.
I shook my head 'No I thought I could hang out while you work.'
He grinned 'I was hoping you would say that.' He nodded towards the kettle 'Make yourself useful.'
I smiled and lifted the kettle to check if it had enough water in it.
'So how's things going with you and Edward? He asked leaning over and disappearing beneath the truck's hood .
My thoughts turned to the week we'd just had, we could hardly keep our hands off each other and despite his concerns we'd spent every night
sleeping in the same bed, sometimes his, sometimes mine, but always making love. I felt a familiar throb begin and I had to try hard to hold back all
the moments my lovesick brain was trying to relive.
'That good, huh?' I managed to focus on Jacob and he was looking at me with a mixture of humour and surprise.
This was where I missed Jasper the most, I was really desperate to talk about all of this to someone, I mean, I know it's private and I wouldn't go
into every specific detail but I just wanted to share this new found feeling I had. Jasper used to share this kind of stuff with me, I loved hearing about
it and I had thought that one day I could confide in him.
I smiled at Jacob and blushed 'I'm sorry, I'm just really happy.'
His eyes twinkled 'Yeah I can see that, could you pass me that wrench?' I looked around and found a rusty looking wrench beside me and
handed it to him 'So how did your dad's wedding go?'
I made the coffee and told him what had happened while he worked. Every now and again his head would jerk up and he would look at me wide
eyed. 'He made a pass at you?'
'It wasn't really a pass,' I blushed 'I'm not sure what it was,' I sighed heavily 'the whole thing is a complete mess.'
 'How's Alice taking it?' he pulled something out of the engine and wiped it with a cloth before scowling at it and muttering.
'She's devastated,' I frowned 'I haven't actually seen her, she doesn't want to see me, but Edward goes round every night. She's packed up all
Jasper's stuff.'
He rubbed his oily hands on his jeans and came over to sit on the other chair, he leaned back and took a long sip of his now lukewarm coffee.
'Can't say I blame her.'
I nodded 'It's just so sad, Jacob, he really does love her, I remember what he was like when he first started dating her and then they were so
desperate to move in together.' I ruffled my fingers through my hair 'how could it have gone so sour so quickly?'
He must have detected something in my tone of voice 'You're worried that it won't work out between you and Edward?'
'I wasn't until now.' I admitted.
'You're being totally honest with him now, right?' He asked fixing me with a stern stare and I nodded 'Well then that's all you can do, nobody ever
knows how their relationship will turn out. All you can do is be honest and work at it together.'
I stared at him 'I really wish you could meet someone.' I mused.
He drained his mug 'I have.' He reminded me.
'Someone available.' I pointed out.
He got up and went back to work on the truck 'So Edward decked him?'
I groaned 'Charlie didn't take too kindly to that, he completely took Jasper's side because of it and now he thinks Edward is some kind of rash
punk.'
That seemed to amuse Jacob 'I'm sure once he gets the full story he'll realise, Edward was quite right.'
'I don't think he should have hit Jasper.' I protested.
Jacob's cell phone jingled to life and he straightened up to answer it.
'Hey, dad, what's up?' He listened while Billy spoke 'I'm just finishing up on Bella's truck...yeah, I could pick some up... no, she's here with me
now...wait I'll ask her...' he looked at me 'Dad wants to know if you want to stay and have dinner with us?'
'Yes I'd like that.' I smiled.
'She said yes dad... sure, sure... about an hour?... Okay, see you then.' He snapped the phone shut. 'He seems to like you.'

'He does know we're just friends?' I asked.

Jacob laughed 'I told him your Edward's girl. And just for the record, he really likes Edward too.'
A small ripple of pleasure coursed through me when he referred to me as Edward's girl. 'He's met him?'
'Yeah, Edward helped me with the new ramp, remember?'
'Of course, I forgot about that.'
I made more coffee and switched the radio on and we chatted some more while he worked. Eventually he slammed the hood shut. 'She needs
some new plugs, I can order them in for you.'
'Does that mean I can't drive it?' I asked worried how I'd manage to get to college without my truck.
'No, she'll be fine, I've cleaned the plugs up a little, it'll only take a few days to get the replacements.'
I giggled 'Do you always refer to vehicles in the female tense?'
He nodded 'Sure,' He patted the truck 'I like working on the ladies.'
I laughed then and caught the keys he threw to me. We had to take a quick ride to the grocery store so Jacob could pick up some things for
dinner. While he was in the store I called Edward and told him I was having dinner with Jacob and Billy.
It was just getting dark when we arrived at Jacob's house, he unloaded the bags from the van and led me into the house.
'At last!' Billy smiled 'I thought I was going to have to send Leah down to drag you two out of that workshop!'
Leah was standing behind Billy, she smiled at Jacob but when her eyes swung to me her expression soured. I wasn't used to having that effect
on someone and I can't say I cared for it.
'Hey Leah,' Jacob said lightly and I wondered how he could be so easy around her 'where's Paul?'
 Again that easy tone when inside it must surely be excruciating for him.
'Embry and Sam took him fishing for the weekend,' she glanced at Billy 'Billy called and invited me over for dinner.'
Billy looked the picture of innocence but something in his demeanour seemed to suggest that he was meddling. Jacob turned to me and I was
surprised when his fingers curled beneath the lapels of my jacket and he started pulling it down my shoulders, it seemed such an old fashioned
gesture and I blushed as I wriggled my arms free.
'I'll just hang this up for you.' He said and Billy turned to the kitchen leaving me facing a sullen Leah.
'Hello again.' I said with a tight smile which she didn't return.
She simply nodded and turned to Billy and asked him if he needed any help.
'No, thanks Leah, but Jacob can help me.'
Jacob came back and smiled at me and I could see the first hint of tension when his eyes turned to Leah. I sat down awkwardly on the couch and
she did the same. I had no idea what to say to her and we sat in silence watching Billy and Jacob cook the meal.
'Jacob was working on my truck.' I said eventually, sick of the silence but still kicking myself because it sounded like I was offering her an
explanation for why I was with Jacob today.
'Yeah, Billy said.' She didn't even look in my direction.
She hadn't seemed so ill mannered when I first met her but it seemed she'd had time to develop a resentment towards me. Billy eyed us a few
times and I wondered at his motivations, surely he couldn't be trying to force Leah and Jacob together, Paul was family and even though there were
mitigating circumstances it still seemed highly inappropriate.
When the meal was ready the four of us sat at the table, Billy put me beside Jacob and opposite Leah, leaving me directly in line with her frosty
glare. Billy chatted amiably while he ate and I tried my best to keep up with the conversation but I was too aware of Leah to really do it justice.
After the meal I offered to wash up, Billy tried to say no but I was set on getting away from Leah and having something to do, I stood up and
stacked everyone's plates and took them to the sink.
'Sorry about Leah.'
I started at the sound of Jacob's voice and dropped the dishes into the sink with a deafening clatter. One might even have broke but I turned to
Jacob.
'Did I do something to offend her?'
He blew out a long sigh and rested his hip on the counter 'I guess she just doesn't like seeing me with other girls,' he snorted 'how's that for
irony?'
I rubbed his arm and he pulled away, I frowned, he grinned 'Your hand is wet!'
'Oh!' I smiled and flicked some water at him glad to lighten the mood.
He lingered while I washed the dishes and his mood darkened again and I knew his mind was out there in the living room with her. 'Do you mind
if I ask you something?' I asked and he shrugged non-committally. 'Did your dad invite her here to make her jealous?'
He smiled but it held a bitter edge 'Probably, I know that's kind of fucked up but he knows how we feel about each other and he hates the way
Paul treats Leah and...' He riffles his fingers through his hair '...fuck.. I'm sick of this shit,' His eyes lift and they are so full of sadness and regret that I
go to him and put my arms around him 'I feel like I don't want to love her anymore, it hurts too much.'
I didn't know what to say to him, I could only guess at the level of his misery and I knew nothing I could say would take it away. He hugged me tight
and I knew he was wishing it was her and that was okay, this was all I could give him. He pulled away and smiled sadly at me 'I needed that.'
I smiled back 'I know you did.'
'You know, Edward is one lucky guy!'
His mention of Edward troubled me, was this inappropriate? How would I feel if he was hugging other girls? I'd been the one to tell Jasper that
we shouldn't be so tactile anymore and here I was pressing myself against Jacob.
'Hey,' He said softly dipping his had to look into my eyes 'did I say something wrong?'
I shook my head 'Do you think that maybe I shouldn't hug you, I mean, that's how Jasper and I used to be and look how that ended.'
His laugh surprised me 'You're cute Bella, but I'm not gonna fall in love with you just because you hugged me a couple of times.'
I blushed furiously 'No, that's not what I meant!'
 He laughed harder and it became infectious. Leah stepped into the room and it was like a bucket of cold water had been thrown over us.
'Um.. I just came to say goodbye, I'm gonna head home now.' She said looking at Jacob, I watched transfixed as he stared back and a thousand
silent words seemed to pass between them, he seemed angry at her but longing for her at the same time.
'I should go to.' I said breaking the silence, I turned to Leah 'I can drop you off if you like.'
I didn't really relish the thought of being alone with her but since we were both leaving at the same time I couldn't not offer her a lift.
'No, it's okay, I only live a couple of blocks down.' Her eyes flickered between Jacob and I 'I'm..um...sorry if I seemed a little off tonight, I didn't
mean to be rude.'
I shook my head and waived off her apology.
Jacob saw us both out and I had intended to hurry to the truck to give them some privacy but Leah simply said goodbye and headed off down the
street, I was left standing with Jacob.
He watched her until she turned the corner and then he sighed and turned to me 'Look, I'm really sorry she was off with you tonight I..'
'Jacob, I had a nice time, it was nice of your dad to invite me.'I got into the truck and rolled the window down 'Call me when you have the parts
and I'll bring her over for you.'
I waived and left him grinning on the sidewalk. I turned the corner and was startled to see Leah standing at the side of the road flagging me
down. I chewed nervously on my lip as I pulled over.
She opened the passenger door 'Do you mind?' She asked gesturing to the seat I shook my head , she climbed in and closed the door, I killed
the engine and turned to face her, she spoke first 'What's the deal with you and Jacob?'
I snorted a little at her gall, she'd spent the whole night either ignoring me or glaring at me and now she had the audacity to ask me that. 'You
should talk to Jacob.' I said simply looking out onto the empty street.
'He said you two are just friends,' she said quietly 'but you looked pretty cosy to me.'
I turned then 'Didn't he tell you I have a boyfriend?'
She rose her eyebrow cynically 'Yeah, he said you're with Edward Cullen, no offence but I'd have believed him easier if he'd said you were dating
the pope.' She shook her head and laughed 'Edward fucking Cullen, as if!'
Her rudeness astounded me just as much as it enraged me 'Why did you come tonight?' I challenged.
'Because Billy invited me!'
'And you don't think it's cruel to keep Jacob dangling like this, you know how he feels about you!' Her eyes darkened and her sneer intensified
'You have your husband and yet here you are trying to scare off the competition.'
'You're no competition.' She spat.
'That's right, I'm not! But what if I was? What if Jacob really did like me that way, you'd still do it, you'd still ruin his chance because you want him
there pining for you while you go home to your husband every night.'
'You don't know anything about me, it's none of your business!' She was shouting now.
'No I only know what Jacob told me and what I've seen for myself and you're right it's none of my business, but I like Jacob and I want to see him
happy,' I stared into her eyes 'and you're probably the only person who can help him with that.'
She flinched a little as if my words had physically hit her, then her lip trembled and she was looking out onto the street. I thought she was going to
get out, a couple of times her hands moved to the handle but she never opened the door. Eventually she turned to face me and tears shimmered in
her eyes.
'I have nowhere to go!' She looked so defeated and it was almost as if she was a completely different person 'I can't see a way out.'
'Have you talked to Jacob?'
She shook her head and then seemed to gather herself 'I have to go, I shouldn't have said anything.' And with that she got out and was running
down the street before I could even call her name.
It was just gone nine when I got home, he was sitting shirtless on the sofa watching the game on tv and swigging a beer. I dropped my bag and
jacket on the floor and slid onto his lap, my fingers sifted through his hair and I kissed him hard, his eyebrows rose in surprise briefly before he
groaned and wrapped his free hand around me. His tongue was hot and delicious in my mouth and I sucked it gently as my hands fisted in his hair,
pulling him closer.
'Wow!' He grinned when I finally pulled back for air. 'Hello to you too!'
 I dropped my forehead to his 'I hope we stay like this forever.' I murmured.
His brow furrowed 'What's up?'
I kissed him again gently this time. 'I just spent a really uncomfortable evening with Jacob and Leah,' I murmured feeling the soft strands of his
hair beneath my fingers 'I couldn't bear it if we couldn't be together, I don't know how they can even stand to be around one another.'
He tilted my chin up and his eyes were full of tenderness 'It's their problem, Bella, not yours. They have to work it out for themselves.'
I found myself marvelling at how well he seems to know me, he is right, it isn't my problem and he is right to assume that I would want to help
them. 'I guess I shouldn't interfere.' I smiled sadly.
He nodded and I bent to kiss him again, I tasted the slight bitterness of the beer on his tongue but it didn't matter. His hands gripped my hips and
he pulled me closer into his lap, his erection pressed against me and I moaned into his mouth. I needed him, I wanted him to take away all the
tension I'd felt tonight, to remind me that love can be something good, something that makes you happy.
Our kisses became more fervent, needier and the sexual energy ramped up several notches as his hands slid up and under my top, he cupped
my breasts over the fragile lace of my bra 'Take your top off,' he murmured against my cheek 'I want to see your tits.'
My eyes rolled back in pleasure and his hands left my breasts and started tugging my top. All at once my top was off, my bra followed and his
hands were back, cupping me but leaving my nipples exposed. His eyes burned and his lips spread into a crooked grin 'What do you want me to
do?'
I swallowed 'Touch me.'
'I am touching you.' He pointed out wickedly and I realised he wanted to play. 'tell me specifically what you want me to do..' he paused and licked
his lips '..to you.'
I rubbed against his erection and felt a sweet sense of revenge when he groaned and his fingers squeezed my breasts harder. Quick as a flash
he flipped me onto my back and started furiously working the button on my jeans, his haste thrilled me and my fingers explored his face and hair as
he stripped me, he sucked my finger into his mouth and his eyes glittered invitingly.
He rocked back on his heels, his chest was bare, his feet were bare, I was completely bare and I wanted him in the same state. 'Take off your
jeans.' I ordered and a bubble of excitement caused my voice to crack.
That crooked grin made another appearance and I grinned back, I was almost incapacitated by lust as I watched him slowly peel the denim down
his legs taking his boxers too. His penis was devastating and my fingers itched to touch it. He sat back in all his glory and quirked an eyebrow.
Oh, he wants me to keep talking.
I bit my lip. His eyes wandered all over my body, I felt my nipples harden and the moisture between my legs increased, there was something so
exciting about being here with him like this. Naked on the sofa, with all the lights on, the TV still humming in the background. 'Kiss me.'
Smirking, he lifted my foot and kissed my instep gently. I opened my legs a little but his eyes stayed on mine, I opened them wider 'Look at me.'
'I am looking at you!'
Goddamn it!
'You have to say the words Bella,' His grin was devilish 'the dirty ones.'
I swallowed hard, I was so turned on but also a little apprehensive, it was one thing whispering dirty words into his ear but to say them out loud in
the brightness of this room was something altogether different. He swirled his tongue around the bone on my ankle and I knew exactly what I wanted
him to do.
'Look at my p_' his eyes lifted to mine expectantly and I couldn't go slow, I couldn't stretch this out, I needed him and I needed him now 'Lick my
pussy!' I moaned and my head dropped back onto the arm rest as a mixture of arousal and mild embarrassment washed over me.
He spread my legs wide and attacked me with relish, he'd never been this rough before, his teeth scraped across my slick flesh and he sucked
hard, so hard! My hips lifted off the sofa. 'Watch me!' He growled.
My head snapped up and his grin was feral and I gushed again, his eyes held mine and I watched dumbstruck as he flattened his tongue and
licked slowly almost from my back passage up to my clit, my knees trembled 'You taste fucking amazing Bella!' He hissed 'I could eat your pussy all
night!'
I moaned my whole body was thrumming with desire, he was so hot and I loved his filthy mouth. He flattened his tongue again and repeated the
motion then it all spiralled out of control, he was biting, liking and sucking and I was moaning and pulling his hair and coming in his mouth.
With one final lick that tickled he rose and loomed over me 'What now?'
I pulled him down and kissed him, tasting myself on his lips, he dragged them across my cheek and nibbled my ear lobe 'I want to fuck you Bella.'
My mouth popped open in surprise and he pulled back a little to look at me, he'd never referred to it like this before and if it hadn't been for the
look of love in his eyes I might have balked at it. He was a little tense, probably wondering if he'd gone too far, but he hadn't, he'd told me he wanted
to do everything with me. He'd made love to me so sweetly the first times and I loved it and he would be like that again, but I loved this too, I loved to
see him losing himself in lust.
I rubbed my thumb across his bottom lip while I bit my own, he sucked my thumb into his mouth and closed his eyes 'Fuck me.' I whispered,
taking us both by surprise, and his eyes popped open.
He bent and kissed me hard and then he was inside me and my legs were around his waist and our voices were loud as he pounded into me.
He stopped abruptly and, panting hard, he looked down at me.
'What?' I managed to gasp.
'Will you turn around?'
At first I didn't catch his meaning 'Why?'
He brushed his lips along mine 'I want to take you from behind.'
My insides clenched around him and he groaned. He kissed me again and slipped out before his fingers were encouraging me to turn. He
helped me up to my knees 'I love you, Bella.' He whispered as he positioned himself behind me. He spread my legs wider and I gripped the arm
rest to balance.
He smoothed his hands across my buttocks 'So beautiful.' He murmured and then with a groan he slid into me.
It was so deep but he waited till I adjusted, one of his hands was splayed across my lower belly the other gripping my hip, he moved slowly and
my head dropped onto my hands at the sweet sensation of him filling me.
'Fuck!' He gasped as he drove in harder 'It feels so fucking good, can you feel it?'
'Yes!' I panted as his thrusts grew harder and the harder he pushed the better it felt.
He leaned forward his chest pressed to my back 'Do you like it Bella?' He panted in my ear 'Do you like me fucking you?'
I couldn't speak I was so overwhelmed by the feel of him slamming into me and the sound of his voice in my ear.
'Tell me baby, do you like it?' His fingers found my breasts and he gripped them roughly.
'Yes!' I shouted throwing my head back and his lips clamped onto my neck 'Oh God, Edward, you feel so good, don't stop.'
He straightened and I felt the cool air on my back, his fingers dug into my hips and he increased his speed. He was swelling inside me and my
muscles were tightening, my legs wobbled as every nerve ending in my body prickled, straining for release.
'Oh.. I'm... Oh it's so good... Edward...I'm coming!'
'That's it baby,' he groaned 'come for me..oh..oh..yes!'
We collapsed in a sweaty panting heap and I could still feel him pulsing inside me as my muscles did the same. When our breathing was a little
slower he rolled off me and pulled me into his chest. 'God, you are amazing.' He breathed.
I looked up at him and grinned 'I have a great teacher.'
He smoothed my hair back away from my face and kissed my forehead, his breath was still coming in short huffs, his eyes were intense. He
planted soft kisses all over my face paying particular attention to my eyelids and eventually my mouth, 'You know it's still making love right?' His lips
were on my throat.
I nodded 'Edward, stop worrying about me, I'm not going to go running for the door every time you let yourself go.' I cupped his chin and drew his
face up level with mine 'I liked it,' I pecked his mouth 'I like you fucking me.' Even though I meant what I was saying and tried to sound as confident
as possible, I still blushed furiously as I said the words.
The slight hitch in his breathing was most gratifying. 'Did I tell you how amazing you are?' He grinned.
'You might have mentioned it.'
In the early hours of the morning I lay awake listening to him softly snoring, my thoughts had turned to Alice and I felt guilty for being so blissfully
happy. Jasper would be coming by today to remove all his stuff from her house and I thought about if it were Edward leaving here and I couldn't even
bear to think of that for more than a few seconds, yet that was Alice's life right now.
I missed Jasper.
a/n Thanks for reading, I'll try to update again during the week. I will not ask... I will not ask...
Chapter 33
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Sorry this should have been posted yesterday but I got distracted by a hoodie picture of Rob, lol, you've probably seen it, there's
simultaneous orgasms going on all over the internet to that photo...
Right people, thanks for the reviews, favourites and alerts! Each and every one makes my day SO much better.
Some back filling and fore shadowing here. If there's any mistakes sorry, I did go over it and changed a couple of things, so if
there's anything I've missed sorry.
Oh and special thanks to Emily for answering my twitter request and coming up with Kick Boxing!
'Dude! You totally fucking sucked ass!'
Emmett's voice bounced off the walls down the hallway as Edward opened the door, I was lying on the sofa reading, well I had been attempting
to read, I sat up and closed the book.
'Jesus Em, keep your fucking voice down!'
They came into the living room and Edward grimaced at me apologetically before throwing his holdall into his room.
'Hey dancer,' Emmett said throwing himself into the chair 'sorry about the language, I didn't realise I was being so loud.'
I stifled a giggle, loud and louder were the only two volumes Emmett did.
'Where were you two?' I asked setting my book down on the table.
'At the gym, kick boxing!' Emmett beamed with relish 'We go a couple of times a month,' he glanced at Edward accusingly 'it used to be a couple
of times a week, anyways, I always kick his ass, but never like this,' his grin widened' he was like a little fucking puppy dog, sorry for swearing, it
was embarrassingly easy, his ass was on the floor so many times I thought he was trying to catch some Z's.'
Edward flopped down beside me on the sofa 'Shut up Emmett, it was a match you won, get over it already.'
I squeezed Edward's knee and then stood up 'I guess you guys will be hungry.' I was already making my way to the kitchen.
'You don't have to go to any trouble,' Edward said 'we can order in.'
'It's no trouble, if you don't mind waiting?'
Emmett was already settling himself back in the chair and flicking through the TV channels, maybe if it were anyone else who did this on their first
time here it would have annoyed me, but Emmett was not the type of guy you could be annoyed at.
Edward peered into the fridge 'We only have two beers left,' He muttered 'I'll nip out and buy some more,' He looked at me 'd'you want some
wine?'
I nodded and he pecked my cheek before grabbing his jacket. I gathered what I needed from the fridge and started chopping vegetables.
'Wow, you're really gonna cook from scratch?' Emmett was looming over the fridge watching as I worked 'Christ , we've lived on take outs and
stuff that comes in a tin for the last four years, I can't remember the last time I saw a real onion.'
I smiled 'I like to cook, though I have to warn you there will be no meat in it.'
He grimaced and I burst out laughing 'You're not going to turn him into a vegetarian as well are you?'
I frowned 'What do you mean as well?'
'You've changed him,' He shrugged taking the beer I offered him and twisting the cap off 'for the better, definitely for the better.'
Pride got the better of me 'How so?'
'Well for a start, he actually smiles these days,' He chuckled 'Of course regular sex does that for a guy.'
I blanched 'Well I think Edward has always had regular sex.'
'Hey!' He admonished stepping closer 'Don't you do that! None of that self doubt shit, that's what I'm trying to tell you, you're making him happy,
he's in fucking love and it's about fucking time!'
I started on the onions with a goofy smile on my face.
'Look, I guess what I'm trying to do is warn you and put your mind at ease at the same time.'
 I looked up 'Warn me?'
He sighed 'Well, you know, just because he's with you, doesn't mean girls will stop throwing themselves at him. You just need to know that he's
totally into you, like he's never been before,' he took a swig and I went back to chopping 'you can't let any of the bullshit he did in the past affect what
you two have.' He grimaced 'Jesus, I sound like a fucking agony aunt... but, I really care about him, he's had a tough time, I just don't want to see you
two fuck it up, that's all I'm saying.' He shrugged again and I caught his embarrassed grimace just as he raised the bottle to his lips to try to hide it.
My eyes were stinging from the onions. I thought about Leah's reaction to us and I knew what Emmett was trying to do, he was trying to make
sure I understood that some of this might not be easy. I hadn't doubted Edwards love but maybe without Emmett's words I might have one day.
'He was a selfish prick, you know, but with you I get the feeling he'd do anything for you and he won't ever let anyone hurt you.'
I smiled up at him my eyes stinging from the onions and fat tears rolled down my cheeks.
'Are you fucking crying?' He gasped.
'No! It's the onions.' I giggled as I heard Edward come back in and Emmett passed me a sheet of kitchen roll.
I dabbed at my eyes and blew my nose.
'What the fuck, Em?' Edward glared dropping a bag on the counter and immediately bolting to my side 'What have you been saying to her?'
Emmett grinned and raised his eyebrows at me knowingly.
We sat at the table and ate our meal, Emmett talked about Rosalie a lot and I wondered how the funny sassy woman he described could sound
so different from the sullen moody one I'd witnessed. I said nothing of this and politely smiled and nodded in all the right places. Every now and then
Edward would gently caress my knee beneath the table and Emmett noticed every time but said nothing.
I insisted that I didn't want any help with the washing up because I needed a little space to think and Edward and Emmett sat in front of the TV
while I did the task. I stared out of the window and thought about Alice and Jasper, a glance at the clock and I figured he'd have been by now, was
he still there? Were they talking things over? Were they fighting? What I wouldn't give to be a fly on that particular wall.
Emmett ducked into the kitchen startling me out of my reverie 'Thanks for dinner,' he walked towards me and clamped his hand on my shoulder 'I
have to go Rosalie just text me,' he looked at me conspiratorially 'remember what I said, no matter what anybody says to the contrary, take it from
me, he won't let you down.'
We turned and Edward was watching us from the living room, Emmett kissed my cheek and then shook Edward's hand and left.
'What was all that about?' Edward said wrapping his arms around me and backing me up against the wall.
'What?' I said feigning innocence.
'You're little tete a tete with Emmett in the kitchen.'
'Oh that, he was just telling me about how bad you kick box.' I smiled.
He pressed himself into me and I felt the comforting warmth of his body 'I was distracted.' He murmured flicking his tongue over my earlobe.
'He kicked your ass. Bad!'
'Only because I was too busy thinking about yours.'
I groaned as I felt him harden.
The phone rang and my shoulders sagged as I reached for it 'Hello?'
Silence.
'Hello?'
Edward stiffened and stepped back quirking an eyebrow. I raised my hand and shook my head indicating that I had no idea who it was.
Then I heard sniffling 'Alice?'
'I-I-Is Edward there?'
My heart ached, she didn't want to speak to me, Jasper was gone from her life and she probably wished I was too. I wanted to say something but
what could you say to someone who was hurt by the sound of your voice? I reluctantly handed the phone to Edward.
'Are you okay?' He grasped the phone and turned, not completely away from me, but the distance was evident. He glanced at me pleadingly and
I knew what he was asking even though he didn't say it, I nodded, his lips pursed stoically 'I'll be right there.' He said and hung up.
He pulled me into his arms and kissed me deeply 'You don't mind?'
 I shook my head, I wanted to ask if she'd mentioned when Jasper had gone, where Jasper had gone but I didn't, I simply kissed him back and let
him go.
I held the disconnected phone in my hand.
EPOV
She must have seen me coming up the path because the door was already opened when I arrived. I stepped inside and closed it slowly, the
house was eerily quiet but I knew where to find her, it's where she always went when she was hurting.
The top step.
She liked to be at the top looking down, as if nothing could rain down on her, her troubles were beneath her. He was beneath her.
When I found my instincts were right it told me more than she ever could convey in words, he meant something, as much as that sickened me, he
did. Still.
I sat down beside her and wrapped my arm around her shoulder, she stiffened at first but then succumbed and sobbed into my chest.
'I can't believe it's over.'
I only barely made it out through the thickness of her grief, what the fuck could I say? I couldn't say he was an asshole, even though I wanted to.
She knew that already but the sheer volume of her tears on my shirt, the heart wrenching sound of her sobs and the death grip of her fingers on my
arms spoke of her fight, she was trying to fight it but she couldn't.
It was real, what she felt for him was every bit as real as what I felt for Bella and that ripped my heart out, what if they were meant to be together?
They had a lifetime before they met us, they were unnaturally close. What if Alice and I were the dress rehearsal and the real show belonged to
them, waiting to be played out?
She pulled away wiping at her eyes and then fixed me with her usual penetrating glare, Alice had an unnerving ability to know what I was thinking
and I could almost say the words for her.

'She loves you!' She said a little harshly and I dipped my head. 'She rejected him, so at least you have that.'
I felt like the world's biggest asshole.
'What did he say?'
'He apologised a million times,' a tear slid down her cheek 'He said he's been doing a lot of thinking...' she crumbled into sobs again and I
waited, holding her and saying nothing '..the worst part Edward..' she looked at me and her eyes were haunted '..the worst part is I think I believe
him but I can't trust him anymore, he's everything I've ever wanted and he was... he was.. perfect but now.. you and Bella... and how could I ever... I'd
never know... for sure, it would ... would it? Would it always be there?...I want...'
She stopped and it was like someone had shut off the power. She went from agitated to completely shut off in a heartbeat.
Her stillness disturbed me. I pulled back to look at her and her misery was so palpable I turned away. I fucking turned away just when she needed
me and I was back to that same selfish prick who couldn't connect.
'Tell me the truth,' She whispered 'has Bella talked to him?'
'No,' I answered 'she wants to but she's waiting, she wants you two to..' Could I say it? It seemed so obscene but I did 'she wants you to have a
chance at working it out.'
Her eyes pierced mine 'He said he knows now that he can't live without me.' Her voice was hollow and I knew what was on her mind before she
voiced it 'but he didn't say if he could live without her.'
'Do you want him to?' I knew I fucking did!
She didn't answer and I wondered if it was because she knew how I felt or if she genuinely didn't know.
I scooped her into my arms and she cried herself to sleep, I carried her to her room and laid her on the bed pulling the comforter over her fragile
little shoulders that had been so strong for me so many times.
I missed my dad a lot when I was growing up, my mom too, though it took me years to admit it. Alice was the only one who ever saw my pain, I
kept it hidden behind a facade of apathy and attitude, I still don't know why they put up with me. I was disruptive and completely unresponsive to
everything they tried to do for me. I constantly challenged everything and brought them nothing but misery and trouble.
Even though she was younger than me Alice would watch me with those big brown eyes, like she could see right into my head. She never
seemed to get exasperated the way everyone else did, she never said one cross word to me and she had a way of getting me to open up to her.
When Esme and Carlisle thought it best to give me some space, Alice would cease her chance. For some reason I could never even try to push her
away, she always said exactly what I was thinking, she could always make me see that there was a better way ahead.
I would lie in my bed at night and let the tears fall, that's how she found me that first time, trying hard to stifle my sobs in the pillow. She simply
walked up to the bed and pressed her favourite teddy bear into my chest and then climbed in beside me and wrapped her arms around both of us.
It was the first time I cried in front of anyone, the first time I'd felt able to. It wasn't the last.
There were many nights like that, where I would talk to her about my feelings, the crying eventually subsided, but she always knew when I needed
her. But it only lasted until I discovered sex and I wouldn't let her in after that, I was tainted.
I sat on the edge of the bed watching her and contemplating returning to Bella. Just as I was about to leave I spotted him sitting on the rocking
chair in the corner of the room and it felt like fate. I pushed him into her arms and lay beside them wrapping my arms around them and we were kids
again.
She woke up in the middle of the night and ordered me home to Bella, I tried to insist on staying but we both knew my heart wasn't in it and for
that I felt guilty as I walked through the bracing Seattle night back to where I guiltily wanted to be more than anywhere else.
She was sleeping and I thought I should perhaps sleep in my room so I stripped off and got into my bed that was entirely too lonely and curled up
into a ball. I tried, I really did but it was like a magnetic force pulling at me, relentlessly, until I couldn't do anything but get up and follow its trajectory
straight to her room.
I slid between the sheets and curved myself around her, she sighed in pleasure and I knew I had woken her.
'It's okay go back to sleep,' I whispered 'I couldn't sleep without you.'
Her head dipped and she raised our entwined hands and kissed my fingers. Her ass wiggled into my pelvis and I was lost.
My fingers removed her underwear, she threw her leg over my thigh and my dick found its own way inside. I moved languidly, sliding in and out of
her wet depths, she gripped my fingers and brought them to her breasts and I was more than happy to oblige and we took our time, we revelled in it,
we enjoyed each other and with each stroke the fear that had been slowly building all night evaporated.
She fucking quivered in my arms, I'd never felt anything like it, I'd never enjoyed anything so much and I'd never fucking feared losing anything so
much. I bit her shoulder as I came and feeling her muscles pulse around my cock almost brought tears to my eyes.
I awoke to an empty bed, but the smell of bacon appeased me and I lay on my back and listened to her humming in the kitchen and the sounds of
cooking and I drifted off again.
She kicked the bed 'Hey, sleepy head.'
I opened my eyes and grinned at her 'I've got a morning boner.'
Her eyes glinted 'Yeah? Well, I've got bacon and eggs and they're getting cold.' Then her eyes dimmed 'And I want to hear about Alice, before I
go to work.'
I got out of bed and then realised I had come to her naked and had nothing to put on, I stepped out of her room, said boner bobbing obscenely
and smiled ruefully at her 'I just need to go put something on.'
Her eyes were fixed on me as she watched me walk to my room, God I had the urge, but she wanted to talk about Alice so that's what we'd do.
BPOV
I watched him do a strangely awkward jog to his room and my insides coiled. Normally I couldn't have resisted the sight of him naked and
aroused but today I was too anxious to hear about Alice. I had fought with my conscience all night after Edward had left, I wanted to call Jasper just
to make sure he was doing okay but I had to know what he'd said to Alice first. Of course, I had spent most of the night staring at my phone willing it
to ring but it never did.
He emerged from his room wearing sweat pants and sadly pulling a t shirt over his head and covering himself up. He sat down opposite me and
winked before digging in to the bacon and eggs I'd set in front of him.
'You know,' he said, mouth full and a glint in his eye 'these are hot enough that we could have had a little quickie.'
He was insatiable and I loved it. But.
'How was Alice?'
He frowned.
'Seeing him made her feel worse.' He sighed and rubbed his hands down his face, he pushed his plate away even though he'd hardly eaten
anything and finally looked at me 'He apparently apologised a "million" times.' He did little air quotes on the million.
There was a heavy note of sarcasm in his voice. I chose to ignore it.
I sagged back in my chair 'I wish I could go see her.'
'I don't think that's a good idea,' he said 'Esme called last night and invited us all for dinner tonight,' he paused 'um, do you want to go?'
'I take it Alice said no.' He nodded 'because of me.' I stated and he nodded again.
 'She just needs time Bella she'll come round.' He fidgeted with the rim of his plate 'So will you come tonight?'
I wondered if it was a good idea to go tonight when it was glaringly obvious that their daughter had declined their invitation because of me, but
Edward seemed keen so I nodded.
It was almost time for me to leave and I really wanted to talk about how things had gone between Alice and Jasper. 'Do you think she'll be able to
forgive him?'
He snorted and I looked away, feeling a bubble of anger building in my chest.
'Maybe I should drive down to Forks and see him this week before Charlie gets home.' I mused aloud.
'Why the fuck would you want to do that?' He was practically gritting his teeth and his sudden outburst surprised me 'He's the one in the wrong, he
hasn't even attempted to contact you, why should you go running after him?'
'I'm not running after him, I was waiting till he spoke to Alice and since I can't ask her how he's doing I...'
'Fucking hell Bella, what was all that bullshit about waiting till he came to you?'

'He text me last week,' I shouted 'I didn't reply so the ball is in my court.'
I stood up and dumped my uneaten breakfast in the trash, how did a perfectly good morning suddenly descend into a shouting match?
He stalked into the kitchen and did the same and then he stood glaring at me but his voice was gentler 'Look, Bella, I just don't think you should
go running down there it might send the wrong signals.'
'I just want to make sure he's alright, Alice has had you to lean on Jasper doesn't have anyone.' I insisted 'And I'm sure he got all the signals he
needed the last time.'
Suddenly his eyes were like flint 'He doesn't deserve anyone, he caused all this!'
'He deserves a chance to put it right!' I hissed.
He jammed his fingers into his hair and raked it back 'How can he ever put this right? He tried to split us up, he almost cheated on Alice and he
practically attacked you at your dad's wedding!'
'Oh for crying out loud Edward, he didn't attack me. I was angry about it too, but we can't fix it by ignoring it.'
'So you think things will just magically go back to the way they were?' He snorted.
'No,' I said quietly 'I know things will never be the same, but he's still my friend and I'm not going to turn my back on him just because he got
confused.'
Edward snorted 'Yeah, confused about which one of you he wants to put his dick into!'
I shook my head angrily and stalked to the living room, we weren't getting anywhere and I really didn't want us to fall out over this. 'I'm going to
work.' I said picking up my purse and the truck keys.
All day at work I alternated between stewing over Edwards apparent u-turn on not standing in my way if I wanted to make it up with Jasper and
feeling down about the fact that things would never be the same again. I had spent the most important years of my life relying on Jasper and he had
given me so much over the years that I had to at least find out if we could salvage something from the ashes of the bond we'd once shared.
At this point in time there was no question of who I would choose if I had to but there was also no ignoring the fact that Jasper had been a major
part of my life and had never let me down before. That level of trust and strength of bond had been cultivated over years and couldn't be wiped out
by one stupid mistake.
By the time I got home I had resolved not to mention Alice or Jasper this evening, Edward was taking a big step taking me home to meet the
people he'd come to love as parents and it wouldn't do to turn up with a big ugly cloud hanging over us.
He came to greet me as I was taking my jacket off 'I'm sorry about this morning.' He said enveloping me in his arms and squeezing me tight 'I
drew you a bath.'
I thanked him and smiled when he offered to join me 'I don't think we'd make it to dinner if you did that.' I said heading to my room to get a change
of clothes.
'You know I miss the days when you couldn't get enough of my hands in your hair.' He said lightly.
'You're right I couldn't, but that was before I knew where it could lead, 'and I looked at my watch pointedly 'and how long it can take.' I really wanted
him, after this morning's argument I wanted more than ever to make love with him but we just didn't have time.
He left me to get ready and I went through my routine as quickly as possible, all the while feeling more and more apprehensive about the visit. I
mean, it's not as if Carlisle and Esme were a couple of ogres they were very nice people it was just nerve-wracking because I was the first to be
taken and Alice had called off.
 There house was lovely, even from the street, it looked large enough to accommodate a family of twenty, very modern in design and nothing at all
like I'd imagined. Edward turned into the driveway and I marvelled at the beauty of it as I got out of the car, though there was so much glass I couldn't
imagine ever living in a house so open and lacking in privacy as this.
He led me inside and his nervous disposition did not go unnoticed by me. Carlisle and Esme were standing in the vestibule arm and arm waiting
for us. Esme, in particular, was grinning at us like we were in kindergarten and she'd just caught us holding hands in the corner. Everything about
her just screamed that she was thinking 'Too cute!'
I blushed but when I looked at Edward I stifled a giggle because there was a definite tinge of rose pink just above his cheekbones.
'I won't introduce you, since you've already met.' He sighed stopping just short of rolling his eyes.
Carlisle grinned and stepped forward 'It's lovely to see you again Bella, welcome to our home.'
I thanked him and accepted the kiss Esme planted on my cheek, Edward did roll his eyes when they turned away and we followed them down the
hallway. I swatted his arm playfully.
I almost fell over my feet when we reached the living room and I saw Alice sitting rigidly in an easy chair with her hands twisting in her lap. She
looked up and her eyes met mine. Her smile was tight. I wanted to go to her and ask her a thousand questions and just seeing her made me realise
that I had missed her too.
Esme retreated to the kitchen while Carlisle poured us some drinks and Edward glanced nervously between Alice and I. Thankfully Carlisle
struck up a conversation with Edward about his upcoming year as an intern, leaving me with the golden opportunity to approach Alice.
'How are you?' I asked awkwardly, groaning inside at my lame opener. How the hell did I think she was? She looked worse than I'd ever seen
her, thinner, with dark circles under her eyes and a grim set to her mouth. All of her usual spark was gone it was like she wasn't really Alice
anymore.
'I've been better,' she said quietly 'but I'm getting there.'
'Edward said you weren't coming,' I blurted 'but I'm glad you did, I really wanted to see you.' God this was all coming out wrong.
She finally looked up at me 'Bella, I came tonight, because I need to move on, I'm not angry with you, I was just dreading seeing you again, but
you're with Edward now so I have to get used to it sometime.'
Her words stung 'So, I'm just Edward's girlfriend to you now.' I said slowly, trying desperately to understand but unable to hide the hurt I was
feeling, even though it was nothing compared to her own pain, I couldn't hide it.
She sighed heavily and then touched my arm 'No.'
That was enough to be going on with I didn't push her further.
While we sat around the table sharing the meal, I noticed two things; Esme watched Edward and I surreptitiously but closely and Alice's
participation in the conversation was stilted at best. The whole situation was a stark reminder of how it would be at Charlie's when he came home.
Edward's family weren't being unkind but it was clear that Esme was worried about something and Alice was miserable.
Carlisle did his best to keep the conversation flowing and at times I felt that my responses were far to forced and only underlined the tension
around the table. Finally with a scrape of his chair Edward stood up.
'Thanks for inviting us.' He said sharply 'Bella and I should really get going.'
I looked down at my half full plate and cringed, we hadn't even had desert yet and it was clear he felt the evening had been one big failure.
'Edward,' I said quietly 'Esme and Carlisle have gone to so much trouble, I'd like to stay for desert.'
He glanced down at me, his green eyes questioning.
'I'd like to stay.' I insisted.
He looked at Esme apologetically and sat back down. Esme smiled at me as if I'd passed some sort of test in her eyes and the meal continued.
Eventually everyone began to relax and the funny stories from Edward and Alice's childhood started to come out and before long we were all
laughing and the banter between the four of them was so easy and natural it made me wish that I had experienced this kind of family bond growing
up.
After dinner I offered to do the dishes, which of course Esme refused, but then to my surprise Alice offered to do them with me.
I washed while she stood behind me armed with a dish towel. We worked efficiently and in silence, I hoped she would eventually speak.
'Have you seen Jasper yet?' She asked when we were almost done, her voice was so quiet and her words so slow I almost felt loathe to answer.
'No, not yet.'
'Yet.' She echoed.
 I didn't turn, I couldn't face her pain 'I'll probably see him during the week when I go home to see Charlie.'
'He said it's all a mistake, on his part, he said you were right the first time, he just got confused.' Her voice was almost childlike.
I spun round 'That's what I've been saying all along,' I said finally happy that there was a breakthrough 'I know he loves you Alice, this thing with
me it's only ever been friendship.'
She held a hand up 'I don't know if I can ever trust him again, I believed everything he said the last time, yet he still made a pass at you.'
'Alice, Jasper and I have been through so much together, I know now that we were to introverted, too close and the lines have probably always
been blurred. I just want you to know that I'm fully committed to Edward but I miss my best friend and I know I'll forgive him, I just wish..'
'Don't say it.' She whispered 'Don't ask me to forgive him.'
I shook my head 'I'm sorry, you're right. It's not my place.'
I turned and jumped when I saw Edward standing in the doorway, he jerked his head, indicating it was time to leave.
We drove home in virtual silence and even though he came to my room, he didn't make love to me because there was a giant elephant in there
with us.
a/n Thanks for reading. Show me the love.
I've had a few questions in the past about my use of ' instead of ". It's a british thing, dialogue in our books are punctuated that
way and it would take me twice as long to type if I had to switch to ".
I will TRY to update this weekend. I'm really busy right now and hating it, all I want to do is WRITE! Is it too much to ask? :o)
If you want to follow me on Twitter you can: BellaScotia1, though, I never say anything interesting but I do like to chat and follow
people lol.
Chapter 34
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
The reviews are great! Thanks to each and every one of you, I try to respond but I know I'm probably missing a few so sorry. Hope
this chapter is to your liking.
I went to college as normal, the classes were winding down for the summer break and I stopped looking for Jasper. I was far more concerned by
Edward's newfound aloofness. I knew the reason for it of course, he didn't want me to reconcile with Jasper and even though I could understand it, I
didn't know how to approach the subject.
I couldn't help missing Jasper, I knew it was irrational but I couldn't do anything about it and I couldn't tell Edward because I didn't want us to fight
over it. He hadn't resorted to sleeping in his own room but he had simply wrapped his arms around me each night and gone to sleep. I was even
wearing pyjamas again. I was too scared to touch him intimately; I didn't think I could bear it if he pushed me away. I contented myself with simply
feeling his arms around me.
Charlie called briefly on Wednesday night to let me know he'd be home the following day, I tried to argue that I had classes but his tone brooked
no argument and I meekly agreed to be there early. The weeks where I'd felt I was growing as a person, maturing and finding myself were slowly
slipping through my fingers and all the old self doubts were coming back. The irony was that even though he'd caused this, the part of me that was
re-emerging made me need Jasper more than ever.
After Charlie's call I sat down heavily on the sofa and listened to the dull drone of the traffic outside, I pulled out my cell phone and thumbed the
keys, I flicked through the menu to Jasper's name and sat staring at the screen. I sat for a long time, just clicking the keys when the backlight went
off but eventually I threw the phone on the table, I couldn't do it, it felt wrong.
It was still relatively early when Edward came home and I was delighted to see Alice behind him. I stood up and moved towards them, Edward
smiled at me and it was the first genuine smile he'd offered me in days. His lips brushed mine briefly and he touched my cheek.
'Get your glad rags on' he smiled 'there's an open mike gig on tonight, I thought we could all go.' He raised his eyebrows questioningly 'Jacob is
meeting us there.'
I almost felt boneless my relief was so intense, it would be so nice to have some fun with Edward and our friends. I turned to Alice.
'Would you help me pick something to wear?' I asked tentatively.
She nodded and followed me into my room 'You seem tense,' she remarked ' is everything alright?'
Oh how I wanted to sit down and spill my guts to her but how could I? So I sucked it up and lied.
'I'm fine, I'm just worried about seeing Charlie tomorrow.'
She nodded while she rooted around in my closet and pulled out a pair of tight black pants that I'd bought in a sale and never had the nerve to
wear, 'Edward mentioned that you would be going down there this weekend, I'm really proud of him for offering to apologise in person. These would
totally suit you.' She threw me the pants and delved back into the closet.
She found me a red top to wear that I didn't know I had and then I sat on the edge of the bed trying not to look her in the eye while she applied
some make up. There was a tension between us that only time would alleviate, so tonight I would bend completely to her will because she was the
one taking the giant steps while mine were only baby steps.
When she went to the bathroom Edward stepped into my room, he was wearing a slightly misshapen white v necked shirt, but still managed to
look stunning in it. He insisted I looked beautiful and then he immediately hauled me into his arms and pressed a desperate kiss to my lips. I
clutched at him and couldn't fight the long relieved sigh that gave away my immense relief.
'I'm sorry if I've been a little distant.' He whispered punctuating each word with a peck on my lips. 'This whole thing with Alice is affecting me more
than I realised.' He cupped my cheek 'I know we should really talk about this but I just feel like I don't even want to think about it anymore.' He kissed
me deeply and his tongue slid into my mouth, I groaned in protest when he finally pulled back 'Let's just have fun tonight?'
It didn't escape me that he'd referred to the situation being about Alice and not Jasper but I pushed the thought away and relaxed into his
embrace. 'I wish we didn't have to go out now.' I whispered running my hands over his chest.
His chuckle was strained 'Any more of that and I'll be wishing the same.' He smiled.
For a Wednesday night the bar was surprisingly busy, Edward received a text from Jacob and went outside to help him bring in the guitars, I was
excited at the prospect of seeing them both sing. Alice was a little quiet and I guessed she was remembering the last time we'd been here.
'Shall we go to the bar?' I asked, not really wanting to but desperate to try anything to distract her. She nodded and we made our way to the bar. I
felt a pair of large hands encircling my waist and jumped in fright.
'Hey dancer!' Emmett grinned as I turned round 'Wow! You look smokin' hot tonight.' He turned to Alice 'This your work?'
I swatted his arm playfully and then dropped my hand when Rosalie stepped up beside him.
 'Hi.' I said nervously, though I wasn't exactly sure what I had to be nervous about.
Emmett threw his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close, she grinned and I almost fainted I'd never seen her smile so genuinely before.
She turned towards Alice and I and though it slipped a little, it was still there as she said hello.
We found a table near the stage and Emmett dragged some more chairs over while Alice placed the tray of drinks on it and we all sat down.
Alice sat on one side of me and somewhat alarmingly Rosalie sat at the other, at least she was turned slightly away from me facing Emmett.
Edward and Jacob appeared and propped their guitars at the side of the bar before sitting opposite us. Edward looked a little perplexed and I
realised I should have saved him a seat beside me, I smiled apologetically and he winked.
'I got the parts for your truck.' Jacob said leaning forward 'You should bring it over this week and I'll change them for you.'
To my intense surprise Rosalie turned towards us and spoke to Jacob 'You fix cars?'
Jacob nodded 'Yeah, I'm trying to start up my own business, at the moment I'm renting a garage a couple of blocks away from my house.'
She turned to me 'What kind of truck do you have?' Her eyes were the clearest blue I'd ever seen and seeing her without her perma-scowl was
really breathtaking, she was quite simply beautiful. Her interest in my truck confused yet intrigued me.
'It's a chevy,' I said blushing 'I think?' I turned to Jacob.
He chuckled 'Get this,' he said turning to Rosalie 'It's a 1953 Chevy!'
Rosalie's grin widened 'Wow, that is old! How did you manage to get parts for it?'
Jacob seemed proud 'I have my sources.'
'You know I wouldn't mind coming down to your workshop,' Rosalie smiled 'I know my way around an engine.'
My mouth was probably hanging open as I watched Jacob and Rosalie hurtle deeper into a conversation they were clearly both enjoying
immensely. Who would have guessed Rosalie liked cars. I turned and said as much to Alice.
She smiled 'Yeah, Emmett said something about her father and brothers being motor heads I guess it runs in the family.'
I sipped my drink and tried desperately to think of something else to say but the moment was gone and we were back to being altogether too
polite while our problems pressed on us once more. We sat watching as other people got up to sing and I was just beginning to relax when a rather
voluptuous redhead approached our table and zeroed in on Edward.
'Edward.' She crooned in an annoying sing song voice 'Long time no see, where have you been hiding?'
'Victoria.' He said stiffly but didn't answer her question.
She turned a chair around from the table behind and slithered into it, entirely too close to Edward for my liking. Jacob and Rosalie were still deep
in conversation and Alice had gone with Emmett to the bar leaving me with no diversion at all as I watched Victoria simper over Edward.
'You know,' she grinned lasciviously as her fingers did a strange walk up his chest that made me want to chop them off 'Tanya and Kate are here,
maybe you should come over and say hello.'
Her hand fluttered at the opening in his shirt and just as it looked like it might dip inside Edward grabbed her wrist and lightly drew it away. 'Not
tonight,' he said gravely and his eyes flicked to mine 'I'm with...'
Before he could finish the sentence she stood up trailing her hand across his jaw still smiling 'Some other time then.' She stooped and my eyes
widened in horror as her lips fell on his, I couldn't believe that she would just brazenly kiss him like that and even though I saw him pull away it hurt to
someone else's lips on his. Her hand was still sickeningly on his face and I couldn't stand it any more so I got up and went to the restroom.
I locked myself in a cubicle, closed the lid on the toilet seat and sat down heavily. My knees were bouncing as I tried to calm myself down, it was
ridiculous to get so jealous so quickly when it wasn't even Edward who had initiated it. Perhaps if he hadn't been so distant these past few days it
wouldn't have affected me so badly but I almost felt like I didn't want to go back out there, I didn't want to see him being simpered over. The image
of her blood red lips pressed to his almost made me retch.
Then my blood ran cold, this must be how he had been feeling over the whole Jasper situation, only that was so much worse. I groaned as I finally
realised the enormity of the situation in Edward's eyes. If I'd reacted this badly to one woman flirting with him, okay, kissing him, then how much
worse must it have been for Edward, knowing that I'd been locked in a room while the person whom I'd been closest to in my adult life had tried to
do that to me?
A tear slid down my cheek, I'd have to choose, even though there was no choice, I couldn't see a way back from this for Jasper. I loved him, of
that I was sure, but I was also sure that it wasn't like the way I loved Edward and even though I had no guarantees with Edward I needed him. I
wanted him and if that meant I couldn't see Jasper any more then I was prepared to do it because this was all down to Jasper and he was the only
one who should pay for what he'd done to us all.
I dabbed at my eyes and blew my nose as I heard the door open.
 'Bella?'
'I'll be right out.' I answered Alice as brightly as I could.
She tapped on my door and I opened it but instead of stepping out she stepped in with me. Her eyes were filled with concern and fresh tears
sprung to my eyes. 'I'm sorry Alice, did Edward send you in? He shouldn't have done that.'
She shook her head 'I saw the thing with Victoria, he's standing outside waiting for you, I thought he was going to storm in any moment, that's why
I came in.' She touched my chin 'You okay?'
I sighed 'Yes, I just realised what a monumentally selfish fool I've been.'
Her eyebrow quirked in confusion.
'I've been trying to defend Jasper and only now I'm beginning to realise how badly he hurt you and Edward,' My eyes dropped to the floor unable
to withstand her gaze 'I've been so wrapped up in missing him that I couldn't see this clearly, there's no way back from this..'
'Really?' Her gasp brought my eyes up to hers, was it possible that she thought there was?
'What did he say to you when you spoke?'
'We talked about lots of things, like how we moved too fast, how he wasn't honest with me about his feelings for you and how he was very
confused, very sorry and utterly miserable.' Her voice was quiet, regretful 'He begged me to give him another chance, he says he's had time to think
and he realises you were right the first time it happened.' She hissed and shook her head sadly 'but that's exactly why I can't do it Bella, this is not
the first time, I believed him last time but I just can't do it now.' She closed her eyes 'Not when he still can't accept you and Edward, that tells me
more than his words ever will.'
Her sadness was palpable and I felt my heart constrict with the mere sight of the haunted look that swept over her beautiful features. She looked
up at me and her eyes were two shimmering pools of pain 'He said he won't see you again if that's what it takes..'
I snorted 'That's the conclusion I've just come to, I can't be without Edward and if it means cutting Jasper out of my life then I'm prepared to do it.'
'Even though you don't want to.' She said sadly 'Neither of you does,' She gripped my arms 'That's what's so fucked up about the whole thing, if
there was nothing there, you wouldn't have to stay away from each other.'
'Alice, there is something there, of course there is, but for me it's like the way I feel about Charlie, it's like he's my brother, there is absolutely
nothing sexual in it. I promise you.'

She sighed 'I believe you, but can't you see, Edward and I are family, if you are with Edward and I was with..' she hesitated 'Jasper, then you
couldn't avoid each other. It just can't be done,' her shoulders sagged 'so you're right, there is no way back from this.'
There was a harsh knock on the door and I called out to Edward that we'd be right out.
I turned back to Alice, everything she'd just said indicated that she still loved Jasper and I didn't want to be the one to extinguish her last flicker of
hope.
'Look, Jasper hasn't tried to contact me,' I shook my head 'well, he sent a text to say sorry, I guess he really is trying to stay away for your sake.'
'He owes you and Edward a massive apology.' She sniffed.
'I guess he sees you as the priority and that's the way it should be.' I handed her a tissue 'Edward and I are going down to Forks this weekend to
see Charlie, I want to speak to Jasper just to hear him out but I won't if you or Edward don't want me to.'
She knew I was asking her permission and she shook her head 'No, you have to talk to him, both of you, if nothing else it will give us all some
closure.' The door knocked again and her eyes darted to it 'You better put him out of his misery.'
I pulled her to me and hugged her 'I'm so sorry Alice, I've missed you so much and...'
Her arms tightened around me 'We'll get there.' She said quietly.
I unlocked the door and checked my reflection in the mirror before opening the outer door to face Edward.
'You okay?' He asked anxiously stepping towards me and curving his fingers around my arm. 'I didn't know she would do that,' he raked his
fingers through his hair, 'try to kiss me like that in front of you,'
'It's okay, honestly Edward, it's more than okay.' I said and his eyes widened. Alice stepped out behind me 'I'll explain later.' I said.
'I'm just gonna get a cab,' Alice said jerking her thumb in the direction of the exit 'I'm a little tired tonight.'
'We can all go.' Edward offered but Alice shook her head.
'No, please, stay. Don't let me ruin your night.' There was no question of that but I knew she'd only feel worse if we did insist on leaving.
'Walk her out.' I said to Edward and touched his hand 'We can talk later.'
 I returned to the table to find Jacob sitting alone, Emmett and Rosalie were swaying on the dance floor.
'Is everything alright?' Jacob asked as I sat down opposite him.
'Yes, it will be.'
He nodded and glanced at Emmett and Rosalie 'She's coming down to my workshop tomorrow,' he grinned 'can you believe that?'
I laughed 'No! But for God's sake don't let Leah anywhere near her.'
He eyed Rosalie and laughed 'Can you imagine those two getting in a fight,' he shuddered theatrically 'there would be blood!'
'How is Leah?' I asked sobering.
'What did you say to her last week?' He asked setting his bottle down, there was no hint of malice or accusation in his tone.
'Why?' I asked, wanting to check the lay of the land.
'She's been different,' he revealed 'she came to see me the day after and she apologised for being so rude to you,' he glanced over my shoulder
and I guessed that Edward was on his way back 'She's even talking about getting a job, since Paul has some independence back.'
'That's a good thing then.' I smiled.
'Yeah, but there was something else,' He shook his head a little 'I don't know, like she's a little more hopeful, I don't know, it sounds silly but
whatever it is it's making me feel more hopeful too.'
'I'm glad!' I said and he quirked his eyebrow 'It's nothing to do with me.' I smiled feigning innocence.
I felt Edward's warm hand on my shoulder 'Do you wanna move around in circles with me?' He asked as I looked up 'Seeing as you can't dance.'
His crooked grin was the best thing I'd seen in days.
I took his hand and he lead me onto the floor.
'I'm so sorry, Edward.' I said loving the feel of his hand on the small of my back as the other one held mine to his chest.
'What do you have to be sorry about?' he asked lifting our hands and kissing my fingers.
'Everything!' I said 'All this stuff with Jasper.'
He stiffened 'I don't want to talk about it tonight.'
'But I...'
'Please Bella,' He said pressing his lips to my head 'I've been an ass the last couple of days, tonight I just want to forget it all and be with you.'
I wanted to argue with him and tell him that it was all my fault but when I tried to speak again his lips covered mine and I was lost. He kissed me
long and hard and when I finally rested my head on his chest again I took some pleasure from the envious glare of the three girls staring at us from
the other side of the room.
Later when we got home and he loved me with his tongue and the aftershocks washed through me it was easy to forget that this cloud was
hanging over us and when he pushed himself inside me and made love to me so passionately all that mattered was that I loved him. Nothing
mattered more than that. Nothing.
It was just before noon when we arrived in Forks, Edward had been tense all the way down and I tried several times to strike up a conversation
with him about what I'd realised the previous evening but each time he simply patted my knee or my hand on the wheel and changed the subject. I
pulled the truck to a stop at the end of the street, just as I had done the last time we were here.
'Look Edward,' I said turning in the seat to face him 'I really want to talk to you about something before we go and see Charlie.'
'Bella, I already know that it's not just Charlie you've come to see and I'm okay with that, we'll talk to him after I've apologise to your dad, it's time
we heard what he has to say for himself.'
'I just want you to know that I'm sorry for not realising how difficult this has been for you.'
He kissed me gently 'I want to get away for a couple of days,' I froze and he smiled 'with you Bella, this weekend maybe, we could go away for a
couple of nights. Just to get away from it all, somewhere quiet,' he pulled me across the seat 'just me and you, where no one can reach us by phone
or knock on our door, I want to spend a whole day just making love with you.'
I closed my eyes, overcome with pleasure at the mere thought of it.
He kissed my cheek and then turned towards the house. 'Let's get this over with.'
There was so much more I wanted to say and I regretted not forcing him to listen last night but his kisses were too good to resist and when he
touched me talking was the last thing on my mind. I drove slowly to Charlie's and parked in the drive. With great effort I didn't look at Jasper's house
at all as we walked from the truck. I didn't bother knocking I knew Charlie was waiting and simply stepped straight inside with a frowning Edward
following reluctantly behind.
He was standing in the front room facing the window when we entered he turned and the first thing that registered was how tanned and relaxed
he looked, I hadn't seen him look this good in... well, never. I knew he was alone and wondered where Sue might be but I didn't ask, he was far too
fixated on Edward and I.
His eyes narrowed slightly as he regarded Edward, I half expected him to react angrily but Edward got in there first.
'Chief Swan,' Edward began stepping forward 'I came down here with Bella today to apologise to you for my behaviour at your wedding. It was
unforgiveable and I really regret that it happened.'
Charlie's eyes flicked to me and then back to Edward 'I really wanted to see my daughter today so that we could discuss all this privately,' he
sighed 'but I appreciate you coming down here to accept responsibility in person, but it still doesn't mean that I like the idea of Bella living in the
same apartment as you.'
'Dad,' I said stepping forward 'Edward didn't come down to accept responsibility, it wasn't his fault, he's here to apologise for his reaction though
if you knew what had happened I doubt you'd blame him.'
Charlie all but ignored me 'What exactly are the living arrangements?' He asked turning his gaze back to Edward.
'Dad!' I shouted 'I'm not a child, if you want to discuss this then you have to listen to what I have to say as well, I'm not going to stand here and let
you scold me like a child.'
He blanched and when Edward put a restraining hand on my shoulder Charlie zeroed in on it. 'So you two are together?'
I sat down and both of them did likewise 'I love Edward,' I said quietly 'we've become very close and he did what he did at the wedding because
he loves me too.'
Charlie looked confused and maybe just a little lost for words. 'You better tell me what happened.' He said sighing.
I spoke slowly as I told Charlie how Jasper had cornered me in the bathroom at the wedding and tried to kiss me and my cheeks flamed as I told
him just how far Jasper wanted to go, despite the fact he was with Alice and he knew about my relationship with Edward. As I spoke Charlie's tan
turned puce.
'I saw him this morning but I didn't get a chance to speak to him,' he said rising 'I wondered why he was back.'
'Where are you going?' I asked jumping up to follow him.
'You two wait here, I'm going to have words with that little fucker.'
I gasped I'd never heard Charlie swear before and I was beside myself that he would do something he might regret. I looked at Edward who must
be feeling like he'd been forgotten in the whole episode. He nodded but made no move to get up. I ran after Charlie.
He was already taking the steps up to Jasper's porch two at a time and by the time I reached them he was pounding his fist on the door. Jasper
opened it and Charlie grabbed a fistful of his shirt and pulled him out.
'What the hell did you think you were doing?' Charlie roared 'Bella trusted you, I trusted you and you lock yourself in a room with her and
practically force yourself on her,' he was shaking him and Jasper was wearing an odd expression that looked to me almost like relief 'give me one
reason why I shouldn't kick your ass into next week Jasper!'
'I can't!' Jasper said and he was almost too calm 'there is no good reason!'
Charlie still had his hands fisted in Jasper's shirt and I looked around but Jasper's father's car was gone so I didn't even have the comfort of
hoping that he would come and restrain Charlie.
'Dad!' I yelled grabbing his arm 'Dad, don't, please, please don't do something you'll regret.'
I looked at Jasper then and he was staring back at me, his eyes were fathomless 'It's not worth it!' I continued and I was sure I saw him nod as if
in agreement.
Charlie released his grip and turned to me taking my arm 'Let's go!' He glanced back 'Don't you come back near her!'
'For what it's worth Charlie, I'm sorry!' Jasper said and then went into the house.
Charlie frogmarched me across the lawn, I heard a door close and turned to see Jasper climbing into the tree house. I pulled back and Charlie
frowned at me.
'He's been a massive part of my life for so long,' I said looking up at Charlie, 'I just want to say goodbye face to face.'
'Bella!' he groaned 'I don't want you being alone with him anymore.'
'Dad, you saw him, he's no threat to me,' I touched his arm 'Please, I have to do this, I have to tell him.'
Charlie relented and I waited until he was on the porch steps before I turned and made my way to the tree house.
a/n :-$
Thanks for reading. Thanks for reviewing. Thanks for adding as favourites. Thanks for adding to Alerts. X
Chapter 35
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Couple of good days writing under my belt so I'm finally making progress again! *big smile* Thanks so much for ALL the wonderful
reviews. I am almost at 900 now I REALLY want to get to that magical 1000, so... just saying! There's a couple of regular unsigned
reviewers, I obv can't reply to you guys but just know that I love your reviews and wish I could reply.
This has been coming for a long time!
How many times had I climbed this rough makeshift ladder to the tree house? My fingers knew the unexpected smoothness of the edges where
our feet had buffed the wood into smooth curves rather than the harsh splintered ridges when the slats had first been nailed on. The damp leafy
smell enveloping as I climbed higher was achingly familiar and if I wanted to I could have recalled dozens of memories off the top of my head and
my brain would conjure many more that I'd thought I'd forgotten.
I could hear him moving around and I knew he could hear me coming. I paused and took a moment to collect myself, I had to be calm and rational
when I faced him. I pushed away the memories that were assailing me and focussed instead on why I was here.
Taking a deep breath I climbed inside and he was sitting in the far corner staring at me, I didn't take my eyes off him as I sat leaning against the
opposite wall. At first glance he looked just the same yet on closer inspection he looked entirely different: His hair curled in the same way, his eyes
were the same dark grey, his top lips was still a little crooked which to me always looked like the beginnings of a smile. That was the difference
though, at first glance he looked the same,the details were there but they were askew in the bleakness in his eyes, the tension in the ridge of his
jaw, the stoop of his shoulders. And in the air of defeat surrounding him he was just wholly different.
He wasn't looking at me now, he was staring out the window while his fingers tugged at and twisted a loose knot of threads on his ripped jeans. I
waited. He sighed a couple of times, he even opened his mouth to speak and he pulled harder on those threads but no words came out and
eventually I grew tired of it.
'If you're not going to say anything then there's no point in me being here.' I said and even though my voice was quiet it seemed to reverberate in
the space between us 'I just came to...'
He looked at me then and it hurt, it actually hurt, because it made me want to hit him, I wanted to scoot over there and slap his stupid face for
ruining everything. I suddenly wanted to yell at him and call him for everything, to curse him for doing this stupid idiotic thing that had made it
impossible for us to ever find our way back to how we used to be.
'I've thought a lot about what I'd say to you if I saw you,' he said with a long heavy sigh 'I've almost called you so many times,' he hissed 'look at
me Bella.'
'I don't want to!' I said, my eyes were trained on a darkened knot in the wooden floor 'just say your piece.' He shuffled forward 'Don't!' The word
was harsh and loud and he stopped in his tracks 'Don't come any closer, don't touch me, just talk.' I finally looked up.
'Bella, I'm so sorry I did that, I'm sorry that I took my feelings for you and screwed them up and turned them into something ugly and hurt you with
it. I'm sorry that I frightened you at the wedding, that I didn't trust you to know your own mind.' He was sitting up rigid and his eyes were shimmering
as the beginnings of tears started to form 'I'm so sorry that I fucked up because I was too stupid to appreciate that we both had everything we ever
wanted and we could have had each other too,' his hand reached out and then he snatched it back and raked his curls away from his face 'the way
we were meant to be, the way we should have stayed.'
He stalled and looked out the window again and wiped a finger underneath his left eye 'I've been so miserable without her and its killing me that I
did this to her, to you, to all of us.'
'Then why did you, Jasper?' I finally found my voice 'Remember that day in the apartment when you told me the first time that you wanted me, we
talked it through, you agreed with me. Yet now you're asking me to believe you again that you didn't mean it that it was all a mistake. You were
selfish Jasper, that's all it was, utter selfishness.'
I was getting angry now and that was good because it would make this easier and God knows he deserved it. 'So now you're back to wanting
Alice?' Sarcasm didn't become me but it was all I had for him.
He glanced at me 'More than ever.'
I snorted 'You seem to alternate between us, it's like you want what you can't have, Jasper and now you can't have either of us.'
'Yeah, maybe you're right but I know it's her I want, it's her I fell in love with, it's her that I dream of at night, that I wake up crying for, that I can't eat
for hurting over, that I fucking curse myself every day for letting her slip through my fingers.' He sucked in a shaky breath 'I fucking promised myself I
wasn't going to do this.'

Tears were spilling freely from his eyes and I looked away as my subconscious screamed at me. He did this! He did this!
'It was Edward that sparked this,' I said quietly 'or rather me falling in love with him. You knew, you could see it but you didn't ask me about him,
you didn't take the time to see how he is with me. You had this vision of him in your head and you didn't want that for me,' I looked at him 'that I can
understand, I can see why you would be afraid for me, but I can't see where you made the leap from being the one who wanted to save me from a
broken heart to ending up becoming the one who actually did it!'
'You broke my heart Jasper, you broke Alice's heart and you've caused problems between Edward and I that we really don't need!'
'I've loved you for so long,' he said quietly 'I loved being there for you when we were growing up, the way you relied on me and I always thought
that it was you who needed me and I was living up to the task. It was like a drug Bella, you made me feel like the most important person in the world,
nobody else made me feel like you did and it was all my own ego, all along, it was me who needed you, you were my affirmation that I was worth
something. You were the one person who didn't question anything I did, you trusted me completely.'
His fingers were gnawing at the threads again 'It was addictive and I loved it, I loved you and I loved how we were together, I was so proud that
we had that bond, I thought it could never be broken. Then I met Alice and I found something else, it was different, better and everything I wanted.'
His shoulders dipped 'I can't believe it was me who broke it!'
'I've been vain and selfish Bella, I wanted you to need me and only me, I can't apologise for that enough just like I can't justify it or explain it except
to say that I was a selfish prick. All those years of thinking I was being there for you and yet when you were finding what I'd found in Alice I freaked.
Alice tried to tell me he'd be good to you but I refused to see it, all I could see was his behaviour, not the person he might be underneath.' He looked
up at me 'I still can't see it, but I shouldn't need to, I never tried. I should have trusted you and Alice's judgement.'
'I didn't want him to be your first Bella, I really thought he'd just take you and throw you aside like he always does,' He moved but I shot him a
warning glance and he stopped 'I was genuinely scared that he would break your heart and as fucked up as it is, I thought I could be the one.'
He leaned back, his eyes were dry now and a cynical chuckle bubbled in his throat 'This hasn't been easy for me,' his eyes flicked to mine
'realising what an asshole I am. I mean, I actually thought I could be your first and it would just be an extension of our friendship and then we could go
back to normal because I was king of the fucking world and I was put on this planet to be all things to all people. That I would save you from being
ruined by Edward and Alice would never know because it would be just one tiny thing between us. Fucking Narcissus has nothing on me!'
He picked up a small stone and threw it against the wall 'I've spent every night sitting here going over it all but it's done and I can't do a goddamn
thing about it. I know I can't fix it and I know I don't deserve another chance but I just wanted you to know that I'm fucking devastated that I ruined
everything.'
I wiped away a tear 'I am too Jasper, and I'm angry and hurt and sorry that I can't help you, that I don't want to help you because if I do I'll lose
Edward and I can't be without him.' I looked him in the eye 'I love him, he's perfect for me, he's given me so much, so much more than you ever did
because he is selfless, Jazz, he gave me the one thing you never did; confidence.'
'He loves me in a way that makes me grow, he doesn't need me to massage his ego because he'll take care of me and let me take care of him!'
my voice cracked 'you should have listened to Alice and I, you should have taken the time to really see us together, you should have looked harder
and you would have recognised it for being the same thing you had with Alice and then you would have wanted it for me!'
'And for the record, I agree with you, you have been a selfish prick, but despite it all, I'm going to miss you every day of forever.'
I was full out crying now and I knew I had to go because I was dangerously close to throwing myself into his arms. Edward was waiting for me and
his were the only arms I would ever need. 'I know our paths will cross, college, here, other places and it will kill me not to speak to you but it's the
way it has to be. I just want to put this behind us and get on with my life, Jazz, I can't trust you now. I can't give you the chance to do this again.'
I made my way slowly down the ladder blinded by tears, I didn't want to have to go back to Charlie and Edward in this state but I had no choice.
'Bella!' His cry was desperate and I turned around to see him stalking towards me, I was in his arms before I could take another step 'Please
don't hate me, that's all I ask, I'll do it, I'll stay away but please don't hate me.'
Sobs wracked my body, it was the setting, it was all the memories that were surrounding us, all our happy times, everything we'd shared. It didn't
matter that my subconscious was urging me to pull away, that I knew deep down it was now tainted, it was there all around me, the love I'd had for
him and it hurt so much to let it go.
'I won't.' I said and managed to pull away. 'Goodbye, Jazz.'
He was gone. I heard a door close and I stood with tears running down my face. He was gone.
I turned to find Edward standing at the side of the house watching me, he never moved as I hurried towards him, desperate to feel his arms
around me, to tell him that it was over, desperate for him to take me away just like he said when we arrived. Just the two of us, that's all I wanted.
But his arms didn't envelope me they restrained me, he gripped my shoulders and held me away 'Don't!' he hissed. His hands gripped me like a
vice and his face was a mask of barely contained fury 'We were going to talk to him together and I come out here and you're up there with him in
your little fucking childhood cocoon and you've got your arms wrapped around him and it's like I never existed, you two are still doing it...'
I gasped 'Edward, it wasn't like that!'
'How was it Bella?' He spat 'The guy has a major boner for you and you're all snuggled up safely in that fucking tree house and hugging him, is
that how it is Bella? Maybe you like it, maybe you like that he has a boner for you!'
My hand was across his face before I even knew what I was doing, his words stung worse than the red mark materialising on his face and the
sharp heat on my palm. His eyes widened and he released his grip on me and glared down at me.
'This is why I don't do relationships Bella,' he turned away and I saw the keys of my truck in his hand 'it's all bullshit, you put your fucking heart out
there and someone comes along and stomps all over it, I never wanted any of this fucking shit, I thought you were different!'
'No Edward! Wait!' I clutched at thin air as he evaded my grasp.
'Bella!' Charlie was coming down the porch steps and I faltered and it was enough time for Edward to get in the truck.
'Dad... I'
He was backing out of the driveway and I was shouting and Charlie was restraining me.
And I watched helplessly as Edward drove away.
a/n I know I said I wouldn't beg for reviews again (I'm kinda like Edward that way; say one thing do another) but I really really want
feedback on this chapter it wasn't an easy one to write. It would really help me bring the story to a good resolution if you let me know
what you like or don't like about it and why. Pretty please.
I won't wait so long to update the next chapter but I want to wait and see how this one goes down first.
' kay so press the button please.
Chapter 36
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Right! Firstly a MASSIVE thank you for the response to the last chapter 41 reviews in 14 hours, that makes me all kinds of happy! It
was a nice mixed bag of reviews and I appreciate the honesty from the people who didn't like it, I had a feeling it wouldn't be to
everyone's cup of tea.
As a thank you for being so good and answering my call for reviews I'm updating again today since the chapter is already written
and there's no point in sitting on it since so many of you have asked so nicely for a quick update.
Charlie patted my back awkwardly as I cried 'I just said goodbye to Jasper,' I sobbed 'I did it for him, because I know how difficult this has been
for him. He wouldn't let me tell him, not last night and certainly not today!'
'Bella, I don't know too much about this sort of thing, but I do know that young man is just as scared and confused as you are.'
I looked up at him blinking through my tears and he sighed, pressing his lips together in a grim line 'He looked hurt when I told him you'd gone to
see Jasper, he was gonna leave right then and there, I tried to make him wait,' his hand was still patting my back as he spoke 'but he's just too
proud to let you see how much you affect him.'
'I thought you'd be happy to see him go.' I croaked.
'It took a lot for him to come down here and apologise, I respect that and he told me the way he feels about you and I'm not blind, I could see the
way he looked at you, he cares for you, that was as plain as the nose on his face.' He rubbed his finger across his moustache and I could tell he was
going to bring up something neither of us really wanted to talk about 'I'm still concerned about you living with him, it seems a bit too..um... full on.'
'Dad, I'm not a child anymore, I know what I'm doing.' I felt the lump rise in my throat 'or at least I did, I don't even know if he'll be there when I get
back.' The tears started again and I stood up 'I need to get back to Seattle, I need to talk to him.'
Charlie stood up too, 'Okay, I'll drive you.'
I looked up surprised and he clamped his hand to my shoulder 'I'm not going to let you take the bus in this state, just let me call Sue.'
'I'm sorry,' I said weakly, 'you're just back from your honeymoon and I'm laying all this at your door.'
I decided to wait outside while he was on the phone, I stood next to the cruiser kicking stones with the toe of my boot and drumming my fingers
on the roof. I hoped Charlie wouldn't take too long, Edward already had an hour of a head start and even though I highly doubted he would be at the
apartment I wanted to get there as soon as possible.
'Bella?' I looked up to see Jasper walking towards me 'Is everything alright?'
'Just go back in the house.' I said quietly looking back down at my feet.
'I saw Edward leave.'
'It's not your problem, Jasper.' I said sourly and bit my lip against the tremble of threatening tears.
'Did he leave you?' His voice was incredulous and I wanted to scream at him that it was all his fault, but it wasn't, sure, he started the ball rolling
but it had been me who had made all the wrong decisions and led it here.
'I was supposed to wait, we were going to talk to you together,' I looked up at him and he was watching me intently, his grey eyes filled with
sadness 'I should have waited, you owe him an apology too.'
He opened his mouth to speak but I didn't let him. 'Please just go away Jasper, it doesn't concern you anymore.'
He turned to leave as Charlie came out of the house and glared at him, I got into the car and didn't look back as we drove away.
Charlie walked me to the apartment and when we found it empty he argued that he should stay but I somehow convinced him to go. I dialled
Alice's number but there was no answer, I tried his cell phone but it was switched off so I spent the evening alternation between pacing the
apartment and sitting on the sofa crying
When it got late I forced myself to get ready for bed and I sat on the edge of mine rubbing my fingers over the scorch mark on my nightstand. Only
recently I'd joked with him that I would always keep this nightstand because of that mark and what it represented but now it broke my heart.
Unable to stand the loneliness of my own room I went to his and I lay in his bed smelling him off the sheets and crying into his pillow, I knew he
wouldn't come back tonight and the thought that he might never come back turned my blood to ice in my veins. Every time I closed my eyes I could
see his face, his crooked grin, the intense burning of his eyes the first time he made love to me, the soft fullness of his lips after he'd kissed me. All
of it tormented me and sleep only came in brief little spells that offered me no respite at all.
Sunlight streamed in through the open curtains and I woke up lonely and miserable and desperate to speak to him. I called his cell but it was still
switched off and then rather than call Alice's number I decided to go round there, in the hope that that was where he'd sought his solace.
 I walked slowly up the path to Alice's door all the while praying that he was here, that he would listen to me, that he would come home with me
and I'd never feel this bad again. The door opened before I reached it and Alice appeared in the doorway.
'Is he here?' I asked desperately.
She nodded but stayed in the doorway 'Can I talk to you first?'
'Alice, I really need to see him.' I protested as she stood outside and closed the door behind her.
'What the hell happened in Forks, Bella?' She asked taking my arm and leading me to the side of the house.
'I spoke to Jasper and Edward stormed off,' I said 'I called last night why didn't you answer your phone?'
'I was round at Emmett's,' she explained 'that's where he went, Emmett called me, to come get him.'
'Was he drunk?'
She nodded 'He's in there now with the mother of all hangovers,' she sighed and looked at me for a long moment 'Did something happen
between you and Jasper?'
I groaned 'Charlie tore a strip off him for what happened at the wedding and then I went to the tree house to tell him that we can't be friends
anymore.'
Her eyebrows shot up 'Really? So why did Edward leave?'
I shuffled from foot to foot 'He wanted us to talk to Jasper together and then he saw Jasper give me a final hug.' I looked up at her 'That's all it
was, he won't be part of my life anymore.'
She touched my arm 'Are you sure?'
I nodded vociferously 'I can't be without Edward,' I ran my fingers through my hair 'please Alice I need to see him.'
'Do you want to go in alone?'
I nodded and she sat down on the garden bench beneath the window 'I'll be right out here.'
He was sitting on the sofa with his head in his hands, his shoulders were slumped forward and I could see the dark shadow of stubble across his
chin as he lifted his head. He must have expected to see Alice because his eyes widened when they met mine. His eyes were red rimmed and
bloodshot and the dark circles beneath them revealed that his night might just have been as torturous as mine.
He stood up and stalked to the back of the room as if he wanted to put as much distance between us as possible 'Bella, I don't want to do this.'
He said quietly, his voice was weak and raspy. 'I really can't handle going through all this time and time again.'
'Edward, I've been trying to talk to you since the night before last, you wouldn't listen, you didn't give me a chance to explain..'
'Because I don't want to hear it Bella,' He hissed 'I don't want to hear you pour your heart out over him, you made your choice!'
I threw my hands up in exasperation 'Yes I did make my choice; you!'
I turned when I heard a commotion behind me and Jasper appeared in the doorway.
'Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck do you want?' Edward shouted and he turned to me 'I guess I don't need to ask how you got back from
Forks.'
Alice came bustling in behind Jasper looking stricken 'He just pulled up,' she said pushing past him 'I tried to tell him you wouldn't want to see
him.'
'I came here to apologise to you,' Jasper said striding across the room and my heart started to hammer as I noticed Edward's fists clench 'I went
to the apartment and since you weren't there I came here.' He stopped and looked at him curiously before turning to me and Alice. 'Has he been
here all night?'
'What the fuck has that got to do with you?' Edward shouted taking a step forward but Jasper didn't move or turn even though he would have
heard Edward move 'You've caused enough fucking damage so why don't you do us all a favour and fuck off!'
Jasper seemed to be taking no notice at all of Edward as his eyes slid from me to Alice and he stared at her sadly for a long moment before
finally turning 'What are you doing?' he asked Edward and his voice was so quiet that it carried more impact than if he'd have shouted at him.
Edward still looked furious but he made no attempt to speak.
'Did she tell you what we talked about yesterday morning?' Edward didn't answer so he turned to me 'Did you?' I shook my head and he sighed
before facing Edward again 'I fucked up man, I'm sorry what I did to you guys,' he glanced over his shoulder at Alice 'all of you, but don't you fuck
things up with Bella on account of this.'
 'This is none of your business,' Edward ground out 'you've said your fucking piece so just leave!'
'Tell him what we talked about!' Jasper yelled startling me.
Edward's eyes flicked to mine but I couldn't hold his gaze and he looked down as I started to speak 'I told him I don't want to see him anymore,
that I can't speak to him anymore,'
'Can't!' Edward snorted 'Don't let me stop you!'
'That's not what I mean,' I said 'I can't trust him anymore, I can't risk losing you, I can't look at him the same way, I can't speak to him.'
'Look, I know I don't deserve it but if you just let me say my piece I'll leave and that will be the end of it.' Jasper said and when Edward didn't
respond he sat down heavily on the sofa.
'I've had a lot of time to think, I was completely wrong about everything, especially my feelings for Bella.' He glanced nervously at Alice who had
moved to the front of the room and was staring at him with a pained expression 'I didn't see what was right in front of me until it was too late, I
crossed a line, fuck!' He jammed his fingers into his hair 'I crossed so many goddamned lines!'
'She loves you and she wants you and I believe her when she tells me that you're good for her, because I can see it in her eyes. I can see it in
how much she's changed and how desperate she is to do anything to keep it,' he looked at me and sighed before standing up and facing Edward
again 'you can't hold it against her that some of this has been difficult for her, she's fucking doing it, she's putting all her faith in you and that's not
easy. Don't make her pay for my mistakes.'
'Alice put all her faith in you!' Edward ground out.
Jasper rubbed both hands down his face 'You don't think I know that?' He glanced at Alice again and his eyes shimmered slightly 'I fucking blew
it, I know that, it was right there for me, everything I wanted..' his voice cracked slightly '.. I was a dick! I am a dick.. but you don't have to be. Open
your fucking eyes and see what's right in front of you.'
They stood facing each other for a long tense moment but it seemed neither had anything further to say and finally Jasper turned and walked out.
Alice followed.
Edward looked at me at last and took a few tentative steps towards me and I felt my lips begin to tremble as a tear slid down my cheek 'It's true,' I
sighed as the tears began to fall earnestly 'It's only ever been you Edward!'
'Jesus Bella,' He swept me into his arms and clamped his arms around me 'don't cry, I'm sorry!'
He held me while I cried 'I'm sorry to Edward, we should have talked the other night, I should have made you listen to me. You can't just ignore
things and hope they'll go away, we need to talk,' I looked up at him 'it's not bullshit, Edward, relationships aren't bullshit!'
His lips were in my hair and his voice was thick with emotion when he spoke ' I shouldn't have said that Bella, but I don't know what I'm doing
here, I keep reading you all wrong and I've never...'
I squeezed him tight and looked up at him through my tears 'I know, neither have I and I've never been scared of losing anything more in my life,
but I love you Edward and I need you more than I need anyone else, surely that's enough?'
He bent and kissed me gently 'It is!'
'Let's go home.' I breathed against his skin 'I need you. And then we need to talk.'
Alice was standing alone in the hallway staring down at her something in her hands, she started when she heard us coming and stuffed whatever
it was into her pocket and wiped the tears from her cheeks.
'He's gone.' She said quietly.
'Do you want us to stay?' I asked suddenly feeling guilty, for I had experienced a glimpse of her pain last night and really didn't know how she
could stand it.
She shook her head 'I'll be okay.'
'Are you sure?' Edward asked and a brief smile touched her lips.
'I think so.'
He led me round the corner away from our apartment and I looked at him puzzled 'Where are we going?'
He pointed up ahead and I looked up to see my truck. 'I'm sorry I took it.' He said and handed me the keys 'Maybe you should drive, I'm probably
still over the limit from last night.'
'You didn't drive it here?'
'No, I came earlier and Alice wasn't in, I went to the bar across the street and when she still wasn't back I took a cab to Emmett's.'
I took the keys from him and climbed inside as I pulled away from the kerb he touched my knee, 'Let's go downtown to the park.' He suggested. I
crooked an eyebrow at him 'You're right, we really should talk and if I get you into that apartment, talking will be the last thing I want to do,' his fingers
slid up my thigh briefly before he snatched his hand away 'so maybe we need to go somewhere neutral, where there are other people around.'
There was a touch of humour in his voice and it felt so good to hear it.
The park was busy, the sun had brought out the masses and lots of picnic blankets were dotted all over the grass. We found a spot underneath
the shade of a tree and Edward laid his jacket down for me to sit on. We talked for hours stopping only once while Edward went to a vendor and got
us two sodas.
I explained everything to him about how I'd felt jealous when Victoria kissed him and that was what made me realise how much he'd been hurting.
I told him everything Jasper had said to me in the tree house and everything I'd said back to him. I lay with my head in his lap, his fingers stroking my
hair as he admitted, probably more to himself than me, that he'd let his own irrational jealousy cloud his better judgement.
He lifted my hand and linked our fingers 'I guess Jasper's not the only one who got it all wrong.'
I looked up at him 'I meant what I said, I won't see him anymore.'
His head dropped back against the tree and he stared up at the leaves for a long time 'Do you know I actually fucking believed him today when
he said its Alice he wants, but there's a part of me Bella that just can't see past what he did.'
'I know what you mean.' I said quietly.
'I can't do it though.'
I sat up and stroked his cheek until his face finally dipped and his eyes met mine.
'I can't hold you to it.'
My hand fell into my lap.
'I'm not saying, I'm gonna be best buddies with him,' he rifled his fingers through his hair 'Fuck! I don't even know if I could ever like the guy, but I
have to trust you and I do, and seeing him today, the way he was with Alice and the things he said, I actually fucking believe him.' He shook his head
and snorted 'God knows the bastard doesn't deserve it, but I know how hard it would be for me if you asked me not to see Alice anymore and I can't
do that to you.'
I lay back down on his lap and ruminated over what he'd said he went back to stroking my hair and the sounds of children squealing and parents
laughing drifted towards us on the gentle breeze.
'What are you thinking about?' He asked eventually.
'That I appreciate what you said but I don't know what will happen with Jasper,' I looked up at him 'but right now I'm more concerned about me
and you, that's all I want to focus on now.' I looked up at him 'What are you thinking about?'
He grinned 'That I want to take my girl home and make love to her.'
He practically dragged me up the stairs to the apartment planting kisses all over my face, I stumbled a couple of times and he yanked me up into
his arms and carried me to the door. I squealed as he almost dropped me as he fumbled with the key, but he didn't let me down. He kicked the door
closed behind us and looked down at me.
'You're place or mine?'
'Mine is closest!' I grinned and he kicked my bedroom door open before striding inside and practically throwing me down on the bed.
I propped myself up on my elbows and watched as he pulled his shirt over his head and started undoing his belt, he noticed that I wasn't
undressing and stopped 'What's wrong?' He quirked an eyebrow at me.
'Absolutely, nothing.' I smirked 'I'm just enjoying the show.'
My heart swelled and a sudden wave of emotion threatened to engulf me when I thought about how close I'd come to losing him. He slid his belt
from his jeans and folded it over before snapping it loudly, that brought me out of my melancholy and I slid my tongue along my lip as he stepped out
of his jeans and my eyes fell on the tent in his boxers.
He growled 'God, do that again.'
'Do what?' I asked sweetly.
'Lick your lips.'
Finding courage I looked into his eyes 'Lose the boxers and I will.'
His eyes rolled back slightly and then fixing on my mouth he slowly pulled them down, my eyes dipped and my tongue trailed a wet path slowly
across my lip. I sat up as he moved towards me overcome by the need to show him I knew what I wanted and for him to trust me on it.
He kneeled down at the side of the bed 'Let's get you undressed.' His gaze was heated and arousal coiled through me as we worked together
and I was quickly as naked as he was.
He stretched out beside me and I slid my fingers beneath his erection and tickled the hair below his navel 'I love it when you do that.' He groaned
and then he hissed as I gripped his shaft and leaned over taking him into my mouth.
I held him tightly and worked him with my mouth, swirling my tongue, hollowing my cheeks and eventually grazing him lightly with my teeth. His
fingers twisted in my hair and he muttered intermittent expletives between panting breaths. Remembering his reactions the last time I started to hum
around him and I felt his hips begin to move gently.
His grip tightened in my hair and he uttered my name a few times but I kept going, I wanted this, I wanted him to trust me and more than anything I
wanted to give him this pleasure. His voice grew louder, his grip tighter and his movements more vigorous and I knew he was trying to warn me but I
kept going until I felt the change, I felt him stiffen at the same time he swelled in my mouth and with a loud groan he came.
I kissed my way up his body and rested my head on his heaving chest, his heart was thumping like a jack hammer and I grinned as he tangled
his fingers in my hair and gently tugged so that I had to look up at him.
'That was amazing.' He whispered and I smiled because he didn't say that I didn't need to do it or any of the other things he might have said if he
hadn't understood. But he did.
'Thank you.' I whispered.
And I understood now why he thanked me the first time I let him do that to me.
a/n Thoughts? You know how happy they make me!
I'll update again on the weekend but I'm going to see Eclipse so it'll probably look something like this:
aidslkf nvrfij nfkdsfj agfoirjgf afd;vj a;fdlij a! UNNNFFFF!
Chapter 37
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Thanks for the reviews guys, the 1000 still evades me but we'll get there.
Sorry in advance if there are any mistakes in this, I did go over it last night but I don't have time to give it another once over this
morning because *sucks in a deep calming breath* I'm just off out to see ECLIPSE ! woo hoo! I'll be channelling my inner fangirl all
day!
Hope you enjoy.
'Again! You weren't kidding when you said you knew your way around an engine!' Jacob grinned at Rosalie as he slammed the hood shut.
For the past hour I had been sitting in the corner sipping my coffee watching with great incredulity as they worked together to replace some plugs
or something. Rosalie grinned back at Jacob and I smirked at the large streak of grease which marred her otherwise flawless face.
She rubbed her oily hands on a rag 'I can't believe you managed to get the parts for it so easily.'
'It helps if you have lots of contacts.' Jacob shrugged.
'So do you get a lot of business?'
'I do okay.' he said moving to the sink and picking up the soap, he winked at me as he turned on the tap, I'd been all but invisible in the corner but
I didn't mind, it was just so interesting to watch the way they worked together enjoying the shared passion for what they were doing.
'You know my dad knows quite a few people out this way, he could probably send a lot of work your way.' Rosalie offered taking the soap from
him and joining him at the sink. 'I mean, if you wanted to do it full time?'
'Sure!' Jacob nodded eagerly, his interest clearly piqued 'I mean, that's what I'm aiming for, you know, to get enough business so I can hire
bigger premises and set myself up legitimately.'
'This isn't legit?' She mocked lightly.
'Sure it is! But it's a two bit set up, I want the real deal, so I can quit at the hospital and do what I really love.' His cheeks coloured a little and
Rosalie laughed.
They launched into another discussion about things I had no understanding of and I drained my coffee cup before standing up. 'Well, If you're
finished with her,' I grinned at Jacob 'I really need to get going, so I'll leave you two to it.'
Rosalie frowned at me and I realised she'd misunderstood me 'When I said 'her' I meant the truck,' I explained 'Jacob likes to refer to vehicles in
the female gender.'
'Most people do.' Rosalie pointed out.
'So where are you rushing off to?' Jacob asked as I took the keys from him.
'Edward has arranged a surprise date for tonight,' I blushed 'he won't tell me where we're going but I'm under strict orders to be home by five.'
Jacob opened the garage doors and I pulled the truck slowly out onto the driveway, Rosalie was already poking around under another hood as
he leaned against the truck door.
'I'm glad you finally came down, I was beginning to worry that the truck would give out on you.'
It had been a month since I'd last seen Jacob, we'd talked on the phone a couple of times when he'd called to ask when I was coming for the
plugs and I was ashamed to admit that I just hadn't gotten round to coming down.
'Does Rosalie come around a lot?' I asked lowering my voice.
Jacob's brow wrinkled a little but his smile didn't falter 'Yeah, she does, she seems to like it here, I can't really get rid of her.'
'You looked to me like you two get on okay.'
He looked back and seeing that she was still bent under a hood he turned back and his voice was even lower 'Actually, today's the first time
she's really talked to me, normally she just works with me and only spoke to ask me to pass her something.' He snuck another look 'She's kinda
bossy at times, I mean, this is my place and I've had to remind her more than once.' He rubbed the back of his head 'She knows her stuff and she
just appears and works for free, so I can't really complain too much but it gets so annoying. And not to mention her boyfriend is built like a brick shit
house, so I daren't upset her.'
I glanced at Rosalie 'I don't think she needs Emmett to fight her battles.'
He chuckled 'I'm already a little scared of her Bella, don't make it any worse.'
 I put the truck in gear 'Look I really have to go, I need to stop at the shop and I don't want to be late.'
'Okay, well you have a great time tonight,' He said pushing away from the truck 'and don't leave it so long the next time before you come down
here.'
'You should come to us,' I said and a warmth curled through my belly when I said 'us' 'I'll call you, you can come for dinner.'
He nodded and I waved as I turned the corner.
Edward had asked me to buy some wine and plastic cups, so I had the feeling whatever we were doing it would be outside. I parked the truck
outside the liquor store and bought two bottles of wine before heading to the shop next door in search of paper cups. I was perusing the aisles
when I heard someone call my name. I turned to see Leah walking towards me.
'Hey.' I said as she reached me, I noticed she was wearing a name badge 'Do you work here now?'
She nodded 'This is my third week.'
'That's good,' I said 'are you enjoying it.'
She shrugged 'It's not too bad, it beats being stuck at home.' Her eyes dimmed and I frowned. I wanted to ask her how things were but I didn't
feel it was my place so I let it slide.
'So were you down seeing Jacob?' She asked looking down at the floor.
'Yeah, he was putting some new plugs in the truck for me.'
'Is that blonde girl still working with him?'
'Don't you see much of him now?' I countered her question with one of my own.
She shook her head 'I've been trying to sort myself out, I thought about what you said, you know, about me not being fair on him and I've been
trying to give him some space while I decide what I want to do.'
Her candour surprised me and the way she looked at the floor as she spoke made me feel like she was talking to herself as well as me.
'Rosalie is there purely for the cars.' I said and her head shot up, her surprise evident 'It's true,' I smirked 'she has this thing for fixing engines and
don't tell him I said this, but Jacob is a little scared of her so he lets her come down and help him out.'
She nodded her head slightly and smiled 'That sounds like Jacob.'
She glanced up the aisle 'I should probably get back,' she glanced at my empty basket 'what were you looking for?'
'Plastic cups.'
'There down this end,' she said pointing 'I'll walk with you.' I followed her to the other side of the shop and picked up a pack and turned to thank
her 'I'm leaving Paul.' She said in a woosh of breath.
'Oh!' What do I say to that? Do I say it's good? I'm sorry?
She blushed a little 'I'm sorry, I didn't mean to embarrass you, I just wanted to tell you since you're the one who got me thinking. I haven't told
Jacob yet, I'm looking for somewhere to live first and then once the dust settles,' she shrugged 'maybe...'
I touched her shoulder 'I think you're being very brave.'
'It was good to see you.' She smiled sadly and then jerked her thumb over her shoulder 'I better go.'
I watched her go for a moment before hurrying to the checkout with the cups, I thought about Leah all the way home and how strange it had been
that she'd opened up to me like that. It seemed taking control of her own life had really changed her for the better.
'It's five thirty!' Edward called from the bathroom as I scurried into the apartment and dropped the wine and cups on the kitchen counter.
'I'm sorry.' I called heading for the bathroom 'I met Leah, she's working in the...' I stopped in my tracks, he'd drawn the blackout blind and the
darkness was punctuated by lots of tiny candles littered all over the surfaces and they flickered maniacally when I swept into the room.
'Oh no!' My hands flew up to my mouth 'I'm so sorry.'
Edward was sitting in the bath 'It's fucking freezing in here.' He grimaced 'And I look like a prune from the waist down.'
'Really?' I gasped.
He chuckled 'No! I was watching from the window I saw the truck pull up, but I did have to refill the bath twice with warmer water, your tardiness is
disappointing.' Bizarrely he said the word 'tardiness' in a mock British accent and it made me laugh.
 'I thought we were going out?'
'We are,' He smiled 'I just thought you'd want a bath first and it seemed like the perfect opportunity to try this romantic shit.'
I giggled 'You know it's not romantic if you say it like that, don't you?'
'You said you weren't the romantic type.' He pointed out lightly.
'I guess you're showing me that I am,' I looked around the room 'this really is lovely.'
'Get your butt in here,' He growled 'I don't want to have to top up the hot water again.'
I started to undress.
'Slower.' He ordered settling back against the rim of the tub and watching me intently.
I bit my lip as I slowly peeled off my clothes and then gingerly stepped into the bath with him. He backed up and opened his legs and I settled
between them, there wasn't a lot of space but that just meant that we were tightly pressed up against each other so I didn't really mind.
He smoothed my hair away from my shoulder and kissed it gently 'Pass me the shampoo.' He murmured as his hands slid to the front and he
brushed my breasts as he held them out.
I shivered as he gave one a gentle squeeze as he brought his hands back behind me again. I could feel his hot erection pressed against my
lower back and he ground it in to me as he washed my hair. As he rinsed it his hands went everywhere the water went, everywhere, and it wasn't
long before I was lying back panting against his chest.'
We sloshed around a bit switching positions and I washed his hair and when my hand dipped below the water and stroked him, he quickly
announced that it was time to get out of the bath. I grumbled in disappointment.
He got out first and held his hand out to me, I got up and stepped over the rim and he pulled me close 'I want to be inside you when I come.' He
explained.
The air was cold on my skin and goose bumps sprung to life all over my body, Edward noticed and rubbed warming circles on my back and
arms 'You're cold.' He observed.
'I'm sure you'll warm me up.' I said trying to throw him my best Coquettish grin.
He turned me and pressed his chest to my back before grabbing my hips and pressing the rest of his body tight against mine 'I want you like
this.' He breathed and his tongue traced the shell of my ear, his breath fanned down my neck and I shivered again but not from the cold.
He bent me forward slightly and I grabbed the sink unit for balance, he snaked a hand between my legs and slid his finger between my lips
before I felt his rigid cock probing there too.
'Do you want me?' His words were carried on an inward breath and I loved hearing how desperate he was.
'Always.' I answered wiggling slightly and then he plunged inside and all coherent thought was gone as his hips immediately started to piston.
I had to stand on my tiptoes to make the angle easier for him but the loud groans I was rewarded with turned me on even more. He leaned
forward and hooked his hand under my leg and placed it on the edge of the bath.
'Oh God!' I moaned as he seemed to fill me deeper and his warm skin pressed against my back.
'Do you like that baby?' He groaned in my ear 'Do you feel how deep that is?'
'Oh yes!' I shouted 'I want you to go harder.'
He pounded into me 'Like this?'
'Harder!' I yelled and then his hips were slamming against me and I felt the heat spiralling in my belly.
'You're a great little fuck, Bella!' He grunted increasing his speed 'I love fucking you, baby! Oh! Come for me, please!'
I whimpered and my forehead dropped to the porcelain as my orgasm ripped through me, 'Oh God yes!' I hollered and then I felt him buck wildly
as he too found his release.
He rubbed my thigh gently whispering over and over that he loved me as he guided my leg back to the floor and his lips planted loving butterfly
kisses all over my back, I turned and stepped into his embrace. 'I think I need another bath.' I sighed contentedly.
'No time.' He said grabbing the washcloth.
'When are you going to tell me where we're going?' I grumbled as we waited at the traffic lights. Edward was driving the truck and a bag lay at
our feet containing the wine and cups and a tartan blanket. God knows where he found that monstrosity but I had an inkling it belonged to someone
in his family.
 He swung left at the lights and I noticed a lot of people walking in the direction of the park 'We're going to the park?' I asked turning to him and he
nodded 'What's on?'
His eyes sparkled 'An open air concert.'
'Really?' I clapped my hand with glee. 'Who's playing?'
'Just some local bands,' he said as he scanned the street for a parking space 'it's free and I don't even know if they'll be any good but I thought it
would be nice to sit outside and drink wine and listen to music.'
It sounded lovely and when he finally parked I jumped out of the truck eagerly while Edward grabbed the bag. He slung his arm around my
shoulder and I slipped my hand into his back pocket giving his ass a light squeeze as we walked.
'See that's why we had that romantic-ish bath,' he grinned waggling his eyebrows 'it relieved the tension, otherwise I'd back you up against the
nearest wall and end up getting arrested.'
I squeezed again and he laughed pressing his lips to my temple.
The throngs making their way to the park grew thicker the closer we got and I almost missed them as we passed through the gates. 'Isn't that
Jacob and Alice?' I craned my neck 'and Rosalie and Emmet?'
Edward threw his hand in the air and waived and I knew instantly that he had pre planned this 'Another reason for the romantic shit,' he whispered
'we're hanging out tonight.'
I didn't mind at all, for my money, we didn't do enough of this and at the same time I realised why he'd insisted on 5 O'clock, that had been the
private part of our date.
I swatted Jacob's arm when we reached them 'You didn't say anything today!' I accused.
'Edward wanted it to be a surprise, though God knows why he'd think you'd want all us tagging along.'
I linked my arm in his 'I think it's a great idea, we don't hang out enough as it is.'
Edward let me go and moved towards Alice and I knew I'd get my chance to speak to her later.
'I met Leah today,' I ventured 'she's got a job.'
'Yeah, I heard.' He said and I noted the tension in his voice.
'She's giving you space,' I said 'and I think you have me to blame for that.' He quirked an eyebrow and his smile disappeared 'That night we had
dinner at yours we had words,' I felt my cheeks heat with shame 'I sort of told her she was being unfair on you.'
'You what?' He gasped and Edward turned and shot us an enquiring glance, I shook my head and he frowned but then reluctantly turned back to
Alice 'What do you mean sort of, you either did or you didn't.' He'd lowered his voice again.
'Look, I'm sorry, I know it wasn't my place to say, but she came across all jealous and it just got me thinking, what if I had been interested in you
that way, she really didn't have the right to try to scare me off.' He was askance 'I know! I know! I'm a nosey meddling pain in the ass, but I really
didn't mean to cause any harm.'
He sighed and rubbed his hand roughly over his scalp 'Yes you are a pain in the ass, Bella,' a slow smile crept across his face 'but I get the
feeling she's moving in my direction,' he shot me a glance 'did she say anything to you about what her plans are?'
I nodded 'But I don't think she wants me to tell you,' I tried to hide my revealing smile but failed 'I think she'll talk to you soon.'
'You know you just totally sold her out with that smile!' He teased.
I swatted his arm.
He sighed 'It's early days though!' and his insecurity was plain for all to see.
Even though the park was busy we found a spot and lay all the blankets out to form one big one.
We all spread out and I was glad for Alice that we didn't pair up as couples, Edward sat with Emmett and Jacob and I sat beside Alice. Rosalie
leant forward and looked at me.
'How's that truck running?' She asked.
'It's great.' I replied a little stiltedly, it seemed Jacob wasn't the only one intimidated by her.
'Cool!' she said and leant back propped on her elbows, she nudged Edward with her feet 'Is that wine I see in your bag?'
The concert was in full swing and the wine was flowing. The bands were actually pretty good and I sat tapping my toes as I sipped my wine, every
now and then Edward would glance back at me and smile and it was only natural that I would gravitate towards him. Eventually I was sitting directly
behind him rubbing my fingers through his hair.
 Emmett spotted us and tipped his head way back to look at Rosalie 'Dude!' He yelled a little too loudly 'How come you don't do that shit to me?'
and even though his head was practically upside down he still managed to jerk it in my direction.
Rosalie grinned 'Because you don't have sex hair like Edward.'
His head snapped up and he looked curiously at Edward before turning back to Rosalie 'He only has sex hair because girls are always running
their fucking fingers through it!' He stiffened and shot me a concerned glance 'Sorry.' He grimaced.
'Don't be,' I smiled 'it's my sex hair now!'
Edward turned his head and kissed my wrist which had slipped down in the process.
I turned to see Alice and Jacob staring intently at the stage and I shuffled backwards and sat nearer Alice 'The bands are good.' I remarked for
want of a better opener.
She nodded 'I'm glad I came, I'm sick of the sight of the inside of my house.'
'You should have said, we could've gone out.'
'I needed to be by myself, but it's starting to get a little bit lonely there now' she admitted and I noticed that she was fingering a strange looking
plastic ring 'I think I'm coming out the other side now.'
'I'm glad.' I smiled.
'Have you seen him?'
I should have known it was coming and for the first time since everything had blown up, I was pleased that she'd brought it up, but that was quickly
replaced by regret that I had nothing to tell her.
'Now that college has finished for the summer, no. I spoke to Charlie, he's back in Forks but I haven't been down there lately.'
She sighed and put the ring in her pocket 'Well, I hope someday you two can get past this.'
I could have said the same, but I bit my tongue.
'What's with the ring?' I asked staring pointedly at her pocket.
She shook her head 'It's silly.' She glanced at the others spread out around us 'Maybe I'll tell you some other time.'
I nodded but it didn't take a genius to figure it had something to do with Jasper.
a/n Right there is probably only about 3 more chapters at the most left, I'd love to hear any opinions on how the story has panned
out. I have already plotted out the ending I'm just now sure how long it's going to take me to get there. Keep getting sidetracked by
Edward's newly emerging dirty mind.
Anyhoo! Please leave me something to come home to!
x
Chapter 38
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
It's celebration time! Busted the 1000 and then some! I'm over the moon! Thanks so much, I haven't even read all the reviews yet I
just wanted to get this chapter out first and the next couple are already playing out in my head. Sadly that means the finish line is in
sight but it's been great.
Thanks so much to the people who have gone back to the beginning and reviewed each chapter and to youngandmature who has
made me go back and look at EVERY chapter from a slightly different angle, it's been fun. Thanks to the lurkers who are making
themselves known, hell, I'll be here all day, THANKS to every single mf'ing one of you!
'You know, I've been thinking,' Edward said, he was propped on one elbow still in bed, watching me dress 'you always seem to be on the go
these days and I'll be starting at the hospital soon, I feel like we'll hardly see each other.'
I sat down on the bed to tie my shoes and he instantly grabbed me and pulled me down for a kiss, I revelled in the musky morning smell of him as
I felt the scruff of his beard rasp along my chin. 'I wish I didn't have to go out today, but I'm meeting Alice and I have an appointment.'
He raised his eyebrow 'Appointment?'
'At the beauty salon.' I smiled and his eyes widened in understanding.
'Ah, I wondered why you were wearing a skirt.' His hand slid up my thigh and into my panties 'You still feel pretty smooth to me.'
I groaned 'I'll be late.'
He moved over me bunching up my skirt 'I'll be quick.'
Alice was outside the cafe by the time I got there 'I'm sorry, I'm late,' I said out of breath from the jog from the parking lot 'I had to take a quick
shower.'
She eyed my sweat pants 'I see you came prepared this time.'
I looked down 'Yeah, I was intending to wear a skirt,' I held back my smile 'but it needed ironed.'
She checked her watch 'It would have been nice to have a coffee first.'
'We could have lunch after?' I offered and she nodded linking her arm through mine and leading the way to the salon.
Afterwards we went to a lovely restaurant for lunch, the kind that had fresh flowers and linen table cloths and really wasn't the type of place you
should wear sweats to but Alice insisted.
'So Edward's starting at the hospital soon?' Alice said while we waited for our appetisers.
'Yeah,' I smiled 'I think he's really looking forward to it and I'm happy for him, but I'll see a lot less of him, so I can't say I'm looking forward to that.'
'Well, don't be sitting around the apartment lonely, you know you can call me or come visit anytime.'
'Actually, I've been thinking,' I hadn't actually pitched it to Edward yet but since we were on the subject 'Edward and I...um... sleep in the same bed
every night, so we don't really use both bedrooms.' I paused while the waiter laid our food in front of us.
'So you're thinking of renting the room out?' She seemed surprised.
'Well, I wouldn't normally, I mean the money will come in handy but that's not why I'm considering it.' I sipped my soup 'I was thinking of asking
Leah if she wanted to rent the room, just until she found somewhere else. She really needs to move out now that she's decided to end her
marriage.'
Alice stared at me 'That's really sweet of you Bella, but don't you think you and Edward need your privacy,' a small smile crept across her lips 'I
mean the walls in that apartment are pretty thin and think of all the things you couldn't do with a lodger there.'
I blushed but laughed 'It probably wouldn't be for long and Edward will be working a lot..'
'Which means the time you do have will be all the more precious.'
My shoulders slumped 'I guess you're right but I just really want to help Leah, you know?'
She nodded 'I have two spare rooms and I'm rattling around in that house on my own so maybe she'd like to rent one from me.'
My eyebrows shot up 'Really?'
'Sure, it would be nice to have some company.' Her eyes darkened.
 I sucked in a deep breath 'Look, I know we haven't really talked about this much and I'm probably the last person you want to open up to, but if
you ever need me I'm here for you.'
Her eyes dropped to the table 'I know Bella, but I'm really starting to get it together, and I don't know why I didn't think of renting out a room before,
it really would help to share with someone again.' She looked up 'I had a house mate when I first moved in, Angela moved out just before I met
Jasper.'
The conversation steered away from Jasper and she told me about how Angela had been her college roommate and she moved to Europe
when she got a job as a designer for a fashion firm.
'Of course she's wildly successful now and I'm still stuck here in Seattle.' She finished with a flourish. 'Shall we get the check?' She drew her
wallet out of her purse and the plastic ring I had seen her with at the concert fell onto the table.
We both stared at it and then she scooped it up and laughed nervously.
'Are you ready to tell me about it?' I asked gently, unable to hold back.
She sighed and twirled the ring between her fingers 'I don't know if Jasper told you, but we talked about marriage once.' I shook my head and
she swallowed 'I joked that if he ever proposed to me I wouldn't accept anything less than a huge black diamond.' She shrugged her shoulders as if
it was something insignificant when it clearly wasn't 'He said I'd be more likely to get a lump of plastic than a black diamond.'
'So he gave you that as a joke?'
Tears shimmered in her eyes 'No, he gave me it that day he came to apologise to Edward,' her tears brimmed and one slid down her cheek, she
wiped it away harshly and sniffed loudly 'he said he wanted me to keep it as a reminder that I should never settle.' She rooted around in her purse
and pulled out a tissue and dabbed her eyes 'He said, he was my lump of plastic and I deserved to go out there and find my black diamond.'
She looked up at me with pained eyes 'I was so happy with him Bella, I don't know if I'll ever find that again.' She dropped the ring into her purse
'The thing that hurts the most is that, despite everything, I still can't make myself feel like it was all plastic, it felt real to me and I gave him my heart
and I still don't think I have it back yet.'
'Alice, I'm so sorry!' I said taking her hand.
'No,' she hissed seemingly snapping out of it 'don't be, it's alright. I'll be alright.' She patted my hand before sliding hers out from under mine 'I'm
getting there, Bella, I really am, he did the right thing giving me this because as much as it hurts it helps me at the same time.'
There was nothing I could say to that, she was getting through it on her own and as much as I wanted to help her I feared that I would make it
worse if I tried.
We paid the check and left and before I headed home she asked me to contact Leah and set up a meeting if she was interested in renting a
room from Alice. When I got home Edward was on the phone so I put my things away in my room before making my way to the kitchen to make
some coffee.
His hand snaked out an arm as I passed and coiled it around my waist pulling me to him, the person on the other end of the line must have been
talking because he covered the mouth piece and bent to give me a kiss.
'Yeah, next weekend would be cool.' He said pulling back abruptly and then covering the mouthpiece again he bent and kissed me deeply, his
tongue swirled into my mouth and I moaned a little before feeling the smile on his lips, he stood up straight and pressed a finger to his grinning lips
warning me to be quiet.
'Okay,' he spoke again 'I'll come over in the week and pick up the keys,' he paused and listened, 'sure, I'll bring Bella,' he winked at me 'dinner
sounds good, okay, thanks, u-huh, I'll see you then.'
He replaced the receiver and I turned towards the kitchen 'Where do you think you're going?' He chuckled pulling me back and covering my
mouth with his. His kisses were hard and deep and incredibly arousing 'How do you feel?' His fingers fluttered lightly between my legs over the
sweatpants. 'Are you sore?'
'Yeah, but it's not as bad as last time,' I pulled his hand up 'this time I was better prepared,' I pulled back and smiled at him 'though it would have
been better again if I'd worn my skirt.' I looked at him pointedly 'I had to change before I left.'
He practically growled at me and buried his face in my neck pulling my pelvis hard against his erection 'That's too bad, I've been horny all day
thinking about you walking around with that skirt on and no panties! '
I gasped a little and he chuckled 'I'd love it if you'd do that for me sometime.' His lips nibbled gently on my neck 'maybe next weekend?'
I was reminded of his phone conversation 'What's happening next weekend?'
He pulled back 'I'm taking you to Carlisle and Esme's cabin, it's up near Taylor Creek it's very private,' he traced his tongue along my bottom lip
'we could spend the entire weekend naked, nobody's ever up there.'
I quirked an eyebrow at him 'Naked?'
'Yeah,' his eyes were smouldering 'imagine it just you, me and mother nature and we'd be at the mercy of each other's lustful urges.'
 I giggled 'My! We are horny today!'
His fingers dipped into my waistband 'You got that right!' he groaned pulling me towards his room. As soon as we were inside he pulled my
sweats and panties down and knelt at my feet helping me step out of them. He was directly in front of me and staring at the beautician's handy work.
'You look a little red, baby,' He breathed blowing on me and my knees buckled 'Sit down,' he ordered and I did 'open your legs, oh yeah, that's
just the best view on earth,' he groaned sliding his hands up my thighs and moving closer, his eyes raised and they were so very dark 'want me to
kiss it all better?'
I nodded with a whimper and let me head drop back onto the bed as he blew on me again. He was so gentle and loving as his tongue laved me
all over, I writhed beneath him as I tried to get more friction but he was intent on taking his time. He put my feet on his shoulders and spread my
knees impossibly wide and when I propped myself up to look at him my insides clenched when our eyes met.
At last he started to work faster and he used his fingers too and my whole lower half was quivering and straining beneath him, he started to hum
and groan and it was my undoing and within seconds I was yelling out my release as the longest orgasm he'd ever given me rocked through me.
He slipped up between my legs, still holding them beneath the knees and asked me to look at him, I did and his eyes rolled back as he slowly
slipped inside me, he paused as my muscles relaxed around him and then lifted my knees over his shoulders and slid in deeper, my eyes rolled
back this time.
'Oh!' I moaned as he pulled out and slid back in to the hilt again.
He strained forward and kissed my lips before pulling back, his eyes burned into mine as he stepped up the pace and his hips rolled against me.
His hands slipped beneath me and my moans became louder as the pleasure intensified.
'That's it baby,' He rasped 'don't hold back, let me hear you.'
It was almost too much, he was too deep, his eyes were too intense, his words too arousing and I couldn't stand it, I felt like I was going to
explode and it built and built until he was yelling my name and I was reduced to a quivering wreck.
He eased my legs down and rubbed my thighs gently while his lips fluttered over my neck and collar bone. 'I just can't get enough of you baby.' He
breathed and then his fingers were in my hair pulling it back and he was looming over me 'I love you, Bella, God, I fucking love you so much and I
thank God every day that Alice suggested this room for me.'

Tears filled my eyes but an emotional giggle bubbled in my throat 'Me too!' I blushed 'It feels like you brought me to life Edward, I never felt alive
till I met you.'
He rolled us over pulling me against his chest 'When I start at the hospital, I'm gonna miss you every night I'm not here,' He sighed pressing his
lips to my hair 'but I promise I'll make it worthwhile every time I'm home.'
'I guess Alice was right.' I mused.
'How so?'
'I had been thinking about asking you if we would agree to renting a room to Leah,' I propped myself up and looked down at him 'she's working
really hard to turn her life around and she needs a place to stay.' He smiled affectionately at me and I continued 'Alice thought we'd need our privacy
so she suggested that Leah could rent one of her spare rooms.'
He squeezed my shoulder 'You never think twice do you?' He smiled 'when it comes to helping someone, you're right in there.'
'Jacob said I'm a meddling pain in the ass,' I laughed 'Well I said it first, but he agreed.'
He laughed 'And I bet he's glad you are.'
'I guess I just want everyone to be as happy as we are, I really hope he and Leah can make it work, I don't know if I could live with that level of
longing without being able to act on it.'
He hugged me closer and I melted into his embrace 'Me neither.' He whispered.
The following day Edward came down to pick me up from work as we were going to see Jacob and then I was going to find Leah and let her
know about Alice's offer. I'd expected him to just wait for me outside but instead he came into the Deli half an hour before my shift was due to finish
and sat at a table directly opposite the counter.
When he sat down he made sure he was facing the counter and the way he stared at me made me blush. I'd never been very close to any of the
girls I worked with, I'd never taken the time to get to really know them and our conversations mainly revolved round customers or little snippets about
the weather or the news. We only ever talked in that trivial way people use to fill the silence between meaningful conversations, only we never got
round to having the meaningful conversations.
'Holy Fuck!' Francine hissed 'D'you see that guy that just came in.' I heard her low whistle and turned to see her and Amy ogling him.
'He is fuck hot!' Amy said and I chanced a quick glance at her over my shoulder, she too was practically drooling.
 I stayed rooted to the spot while they did this strange shuffle as they pulled at each other in their efforts to reach Edward first, Amy won out and
approached Edward while Francine scowled at the side of the counter.
Amy spoke to Edward and he turned towards her looking up and when his lips curled up into a small smile I wished I could hear what he was
saying. When he stopped speaking Amy's head snapped round in my direction and she frowned at me before stalking to the counter.
She glanced at Francine before addressing me 'He wants you to serve him!' She hissed.
It wasn't easy hiding my smirk but I decided to play Edward's little game and moved slowly around the counter before walking towards him. He
didn't smile at me and I was intensely aware that Francine and Amy were watching me. There was only one other occupied table and that was in the
far corner so there really wasn't anything else to occupy their attention.
'What are you doing here this early?' I asked quietly when I reached him.
'Now is that any way to treat your customers?' He mocked dryly. He glanced over my shoulder 'I take it your colleagues don't know who I am?'
I shook my head 'I don't talk about my private life in here.'
He glanced at the man and woman sitting in the corner, he was reading the paper and she was texting on her phone. Edward snaked a finger out
and touched my skirt 'I want you to serve me.'
I swallowed 'What can I get you.'
His eyes smouldered as they met mine 'I'd like a cappuccino,' he said and I made a show of writing it down on my pad even though I didn't need
to, I turned to go get it 'and your panties.' He added stopping me in my tracks.
I looked over my shoulder at him to protest but he merely grinned at me and nodded. I made my way to the counter on shaky legs and I could
have killed him when Francine and Amy converged on me.
'Do you know him?' Francine asked as I started on the Cappuccino 'What's his name? Does he have a girlfriend?'
I fumbled with the machine a little 'Yes, Edward and yes.' I said biting my lip and wondering if I could really go through with remove my panties at
work and giving them to him. I risked a peak over the machine and he was watching me intently.
'Oh my god!' Amy gasped 'He's your boyfriend.'
Pride flowed through my veins and I felt like squealing YES! at the top of my lungs but instead I merely nodded and bit my lip to hide my smug
grin. 'Would you mind making the Cappuccino for me, please, I just need to nip to the toilet.'
Amy was still staring at Edward but then she snapped out of it 'What?.. Oh, yeah sure!'
I dashed to the loo and stood with my back to the stall door breathing heavily, my skirt was knee length so no one would ever know but it just
seemed so illicit. I lifted my skirt up and pulled my panties down already feeling the first stirrings of arousal. How clever he is!
I stepped out of them and balled them up before slipping them into the sleeve of my shirt, they were clearly obvious but I hoped that anyone would
think perhaps it was a handkerchief. Steeling myself I stepped out of the stall, washed my hands and made my way back to the counter.
I glanced at the clock I had twenty minutes of my shift left and no other customers had come in, Amy was waiting with the Cappuccino 'Did you
want me to take it to him?' She enquired, it was the first time she'd been anything other than disinterested in my presence and I had to admit that I
liked the change in her demeanour.
'No, that's okay,' I said taking it from her 'thanks for making it.'
I stood at his table and placed the coffee in front of him 'And?' He enquired holding his hand out.
I knew we were being watched so I turned my back a little further away from the counter and held my arm out to him, he looked down and then his
fingers slid under my sleeve and he pulled the panties out being careful to keep them bundled into a ball. He held them in his hand and grinned at
me before he put them in his pocket and then took a nonchalant sip of his coffee.
'Will that be all Sir?' I asked raising an eyebrow.
He set his cup down 'Sir?' He grinned 'I like the sound of that.' He waggled his eyebrows and I giggled 'It's enough for now to know you are
walking around here without underwear and I'm the only one who knows, but' he added darkly 'I'll be wanting more later.'
I started when the couple in the corner suddenly got up scraping their chairs on the floor, I moved to their table and started clearing the dishes. I
deliberately bent over more than I needed to and I felt a surge of excitement rush through me. The twenty minutes flew by and Edward's eyes never
left me. I was glad it wasn't my turn to cash up because I couldn't wait to get away.
Edward took my hand as soon as I hung my apron up and grabbed my bag and I followed him out the door. 'I thought we were going to Jacob's?'
I asked as soon as we were outside.
'We are' He smiled 'and don't worry you'll get your panties back before we get there, I just wanted you to have a little taster of what it feels like to
have a sexy little secret just between you and I.'
 I leaned over and kissed him 'I like it.' I whispered 'It makes me feel sexy,' I pulled back and cupped his face 'though, I don't know if I'd want to do
it at work again.' I grinned.
He chuckled as we reached the truck and backed me up against it, it was parked in the far corner of the lot and afforded us a little bit of privacy.
He leaned into me and kissed my temple.
'I wish I could keep these.' He whispered and I looked down to see him holding out my panties. He bent down and I glanced around before
stepping into them.
He slid them up my legs and his hands cupped my butt as he pulled them all the way up, his eyes glinted wickedly but then he let my skirt slide
back down and pecked the corner of my mouth.
I pulled him closer and slid my tongue along his bottom lip 'Maybe we should just go straight home.'
He curled his fingers into my hair and pressed his erection into my hip 'Sounds like a plan but I've already told Jacob to expect us, Billy is
cooking for us.'
I groaned but it was a half hearted groan, I didn't really mind at all.
Edward drove and we stopped to pick up wine and some beers for Billy en route.
As it turned out the meal became a celebration as Jacob surprised us with the news that he had secured a lease on new premises, handed in
his notice at the hospital and was finally ready to start up his own full time business. Billy was clearly proud of his son and admitted that he'd drank a
few more beers than he should have.
He spent the latter part of the evening congratulating Jacob and constantly referring to how lovely it was to see Edward and I so in love, I'd
blushed so much I felt like I was going to self combust. When Edward and Billy were deep in conversation I approached Jacob and asked him for
Leah's number. He looked at me quizzically.
'Alice has offered to rent her a room and I wanted to call her and see if I could maybe meet her tonight.'
Jacob gave me the number but before I dialled I had to ask him one thing 'This isn't going to cause problems for you. You know, with Paul.'
He shook his head 'Bella, she's leaving him because their relationship hasn't been right for years,' he looked at me 'I know maybe I've been part
of the problem, but she needs to get out and make a life for herself,' he paused and sighed 'whether that includes me or not, I'm willing to take any
shit Paul throws my way, he's never appreciated her!'
I touched his arm and offered him a calming smile, he grimaced, embarrassed and then told me to go ahead and call her. Twenty minutes later I
picked her up in my truck. We only drove round the corner because it was late and it wouldn't be a long conversation.
'So what's this about?' she asked when I shut the engine off.
'Have you ever met Edward's cousin Alice?' I asked turning to face her.
She shook her head 'I don't think so, why?'
'I had lunch with her the other day and I mentioned that I was thinking of taking in a lodger,' I explained 'I was going to ask if you wanted to rent a
room at our apartment,' her eyes popped wide in surprise but I kept talking 'but Alice has more room and she's really quite lonely living by herself so
she suggested that I ask you if you want to rent a room from her.'
She sat in silence regarding me for a while and then looked out the window, I saw her shoulders shake a little and realised she was crying.
'Oh God, have I upset you?'
She turned 'No, I'm just a little overwhelmed, so much has changed lately and I know I'm doing the right thing, but it's kind of brought it home to me
just what I'm doing.'
'Are you having second thoughts?'
'No!' She gasped 'God no! I know I'm doing the right thing, it's just a little scary.' She smiled ruefully ' and I'm just really touched that you thought of
me, I haven't exactly been very nice to you.'
I ignored that, it was water under the bridge 'What shall I tell Alice?'
'Tell her I'd like to meet her,' she said and I started the engine with a smile 'and tell her thank you.'
'You can tell her yourself when you meet her,' I grinned 'you'll like her, I can promise you that.'
Jacob had already helped Billy to bed when I got back and Edward pulled me onto his knee and scraped my hair back before kissing my cheek,
while Edward cleared away our glasses.
'What did Leah say?' He asked and Jacob turned to hear my answer.
 'She's going to meet with Alice.'
Jacob smiled and turned towards the sink again. Edward lifted me back onto my feet and stood up not letting go of my waist.
'We're gonna shoot off Jacob!' He said handing picking up my bag and handing it to me 'Thanks for dinner and thank Billy for us tomorrow?'
Jacob nodded and saw us to the door.
Edward was all touchy feely as soon as we got into the truck and I was guessing he was enjoying a slight buzz from the wine and beer he'd drunk
during the meal. He slid his hand beneath my skirt and stroked my bare thigh.
'Edward, if you want us to make it to the apartment in one piece I suggest you quit that till we're safely there.' I chided.
With a light chuckle he pulled his hand away but mere seconds later his fingers were brushing the side of my face 'You're so beautiful.' He
murmured.
'You're drunk!' I accused.
'Not so drunk that I can't see what's right in front of me.' He leaned in and pecked my cheek.
We reached the apartment and his hands were all over me before the door had even closed behind us. 'Come to bed with me.' He rasped
already unbuttoning my blouse.
I followed him eagerly.
He started to strip me 'You know I've been thinking,' He murmured as he slipped my blouse over my shoulders and let it fall 'maybe you should
move your stuff in here,' his lips traced a feathery pattern on my exposed skin 'I want to sleep with you every night and when I'm working I want to
know that you're in my bed.'
I moaned in delight as he removed my bra and his thumbs rubbed my aching nipples 'Why not my room?'
'Yours has the piano in it,' he bent and blew gently on one nipple before briefly licking it 'there's more room in here.'
'Mmm, whatever!' I moaned as my skirt and panties hit the floor and he started removing his own clothes.
He laid me back on the bed, settling between my legs and his tongue slid into my mouth at the same time he pushed into me. His tongue stroked
mine and his hips started to move, he pulled back 'I meant what I said earlier,' he murmured 'I want you naked as much as possible next weekend.' I
groaned in approval as he hitched my legs around his waist and began to move with more purpose.
All conversation was swept away on our passion.
a/n Oh and I really enjoyed Eclipse when I went to see it yesterday, couple of little disappointments but nothing major.
Right you know the drill by now! I have my ideas for how to wrap it all up now and Edward wants to have a little fun first so the next
chapter might be his.
x
Chapter 39
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
THANK YOU for all the lovely reviews, I just love the little noise my computer makes every time one drops into my inbox, please
keep them coming we're only a few chapters away from the end now.
There is only one person who knows me in 'real' life reading this story, she text me yesterday morning demanding another chapter
and almost made me update yesterday but I didn't have time, so this one's for you Jacqui, sorry for making you wait and I hope it is
worth it! ;o)
Epov
The drive up to the cabin was long and Bella slept most of the way, I glanced down at her head resting on my lap, my dick twitched slightly and I
chuckled a little forcing myself to concentrate on the road. It was a single track road that cut its way through the dense forest, it hardly ever got used
since ours was the only semi occupied cabin left and parts of it were overgrown and strewn with broken tree branches, I gripped the wheel tighter
glad that the truck was tough.
Bella had spent the previous day helping Alice get the room ready for Leah and it was late when she'd gotten home. She'd complained when I
woke her up early but I was eager to get here early so we could spend as much time as possible here.
Esme and Carlisle hadn't been up at the cabin for a few months so we'd probably need to freshen the place up and we'd had to bring lots of
supplies with us.
I steered the truck down the bumpy track amazed that Bella was able to sleep through the deafening rattling and creaking of the truck. We
passed the derelict cabin that used to belong to Mr and Mrs Mayweather, it was the only other cabin for miles, they had actually lived there and used
to look after ours while it was unoccupied.
We used to come here most weekends during the summer when I was younger and old Mr Mayweather used to take me fishing, I loved our little
fishing trips and I tipped my head ruefully at the shell that used to be their home. When I was seventeen and we didn't come up her so much, we got
the news that Mrs Mayweather, who had developed Alzheimer's by then, had drowned in the creek and old Mr Mayweather died before the year
was out. Bella shifted in my lap and I smiled down at her sadly, I would have loved to introduce her to them.
The last mile was the worst and it took twice as long as it should have to cover it but finally the cabin loomed ahead. I parked out front and the
sudden silence woke Bella as she lifted her head and tutted rubbing my leg. I looked down and there was a tiny damp patch of drool on my jeans.
She looked up, all flushed and adorable and apologised.
I laughed and kissed the tip of her nose before jumping out and grabbing some of our bags, the steps were a little mossy and slippery so I
warned her to watch her step before opening the front door. I had just dropped the bags when I heard her yelp and an almighty thud and I rushed out
to find her flat on her ass at the bottom of the steps.
'Are you okay?' I asked rushing to her side and almost joining her in the process. She nodded and I helped her up 'I did warn you.' I grinned
rubbing the muddy patch on her ass.
She stuck her tongue out at me but still held on to me as she made her way up the steps, she stopped short of going inside but instead leant on
the wooden fence and took in her surroundings.
'It's really beautiful,' she smiled breathing in deeply 'can you smell that?'
I nodded 'I've always loved the air up here.'
We made short work of bringing in our things and the cabin wasn't too bad all it needed was a quick wipe down here and there and we were
good. I gave her the guided tour and tried my best to detain her in the bedroom but she was too eager to see the rest of the cabin and kept slipping
out of my eager embraces.
I opened the patio doors at the rear and lead her out onto the decking she spotted the hot tub right away and turned to me grinning, 'I've never
been in a hot tub before!'
We moved closer , there must have been a storm over the winter because the cover had been blown of and it was full of bits of broken twigs and
leaves, I grimaced 'I guess we'll have to give it a good clean before we use it.'
The thought of being in there with her later had my cock hard in seconds and I moved towards her, she glanced up at me and met me half way
and this time she was just as eager as me when I wrapped my arms around her. I kissed her neck and then licked slowly around the shell of her ear
'I can't wait to get you in there naked later.' I breathed and my eyes closed when I felt her shiver.
Our lips met and stroked her tongue as she plunged it into my mouth. Her hands slid into my hair and she tugged it lightly causing me to groan
and grind against her. My fingers slid beneath the hem of her shirt but when I started pulling it up she gasped and broke the kiss.
'Edward,' she sighed dropping her forehead onto my chest 'I know you said that stuff about us being naked, but I don't know if I can do it.' Her
hands slid down past my shoulders and she pressed her knuckles gently into my abs, not quite pushing me away but still... 'I don't know if I'd be
comfortable walking around like that.'
She looked up at me and the flush in her cheeks accentuated the troubled look in her eye 'It's okay Bella,' I insisted cupping her warm cheek in
my hand 'you know I wouldn't make you do anything you don't want to do.' She nodded and relaxed a little.
'I don't want to disappoint you Edward.' She said quietly.
I tilted her face up and brushed her lips gently with mine 'You could never do that, Bella.' I stared into her eyes 'I love you.'
Her lips quivered slightly and then she smiled 'I love you too.' She wrapped her arms around my waist.
'I'm hoping you'll be naked at some point over the weekend though!' I teased.
She lifted her head and stared at me 'I did like it when you took my panties,' she said shyly 'and I like all the new stuff we do together, so if you're
patient with me, maybe I could meet you half way.'
My heart clenched as I bent to kiss her again, 'Let's just have some fun this weekend and take it as it comes.'
I went upstairs to make up the bed while Bella cooked lunch, I was grinning like a fool the whole time, it just felt so good to be away from
everything and everybody and to have her here with me in a place where I'd spent so many happy times growing up.
I could hear her singing softly to herself as she worked in the kitchen and I stopped at the top of the stairs to watch her. She lifted the spoon out of
the pot she was stirring and her tongue darted out to taste it, she smiled and took the pan off the heat before turning and rooting around presumably
looking for bowls.
It was hard to think that this beautiful woman before me was the same shy insecure girl I'd met mere months ago, it seemed like a lifetime ago
and if I'd known then it would turn out like this I might have appreciated her a bit more from the start. She'd told me she felt like I'd brought her to life
and I'd understood what she meant because I felt the same way.
For too long I'd been numb, in my darkest moments I'd sometimes wondered why I couldn't let anyone in but now I knew. I'd never met the right
person, I'd never met anyone like Bella and I was now coming to realise that was because there isn't anyone else like Bella, not for me. She'd given
me everything freely, she trusted me in every way, she'd never allowed anything I'd done in the past to cloud her opinion of me.
Sure, there had been little insecurities and jealousies but she was so strong, so good at pushing them away and trusting her own instincts. I on
the other hand had almost ruined everything because I couldn't handle the thought that she might need Jasper more than me. Even when it was his
mistake I'd made her pay for it, even when she'd given me no reason not to trust her, I hadn't.
It was gone now though, I'd given her everything, she had my heart and I truly know that she won't stomp all over it. She'd even severed all ties
with Jasper to protect my fragile insecurities and that more than anything had made me see how selfish I was being.
That day in Alice's when she came to me, I was so scared of losing her that I was pushing her away and when he showed up it threw me for a
loop. It was the differing reactions of all of them that brought it all home to me.
Alice was shaking so badly as she stood in the corner she was almost vibrating, her longing for him was palpable and her misery in what he'd
done equally so. He'd broken her heart and yet she still seemed to have this desperation about her to hold on to what they'd had.
His words shattered me, I was ashamed that it took him to make me see that Bella had chosen me, that it had only ever been me and yet I hadn't
believed her. As he spoke I could see the truth of it in her face, he was never a contender, he knew it too and yet somewhere in his face in his words
I could tell that he was speaking the truth when he'd said he'd gotten it wrong. His regret was rolling off him in waves and it was never stronger than
whenever his eyes flicked to Alice.
And then there was Bella, so hurt and yet so willing to do anything to make me stay and that was the hardest thing of all. She was far stronger
than me, far more willing to put her faith in us and absolutely willing to take all the risks that I feared.
Watching her pour soup into bowls with that contented smile on her face I couldn't remember a single one of those risks. They were simply gone
and all that was left was the delicious feeling that we belonged together and would never do anything to hurt each other.
She looked up as if she was preparing to call me and her eyes widened when she spotted me.
'How long have you been there?' She smiled.
'I just got here.' I said moving down towards here 'finally.' I added under my breath.
After lunch we went for a walk, the sun was shining and I took her up the little trail that lead to the small meadow by the lake that Esme loved to
bring us to. I carried the ratty tartan rug under my arm as I draped the other across her shoulders.
The meadow wasn't very far and we took the trail slowly while Bella wondered at the beauty of our surroundings and I experienced it all over
again through her reactions. We had to cut through the trees to get to it but when she stepped out onto the clearing for the first time, her gasp was
the thing I had been anticipating most all the way here and it didn't disappoint.
The grass was almost waist high in places and thanks to the beaming sun the flowers were open wide and the whole area was a riot of different
colours. She slipped out beneath my arm and waded excitedly through the grass.
 Her eyes were shining when she turned to me 'I don't think I've ever seen anything more beautiful!' She breathed fingering some delicate violets,
she bent to smell them and her grin widened. 'It's simply stunning!'
She practically jumped into my arms and peppered my face with kisses 'We should have brought a picnic.'
'We just had lunch!' I pointed out between kisses.
'I know but I don't want to leave any time soon.'
I chuckled 'We just got here.'
She slid down my body and we walked through grass to the far end where it was shorter and I laid the blanket down just in the periphery of the
shade. I sat down and pulled her down into my arms.
'This is nice,' she said snuggling against me 'I like the isolation.'
I pressed my lips to her hair 'Nobody ever comes up here, we won't see another person all weekend.'
I felt her grin 'Is this your way of trying to get me naked?'
I slid my hands down her sides until they rested on her hips 'You can't blame a guy for trying.' I waggled my eyebrows but then kissed her gently
'I'm just happy to be here with you. I'll take whatever you are willing to give.'
She pushed me down onto my back and kissed me, she was resting on one hip and had her hand on my chest. She looked down at me and her
face was inches from mine 'I want to make love with you here.'
She stretched right over my body and pressed her hips into mine, I was already hard from her first touch and she sighed appreciatively. 'It'll be
okay baby,' I murmured 'nobody will come, I promise you.'

She pulled back and giggled 'I hope that's not true!'
When I realised what I'd said we both laughed and then she jumped up 'Can we maybe move a little nearer to the trees?' She asked still
chuckling slightly 'It feels a little too exposed out here.'
'Whatever you say!'
I moved the blanket beneath the first tree we came to and sat down curling my finger at her, she obliged and straddled my lap. She was still a
little nervous so I leaned back against the tree and let her take the initiative.
Her kisses grew hotter as she snaked her hands beneath my shirt and slowly started to lift it 'Is this okay?' she breathed and I nodded
encouraging her to take it off completely.
She pressed her lips to my collarbone and her fingers explored my chest and abs. My cock, feeling left out, twitched violently and was rewarded
with a grind of her hips, I sucked in a deep breath and fought the urge to speed things up.
'I love your body,' she whispered trailing her lips and tongue across my nipple 'you taste so good,' her lips trailed lower and her fingers started
working on my jeans 'you feel so good.' My head thudded back against the tree as she dipped her tongue into my navel and swirled it before licking
slowly downwards.
I lifted my hips as she shimmied my jeans and underwear down, I groaned loudly when she kissed the tip of my cock lightly and then continued
removing my jeans. As soon as she was done she stood up and looked down at my naked form.
She bit her lip and after taking a quick glance around she pulled her shirt over her head. 'I can do that.' I offered but she shook her head and,
sucking in a deep breath, yanked her jeans down and stepped out of them so fast it was like she'd been ripping a band aid off. She stood before
me in only her underwear.
'You sure you don't want any help?' I quirked an eyebrow.
Again she shook her head and after a brief moment where she balled her fists and then relaxed them again she reached around and unfastened
her bra , her eyes flicked down when my cock twitched and a small smile curled on her lips. She removed the bra and her smile widened when I
twitched again.
'You're so fucking beautiful!' I hissed as my fists dug into the grass in my effort not to reach out and pull her to me.
Finally she pulled her panties down and kicked them onto her jeans before straightening up, her eyes were closed and her chest was heaving. I
knew she was excited but I could see a slight tinge of apprehension still remained so with a further painful dig of my knuckles I managed to stay
where I was and wait.
She sighed 'I've never been fully naked outside before.'
'How does it feel?' I asked gently.
Her eyes opened 'The breeze feels nice.'
 I chuckled and she dropped to her knees in front of me 'I want you Edward.' She said and I knew she wanted me to take over.
I took her hand 'Put your knees on either side of me.' I said as she moved forward 'come closer.'
Her knees were by my hips and she put her hands on my shoulders and moaned loudly when I cupped her breasts 'Do you wanna do it like this
baby?' I murmured pressing my lips to her nipple.
'Mmm-hmm.' She groaned as I positioned my cock at her entrance.
She was so wet already and I wanted to take my time but I just needed to be inside her 'Sit down.' I whispered and she did and my eyes rolled
back as I felt the warmth of her surrounding me.
The cradle of her thighs touched my hips and I started to shake a little with the sheer pleasure of it. I gripped her hips slightly and she rose up
before sliding down again. Her eyes bore into mine.
'Is that good?' She asked huskily.
'Oh yeah,' I groaned as she rose again 'slide your hips forward when you come down,' I managed as she slid back down, I helped her tilt her hips
forward when she was fully seated 'Yeah, just like that, d'you feel that baby? Feel how you're taking me deeper when you do that?'
She whimpered nodding and biting her lip and driving me fucking crazy. She found her rhythm and kept her hands on my shoulders as she rode
me, I raised my hands to her breasts and she threw her head back giving my mouth great access.
I opened my legs a little and she slid down deeper, moaning loudly with every tilt of her hips, the bark of the tree bit into my back with every
movement but the feel and the sight of her riding me was just too good to forego.
Her face was tilted up towards the sun and I took in the beauty of her body from this position, she had a tiny beauty spot beneath her left breast
that I hadn't noticed before and I reached out with my tongue and touched it. Her skin was creamy and tiny goose bumps were dancing across it as
she quivered with pleasure.
She looked down and smiled a smile I'd never seen before either, her lips were generously parted and her tongue darted across her lower lip
before she captured it between her teeth, she was all flushed and oozing sex and I felt like there were still a million things I had yet to notice about
her and I wanted more than anything to see every single one of them.
My love for her seemed to be coursing through me, I don't know if it was the setting, the way she is so eager to try new things despite her
apprehension, the look of love I can see reflected in her eyes, who knows? But I had never felt it more keenly than right at that moment.
I could feel the heat building in my abdomen and I wanted to taste her, she was filling up every one of my senses, her moans and whimpers were
heightening my arousal, the feel of her muscles clenching me had me straining for release. I leaned forward and sucked greedily on her nipples
while my hands snaked up her back and curved around her shoulders pulling her down with more force.
'Oh, yes!' She yelled and I could feel her walls begin to clamp down on me 'Edward, I'm..' she brought her head forward and her face was so
beautiful, her eyes were clenched tight and her mouth was forming a perfect little 'O' and then she let go and I held her down as she pulsed around
me. Her forehead was against mine and I loved feeling her little puffs of breath on my face.
Her eyes opened 'You didn't come?'
I pulled her lips to mine 'Not yet.'
I lay her back on the blanket and positioned myself again before thrusting into her, she wrapped her legs around my waist and I pounded into her
as her fingers smoothed over the indentations left on my back by the tree. She pressed her lips to my ear.
'Fuck me.' She whispered and I almost exploded there and then. I buried my face in her neck and drove into her so hard she yelled with each
stroke and it spurred me on until I finally lost control and bucked into her as my teeth clamped onto her shoulder. 'Oh.. God.. I ..Love..You!' My
muffled words were punctuated by each orgasmic thrust.
'Do you want to get dressed?' I asked languidly stroking her arm, we'd been lying naked for the last half hour and her tiny shiver alerted me to the
fact that she might be getting cold.
She rolled on to her stomach and planted a soppy wet kiss on my chest 'No, I'm enjoying this!' I raised my eyebrow a little 'Really, I am!' she
sighed 'It feels so liberating.'
'And arousing?'
She grinned 'Definitely arousing.'
I looked down as she swirled her fingers in the hair beneath my navel 'If you keep doing that you'll make me hard again.' I warned.
She looked up at me with wicked eyes 'I don't have a problem with that.'
We were both starving as we made our way back to the cabin, the sun had slipped down below the tops of the trees and it was harder work
picking our way along the darkened trail. She held on to me tightly and squealed in fright every now and again when she either tripped or heard an
unexpected noise from the trees.
 It was almost dark by the time we made it back to the cabin and the nip in the air was increasing. I went straight to the hearth to light the fire while
Bella switched on the lights.
'It's too bad we can't call out for pizza.' She said opening the fridge.
'I don't mind cooking.' I said getting up 'You made lunch.'
'No I'll do it,' she insisted and then turned to me 'and you can clean the hot tub.'
I sat in the bubbly water beneath the starlight waiting for her, she'd insisted on having a shower first since I'd had one after cleaning the tub. The
water was warm and the decking lights cast a soft blue glow around me, I had left my shorts on as I stepped inside and I was just thinking about
removing them when I heard her approach.
'Oh it's beautiful out here.' She smiled taking off her robe, she was wearing a red bikini and I wolf whistled as the robe dropped to the floor. She
looked down at herself 'I went shopping with Alice the other day, she helped me pick this one.'
'Remind me to thank her.' I said taking her hand as she gingerly stepped in.
'Mmm, that's nice!' She sighed appreciatively. She sat opposite me and for now I was content just to watch her enjoy the sensation 'She told me
how beautiful this is but her description didn't do it justice.'
I nodded but the talk of Alice had dulled my mood a little 'How is she?' I asked resting my arm across the rim 'She's sort of clamed up on me a
little lately, is she saying much to you?'
'I think she's getting there but she's lonely.' She sighed 'Hopefully when Leah moves in it'll take a little bit of that away at least.'
'Do you think she still loves him?'
She glanced up and I could see that she was nervous about talking about him 'It's okay Bella, I don't mind talking about him, that's where I went
wrong before. He's a part of your life.'
'Not anymore.' She said and if I didn't know her so well I might have missed the wistful edge to her voice.
'He will be.' I assured her and she looked up at me surprised 'What was he like when you were growing up?' I'd never taken the time to
understand her relationship with him fully and now I found myself wanting to.
She shrugged a little and sighed heavily 'When Charlie first brought me home I used to watch him playing out on his lawn from my window. He
had a couple of friends who used to come by and they would always ignore me. When I started at school, he never spoke to me or even
acknowledged me.'
She looked away and her face was as wistful as her voice had been a moment ago 'A group of kids started following me around school, you
know the kind of thing, mocking me, tripping me up, sticking stuff to me. It got pretty bad until one day Jasper stepped in and put a stop to it.'
'So you two became instant friends?' I asked gently, I really wanted to hear their story, I needed to understand the bond they had.
'Not instant,' she said 'you know I'm not the easiest person in the world to get to know, well I was worse back then. But he was very good to me, I
think he felt a bit sorry for me and wanted to help me make new friends.' Her hands fluttered on the water as if she was trying to catch the bubbles 'I
never did though but over the months that followed we became very close. He introduced me to modern music, comic books.' She smiled 'He used
to try to get me to watch TV with him but he liked all these horrible cartoons. I liked Little House on The Prairie though and he used to complain
when I made him watch it with me, but I think he secretly liked it.'
'Did you spend all your free time together?'
'Pretty much, Charlie worked a lot and Marjorie used to mind me, so I would have dinner with them a lot and then Jasper and I would go up to his
room or play out in the yard. Of course when we built the tree house with his father, the rarely saw us after that.'
'Didn't they mind you two being alone all the time?'
'I don't think we gave off that vibe, I mean we were still pretty young, Marjorie was the first to start worrying and Charlie tried to put a curfew on
how late I was allowed to stay out but other than that no, they didn't mind.'
'And as you got older?'
'Jasper was a big hit with the girls, so when he started dating the adults sort of relaxed into our relationship more, I think they thought I would start
dating too but I never trusted anyone.'
'But you trusted him?'
'Absolutely!' She smiled 'I could talk to him about anything,' she looked me in the eye 'I had lots of questions back then, my mother had kept me
very sheltered and Jasper helped me make sense of a world I'd never been allowed to know, when our hormones started raging we confided in
each other.'
'You don't have to answer this if you don't want to Bella,' She was being very open with me and I didn't want her to feel she had to answer
everything 'did you ever want to date him?'
She looked me directly in the eyes again 'No, the closest I ever came to that was asking him to give me my first kiss. I guess, I was kind of
jealous that everybody was out discovering things like that and I knew I'd never loosen up enough to let anyone do it so I asked Jasper, of course,
I've already told you he turned me down.' She snorted without humour and I knew she was thinking of the irony in that.
'Did you ever feel jealous of his girlfriends?' I probed.
She shook her head and again looked me in the eye 'Not jealous as such, I mean I was happy for him, I loved it when he liked somebody and got
all excited it was like I could live vicariously through him.'
'But you never wished he wanted you like that?'
Her head snapped up and I realised my question was possibly double edged, asking both about the past and recent events.
'Never.' She said.
'I relied on him too much, I can see that now. I trusted him with every secret, I consulted him with every problem. All of my best memories of my
childhood involve him.'
'He wanted to go to NYU,' she said leaning her head back slightly 'He doesn't think I know that, but his mother told me, she was surprised when
he told her he was coming to Seattle with me. She took me aside, she wasn't mean about it, we both knew once he'd made up his mind it couldn't
be changed, but she wanted me to know that he was changing his plans so I could go to college.'
'You wouldn't have come to Seattle without him?'
She shook her head but didn't look at me 'I couldn't have come without him. He was my crutch, I couldn't do anything without him.' She raised her
head 'I know what you're thinking.' She accused.
I had no idea what she was talking about I wasn't thinking anything.
'I've replaced one crutch with another.' She finished.
'Do you believe that?' I asked.
She looked up at the stars and then off into the darkness beyond the trees 'Maybe it's in my nature that I need someone,' she gazed at me
'because I certainly need you Edward, but this is different. I needed him for different reasons, entirely different reasons. With you it's because I love
you and want you and I want to spend my life with you.'
I should be scared by the intensity of her words, we'd known each other mere months and yet her words warmed my heart, made me feel happier
than I'd ever felt. She moved to my side.
'It's like I thought I would see him every day for the rest of my life, He'd be a part of my life, you know, like he'd get married and I'd get married and
we'd live in houses next door and have families and we'd all get on.' She snorted briefly but then her expression was suddenly earnest 'But with you I
want you to be my life, I want to spend my life loving you, living with you, having babies with you and now nothing else matters.'
She moved into my arms and I accepted her kiss, she dug her hands into my hair and gripped it tight forcing me to look at her 'I love you Edward
Cullen and you loving me back is all I need.' She dipped her head 'Of course, I've said way too much now, you're probably freaking out.' She
glanced at me and I shook my head with a smile 'I don't know what lies ahead I just know how I feel right now and right now I feel like all of that could
be a possibility in the future, that's all I'm saying.'
She kissed me again and I was almost lost in it, I hadn't expected the conversation to turn into this stark admission but I was so very glad it had
because I knew that I felt exactly the same and I had nothing to fear.
a/n This chapter turned out a little different than I intended it wasn't my fault sexy Eddie ended up getting all deep and meaningful
on me but I hope it was okay. Was it?
I'll try to update before Saturday.
Thanks for reading and reviewing ;o)
x
Chapter 40
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Cabin weekend is drawing to a close, I've loved it hope you do too. In fact I loved it so much it's the longest chapter yet.
It's um... quite lemony! ;o)
Bpov
Saturday morning was heralded in by a loud cacophony of birds which left me feeling disorientated at first but when I opened my eyes I
remembered where I was and smiled. Memories of making love in the meadow and on the sun lounger beneath the stars assailed me and I sighed
contentedly.
We'd talked about my relationship with Jasper briefly but it had somehow turned into my declaration of undying love for Edward. He hadn't said
anything about it and though it worried me a little I was just thankful that I hadn't sent him running for the hills.
I'd meant every word, I wanted to build my whole life around him, he meant more to me than anything and I knew we could be happy, but I was not
an impatient girl and I knew we had plenty of time before we needed to think about it seriously.
He was still snoring lightly beside me so I snuck out of bed and took a quick shower before creeping back into the room to get dressed, he was
still sleeping and I stood and watched him for a moment. He looked so young and innocent in his slumber and it made me think of the many different
sides to him. He was so tender and caring and yet he could be so hot and sexy too but always loving.
I sat down at the dresser and raked a brush through my hair before applying moisturiser and then I stood up and tightened the towel around
myself. I padded back to the bed and kneeled down deliberately low.
My heart started to speed up as I felt the first frisson of excitement bubble in my veins, it wouldn't be without effort but I would do anything to
please him. 'Good morning.' I crooned.
He snuffled slightly and turned his head away, undeterred I leaned over him slightly and breathed into his ear 'Good morning.'
I leaned back down as he turned to face me, his eyes fluttered open, he blinked a few times and then smiled 'Good morning.' I loved his lips in
the morning they were so soft and warm and I bent to kiss them gently.
'I'm going to make breakfast.' I said 'What would you like?'
He rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes 'I don't mind, whatever you want will be fine.'
I thought about dropping the towel as I'd intended but my courage failed me and though I wanted to please him I still felt a little shy. I stood up and
his eyes followed me, then to my delight his fingers reached out and touched the towel.
'Let me look at you?' He murmured tenderly and then his eyes were suddenly on fire.
Somehow he always knew the right look to give me, the exact timbre of voice to use and just like that I wanted to be naked for him, his desire to
see me fuelled mine.
I opened the towel and let it drop to the floor. He smiled appreciatively.
'Do you think you could make breakfast like that?'
His finger traced a lazy circle on my thigh and I bit my lip before nodding.
His eyes glittered with anticipation as I took a step back.
Gathering all my courage I turned and walked away knowing his eyes would be raking over every inch of me. I barely made it to the bottom step
when he caught up with me and I squealed in fright when he scooped me into his arms.
'I don't know if I can keep my hands off you long enough to let you cook.' He growled.
'In that case you'll starve.' I smiled 'because I tend to stay in this state of undress all day.'
He let me slide down his body and I felt his own nakedness 'Me too.' His hand cupped my behind 'How hungry are you?'
'Very.' I answered suggestively.
He backed me up against the sofa and I knew breakfast would be late.
The staying naked thing turned out to be exhausting, it made it impossible for us to keep our hands off each other and after lunch we went back
to bed for a nap. I must have slept for a long time because it was getting dark by the time I woke up, I turned to find the bed empty and got out and
wrapped the comforter around me before padding across the room.
 He was sitting in front of the fire deep in thought, I sat at his feet and rested my head on his knee 'What time is it?' I asked staring into the fire.
'Just gone eight.'
I gasped 'I slept for six hours?'
'I only woke up an hour ago.' He smiled and took my hand and kissed it. 'We must have needed it.'
'We'll be up all night now.' I mused.
He chuckled 'I'm sure we'll have no trouble filling the time.'
I swatted his leg playfully. I paused for a beat 'What were you thinking about?' I asked 'You looked deep in thought when I came down.'
He pulled me beside him and I curled myself against his side while he smoothed his fingers through my hair 'I was thinking about Alice,' he
sighed 'she loves it here and when I told her you and I were coming up this weekend she got this look on her face and I knew what she was thinking
as surely as if she'd come right out and said it.' He kissed me 'She wishes she could come up here with him, she still loves him.'
I noticed he didn't say his name and even though we'd spoken at length about him last night, it seemed that present tense Jasper was a lot more
difficult to accept than past tense Jasper.
'I know she does, but you can't just switch that off, Edward.' I sighed 'Even though he hurt her badly it's going to take her a little time to get over
him and you can't be mad at her for that.'
I felt him stiffen and then he tilted my face up so I had to look at him 'I'm not mad at her,' he said softly 'I'm hurting for her and I feel partly
responsible for her pain.'
'In what way?'
'I'm starting to believe if it wasn't for me being with you, she'd have given him another chance by now. She'd be trying to find a way to make it
work.'
I couldn't confirm or deny that but it felt like he was right and that filled me with guilt too.
'I just want her to be happy but I can't see there ever being a time when we'll all be able to be together without that hanging over us.'
A tear slid down my cheek as I spoke 'I wish we could though.' I looked into his eyes 'I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I really wish we could just all get
along and spend time together, we've never had that.'
He bent and kissed me 'It doesn't hurt me Bella, that's why I know he's going to be a part of your life again and I'm okay with it, I love you too much
to want anything for you but what makes you happy. And I trust you, this weekend has taught me so much, I know how you feel about me now and I
don't feel threatened at all.'
I was so overwhelmed I burst into tears, tears of happiness that he trusted me and loved me so much and tears of sadness that all of us couldn't
have what should have been on the cards for us.
'Hey,' he soothed kissing away my tears 'why are you crying?'
I blinked up at him 'I guess I'm just happy but I'm sad at the same time.' I blubbered feeling foolish.
He kissed my eyes reverently 'Bella, you should learn to enjoy your own happiness and try not to feel so responsible for everyone else's. Jasper
and Alice will find it, whether it's with each other or with other people, they'll find it.' I snuggled closer and nodded.
He tilted my chin up and pressed his lips to mine, he sucked my bottom lip into his mouth and slid his tongue slowly along it, I opened my mouth
to accept him but he pulled back and his eyes burned into mine. 'I've also been thinking about all the things you said last night,' he said slowly 'and I
feel the same way Bella, I know it's crazy, we've only known each other for a short time but I know there will never be anyone who makes me feel the
way you do. I don't think it's even physically possible to love anyone more than I love you.'
Relief washed over me and I cupped his face with my hand but he didn't let me speak, he continued.
I slight blush touched his cheeks 'If I didn't have years of training ahead of me and had something more to offer you I think I'd be down on one
knee right now.' My eyes popped wide in question and he nodded looking adorably nervous. 'But I have nothing but student debts right now Bella
and it I don't want to rush you into anything.'
I knew he meant what he was saying and even though part of me wished he was down on one knee, I didn't want to rush him either. So I
tempered my response.
'Edward what I need from you can't be bought, you already give me everything I need,' I kissed his lips 'and more. I wouldn't care if you were
penniless; I want you for who you are not what you can give me.'
I lay pressed to his side for a long time before he finally spoke.
'Would it be too much of a cliché if I made love to you by the fire?' There was a hint of amusement in his tone.
 'Yes,' I smiled 'but please do.'
The fire had died by the time he carried me up to bed and wrapped himself around me 'Tomorrow's our last day,' he murmured against my neck
'It'll just be about us, we'll have some fun, I promise.'
I reached around and rubbed the back of his head 'I've had a wonderful time so far Edward, we should definitely do this again.'
'Hey sleepy head it's time to get up!'
I felt the bed move and turned to see Edward wearing only shorts shaking the mattress. I groaned and pulled the duvet over my head but his
hands grabbed around my ankles and pulled me towards the edge of the bed.
'Okay!' I groused sitting bolt upright. 'What's the rush?'
'I'm taking you out to lunch.'
I glanced at the clock 'It's eleven am!'
'It's an hour's drive.' He released my ankle 'Come on, get out of bed,' he stepped away and picked up my bag 'did you bring a skirt?'
I grinned knowing where he was going with this 'You know I did, you packed it.'
He pulled it out of the bag 'Oh look, so I did!' he placed it on the bed 'There's a bath waiting for you, get your lovely ass in it and then put these
on,' he pulled a black top out of my bag and threw it on the skirt 'and no underwear.'
I rubbed my thighs together a little 'Aren't you joining me in the bath?'
He leaned over me and kissed my forehead 'Baby, if I join you in the bath, we won't make dinner never mind lunch.'
I shivered in anticipation and hurried towards the bathroom.
The skirt was floaty and hung to just below the knee so I didn't feel as uncomfortable walking around for the day without underwear as I would
have done had it been shorter. The black top was perfect too because it was obviously dark and not too tight so there was no chance of anyone
seeing anything so only Edward would know.
I came down stairs to find him waiting outside on the decking, he turned and grinned wolfishly as I approached and I already felt the moisture
gather between my legs. His hair was ablaze in the sunlight and his eyes sparkled like emeralds when he smiled and his lips, as usual, just looked
like they were begging to be kissed.
He swept me into his arms and I moaned when his soft mouth covered mine, I sucked in a sharp breath when he slid his hand down my thigh and
pulled my leg up and hitched it around his hip. His fingers smoothed up my bare skin and curved around my bare cheek, his groan matched mine
and the kiss deepened as he slid all the way round and then he slid his fingers between my legs.
The way he was reaching round me meant his chest was pressed hard against my breasts, he was holding me so close and his head dropped
to my neck as he increased the pressure on my clit. I hadn't expected this and as he nibbled my tender skin I could feel my orgasm coming to life,
still he said nothing but his soft moans mixed with mine were so arousing and it didn't take long for it to rip through me.
He removed his hand and my leg slid back to the floor, I felt like putty in his hands and I smiled lazily when he kissed his way up my neck and
looked into my face. His eyes were hooded and I knew that look so I decided to tease him a little.
'Shouldn't we be going?' I asked sweetly biting my lip a little, his eyes darted to my mouth, I knew he liked it when I bit my lip but until now I hadn't
realised just how much it affected him. A tiny noise emanated from his throat.
I smoothed my hands down the front of my top pulling it tighter against my body 'Are you sure no one will know I'm not wearing a bra, I mean, what
if my,' I was about to say breasts but since I was being brazen there was no point getting coy now 'tits bounce a little too much.' I was tempted to
give him a little example but the noise in his throat grew louder 'did you just growl at me?' I laughed.
His fingers slid along the hem of my top 'Yes, we should be going, you little tease but now,' He pulled the top up exposing my breasts and looked
down 'well, now I'm just going to have to make you pay for being a bad girl and getting me all excited.' he looked up and the expression on his face
had me quivering in anticipation, he looked as sinful and wicked as the devil himself.
'And how are you going to make me pay?' I asked biting my lip again for good measure.
In response he stepped closer and backed me into the fence, trapping me with a hand on either side and pressed his lips to my ear 'I'm going to
turn you round and put my hard dick in that sweet tight pussy of yours and I'm going to fuck you so hard you won't even remember your own name!'
This time the moan emanated from my throat.
He pulled back and looked at me with a crooked grin before bending down and sucking my lip into his mouth, I groaned when he bit it gently and
then his fingers were on my waist turning me. He placed my hands on the fence which was just above waist height and perfect for gripping, his
fingers slid up my arms and then down over my breasts, I gasped when he pinched each nipple and then he pulled my skirt up around my waist.
'Open your legs.' He ordered
 He stepped between them and fixed my top again so my breasts were still exposed 'I'm gonna make those tits bounce.' He growled in my ear
and I whimpered as he teased my clit with the head of his cock. I tried to move my hips back so he would slip inside but he restrained me and
simply slid his tip up and down the length of my slit. He chuckled 'Ah, the little tease doesn't like to be teased.'
I was throbbing with need for him now 'Please?' I whimpered arching my pelvis back again.
'Please what?' He rasped.
'Oh God Edward, please fuck me!'
He thrust into me so quickly and hard it stole the breath from my body, he stayed still, one hand gripping my hip and the other smoothing over my
ass cheek until I adjusted. He pulled my left leg up and I rested it on the bottom ledge of the fence and then he drew out slowly while his hand slid
back to my hip. He was almost all the way out when he stopped, teasing me again, I looked over my shoulder at him and he was looking down to
where our bodies were joined, his eyes lifted to mine and he held my gaze as he slammed into me again.
'Oh!' I yelled out and I saw a flicker of worry on his face 'It's so good!' I assured him and then I couldn't hold the position any longer and had to turn
away as he started to thrust into me.
His pace was almost frantic and the sound of his skin slapping against mine inflamed me, I was calling out his name and begging for more and
he was so deep, Oh God! So deep! My whole body was vibrating with pleasure as I clung to the wood trying to brace myself against the sheer force
of his thrusts.
His voice was hoarse and beautiful with arousal 'Do you like me fucking you hard?' He rasped.
'Oh yes!' I yelled, deliberately loud, revelling in the isolation, the illicitness of being outside and exposed like this.
My head dropped slightly and my arms wobbled with the effort of holding myself away from the fence under the power he was exerting. His hands
slid from my hips up to my breasts and he pinched and squeezed them 'Touch your pussy!' He groaned lessening the force and removing my right
hand from where it was gripping the fence.
I slid my hand up beneath my skirt and did as he asked, he bent me further forward and my other arm bent and my head dropped onto it. He was
still using the same force but this time it was like he was pulling me onto him, taking more of the brunt of it. I was so close and I by the feel of him
swelling inside me I knew he was too.
'Oh Jesus fucking Christ!' He yelled 'I'm gonna come baby!'
I rubbed myself furiously and as his hips started to buck erratically I clenched down on him with the force of my own orgasm and we made so
much noise a flock of birds fluttered out of the trees and flew away into the distance.
My limbs felt boneless as he slid out of me and turned me to face him, he was still breathing heavily and a sheen of sweat was glistening on his
forehead 'See what happens when you tease me?' He smiled.
'I think I might tease you every day in life.' I countered.
He threw his head back and laughed 'I fucking love you Bella Swan!' He looked down at me and tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear 'the
teasing was meant to be just the thought of you walking around with me today wearing no underwear, I thought we'd last a bit longer before
succumbing.'
I bit my lip and this time it wasn't deliberate but his eyes flicked to it just the same 'I'm sorry?' I offered cheekily.
He smoothed my top down and I shivered when his hands brushed over my breasts as he did 'No you're not.' He chuckled. He took my hand 'We
should go.'
I pulled back 'Um.. I need to..' I jerked my thumb towards the cabin '..um... clean up a little.'
He looked down 'Oh!'
I hurried to the bathroom and did what I had to do and then thinking about the practicalities of things pushed a pack of wipes into my bag. I didn't
know what we'd end up doing today and I was still a little unsure if I could be so brazen anywhere but here but it wouldn't hurt to be prepared. When I
came back out he was directly behind the door.
'I just need to get something.' He said entering the bathroom with me. He took a pack of condoms out of the drawer and slipped a couple into his
pocket before turning to me 'Just in case you decide to tease me again,' he grinned 'and I'm hoping you will, it won't be so messy this way.'
I sat curled against him, feeling completely relaxed and satiated as the truck bumped its way down the track away from the cabin. We passed an
old rundown cabin and Edward told me about the old couple who used to live there and tears filled my eyes when he explained what happened to
them.
I'd missed the drive here so pushing the sad thoughts of the old couple out of my mind I sat up and tried to focus on the beauty of the scenery
surrounding us. We drove for a little under an hour passing through small towns and then finally at the fourth town we came to Edward pulled into a
parking lot behind a boarded up bowling alley.
'There's a great Mexican restaurant just across the street.' He said taking my hand as I got out of the truck, he paused 'I probably should have
asked you this back at the cabin, but, do you like Mexican food?'
I smiled at him 'Sure food that hurts, what's not to like?' He frowned and I smiled digging his ribs 'I'm kidding, I love it, the hotter the better.'
His eyebrow quirked at the last part and then his lips spread into a crooked smile 'I love it when you get all suggestive on me!'
The restaurant wasn't exactly buzzing with a lunchtime rush and we were seated at a table right in the centre of the room, I was a tiny bit relieved
because I'd been slightly apprehensive about what Edward might do if we were seated in a booth. I was wearing no underwear after all.
We ordered our food and he laced his fingers through mine across the table and told me more stories about being here with his family, he talked
more about Mr and Mrs Mayweather and while we ate our meal our conversation drifted to the future. I loved how passionate he was about
becoming a doctor but there was a hint of regret in his voice when he talked about the long hours and the time he would spend away at the hospital
during his internship.
'It seems so long since I've had anything worth coming home to,' he said a little ruefully sipping his soda 'now I that I have, I'll be stuck at the
hospital all the time.'
I laughed 'You'll love every minute of it there, don't say it like you'll be stuck down a mine shaft or something for endless hours, you don't have it so
bad.'
'So you don't feel sorry for me at all?' He joked with a pout.
'No because I know when you do come home we'll make up for it.'
His eyes darkened a little 'Let's get out of here.'
He paid the check and led me back to the car taking such long strides I was practically running to catch up with him. 'What's the rush?'
The truck was the only vehicle in the car park and he'd parked in a spot that had the building on one side and a wall at the front. He moved to the
passenger side and backed me up against the door, without saying anything his lips crashed into mine and his kiss was fevered. I melted into it
and sighed when he pressed his rock hard erection into my pelvis.
'It seems my ability to keep my hands and mouth to myself only lasts for a couple of hours.' He rasped pulling away 'Just the mention of being with
you is enough to set me off.'
He kissed me again and I gasped when I felt him lift my skirt slightly, I broke the kiss and looked around but of course there was nobody around
but the fact that we only had privacy on two sides worried me. If someone drove into the lot they would see us immediately. I gasped again as
Edward dropped to his knees and disappeared under my skirt.
'Spread your legs.' He ordered and with another nervous glance I did.
His lick was hard and powerful and somehow my fogged up brain chose that moment to remember that I'd read somewhere that the tongue was
the strongest muscle in the human body. I could certainly believe that when he licked me again. I looked down at him buried between my legs
beneath my skirt and my arms thumped onto the truck, his head popped out and he grinned up at me.
'Lift up your top, I want to see your tits!'
I glanced around biting my lip 'I can't!' I squeaked, 'someone might come, isn't this against the law or something?'
He laughed and stood up slowly 'You are so adorable when you're nervous.' He was still breathing heavily and he smoothed my skirt down before
raking his fingers through his hair 'Okay, maybe you're not quite ready for this, yet.' He mused.
'I'm sorry,' I said quietly 'I don't...'
'Hey!' He soothed 'None of that. its fine, I just got a little carried away that's all.' He brushed his lips across mine 'I was intending to take you to the
movies but I'm guessing you wouldn't be up for fucking in a movie theatre just yet either.'
I gasped and he pulled me into his arms 'I'm sorry, I'm just teasing you,' he pulled back and looked at me smoothing my hair away from my face 'I
just feel like I want to fulfil every fantasy I've ever had with you.'
A tiny frisson of jealousy bubbled within me 'Have you ever done any of these things with anyone else?'
His eyes softened and he shook his head 'You know how I was before, it wasn't like this Bella, it was sex in its most basic form, there was never
any planning or any thought going into it. It was always just something that happened in the moment.'
I felt a little silly for asking and blushed.
He wrapped his arms around me and his breath was hot when he whispered in my ear 'I put a lot of thought into what I want to do with you, there's
so many things,' he pulled back and his eyes were again filled with desire 'but we have time, there's no rush.'
He reached behind me and opened the door 'Get in, let's go back to the meadow.'
We went back to the cabin briefly and filled a cooler with a small picnic for later and made our way back to the meadow, it took twice as long as
it should have to get there because Edward kept stopping to kiss me and touch me. I was far more comfortable here knowing that there was
nobody around for miles.
He stopped me for another kiss and then bending me back slightly he bunched my top above my breasts and tugged my nipple into his mouth. I
groaned in pleasure at the loud slurping noises he was making and when he lifted the top over my head I didn't object. He gave the same attention
to my other nipple and the cool air on my wet skin made them both pucker so tight it was almost painful. Almost.
He threw my top over his shoulder with a grin, took my hand and started walking but he stopped again and again and by the time we made it to
the meadow we were both completely naked and unbearably aroused. As we laid the blanket down I couldn't resist brushing past him a little too
closely and occasionally letting my hand brush against his erection as I did.
Eventually though, it became too much and he pulled me down onto the blanket and devoured my mouth. His kisses were almost frenzied and I
was panting when he finally released me.
'Jesus Christ Bella, you get me so fucking worked up,' he rasped and then his voice lowered sexily 'get up on your knees.' Excitement curled in
my belly as I obeyed him but when I put my hands on the ground he shook his head 'No, like this.' He pulled me upright again so I was on my knees
with my hands at my sides.
'I want to do something with you,' he breathed 'you don't have to if you don't want to,' his eyes flicked to mine 'move your knees a little wider.' I did
and felt like I was almost squatting, I watched in confusion as he lay on his back and then I gasped as he slid under me. 'Oh yeah,' he murmured
'your pussy looks so delicious from here.'
I looked down and could only see his chin.
'Lower yourself a little baby.' He sighed as his hands smoothed up the outside of my thighs.
I had to move my knees wider and it wasn't exactly comfortable as I tried to keep my balance.
'Now you can put your hands on the ground.'
I put my hands on either side of him and leaned forward and then that's when I realised what he wanted to do and I gasped. He was directly
beneath me and I stared at him for a moment, his legs were bent at the knee and opened wide and his hard cock was lying on his belly right below
my mouth.
I hisses as his tongue slid around my outer lips briefly, the thought of this excited me, I'd never even considered that I could give him pleasure
while he was doing it to me and I lowered my mouth and flattening my tongue licked right down his shaft from tip to base like it was an ice cream
cone.
His balls tightened and he twitched 'Baby, that's so good.' He hissed and licked me again, it was my turn to hiss. 'Suck my cock baby,' he
murmured against my flesh 'suck me while I lick your delicious pussy.'
His words made my insides clench so hard with lust I felt it would only take a couple of lashes of his tongue and I would come, so I took him in my
hand and angled him just right before sliding my mouth down onto him.
He cried out and then I did too when he clamped his mouth to me and started working me furiously with his tongue. I swirled my tongue around
his shaft as I bobbed my head sucking as hard as I could, I knew it wouldn't take long for me to come and I wanted to make him come too. Waves of
pleasure washed over me and my knees and elbows wobbled with the sheer strain of trying not to collapse onto him.
Remembering how arousing it had been when he had noisily sucked my nipples I did the same for him, I was moaning around his length and
slurping noisily and his hips started to buck causing him to slide deeper into my mouth, he almost hit the back of my throat a couple of times and I
gagged once. Stupid reflex!
I felt it coming and I was desperately using my lips, tongue and even my teeth in my attempts to have him join me but I couldn't wait, I couldn't hold
it, there were stars flashing behind my eyelids and my whole body was quivering but I just couldn't stop it and I let out a loud cry as it crashed over
me. He slipped from my mouth and I was glad because I might have bit it off otherwise.
I was panting as I laid my head against the juncture of his thigh and fought to regain my equilibrium, his tongue was still lapping at me gently and
my hips jerked every time, I moved so both knees were at one side of his head denying him access and he grumbled in complaint.
'It tickles.' I croaked.
He moved as if to sit up but I splayed my hand across his chest 'I'm not finished!' I admonished and then moved my whole body round dipping my
shoulders beneath his knees. I took him in my mouth again and took up where I left off, only this time I had the pleasure of looking up at his beautiful
face. He was craning his neck so he could see and his eyes were dark and hooded and all kinds of sexy.
'Put your hands in my hair.' I said and he shifted so he was sitting up and leaning back against the tree.
I angled my head to accommodate the new position and slid down on him again, I gripped his hips and pulled him forward slightly, sucking hard.
He stayed motionless so I pulled him again and he groaned.
'You want me to fuck your mouth baby?' He gasped and I moaned affirmatively around his cock.
'Fuck!' He hissed and his fingers fisted in my hair.
 I was lying down on my front between his legs, my elbows supporting me at either side of his hips raising me up so he could thrust and he did!
And it was wonderful as he started to buck and his fingers tightened in my hair.
'Baby you suck my cock so good!' He moaned 'Oh yeah..that's it... oh... mmm hmm... God I love fucking your mouth... yeah... harder... oh ...'
He was almost incoherent and I could feel him swelling, getting harder and his balls tightened and lifted and then he was pulsing and pouring
himself down my throat and the sounds he made were music to my ears.
I rested my head on his thigh and looked up at him, his head was tilted back but I could still see the lazy smile creep across his face. His fingers
smoothed through my hair and I almost purred like a kitten.
'I love you.' I sighed and he looked down at me.
'Ditto.' He said and I laughed.
'You soppy romantic, you!'
We lay like that for a while and then made love before eating the food we'd brought, I was completely at ease being naked for the rest of the day
and I was starting to regret that we would be leaving soon, I'd had the best weekend of my life and I wished we could just stay here alone for ever.
'What time are we leaving tomorrow?' I asked frowning at the thought.
'I thought we could leave early and take a little detour to Forks.' He said crunching on an apple.
'Why?'
'I guess I owe your dad another apology,' he said grimacing 'for running off like a jealous schoolboy the last time. This time though,' he smiled
rubbing my leg a little 'I promise I won't do anything that means I have to apologise again, I don't want this to become a regular occurrence.'
'Charlie understands, you don't have to do that.'
'I want to and besides, it would be nice for you and I to spend some time with him and his new wife. I know how much he means to you and I just
want to finally make a good impression.'
'You already did,' I smiled 'he told me the last time, after you left, that he liked you, I think he respects that you came down and faced him man to
man. He doesn't have a problem with you anymore,' I frowned 'though, he might grill you about our sleeping arrangements.'
He chuckled 'What do I say? I mean it's not like he's going to believe that I give you a chaste kiss on the lips at your bedroom door every night.'
I cringed and felt the blush hit my cheeks 'I don't know, we can't tell him the truth.'
He cupped my cheek 'We'll tell him a watered down version of it, he's not an idiot Bella.'
I knew he was right but it didn't make it any less embarrassing to think that Charlie would know we were sleeping together.
a/n Okay so since I'm nearing the end here, I'm gonna do this again, 449 people will get an email when I press this button (thanks
for adding this to alerts btw). I don't know when you'll all get round to reading this but please let me know what you think at least
once. I'm totally enjoying chatting with reviewers you are all brilliant and I want to meet more!
Busy couple of days before my two back to back holidays begin so I will try to write the next chapter tomorrow and post it Sunday
but can't promise. Off to see Eclipse again tonight with some girls from work, so that might inspire me again.
x
Chapter 41
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Yay! I met the deadline!
Thanks for the great reviews I love them all!
Epov
As we passed the sign that signified our arrival in Forks I was still suffering from the melancholy I felt when leaving the cabin. It had truly been the
best weekend of my life, just Bella and I enjoying the opportunity to enjoy each other without any outside influences. She'd opened up her body and
mind to me and it had been so natural and easy for me to do the same.
But we were here, back to reality and this place signified that more than any other for this was where Charlie was and I had to win him round for
Bella's sake, also this was where Jasper was and as much as it didn't sit entirely right with me yet, he was the missing piece of her puzzle.
She snaked her hand around my arm and slid across the seat closer to me and she snuggled against me. I smiled and sighed contentedly she
made me feel like more of a man just by loving me and with her at my side I felt like there was nothing I couldn't face, even her father.
'What are you thinking?' She asked nuzzling my bicep with her nose adorably.
'That I wish I could just turn this truck around and head straight back to the cabin.'
She giggled 'Let's do it! We'll find a way to block the road off and they'll never reach us we'll be trapped there forever!'
I'd be lying if I said it wasn't a little bit tempting, as crazy as that sounds. But feeling her skin against mine and hearing the natural confidence in
her voice, I knew we'd share many more experiences like the one we'd just had.
I pulled into Charlie's drive and failed to stifle my sigh, I knew I could do this, I just wish I hadn't been such a melodramatic asshole the last time I
was here and it would just be like a regular visit. Bella got out of the truck first and I forced myself to follow, she walked round the truck and put her
hand in mine and smiled at me.
'You look so worried.' She observed amusement evident in her tone.
'Yeah, well I haven't exactly covered myself in glory where your dad's concerned so, I think I'm entitled to worry a little.'
She squeezed my hand and I knew she was amused but I didn't mind. We started to walk up the path when she suddenly sucked in a sharp
breath and stopped in her tracks.
'What is it?' I asked looking down at her.
Her eyes were trained on a spot behind Jasper's house and I followed her gaze half expecting to see him standing there but there was nobody
there.
'It's gone!' She gasped.
At first I didn't know what she meant but then my eyes fell on the tree, the very empty tree and the penny dropped.
'He's taken it down,' her voice was so small and disbelieving 'I can't believe he did that.'
I took a few steps forward, unsure what to say and she practically dragged her feet as she followed. I could see the broken wood now lying at the
back of the house, it looked like he'd really done a hatchet job on it. The pile was high and it looked like he'd chopped it so much it was almost
firewood.
Bella's face was the perfect picture of misery and I wished the wood wasn't lying there in that state to taunt her.
'Are you coming inside, or are you just gonna hang around out here all day?'
Charlie's voice broke the spell and she turned and ran into his arms 'Dad!' She gasped and Charlie shot me a confused look but understood
instantly when I jerked my head in the direction of the obliterated tree house.
He hugged her tight and then I followed them into the house, Sue was waiting inside and welcomed us and I was relieved that the atmosphere
wasn't tense at all.
Bella was still clinging to Charlie when he offered me his hand.
'I'm sorry about..um.. taking off with Bella's truck la...' I began but he cut me off.
'Don't worry about it, Edward, we all get a little hot headed and impulsive sometimes.' He turned his attention back to Bella 'Hey,' she lifted her
face up 'I know you loved that place but sometimes you just gotta let go, that's all he's doing.'
 Sue shot me a glance and I smiled weakly and followed her into the front room. I apologised to her too since I hadn't seen her since the wedding
but she was just as graciously dismissive of it as Charlie had been and put me at ease right away.
I could hear Bella and Charlie talking in the hallway and I turned to Sue. 'So how is married life treating you?' I cringed as soon as I said it, I really
was fucking useless at small talk.
A small smile crept across her lips 'It's treating me just fine Edward.' She said. 'Are you two staying for dinner?'
I glanced over my shoulder at Bella and she was still deep in conversation with Charlie 'I guess so.' I turned back 'That would be great, thanks.'
Finally Bella and Charlie came back into the room and when she sat beside me and Charlie remained standing I felt like I was fucking 17 years
old again and about to get a stern talking to.
'So,' He said fixing me with a determined stare 'did you enjoy your trip?' I nodded 'It was just the two of you?'

Oh fuck! 'Yes, my aunt and uncle own the cabin, they let us use it for the weekend.'
This was fucking ridiculous, I'm twenty fucking seven years old and I feel like a naughty school boy. Maybe it was a mixture of never having
wanted to impress anyone's father before and the worry that just exactly what I had been doing with his daughter all weekend might be written all
over my face.

'I'll be starting my internship soon so we won't get a chance to spend a lot of time together for a while,' I explained 'so it was nice to..um...to..' to
fucking what? Spend all weekend fucking like rabbits? Yeah real smooth Edward '...to get away from it all .' I'm a dick!
Charlie nodded but he was still staring 'Maybe it won't be such a bad thing,' he said glancing at Bella finally 'you two having some space, I mean,
you do live together.'
'Dad!' Bella sighed 'stop talking to us like we're a couple of kids!'
To my surprise he grinned 'I couldn't resist!' his eyes flicked back to mine 'Though, I won't lie, I'm still a little uncomfortable with how fast things
have moved, but you're right, you're not kids anymore and I guess that's my problem not yours.'
In good old fashioned style Sue and Bella cooked while Charlie and I sat awkwardly in the front room trying to fill the silence with inane
conversation and not making a very good fist of it. He asked some stuff about my internship, I asked him some stuff about crime and the silences
grew longer and longer, I mean there wasn't a huge atmosphere or anything, it was just that we found we had very little in common and it didn't help
the conversation flow.
Eventually it all ground to a halt and Charlie looked as embarrassed by the silence as I did so I stood up 'I'll go out and get some wine for dinner.'
I offered.
He raised his eyebrows 'I have some beers in the fridge.'
'Bella prefers wine.' I said and his brow furrowed as soon as I did and I cringed.
Yep that's right Charlie I'm the asshole introducing all of life's vices to your daughter.
I stuck my head in the kitchen to see if Bella wanted to come with me but since she was up to her elbows in what looked like powdery goo I
decided to go alone and simply told her and Sue I would be right back.
Forks was a depressing little town, there really wasn't much to it at all and I wondered how people could bear to live in a place like this. I much
preferred the hustle and bustle of the city and having everything I needed on my doorstep. I passed a small dinner and rows of run down buildings,
thanks to the rain the streets were pretty deserted and it just added to the nothingness of the surroundings.
I spotted a supermarket up ahead and decided just to buy the wine there because I wasn't even sure there would be a decent liquor store in this
town. Rain hammered on me as I ran to the entrance and then once I was inside I slowed down and checked the signs looking for where they kept
the alcohol.
Considering the streets were deserted the store was pretty busy and I had to keep moving to let people pushing trolleys get past me with their
kids. I hadn't asked what was for dinner but judging by Bella's appearance when I left it involved some kind of pastry and since pastry went with
almost anything I decided I better buy a bottle each of Red and White.
I picked two bottles and took them to the counter to pay, the girl at the checkout smiled at me in that flirty way girls do when they want you to know
they're interested. I took in her long blonde hair, her perfectly made up face and her long purple talons as her fingers curled around the bills I handed
her. Her eyes flicked to the cash register and then her pink tongue flicked out over her purple lip briefly before she looked back up at me and
handed me my change. She was biting her lip.
I smiled back and saw the hope in her eyes, but my smile was merely for that little gesture which reminded me so much of Bella. Only Bella did it
so much better and everything about her was so much better and my smile widened, I didn't need anyone else. The guy I used to be who would have
lingered at the counter a little longer than he needed to, made a few suggestive remarks and then come back at closing time was well and truly
gone.
I was still smiling to myself when I stepped out into the rain and came face to face with Jasper and it dropped from my face completely. His eyes
widened when they met mine and he seemed to hesitate for a split second before he lowered them and moved to walk past me.
I was hit by the vision of the destroyed tree house at the back of his house.
'Why'd you tear down the tree house?' I asked and he stopped in his tracks.
He turned and I looked into his face, he looked like shit, he'd definitely lost weight, not that he was particularly heavy to start with but now he
looked positively gaunt. His eyes were dull and there was nothing of that swagger that he used to have. He looked defeated and when his eyes met
mine he looked like he didn't even know how to answer me.
'It's not a trick question,' I said 'Bella was pretty upset when she saw it earlier.'
He sighed 'If I'd known she was coming down here I would've got rid of the wood.'
'You didn't answer my question.' I pointed out.
The rain was pelting down on us and I wasn't even sure why I was asking but after everything Bella had told me this weekend I finally felt I could
look at him a little more objectively. And, shit, I felt sorry for him.
'I'm just moving on, man.' He said quietly.
The conversation dried up and I couldn't help the chuckle that bubbled in my throat, I'd escaped Charlie's to avoid the awkwardness there and I'd
found my way straight back into a worse situation.
Out of the frying pan and into the fucking fire!
'How's Alice?'
I looked at him and his eyes didn't meet mine, they were trained on some imaginary point of interest over my shoulder. I could tell by the slight
down turn of his mouth and the way his shoulders dropped slightly that he had been trying to hold the question back, like maybe he felt like he had
no right to ask but he couldn't help himself and asked anyway.
I spotted a bar just across the street 'Do you want to go for a beer?' I asked and his eyes popped open as they flicked back to me 'Just one.' I
insisted. 'I guess we should talk.'
Again he hesitated and I sighed about to withdraw the offer when he shrugged and said 'sure.'
Like the store the bar was a little busy, I guess the townsfolk aren't put off by the rain, they just don't walk the streets in it.
We bought a couple of beers and sat at a table, Jasper immediately started picking off the label from his bottle. I decided since this was
probably more uncomfortable for him than it was for me, that I should maybe take the initiative.

'Alice is getting a new roommate.' I said and his eyes snapped up, I saw the flicker of pain before he managed to hide it ' She's a friend of
Jacob's, she's leaving her husband or some shit like that.'
He nodded and I realised Bella had probably already told him the whole story. 'She hates living alone,' he looked up at me 'but you'd know that
better than me.'
'It's not a competition about who knows who better.' I said taking a pull of my beer.
He nodded again in agreement and I wasn't used to him like this, I was used to the arrogant asshole I thought I hated.
'Will you be moving back to Seattle when college starts again?' I asked.
'I don't know, I thought about just quitting and getting a job.'
I remembered what Bella told me 'If you can't face Seattle, maybe you should try NYU again.' I suggested.
His eyes snapped up and he chuckled without mirth 'Yeah, that'd get me as far away from here as possible.'
'Look,' I said setting my bottle down and gripping it 'I'm offering you a fucking olive branch here, so cut the self pity bullshit, you and Bella have a
history, she misses you and if you two being friends makes her happy then I'm not gonna fucking stand in the way of it.' I rifled my fingers through my
hair 'I actually believe you, maybe that makes me a fucking fool, I don't know, but I believe that you love Alice.' I looked him in the eye 'Bella
explained a lot to me and even though I'll never fully understand it, she's made me see it differently and I'm willing to just let it lie.'
He was stunned and his eyes seemed to be darting all over the place as he processed what I'd just said.
'Listen I really need to get back,' I said standing up.
'Is she over me?'
I sat back down heavily in the chair 'I'm not gonna sit here and tell you how Alice is doing, if you want to know that pick up the fucking phone and
ask her yourself and while you're at it, maybe you should stop by and see Bella before we go home tonight and explain to her why the fuck you tore
down that tree house.'
 I drained the last of my beer and stood up, when I looked down at him he held his hand out and I stopped a beat, he still looked stunned but there
was a resolve about him now. I took his hand and shook it then left.
Bpov
'You'll wear a hole in the glass if you stare any harder.'
I started at the sound of Charlie's voice 'He's been gone for nearly an hour, it wouldn't take this long to buy wine.' I said chewing my finger nail
'Maybe you should take the cruiser and look for him, what if he's had an accident?'
Charlie came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders 'He'll be fine.' He insisted.
'You don't know that, what if he's crashed the truck, look at the weather, the roads will be...'
'Hey hey!' Charlie admonished pulling me into his arms and hugging me 'if he's not back in another half hour I'll go look for him.'
'Thanks dad.' I muttered into his chest.
It wasn't like Charlie to be so tactile but I liked it.
He let me go and stared down at me 'You really care for him a lot don't you?' He mused.
I nodded 'I love him.'
He sighed 'Yeah, I can see that,' he looked out the window 'you know, I was really worried when you went off to Seattle with Jasper, I thought
maybe you'd last a few months and then come home.' He turned back to me and smiled a little 'I didn't expect you to change so much, but I like it, I
like seeing you happy like this,' he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck 'you deserve to be happy, Bella.'
I felt tears prick my eyes and I wrapped my arms around him and hugged him, he chuckled and made a show of trying to free himself but I could
see the emotion in his eyes when he smiled down at me. Then I heard the truck pull into the driveway and darted out to meet Edward.
'What took you so long?' I called as he got out of the truck. I skipped down the steps and met him half way 'I was worried, did you get lost?'
He threw his arm across my shoulder and pressed his lips to my hair 'I met Jasper.'
I stiffened and he smiled down at me 'Don't worry it was all very civilised, we went for a beer.'
We were inside now and he handed me a bag containing two bottles of wine while he removed his jacket.
'What did he say?'
'He asked how Alice is doing.' He said taking the bag back but making no move to step into the living room 'And I think he might drop by later,'
he touched my cheek with his thumb 'to see you.'
A lump formed in my throat but before I could say anything he took my hand and kissed it before heading into the kitchen and giving the wine to
Sue.
Dinner was lovely and as we sat round the tiny kitchen table the conversation flowed, Sue was probably the most positive person I'd ever met
and it was easy to see why Charlie had fallen for her. She kept prompting him to tell us stories about work that he'd already shared with her and it
was nice to see him so relaxed and talkative for a change.
Edward and I were doing the washing up when there was a knock at the door and I knew instantly it would be Jasper. Edward turned to me with a
soft smile 'Go, I'll finish up here.'
Charlie had already answered the door by the time I got there and he slipped discretely away as I took my coat off the hook and stepped outside.
'Hi.' I said quietly
'Hi.'
I stood staring at him for a moment not sure what to say and then he pulled me into his arms and hugged me 'I've missed you so much!' He
gasped and then pulled back hesitantly 'Is this okay?'
I nodded and buried my face in his chest. We walked between our houses and I looked at the pile of wood 'We have nowhere to go now.' I said.
He rifled his fingers through his hair and looked at me regretfully, 'I shouldn't have pulled it down but I just couldn't stand to look at it anymore.' His
eyes dropped 'It hurt too much.'
We took the trail that led into the forest, the rain had stopped but the ground was soft and the only sound was the squelching beneath our feet.
'Are you coming back to Seattle?' I asked finally.
He shrugged 'I haven't decided,' He stopped 'How did Edward know that I applied to NYU?'
 His question surprised me a little but it revealed some of what he and Edward had talked about 'Your mom told me before we went to Seattle
that that was where you wanted to go, why did you never tell me?'
'Remember when you said you didn't want to go to college?' He asked and I nodded 'I applied then, but when you changed your mind and
suggested we go to Seattle together I didn't want to go to New York without you.'
'Do you regret it now?'
He smiled 'Not at all, we had some good times in Seattle and I met ...' his voice trailed off 'Edward said I should call her.'
'Really?'
His head snapped up 'You don't think I should?'
'No that's not it, I'm just surprised that Edward suggested it.'
'I asked him how she's doing and he said I should ask her myself, but I don't know if it's just better to let her get on with it. I don't want to keep
opening up old wounds.'
I touched his arm 'Jasper, I know she'd like to hear from you, I'm not saying she's going to leap back into your arms or anything, I just think she'd
appreciate it if you gave her a call to see how she's doing, you know?'
His eyes shimmered 'I'll call her tonight.'
We talked about Leah moving in and a little about what the future might hold, we were tentative and I knew it would never be the same again but I
had come to realise that our relationship would have evolved anyway. We couldn't have kept up that level of closeness when we had other people in
our lives that meant more, but it was enough to know that we could at last find our way halfway back.
We walked back to the house and he hugged me 'It's been so good to see you Bella.' He whispered.
'You should come and have dinner with us one night,' I suggested 'maybe in a couple of weeks.'
He rubbed his hand through his hair 'I'd like that but maybe I'll just pop in for a coffee first, I think we should take this slow, Edward is being great
about this but I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable.'
'Okay,' I agreed 'I'll call you soon.'
He started walking towards his house 'Good luck!' I called and he turned and frowned at me in confusion 'For when you call Alice.' I said.
He thanked me and took the steps two at a time and then disappeared into his house.
It was late when we arrived home and I was exhausted I dropped my bags on the floor and took my coat off but when I bent to pick up the bags
Edward stopped me.
'Leave them, we can get them in the morning,' He kissed me 'let's just go to bed.'
I smiled and wrapped my arms around him it felt so good to be home and after the weekend we'd shared it felt somehow different, like we were
closer and this truly was our home now. He stripped me naked and then removed his own clothes before climbing into bed beside me and
wrapping me in his arms.
I felt like I'd only just closed my eyes when the telephone woke me and I was surprised to see it was light when I got out of bed and padded into
the living room to answer it.
'Morning Bella,' Alice cooed 'did I wake you?'
'Um... yes.. what time is it?'
'It's just gone eight.' She chirped and she was entirely too breezy for this time of the day 'Jasper called.'
'Good.' I said stifling a yawn 'Edward and I spoke to him yesterday.'
'I know, he told me.'
'How was it?'
She sighed 'It was nice to hear from him, he seems to be doing okay now.'
'I think he's getting there.' I agreed.
'Listen, Leah and I are having a party next weekend,' she said completely changing the subject 'a sort of moving in celebration for Leah and I
have some news too.'
'What is it?' I asked fully awake now.
 'I'll tell you at the party.' She giggled.
'Did you invite Jasper?'
There was a pause before she answered 'No,' she said sadly 'It would be too weird having him here, maybe one day I won't feel like that, but it's
too soon right now.' Her voice brightened 'Jacob's coming, maybe you and I can do a little meddling and finally get him and Leah together.'
I laughed at that. We talked for a little longer and then I said goodbye and scurried back to bed.
Edward was awake and he wolf whistled when I walked into the room and I realised I was still naked, I laughed and did a little twirl before slipping
in beside him.
'We need to take care of those bags we dumped in the hallway.' I said pressing against him.
He took my hand and placed it on his hot erection 'We need to take care of this first.' He growled.
a/n Thanks for reading and reviewing it really does mean a lot. I'm not sure if there is only one or two chapters left but since I'm
going away it will be next weekend before I update again.
x
Chapter 42
A/N I don't own any of the characters they all belong to Stephenie Meyer, I don't intend to infringe anything here I'm just borrowing
them for fun.
Well here is the final chapter, I had a tough job writing it and it's even tougher posting it because I don't want it to end! *sniff*
If it hadn't been for that ash cloud mucking up my trip to New York in April, I probably wouldn't have written this. It all turned out
fine, I got to NY in May and I also got to have fun with this story! Yay!
Thanks to EVERYONE who has reviewed, put the story and me on favourites and alerts. I've met so many awesome people during
the course of this story it's been a great experience. If you haven't reviewed yet please leave one now! I'd really appreciate it.
I hope you like the ending okay!
x
In typical Alice style the party was scheduled to be an all day event , even though the weather had turned cooler she had borrowed patio heaters
and a marquee and was still planning on having part of it outside. Edward and I offered to turn up early but it seemed that between her and Leah
they had drummed up enough assistance already.
Edward and I arrived just after two o'clock and there were already a lot of people there, it felt good to arrive with him and I couldn't help but think
how different it was to the last time Alice had a party. I had a feeling I'd be drawing parallels to that all day.
Leah was the first to greet us and I almost didn't recognise her, her smile was so wide and she was positively bouncing on her feet as she
ushered us inside. She hugged me exuberantly and Edward's eyebrows rose in surprise as he mouthed 'What the fuck?' from behind her. He was
joking of course but it really was a drastic transformation in her demeanour.
'So are you settling in okay?' I asked pulling back a little and trying to hide my chuckle at Edward's animated expression.
'I wish I'd done it years ago.' She smiled 'I haven't felt this free in years, I feel like a completely different person.'
'I can see that.' I nodded 'You look fantastic.'
I wondered how the whole moving out thing had gone, how Paul had taken it but since she seemed so happy I didn't want to be the party pooper
so I didn't ask. She turned to Edward and smiled and then after asking us what we wanted to drink skipped off to get it.
'Wow!' Edward said looping his arm around my waist 'I don't think I've ever seen that girl smile.'
'I don't think she's had anything to smile about in a long time, I'm so happy for her.' I sighed and he squeezed me closer.
We ventured out into the garden, the sun was high in the sky and it was still pleasant even though there were some threatening clouds and the
wind was a little chilly. I was surprised to see Esme and Carlisle sitting at the patio table but Edward quickly steered us over.
'Bella,' Esme smiled 'it's nice to see you again.'
'You too.' I said taking a seat beside her. Edward sat down beside me and clasped his hand around mine. I saw Esme glance down at our hands
with a hint of a smile.
'Did you enjoy your trip to the cabin last weekend?' She enquired.
'Very much.' I replied and when Edward squeezed my hand a furious blush crept over my face and I felt mortified that I'd more or less revealed
the nature of our weekend.
'We should all go up for a weekend before the weather turns,' Carlisle suggested 'it's been too long since you and I were up there Esme.' He
turned to me 'The isolation is something else isn't it?'
I nodded but felt the blush flame on my cheeks again. Edward chuckled slightly behind me and it was all I could do not to kick him.
'The area is very beautiful.' I choked out.
We discussed the merits of Taylor Creek for a while as the garden began to fill up, Jacob arrived and came over to say hello before rejoining the
four men he'd arrived with. Edward informed me two of them were friends of Jacob's from the reservation he grew up on and the other two were
Leah's brothers.
Edward and Carlisle became engrossed in a conversation about his impending Internship and since Esme seemed content to listen I decided to
go look for Alice.
I could see her in the kitchen preparing food with Leah but as I made my way forward I spotted Jacob sitting alone in the dining room.
'You hiding from someone?' I asked leaning on the door frame.
His head whipped up and his eyes looked troubled before a wide grin spread across his face 'No, not at all,' he said 'I'm just...um..' his shoulders
sagged and the grin faded 'okay, you caught me.'
I sat down beside him 'Is something wrong?'
'No,' he swiped his hand across the back of his neck and I couldn't help but smile at the small blush that coloured his dark skin 'I'm just a little
worried about...' his blush deepened 'Leah, asked me to stay over tonight.' He said the last part really fast like a child admitting to some
misdemeanour.
'Oh!' My eyebrows shot up 'Well, um, isn't that a good thing?'
'Yeah, but I'm just worried that maybe we're moving too fast, she only just got out of a bad marriage and now she's jumping into a relationship
with me!'
I touched his arm 'Jacob, you two have been dancing around each other for years and her marriage has been over for a long time,' I looked over
my shoulder and could see Leah still busying away in the kitchen with Alice 'I don't think you are moving too fast but it's really not for me to tell you
that. You should speak to Leah, weren't you the one who told me to be honest with Edward and everything would work out?'
He looked up and smiled nodding 'Yeah.'
'Yeah.' I repeated 'So maybe you should take your own advice.'
'I just don't want to fuck it up, she's been through so much shit already.'
'Well talk to her!' I laughed.
'We've talked every night since she moved in but we've never really discussed us.' He admitted.
'Did she have a tough time moving out?' I asked.
'She claims it wasn't as bad as she'd thought, of course he was angry and they had a massive row about it, she won't tell me what he said, but I
can imagine he wouldn't have pulled his punches.' He sighed 'I felt like a coward staying out of the way.'
'It would have only made things worse for her if you were there.'
'I know but I still feel bad, I just wanted to support her.'
'You can do that now,' I smiled 'you're together now, you can be anything she needs you to be.'
'What are you two whispering about?'
I stood up when I heard Leah's voice and shot Jacob a pointed look before leaving them to it.
Alice was on her way into the room but I shook my head as I walked out closing the door behind me, her eyebrow quirked in question.
'Jacob is talking to Leah, do you think you could give them a few minutes?'
She nodded knowingly and I followed her back into the kitchen. A few minutes later the two of them emerged from the dining room and headed
upstairs.
'I guess they're going somewhere more private to talk.' I mused as I watched them.
Alice giggled behind me 'Hmm, I think they might have more than talking in mind.'
I spent the next couple of hours enjoying the food and wine and talking with Esme and Alice and when it got too cold to sit outside everyone
moved into the house where the music was a lot louder and the atmosphere a little more raucous. Esme and Carlisle were preparing to leave when
Alice came over.
'Are you leaving already?' She shouted over the din.
'I think we should,' Esme smiled 'if we stay any longer we'll cramp your style.'
'But I haven't told you my news yet.'
I'd forgotten that she'd said she had something to tell us and I looked at Edward for any sign that he knew what it might be but he looked as
clueless as I did. She led us into the utility room beyond the kitchen where it was quieter.
She turned to us and she was positively beaming 'This is actually not just a welcome party for Leah, it's a leaving party for me too!'
'You're leaving?' The first gasp was Esme's.
'I'm going to Europe!' Alice squealed clapping her hands and it was the most excited I'd ever seen her.
Esme's face fell and Carlisle slid his hand around her shoulder. 'But that's so far away, we'll hardly see you!'
 Alice pulled her mother into her arms and hugged her 'I'm not moving there permanently, mom!' she chided softly 'I'm going to stay with Angela
for a month and then we are going to tour Europe together for four months.' She sighed happily 'I don't know why I didn't do this years ago.'
'But what about your job?' It was Carlisle who spoke this time and I could see Alice's enthusiasm wane under her parent's lukewarm reaction.
'I've taken a six month career break,' she explained 'I could have taken a year but I figured if I took that long I might not want to go back.'
'You might not want to come back at all!' Esme whined.
'Mom, can't you just be happy for me, I've had a rough time lately, I just want to get away from it all for a while, recharge the batteries, then I'll be
back and I can move on?'
Esme wrapped her arms around her 'I'm sorry, I'm being selfish,' she pulled back and kissed Alice's cheek 'I'll just miss you, I like seeing you
every day!'

Alice smiled 'I'll call you every day, and I'll email you every night and I'll send you photos of everything I do and everyone I meet, it'll be like you're
there with me!' Her enthusiasm was back.
'When do you leave?' I asked.
'Next Saturday!'
Esme gasped again but this time she bit her tongue and remained silent. Carlisle hit her with a barrage of questions about her travel
arrangements, what was she doing about the house, did she have adequate insurance, how was she planning on getting around Europe. Edward
and I stood and watched in amusement as Alice fielded every one expertly, she'd thought of everything.
Carlisle and Esme left and we rejoined the party, in the time that we'd been away Emmett and Rosalie had arrived and I was dismayed to see
Lauren with them. They made their way towards us and Lauren's eyes never left Edward. I felt him squeeze my hand and I smiled up at him.
'Aw! Look at you two all loved up and shit!' Emmett laughed clapping us both on the back and almost knocking me over in the process.
'Leave them alone!' Rosalie grinned swiping his arm.
Lauren said a quiet hello and then the three of them headed off to get drinks. By evening the party was in full swing and Edward was leaning
back against the wall with me nestled in his arms, back to him as we watched people dancing.
He rested his chin on my shoulder 'Do you wanna dance?' He asked and then he pressed a light kiss just below my ear.
I was conscious that we were still being watched by Lauren and perhaps unkindly, I was a little glad of it, it felt nice to be seen with Edward even
by her malicious eyes.
'I'm happy where I am.' I said to him as he tightened his grip and pulled me back a little closer to him, his hands pressed on my belly and I was hit
with the need to pee 'Actually, I think I need to go to the bathroom.'
He grumbled a little but let me go, I smiled as I passed Jacob and Leah completely engrossed in one another while they danced. Alice was
standing with Emmett and Rosalie and Leah's brothers had made a bee line for Lauren who was loving the attention, even though her eyes kept
flicking in Edward's direction. Edward winked at me as I stole a glance at him before hurrying up the stairs.
I smiled at myself in the bathroom mirror as I washed my hands, the alcohol was buzzing through my system and I felt just a little woozy but it was
a comfortable woozy. I opened the door to leave and jumped in fright when I saw Edward looming there.
'You know,' I said when I'd regained some of my equilibrium 'it's getting to the stage that every time I open a bathroom door, I expect to see you
lurking there.'
'I missed you!' He grinned taking my hand and pulling me hard against his chest.
His lips brushed over mine and I moaned as his tongue swept along my bottom lip before sliding into my mouth. He was pulling me out into the
hallway as he kissed me and I broke the kiss when I almost stumbled over his feet. He backed into one of the rooms.
'What are you doing?' I squeaked as he closed the door behind us and we were enveloped in complete darkness.
His lips were right by my ear as I heard the soft click of the lock 'What I wanted to do at the last party.' He murmured.
'Edward!' I gasped 'We can't!'
His arms snaked around me and he pulled me closer and I could already feel his erection before I was flush against it. 'Relax, this is the spare
room, nobody will try to get in.'
He peppered my neck with wet open mouthed kisses and as his hands slid underneath my top 'I want you baby!' He crooned 'Right here. Right
now!'
I moaned as his hand cupped my breast and he pressed himself against me a little harder, I couldn't deny him, I wanted him just as much. I
gasped when he released me suddenly and then I listened while he felt his way across the room before a lamp came on and I saw him leaning over
it beside the bed. The light was soft and welcome as I moved towards him.
He was insatiable and had me naked in seconds, I scooted across the bed as I watched him remove his own clothes and squashed down the
pang of guilt that we were doing this in Alice's house in the middle of her party, but the voices and music drifting up from downstairs made it all the
more exciting.
He loomed over me, his eyes shining and kissed me before taking my hand 'When I'm at the hospital, will you miss me?' He whispered placing
my hand on my abdomen and flattening my fingers across my skin.
'Yes.' I nodded with a smirk 'Every night you're away I'll be so lonely.'
He slid my hand lower 'Will you think of me?'
My fingers brushed the soft strip of hair and I moaned when I realised what he was doing.
'Will you touch yourself?'
He pushed my finger into the wetness between my lips 'Yes!' I whimpered as he pressed my finger onto my clit.
'What will you think about?' His other hand cupped my chin.
'Your kisses.'
His warm lips covered mine and his tongue slid into my mouth, I moaned appreciatively but he pulled back all too soon 'What else?'
I swallowed hard as he slid my hand deeper between my legs and guided my middle finger inside, 'use your thumb,' he whispered pressing it to
my clit 'Now tell me what else you'll be thinking about.'
'The way you nibble my ear and neck.'
His teeth captured my lobe and I rubbed a little harder as he bit down gently before scraping his teeth gently down my neck.
'I'll be thinking about the way you suck my nipples.'
I felt his smile as he moved lower and I cried out when he flicked my nipple violently with his tongue before wrapping his warm lips around it and
sucked lightly.
'Hard!' I gasped and he sucked so hard I thought he might lift me off the bed.
He slid his finger in alongside mine and my legs opened wider as he began stroking me and pressing my thumb harder against my aching flesh.
He moved to my other nipple as his hand worked mine hard and fast and I could feel it coming.
'Oh yes,' I hissed trying hard to keep my voice down.
'Keep going baby,' He said removing his hand and placing it on my hip 'you look so fucking hot, I'll be thinking about this!'
His face was inches from mine but he was looking down, watching me, I could feel his breath on my chest. 'That's it baby, make yourself come,
let me see you come.'
His eyes flicked up to my face and were so filled with arousal I felt my walls begin to tremble as I bit my lip and moved my thumb and fingers
faster. 'Oh, God,' I whimpered 'I'm coming!'
My hips bucked and I couldn't hold the load moan as his lips covered my nipple again and I rode out my orgasm calling his name.
He moved my hand and I felt him push into me while my muscles were still contracting 'Fuck!' He hissed as he slid all the way in and I clenched
around him.
'What will you be thinking?' I asked wrapping my legs around his waist and sliding my fingers into his hair. I gripped it and pulled his head up
forcing him to look at me 'Will you be thinking about the meadow?' He pulled out and slid back in again and my eyes rolled back, I focussed on his
again 'How you made me come with your mouth, while I sucked your cock?'
'Oh, fuck, yes!' He groaned, his hips starting to piston harder.
I was panting and my voice was croaky but I wanted to take him over the edge 'Or how you fucked me over the railings at the cabin,' my words
were punctuated by his hard thrusts 'you fucked me so hard that day, Edward!'
His eyes were rolling back and a bead of sweat slid down his forehead, I wanted to lick it and pulled him closer so I could do just that. 'I'll always
be thinking about you fucking me, making me come with your tongue, how good your cock feels in my mouth..' I could feel him swelling within me, I
could see the strain on his face 'give it to me,' I groaned 'I want your cum, Edward, Oh god..'
He started to buck hard and his eyes rolled back as he let out a loud 'Fuck!' before he buried his face in my neck and pounded through his
orgasm.
Our hearts were hammering, our chests heaving and then all at once we were laughing and he pulled up looking into my eyes 'You are one dirty
little girl, Bella Swan,' he pecked my lips 'and I fucking love it!'
'You started it!' I pointed out 'I just took it and ran with it!'
He gave me a long deep kiss 'If we were at home, I'd make love to you now!' He smiled.
His reminder of our whereabouts had me scooting out from under him 'We should get dressed!' I sighed.
'Let's just go home.' He suggested pulling his jeans on.
I nodded frowning at the bed 'Do you think we should strip the sheets?'
I had lunch with Alice on Tuesday, she was brimming with excitement about her upcoming trip and I tried to match her enthusiasm but I was a little
sad that she was leaving so I failed miserably.
'I'm so glad Leah moved in,' she said sipping her iced tea, 'it's good to know that someone is looking after the house while I'm gone.'
'Did Jacob stay over after the party?' I asked.
She smiled 'He went home to help his dad but then came back and he's practically did the same thing every night since.'
'I'm so happy for them.' I mused and then I noticed her smile falter slightly, I covered her hand with mine 'You'll have a great time in Europe and
we'll all still be here when you get back.'
She nodded a little misty eyed 'I will miss you all but this is something I have to do, I just need to...' Her voice trailed off.
'I know.' I smiled. 'Are your parents taking you to the airport?' I asked changing the subject.
'Oh God no!' she laughed 'Mom will be in floods of tears and dad will bombard me with more questions, no I'll say goodbye to them on Friday
night at the house and I'll get a cab to the airport.'
'Edward and I could take you.' I offered.
'Thanks Bella,' she smiled 'but I'd really rather take a cab, I hate emotional goodbyes at the airport,' she laughed 'well actually I've never
experienced one but I imagine I'd hate it. Don't worry though, I'll pop over on Saturday morning before I leave.'
On Friday just before I was due to finish my shift Jasper came into the Deli, I was delighted to see him 'What brings you here?' I asked rushing to
greet him.
'I was up seeing one of my Professors today, getting a letter from him, so I thought I'd stop by, I went to the apartment first but there was no one
home' he looked a little hesitant 'you don't mind do you?'
'Of course I don't,' I pulled his arm and plonked him down at a table 'I've only got fifteen minutes left, I'll bring you a coffee, then you can come
home with me and I'll make you dinner.'
'What about Edward?'
I smiled 'He's out kickboxing with Emmett, he'll be home later, and before you ask, yes its okay and he won't mind.'
I hurried back to the counter to get his coffee.
'Who's that?' Amy asked eyeing him appreciatively.
'That's my best friend.' I grinned.
'What is it with you and hot guys?' She laughed.
An hour later we were sitting at the table in the apartment eating pasta.
'What was the letter about?' I asked sipping my wine. He looked up quizzically 'The one you got from your professor.' I elaborated.
'Oh that!' He smiled 'Well, that's part of the reason why I came to see you, I've reapplied to NYU and he's been helping me out with my application
and references and stuff, the letter is just a formality, I've more or less secured my place.'
I dropped my fork, 'First Alice and now you, is everybody leaving?'
'Don't be like that, Bella,' he frowned 'I need the change, I appreciate you and Edward giving me a second chance and it's not like you'll never
see me again, but I just want to..' he paused 'hell, I don't know, I just want to build a life for me, there's too many memories around here that I'd rather
forget.'
'Oh Jasper I feel like I just got you back and now you're leaving.'
He moved around the table and knelt beside my chair 'Bella, I'll still call you all the time, you can come visit me, I'm only a phone call or a plane
ride away.'
 I sighed 'I know, but I just worry that Alice won't come back from Europe and you'll stay in New York and that's not how things were meant to be.'
He smiled and cupped my cheek 'Yeah, well we know who ruined the happy ever after don't we.'
'Don't say...' I reached out to him but ended up knocking my wine glass over and drenching him in wine. 'Shit!' I hissed jumping up 'I'm so sorry,
take that off, I better rinse it before it stains.
'It's okay.' He laughed wiping at it with his hand. 'This is an old shirt anyway.'
'Actually,' I said moving towards my old room 'I think I still have a couple of your shirts that you left behind, I'll go get you one.'
I rummaged the drawers and true enough I found one of his shirts I was just coming out of the room when the door opened and Edward came in
smiling.
'I won!' He grinned scooping me into his arms 'Can you believe it, I actually kicked Emmett's ass for once.'
I giggled as he pressed his lips to mine 'Mmm,' he murmured 'you taste like wine.'
I opened my mouth to talk but his lips covered mine and I melted into his kiss, he brushed his fingers through my hair and angled his head slightly
before his tongue slid into my mouth. He pulled back and pressed his forehead to mine, his thumbs massaging my cheekbones.
'D'you wanna take the bottle to bed?' He murmured 'I really want to make love to my girl.'
I blushed to the roots of my hair 'Um... Edward,' I said pulling away a little 'we're not alone,' He looked up and I turned to see Jasper waving
awkwardly from the living room 'Jasper's here.' I said unnecessarily.
'Shit!' Edward hissed but he was smiling 'Sorry, man I didn't realise.'
'Um.. it's okay,' Jasper said clearly embarrassed 'I should probably go.'
'No, don't leave on my account.' Edward insisted eyeing the wine stain on Jasper's shirt.
I held up the clean shirt 'I spilled wine on him, luckily he left a couple of shirts behind.' I threw the shirt at Jasper and he retreated into the
bathroom to change.
Edward turned and pulled me into his arms 'Sorry, baby,' he sniggered 'I didn't mean to embarrass you.'
'You don't mind that he's here?' I asked and he shook his head 'God, if you'd come in a few minutes later he'd probably be standing shirtless in
here.'
He kissed my cheek 'Yeah, that might have been awkward, but I meant it when I told you I trust you Bella, I know how you feel about me and I'm
not going to jump to any more conclusions.'
'I'm glad to hear it.' I said and he bent to kiss me again.
Jasper cleared his throat and I slipped out of Edwards grip moving to the table and lifting the plates 'I'll just heat these up in the microwave,' I said
heading to the kitchen. I made a plate for Edward and we sat together at the table, the conversation was a little stilted at first but then Jasper started
talking about New York and it flowed from there.
After the meal Edward gave Jasper a beer before helping me with the dishes, his hands kept sliding across my back as he passed me and he
would plant little kisses on my cheek too, eventually I realised it was taking longer than necessary and shooed him into the front room.
When I finished Edward was in the bathroom and Jasper was texting on his phone.
'Who are you texting?' I asked as I settled on the sofa swinging my legs up onto it.
He smiled 'Alice.'
My eyes popped open.
'Yeah, we've been talking off and on this past week and she's been texting me back and forth too.'
'That's great!'
'Don't get all excited on me, Bella,' he scolded gently 'it's just a couple of texts and a few phone calls between friends that's all. She's still going to
Europe and I'm still going to New York and beyond that I have no idea what's going to happen.'
'But you still love her?'
He nodded 'Yeah, I do, but right now, I'm not what she needs.' We heard the toilet flush and his words became a little more urgent 'You know, I
really wish I'd taken the time to see you two together,' he inclined his head in the direction of the bathroom 'now that I've seen the way he is with you,
I regret my actions more than ever.'
 'It's done now.' I said shaking my head 'You don't have to keep going over it Jasper, we're fine now.'
'I know,' he said 'it's just amazing to see how happy you are. To see the way he's so affectionate with you and attentive, I never imagined he'd be
like that. I've never been so glad to be so wrong.'
Edward came back into the room and sat beside me, he lifted my legs into his lap 'What're we watching?' He asked turning to the tv and rubbing
my legs distractedly.
Jasper glanced down at Edwards hands and then smiled knowingly at me and I could see the truth in his eyes, he genuinely was happy for me.
'I'm gonna go,' he announced standing up 'I have an early start tomorrow.'
I got up and walked him to the door, 'You know you could stay here tonight,' I said pausing before opening it 'I mean it's a long drive to... wait,
you've been drinking, how are you getting home?'
'I'm actually staying at Emmett's place tonight,' he lowered his voice 'Alice asked me to take her to the airport tomorrow and she arranged for me
to stay at Emmett's.' He brushed his hair away from his face 'I think she just wants to talk a little more before she goes.' He reached out and opened
the door 'I'll leave my car here and come get it in the morning.'
'Alice is coming to say goodbye, in the morning, maybe you could both come for breakfast.' I suggested, hope bubbling in my chest.
He kissed my forehead 'Don't start with the matchmaking Bella,' he laughed gently 'let us find our own way.' He smiled down at me 'I'll call you!'
I closed the door behind him and Edward was standing at the end of the hallway watching me with a smile. I went to him and he wrapped me in
his arms.
'Thanks for tonight,' I murmured against his chest 'it was nice.'
He kissed my head 'It was.' He sounded a little surprised as if he'd only just realised it.
'I feel like everything's going to be okay.' I smiled touching his cheek.
He chuckled lifting me into his arms and carried me to the bedroom 'More than okay.' He promised.
a/n So that's it! It's over! Thanks for reading and reviewing and making me smile! If you enjoyed my story please leave a short
review. If you didn't enjoy my story, please leave a long review. ;o)
I'm sorry for the errors that are in this fic, I am now working harder on that side of things. I don't have time to go back and fix all the
typos and punctuation mistakes but I hope it didn't hurt your enjoyment of the plot.
I have a new story now posting it's on my profile and it's called Secrets and Lies, I'd appreciate if you'd check it out and let me
know what you think.