I watched the window as the light started to embrace slowly every tree near the

house. The light shined through every leaf, to mark a new day ahead.
The sunny days in Forks weren’t usual. There were few of them, and everybody in
town cherished them with all of their being, and it was even more special that it
was a sunny day in November. It was like the nature gave its last breath before the
snow will arrive.
I listened in silence, as the birds were starting to sing slowly as the wind would
start to breeze slowly between the leaves. It was a new day to shine, a new day to
live, but I didn’t want to get out of the bed.
Especially I didn’t plan to continue with my life, as I promised to the one who
broke my heart.
I sighed deeply as I thought about my life that I lived for the last month.
For you that may ask who I am, let me introduce myself. My name is Isabella Swan,
born on September 13th, I am 18 years old and I was in love with a vampire named
Edward Cullen who abandoned me in the woods.
I met Edward a few months ago, when I moved in Forks. I moved with my dad, Charlie
Swan who is the Chief of Police here in Forks. I moved with him because my mother
Renee remarried and wanted to go with her husband Phil across the country. I wanted
some stability in my life and also to make Renee happy and that’s why I left
Phoenix and went to Forks.
And then I met Edward Cullen.
At first, he was very cold to me, almost throwing daggers with his stare when we
sat in the same room. I didn’t know why I angered him too much but the fate decided
to always cross paths, waiting for something more. The more I was intrigued by his
presence, the more I noticed. His snow like skin and his honey eyes that changed
like night from a week to another.
He saved me when I was almost crushed by Tyler’s van when it slipped on ice. He
stopped the van with his hand and now I realized that I entered in another type of
story.
After a lot of research from the Quileute legends, I found out that he was a cold
one. A vampire. I confronted him, wanting to know the truth and he gave me the
answers. We started to fall in love. I started to imagine my life with him, as a
vampire but he always refused. After a while I met his family and I loved them
instantly. I always wanted a big family. They protected me when I was followed by
James, a nomad that wanted to drain me in his game and they saved me. Edward
managed to extract the venom from his bite right before I transformed. Even if I
disagreed for a second, he truly wanted me to live. I argued for a while but I
loved him nevertheless.
But after the incident that happened at my birthday, he decided to show his true
colors. He told me that he was done pretending and only found me as a distraction.
He left with his family, and with all the love and the promise of more.
I was alone, yet again in the woods. I was found later unconscious and almost dead.
Sometimes I wish that I was.
So I am sitting in my bed, wondering what the point of living is. The pain in my
chest blossomed again as I thought of his absence in my life. As bitter as I sound
now, he gave my life a meaning. He gave me a future and safety, some things that I
didn’t have in my life and I craved dearly. I always believed in love, in true
breathtaking love that wins despite of everything. I believed in our eternity.
But it didn’t last. I wasn’t enough.
As I was preparing to be swallowed by the darkness and the despair that I’ve felt
since that night in the forest, I heard my father leaving the house. I tried to
crawl out of bed and to start another day. Another torture.
I didn’t remember how I got to school, but as soon as I entered the hallways of the
high school, I started to see for the first time how people reacted to my presence.
In their stare I saw pity, amusement and curiosity. As I walked to my locker I felt
their stares crawling under my skin and how my breathing started to be short and
irregular. As I opened my locker, I felt my head spinning slightly as the crowd was
coming and the voices and the stares continued.
The tears started to sting my eyes as the hole in my chest started to itch and
vibrate with pain. The voices were getting louder in my head and the stares were,
as my heart started to beat faster and my ears started to redden. I tried to
concentrate on the books that I had to pick but I couldn’t read anything.
A laugh started behind my back while other people cheered and talked. I took my bag
and closed the locker as I ran towards the bathroom and I hoped that I would just
disappear.
I entered in a cabin and suddenly I felt the urge to puke. As I sat closer to the
toilet, my stomach started to contract and gave me pain as I was throwing up. After
the waved of pain started to fade away, I felt the world’s weight on my lungs. I
started to whimper as I listened the bell rang and how everybody went to classes. I
was hanging on the toilet as the tears started to fall on my cheeks and how the
tension started to spread in my entire body. I couldn’t control anything, my mind,
my body, my emotions, and my life. I was a mess and I just couldn’t do anything but
to sit and cry.
As I was drowning under my emotions, the door opened suddenly behind my back.I
looked up and I saw a tall figure but I couldn’t see the face because of my tears.I
heard a voice but I couldn’t distinguish anything as I was lifted up by my
shoulders and put on a chair near the window. The voice continued to speak but I
couldn’t concentrate on anything.A hand was touching my face as my hand touched
something.As I concentrated more,I could feel the waves of breathing and the pulse
of that person.The hand on my face was warm and soft and I started to focus more on
the warmth of the body as the chest was expanding and contracting.
My pulse started to slow down and the pressure in my ears started to fade slowly
away.My chest was imitating a pathetic attempt of the person next to me but it
brought me back on the surface.
After a while, the tension went away and I could control my breathing and my mind
again.I focused on the person next to me and I could see a raven haired woman with
eyes as green as a forest.Her lips were curved in a shy smile that reminded me of
Esme.I tried to inhale again as I was lost in her green infinite,where I was met
with love and compassion.
I smiled at her and I was met with a brighter smile as before.
“Are you okay my dear?” asked the mysterious brunette with concern.
I quietly nodded because I was too afraid to speak.Because I knew that if I started
to speak about what happened I wouldn’t stop even if I tried.
Her hand touched my head with care,as a mother looks up to her baby.In that moment
I realized that Renee didn’t contact me for almost 4 months and didn’t ask about me
since the James accident.This sudden thought put more tears in my eyes as I tried
to calm down.
“You are not alone my child.You may feel that you can’t speak with nobody about
what happened or that you must hide in the shadows to protect yourself or the
others.Let your friends and family help you.Let the emotions flow.Don’t hide to
please others”
I looked shocked at her as I wondered how she knew so much.
“You may be surprised of what I know or the others know.The bond between Edward
Cullen’s world and yours aren’t that different Bella Swan.You were a part of his
world before he met you.”
“I don’t understand..how could you know what I thought? How could you know about
his world?I didn’t belong with him because he didn’t want me..I’m just a pathetic
human“ I asked full of confusion.
Her lips parted in a full white smile, unnatural and almost challenging.She wiped
my tears that remained on my cheeks and came closer to my ears.The hair on my neck
raised when her breathing came closer to my skin.
“I doubt that you are just a pathetic human Bella.After all,I chose you to help his
world.”
I moved away from her,scared from her words and I started to think if this was just
an illusion,as his presence in my dreams..
“I’m real as the nature itself Isabella. And you need to rediscover yourself.Start
living my child..”she whispered as I let my body absorb her words.As I closed my
eyes and opened them again,the mysterious brunette was gone and I was left with
confusion and more peace than ever.
I took my bag and went to the nurse as I told her that I felt sick and she gave me
some stomach pills and told me that I should take care better of myself.I nodded
absently and took her notice as I went outside and sat on a bench until the next
class started.I looked at the sun that was touching my skin and I honestly did not
remember when I felt this calm.
Someway across the road of life I lost myself in the Cullen’s presence and I forgot
to breathe in the present.I felt lost and peaceful in a way,but more than that I
thought about the life that I had here before I met them and I realized that I had
a lot of things to make up to.Charlie was living without his daughter for a while
and my friends did not heard from me for a while.I didn’t visit Jacob or Billy and
they were the nearest thing that I could call family.
“I need to do something or I will drown again.They may be immortal,but I won’t be
so I must do something..” I started to mumble as I looked at the sun that was
hiding between the leaves.
“But how?How do I start living again?How do I continue?” I kept asking myself.
“You should talk with your friends..apologize and listen to them…they may not be
perfect but they are good people..”said an inner voice inside my head.

“I am going insane..but at least I will go insane by trying..