Sex with a disability

Overcoming stigmas and

dispelling myths
by Andrea Harris
Fulcrum Contributor
IN HIS 1987 autobiography Wheels in the Fast
Lane … a blessing in disguise, former
Albertan legislative assembly member Percy
Wickman explores a question posited by many,
if not all, disabled people: “Would anyone be
interested in what I could do physically?”
There is a common stigma associated with
people with disabilities and sexual activity. Ac-
cording to a 2001 Statistics Canada study, 13.5
per cent of Ontarians believe that disabled peo- ple
are asexual beings.
This stigma may contribute to people with
disabilities finding it difficult to form relation-
ships or sexual partnerships with others. Many
experts on disability agree that one of the most
difficult aspects of forming a relationship, or
even a sex life, is finding a person to develop
one with. Notably, a 2003 study entitled Re-
lationships, Sexuality and Adjustment Among
People with Physical Disability highlighted that
hindrances for people with disabilities include illustration by Martha Pearce
“social attitudes towards physical disability, over-
protective parents, a lack of privacy, a de- variety of people—slim and heavy, able-bodied it is for able-bodied individuals. For Wickman, mosexuality and all those unique characteristics that
pendence on others for care, and inaccessible and disabled—around the globe, he contends that who was left paralyzed as a result of a serious spi- nal make each one of us who we are as a man or
homes and meeting places”. this isn’t always how sex goes down. cord injury from a car accident, it has been a mind-
While considering these important aspects, a “The problem with sex these days is assump- expanding experience. He contended that woman.”
close relationship—sexual or not—is still very tions,” said Silverberg. “People assume that sex becoming disabled allowed him to get in touch The Centre for Students with
much possible for a person with a dis- ability. should be conducted in a certain spontaneous way with certain aspects of both his body and mind Disabili- ties, located in room 211F of
“Most [disabled] people think it must be between people who fulfill certain qualities, and that which had been ignored before. Prior to his pa- the Unicen- tre, is a friendly, safe space that
them, that there is a problem with who they is just not how it is in real life.” ralysis, Wickman said that he “used to equate offers infor- mation on disabilities, including
are as a person,” said Cory Silverberg, co-au- Although it may be difficult for sex to happen sexuality with sexual intercourse; now I believe sexually related materials. No appointments
thor of The Ultimate Guide to Sex and Disabil- spontaneously, many disabled people still en- gage sexuality is a blending of sexual behaviours, needed. Visit comeasyouare.com to
ity: For All of Us Who Live With Disabilities, in sexual activities. Whether one is suffer- ing from lifestyle, self-esteem, body image, knowledge, find sex toys that can be
Chronic Pain and Illness and co-owner of To- cerebral palsy, muscular dystrophy, or must use a feelings, male/female roles, heterosexuality, ho- adapted to a particular disability.
ronto adult fun store Come As You Are. “But catheter, sex is possible. As a result of chronic pain
the truth is that there is nothing wrong with you or mobility restrictions, the major- ity of sexual
as a person; it is how society views you [as encounters may have to be planned out in advance.
an asexual being] that makes it difficult to find Experimenting with and using sex toys is one
someone.” way of asserting one’s own sexual nature, as
One myth that Silverberg addresses in his book vibrators and dildos are also excellent ways to
is the way disabled people interact sexu- ally, overcome limited mobility issues. Most sex toys
tackling the misconception that disabled people (for men and women) can be adapted to include
don’t have ‘real sex’. He challenges the definition extendable remote controls or stretch- ing arms or
and predominant depiction of ‘real sex’, noting rods, suction cups or straps and harnesses so
that the most prevalent representa- tion in society mobility, stretching, and reaching is made easy.
is sex between two slim, attrac- tive young To some, living with a disability can prove
people. However, with the diverse exceedingly difficult and discouraging, but sex is
just as important for a healthy relationship as

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S2\\ Sex\\ 01.29.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca
 Restricting sex in Canadian media
Q&A with Marcus McCann
by Jaclyn Lytle
Fulcrum Staff
MARCUS MCCANN IS the associate publisher and
man- aging editor of Ottawa’s Capital Xtra!. Published
every three weeks, the gay and lesbian newspaper is the
largest and most widely read alternative publication in the
na- tion’s capital. The Fulcrum alumnus spoke about strict
representations of sex and sexuality issues in Canadian
media.
Fulcrum: What is the importance of having an alterna-
tive news resource like your publication in the city?
Marcus McCann: Our primary mandate is gay and lesbi-
an issues, but we do approach that from a sexual freedom
perspective. That incorporates all kinds of things. There’s a
broad basket of sex and sexuality issues that we deal with.
I think it’s fair to say that most media approach it from the
same angle and that their perspective tends to be a pretty
conservative one. As far as I know, we’re the only
publication—or our chain is at any rate—the only news-
paper chain that writes from a sexual freedom perspective
... There are other gay and lesbian publications, but they
tend to approach reporting from an equality-based rubric rather
photo courtesy Alex Eady than a sexual freedom rubric.
Marcus McCann, associate publisher and managing editor of Ottawa’s
Capital Xtra!, speaks to the Fulcrum about sex. How do you feel that issues of sex and sexuality are gen-
erally treated by more conventional news media?
FROM THE PRODUCERS I think [these issues are
OF “THE RING” AND handled] in two ways: I
“DISTURBIA” think that, from time to
time, there are explicit con-
We’re talking about anyone that masturbates, uses a sex
toy, has premarital sex, or isn’t marriage-minded at all,
people that have casual sex, or sex where it’s not just two
people. Obviously it extends to same-sex activity. If you
add up the people that have somehow broken some sex-
ual more or norm, we’re the great bulk of people, I think
across most age brackets.
How do you feel readers should approach material that
deals with the issue of sex and sexuality in the media?
I think once you come to terms with the fact that sex isn’t
something people should be ashamed of, then it changes the
way you read about sex and sexuality.
What do you think is the impact on readers when they
absorb material that presents limiting views so fre-
quently and subtly?
I don’t think it seriously affects how people behave, [but] I
think it sometimes affects how they feel about how they
behave. I’m not trying to preach that people have more
threesomes, or casual sex, or whatever. It’s just that people
ought to feel less ashamed or embarrassed about the kind of
sex that they’re already having. I think that’s one of the
possible outcomes of a more sex-positive attitude in me-
dia, if we could get that to happen.
Writing from a sex-positive perspective and keeping
sexual freedom in mind throughout the paper must
lead, on occasion, to issues of criticism and censorship.
How do you approach negative reactions to your pub-
lication?
Attacking ideas, I think, is
great. Criticize, yes. Write
letters to the editor, write

THE MOST SHOCKING

ENDING
YOU’LL EVER demnations of certain types of
EXPERIENCE! sex and sexual practices, and
they’re overt. They’re re-
ported on usually as things
that are criminal, [or] if not
criminal then as things that are
immoral or untoward in some
way. [Or], there’s often some
implicit anxiety on the part of
the [writer] or edi- tor when
dealing with issues of
unconventional sex and
sexuality. I think [the latter is]
probably harder to root
“I think once you come to blog posts, try to get on the
terms with the fact that radio talking about it. There’s
the famous American quote
sex isn’t something people that “Sunshine is the best
disinfectant”. You [give] the
should be ashamed of, then people who you disagree with
a chance to respond and to
it changes the way you read some extent [keep the
about sex and sexuality.” discussion about] it in the
public eye. If you really do
believe that your opinion is
the right one, and you can
forcefully argue your point,
then I don’t see what you

out, and, because they’re invisible, they can have a huge
effect on the way readers think about the topics that are
being discussed.
Do you feel that this apprehensive, traditional attitude is
reflective of the way our society thinks about sex?
I really do wonder about this. I think in some ways that
news organizations are behind the times, that they’re
more prudish than people at large. I think that most Ca-
nadians are with it. It may not be their cup of tea but they
understand that, if it doesn’t affect them, there’s really no
reason to get upset about it. I don’t know where this [atti-
tude] comes from but mainstream newspapers take pains to
imply that a lot of different types of sexual arrange- ments
are somehow unconventional. Almost everybody fits into
this paradigm [of sexual practices] somewhere.
have to be worried about. People are pretty clever; they
can figure it out, and if you really are on the right side of it I
think that people will come around.
I just get upset about people who want to end the dis-
cussion and clamp down on speech when it’s something
they disagree with. There is some [negativity towards the
publication] and it doesn’t surprise me. You can’t legis-
late social tolerance. People are entitled to their opin-
ions, and I don’t feel compelled to make everybody like
me.
I don’t even need them to respect me, especially. The
idea of monitoring somebody’s privately held beliefs is
[insignificant] in my mind. Things that are high on the pri-
ority list are getting bad anti-sex laws off the books, [and]
ending discrimination in the workplace and schools. In
terms of strategies of resistance, I think the best defence
against oppression is living a full and honest life.

Staff meetings.
SUBJECT TO
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andCold Spring Pictures. All
Rights Reserved.
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p.m.
UM
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JANUARY 30
www.thefulcrum.ca // 01.29.09 // Sex//
S3
 Dear Di
A d If you have a question for Di, email deardi@thefulcrum.ca.

Six years of student penetrat

sex

DEAR ALL,
My first column appeared in the Fulcrum on Sept. 26,
2002, so it’s been a little over six years since I first started
giving sex advice. Even though my inbox is stuffed, I’ve
decided to cel- ebrate and take the week off. Instead of the
usual new Q&As, below you’ll find my handpicked favourites
from my time at the Fulcrum. If you’d like to come out for
drinks with me and celebrate, I’m going dancing with the rest of
the Fulcrumites
this Saturday night at Pub 101. Come find me on the dance
floor. I’ll be wearing my red fuck-me pumps. And, yes,
I’ll be looking to pick up.
Love,
Di
Dear Di,
I found a pocket pussy in my boyfriend’s room! Is our
sex life that awful? Could he be cheating on me? Help!
—Real Pussy
Dear RP,
While I can’t answer your first question, your second is pretty
easy: No. Plastic chick burgers are not a threat. They don’t have
your breasts, ass, personality, or intelligence. Just thank your lucky
stars he’s not rubbing his dick between his mattress and boxspring
into a moisturized sandwich bag. The fact of the mat- ter is, no
matter how often you two fuck, he’s still going to mas- turbate, and
there’s absolutely nothing wrong with him spelunk- ing a silicone
snatch—so long as you two are still humping like bunnies, he’s
meeting all your needs, and blah blah blah. Until you find a $7000
Real Doll in his closet, I think things will be just fine.
Love,
Di
(10/11/07)
Dear FFF,
Asexuality—that is, indifference to sexual be-
haviour and lack of sexual attraction—might be
seemingly abnormal, but it is quickly gain-
ing credibility in the medical world and social
scene. Scientists have examined asexuality in rams
(2–3 per cent go without the nookie) and rats and gerbils
(an impressive 12 per cent won’t touch rodent rod). Asexuals
defend their behaviour as a true sexuality, like hetero or homo. It’s
best to straight-up ask the guy what his sexual preference is. If he
is asexual, it’s probably not something your potential boy toy can
change, so you should probably give the flirting a rest until you
find out if he’s a Morrissey or a Johnny Marr. Or you could always
give it a shot and try a meaningful, non-physical relationship.
Good luck.
Love,
Di
(02/01/07)
Dear Di,
My boyfriend and I have tried all the role-playing sugges-
tions you doled out in one of your columns last year. We are
stuck in a farmer/farmer’s wife rut (there are only so many
ways you can milk a cow). The bedroom scene is getting a bit
stale again, and we aren’t nearly as creative as you. We need
new material. What’s new in your role-playing repertoire?
—Bored in the Bedroom
Dear BITB,
The farmer/farmer’s wife rut is notoriously hard to escape
(once you shear the sheep, you never want to go back). Here are a
few that I’ve been fine-tuning:

first few times were very successful (it was painful for her at
at the Ka
Dear Di, by Hisham Kelati information about a w
I just started doing anal sex with my gf last week. While the • Lawyer and defendant Fulcrum Contributor conduct of the first w
• Baker and baker’s assistant
first, but she’s taking it better now, and I climaxed quickly), • Woody Allen and his adopted daughter, or alternatively,
the last time it happened was awful. I guess she had just gone Angelina Jolie and her brother
to the bathroom…and at some point when I pulled out • Dendrophiliac and balsam fir
my • Lonely parking lot attendant and your exhaust pipe
• Oedipus and Jocasta

Johnson there was actual fecal matter surfacing to her rectum. • 9/11 survivor and other wives (becoming
firefighter

I nearly gagged. I want to continue the ass-pounding, though • Bumblebee and THE KAMA SUTRA is the comprehensive new wives), courtesans
flower text
… Is there anything I can do to decrease the on human sexual behavior. It’s an ancient In- or old lover), and attrac
damage?

—Full of Shit Give some of these a shot and let me know how they turn dian text written sometime between the fourth and improve yourself physic
out. Have fun. sixth century AD by Indian scholar and The book’s most h
Dear Love, philosopher Vatsyayana. There is limited his- about section is the sec
FOS,

Your letter neglects any mention of having worn a condom, Di torical data on Vatsyayana, but it was surmised by al Union”, and its 10th
which is an important primary precaution for any anal sex. (10/05/06) writer and psychoanalyst Sudhir Karkar in his and depicts how to par
Without the condom, you can contract some nasty bacteria Dear Di, book, The Ascetic of Desire, that Vatsyayana sex and foreplay, sugg

on your tool. For your girlfriend’s sake, use plenty of lube to My boyfriend keeps suggesting we try wheelbarrow style. spent the majority of his childhood in a brothel tions—all 64 of them
soften up the entry and withdrawal process, because without it, I’m too embarrassed to admit that I don’t know what it is, where he lived with his aunt. Seeing as how the best sexual experience
it’s much too painful. Her sphincter is like a bouncer who so I keep avoiding his requests. How do I do it like a entire manuscript displays an encyclopaedic partners.
doesn’t let anyone come in through the back of the club un- wheelbar- row? Fill me in, Di! knowledge of all things sex-related, this makes The Kama Sutra is v
less you dress nicely and tip him a little. The use of a condom —Wide Load sense. explicit pictures provid
and lubrication with, of course, sensibility, will considerably One of the four main goals of life in Indian tion give Hustler and

facilitate the sex. Unfortunately, with ass comes feces, and Dear philosophy is Kama, the esthetic and erotic money. But, it’s actual
WL,

if she’s willing to let you go that way, reciprocate the open- Filling you in is your boyfriend’s job, but I can still give you pleasure of life. Its complete and total prac- alongside the pictures t
mindedness. some helpful advice. Remember when you were a kid in sum- tice is required in order to reach the highest of heavy. With chapter he
Love, mer camp and you had wheelbarrow races? Your partner would hold the four goals, Moksha—the end of the In- dian the way of Love to be
Di your legs while you supported yourself on your hands, face down. death and rebirth cycle, more commonly known to women of different
(03/10/05) It’s exactly like that, except you are naked, you aren’t run- ning, as reincarnation. The Kama Sutra offers the sexual various ways of strikin
and it’s your boyfriend’s dick instead of your camp coun- sellor’s. tips needed to successfully complete Kama while propriate to them”, this o
Dear Di, It allows for easier G-spot stimulation. The downside is incorporating the strict rules of In- heart or the prudish.
Recently I’ve encountered a problem that I’ve never had be-

fore. I’m almost positive the guy I’m into is asexual. It’s that it’s totally uncomfortable and you can potentially break your dian philosophy. With ample detail o
not only that he’s not into me, but he’s not into face during orgasm. But hey, love knows no bounds, right? The Kama Sutra has a total of 36 chapters your woman (“When, i
anyone—man,

woman, or animal. What should I do? Is there any hope Good luck! grouped into seven sections: the introduction the half of it into his mo
of

breaking Love, (aims and purpose of the book), sexual union and sucks it, this is ca
him? —Fiending for the Forbidden Di (teaching foreplay, oral sex, sexual positions), fruit’”) and comprehen
Fruit (11/30/06) the acquisition of a wife (forms of marriage), best ass can be found (“

S4\\ Sex \\ 01.29.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca

eep, The science of smell
Pheromone research still controversial

ing look

ma Sutra
ife (specifics about the are fond of foul pleasures, and have not good
by Alana Sucee
Fulcrum Contributor
photo by Muse Mohammed

existed long before humans even evolved. Francke recognized

that chemical communication no longer plays an important

ife), the acquisition of manners”), the sexual union section is the un- role in new human interaction, but that it still affects people

acquainted with your deniable gem between the two covers. SOME MAY CRINGE at the idea that the smell of who know each other well. Furthermore, Gabriel and Rolf
(trying to find a new Notably, some of the more experimental po- some- one’s sweat could possibly be sexy. In fact, most Frobose state in their book, Love and Lust: Is it More Than
ting others (learning to sitions provide different ways for partners to si- people are opposed to natural body odours, fighting to cover Chemistry?, their belief that beneath our verbal and visual
ally). multaneously gain from the sexual experience. them up with processed scents and falsified fragrances. Aromas communication, we are also equipped to give off and receive
ighlighted and talked These are known as “The Penetrating Eye”, have become big business. One simply has to turn on the “molecular fragrance messages” that still influence our spe-
TV,

ond section, “On Sexu- “Climbing the Tree”, and “The Butterfly”. open a magazine, or walk down the cosmetics aisle of any cies today. The debate has not subsided.
While

chapter, which explains accompanied by visuals—pictures are worth store to realize how widespread and marketable smelling On the other side of the argument is Dr. Stuart Firestein, a

take in stimulating oral a thousand words—the guides themselves are good has become. There are scents to fit every mood, every biologist who studies the science of smell at Columbia Uni-

esting the sexual posi- explanatory enough. season, every occasion. But as we dose our bodies in an ar- versity. In a 2005 interview with 20/20, Firestein contended

—that will provide the For example, take “suspended ray of scents, are we really just covering up our natural ani- that pheromones might not have as much influence as some
congress”:

possible between both “When a man supports himself against a wall, mal scent, overriding nature’s primal cologne and dimin- people believe.
and the woman, sitting on his hands joined ishing our true sex appeal? The concept of sex pheromones “We use all sorts of cues. A pheromone alone is unlikely to

ery descriptive, and the together and held underneath her, throws her suggests that we are. do it. It’s part of a whole package,” he said.

ed in the original edi- arms round his neck, and putting her thighs According to Drs. Kohl and Francoeur’s book, The Scent of Charles Wysocki, a behavioural neuroscientist at Monell

Playboy a run for their alongside his waist, moves herself by her feet, Eros, “subliminal odours, known to scientists as pheromones, Chemical Senses Center in Philadelphia, agreed with Firest-
y the thorough guides which are touching the wall against which the are major influences on genes in nerve cells that secrete a ein.
hat get you all hot and man is leaning.” hormone which regulates the sexual development and the “We can demonstrate the effects of what are putatively

adings like “Biting, and As a whole, the Kama Sutra is a sexual behaviour of animals from insects to mammals, in- pheromones, but we haven’t been able to pin down the chem-
revealing

employed with regard and detailed read on the Indian belief system cluding humans.” ical identity and show this particular compound or small set

countries” and “On the of reaching erotic fulfillment, starting with Sex pheromones, specifically, are thought to be chemicals of compounds are responsible for outcome A, B and C,”
he
g and of the sounds ap- the most primal needs. And for those who are emitted by an individual through sweat that are detected by said in a January interview with Live Science.

book is not for the faint looking for a deeper level of intimacy both another person. This detection is said to help in causing a How much easier it would be if we could simply let our pri-

spiritually and physically, the Kama Sutra can certain sexual response—positive or negative—from that mal scents do the talking. We wouldn’t have to stumble over
n how to go down on help you get there. Then there are those who person. But the importance of sex pheromones themselves in our words, drink to break the ice, and suffer through awk-

n the same way, he puts are just looking for tips for a good lay, which effecting initial sexual attraction is controversial. ward silences. Instead, we would simply skip a few showers

uth, and forcibly kisses the book also provides. If you follow the steps Dr. W. Francke is a researcher and professor at the Univer- and let our sweat do the rest. Sadly, until the mystery of sex
lled ‘sucking a mango and reach your maximal erotic capabilities, sity of Hamburg. According to his research on pheromones, pheromones is more clearly defined and supported by fur-

sive guide to where the you may end up finding yourself partaking in there are chemical sensors beyond our five senses that have ther research, no such primal answer can be assured.

The women of Avantika a deeply spiritual ride.

www.thefulcrum.ca // 01.29.09 // Sex // S5

 Planning ahead before bed
A quick look at
the Pill, condoms,
and menstrual cycles
by Ania Bula
Fulcrum Contributor
SCREAMING BABIES, HERPES, and
that nas- ty butt rash—sex can have consequences
if you don’t plan ahead. Understanding how the
birth control pill works, knowing that condoms
are the best way to prevent sexually transmitted in-
fections, and being familiar with the menstrual
cycle is essential before getting down and dirty.
The birth control pill is an oral contraceptive that
contains hormones that mimic pregnancy and
suppress ovulation. It has to be taken every day
at the same time to prevent pregnancy prop- erly,
and is 99.1 per cent effective. Other similar
contraceptives include the Patch (placed on the
upper torso, abdomen, or butt), which has to be
replaced once a week, and the Shot (given by a
health care provider), which is given once every
three months. One thing to keep in mind is that,
according to a 2005 Health Canada study, all
three of these contraceptives have been linked to
an increase in osteoporosis and blood clots, and
have been known to cause liver problems.
Further, consuming medications such as antibi-
otics, and alcohol can decrease the effectiveness of
all three. While highly effective at preventing
pregnancy, none of these contraceptives protect
against STIs.
Dirty word dictionary
by Tom Cruizin’
Fulcrum Contributor
ONE NIGHT YOUR lover may sweetly
whisper one of the terms below into your ear
and you won’t have a clue what it means. To
save you from awkward silence and
embarrassment, the Fulcrum has compiled a list
of obscure, raunchy sexual terms that you should
get familiar with ASAP. Please note: The
Fulcrum does not con- done dangerous acts or
behaviour that involves forgoing consent.
“Blood hound”:
A man or woman who is a fan of sex or carpet
munching when women are menstruating. This is
also known as the “Moses”, after the Biblical
figure who parted the Red Sea.
“Danza slap”:
Before Tony Danza became famous on prime-
time in Taxi, it was rumoured that he starred in
porn and was known for slapping his co-stars in
the face with his penis. He may be a D-lister now,
but the Danza Slap isn’t.
“Dirty sanchez”:
After a satisfying romp up the ass, the man pulls
out and with his dick or his hand, wipes the
discharge on his partner’s upper lip, creating a
‘moustache.
’ and screws her partner.
The best way to avoid picking up something
nasty is to use a condom. It works as a bar-
rier contraceptive, blocking the exchange of
bodily fluids. As most condoms are made of
latex, it is important that they not be used with oil-
based lubricants such as Vaseline or baby oil
because the latex will rip easily. Instead, a
condom-safe, water-based lubricant should be
used. For those allergic to latex, polyurethane
condoms are also available. Male condoms
are more commonly used and less expensive
than their female counterparts, so they are usually
the most common condom found in students’
drawers. Remember that in addition to the
standard condom, a variety of novelty condoms
(flavoured, ribbed, and numbing, to name a few)
are also available.
Among the less commonly known contra-
ceptives is the intrauterine device, or IUD. In-
serted by a medical practitioner directly into the
uterus, it can prevent pregnancy for five to ten
years. This contraceptive, however, can make
for heavier and more painful menstruation. An-
other form of birth control is spermicide, a gel that
is inserted into the vagina before sex. Less
effective than other methods, it’s a good option to
use in conjunction with others.
Finally, sexual health experts recommend illustration by Maria Rondon
that every young woman learn about her body and
know her menstrual cycle before hopping into well as learning to detect signs of fertility such as conjunction with using condoms is the best way to
bed with a man. Using the calendar-based rhythm cervical fluid consistency. Before ovulation, the fluid
method, it’s possible to predict the ex- act time prevent against pregnancy and STIs.
becomes similar to egg white—clear and easily
at which a woman is most and least fertile (go spread between fingers. But remember: engaging For more information about contraceptives and
to epigee.org/guide/rhythm.html for a in sex when you’re not ovulating isn’t a reliable STIs visit the Health Services Resource Centre
comprehensive guide). The rhythm method method of contraception. Cycles can be in room 203 in the Unicentre. It is open Monday
involves keeping track of body temperature, as deregulated by stress, alcohol, certain medi- cations, to Friday, 8:30 a.m.–4:30 p.m. Free
and lack of sleep, so taking the Pill in condoms are available for students.
“Felching”
:
The process of licking somebody’s ass after ejac-
ulating in it.
“Lucky
Pierre”:
A man who is doing his partner up the ass while
he, himself, is getting it up the ass.
“Punching possums”:
A woman or man who has a series of one-night
stands and gets the reputation of being a dead
weight in bed.
“Puerto Rican fog bank”:
While performing 69, one of the duo lets one
rip straight into the mouth and nose of their
partner.
“Ram
”:
While doing his woman doggy style, the man
proceeds to ram her head into the wall to allow for
deeper penetration. Caution: can cause in- jury.
“Screwnicorn”:
A lesbian who puts her strap-on on her forehead
photo by Martha Pearce
Down to the basement, lock the cellar door, and baby, talk dirty to me.
“Woody Woodpecker”:
While getting his balls sucked, the man taps his
cock on his partner’s head.
S6\\ Sex \\ 01.22.09 \\ www.thefulcrum.ca
 State-of-the-art sex toys
by Sarah Leavitt
Fulcrum Staff
SEX TOYS WERE all the rage at the
2009
Sexapalooza in Ottawa with sex stores from across
Canada displaying the best of the best in sex.
The following sex toys were some of the fastest-
selling gadgets at the trade show.
Jolly Jack
Butt plug, $30
Butt plugs are great sex toys for both men and
women interested in anal play. Made of hypoal-
lergenic, latex-free silicone, the Jolly Jack is a
ribbed butt plug which has the added feature of
combining an anal plug with anal beads. Its long
shaft with three balls on top of each other makes for
a smooth but exciting entry, and its flared base
allows for easy control and mobility. Ideal for butt
plug virgins.
Roper
Cock ring, $9.95
This cock ring sits at the base of the penis around the
scrotum and temporarily restricts the blood flow out
of the penis. This keeps things flying at full mast
and maximizes sensation. The great thing about
this ring is that it works like a lasso, adjusting to
different sizes. No more embarrass- ing
measurements in the store. So next time you want
to be the cowboy, use the Roper. Just re-
member not to use it too long; you don’t want
something to fall off.
Get Into Bondage
BDSM starter kit, $69.95
This sex-toy starter kit includes everything you
need to begin exploring the exciting world of
BDSM (bondage, discipline, sadism, and mas-
ochism). For a relatively low price, the kit con-
tains a blindfold, a leather paddle, a set of wrist
restraints, as well as eight feet of nylon rope. A
booklet instructs you on all the safety tips that are
necessary in BDSM, as well as how to use each
object in the kit.
Smart Balls
Vaginal balls, $29.95
Smart Balls are marble-sized hollow balls with
weights inside that are put in the vagina for
stimulation. The balls have two great functions: when
sat on, their contours and the movement of the
weights inside the balls provide a sensa- tional
vibration for women, and because the pelvic
muscles are needed to keep them in place, it
provides a great workout. Smart Balls come with
two balls and a string to retrieve them in case they
go in too deep. These balls are great for solo
masturbation or oral sex because they won’t get in
the way of the clitoris.
We-
Vibe
Vibrator, $129
While on the expensive side for a vibrator, the
We-Vibe is all the rage in sex-toy land. Sex stores
all across Canada were unanimous in voting this toy
photo by Martha Pearce
as their top pick and it won “Most Innova- tive
Product of the Year” at the 2008 Interna- tional A veritable smorgasbord of apparati to augment your orgasms.
Venus Awards. This U-shaped silicone
toy belongs in its own category of sex toys as it is the vagina, while providing that tight squeeze All these toys and more are available at various
neither a dildo nor a vibrator. Worn by the that everybody loves. Because of its shape, the sex stores around Ottawa. They include: Venus
woman during sex, this toy fits nicely into the We-Vibe requires no hands and its sleek look Envy (320 Lisgar St.), Classixxx Adult
vagina while its two prongs vibrate to stimulate the won’t upset your grandma when she finds it in Store (1724 Bank St.), and The Adult Fun
clitoris and the G-spot simultaneously. It is small your room. Fun fact: the We-Vibe was created Superstore (1565 St. Laurent Blvd.).
enough that a penis can still fit nicely into by an engineer from Ottawa!

Whore-o-scopes told you was ‘sex’ was actually chronic masturbation. It

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. Gemini (May 21–June
doesn’t get as many hits as you thought it would.
18) 20)
You might utter the words, “You’ve been a bad bus driver” You start a competitive sex league. As league commission- er
over the course of the next week. Oh, the strike will still be and team captain, tryout weekend is fuckin’ fantastic. You
on, but you might as well get dressed up and let some of that die a happy man or woman at the end of the season, when
frustration out on your significant other. Bring bus tickets, if you are assassinated by the NFL for blatant and hi- larious
you know what I mean. copyright infringement.

Pisces (Feb. 19–March Cancer (June 21–July 22)

20)
Did you know that despite its name, the Corsican Hare is not
There are three components to a happy relationship: trust, native to Corsica and is rarely found on this Mediter- ranean
communication, and my wonderful invention, the island today? One day, this fact will get you laid.
UpUrBum. It does exactly what you think, no matter what
you’re thinking. Pick one up at the Fulcrum office for Leo (July 23–Aug.
$39.95 22)
.
You spend the whole day searching for Trudeau’s gold,
Aries (March 21–April hidden under the centre block of Parliament. Little did you
19) know this ‘gold’ was the location of Ottawa’s best strip
club, in the bowels of the Peace Tower, operating ev- ery
No one ever told you the difference between the white Wednesday night from 10–11 p.m.
pages and the yellow pages. Luckily, Gary T. Sexstore
knows exactly what you like. Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
Taurus (April 20–May 20) Your friends told you not to eat anything out of your girl- friend’s
ass. Now you’ve got superpowers. Way to go, jerk.
You start a blog chronicling your sex life. It’s like Sex and
the City, except the ‘city’ is Ottawa. And what people
Libra (Sept. 23–Oct.
22)
Ninety per cent of the postings for sex on craigslist are
fake. Five per cent are just gross. Three per cent are too
far away, and 1.5 per cent involve robots. But that magi-
cal 0.5 per cent left over comes from some of the most
incredible shuffle boarders you’ve ever seen. Fuck them.

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov.

21)
Monkey knife fights are not an appropriate way to decide who
has to be the wingman at the bar later in the evening. Those
monkeys have feelings, just like you. You won’t like it when
they make you fight.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)

In anticipation of a hot date later in the week, you shave
your whole body. You never realized the world was so
itchy and judgmental. But luckily, your date did the same
thing. Find some oil and have a slippery blast.

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan.

19)
You invented a new sexual position: the pencil sharpener. I’ll
let you visualize that for a moment. Yup, it’s just fuckin’. You
put your book on hold.

illustrations by Samnang Touch

www.thefulcrum.ca // 01.29.09 // Sex// S7

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