Sunday, February 10, 2019 ● The Gazette 1B

SPORTS
IOWA WRESTLING

Living for the moment

Jim Slosiarek photos/The Gazette

Iowa wrestler Alex Marinelli and his fiancee Moriah Stickley in the Dan Gable Wrestling Room at Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City on Feb. 5.

Tragic loss off the mat changed perspective for Iowa’s Marinelli
By K.J. Pilcher, The Gazette ing out the good in everything.”

I
OWA CITY — Scrawled across
Alex Marinelli’s water bottle is a
simple message.
“Believe.”
It is much more meaningful to
him than any run of the mill adage or
motivational tool.
The word is a reminder of his faith, how he
lives life, his approach to wrestling and the loss
of the person who served as a constant reminder
of what he strives to be.
After all, right in the heart of the script is
“Eli,” representing his late friend, Eli Stickley,
and twin brother to his fiancee and Iowa wres-
tling manager Moriah Stickley.
“He did everything passionately,” said Mari-
nelli, wearing a baseball hat that donned Eli’s
name and the “Live Passionately” phrase. “He
Moriah Stickley has “Love, Elijah,” written in her late brother’s
handwriting, tattooed near her wrist. The writing came from
a note Eli Stickley wrote Moriah, his twin sister, on her 21st
birthday. A tattoo artist scanned the note and transferred it to
her arm.
put his whole heart in everything. He was never
lukewarm. He was full-go on everything.
“He was full of life and energy. He was bring-
There are wristbands, shirts and images
that provide regular reminders of Eli, who died
in a July car accident traveling to celebrate
Marinelli’s surprise wedding proposal to his
sister. Marinelli and Moriah have demonstrated
strength and faith, dealing with tragedy and
adversity that is a tribute to his memory.
“I’m wrestling for the now and I’m living life
in the moment,” Iowa’s second-ranked and un-
beaten 165-pounder said. “I’m making the most
out of it.”
CELEBRATION BECOMES DEVASTATION
The day of July 5, 2018, was expected to be a
celebration. Marinelli had secretly planned the
proposal, arranging for Moriah’s family to drive
in from Ohio and arrive a half-hour after he
asked for her hand.
Marinelli convinced Moriah it was a simple
date night, getting dressed up so they could take
respectable photos to document the occasion. The
evening started with friends, hanging out and
;; MARINELLI, PAGE 6B

IOWA STATE MEN’S BASKETBALL IOWA MEN’S BASKETBALL

Cyclones ‘humbled’ against TCU Hawks can’t afford

Poor shooting largely to blame to let guard down
for costly loss at Hilton Loss to Northwestern
By Ben Visser, correspondent would undo recent work TODAY’S GAME
l Teams: Northwestern
AMES — Very few things By Mike Hlas, The Gazette (12-10, 3-8) at Iowa (18-5,
worked for No. 16 Iowa State on 7-5)
l Where: Carver-Hawkeye
Saturday afternoon in Hilton The Iowa men’s
Coliseum. basketball team just Arena, Iowa City
l Tipoff: 5:30 p.m.
The Cyclones shot just 29 per- completed a four-game l TV: BTN
cent from 3-point range while gauntlet. l Radio: WMT-AM (600),
allowing TCU to shoot 53 percent In that 15-
from the field and 44 percent day stretch, KXIC-AM (800)
from beyond the arc. the Hawk-
TCU handled Iowa State, 92-83, eyes met Big off is a good way to go
in a game that wasn’t as close as Ten powers from bracketologies to
the score might indicate. Michigan apologies.
“After the first five minutes, State and “Any win in this
they dominated the game,” Iowa Michigan at league this year is huge,”
State Coach Steve Prohm said. home and Fran Iowa Coach Fran McCaf-
“This league will humble you USA Today Sports
traveled to McCaffery fery said after his team’s
quick and we got humbled today.” Iowa State guard Tyrese Haliburton (22) reacts in disgust during the second half Minnesota Iowa coach 77-72 victory at Indiana
Iowa State made just one against the TCU Horned Frogs on Saturday at Hilton Coliseum in Ames. and Indiana. They went Thursday night.
3-pointer in the first half, shoot- 2-2, keeping themselves Many might suggest
ing 1 of 11. Most of the looks were they’ll fall.” Tucker and Tyrese Haliburton nationally ranked and in a win at Assembly Hall
would dwarf a home win
© 2019 The Gazette

open looks, they just weren’t
falling.
“I thought we had some really
good looks, especially myself,”
Marial Shayok said. “I had some
really good looks I know I should
make and hopefully next time
Shayok finished with 24 points
on 7-of-17 shooting from the field
and 1-of-7 shooting from beyond
the arc.
Iowa State’s five main guards
— Shayok, Nick Weiler-Babb,
Lindell Wigginton, Talen Horton-
— combined to shoot 33 percent the first division of the
from the field. conference standings, po-
“You have to make shots sitioned for a run at the
at some point and we didn’t,” NCAA tournament.
Prohm said. But it’s really a 20-
game gauntlet in the Big
;; ISU, PAGE 2B Ten, and taking games
over Northwestern, 3-8
in the Big Ten. That may
be true when it comes to
the NCAA tournament
;; IOWA, PAGE 2B
6B The Gazette ● Sunday, February 10, 2019
Marinelli/Inspired by friend’s life
;; FROM PAGE 1B
dancing in the living room.
Moriah didn’t have her
phone available to answer
multiple calls from her moth-
er, Hope. Marinelli sensed
something was wrong imme-
diately when he noticed two
missed calls from Hope.
“I called her back and she
was yelling,” Marinelli said.
“There were sirens in the
background. It was vivid.
What she was telling me I
could just picture it all.”
Eli, a 21-year-old at the Uni-
versity of Wisconsin where
he was an NCAA qualifier for
former Badgers head coach
Barry Davis, had been driving
separately from his parents
and was accompanied by his
girlfriend. Hope and Todd
Stickley were leading the way
when they realized their son’s
car was no longer visible in
the rear view mirror.
They turned around and
came upon the accident. Eli’s
car veered off the road and
rolled multiple times as he
tried to re-enter the driving
lane.
Moriah said the phone call
with the fateful news resem-
bled something from a movie
that you think will never hap-
pen. It happened and she knew
it was severe.
Marinelli and Stickley head-
ed toward the crash site in Illi-
nois, just 10 minutes from the
Iowa border. They didn’t make
it far before Iowa Coach Tom
Brands called and instructed
them to wait until he and his
wife, Jenny, could pick them
up and drive the rest of the
way.
“It was tough to tell her,”
Marinelli said. “It was a weird
situation I’ve never been in.
“I told her and then I tried
to drive to the hospital. I was
shaking and stuff. It was bad
traffic, I remember.”
The first reaction was to
accept blame for the incident.
Moriah briefly had that cross
her mind since the family was
traveling to see them.
“I remember that was one
of the first things I said to my
dad when we got to the hospi-
tal and he was like, ‘Moriah,
you can’t go there,’ ” she said.
“For him to say that was a
huge thing. It would be so easy
for him to go there, too, but he
was strong.”
The entire day remains a
blur to Moriah, who was less
than two weeks shy of her
22nd birthday. She spent the
next 24 hours, talking to medi-
cal personnel, the coroner, law
enforcement and individuals
reaching out about organ do-
nation. She still had to deliver
the news to Eli’s friends. The
pair also spent a sleepless
night with Eli’s girlfriend, who
survived and was alone as her
family was driving from Min-
nesota.
She went into survival
mode, relying on her “fixer”
mentality to handle things
she never imagined she would
have to.
“Moriah was stronger than
a lot of people in her family,”
Marinelli said. “She was like
the rock.”
SPECIAL RELATIONSHIPS
Moriah and Eli Stickley
were born July 18, 1996. Ac-
cording to Moriah, Eli was one
minute older. The pair was
extremely close, spending the
majority of their first 18 years
together with Hope home-
schooling both.
“We pretty much did ev-
erything together,” Moriah
said. “We grew up. We did life
together.”
Moriah recalled Eli’s pas-
sion and compassion. He was
energetic and fun with an ad-
venturous spirit. Moriah said
Eli’s ability to unconditionally
love other people helped make
him special.
Wrestling was a family af-
fair for the Stickleys. Eli’s
cousins wrestled, including
Justin, who is a sophomore for
the Hawkeyes. Eli had a solid
high school career as a four-
time Ohio state medalist with
a state title in 2014.
Wrestling also was cata-
lyst to bring Marinelli and
the Stickleys together. Mari-
nelli remembered the moment
when a young girl in the Gra-
ham section at a junior high
tournament caught his eye. He
SPORTS SUNDAY
Iowa’s Alex Marinelli (right) waves to the crowd after pinning Maryland’s Philip Spadafora during the 165-pound bout of a Big Ten Conference dual Friday at
Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City. Marinelli, ranked second at 165, improved to 17-0 this season with the win.
“If you don’t have that sense of hope, it’s
going to be very hard to make sense of a
lot of things that happen in life.”
Alex Marinelli, Iowa wrestler
was familiar with the Stickley
name and knew of Eli, finding
out it was his twin sister.
Marinelli reached out on
Facebook and the teenagers
exchanged numbers and be-
gan to talk. Of course, their
first face-to-face meetings
were centered in wrestling.
The families went out to eat
after weigh-ins and the conclu-
sion of Ohio’s junior high state
meet.
“There was something
automatically comfortable,”
Moriah said.
The tournament was the
moment Marinelli started to
get to know Eli as well.
“Eli was always excited and
that’s how I always remember
him,” Marinelli said. “Eli was
always welcoming and bring-
ing people in, loving them and
always bringing out the best of
them.”
Eli still served as an older
sibling.
“He was a huge supporter,
but he was a brother,” Moriah
said. “He was protective and
made sure he was in line, but
at the end of the day he had
nothing but love and support
for us.”
As much as Marinelli and
Moriah hit it off, so did Eli and
Marinelli. Marinelli said he
always wanted to be outside
playing sports or roughhous-
ing, but many of his previous
friends tried to avoid it. Eli
shared that love of being ac-
tive.
“I was just with Eli all the
time,” Marinelli said. “Eli
never wanted to sit. He was al-
ways up, walking around.”
The dynamic changed
slightly when the twins left
for different colleges, while
Marinelli still was at St. Paris
Graham. After 18 years, it was
time for the twins to experi-
ence life separately. Interest-
ingly, Moriah said they actu-
ally grew closer after being
apart. Marinelli said Eli was
always still there for him, too.
“I always knew he was look-
ing out for me,” Marinelli said.
The greatest example came
at the Big Ten Championships
last season. Marinelli suf-
fered his first loss, falling in
overtime to Michigan’s Logan
Massa, who postured at center
mat for about a minute after
the upset. The crowd was in
a frenzy and cheered against
Marinelli and the Hawkeyes.
As he stepped off the mat
on his way to the tunnel, there
was Eli. He was there with
encouragement, telling “The
Bull” he would bounce back
and be OK. Marinelli will nev-
er forget that moment.
“Eli was like an angel,”
Marinelli said. “It’s not a co-
incidence. Eli was there for a
reason. You can’t make that
stuff up.”
FAITH FORMATION
Marinelli is anchored in his
faith, participating in Athletes
In Action at Iowa. His faith
has been a key in processing
the tragedy.
He battled the thoughts of
why it happened to Eli, who
lived a strong spiritual life.
It seemed unfair that it hap-
pened to a good person and not
someone more nefarious.
“If you don’t have that
sense of hope, it’s going to be
very hard to make sense of a
lot of things that happen in
life,” Marinelli said. “So, that
gave me an outlook on this
whole thing. Eli died and was
ready. I know where his faith
lied and it made it easier for
me.”
Shortly after the accident,
Iowa associate head coach
Terry Brands called to offer
support. He told Marinelli in
moments of loss, those left
behind suffer the most hurt.
The message provided some
clarity.
“Obviously, humans are go-
ing to be sad and experience
pain,” Marinelli said. “That’s
because we’re human and it
is human nature to be selfish.
We want him here, but he’s
back home where he’s actually
supposed to be.”
AFTERMATH
After the accident, Tom
Brands and the Iowa staff
helped Moriah and Marinelli
return to Ohio for the services. liked to listen to regularly or
The Stickleys’ extended fam-
ily had gathered for a wed-
ding the previous week and
remained together.
Moriah’s return to Iowa
City gave her a chance to
mourn.
“It’s unbelievable,” Moriah too,” Marinelli said. “I remem- hardest worker, but he never
said. “It just let me be able to
let loose and sit in it for a little practice and he put on Katy
bit. It let me do it organically
and nothing forced, but it just saying we need a feel-good
really helped grow and get
though it in a really healthy
way.”
Both received a lot of sup-
port from the Hawkeye wres-
tling family. A number of
wrestlers and Tom Brands at- as an organ donor. Some of
tended the services in Ohio.
Stephen Mally/The Gazette
Jim Slosiarek/The Gazette
Iowa’s Alex Marinelli celebrates his pin of Princeton’s Dale Tiongson on Nov. 16
at Carver-Hawkeye Arena in Iowa City.
“It’s just been continued his spine were donated. Co-
support from everyone here,” incidentally, he was studying
Moriah said. “Just down to to help people by becoming a
every single person. It’s just
chiropractor.
crazy. “Later on, we kind of looked
“It’s just been a huge bless-
at what he did donate and we
ing.” were like that’s insane,” Mo-
Being able to cling to Mari-
riah said. “He wanted to work
nelli and lean on him was im-on people’s spines.”
portant. Sharing their story has
“He was more of a quiet been therapeutic for the cou-
rock,” Moriah said. ple. They hope Eli’s zest for
life and loving attitude serves
REMEMBERING ELI an example for others to fol-
Eli left an indelible im- low.
pression on many, especially For Marinelli, he remains
Moriah and Marinelli. Their inspired to live like his friend,
memories of him are easily who worked hard to accom-
triggered, whether it’s from plish his goals but wasn’t de-
country or Gospel songs he fined by results.
“As I grew up, I thought
the songs from “The Greatest wrestling (and my sports) de-
Showman” that seemed to stir fined me,” Marinelli said. “I
his emotions. was living through my sports
“Every time you hear those and what people thought
songs, you want to cry because of me. But, then I met Eli.
that’s like who he was and He didn’t have the most ac-
then he liked happy songs, colades. He was always the
ber driving home one day after won state until his junior year.
That to me was like, ‘he’s not
Perry or something like that, as good as me, but not how Eli
was.’
song and all this seriousness “He was like, ‘I’m going to
needs to go away for a second. work hard and if I accomplish
© 2019 The Gazette
That’s how Eli was.” my goals that’s awesome, but I
Eli’s death didn’t stop him don’t it won’t define me.’ That
from making a difference for impacted me and it still is im-
others. In a way, he lives on pacting me today.”
l Comments: (319) 368-8679;
Eli’s body tissue and part of kj.pilcher@thegazette.com