Table of Contents

Title Page 2
Dedications 3
Contents 4
List of Figures and Tables 6
Introduction 10
1 The Microskills Approach 18
A Counseling Story 18
What Counseling Is Not 21
The Counselor’s Role 22
The Counselee’s Role 24
The Concept of Microskills 25
The Skill of Learning New Skills 26
Rationale for Our Method of Learning Skills 28
How We Plan To Teach The Microskills 29
The Professional and Spiritual Discipline of Forming Habits 32
The Counseling Process 33
The Phases of the Counseling Process: What Is Targeted When 34
Phases of Growth and Change In Biblical and Spiritual Development 35
The Hourglass Metaphor 37
Conclusion 42
Reflection Questions 43
2 The Person of the Counselor 44
Self-as-Instrument: Embracing the Art 45
One Profession, Many Parts 46
How Well Do You Know Yourself? 49
Self-care: Tending to the Instrument 56
Relationship Application 61
Multicultural Application 61
Conclusion 62
Reflection Questions (Adapted from Corey & Corey, 2011) 62
Recommended Readings on Spiritual Self-care 63
Target 1: Establishing Relationship and Exploring 65
Nonverbal Skills 66
Reflecting Skills 66
The Use of Target 1 Skills Throughout the Counseling Process 67
3 What Do You Notice? 71
Avoiding Inaccurate Perceptions 72
Elements of Nonverbal Communication 75
Request Types 79
Perception, Intuition and the Self-as-Instrument 81
Multicultural Application 85
Conclusion 86
Reflection Questions 86
4 Your Presence in the Room 87
The External Aspect of Attending: What You Show 88
S.O.L.E.R. 96
When Words Are Not Really Words 98
The Internal Aspects of Attending: What You Bring 99
Multicultural Application 104
Conclusion 105
Reflection Questions 105
5 Identifying the Pieces of the Story 106
What Is Content, And How Is It Reflected? 107
The Purpose of Reflecting Content 110
What Reflecting Content Is Not 111
Concluding The Conversation With A Reflection Of Content 113
Multicultural Application 115
Relationship Application 115
Ministry Application 115
Conclusion 116
Reflection Questions 116
6 Validating Emotion 117
What Are Feelings, and How Are They Reflected? 118
The Purpose of Reflecting Feeling 123
What Reflecting Feeling Is Not 124
Rating Reflections of Feeling 125
Multicultural Application 126
Ministry Application 128
Conclusion 128
Reflection Questions 128
7 Connecting Empathically 132
What Is Empathy? 133
Christian Foundations of Empathy 135
Cognitive and Affective Empathy 137
 Learning The Skill of Empathic Reflection 139
Empathy Is Still Empathy, Even Out of Formula 144
What Empathy Is Not 148
Relationship Application 148
Multicultural Application 149
Ministry Application 150
Cautions in the Use of Empathy 151
Conclusion 156
Reflection Questions 156
Targets 2 and 3: Deepening and Growing 157
Target 2: Deepening 158
Target 3: Growing 160
Hitting the Wall: The Impasse 161
8 Zeroing In 162
What Is Clarifying? 163
What Clarifying Is Not 171
Relationship Application 174
Multicultural Application 174
Ministry Application 175
Conclusion 179
Reflection Questions 179
9 Connecting Deeply 180
What Is Intuitive Empathy? 182
What Intuitive Empathy Is Not 190
Relationship Application 191
Multicultural Application 192
Ministry Application 192
Conclusion 193
Reflection Questions 193
10 Expanding Therapeutic Options 194
What Is Metaphor? 196
Functions of Metaphor 198
Guidelines for Using Metaphor 203
Counseling Approaches and Techniques Can Also Be Metaphors 206
Relationship Application 208
Multicultural Application 208
A Few Additional Words About Proverbs 209
Ministry Application 209
Conclusion 211
 Reflection Questions 211
Excursus: A Deeper Look at the Biblical Foundation for the Use of
212
Imagination in Counseling
11 Reflecting Apparent Discrepancies 215
What Is Confrontation? 217
Christian Foundation for Confrontation 227
When to Use Care-Frontation 229
Cautions When Using Care-Frontation 232
Relationship Application 233
Multicultural Application 234
Ministry Application 235
Conclusion 237
Reflection Questions 237
12 Using the Here and Now 238
What Is Authenticity? 239
Christian Foundations Of Authenticity 240
Learning the Skill of Authenticity 241
Self-disclosure 247
Immediacy 250
Relationship Application 253
Multicultural Application 254
Ministry Application 254
Conclusion 255
Reflection Questions 255
13 Strategies for Growth 256
What Implementing Change Is All About 257
Examples Of Change Strategies 257
Prochaska’s Stages Of Change 258
The Abcs of Moving Forward: Domains of Growth 259
The Process 264
What Implementing Change Is Not 268
Relationship Application 273
Multicultural Application 274
Ministry Application 275
Conclusion 276
Reflection Questions 276
14 Expanding the Counseling System 279
What Is A System? 279
What Is A Relational System? 281
 A Family Systems Approach to the Smythe Family 283
The “Within” And “Between” Dynamic Of Change In Counseling 285
The Building Blocks of Systems: Triangles 290
Advocacy: An Essential Role for All Counselors 293
Leveraging External Systems for Change 295
Ministry Application 297
Multicultural Application 299
Conclusion 300
Reflection Questions 300
15 Appreciating the Sacred 302
The “Christian” Part of Christian Counseling 303
Our Orientation to Spirituality in Counseling 305
Our Theological Foundation 306
What Is Sacred About Counseling? 306
Identifying the Sacred 307
“Generic” Spiritual Interventions 308
Explicitly Christian Spiritual Interventions 310
The Holy Spirit and Counseling 316
Improving Religious and Spiritual Competencies in Counseling 319
Multicultural Application 320
Ministry Application 321
Conclusion 322
Reflection Questions 322
Religious/Spiritual Interventions: A Sampling And Reflection 323
Target 4: Consolidating and Ending 328
16 Endings and New Beginnings 330
Consolidating 331
Endings and New Beginnings 332
The Termination Process 337
When Termination Does Not Go According to Plan 342
Supervision 346
Relationship Application 348
Multicultural Application 348
Ministry Application 349
Conclusion 349
Reflection Questions 350
Attachment References 350
Postscript 352
Appendix A: Answers to Chapter Exercises 355
Chapter 3 355
Chapter 5 355
Chapter 6 358
Chapter 7 360
Chapter 8 365
Chapter 9 365
Chapter 10 368
Chapter 11 369
Chapter 12 371
Chapter 13 372
Appendix B: Additional Learning Activities 376
Chapter 2 376
Chapter 3 376
Chapter 4 377
Chapter 5 380
Chapter 6 381
Chapter 7 382
Chapter 8 382
Chapter 9 383
Chapter 10 384
Chapter 11 385
Chapter 12 385
Chapter 13 386
Chapter 14 386
Chapter 15 387
Appendix C: Small Group Role-Play Exercises and Transcript
391
Analysis Assignment
Chapter 4: Attending Behavior 391
Chapter 5: Reflecting Content 393
Chapter 6: Reflecting Content and Feeling 395
Chapter 7: Basic Level Empathy (Level Three), Reflecting Content With
397
Feeling
Chapter 8: Reflections, Basic Empathy and Clarifying 399
Chapter 9: Reflection, Basic Empathy, Clarifying and Intuitive Empathy 401
Chapter 10: Reflection, Basic Empathy, Clarifying, Intuitive Empathy and
404
Use of Metaphor
Chapter 11: Confrontation (Care-Frontation) 406
Chapter 12: Developing An Individual Style 409
 Final Transcript Analysis 412
Appendix D: The Relationship Between Psychology and
422
Religion
Psychology’s Interaction with Religious and Spiritual Experience 422
Christianity’s Relationship with the Science of Psychology 423
An Approach to Understanding the Integration Literature 424
The Relationship of Faith-based Counseling to Secular Approaches 425
References 433
Author and Subject Index 445
Scripture Index 481
Praise for Skills for Effective Counseling 487
About the Authors 489
CAPS International 492
More Titles from InterVarsity Press 494
Copyright 499