1.

Take me to Heaven it's like you're almost

Michelle/Tina
D-e-l-o-r-i-s!
DELORIS:
[Let's light it up, coppers!]
I've been thinkin' aboutcha
since receivin' your call.
Can't see livin' withoutcha,
you've got me mind, soul, body and all.
DELORIS/M/T
Pray and I pray
ev'ry night and each day,...
DELORIS:
...hopin' that you'll drop a line.
DELORIS/M/T
Pray and I pray
'til you sweep me away
straight to cloud number nine.
You are simply too divine!
Take me to heaven
Take me to ecstasy (ecstasy!)
I'll give you all I've got,
'cause nothin's as hot
as when you groove with me.
M/T:
No, no, no, no!
DELORIS:
And when you strut your stuff ahh
and do your thing,
I just can't help surrendering.
You're so strong, you're so sweet,...
DELORIS/M/T:
... you're what makes me complete.
DELORIS:
I just worship at your feet. ahh
DELORIS/ M/T:
Take me to heaven!
Take me to kingdom come!
I'll take any vow...
DELORIS
... just take me now! oohh
DELORIS/ M/T:
Take me, take me higher!
Take me, take me higher, higher!
Ow!
DELORIS:
[Guess what, y'all - it's my birthday!]
M/T:
[Happy birthday, Deloris!]
DELORIS/ M/T:
Don't know how you
do what you do, (unh-uh!)
too good to be true (uh-huh!).
You're my hope (hope!),
you're my dream (dream!),
you rock my world,
you reign supreme.
DELORIS:
[My man's so nice to me]
DELORIS/ M/T:
He's got the boogie - uhh!
that moves my soul!
He's got the boogie - uhh!
make me loose control!
M/T:
Beep-beep!
Hoo-hoo-hoo!
DELORIS:
[Now, don'tcha know!]
DELORIS/ M/T:
My booty's headin' for a special place,
where people shake it, baby,
wrapped in love's embrace!
DELORIS:
[Listen, we're gonna take a quick five, y'all.
DELORIS/ M/T:
Take me to heaven!
Take me to paradise!
I'll get on my knees,
just take me please!
Take me there!
2. Fabulous, Baby!
DELORIS:
Look at my style, could it be more glam?
Lood at my look, can you say, hot damn?
Look, an' at once, you know what I am:
Me, I'm fabulous baby!
M: [There she goes, fantamasizin' again.]
T: [Baby, whatever you sniffin', I want me some.]
DELORIS:
Look at my moves, don't they blow your mind?
Drama, and talent, and sex - combined!
Hell, you could tell even if you're blind!
See? I'm fabulous, baby!
I'm meant to be where the spotlight shines!
Born to be on display!
Built to be dressed to the ninety-nines,
and ready to stand and say - hey.
Look at me! Can'tcha see,
I'm fabulous, baby!
Look right here, ain't it clear, Look at me,
where I'm heading to? can'tcha see!
And look at the time - M/T:She's fabulous, baby!
honey, I can't stay! DELORIS:
Look while you can, Yeah, I'm fabulous, baby!
'cause I'm on my way! Feast your eyes,
Me, I'm fabulous baby. can't disguise
I got fabulous things to do! my star quality!
M: [Where you goin'?] So laugh all you want,
DELORIS: [Wherever it's happenin'! I won't be denied.
New York, Vegas... Wembley!] What I have got is too hot to hide!
T: [Oh now we're talking' big-time.] I am fabulous, baby!
M: [Hello, Wembley, I'm Deloris Van Cartier!] So damn fabulous, baby!
Look at my shoes,... I'll do fabulous, guarantee!
T: ... at my clothes,... I'll be fabulous, baby,
M: ... my hair! fresh, free, fabulous, baby!
T: Look what's up here... Fine and fabulous,
M: ... and then look back there. wait and see!
M/T: Look all you want,
I got lots to spare!
3. Here Within these Walls:
DELORIS
Just stand back and clear the track! MOTHER SUPERIOR:
'Cause look at me! Outside, life's a mess.
oohh
Can'tcha see No one's pure of spirit any longer.
KT/LAROSA: There's no wrong or right,
I'm fabulous, baby! just wrong and wronger.
(So fabulous, baby!) People have amused themselves to death.
DELORIS: Outside, life is grim.
Check me out! oohh Filled with smut and scandal to the brim.
Ain't no doubt, I suppose there may be room for Him -
where this girl is bound! Frankly, I don't plan to hold my breath.
So joke all ya want,
go ahead and laugh. But here within these walls,
One day you'll beg for my autograph! days are filled with grace.
Oh, I'm fabulous, baby! God is in his place,
M/T: So damn fabulous, baby! his wisdom still respected.
DELORIS/ M/T: Here within these walls,
Can'tcha see me lit up on a stage life has a different pace
as the cameras adore me! (Ah!) from life beyond our doors.
Can'tcha see me out walkin' red carpets - or doin' And for what it's worth,
TV? (Ooo!) this life's now yours!
Can'tcha see all my millions of fans
screamin' desp'rately for me? Outside all is vice.
(D-e-l-o-r-i-s!) People now are absolutely shameless.
I'm a diva, a goddess, Most, including those who shall be nameless.
a star on the brink! ahh Hardly seem to know or even care.
A house-rocking vision Outside, all is sin.
in hot shocking pink! And I won't have the outside coming in.
ahh
A party! A riot! Trust me, it's a battle you won't win -
The whole kitchen sink! Frankly, dear, you haven't got a prayer.
It's time for the world to find out,
don'tcha think? Wo-ho-ho Here within these walls,
life is sweet and good. MP: Your Name
Faith is understood, ML: Your Gender
and selfishness rejected. MP: Consuming holy wafers by the tonne. Yum!
Here within these walls, Its Bracing
Work, prayer, and sisterhood ML: It’s a tonic
are what life's built upon. MP: It’s a moral high colonic
That's how it will stay, MP/ML: Praise the lord its good to be a nun!
or else you're gone! Mary Martin-of-tours/Nun 9: Its grim and
unrelenting, but for those who love repenting
So put aside your gluttony! Deloris: Praise the Lord
Put aside your pride! MP/ML/MMT/9: It’s good to be a nun!
As for carnal lust, 8: No no no you forgot the best part
you need a break, I trust. ML: Oh yeah?
Put it all aside! 8: Yeah! There’s nothing like the rush of doing
Put aside interperance! chores for Christ our lord
Profanity as well! 7: renouncing all possessions is of course its own
Put aside each remnant reward
of your former worldly shell. 6:and how about confessing for an hour?
8: two!
MOTHER SUPERIOR/NUNS: 7:no three!
Here within these walls, (Ave) 10: or teaching little children how to keep their
all is stripped away. palms hair-free
Surrender and obey, (Maria) 2: I love the sweet sensation of extreme self
that's all that is expected. (gratia) flagellation
Here within these walls, 3:and genuflecting’s always pretty fun
all else is kept at bay. 2/6/7/8/10: and we didn’t even mention all the
Through the world may go astray, (plena) sexual abstention!
here eternal truths hold sway. Deloris: praise the… WHAT!
Here within these walls, (Salve Regina) 2/6/7/8/10: it’s good to be a nun!
Life is truly blessed! (Mater misericordiae) ML: and hey that’s just for starters
Here you're God's own guest 2/6/7/8/10: All the lucky girls are martyrs
celestially protected. ALL: Hallelu! It’s good to be a nun!
Here within these walls, (vita, dulcedo) 1: Sacrifice!
all's for the very best, 5: Humility!
and always shall be thus(et spes nostra salve). 9: Obedience!
and if heaven's will be done, 1/5/9: Hooray!
here she'll just be one more nun, (Salve Regina) 1: Poverty!
Safe within these walls as one of us! 5: Seclusion!
(salve, salve, amen.) 9: That’s the best!
1: Oh Yes
5: Indeed
4. Its good to be a nun:
1/5/9: AMEN!
Mary Patrick: 4: And should heaven will it, even misery’s ok
The joy of waking up at 4am, right on the dot! ML: Only when you’re miserable can you feel
The thrill of meditating all day long in just one truly blessed.
spot! MP: So, spotlights back on you sister. Your turn!
Mary Lazarus: Deloris: Right. Ok. My favourite thing about being
Or how bout reading scripture til your eyes begin a nun…. The inter-convent mixers
to glaze! ML: WHAT?
MP: Or basking in the magic of your favourite Deloris: TV Night, how bout that?
latin phrase! ML: HUH?
ML: The peace when you surrender all your pride
Deloris: Please say there’s a jacuzzi where you At all the places she goes.
sisters sit and chat? I know her up, down, inside out.
MP: You’re funny! I know the needs that she’s got,
Deloris: A wet bar? I know what gets the girl hot.
6: No! I know i’ve got the inside track.
Deloris: A Tape deck? And yeah, i know she’s upset
7: Uh-uh Well, let her play hard-to-get.
Deloris: Cigarette Machines? ‘cause if i know one thing,
ML: Nope I’m gettin’ her back!
Deloris: Or even just a wet room with some old
people magazines? Because i know that girl!
MP: Oh You! I mean, i feel that girl!
Deloris: A couch? A comfy chair? A Private I understand that girl!
bathroom, central air? I don’t need them all, just And if i want that girl!
maybe one? I’m gonna get that girl!
MP: Wow, your old order really was progressive! Ain’t gonna let that girl get away!
Deloris: Then all that I can say is DAMN I better No way!
pray! And when i find that girl,
ALL: Praise the lord its good to be a nun! I’m gonna kill that girl!
MP: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha I’m gonna wham! Bam! Blam!
1/4/5/9: The strictness! And drill that girl!
MP/ML/7/8: The compunction Won’t rest until that girl
2/3/6/10: The extremeness of the unction Is safe and sound six feet below’ no!
MP/ML/7/8: no the praying! When i find my baby,
1/4/5/9: no the kneeling I ain’t lettin’ her go!
MP/ML/7/8: no that fresh just-baptised feeling
2/3/6/10: no the silence! Curtis/goons:
MP/ML/7/8: The subjection! I bet wherever she’s at
All: Why its practically perfection I bet she’s trapped like a rat
Deloris: JESUS FREAKIN CHRIST WHAT HAVE I And pacin’ up, down, ‘round
DONE?! I mean…. YAY! The floor. (sure, sure.)
All: (joylessly) yay. I bet she’s startin’ to sweat.
ML: One thing’s very clear That girl is buggin’, i bet.
MP: we’re gosh darn lucky that we’re here Bet she’s got one eye on the door.
MP/ML:Whats more, our path to heavens just (tell us more!)
begun I bet she’s missin’ her gigs.
Deloris: Kill me now. I bet she’s missin’ her booze,
Mary Theresa: Patience sister.. I bet she’s tearin’ out her hair.
All: Yes the world’s your oyster, when you’re (yeah, yeah!)
locked inside a cloister. I bet she’s missin’ her fun,
Hallelu! Its good to be a And gettin’ ready to run.
Praise the lord its good to be a And when she does,
Glory be its good to be a NUN! You bet i’m gonna be there.
AMEN!
Goons/curtis:
5. When I Find My Baby Because you know that girl!
(i know her!)
Curtis: You she right through that girl!
I know the way that she thinks, (see right through her!)
I know her habits and kinks. You understand that girl!
I know the staff she’s all about. (i understand what i)
I know the people she knows And when you get that girl,
(have got to do to her)
You’re gonna waste that girl,
(‘cause when i get her)
‘cause you can’t let that girl
(ain’t gonna let her)
Go and squeal. (squeal for real.)
Curtis/goons:
I’m gonna shoot that girl!
(shoot that girl!)
And then i’ll stab that girl,
(stab that girl!)
And then i’ll take her
(take her!)
And shake her,
(shake her!)
And make her meet her maker!
(meet her maker!)
Let ‘em hide that girl
(let ‘em hide that girl!)
Sure as the tide, that girl
Will show
oh! (oh!)
When i find my baby,
I ain’t lettin’ her go!
Yeah, yeah.
Oh yes, i know that girl!
(know that girl!)
And man, i need that girl!
(need that girl!)
I gotta have that girl!
(have that girl!)
So i can snuff that girl!
(snuff that girl!)
If i know my baby! (ahhhh!)
She’s already runnin’!
That’s how my baby
Is gonna be done in!
I’m gonna drown that girl!
(drown that girl!)
Or disembowel that girl!
(disembowel that girl!)
Or give her skull a big dent
(oooooh!)
With a blunt instrument!
I tell ya, soon that girl
(soon that girl)
Is lookin’ at a world of woe!
Wo, (wo, wo ,wo!) Wo, wo!
When i find my baby,
I ain’t lettin’ her go! (no!)
I know she ain’t gone too far! (ohhhhh!)
Go and check Each discothecque,
Tavern and bar!
Go and find my baby
(we’ll find your baby.)
‘cause i ain’t lettin’ her go!
(ah! Oh no!)
Oh no!
6. I Could Be That Guy
Eddie:
[sweaty eddie.]
Sweaty eddie! All of my life,
That's what they've called me,
And that's what i've been.
The blur in the background, The king of uncool.
The first at the office, The last in the pool.
And it's true. But what can i do?
Tell me, why can't she see
There's much more to me
Deep within’ Picture a guy,
A knight in rhinestone armor.
Gleam in his eye,
A zillion-watt smile. Sharp threads,
Moves that get 'em starin'. A turner of heads,
Cool beyond comparin'. Bringin' the pride
With a spring in his stride, And a fistful of style!
And I, I could be that guy.
I could be the cock of the walk,
And the talk of the town.
Leadin' the pack
When the action goes down!
Yeah, I, I'll betcha i could set the World astir.
If i only let myself try,
Well, i could be that guy, For her.
Eddie/street people:
Foolish, i know (oh, no!)
I've never been a charmer.
(charm her, charm her, charm her)
Just can't let go - (ooh - let go!)
But if i could
I would show 'em, but good.
That I, I could be that guy!
I could be the dude all in white,
Bathed in light on the floor.
Livin' out loud
As the crowd shouts for more! just keep your fear from interferin',
and let that sucker burst through!
Yes, I, I could holler "yes!" to destiny!
Time to step out. Raise your voice!
No more fear, no more doubt. Lift it up to heaven!
It's time to grow some wings Raise your voice!
And start to fly! Come on, don’t be shy!
If you feel it, why conceal it’
(oh,I) Oh, I Let your soul rejoice!
(i could be that guy) Raise the stakes!
I just gotta relieve Raise your game!
I just gotta, gotta, Raise your voice!
(i could be that guy)
Gotta believe. [Okay, now it’s your turn,
(i could be that guy) who’s gonna step up
If i'd only believe, and make some real noise’
(i could be that guy) Aah, now don’t be tryin’ to hide from me,
If i'd only believe, Mary Robert!]
(i could be that guy)
That I Why so quiet’
Yes, i could be that guy! Get right up and try it!

I could be the cream of the crop MARY ROBERT:

Set to pop! [It seems so disobedient -]
All the rage! NUN:
Blistering hot [disrespectful -]
In a spot center stage. NUN:
Yes, i [Loud!]
I got what it takes (hey!) MARY PATRICK:`
To break away! (break away!) [No, I hear what she’s saying ‘
it’s the word of the Lord,
Eddie: why should we whisper it’]
[aw, who am i kidding? I?ll always be DELORIS:
Sweaty eddie to her.] [Amen, sister!]

But before it's my time to die, Don’tcha deny it

Hell, i will be that guy, stand and sing with pride!
Someday. Ooh, maybe someday? [Go girl!]
Maybe someday.
MARY PATRICK:
Ahh!
DELORIS:
[Bigger!]
7. Raise Your Voice
MARY 1:
Ahhhh!
DELORIS:
DELORIS: Ahh
First rule of singin' -
Brighter! Arpeggio
Get the rafters ringin'!
MARY 2:
Toss everything in -
Ahhhhhh!
dig down deep inside.
DELORIS
When you’ve got a song worth hearin'.
[Bolder!]
There’s one thing to do -
MARY 3:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! Don’t downplay it -
DELORIS: stand and say it
[Better!] like you’ve got no choice!

If you want the world to listen, MARY ROBERT:

stand up tall and proud. ... Ah’
Let ‘em know what they been missin’ DELORIS:
and turn that volume up loud! [No!]
Aaahhhhh!
[Basses!] [See’]
BASS NUNS:
Ah! MARY ROBERT:
DELORIS: ... Ah’
[Altos!]
ALTO NUNS: DELORIS:
Ah! [No!]
DELORIS: Aaahhhhh!
[Sopranos!] Raise your game!
SOPRANO NUNS Raise some hell!
AH!
DELORIS: ALL NUNS:
[Now together!] Raise your voice!
ALL NUNS EXCEPT MARY ROBERTS:
Ah! DELORIS:
[Ow wooo! OK, girls... lay some pious on me!]
MARY PATRICK:
[Wowzers, did you hear that’ NUN 3/4/5:/6
We actually sang!] Hallelujah! Hallelujah!
DELORIS:
[Yeah yeah, you sang four notes DELORIS:
for like three seconds. [Again!]
And some of us weren’t even doin' that!
Ya gotta work it, ladies! MARY 3/4/5:/6
Pray it to the balcony!] Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Raise your voice DELORIS

push it to eleven. [Yeah!]
Now raise it up!
MARY PATRICK
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah! NUN 3/4/5:/6
NUNS: Hallelujah!
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah!
DELORIS:
DELORIS: Raise it up!
Raise your voice!
Turn those speakers high! NUN 3/4/5:/6
Hallelujah!
MARY LAZARUS:
Do-re-me-fa-so-la-ti-do! Ahh DELORIS:
[Easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy] Scalic
Raise it up!

DELORIS: NUN 3/4/5:/6

Halleluuujah! [Now that’s what I call a joyful noise!]

DELORIS: MARY ROBERT:

[Where’s my girl’ Ah, there she is! Come on gimmie Tu Solus Dominus!
some Gloria!] Tu Solus Altissimus!
Iesu Christe In Gloria Dei Patris!
MARY ROBERT:
Gloria in excelsis Deo. DELORIS:
DELORIS: [Amen!]
[Er, God can’t hear you!]
NUNS:
MARY PATRICK: Raise your voice!
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
DELORIS:
DELORIS: Get your mojo revvin’!
[Ha! Ha! Ha! Ok, now, you join in the third!]
NUNS:
MARY PATRICK/NUN 7: Raise your voice!
Gloria in excelsis Deo!
DELORIS:
DELORIS: Let your freak flag fly!
[Uhhh, rock that Deo! Now, Mary Laz, can you pick Don’tcha hide it! Ahh
things up without getting to winded’] Why not ride it
Like it’s God’s Rolls Royce!
MARY LAZARUS:
[Winded’ Step back, sister!] NUNS:
Raise some heat!
Ladamus Te! Raise some Cain!
Benedicimus Te! Raise it to a higher plane!
Admoramus Te!
Glorificamus Te!............ MARY PATRICK:
Raise a ruckus!
DELORIS:
[Ok, girls join her!] MARY LAZARUS:
Raise the devil!
MARY PATRICK/NUNS:
Gloria in excelsis Deo. MARY ROBERT/NUNS:
Raise it up! (Another level!)
DELORIS: Raise is up! (Raise is up!)
[Ok, now you girls stand up and join in!]
ALL:
NUNS: Raise your voice!
(Hallelu…..jah) ….. Lift it up to heaven! (Lift it up to heaven)
Raise your voice!
DELORIS: Spread it cross the sky!
[Ok, the rest of your ladies! Hallelujah double time, Blast it! Blare it!
let go!] Stand and share it!
Help the world rejoice!
NUNS: Raise a sweat!
Hallelujah! etc….. Raise a cheer!
Raise it to the stratosphere!
DELORIS: Raise your strength.
Raise your spirit. Since receivin' your call.
Raise it so the angels can hear it! Can?t see livin? Withoutcha,
Raise your heart. You?ve got me mind, soul, body
Raise your soul. And all!

DELORIS: Deloris/nuns:
[You guys are gonna be Fabulous!] Pray and i pray
Every night and each day ?
ALL:
Raise your voice. Deloris:
(Gloria in excelsis Deo) Hopin' that you'll drop a line.
Raise your voice.
(Gloria in excelsis Deo) Deloris/nuns:
Raise your voice. Pray and i pray
(Gloria in excelsis Deo) 'Til you sweep me away ?

Raise it... Raise it... Raise it up! Deloris:

Raise your voice! Straight to cloud number nine!

Deloris/nuns:
Aw, you are simply too divine!
Take me to heaven (heaven!)
8. Take Me to Heaven (Reprise)
Take me to ecstasy (ecstasy!)
Monsignor howard:
Nuns:
[welcome this sunday morning. Oh ye few,
I'll give you all i've got,
But faithful. The choir, i am told, has been
'Cause nothin's as hot
Working diligently all week long under a
As when you groove with me!
New director, sister mary clarence, who will
No, no, no, no.
Now lead them in sacred hymn. Sisters...]
Deloris:
Nun choir/deloris: Ohh
And when you strut your stuff,
Benedicta tu (benedicta tu)
And do your thing.
In mulieribus (in mulieribus) Ahh
I just can't help surrendering!
Et benedictus
Fructus ventris tui
Deloris/nuns:
Jesus (Jesus)
You're so strong,
You’re so sweet,
Mother superior:
You’re what makes me complete.
[ay, sisters, that's the loveliest you've ever
I just worship at your feet!
Sound -?]
Deloris:
Take me to heaven,
[a one-two-three-four!
Take me to kingdom come
Here they one, folks! Hot off their
I'll take any vow ?
Novenas, blisterin? With sisterhood. Queen
Of angels is proud to present - the divas
Deloris:
Who believe-a. The nuns with the fun,
Just take me now!
Voulez-vous prier avec the little sisters of
Our mother of perpetual faith!]
Mother superior:
[monsignor. I'm shocked - i don?t know
Nuns:
What to say!]
I been thinkin' aboutcha Ohh

Ahh
Monsignor: You're my hope! (hope!)
[neither do i! Look, people are coming in You're my dream! (dream!)
Off the street to hear them!]
Deloris/nuns;
Deloris/nuns: You rock my world!
(you know) You reign supreme!
Ooh, baby, (just how to thrill me-)
I wanna praise your (ah!) Mother superior:
Name to the skies! [sister mary patrick, oh dear lord! Mary
Lazarus! You know better than this!]
Mother superior:
[what are you doing?!] Ohh, Ahh Mary lazarus/nuns:
You put the boogie ? Uh! (uh!)
Deloris: Into my soul!
[and puttin' booties in the seaties, mama!] You got the boogie ? Uh! (uh!)
Makes me lose control. (beep beep!)
Deloris/nuns:
Ooh, baby, (only you can fulfill me) Nuns:
I've given up On all other guys! (ah -) Hoo hoo hoo!

Mother superior: Mary robert:

[sister mary clarence!] My booty?s headin?
For a special place,
Deloris: Where people shake it, baby,
[be with ya in a sec, i'm workin' the room!] Wrapped in love?s embrace!

Deloris/nuns: Mother superior: [no! Not little mary robert!]

Take me to heaven! Photographer 1: [Connacht telegraph.]
Take me to paradise! Mother superior:[this is profanity!]
Deloris:[it?s fabulous!]
Photographer 2:[smile, sisters!]
Give me your healing touch Photographer 1:[smile!]
Ahh
I need it so much! Photographer 2:[smile!]
(and, oh, it feels so nice!) Deloris: [come on, mama, smile!]
Just tell me what you want
I can't refuse Day or night Oh Yeah Nuns:
I’m yours to use! Oh Baby Take me to heaven!
(I’ll get on my Knees
Just take me please!) Mother superior:
[this is an abomination!]
Deloris:
[if you like our sound, folks, shake your Deloris:
Pockets to the beat! And toss whatever [maybe so, but the crowd’s eatin? It up!]
You find in the offering basket, so we can
Keep giving the love to the man up above!] Mary patrick: [look at those tithings pour in!]

Mary lazarus: [this’ll save our parish, for sure!]

Mary patrick/nuns:
Don't know how you do Mother superior: [get out of my sanctuary!]
What you do, (unh - unh)
It's like you're almost Deloris: [back offa my stage!]
Too good to be true (unh- huh)
Monsignor: [welcome back, o multitudes! Our humble
[oh, sister ? You do make a joyful noise! Sanctuary overflows with your fabulous
And reverend mother ? Bless you for Devotion! So, get down, get
Seeing the light. Sister mary clarencce is Down, get down
Our salvation!] On your knees, and show the lord
How deep is your love.]
Nuns:
Take me higher! Take me higher! Mary patrick:
Aww. Take me to heaven! Girls and boys, come make a
Aww. Take me to heaven! Joyful noise
Aww. Take me to heaven! And do the sunday morning hustle!
Take me there! Bump that thing in praise of
Christ the king
Until you pull your pelvic muscle!
ACT TWO
Nuns
9. Sunday Morning Fever
Get confessed!
Get anointed!
Monsignor:
Then get down
Welcome back faithful followers old and new
Like you were double-jointed!
And now to raise the temperature
Even higher, We have a brand new hymn
Feel the flow! Dig the scene!
By our very own Queen of angels - or
ahhh Shake it like you're mary magdalene!
Should i say Disco queen of angels -
Come and let that Sunday
Choir! Hit it, sisters!] oohhh
Morning fever!
Make your footsies fly!
Deloris/nuns:
Spread the news! It's time to rock the pews!
Eddie:
We've got the Sunday Morning fever!
By popular demand, queen of angels
It's a sound That turns your soul around
Church has expanded to eight mosses per
Until it makes you a believer.
Sunday, all fuelled by the high octane
Choir direction of the fabulous sister mary
Every priest, Every deacon,
Clarence.? [Deloris - what part of
Everyone who feels the beat
"hiding out" don't you understand?]
Starts freakin'.
Catch the bug! Ride the groove!
This keeps goin'
Boogie 'til you feel your spirit move!
And crowds keep growin' ?
Come and get that Sunday morning fever.
The word is gonna spread.
Give the lord a try!
Every mention
Just brings more attention.
Mother superior:
And you won't be so fabulous if
[queen of angels is not your grandma's
You're dead.
Church anymore. God help your
Grandmother if it were.]
All nuns:
Now, put your hands in the air!
Everything that woman does
And wave 'em all around in prayer!
Infects us more and more.
Let your funky behavior
Things were bad the way it was,
Show that you and the savior
But lord, you're killing us with
Got each other like sonny and cher!
The cure!
Mary lazarus:
Monsignor:
A hip, hop. A hippity a hippity
A ding dong dippity dee!
I'm a celibate sister,
But i'm hot as a blister
So hang onto your rosary!
Now i may be a fossil,
But my skills Are colossal,
And i rock the mig just like an apostle,
And i don't stop
'Til your doubts go pop.
And i take you over the top!
We got matt, mark, (matt, mark)
Luke and john. (luke, john)
Those guys are pros,
And that ain't no con.
So let's party on
'Til the break-break-a-dawn
Like a sanctifunkadelic
Orgasmatron!
Nuns:
Get the vibe, make some noise!
Do the bus stop with the altar boys!
You can bet that
Sunday morning fever
Is the reason why!
Mary robert/nuns:
(aw - beep beep!)
Dudes and chicks, (beep beep!)
Whip out your crucifix, (toot, toot)
And join the sunday celebration!
(uh-huh! Join the celebration!)
Genuflect, (toot, toot)
Give god his due respect. (beep, beep)
Then put your backside in rotation!
(well, well, well, well)
Raise your hands! (uh-huh!)
Get them clappin?! (uh-huh!)
And you?ll see that miracles can
Happen! (aw - beep, beep!)
Monsignor:
[sisters, sisters! I bear remarkable news!
A miracle has happened! Bishop donahue
Read last week?s newspaper article about
Our choir?]
[no, no, no? Wait that?s not the news!
He called
Archbishop narsutis, who called cardinal
Mccanna, who has invited us to sing
This week?]
[uh uh hum, uh uh hum let me finish! He has invited
us to
Sing this week for a special visitor... A very
Special visitor from the vatican!]
Mary patrick:
[you mean the po-ho-ho - the po-ho-ho -]
Mother superior:
[calm down, sister! You mean the po-ho-ho -]
Monsignor:
[that’s right ? Can you believe it?
The po-ho-ho himself!]
Deloris/nuns/construction workers:
Praise the lord! Join the flock!
Party 'til you make the cloister rock!
Won't regret that sunday
Morning fever ?
Kiss those sins goodbye!
Fill the church! Pass the plate!
Everybody transubstantiate
Come and get that sunday
Morning fever.
Supernatural high!
Mass appeal was never so real
And can'tcha feel that sunday fever...
Mother superior:
Just imagine what the pope
Will make of them!
Every sequined booty-shake Ahhh
Of them. Arpeggio
Let us pray he isn't too censorial,
And that somehow god's trae
Glory'll rise.
Sunday fiver rise!
Eddie:
Cool it down,
Ya gotta promise me ya will.
Or you'll blow it, guarantee ya will.
And the odds that curtis will see
Ya will rise.
Sunday fever rise!
Monsignor howard: Let's sneak away and go transgress.
Good lord! (go transgress)
Thanks to you! Wo oh oh! (wo, wo)
All this, right in front of our eyes. Hev lady, why not (hey lady, why not)
Sunday fever rise! Take a chance? (take a chance?)
Come on, proud mary,
Nuns/workers: Meet your missionary of romance.
Rise!
Sunday fever rise! Anto/tj/Joey:
Why not lose that veil and
Wimple, baby!
10. Lady in the Long Black Dress Have some sacramental wine!
Let me lay it on ya simple, baby ?
Joey:
[what's happenin', sister? Yeah baby, i'm talkin' Joey:
To you. My name's Joey. I'm a libra, a dig Sister, you know i gotta?
Sunsets, strolling on the beach, and loving
My neighbor as myself. And right now, Tj:
Baby, i'm standing next door to you.] So let me worship at your shrine.

Picture you and me one Joey:

Sweet, sweet night And if you got stigmata?
In a pool of votive candlelight.
Just one thing could make the Tj/Joey:
Mood more right ? Show me yours, i?ll show you mine!
God droppin' in to sing like
Barry white. Anto/tj/Joey:
Hey, lady in the long black dress, Ay, mami, en el vestido
Let's give you something to confess. Provocativo! (oh wo)
Wo oh oh! Hey lady, take a good long glance. Porque es cristo tu hombre
I ain't no pastor ? Exclusivo?
I'm a stone cold master of romance!
Tj/Joey:
Tj: Hey lady, no more won’ts or can’ts!
[that ain't no way to get a lady, Joey.
Here's how you talk to a sister: ave, baby. Anto:
My name's tj, scorpio. An' lemme quess, Soy amoroso!
Virgo, right? Well put away that rosary,
Girl, 'cause i'm here to sweep you off Tj:
Your knees and take you to a place i like I'm a virtuoso!
To call tj town. So?]
Joey:
Loosen up those vestments, just a bit. And lf i'm just so so?
Drop that bible, baby yeah, that's it.
See, i know what all your Tj/Joey/Anto:
Vows permit ? ? Frankly, you won't know, so ?
And i don't mind keepin' it
Immaculate! Tj:
Sweet lady in the long, black dress!
Tj/Anto/Joey:
Hey, lady in the long black dress, Anto:
(hey! Long black dress) Sweet lady!
 Shrieking you and you sons holy praise.
Joey:
Sweet lady! I got altar boys prancing in silver lame
Requiem mass with a strobe light display!
Tj/Joey/Anto: Lord, if you’re testing my faith, may I say – I’ts not
Please tell me what's latin for yes? fair!
Wo oh oh! With everything I got, I haven’t got a prayer.
Hey lady, don'tcha look askance!
Come on, say hiya No, I got fog machine clouding the altar.
To your love messiah And a mirrorball over the apse
And don't make me try a new advance. I got half of a flock dressed to utterly shock
Forget jehovah, 'Cause the wait is ovah. And the rest wearing moonboots or chaps
Come to casanova
For romance. I got bikers and addicts and punks in the pews
Several transvestites, a handful of jews.
Joey: Lord, can you blame me at all if I choose to
[man, we're smoooove!] despair?
I mean, how could I not? I haven’t got a prayer.
Tj:
[no nun can say no to us!] I thought Id get a glimpse of glory.
I thought Id get a taste of grace
Anto: I thought Id get to make thus fallen world
[vamos, hermanos! Al convento!] A finer gentler place.
A haven for the soul
Joey: More safe, more pure, more whole
Wo wo baby, baby baby oo But no!!

Anto: I got priests doing moves like Travolta

Wo wo wo ? Oo A communion that’s somehow risqué
People flailing their limbs
Tj: Getting down to the hymns
Wo wo yeah veah yeah While your sanctity dims day by day
And I don’t have a clue what to do except grieve
Tj/Joey/Anto: Don’t know in what or in who to believe
Wo wo! Don’t really know if its true that your even still
there….
So tell me, are you there/
Tell me, do you care?
11. I haven’t got a prayer Lord if you are near
Saint Anthony got visions in the desert. If I can get your ear
Saint Joan got voices in her head I’ve had it up to here!
St Ignatius got beaten Please make her disappear!
Then partially eaten Too late for that, I fear.
Then hung by the feet until dead. You’ve made your answer clear.
St Stephen got stoned and st. francis disowned. I haven’t got a prayer, and never had a prayer.
All got tested, and passed, as it were. I haven’t got a prayer.
And like it or not, just look what I got- HER.

And not just her… 12. Bless Our Show

I got disco piped into the cloister
I got glitter wherever you gaze Deloris:
I got celibate nuns out there shaking their buns Bless our show, Bless our music,
Bless the songs we’re gonna sing.
Bless the stage that we’ll stand on
When we stand and do our thing.
Bless each line, every number,
All the steps that we’ve rehearsed.
And allow us, somehow to be great,
At the worst.
Bless each note, And each lyric,
Help us try to stay on key.
Bless the lights And the soundboard,
Bless our choreography.
From the top of the downbeat
'Till the final curtain call -
Bless the day, Bless our show,
Bless it all!
Deloris:
Let us rest when we?re stressed,
So our best shines through!
Nuns:
Bless our riffs and arrangements!
Let our solos truly rock!
Mary robert:
Help us tear up the sucker,
'Till they hear us down the block!
Nuns:
Let us lay down the boogie
'Till its bouncing wall to wall!

[well that’s our prayer everybody, good night and Some nuns:
god bless!] Bless our mics!

Mary patrick: Other nuns:

No, no, no, no, no, wait, mary clarance! Wait! Bless our amps!
There’s still so much more to pray for!
All nuns:
Deloris: Bless it all!
Well, what'd i leave out? Let our voices gleam and glisten!
I blessed the soundboard for chrissakes! Grant us strength to sing our best!
And let all of those who listen
Mary patrick: Feel they too are truly blessed!
Bless our props!
(instrumental)
Nun 3:
Bless our costumes! Deloris:
Bless our love and our friendship,
Mary robert: May it somehow be enough.
Give our sequins extra glitz! Most of all, keep us smiling
While we?re strutting all our stuff.
Nun 8: Let us lift one another
Bless our moves! 'Till the spirits fill the hall.
Make ?em killer!
Nun 10:
Mary lazarus: Bless the beat!
Let us nail the funky bits!
Mary lazarus:
Nun 7: Bless the base!
Bless our vibe!
Mary patrick:
Nun 9: Bless each person in the place!
Give us mojo!
Nun 11:
Nun 6: Bless the footlights!
Help our booties shake on cue!
Nun 12:
Bless the spotlights!
Nun 1:
Let 'em light up every face!
Nun 13/Nun 11/Nun 6/Nun 4:
Bless our hearts!
Nun 1/Nun 14/Nun 9/Nun 3:
Bless our souls!
Deloris
Bless our song!
Nuns:
Bless our song!
All nuns:
Bless our church!
Bless our sisters!
Bless our show!
13. The Life I Never Led
Mary Robert:
I've never talked back,
I've never slept late,
I've never sat down
When told to stand straight
I've never let go
And gone with the flow,
And don't even know, really, why.
I've never asked questions,
Or taken a dare.
I've never worn clothes
That might make people stare.
I've never rebelled,
Or stood up and yelled,
Or even just held my head high.
And all of the feelings unspoken,
All of the truths unsaid,
They're all i have left
Of the life i never led.
I've never gone surfing,
Or ran with a crowd.
Or danced on a table,
Or laughed much too loud.
I've never quite dared
To leave myself bared -
I've just been too scared i might fall,
I've never seen paris,
Swum naked,
Been kissed.
I've never quite realised
Just how much i've missed
And what did i get
For hedging each bet?
Another regret, and that's all.
And all of the wishes unasked for,
All of needs unfed -
They're all that remain
Of the life i never led.
And now...
Now that you've given me one
Little taste of it -
And now...
Now that i know what i know -
Well how...
How can i go on ignoring the waste of it?
After all of the years
That i've clung to my fears.
Won't you help me let go?
Help me let go!
I want to be brave, I want to be strong.
I want to believe I'm where i belong.
To stand up and say "i'm seizing the day"
To not just obey, but to choose.
And i may not surf, I may not see france.
But i have to know I still have the chance.
And maybe i'll make A painful mistake.
It's mine though, to take or refuse.
And all of the doors yet to open,
All of the rooms ahead -
They're beckoning bright,
Scary and new -
But i'm standing tall, And i'm walking through.
What's gone may be gone, But i won't go on
Playing dead!
It's time to start living
The life i never led.
14. Fabulous, Baby! (Reprise)
Deloris:
Gonna walk out that courthouse
And find me a nightclub to sing at.
[and none of this downtown disco -
Some place classy.]
Nuns/deloris:
Gonna get me an agent, Ave maria, ave maria, Gratia ple..
The money the fame the whole deal,
[and this time aint nothing stopping me] Deloris:
Gonna knock the world out, No!
And there ain't any fence i won't swing at.
I’m tomorrows sensation, Backups:
The new disco queen, D-e-l-o-r-i-s.
The next double deckered, D-e-l-o-r-i-s.
Hit record machine. D-e-l-o-r-i-s.
A bomb shell-to-be
Like the world's never seen. Deloris
And, no, i won't miss [i can't go back. Curtis'll find me there.
That whole sister routine! I gotta testify tomorrow, put him away,
And and get on with my life.
[ladies and gentlemen, get ready! Yeah!]
Deloris van cartier is back!]
Backups:
Look at my star Risin' right on cue! Yes, yes, yes!
Look at my dreams As the all come true!
Look at me now, Baby, dig that view! Deloris:
[lights! Glitter! Glamour!] Look at my look, ain't i lookin' good?
Look out, manhatan and hollywood!
Look at my act, baby! Ain’tcha wowed? Look, i'm at last doin' what i should!
Everything goes, and it's all allowed!
I’m back in business with my own crowd! Nuns:
Salve regina, mater misericordiale,
[backups! Dancers! Vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra salve.
And of course my fans! C?mon, people!
Lemme feel the love!] Deloris:
[i gotta go back, and even curtis ain't crazy
Look at me! Can'tcha see - Enough to shoot me in front of no pope.
My girls need me.]
Backups:
She's fabulous baby! Backups:
You're fabulous, fabulous,
Deloris: Fabulous, fabulous!
I’m fabulous baby! Check me out!
Ain't no doubt Deloris:
Where this girl should go! Gotta get to a place
Where for once i can say i succeeded!
Backups:
No no no! Backups:
D-e-l-o-r-i-s!
Deloris:
So don’t hold me back, Deloris:
'Cause i'm good as gone. (ooooh) Gotta get to a place
Straight down the track, Where at last i can feel i belong
Honey, movin' on! (movin' on)
Me i'm fabulous baby! Nuns:
Much too fabulous to... De profundis clamavi!
 And in my sisters' eyes
Deloris: I recognize the star I want to be.
Gotta get to a place
Where at last i'll be loved and be needed! And with my sisters standing strong,
I’m on the stage where I belong.
Nuns: And nothing’s ever gonna change that fact.
Look at me! (Ahhhhh!) I’m part of one terrific sister act.

Deloris: And yes, I love that spotlight!

[stop...] Yes I crave acclaim!
I’ll admit I love the sound
Backups: when strangers scream my name.
Look at me! All that glitz and glamour,
they’re all right no doubt.
Deloris: But what are you left with
[no...] when the lights go out’

Nuns: I’ll have my sisters with me still,

Look at me! I’ll have my sisters, always will.
And with my sisters' love,
Deloris: no star above will shine as
[please...] bright as me.

Backups: And as a sister and a friend,

Look at me! I’ll be a sister ‘til the end,
and no one on this earth can
Deloris change that fact -
[just, let me be...] I’m part of one terrific sister act.

Backups/nuns:
Look at me! Look at me!
Look at me! Look at me!
Look! Look! Look! Look!
16. Spread The Love Around
Deloris:
[stop!] Mother superior
All things being even,
Here’s what i believe in -
15. Sister Act Nothing matters more than love.

DELORIS:
I don’t need a spotlight,
I don’t need a crowd,
I don’t need the great wide world
to shout my name out loud.
Don’t need fame or fortune,
nice as those things are,
I’ve got all I need
to feel like I’m a star.
I’ve got my sisters by my side.
I’ve got my sisters' love and pride.
Deloris:
Friendship and affection...
Real connection...
It’s a gift from above.
Mother superior:
Every song that we play -
Deloris:
Every prayer that we pray -
Mother superior/deloris:
Makes a bond in a way that’s profound. A-a-a-a-a-h-h-h-h
Spread it 'round!
Mother superior: A-a-a-a-a-h-h-h-h
We’re just here to spread that love all around... Spread it around!
Ahhhhhhhhh
Deloris:
Spread it around... Deloris:
Once you start to spread it, Oohhh..
Mother superior: Baby, if you let it.
Spread it around! Love comes right on back to you!
Passion and devotion,
Monsignor howard: Real emotion -
[queen of angels welcomes his holiness the Watch it come burstin' through!
Po-ho -ho the po... So give in to the beat,
Oh, welcome holy father!] And get knocked off your feet -
Let it sweep you completely away!
Nuns:
Ooooooooooooh Nuns:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh Hey ‘ Hey
Oh wah
Deloris/nuns:
Start a conversation, Grab a partner and head out to the parquet!.
Throw a celebration, And get up!
Let whatever’s in you out!
Welcoming and sharing, Altar boys:
Simply caring Get up!
That’s what live is about. Oooo
Deloris/nuns:
oohhh
Don’t just sit on the side, And join the crowd on the floor!
Go along for the ride - Jump in!
With your heart open wide as it goes!
Let love’s music fill you down to your toes! Altar boys:
Jump in!
And get up!
Get up and join the crowd on the floor! Deloris/nuns:
Jump in! That’s what your spirit is for!
Jump in, that’s what your spirit is for. Reach out!
Reach out!
Reach out, embrace the love thatcha found! Deloris/nuns/altar boys:
Then go ahead. Reach out, embrace the love thatcha found!
Let it spread all around! Life’s only love -
Spread the love around!
Get down!
Get down, with all your heart and your soul! Curtis/goons/altar boys:
Dance on! Everyone,
Dance on, become a part of the whole! Join your hands together!
Don’t stop! Everyone,
Don’t stop, until your lost in the sound! Find the common ground!
Life’s only love - Everyone,
Spread the love around! Sister and brother,
Love one another,
Spread it ‘round! Spread it around!
 17. I will follow him
All (variously):
I will follow him,
Everyone (everyone)
Follow him where ever he may go
Join your hands together (join your hands
And near him I always will be,
together)
For nothing can keep me away;
Everyone (everyone)
He is my destiny.
Find the common ground (find the common
ground)
I will follow him.
Everyone (every)
Ever since he touched my heart I knew
Sister and brother,
There isn't an ocean too deep,
Love one another,
A mountain so high it can keep,
Spread it around!
Keep me away,
And get down. Away from his love
Get down!

Nuns: I love him, I love him, I love him and where he

Get up! (everyone join your hands together)
Get up, and join the crowd on the floor!
Jump in! (everyone find the common ground)
Jump in!
That’s what your spirit is for.
Reach out! (everyone, sister and brother)
Reach out! Embrace the love thatcha found!
Then go a head let it spread all around! (love one
another spread it around)
All:
Get down! Get down!
With all your heart and your soul!
Dance on! Dance on! (wooo)
Become a part of the whole!
Don’t stop! Don’t stop!
Until your lost in the sound!
Life’s only love!
Spread the love! (spread it)
Spread the love! (spread it)
Spread the love! (spread it)
Spread the love
Love
Love around!
goes I'll follow, I'll follow, I'll follow
Deloris:
I will follow him,
Follow him where ever he may go
There isn't an ocean too deep,
A mountain so high it can keep,
Keep me away.
We will follow him, (follow him)
Follow him where ever he may go. (oohh)
There isn't an ocean too deep, (too deep)
A mountain so high it can keep, Keep us away,
Away from his love
Mary Robert:
Wooaahhh
I love him, (oh yes I love him);
I'll follow, (I'm gonna follow.)
True love,(he'll always be my true love)
Forever, (from now until forever.)
I love him, I love him, I love him (Yes I love him)
And where he goes I'll follow, I'll follow,
I'll follow. (Ill follow)
He'll always be my true love, my true love, My
true love from now until forever, Forever,
forever. (woooooo)

There isn't an ocean too deep, (no ocean)

A mountain so high it can keep, keep us away
(Nothing can keep us away)
Away from his love.
Hail Holy Queen
Hail Holy Queen enthroned above
Oh Maria
Hail Mother of Mercy and of love
Oh Maria
Triumph all ye Cherubim
Sing with us sweet Seraphim
Heaven and earth resound our hymn
Salve, Salve, Salve Regina
(clap)
Hail Holy Queen enthroned above
Oh Maria
Hail Mother of Mercy and of love
Oh Maria
Triumph all ye Cherubim
Sing with us sweet Seraphim
Heaven and earth resound our hymn
Salve, Salve, Salve Regina
Our life, our sweetness, here below
Oh Maria
Our hope in sorrow and in woe
Oh Maria
Triumph all ye Cherubim (Cherubim)
Sing with us sweet Seraphim (Seraphim)
Heaven and earth resound our hymn
Salve, Salve, Salve Regina
Al-le-lu-ia
Mater amata intemerata
Sanctus, Sanctus Dominus
Virgo respice, Mater adspice
Sanctus, Sanctus Dominus
Al-le-lu-ia (Alleluia)
Our life, our sweetness, here below
Oh Maria
Our hope in sorrow and in woe
Oh Maria
Triumph all ye Cherubim (Cherubim)
Sing with us sweet Seraphim (Sweet Seraphim)
Heaven and earth resound our hymn
Salve, Salve, Salve Regina (Salve, yeah)
Salve Regina (Woah)
Salve Regina
Respect
What you want, Baby, I got it
What you need, Do you know I got it?
All I'm askin' Is for a little respect
When you come home (just a little bit)
Hey, baby (just a little bit)
When you get home (just a little bit)
Mister (just a little bit)
I ain't gonna do you wrong while you're gone
Ain't gonna do you wrong 'Cause I don't wanna
All I'm askin' is for a little respect
When you come home (just a little bit)
Baby (just a little bit)
When you get home (just a little bit)
Yeah (just a little bit)
I'm about to give you all of my money
And all I'm askin' in return, honey
Is to give me my propers
When you get home (just a, just a, just a, just a)
Yeah, baby (just a, just a, just a, just a)
When you get home (just a little bit)
Yeah (just a little bit)
Instrumental
Ooh, your kisses sweeter than honey
And guess what? So is my money
All I want you to do for me
Is give it to me when you get home (re, re, re ,re)
Yeah, baby (re, re, re ,re)
Whip it to me (respect, just a little bit)
When you get home, now (just a little bit)
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Find out what it means to me
R-E-S-P-E-C-T
Take care, TCB
Oh (sock it to me, sock it to me
Sock it to me, sock it to me)
A little respect (sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it
to me, sock it to me)
Whoa, babe (just a little bit)
A little respect (just a little bit)
I get tired (just a little bit)
Keep on tryin' (just a little bit)
You're runnin' out of foolin' (just a little bit)
And I ain't lyin' (just a little bit)
A little respect