Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Handfasting / Tying The Knot: Samples by Lou Szymkow
Handfasting / Tying The Knot: Samples by Lou Szymkow
Handfasting (fastening) is an ancient marriage ritual of mixed origin including Celtic, Chinese, Indian &
Hindu, Indigenous American, Islander, Maritime and even Pagan.
The Celtic ritual involves a blessing of hands and a ‘tying of the knot’ securing the couple together.
In Hinduism it is of religious significance and so should only be performed by a Prasad, hence for Civil
Ceremonies in Australia, we tend to follow the Celtic, Chinese or the Seafarers tradition.
In Christian Churches, the act might be symbolic when the Priest or Minster drapes a stole (long narrow
vestment similar to a scarf) is draped over the couples’ hands during a blessing.
A handfasting ritual in a Civil Ceremony performed during a wedding ceremony, can take place instead of
a ring exchange, in preparation for it, or at any time, following it such as at the end of the very end of the
Ceremony.
The Celebrant describes the symbolism of each cord to make sure everyone attending the ceremony
appreciates and knows its meaning.
The smaller individually coloured cords can be used to create a larger single cord of many colours
symbolising unity.
CHARMS
A charm or charms such as a Celtic symbol/s can be added to the middle or ends, but couples can include
any charm that has meaning to them e.g.:
• a key and/or lock symbolising freedom, fidelity and the locking of hearts
• a charm from the place where they met
• a cultural, or familial symbol, or heritage
• spirituality
The cords or ribbons can also instead, be carried or worn by others, or simply be presented by the
Celebrant or others, at an appropriate time.
APPLICATION
1. If worn as a sash, the ribbons can be lowered from the shoulder of one party, and then the other
and that this action in itself creates a knot. Alternatively, the sash can be removed and then draped
across the joined hands.
2. The cord or ribbon can be lightly draped over and around joined hands, or
• can be untied & removed with a reminder that the physical binding is no longer required as it is
the hearts and love that will ensure the continued binding, or that fate has been fulfilled
• can be cut with flare so that the knot can be kept as a reminder of the promises made but still
symbolising that the hearts and love that will ensure the continued binding, or that fate has been
fulfilled. Cutting the cord enables the knot to remain intact for mounting & display in the marital
home.
In the Celtic tradition, it might take place before the ring exchange but that presents the obvious
difficulties of managing a ring exchange and signing of marriage certificates with one hand tied and so it
is best undertaken after the rings, as a part of the vows, or as a blessing after the signing.
Woven into this cord, imbued into its very fibres, are all the hopes of your friends
and family, and of yourselves, for your new life together.
With the fashioning of this knot do I tie all the desires, dreams, love, and
happiness wished here in this place to your lives for as long as love shall last.
<knot is tied>
In the joining of hands and the fashion of a knot, so are your lives now bound,
one to another.
May this knot remain tied for as long as love shall last.
May this cord draw your hands together in love, never to be used in anger.
May the vows you have spoken never grow bitter in your mouths.
As any child discovers when they are learning to tie their own shoes, the first
move is to cross the ends.
As your hands are bound by this cord, so is your partnership held by the symbol
of this knot.
May it be granted that what is done before the god/s be not undone by man.
Two entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by
hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to
this union.
The cord is looped around and though the hands and brought back to the top where a secure and
obvious knot is tied.
Celebrant: This couple have chosen to honour the Celtic heritage with an ancient Irish
wedding tradition symbolising the act of “tying the knot.”
These are the hands of your best friend, young and strong and full of love for
you, that are holding yours on your wedding day, as you promise to love each
other today, tomorrow and forever.
These are the hands that will work alongside yours, as together you build your
future.
These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the
years, and with the slightest touch, will comfort you like no other.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear, grief or sorrow fills your mind.
These are the hands that will wipe the tears of sorrow away from your eyes and
caress the tears of joy upon your cheeks.
These are the hands that will help you to hold your family as one.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
These are the hands that, even when wrinkled and aged, will still be reaching for
yours, still giving you same unspoken tenderness with just a touch.
<At an appropriate time, the cord is cut with the knot still intact and the cord is
then placed into a ceremonial container or on display with the words>:
Celebrant: This cord is cut from your hands, but the knot remains just as your love and
memory of your vows will continue to bind you.
Celebrant: By your presence, you celebrate with them the love that they share.
A ritual however acts as a symbol of how far you have grown together and a further
symbol of the promises that you have made to each other.
This Ceremony today, and this next ritual affirms the choice you make to stand
together and to love each other wholly.
<Partner 1>: I ask you now, do you take <Partner 2> to be your husband/wife/partner Do you
promise to love, honour, cherish and protect him/her, and remain faithful to him/her
now and always?
<Partner 2> I ask you now, do you take <Partner 1> to be your husband/wife? Do you promise to
love, honour, cherish and protect him/her, and remain faithful to him/her now and
always?
Celebrant: <Partner 1> and <Partner 2> have chosen the ancient Celtic tradition of handfasting
which symbolises the binding of two people in love – literally tying the knot.
The handfasting cord is made from two strands, one representing <Partner 2> and one
representing <Partner 1>.
<display cords>
<Partner 2>, take <Partner 1>’s hands palm up, so you may see the gift that they are
to you.
The palm is vulnerable, yet in it, you see the markings of life and scars work undertaken.
Now <Partner 1>, please take <Partner 2>’s hands, and hold them palms up, so you
may see the gift they are to you.
These are the hands of your best friend, young and gentle and full of love,
<pause>
This cord is <colour 1> and symbolises the love <party 1> shares today.
<chosen one stand behind couple and drapes cord N/S over hands in view of all>
This cord is <colour 2> and symbolises the love <party 2> shares today.
<2nd chosen one stand behind couple and drapes cord over hands E/W in view of all>
Celebrant: These are the hands that will love you with passion,
cherish you with tenderness and lift you up when you fall.
These are the hands that will hold you when fear or grief would overwhelm you.
These are the hands that will wipe your tears from your eyes, whether they are tears
of sorrow or joy.
These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your
dreams.
These are the hands that will give you strength when you need it.
And finally, these are the hands that, even when wrinkled with age, will reach for your
own still offering the same sweet tenderness as they do today.
Treasure these hands that you see before you this day.
May they always reach out with love, gentleness, and respect.
If you follow these words and heed this sacred binding, your hands will heal, protect,
shelter, and guide.
No other ties are more tender, no other vows more important than those you make
today, each other.
Celebrant: <Partner 1>, please look in to the eyes of your love and say these words to him/her:
Partner 1: <Partner 2> you are my partner in life and my one true love.
I will love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So, I give you my life to keep
Celebrant: <Partner 2>, please look in to the eyes of your love and say these words to him/her:
Partner 2: <Partner 1> you are my partner in life and my one true love.
I will love you today, tomorrow, and forever.
As I have given you my hand to hold
So, I give you my life to keep
Celebrant: I will remove the cords, by cutting it so that the love may flow freely but that knot
remains to be displayed as a lasting symbol of your vows, binding and commitment.
As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the
ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.
With full awareness, know that within this circle you are not only declaring your
intent to be handfasted before your friends and family, but you speak that intent
also to your creative higher powers.
The promises made today and the ties that are bound here greatly strengthen your
union; they will cross the years and lives of each soul’s growth.
Celebrant: In times past it was believed that the human soul shared characteristics with all
things divine. It is this belief which assigned virtues to the cardinal directions;
East, South, West and North. It is in this tradition that a blessing is offered in
support of this ceremony.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the East. Communication of the heart,
mind, and body Fresh beginnings with the rising of each Sun. The knowledge of
the growth found in the sharing of silences.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the South. Warmth of hearth and home
The heat of the heart’s passion The light created by both To lighten the darkest
of times.
Blessed be this union with the gifts of the North Firm foundation on which to
build Fertility of the fields to enrich your lives A stable home to which you may
always return.
Groom: I May.
Groom: No.
Bride: I may.
Bride: No.
Celebrant: Will you share each other’s pain and seek to ease it?
Bride: Yes.
Groom: Yes.
Celebrant: Will both of you look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other?
Bride: I may.
Bride: No.
Groom: I May.
Groom: No
Celebrant: Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Bride: Yes
Bride: Yes
Groom: I May.
Bride: No
Bride: I may
Bride: No
Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
Bride: I will.
Groom: I will
Celebrant: Will you seek to never give cause to break that honour?
The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your
vows. Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own
hands the making of breaking of this union.
As you seek to enter this state of matrimony you should strive to make real, the
ideals which give meaning to both this ceremony and the institution of marriage.
Celebrant: These are the hands that will passionately love you and cherish you through the
years, for a lifetime of happiness.
These are the hands that will countless times wipe the tears from your eyes: tears
of sorrow and tears of joy.
These are the hands that will comfort you in illness, and hold you when fear or
grief racks your mind.
These are the hands that will hold you tight as you struggle through difficult
times.
These are the hands that will give you support and encourage you to chase your
dreams. Together, everything you wish for can be realized.
Celebrant: Back in earlier years, the hands would be bound with whatever was available –
vines, colourful cords, or scarf. Today we will use these cords to symbolize the
binding, or promises.
Groom: I will
Bride: I will.
Celebrant: Will you be each other’s constant friends and one true love?
Bride: I will.
Groom: I will.
Celebrant: Will both of you stand by one another in sickness and in health, in plenty and in
want?
Celebrant: Bride, will you stand together with Groom your times of joy and sorrow?
Bride: I will.
Celebrant: Groom, will you stand together with Bride your times of joy and sorrow?
Groom: I will.
Celebrant: Will you share the burdens of each so that your spirits may grow in this union?
Celebrant: Groom will you always to be open and honest with Bride, for as long as you both
shall live?
Groom: I will.
Bride: I will.
Groom: I May.
Bride: No
Bride: I may
Bride: No
Will you take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of this union?
Celebrant: Will you dream together to create new realities and hopes for this marriage?
Bride: I will.
Celebrant: Will you both seek to cherish and strengthen that honour?
Celebrant: The knots of this binding are not formed by these chords but instead by your
vows.
Either of you may drop the chords, for as always, you hold in your own hands
the making or breaking of this union.
Person 1: I place this Red ribbon as a sign of romance, partnership and happiness.
Person 2: I place this White ribbon, for peace, sincerity and devotion.
Person 3: I place this gold ribbon for unity, prosperity and longevity.
Person 4: I now tie the ribbons together to signify the tying of the knot.
Celebrant: As this knot is tied, so are your lives now bound together.
Woven into these ribbons, into the very fibres, are all the hopes of all your friends
and family, and of themselves, for a new life together.
With the fashioning of this knot you tie all the desires, dreams, love, and
happiness wished here in this place to your lives for all time.
In the joining of hands and the fashioning of a knot, so are your lives now bound,
one to another.
By this ribbon you are now and forevermore bound to your vow.
May this knot remain tied for as long as love shall last.
May this ribbon draw your hands together in love, never to be used in anger.
May the vows you have spoken always be sweet on your lips.
As any child discovers when they are learning to tie their own shoes, the first
move is to cross the ends.
The cross creates the (X), which is the symbol of partnership and union.
As your hands are bound by this ribbon, so is your partnership held by the symbol
of this knot.
Two entwined in love, bound by commitment and fear, sadness and joy, by
hardship and victory, anger and reconciliation, all of which brings strength to
this union.
Hold tight to one another through both good times and bad, and watch as your
strength grows. I shall now remove the ribbons.
Knots were created from the simple to extraordinarily elaborate and some just for their beauty or for
special significance.
It is made up of two overhand knots, linked together, just as lovers link their hearts.
A sailor would tie the knot loosely, and send it to his “intended” who, upon receiving:
ii) send it back, leaving it loose, just as she had received it, meaning the sailor would be
welcomed home, but more wooing was required, or
iii) send it back, but tightened, meaning the sailor should return quickly to her loving arms.
Ritual
Celebrant: <GROOM>, since you are asking <BRIDE> to marry you, take these cords (Celebrant
hands <Groom> the ropes), which represents the bond between you, and tie the knot
which signifies your intentions for your gathered.
Celebrant: (Speaking to <Groom> and <Bride>): These two cords represent your pasts, your own
individual and separate lives before.
(<Groom> ties the simple knot and hands the rope to <Bride>)
Celebrant: <BRIDE>, will you please give your response by tightening the knot, representing that
you will always hold <GROOM>’S heart to yours.
(<Bride> tightens knot and hands rope to Celebrant. Celebrant holds knot up for all to
see.)
Celebrant: It is known to be one of the simplest knots to tie, but it is also one of the strongest
there is; it will not break, and will only become stronger when under pressure. The rope
itself will break before the knot comes undone.
Celebrant: As you intertwine your pieces, you are joining your two lives into one.
The finished knot symbolises your future, and how your love and marriage will continue
to be strong despite any trials life may throw your way.
<Groom> and <Bride> each hold onto a rope end and lean apart>
Celebrant: We see by this knot that they B&G share the same intentions and that they will hold
each other’s heart tight, forming a strong bond from here to forever.
Let this knot be a symbol of the strength of your love for each other.
To the Chinese, red is the colour of love, courage and good fortune.
There is an East Asian belief originating from Chinese legend. Where the Gods tie an invisible red
cord around the ankles of those that are destined to be lovers regardless of place, time, or
circumstances, and though the cord may stretch or tangle, will never break. In Japanese and Korean
cultures, it is thought to be tied around the little finger.
As they grow, the string gets shorter and brings them closer.
Celebrant : There is a belief originating from a Chinese legend that the Gods tie an invisible
red cord to those that are destined to be lovers regardless of place, time, or
circumstances, and though the cord may stretch or tangle, will never break.
As they grow, the string gets shorter and brings them closer.
To symbolise this arrival, I ask the Bride to now tie a string to her new husband’s
hand
Bride: I tie this thread to show that our love has always been destined
Celebrant : I ask the Groom to now tie a string to his bride’s hand
Groom: I tie this thread because you are my love and my destiny
To the Chinese, red is the colour of love, courage and good fortune.
There is an East Asian belief originating from Chinese legend. Where the Gods tie an invisible red cord
around the ankles of those that are destined to be lovers regardless of place, time, or circumstances, and
though the cord may stretch or tangle, will never break. In Japanese and Korean cultures, it is thought to
be tied around the little finger.
As they grow, the string gets shorter and brings them closer.
The red string of fate and red goblet ceremony share the legend in that when the string has finally brought
them face to face and the couples have matured, they sip from two goblets tied together by red string,
symbolizing unity and blessings for shared good fortunes.
Celebrant : <invites mothers/or representative relative to come forward & prepare goblets>
Celebrant : There is a belief originating from Chinese legend that the Gods tie an invisible
red cord to those that are destined to be lovers regardless of place, time, or
circumstances, and though the cord may stretch or tangle, will never break.
As they grow, the string gets shorter and brings them closer.
A sweet wine tells us that <Bride> and <Groom> will always enjoy Celebrating
the joy of life.
And we can find an inkling of that in this red ribbon, that is laced with gold
thread.
You both have these qualities within you and see them with each other.
There is a belief originating from Chinese legend, where the Gods tie an invisible
red ribbon to those that are destined to be lovers regardless of place, time, or
circumstances, and though the ribbon may stretch or tangle, it will never break.
As they grow, the ribbon gets shorter and brings them closer.
Mystics believe that our souls are connected by a gold thread. It marks all that is
good and precious within us and is a guiding line through eternity that we might
always find each other.
Celebrant: Today, to mark his path and journey, I ask our witnesses, to each take a ribbon
end and tie one end to the Groom’s wrist, and the other end to Bride’s wrist.
Celebrant: we tie this ribbon to show that your love has always been destined
Celebrant: we tie this ribbon because you are each other’s greatest love and destiny.
You may choose to display the ribbon prominently in your home as reminder of
this day and of your vows.