< Online Classes ow Notes - part 1- p.141 Expanding ideas to develop a mature style: Paragraph 3: “| realized the weather was fins to the reader) " (brief statement that doesn’t reveal any picture “| couldn't understand where | had gone wrong. Although it had been overcast the night before, surprisingly, | woke up,that morning, to the sound of birds twitting, feeling the warm beams of the sun which was peaking brightly in the cloud-free blue skies. It was a good enough reason why | decided to take a shortcut ,so that I'd make up for the the time | had lost, and come back in the lead again.” (Creating a sense of purpose) “ Halfway through, | noticed something was wrong.” ( must a question here; what went wrong?) “ Halfway through, though, | started to have this eerie feeling; something was wrong! The passes were becoming steeper and the boulders even larger, when! finally reached a dead end. ... Paragraph 5: “ Sometime later, | felt a ray of hope sent when | heard what sounded like a car engine. | sat up and listened again! At that moment , | was sure | wasn’t mistaken, and in a fraction of a second, forgetting all about my tiresome, | ,,,."