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How To Boycott Israel For Dummies - New Campus Apartheid Edition
How To Boycott Israel For Dummies - New Campus Apartheid Edition
Uncle Steven is writing these words from a school bus in Occupied Native America.
Uncle Hassan is writing these words from an occupied cave in Syria.
Both of us are imprisoned in our exile because the greedy Zionists remain in power. They have subjugated the
“liberal democracies” of the imperialist white supremacist capitalist West solely to erase Palestine. And now they
are coming after our diaspora, our brown queer allies, our caves, and our school buses.
Zionist Pinkwashing
Pinkwashing is Israel’s deceptive practice of
celebrating itself as a gay paradise in the middle
east. They do this to colonize Palestinian Arabs
marking them as backward oriental homophobic
barbarians who incarcerate and execute their LGBT
community. We demand that Israel stops and treats
its LGBT community as Palestine treats theirs!
Boycott Israeli Psychiatry Israel boasts of its eminent psychiatrists and great
innovations in psychiatric care. Israel markets itself
as the sanest place in the Middle East.
But this is merely a ruse to mask its psychological
colonization of Palestine. Zionists have medically
Orientalized and meshugenized the indigenous
Palestinians, branding them crazy barbarians, who
are too violently primitive to govern themselves.
Zionist Stinkwashing
WTF
How dare you
serve
SodaStream
Palestinian Loss of Land Over Time
12 Tribes of Palestine – 1200 BC Davidic Kingdom of Palestine – 1000 BC Zionist Occupied Palestine - Today
First Temple
Era Palestine
Hamas Tlaib
Mufti
Sarsour
Al-Aqsa
Illegal Zionist
Military Outpost
Illegal Zionist
Ishmael Military Outpost
Meet Our Peace-Loving Partners
Jewish Voice For Palestine is thrilled that so many righteous Gentiles are eager to partner with us in liberating Palestine
from the White Supremacist Yoke of Zionism. If you would like to join our movement, please visit
www.letsendisrael.com and answer our brief questionnaire about the so-called Holocaust™
Remember: It’s not antisemitic if you don’t use the word “Jew”
Highlights from Our Educational Fundraiser For Gaza
Set List:
Performance followed by Tire Burning led by Linda Sarsour and Rasmea Odeh
Where To Go From Here
“Do not say ‘when I have tires I will burn them, when I have rocks I will throw them’, because
you may never have rocks or tires” – Hillel the Elder
Remember: You are now a genuine progressive and global citizen for helping to wipe Israel off the map
Where To Go From Here and What To Read Next
“From Oberlin to Illinois all the Zionazis have to go, to where exactly we don’t know!”
-Students for a Judenrein Palestine, UIUC
Remember: You are not alone in your ignorance. We are with you. Solidarity.
In celebrat-I mean in commemoration of The
Holocaust, let us remember the safe haven
provided for the white Zionists by our indigenous
brown Palestinian brothers and sisters.
We would like to thank the following individuals and organizations, for supporting us in our
tireless mission to liquidate Israel so that America will be a safer place for non -cis-
heteronormative disabled people of color
-IfNotNow for reacquainting us with the long forgotten Hebrew prayers we must say for Muslims bearing incendiary devices
-The University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign SJP Chapter for allowing a token Jew to advise them
-Ariel Gold and Code Pink for going to Iran and proving they have Jews, a Torah scroll, and gender-neutral bathrooms
-The US Department of Education for granting us Title VI funding
- Former Professor Steven Salaita for allowing us to use his school bus as a tire repository when he is not using it to
transport and teach toddlers about The Occupation, Intersectionalism, and Hezbollah
- Roger Waters for agreeing to spend the night with Linda Sarsour
- Jeremy Corbyn for providing a vision for the future of America
- Eli Valley for his Hitler mustaches
- Nylah Burton, Rebecca Pierce, and The Hipster Rebbe for being Jewish while Black
- And last but not least: Palestine, for being there today, tomorrow, and for having always been the homeland between the
River and the Sea, which Allah promised to the indigenous Palestinians through Scripture, to Moses, Jesus, and Yasser Arafat
This is a work of satire. Any resemblance of its contents to the platform of
Jewish Voice for Peace, IfNotNow, or other progressive [sic] Jewish [sic]
organizations is purely coincidental – albeit incredibly disturbing, but
coincidental, nonetheless.