Mentoring for Mentors

Running a discussion in lodge

©WBro Martin Roche

By the end of this session we
will have:
 Examined the process of
running a discussion and what it
involves
 Identified potential difficulties
and their solutions
 Defined your role
 Agreed a framework to complete
the task in hand
 Had a go!

©WBro Martin Roche

‘Discussion’

 An opportunity for individuals to

give open, equal and personal
responses to anything that
needs interpretation.
 A common search for meaning
that exposes ambiguities and
differences

©WBro Martin Roche

‘Facilitation’

 “To make easy”

 Its purpose:
 No one person has all the power
in the group
 No one person has all the
answers
 People „own‟ their opinions
(respect & tolerance)

©WBro Martin Roche

What it is … and is not!

 It isn’t about:
 Chairing a meeting … and you being the
focus
 „Being in charge‟
 Running group therapy!
 It must be about:
 You asking the initial questions
 Leading them to ask questions of each
other, which requires that
 They do most of the talking
 THEY REACH A CONCLUSION
©WBro Martin Roche
The pitfalls:

You doing all the

talking is easy
Listening is difficult

Not interrupting is
unbearable!
© WBro Martin Roche
What we must not do:

 Take sides
 Give personal opinions –
rhetorical/leading questions
 Provide answers to their issues
– advice in disguise!
 Constantly talk in anecdotes
(„… well, when I was …‟)
 Allow „ping-pong‟ exchanges
between two participants
 Be THE expert
© WBro Martin Roche
What we must do:

 Emphasise our role and keep

reminding them
 Create trust and maintain
respect
 Involve everyone
 Remain positive
 Value contributions („thank you
for that …‟)
 Keep calm – you and them
© WBro Martin Roche
What we must do:
 Keep questions open – those
that start with: who, what,
where, when, why, how (5WH)
and also:
 Tell me about …
 Explain for me …
 Describe to me …

 Provide constant affirmation

(„That‟s an interesting point …
what does everybody else
think?‟)
 Maintain a party line © WBro Martin Roche
What we must do:

 Keep the conversation

moving in the right direction;
therefore,
 Be prepared to remind them
of the question/point in hand
 Summarise frequently – it aids
consensus
 Make progress and reach
outcomes © WBro Martin Roche
Good examples of phrases
using open questions:
 We‟ve just covered an awful lot of
issues – can somebody
summarise the things we have
discussed?
 What do you all think about what
… has just said?
 Who else feels/thinks that?
 What would you do in that
situation?
© WBro Martin Roche
Good examples of phrases
using open questions:

 Why did you become a mason?

 How would you introduce a
potential member to your lodge?
 Where would you go to find out?
 What‟s your view on that?
 What type of person makes a
good mason?

© WBro Martin Roche

And some of the simplest
questions are the hardest …

 Such as …
Are you a better
person for being a
mason?
If so, how?

If not, why?

© WBro Martin Roche
Remember:
 Some people may be on a mission
in these meetings – and it may not
be the same as ours!
 This may be the first opportunity
some members have ever had to
express an opinion on anything –
never mind Masonic issues
 Maintaining control of the
proceedings is essential – but too
much control can become
manipulation
 Assist them to reach conclusions –
but do not impose them © WBro Martin Roche
Remember:
 Summaries must be an accurate
representation of their
deliberations and not a mixture of
your opinions and what you wish
they had said!
 There are not always right and
wrong answers – but there can still
be consensus and acceptance of
differences
 It‟s good when we admit our
mistakes – but we are sometimes
not very good in the way we point
out other peoples
© WBro Martin Roche
Remember:
 Masonry has to learn from its
mistakes – part of which is moving
on from them
 We don‟t need to know all the
answers – but we need to be able
to recognise them when they
appear
 We all need to know what
achievement … the outcome …
looks like (VERY important)
 The most powerful and meaningful
questions are the shortest ones
© WBro Martin Roche
Mentoring for Mentors

EXERCISE … or time to have a

go!

©WBro Martin Roche

Purpose of the exercise

 To come up with a consensus

about what freemasonry means
to you us a group
 Whilst doing this we will look at
the process as well as the
question
 The intent is to illustrate how to
run this yourself

©WBro Martin Roche

Exercise
 What does freemasonry mean to
you?
 As an individual and in your lodge
 Not the allegorical stuff
 One word answers only!
 Real words that you understand in
everyday language and that a layman
will.
 Think about how you would (or do)
describe it to a prospective
member AND their wife/partner?
 Have you ever thought about it?
 Have you ever tried?
© WBro Martin Roche
 It may also encompass…

 Why are you a mason?

 Why have you stayed a mason of your
lodge?
 What makes your masonry fun?
 And what doesn‟t!
 Is there anything you need to know so
that you are a better informed Mason?
 Does any body else in your lodge have
„the answers‟?
 If not, where will you get the answers?
© WBro Martin Roche
Finally
 In doing the exercise,
contributions will be recorded on
a flip chart
 Reason?
 Keep them on track
 Keep you on track!

 Aid discussion

 Ensure progress

 Reach a conclusion and have a

„product‟ to go away with
© WBro Martin Roche
 Question

What does Freemasonry mean to

you?

©WBro Martin Roche

Having gone through the
exercise …
 What have we achieved?
 The aim is that participants will now
be more confident to discuss THEIR
masonry with:
 A member of their lodge?
 A friend?
 A member of their family?
 A colleague?
 A potential new member?
 Could you run this exercise (address
this question) in a lodge?

© WBro Martin Roche

Having gone through the
exercise …

 Turn their deliberations into a list

of the top ten words that
summarise what they as a group
think masonry is
 Without realising it they have a
prompt which encompasses
what Masonry is to them and a
menu/agenda to describe it to
somebody else!
© WBro Martin Roche
And the big question…

What will you take away from this

session?

©WBro Martin Roche

Mentoring for Mentors

Running a discussion in lodge

©WBro Martin Roche