Reflection on “Soulmates”

A. In this piece of writing, I like the plot the most, and how the characters’
personalities. One of my favorite lines is when JJs first sees Simon get out of his
car. “I SEE THE BIRTHDAY BOY!” and how he proceeded to hype his best friend
is heartwarming.
B. I did not like the fact that I could not give much backstory and that I had to jump
into the climax. I started when Simon had gotten out of his car when I would like
to start when the clock had hit twelve am that morning. “The blonde-haired boy
had gotten out of his black Audi, his writs stained with two dinky handprints.”
C. The most difficult thing in this piece was keeping with the past tense, it gets
repetitive when you use had, had, would. “These indicated that his soulmate was
ambidextrous, which was no help to him at all.”
D. My peer editors had suggested I change the wording on some of my sentences.
They claimed it was too wordy and I agreed. “Now, as you may or may not have
known, here, in this world, on your eighteenth birthday, you would have received
a marking on your wrists. This in which gave you a hint on who your soulmate
was.” These sentences were combines so I had separated them and changed
the wording.
E. This piece is not as well written as my other pieces, I feel like I could’ve added
more depth with the markings of the handprints and fully connected them to
Frankie. “These indicated that his soulmate was ambidextrous, which was no
help to him at all.”
F. If I had to change my work, I would add more back story and I would add
confrontation at the end when Frankie and Simon talk about the imprints. “The
couple started to unravel after having shared a few words and one or two pecks,
got up, and dusted the grass clippings and dirt off of them… again.”
G. I want my audience to realize that there are endless possibilities in the world and
we are only a small part of it. You never know what’s out there in different
galaxies, dimensions, and light-years.
H. I need improvement on wording my sentences and sticking with the same tense.
There are no trade-offs or switching partners, you are with who you are destined
to be, and that's that. If by chance, someone did turn and became unloyal to their
partners, they would be exterminated immediately; but that rarely ever
happened.” Also, now looking at this, I would've made shorter sentences and
spaced them out better.
I. This piece shows that I think that a world like this hopes to exist and that I have a
strong belief of loyalty, honesty, and love.
J. My goal in my next piece of writing is to make sentences flow, and have strong,
descriptive sentences. I want to really show my readers the story, make them
feel like they are the main character.