Gabby Cullen

Dr. Parks

Self & Society-AI

13 May 2019

Social Psychology Autobiography

Throughout this course, I have thought back on my life and realized how many concepts I can

relate to. I have been able to apply the concepts learned to different aspects of my life. Fully

understanding one’s self and how they came to be is very important. I have learned that one’s

environment shapes one’s identity and can influence those around them. When it comes to my life, there

are many events that have shaped me into the person I am today. I have learned from my mistakes and

continue to change every day. The biggest influencers in my life are/were my mother, father, and my

grandmother. They have taught me life lessons as well as words to live by. Most importantly, I have come

to realize my own sense of self and my identity from the help of others.

My life is only a small story compared to the big story that is society. My personal story has made

me into the person I am today, and society has helped me become confident in that person. Ever since I

was young, my parents have always been my role models. They have taught me everything I know, from

what to expect of society and how to behave while “acting” in society. Having interacted with others

when young has also socialized me and linked me to society. Realizing there are other people in the world

like me gives me comfort. Starting from when I was young I had friends that understood and accepted me

for who I am even though I was not even sure who I truly was. I think having these friends while growing

up helped me understand community and what it actually stood for. My true friends were always there for

me even if I had upset them. This is where I relate the concept of impression management to my life. I

always wanted to be seen as my best self and nothing less. If something were to happen between my

family or friends and me, I would try my best to make sure they still thought of me as the same person.

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For example, one particular friend of mine told me she could not be my friend anymore because I was

friends with someone she did not like. She told me that I had betrayed her and she could not look at me

the same. This hurt me because I realized I had hurt her. I also recognized how her impression of me had

changed. I did not like this and wanted to fix our friendship as soon as possible because I did not want to

be seen as someone I was not. When I look back on this, I realize that no one can truly stay the same. We

are constantly growing and learning more about ourselves which ultimately leads to change. Earl

Babbie’s article, “Truth, Objectivity, and Agreement,” explains how the world is always changing;

therefore, individuals do too (1986). Everyone has a different sense of reality and each person has to

decide between what is true and what is not. Isn’t it our differences that bring us all together?

With the help from society, I have become who I am today. There are social norms which every

individual is expected to follow in society, but not everyone decides to follow these rules. It is through

socialization in which we become human and teaches us ways to think, talk and act. O’Brien writes,

“Socialization is a process of learning the gestures, cues, and expectations that enable us to engage in

successful social performances of roles and identities” (2017). One essentially has to “perform” when in

society and this helps them fall into a specific role. This is where gender roles can come about as well.

Males and females are said to be completely different in how they should behave in society. Gender

socialization begins when we are born and parents attribute gender characteristics to their children. I can

relate this concept to my life because I have one brother. While growing up, my parents tried to raise us in

the same way and did not give us certain “roles” to follow. My brother and I were able to play with any

toy we wanted, regardless of if it was meant for the other gender or not. I would take on different “roles”

such as a mother or teacher when I was playing alone or with my friends. Role taking is the ability to take

the role of others in interactions. I developed my sense of “I” through learning about my own unique traits

and I developed my “me” by being aware of the demands others. This “I” and “me” concept is important

in developing one’s sense of self because an individual must be able to see themselves from a perspective

of someone else. Mead wrote, “And it is necessary to rational conduct that the individual should thus take

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an objective, impersonal attitude toward himself, that he should become an object to himself” (1934).

Once I saw myself from another person’s point of view, I was able to think rationally about my choices

and actions. Although my parents did not say I had to “behave like a lady,” I knew that was what was

expected of me because I was a girl. Being a female has impacted my experiences in life because I was

able to see how other girls behaved and also boys. During my middle school years, I would see my

teachers pay more attention to the girls who were crying in class and did not turn much to the boys when

they did. This became more noticeable as I grew up. If I was out at a grocery store with my mother, I

would see families with daughters and sons and when the daughters cried, they were consoled, not the

boys. This helped me understand the world around me. My mother would let me choose what I wanted to

wear to school when I was younger and even if she did not approve of what I chose, she let me wear it

anyway. Being a kid, I did not mind how others viewed me until I fully developed my sense of self. My

interactions with others helped me understand the attitudes of a community and it has helped me become

self-conscious of my actions. My brother has also helped me define myself and who I really am. I saw

how different I was from him, but also how similar we were. I realized that I was unique and had different

attitudes than him. I believe we are who we are due to our environment, how we are socialized, but also

how we see ourselves and how others perceive us. I imagine how I look to others all the time and this is

known as Cooley’s looking glass self. Cooley said, “Each to each a looking-glass, reflects the other that

doth pass” (1983). I take a look at myself and wonder how others will perceive me. I have been this way

since I was younger and it continues to shape me. I worry how others view or judge me based on my

appearance and if I believe they perceive me in one way, I will try to reconsider what I can do to change

that judgement.

I believe that everyone has their own looking glass and will shape their behaviors based on the

perception of others. This is how community shapes individuals and has a large influence on us. I feel as

though I have shaped my community through my own identity and who I am. As noted before, one must

“act” or “perform” in society to be seen as “normal.” For example, when I am in public I follow society’s

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norms such as walking on the right side of the sidewalk, holding the door open for someone right behind

me, wearing appropriate clothing and using polite language. These things are what other people in society

expect of others. It is also important to notice society’s norms and act accordingly or one will be seen as

deviant. “Performing” in public is discussed in Arlie Russell Hochschild’s article titled, “The Managed

Heart: Commercialization of Human Feeling.” The author writes about flight attendants and how they are

the face of airline companies and says, “In the airline industry the play goes on, but the costumes are

gradually altered, the script is shortened little by little, and the style of acting itself is changed—at the

edge of the lips, in the cheek muscles, and in the mental activities that regulate what a smile means”

(1983). Everywhere in society we see people pretending. Community is about people putting on a

charade. I personally act a certain way in public and always smile at others even when I am having a bad

day. I want others to have a good impression of me, but also because that is my personality. There are

times where mindlessness can occur and that is when people are not concerned about consequences. I am

always concerned about the consequences of my actions and think big decisions through thoroughly

before making a choice. This is a part of who I am, but I do understand how people can become mindless.

Author Ellen Langer, describes this concept of mindfulness and mindlessness. She states, “When we

blindly follow routines or unwittingly carry out senseless orders, we are acting like automatons, with

potentially grave consequences for ourselves and others” (1990). Routines can force mindlessness to

come about and it can be destructive. I have fallen into routines a lot and have been guilty of being

mindless. I often times become so focused on other things and forget about the world I am living in. I

become consumed in my work and forget about the important things to me like my family. There have

been times in college where I go a week without calling my parents just because I was too busy doing

other things. This is unlike me because I talk to my parents almost every other day. Although they

understand, I blame myself on being mindless. I try to continue to make sure I am mindful of those

around me and mindful of the decisions I make. Making sure those close to me know I care for them is

what I ultimately want. Interactions with others is very important when it comes to one’s self as well as

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the community. If society became mindless and only acted “automatically” then the true value of

interaction would be gone.

A social factor that plays into my life experiences is my culture. My culture has helped me

understand myself as well as my community. When living in a world with different societies around us, it

can confuse us even more when developing our sense of self; however, differences are not bad.

Differences can help bring people together. Those who lived in my subdivision shared the same values as

me such as kindness, respect, and loyalty. Almost everyone knew their neighbors and others living in the

subdivision which made getting to know one another easy. Being kind, respecting one another and

remaining loyal are very important to me and I like to surround myself with others who feel the same.

This is why I think growing up where I did made me into the person I am today. My friends were like

family to me and would always be treated like family when in my home. I had friends who were a part of

different cultures and this was a learning experience for me. I was able to see how greetings varied across

a few cultures and how different languages were spoken. Learning about different cultures when young

was very beneficial and opened my eyes to different “worlds.” It has made me appreciate what I have and

also what other cultures have. In Pamela Perry’s article, “Shades of White,” she discusses the us-them

construction that includes a majority and minority of people (2001). This article made me think back on

my childhood, but also where I am in life right now and the people I have met. Racism is definitely still

prevalent in today’s society, but as a child, I did not recognize it. Today, people have the “us versus

them” mentality and it is not helpful in any way. I continue to see everyone as equal, no matter the color

of their skin. In all of my lifetime I have had friends from different backgrounds and never considered

them to be inferior to me. I think more people have to think in this manner because how can communities

come together if they do not accept everyone else for who they are? From a young age, I was able to see

how other cultures live and it is different from how I do, but that shapes my own identity. My friends,

family, and those around me make me who I am and I could not be more confident in who I have become.

Overall, learning these different concepts in class has helped me understand myself better, but also helped

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me make sense of the world. It is useful to understand the connection between our individual selves and

the larger society because one’s actions, no matter how big or small, can affect the world. One’s society is

ruled by individuals and we make it what it is. Seeing how an individual “fits” into society and how they

can contribute to the common good is important. What I have learned will impact me beyond just this

class because I can apply certain concepts to the real world.

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 References

Babbie, E. (1986). Truth, objectivity, and agreement. The Production of Reality.

Cooley, C. (1983). Looking-glass Self. The Production of Reality.

Hochschild, A. (1983). The managed heart: Commercialization of human feeling. The Production of

Reality.

Langer, E. (1990). Mindfulness and mindlessness. The Production of Reality.

Lankenau, S. (1999). Panhandling repertoires and routines for overcoming the nonperson treatment. The

Production of Reality.

Mead, G. (1934). The self, the I, and the me. The Production of Reality.

O’Brien, J. (2017). The Production of Reality, 6 Edition. Sage Publishing.

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Perry, P. (2001). Shades of white. The Production of Reality.