OLUWADAMILARE

(GOD HAS VINDICATED ME)

LOVE EBUNLOLA SAMUEL

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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1: Desperate for a child
Chapter 2: Anxiety
Chapter 3: He said NO
Chapter 4: Perhaps, I am barren
Chapter 5: You can’t have my mind, Satan
Chapter 6: Pregnant
Chapter 7: Delivery drama
Chapter 8: The call
Chapter 9: The operation
Chapter 10: Thanksgiving

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CHAPTER 1:
Desperate for a child

There is a special joyful ambience the arrival of a child brings. Old scores are
settled, extended families bond and happiness is in the air.
In my previous marriage, I experienced this with the birth of daughter. Although
my side of the family could not be there for me as much as they would have
wanted to, I was glad that everyone else was happy. At the time, my happiness
did not count. The peace that was prevalent was most important.

As that marriage began to spin out of control, I got desperate to save it.
Counselling had failed and I was ashamed of the reality that stared me in the face-
a failed marriage. How would I return home? What would happen to my parent’s
reputation? What would people say about me?
I thought it best to stay in that marriage irrespective of how bad things were. A
brilliant idea came to mind- Get pregnant!

I was certain that the love of another child brewing will fix all that was broken
between us. Basic communication was dead at this point, thus the thought of
trying for another child was a herculean task.

I was a pro at ovulation calculation. Days leading up to my fertile days, I would put
on my big girl pants and attempt to start a conversation. Most months, he saw
through it and would mock me. I did not let that deter me, I was determined. I
was subjected to humiliating experiences I would rather not pen down. Some
months intimate relations happened and I would beg God to let it lead to a baby
so I won’t have to go through it again the following month but it did not happen.

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Chapter 2:
Anxiety

I bought pregnancy test strips in bulk and would test every other day and it was
always a big fat NEGATIVE.
On a certain day, my temperature was quite high and I went to the pharmacy. As
the pharmacist took note of my complains, he blurted out, ‘’Madam, are you sure
you are not pregnant?’’ Hay God, my chest. God had finally answered my prayers.
He sold drugs to me but advised I carried out a pregnancy test. I went home and
did the pregnancy strip test and it was negative. I was convinced in my soul that I
was pregnant, so I went to a laboratory for a blood test. I have never been as
anxious as I was waiting for that result. After a few minutes, I was handed my
result. It was negative. I went back to my office and cried till my eyes were
swollen.

That was the first of many more visits to that lab. I went there so much that I
began to get regular discounts. I went EVERY week except during menstruation. I
believed so much that I was pregnant and they just could not detect it. I practiced
how I would give the testimony. I think at some point, I began to lose my mind. I
put myself on ridiculous diets that supposedly aided conception. What a waste of
time!

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Chapter 3:
He said No

“He said he didn’t want to have another child with me. Then the begging started.
He eventually agreed but at the costly price of having to beg for intercourse every
time. It was dehumanizing but I sucked it up. It was a price I was willing to pay.
Months passed by and I would pray and cry before God. I became a mess. I added
a lot of weight. I was frustrated. I would write it everywhere in my journal how
much I wanted for God to bless me with a child. It would be reason enough for me
to continue to stay in that abusive marriage.
God declined that request because that should never be a reason for staying. I
just could not see ahead. His refusal to answer that prayer was Him working
things out for my good. I may probably have continued to stay in that negative
environment if I had another child. Who knows the kind of negative energy I
would have transferred to the child in the womb due to the immense sadness in
my heart.
What we term disappointment is indeed a blessing in disguise. God lets us go
through some things because there is a bigger picture. Who would have thought
that Joseph who was sold into slavery by his own brothers would eventually be
the person to save Canaan from famine in Genesis 50:17? Joseph’s brothers were
apologizing for selling him off but in Psalms 105:17, the Bible records ‘Then he
sent someone to Egypt ahead of them- Joseph, who was sold as a slave.’
They SOLD him, God SENT him. God had seen ahead that many years from that
time, they would need someone to deliver them from hunger. God could have
saved Joseph from his brothers but how then would he fulfil destiny? He needed
to go through slavery to become a saviour. The ways of God are
incomprehensible. Sometimes, He takes a straight path, other times he takes
crooked paths. In whatever way He chooses to work in our life, know that He has
your best interest at heart. ‘’For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith
the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.
Jeremiah 29:11 (KJV).’’

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This is an excerpt from my book 31 Mornings and it perfectly sums up this
chapter. Although God’s ‘No’ was painful at the time. I sucked it up and decided
to trust in his perfect will.

Chapter 4:
Perhaps, I am barren

That marriage eventually led to separation and I filed for a divorce and it was
granted speedily. I started a new life and soon everything was behind me.
Occasionally however, I would often wonder if it was God that caused my womb
not to conceive for nearly 2 years after Nifemi or if I was barren.

Then I met my husband, Ehi (long story for another day). Our friendship
blossomed into a relationship and a year and few months later, we were planning
to get married. I told him of my concerns. I was not afraid to be vulnerable. I
feared that I would not conceive. He laughed it off. He said and I quote ‘’…even if
we do not have children, it changes nothing but trust me, we will have children
because we desire children and God grants our heart desires.’’ (Insert long
awwwwwwwww)

I knew at that moment I was blessed. I was still not fully convinced though, so I
dragged him along for a test to know if I was medically okay. It was the longest 3-
days wait ever. The result came out and I was fine.

The great result provided all the burst I needed to carry on with the wedding
planning. I was so excited. Then someone had a vision. According to this person,
we spent all our lives looking for a child. This person then shared it with my
husband and advised him not to marry me. What a wawu! Then the whispers
started. You see, my willingness to be open with my story in my book and my
social media landed me in trouble. People wrote me off as barren. Then I began to
think again, ‘perhaps, I am barren’. The one that hurt the most was when it was
said that they probably chased me out of the previous marriage because I could
not conceive. Chai e enter!

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Chapter 5:
You can’t have my mind, Satan

I was not going to let the devil take over my mind again. I got my journal out and
wrote down verses from the Bible on fear. The top 10 verses are John 14:27,
Isaiah 43:1, Psalm 23:4, Psalm 27:1, Psalm 118:6, Isaiah 41:10, Isaiah 54:4, I John
4:18, Phillipians 1:6 and Romans 8:28. I personalized these verses and read them
to myself in the mornings and at night (a therapy prescribed to me by one of my
big sisters in Christ).

This therapy worked like magic and I recommend it. Soon, with the help of God
and a praying partner, I silenced all the negative voices in my head. Like Romans
8:28 says, I believed that everything would work together for my good.

And on the 2nd of February, 2019, we were married. Yay! I am still in awe of how
God made everything beautiful. On the 15th of February while I slept, I had a
dream. I saw a white sheet of paper that was rolled up. It gradually began to
unravel itself and when it was finally opened, I saw the words ‘’JOEL 2:25” boldly
written. I woke up immediately and opened the verse on my phone. The scripture
says, ‘’…I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten, the
cankerworm, and the caterpillar, and the palmerworm…’’.

I leapt for joy and rushed to tell my husband that I had conceived. I believed by
faith and nobody could tell me nothing. We were so excited. We just had to wait
for the physical manifestation before sharing. As usual, I got pregnancy test kits
and tried a few days to my period, it came out NEGATIVE. A urine test should have
picked it up at this time, so I worried. Lol, the devil really tried it. On the day my
period was to start, there was no discharge but the test still read NEGATIVE. Kai,
the devil is mad sha but I showed him that in Christ, I am madder. I was not going
to let him steal my joy.

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On Wednesday, the 27th of February, 2019, husbae, Nifemi and I went to the
hospital for a blood test. I was so nervous. It was a big POSITIVE! Yassssss! After
so many NOs in my life, finally a YES.

I should also mention that one week after the wedding, we received advice on
trusting God for the fruit of the womb and how my husband should behave in the
‘waiting’ period. They did not even give us a chance. We were just one week
old!!!!!!!! Like, we were really written off.

P.S I know all these details because I document everything. I suggest that
everyone gets a journal. It helps you see how far God has brought you on paper.

Chapter 6:
Pregnant

It was a beautiful journey. I was pampered by the everyone (I think I am ready for
baby 3! Amen? Amen!).

The moment we found out our baby was a boy. I knew his Yoruba name had to be
‘Oluwadamilare’. God had finally vindicated me from the judgments of men. He
fought for me and won. Because of my victory in Jesus, I can walk tall today.
I experienced supernatural strength. I went to work every day until the day I
delivered. There was absolutely no issue. I made a covenant with God on the day I
found out I was pregnant that I would not let the pregnancy affect my service to
God. I showed up for every service, rehearsal, duty etc. everyday irrespective of
how I felt. I accepted every singing assignment even when I was out of breath half
of the time. It was my worship to God.

Chapter 7:
Delivery drama

My EDD (Expected date of delivery) was 5th November, 2019 according to my LMP
on the 29th of January, 2019. I was so excited as my brother’s birthday is 7th
November while my mum’s is 13th November. However, my scans as my
pregnancy progressed read 26th October, 2019 as my EDD. My dad’s birthday is

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27th October! If you know my dad, you can imagine how excited he was at the
probability of his first grandson being his birthday mate. My husband and I kept
our fingers crossed for a late October baby or an early November baby.
The 26th of October came and passed with no sign at all. Then the 27th. My dad
kept hoping for a miracle till it was 12 midnight when he gave up. Baby refused to
be birthday mates with him. LOL.

On Tuesday, the 29th of October, I saw the bloody show. Medically, this means
baby is on the way in a few hours or days. This was such a welcome development
because I had not felt the baby move for about two days. I thought my mind was
playing tricks. Nothing happened that day but I was glad that at least I saw the
show.

I decided to attend my antenatal clinic on Wednesday, the 30th of October. I told

the doctor about the show and the reduced movements. He immediately advised
that I should be admitted for induction (the process of stimulating uterine
contraction before labour begins on its own). He felt I was only 6 days away from
my EDD and it was not worth it to gamble with my baby.
I could not process it alone. I told them I wanted to go discuss with my husband.
The nurses strongly advised that I came in that afternoon to begin the process.
After discussion with my husband, we decided I should go for it. I was nervous as I
have heard the very painful stories of induction. By 4pm, I was back to the
hospital and a pill was placed under my tongue to dissolve. I was supposed to
begin contractions in 6 hours but nothing happened. My whole family was with
me and all of us had begun to panic. A second dosage was given and still nothing.
From 4pm when I arrived, my baby’s heart beat was not stable. It kept fluctuating.
From very high to normal to low. It was a horrible experience watching the
nurses’ whisper to themselves. By about 3am, I was placed on a drip. My mum
was losing at this point. They felt I was dehydrated and so it was affecting the
baby but I was not. In that moment I knew that it was serious and I was glad I
spoke up about the reduced, almost non-existent movements I had. The drip
worked and baby’s heart beat was back to normal. There was no labour that day.

By morning, all my family members left to attend to work issues and were to be
back in 2 hours. I was all alone in the room. A nurse came in to check the baby’s
heartbeat again. I saw panic in her eyes. I asked her what the problem was and
she said ’’it has gone high again. I will get a doctor”. I tried to stay calm for a few

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minutes but I could not. I went to the nurse’s station and told them I wanted a
doctor immediately. They asked what the problem was and I told them a nurse
just checked and my baby’s heartbeat is high again. They asked me to go and said
someone would come to me. As I left, the nurse who checked me came in
through the other side and I overheard them scolding her for letting me know the
true state of what was going on. They said it would be on her head if my blood
pressure goes up. I don’t know where hot tears came from. I began to wail. The
nurses rushed out to comfort me. ‘’God, I cannot lose my baby. Please don’t take
him from me’’, I kept saying while crying. I called my husband and my mum and
fortunately, they reached as the doctor came in.

The doctor said he would advise we get the baby out that day because of the
failed induction and the irregular heartbeat. I asked how the baby would come
out and he said by caesarian operation. I looked at my husband and said ‘’in my
family, we give birth by ourselves not CS’’. LOL. How foolish! I could not make up
my mind so the doctor left and gave me time to think it through. My mother then
reminded us about 3 revelations from different people that had to do with my
delivery. We then saw how God’s hand had been ordering our steps. We thanked
God and committed everything to his hands. I am truly grateful that God
surrounded me with great people who spoke sense to me and gave me godly
counsel.

Chapter 8:
The call

At the point where my husband signed the consent form, a call came in to my
mum’s phone. It was from my dad who was outside the country. He said one of
the pastors from church had just called to share a dream. In the dream, she said I
was about to deliver but that the doctors said I would not be able to deliver
vaginally except by operation. She did not know what it meant but she decided to
share. It came right at the nick of time. That call made me tremble at the
greatness of God. “Who is LOVE that you are so mindful of her?” (Psalm 8:4). If
you have never believed in the existence of God, please let my story convince
you. It could not have been coincidence. That call changed everything. It was all
the confirmation I needed. It still amazes me at how God is very deliberate and
intentional towards me. Like the call came in right at the time the decision was to

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be made. No prior knowledge, no nothing. Wow! And there are still people who
do not believe in the existence of God? Soon, I was taken into the theatre.

Chapter 9:
The Operation

It was an unplanned operation. I did not know what to expect but I felt comforted
when the surgeons held their hands together and prayed before they began. I had
an epidural so I was conscious to see all that was going on even though I could not
move. They found my baby in a corner in my tummy with the cord tightly
wrapped around his neck. Kai, satan is a bastard!
Baby was fine. His dad and the nurse took him to my mum while my husband
came back to the theatre to be with me. He experienced it all. My mother was in
panic and doing drama outside. I am glad that we can laugh about it today.

The aftermath of the operation was something else. I felt like life was leaving my
body after I was taken back to my room. I began to gasp for air. My little Nifemi
was petrified as she looked on. I was glad someone immediately noticed and took
her out of the room. I said a prayer in my heart for God to keep me for my kids.
Then I began to throw up in different directions. I was immediately given some
injections and I calmed down. The doctor said I had just experienced intense fear.
I do not know what happened but God spared me.

By the following morning, I was able to hold my sonshine: Raphael Ehigocho

Oluwadamilare Samuel in my arms. The most perfect gift from God.

Raphael- God has healed

Ehigocho-A gift from God
Oluwadamilare- God has vindicated me

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Chapter 10:
Thanksgiving

I, Love Ebunlola Samuel is using this medium to say THANK YOU GOD. The same
me that they said could not conceive is here 9 months (actually 8 months and 29
days for those that want to help me count) later with her miracle. Indeed God has
judged and He has vindicated me!

To my sweet amazing husband. Baby, thank you for all you do for us. You are the
kindest, most thoughtful man I know. Thank you for being Christ-like. Thank you
for spoiling me silly. Thanks for being the best father. I must have done something
great to be rewarded with a man like you. I love you so much.

To my children; Oluwanifemi and Raphael, thank you for choosing me.

To the best parents in the world; thank you for always being in my corner.

To you reading this; know that there is no problem too big for God. I want you to
know and believe that no matter the greatness of a man, he is not God. Only God
has the final say in your life. Let them say. Let them scorn. Let them jest. Leave
them and ensure that you are in right standing with God. Only He matters and
when He answers, He will do it in the very place you have been mocked. Your
testimony is on the way.

With all the love in my heart,

Your favourite writer girl,
Love.

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