Вот что получится если перевести «У Вуди встала шишка» на все языки в гугл переводчике.

Да. Эта страница на других языках 3. Поиск бар захватывает Энди Вэнь и Хуан Мао
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+Рецензия на английском от ТГ.

Part 1: A Love Story

One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood.

•The important thing to realize about this sentence is that it presupposes that the reader is familiar with
the Toy Story films from the same era. In these movies, Andy is a human child and Woody is the name of
his favorite toy, a stuffed cowboy doll. In the setting of the film, all toys are animate, but merely pretend
to be inanimate while humans are around. It is in this fantasy world that our story also takes place. In the
first sentence alone, Woody's got Wood gives the reader all of the information they need to understand
the setting. Both protagonists of the work, Andy and Woody are named, and the fact that Andy is
masturbating implies that Woody's got Wood takes place some time between the second and third films,
after Andy has started puberty but before he has given the toys away. The sentence also lets the reader
know that they toys have biological functions akin to their anatomy, so Woody has the ability to get
"wood" or, an erection. This use of slang is a common literary trope for informal settings, seen to the
extreme in works such as The Clockwork Orange, and shows the audience that the characters are
distanced from mainstream society. The sentence also functions as a hook to get the reader further into
the work.
He could no longer help himself!

•He (Woody), in this sentence is shown at being incredibly sexually frustrated. The reader is left to assume
that Woody has seen Andy masturbate many times in the past but has been unable to pleasure himself
because he must remain motionless to keep up the facade. It is at this point that Woody cannot resist his
sexual urges any longer and acts upon them. Several literary analysts insist that his sentence is an
allusion to the Greek god Zeus, also unable to resist sexual temptation despite other commitments.
He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock.

•Some believe that this sentence was actually intended to be the second sentence in the work, however
its unusual placement was entirely intentional. This sentence shows the reader exactly how sexually
attracted to Andy Woody is. Woody focuses singularly on this one part of Andy's anatomy. Andy's penis is
described as "juicy" but it is unclear if this word means that Andy's penis is covered in Cowper's fluid, or if
his penis is being compared to something large and thick, like a juicy piece of fruit. This wording is still
hotly debated among Woody's got Wood scholars. The use of the word "kawaii" is also very interesting, as
it is the first of several uses of Japanese in Woody's got Wood. Inexperienced readers sometimes think
that this implies that Andy and Woody are Japanese in the setting of this work, but that is an incorrect
interpretation. Instead, the word "kawaii" is borrowed because the authors sentiments cannot be properly
expressed in English. While the word literally translates to "cute," there is more to the word than that.
Kawaii is an entire aspect of Japanese culture, giving it a much grander meaning than our word. The
author is attempting to covey this importance here because of how important Andy is to Woody.
Additionally, the word is juxtaposed next to the word "cock," a typically vulgar word. This shocks the
reader and alerts them that Woody's got Wood is going to be extremely intimate and vulgar and will not
be censored just for the audience's sake.
He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on
Woody too.

•At this point in the story, Woody has given up the charade of being just a toy and has confronted Andy
directly. Discovering that one's inanimate toys were in fact, capable of independent movement would be
shocking to anyone, and Andy is no exception. Indeed, Andy is so startled that he loses control of his
bladder. Cynics frequently point out that human males cannot urinate when erect, as the external urethral
sphincter closes, however this is not always true as the internal urethral sphincter (which is closer to the
bladder) remains open until orgasm, thus it is possible, though unlikely, to spontaneously urinate if the
external urethral sphincter receives a sudden shock. In this case, so much urine was accidentally released
it flowed "everywhere on the floor" as well as on Woody himself. The urine of course did not literally go
"everywhere," that is merely an overstatement for dramatic effect.
Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever!

•This sentence has confused many readers, as it is unclear which of the characters is becoming more
"hard" or having a more powerful erection. The issue is primarily one of grammar, but the debate is very
important in the events of the story. There are two camps among scholars, each believing it refers to
difference characters. The A-Urolagniaists believe that the sentence is to be read as a stand alone and
Andy is the subject of the both pronoun. In this interpretation, Andy has become more aroused after being
drenched in his own urine. W-Urolagniaists believe that the oblique pronoun "him" refers to Woody, as
Woody was the last subject directly mention. In this interpretation, after being covered in Andy's urine,
Woody became more aroused. W-Urolagniaists argue that since Woody is the only character directly
mentioned to have urine on him, he must be the one getting harder. A-Urolagniaists counter by saying
that the author has omitted specifics several times in the work, and it implied that while peeing with an
erection in a sitting position, Andy would have gotten some of his urine on himself. The debate rages in
Space Universities even today.
Part 2: The Lover's Confession
Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU."

•Here, Woody's got Wood completely changes its narrative style. Rather than being written in story
format, the author chooses to eschew traditional technique in order to write the dialog like that of a play.
An extremely bold risk, but it remains one of the reasons the story has gotten so popular. When one of the
characters speaks, the book has their name written and then a colon. The name is not to be read aloud,
but instead used to alert the reader which character is speaking. Woody has two sentences here, first and
exclamation and then a proper pair of statements. First, Woody gets Andy's attention by calling him "Andy
Senpai." Senpai is another Japanese word borrowed because of a lack of English equivalent. Senpai is an
honorific term used when speaking to an older classmate. Presumably, Woody is using it because he has
grown up with Andy, but Andy is of course older than him. Woody then goes on to admit the truth to Andy
that he is alive, and caught up in the moment admits his sexual desire. "To be inside someone" is a
euphemism for sexual intercourse, as the penis enters a part of the other person's body through an
orifice. In this sentence however, it has a double meaning, the second as the reader will see being quite
literal.
Andy: "Oh Woody Chan!

•Three sentences from Andy here show Andy's reaction to learning of Woody's confession. First, Andy
responds in kind to Woody's use of Japanese honorifics, calling him Woody Chan. Chan is a term of
endearment attached to the names of people that are close to the speaker, usually women. Chan can be
used for men, but it is often mocking or used for men who are extremely feminine. In this case Woody is
being called Chan because of his small size in comparison to Andy.
I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!"

•Andy continues, affirming to Woody that he was already aware that Woody was alive, and knew for some
time. It is unclear if it means to say Andy literally knew Woody was alive, having discovered evidence of it,
or if he merely had suspicions that were confirmed when Woody confronted him. Either way, Andy
continues and tells Woody that he feels the same way about him. Andy informs Woody that he wants to
have Woody inside him, specifically to put all of Woody inside of his anus. Rectal stimulation via the
prostate is very common in homosexual relationships, and this is no exception. Given Woody's small size,
it is unlikely that his penis would be very pleasurable to Andy, so Andy decides to take Woody's offer of
being "inside him" literally by stuffing Woody's entire body up his rectum. Note the second use of "kawaii"
followed by a explicative for a dramatic juxtaposition. This repetition reminds the reader of what is to
come, giving the faint of heart one last chance to turn away.
Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head

•Woody has now been given the chance to act on his long repressed sexual urges. Eager to please his
beloved Andy, he obeys his request without a hint of hesitation, seriously implying that the two share a
much deeper and more passionate love for one another. This subtext is re-inforced by their mutual desire
to have Woody physically inside of Andy, rather than the more common definition of the term wherin one
simply engages in sexual intercourse with the other.
Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite!"

•Once again, we feel the unspoken mutual affection of our two star crossed lovers through the subtleties
of this tale. Though they have never held a conversation together up until now, Andy's deep connection to
his soul mate has surpassed the need for words, and he has provided Woody with his favorite flavor of
sexual lubricant (not to be confused with the more dangerous and malevolent "Space Lube").
Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room
watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously
making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered
around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to
masturbate.

•It is clear now that the other toys have all been harboring a similar unrequited love for Andy, and seeing
one of their own being used as a dildo has gotten their attention, though sadly this will lead to tragedy.
Scholars debate where the noise is coming from, but it is assumed the lube is likely its source. The act of
urination and masturbation is meant to be a clear parallel to the beginning of the story, although the mind
boggles as to how the toys could urinate.
Part 3: Tragedy Ensues
Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is
stimulating my prostate! OH YES!"

•The script format reappears again, allowing Andy to affirm his sexual arousal via Woody's activity.
Stimulation of the prostate has indeed been reported to be highly arousing, often to the point of eliciting
ejaculation independent of an erection in some cases. The exclamation at the end of this segment is an
obvious sign that he is very close to climax, and his directing it to Woody reinforces the bond between boy
and toy.
All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore!
They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be
inside Andy's nice round ass.

•The jealousy of all the other toys has pushed them to desperate measures, in a very literal manner. No
longer content with the voyeuristic thrill of watching Woody please Andy, they selfishly attempt to take
his place with no regard for Andy's feelings or health. Incidentally, it should be noted that just like Woody,
the other toys were equally sexually frustrated up until this point in time.
Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full!"

•Andy vainly pleads with his toys to consider his well-being, but as mentioned previously they are too far
gone to consider such practical issues. This is also the final script segment, ominously hinting at Andy's
fate.
All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and
died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy,
dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

•One can only assume that the sheer number of toys present in Andy's colon caused a fatal perforation of
the intestinal walls, which would have undoubtedly led to a quick and excruciatingly painful death via a
combination of exsanguination and infection. Similarly, his abdominal region may have become bloated if
it is assumed that Andy's mother was unable to discover him for a sufficiently long time, as a buildup of
gases due to bacterial activity is a common result of the later stages of the decomposition process.